#goggley-blade

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Goggley-Blade

Debut: Wario Land 4

Now this is a Critter! A real absolute Critter. I don't usually think of aquatic animals as being "critters", it usually feels more like a term for something that scurries across a forest floor, but this is such a critter! A fishy face and fishy fins, but with rather birdlike legs and feet! And it wears goggles. Maybe it doesn't like getting water in its eyes, despite how fishy it is. Or maybe it LOVES getting water in its eyes, and the goggles are full of water! That way, if it goes on land, its eyes can stay moist. It has never heard of "blinking".

Wario says that Goggley-Blade "looks weak and inconsequential". That's so rude! I know Wario is all about Rude, but this specific instance feels extra mean to me. No creatures are inconsequential! Maybe that's why Goggley-Blade looks so incredibly furious when it attacks. This is dangerous to Wario, because Wario Land 4 is one of the games where his hubris allows him to take damage. Should have thought about that before insulting a critter!

I'm just realizing, Goggley-Blade's legs look like a bird's, but those joints are bending forward, so they're knees, not bird ankles! I guess that confirms this creature as a fish with bird elements rather than a bird with fish elements, if you were hoping to classify it. I believe it. Have you seen armored sea robins? There are fish that basically turned into bugs!

Goggley-Blade's Italian name translates to "Sharp Eyes". Its eyes aren't the sharp part, silly! I don't want to imagine sharp eyes! What if you cut an onion with sharp eyes? That would be horrible! Oh no, I'm doing it! I'm imagining sharp eyes! How unfortunate.