#godfuck i am mad

[effervescentdragon]

This is gonna be a rant bcs i havent done one in a while, it went feom too hot to too cold way too quickly, i havent fought with anyone in a while and im itching for it, and im sick an tired of certain things im seeing popping up recently despite there being many, many posts about it that summarize it all very succintly amd more eloquently than im about to, but fuck it im adding mine too.

Two main points. Numero uno.

You are not entitled to fandom spaces being catered to you.

Ive seen younger fans do this all the time, and i could go very ad hominem about what i think of youmger generations and what kind of internet experiences and spaces they've been raised in, but i wont. I will say that predictive algorithms and that scourge on the web tiktok have done irreparable damage to a whole genrration that expects content to just be presented to them on silver plates without them having to move their thumbs even a bit to search for what they want, alongside erasing what little critical thinking and reading skills theyve already somewhat had.

But thats not the point of this rant. My main problem here is when someone comes into a space, lets take an example of a discord server, and then starts whining how "all these older people are here too".

Firstly, fuck off. And i say this most empathetically - if something is not to your liking, literally just leave. Fuck off. Nobody wants you here. Go find a place that caters to your needs better instead of expecting this already existing space to bow down amd change to suit your needs. Thats not hkw this works, not how life works, not how anything works. Your entitlement is unfounded, has no geounds, is childish and frankly extremely disgusting. Go make your own fucking space then, one that you can tailor to your needs instead of expecting the space to warp to suit you. You are nothing in this context, and you are entitled to nothing, except basic rules of polite conduct that ar3 expected of everyone by social contract of interacting with other people in a space.

Point numero dos.

Fuck your ageism and fuck your idiotic assumption that there is an arbitrary age when you should leave fandom because you're "too old" and "it's creepy".

The world is not restricted to the young. The world is not built for the young only. Joy is not restricted to the young. YOU ARE NOT BETTER B3CAUSE YOU'RE YOUNG. I would in fact argue the opposite, because obvious lack of life experience (especially when compounded with the fact that most of the experience most of you even have are limited to online spaces and not the actual outside world) shows itself in both your ignorance about the (fandom) history and with your conpletely misguided sense of entitlement i already spoke about.

What even is the age to be enrolled in fandom? Does life stop after 20? 25? 29? Or god forbid, *gasp*, thirty? Thats basically both feet in the grave, isn't it?

Do you even hear yourselves? Because unless you have forwknowledge or plan to die when you come to [insert arbitrary age here], you are still going to be living after that. Will that moment, that birthday be the time whrre you go "right. im too old now. i should erase all the joy ive gotten feom fandoms up until now b3cause im too old and fandoms and fandom spaces are only for young people, which i am not anymore. bye bye".

What the everloving fuck. Do you think young people are the onse who built fandoms? Do i have to drag out star trek spirk housewives? Do i have to reference diana duane? Do i have to dig through a million posts on this godforsaken website that tell you about communities of people of all ages coming together to enjoy things and make fandom spaces as wonderful as they are?

Do you think you can only enjoy life up until [insert arbitrary fucking age here]? Do you think life stops after 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, if you're lucky to live that long?

What the everloving fuck is wrong with you???

Instead of sending stupid 😭 emojis about people being older than your 18 years of age and still enjoying things, go read a bit on fandom history. Log off fucking predictive algorithm pages, stop scrolling, read a fucking book, go touch a cow, smoke or touch some grass, talk to actual fuking people and not just bemoan existence of older people in your tween echo chambers.

Get a fucking life, adapt, and/or leave the rest of us alone. The world does not revolve around you, and if you keep insisting it does, well. We older generations have no problem with blocking. We value ourselves too much to disrupt our joy with childish whinings of entitled assholes.

