#going to be good for me at all but my supervisor said it cant be changed for six months but im freaking out over these long ass days

[thewispsings]

Hi can u do a smau with max where reader is a doc for f1 and when max unfortunately has an accident she is one of the first responders(dont know what they are called!!!) And he just stares at her and its like love at first sight for him(he fell first and HARDER!!!!!) and everyone online could see it as well

Some teasing from other drivers as well

And proceed how u deem fit

Loved the sister in law one!!!!!!!

doctor lady | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x doctor!reader

summary: max never thought he would be happy getting a injury that puts him out of racing for three months, but when he has a doctor like you? he can’t help but be a little happy.

liked by landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 816,074 others!

maxverstappen1: we are allllm good guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are aliveee wnd well babybyvy 🤘AND me and lanHOE (becuare he id a BOE) got a pretty doctory lady 🥰🥰🥰 she’s sooooooooioiiooooo nice and prety AND she made us NOT feel pain so we love her 😍😍😍😍😍

view comments below!

user1: they got him on those GOOD painkillers

user2: we’ve seen drunk max, but drugged max? a whole new level

landonorris: guy our lady doctor is soilioooooooooo prety 😍

maxverstappen1: HEY NO 😡😡 i alreadys called dibs!!!!!! she’s MY prety doctor lady. she game ME her instagran and i’m takin HER on a date!

yourusername: if my supervisor is reading this, i gave him my instagram and agreed going on a date with him because he was being difficult, started crying, and wouldn’t take his medication until i did.

maxverstappen1: HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE

user2: started crying??? max verstappen started crying???

user3: pain meds do that to you 🤕

user4: i need a video of that right now

user5: he is out of IT. i can’t wait till he wakes up and realizes what he’s done

charles_leclerc: happy you’re okay mate!

maxverstappen1: oh charles i have missed you dearly 🥰🥰 so happy you got 1st!!!!!!!

charles_leclerc: thank you max ❤️

maxverstappen1: i can wait for you to meet my future wife!!!!!!!! you’ll love her! she saved me life ❤️

charles_leclerc: someone please take his phone away

maxverstappen1: NOOOOO I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FUTURE WIFR 😡

user6: max, charles is just trying to save you from the embarrassment

user7: when he sobers up, he either won’t give a shit and continue OR he’ll be so embarrassed and he’ll never show his face again

yourusername: everyone, please don’t pay mind to max, he is under very heavy drugs, and is not in a right state of mind. we have tried confiscating his phone, but he starts kicking and becomes difficult.

user8: i know this girl is scared for her job 😭

user9: having max as a drugged out patient seems horrible

user10: literal nightmare material

maxverstappen1: MYYY LOVVER HELLO

user11: good lord #freeyn

danielricciardo: i would say, i hope you recover, but i have a feeling you don’t want to recover?

maxverstappen1: I DONTTTT I NEVER EANT TO RECIVER BECAUSE THAT MEANS NOT SEEING MY BEAUTIFUL LADY DOCTOR SO NO!!! NO RECOVERY FOR ME

danielricciardo: screenshotting all of this for later 🤣

landonorris: i’m hungry, maxie can you tell lady doctor i’m hungry?

yourusername: you can talk to me lando. i’ll go get you something.

landonorris: NOOOO I CABR TALK TO THE LADY DOCTOR MAX SAID I CANT AND HE DAID IF I DID HESS GOING TO KILL ME AND I DONT WANT TO BE KILLED AHHHH

maxverstappen1: YOU FONT GET TO TALK TO MY PRETTY DOCTOR LADY IM GOING TO JILL YLY LANDO

user12: this is genuinely like the funniest shit ever 😭

user13: can’t believe in 10 years from now we’re going to look back at this and laugh

user14: 10 years?? bitch im LAUGHING RIGHT NOW

redbullracing; speedy recovery max! 💓

maxverstappen1: NOOOO NO SPEEDY RECOVERY NO RECOVERY FOR MAX

user15: head injury so bad he lost his love for racing

user16: on a serious note, his injury’s did seem pretty bad, especially his leg…

user17: honestly i’d be surprised if he returned to racing immediately

landonorris: maxie and me got separated :(((( 😞☹️😕😭🥺 lady doctor is is MEAN

yourusername: you two were arguing and disturbing the other patients.

maxverstappen1: DONT CALL MY LADY DOTCIT MEAN!!!!

user18: went from being worried to laughing out loud because wtf is this??

user27; lando and max crashing was NOT on my 2024 bingo card

user28: f1 having a big crash was not on MY 2024 bingo card

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, landonorris, 619,027 others!

redbullracing: unfortunately, due to last weeks crash regarding lando norris and max verstappen. max has been forced to take a three month leave of absence from racing, as he has severely fractured his lower leg. he has immediately started physical therapy, let’s wish him a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

view comments below!

maxverstappen1: what a shame 😕 truly saddened by this outcome 😞

user19: what??

landonorris: take a wild guess as to who’s going to be his doctor for three months?

user20: PRETTY LADY DOCTOR???

maxverstappen1: maybe 🥰

user21: we’ve entered the era where max does not gaf about racing as long as he gets to see yn

user22: does this mean he’s not winning the wdc?

user23: he still can, he just has to win basically every race after the 3 months, which isn’t exactly impossible for him

charles_leclerc; so sad for max!

user24: your ass does not feel sad for max 😭

user25: he has his eyes on the wdc!!!

user26: HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN BOW

maxverstappen1: @/yourusername, ready to take care of me for 3 months :D

yourusername: no

maxverstappen1: 😕

user27: HAHAHA

danielricciardo: LOSER

landonorris: HAHAH GET REJECTED

charles_leclerc: EMBARRASSING

oscarpiastri: that hurt to read

maxverstappen1: SHUT UP WHO ASKED YOU

user28: tbh i wouldn’t be excited to have max as a patient for 3 whole months with how he acted that night in the emergency room

user29: that man is secretly crazy and you can’t convince me otherwise

user30: i love how max is clearly like head over heels for yn, but she can’t date him because he’s her patient 😭

user31: she can’t?

user30: NO!!! that’s unethical, she can date him after the 3 months but not during

user32: that not being common knowledge to some people is concerning…

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 917,027 others!

maxverstappen1: day one of physical therapy a success ✅

view comments below!

landonorris: so, how many times did she reject you today?

maxverstappen1: ZERO.

yourusername: 10**

landonorris: TENN??????

maxverstappen1: i just don’t understand why she won’t say yes 😞

yourusername: because it’s severely unethical and will get me fired

maxverstappen1: so what i’m hearing is that you’ll go out with me when i’m no longer your patient?

user33: let the countdown begin

charles_leclerc: missed you at the race today!

maxverstappen1: no you didn’t

charles_leclerc: no i didn’t! MAX IT FEELS SO GOOD TOO WIN

maxverstappen1: yeah i KNOW.

yourusername: don’t worry charles, he was watching you during his whole therapy session, and cheered so loudly when you won that we got complains from patients on the other side of the building!

charles_leclerc: I KNEW IT!!!

maxverstappen1: you said you wouldn’t tell anyone yn 😕

user34: it’s so…unsettling seeing max be so publicly affectionate

user35: RIGHT?? like why is he so open about this??

user36: he has no shame…

yourusername: i told you to stop taking pictures of me while i’m working

maxverstappen1: but you just look sooooo pretty

danielricciardo: she doesn’t want you bro

maxverstappen1: SHUT UP

user37: she’s stronger then me, because if i had max verstappen down bad like that?

user38: no literally, i would’ve made him mine the same day we met

user39: why is max posting regular pictures?? it’s weird

user40: he’s trying to impress yn

user39: well he’s going about it all wrong. because these photos just don’t match?? cat, hospital, and then a crappy photo of a therapy room?? horrible horrible HORRIBLE

user41: damn…

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 619,017 others!

maxverstappen1: 2 months down…1 more to go!

view comments below!

user42: HE IS COUNTING DOWN

user43: WE KNEW IT!!!

landonorris: i can’t belive you tricked me into going to a photo shoot for you

maxverstappen1: that is not what happened.

landonorris: you told me we were going golfing, next thing i know i’m watching you get your picture taken like 92884 times 😑

maxverstappen1: just say your jealous

landonorris: OF WHAT???

user44: he’s getting better at being aesthetic

user45: he’s learning!!

user46: are we all going to skip past the fact that max, a hater of everything, had a whole as photo shoot for his instagram?????

maxverstappen1: yn told me i should post more photos of myself for the instagram

user47: so you had a whole photo shoot????

maxverstappen1: yes

user48: oh he’s in love

danielricciardo: looking good max 😍

maxverstappen1; thank you for the support daniel!

landonorris: was that a dig to me?

maxverstappen1: yes.

landonorris: I WAS EXPECTING GOLF

yourusername: looking good max

maxverstappen1: really??? you really think so??

yourusername: yes (with the upmost professionalism)

maxverstappen1: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

user49: why did max just add “yn thinks i look good 🥰” to his bio

user50: LMAOO I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING???

user49: no 😭 he very literally put “yn thinks i look good 🥰” in his bio

user51: why does it look like max is in the doctor training room?

maxverstappen1: because i am!!

user51: THEY LET YOU IN THERE????

yourusername: my boss is a huge f1 fan. so he lets max do whatever he wants 🙄

user51: i’m sorry that’s so funny 😭

user52: does max just follow her around all day??

yourusername: pretty much, yeah

user53: you have no idea how much i want to be you

charles_leclerc: wow max looking good

maxverstappen1: thank you charles

charles_leclerc: aren’t you going to put “charles thinks i look good” in your bio?

maxverstappen1: i don’t care about you enough for that

user54: DAMN THATS COLD

user55: those cats are so cute 🥺

. . .

