#godost

[kikizoshi]

Godos Fluff Headcanons I Absolutely Adore

(...and some general lifestyle headcanons thrown in)

-Nikolai likes to cover Fyodor with his cloaks/capes sometimes when they hug (like in those long, rocking hugs). It gives him a feeling of comfort, like Fyodor's safe and nothing can hurt him. Fyodor likes it too; to him it feels like an extra layer of endearment and makes him feel safe, secure and loved (plus it's warm).

-Nikolai is one of the few people Fyodor trusts entirely with his ushanka. This isn't a small thing--he usually doesn't even like to let people touch it, but he even trusts Nikolai to spot clean it for him.

-Nikolai absolutely loves to take care of Fyodor, which works well, because Fyodor likes being taken care of. This extends to cooking (where Nikolai will often ask Fyodor to pick one new dish to try to go with whatever staple meal Nikolai's making that week), making him tea most days and keeping the berry preserves stocked up, and nursing Fyodor when he's sick.

Nikolai doesn't enjoy trying to get Fyodor to remember to eat, or sleep, or shower, sometimes, but he takes Fyodor's health even more seriously than his own most of the time, and so is usually trying out some new method to achieve at least one of these things.

-Nikolai worked as a stage actor before he took up terrorism, and practiced a lot at home. Fyodor would often watch his practicing, occasionally give feedback, and they might talk a bit about the story afterwards. This was a common before-dinner activity for them, which was mostly for fun, but also helped Fyodor get out of his work headspace and into his home headspace, and of course Fyodor's psychology-based feedback often helped Nikolai with his nuances in his delivery.

-Dinner is a very important together time for them. Both make a point of having dinner together as often as possible, so that they're sure to have time together to talk. Though late-night conversations are also common with them, there's always a chance of Fyodor being sucked back into work or Nikolai needing extra time to work something out/rehearsals or shows taking place at night, so they make dinner the designated time together. Also, since their dinner is usually a dish Nikolai made, Nikolai likes to share the food with Fyodor, and Fyodor likes to appreciate the shared food with Nikolai.

-Depending on how late Nikolai's shows ran while he was in a play and what came after, they may have dinner together as late as 1 or 2 in the morning, but still, they always ate together (Fyodor was almost never ready to go to sleep by then anyway, which I'm sure helped, but the idea that he shared his usually alone-time with Nikolai is sweet to me).

-Regarding the dishes: generally the system is that Nikolai cooks and Fyodor cleans. The everyday dishes are usually washed by Fyodor, since he goes to sleep much later than Nikolai and often has several cups of tea and snacks long after Nikolai's gone to bed. Nikolai puts away the clean dishes in the morning, long before Fyodor wakes up.

-Regarding their sleep schedules: Nikolai (according to himself) tends to find his moods and general thought process annoyingly mercurial if he ends up more than an hour off his sleep cycle, and so is fairly regular with going to sleep around 23-24 and getting up around 6-7 (giving up his precious productive night hours was hard on him--the time past 1-ish when your brain lets you be creative--but he soon learned to replace them with alcohol). This of course can be completely thrown out of balance when he has rehearsals/shows, but the rest of the year, he sticks to it religiously.

Fyodor has no such trouble with moods and, like Nikolai, finds his best hours to be in the early morning. So, he generally goes to bed around 3-5 and wakes up at 11. Unlike Nikolai--whose body, like a clock, always keeps him asleep for exactly eight hours--Fyodor relies on alarms and always gets up at 11, unless he has somewhere to be earlier. He doesn't generally go to bed earlier though, so he just tends to be (more) tired on those days.

-Fyodor's usually tired (either from his sleep schedule, physical ailments, or both), and his energy levels tend to range from moderate to low. At first this irritated Nikolai for a bit, I think, but he eventually came to learn what Fyodor's low-energy emotes meant (which can look kind of funny when Nikolai reacts to an emotion that seemingly isn't being expressed).

-Nikolai loves swing dancing, but Fyodor doesn't usually have the stamina for it. So instead, when the dancing itch arrives, they waltz or do some slower dance with a bit of verve. Dancing's difficult in the narrow living room, but they manage (and, when Nikolai's brother and sister-in-law come over, he swing dances with them, which Fyodor enjoys watching).

-There's a park a few roads down from where they live, and they often in the late spring and early summer enjoy playing violin and cello together out in the greenery. Nikolai especially loves when the birds twitter while they're playing.

-Speaking of birds, Nikolai also loves going out with Fyodor and pigeon-spotting. Sometimes he'll take a bag of breadcrumbs to sprinkle for the birds they come by. He does this alone too, but enjoys sharing this activity with Fyodor.