[singsweetmelodies]

right, and with that, i have officially done it. lost my mind. (AKA published over 100k of fanfiction in half a year)

[whataboutdisney]

i fucked up and i'm so mad, and ashamed. i was in the run for a house but i only just realised i'm missing one of the documents that you have to have. so whatever i think of the house doesn't matter cause i can't have it anyway. so i thought alright it's not a big deal i can still get it, apparently it costs €10,20 for a document that only last 3 months but ok i got it as fast as i could online cuz ya. didn't read all the shit around it. well i'm fucked even more cause it takes 2 to 3 days to get it and it's the weekends and they're not open in the weekends so not working so it's taking 5 to 6 days so. ye. good job stupid fuck. like. never ever am i doong something right. i'm am such a stupid stupid facking retarded asshole. godfucking christ i hate myself so much. and my dad wasn't having it anyway and he had to take the morning off work to come with me tomorrow and now it's probably all for nothing and i'm already a pretty useless fuck in his eyes so now i have to tell him that i fucked up and that this will be all for nothing. congratulations you did it again. good. fucking. job.

so sorry for the rant but this is the only place i can still write my feelings without anyone actually reading them 😂

[toreen-m]

Accept a “No”.

Can people please just learn to accept  a “No”? Like, godfucking damnit.

I told a guy I don’t want to show myself on cam after I skyped with him abt a minute (w/cam) because I felt uncomfy. He accused me of faking my personality, of faking who I am , that it was a fake video (yeah because I just fucking answered him to questions that no one could suspect). I told him I don't want to, I told him I feel umcomfortable with showing myself to strangers He accused me of lying about my social anxiety and that I should stick my attitude somewhere else. Ended with me getting mad, telling him he should learn to accept a „no“, hung up and blocked him.

Why do people have to be like that? Why can’t people just accept a “no” as long as it doesn’t harm them?

[dreamscript]

Spiders

There’s a spider in the room.

You’re scared, Minhyuk’s terrified, and Hyunwoo’s tired.

“You know, I’m starting to think that the only reason you guys are friends with me is so that I can kill the spiders.”

fill for this request

3.2k words, comedy, minhyuk + reader + hyunwoo, college au

Hyunwoo is dreaming. 

He prances about in a sparkling, sunshine-filled world, with all-you-can-eat buffets prepared by top-notch chefs, expansive gyms, nicely toned arms, screaming marmot noises, comf--

Wait.

He pauses in his enjoyment of the dreamworld and listens intently to the harsh, guttural, grating sounds. Screaming marmot noises.

No, no. The noises--oh. That’s his phone.

Letting out a groan, he reaches over for the obnoxiously screaming device. He curses himself for forgetting to turn his ringer off, and then curses Minhyuk for setting his default ringtone to screaming marmots. He’d forgotten to never trust the kid with his phone.

Hyunwoo doesn’t even bother looking at the caller ID--whoever it is, whatever the hell they want, none of it matters. The only thing that really counts, he has decided, is his much-needed sleep. He’s got an 8 AM class tomorrow that he’s been dreading, but he’s gotta go because he’s already behind as is. And everyone knows that if you’re behind, you are behind. He’s still trying, though. Especially since he’s already paying thousands to attend the university, and he’d be damned if he failed one of his core classes.

“What.” His voice comes out as a deep, menacing rumble. The person’s got precisely 0.3 seconds to answer before he--

“HYUNWOO!”

He instinctively flinches. Faintly, he feels--hears?--his ears ringing. Hyunwoo doesn’t even need to think to know the person is Minhyuk, who seems more than ready to die a painful, torturous death. Tomorrow. After he goes back to sleep. And goes to class.

“The fuck you want?” he hisses into the receiver. Out of the corner of his eye, he notes that it is currently 3:17 A.M. Fucking fantastic.

“YOU HAVE TO CO--AH!” There’s static as Minhyuk yelps and loses hold of the phone, letting it slip from his grasp and fall--somewhere. Hyunwoo grunts and feels his eyelids fluttering shut, finger moving to jab satisfactorily at the red “end call” button--

“SHIT--H-Hyunwoo!” His eyes immediately widen upon hearing your voice. “Y-You gotta get here right now!” In the background, he can hear another strangled cry from Minhyuk. You curse under your breath. More static.