. . .

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 914,078 others!

maxverstappen1: guys i did!!!! i got a date with the pretty doctor lady 🥰🥰

view comments below!

user56: when he falls first and harder >>

user57; this man is literally obsessed with yn it’s insane

landonorris: beat me too it

landonorris: THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT KILL ME

maxverstappen1: nothing funny. i didn’t laugh. you aren’t funny.

landonorris: 😕

user58: WE CHEERED!!!

user59: i still think it would be funny if she just said no even after the 3 months

yourusername; i thought about it, but he’s rich and pretty so 🤷‍♀️

maxverstappen1: pretty :D

user60: she’s so pretty

maxverstappen1: like i’ve been SAYING.

user61: i’ve never seen a man so down bad before

user62: it’s unnerving

user63: a doctor, pretty, and funny?? max hit the jackpot

user64: they both hit the jackpot 😒 it pisses me off

user65: LMAO WHY??

user64: seeing people live the life i want makes me unexplainably mad

danielricciardo: you’re joking right? she’s not actually dating you?

maxverstappen1: what’s that supposed to mean

danielricciardo: it means she’s too good for you @/yourusername are you being held hostage

yourusername; yes

danielricciardo: OH I KNEW IT. DONT WORRY HELP IS ON THE WAY

maxverstappen1: you guys are mean.

yourusername: this means i can never be your doctor again

maxverstappen1: what if once day, on my way home i crash, and its a big crash with smoke and fire, and i get taken to the hospital but i refuse to let anyone touch me that isn’t you, would you still not help me?

yourusername: there’s just something so undiagnosed about you

user65: HAHAHA

user66: max is just so unexplainable

charles_leclerc: are my eyes deceiving me or did she finally say yes 

maxverstappen1: SHE SAID YES

charles_leclerc: OH YEAH OH YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BUDDY

maxverstappen1: OH YEAH OH YEAH

user67: my lestappen heart 💔

. . .

notes: enjoy this while i spend the rest of my night learning how to play the sims

thank you for requesting!!

[yoshirage]

Body swap diaries: PETER’s CYOC

After months of training and studying, I stood there proudly with fellow agents and superiors in the lower levels of Area 51 awaiting for my first mission as a full fledge secret service agent. It was a grueling time to the point that out of 50 candidates, only 3 of us actually made it.

We hear a gruff raspy voice from the intercom. “Welcome new agents and congratulations. You all are now officially part of the secret service which; as you all know, deals with more covert missions regarding this country. So please meet up with your superiors to discuss your first mission.”

All of the agents dispersed and so did I, and made it to Mr. Carlson’s office. I open the door and see a half naked man with curly hair frantically trying to put his clothes on.

“Ahh dammit looks like i forgot to close that damn door again. Lock it for me will you Peter.” I locked the door behind and sat at one of the office chairs trying not to look and stare at my supervisor’s body. “Hahaha come on now Peter, don’t be so shy. This isn’t the first you’ve seen me in another body.” He was right, but the usual bodies he’s in are the bigger hairy daddy types.

“So i guess you took my advice huh”

“ yeah. Went with someone younger and chose this guy named Jon to take for my time off. Gotta say its a different feeling.” He flexes his arms.

“You look great sir”

“Hahaha thanks Peter. Now since you were the highest achieving agent we have, i decided to assign you as a personal guard for a past president. As may know, any two term US president that finishes their service gets assigned a lifetime agent to help with safety and security, and they are also enrolled with the ‘reincarnation program’ which…

“Gives the ex president and their partner, a choice to have their consciousness transferred to another person’s body.”

“Very good Peter!” He claps his hands “now of course they can opt out of it if they choose to, but we at least wanna give them a taste of it and see if its for them.”

“Isnt it too early for Mr Obama to be in this program?”

“Yes you’re right which is why I’m assigning you to George W bush.”

“Wait isnt there someone already assigned to Mr. Bush?”

“There was, but we are reassigning Gary to a much more… lets just covert mission.” I just nod my head knowing exactly what he means.

“Now Mr Bush has been living in his current body Bruno for almost a year in Brazil.”

“How about the real Bruno.”

“He’s living life as Mr. Bush. We programmed him to practically BE George Bush… memories and all” i nod my head. “ now Mr Bush has been alerted of the change in staff but I would like you to travel to Brazil and introduce yourself”

“No problem sir. Will do”

“I also gave the guys at the lab the Ok to swap you with someone else for this mission, of course you don’t have to.”

I thought about it for a short while and decided to swap. “ Thank you sir. I will go right now.”

“Sounds good. Here is a catalog of the guys that are available.”

I look over it and saw Jon’s body with the amount of $10,000 right by his name. “Damn! I cant believe this kid is getting paid $10,000 to swap bodies with an agent” i thought to myself.

“now if you’ll excuse me. I think its officially time for me to start my Time off.”

“Have fun sir and Ill see you when you get back.”

I leave his office and made my way towards the all the while looking at the catalog.

“Hey Peter!” I waved at Vinh “ Mr Carlson told me all about your mission. So have you thought about which body you want.”

I looked over the catalog one last time…. “This one” I said

(Which of these guys should Peter switch with. From top to bottom: Joey, Christian, Larry, Leon).

[daffodilfool]

Re: Music and Intelligence

Before I start there's a couple things I need to get out of the way.

First off, this is a "follow up" of sorts to an old tumblr post of mine which you can find here. Feel free to read it if you're interested, just know that I wrote it on a whim without really doing any research. Since writing the post I decided to write a paper on the subject for school, and I now know a lot more about the subject than I did back then.

I am also still by no means a professional biologist, nor an expert in any of the stuff I'll be talking about. I am a biology student, an artist, and an autist extraordinaire writing a post on tumblr. Take everything I say with a grain of salt if not two.

With that said,

I. What is Music?

That's a good fucking question, and if I'm going to be completely honest, we don't fucking know. It may seem obvious but the fact is whatever you think is the answer, someone else will disagree with you. What is and what isn't music is entirely subjective, and what you may think is music, someone else might just hear noise, and vice versa. But it's still a question we need to answer in order to continue, after all you cant find something when you don't know what you're looking for.

To spare you the boring part, for the purposes of this discussion music will be defined as an abstract form of verbal and / or instrumental communication based around the use of one or more "musical qualities" such as rhythm, melody, tone colour and pitch.

This definition is the result of a lot of discussions between me, my supervisors, my friends and my family, and is based in various scientific bases such as mathematics, history and neurology, as well as common consensus. But I won't bore you with the details.

II. How is Music?

Unless you are famed composer Ludwig van Beethoven, you might have noticed that when you listen to music, you tend to do so with your ears. Your ears are however not the part of you that process the music, the ears simply turn sound waves into electrical signals through a series of bones that groove it silly style to compress a liquid that tickles some incredibly sensitive hairs that send out electrical impulses in response. Got that? No? Doesn't matter. What's important is the ear converts sound waves into electrical signals that the brain is capable of processing.

So how does the brain process music? Well for most sounds it's more or less fairly straight forwards; as the electrical impulses from the ear reach the brain, the temporal lobe (located just behind the temples) snatches up that signal and compares that signal with your memories in the hippocampus (the memory center, located inside the temporal lobe) in order to deduce what you heard, as well as comparing signals with the opposite temporal lobe to deduce where the sound came from. If the temporal lobe recognises a sound as being speech, that info is sent to the frontal lobe for processing and back again.

