#goes with the 'Black Rainbow' series I've got

[diazsdimples]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday

Hi, it's new wip time. I started watching Man in the High Castle and had the biggest hit of inspiration I've had in weeks. The TV series is based off the premise of "What if the US lost WW2 and were occupied by Japan and Germany?" Here is a snippet, with context and tags below the cut!

Buck shifts restlessly from foot to foot. It’s stiflingly hot in the station, the air oppressive and suffocating. Every glance from an officer seems condemning, as though they suspect something. Beside him, Lucy is the picture of tranquillity. Her hand rests gently on the swell of her abdomen, cradling their – no, her – baby as she waits. Sensing his unease, Lucy lays a hand on his arm. “What’s the matter, darling?” she asks. From the outside, it seems like nothing more than a concerned wife checking in with her husband, but Buck can read the subtext. Quit fidgeting, dickweed, you’ll blow our cover. Buck moves towards her, his lips ghosting over her ear as though leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Omnis nox mox vertetur in diem” he whispers, repeating the code they’ve spent days mulling over. The only clue Nash had given them about the identity of their contact. “How do we know which one he is?” Lucy reaches up and brushes a curl off his forehead, smiling sweetly. “Best hope he’s got a great fucking sun on his shirt, hadn’t we?” She pats his cheek, outwardly reassuring, but he knows she’s reminding him of their situation. One slip up could end them both in the cells, beaten for information until they spill. She might not actually be his wife, but Buck feels a sense of duty towards Lucy and her unborn child, at least until they’re through the checkpoint and he’s met the contact – night turning into day or whatever the fuck that means. The line moves forward, and Buck takes the opportunity to scan the people waiting on the other side. There’s an elderly couple, the lady clutching a handy to her chest as she waves at someone behind him, a severe looking man in a black trench coat and a hat – far too obvious to be their contact – standing beside a harried looking couple with four young children, all clamouring for their parents’ attention. A man catches his eye. He’s tall, brown hair flopping over his eyes as he eyes the people in line. A thick moustache rests on his upper lip, but he’s otherwise clean shaven, smooth brown skin that vanishes into the crisp, pressed collar of his shirt. He looks to Buck to be of Latin descent – something he doesn’t come by often in the East. Beside him stands a young boy, leaning heavily on a set of wooden crutches. His legs seem to be bent, but if he’s in pain he hides it well. He looks up at the man – presumably his father – with wide and trusting eyes. Waiting for the return of their mother and wife, Buck assumes. Lucy takes his arm and ushers them forward again, jolting him from his daze.

Context: In this fic, Buck is a member of the resistance and escapes the German East with Lucy (also a member of the resistance) so he can deliver information to R. Nash in Los Angeles. Lucy only goes as far as Colorado. Eddie is also a member of the resistance, living in the Neutral Zone. He and Buck meet in Colorado and travel together the rest of the way to the West, where they finally reach the resistance stronghold in LA. And the rest I shan't say. But here's a snippet, beneath the cut to save your dash!

Tagging @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @buckera

@steadfastsaturnsrings @actuallyitsellie @bigfootsmom @jesuisici33 @rainbow-nerdss

@lonelychicago @monsterrae1 @watchyourbuck @bidisasterevankinard @wikiangela

@cal-daisies-and-briars @tommybuckleykinard @bibuckbuckgoose @wildlife4life @bucks-daddy-issues

@dorkydiaz @queerdiaz @bucksbignaturals @exhuastedpigeon @slightlyobsessedwitheverything

@alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @kitteneddiediaz @thekristen999 @perfectlysunny02 @inell

@epicbuddieficrecs @bekkachaos and anyone else who wants to share something (lmk if you want to be added or removed)

[rikiinamwachi35]

rare meme

[Image: An image of a plate of fried chicken, with a figure standing next to it. The figure is dressed in black robes and has a hood over their head. The figure's face is obscured by shadow, and their eyes glow with an otherworldly light. A caption reads: "ጠቆር ያለ ግኖስቲክ ጃህ ታየ፣ በሰ���ይ ላይ የሚያብረቀርቅ የአ��ርኛ ምልክቶች አሉ።" In the background, there is a collage of different images, including a chat log, a topology diagram, and a series of equations. A caption reads: "The universe reveals its secrets." Superimposed on top of the image is a block of text that reads as follows:]

Title: “Hal’s wet, ice blue hands and the quasar flower”

Chatbot: Generate a hypothetical interdimensional cable episode script about the following: rasta wittgenstein and bell hooks put the following meme on a hypothetical instance of 4chan that Morty from Rick and morty sees, after which he forces rick to take him to meet the characters mentioned. They meet in a pub in Edinburgh, called Deacon Brodie’s Tavern. The meme goes: 

[Rasta Wittgenstein and bell hooks are seen sitting at a table, deep in thought. Wittgenstein shows bell hooks a meme that says: blah blah ሪክ እና morty blah blah blah የተጠበሰ ዶሮ. Suddenly, they both burst out laughing, and Rasta Wittgenstein says: “Rasta Wittgenstein: "I've got it! A meme about Ender and Bean and fried chicken.”” BMO from Adventure Time sees the meme and makes a “seasoned chicken” meta meme about the book gravity’s rainbow and instagram and the Gingko seed, mentioning the color Pantone 627u, and posts it on a hypothetical version of Tumblr, which Morty sees. Jessica, who only uses 4chan in this specific universe, sees this text on /b: “>blah blah ሪክ እና morty blah blah blah የተጠበሰ ዶሮ Pantone 645u.” BMO gets a text from Hal Incandenza from Infinite Jest that says: “I’m writing a research paper about Gilles Deleuze, Rasta Wittgenstein, bell hooks, blah blah ሪክ እና morty blah blah blah የተጠበሰ ዶሮ, and “Speaker for the Dead”. Can we work together?” Meanwhile, a young chemical engineer at Tsinghua university with big plans and a glint in his eye, who was exiled in his youth, starts posting code on 4chan for a program called XiQiMemeGenerator, signing the posts <🐐Barrenwort>. Bean investigates the <🐐Barrenwort> posts, and starts having visions of an earth made of fried chicken.]

[airandangels]

I've never read much about the costuming for M*A*S*H so my thoughts about it are informed only by observation. I've got a semi-baked concept that sitcom costuming in particular is somewhat akin to cartoon costuming - the characters don't wear exactly the same outfit all the time, but they often have a type of outfit or garment that recurs and keeps their look consistent (eg Eleanor's tops and sweaters with rainbow designs in The Good Place), and I was thinking about that today (I've been rewatching the whole series over the past few weeks, as you may have noticed).

Obviously most of the cast is in some variation of army uniform most of the time, and the most attention-getting part of the wardrobe for years was Klinger's outfits. Even after he mostly gives up on cross-dressing and costumes, he still makes himself visually different a lot of the time by wearing a Toledo Mud Hens jersey and baseball cap (I have however read that it was actually a Texas Rangers cap because they couldn't find a real Mud Hens one and the Rangers cap was at least the right colours with a T on the front). I also like how he never gets rid of some of his feminine clothing - he keeps on wearing a bright pink plush dressing gown, and there was a scene in the episode "Give 'Em Hell, Hawkeye" where he goes to get a bottle out of his footlocker and first takes out what looks like pink lingerie, implying either that he still wears it sometimes or at least that he wants to hold onto it for sentimental value.