-Nikolai also, when he has more free time, enjoys bird-watching. He keeps a journal of the different birds he sees, how many, etc. When he gets up at about 6, they're really active, and sometimes he'll luxuriate in an hour of peaceful bird-watching and documentation from the kitchen window. (Unfortunately, the window view is onto the street, so he doesn't see as many as he would in a park or garden, but he still sees enough to be somewhat satisfied.)

Fyodor isn't very interested in birds in and of themselves, but he loves listening to Nikolai's enthusiasm, love for and musings about the little creatures, and so will often ask about Nikolai's recent sightings when he knows Nikolai's been bird-watching.

-Fyodor loves to use terms of endearment. 'My Dove' and 'Dear' are his favourites outside of 'Kolya' (and its variants). Nikolai likes to take inspiration from the moment to make pet names, so may say something like 'My Little Red-Nose' (when Fyodor's sick) or 'Drowned Rat' (when Fyodor's wet and upset about it) (I imagine most of them would be animal or food related, but my imagination has a rough time keeping up with Nikolai's), as well as 'Fedya' (and its variants). He might also call Fyodor 'Fedka' if he's feeling derisive enough, though I can't imagine Fyodor would ever call Nikolai 'Kolka'.

-One thing Nikolai loves about Fyodor is that, when Nikolai gets into one of his black moods, where he can't seem to enjoy or appreciate anything, and, in general, just wants to sink into nothingness, Fyodor understands and doesn't judge him, nor expect more. Fyodor will usually take up the cooking (which... his food is usually bland and tasteless, but neither care all that much in those times), keeps the lights dimmer/curtains drawn, and most of all lets Nikolai come to him.

He also doesn't complain about lack of hugs, though they're very important to him. Nikolai finds hugs disturbing in a black mood, because he can't feel anything from them, and so they just distress him. It is harder on Fyodor than I think he usually admits to himself though, not being able to hug or pet or really comfort at all his friend who's in so much pain.

-Fyodor doesn't like being around drunk people, but Nikolai often relies on alcohol to get him into the right headspace to work. To compromise, Nikolai tries not to get more than tipsy around Fyodor, generally going for lightly buzzed, and usually does it while Fyodor's working. (Though this does go out the window sometimes if Nikolai wants badly enough to numb his emotions.)

-Fyodor gets miserably sick relatively frequently (~3-4 times a year), often with the changing of the seasons, which usually knocks him out for a solid two weeks. Nikolai hovers and cares for him with all the terrified devotion of a mother whose baby suffers from scarlet fever. The sheer nervous energy emitted from Nikolai tends to overwhelm and tire Fyodor out, but he still finds Nikolai being there to take care of and be with him to be more comforting than if he was alone (him having to comfort Nikolai tires him out, but also helps him feel more at peace). (Occasionally, maybe a little less than once a year, Fyodor will have a seizure bad enough to keep him in bed for a few days, and the dynamic's about the same as when he's sick.)

-A few times, Nikolai kept vigil over Fyodor's sick body (the first time being after a particularly bad seizure left Fyodor bedridden for five days, a few months into their friendship). It… Well, let's just say it never ended well for Nikolai. Fyodor eventually managed to calm Nikolai down enough about his frailty to get him to compromise on sleeping close together (though Fyodor first tried sending Nikolai away, Nikolai worked himself into an even bigger panic when he couldn't see how Fyodor was doing).

-Nikolai is absolutely terrified of doctors. He's also a borderline hypochondriac. Thankfully, Nikolai's aggressively healthy (except for some minor stomach issues and some major mental issues), so this isn't often a problem. However, the few times it was, and Fyodor genuinely needed Nikolai to go to a doctor, it always took a very long and drawn-out discussion to convince Nikolai that the doctors weren't going to torture him to death (Fyodor never learned what exactly Nikolai was afraid of, but it seemed something along the lines of what you'd expect from a BCE Chinese torture chamber, or Yosano's clinic).

-Needless to say, Fyodor's spent many a night listening to Nikolai's fears and explaining why they're likely not one of The Horrors. He might have gotten tired of it, except Nikolai's fears were usually so creative and obscure that Fyodor actually often found them fascinating.

[kikizoshi]

someday i will write a more well-researched and more detailed post than this one but i gotta jot this thought down before i forget abt it: Nikolai's relationship to Fyodor is actually an impediment to his freedom, rather than our poor clown being in denial and having attachment issues, and this can be philosophically justified.