Music, however, is not so simple. While the first pass is similar to processing speech, by the time the signal has reached the frontal lobe the temporal lobe has begun sending out signals about the musical qualities to most other parts of the brain as well. Most notably the amygdala (responsible for emotion) and the parietal lobe (responsible for processing touch, spacial awareness and the somatosensory system) are sent into overdrive in order to process the emotional and rhythmic aspects of music and processing them as your own, hence why listening to music has such a strong emotional and sensory effect.

The brain is complex, and truthfully we don't know exactly how it works. After all, "If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't." But what we do know is that processing music is no simple task, in fact it is incredibly energy intensive, seemingly wasting resources in an already incredibly power hungry organ.

So of course that begs the question:

III-a. Why is Music?

This is where it gets a little more speculative. Truth is we don't know, and we likely never will. Unfortunately I can't give you a 100% true "this is how it happened" set in stone answer, but what I CAN give you is my best educated guess, and let you think about it in the mean time.

I've read dozens of papers on the origins of music and the origins of intelligence, but not a single one of them mention what, to me, seems like an obvious link between the two, aside from the occasional conclusion that music is an evolutionary hiccup and a side effect of intelligence. But I'd argue that not only is music not an evolutionary hiccup, but rather an integral part in the development of intelligence.

Music undeniably influences the brain in a massive way, but the exact amount is highly debated. Some are thoroughly convinced that music has the power to make people more intelligent, others believe music has no more influence over the brain than any other sound. There are plenty studies supporting both stances and an equal amount contradicting them. So where do I stand?

Intelligence is not one monolithic concept, but rather a series of cognitive skills that interact and interface with each other and the world around us. Problem solving, logic, emotional intelligence, spacial intelligence, linguistics, and creativity, to name a few, are all kinds of intelligence, all of which can be trained. While music isn't some magical spell capable of just cranking up these cognitive skills, it does serve as an effective medium through which one can easily train several of these skills all at once, by virtue of engaging the entire brain, ESPECIALLY (but not exclusively) in the context of learning an instrument.

Learning an instrument is difficult and a large reason as to why is exactly because it engages so many aspects of the brain. Playing an instrument requires spacial awareness to know where to play, it requires problem solving to know how to play, it requires emotional intelligence to know what to play. It engages nearly every aspect of intelligence, and the ability to train all these facets simultaneously allows them to build off each other, paired with the fact that you're already training several skills in the same time as you would train one, comes together to form an intelligence greater than the sum of learning each skill individually.

III-b. Why Music?

The observant among you may have noticed that I've been talking a lot about "intelligence" in that last section, but I never bothered to define it, why is that? Simply put, I can't, I don't think it's possible. Intelligence is such a vast nebulous concept that no one definition of it would be just or even somewhat accurate, but going forwards I'll be talking about sapience specifically, often defined as the ability to feel and understand emotions as well as the ability to do complex problem solving. Good? Good.

Humans are the only sapient species on earth, that we know of for sure, at least. That isn't to say there aren't other potential candidates for sapience, because there absolutely are animals straddling the line of what we would consider sapient. So what animals are the most likely to be sapient? Well it's commonly agreed upon that us, chimps, elephants, cetaceans, corvids, parrots, and octopi make that list, but what you may notice is that besides our shared intelligence, we actually have very little in common otherwise: body shape, phyla, behavior, diets, environments, etc.

But the one thing that we all have in common besides our intelligence, also just happens to be a trait only observed in this seemingly random selection of animals: the ability to understand music. If music were an evolutionary hiccup, a mere coincidence in our development, surely it would not be a trait shared only by sapient animals, nearly all of which evolved their sapience separately.

So why do music and sapience seem to be mutually inclusive? Well, what is "intelligence" really if not the ability to take in and replicate knowledge? The more efficiently you are able to communicate a concept, and the more efficiently you're able to store and apply said concept, the more intelligent you are. It just happens that art is the most information dense form of communication, and music happens to be one that nearly everyone is capable of creating using no outside tools whatsoever.

Music is a universal language, one so deeply ingrained within us that it overpowers even the spoken language of modern day. Though it may have started as simple monotone calls to simply alert your next of kin of your presence, a la cicadas, the ability to parse that information efficiently would clear up more space to communicate more complex ideas, and over the span of hundreds of thousands of years, if not millions, those simple calls began communicating progressively more complex ideas, until eventually you would end up with what we now today know as full blown music. Remember what I said earlier about music being an effective learning medium? Yeah, imagine that except over the span of eons.

That, I believe, is why music is.

[tinybed]

im just going to vent post real quick because this bothers me and i just want to talk about it ok -_- this week at work i did everything i could but i’ve been feeling so mentally and emotionally drained, and physically very very drained, literally lifeless and in pain Lol. my forearms are stiff and creaky, my wrists and my fingers hurt, and my lower legs and feet hurt. it was extremely busy on sunday and monday wasnt too much better. so its been a hard week for me, on tuesday i went home and just cried a lot. and its really embarrassing because i wish i didnt feel this way and i was doing really good, but i guess my stamina is still adjusting and i had worked rly hard the past 3 weeks, so now im just kind of dealing with the effects of pushing it too far i guess. anyways yesterday one of the supervisors i rarely work with asked if i wanted to go on bar and i said yeah and he said it would be good for me to practice, and that made me feel shitty lol because i havent been practicing for a while now. i’ve been flexing between different stations and making all the drinks pretty fast, running around and being super attentive to every detail for the most part, and basically just doing everything everyone asks of me. and then later i told him im not rly practicing anymore, and he said i just need to get faster…. and that bothered me so much that i actually went upstairs and cried for a second that i had downtime :-/ it was just so discouraging, like i’ve been trying so hard and pushing myself to the limit in every way and now im burnt out emotionally and physically less mobile and i have to hear someone tell me i need to get faster despite that being the only time they have worked with me on bar? i told him my arms hurt and a co worker kinda made a joke about how lifting milk jugs is a work out for her, which eased the awkwardness a bit but clearly im still upset about it lol.

im going to keep trying and pushing forward but im worried because the amount of people we had on sunday + monday was so beyond what i feel capable of handling, and it kinda makes me feel like i suck honestly. i just worry about my future and what im going to do. i dont want to be a weak person or buckle under pressure, but im getting more and more stressed out seeing how my body cant keep up with what im doing. i’ve noticed my ability to listen and concentrate is deteriorating, i keep forgetting things. i was doing so well that i didnt even think to mention it, i was just happy with how i was progressing and proud of myself, so my confidence isnt very high now and i feel scared of what my future holds if im having this much of an issue doing something that most people would consider something anyone can do :-(

[sneakyspades]

ok yknow what im just gonna straight up vent about work rn bc i ran out of tags on the other post

its become such a fucking shitshow down there jesus christ i cannot fucking stand it anymore. communication doesnt exist, i dont even remember the last time back of house had a fucking meeting. the owner pushed for us to stay open during a blizzard where it was a wind chill of -40. i mean holy fuck, the city said dont travel unless its an emergency

i had issues on sunday that i wasnt sure about, but our chef was out of town doing a show with his band, and our sous chef was sitting at the bar in the restaurant a good 5 or 6 beers deep by the time i ran into this problem. i asked the other supervisor (who agrees with me that this is a shitshow) and he wasnt sure either so we straight up guessed

i only make 15 an hour despite having been there for a whole fucking year, because i only get supervisor pay when im clocked in as supervisor. which is a measly 8 of my 40 hours. but god forbid i dont act like a supervisor for all 40 hours

insurance is unsustainably expensive there. my coworker who makes 13.50 an hour takes home *more than i do per paycheck* at this point. and he works 32 hours! i havent taken home more than 750 a pay check since getting insurance! i used to be grossing 1000! IM LITERALLY PAYING 175 DOLLARS EVERY PAY CHECK! AND THATS ABOUT TO GO UP TO ALMOST 180 WHEN I TURN 27! im not making any fucking money! im not getting any savings!

not to mention they fucked up my insurance not that long ago! i was told at the doctors office and the pharmacy that i had zero coverage! but they were still taking money from my fucking paycheck for it! like holy fuck i shouldve talked to goddamn lawyer about that instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt!

i was 110% fine with making 15 an hour and doing nothing but pizzas. because the trade off was that i could cut out early, i could trade shifts, if i got sick it wasnt fucking everyone else over. but now i cant do any of that. i have to close on saturdays, dont get home and in bed until 1:30 some nights, and then have to get up and go do a 10 hour shift every sunday. every weekend! every fucking weekend! and im the only one that does that anymore! im not the only one doing a double on sunday, but im the only one who has to close the night before. and because im just exhausted by the end of a sunday, my mondays are practically wasted because im catching up on sleep!