You can also see character development reflected in Margaret's wardrobe; as she becomes less of an antagonist/martinet and more of a tough friend, she wears more soft and casual-looking sweaters and cardigans, and the black turtleneck she often wore in early seasons falls out of rotation (which I regret because she looked terrific in it). She also has a range of happi coats/kimono-style jackets that are her casual.party-wear equivalent of the boys' ubiquitous Hawaiian shirts. Margaret's hair and make-up have never reflected the supposed period of the show but it's particularly noticeable when she wears teeshirts that she's either not wearing a bra or just a soft-cupped type that I'm not sure existed in the 50s.

Father Mulcahy's wardrobe never changes appreciably because Mulcahy doesn't need to change; he begins as a good, kind, helpful person and remains a good, kind, helpful person whose convictions aren't altered by his experiences except to make him increasingly broad-minded in his compassion. He sports a black turtleneck and a dirty white Panama hat with his fatigues and silver crucifix throughout, and we sometimes see him in Loyola sweats to reinforce his athleticism (also to make him look soft and cuddly).

Henry Blake (mayherestinpeace) of course was seldom in correct uniform, wearing his fishing vest and hat as much as possible, so you always knew he wanted to be elsewhere doing something recreational, not professional; Colonel Potter is much more regulation in his dress but likes to wear his cavalry hat (and sometimes an odd cowboy hat that appears to be made of cardboard) and occasionally breaks out a glorious item like his brown and white horsie cardigan. His variations from uniform represent what he loves (horsies) but not a lack of commitment to his role. He's kept his earlier uniforms going back to WWI, as he represents continuity, pride in service but a growing weariness and grief at the futile repeating cycle of wars to end wars.

There is really no need to say anything about Frank Burns.

Major Winchester wears his uniform the most formally and neatly of any of the officers, because he's a gentleman who maintains Standards regardless of where he is. I think he expresses his individuality more in his personal effects, like his red velvet pillow and fine china tea-set.

Everyone seems to have a different bathrobe or dressing-gown, some of them very grubby-looking (Colonel Potter's in particular is so cruddy it's hard to see the point of having a shower and then putting it back on). Hawkeye's stands out not only because of its rich red colour (or purple if he's writing his will) but because it's not a civilian dressing-gown, it's a convalescent robe issued to patients, creating an association with being ill or wounded, all the time. He obviously loves his Hawaiian shirts and his straw cowboy hat.

BJ, I think, is actually the person other than Klinger who messes with his uniform the most. He wears a jacket with the sleeves cut off, he wears bright red braces, he wears an assortment of henley tops of which the pink one is only the most alluring, he has an extremely silly straw hat for party time, and of course much of the time he wears high-top Chuck Taylor sneakers instead of army boots. Hawkeye is the person who complains the most verbally about being in the army but BJ seems to be registering his protest visually through the clothes he wears (in addition to his cheesy moustache). I also like his comfy grey sweatshirt with the sleeves hacked off, and he is the most enjoyable member of the male cast to see with his shirt off. I find him pleasingly chaotic and choose to believe this is how he dresses in his time off at home too.

that's all I have about that at the moment

[wahlpaper]

Aromantic Book Recs

Whether it is the main character, the focus of the book, or a beloved side character, more aromantic representation in literature never goes amiss! There are more options for aromantic characters besides what you will find below, but I hope this will serve as a starting place.

Black Spire by Delilah S. Dawson:

Our aromantic main character is Vi Moradi. She can be found in Phasma by Dawson as well, although her romantic identity is not revealed until this book. In this book, Vi is on a mission to help set up an outpost for the Resistance. She will need her former captor and a new set of friends to make it happen. Although this book is certainly a big advertisement for the Disney park, it spins a wonderful adventure tale filled with platonic love. Great for fans of Star Wars and those who got hooked on Dawson's writing.

Clariel by Garth Nix:

This prequel to the Old Kingdom series features an aromantic tragic hero who is likely asexual as well. I've heard it said that this book plays into the trope of queer characters being evil, but this is a misinformed claim. Avoiding spoilers, I will simply say to read Goldenhand after this before assuming Clariel's story is complete. There is a reason that she is shown to be a sympathetic character in this book. Additionally, Clariel has an aromantic role model in her childhood to look up to. All of Garth Nix's books respect the Queer community.

Cool for the Summer by Dahlia Adler:

This book is filled with both Jewish and Queer representation, the main character being culturally Jewish and bisexual. Among the other queer characters is Keisha, a nerdy side character who gets on well with Larissa, the main character.

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann:

Winnie is about to have the last summer before she starts college. She wants a perfect summer of just working at her Ganny's diner, chilling in Misty Haven, and spending time with her aro/ace ungirlfriend, Kara. Unfortunately, Winnie's family is at risk of losing the diner that Winnie had hoped to inherit one day. She doesn't like the spotlight, but she's going to have to embrace it for the plan she's hatched to save the diner. With the help of Dallas, she might just be able to save the diner and her summer. This book also has polyamorous and plus-sized representation!

Rick by Alex Gino:

Rick is in middle school now. Before this, he has been pretty passive, going along with whatever his father of best friend say. He doesn't like to question things, even when he feels uncomfortable. That changes when he finds the Rainbow Spectrum club. He starts to learn about the Queer community and his own role in it. Rick explores new friendships and boundaries. Along the way, he seeks to understand why he doesn't like talk of girls being hot, where that places him on the ace/aro spectrums.

[leahseclipse]

The Reichenbach Fall: Aftermath - Chapter One: Happy Death Anniversary, Detective.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x GN!Reader (With some Fem mentions)

Warnings: S2 FINALE SHERLOCK SPOILERS, Major character death; death topic, mourning, suicide mentions, depression mentions... (lemme know if I missed stuff.)

Summary: Two years after the death of Sherlock, what could be next?

Word Count: 4.0K

A/N: Hey there! I've finally found the motivation to post my Sherlock fic here. If you prefer AO3, click here :)

++

Sherlock used to call at midnight, he never cared whether you were trying to sleep, or if you were actually sleeping- he’d just call.

Sometimes to complain that technology was futile given the multitude of defaults it contained (his phone, for example)- or to talk about an article in a newspaper, thinking we’d be interested in it.

It’s been two years since the last call. No one could bring themselves to delete his number since; and I understand the reason for it. We all had some hope inside us, it was small given all the time that went by, but it was there.

We all wondered if he wasn’t alive. Movies aren’t real, so the whole fake-death scenario couldn’t have been real but we all thought “why not?”, it could happen. That was over a year ago, but I still believed it, I wasn’t quite planning on giving up; and when my phone rang a bit after midnight, I still had a glimpse of hope, each time.

That glimpse was cut short when I read the caller ID. It was John. I did like him, he just wasn’t who I expected to see, but I picked up the phone, just to not be rude. Voicemail is awful. “John? What’s going on?”

"I...I don’t really know, actually. Guess I...needed to feel less alone. I don’t even know."

“Hold on.” I glanced at my bedside as I put the phone on speaker before sitting on the bed. "...so, you couldn’t sleep?"

"Yeah, I’ve been trying for an hour, certainly because of..." He stopped, hesitating with his words.

