#goddamn this crush poster is stupid

[rising-starrr]

hey..👹

street racer!Choso x nerdy!reader

NASTY FRAKY SLOPY MESSY DIRTY SHLOPY JUICY WET CARS SEX🤭 like so basically R is a fan of him and snuck out (she has strict parents and shes a good girl) to the street race and found herself talking to choso after the race (he won of course) and he was falling for her in many ways but he really wanted to fuck and so he took her to his car and sent homegirl to POUNDTOWN AND KEPT POUNDING. because she got that good pussy🤭 yk and he cant get enough overstimulating himself and her but she doesn’t mind. she just has to try and make it home before her parents wake up. good thing its the weekend huh🤭🤭

Send that pussy to poundtown ! - Street Racer!Choso Kamo

warnings: street racer Choso, nerdy Reader, slightly rough sex, Choso having a lot of stamina, car sex, choking, hair pulling, Reader having strict parents, overstimulation, backshots, size kink(bro’s dick is like 11-12 inches).

He can’t get enough of that cunt!/🌽link

Choso Kamo

As usual you were at home studying your ass off for your next quiz. Your parents were strict, so they barely allowed you to go anywhere, even if you didn't have any up-coming quizzes or tests.

You never understood why they were so strict anyways, you passed all your tests, exams, and quizzes, straight A's, top of the class, and they still don't let you get a break.

Crazy thing is you don't even live with them, they just keep in contact with your principal. But you're staying with them for spring break.

“You better be studying!” Your mother snapped as she slammed open your door, standing there with your father right behind her.

You look up from your book and nod . “Yes mother, I am.” You say as you look back down at your book.

Your mother didn’t know if you were lying or not, she was just really stupid to believe her own child.

“Good. You need to be prepared for the test after spring break.” She says, as she looks around your room. “What is with all these goddamn posters of this person ?”

That 'person' was Choso Kamo, a really famous street racer that you have a huge crush on. You didn't know when you developed a crush on him, you saw him on TV and fell in love.

You sigh as you look back down at your book, your mother was always yelling at you for the dumbest reasons possible. Meanwhile your father just stood there and allowed her to yell at you.

She huffed as she turned away from you and slammed your door. One day, that door was going to break off, and you weren't about to take the blame for it.

You stand up and open your door, putting your 'i'm studying, do not disturb' sign on your door and closing it, then locking it.

Sighing as you take out your phone, and check the time. It was 7pm, it was almost time for you to get ready for the street race.

MY BAE(BESTIE<3)

- girl ! where are you ? I'm parked around the corner

read at 7:02pm

you look around as you climb out your window and run towards your best friend’s car. You sighed as you got in and she began to drive off to the race.

When you had finally got there, the race was about to start, and you caught glance of Choso Kamo, he was getting in his car, and starting his engine up.

As soon as the flag went down for the racers to start, Choso started off with incredible speed, and safe to say he won!!

Being the shy person you are, your best friend had to drag you up to Choso, just so you would ask him for an autograph, and hug while you're at it!

You look back at your best friend as she nods, looking over to Choso. “Can.. I get your autograph please?”

You questioned, holding out the journal and pen out to him in case he says yes. He hums as he takes the book and signs it.

‘Choso K.♡’ is what your journal read. He put a cute little heart! You smile as you look back at him.

“Hm, I’ve seen you around, you wanna take a ride in my car sweets ?” Choso questioned as he took your hand in his.

You stutter over your words before shutting up and just nodding. He smirks as he leads you to his car and opens the passenger door for you.

You smile as you get inside the car, and puts the seatbelt on. He hums as he gets in on the other side and starts up the engine.

He began to drive through the neighborhood, his thumb tracing small circles on your inner thigh. He looks at you, asking if he has consent to go further.

Your crush — Choso Kamo, wanted to touch you ? Why pass up such an offer! You nod as he moves his hand up further, stopping in a random parking lot.

“Get in the back seat for me sweets.” He says, as you begin to unbuckle your seatbelt and crawl in the back, him following after you.

He asks for permission to push your skirt up, and makes sure your comfortable, he may be a very messy, and anger-issued person in the streets, but in the sheets, he's sweet and aggressive.

You nod as he pushes up your skirt and moves your panties to the side as you hum. He puts his face between your legs, taking in your scent to his nose.

All he smelled was a sweet cunt that was about to get ravished. To him, you smelled like candy, and sweets all that he loved.

He grips your hips, pulling you closer to his face. His face buried in your cunt, as he sticks his tongue to taste you.

“Shit, you taste so fucking good, sweets..” he murmurs as he comes back up and keeps one hand on your hip, the other unbuckling his belt.

He pushes down his boxers and began lazily stroking his cock. you look back, seeing how big his dick was, that shit wasn’t going to fit in you!

He positions his cock at your entrance, humming as he pushes down on your back, making you arch more.

Your face was pressed against his backseat, as he pushed himself inside of you. “Fuck — you feel so good” he murmurs as his grip on your hips tighten.

He began pounding away at that cunt of yours, making himself pussy drunk. He was pounding away as he gripped your hips harder.

His hair clinging to his forehead as he threw his head back. He just kept pounding, not letting either of you cum, he wanted to savor this moment.

Fucking the cute girl of his dreams? Complete! He just finished his bucket list, but he knows he’ll have to make another just to fuck you again.

“Cho—so! Cu—mming!” You managed to scream out, something that wasn’t just his name, or stupid moans about how good his dick was.

His grip on your hips tightened up, as he pressed his chest against your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “cum for me then.”

He murmured as you listened and finally came on his dick. He soon followed after you as you came. “Good girl”

He pulled back and took the condom off.(don’t ask me when he put it on..) He threw it in the trash can he had in his car and pulled you up.

“I should drive you home pretty. You plan to come to my next race right ?” He questioned as he got back in the front seat after cleaning you up and throwing the rag away.

You nod simply as you lay in his backseat, he hums as he looks through his mirror and drives you back home.

You thank him for the drive and walk off, to climb back into your window, it was 2 in the morning currently and your parents were still asleep.

Or should have been. They weren’t, they were having the night of their lives like you just did!

You yawn as you change and fall right onto your bed, a piece of paper flying out of your pocket. It was his number!

I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO MUCH WHAT AND I’M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO DO IT

[wilcze-kudly]

Rambling about Weilin, but this time it's more about Wei. (And the twins in general)

When it comes to Wei, I think that he, and the rest of the Beifongs were severely underutilised and underexplored. They're all so interesting, but despite being an integral part of an entire book and three comics, we barely know anything about them.

So I mainly have my own headcanons to entertain myself with. I personally imagine that both the twins feel a pressure to continue their mother and grandmother's legacy, since none of their siblings will do that.

That's why they're practically glued to their mother's side, they're fiercely loyal to her and their entire family. They're the youngest of their family but they feel the pressure to take on a lot of responsibility for its wellbeing and safety.

I like to think that Wei feels rather trapped by these expectations and responsibilities. He feels like he's treading water, like he's stuck upholding an old legacy with no hope of creating something new for himself. He's barely even seen the world outside of Zaofu. But he can't leave, he needs to stay with his family, with his mother and her life's work.

Enter Bolin.

Bolin, who comes from fucking Republic City, more than that was actually a Probender! Who gets to travel the world with the goddamn Avatar, who gets to go wherever he wants, be whoever he wants to be.Who can lavabend, something so rare and unexplored that it's almost undocumented in non-Avatars.

And Wei wants to hate him, he really does. Bolin is annoying, loud and an idiot. He can't metalbend, he rarely seems to take anything seriously, he's working for Kuvira. He's naive and a people pleaser.

But Bolin is very difficult to hate, with how ridiculously sweet and cheerful as he is. He's funny, charismatic, he has the goofiest most adorable smile. He's always willing to help anyone. He seems to be able to, or at least determined to befriend most anyone.

And he's handsome too, in fact so handsome that he'd been the first movie star in the world. Wei had seen posters and balked (and flushed) at how Bolin looked in that skimpy costume.

Wei's horrified to realise that he's fallen for that big dumb oaf. Even worse, he's fallen for his sister's boyfriend.

Of course, Wei can't say anything. The peace in his family is already balancing on the edge of a knife since everything that happened with Kuvira. And he wouldn't jeopardise his sister's happiness just because of some stupid childish crush on some... big dumb idot. And Wei isn't stupid, Bolin is.. overwhelmingly heterosexual. It couldn't work out between them, right ?

[bbbigforehead]

3. How did your OC feel the first time they left home? Why did they leave?

tw: suicide mention

RELIEF. COMPLETE AND TOTAL RELIEF. Like the entire moon had been lifted off of her chest and she was finally able to breathe for the first time. Although, the air she was breathing was being continuously recycled through the shuttle she jerry-rigged together with Roman's help.

Minerva always daydreamed about leaving Titan one day and assumed it would eventually happen, since she was raised under the belief that she and the other children of Titan were to "inherit the stars" and "seed the galaxy" once they were "ready". As the kids become teens, and the teens become young adults, it becomes brazenly clear nobody is ever leaving Titan. And her role on Titan becomes even more brazenly clear. Gadsden's daughter. Roman's wife. And eventually a mother to Roman's children, and the grandchildren of Gadsden and Invictus. More Titans. She attempts to be content with this, but she isn't even able to get anybody to listen to her about fixing up and making life on Titan easier, so why should she have kids? What's the point if they're going to be stuck in the same trap as her? Roman's on the same page as Minerva, so the two of them are able to continue their friendship from before their marriage, without the "expectations of their martial roles" coming into conflict. The older members of The Council, especially Invictus, aren't too happy with most of their children abstaining from having children [there's also a Secret Reason why there aren't a lot of kids on Titan, but nobody on Titan is aware of this until wayyy later on], but they confront Minerva and Roman about it to set an example and because they're the unofficial poster children for Titan as Gadsden and Invictus' children. The Council basically tells Roman he needs to "man up" and start acting like Invictus' son, because it's embarrassing that all he wants to do is play tortured artist with Minerva. And Minerva is told to stay in her place and start "acting like a good wife". Minerva's too stunned at the realization that she's never been viewed as anything more than a baby-maker by The Council, and all her other efforts were for nothing to defend herself in any meaningful way against The Council. Roman's too afraid of his father to say anything, who leads The Confrontation, so he just takes Minerva and leaves the meeting room. Minerva's first thoughts are "suicide pact???", and Roman says, "no. but we CAN kill our fathers and then respectively dip from Titan and head to Mars!". Minerva's very unsure of how they'll get off Titan knowing the researchers who abandoned the base long before they were born did everything in their power while escaping to make sure nobody but them could leave Titan. Roman just kinda shrugs his shoulders and says, "I think you're smart enough to figure it out. We can figure it out together," and Minerva loses her goddamn mind because, "Holy shit, I'm so stupid he's the only one this entire time who's had any faith in me," and agrees to start planning to leave Titan with him. It's also where Minerva's crush for Roman buds, and the two of them grow closer romantically from this point on. [ I won't get into details of The Plan & The Escape for brevity.] Minerva had a LOT of Emotions [mostly about killing Invictus, leaving everything she's ever known behind Forever, and being in space for the first time in the span of a few hours] when she first looked through the viewport and saw the research base getting smaller and smaller until it was just Titan. And then it was just Saturn. And then it was just The Void. She sobbed for HOURS and then fell asleep in the pilot's seat before Roman carried her to one of the beds.

bonus doodles of minerva, roman, gadsden & invictus so putting faces to names is easier <3

[jackiexmiller]

“ you can’t keep doing this. you can’t keep lying to yourself. “ (Lucas)

They're in some type of argument again. They had to have been. Because he didn't want to go back to how things were, and she didn't know how to take things to wherever the fuck he wanted them to go. And Jack was angry. She was angry with herself for not keeping her mouth shut, she was angry with him, for not understanding a single thing that came out of her mouth. Even if she couldn't blame him, he had been through so much shit and came out the other way just the nicest fucking guy. Most loyal, most brave, most loving and kind. And here she was, out the other end of her own shit having ended up being none of those things. It baffled her, that he was even here - trying. She didn't deserve it, and neither did he.

"You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep lying to yourself."

His words cut deep, only because they were true. But it was also all she had left, lying to herself in hopes it would all someday be true. -- Her angry gaze meets him again, and she can feel that spiral of anger, of pure and raw aggression coming on. Why did she keep doing this? She didn't want to do this.

"Oh yeah?! So what? I should be more like you, huh? 'Cause you're the fucking poster-child for self-fucking development and honesty, are you Lucas?" she knows her words are harsh, but maybe if she gets harsh enough he'll fucking stop. Stop trying to make shit better, stop trying to make her something she was not. "Get off your high fucking horse and take a look in the fucking mirror! Who's really lying to themselves, huh? I know who I am, I know I'm a fucking piece of shit. I know I'm a manipulative, selfish, stupid fucking bitch. And know I can try all I want to change that, but this is just what life has fucking made of me and I have accepted that, I am at peace with it. You --" she points at him now, cigarette shaking between her fingers as she talks. "You have not accepted a goddamn thing! Not about yourself, not about me. You walk around with your....your hopeful lil puppy eyes, wounded, just refusing to accept that this life --- it's all fucking shit and it doesn't get any fucking better. So how about you stop lying to yourself, and practice what you preach, before you get up in my face trying to solve some fucking shit that ain't yours to solve!"

She takes in the last puff of the cigarette, throwing it on the floor and putting it out with her heel, before her eyes find him again. "You told me -- you told me you're crushed under this weight of people needing you. Of having to be there for them, protect them be...be strong for them, right?" and before she even says the words, she can feel the knife of them twisting inside her gut, but she says them anyway. "I don't need you. I don't need your help, I don't want it. So you can go and distract yourself with everyone else's problems so you don't have to deal with your own....ya' know, like you've done so far? And leave me the fuck out of it."

[creativeashproductions]

What If...? III // Alive!Luke Patterson

Summary: The aftermath of both the car accident and the proposal is something Luke struggles with dividing you two for the first time. With an ultimatum in place Luke finds himself standing in front of his childhood home but can he open the door he had locked and shut?

Warning: Swearing, talk of injuries, self-guilt, angst, Unsaid Emily (I’m a terrible person), and fluff (I SWEAR THERE IS FLUFF IN THIS)

Words: 4.0k

Requested: By @beautifulblogsblog . There will be two more parts at least.

A/N: Grammarly estimates that this will take a little over 15 minutes to read. I also almost made you not get an answer to a make or break question somewhere in here but I wanted to make up for the cliffhanger in part one.

*Bobby’s last name in this is Willis, it will come clear why soon.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist (other parts for What If can be found in the masterlist)

(This goddamn shirt is also a warning holy christ)

Hollywood 1996

Life after the car accident was strange, to say the least. You lived with the guilt that your father couldn’t pick up a guitar. He had severely broken his arm in the crash in the instinctive moment to protect you. Your mother hovered, and Luke was there, but something changed since his hospital proposal.

There was a weird tension between you and him that concerned Alex because Luke wouldn’t talk about it. He would change the subject whenever Alex inquired about that empty ring box he found. Luke hadn’t told the guys he planned to propose and being rejected wasn’t something he wanted to share. However, one night he finally did.

“You could propose at the Eiffel Tower!” Reggie suggested having seen a commercial with the tower in the background. His excitement was visible to the band members in the living room.

 “Too cheesy.” Luke grumbled, rolling his eyes slouching down on the couch, “I’m not proposing.”

“I understand it’s a big step b-“

“I’m not proposing because I already did.” Luke snapped running hand through his messy hair with a glower. Alex was quiet, taking in the news and watching Luke’s body language.

“Oh congrat-“

“Read the damn room.” Luke snapped, slamming his pen on the coffee table as he stalked up the stairs to his bedroom. The resounding slam of his door marking his anger more prominent. Alex flinched at the sound.

“Was it something-“

“Seriously man?” Alex groaned, shaking his head at the bassist standing up from the armchair leaving the bassist the lone sitter, “You are so lucky you can play bass.”

Alex left Reggie downstairs to enter Luke’s room where he was throwing darts at the board harshly. Luke didn’t need to turn around to know Alex was in his personal place with one goal in mind, to cheer his bandmate up.

“What happened?” Alex asked, sitting in the second-hand office chair with a hole in the seat. His blue eyes watching the jerky movements from the obviously frustrated guitarist.

“She said no.” Luke whispered, rubbing a hand over his weary hazel eyes, more of a blue with the sadness he felt, “I proposed, and she said no.”

“I’m sorry. Did Y/N say why?” Alex hesitated to ask the question fearing Luke would fully snap as he had down a few times in the past. The one time was when he found Alex crying as an asshole overheard Alex admit to his crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas after seeing him on Home Improvement. Courtesy of Luke, that asshole never breathed a word about it.

“An ultimatum. She won’t say yes until I fix things with my parents.” Luke sighed collapsing onto his bed, staring at the blue ceiling. Going back home after hurting his mom was something hard to do.

The night he left had been filled with a lot of words he regretted saying, he can’t even remember the last time he told his mom he loved her. The last time dinner hadn’t been tense and filled with anger. There was a pang of deep guilt for running out on his family, his mother and seeing the missing person posters further hammered the guilt in.

“She has a point.” Alex admitted, “We made it. We proved to our parents that this band was worth it. Take it from me. I would give anything for my parents to be the way they were before I told them I’m gay.”

Luke was quiet.

“You have a chance to fix things and Luke, that’s something you’ll regret. Remember the night of The Orpheum? We were gonna get street dogs? If we had, we would have died man.”

“I guess we got lucky?” Luke half-smiled remembering when they had been walking near the Orpheum a few days after performing.

The guy that sold the street dogs was arrested, and an ambulance was taking a couple to the hospital. The couple died, and it made the guys think how close they could have come to dying all the times they ate out of the Oldsmobile.

“We did. She loves you, Luke, but if you love her. You’ll reach out to your parents. I know they would love it.” Alex spoke, squeezing his best friends’ shoulder before he let himself out of the bedroom.

Alex joined Reggie in the living room watching a VHS they had rented from Blockbuster this morning. A smile appearing on Alex’s face as the muted familiar sound of a guitar came from upstairs. The sad melody Luke had taught his band playing.

“So, what year do you think we should release a country album? I can play the banjo.” Reggie asked, looking over at Alex with a thoughtful expression, “I’ve been writing this wicked song. I’m thinking of calling it ‘Home is Where My Horse Is’? How long would it take you to learn how to fiddle?”

“Reggie. I love you man, but I am not gonna be barefoot in overalls fiddling.” Alex spoke, shaking his head at his bandmate who pouted softly.

Alex and Reggie fell asleep on the couch that night while Luke worked tirelessly through the night on Unsaid Emily. It was by far the most personal song he had ever written, but it was the only way he could release the feelings he had. By the time morning came, his eyes had turned bloodshot and swollen.

Luke’s hands trembled at the sight of the childhood home he hadn’t been inside in months, not since that cold December night he left. The car was parked in the very same spot with the front bumper still dinged from when Luke was practising for his license.

Luke had developed a streak to avoid the bitter taste of disappointment from his parents. He would sneak out to gigs or little known locations with Alex; either for the band and his secret relationship. Luke never breathed a word of the relationship for the safety of Alex and avoid anything that would spike his boyfriend’s anxiety. The guilt died down when he and Alex mutually decided to be friends instead, but the band topic was different. At fourteen it was becoming apparent to Luke’s parents that this band wasn’t a hobby to him anymore, the first time his parents regretted buying the guitar.

“C’mon!” Bobby hissed from the safety of the curb. Luke was behind the wheel of his family’s station wagon in the dead of night. Reggie stationed in front of the car and Alex behind it, “This is stupid guys!”

Luke shakily took a breath in putting the car in drive to align with Reggie before he placed the vehicle in reverse. Learning to parallel park seemed to be going well as Luke did okay pulling into the parking spot. He got ahead of himself; however, when he moved to drive forward to center between Reggie and Alex. He may have hit the gas too hard.

“Ah!” Reggie screamed as the car bumped in him in the leg. The boy went down shuddering while his three friends hurried to his side.

“Are you okay?” Luke asked not minding the sting of the asphalt on his covered knees seeing as he just hit his best friend.

“I’m good.” Reggie raised one thumb in the air. Each boy leaned back in relief confirming the bassist was as good as Reginald could be.

 “Why the hell didn’t you move out of the way?” Luke demanded helping the boy up from the ground with a deep frown.