i like. cant fucking do this anymore. i cant think of any reason why im still there. i could go worl at fucking sams club in the bakery, start at the same wage (if not more), have *less* responsibilities, be doing something i want to do, and they close at 8 every day. i dont think theyre even open on sundays!

why am i still working there? its not sustainable for me anymore. my body is fucked. its falling apart ahead of schedule. i cant even open my door in the morning because of carpal tunnel. im 26 and when i crouch down i cant always get back up. the other night my ankle just started popping every time i turned around. what am i doing? what am i doing. i dont know.

i dont even have energy left over to draw. or make stained glass. or even do a discord call. the last time i had an actual date with my partner was, what, like 4 fucking months ago? i dont have any energy left over. im using it all for a place that i dont enjoy working at anymore, and i know i wont get better hours. our sous chef has been here since the place opened and he only has night shifts. the only day he doesnt is sunday. which is 8am to 3pm.

our new hire has sunday-monday off. why cant i have that? i want a weekend day off. its not gonna happen in this industry. its not gonna happen in this kitchen. i cant do this for the next however many years,

[ouroboobos]

i need a new fucking job lmfao. ITEMIZED LIST OF GRIEVANCES AS OF RIGHT NOW

its customer service

i make less as a manager than the starting wage at mcdonalds

theres at least two grown men with sexual harrassment complaints against them because they cant stop hitting on teenage girls

the two guys got in zero trouble and continue to be treated like perfect hardware store angels

one of them gave me a rose on valentines day and kept trying to give me rides

theres a completely seperate third man in his 60s who continually makes comments about my body and touches me and tried to give me a massage in the break room one time

everyone loves him and hes been working here for like 8 years so even if it got bad enough to report him theres no way my boss would give a shit and no one would ever believe me and im worried abt retaliation

i havent told him to fuck off because im scaredcore so idk if he even knows hes making me uncomfortable

i get routinely sexually harrassed by customers and when i asked my boss abt how to handle it he basically said other girls have quit over it and "the real problem is when they dont call a manager up" so he definitely does not udnerstand what its actually like to deal with that and that its usually too subtle to do anything abt it

since i got promoted i almost never get my 10 minute breaks which maybe doesnt seem like a big deal but it is wearing me the fuck out

im surrounded by proud vocal conservatives

EXCEPT for my boss who is one of those people who doesnt think hes a bigot (hes very proud of being one of the chill open-minded Christians) but definitely is

also i couldnt make this up even if i wanted to, but hes 36 years old and a cpuple days ago he made me stand there and listen to him rant about hes not homophobic but why did they make Good Omens gay not everything has to be gay 😡😡😡 hes 36. hes fucking 36

we're almost always understaffed and they dont want to pay anyone so they dont start hiring more people until we're already in our busiest season and then we have to train a bunch of 15 year olds between dealing with 36 billion kajillion fucking customers

truly abysmal fucking communication. i didnt even know i was getting promoted to management until i was in the middle of supervisor training (which they never bothered to finish so i got like... tiny disjointed snippets of training over a period of a few weeks and then i was a manager)

i was functionally head cashier for months and they never gave me the title or the raise because i was "being trained for the position" when actually they allotted less than a day of training from the FORMER head cashier on her last day even though they knew she was retiring for months and then i just figured it out by myself and was already doing all of it

im finally going back to school and next semester when im better settled i want to transition to full time classes, so i met with my boss to give him a heads up and told him i wanted to start training a couple people on some of my basic responsibilities in case i have to cut down my hours, and he basically brushed me off and said we can talk about it in a few months.

and then he talked about his time in college for like twenty minutes and said i shouldnt overwhelm myself by working full time and going to school full time, which made it seem like he was on the same page

but then he kind of was like "well its good you want to get an education but if you go part time in the spring that kind of screws us over" so im not really sure what the fuck is happening in his brain but it almost sounds like he expects me to stay part time in school and keep working full time and doesnt want to prepare for anything else

also he didnt tell me i inherited the key department in addition to the front end until i was like hey whos ordering keys now? and he was like ummmm you? 🤨 ok thanks for the heads up man

its one of those places that looks pretty nice but theres like 20 things breaking throughout the store that theyre too cheap to fix

^recent example: the receipt printers arent working for duplicates (which we need for returns, special orders, etc) so now you to walk across the room to the actual printer and they dont want to fix it because "the printer paper is cheaper than the receipt paper". im not even that irritated about having to use the big printer but that is so fucking cheap for such a massive successful company that now im genuinely pissed off about it.

my boss is one of those guys who seems super nice and friendly and great at first, and pretty much everyone thinks he is, but the more time you spend with him the more you're like. hey buddy is something a little bit fucking wrong with you? and every day i resent him just a tiny bit more

they want us to follow homeless people around the store like fucking spies until we find an excuse to kick them out

theres a guy that comes in every now and again and harrasses female cashiers, walks around casually dropping hate speech, and once literally told one of our teenage boys about his rape fantasy and they wont do anything about him because he's rich and he spends a lot of money

we all have like 4 jobs with barely the pay of 1

i hates it

[thoughtsbeewild]

This is exactly why i don't want to hear anything from the other side, but fuck I did. Woke celebrity paid rapper PLIES is on a hateful rant on X preaching why we shouldn't question queen Kamala running for president, guess what throws the race card, but i aint voting for white man..always throwing identity politic card BS

Goes on video in ghetto hood slang, dont be asking a black woman son about why she running for president. Motherfuckers I aint trying vote for a white man..

my question to him is WTF NATIONALITY IS JOE BIDEN OR QUEEN KAMALA RUNNING MATE MR. TAMPON TIMMY IS ..WHITE AS HELL.. what about our other former presidents, white as hell too.

I HATE THAT FROM THE DEMONCRATS, I HAD TO WORK FOR A LEADER WHO WE DARE QUESTION THIS QUEEN DIRECTOR AND HER PUPPET FRIEND SUPERVISOR WHO BEEN WITH THE COMPANY FOR 6 MONTHS ALL HELL WITH UNLEASH..I FUCKING HATE IT. IT IS FUCKING ABSOLUTE TORTURE TO RISE UP MORE LEADERS WHO WE DARE CANT QUESTION. MY COOL MANAGER WAS SO HAPPY I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF AND RESIGN, MGR EVEN SAID I CANT BELIEVE THEY DO ALL THIS BULLSHIT TO YOU, I CRIED ALOT, BUT I KNEW I HAD WIPE MY TEARS AND FACE A NEW DAY AND HAVE COURAGE FIND SOMETHING NEW..I DONT WANT MORE OF THAT SHIT, THAT IS WHAT NOW BLACK KAMALA THE DEMONCRATS WILL HIRE FROM STATE TO STATE WHERE ALL AMERICANS WILL SUFFER MISERABLELY, STRESSFULLY UNTIL YOU EXPLODE, YOULL MORE LIKELY QUIT AND DEMOTE YOURSELF TO LOWER PAYING JOB/ROLE TITLE FROM DICTATORSHIP LEADERSHIP WITHIN YOUR EMPLOYER, COMPANY, COWOKERS FROM DEPT TO DEPT, JUST NOTHING BUT TOXIC LIARS WHO GET PROMOTED GET AWAY WITH SHIT, DONT HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER, WHILE YOU ROTT IN HELL...

I FUCKING HATE THAT THIS NEW LEADERSHIP LANDLORDS WHO OWN, LEASE, HOMES, APT RENTERS, TENANTS CANT QUESTION THE AUTHORITY OF WHAT THEY DO..THEY IMPLEMENT ALOT SHITTY THINGS TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO FIND A HOME/APT/STUDIO SPACE TO GET BY..

GOING BACK TO THE NBJ FROM ORANGE MAN, WHERE THE BLACK GHETTO WOMAN SAID YOU DARE QUESTION OBAMA IS A HELL NO FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY..