“What’s wrong? Where are you?” Hyunwoo immediately sits up in his bed, eyes frantically darting around the darkened room, attempting to locate his clothes, his shoes, maybe a can of pepper spray...

“Wow, okay, I see how it is!” Minhyuk’s whining, slightly panicked voice comes back. “You curse me out when I call you, but as soon as ________ takes over the phone, you immediately start paying attention!”

Okay, so Minhyuk’s got a point there. But that’s only because Hyunwoo’s so used to his panicked voice that he’s become completely desensitized, whereas with you...he doesn’t really hear you in such a state of panic very often. Only on certain occasions…Wait.

“What’s. The. Problem.” Hyunwoo grits his teeth. He swears to god that if this is yet another substance-induced incident, or a horrendous prank of sorts, he is going to fucking kill--

“We’re in Minhyuk’s room right now! And, uh,” you let out a loud squeal. “There’s--” Hyunwoo snarls in annoyance, irritated when the answer he’s been waiting so impatiently for is obfuscated by loud static.

“There’s a fucking what?”

“There’s a spider!”

Hyunwoo sighs and flops back down on his bed. Ah yes, of course. He should know this by now: of the few times he’s heard you so panicked, once (and the most recent) was a prank. All the other four times were about spiders and other related miniature-sized threats (whereas for Minhyuk, his calls tend to be a hysterical mixture of both, with great frequency).

Sometimes, he wonders why he even bothers. Seriously, it’s two against one. Against a small, measly spider. You’ve all been through so many more life threatening situations, and yet, it’s always the damned arachnid that--

“Hyunwoo? Hello?” Your voice breaks through his thoughts, now with an edge of hysteria.

--sends you two into a practical fit of hysteria. He hears you call for him again, and in the background comes Minhyuk’s famed shriek of terror. And then your loud cursing and screaming. He can already imagine the scene in his head, in which--

“HYUNWOO! HELLO? ARE YOU--SHIT GODFUCK MINHYUK IT’S COMING--”

--Minhyuk is clutching his pillow with sheer desperation, almost as if begging the cushion to vanquish the eight-legged threat in his room, while you curse and screech in fear, movements frantic and jerky as you attempt to meld into the wall, or some other surface.

Ah yes. He grins, almost sadistically. He sees it perfectly now, an entertaining display of sheer terror over a spider. A common, probably non-venomous creature, just trying to live its simple life... He’s pretty sure you two will be fine. In fact, maybe just this once he won’t cater to your needs; the both of you have to learn to survive without him, after all.

He closes his eyes and wishes for the sweet embrace of slumber...

“HYUNWOO!”

...or maybe not. Your desperate yell jerks him back, and he feels that annoying voice tugging at the back of his mind, that thing he so-calls his moral conscience.

Would he be okay leaving his friends alone in a room with their greatest fear?

Probably.

He hears more cursing and then some straight up begging. He’s pretty sure that in a few more seconds, tears would be involved as well.

Okay, so maybe not so much. Damn himself and his morals. He grunts and sits back up on his bed, now sufficiently woken up.

“HYUN--”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there ASAP. Hang tight, don’t die, and if it comes down to it, sacrifice Minhyuk and make a mad dash for it when the enemy is distrac--”

“Hey! I heard that--”

Hyunwoo chuckles as he slips on his shoes, pausing for a moment to get Minhyuk’s room key from its spot next to yours. The keys had been given to him after one too many incidents--or “near death experiences,” as Minhyuk calls them--in which he’d arrived to exterminate a spider (or some other unfortunate pest), only to find the door locked and the petrified victim cowering in some far end of the room, unable to move to open the door.

“--fight me you hunky ass muscle brain--”

Hyunwoo smoothly ends the call and steps out of his room, breaking into a jog.