 “I was a traffic cone. Cones can’t move unless they get moved.” Reggie proudly announced with his typical oblivious attitude. Reggie wasn’t stupid, he was definitely the comedic relief in the band and prided himself on it.

“I-what. Okay..” Alex whispered to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Sometimes I don’t know Reg.”

Reggie shrugged it off while a familiar girl jogged down the road with a furrowed brow, a girl that had lived in Luke’s neighbourhood for a while. She was moving to a bigger house soon, but she was an acquaintance that had never acknowledged the group.

“Are you okay?” The girl, you, questioned the bassist scanning him over as Luke stared dreamily at her. His ever-changing eye colour turning a soft mossy green at the girl that had held his heart for years; only temporarily vacating it for Alex.

“Oh, totally. This doesn’t hurt as much as the amp.” Reggie supplied waving it off whereas you were more worried the guy hit his head. Your gaze scanned the boys of Riot Curve. A deep developing on the pale cheeks of the Patterson boy.

“Aren’t you guys in my grade?” You questioned pursing your lips together, “You’d be like thirteen. Why are you driving? Aren’t you a little short to see over the steering wheel?”

A bark of laughter fell from Bobby Willis’ mouth, earning him a glance from you, closing his mouth as Luke’s look of disgust.

“I’m not short!” Luke shouted, “I’ll have you know I grew!”

You snickered at his offended expression, “Dude, I’m joking. You’ll get a growth spurt soon. Besides, I think you have bigger issues than your vertical challenge.”

A question fell from Luke’s lips before he followed your view. The bumper of his parent’s car had a small dent that his father would most definitely discover at some point.

“Oh, I am dead meat.” Luke sprouted just before the guys started brainstorming explanations that didn’t include four fourteen-year-old boys out after curfew driving.

“Hey, I have a little experience with bands and whatnot. Just a suggestion, maybe consider changing your band name from Riot Curve to something else.” You suggested starting to jog back to your house, “See you in class!”

Luke once again stared dreamily after your form forgetting what he should be worried about.

“Our name is already-“

“Sunset Curve.” Luke shouted, earning weird looks from his bandmates at the rather uncharacteristic change of mind, “We are renaming the band.”

“Why?” Bobby scoffed, “We agreed on Riot Curve!”

“Uh, no. You two did. Reggie and I weren’t there.” Alex raised one his eyebrows facing Bobby, “I was sick with the flu, and Reggie was at his aunt’s second wedding.”

“Why the name?” Reggie asked his pining lead singer flicking his gaze between Luke and the empty place where you had been.

“Because that was the first time, she talked to me. A sunset behind her brightening the pretty curve of her smile.” Luke sighed scrambling when the front step light at his house turned on. Each boy running for the safety from the Patterson windows.

“I like the name! I didn’t like the violence in the other name!” Alex shouted, rushing towards his bicycle to head back home. 

That was also the last time Luke saw you until 1993 at that concert as you moved to the medium-sized mansion by then.

Luke grinned at the memory of how he actually spoke to the girl of his dreams before everything went full to shit. Reggie’s parents started fighting, Bobby grew more into girls than music, Alex told his parents he was gay. Luke finally sat down with his parents telling him that he wouldn’t go to college and didn’t want to finish high school. He did finish high school to appease his parents even after running away.

“Luke?” The breathless question brought the guitarist back to the present time and to the blue eyes of his father. The shock on the man’s face preceding the tears building up, “Son.”

“Hon?” Luke’s knees collapsed as he heard the soft voice that had read him stories and sung lullabies when he was a child. Emily gasped as she saw the one person she had wished to find for so long, “Luke.”

“Mom.” Luke choked, raising his hands to press them to his face, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t-“

“Sh. Baby.” Emily wasted no time in scooping her son into her arms, so thankful nothing terrible had happened to him. She didn’t care where or what he had been doing as long as he in her arms again.

A hand clapped his shoulder to squeeze, announcing his father silently thanking whatever God there was for bringing his son home. That they didn’t have to worry blue and red lights would precede news no parent wanted to hear.

“Can I come in?” Luke asked tentatively. A soft hand brushing his hair away from his eyes for his parents to finally see the unique eye colour their son had inherited.

Emily ushered her son into the kitchen that hadn’t changed in the time Luke had been gone, the only difference being the Christmas decorations put away. They would reappear the last week of November; Emily wouldn’t have to struggle to put the ornaments on the tree without her son.

“I don’t know how to say what I want. Could I…could I sing please?” Luke murmured to his parents. It was a question he wasn’t sure he wanted to be answered. He hadn’t brought his guitar just in case it was the wrong move. His parents regretted buying him that guitar.

“Of course.” Mitch spoke, climbing to his height, “Just one moment.”

Luke watched his father leave the kitchen only to shortly return, holding a beautiful acoustic guitar. He had never seen it in his life either. He was confused when Mitch set the guitar into Luke’s lap.

“You’re like your mom. When she worries the only thing that can help calm her is knitting. I figured the guitar is your way of knitting.” Mitch calmly told his son choosing to not bright attention to tears in either of the Patterson men’s eyes.

Luke settled on the couch in the living room while Mitch and Emily took to their respective long known spots. Ones that faced the windows perfect for knitting and reading with natural light. Emily reached over to hold her husband’s hand while Luke started strumming.

First things first

We start the scene in reverse.

 All of the lines rehearsed.

 Disappeared from my mind

When things got loud

 One of us running out

 I should have turned around.

 But I had too much pride.

No time for goodbyes

 Didn’t get to apologize

 Pieces of a clock that lies broken

Not a dry eye in the Patterson home as Luke gave the best performance of his life. Performance didn’t build a bridge between him and his parents, why make a new bridge when the first one only needs repairs.

“Please record that.” Emily choked wiping her face of tears, “I want that on your first album, I loved it. I’m going to buy the first CD it’s on.”

Luke Patterson smiled a piece instead of healing at her words and the acceptance he had craved. Now he just had to propose again.

The cosy soft knit blanket Emily gave you at Christmas the first time you met Luke’s parents when it became clear that the relationship was serious. It was one that you cuddled into for a sense of comfort, eyes focused on the demo the song was waiting. Fingers itching to put in the CD player and listen to the finished product.

“Hey. Sweetheart you gotta stop blaming yourself.” Lance spoke coming to sit beside you on the piano bench. The bench you had learnt how to play directly across from the couch that you spent hours with him on learning the guitar.

“How can I? I asked for a ride, and you might never play again.” You scoffed, bringing your knees to your chest. Lance’s heart broke, hearing the guilt leaking from your words and the slump on your shoulders.

“I picked you up because I love you. You’re my daughter, my baby and I’m gonna tell you something that hope knocks some sense in that head.” Your Dad sternly spoke, taking your hand to place on his cast, “This? This doesn’t matter. If I hadn’t done this, you would be dead, and I wouldn’t be able to hold a guitar because you wouldn’t get to hear me play. I’d rather not be able to play and have my daughter alive.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks as your hero wiped your tears tugging you in his arms, “Besides I’m a Y/L/N, we don’t let other people tell us how to live.”

Lance leaned over to insert the CD into the machine before pressing play bringing a soft melody in the room. You snuggled into his side as his rich voice broke through into the most beautiful song you had ever heard. Unbeknownst to you, Luke stood in the doorway with his bandmates listening to the gorgeous record.

“I love it.” You whispered glancing over your shoulder, feeling the gaze of someone, and while you expected your mother, the sight was welcome. Not a dry eye in the room as the last chord rang with the joyful voice of a little girl; your voice from a family video.

“That’s beautiful.” Luke breathed grinning when you swiftly made your way into his open arms, “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you like I should have been. I was hurt, and I didn’t want you to see that.”

“Was that the song that was playing- OW!” Reggie exclaimed rubbing the back of his head that Bobby had thumped. The bassist grimacing at the pain clueing that it wasn’t the greatest question he had said.

“Bittersweet was the song playing. This is the finished product.” Lance confirmed standing to his full height, “How about I let you see some unreleased songs?”

Lance ushered everyone but you and Luke from the room for privacy only winking before closing the door. Luke breathed out, leading you back to the couch with his hands squeezing your own.

“You were right,” Luke announced brushing the pad of his thumb under your eye to swipe an eyelash. His hazel eyes showing more of the green with the adoration gleaming from them, “It hurt being rejected but you were right about it. I hurt my parents by running out one them, especially my mom. I don’t want to hurt her more by excluding her from the biggest moment of my life.”

Your own hand raised to cup his cheek heart bursting when Luke turned his head to press a chaste kiss to the palm.

“You couldn’t guess how much it ached telling you no. I wanted to so badly, but your mom was always so good to me. I didn’t want her to miss out on anything.”

“She won’t miss out.” Luke replied, tugging you to your feet, “I went home, and we talked it through.”

Your feet cemented to the floor, “You went to see them?”

“I did. I was no sure Mom and Dad hated me for running away, for choosing music over them.”

“You didn’t choose music over them, Lu. You made a decision that they didn’t like, but you did what you were raised to do. They taught you to stand up for yourself, never second guess or quit.” You passionately told him, “They love you with their whole heart, they just didn’t understand how important music is to you at the time.”

“God, I love you so much. I would do anything for you.” Luke tugged you into his arms, bringing your attention to his different outfit choice.

He was wearing his best black jeans with no holes but still the chains, but his wallet wasn’t on display. His lucky blue rabbit’s foot was clipped to his necklace laying over the long sleeve purple corduroy shirt. The shirt he wore a lot when he wanted to be wanted to a little more dressed up.

“You’re wearing that shirt.” You stated glancing up to the boy, “And your lucky rabbit’s foot is not on your chains.”

Luke smirked, leading you through the house to the backyard where Luke had asked Nancy to be. Your mother sat at the piano with your father beside her, Nancy and Lance Y/L/N hadn’t sat at a piano together since you were tiny. Tears built up as Luke gently brought you into his arms entirely in time with the notes that Nancy began.

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

 “Are you trying to make me cry?” You choked as he used the dance lessons he took with his mom twirling you around. As if you couldn’t cry more your gaze found Reggie strumming the acoustic guitar. Alex waiting at his drums with a grin at Luke and you.

I have died every day, waiting for you.

Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years.

I’ll love you for a thousand more.

Everything faded as you two gazed into each other’s eyes, in his you swore you saw every moment with Luke play. The sweaty palms shy to hold each other to the first kiss, the second kiss, sharing the most vulnerable time at sixteen, his serenading at seventeen after signing with a label and everything between those precious moments.

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything, take away.

What’s standing in front of me

Every breath, every hour has come to this.

Bobby made his presence known harmonizing with you mom so low you barely heard, but it was Luke singing that enthralled you. Everything about this moment you would remember for the rest of your life.

The music faded as Luke took a step back to kneel down in front of you with the ring he had yearned to give you. The ring his mother had held on to for the girl Luke would fall in love with. She had given it a few days previous so thoroughly happy she got the opportunity to pass it down.

“Luke.” You breathed cupping your hands, one still in a brace, over your shocked face. His expression softened into the most loving one you had ever receiving in the years you had been together.

“My life has been leading me to this very moment. I believe that I was guided into music because of this absolutely perfect moment. Surrounded by the people who cheered us on and gave wisdom. The people that gave us a look at what true love is supposed to be.” Luke began keeping his entire focus on the love his life, “I knew about you before you knew me. I was ten when I saw you during recess sitting up against the tree with your walkman. I fell for you at that moment, but it wasn’t until I hit Reggie with the car that I got to talk to you.”

You giggled as you remembered running to a group of guys after seeing one get hit. If only you knew who they were at that time.

“Our first real conversation was at a concert, and I fell in love at that moment, and I am so thankful you gave me a chance. There isn’t anyone else, sorry, Alex!” Luke teased over his shoulder, earning a chuckle in response, “There isn’t anyone I want to spend my life with. You are my muse, the person I share every lyric with, my love and my soulmate.”

“Luke.” You choked reaching up to cup his cheeks so close not a single sheet of paper would move between you.

“Will you marry me? In front of our parents and our friends?” Luke shakily questioned begging for his rabbit’s foot to work with it being close to his heart.

“Yes.” You answered, reaching up to pull his face down to yours. The most passionate kiss of your life he wrapped his arms around you waist lifting you in his arms; he twirled around with you.

This was his most significant moment ever. The Orpheum could never live up to this.

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[xjoonchildx]

airplane, pt. 2 | jjk x reader  chapter two: san juan

pairing: jungkook/reader word count: 6.6K rating: 18+

genre: smut | silly smut | nonsensical smut

warnings:  criminal!jungkook, koreanamerican!jungkook, reality has left the chat, plausibility has left the chat

A/N: okay, ya’ll. I really never intended to make this story anything more than a one-shot...but a couple of people asked for more and then the wheels started turning, and I had more than a little crush on this sexy, smartassed jungkook. so here we are! I hope you guys like it.

xoxo

Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

artwork by the shmexy @ppersonna​ who’s smut is even better than her art

************************

You still think about Jungkook Jeon.

You think about him when you spot his beautiful face on the poster in the hallway at your office, with the word WANTED emblazoned across the top.

You think about him every time you fly because you leave condoms behind in the bathroom like some kind of kinky Fairy Godmother.

And sometimes -- late at night, after you’ve had a glass of wine -- you shut your eyes and think about him when you slip between the sheets and then slip a hand into your panties.

You wonder where in the world he is and how he’s getting away with life on the run -- again.

Though technically he’s not your problem anymore.

The Marshals took over his case after he pulled his vanishing act in Los Angeles, so it’s some other poor sap’s job to find him and bring him in.  You’d done your part -- you’d tracked him down and brought him to the States, even got him before a judge.  

So what happened after that didn’t happen on your watch.

Totally out of your hands.

No reason for you to still obsess over how it all went down.

At all.

Right?

************************

The humidity in San Juan hits you like a wall the second you step out of Muñoz Marín International Airport.

You quickly scan the throng of waiting drivers and find the one holding the sign with your name on it.  The suit you’d worn on the plane is already sticking to the backs of your thighs in this heat.

“Welcome to Puerto Rico,” the driver smiles warmly, offering to take your luggage off your hands. You smile back as you follow him to the line of cars idling outside.

The ding of a text alert distracts you for a moment.  

You pull out your phone and see it’s your boss, checking to make sure your flight landed on time.  The driver opens the car door and you slip inside while he pops the trunk to put your bags away.  

You’re so busy tapping out a response that you don’t realize something is off until the driver raps twice on the back of the car.

Because that’s a signal for the car to go.

Because the man behind the wheel is not the man who just loaded you and your bags into this car.

Because the man behind the wheel is --

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you breathe, eyes wide on the reflection in the rearview mirror.

He’s got a snapback pulled low over his face but you can still see his eyes. And you’d know those eyes anywhere. You’ve thought about those eyes a lot more than you’d like to admit.

“That -- “ Jungkook says, pressing the gas, “-- is the weirdest way to say you missed me, too.”

He tilts his head up so you can catch the reflection of his wide smile.

You are in a car with Jungkook Jeon. In a moving car with Jungkook Jeon.  

“Start talking,” you snap.  

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

You slump back into the seat and clap a hand over your face. Damn this man and damn his stupid, smart-assed, beautiful mouth.

“Where are you taking me?”

Jungkook snorts at the note of panic in your voice.  

“To your hotel, dummy.  You have a meeting in like, two hours.”

“Unbelievable,” you sigh after a moment. “Do I even want to know how you know all of this?”

“Well in my defense,” he starts, “you guys still have really shitty firewalls.  You’ve got a lot of nerve calling yourselves an intelligence agency with that set-up in place.”

“I’ll be sure to pass along your feedback,” you mutter.

“You should. So anyway, I was reading through your emails one day -- you know, as I do -- and I saw you were coming to town. I couldn’t pass up the chance to see you.”

Holy shit.

That’s a lot to take in right now and you’re still trying to process the series of events that led up to you, in a car with Jungkook Jeon.  You keep asking questions because it seems like the only sane thing to do in this entirely insane situation.

“You read my emails.”

“Yeah.”

“How often?”

“Uh….all the time?”

You blow out an exasperated breath.  

“You’re a real piece of work. Just what makes you think I won’t have this car surrounded by Feds by the time we get to the hotel?”

“You could,” he concedes thoughtfully. He looks up from the road for a moment to lock eyes with you in the rearview. “But we both know you won’t.”

His certainty makes you bristle.  Is he right about that?

You force yourself to look away from him and redirect your gaze outside to watch the carefully landscaped palm trees speed by.  He’s been here for some time, you think, as he navigates the streets with ease.  He doesn’t seem to be looking for his next turn or second-guessing which way to go. He’s not even using GPS.

“You are in some deep shit back home, Mr. Jeon,” you say, finally. “You embarrassed them. They hate being embarrassed.”

He chuckles.

“Don’t you think it’s time to drop the formalities, Agent? I’ve had my tongue in your pussy, you know.”

He startles a laugh from you with his casual, crass statement of fact.  You forgot how funny he is -- how smart and affable and completely disarming he is.

“Anyway, that’s their problem, not mine,” he continues. “And not yours anymore either, from what I understand.”

Boy, he really wasn’t kidding about those emails.

You mentally rummage through your inbox, try to imagine what information he’s had access to these past few months.  Countless agency messages, a few personal ones and at least one exchange that could qualify as both. You wonder if he’s seen that one, too.  

You clear your throat, uncomfortable with the thought.

“So what’s your plan, then? Hide out in plain sight in a territory of the United States?”

“It’s worked for me so far, hasn’t it?”

You roll your eyes.

“Anyway, my plan right now is to drop you off at this hotel,” Jungkook says, turning into the drive. “Then you’re going to skip that reception they have scheduled for tomorrow night because you’re going to have drinks with me instead.”

You say nothing for a moment.

It’s absurd that your first reaction to his words is a tingle of excitement. It’s ludicrous that you haven’t picked up the phone to call this in by this point. It’s fucking bananas that you’re picturing yourself sharing a drink with this man instead of having him arrested.

The car rolls to a stop.

“Now, as much as I’d love to act the part of a perfect gentleman and help you with those bags, I can’t,” Jungkook says, reaching for his wallet and pulling out a small piece of paper. “Your hotel is crawling with cameras and believe it or not, I’m trying to minimize the number of stupid risks I take these days.”

You snort.

He reaches behind his seat to hand you the note.

“Meet me at this address tomorrow night at 7 o’clock. Be sure to wear something tight, yeah?”

“You are out of your mind,” you say from between clenched teeth, snatching the paper out of his hand.

Jungkook laughs.

“I know, right?”

***********************************

You should call the Marshals.

You should really call the Marshals.

Why haven’t you called the goddamned Marshals?

“ -- do you think, Agent?”

Fuck.  

You can’t seem to keep your mind focused on this meeting and now everyone around the conference table is looking at you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that,” you’re forced to admit. “Catch me up?”

“I was saying,” Agent Dominguez starts again, “that given the damage done to the office here in San Juan, we should move agents to the mainland temporarily.  Miami, preferably.”

“Yes,” you agree. “That would be best.  Until we can get things back on track.”

Dominguez smiles in a skeptical way, like he knows you’re preoccupied and he’s curious as to why.  You smile back and hope it’s convincing.  

“We’ll have to go over some logistics, of course, after the final decisions are made,” he continues, turning his attention back to the room at large. “But for now, let’s consider that a flight from Miami is just a hop, skip, and a jump.  It makes sense.”

The rest of the assembled meeting guests murmur in agreement.

Your mind wanders back to that slip of paper tucked away inside your bag at the hotel, back to the man who gave it to you.  The ridiculous, self-assured little asshole who just knows you aren’t going to rat him out. Who just knows you’re going to join him for drinks like he’s not an actual federal fugitive and you’re not an actual federal agent.

Dominguez continues to drone on in the background.

“...and if you look at the numbers, you’ll see post-storm crime is actually way down…”

What you would give to be anywhere but this meeting right now.  You pinch the bridge of your nose, shut your eyes and go down the list of facts as you know them.

He’s been reading your emails.

Following your every move.

He wants to see you tonight.

What the hell is wrong with you that knowing all of this excites you instead of freaking you out? What does it mean that a part of you -- a really big part of you -- wants to take him up on his offer?

******************

Dominguez pulls you aside after the morning round of meetings wraps for lunch.  

“Hey,” he says, stopping you in the hallway.  “Are you alright? You’ve seemed just a little off since yesterday.”

“Yeah, sorry,” you say apologetically. “Been feeling a little off these past two days.”