WHY THE FUCK IS THE RAPPER PLIES MARKETING THAT TO HIS FOLLOWERS? DONALD TRUMP IS THE KKK, WHITE SUPREMACIST, AND THE FACT WE ALL DARE QUESTION QUEEN KAMALA. TO ME, THIS GUY IS BOWING THE FUCK DOWN, KISSING HIS KNEES TO MONEY, POWER, FAME AND TO KEEP HIS SELFISH LIFESTYLE EVEN MEANS BASHING LIES TO DONALD TRUMP. FACT HE GETTING PAID A PAYCHECK TO MAKE THAT VIDEO..

i found some comments i liked what they said about the orange man, i totally agree.. THAT IS WHY HE EARNING THE RESPECT FROM PEOPLE IN AMERICA AND ACROSS THE GLOBE. THE DIFFERENCE IS EARNED NOT JUST GIVEN EASILY.

AS OPPOSED TO THE CHANGE OF NATIONALITY KAMALA WHO HAS TO PAY HER WOKE CELEBRITY INFLUENCERS TO SPREAD HATEFUL SHIT, PROMOTE RACISM AND DIVISION AMONGST EACHOTHER. MAN I HOPE ORANGE MAN WINS..HE NEEDS A MIRACE, BECAUSE MORE SHIT SHOULD BE COMING HIS WAY , I FEEL IT...LIKE A BOOM..

orange is always going crazy like the new twitter replacement..lol

at least people are noticing and saying positive things about you..good win

[indigo474]

sick and bored and other stuff- May 21

i'm still sick. I can't run because I can't breath-not a fun spot to be in. I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow. For the first time ever I didn't finish my squats- I did 6 instead of 8- had I taken off my shoes and put on a belt I would have been able to complete my sets. maybe that is why I wasn't upset- I know i'll get it next time and plus I don't feel 100% myself- I asked JAmes to remind me to put on a belt next time. I am incredibly bored with life at the moment. probably because I'm unable to run. any problem I may have is because I cant run at the moment. i'm sleeping well although I keep dreaming about x- so strange to me.. uneasy dream feeling. I can't remember what my dreams are about just that he is in them and an uneasy feeling. dreams of Chatham and Christmas- my brain is still trying to process whatever that was that I went through- that life. there is nothing I can do about it but be ok with whatever my brain needs to do to be ok. I went to church on Saturday. my aunt asked me to go and I said yes but immediately regretted saying yes.. not immediately, but as the day got closer I regretted saying yes.. people make me nervous- i'm not sure why because once I get to where i'm going I am fine- it's just getting there and the anxiety I feel that sucks. it was so odd being in that church- I grew up going there with my grandparents. It seemed brighter to me- like they got new light bulbs- it was a good experience and I was glad I went . My aunt goes to Sunday morning church but I did tell her if she ever wants to go to Saturday evening mass to let me know because I would go with her. I am so over my boss's boss being an alcoholic. she was drinking on Friday and came up with a bunch of new stuff for us supervisors to do.. no clear direction - figure it out. I hate that. I shouldn't have to guess as to what I am supposed to do. it happens all the time and I know its not just me because no one knows what she is asking us to do. I want to do my job and I want to do a good job but I need a clear understanding as to what is being asked of me- I talked to my boss about it and she agrees and she is good at stepping in and getting clarity not just for me but for all the supervisors- it's just a messed up place to work- the dysfunction starts at the top. I signed up to help build a house. its local and a good cause and God knows I need to find something to do that makes me feel like I am making some sort of a difference in this world- it's a start..

[scrmngtts]

i should be happy i had a successful week at my new job..

hey why dont we list good things that happened this week. dont just focus on the negative ones.

lets see.. monday i had my first meeting on my new job! met the whole team. theyre really big theres 20+ peeps in the dept im in and the company is big. i hope i get to stay here longer than my previous one. also, i hope i can handle the workload and the stress. but i made up my mind, no matter how hard this job is i will try my best. they will not catch me slacking.

tuesday: i went to the gym in the morning then i wanted to get presents for my friends but i couldnt find the one im looking for so i just went home. i went to the movies at night with my friends after!! i finally see the movie i wanted to see. im glad i went with my friends.

wednesday: hump day!! i have sent my first work for reviews!! and i got humbled really quick they gave me so much notes! but nothing i cant do. im a very good animator and i know i can troubleshoot anything!!

thursday: i went to the doctors with my dad, im glad everything is good from his test. im really thankful about the results.

friday: finally finished my work. my supervisor said theres some minor tweaks but that can be fixed in production stages so im happy im able to go to the weekend not thinking of anything i need to submit.

thats all! i hope to come back here and be happy when iread this again. i have such an amazing and great life. and im so thankful to be alive!

[moodytoots]

you know im really proud of myself bc ive made a huge stride from last week to this

i have a hard time calling out coworkers on their bs bc ya know im no one's boss, but when your job, or lack of attention to, affects my workload... maan...

and my go to is to get rageful like back in my kitchen days id have rage crying fits all while throwing pizzas in the oven.

and like she really does deserve someone to go off on her ass, but i guess the whole time i k ew what the response to that would be? so i took a different approach last week than my supervisor did a month or so ago (like as far as coworkers go i like her strictly as a coworker we have fun times sometimes but she literally tries to just collect a check...) but she also has a temper as bad as mine except she outwardly shows it more particularly in the form of the silent treatment

and initially i wasn't going to say anything but she texted me abt an issue and the uhhh good part? of my brain said "i kmow what to do" and being we were texting i was like she cant refute or lie if i have physical evidence so i gave her some professional and politer responses than i liked and approved them thru admin (which the bigger part of this issue is really their lack of doing anything but my supervisor didnt start communicating abt her until this year so but like they're aware of her now

and like????

it worked???? being calm and reasonable and professional worked?

idk it was just a lot of growth for me bc I have a hard time w this stuff.

[cruzctrl]

So, i've been gone for quite sometime. And alot has happened, it being me becoming director of respiratory at my facility, hating every minute of it, stepping down after 5 months, and picking up a full time job at a former facility. There were quite a few things that made me step down- actually alot of things:

1. Short staffing

The issue with short staffing and trying to approve peoples vacation times was a nightmare. I catered to these people thinking yeah its gonna be fine. Ill figure something out. Then when i get call ins, no one is willing to work. Im not about to run 20 hours working at this place when 8 hours is already dreadful. And guess what, i still did it. I tried. But the consistency of how bad no one wanted to work was more than enough of a problem for me to step down. And i low key hated people to begin with and it didnt make the job any easier.

2. Supply shortage

This was probably the worst one. Id do my daily tuesday routines of ordering supplies, and yet i seem to never get the main supplies i need. Trachs. Bacteria filters for suction machines. Pulse oximeter probes and cables. And its out of my control. I get it. Ever since covid cane around it hasnt been any easier for anyone. But again, being blamed for something i cant control was already daunting and i hated

3. Inheriting a staff i've worked with for 7 years

It sucked. They know my work ethic. And they see me as one of them. Not as a supervisor. Only when they need my signature to sign off on their overtime. Or their vacations. Or their bullshit sick days. And when i needed the help only a few were able to pull through. The fact that im somewhat salty about this whole situation makes me think: what could i have done differently? Why dont they look at me as someone who can take over a department? But then again. It is what it is. The lack of respect was already more than enough for me to leave. Aside from that, another guy who didnt even work more than 8 days a month became the director and they seem to give him more respect than me. But, like i said i could of done things differently, but i wouldnt know what to do anyways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. Taking work home

This was one thing i told myself- never take work home. Thats what i did. I took work home. I think about when the next time im gonna have to come in to cover a shift, why no one responds to my group me texts, or whatever shit that i needed to come in for. The stress and anxiety of coming home really fucked up my sleep. So bad to the point where id stay up super late just to enjoy what little time i had to myself. Thats bad on my part and probably affected me to the point where i dreaded work.

BUT

Ill admit, i low key miss goin to work whenever i want, but i dont miss goin to work when i shouldnt even be there. The amount of stress that has been lifted from my shoulders is so nice, i forgot how it was to just go to work, get things done, and leave with no worry about anything more or less. Im pretty content with what happened, how i did, and i appreciate the few support of people who really had my back. Funny thing is, they didnt even decrease my pay rate, so although i stepped down as director, im still getting director pay! I guess if theres a way to cheat the system, that was definitely it.

So, in hindsight, Im on call / per diem at my old facility, and got hired as full time at.. another old facility. BUT my pay has definitely increased in both places. Ever since i left, everything has looked alot brighter. i bought a new car, im back to working noc shift again, im happier as a whole, and i just think everything that ive dealt with was a lesson and that not all things at the top is so mint. The new guys i met at work seem pretty chill, and we have a few hobbies that we have in common so it was really easy to get a long with them. Plus i think this whole subacute dept as a whole is just good for myself and patient care. Its really nice to be able to go back to work and feel like im making a difference with what i do. I couldnt help but feel useless as a director. I guess one of the perks is the amount of overtime im gettin here, it is so absurd that im probably gonna be making more than my other places i worked at. Anyways, im happy and thats all that really matters. Ill probably post some pics of my new whip soon, just gotta find the time to take some decent pics. Hope you guys have been well, and this was just me ranting.