What he felt for Fyodor isn't just friendship or even love. It is something more special, more exclusive, the kind of connection you wouldn't expect to be a common occurrence among ppl. It's as intimate as a person's connection to his own death, because a) it involves no other ppl ("only dos-kun understands") b) it is bound to happen, like a prophecy, regardless of one's own will and c) it can hardly be removed from one's life and personality (Nikolai's whole character is set up as an antithesis to Fyodor, and the driving force behind his actions in the current manga is his stubborn wish to get rid of this connection).

On the matter of our own death, none of us has a say, right? We can't decide whether, where, how or when we would die. This is the case with Nikolai's "feelings" for Fyodor. It's inevitable, it's fatal, and it took away his mastery of his own mind, just as death made slaves of us all.

The song Fyodor played on his cello is called the Bird of Death. This intimate connection to Fyodor is the end of Nikolai's spiritual immortality.

Nikolai created a paradox to satisfy his mortal desire to save the very thing that chains him down - just as that brothers karamazov quote says that humanity would willingly give up freedom to appease their conscience. By annoucing he would ultimately kill Fyodor, Nikolai was trying to kill something that to him, was inavoidable and restraining as Death. Thus is the only way he could become free.

I also have tons of stuff to say abt their respective characterization and this time I'm almost sure it's a conscious or cultural choice on asagiri's side or just as anime archetypes in general but let's save that for another post.

[justspookygamer]

here's some food for my fyogol fellas, a meme ❤️

[i-s99-r9d]

– I will kiss it now. I will bite it with my teeth as one bites a ripe fruit. Yes, I will kiss thy mouth, Theodore. [A redraw of Takato Yamamoto`s artwork – "John the Baptist and Salomé"]

[grlffithsgay]

Today i offer you this

[kikizoshi]

I love and agree with your take completely, and would like to add some of my thoughts:

The strange (though I suppose somewhat interesting) part of this theory that Fyodor would let Nikolai kill him is that, well... even if Fyodor didn't have this whole "I want to use a Book to end Ability Users" thing, why would he let Nikolai kill him?

At no point (at least, that I recall) does he say that killing others frees or liberates the soul. He does say, after killing Ace, something like, "Thinking is a crime; breathing is a crime. He has been freed from all of that." He says similar things regarding Karma's and that little girl's death too.

But this leads me to believe that Fyodor thinks of death as liberation, not murder. I'm not sure he even classifies what he himself does as murder, tbh.

And so, in that context, Fyodor letting Nikolai kill himself makes sense. Because in killing himself, Nikolai would be freeing himself from the sin of mortality (yes, I know this is actively against Russian Orthodox teachings around suicide, but I'm going more off of what I've seen Asagiri characterise Fyodor's faith as). But Nikolai killing Fyodor would accomplish nothing, in Fyodor's eyes. I genuinely don't believe he would agree with Nikolai, that killing him would make Nikolai free in any way, spiritually or physically or mentally.

And in regards to the other very important part, I don't think Fyodor would be willing to die for that. Granted, I don't think he fears death much or at all, and may not even place much value in his life outside of what he can do for others. But, I still don't think he'd just let Nikolai kill him to see if that frees Nikolai.

I certainly don't think he'd be like, "Ah, how splendid, you killed me," which is what I see most often portrayed. If anything, I think he'd be just as pissed as he was when Dazai flooded the room. Nikolai is closer to him, sure, but he still went and made the decision to end Fyodor's life, alone, without consulting Fyodor about it whatsoever.

Fyodor's odd, and may not place much value in his own life or have fear around losing it, but I still think he'd be indignant and even angry that Nikolai decided to end Fyodor's potential of doing anything with his life, all for the sake of a theory Fyodor himself doesn't even believe in.

So, personally, I don't believe Fyodor would let Nikolai kill him, and I don't think he'd be gung-ho about it if Nikolai managed to in spite of him.

(Also, all this was under the assumption that they're long-time close friends. If we're going by canon, the answer is just unequivocally no.)

hiii! i wanted to ask you something in regards to fyolai. i came across a post that theorized fyo might let niko kill him bc he wants his friend to be free and that that is why he was willing to let him die. do you think that might actually happen in the next chap with them?? i love your opinions, they seem so practical and honest for some reason lol

Hello there, and thank you for your interests in my opinions, it means the world to me.

Now that is an interesting take but… ah, I will have to disagree.

I believe Fyodor to be a rather complicated man. He is good, as in, his goals have some noble motive behind them (not really) and I do believe that with the people he may grow to care about, he will cherish deeply. But, overall, in all sincerity, Fyodor is so selfless he becomes completely egotistical. His main purpose in life is not love or friendship, but the eradication of sin upon this world. Namely that of ability users. This is all that is important to him, and, as of currently, nothing else matters. Not even his own life.

Which brings about the question: Then? Why not give his life away for his friend?