Not technically a lie?

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” Dominguez replies smoothly.

“Hope you’ll be feeling up to attending the reception tonight,” he continues. “I’d hate for you to miss it.”

You offer him a weak smile.  The look on his face right now is making you a bit queasy.

What if they knew? What then?

Once was insane enough. Once could be written off as a mistake, a terrible lapse in judgement.  An embarrassing and regrettable fluke.

But twice? Twice is a choice, a conscious decision.  

Twice would make you complicit -- a co-conspirator, a co-defendant and a whole host of other “C” words you’d rather not contemplate right now.  

There would be no explaining away twice.

You busy yourself with getting a bottled water from the vending machine just to have an excuse to look away. You tell yourself not to be paranoid. You have no reason to suspect they know anything and this is not the time to borrow worry.

“I’m going to try and get some rest after we wrap for the day,” you say finally, opening the bottle to take a drink.  “See if I feel better after that.”

Dominguez’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes.  

“You do that, Agent.”

***********************

Wrapped in a towel, fresh from a shower, you alternate between staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror and looking back at that damning piece of paper in your hand.

You should put on the nice-but-work-appropriate cocktail dress you’d chosen for the reception that you should be attending tonight.  You should drop this piece of paper in the trash, forget Jungkook Jeon exists and move on.  You should be having drinks with your colleagues from the San Juan office in an hour, making decisions that don’t amount to career suicide and living life on the straight and narrow like a normal fucking human being.

Should, should, should.

You walk over to your suitcase and pull out a slim-cut sundress with spaghetti straps instead. You smooth your hands over the delicate material, imagine the light weight of the fabric would feel just right in this humid weather.  You slip the dress over your shoulders, smooth it down with your hands, turn from side to side to assess the fit.

For a moment you close your eyes and allow yourself to imagine Jungkook slipping his hands underneath this dress, pushing the hem up your thighs. You imagine his thumbs and fingers circling the sensitive skin there.  His lips on your neck.  His voice in your ear.

The sound of an incoming text knocks you out of your fantasy and you open your eyes to see your flushed reflection staring back in the mirror. You reach for your phone.

you gonna make it out tonight? [ 5:48 PM ]

You stare at Dominguez’s message for a moment.

Decision time.

Are you?

************************

You’ve been over every step you took before leaving the hotel at least a dozen times by now.

You’d sent Domniguez a text, claiming to be under the weather.

You’d left your phone in the safe in your room.

You’d walked out of the hotel through a service exit and into a waiting car.

All clear, decisive, sane choices despite the fact that you are obviously a crazy person. Because no one in their right mind would be pulling this kind of stunt.

The ride is short, only a few minutes from your federally-funded accommodations to the much more humble beachside hotel where Jungkook told you to meet him. You give the driver more than enough money to cover the fare and tip and step out into the thick night air.  You spot him a short distance away, sitting at a tiki bar just off the water.

Puerto Rico has apparently been very good to Jungkook Jeon.  

He is reclined casually in a barstool, drinking a bottled beer.  The creamy off-white of his linen shirt is a perfect contrast to the deep golden tan he’s managed to acquire these past few months. He’s let his wavy black hair grow long again and it falls just below his ears. The laugh he shares with the bartender reveals his smile and makes him look relaxed and radiant and fucking perfect.

Jungkook turns in his stool just as you approach and the slow, appreciative once-over he gives you makes your entire body feel warm. The corner of his mouth curves up in a half-smile.

Dammit.

You’ve got to get your head on straight.

Jungkook isn’t some hot, available guy you’re trying to land. He’s a wanted man and the fact that he’s sitting out in the open at this tiny outdoor beach bar makes you nervous. It’s a saving grace that the bar is damned near dead but there are still too many angles, too many clear lines of sight. You’re annoyed that he’s being so flippant about keeping a low profile.  

You wait until you are close enough to whisper before you speak.

“This is a terrible idea.”

He cocks a brow. “Drinks?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” you hiss. “We need to go somewhere more private.”

“Christ woman,” he groans. “Don’t you know it’s polite to wine and dine me first? I’m not a piece of meat, you know.”

He grins when you huff your frustration.

“Besides, if you were really worried about drawing attention --” he pauses, rakes an appreciative gaze across your décolletage, “-- you certainly wouldn’t have worn that dress.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake, does he ever turn it off? Is he incapable of recognizing how risky and fucked up this situation really is?

“You’re an idiot,” you bite out, turning to leave -- but Jungkook grabs for your wrist.

“Relax,” he soothes, pulling you back.  “Seriously.  I have the situation under control.”

A charged moment passes as you give him a long look. His hand remains firm and warm around your wrist.

“Do you trust me?”

What a ridiculous question.  

What you know about Jungkook Jeon could fit on an index card, and what little information you do have doesn’t exactly do him any favors. You’re putting your career -- potentially even your freedom at risk even being here.

But something about the naked sincerity on his face makes you want to trust him.

God only knows why.

You take a deep breath in and out before sliding into the barstool he’s pulled out for you.  The bartender smiles from a few feet away, makes his way over.  You tense, turning to face away and Jungkook puts a steadying hand on your knee.

“It’s cool,” he murmurs. “He knows me.”

“Why on earth do you think that’s supposed to make me feel better?” you fire back.

“I think -- you just need to have a drink,” he reasons, eyes sparkling. He lifts his beer to his lips and you catch yourself staring for a moment at the way the tendons in his arms flex, the way his lips slide over the mouth of the bottle.

Has the simple act of drinking a beer always looked that masculine?

Shit, you do need a drink.

You order a mojito without ever looking the bartender in the eye. Whoever he is -- Jungkook’s buddy it would seem -- he’s understanding about your appalling lack of manners. He can probably recognize a truly fucked-up situation from a mile away and is steering clear like someone with an inkling of common sense.

For his part, Jungkook has dropped the flirtatious act for a moment and the small smile that plays across his face is calm and reassuring.

It works.

“Alright Jeon,” you sigh after a moment. “Let’s talk. How did you do it?”

He takes a long drink of his beer.

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

You’d expected as much. You would bet everything in the bank that his parents helped him get out of Los Angeles.  The kind but guarded look on his face is the closest you’ll get to a confirmation of that fact.

“Ask me anything else.”

“Fine.  How did you pull off the stunt at the airport?”

“Oh, that was easy,” Jungkook teases. “I found the driver holding your name card and offered him twice the fare. He was happy to help me out. Nice guy, actually.”

“He’s lucky you didn’t cut me into pieces,” you grumble.

Jungkook laughs. “You’ve got a wild imagination. Besides, who wouldn’t trust a face like this?”

To make his point, he turns from side to side to offer you a better look at his profiles. Outwardly you roll your eyes, but inwardly it’s hard to ignore the sharp line of his jaw, the perfectly symmetrical angles of his face.  You take another long drink from the cocktail in your hand.

“Why Puerto Rico?”

“Why not? The scenery is beautiful, the food is delicious, and people know how to mind their own goddamned business,” He takes another sip of beer. “Besides, you guys didn’t exactly leave me with a lot of options when you took my passport. And hey -- thanks for that, by the way.  Finding a good fake is a real bitch.”

“We’re not travel agents, Jeon,” you snort.

He laughs.

“So this -- “ you motion to the small building attached to the tiki bar, “ -- is where you’ve been staying?”

“Dammit, woman — I said ask me anything, not everything. You’re not wearing a wire, are you?”  

He grins at the glare you fix him with.  

“I’m kidding, obviously. No way you’d be able to hide a wire under that delightful little number.”

He chuckles when you flush.

“So yeah, this is one place I’ve been staying. Mostly locals around here.  After the storm, so many new people turned up to help rebuild that it’s been pretty easy to blend in with the new faces.  Plus, it’s not hard to find work.”

“So you’ve got this all figured out, huh?”

“Some of it,” he demures, and you can’t help but notice he’s managed to slide a little closer.  His proximity is distracting. You’ve only had one drink and you already feel a bit lightheaded.

Jungkook scrubs a hand down his mouth, fixes you with a long look.

“Now it’s my turn to ask a question.”

“Fair enough,” you concede.

“You gonna go to dinner with him?”

You exhale a nervous laugh against the rim of your glass. You’d wondered if the series of back-and-forth emails between you and Agent Kim Namjoon would come up. You should have known it would.

Agent Kim’s last email came this week. It said he would be traveling to Los Angeles for some training soon.

It said that he wanted to take you to dinner.  

You should have fired back an enthusiastic yes! right away because Agent Kim is hot and smart and to your knowledge has zero outstanding warrants.

But you didn’t.

Jungkook tilts the mouth of his beer against his lips.  

“Well?”

“Yes,” you say, finally.

“Don’t.”

The reply is so abrupt, so emphatic that you have to laugh.

“Why?”

“He’s an empty suit. A cardboard cut-out. Not right for you at all.”

The smirk on Jungkook’s mouth indicates he’s teasing, but his tone indicates something else entirely. The territorial current that runs under his words is annoying and exciting and complicated.

“He’s just trying to fuck you, you know.”

You raise an eyebrow at that.

“Oh, and you’re not?”

“No,” he murmurs, leaning close. “I have fucked you. I plan on fucking you again. He and I are not the same, at all.”

His words set off a throb between your thighs and you shift uncomfortably in your seat, uncross and recross your legs.  Jungkook leans back, looking satisfied with how much he’s managed to unnerve you.

“So this is some kind of pissing contest?”

You laugh to keep the sounds of your words light, but your words come out uneven. “You stalk my inbox for months and abduct me from the airport to what -- keep me from fucking Agent Kim? You hate him that much?”

“I don’t give a shit about Agent Kim,” he snaps. He takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“You know what this is about. Don’t play with me.”

He’s right, of course.  You do know what this is about.  

It’s why you fucked him in an airplane bathroom against all rules of decorum and common sense.  It’s why you’re here, making stupid decisions and taking dumb risks instead of back at your hotel playing it safe. It’s why you’ve never been able to stop thinking about him.

Something connects you to this man, something you don’t really understand -- and now you know for a fact that whatever it is, it isn’t one-sided.

Your body is rigid, unnaturally still as the bartender drops off new drinks and you immediately reach for the glass, if for no other reason than to stall.  Jungkook takes a long sip from his new beer before speaking again.  You can feel his eyes on you but you don’t look back.

“I like you.”  

No sarcastic quip follows. No charged sexual innuendo.  Something about that simple admission is more intimate than the fact that he’s literally been inside you.

“You don’t know anything about me,” is the only thing you can think to say.  

Jungkook shoots you a playful smile.

“I know you like mojitos.  I know you have a standing appointment with some fancy hair salon in LA every six weeks.  I know you order Chipotle far more than is necessary or probably healthy.”

He leans closer and the look on his face changes into something different -- something that makes you shiver.  He slides his hand under your jaw, tips your head up, strokes a thumb across your cheek.  

“I know what you sound like when you come,” he whispers. “I know I’d like to hear that again.”

Oh, God.

This must be what it’s like to drown. To see your demise play out before your eyes but still feel powerless to stop it.  Every smart-assed retort you could fire back dies on your tongue and all you can do is blink when Jungkook brushes his lips against yours.

“And I know you like me too,” he whispers against your mouth.

He’s right.

You do.

You really, really do.

*****************************

It’s like a switch flips inside your brain.  Once you start kissing him, you can’t stop.  

You both fall through the open door to his room in a tangle of limbs and lips.

Jungkook lifts you up off the floor and you immediately wrap your legs around his waist, never stopping the assault on his mouth and skin.  He moans when you lick a stripe up his neck. He tastes like salt and sunscreen and sex and you are so desperate to feel him inside you that you can’t think straight.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he protests, walking you both over to the mattress.  He drops you unceremoniously on top of the bedding.

“Stop.”

“God, no,” you groan, panting.  “Why?”

He takes a deep breath in and out, shoves a hand through his hair.  

“I promised myself I was going to take my time with you if I ever got this chance again,” he explains, voice ragged with arousal. “No cuffs. No rush. Not this time.”

You huff in exasperation and climb up onto your knees on the mattress.  

Jungkook’s eyes widen when you drop both hands to the hem of your dress and pull it up and off in one swift motion.  You’d had to forgo a bra given the skimpy nature of your sundress and it’s easy to forget he hasn’t really seen you naked. The look on his face says he heartily approves.

“Take your time later,” you fire back.  “Take your clothes off now.”

Jungkook laughs.  “Are you always this bossy?”

“Yes.  If you wait one minute longer I’m going to sober up and realize this is a terrible decision. Take your clothes off.”

“Hush woman.”  

He silences you with mock annoyance as his fingers drop to work the buttons of his shirt. You catch your mouth before it drops open as he pulls the shirt off, exposing the chiseled planes of his body.  You swallow thickly when he drops the garment to the floor.  

No human being should be allowed to look like this.

It’s obscene.

The tattoos that run across his hands and forearms extend up to his shoulders, across his chest. The defined lines that outline his abdomen are made even more plain by his deep breaths.  He is -- hands down -- the sexiest man you have ever seen in your life.  

“Shit Jungkook, you’ve been holding out on me,” you breathe, a note of awe in your voice.

“And I knew you had amazing tits,” he grins, shoving his jeans off his hips. “Lie back.”

The gruff command makes your body tight with anticipation.  Jungkook’s face is damp with sweat, locks clinging to his brow when he sinks down onto the mattress and crawls until he’s hovering over you.

“Goddamnit,” he whispers, slanting his lips over yours.  “Goddamnit, I’ve been thinking about this for so damned long.”

You sigh into his mouth.

Me too, you want to say. But you don’t.

“I’ve thought about the way you taste every single day, did you know that?”

He circles one aching nipple with his tongue and teeth.  You whimper at the heavy drag of his tongue.  

“I’ve imagined getting my mouth on you again far more than is normal or sane,” he whispers against your skin, pulling the damp lace of your panties off your ankles and tossing it away.

“Jungkook,” you whine. “Please.”

His lips skate over the sensitive skin between your breasts, across your stomach as he slides downward.  Your body stills when you feel his lips at your entrance, breath warm against your wetness.  

The first touch of his tongue is quick, teasing.  You’re wound so tight your hips jerk off the bed at that light contact.

“Easy girl,” Jungkook teases, sealing his mouth over your clit.  The strong fingers of one hand press into your hip, grip you tight to keep you from pulling away.  He slips one long finger from his other hand inside you to join his tongue in the all-out assault.

“God you are sexy,” he groans, licking deeply into you.  You grab handfuls of his damp hair in between shaking fingers.   “You’ve ruined me for all other federal agents, you know.”

Your laugh bleeds into a gasp when Jungkook slips a second finger inside of you, presses harder against you with his tongue.

“Oh, shit,” you whine, legs trembling. You roll your hips mindlessly, enjoying the way he moans in response.

“You gonna let me hear it again?” his words vibrate almost painfully against your already aching clit. “Be as loud as you want this time, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you sigh in agreement, feeling that telltale prickle building between your thighs.

He sets you off with the firm press of the heel of his hand on your mound.  You can’t control your body’s reaction when the pressure against that sensitive wall and the stimulation of your clit combine.  Your back arches high off the bed when you start to come apart, moaning wantonly.

Your orgasm seems to go on and on forever and Jungkook whispers words of encouragement as you ride it out.  He doesn’t stop with his tongue and fingers until you start to quiver from the overstimulation, breaths hitching when shudders run up and down your back.

“Dammit, Jungkook,” you gasp once you regain control of your ragged breathing.

He laughs as he kisses his way back up your body, across your chest and neck.  You welcome the press of his body when he settles over you.  He grinds his hips down and you whimper at the feel of his rigid cock straining against his boxers.   You clench hard at the memory of him deep inside you.

“Take those off,” you order, scraping your teeth against the damp skin of his neck.

“Ask me nice and I might consider it,” he teases.

You shoot him a playfully disapproving look before pushing against his shoulder until he rolls over.  His eyes fall shut when you climb over him and drag your drenched center against the firm outline of his cock.

“Fuck, that feels good,” he whispers, and you lean forward to seal your lips over his.  He pants into your mouth as you rock against him.

You slide down his body after a moment, hooking your fingers into his boxers and pulling them down with you.

The thing about your hurried little encounter inside that airplane bathroom is that it’s hard to remember the details.  It was so rushed and illicit and bizarre that you can barely recount what he felt like, what he looked like in the moment.  But right now -- when his cock springs free and he looks down at you from beneath heavy lids and he looks so sincerely fucked out -- you make sure to commit this moment to memory.  

Jungkook sucks a strangled breath between his teeth when you take him in your mouth.  His fingers immediately wind into your hair and you sigh around his length when he groans his satisfaction.  His hips jerk when you pull off of him, dragging your tongue against the sensitive spot under the head of his cock before releasing it.

“Shit,” he moans, “I forgot how good you are at that.”

You laugh and wrap one hand firmly around the base of his cock. He’s already leaking at the tip and he hisses when you sweep your tongue across the swollen head. He gathers your hair in his hands, pulls gently on the strands but you can feel the restraint he’s exercising. His body is radiating tension, taut with unspent energy.  

“You can get rougher if you want,” you breathe, pumping him steadily with your hands.  

His agonized groan tells you he’d love to take you up on that offer.

“You can’t talk to me like that,” he pants, words sounding pained. “I’m doing everything I can not to literally blow my second chance here.”

You release his cock with a smile and he pulls away to shift his body up the bed. He reaches into his bedside table and pulls out a condom.  He holds it up for a moment and the two of you share a knowing laugh.

The laughter dies the moment you crawl up the bed to join him and take the condom out of his hand.  Jungkook’s eyes are dark and focused as you rip it open and roll it down his straining cock.  Once it’s in place he steals the air from your lungs with a deep kiss and pulls you onto his lap.  

You’re struck still for a moment when you look down at him just as you are lining him up with your entrance. He looks back at you with those blown-out pupils and kiss-bitten lips and you lose your momentum.  You should say something or do something but it’s so damned hard to focus when he’s looking at you like that.

He brushes a damp lock of hair away from your face with his fingers and fixes you with an expectant look.

You want to tell him how handsome he is.

You want to tell him that he’s the most interesting person you’ve ever met.

But you don’t.  

Jungkook rescues you from your sudden crisis with a well-timed tease.

“You’ve been rushing me since we got here,” he chuckles, brow raised. “You’re gonna leave me like this?”

He grabs the base of his stiff cock with one hand, rubs the head against your clit to make his point. You answer him with a desperate kiss, swallowing the groan he makes when you finally sink down.

His hands move to either side of your ass to guide the movement of your hips.  Your first few thrusts are hesitant, shaky as you adjust to the feeling of him deep inside you.  He feels harder and thicker than you remember.

“Oh, god --” you moan.

You feel his faint hum of satisfaction against your breasts.  He tongues messily at your aching nipples, sucks them into his mouth.  His fingers dig into your ass as he thrusts up to meet your thrusts down.  

His mouth is full of you. His hands are full of you.  You are full of him.  The feeling of filling and being filled is unbearable at this point.  It’s so much stimulation at once that it borders on painful.

“Feel so good wrapped around me like this,” Jungkook groans. “I can’t get enough.”

Me neither, you want to say. I’ve been dying to feel you like this, you nearly whisper.

But you don’t.

You feel disoriented for a moment and grab onto the headboard for desperately needed balance.  It gives you the leverage you need to take him deeper, faster, and the steady rhythm of his thrusts and breaths starts to pick up in speed.

Then you make the mistake of opening your eyes and looking down into his face.

He is covered in a sheen of sweat, eyes hooded and mouth slack with pleasure. He fixes you with a look so erotic you nearly blush.  It’s pretty ridiculous to be literally riding a man’s cock and feel suddenly shy, but that’s exactly what happens.  

You force yourself to close your eyes.

Jungkook buries his face in your neck. You feel one of his hands move away from your hips, down to where the two of you meet. The rough pad of one thumb starts to work your clit and the stimulation distracts you for a moment, makes your rhythm sloppy.  

“I want to feel you come,” he breathes, teeth grazing the sensitive skin of your collarbone and neck. “I want to know what it feels like when I’m inside you.”

“So close,” you whine on a shaky breath.

“I’m gonna go off like a bomb,” he groans, stroking so deep you see stars.  “Take me with you.”

If it weren’t for the one hand keeping you anchored to the headboard, you’d have collapsed onto him with the sheer force of your orgasm.  You whimper as Jungkook’s orgasm rips through him, body shuddering as he pounds harder and faster.  It takes a few frantic, frenzied moments for his rhythm to slow and his moans to subside.