Who else other than Sherlock would it be, honestly. The man’s always been in our thoughts, and now that he’s gone, we have to be reminded that he’s stuck in our minds. The only way to hear him is through memories, and probably some of us are afraid to forget what he sounds like through time. He wasn’t the guy to make documentaries on him, film himself- hell, he rejected every interview he was offered. The only thing we have is pictures, which isn’t enough.

"It’s him, isn't it?" I presumed.

"Yeah, Sherlock." He confirmed. “It’s the anniversary of his death, in two weeks.”

See, that was the kind of thing I didn’t want to recall as it made me think of what I didn’t want to accept, but at the same time, if I stopped thinking about that, might as well forget Sherlock completely.

"It kept me awake too." I admitted.”I can’t believe it.”

No one really does, to be honest. We all wish that it could be fake, that’s what we would need, even if it’d hurt to see him while we mourned all this time.

"It still feels a bit weird without him, even after basically two years."

“It didn’t seem right without him, at first."

"It took us a bit to get used to it, and still...I think I didn’t get used to it fully to this day."

"Neither am I, John. I don't think I ever will. Time will make the pain less...painful, but it’ll never erase him, he'll be in our thoughts from the moment we wake up."

"I wish it was all a dream. I hate to wake up and not see him. He annoyed me sometimes but...he was my friend."

"He was annoying but a good friend, yeah.” I said, “It’s just...not right. Nothing is right. I feel like everything has gone cold. I swear that I haven't seen a single ray of sunshine."

"It's probably time fooling around, I don't know." He said.

"It could but, when he was there, there would be some sunny-ish days. I haven't seen one since. He left, and it's like he took the sun with him, John. The whole world is falling apart.”

"I felt that too, for a moment. But, I don't really trust whatever I think about these days. I don't pay much attention to whatever I do."

"You should be careful though, I don't need you to die because you didn't pay attention out there. And before you say anything, there's no joke in there. I mean it, Watson.”

"I wasn't going to say that, trust me."

"You better. I need you there."

"Same goes for me. You've been of great help since…"

"Yeah. Since." I paused. "It sucks."

"It does.” He agreed. “Well I...I’m gonna go back to sleep, I don’t want to bother you all night.”

“You didn’t bother me, don’t worry. It helped to talk. I could even stay a bit more, if you’re not planning on going back now.”

“Alright, then.”

++

It’s like the weather watched me plan the day, rain is on time. It couldn’t be more depressing on top of me dressed in black, but I just didn’t feel like coming in rainbow clothes would be appropriate, even if he wouldn’t care how I dressed anyway, even if he’s dead, yeah.

It feels weird to go, I always expected this was all a dream, or that it’d just...never happen. He’s the kind of person that outlives everyone, and Sherlock was this kind of person, he’s always been that person. He even used to say he’ll always be there, that he’d never leave, and now I guess we’ve both made mistakes, he’s not here anymore.

I never thought that would happen, I can’t tell how bad I prayed to whatever god to wake up, but that did nothing but make me a fool, nothing changed.

His apartment remained empty, as ours, he’d consider each house he could sleep at, his. I remember that he stayed at John’s for a week, before having to go back as John was “not entertaining” enough because he slept too much- As if we got to sleep all day.

He used to think everyone was like him, barely sleeping, barely tired, because I don’t think I’ve had the opportunity of seeing him elsewhere other than a room full of piles of papers.

He did sleep, but not at night, it was kind of like a cat, throughout the day, when possible. I always laughed about it along with John, and he never minded, he’d either pretend to not care, or join the conversation, and I already miss this kind of talks.

They’d either be incredibly short, or extremely long, you really had to clear your schedule for an hour or two when he’d talk. It’s not that it bothered me, it was more the others, those who didn’t know him. They’ve always found an amount of weirdness in him, which I had when I was like them, a stranger.

I never thought we’d get close, I didn’t even think anyone was close with him, he seemed quite the lonely guy, very private. Even after getting to know him, he remained quite private, as I thought, he wouldn’t share much, even with John and Mycroft; but, it didn’t matter that much, we still managed to have a great friendship, and I’ll always miss it.

Not any person will be like him, he was one of a kind. Not anyone could copy him without being seen as a fool. Sherlock Holmes was unique, he didn’t copy anyone to rise up, didn’t take anyone as a model, he did it all himself, he was a model himself.

He didn’t wish to be like anyone, it was the contrary, everyone wanted to be at his level, have the recognition he had, the fame, all the things that made him known, that made Sherlock be him. Even I won’t find a mentor like him, not any of them will be better, they’ll all seem ridiculous to me, even if they have more experience than him.

Nothing will be the same. This world won’t be the same without him being here, he’s gone now.

He took a big piece of whatever thing, when he left, and whatever thing he took was a big one, because it left us all empty. The kind of empty feeling that won’t quite go away, we’ve all been so used to having him around so much that it was a habit.

And now that he’s gone, nothing feels right, even living doesn’t feel right. It won’t ever feel right without him.

I almost feel guilty for being alive, I’m not as smart as him, I won’t contribute to anything. He was the smart one, we really lost an important person and I don’t think it wouldn’t have changed much if I had died instead, people would just be sad, I think.

It wouldn’t be that bad.

His death is bad to the point that the world he left behind can’t function as well as when he was alive. The whole puzzle is missing, hell, the whole world, if I go out of the metaphor.

...Sherlock would have been the corners of it, the foundations of it, what made it whole, what gave a start to get the rest of the puzzle.

He would have corrected me with hundreds of better metaphors if he could hear me, I really suck at this. He never did, though.

In fact, most of his talking contained metaphors, it was his signature, his day couldn’t feel right if he wouldn’t tell at least one.Now the whole ‘no day without a metaphor is a bad day’ is falling on us, and nothing or no one will make that feeling go away.

It’s strange, and funny that he managed to create all of those special feelings, memories, that we only felt with him. Sherlock’s had quite the special part in our lives. He changed our lives in such a spectacular way, and to be honest, life felt less depressing, even if our job is full of dead people and mysteries that make our sleep schedule non-existent, quite rare.

He made us forget all of that shit, whenever he could. That’s why I looked up to him, and thought about him so much. Whenever I had a problem, I’d call him first. Of course, I did call John, and Mycroft, but Sherlock was like my emergency contact, he’d always pick up, if possible.

Somehow, he always knew the answers to everything, and when he was clueless (which only happened twice, in five years)- he'd attempt to find something close to it, and even if his explanations didn’t solve anything, I didn’t care.

It probably made him sort of happy to explain it, share his big knowledge, so as long as he enjoyed himself, that was enough. I did hope he did enjoy himself, I never thought about asking and now that I think about it, I probably should have, it’s too late now.

If he can hear me, a sign would be great, probably. A good thing if he enjoyed talking, and a bad one if I annoyed him? It’d be nice to know even if he probably won’t answer, he must still be working; I know it.

He would be bored if he didn’t have his face in newspapers and whatever case. I always said Sherlock not to overwork, but he never listened. I hope he’s not doing it right now, that man was a total workaholic, right to his last breath, he never stopped.

I just hope he’s okay, wherever he is.

He deserves peace, enough things happened to him, he almost died a couple times, almost lost us if we hadn’t survived all of the wounds and things that happened, almost lost himself because of depression- all of these could have killed him.

He would have stayed alive, but he would have died inside, I just know it even if he didn’t show it much. But he did feel, he did have feelings.