Answer: He may feel a tinge of regard for the clown, but it will not go that far.

Fyodor will only die if it means achieving the goal, be that after receiving the book or in means to get it (most definitely the former). He does not care what happens to him in regards to his goal. But to die for someone else’s sake? Without having even reached the book? Oh no. He cannot have that. At all.

As for letting Nikolai die out of care… He may have found his goal interesting, beautiful, admirable even. But the main reason I can see him going along with it is because it would further his plans. I don’t think there was much of the emotional factor in there. However, it is arguable that he let Nikolai die because he might have possibly been an “obstacle” of sorts. Let’s say Fyodor did manage to grow an attachment to the clown. He may have feared this attachment and found that Nikolai’s death was a good way to sever it. The pros would outweigh the cons. That is the key essence of how Fyodor thinks, I believe. Super logical.

They just go well together. It��s their dynamic. They’re horrible friends to each other.

[darkydv]

I’M SO OBSESSED WITH THIS TWO AHHHHHH 

i love this russian boyfriends uwu

[catatonic-bug]

Happy birthday to the prettiest rat, Fyodor!!!! 💜💛💜💛

[ivorycandy]

rkgk. originally posted on nikolai's bday ♡

please don't use/repost.

[ao3feed-skk]

by KawaiiKuma

Nikolai find out Fyodor's secret and they bond.

Words: 2118, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 6 of Godost week 2020

Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Relationships: Fyodor Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Additional Tags: Fluff, neko, Fyodor is a Neko, Chuuya is a Neko, Falling In Love, it's in original universe but with nekos, godost_week_2020, Nikolai and Chuuya are drinking buddies

[kikizoshi]

I know I wasn’t tagged, but this looks like fun, so here I go (also, just to be clear, the only ship I’m applying this to is GoDos, and even then it’s iffy):

Also, I’d like to tag @fyowyn-writes​ and @wildnya​, since I’m genuinely curious about their answers.

(If anyone’s more curious, the way I applied them is, as said, only for GoDost, but it’s also only in the realm of what I think would make for a good plot given the general average of quality that comes with each genre. Really, I think any of them can be S tier and any can be D tier, it just depends on the writer. But some categories tend to have more S or D tier than others, as well as offer more possibilities (or have been done well in the past) for this particular ship. Likewise, there are some things here that would go great in a segment of a fic, but not as the sole focus, and so those things can be bumped down as a result. That said, I truly believe that everything in D tier is... incredibly difficult, shall we say, to do well. So, those are the perameters I went by.)

Tagged by @mikotofubar​!! This was fun :D Tagging uhhh @lurkerwithcomputer​ and @mercyandmagic​ and anyone else who wants to do this!

Maker here.

[kikizoshi]

Nikolai and Fyodor's dynamic is actually so funny, because it's just like Kirillov took on some of Rogozhin's less-favourable qualities and ended up falling in love with an Alyosha-ified Raskolnikov.

[i-s99-r9d]

DoA in a nutshell

[grlffithsgay]

Ive been obsessed with fyolai/godost lately so here: I made a playlist

[kikizoshi]

Utterly unasked-for Russian Godos recommendations:

Anything by Tino_Fxi, particularly Так себе сказка, Залечь на дно в Баден-Бадене, Прочь, and Тихие дни в Оксфорде.

Sofia_Verrner is great too, particularly Песнь скрипки под звездным небом and Черный чай с лимоном. The former tugged my heart in so many ways I was breathless at the end, and the latter provided a warm comfort to let me settle afterwards. An absolutely lovely pair of fics, and I highly recommend reading them together, in that order.

Even if you can't read Russian yet, I urge anyone to use a translator. Though I'm sure the full beauty is greatly obscured, they're still wonderful reads even like that.

So much fyolai and ranpoe content in Russian...i have such a mighty need to learn this beautiful language

[filo-academia]

Thank you for the tag! ✨

3 SHIPS:

1. FyoGol/GoDost

2. SherLiam

3. And apparently I don't have a third. Just those two for now.

Last Song: Shinkai by Eve

Currently watching: Wolfwalkers

Tagging @the-wholesome-poe @kyrxchi-writes @cocoa-sssscraps @karendazai @daephila and anyone who wants to do this!

thank you @beinggaydoincrime 💕

Rules: Tag 9 people who you want to know better/catch up with and then answer these questions.

3 SHIPS:

Wangxian

Xuexiao

Zhuiyi

LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: Numb - Rihanna

CURRENTLY WATCHING: HSK 1 Vocabulary & Sentences

@goldencorecrunches @huans @theyilinglaozus @aghostagator @lijuyao @manhasetardis