[flintbian]

Well, I just resigned from my job. I have to for my health, and when I talked with my boss she admitted the conditions were terrible and they made a lot of mistakes and nothing was okay. It went as well as it could've, and now I'm going to finish up my projects over the next week and focus on my health. It's going to be a tough road with the degree of muscle atrophy I've had 😅

[moonsmemories]

If work keeps not putting me on the schedule one more week I will flip :))))) Ive spent the last 2 months begging to work I’m so done :))))))))

[thoughtsbeewild]

Question: Why didn't the company fire that evil female snake director earlier? Cant believe it took the company this long to fire her.

I was looking at her work history profile at the site.

If this wasnt company red flag:

She started as a specialist one year, then promoted year after year. Till the director. But each director position held for prior companies the duration was only 8 months to a year. Why is that? There is a reason why the director has held this position for more than 5 years. So she lasted with this company for 1 year few months minus the FMLA leave of absence which in her case taking SHAMELESS SELFIES ONLINE, POSTING QUOTES THIS COMEBACK IS PERSONAL. COMEBACK IS THAT YOUR FIREDD BITCH!!!

HOW MANY PEOPLE I SPOKE TO SO THRILLED ABOUT IT?

REAL TIME REPONSES:

ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME

KARMA IS A BITCH ISNT IT

YOU GET WHAT YOU DERSERVE

A JUMP FOR YES, AS A TOUCHDOWN ON A FOOTBALL OR BASKETBALL TEAM

BITCH IS FINALLY GONE

CANT WAIT TILL HER BEST FRIEND SUPERVISOR IS FIRED AND TERMINATED

WAS SHE INVESTIGATED? HOPE THEY FOUND ALOT SHADY SHIT SHE WAS DOING BEHIND PEOPLE BACK. THE POWER/TITLE OF ABUSE OF HER DIRECTOR ROLE

MY THING ..WHEN SHE WAS ON LEAVE ON ABSENCE, NEXT STEP IN TITLE WILL HAVE ACCESS TO ALL YOUR EMAILS AND PRESIDENTS WILL HAVE MORE ACCESS TO MORE THINGS. DID THEY FIND SHADY DOCUMENTATION SHE WAS DOING GETTING PEOPLE FIRED, GETTING PEOPLE TO QUIT? DID THE COMPANY FIND THAT SHE WAS HELPING HER BITTER FRIENDS TO GET PEOPLE THEY DIDNT LIKE CANT STAND (IM ONE OF THEM) FIRED OR MAKE THEM RESIGN?

BAD APPLES DO EXIST ON THIS EARTH. WHETHER YOU HAVE NOT ENGAGED IN IT OR BEEN ENVIRONMENT OR YOUR STUCK INSIDE YOUR BOX OF COMFORT TO KNOW THIS. WELL IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE LIFE, THIS IS WHAT REAL LIFE IS. A BUNCH OF BITCHES WHO GET PROMOTED ABUSES THIER POWER TITLE TO FEAR EMPLOYEES, MANAGERS(MANAGERS FAMILIES AND THIER KIDS), SOME GOOD SUPERVISORS NOT ALL TO TERMINATE OR FORCE ABSOLUTE MISERY TO ONES THEY DONT LIKE. THEY WILL TWIST SHIT IN AN EMAIL AS IF YOU SAID IT, AND HEY I TOLD YOU THREE TIMES. THREE TIMES IS CONSIDERED A 3 TIME REPLY IN 3 HOURS. SHE WOULD TRY WRITE YOU UP FOR INSUBORDIANCE OF DEFYING THE LEADER AND HER EVIL SUPERVISOR, WITH THE SUPERVISOR FAMILY FRIENDS, AND RECRUITING ON BOARD DIRECTORS FRIENDS WHO ARE ON HER FACEBOOK, THATS HOW I KNOW. THE PORTAL OF SOCIAL MEDIA GET YOU ANSWERS.

IT TOOK THE COMPANY SO LONG BECAUSE I BET THE REVENUE PROFIT WAS NOT BEING RECIEVED TO THE INVESTORS, THEN WENT DIRECTLY IN PRESIDENTS EAR, LIKE HEY WHERE THE MONEY. TALKING PERSON WHO JUST QUIT THE COMPANY BECAUSE EVIL DIRECTOR AND HER SUPERVISOR FRIEND ASKING THEM TO CLEAN UP 1 MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF SHIT THAT WAS DONE INCORRECTLY BY DIRECTOR EMPLOYEES FRIENDS WHO THEY PROTECT, S, S J. HOW THESE OLD WOMEN FUCKER EMPLOYEES GET AWAY WITH SHIT LIKE THIS WITH THE DIRECTOR AND SUPERVISOR? WHY COULDNT COMPANY REALIZE INVESTMENT THEY ARE MAKING ON HIRING TERRIBLE EMPLOYEES WHO JUST WANT A PAYCHECK TO SURVIVE? YOUR NOT THERE TO HELP THE BUSINESS, OTHERWISE PEOPLE ON OTHER TEAMS WOULDNT HAVE DO THE DOUBLE WORK AND DOUBLE SHIT TO CLEAN UP YOUR WORK. SO THE COMPANY NEEDS START FIRING SUPERVISOR AND THOSE EMPLOYEES, START MAKING CHANGE NOW!!! OTHERWISE THAT COMPANY WILL RESULT IN LAYOFF'S AND DESTRUCTION. BUT AS FOR ME, STAYING SILENT WHILE THINGS UNFOLD.

MY THINKING OUT LOUD THOUGHTS ARE HERE TO SHARE FOR LIVE HUMAN SHIT GOING ON IN THIS WORLD OF ENCOUNTER BAD HIRED PEOPLE WHO GET AWAY WITH SHIT? HOW DO FAKE ASS NICE KINDESS ON THE OUTSIDE OF HUMAN SKIN AND ON INSIDE EVIL ENOUGH GET AWAY AND SWEEP THAT SHIT UNDER THE RUG? THE COMPANY IS STILL PROVIDING YOU A PAYCHECK. SOMETHING WRONG WITH COMPANY. COMPANY NEEDS TO OPEN THIER FUCKING EYES...

[noritoshiikamo]

game over

pairing: noritoshi kamo + fem!oc genre: angst tags//warning: established relationship, wild gojo appeared // blood, character death, emotion distress, mention of shibuya  note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. note that i put descriptions of the characters i write so it would be easier for me, you’re free to imagine the character the way you seem fits! okay listen imma be honest i dont like this part that much dhhdbdjksncjddiem and im sorry if it sucks bcs istg i cant compete to part 1 and 2 of it so IM SORRY tagging @unabashednightmarepizza @sassyeahhhh @dok-ja @sukirichi [bold means i cant tag u idky :( lemme know if wanna be tagged in the next part] read the first part | second part | third part | bonus

few years ago;

“you’re fucking ridiculous!”

“you’re injured, how the fuck is it me that’s being unreasonable?”

she contemplated stabbing him straight to his chest. “i’m fine, leave me alone,” she hissed, holding on to her arm as she tried to limp away. second year jujutsu student noritoshi kamo wondered how the hell one could be this stubborn. with blood caked up on the side of her face, lips busted and bruising in the corner, not to mention the broken arm and probably twisted ankle, he could not understand how one could be this reckless and stupid, it’s almost ridiculous.

but here she is standing in front of him.

“you could’ve let me handle it,” he said, coldly.

she never turned that fast in her life; her limping leg suddenly worked fine as she hauled her ass, throwing both fists to his chest. the force put was enough to threw him back a few steps, he caught her wrists holding her from falling down. “stop acting like i’m so fragile. i can exorcist the curse just fine. you make me hate you so much,” she spitted, pure rage etched on her face, “just because i’m a girl, because i’m your girl, i’m weak. please, i am as good as you are, kamo.”

their faces were so close, he could count the freckles spread on her nose and cheeks. he loves her eyes the very first time he caught glimpse of it; one is a dull brown while the other looks like it carries the secret of the bright blue sea. this time, the eyes he loves looked hopeless, lack of the burning spirit she carried with tears threatening to spill. letting go of a wrist, his trembling hand brushed the hair coated with the blood back, carefully not to hurt her. “i never said you are bad,” he clarified, fingers busy brushing the hair back. his sudden reaction surprised her, and her body betrayed her thoughts as she eased in his arms.

he tilted her chin, his head was panicking as he realised that his brain was no longer controlling his movement as he leaned down and kissed her.

she tasted like blood.

she winced, pain aching on the swollen part and he apologized so quietly as he deepened the kiss. “nori-” her voice croaked as she swallowed his moans. he hummed, satisfied by the kiss. their foreheads rest against each other, the tip of their noses touched as they struggled to catch breath.