I know he liked us a lot, even though he didn’t show it much; he did enjoy living even with all of the problems he had so, let’s hope he’s not in pain, stressing, suffering, whatever feeling that makes him feel bad.

You can take it easy now, we’re taking care of what you couldn’t finish for you, we’re taking care of the legacy you couldn’t pursue for you, we’ve got your back, Holmes. John, Mycroft, myself, and whatever person you know will tell you everything that happens so you don’t miss anything. You’ll be able to debate about the events, you won’t miss a single thing of what’s happening.

Even if I have my pride, and don’t want to admit I’m depressed about you being dead, I’ll tell you everything, I know you’d be here to tell me how to deal with the death of a person, the whole five stages of grief. You said them to me so much that I always have them in my head.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

I’d say that I’m at the last phase, but a lot of anger comes in it. I still wish it had been me, sometimes. It’s not fair it happened to Sherlock. I just hope he’s not too mad. If it had been someone else, he’d probably try to talk some sense into me, get me to tell more logical things.

If ghosts were real, I know he’d tell me to stop putting the blame on myself, even if I don’t even know why I blame myself, we don’t even know what caused him to jump from a damn building. And even if someone explains it, we won’t know if it’s real no matter how much they’ll prove it’s the truth.

The only person that can tell us that is gone.

So, unless we don’t find...a diary, or a note, proving it all, we won’t know.

The last thing we’ve heard from him was an apology, the ‘note’ he left behind was the call John received, which means the presumed note I mentioned doesn’t exist, only the call does.

After leaving his note, he fell from the roof and he died on impact, his pulse was long gone when he reached the floor, and it didn’t come back. I didn’t believe all of it happened, even when I heard John telling it, none of it seemed true...until I saw the death certificate.

The whole world stopped, and it still is frozen now. I wish the grave I’m standing in front of wasn’t real, I wish that my eyes were betraying me.

If only.

“Turns out you lied, Sherlock. You left.”

I hate you for what you did.

“You could have explained all of this a bit more. Even if I would have preferred not to, I would have prevented you from dying if you gave me a note...before.”

I wish I had known, I should have known. He didn’t have to die, he wasn’t supposed to die, certainly not like that.

Not now, that wasn’t his time. He was supposed to die of old age because of natural reasons, after all of us. Outlive us all.

Damn Sherlock Holmes wasn’t supposed to die at 35 years old. It's too young, too soon, Too much to bear.

“What am I supposed to do now, I mean- what are we all supposed to do? None of us can replace you, we’ll take twice the amount of time you barely took to resolve cases on our own, you left us in a really bad situation, you know that? It’s not going to be the same if you’re not here with us.”

And I miss you like a little kid.

“You could have made us take classes to become a close version of you, at least. I’m saying ‘close’ because no one will ever be like you. Not even that detective that had 30 years of experience, he wasn’t even close, really. I’d say he looked like a newbie, next to you.”

I even started to lose the habit of calling him when he’s not directly on the field and I hate this. I’ve only known him for a couple of years, and yet, he’s going to be ironed in my mind for a lifetime.

That man, I swear.

He didn’t think that sticking so close to us, getting to know us, sharing things about him would affect us so badly now that he’s gone. Real gone.

It hurts to say that, I wish I could just pretend he wasn’t gone, but that’s not really...healthy? It’s not really healthy in the way that if I pretend he’s still there- while he’s six feet under ground would drive me crazy, it’d completely destroy the whole ‘acceptance phase’ I’ve been working on. He’s dead, and there’s nothing we can do to bring him back.

That’s what my brain has to acknowledge, pretending he’s alive wouldn’t do any good.

Sometimes life gets to an end, and we have to accept that. I know that Sherlock, his brother and even John wouldn’t want to see me like this- ignoring reality, building a fake world to protect me from the real one.

Hurting sucks. Getting reminded that I won’t be seeing him anymore sucks, but everything sucks in life, and that’s what happens when you live. You can’t have a perfect happy life with all the shitty problems, that doesn’t exist.

But even if this sucks, I also get to remember all of the great things Sherlock has accomplished, the hundreds of memories we’ve made all together, whatever makes me happy- but there’s still a lot of hurt to go through before being able to think about them without crying because I miss them.

I wish that could be happening right now, I must have filled an entire bottle of water with all my tears. It’s even worse when that happens at 2am after you wake up from a dream about them.

Speaking of dreams, I don’t think I’ve ever had so many dreams with him compared to when he was alive. It’s as if he's haunting me, and even if I like him, I’d wish he wouldn’t do that so often, a little peace and quiet would be nice, even if I don’t want that to stop.

I’m afraid I’ll forget Sherlock if I stop thinking about him, block the memories to prevent me from the hurt that comes with it. I don’t want that to happen, he doesn’t deserve to have his legacy ignored because of my stupid feelings that hurt, he deserves to have his legacy remembered, discussed about, shared, not to have it trapped in newspapers, or in a corner of my head.

I like to imagine him being proud when I do that, even if I wouldn’t have known he was. He wasn’t the expressive kind, but he liked to show he was proud of you through a facial expression, a word, whatever could be ‘decrypted’. He wasn’t as cold as people saw him, he was extremely kind, even if he was broken in millions of pieces inside.

But yet, he overcame everything and came back even stronger. Every single time. He was amazing in so many ways, and that’s why I wish I could be like him.

So much.

I sighed, adjusting the grip I had on my umbrella, as I squatted down in front of his grave. “Did you know we went through your closet yesterday? There’s really not a lot, your clothes are so...similar. We can easily buy the same to be ‘like you’. But I don’t want to touch them, they’re kind of like precious pieces you can find in a museum.”

I hope he doesn’t think I’m crazy because of that.

“And...yeah, we went through your place because we can’t bring ourselves to sell it, I don’t want someone else to live in there and ruin it with their own belongings. But at the same time, living in it would be weird, I don’t know. I can’t find an explanation, just that it’s weird, living in the apartment of a dead person. Kinda creepy.” I explained, looking up from my umbrella as I realized the rain had gone down, letting a few rays of a ‘somehow’ sun. “Look, the sun listened to me. It’s coming up so I can give my emotional speech full of hope.” I sighed. “I don’t...I don’t even know what to say anymore. Kind of ironic as I always have something to say.”

I actually kind of know, but I don’t want to say it.

He’s gone. No miracle will bring him back, but I’ve kept hearing John saying it, I heard him last time we came; and even though I can’t bring myself to say that, I want to so badly. That’s all I’ve been wanting to happen since you died, I don’t want anything else and I don’t care about love anymore even if you always wanted me to be happy.

You’re what made me happy, you were the definition of love. Maybe what I’ve been feeling was that but I never brought myself to admit it.

I have loved you since the first day, but you always said that whoever fell in love with you should find better as you considered yourself a forever loner, unable to feel and give love, but I know you were capable of it, if you had tried, I believed you could have done it.

“Look at me, in front of your grave, exposing the feelings I’ll never have the answer to, I don’t even know if you liked me back. You really took all your secrets to your grave, huh? What a selfish prick, you could’ve shared that, at least.” I complained.

I don’t think I’ve ever known someone that hid so much stuff, he really was a whole mystery to himself, that man.

