#going berry picking as a metaphor for going to therapy

[yudrein-aile]

In which Yuder is told to make a decision and I reveal that I did not in fact make up an OC for this.

[cloudbatcave]

Back in Unova we go!

My first gripe is the Skyarrow Bridge, which connects Nacrene (the town that had the museum Plasma stole from, prompting me to be press-ganged to chase them) to Castelia (the new york city ripoff of the game).

It’s pretty! It’s cool in concept! It’s Nintendo holding it up with trembling hands and going “look, ma, I can do 3D now! Sort of!”

Iit’s a giant pain in the ass to get through as it takes at least a minute of keeping your finger on the B button to run across.

Normally I wouldn’t even have cared, so let’s rewind a bit to why I do.

So I finished kicking the shit out of Plasma, nothing notable there except that I kept getting jumped by ranger trainers who gave me berries like the weird hippies they are.

I nonchalantly jumped over a ridge to get out of the forest…only to realize I had trapped myself between that ridge (which, for those blissfully not in the know, cannot be jumped back over because in pokemon games they only work one way) and the rest of the trainers on the non-forest part of the route I hadn’t fought yet because I had been busy with the game’s resident brainwashed multitude of cosplaying weirdos.

This was an issue because at this point in the game, I do not have much money, and I had only been able to afford so many potions, most of which I had used to heal while either fighting trainers or wild pokemon. My guys were wiped, and several fights stood between me and the Nacrene pokemon center.

So that meant I had to trundle my ass toward the end of the route, take the bridge to Castelia, go to ITS pokemon center, and THEN go back and finish off the other trainers before turning right around again.

It’s especially galling considering that gen 5 has an NPC that will heal you…in the other part of the forest. But not, you know, where it would be actually helpful during the game’s plot portion.

On the more amusing side of things, it’s always funny to see how dumb Plasma is. When I beat up the last of them, one of the seven sages showed up and talked about how the skull they stole wasn’t the pokemon they were looking for anyway.

Who saw that coming?? It was obviously a dragonite skull, not a legendary. I just…it’s such a dumb excuse to have this plot bit. The writing for Team Plasma is so poor.

Picking up in Castelia, I walk around exploring that and meet some folks.

“Working women are beautiful, and battling pokemon is wonderful!” This chick knows where it’s at.

“Being healthy’s the best, because when you’re healthy you can do anything!”

You’re not wrong, random man, but I hope you don’t say this to just anyone who passes by because I feel it’s a tad insensitive to say to...literally anyone who isn’t the pinnacle of health.

“When my thrown poke ball rocks three times and I hear that great “click”…There are many things in my life that bring me joy!”

Can we not all relate? Good content, A+.

“Strength is not in the size of a body, it’s in the size of a heart!”

I mean…strength is in a heart, literally and metaphorically? It is also in the size of a body. Both are true, random old docks man.

“That black boat…what could it be?”

The people of Unova are not very genre savvy at the best of times.

It isn’t very open-minded to judge someone by the color of their boat, but given this is pokemon, you’d be justified in preemptively setting it on fire to deter the Obviously Evil People who own it.

I innocently walk down a street and then Fuckface Glassesdick pops out of the gym at me like the world’s worst whack-a-mole.

“Hey, Chirae. I just challenged Burgh. He’s a seasoned Gym Leader. He made me work for that badge!”

Post it on your twitter, Cheren, because your 1.5 followers and a shoelace care more than I do.

“But for me, bug-type pokemon aren’t much of a challenge.”

Look at the big man in town, not intimidated by the pokemon type that has three weaknesses and five types that resist it. Very brave.

“I’m going to keep winning like this against all of the Unova region’s Gym Leaders!”

Sorry, what was that? I tuned out because I was imagining literally anything else but you talking.

“Then, I’ll head for the Pokemon League and outperform the champion!”

No one likes Alder, and yet, somehow, I feel you would be an even worse replacement because you don’t even have cool hair to make you slightly less intolerable.

“If I do that, everyone will admit what a strong Trainer I am…”

I would rather be fed live slugs.

“That will make feel truly alive…”

Am I being paid for this therapy session? I deserve compensation for the tedium being forcibly shoved down my earholes right now.

Oh thank god he finally walked away.

And then Burgh makes an entrance, naturally.

“Ah hah! You’re the one who fought Team Plasma in the Pinwheel Forest…”

Yeah dude that happened like, yesterday. You don’t need to announce it. I remember. I was there.

“If I remember, your name is…Chirae!”

I honestly do not give a fuck if you remember my name, as I intend on forgetting yours after I get your badge.

“Come to challenge the gym, I suppose?”

What gave it away? Was it me standing outside the gym looking like I really wanted to hit a smug prick with glasses and dark hair?

“Aww. Sorry, but could you wait a bit?”

You’re going to give me a fetch quest, aren’t you.

“I was informed that Team Plasma has shown up!”

EVEN WORSE. Yet again I ask where the fucking police are. We’re not in artsy fartsy town anymore, Castelia is a whole-ass city. Why in god’s name is there not some way of keeping the peace that isn’t random trainers?