Then you do slump onto him, spent and sweaty and rubbery with utter exhaustion. You’re both still for a moment, damp bodies pressed together as you both catch your breath.

He brushes your hair away from your face and presses a soft kiss to your temple.

***********************************

You take a shower together.  

Afterwards, you both fall back into bed clean and warm.  

You make good on your promise to let Jungkook take his time this go-around.  He fucks you slow and relaxed from behind while you lay side by side.  The steady lap of the waves outside his window is a perfect backdrop as he whispers into your ear and buries himself deep inside you.

Afterwards, everything is still but the waves.  

You both enjoy the complete silence for a while.  Your stroke your fingers across the strong forearm Jungkook has wrapped around you and he breathes deeply into your hair.  It feels natural, somehow.

It feels good.  

You can’t remember the last time anything felt this good.

“Stay with me,” Jungkook whispers after a while, nosing into the nape of your neck.  He drops a soft kiss on the sensitive skin just below your ear.  

“I can’t,” you whisper back.  “I have a meeting first thing in the morning. Don’t tell me you skipped that email.”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“I wasn’t talking about tonight.”

You go rigid from head to toe.  Maybe you didn’t hear that right.

“What?”

“Stay with me,” he says again, like it’s going to make more sense the second time he says it. “We could go all over the world and eat the best food and fuck in the most beautiful places.”  His fingers stroke up your side, sending chills up your back. “It could be great.”

You wait for him to laugh.  He doesn’t.

You pull out of his hold, flip your body so that you’re facing him.  You expect to see his teasing smirk staring back, but you don’t. He looks serious.

“What the fuck was in that beer, Jeon?”

He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now,” he says quietly. “You could think about it for a while.”

You stare at the side of his perfect profile, dazed for a moment by the strange combination of feelings swirling inside you right now.  

There’s disbelief at the insane Bonnie and Clyde fantasy he’s decided to pitch.

There’s disappointment because there’s a tiny part of you that wants to entertain that fantasy.

And there’s a little bit of heartache because right now he looks so lonely.  

That’s the part that gnaws at you.  It makes you feel raw and exposed.  So you do what you know best and try to redirect with humor.

“Who’s got a wild imagination now, huh?”

His lips twitch into a wry smile.  

************************

You’d waited until you were certain he was asleep before slipping out of his arms and out of the bed.  He slept heavy, not stirring once while you slipped into your clothes and shoes.  He slept like someone without a care in the world.

Hardly.

It had taken a moment to find a piece of paper.  It was only just as you were about to give up that you remembered Jungkook’s note, tucked safely into your bag.

You looked back at him in the bed -- studied him for a moment before quietly scrawling a note on the other side of that piece of paper.

you know i can’t. i’m sorry.

[salamencerobot]

All deltarune reactions and spoilers for chapter 2 under the cut! After I post this if I have any extra reactions they will be tagged deltarune and deltarune spoilers, so feel free to block those tags!

Ok so 1 fuck toby fox where the FUCK IS THE HEART also I swear someone called that the knife was gonna be used for pie eating. Also how did I not sleep in MORE from that, I should have gone into a food coma

Hiiii susieeee nice to see you!! Wanna go exploring again?!

JDHHDHSD JESUS CHRIST DONT JUMP SCARE ME LIKE THAT I'm glad I can see your eyes still, that's a good thing to keep.

FUCKIN WAIT UP AHHH

it's gonna open to nothing isn't it. We wait what, a year? For just a cliffhanger? That'd be hilarious

HOLY SHIT LYNXGRIFFIN CALLED NOELLE JOINING US THE FUCKING READ OF A LIFETIME

.. ok both of these answers suck. Do I go with be gay do crime or do I go with the love triangle answer. Also damnit no noelle joining us.

SHE LOVES YOU YOU STUPID BUTCH DINOSAUR

Goddamnit.

Ok VERY COOL TRANSITION SCENE.

RALSEI!!

God the pixel art is very well done. Good animations.

"enemies you spare will be recruited to our town" god could you imagine if deltarune ended up being a town building game? Funniest shit.

GOD WHAT IF IT TURNED INTO LIKE POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEONS?? ID FLIP SHIT DBDGGD

Very cute rooms

Aw we gotta leave? Sadge

Fiiine school project time.

OH SHIT LYNXGRIFFIN CALLED THE DARKROOMS BEING ALL OVER TOWN!! GODDAMN!!

WAIT DID NOELLE GO DOWN THERE?! OH NO

Oooh gween!!

NOELLE!!

Ohhh what the FUCK is that bullshit Nuh uh I'm not being no puppet what the fuucck

Oh thank god you're here ralsei

...are all of the dances based off of charlie brown? Cause I recognize ralsei's, but can't figure out the rest

Mk so in the second part of the story we fight across a long area where we are taunted by our enemy only for the platform we're on to run out of room and dump us in the trash. Again, Undertale parallels here. Wheres mad dummy

Oh Susie is REAL touch starved huh

Oh ffs I wanted Susie time.

Oh fuck yeah Noelle team time- ah. You're really gay huh.

I'm at the meetup scene and GOD I'm glad that alphys and Undyne got most of the pining done off-screen fhdhhdhdh JUST KISS ALREADY DAMNCCHN

Oh good job not getting caught ralsei

Oh dear he's not liking the digital dark world huh.

SUSIE DONT EGG THE FUCKER ON WE'RE GONNA BE HERE FOREVER IF HE DOES THE PUZZLES

YOOO FUR BOY WITH THE FULL SUIT LETS GOO we're ignoring birdboy YOOOO RALSEI POP OFFFF

Mmmh I hate birdboy. Also rip lancer.

Hm... Yeah aight Noelle I get your crush, Susie has the buff rescuer aesthetic.

Oooh shit the dream lie backfired hdhdhdh

AWW NOELLE NO SHE WUVS YOU

Oh that's fucking soft. You gave her a fucking pencil and she just said "aight yeah she's safe"

JDHDGDH THE BACKFIRE OF A FUCKING LIFETIME. God imagine if the screen had been bigger, and Susie looked over, saw the ferris wheel, and just knocked Noelle out so she didn't have to deal with that.

Jdhdh

Awkward fucking teens

AWW NOELLE!!! THAT'S SO SWEEEET!!!

Aight imma need a poster of these two to go next to my alphyne one.

AWW WAGGING TAIL? FUCK THATS CUTE

...

...

...

Aight I'm killing bird bitch. Gonna have fucking turducken.

'oh the good part of the dream is over' AYYYY

Oh please don't try to confess bird bitch... Please..

Oh thats even funnier. Jdhdhdhd THEYRE LESBIANS HAROLD

YEAH CHOKE HIS BITCH ASS OUT HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! DELETE HIM!!

Rip ralsei.

Aight I think this is the final fight so I stocked up on cd bytes.

..oh what the fuck did she do to Noelle.

GET HER ASS SUSIE!!!

...?

Ah. Yeah that... That would be an issue huh.

Hey I noticed the robot but you are a narcissistic bitch I assumed it was a giant statue

I've learned from Steven universe that non-human lesbians can always save the world. Let's do this.

Oh god what are these dumbasses doing. This better be fucking sick.

Oh that is just a clusterfuck huh. I'm glad they didn't try to make it look cohesive it's just a fucking mess I love it.

Wait holy shit she's mettaton mixed with white diamond what the shit?m

WAIT SHES REALLY WHITE DIAMOND WITH THE MIND CONTROL AND EVERYTHING

Ok I'm loving the old super punch out style of fighting it's really fun but I also suck at it.

8-bits fuck off

oh please dont--THANK YOU RALSEI

Ooh it's so important it gets a Capital Letter

HOLY SHIT THE EYE PATTERNS FROM CHAP 1. also I get the moral lesson you gotta balance fiction and reality

I swear to god if Susie kisses her cause Noelle will think it's fake when she wakes up I'm gonna throw hands.

Thank GOD.

Mk fountain time.

HEY SUSIE WHAT THE FUCK DONT SLAP ME

Hm. I like how it encourages you to go to your town, it give it a nice calm wind-down from the adventure.

JFHSHDHD SUSIE YOU EAT CHALK WHAT DO YOU THINK SHES TALKING ABOUT YOU HOOLIGAN??

..why is Susie looking up?

...that is just unessecary. Ow. Out the window, really!

JFHSHDHD MOM SWORE

... why did nobody check on kris for that time? That's just sad

I can't really enjoy chilling with Susie, I just feel sad that nobody checked up on kris.

Aaand she's out.

And then I had that thought, that only blackout drunks and Kris can have. "did... Did I do that?"

OH AGAIN? REALLY??

Oh that's really not good. Uh. Uh oh. That's a Problem. I'm sudden-NO!! FUCK OFF FLOWEY YOU BETTER STAY BACK IN UNDERTALE YOU FUCKER!!!!

ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT.

..was that speech I heard at the end of the credits song?

WAIT SEVEN CHAPTERS I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE ONLY 5?? ooh we getting dlc after the 3-5 pack drops

[votederpycausemufins]

The rescue commences. But it’s going to be harder than Tommy thought because the bots aren’t so keen on being rescued.

the tagged people i like! @petrichormeraki @helleborusangel

Xannes spoke Jrum’s name as a question and immediately all eyes were on him. Xannes tried to keep from cursing in front of the kid, but it was a little hard when he saw even more red. Did he just change his face to match the room, or did he just do that whenever. “Xannes? What are you doing here?”

“You know this guy?” The demon asked in a wary tone.

“Yes he does. As for the question, NPG found out about the situation with your disappearance and I offered to come looking for you.”

Jrum’s face instantly lit up and in a moment he was running over to hug the helsmit. Xannes almost accepted it too, since the kid probably had been terrified in an unfamiliar place. But just at the last second, he saw the red plants that coated Jrum’s body and he took a step again. “Sorry. Still not a hugger.”

Jrum pouted and crossed his arms, but didn’t actually seem too upset. “Well, you came at the best possible time! Is NPG going to show up too?”

“Unfortunately not. I don’t think he can get in and I haven’t figured out what’s causing it yet.”

“Aww… It would have been nice…”

“So, what’s going on here?”

“This is the Red Banquet.” The demon spoke, looking much less threatening now that he knew Xannes was a friend. “We’ve been planning this little party for a while and I’m sure other guests will be arriving shortly. You’re just a bit early.”

“Is that why the entrance was covered up?” Xannes asked, glancing behind himself for a moment, both to look at the entrance as well as from the feeling of being watched.

“Yes, I hope you didn’t hurt them too much.”

“Hurt… who?” Xannes asked nervously and suddenly he realized just exactly how off this all felt.

“The Egg of course! It’s the source of all the plants around us!”

Xannes glanced at Jrum. “Alright, why’s he got the things growing in him? I’d think that wouldn’t be good for his body.”

“I’m just fine! Better even! I can do things all on my own and don’t need any of Grum’s stupid help.”

That made Xannes realise that the other of the two bots was indeed missing. “Wait, where is he?”

“I don’t really know. I haven’t seen him in a while. He could be dead for all I care.”

The helsmit looked back at the people gathered around the table. This really did seem all too familiar. And that wasn’t a good thing. He remembered having NPG finally getting the turquoise infection out of his system so he could deal with the rest of the similarly infected helsmets of turquoise and magenta spores. “I’m guessing HEP is less of a problem here?”

Most of the people at the table looked confused, but of course Jrum wasn’t, and surprisingly, neither was the demon. “No! We crushed them into the ground, and if any of them wants to live, they’ll come here!”

Xannes choked in surprise. Okay, it looked like those plants were really getting to him. “Well, looks like there’s still a few kicking around.”

“Really? Who? Is it Grum?!”

“Nope. Sorry kid.” Xannes added enchantments to his sword as he pulled it out. “Guess I’m just following in my brother’s footsteps, huh.”

And then chaos broke out.

Tommy had no idea how different the SMP would be when he got back. He expected more of the same, people around making destructive chaos and probably new posters and creeper holes. But the red shit all over the place was different. Plus it didn’t look like anyone was really around.

Before moving anywhere, he pulled out the comm Grian had given him and sent him a message.

<NPC_GRIAN> Alright, made it in.

<NPC_GRIAN> Wait was this NPG’s

He waited, but a message didn’t come in right away, so Tommy put the comm away to start looking. He didn’t know what exactly the plants were, but enough crazy things had happened in this world, so he mainly just ignored them, not caring if he did touch them. One thing that did get his attention was a poster that the plants were bordering. It was inviting people, Tommy assumed anyone, to the Red Banquet. Whatever that was. At the very least that likely explained the lack of people.

Tommy continued walking, poking his head into just about every building to hopefully find someone, but there was still nothing. He was hoping for at least someone to be around to tell him what was going on, but it didn’t look like that was the case. “How the fuck does everyone go to the same fucking thing? And where the fuck is it?”

No answer came for Tommy, so he ended up going into his old home, though it looked like someone had been living there. Connor, if the signs were telling the truth. “Well, let’s see if any of my shit is still here.”

Tommy honestly couldn’t remember what stuff would have been there, but there were still some items that he thought would be good to have on him, just in case. As he was rummaging around, the door behind him opened, and Tommy turned around to see who it was. Tommy’s fight or flight response immediately activated when he was staring at the admin, who was surprisingly just staring back at him.

“D-Dream…”

“How the fuck did you get here before me?!”

“Bitch I’ve been gone for months, you had plenty of time to visit this place. That’s only going to be your fault.” Tommy retorted, forcing himself to have some confidence.

“It is possible a teleport was used if he was aware of your destination.” Another voice spoke and Tommy lit up for a second.

“Holy fuck, Grum! That was easier than I expected. Where’s Jrum?” Then he stopped when he finally saw Grum and the state he was in. In his anger, he pulled out his borrowed sword and pointed it at Dream. “What the fuck did you do?” 

Before Dream or Grum could say anything, Grum suddenly turned around and drew a weapon, deflecting an attack from behind. “You done running yet?”

“How are you-”

“You! You goddamn bitch!”

“You’re supposed to be in prison!”

“What is going on?!”

Grum slashed at Theseus’ legs before answering. “The one currently attacking us is an alternate form of bzzt from a separate universe. The one we discovered is the one you are likely more familiar with.”

“Yeah green bitch! What are you going to do with two of us?”

Dream looked like he was about to attack, but then he was grabbed by Grum. “Commencing emergency escape.” And then the two of them disappeared.

“Fuck, now they’re gone.”

Theseus stepped into Tommy’s old house, holding his axe at the ready. “How did you get out?”

“Hey, you really want to kill me? Wouldn’t that end badly for you?” Tommy took a step back.

“Answer the fucking question!”

“Your Phil let me out when he realized you weren’t in the hels dimension anymore.”

Theseus spoke another curse under his breath. “Well, you better not get in the fucking way.”

Tommy crossed his arms. “Hey, I’m just after Grum and Jrum, and seeing as how he’s…” Tommy trailed off for a moment, remembering Grum and how he reminded Tommy of himself when he was in exile. “He’s got Grum, so as long as that’s the case, I’m after him too.”

“It’s a lost cause. That thing is better used for scrap metal. Though hopefully after I’ve gotten Dream back to hels.”

“Wait, why do you want that?” Tommy asked. Why would anyone actually want Dream around and not just kill him. “Didn’t you kill your version of him? Why get a replacement?”

“Because I wasn’t finished dealing with the first one.” Theseus answered, then put his axe away. “Let me do what I’m here to do, and maybe I’ll help with your little problem. Got it?” And before Tommy could answer, his hels version was gone.

Tommy wanted to follow, but first pulled out his comm to send an update and hope Grian had responded. He smiled when he saw that he had, but then confused when he saw there were other messages. He read them off, then sent some messages back.

<Grian> That’s good to hear. And yeah it’s his. He never used it so I ended up keeping it on me and never got it back to him.

[Eyes] X-1, Y-1, Z-1

[Eyes] X-2, Y-2, Z-2

[Eyes] X-3, Y-3, Z-3

<NPC_GRIAN> I got good, bad and unsure news

<NPC_GRIAN> Good, I found one of them

<NPC_GRIAN> Bad, something’s seriously wrong with him cause Dream did something

<NPC_GRIAN> weird, just got message from something/someone called Eyes giving me three sets of coordinates

<NPC_GRIAN> any way to use this thing to look at my coords?

Tommy stood there, waiting for a response. When one wasn’t coming in, he started fiddling with the comm to try and figure it out himself. Just as Grian got back to him, Tommy figured it out.

<Grian> Seriously wrong how?

<NPC_GRIAN> Looks damaged and isn’t showing much emotion. Also working with Dream? But the bitch tried convincing me he was my friend so could be the same sort of thing

<NPC_GRIAN> also figured out coords

Tommy switched back to the coordinate reader and started shifting around, trying to figure out which direction was which. It seemed like the first and second set of coordinates were about the same distance from where he currently was. Because of that, he started to head towards the first one listed. While he was walking, another message came in from Grian.

<Grian> That was fast. Anyway, what do the other messages look like?

<NPC_GRIAN> I started working on it when you didn’t get back to me immediately.

<NPC_GRIAN> looks like: [Eyes] coordinates

<NPC_GRIAN> doesn’t look like a player’s text, but also not sure what could message me, so that’s why I’m not sure.

Tommy groaned when a message didn’t come back within the next few seconds. What was Grian doing that was causing such a delay. Maybe it was just the way these comms worked? Once Grian got back to him, he could bring it up.

<Grian> Yeah, that looks like something else. And what do you mean not immediately?

<NPC_GRIAN> I’m guessing it’s something with these comms. It’s taking you ages to send a message back.

He had nearly reached the coordinates when Grian got back to him.

<Grian> Meanwhile I’m getting your messages all at once like they were pre-typed. That’s not a good sign.

<NPC_GRIAN> Well shit

Tommy stuffed the comm in his pocket and started running. He was close enough to tell that the coords were for the house that Tommy had never seen before, but recognized just the same due to it looking more like something out of Hermitcraft. He slammed the door open and started calling. “Jrum! Hey Jrum are you in here?!” There was no answer and Tommy checked the communicator again. He was just about at the right coordinates, but the Y value was a little off. That probably meant that the location needed to be exact, and Tommy looked down at the comm to make sure he lined up exactly. Because of that, he didn’t realize he was about to walk into something until he crashed into the charger and fell to the ground.

“Oh that’s a big charger. Why’s it so huge?” He looked between the coordinates again. “Oh. I’m guessing something’s in there.” Tommy broke into the charger’s casing and poked his head inside. For the most part, it was just a jumble of redstone, but in one corner was a torch lighting up a barrel. The teen pulled himself inside just enough to open the barrel and pull the contents out, that being a single unsigned book.

Tommy looked around before going over to a table and sitting down to read the book. He sent another quick update to Grian before opening it up and reading. It seemed to be a lot of notes written down, filling the pages. None of them were complete sentences, and the ink stains made Tommy imagine a number of them were written in a rush.

Zoning out = DSMP console program. QHHBP program active? What's KGADOOHM and HJTHJ? Connected to K⊣OOᒲR? There’s a vault. It’s for favorite things. Items and animals. I couldn’t write right. I think I zoned out there and fell. Posters of 2 music discs. Coords: X-3, Y-3, Z-3.

Tommy looked at his comm and noticed the third set of coordinates matched the ones written down in the book. Obviously he would need to go there. But Tommy continued reading, messaging Grian what was written down.

Woke up in pain. Programs were running too much. Don’t know why. Managed to unplug and drain battery. 873.5% of what. It was connected to ⎓⚍リ↸||?

Jrum officially moved out. He likes the red plants. I don’t. They’re not natural. Admin keeps visiting. Asking questions. Not sure how to feel. ⎓⚍リ↸|| visits too. Those are nicer.

Tommy flipped through more pages. More questions and confusion. Some did end up as full writing while others were just more quickly written words to convey an idea. With the mention of Jrum, this was obviously something Grum wrote, but there was almost too much here. Then Tommy stopped and read another entry.

Jrum officially got adopted. I don’t understand how I feel. It hurts but I’m also happy. He’ll stay away, but it just reminds me how hurt he is. How scared I feel. I miss my dads. Why didn’t they find us?

Jrum got adopted? Grum wondering why Grian and Mumbo hadn’t come for them and missing them? That wasn’t good. And based on the messaging problem, Tommy had an idea why.