We can’t even solve what caused you to commit suicide, we’ll probably never solve it. You were the only one that knew why, and yet he can’t just pull a miracle and live again for a few minutes as a zombie to explain. That would be of great help, even if I’d prefer he’d live again.

That’d be an awesome miracle, even better than what happens at Christmas.

“Can you do that for me, though?”

Just that, I won’t ask for anything else.

“Just one more miracle, Sherlock, for us.” I said, putting my hand on the polished surface. “...don't be dead.”

It’s too easy, you can’t be dead, Nothing can kill you. I know John, and a shit ton of people saw you fall, but...let me believe all of that isn’t true.

Just a fake accident, Do that for us. Please. We need you more than you can ever imagine, you were so important to us, you were family.

A reason to fight for, to live for.

“Don’t be, please.” I pleaded, as I got up from the ground. “I uh...I’ll be back whenever I can, okay? Work’s been crazy since you’re gone, it’s incredible. I don’t know if it’s because we don’t have your help, or because it’s always been like that.”

Probably a mix of the two, I don’t really know, it’s been complicated to think properly these days. Sherlock would be the one to help with that, usually.

“I’ll have to ask someone else, I guess.”

I still haven’t found this ‘someone else’, by the way, It’s been two years, I know. But I still haven’t found someone that can help me the way he used to.

He still remains unique after all this time.

“I’ll be on my way, then. You’re awfully quiet today, guess you’re not in the mood, so I’ll go.”

I wish I still didn’t have to say goodbye, but this is the only thing I can say when I leave.

The weather had even gotten better, as if it only rained to have a full dramatic effect, there was only wind, which didn’t seem to announce a storm, for now. The sound of the leaves being crushed by my feet as I walked was to be heard, as no other sounds were around, it was very quiet today.

The silence did feel weird, I never liked it.

Not when it caused me to think of…

“Got time to spare for me?”

...him.

“Sherlock.”

++

|Chapter Two|

[greaterstokesawareness]

Stokes Song Wishlist

DISCLAIMER: I have no technical musical knowledge beyond just being a massive fan of music. I can't read music, I don't play an instrument or sing, I have no idea how to tell anything about key or pitch by ear or what any of the terms mean without looking them up. So, like if any of these don't make sense because of some musical technicality ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm including links to the Stokes performance if he's sung it but there's no good quality video/recording, otherwise the links are to the version of the song that gave me the idea.

Send me your recs and ideas, I'll keep updating and sharing. Last update: 12/4/24.

"What'll I Do" (x) the link is to the Nat King Cole version, but I just heard this song on the British Cop show called Ridley. He's a retired cop that owns a jazz club and moonlights as a singer there. This might seem an outlandish place to find a Stokes song, but seeing that I just saw the actor Adrian Dunbar in a trailer for a filmed stage version of Kiss Me Kate ! I think it's okay :)

"La Vie En Rose" (x): submitted by PC :)

"The Raven" by Potliquor (x) ok hear me out guys: I found this song when I was making a fanmix years ago for the Doctor Who episode "Face the Raven," I know that is too much information, but I just want you to know how big of a nerd I am. Also, my grandmother used to just randomly start dramatically reciting Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" and once she started she would just do the whole thing, so I guess being a big nerd runs in the family. Anyway, this song is so dramatic™ I feel like I can easily picture it having a Broadway arrangement complete with Stokes song-acting.

“I Am What I Am” from La Cage Aux Folles (x) (x) Listen I’m still sort of a Broadway newbie and I just became aware of this song, but I deeply need to hear Stokes to sing this with his song-acting

"Cheering for Me Now" from New York, New York/Hamildrop (x) (x) always loved this song since it came out as a Hamildrop, but i just saw this show on Broadway (plot twist: Stokes was actually in the audience the night we attended !) and I can't stop imagining him singing it :))

“First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” (x) Johnny Cash edition. Yes, that link is to a Random Harvest fan vid because it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, go watch that movie lads

"Waters of March" (x) update: I just got to see him sing this at 54 Below, and it just made me want a high quality album version so much more, but enjoy the video I took <3

"I've Never Been in Love Before" from Guys and Dolls (x)

"You'll Never Walk Alone" from Carousel (x)

"The Way You Look Tonight" (x) (x)

"Dancing in the Dark" from The Band Wagon (x) (x)

"Dream" from Daddy Long Legs (x)

Okay, how about any or all of the Fred Astaire/Oscar Peterson collaboration album The Astaire Story (x)

Any/all of the songs in this medley from one of his 54Below Diamond Series shows: "The Very Thought of You," "Embraceable You," "They Can't Take That Away From Me" (x)

“Nevertheless” from Three Little Words (x)

"I've Got to Find a Reason" and "Her Face" from Carnival (x) (x)

"Goodnight My Someone" from The Music Man (x) (x): I can totally picture Stokes singing this all Prof-Harold-Hill-grows-a-conscience-like

"I'm Beginning to See the Light" and "Lush Life" (x) (x): Stokes sang these at Boston Pops in June 2022

"Sky Blue and Black" (x) (x) (x) and "Love Needs a Heart" (x) (x) by Jackson Browne

"Little Willow" (x): submitted by PC :)

“Nature Boy” (x) (x)

“Over the Rainbow” with the intro (x) (x)

"As Time Goes By" (x)

"September Song" (x) this Platters version soars a little more

"You Don't Know Me" (x)

"Two Little Men in a Flying Saucer" (x): it's just got those Wizard Every Day vibes what can I say

and maybe like ALL the Christmas songs but especially this song: (my grandmother used to sing us this song called "Christmas Chimes" that she told us a boy at her grammar school in New Haven wrote for the Christmas pageant back in the 30s or 40s. It's so pretty and I've never ever heard it anywhere else. It's sort of like 'The Christmas Song'-type about home and memories. I have a video of her singing it ❤ and if you are actual Brian Stokes Mitchell you can have it lol)

[lonelyfujoshi]

Errink

Ink left again. He left Error all alone again and Error wasn't happy.

Error was in the living room watching his favorite series. Crying his nonexistent eyes out.

"Asgorooo!" He yelled, reaching for the TV screen when the scene of Asgoro having a heart attack played.

The pillow he clutched in his arms was wet with tears. Looking at him was laughable. Seeing the former destroyer cry easily like this.

In all honesty, the film wasn't the only thing he was crying about. He just decided to watch Undernovela to express his emotions while Ink was away.

Ahh, yes. Ink, the God of Creation.

He and Error had been dating for six years now. Almost seven. Two weeks from now will be their anniversary and Error couldn't help but be nervous of that.

Why?

He's been thinking that Ink is loosing interest in him. Error is scared.

He loved Ink with all of his life. He gave up destroying for the God of creation. He left the anti-void to live in their house for him. He tried doing good things out of his character for him.

He just loved Ink dearly.

And it all started ten years ago during Giftmas.

It was a special holiday for all monsters in the multiverse and the light and dark side has an untold treaty that no fight or attacks during this holiday.

No one established the rule, no one wrote it, no one spoke about it. It was just there. Monsters understanding the importance of the holiday.

Error sat on the cliff of Outertale where the stars shone to its brightest. His glasses on with his new galaxy scarf.

He sat there, enjoying the silence even when you can still hear the distant jingle in the town.

And Ink appeared.

Error scowled when the creator made his way to where he sat. He glared at Ink.