“In fact…Come with me! I’m going to the dock at Prime Pier!”

Who writes the child labor laws in unova? Monkeys?

also I have not finished ambling around the city yet and that is incredibly more important than this travesty of a plot so Burgh gets to wait on me now.

and he zips off into the night, just assuming I know where he’s headed in this city I literally only arrived in today.

[chasegarcia708-blog]

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[therotationblog-blog]

4:44 v DAMN

As an un-apologetic Hip-Hop Purist, writing this editorial was the hardest thing I’ve had to do – but it’s so necessary. 4:44 vs DAMN. Jay-Z ,undisputedly the greatest Rap artist alive released his 13th studio album just 77 days after the quintessential rap prodigy, Kendrick Lamar dropped his 4th. As summer comes to a close, the only questions in my mind (besides which day parties i should be taking off of work for) is which album is hotter and which one will leave a greater impact on the culture

Obviously the latter question is harder to speak on, but I will make my projections. For now lets break this thing down from cover, to roll-out. Cover For me this is an easy early win for the kid K. Dot. Standing in front of bricks represents his hard past. In Hip Hop, the term/icon “bricks” owns multiple meanings from drugs, to money, to Newark, New Jersey, etc. So the symbolism is palpable. The red painted bricks, which we also see in the font DAMN,  put the viewer on alert (and unintentionally signals Compton blood ties). But we can’t forget the stare. `I think this is the generational look of “I'se tired.” This cover depicts the plague known as the common man’s struggle. Unfortunately, 4:44 holds back all punches with its warm, autumn toned, well-centered, easy to read font. Did we mention its Jay-Z’s 13th studio album? Jay Z 0 Kendrick 1 Opening Song Kill Jay Z (2:58) So the first thing Jay Z does is flat out order a hit on himself, and provide reasons why. Then turns the gun (likely a draco) on his little brother Kanye ($-20 M).This is right before Hov explains the time he got stuck in an elevator, through a random Eric Benet metaphor, about a mismanaged relationship with Halle Berry 12 years ago. Kill Jay Z is more a prophecy of what people will want to do to Jigga once they hear how he really feels. 10/10 Blood (1:58) “Is it wickedness … . is it weakness?” That pause built so much anticipation. This is an old Hov trick though, when you’re great you make them wait on you. Blood is an amazing intro to set the stage for DAMN, but I would describe this first track as more like a vivid poem then a banger. All in all, this was a layup from Kendrick to start the album. 9/10 Jay Z 1 Kendrick 1 #1 Single 4:44 (4:44) Have you ever seen a grown man cry? If not, this song is basically the same thing. I don’t think anyone has ever been so transparent in hip hop, ever. Jay’s transparency about some really terrible things he’s done some how comes off as noble and deeply insightful. Content wise, any music junkie will spend the next few months of their life unpacking these lyrics 10/10. Humble (2:57) I believe this is Kendrick’s first true single. I mean that in the sense that he blended his raw artistry and commercial appeal into a cohesive anthem. By no stretch of the imagination is this a lyrical masterpiece, but this single amplifies Lamar’s ability to evoke emotion through only a few words and cadences. 9/10

Jay Z 2 Kendrick 1

#2 Single

Bam (3:54) This song is an allude to the classic Blueprint series. While everyone now is trying to find their island/calypso vibe, Hov punches a hole in the wall andactually features a real reggae artist. Bam is basically Brooklyn’s labor day parade wrapped inside an mp3. And for kicks, Jay flashes his GOAT card with bar after bar of platinum level boasting.  9/10

DNA (3:05) Another genius blend of lyrical content and a rallying cry. Sonically bold and abrasive, the lyrics paint a softer picture.  It asks each of its listeners to look within themselves and identify who they are. Then urges us to take a closer look at those whom we may be idolizing (ahem Drake). Whether you relate or not to what’s in K. Dot’s DNA, anyone who listens can feel this song strike a tribal awakening. 10/10

Jay Z 2 Kendrick 2

Top Visuals

The Story of O.J. (4:16 ) So there’s a KKK factory in this video, then one of the klannies takes their hoods off and he’s “still nigga”. If you haven’t seen the video don’t worry there are plenty more mind blowing metaphors to drop your jaw at. From burning crosses, to O.J. satire  and walking back to Brooklyn on the bridge, this video addresses a lot. In a really Inception like manner, my only critique of the video is its main charm. The fact its a cartoon.. I feel people will overlook the deeper meaning of each scene, but it would be nearly impossible to live act all these scenes (under budget). Without creating anymore of a contradiction let me say this video and song combo are like Tom n Jerry, met the Wire. In the good kind of way.  9/10

Loyalty (4:00) This video treatment is Oscar worthy. Based on cinematics and effects alone, Dave Meyers produced a truly stunning visual product. My critique for the video is that the storyline could have been more original. I get the story, he and Rih Rih are a new Bonnie Clyde. She gets him to fight the latino guy, joy rides the whip and then the latin mafia come for revenge. I’m pretty sure he crashes the car and goes all Kung Fu Kenny before he gets plastic bagged. The video is a little confusing, but who cares the visuals are pupil therapy. More Dave Meyers please.  9/10

Jay Z 2 Kendrick 2

Production

As easy as Kendrick won the battle for better cover, Jay Z owns the debate on better production. Yes, Kendrick has a pair of Mike Will Made hits, and tracks from producers like 9th Wonder and The Alchemist. BUT! Nothing this year can equate to the level of sophistication and symmetry applied by NO.I.D. on 4:44. His production gives all the feels of soul music, an essence in hip hop that many argue has faded from the ethos.