<NPC_GRIAN> Another page implies they’ve been here a really long time. Explains why the server’s so different and how Dream was able to get Grum to that point.

<NPC_GRIAN> also you’re probably going to have to fight for custody or something because someone adopted Jrum.

Since Tommy knew he wasn’t going to get an answer back soon, he went back to reading. The messages seemed to be shorter and shorter, the handwriting becoming more messy. Tommy assumed that was because of them being over time and Dream breaking the bot down more and more. Then he got to a list which he immediately typed up and sent to Grian.

<NPC_GRIAN> Found a list of names or something. Obviously seems important.

<NPC_GRIAN> List: Grum, Dream, Gorgeous, Poultry Man, Eyes, Console

<NPC_GRIAN> I don’t know if it’s a code or just names or what. But since I got messages from ‘Eyes’...

Tommy closed the book and put it in his inventory. There was still more to read, but he already got information from it and was losing time. For now he needed to go to the second coordinates.

Xannes just stood, not even reacting when the first person attacked him. Their axe blade was aimed right for his chest, no armor there to stop it, but the weapon bounced off, causing no damage. Someone else attacking had the same reaction. “Sorry, but doesn’t look like your weapons are really working right now. Too bad since I’m sure mine will work fine.” And he swung his sword, hitting the next person who attempted to fight him. They were set on fire due to the fire aspect as well and being knocked away, slamming into the wall from a high level knockback.

From there, Xannes continued to attack, even getting a little cocky about the fact he couldn’t get hit in his current player-mode. Because of that, he was easily caught off guard when the demon grabbed him, forgetting he was only invulnerable to damage. While it didn’t hurt when he would have otherwise been crushed to death, now he couldn’t move at all.

His best shot was to try and get the demon with his sword. Demons were normally connected to the nether and his aetherite sword being an opposite of netherite tended to have a worse effect on them. But before he could get far with that plan, the weapon was taken away, and since he wasn’t in hels, his hacking capabilities couldn’t get him a new one. Potentially he could summon it back to himself, but that would be a little more complicated to use and could cost extra seconds he wouldn’t have.

“Why did you come if you’re just here to hurt me?” Jrum asked, clinging to the cat hybrid.

“I was trying to find you and your brother to take you home.” Xannes grunted, struggling as much as he could to get out. “I didn’t realize you’d be mind controlled or whatever this is.”

“I-I’m not being- and why would you want to take me home?”

“Uh, because your family is worried about you and helping out is the ‘good thing’ to do and all that bullshit.”

Jrum crossed his arms. “I don’t want to go. They just left me here, and… and now I have a new family!”

Xannes was about to speak up, but then he was squeezed a bit harder for a moment, pushing the air out of his lungs for a moment. “And we’re not letting anything happen to him, so if you’re planning on hurting him, you can think again!”

Xannes was wheezing slightly, trying to breathe. Suffocation like this was weird. Technically it couldn’t kill him or cause actual damage, but it still managed to cause a type of ghost pain. It was getting to the point where he was worried about managing to pass out, when there were voices. They sounded distant and unfamiliar, but getting closer. For a moment, Xannes thought he was imagining it, but the fact that the people around him were reacting to it too made him realize it was real.

People started appearing from the entrance, all of them wearing what Xannes was pretty sure looked like hazmat suits of some kind, but he couldn’t be absolutely sure from this distance and his current situation. What he could be sure of was the yell that came, and the chorus of the same response from Jrum’s new ‘family’.

“Jrum!”

“Tommy?!”

Tommy was almost to the second set of coordinates when he saw something different. It was a person. Well, not just a person, but a number of people. “Hey! Heeeey!” He yelled out to get their attention and most everyone looked over, showing a mix of emotions from surprise, to fear, to acceptance.

“Is that Tommy?”

“No, Tommy’s dead. Dream said so.”

“Well he lied bitch!” Tommy said, finally reaching the group. “What the fuck is going on around here?”

“I think you need to give answers first.”

Tommy groaned a little. “Okay fine, I ran off, started living somewhere else. Tubbo thought I was dead and pulled me back. I didn’t want to come back and brought Tubbo with me, and then Phil and Techno followed. I’m back ‘cause some kids ended up here on accident and I’m after them.”

“Are you talking about Grum and Jrum?” Tommy was pretty sure that was Puffy.

“Yeah! Any clue where Jrum is, cause I’ve seen Grum.” Tommy watched as a few people glanced at each other. “Oh fuck, what’s wrong?”

“First, you need to put a hazmat suit on.” Someone stepped forward, and Tommy was surprised to see it was Sam, looking a little odd without his creeper mask on, unable to wear it with the rest of the suit. 

“Can I ask why?”

“See all the red plants? Bad found something underground and started worshipping it. It’s started corrupting people, and one of them is your friend.”

“Shit.” Tommy said, grabbing the offered suit and putting it on. “You said Bad and Jrum, who else is down there.”

“Ant, Punz, Purpled, Ponk, Fundy, also someone named Hannah, you wouldn’t know her. She joined while you were presumed dead. We’re still unsure about Sapnap since he’s been trying to stay out of it, but Bad was really trying to pull him in.”

Tommy nodded, then realized that if Bad was the person in charge and tried pulling Sapnap in, then he also likely tried with- “And what about Skeppy?”

“He… he was involved.”

“I’m noticing the use of that in the past word shit. That mean he got out or…?”

“Last week Bad ended up getting him killed.”

Tommy’s eyes widened. If this thing could get Bad to kill Skeppy, it was really dangerous. “Alright, then let’s get in there.”

“Wait, you need a few things.” Sam started handing him items as other people in the group started moving. “These splash bottles are filled with holy water from church prime. They seem to help against these plants. Flint and steel to burn anything you're able to break. It needs to be fully burned or it can heal itself. Also don’t actively try to break anything except the source which looks like a giant egg. Trying to break anything is like it has a thorns enchantment. You get hurt back if you try to break it. Same thing happens with the main source, but it hurts you more, so you’ll need the extra health.”

Tommy took all the offered items, then followed the group down. He kept his sword at the ready, even testing it with one of the vines on the walls. Ow, yeah, that did hurt. So it didn’t look like the different material would help anything. Tommy was mostly willing to help, but he also knew that trying to get Jrum out of there would probably be a better priority since that’s what he was there for anyway and getting rid of any member of this evil group or whatever it was would help.

The moment he got down into the main cavern, he called out Jrum’s name. “Jrum!” He then watched as the people who had already been down there turned to look at him, surprised to see him alive.

“Hey! Theseus copy! Say yes!” Someone spoke up, and Tommy vaguely remembered the voice, but couldn’t place it. He had no idea what it would do, so he ended up saying yes anyway. Immediately, he regretted it as the sword in his hand disappeared. But that was followed by a yell from Bad, and Tommy saw him let go a person who was now holding the pink sword. “Thanks.”

Tommy caught the sword as it was thrown back to him, the other person he now recognized as Xannes slamming himself into Ponk and taking another aetherite sword from him. “Now what are you doing here?”

“Got Grian to send me in as back up. I see you found Jrum.”

“Yeah, the little shit has the weird vines growing on him and apparently has decided that these idiots are his family now. Bit of a downgrade if you ask me.”

Tommy slashed at someone who tried to attack Xannes from behind. “Yeah, found a book that I’m pretty sure is Grum’s. Apparently they’ve been here a long while and Jrum ended up getting adopted.”

“Hasn’t it been just a few days?”

“Yeah, so obviously there’s a big issue. Any chance you can teleport us out of here if I grab Jrum?”

“It would be easy if I had some coordinates.” Xannes knocked someone to the ground and then stole their axe before throwing it at someone else to hit them with it.

“Yeah, I’ve got some. X-3, Y-3, Z-3. That work for you?”

“Sure they’re safe?”

Tommy shook his head. “Not at all, but they were sent to me by someone, and the previous two ended up helping.”

“Alright, but if you get us trapped, I’m getting myself out and leaving you behind.”

“Yeah whatever, I already broke out of one prison. I’m sure there’s nothing as tough as that one.”

“Oh please tell me you didn’t.”

“Alright, I won’t.”

“Goddammit. Just grab Jrum and bring him here..” the helsmit groaned, attacking another corrupted SMP member and giving Tommy an opening.

Tommy ran towards the bot. He didn’t have as good of a sword as Xannes, so getting through everyone was a bit tougher, but he finally made it, grabbing the bot’s arm. Jrum immediately turned to look at him. For a moment, Tommy thought it would be easy, until the kid pulled out an axe and something Tommy recognized flashed on screen. “Oh shit shit shit! Jrum Jrum Jrum Jrum no!” He barely dodged the swing of an axe by jumping back. Sure, Jrum was a kid, but he was a robot kid. That sometimes took combat lessons from False. And he could remember them perfectly. And that meant the kid could potentially be as dangerous as, dare he say it, Techno.

He tried to keep dodging, moving back so Jrum would have to follow, but hits were landing, and the hazmat suit wasn’t the best armor to wear. He hazarded a glance behind him to check how close they were to Xannes, but he got an axe to his gut and fell to the floor, the hazmat suit now torn. “Xannes! A little help!”

The admin rushed over, hitting Jrum back with a fist to avoid using knockback but also keep him from killing Tommy. Then he hit a button on his helmet and the three of them were teleported away. The sudden change of scenery made Jrum stop attacking at the very least, now focused on figuring out where they were.

“Where did you take us?! Where are we?! Take me back!”

“No fucking clue.” Tommy answered, looking around before his eyes widened. “Wait, are those…?” He jumped up, seeing the posters of his discs and the two of them each on their own pedestal on a platform of gold blocks on either side of a nether portal. “My discs!”

He started running towards them, but was shot from the side. The power from the punch bow pushed Tommy with enough force, he fell back down. He winced and held the wound before looking to see who had shot him. “Dream…”

“How did you find this place?”

“That would be my doing.” Xannes raised his hand for a moment to get the admin’s attention before noticing the second robot. “And I see you have Grum with you.”

“Grum?!” Jrum looked over, asking the question angrily. “What, you couldn’t be dead?!”

Grum took a slight step to the side to be seen better. “And I see you are with these two. I believed you to have finally given up, but yet you still cling to meaningless hope.”

“No! I have a new family! I don’t care about these two.”

“And yet here you are, with both of them and coming after me. I thought I made it quite clear that I have no want to be around something as useless as you.”

“I’M NOT USELESS!” Jrum shouted before running at Grum, fast enough that Dream reacted by simply moving out of the way, pulling out a shield in an attempt to block. Jrum attempted to attack with his axe, but the blade just clashed against another axe in Grum’s hand. Jrum attempted to attack again, but it was also blocked by a mirrored move. The two robots just started to fight each other, neither managing to hit the other as they perfectly matched each other’s moves.

Dream attempted to stop the fight with an attack of his own, but he ran into an invisible wall. Feeling around, he was surrounded by the same problem. “Barrier blocks. Sorry, but not something you can escape from. You’ve got bedrock right below you and I know you decided using a console was the best option for whatever reason, so you don’t have any escape.”

“Alright, now let’s break the bots up.” Tommy said, walking towards them, switching his broken hazmat suit for armor. 

“Where’d you get all that gear?”

“Sto- uhhh borrowed it from NPG. It was the only thing I had access to and didn’t want to have absolutely nothing. Didn’t get a chance to replace it cause I got here too quickly.” Tommy explained before getting between the bots. “Alright you two, break it- ow! Stop hitting me! You’re gonna kill me!”

Xannes sighed and pulled Tommy out from the battle. “That was probably the worst idea.”

“It was at least something. So unless you want to suggest something, it’s the best we got.”

“Here’s an idea. You give Dream to me.”

Tommy and Xannes turned to see Theseus coming out of the nether portal. “After that, well, don’t get in my way anymore and maybe I’ll let you live.”

[arigatouiris]

i’ll remember you // kuroo tetsuroo x reader (1/3)

Author’s Note: I absolutely adore the movie Kimi no Na Wa, and I guess this is a sort of reprised version? Don’t ask me how I got the idea, I have no clue lmao. Just started writing it one day and this is what I came up with. I gave it three parts because the whole thing is quite long. Do tell me what you think! 

Word count: 4243

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuroo x Reader [Kimi no Na Wa re-write]

Summary: Everything had been perfectly normal until you woke up as a volleyball captain from a school you didn't go to, in a city you didn't live in. Ever since then, Kuroo Tetsuroo has been inching closer and closer into your life, wrecking almost everything that could perhaps be considered normal.

However, you never realized how vital he was to you; because you were sure you would understand upon seeing him.The struggle however, was remembering each other. Because what good would it do if you went to saw him and he didn't remember you? 

Well, the universe turns back time, of course. Until he did.

Warnings: angst, body-swapping, fantasy, reader is depressed, mentions of suicide, character death, slow burn, bittersweet end, awkward boners, mentions of porn

ｃｈ． ０１ — ｃｏｕｎｔｒｙ ｂｕｍｐｋｉｎ

You could not remember how you had fallen asleep last night.

You woke up with a faint stinging in the back of your head as if someone had hit you with a ball. You groaned, but you sounded gruffer than you'd remembered; as if you had an itch in your throat that you couldn't quite clear off. You felt as if your entire body had been stretched out longer than you were and it was strange, it wasn't as if you were injured or anything. You just cried yourself to sleep because you were turned down by the person you had a crush on for quite some time now. Letting out a breath, which you swore sounded like someone else instead, you raised yourself to come face to face with a room you had never seen before.

You could hear vehicles on the road outside, and your eyes narrowed, trying to decipher what was going on. You probably were still dreaming, that's for sure, since the first thing you'd always saw when you woke up was the window right in front of you. Now, there was no window but just a plain grey wall with a poster of a rather weird looking rat-like thing with a robot on its back, and the window instead was near the table with stacks and stacks of books lying on top of it. For a dream, this had way too much detail, but it wasn't as if you could complain. At least you weren't dreaming of Akio-kun, so that was something.

    "What in the world?"

Your eyes widened instantly before your hand went to wrap around your throat; and you let out a squeak, which again, didn't sound like you. Your heart was racing now and you searched for the bathroom in this dream and rushed inside, and your eyes came in contact with one of the most handsome boys you had ever seen. His hair could use a fix-up, but considering how you'd just woken up, you guessed this is how his bed hair looked like. His features were incredibly well-divided, his teeth were perfect, and he was freaking tall.

You were somebody else. Somebody handsome. Your eyes widened before feeling something heavy downward, a strange warmth spread all over your body when you looked down to see something poking out through the boy's underwear. Your face instantly reddened before screaming, not thinking if he lived alone or if his family could hear. You didn't care; you were not this boy, you were in a strange place.

Running back to the room, you tried to look for anything that made sense, anything that could let you know who this person was and how it was that you got here. It had to be a dream, but you had slapped yourself or him enough times to wake up but you were still here. Panic rushed through you, but perhaps it was because this boy didn't have terrible anxiety like you, you could strangely calm yourself down. You found his phone and thank goodness it didn't have a pin, because, for the life of you, you didn't have this boy's memories.

What the heck, you thought, and even your mind voice changed into this boy's voice and it unnerved you. It wasn't as if you never dreamed of something like this, but for it to actually happen in such great detail, it didn't flatter you; it was a big inconvenience. At least I don't have to face Akio-kun, you thought before opening this boy's phone, and learning that he was perhaps an anime fan.

You discovered through his text messages that his name was Kuroo. You were yet to discover his first name, but that was for later. You were in Tokyo, a city far, far away from your own, a city you had never been to but had always wanted to go and live in, and you had discovered that he was the volleyball captain for his school. You remember playing a little bit of volleyball back in middle school, but you were a second-year high school student in Fukue Gakuen, sports weren't as prominent as teasing girls and crushing on boys. You'd learned that Kuroo was best friends with someone named Yaku (or you weren't sure if the members in the group were being sarcastic, for this Yaku person did not even like being addressed in such a way), and there was someone named Kenma. You'd heard of Instagram but students from Fukue generally spent more time gossiping than on their phones, especially with limited internet access.

You guessed things in Tokyo were different since the internet was relatively quite fast here. You clicked on Instagram before thinking you were blessed. You tried as hard as you could to memorize how the volleyball team looked, how Kenma looked, and in each and every one of those pictures, Kuroo himself looked rather dashing, and you wondered if this dream would end soon or not.

    "Tetsu!" An ugly voice rammed itself into the room and you almost dropped your Kuroo's phone.

You turned around to spot a middle-aged man with a stubble, a nasty frown on his face which died down on seeing you there, standing with your phone, in the middle of the room. To whoever this person was, you were Kuroo and you decided to stay mum until he left.

    "Ah, you're awake. Damn, thought you were still asleep," The man rubbed the back of his neck, "You're going to be late for school, moron. Go get ready. And," He cringed before pointing to your pants, "Take care of that, for god's sakes."

Your face reddened before your hands rushed downward, feeling Kuroo's private parts sticking out uncharacteristically. You knew why this happened, and even if you were from the country, that didn't mean you were unaware of the morning wood. You had a friend who'd given you all the unnecessary details, especially when you didn't want it.

    "Uh, so... Who are you?" You asked, taking a risk.

    "Ah?!" The man didn't even look offended, "Your goddamn father, go wash the sleep off your face, Tetsu!"

Oh, so it was his father! You wanted to ask him how to get rid of the morning wood in other easier ways, but you guessed that Kuroo or Tetsu wasn't such a person. You took a breath before heading inside the bathroom to take a shower, hoping it'd eradicate your problem. You were accustomed to calling Tetsu's body as your own now because this was where you were for the time being, and it didn't make sense that you had to correct yourself constantly. You found his uniform sprawled on the nightstand, which made your eyebrow twitch with annoyance; whoever this Kuroo was, he sure as heck didn't care how he looked like. Despite looking like a demigod, you thought before putting on your shoes.

You didn't take a peek at his... private parts. You took a bath with his underwear, trying hard not to drool over how toned his body was. Maybe, he took the whole volleyball thing quite seriously; you'd heard of how Tokyo schools were all about championships and leagues, and the volleyball scene was quite huge in Japan. You managed to change his underwear somehow and put on new ones with your eyes closed and it was then the most important thought, the one you had been sitting on all this while, hit you.

What if he's in my body!?

Your eyes widened and your hands flew to your face, but somehow seeing Kuroo with his hands on his face made you blush harder at how out-of-character it was. You didn't even know who this Kuroo person was, but giving him feminine mannerisms made you feel weird.

He better not have... You thought before feeling uncomfortable, but there was honestly nothing you could do at this point. Perhaps, he was just as weirded out, perhaps, he was just as confused as you were and wouldn't try to do anything stupid.

You didn't know how to get to school, but it was something you knew you'd have to solve. Grabbing everything that he otherwise needed, his wallet, his bag, and a small part of you was excited that you were getting to travel in Tokyo and live a day in Tokyo as someone else. Despite how different it felt. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you walked out of the house, and on your way out, you noticed how the house looked. It was a simple-looking house but the lack of woodwork made your feet feel weird. Kuroo wore indoor slippers, and so did his father, and two others who looked like they were his grandparents. Where's his mother? You thought in Kuroo's voice before noticing his father approach you.

    "Eat," He snapped, "Don't walk out without eating."

    "Okay."

For some reason, Kuroo's father turned and looked at you with a funny expression. He was just as tall as Kuroo, which must have explained where the height came from. You cocked your eyebrow at him, wondering if you had said anything strange, but you were sure you hadn't.

    "We've got toast." The dad mumbled quietly before walking away, coming to place something on the kotatsu.

You found it rather easy to sit and get back up, but toast for breakfast? You were more of a rice and egg person in the morning, but perhaps Kuroo didn't pay attention to what he ate. After breakfast, you ignored the weird look Kuroo's father was giving you before heading out, to find Kenma waiting outside the gate, playing something on a weird horizontal device.

    "What are you doin' here?"

Kenma paused the game before turning and looking at you, cocking an eyebrow at you funnily.

    "Waiting for you, did you forget that we go to school together?"

    "Ah," You rubbed the back of Kuroo's neck, "Must'a slipped my mind—"

    "What's with the country accent?" Kenma mumbled before putting his game inside and you froze.

You completely forgot about trying to maintain an accent. You weren't sure if you could tell Kenma what had happened, but you knew that if someone were to come and tell you they had slipped out of their body and entered someone else's, you'd definitely not believe them, and not only that, you'd worry for their mental health.