The creator however ignored the mean glare telling him to fuck off and sat down beside Error with a large grin. To close for the black skeleton's liking.

"What in the hell you doing here skittles?" Error grumbled harshly.

"Nothing much glitchy~. Just wanted to see the stars in this lovely night."

"Then go sit somewhere else. Don't ruin my night."

The smaller skeleton summoned his strings and began to play with it. Waiting for Ink's retort but it never came.

He looked up to see Ink staring at him with a thoughtful expression.

"... Nah." He finally said and Error wanted to hit the Ink blob with the brush he always had.

"But you know Error, tonight's Giftmas. I've given every monster I've encountered a gift to be traditional." Ink continued, looking up the sky.

Error glared at the string that somehow became tangled in his fingers and mumbled stuff like; "Who the hell asked?", "I don't give a fuck.", "Go do more of that and leave me alone."

Ink ignored his rude comments and summoned a window to his subspace. "So I thought... maybe I should give you a gift too."

"Hah! Did you really think that I'd want a gift from you?"

Again he was ignored as Ink continued to look for something in his subspace.

Error's socket twitched with annoyance. Watching Ink's body halfway through the window portal already, digging deeper into his pile of garbage as Error liked to call it.

The dark skeleton was about to push the lighter skeleton into wherever the window led because of his annoyance but Ink pulled back with a victorious laugh.

"Found it!"

Before Error could react, Ink placed the thing he got in front of the destroyer with a great big smile in his handsome face.

Error stared at it... Ink waiting for his reaction patiently.

In front of them was a pair of slippers. Red fluffy slippers that hugged your feet like socks and it had strings on the hole to tighten the hold if needed.

"Really?" Was all that Error could say. He didn't know what to feel about it. Ink, his supposedly mortal enemy, had just given him a 'gift' for some reason.

A pair of slippers no less. Error could tell that these were top quality and made for comfort. And how he loves comfortable things. The little sparkle in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by Ink.

"Well go on! Try it!" Ink encouraged.

Error grumbled but complied nonetheless. He threw his strings away carelessly and grabbed the red slippers, put it on and stilled.

"Ehh? What do you think?"

The darker ignored Ink's teasing tone and wiggled his toes.

"It's okay I guess." He said.

And that was a fucking lie.

'Oh my GOD! THEY ARE SO COMFORTABLE! I'M IN LOVE!' He screamed in his mind.

Unknown to him, the creator could see his softened look and the brightening of his eyes. The destroyer even unconsciously smiled.

Error looked up to see Ink staring at him with another one of those unreadable look.

"What?" He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Don't tell me you expect something in return cuz I ain't giving you anything. And you can't take these back!" He hissed.

Blinking, as if snapping out of trance, Ink made a confused noise before laughing.

"What the fuck? What is it rainbow asshole?!"

"Hahahaha haha.. hahhh... I-It's nothing Error. I just realized something."

"Tell me what is it."

"I like your smile."

Even with his fucked up memory, Error remembered this.

He remembered that the next day after that night, he anonymously sent Ink a puppet version of the creator. Ink soon found out it was from him.

Since then the lighter skeleton never initiated a fight. He acted all buddy buddy with Error which pissed off the darker to no end. It frustrated him greater than his frustration with the 90's parasite.

Ink messed with his emotions. The creator popped up in his mind in random times that he thought he was finally becoming insane. He thought he was.

Three giftmas holidays passed and Ink surprised Error with a confession. The glitch outright crashed the moment the words that Ink said, I like you, was processed by his 'brain'.

Error fled the moment he came to, in Ink's arms. He thought he was gonna die because of how loud his soul pounded. It actually hurt his ribs.

For a month he couldn't stop thinking of Ink and he didn't even realize ha had fallen for the creator. He also locked himself in the anti-void. Time passed and he decided to go out and destroy. Maybe to let some steam out.

Ink was there. Wherever he go, Ink was always there, wooing him.

Every sanses and their counterpart in every universe knew about Ink chasing Error, courting the destroyer, asking for his love.

Ink was very sweet in those times. Always giving Error presents even when the glitch thought it was weird because it's not even Giftmas.

The next giftmas came and Ink knelt in front of Error. They were surrounded by the bright stars of Outertale.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Ink said and Error was looking sick at how blue his face was.

His soul pounding. Emotions overflowing even though he was extremely confused with himself. He didn't know what he is feeling or what he was supposed to feel but everything felt right.

Even his inner voice telling him to say yes. 'It's not like people are lining up to hang with me anyway.' Was there as an excuse.

"Fine."

He never regretted agreeing.

Now though, Error was really worried.

It's because of the event that happened two weeks ago.

Since Error lived in the same house as Ink, the taller had always made time for him. His schedule was simple enough.

Leave for work in the council every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Leave the house by nine am and come back at around seven pm. Sunday is their special day as they usually go on dates.

Error usually stays in the house or visit Blue while Ink is away. Other times he goes AU hopping and going to Nightmare's castle.

Until this peaceful cycle was disturbed.

"Where are you going?" Error asked softly. He just woke up from his nap on the couch and he was rubbing on his sockets to help him wake quicker.

Ink was putting on his scarf and fixing his shoes by the mirror making Error confused.

"I'm just going on a meeting babe." Ink simply said with a smile.

"But... it's Thursday."

"Yeah, I just got called. Said it was an emergency."

After seeing the worried look on Error's face, Ink went up to the smalled and kissed his lover's face.

"Don't worry, it's nothing I can't handle. I'll be back before four so have lunch without me."

Error nods. "But wait." He holds Ink's arm.

"Let me prepare your lunch."

"No need babe. And I'm in a hurry so I gotta go." Ink said with a wave before he jumped into a portal.

By Saturday, Ink left again saying that he had to meet up with Reaper.

Error thought nothing of it because Reaper, being a God, sometimes meet up with other gods to see how the multivers is going.

And he thought, 'Oh, it's been a long time since I've been able to visit Geno. Maybe I should now that he's finally alone.'

Error planned to stay there for at least three hours so he got some chocolates, ketchup for Geno, blankets and puppets.

He puts them in a handmade bag before jumping into a portal.

"Hey, Geno! Thought it might be a good time to visit since Reaper-... Reaper?"

"Hey Error. What's up?" Geno greets him.

"Uh... the ceiling?" Error was still very confused that he couldn't come up with a proper reply.

"That would've been good pal, it's just that this place doesn't really have a ceiling." The cloaked skeleton beside Geno chuckled.

"Why are you here?" The dark skeleton asked.

"Job's slow today so I decided to visit my bea. What are you doing here?"

"Visiting Geno too."

"Great, the more the merrier." Reaper said unenthusiastically. Clearly he wants some alone time with his 'boyfriend'. Well soon to be anyway.

"Uh heh, nice to see you again then, Error." Geno said awkwardly while Error stood there still.

"Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting with Ink?" The former destroyer finally asked.

"A meeting? Wha- Shit! We have a meeting?!" Reaper abruptly stood up, startling Geno.

"You forgot." His 'boyfriend' deadpanned.

"I didn't forget, I just didn't know." Reaper frowned.

"Uh maybe you should hurry, he left.. like an hour ago." Error said.

"Crap. I guess I'll see you later babe. Have fun with Error." Reaper left with a wave.

"Wow." Error and Geno said at the same time. They looked at eachother and laughed.