Jay Z 3 Kendrick 2

First Week Sales Though Sprint purchased 1m albums from TIDAL then offered them for free - this was never reported to Nielsen the data reporting agency, so it doesn’t count. But DAMN didn’t sell, or stream 1 million units its first week, by any scheme. However, the album did reach 2m units aka *Double Platinum* within 103 days. (FYI: More Life by Drake - 505k +in its first week).

4:44 : 262k + DAMN : 603k + Jay Z 3 Kendrick 3

Editor Picks: Moonlight - Jay Z / Duckworth - Kendrick Lamar

Final Score

It seems clear today that Kendrick has produced the hotter album. With 10 of the 14 (71%) of the album earning a spot on the Billboard 200, to date this is one of the best charting albums of all genres. Kendrick ingeniously has his cake and is eating it too, by serving up something for the lyrical analysts and the vibe gurus, at the same DAMN time. With that being said, I believe that in 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 years 4:44 will have even 21 Savage fans saying damn!  Not to mention he just released the highly anticipated 4:44 Bonus tracks (“Adnis”, a song/video on daddy issues, “Blue’s Freestyle/We Family”, self-explanatory **Jay goes off**, “MaNyFaCedGod”, feat. James Blake) and something about hearing Blue Ivy flowing “boom shaka laka” has me thinking she’s up next. These two albums are like walking in on your parents have sex. You’re going to close your eyes, but you can’t close your eyes and you won’t ever forget it.

issa tie.

-Sensei Joe

[watcheraiwaz-blog]

fullblind [rnwl, in progress]

1.1.2017

"but the only way your dumb ass assing ass asses could ever have one was if it was stolen." "you stole a time freezing crystal from testicle monsters?"

two feet over the edge with your head turned right back around and around owl sounds melting down the wax tablets to rid the marks and take a hold of something a little more suitable to play on repeat until the burn-in of outlined black like it was worthwhile to remember members only member berries port wine stains and dusty sherry tipped down your throat, i'll issue this corollary, this addendum, this extra packet appendix tacked onto the back, if you want

the eastern bright i staked my claim to is bound to the other directional points through a single black blot, a dark star, the one i was reborn under, the one i'm currently picking out glass shards of from beneath my skin without the ink kahlil gibran tri dots, looking neat a rarebolt firing down the street so fast i can't help but be pulled underneath by the current or currently enamored by the returned mahdi

in my reflection, i sometimes see the wrong pair of eyes unless i smear enough of the warpaint, paint me like your french girls, make me a martyred saint and a finality on the grounds for divorce the places we'd have hacked out for a civil discourse but the time's since past and we're off to tabula rasa and beyond the spots blurring up my vision, left for dead in the snakelawn murder me slowly because i'll respawn behind you get back into your own corner need i remind you

and i'm off the chain just double tied suede and a mutagen enough to make the earth and walls quake with the promise of being returned home wherever that resides

east side flag planted firm in the red clay ridges back behind and there's no other way up and out through the spaces entirely gray i ain't tried this exit in but i might could may stack all my superlatives like i was the best choice in my high school class and fuck all the rest of those classless hoes with the misfortune to have crawled back to the swamp drain it in dc and find it back where you walk down cherry street not the one i came up on but this new family tree

i've gotten real fond of shaping hedges and shoving wedges between the sheets and doors keeping secrets in the open need i say much more but i got doorslammed, i got sucker punched, i won't yield, i'm chalking this up to luck of the worst sort keep fucking folx over as my main sport fantasy team draft pick number one flying free through the terror sans support and reaching for the hand that keeps on biting without teeth say please say i'm feeling a little milder, meeker, weaker since the influenza influence came to school me with wgu online classes stereotypical ass professor owls in glasses

and whoooooo spins their head all the way around and whoooooo could be this bad at converting third downs but whyyyyy am i worrying about the college ball metaphors when i can't even pawn this existence off at the hellhole store let's go sick cough it up phlegmatic movement front and center while we keep away from the socratic discussion of the improvements we could be making overall if we just

therapy has been so good to me this city is a tinder lottery i can't deny the only thing kiss me clever through the tea leaves tell the future i don't see or recognize barely by squinting and glinting shiny gold over the monopoly you hold on the property snakelawn sold awfully callous and cold so set it free so set us free i didn't come here to make friends i came to make money i didn't roll up here to set trends i came correct