“stop being stupid. let me help you okay?”

“okay.”

slipping his arm under hers, he helped her walk, leading them out of the abandoned building they managed to exorcist. nothing major, a couple of pestering level three and four curses that them both handled well but their supervisor missed to tell them about the hiding level two curse that took them by surprise. she had become the curse’s main target.

if she would’ve just listened to him and stay close. he sighed.

“ouch, ouch,” she cried, clutching on her left leg, forcing him to stop. impatient, he slipped his hand under her knees, lifting her up in his arms. she apologized profusely, embarrassed to be such a burden to him. he brushed it off immediately.

“did you call them? told them that we are done?”

she gasped, “wait, i thought they’ll wait for us.”

he huffed, “you’re not that important, y/n. give them a call, please. i want to go home.”

kicking the door open, the moonlight shone on them as he carried her down to the bottom stairs. settling her down on the steps, he sat beside her, letting a long sigh. he watched as she took the call, letting them know that she was slightly injured, and they need to go back asap. she was visibly tired, and he was the same too.

he couldn’t help but to sigh at the way the moonlight enveloped her. he had loved her from the very first moment he caught his eyes on her; she caught him staring, called him out publicly and ignored all his advances. it took him a lot to court her. she’s a gojo, she can have anything and everything with the sky is the limit.

but one thing money could never buy is affection.

it started with little stuffs; noritoshi waiting for her with her lunch readied every day. it annoyed her but momo (who was secretly rooting for him) forced her to just do it. “it’s just a lunch,” momo said sheepishly. noritoshi would have them paired all the time for the missions. she’d accepted it with open heart. noritoshi would also teach her how to weld a bow and shoot arrows. she promised that she would go out on date with him if he taught her.

by the end of their first year, they became inseparable.

the idea of being apart from her hurts him physically and mentally. she took a sharp breath when he laced his fingers between her own, quickly telling the other person on the phone that she was okay. “it was just noritoshi,” she replied with a small laugh. their hands fit each other; his skin contrasted her slightly tanned skin. while his hands were rough from welding the bow and he kept his nail short and clean, hers were slightly softer with her nails painted prettily. this month she had her nails painted in pastel. all the girls’ day out with momo and mai had proven its importance. he was happy to provide her with his black card despite her discontent.

“analysing my hands now?”

he smiled slightly, “it looks very pretty. i guess i got my money worth. are they coming?”

she leaned on his shoulder, his own wrapped around her as she closed her eyes, “they are around the corner. i would definitely need another round this week,” she teased. kissing her forehead gently, he didn’t mind that his uniform was stained with her blood; he was glad that she’s safe.

“i’ll happily take you there.”

few years later;

noritoshi kamo almost lost his mind. the stadium was half destroyed, huge craters on the pitch with the sight of his wife nowhere to be found. he looked up to the black pitch curtain encasing the stadium area from the sky, a curse escaped his lips.

“where the fuck are you?” he grunted, scanning the area.

she is gone, his stubborn little wife. she could’ve just wait but annoyed that their dinner date was interrupted and eager because this was their first mission together as a married couple; she escaped his supervision. as they were dealing with minor curses outside, she decided to head on forward, leaving him to deal with whatever is left. he beat himself inside for letting her come, he could easily do this himself and send her home safely, but she blinked her eyes and he was weak. she always has her way with him.

his step stopped when he realised there was a shadow ahead.

“she’s pretty,” the thing said.

his blood ran cold, “what did you do to my wife?”

the curse let out a laugh. it was sinister enough to send chills down his spine. especially when he realised the head it was stepping on was his wife. her eyes were fluttering back and forth, struggling to stay awake. a howl shocked him, shivers down his spine at the painful whimpers her shikigami making. cursed spirits were devouring it alive, overwhelming it and chewing every part of its body. his wife was too weak to dispel the shikigami; it’s dangerous as the devoured wolf shikigami will drain her cursed energy by a second.

all shikigami linked directly to the owner; everything inflected to the wolf, she could feel it too.

he needed a plan.

hidden in his wedding ring was a retractable knife. he rarely carries blood bags anymore as his power solidified itself. the older he got, the better he was at using and controlling a small steady flow of his own blood straight from the tap. with a clap of his hands, the knife cut his hand enough to send blood shooting like bullets. the blood hit the curses straight to its cores, died out instantly on impact, but the shikigami was beyond salvageable. it let out one last howl, one last goodbye before dropping to the ground, half of his snout gone. she will be devastated, it’s her only shikigami she managed to tame at such a young age, but at least it has stopped the shikigami from stripping his wife’s cursed energy to its core.

the fire burning in his eyes only made the curse laughed. he kicked her body away, spurting blood out of her mouth. she was halfway close to death’s doorstep.

“i will fucking murder you,” he hissed.

“my blood is my power. it’s supposed to rot human, stripping its meat from the bone like acid. however,” the curse nudged her body, “your wife didn’t. humour me, did your blood tainted hers? tell me, i’m curious how.”

“are you going to chit chat because i don’t have whole day.” his blood dripped on the pitch.

the curse grinned, shrugging his shoulder. he kneeled, running his bloody fingers on her cheeks leaving trails of flowers pattern that dissipated immediately, “i’m not here to fight. i’m here to serve a warning,” he looked up to the tensed sorcerer, “for gojo satoru. tell him, we’ll be waiting for him in shibuya.” noritoshi’s face scrunched in confusion.

“we have no business with the gojos.”

“but she is. she could change her name, married you, but it doesn’t erase the fact that she carried gojo’s blood in her vein. she’s the bridge to your two clans. i’m just killing two birds with one stone. ruin the kamo clan’s relationship with gojos and hurt gojo satoru. all thanks to her,” the curse turned his back on him, his laugh echoed as he walked away. the dark curtain disappeared slowly as the ground rumbled. a perfect chance for noritoshi to strike if it wasn’t because of the cursed spirit’s words gluing him to his spot, “oh, kamo, i believe a congratulation is overdue. let me know when’s the baby is due, i would love to drop by personally.”

the pillar holding on to the roof collapsed sending wave of dust all over the place. noritoshi covered his face, coughing as he sucked some in, removing his coat as a shield. the cursed spirit was no where to be found.

“the place is going to collapse! i’ll get the curse, you go get her!”

a voice echoed and he caught a glimpse of blond hair running past him and noritoshi didn’t think twice as he sprinted around the cracks and holes. who was that voice or who was the curse, he couldn’t give a single fuck, he just wants his wife back. he was shaking when he got to her, arms immediately scooped her up in his arms. her chest was raising slowly, blood dripping on the side of her lips as she struggled to exhale.

“you’re going to be okay,”

he told her, but he wasn’t sure if he will ever be.

-

“can you turn down the stupid light, it’s hurting my eyes.”

the voice laughed melodiously, the light moved to the other eye repeating the same thing.

“as you can see, she’s awake, slightly weak, but she should be okay.”

another voice interrupted, “are you sure?” she gasped, excited to hear a familiar voice. “nori?” she called out, unable to open her eyes, relying strictly to her hearing as she reached her shaky hands out for him. “her senses might be slightly off, just let her do it herself,” the woman’s voice noted, and she felt annoyed. how dare you underestimate me, her mind scoffed.

“my senses are fine. see?” she claimed as she held noritoshi’s hand up. he smiled, gently rubbing her hand with encouragement. “thanks, shoko, we are fine.”

“i’ll leave you be then. call me if you need anything.”

she listened to the clacking of shoko’s heels, followed by the door opening and slamming shut. she jumped, but he held her hand tighter, reassuring her that it’s alright. “so why can’t i see?” she asked, confident that they are alone now. she felt the bed sunk a little on the left side, “you were high on anesthesia, i’m surprise you could even move your jaw to speak.” she felt a finger brushed her hair aside, breath loomed on her face and she could feel her own face reddening up.

“are you going to kiss me or are you just going to tease me?” his heart swell up, despite her shaky voice almost made him laugh.

“do you trust me?” his hand cupped her cheek gently.

she nodded eagerly, “always.”