Half an hour later, there was a blanket fortress in the save screen. Two skeletons inside it, eating condiments and chocolates.

The 'screen' was blocked by Error's massive one way window portal and the watched Undernovela.

A portal opened and Error quickly lift the blanket up a little to see who it is.

It was Reaper.

"Oh hey Death, you finished your meeting with the creator?" Geno asked. He helped Error lift up the blanket.

"... Uh. No. I couldn't find Ink."

"WhAt?"

To be continued

[kemonododo]

Decided to rewatch the whole series after seeing the finale, here's my thoughts as they come along part 1

Razz tells Adora not to look for others to tell her what to do and asks her what she thinks. Adora decides she must fight the Horde. It's poetic that Adora gets so hung up on destiny and fulfilling her goal, when the final message she needed to learn was said in the third episode. Razz is the wisest of us all.

Angella repeats what she heard in the legends of She-Ra, notably that she is meant to "bring balance to Etheria". From Angella's perspective this seems like a good thing, but it's so much more sinister knowing that basically means "to turn the death star on".

Catra was pissed at Adora, but seemed willing to leave the Horde until Hordak elects her as Force Captain. This is the start of her conclusion that Adora was only holding her back, and so the decent of her madness. That little smirk kills me, because that face will shed a lot of tears from this point on.

Season 5 showed us what Adora's She-Ra looks like, without the First One's influence. It might be a bit blasphemous, but I think that reveal would have worked better if this early season She-Ra was the mini-skirt, cleavage design of the 80s. Have a bit of symbolism about societal beauty standards. Love the muscles though that part is perfect.

The first time Catra and Adora meet back up after their falling out is a little unremarkable, the wounds are still fresh and they're still angry at each other but I think both still don't understand how big this schism between them will be.

I just realized Entrapta's castle has a picture of a Tyrannosaurus rex with a unicorn horn and Pegasus wings. Is that what Mara's dragon was!? 😂

God I love Entrapta, even when I first watched this I was excited to see the purple Hatsune Miku in the intro. She always cared about people since the beginning, she just doesn't understand politics.

Castaspella and Angella were shipping Glimbow from the start lol.

The show gives us a full view of how Shadow Weaver's abuse affected Adora. Being constantly pressured to be the best and strongest at the threat of Catra's health has left Adora a jittering wreck. Call me sadistic, but I love that it wasn't resolved in this episode. Adora wins the battle against SW today, but all the way up to the series finale we see SW's dirty fingers clawing away at her conscious. It takes more than 20 minutes to escape a life of manipulation.

Princess Prom! This is when the show goes from a 7 to a 10. Not only the prom being a fun venue, but this is where Catra begins to get some agency. This is the first time she really feels like a main character, which is great because I love her more than anything. Also the first time we see Double Trouble and the Star sisters, which I guess are different from the Star Siblings in season 5? A bit of a continuity error.

Aww, Glimmer is jealous. I can relate to her fears of being pushed out, but the fact that she's pretty madly in love with him adds a whole new layer. Bow is right but he's being a bit insensitive here.

Let's just take a moment to appreciate how far we've come. Remember when this was the gayest thing in the show?

It's fun watching the princess alliance so early in their friendships, they obviously care enough to go with Adora on this mission to save Glimmer, but I love how annoyed and distracted they get with each other.

This episode is also really big for Catra, realizing she will never get Shadow Weaver's approval, that longing look at Adora, "this is not because I like you".

The Beacon is sandwiched between two great episodes that make it feel like filler, but a lot actually happens. We see more of Adora's insecurities, especially how she starts to take it out on herself when she runs into a problem out of her control. We got the formation of the super pal trio, a short lived group with an amazing dynamic. And we also have a huge moment with Angella that basically defines her entire character.

Entrapta's insecurities are revealed. She wants friends, she loves people, but they're complicated and hard and always seem to leave her. It's heartbreaking and something that comes to a head on Beast Island.

I love this scene with Catra and Shadow Weaver. It's clear she still loves her evil mom, and we see how SW has abandoned the idea of Adora for now and is now beginning to manipulate Catra. We also see another Catradora parallel, both of them tell straight to SW face that she has no power over them anymore, something we continue to see is not true.

Promise! 18 months later and it's still my favorite episode of the show. I like how it starts off with the anger they've been feeling up until now, but through the mind melting manipulation by skynet Light Hope, it's multiplied a thousand fold. Before this Catra was pissed at her friend, now Catra wants to murder the person she thinks destroyed her life. After this Catra isn't a cute tsundere, she's completely homicidal. She still loves Adora obviously, but Light Hope has corrupted that love into the most vitriol hate on the planet. It's wild to think they both love each other so much, and yet the abuse that have scarred them prevents that love from breaking free. This is the true moment where the show starts, this is where it became the best cartoon I have ever seen.

Also this is the only time since the first episode and Catra's redemption in season 5 where their chemistry is in full play. They just love each other so much, god I'm fucking tearing up again.

An important thing people forget about the Catradora dynamic is Catra's inferiority complex. She has been told since the day she was born that she is worthless, below Adora in every way. She loves and looks up to Adora, but her existing in Adora's shadow blackens that love. Which is why her joining the rebellion isn't a good ending for her. She needed time on her own, away from Adora, to carve out her own identity. It was her struggles as Force Captain that finally pushed her to start doing good, that realization that she is unhappy in that role. If she had left with Adora in episode 1, she would still be bitter and cruel and toxic, because she'd still be standing behind Adora.

Shadow Weaver's abuse goes both ways, as now Adora feels like she needs to protect Catra like a helpless kitten. That dynamic was not healthy, and it would not have lasted. Catradora can only exist now because they both accept each other as equals.

That final "you promise?", probably the most important words in the show. I've seen this episode a dozen times, but after seeing the finale the tears are running down my face again. Adora was the light of Catra's light, nothing mattered as long as Adora was there with her. She loved her so much. The Fright Zone, Shadow Weaver, her own insecurities, they all impacted Catra. But in that moment, them cuddling on their bunk, it didn't matter. Little did she know Adora loved her back just as much. Fuck I'm crying again.

Catra took that memory, tainted by Light Hope, and saw Adora as a monster. Someone who manipulated her like everyone else and abandoned her at the first opportunity. Someone who broke her most important promise, someone who broke her heart. Catra is probably the best written character in fiction, no I am not exaggerating.

It's a hard follow up after that episode, but the amazing juxtaposition of Entrapta and Light Hope telling the same story with different information is bone chilling and goosebumps giving.

Knowing the whole story of Mara, Light Hope's speeches are terrifying. Her manipulation makes Shadow Weaver look soft. Luckily we have an Alicorn to help, like all other abuse in the show it isn't over in a single dialog exchange, but Swift Wind is speaking the truths Adora needs to hear. The thing about Adora though is one of her main character flaws, she gives in to the doubt her abusers seed her. Her friends constantly tell her she has worth and deserves love, but she has it in her head that she must sacrifice herself for the greater good. That's another reason why Catradora works in the end, Catra helps bring out the selfishness she needs.

Battle of Brightmoon isn't a great finale, my time in the MLP fandom has soured me on "then all the friends came together and shot the villain with a rainbow" conclusion. Luckily, the show would knock the next three out of the park.