    "I was watching something last night," You tried to shake off Kenma's suspicion, but every word that slipped out of your mouth sounded disastrously weird to you, "Don't mind me."

    "You're acting strange, Kuroo."

    "I said don't worry about it." You looked away.

Kenma was perhaps as tall as you were in real life. Kuroo was certainly tall, and you believed he was probably one of the tallest in his school. Well, I'm glad I don't have to find my way to school, you thought before following Kenma, following after every one of his actions. Taking out the card that he used for the train, taking a right when he took a right, taking a left when he took a left—strange, you thought before noticing the school in the distance, I think we took a long way around.

    "Right, so spill," You heard Kenma say, grasping your wrist, "Who are you?"

Eh? Your eyes widened and you instantly blushed at his question. How the hell did he get to know? What was he even suggesting?

    "What? Kenma-kun, I—"

    "You are definitely not Kuroo. I had my suspicions, but the '-kun' confirmed it."

You were sure you were panicking now. The school was just meters away and Kenma had thrown a bomb at you. Whoever this little rat was, he was sure as hell was perceptive. You tried to breathe, but the anxiety was starting to bubble in your chest. Turning to meet Kenma in the eye, you gave him a worried expression, which he just ignored.

    "Lemme explain, I ain't from around 'ere."

Kenma nodded, "I figured as much. How are you here?"

You shook your head, "I 'ave no clue. I just woke up and I'm 'ere. I'm not even from Tokyo!"

Kenma sighed, before leading you inside. He gestured you to follow and handed you something from inside his bag. It was a face mask. You took it from him before hearing him say,

    "Don't talk to anyone. Just tell them you have a cold."

You narrowed your eyes. This Kenma person seemed almost prepared for something like this. Was it something that happened a lot with Kuroo? As strange as it sounded, was it your first time and not his? You put on the mask quietly before following after him, before tugging his sleeve. Kenma paused before swatting your hand away.

    "Kuroo doesn't do that. We'll talk during lunch. Go to class 3-1."

    "Okay. I'm sorry."

He gave you a strange look but ignored you. It was funny how Kenma and Kuroo didn't share a class, but that didn't matter. The mask helped. However, Kenma hadn't told you where you sat, and the class was already occupied. Oh no, you thought before scanning your eyes all over every desk in the classroom. Where does he sit? Does he sit by the window like an anime character? Where does he—

    "Kuroo-san," A voice sounded from behind you and you froze before turning to see a teacher, "Please go to your desk—oh? Are you sick?"

You gave her a helpless smile before realizing that the mask must have covered most of your smile, so you were just closing your eyes at her. She sighed before pointing to a particular desk, and said, "Go."

You nodded before thanking her a gazillion times inside your head and sitting over there. Homeroom was quite strange; the kids were just minding their own business and some of the students weren't even paying attention to what the teacher was saying. You wondered what kind of student Kuroo was, but taking one good look at his notes made you understand just where you were sitting.

He was in a college preparatory class. This Kuroo person was a smartass.

He was good at subjects you were terrible at. Math. Chemistry. Physics. He was great at those, but he wasn't too bad at biology, English and Japanese. Both of you seemed to dislike history, but you didn't think literature was too bad, but Kuroo hated it. He refused even to take notes of the same. Your fingers loomed over his notes and despite the terrible handwriting, you could tell that he worked hard.

    "Kuroo-san," The teacher sounded, offering you a soft smile, "Please get better soon."

Your eyes were wide at the sudden show of concern and you smiled before nodding and realized that no one in class even paid attention. Some of the girls came over to you and asked you if you were alright, but just from one look at them, you realized they were trying to flirt. You didn't know what annoyed you, but suddenly, you saw yourself in one of the girls, and how you'd throw yourself at Akio-kun. Was this how it felt? You thought before clearing your throat.

    "Girls, I really can't talk right now." You tried to say in your fake city accent and heard moans of disapproval from them.

You wanted to snap at everyone personally and tell them that maybe Kuroo didn't care about them at all. Maybe, this Kuroo person was a flirt with no mind, who'd callously play with the emotions of the girls around him, only for his own benefit. And since he was from the city, he might even... he might even do some illicit activities like drugs or such. You didn't know who this Kuroo person was, but you were hoping Kenma would fill you in. If this was the life you had to live from now, a part of you worried that it would remain this way. Lunch break didn't come too early. By the time it was lunch hour, you almost felt like you indeed had a cold, and you rushed out immediately to spot Kenma standing by the door.

    "Kenma-kun!"

He winced at what you called him before saying, "Drop the -kun, damnit. Kuroo never says that!"

You felt your heart shrink from being scolded, but nodded before following him. He turned to you and gave you a look before letting out a sigh.

    "Let's go get lunch first."

    "There's a cafeteria 'ere?"

    "It's a regular school. Of course, there is. Unless the school you're from doesn't have a cafeteria—"

    "We prefer takin' bentos."

Kenma and yourself managed to buy some more bread before you realized that the city folk ate a substantial amount of it. A few minutes later, Kenma began eating while walking and you just stared at him like he was committing a crime. He shot you a look before smirking and continuing his eating. The two of you walked to the roof, which was considerably less occupied than you had imagined.

    "I really thought there'd be more people—"

    "Have you watched the movie 'Kimi no Na Wa'?"

    "What?"

Kenma let out a sigh, "This happens in the movie. I'm surprised it actually happened, and to Kuroo nonetheless, but the movie prepared me, I think."

    "So you knew somethin' like this was gonna happen?" You asked, narrowing your eyes.

He shook his head, "I didn't say that. Just... Familiar with something like this. Not sure why it happens and I seriously hope you're not from a remote country village that's going to be destroyed by a meteor."

You felt a shiver run down your spine, "I am from a remote country village, though... I—I'm from F-Fukue I-Island, i-it's the l-largest island i-in the G-Goto—"

    "Relax, your island isn't going to be destroyed." I think, he thought but decided against telling you.

    "How long is this goin' to happen for?" You asked, folding your arms in front of your chest. Standing there as Kuroo made you feel a tad bit confident, judging from how tall he was.

    "Well, not sure if you're following the movie's timeline, but it happens for a while on random days. You can insert notes in Kuroo's phone for him to see so that you two can communicate whenever this happens. Text yourself to let him know."

    "What if it isn't Kuroo that's... that's in my body?"

    "Highly unlikely."

    "But you just said that this hadn't ever happened before!"

Kenma sighed, before chewing on his bread, "You have to trust me," He said, right before taking another bite, "Besides, it's not like you can go to anyone. No one will believe you. Especially since that movie's a bit famous, they'll just think Kuroo's playing with them."

    "Does he play around often?"

Kenma nodded, "All the time."

You groaned before feeling tears prick your eyes, "What was the point of the movie? When did it stop?"

    "When the... male character and the female character met each other. And they saved the village that the female character lived in."

    "You said—"

    "I know what I said. I'm just... maybe, you have to identify what's lacking in your life and see if Kuroo has it."

You were quiet. The only recent sadness or void in your life came from being rejected brutally by Akio-kun. Your mother and you shared a strained relationship, your father had passed away long ago, your younger brother was an absolute pain. The other family you had, your aunt, lived in Tokyo, and you'd always wanted to live with her considering you were closer to your mother's sister than your mother herself. Most days you didn't even want to get off the bed. If Kuroo was in your body, you knew there was quite possibly nothing he could do that could make your life worse there.

    "What's your name?"

    "(s/n) (y/n)." You said, now looking at him.

Suddenly, Kenma's eyes widened at what you said.

    "What?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at you.

    "What do you mean what?"

That's the name of the girl who....

    "Nothing."

That's the name of the girl who died three weeks ago.

The day passed by quite normally. Kenma thankfully had informed the team that Kuroo was sick and practice had been pushed to another day. Apparently the coach scared the boy, and it wasn't something that you could relate to. You'd left a note behind on Kuroo's phone, 'This is (s/n) (y/n), I hope my life didn't scare you too much!', but secretly wondered if anything strange had happened. While heading back home, you asked Kenma if Kuroo and his dad were distant.

    "Hm, you could say that," Kenma said, clearly not wanting to talk about it, "Kuroo's mom passed when he was a kid. They moved here and became my neighbor. He was silent then. I think I preferred that."

You giggled and said, "You guys must really be close."

He shrugged, "I guess. We've always known each other."

    "Which was why you could figure out that I'm not Kuroo."

Kenma was quiet. He'd asked you to watch the movie to understand a little more about what was going on between you and Kuroo. However, there was something else that Kenma had discovered that he wasn't telling you. If you were a year younger than Kuroo, which was what you'd mentioned, then that meant you in Kuroo's body, were from the past. Because the 'you' in the present had died three weeks ago.

It was something he knew he had to discuss with Kuroo if he hadn't figured that out already.

Just as you reached Kuroo's house, you smiled at him before saying, "Here's hoping I don't see you again."

Kenma chuckled before waving at you, knowing full well that this was going to happen again. Just as you walked away, Kenma turned to a building opposite to where he lived and let out a breath. (s/n) (y/n), huh, he thought before rubbing the back of his head, This is fucked up.

Kuroo's dad wasn't at home when you reached home. Perhaps, he was out for work? You could hear soft snoring coming from upstairs, and you figured that it must be his grandparents.

Kuroo lives with his father and grandparents, Kenma had told you. He has a permanent bed head, and his father loves him but has a temper. Kuroo hates yelling, and he thinks people who yell are degenerate, although sometimes, he gets loud himself.

You walked into Kuroo's room and let out a breath. You set his bag down and removed his uniform, before ironing them and placing them neatly in a hanger and letting them hang from the door. You tried to rid him of his bed hair to no avail, and you opened one of his books before writing another note.

I'm sorry this happened, and I'm aware that if you were living as me for a day, it must be a bit hard. But, I'm glad it's over now. I'm glad you're back to being Kuroo Tetsuroo again. And I hope it never has to happen.

When night came, you decided to eat your fill. You felt bad enough for Kuroo for having to live as you. Turning on the movie Kimi no Na Wa, you tried to watch, trying to learn what this meant. Strangely, Kuroo had already seen it since his computer had a folder that said 'Favorites' and this movie was in that folder. Back in Fukue Island, you prided yourself on how you could use the computer better than your classmates, but clearly, you weren't a genius. The movie was playing, but you couldn't hear it. Shooting a text message to Kenma, you hoped the boy could answer.

Instead, he called you.

    "Kenma-kun," You could picture him wincing, "Can you please tell me what to do 'ere? I'm not able ta hear anythin'."

    "Just check if it's in mute. Kuroo watches porn in mute."

Your face reddened and your eyes widened at the sudden burst of information, which you only chose to ignore. Finding the mute button, you sighed before thanking Kenma and then another thought struck your head.

He'd watched porn right before I touched it!

The shock had the laptop falling off your lap and onto the floor, a clear crack presented on its screen.

    "What was that?" You could hear Kenma's alerted voice at the end of the phone.

    "N-Nothin'!"

Oh no! You felt tears prick your eyes at how broken the laptop was. Scrambling to the floor, you closed the laptop before rushing over to the notebook and writing another note right below the one you had already written.

I'm sorry about your laptop! I really am!

You slapped your forehead, no Kuroo's forehead, and groaned before collapsing on the bed. Your heart was beating rapidly, and there went every chance to watch a movie that could have otherwise explained to you what was going on. If Kuroo's watched it, then he probably understands this better than I do, you thought before letting out a breath. Closing your eyes, you felt sleep pull you into a lull, a sort of comfort you hadn't felt in a very long time. The sound of your mother's voice calling you for breakfast rang in your ear; you honestly missed her with every fiber of your being.

Missed her? You felt a tear leak out of your eye. She's still alive, though...

[goldenraeofsun]

in my defense, I have none

A redo of the first installment of this verse!

Castiel scrawls his name on a nametag and offers Becky at the makeshift welcome desk a hesitant smile.

She beams back. “Hope you enjoy the reunion!”

Castiel strides down the familiar halls of Edlund High School and does his best not to regress to his teenage self, dodging glances and hunching his shoulders to make himself smaller. It’s been ten goddamn years; he has changed. 

He passes a couple of his old classmates - he doesn’t recognize them - pointing at a poster with old pictures, excitedly naming names.

“Look at Dean Winchester, oh my god, I haven’t thought about him in years! I had the worst crush on him, you know?”

Her companion snorts. “You and everyone else.”

Castiel snorts. Everyone else, indeed.

He walks deliberately on, following the music to the gym. The bass thumps in a vaguely-familiar rhythm, but Castiel can't name the song or singer for the life of him. In high school, he didn’t listen to much contemporary music. His mother preferred the classical stations at home, and Dean, of course, only played his version of the classics in his car.

“Music stopped being good after the mid-80s,” Dean said as they drove down the dark highway, no headlights, only them. “Don’t let anyone ever tell you any different.”

Castiel doesn’t remember what he said in return, but he remembers the way Dean laughed, how his eyes crinkled, how he tapped his fingers along the steering wheel, how he looked, looking back at Cas.

Castiel steps into the reunion. The gym has been festooned with what looks like old prom decorations. Streamers hang off the walls in Edlund’s school colors, and bunches of mostly-inflated balloons are taped along the collapsed bleachers spelling out their graduating year. A slideshow of old yearbook photos flashes against the far wall of the gym.

Castiel stares out at a room full of strangers.

Inwardly, he sighs. He was hardly a social butterfly in high school. The exact opposite, actually. He can’t name a single person - except one - that would be able to put a name to his face. 

“Clarence!”

Make that two. 

Castiel spins around at the familiar voice. “Meg?”

He should have known. But if Castiel has learned anything over the past few years, it’s Meg Masters defies all expectations. He’d been surprised enough when she marched right up to him at his old school - Morning Star Academy - and asked him out to lunch.

After listening to him awkwardly explain that he was gay, Meg rolled her eyes and told him she just wanted to catch up. They had gone to the same high school, she said.

She didn’t seem very bothered when he said he didn’t remember her. All she did was make him pay for that first lunch, and that was the extent of his punishment for forgetting. 

When Castiel took his current job at Carver Preparatory in their hometown school district, they started meeting up for drinks instead of lunch.

Meg smirks. “I didn’t think you were going to this little shindig.”

“It didn’t come up,” Castiel says distractedly as he scans the gym.

“Yet here you are, skulking the old hallways.”

“I didn’t skulk.” Castiel turns to her, offended.

“Unlike some people, my memory of high school is impeccable,” Meg says loftily, “You skulked in that coat with all those books in front of your face. I was always surprised you didn’t mow down more unsuspecting freshmen.”

“I -” Castiel breaks off, unable to deny any of her accusations. It’s true he wore his old trenchcoat nearly every day (in his more poetic moments, he saw it as a foil to Dean’s everpresent leather jacket) and he tried to shut everyone out by reading while walking from class to class.

“Don’t worry about it,” Meg says with an easy pat to his shoulder. “Teenagers are the worst. I thought I was so cool back then, with the boots and the bleached hair.” She shudders at the memory.

“I’m sure you were very cool,” Castiel says diplomatically.

Meg snorts. “You bet your ass I was not cool.” She tips her head over to where a group of well-dressed alums stand below the basketball hoops. “They were cool. And now look at them.” She sighs. “I would still set their extensions on fire if I could. Oh well, some things never change. Look at Victor. Talk about aging like fine wine.”

Castiel vaguely recognizes some of them from the poster outside the gym. But for the life of him, he can’t identify which one is Victor.

Meg smiles at his clueless expression. “You seriously didn’t pay attention to anything but your books?”

“I - ” Castiel breaks off, the faintest twinges of embarrassment curling in his gut. He paid attention to exactly one thing outside of his studies in high school.

Meg eyes him critically. “You’re usually chattier than this. I think you need a drink.” She steers him towards the makeshift bar on a folding table.

With newly acquired drinks, they retreat to the far end of the gym. Meg makes a game out of forcing Cas to try to name people from their class.

“I want to say, Jeremy?” Castiel guesses as Meg not-so-subtly points out a man at the end of the drinks line.

“Close,” Meg says with a smirk. “That’s Gordon Walker. He was captain of the football team.” She subtly points to a very pretty woman scrolling through her phone near Gordon.

“She looks like a Mina to me,” Castiel says critically.

Meg throws him an incredulous look. “How did nobody know you were gay in high school?”

“I’m guessing her name isn’t Mina.”

“Bela Talbot,” Meg corrects. “You don’t remember her English accent? Pretentious as fuck. Just like Principal Crowley - not that you have to deal with him any more, since you’re over at Carver, you lucky bastard.”

Crowley was one of the main reasons Castiel left Morning Star. In tightening the budget, he cracked down on students’ late lunch bills among other unacceptable measures. Crowley was not pleased when he found out Castiel regularly squirrelled away peanut butter and a loaf of bread in his desk for emergencies. 

Castiel tried to explain it was for his lunch emergencies, but Crowley wasn’t hearing any of it. Castiel was fired, and, after a harrowing year of substitute teaching, he used his family connection to get his current job at Carver Preparatory. 

“Eliot,” Castiel tries next.

“There isn’t a single Eliot in our class,” Meg says, laughing. “How can you not remember Lee Webb? He wore that stupid cowboy hat all sophomore year.”

It continues. The only person Castiel gets right is Tessa, and that’s because they had gone to the same church.

“You have to remember him,” Meg says as waves over a newcomer entering the gym.

Castiel’s mouth goes dry. Yes, he does recognize Dean Winchester. How could he forget?

Castiel might have been a friendless loner in high school with only his books for company, but he wasn’t dead. He knew who Dean Winchester was, with his leather jacket, muscle car, and stunning green eyes that would make a romantic portrait artist weep.

Castiel can recall with perfect clarity the moment he found out he’d been assigned to tutor Dean in Latin in the beginning of their senior year. A mixture of elation and dread filled his stomach before Ms. Siege had even finished speaking. He’d get to see Dean. He’d have to spend time, probably alone, with Dean Winchester. And, most terrifyingly, he’d have to open his mouth and actually say words in front of him.

When Castiel looks at Dean for the first time in ten years, he doesn’t think about when Dean would do his damndest to distract Castiel from tutoring and tease him to lighten up. Instead, Castiel remembers Dean’s flushed cheeks and grasping fingers the first time Cas made him come, and the way the Impala’s windows had fogged up, just like in the movies.

* * *

Castiel can tell the exact moment Dean spots him because he nearly trips over his feet.

“I - I need to go,” Castiel says to Meg, sheer panic flooding his veins.

“What?” she asks. “Already?”

“Bathroom,” Castiel blurts before he can think of a better excuse.

“That time of the month?” Meg asks with a faux-sympathetic frown.

Castiel doesn’t bother dignifying her question with an answer. Instead, he spins on his heel and makes for the second gym exit, the one that leads to the locker rooms instead of the rest of the school.

He breathes deep as the door closes behind him. Shivering from nerves with the close call, he takes a moment to get his bearings. Are his legs shaking?

At one of the sinks in the boy’s bathroom, he turns on the tap and pats his heated face down with a damp paper towel.

He’s such a mess, and he hasn’t even spoken to Dean yet.

What a goddamn joke. He hasn’t changed in a decade. Still running away from Dean like a coward.

Castiel has been - well, he wouldn’t say looking forward to this reunion - but he’s been mentally gearing himself up for it. Castiel promised himself, ever since he heard Dean took a teaching position at their old high school, to go to their next reunion and formally apologize.

He splashes more water on his face, grimacing as dark spots dot his tie. Somehow it’s already gotten turned around. Castiel halfheartedly fiddles with it, trying to get it to lie straight.

The door opens behind him. Castiel freezes, but it’s not Dean.

The stranger shoots him a weird look before slipping into one of the stalls.

The man’s belt unbuckles, and Castiel inwardly sighs. He can’t hide in here forever. He leaves just as the sounds of a clearly painful bowel movement start up behind him. 

Right outside the gym, he steels himself. He owes this to Dean; the worst Dean can do is make a scene, and it’s not like Castiel has any plans to ever set foot in Edlund High again, anyway. He teaches at their rival school, after all.

He’s here for Dean. He can do this and go home.

Back inside, he spots Meg without difficulty. She’s alone and tapping away on her phone.

Castiel approaches her, already bracing for a wave of uncomfortable questions. “Hello, Meg.”

“Hey,” Meg says distractedly. She squints up at him. “What was with the Houdini act?”

Castiel shifts his weight to the other foot. “Where did Dean go?”