//

“Okay, Minhyuk, he’s coming, so until he arrives, we’ll just have to barricade ourselves and keep an eye on the threat. Minhyuk?” You look over at the slightly-dazed, still-fuming boy next to you. You elbow him and he yelps.

“Yeah?”

“Eyes on the target.”

“Right--shit, yeah.”

You turn back to fix your gaze back on the current issue at hand: the brown, miniscule, skittering dot that threatens your very existence. Minhyuk tenses beside you as it wanders aimlessly in his room, nearing the bed. The silent standoff between the both of you and the spider continues until the arachnid suddenly seems to find a direction and purpose.

It turns towards the bed.

And it leaps in that very direction with an alarmingly fast pace.

You let out a shriek--or is it Minhyuk?--as you watch it come closer and closer, almost seeing it hiss between its tiny little fangs--

Bam.

Like a super hero from a kid’s comic, Hyunwoo bursts into the room just as the spider closes the distance and very nearly gets a double kill.

With one fell swoop, he kills the spider, reaching over to pinch its body into a tissue. You exhale, letting go of the breath you’d been holding, as Hyunwoo disappears into the bathroom to flush the body down the toilet.

“Th-Thanks,” you call after him. Minhyuk makes a noise in agreement. You hear the toilet flush, the sink go off. Then silence. Hyunwoo pads out.

“You know,” he says, “I’m starting to think that the only reason you guys are friends with me is so that I can kill the spiders.”

“Oh come on,” Minhyuk protests. “We invite you to hangouts and places that are spider-free too!”

You slap his shoulder and Hyunwoo laughs.

“Anyways, before I go, what are you guys doing up this late? On a weekday?”

“Studying,” you reply. Minhyuk grumbles.

“Last-minute cramming,” you amend. Hyunwoo looks skeptical. Minhyuk looks guilty.

“Okay, fine, watching Stranger Things. Happy?”

“Quite, actually. It’s a good show,” Hyunwoo says. And then he leaves, though not without running into the door. Twice. You wince and feel vaguely bad for forcing him out here. It’s still 3 AM, after all.

//

“Happy now?” you ask over your styrofoam cup.

“Hardly,” Hyunwoo replies smoothly. “But I really wasn’t expecting much. Free coffee is still free coffee. And I’m too tired and depressed to care as much about quality.”

“So I take it you’re failing that class pretty badly?” Minhyuk asks casually. Hyunwoo makes a grim expression and nods. He then looks down at the black liquid in his own styrofoam cup. All he sees is his own tired, deadbeat reflection, though slightly distorted and at a terrible angle. He grimaces and picks it up, throwing it down his throat all the same. Maybe the caffeine will give him a heart-attack, or something, and he’ll finally feel the sweet release of death.

Ahem.

Anyways.

Joking suicidal thoughts aside, there is currently yet another cup of relatively disgusting, hot coffee being waved directly in front of his face in a dangerously haphazard manner. As much as he contemplates the void, he’d really rather not have it end now, and especially not with a cup of cheap cafeteria coffee to the face.

(On second thought, that probably wouldn’t be enough to kill him. Maybe blind him, permanently disfigure him. The point still stands, though. He refuses to lose to coffee.)

“Hyunwoo? Hello?” You continue to wave your coffee in front of his face.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here.” Before you can accidentally spill the thing into his eyes, he gently pushes your hand away. You set the cup down on the table.

“Sorry. But yeah, thanks for helping us out a few days ago. At 3 AM. And sorry for interrupting your much-needed sleep. You’ll pull through in your class. I think.” You give him a reassuring smile that really isn’t that reassuring. He smiles back because he’s going to fail and knows that everyone knows he will.

He clears his throat, setting the now-empty cup back onto the table. “Anyways, in regards to that spider incident, I have something to tell you guys.”

“Hm?”