Catra starting the new season strong, I love the juxtaposition of the horde soldiers fearing her while the super pal trio doesn't. I love that little smirk, she thinks it's the first she wants yet we all know it's the later.

Frosta got a character change, I understand what they're doing where the other princesses are bringing her out of her shell, but it all happened off-screen so she just seems out of character. The little moment with her and Glimmer is great, and a little bit of forshadowing for Glimmer's queenly role.

Every Shadow Weaver and Catra interaction is fantastic, I love how SW gets so easily under her skin and how Catra pretends to brush it off. Those black tenticles still have a hold on the Kitty's heart.

Ties that Bind is a fantastic episode, especially seeing Catra's interactions with Bow and Glimmer. I love how this contrasts with the season 5 episode A shot in the Dark, here Catra is bullying the best friend squad with malice while the later has Glimmer and Bow playfully making fun of her with love.

Glimmer's actions here are also great forshadowing for her role as queen, especially how desperate she is to destroy the horde and how it affects her morals. Makes her decision to use the heart in season 4 very believable.

I love how Adora keeps referencing ghost stories she heard as a kid. I love the idea of her and Catra under the covers telling scary stories to each other until they'd both end up cuddling while insisting they aren't scared.

Entrapdak! Entrapta's love of science, complete lack of fear, and unending kindness can turn even a dictator cute. They have fantastic chemistry.

I love this little moment with Catra, Shadow Weaver correctly assumes that she's being pushed out and left behind by Hordak, and sure enough she finds Entrapta standing next to him in the lab she was almost killed just for stepping in. Her fears are repeating.

Ah! Goosebumps! The show is slowly moving to be more and more Sci-Fi, and that little shot of Mara's crashed ship with the fantastic music is just a hint to what's to come.

Roll With It is an absolutely adorable low stakes slice of life episode that shows how fun these characters are even when they aren't fighting a war. It's probably the funniest episode in the series, the 80s She-Ra segment is my favorite. There's also the wonderful moment of Adora's breakdown, the pressures of being the world's savior takes a toll on her.

White Out! One of my favorite episodes. The mostly self contained story, the new setting and outfits, great Super Pal Trio bonding, Scorpia being a lesbian, Sea Hawk, and the only time we see the corrupted She-Ra. It's a fantastic microcosm of the show itself, and it's really funny. The Scorpatra stuff is a bit sad knowing how it ends, but it is nice seeing how Scorpia can have a crush while still realizing the toxicity of her relationship later on.

Shadow Weaver's backstory and the biggest window into her head. She believes what she is doing is right, but her methods are full on psychotic, and she was power hungry from the start. I love her so much, she's so deliciously evil. The Eldritch horror that is the spell of obtainment is a treat, and SW's arrival at the Fright Zone is beautifully terrifying. This episode also has the best scenes with her and Catra, it's devastating to watch Catra continue to pine for SW's approval and how, after all this time, SW still only sees her as a tool.

Shadow Weaver is one of my favorite characters, literally every scene with her a amazing. "I can tell by how your voice turns shrill when you scream" what a bitch I love her. I also really like how you can tell Catra and Adora still love her, even after all this abuse. She's a monster, but she's also a mom, and both of those identities conflict in their heads.

Shadow Weaver's and Light Hope's reveal of Adora's origin is goosebumps giving. The revelation that there is a universe beyond Despondos is amazing, but I especially love Light Hope continuing to withhold information and effectively lie to Adora. Razz, Swift Wind, Angella, Catra, they all tell her to make her own decisions but this moment with Light Hope where she is told she doesn't have a choice is what Adora latches on to.

There's also the deal with Hordak, when Light Hope tells the story, she paints it as Hordak ripping the poor baby away from her family. We later learn that's wrong, Hordak saves Adora, he finds a tiny baby and even as a heartless destroyer he knows he can't leave her out there to die. He steals her away, but he does so from Light Hope, the original kidnapper. If Adora was raised by Light Hope, she probably would have fired the heart without question. The Horde was not a good environment to grow up in, but it was an important part in making her the hero the universe needed.

I love Hordak's monologue, the art style and music are fantastic and the whole thing is terrifying. To imagine the big bad horde of the show is just a tiny sliver of what is out there. It also shows Hordak's motivations, which don't excuse his actions but do explain them. This show does a fantastic job at letting us sympathize with the evil-doers, and that has only grown now that Wrong Hordak has shown what it's like to be disconnected from the hive-mind. Bonus points for explaining Imp's origin and showing how Entrapta is exactly the person that he needs right now.

Catra is being embarrassingly edgy here, but it is funny that she's talking about "lost it all" and she seems to think this is rock bottom, oh girl you are in for a ride awakening with how much farther you can fall.

Promise plays again as Adora has another break down. We finally see Mara, and as with everything to do with the First Ones it is chilling. I love this slowly unraveling storyline of Light Hope's true intentions. At this point it is clear she is not to be fully trusted, but we have yet to see how truly sinister her intentions are.

Catra, again, being one of the best characters ever written. She finds a minimum amount of happiness in the wastes, and immediately it all comes crashing down when her trauma resurfaces. That scene of the anger taking over is a masterpiece. I have said a million times that she'd never be truly happy in the wastes, and the later seasons confirm it, but it is heartbreaking to see how even the slightest hint of a smile is ripped off her face.

The Glimmer Angella arguments hurt, they're both right but it's sad to see them fight and how Angella takes Glimmer's advice while Glimmer doubles down on her faults.

Shadow Weaver back on her bullshit, manipulating teenagers to give her power. Noelle mentioned how she truly believes she's on the good side, and obviously she doesn't want the Horde to win, but you can't deny she has some selfish motivations behind recruiting Glimmer. That lust for power remains with her until the very end.

We see Adora getting to Entrapta here, people I think really didn't get their impressions of her right. Entrapta loves tech and science, and sometimes it blinds her, but she isn't immoral, she does care about the safety of her friends.

"You made me this way, and you get to be the good guy" "you couldn't wait to get away from here, from me. But you came back for Adora". You can see how SW's betrayal not only reaffirmed Catra's fears, but was probably just as much a force behind her decent into madness as Adora was.

There's also something beautiful about the symbolism of Shadow Weaver using her new victim like a battery to crush her old.

And Catra betrays Entrapta and Scorpia, this is officially the worst she gets, at this point her hatred of Adora is taking over her. We see more of it in season 4, but her desire to hurt Adora as much as Adora has hurt her causes her to crack like an egg. Scorpia's face says it all.

I love getting to see Catra and Adora in their element, completely in love with each other. None of the complexity of the world at large, just them two together. Even Shadow Weaver's approval of Catra, this is her dream world.

It's funny how Scorpia's first instinct upon seeing Catra is to hug her while her first reaction to Adora is to insult her. She has terrible judgement of character lol

Everyone's insistence that it's "perfect", watching the world shift and fall apart, the confusion, the panic, the show masterfully shows Adora's emotions in this mind-melding episode.

"Soon the two of us will be ruling Etheria together just like we always planned" "Is that what you really want, to rule the world?" "I mean, yeah, obviously. Isn't that what you want too?" God this little moment is perfect, it shows how much they're wavelengths differ. Catra focuses on the "together" while Adora focuses on the "rule the world". Like DT says later, Catra's heart was never truly in it. This thirst for power is just the world's most destructive coping mechanism.