Meg jerks her head to where their ‘popular’ classmates congregate, now with one added Dean Winchester. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t.”

Meg places both hands on her hips. “I think you forget that as a fellow educator, I have a stellar bullshit radar.”

“It’s personal.”

“Come on, Clarence,” Meg says, the faintest note of pleading in her voice, “This reunion is boring as hell. Nobody’s gone into porn or killed anyone since we graduated. I’ve been robbed. You have to tell me, what did Dean Winchester do to you way back when?” Her eyebrows raise as she takes in his conflicted expression. “Or should I say, what did you do to him?”

Castiel sighs. He frowns at the floor. “In senior year we were… involved.”

“Involved how?” Meg asks, her eyes gleaming. “Don’t tell me he broke your heart.”

Castiel slowly shakes his head. “The other way around.”

“Holy shit,” Meg breathes, her eyes as round as the balloons festooning the walls. She sneaks a peek over at Dean, still standing with his group of old school friends. “You’re serious.”

“I never pegged you as a gossip, Meg,” Castiel says dispassionately.

“Call me desperate,” Meg says, waving his criticism away with an idle hand. “It’s either ten-year-old gossip or watch that fucking slideshow for the fifth time in a row. If you have anything else you’d rather talk about, I’m all ears.”

Castiel jumps at the opening. “I have been wondering,” he starts, “how other schools have been integrating the state board’s recommen-”

Meg interrupts him loudly, “Anything except work.” 

Castiel snaps his mouth shut with a glare.

“Come on,” Meg wheedles, “You got the class loner act locked down, but it’s not like I particularly want to see any of these people ever again.” She gestures around the gym.

“Then why come at all?” Castiel asks, honestly baffled.

Meg smirks. “Did you not hear my comment about the porn and murder?”

“If anyone did, I hardly think they’d advertise it at their class reunion.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying.” She shoots him a pointed look. “But we’re getting off topic. You and Dean Winchester. Spill, Novak.”

Castiel sighs. “I was assigned to tutor him in Latin at the beginning of senior year.”

“Ohh,” Meg croons, “Somebody got hot for teacher?”

Castiel grimaces at the crude reduction of Dean’s feelings. “You could say that,” he says cagily.

Meg turns to look out across the gym, her dark eyes zeroing in on Dean. “I imagine your little heart wasn’t made of stone either.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Meg claps her hands delightedly. “What happened?”

“I ended things,” Castiel says hollowly. “We were about to graduate, and I had plans to go to college.”

“And he did not,” Meg surmises.

Castiel shakes his head. “He was considering community college.”

To set a good example for Sam, Dean had said. He didn’t particularly care for higher education one way or another, not like Castiel, who saw college as his one way out of their hometown, out of his family, out of everything he hated about his first 18 years of life.

But somehow Dean wound up getting his degree anyway - he must have, or he wouldn’t be teaching English at their old high school.

Castiel has so many questions, but the likelihood of getting answers from Dean dwindles smaller and smaller the longer he puts off doing the very thing he came here to do.

When Dean breaks off from the group to grab another drink, Castiel seizes his chance.

Meg lets him go with a half-mocking, half-supportive, “Go get ‘im, champ!”

Castiel flips up his middle finger over his shoulder as he takes off after Dean.

He shoves his tingling hands in his pockets, finds walking with his hands in his pockets awkward and removes them, and somehow doesn't bolt in the opposite direction. By the time he catches up to Dean, it’s hard to think through his cloud of anxiety.

He just needs to tell Dean he is sorry; Dean was right; Castiel should never have ended things between them like he did.

Dean always did like being right - that can’t have changed much over the past ten years.

Castiel waits for Dean to see him, staring hard at the side of Dean’s head until he’s noticed.

Dean’s eyes go round, and he almost drops his cup of beer. “Christ,” he says, staggering off to the side of the bar table. “Someone should put a bell on you.”

“My apologies,” Castiel says gruffly.

This is not how he would have liked to start his first conversation with Dean Winchester in ten years. Not that Castiel had expected much better - if he learned anything from their tutoring sessions and later hookups, Dean always had at least one surprise up his sleeve.

Dean inhales a deep breath. “Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

* * * 

Castiel swallows nervously. All that preparation at home and in the bathroom, and not a single word comes to mind.

“How, uh, how’ve you been?” Dean asks first. He takes a quick sip of his beer.

“I’ve been well,” Castiel says stiffly. “And you?”

“Can’t complain.”

The conversation is almost unbearably awkward, even for him. How in the world did Castiel get stuck making smalltalk with Dean Winchester? So much for best laid plans. 

 “I heard you teach here now,” Castiel says.

“I do,” Dean says, his eyes wandering around the gym. “English. Started this year. You?”

“Latin and French at Carver Preparatory.”

Dean’s eyebrows rise. “No shit,” he says, a bitter note to his voice. “You’re teaching those elitist assholes?”

Castiel blinks. True, he didn’t expect Dean to exactly welcome him after everything, but the deliberate antagonism is a surprise. “I wouldn’t - they’re not all assholes,” he stutters. He can’t bring himself to deny the elitism. He’s loyal, not blind.

“Hm,” Dean grunts, not giving an inch. “I hope you’re not here to sabotage anything.”

“Between Carver and Edlund?” Cas asks, baffled. “This is high school, not Soviet Russia.”

Dean tips back his beer and takes a large gulp. “Tell that to the seniors who got sued over a prank.”

“They stole five hundred dollars’ worth of Carver uniforms,” Castiel says incredulously, “for an internet fad.”

Dean’s mouth twitches. “I think you mean a meme. And it was hilarious.”

“A what?”

Dean snorts. “Never mind.” His expression closes off again. “And the seniors only borrowed them. All the uniforms were returned - no harm, no foul.”

Castiel has to put a sincere effort into not letting his disgust show on his face. The whole fiasco did not endear Castiel to anyone at Carver who called for the legal case. Even if they did not make up the majority of the faculty or parents, they had the numbers (and the money) to push it farther than it should have gone.

“The parents who paid for those uniforms definitely didn’t see it that way,” Castiel says to Dean.

“Sucks to be them,” Dean smirks, “If their biggest worry is leftover sweat from an Edlunder, better not tell them how bowling shoes or vintage clothing works.”

From Castiel’s parent-teacher conferences, he’d be surprised if any Carver parent had ever stepped foot in a bowling alley. He’s positive the Naomis and Bartholomews that make up the PTA would sooner give up their second homes than voluntarily wear a pair of bowling shoes.

Dean tosses back his drink. “Anyway, it’s not like they can’t afford to get the douchey uniforms dry cleaned.”

“I didn’t say they were right,” Castiel says carefully, “In fact, I think Carver’s reaction was completely overblown, but you probably don’t want to hear about our administration politics behind the decision.”

“Nope,” Dean says, lips popping.

After a beat, Castiel asks, “How do you like teaching here?”

“Can’t complain,” Dean says as he eyes the dregs of his beer. “Bobby - Principal Singer - retired last year, but he put in a good word for me with Principal Mills.”

“I’ve heard good things about her ideas for Edlund.”

“She’s all about finally bringing us into the digital age. She’s been talking with Charlie - do you remember her?” Dean explains, “She was in our history class junior and senior year.”

The name rings no bells for Castiel. He shakes his head.

“Really?” Dean pauses. “Red hair? Queen of the Nerds?”

Castiel gives another headshake, eyes narrowing.

Dean tries again, “You gotta remember her novelty tee shirts.”

Castiel says dryly, “I think you’re vastly overestimating how much attention I paid to our classmates.”

“But-”

“Dean,” Castiel says impatiently, “You are the only person I remember from high school.”

Dean balks for a moment, his cheeks flushing. “No way,” he says flatly. “You can’t seriously - I saw you talking to Meg Masters a while ago.”

Castiel eyes the mostly-depleted drink in Dean’s hands enviously. He doesn’t have enough alcohol to discuss his social deficiencies as an adult - or as a teenager. “We worked together briefly,” he admits, “at Morning Star.”

Dean whistles. “Well, I guess Carver is a step up from that.”

“Indeed,” Castiel agrees wryly. “I was only there a year. The administration at Carver is a nightmare, but at least they’re not sadists.”

“I haven’t heard great stuff about Morning Star,” Dean admits.

“There isn’t much good that goes on in that school,” Castiel says wearily. “Principal Crowley - well, the less said about him the better. Meg hates him. The students, though,” he swallows, “they deserve better.”

Dean’s expression hardens. “They always do.”

“Anyway,” Castiel says quickly because going down that road always makes him want to smite something - preferably Crowley’s smirking face, “I didn’t remember Meg either until she told me we went to school together.”

Dean lets out a surprised laugh. “I guess you always did have your nose in a book.” He makes a face and gestures around the gym. “Then why come to this snoozefest? The whole point is to catch up with old friends.”

“According to Meg, the point is to discover who went into pornography or to prison over the past ten years.”

Dean chuckles. “You can mark me down for ‘no’ on both counts.”

“I - I had thought so,” Castiel says awkwardly.

“Oh, so…” Dean drifts off, for once at a loss for words.

As the silence ticks on, Castiel’s reason for coming to the reunion crowds at the tip of his tongue. But he can’t make the words come out.

Dean drains his beer. He lets his gaze drift away from Castiel, lingering on someone or something over Castiel’s left shoulder. “Well, it was nice seeing you, Cas, I’ll see you ar-”

“I came here to apologize to you,” Castiel blurts.

Dean’s eyes snap to Castiel’s face. “What?”

Castiel swallows nervously. “For high school.”

“Okay,” Dean crosses his arms across his chest. “A lot of things happened in high school. Specifics would help.”

Castiel inhales a deep breath. “I’m sorry for how I handled our… relationship.”

Dean’s mouth twists, his expression darkening. “I wouldn’t call what we did a relationship.”

“Right,” Castiel says, biting his lip. “Our arrangement, then. What I did - what I did to you - it’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.”

Dean purses his lips. “What would’ve you done differently?”

“Excuse me?”

“Humor me,” Dean asks, and it doesn't sound like a suggestion. “If you could go back. Get a do-over. What would you do?” His eyes narrow. “Would you have come out? Or maybe stopped me before we got down and dirty in the Impala in the first place? ‘Cause I’ve played this game a few times, and I know which one I would’ve gone for.”

Castiel thinks it over. “Rationally,” he says,slowly, sounding the word out as he tries to put the rest of his thoughts into words, “I should have kept our interactions to our tutoring sessions.”

Dean’s jaw clenches. He nods.

Castiel can’t tell if his explanation is hurting Dean further. He feels like he’s been dumped out at sea while only knowing how to doggy paddle. Mouth dry, he barrels on, “But realistically, there’s no way that could have happened, so I probably should have asked you to wait for me.”

Dean blinks in surprise, his hardened exterior cracking the tiniest fraction. “Wait?” he echoes faintly.

“I couldn’t come out in high school,” Castiel says dully. What he wouldn’t give for another drink. “If my mother got wind of my sexuality, she would have put conditions on my college tuition without another thought, or forced me to take a gap year to do churchwork or something equally horrendous.”

Dean’s tense shoulders sag. “I didn’t know that.”

“I was ashamed,” Castiel drops his gaze to the floor, “You clearly loved your family, and your father… well, even with his flaws, he seemed to accept you. My situation was nothing like that.”

“Dad didn’t know about me either,” Dean mutters. 

“Sorry?” Castiel asks, raising his head.

“Dad didn’t know I went for dudes and chicks,” Dean explains. “But he was hardly around, so if I didn’t tell him and Sammy didn’t tell him, odds were he’d never find out.” He bites his lip as he meets Castiel’s stare head-on. “How long?”

“How long?” Castiel repeats, confused.

“How long would you have asked me to wait?” Dean asks, a hard edge to his words.

Castiel hesitates, wrong-footed at their backtracking conversation. “Until I had started my first semester at college.”

Dean’s mouth falls open. “What?”

Castiel frowns. “I had no plans to be in the closet after I moved away. My mother has too many connections here, with the junior league, the civics board, HOA, and who knows what else. But in my college town, she knew no one. I could finally be myself.”

Dean splutters nonsensically before he says, “You didn’t think to ask me to wait one measly summer for you to get your head out of your ass?”

“But I wasn’t just asking for ‘one summer’,” Castiel protests.

Dean’s outrage falters at Castiel’s air quotes.

“It would have been one summer and four years of long distance. I knew you had… feelings,” Castiel doesn’t pause at Dean’s wince at the word, “for me, but I had already taken so much from you. Are you saying you would have waited?”

“I don’t know!” Dean says, sounding slightly manic. He runs a hand through his hair distractedly, muttering to himself under his breath. 

Castiel inhales a deep breath to calm himself down. He forces himself to look Dean straight in the eye. “A part of me was looking forward to a completely fresh start, too. But, of course, I was the same as ever,” Castiel chuckles without a trace of humor, “friendless, caught up in the details, narrow-minded. It didn’t take long to realize I was only ever a different person when I was with you.”

“Jesus Christ,” Dean says, staring right back, “I had no idea.”

Castiel shrugs. “I never told you.”

“You should’ve,” Dean says shortly.

“I should have,” Castiel agrees.

Dean bites his lip, looking conflicted. His gaze flits around the gym, behind Castiel, where undoubtedly more of their classmates vie for his attention. And, that’s good, because Castiel finally said his piece. He can go home, and never think about Edlund High School or Dean Winchester again.

(Because that worked so well when he left Dean the first time.)

Castiel takes a step backwards. Personal space, he remembers. Stiffly, Castiel says, “Anyway, that’s why I came to the reunion. To see you. To tell you that. I shouldn’t keep you any long-”

“Are you single?” Dean interrupts.

Castiel’s brain takes an embarrassingly long moment to understand the question. “Yes?”

“Do you want to get out of here?” Dean asks, a strange glint in his eye.

“I do,” Castiel says truthfully. “I don’t like social engagements.”

“Some things never change,” Dean says with a small grin. He gestures to the door. “What do you say to a drive?”

Castiel blinks.

“For old time’s sake,” Dean says, with a fucking wink.

Castiel’s mouth falls open. “I - is this a joke?” His brow furrows. “Retribution for refusing to see you outside of our… trysts?”

Dean’s face goes through a multitude of expressions Castiel can barely hope to read - shock, guilt, perhaps cautious optimism? “God no,” Dean says quickly. He coughs and shifts his weight to his other foot. “Shit, I was trying to make a joke. Sorry. Not there yet.” 

“I don’t understand.”

“Look,” Dean starts, “since we’re apparently crap at asking for what we want - we’re both single,” Castiel’s eyebrows rise because this is news to him, “and this reunion is boring as hell, so I’m asking if you want to do something else instead.”

“With you?” Castiel asks because it sounds implied to him, but he can never be too sure when it comes to Dean Winchester.

Dean glares. “Yes, with me, Cas.”

Castiel chews on his lip as he tries to figure out why Dean would initiate an activity with him, apart from the obvious. As Castiel fails to come up with any sensible reason, and Dean’s foot tapping becomes audible in its intensity and speed, Castiel has to ask, “Are you asking me on a date?”

Dean throws both hands in the air. “I swear, you’re being dense on purpose. Since you need everything spelled out for you: will you go out with me, Castiel Novak?” Without waiting for an answer, Dean tacks on, “Jesus Christ, high school really never does end.” 

But he doesn’t really seem all that mad. So Castiel tells him, “Yes, I’d like to go on a date with you.”

Dean grins. He jerks his head towards the door. “Wanna go?”

“But,” Castiel waves one hand in the direction of the multitude of people behind them, “aren’t there people you’d rather talk to first?”

Dean shakes his head. “Not right now, no.”

* * *

Dean takes the steps down to the parking lot at a bit of a jog. He makes a beeline to the very familiar hulking beast, parked at least three spaces away from any other car. 

A frisson of anticipation thrums up Castiel’s spine at the sight, a dormant instinct he’d thought ten years dead. Castiel pauses outside the passenger side of the Impala and tries not to fidget as he waits for Dean to notice him. 

“Everything okay?” Dean asks as he yanks open the car door.

Castiel asks bluntly, “Does this mean you forgive me?”

Dean braces both elbows on the Impala’s roof, his face serious. “You were seventeen.”

That’s not an agreement. It’s an excuse.

“I was old enough to know what I was doing to you was wrong,” Castiel counters.

“Come on,” Dean rolls his eyes. “If there’s anything I learned from teaching, it’s that teenagers are morons. Uncle Sam allows them to go to war and vote, but I sure as shit don’t. Kids are idiots.” His mouth lifts into a tentative smile. “Even the ones with a 4.0 GPA and perfect attendance.” 

Dean taps his fingers on Impala’s roof, but he doesn’t seem impatient, more pensive. It’s a look Castiel never saw on teenage Dean. “I’m sure you were doing the best you could’ve under the circumstances. I might not have got it then, but I get it now.”

“It wasn’t perfect,” Castiel mutters as he gets in the Impala.

“Sure it wasn’t,” Dean says sardonically as he slams the door behind him and starts the engine. “It’s not like I can’t hack the old attendance records and see for myself.”

“That seems like a lot of work to make a point.”

“If you think I wouldn’t do it, you don’t know me at all,” Dean says gravely, eyes twinkling.

“Oh, I don’t doubt you’d do it,” Castiel says, “You broke into Principal Singer’s office to steal back the switchblade that you brought to school for some unfathomable reason.”

“You remember that?” Dean asks, surprised.

“Your detention derailed an entire week’s worth of tutoring,” Castiel says dryly. “We couldn’t finish Cicero in time for your exam.”

Dean chuckles. “Figures you remember that part.”

“I had also recently fingered you for the first time,” Castiel reminds him, “I was very put out about waiting a whole week to do it again.”

Dean chokes on air as they come to an abrupt stop at a red light.

“I forget very little when it comes to you,” Castiel finishes placidly.

Dean shakes his head as the light turns green. “Christ,” he says, his eyes flitting briefly to Castiel’s face before settling back on the road. “You can’t just say things like that.”

“Why not?” Castiel asks. It seems they got into this whole mess precisely because Castiel refused to say exactly what he thought about Dean Winchester.

Dean opens his mouth, but no words come out. A ruddy flush crawls up his neck and face, just visible in the darkened car interior.

Castiel runs a disbelieving hand over the dash, reading the minute grooves and divots like he’s rediscovering his favorite book. “I never thought I’d be in the Impala again.” 

“You were the one who wanted to wait,” Dean rolls his eyes, “I think ten goddamn years is long enough.”

[skzluvs]

Crimson Roses 🥀; Kim Seungmin

Genre: Vampire Au! College Au! Angst; Fluff?

Warnings: Mentions of blood, Mild swearing

Word count: 3.6K

A/N: It was supposed to be a quick little drabble and became a whole ass fic. All I have to say is vampire concept seungmin HOT

He observed you from the corner of his eye.

There you were sitting on the first row with your materials spread out on the desk, taking notes as your life depended upon it.

He knew how interested you were on all those past events, on the ones we tend to call history because they change the course of living.

He found himself lost on your endearing figure. On the way you tried to blow the hair falling on your face but failing during the process, frowning at the distracting tingling sensation on your forehead. He smiled to himself wishing he could be the one that could brush your hair away softly.

But that was impossible.You were definitely too kind

And He... He was just a simple evil creature that had lived longed enough to know that falling for a mortal would be nothing more than a death sentence

An a crucifix to his heart.

The voice of his professor interrupted Seungmin's thoughts.

"Before you leave, we are getting closer to the end of the semester Which means you'll be assigned a project that is worth half of your final grade, It'll be a partner assignment and you will have a week to turn it in" He informed to all the students. The classroom exploded with all source of complaints from everyone who was not happy to say the least at the sudden notice.

"Are we allowed to pick our partners" You asked raising your hand. It's not like you had someone you already wanted to work with in mind; more like you could absolutely take advantage of this opportunity to pair up with Lee Minho. He was the top of your class, partnering up with him would undoubtedly mean securing that grade. And you needed that.

"Unfortunately for all of you I've already decided on that" He replied raising a list with names on it.

He began to call one by one, making the teammates move around to sit together by their announced partner. You were tapping your foot impatiently. This assignment played a crucial part on your final grade therefore you were scared your partner would not contribute enough for you to get a passing score.

" Y/L/N Y/N and Kim Seungmin" He said handing you a piece of paper with the prompt and expectations written on the back of it.

You lifted your head, getting rid of the air you had been holding on your lungs. Your eyes scanning the room. Making eye contact with him for a second, his eyes staring directly at your soul. You turned around quickly; a rosy blush spread over your cheeks.