“I’m going to be out for the weekend, so if you guys have any incidents��”

“Oh.” You turn to look at Minhyuk. He stares back at you. Hyunwoo wonders if you guys somehow have telepathic abilities. He actually wouldn’t be very surprised at all, really. In fact, he’s actually kind of jealous. They’d be nice, especially if he’s in a pinch and needs help from a friend on a test for a certain class…

“So, uh, where are you going to be?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, funeral,” Hyunwoo replies. “But I was going to say, if you guys are worried about more spiders appearing--especially with the weather getting warmer and all--I could actually stay back.”

“Why?” Minhyuk looks both alarmed and relieved. “Wait, what? I mean, I know that we’re best friends and everything but this is a funeral--”

“For my uncle,” Hyunwoo interrupts. “Racist misogynist extraordinaire. Or so I’ve heard. Never really met him, though if what my mother tells me about him is true, I can understand why. He also had some sort of cerebral injury later in his life and let’s just say...his already pretty loose filter became very much nonexistent.”

“Ah,” you say, relaxing back into your seat. “Well in that case I don’t feel all that bad about asking you to stay.”

“Neither do I,” Hyunwoo replies. “Honestly, my family is only going to collect some old items of ours that somehow wound up in his possession.”

“Oh. Well, in that case, I think you should still go.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” Minhyuk says. “Go and get your stuff, man. What if someone steals what’s rightfully yours because you aren’t there?”

“I mean…”

“If you really want to stay, then stay. I mean, I still feel kind of bad for asking you to stay. Plus, I don’t think there will be that many spiders...hopefully,” you add on.

Hyunwoo studies the two of you carefully. Maybe he should go. He’d heard that there was apparently some painting there that belonged to his father, and he’d been meaning to see it.

“Um, okay then.”

//

The first day without Hyunwoo...is just like any other day, except without the reassurance, at the back of your mind, that if any sort of eight-legged threat were to appear, he would also appear to save you.

But it’s okay, because on most days you don’t need to rely on him for such things. You and Minhyuk pass it by as normal, binge-watching more shows and getting started on Black Mirror. The episode ends, fading into the usual “next episode” screen on Netflix.

You stretch, letting out a satisfied groan escape your mouth. “‘Mkinda thirsty,” you mumble. Minhyuk grunts. Turning your head about, you look around for your mug; you’re pretty sure you left it somewhere nearby…

There it is. You spot it sitting on your desk, a few feet away from where you and Minhyuk are currently squished on the bed (seriously--you should get a couch). Except...you’re quick to spot something else next to it, too.

Something small.

And tiny.

With many appendages.

“M-M-Minhyuk,” you start, slapping him on the shoulder multiple times.

“Hm?” He sounds half-asleep.

The thing twitches. And moves. Shit. “Th-There’s a s-spider.”

Almost immediately, Minhyuk tenses. He shifts on the bed. “W-Where?”

With a shaking finger, you point at the dot of brown on the other side of the room, skittering about without a clear sense of aim or direction on the desk.

He makes a terrified squeaking noise, hands desperately grabbing at you before he manages to lock you in a death embrace. You hug him back just as desperately, fearing for you damned life.

As it inches towards your direction and nears the bed closer and closer, you can’t help but think one thing:

“Maybe,” you whisper, terrified, “we should’ve told Hyunwoo to stay...”

“I-I think that’d be nice and all but...we’ll hopefully be fine without him...” Slowly, he unravels his arms.

“But he’s literally the only one who can face those--those things!”

“No. No, he’s not.”

“Wh--” It’s then that you notice that Minhyuk’s rolled up an old magazine of yours, clutching it tightly in his sweaty hand. “Wait, are you really…?”

He nods. You’re unsure about what to feel: on one hand, you’re filled with desperate hope, praying to the deities that Minhyuk will be successful in his dangerous mission and exterminates the threat--but on the other hand, the very threat is the bane of both of your existences.