“good.”

his kiss hit her like a waft of fresh air. every kiss felt like a first kiss to her that she couldn’t help to react so eagerly to it. his tongue slipped through her defense, overwhelming her taste buds with such strong taste of iron. it didn’t stop her. she knew what he was doing from start. he peeked a little, didn’t stop a second from kissing her as he watched his blood marking appeared on her face. her hands went up around her neck pulling him closer and he obeyed, deepening the kiss.

heal; his mind commanded.

after a while, she pulled back, being the one to break apart from the kiss first, her chest raising up and down as she struggled to catch her breath. her eyes were wide open now, fluttering lazily as she leaned back on the propped-up pillow. he wiped the corner of his lips, eyes on her as he watched the open wound on her face and arms slowly closed leaving the fresh healed red marks behind. he relaxed when he heard a thank you coming from her, as she checked her healed arms.

“i’m disappointed with you,” he finally broke the silence.

“really?” she frowned. he always does this thing where he will immediately go into lecture mood every time she does something that pisses him off. it’s almost like a game to her as she waited for him to explode, “right now? not even going to wait until i’m discharged. this is a new record, toshi. like shoko said, i’m fine.” he shook his head, “it doesn’t make it right. you always disobeyed me. ignored my orders, going about with your goddamn big head, you could’ve been killed.”

she rolled her eyes, noritoshi is being noritoshi, what a drama queen, she mentally rolled her eyes, “but i’m not,” she pushed her hair back, twisting it easily into a simple loose knot, “i told you, i am not weak.”

“your shikigami was destroyed, your blood was poisoned, 70 percent was already circulating to every part of your vein, i had to beg for the higher up to help purify your blood,” her smile died down. this game no longer feels fun for her. noritoshi was really mad this time. “you think it’s fun and all game but game over, y/n. you need to stop doing this. if you can’t do it for me, do it for yourself.”

“leave me alone, nori, if you just going to nag, please i don’t want to hear it. i’m tired.”

it made him angry that she was taking his word lightly. running his hand in his messy hair, he felt like hauling his head to the wall.

“you don’t understand-”

she slammed her hand on the bed, interrupting his words, “no YOU don’t understand me, i’m tired of you babying me. i’m an adult, i am your wife, stop treating me like a fucking child! we have been married for months, but god you’re suffocating me.”

“i will when you stop endangering yourself. i will stop treating your like a child when you stop acting like one. you’re pregnant, for the love of god!” he threw his hand on the wall. the wall cracked from the force. “i’m what?” she felt the world stopped spinning. she was hundred percent sure that her ears and head were deceiving her. he removed his hand from the hole he made on the wall, his body shaking from the amount of anger building up.

“noritoshi, answer me! what do you mean- i’m not pregnant, i had my period this month.”

“you are,” he shrugged. he felt something hit him in the back; looking down he saw the fluffy white pillow sitting by his feet.

he pointed to the bedside table where a sonogram perched up against a tissue box. she was about to lose her mind. “this is not funny, if this is your mean way of fucking me up because i won’t listen to you then this is just fucking cruel.”

he marched towards him, his hand went down on his chin, forcing her eyes on him, “until you stop playing your stupid games, until you stop treating your life like it’s nothing, until you consider my feelings and my worries, as your husband is valid, i do not exist in your life,” tears fell down her cheeks, “like you, i’m tired too.

“nori i-“

he left her before she could say a word. she broke into sob; her chest was pounding so hard that the blood pressure monitor was beeping. the door burst opened but it was not the face she wanted to see. she was immediately hysterical. satoru managed to hold her wrist down before she ripped the tubes and needles off her arms. “no, no, i want nori. where is he!” she screamed as satoru held her down. “you need to calm down, it’s not good for the baby,” satoru cooed, but she was not having it. he turned to shoko, “her cursed energy is skyrocketing, she’s going hysterical, do something!”

“let me go!”

shoko held out a syringe, “hold her down.”

she screamed, thrashing so rough that she almost slipped out of the strongest sorcerer’s hands. she managed to get a needle out before she felt another sharp pain on her back. shoko pulled the empty needle out and they retreated away as she fell on her butt backward. she was reduced to a babbling mess, her eyes drooped as she struggled to fight the waves of sleepiness hitting her one after another.

“tell him i’m sorry,” she croaked out, before everything turned completely dark.

the blood pressure monitor returned back to normal.

three days later;

“are you still going to ignore her? it’s been 3 days.”

“she needs to learn her place.”

gojo satoru disagreed. he eyed the head of the clan, shaking his head before standing up. he thought he could convince noritoshi kamo to visit his wife, but the man was as stubborn as- huh, her.

“i think she have learned enough, she’s miserable. you’re miserable.”

the man glared at the blonde man child, raising the cup of tea up for a sip. the tea doesn’t taste as good as the way she made it. he left her for 3 days and he found himself struggling to do everything alone. 

he, noritoshi kamo, 23 years old and the head of the kamo family, could not make a cup of fucking tea.

she always said that the best way to make tea depends on how long you let it steep. “too early and you won’t get the right amount of flavour,” she explained, her back facing him as he watched from the counter as she loomed over the stove, “but if you steep it way too long you going to burn the tea leaves and it will make everything taste bitter.” she turned around, a huge smile on her face that made his heart skipped a beat.

he frowned; the tea tasted bitter.

“she’s pregnant, she’s supposed to be crazy. you are supposed to be the wise one. she is going to carry your child for 9 long months, i can’t explain to you how long that’s going to be but she is allowed to be crazy.”

he dropped the cup on the floor when gojo’s hand grabbed him by his collar, pulling him up from his chair.

“now please, see your goddamn wife before i deck you in the mouth.”

“i will.”

satisfied with his answer, gojo’s demeanor changed and he was again the man child they all know of him. noritoshi could no longer focus on the report in front of him; not when his mind is full of her and only her.

would she forgive him? he wasn’t sure.

but he would spend his lifetime making up to her and the baby if that’s necessary.

[indigo474]

3/30/24- Easter eve

i had a good week in the office. good=productive. I hardly have a team. 6- 1 comes back on Monday. the company is minimizing OT so most have off during the week-a few are working under 40. I had to do a lot in regards to the division I oversee.. talks with the GM and the service supervisor who a few weeks ago was gunning for me over an email- this week he was calling me sweetie.. someone overheard me on the phone with him and handed me a note saying he's ON today. When I hung up she said I think he drinks.. I think I had a good week work wise but its hard to tell- I showed up and did my best -

James switched up my workouts. Monday and Tuesday- i'm back to back squatting which I kind of like. Push-pull- by Tuesday I was sore- expected - wed I wanted to run at the park but it rained so I couldn't which was probably a good thing because I was still sore- its kind of nice coming home and catching up on things around here. Thursday I went to the gym and lifted a little- it was crowded.. I didn't do a few things I was supposed to because I didn't want to wait for the machines- I showed up so I'm gonna take it as a win.. so Friday all I can think about is running at the park- I checked the weather and no rain so yeah- I was feeling so good and looking forward to running so much that I planned on increasing the time by about another 10 minutes or so which would have meant I would be running for over an hour so I had to get there early.. I get up, have coffee and get up off the chair i'm sitting on and my back locks up.. I have no idea why. I tried stretching it was really stiff. I made myself get dressed with the hope that it would just go away.. I took motrin and decided that I was still going to the park because at this point I really needed to clear my head -maybe I cant run, but I can walk. I walked for a bit and did run a little. My back was on and off all day. I took a heating pad to work and took tylenol and Motrin. By last night it was fine and I was able to run today- I didn't up my time. I plan on running tomorrow so maybe tomorrow. I'm not sure why is going on and i'm not freaking out- totally random.. maybe? i don't know. sometimes I think things happen to remind me that i am not in control.

My mom came over Wednesday and was incredibly mean. I won't be spending Easter with her and I am Ok with that. I'm thinking Easter isn't my holiday. she was putting down where i live and kept telling me i was just like my father. When she was here last we had a conversation about my decision to not drink alcohol. we had a conversation. she has never purchased alcohol for me-NEVER-she hands me a bottle of wine and tells me she went to a special place to get it-i'm not supposed to get upset- but I do and she leaves and i'm glad and I wont be cooking Easter dinner and could I have handled it better- probably- I cant be around people who cant act right.

Madison has declared she does not celebrate Easter.

I have cutback on my caffeine consumption- I have a feeling it may have been contributing to the anxiety I was feeling. the amount of coffee I was drinking was crazy. I'm limiting myself to 2 cups per day, 1 energy drink and tea, Still a lot but not as much.. maybe.