With what seems to be incredible courage, Minhyuk unfolds his trembling legs, letting his feet make cold contact with the ground. You inhale sharply as he cautiously inches towards the spider, which skitters precariously towards the edge of the desk.

One step.

Minhyuk seems too big for the room, all of a sudden. With just one, fear-filled step, he’s already covered a third of the distance between him and the desk. That has the spider.

Two steps.

He’s taken two steps from the bed, the sanctuary, the haven of safety, venturing deeper into enemy territory. Bravely, he raises his glossy paper weapon.

“Minhyuk…”

Three steps.

His strides may have gotten smaller, but he’s still close, much too close. If the spider could jump--can they jump?--it would easily land on his forearm, and from there sink its tiny little (most likely) venomous fangs into the flesh, pierce his fair, perfect, flawless and pure skin, and stare up at his crumbling, dying form with all eight of its beady little eyes--

There’s a loud thwack and you suddenly jolt, eyes widening with fear as you expect to see his dead body on the ground--

“Y-You’re alive.”

Minhyuk stands panting before your desk, hand firmly pressing the magazine to the desk.

“Y-Yeah.” He says it as if he’s surprised he’s alive too.

Carefully, Minhyuk lifts up the magazine, inspecting it carefully. You can’t see the look on his face, but he makes a satisfied noise.

“I--I killed it.” He turns to look at you now, and his face is the epitome of elation. “I-I did it. I killed the spider--” Minhyuk continues to babble happily as you straighten up on the bed and beam widely at him.

“Really? Are you sure it’s dead? Rip off the page of the mag that it’s smashed on--yeah. Careful--yeah, okay, go and flush that down the toilet. I don’t care if it clogs, because I am not taking any risks--”

He jibbers excitedly as he prances out of the room.

//

“Man, so is this how Hyunwoo feels whenever he kills a spider?” Minhyuk asks dreamily. “It feels so great. No wonder he does it for us so often.”

You nod in agreement. “That explains why he was so reluctant to leave us alone.” You look at him, leaning against your now spider-free desk. “Where’d you get all that courage from, anyway?”

He shrugs and attempts to act casual and “oh-so-manly” about it. “Geh, who knows. Probably was just some fight-or-flight instinct, but I chose fight.”

“Right, okay,” you giggle. He grins at you, still perched on the bed, half-covered in sheets. He’s feeling a bit too awkward to admit it just yet, but it was also in part because there was this sudden, surging notion to protect you. And himself. And the rest of humanity, probably, from the accursed spider.

“Wow, I feel so great, like I could lift entire buildings and--”

“Minhyuk?” He starts at the slightly panicked look on your face.

“Yeah?”

“There’s another one.” With a slightly trembling hand, you point at the ground to the left of him… And holyshityou’rerightshitshitshit--

There’s a loud squeak of protest as both you and Minhyuk immediately dive for the bed. He ends up crushing half of your body with his weight and you’re left wheezing and gasping for multiple reasons.

“H-HYUNWOO!”

//

In a large, relatively crowded room filled with people swathed in black, Hyunwoo sneezes.

Reaching for his handkerchief, he wipes his nose and glances around at those around him, people who seem oblivious to his sneeze. They continue to stare at the casket with mixed expressions of sadness, sorrow, joy, and satisfaction.

Everything about the funeral is plain, utterly plain. Not a single flower is in sight. Or pepper shaker. Or cat, or dog, or any kind of fur-shedding animal, for that matter.

He shrugs and does away with the handkerchief. Maybe someone was thinking of him.

a/n: i know, i know. i pick on poor minhyuk way too much. first its the werepotato incident, and now im making him suffer with spiders.

lol this fic is so random and strangely incomplete

inspired by a whole plethora of naruto fanfiction ive been reading tbh

additionally here is a yt link to screaming marmots.

[malewifepalamedes]

godfUCKing damn it I got home just as the mail truck left and they took my package and I am honestly so upset and genuinely mad neither of.my.housemates woke up I am fuming