You knew nothing about Kim Seungmin, besides he was drop dead gorgeous. He had this mysterious aura that was attractive. He was certainly not the bad boy type; He was more reserved, only hanged out with his close group of friends.

Who you had to admit they were all extremely cool.

Seungmin almost lost his bunkers when you were assigned as his partner for that stupid historical events project.

He knew everything about history. He lived through it; from the renaissance to the post modern movement. Seungmin had been around for at least 1000 years.

To say that living for so long had become nothing less but boring would be an euphemism. Because it was. He had gained experience and power through the decades. But it was no longer exciting.

Until he found you. You were the one who acted magnetically with his heart an undeniable attraction that made him stay for the first time. Seungmin was known for being playful. Never sticked around for long because he found humans despicable. He was not too fond of them. But his perspective changed completely the day he first saw you.

It was probably because you were not human like. With an overwhelming beauty and high manners. In all of the years he had lived on earth, he never met such a sublime soul like yours. So Breathtaking and admirable.

You stood up from your chair with a panting breathing walking through the aisle, all the way to the back to his usual seat. You were more than nervous; Seungmin's presence truly intimidated you.

You sat next to him and offered him a smile. Hoping the atmosphere between you two wouldn't be as awkward.

You expected him to be quiet most of the time as you was trying to come up with ideas for the project. However it was the total opposite he kept on engaging on the conversation. It felt comfortable how he carefully listened to you and instantly agreed with your opinion. Surprisingly he knew so much about the topic; more than you ever imagined as the few times you spared a glaze at him during class he seemed to be doing everything but paying attention.

After discussing your main subtopics you decided it was enough work for one day, and decided to set a schedule to work on the other parts of the project outside of school.

" We need to meet up to work on the presentation" You said looking through the papers to were holding on your hands.

He looked at you with adoring eyes. You looked so cute when you were concentrated.

"Definitely, where do you want to meet at?" He asked you smiling.

" What do you think about the coffee shop down the street? I can bring my computer so we can do it digitally unless you are old fashioned and prefer to work on a poster we can do research on the library" you said shrugging your shoulders.

" Y/N you did not just called me a boomer"

" I mean if the term fits you then" you said laughing.

" Back in my days, youngsters were respectful towards their elders" He said in a grandpa like voice.

" We are the same age!!!" You yelled at him unable to control yourself from laughing at his impersonation.

Or at least that's what you think; He said to himself.

" We are supposed to deliver history through this project don't you think Y/N I say we should do it the right way"

" You are right everyone is probably going to go down the easy road but we are smarter" You said getting excited; reaching your hand to high Five him. "Great minds think alike"

" I can assure you we are going to beat Minho's and Jisung's project"

You had to acknowledge Seungmin and yourself made an amazing dynamic duo. You were content at the selection of your partner and definitely had to thank the professor for it. Because you two clicked with such effortlessness.

The bell ranged and you had to say your goodbyes to go into your next class.

You were standing by the door ready to leave but you turned around quickly to yell at Seungmin.

" I'll meet you at 5 inside the library and you better be on time boomer" you said with a playful smirk

Wanting to mess with him; gaining a loud laugh from your partner. pretending to act offended crossing his arms.

Seungmin went to the library earlier than the time you had set. He rushed his way there, right before excusing himself from his group of friends who were going to hangout after class.

He wanted to pick up a few books for you; he thought you would find them interesting.

He scanned the aisles, holding with one hand a pair of hard cover books that were just as dusty as the coffin where he used to sleep in, during the counter reformation.

He sat at a table and laid the books, shifting uncontrollably in his seat, from time to time, observing the clock, waiting for you to come through those doors.

Hell, you were fucking late. And you regretted taking that extra time looking through your closet; trying to find something decent to wear. Is not like you were to meet Seungmin for a date, it was a simple study session; however for some reason you wanted to look presentable. He always looked good no matter what. Which was totally unfair.With that leather jacket and fitting tight pants that made him long taller. Your mind wondered for a second. And you began to question yourself if you were starting to develop a small crush on the pale boy.

You were walking as fast as your feet allowed you. Through the hallways, your high heel boots were making loud noises every time you took a step forward. The dress you wore lifted a couple of times due to the wind. Your hair was probably entangled from running the couple of blocks from your apartment back to campus. Your shoe selection had definitely became a nightmare to your now bruised feet.

Your hands were sweaty and you had to remind yourself. " Y/N this is not a date once again you are just stuck with him for the project stop being delusional" you said trying to calm down. Taking a deep breath before pulling the door to enter the library.

You tried to fix yourself before spotting Seungmin sitting on the back. He smiled with relief at your sight. You couldn't be more awkward by sending him an effusive wave. " What's all this" you asked pointing at the pile of books laying on the edge of the table. "Just some research materials" He said.

" We are going to be here for a while then..." you said jokingly lifting a book from the stack. Leaving at least 10 more underneath.

" I don't mind as long as our project comes out good" He replied to you brushing his head to the side.

What he actually meant was that he didn't mind as long as he could spend the most time with you as possible. He didn't even gave a single care about the goddamn project, all he wanted was your company.

You two began to read the old books; most of them focused on events that happened during the 17th and 18th century.

Seungmin was almost falling asleep when you suddenly jumped in excitement next to him.

" Look Seungmin!" you said and began to quote the reading out loud "On the baroque era there were myths about vampires who attacked its victims during the night draining their blood as a food source."

" Let me see" He said taking the book in his hands. Reading word for word and For his surprised It had to be a fucking article about undead creatures specifically Vampires. How lucky seungmin got with that one. "You don't believe on those things do you Y/N" He asked curiously awaiting for your response.

" I mean; I do believe that there could be creature such as vampires out there. I just don't believe in all those tails you know, the ones that over romanticized or demoralized their existence. In my opinion vampires are not blood-thirsting bats. If they do consume blood it must be because it's their only food source they can't fight against those Instincts. It'll be like going against natural selection. They do what they can to survive"

Seungmin was more than pleased at your explanation. He couldn't contained himself from looking you with sparkling eyes and a huge smile plastered on his lips.

It made him happy that you weren't into that cliché bullshit like Bella and Edward type of fantasy. That even if you didn't knew the whole spectrum you still had a pretty clear understanding of his lineage.

Your words made his heart warm. He did an introspection on the reasons why he liked you so much; to begin with you were understanding like no other, you never judged anyone based off looks, you spent your time getting to know them first, smiling kindly at everyone and never seeking for recognition but always helping out of selflessness.

In Seungmin's eyes you were all he always wanted a person so pure like you was impracticable to find somewhere else. He thanked for the timing being right for him to meet you, because after all these years living in vain, you were the only one and he was glad he waited everlastingly to be with you right now, in this moment. He will treasure it forever in his heart.

The weeks passed by and Seungmin and you got to finish the project, a perfect chronological detailed poster that contained every important event through history. Your presentation was to say the least the best one among all your classmates even Lee Minho's and Han Jisung's was not even half as good as yours. Your grade boosted quickly with that perfect score.

And you had to give most of the credit to Seungmin he provided most of the facts you were utterly impressed at his range of understanding history so well. It was as he knew better than all those books you spent hours reading. You called him a true intellectual.

The things with Seungmin changed after the project. You could say you got closer to him than to any other person.

Your friendship with him began to shift towards a completely different direction the morning he came early holding a white rose, on its stem a little note wrapped around it.

He still remembers the blush that covered all your face when he handed it to you. You were truly speechless. You almost cried at the middle of the classroom due to the poem he had handwritten for you.

" Your fragrance just as sweet as the one the roses give off when they're cover in dew

Blissful sight at the sunshine caressing your filaments

You're the flower I carefully picked out from the field

The only untarnished one

You natural beauty worthy of being preserved

I’ll water your roots everyday just tell me you’ll stay with me even if the rain overflows our pot "

From that day onwards. He gifted you a white rose every single day and you never knew why. But you loved it so much. You made a bouquet with all of them and kept them safe in a vessel displayed as a centerpiece on your kitchen table.

He truly believed white represented your purity

It was a shame he had to stain your soul

That he tinted the petals scarlet.

It was dark outside on a night where the ‘blood’ moon eclipse appeared in the skies. And in the shadows there was something that challenged Seungmin's own instinct.

It was part of his nature.

How he was able to smell the candid scent of your blood despite the distance

It was endearing almost hypnotizing for him.

A battle for self control.

Where he wanted to paint white roses with the deepest red.

Seungmin called you during midnight you answered without hesitation as his name appeared brightening your phone screen.

Heaving breathing's was all you were able to hear through the other line.

“Min is everything okay? Why are you out of breath I'm getting worried” it was unusual for him to call you at this hour, your heartbeats began to increase at his response. “Can we meet now? I'm on my way to your apartment” His voice was low. You never heard seungmin talk like that with such desperation. It sent shivers down your spine.

“Of course but tell me did you got in so kind of trouble” You asked with a preoccupied tone.

“I'll explain everything to you once I get there” He said hanging up immediately.

He was scared at the mere thought of you finding out

He wouldn't be able to handle the terrifying look on your face at the sight of his fangs.

He always lived with ease in between humans

He had adapted himself into their characters creating the perfect facade. He did it all for you.

Going back to this college life was definitely not his style but you made him stay. Life finally made sense the moment he saw you and now he had to reveal his true identity because you didn’t deserved to be lied to. No matter the outcome. He would have to face it.

When he reached you apartment his pale face was almost translucent. He gathered all his courage to knock on your door.

You rushed rapidly opening the door; with worry eating you inside. The first thing you noticed was how dark his eyes were, his pupils were almost completely dilated.

You quickly wrapped him into a hug. You didn’t knew what was going on but you were here for him regardless. You were always going to be there.

“Let's take a walk” He said out of nowhere. Intertwining his hand with yours and leading you outside.

It was dark and the moon was shining brighter than ever before. You walked through the streets without certain direction just enjoying each other’s presence.

Your reassuring smile seemed to calmed Seungmin down.

“I have something to say to you, but before I do you need to know that I like you, that I've been in love with you since I first saw you and that what I'm about to say doesn't change a thing” He said stopping your tracks, your face almost collapsing into his chest. You were standing face to face with him.

“I like you too seungmin... “ You couldn't think properly because there was something else behind it, something that could change your feelings towards him. The true reason behind his so blunt sudden confession.

You knew Seungmin. He wasn't the type that seeks for trouble that's why you just couldn't wrap your head around what exactly was he hiding from you.

“I- I am a vampire” He stared at you with bloodshot eyes while letting his fangs slowly come down his teeth. He lowered his head frightened at your reaction.

You were in a state of shock. Rubbing your eyes multiple times at the sight in front of you because it was truly unbelievable.

You had to regain your posture before speaking again. You were experiencing a difficulty at making your words exist your mouth.

“That doesn't change anything seungmin, I might be going crazy, Fuck. You just said a vampire. I love you nonetheless because I fell for Kim Seungmin. I don't care if you are a vampire, a demon, a demigod, I'm in love with you because you are you. And now that you know that I reciprocate your feelings something tells me this comes at a higher price” You said breathless.

“It does Y/N we cant be together I have instincts that can't be controlled... it's getting harder everyday not wanting to you know” Not even able to finish his own sentence because it was embarrassing enough.

“Bite me?” You said lifting his chin from the ground “look at me... Min you want to bite my neck?” You asked straightforward.

“Yes” He said in an inaudible tone.

“What does that mean, what happened if you actually do it, do the things I read from the article are actually true” You asked biting your own bottom lip until you savored the metal flavor of your own blood. The one seungmin desired to have a taste from.

“No Y/N. I could never do that you. You are just too beautiful and flawless you don't deserve to get ruined by me”

“Stop treating me like I can't take my own decisions seungmin I know exactly what I want” You snapped back at him.

“You don't know what you are talking about is way more than just transforming you'll have to serve to the underworld in perpetuity”

“You have been alone long enough seungmin let me stay by your side. I want to immortalize this love

And be with you for the rest of the eternity”

“Just bite me seungmin I beg you” you implore to him, decisively pleading eyes.

You wanted this like you never wanted something else more in your whole entire life.

That’s all it took for Seungmin’s body to wash over lust. He places his mouth in between the crock of your neck trailing soft teasing kisses along the way. Right until he found that sweet perfect spot. The one that drove you completely insane.

You let out an agonizing scream. Filled with both pain and pleasure at the same time, when his teeth was incrusted without a warning sign tugging at your sensitive skin. He savored every single drop of blood that instantly began to drip from the laceration down your neck.

You began to convulse. Your body shaking and veins popping out from your skin. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head almost unconsciously.

Your soul transforming into pure immorality and immortality. Reaching an inexplicable climax that threw you over the edge. An overwhelming feeling that carried iniquitous power.

When you came back still too fragile to stand with your own feet. You were no longer a human being. Your fangs and sinful eyes and ghostly complexion gave out for finalizing the end of your transition.

Seungmin carried you in his back. You were now forever his. While he took you back to the apartment you dared to ask him something that had been lingering on your mind.

“So all your friends are vampires as well” You said intrigued.

“ Yes all of them” He said clearly laughing at your weird unexpected question.

“Even Jeongin!?” You couldn’t believe the cutest student could possible be a vampire.

“ Even Jeongin” He responded making you gasp in a shocking manner.

“ How... He’s like the most adorable thing on earth I don’t understand” you said whispering in disbelief.

“You mean on hell he’s good at pretending but that kid is nothing but pure evil”

Kissing your forehead and whipping your sweat, you looked exhausted but yet still beautiful as always. He laid you down on your bed. Playing with your hair. He would take care of you as he promised with all those flowers he once gave you.

That were no longer white but crimson roses.

[my-brothers-corrupted]

Mini prompt-Anti having a good day and treating the bois nicely

“Okay, that’s it!” shouts Anti. “Get into the fuckingcar!”

The hot grip of the terror around its bones loses a little of itsstrength as Trick registers belatedly what he said.

“Wait - what?”

“You heard me! Get in the car! Goddamn! Go! Get in the car!”

Shaky already, Trick rubs at his watering eyes and slips behindRed, who holds him carefully at his back.

“Anti, I know we should have been more careful with the ball,but we didn’t mean to break the window,” sniffles Trick, buryinghis face in Red’s sweatshirt. “Please don’t dump me in theocean, I’ll be good, we were just playing. We’re just a littlecooped up, we - ”

“Yeah, I can goddamn tell,” snaps Anti, grabbing his hair andmaking him go “ack!” Trick gets obediently out from behind Redbefore Anti even has to tug or yank. “I hear you throwing that ballaround every hour of the day, all Dok does is sleep, Red has beensmacking his stupid head against the floorboards - ugh, I can’tstand the sound of you all anymore! I’m sick of this house! Dapjust stares at the wall all day, probably hallucinating, and Bluekeeps singing to himself… you all drive me mad, you know that?”

“Yes, Anti,” answers Trick and Red in morose tandem.

“But I thought we were hiding from the bad men?” Red proffersanxiously.

“Yes,” Anti puffs out a sigh. “We are. But you all need out.You’re acting like wild animals.”

Anti’s body is fizzling irritably, consumed all over withrunning lines and curves of rainbow-shifting glitches, his eyesflickering from black to green to blue to brown, stamping hisbarely-corporeal feet.

Ah, realizes Trick, picking at Red’s sleeve. So we’re not theonly ones feeling a little cooped up.

“Go get your brothers,” orders Anti, snapping his fingers infront of their faces and making Trick startle. “Now, I’m notwaiting. We’ll take the car… somewhere. Whatever. Come on! Fiveminutes or I’m leaving you behind!”

Red leaps to his feet and darts off towards his bedroom. PoorTrick is still red-faced and trembling in the expectation of somekind of trap, but Red, for his part, is not about to miss whateverthis day is about to become.

“What about a movie?” suggests Blue timidly.

Anti leans back farther in the passenger seat, shrugging, and Doksquirms behind him as his legs begin to get crushed. Trick looks upin the rearview mirror and giggles at his twin’s discomfort,earning himself a pointed glare. Anti’s eyes flicker over to Trickand he immediately tries to get the amusement off his mouth, butAnti’s already seen it.

He only grins and turns his head about, winking at Dok.

“Anti,” scoffs Dok, blushing as he realizes he’s beingteased, pushing at the car seat crushing him. Anti snorts and leansit all the way back, making Dok yelp and Dapper slide off of Blue’slap and onto the floor beside him, shaking his head at the laid-backchair, pushing at the side of it playfully.

“A movie, huh? I don’t know if we got fifty bucks lyingaround. Not if we want lunch.”

“We want lunch,” whispers Trick, growing bolder with everymoment that passes. He knows Anti isn’t mad now, right? He even lethim drive. He let Trick drive. Trick gets to take his familysomewhere. Trick gets to be in the front seat and Anti gets to bebeside him, beside him, beside Trick and nobody else.

Anti pushes the side of his head, playing with his soft brown downas the streets of the city pass them by in a rush of gold. Tricktries to keep his eyes on the road.

“We could go actually see some of the country,” suggest Dokplaintively. “The natural landmarks are - ”

“Who guessed he was going to say that?” asks Red, putting hishand in the air. “Blue, you - ? Yeah, and, oh, Trick’s got hishand up - Dap?”

“I thought he would ask to go straight to the library,actually.”

“Hey!” cries Dok, shoving himself into Blue’s shoulder topress him into Red and bapping Dapper’s head. “I’ll have youknow that seeing the sights is a perfectly normal tourist activity -”

“Don’t tease him so much,” laughs Anti, reaching back to patDok’s thigh. “Somebody has to be the nerd of the family, that’swhy all you assholes are still alive. Dappy, what about you? Tell bigbrother where you want to go.”

Dapper becomes obediently simpering, tilting his head with wideeyes and reaching up to put his fingers gently on Anti’s arm.“Anti, I want to go to the zoo.”

“Okay, could have guessed that one too,” says Trick.

“The zoo, huh?”

“I think it’s free in the city,” shrugs Blue. “We passedby that poster the other day, didn’t we, Dap?”

“Baby lemur,” replies Dapper emphatically. “Baby giraffe.”

Anti pauses, stroking Dapper’s hair, gazing out at the sun.

“Red?” he says.

Red blinks and looks up. “Yes, sir?”

Anti frowns, turning to shoot him an exasperated look. “Chillout. So?”

Oh, fuck. This is him not understanding again, right? Everybodyelse gets it and he doesn’t. He should, but he doesn’t. Thesignals are there for everybody else to see, but he’s missed them,again, and Anti’s going to look at him like he’s an idiot, andall his little brothers will snicker behind his back, and then -

“Red!” laughs Anti, slapping his knee and making him jolt.“Space back in, please, you’re a million miles away. Where do youwant to go?”

What, him? Where does he want to go? His brain, already kickedinto a gear too high for the hill he’s rolling down, only picks upits pace. In the city? In the country? In the world? Between theproud bodies of shadow-strong trees wheezing ever upwards, throughmountains shouting towards the sky, coated in icing, across oceanswide as infinities, great blue waves leaping with the dolphins,coming to crash like old dead gods onto the grainy gold of ancientbeaches -

“Red.” Blue’s voice is as soft as his hand on his thigh.“Ro.”

“The beach,” spills Red’s mouth frantically.

Anti watches him carefully. His eyes are brown today and he seemsmuch younger than Red, his hair curled on the top and a pair of bigfriendly glasses sitting on his small nose.

“The beach, if you want to,” Red re-attempts, straightening inhis seat and adjusting his black hood, feeling Blue’s hand withdrawfrom his thigh. “But just a suggestion.”

“Yeah,” says Anti musingly. “You did like to swim, huh?”

Everyone falls into silence. It is a remnant of their mutuallyforgotten past, one of the rare, secret pieces of reality long sincestripped away from them. It is a very small detail, and it awakenssomething in Red the same way a smell might awaken the faintest,fondest, most fleeting deja vu, and brings nothing concrete to hismind, but Trick, Dok, Blue, and Dapper all stay quiet and solemn -ode to that which we have all forgotten.

Red catalogs the fact in his brain like someone wrapping dishes intowels instead of bubble packaging, hoping they won’t shatter thenext time they go to pull them out of their boxes. I like to swim.

“Well,” says Anti, clapping his hands together. “Zoo’sclose. And free. And Dap’s been ill.”

Dapper always seems to be ill, and, as such, in need of a greatdeal of fussing and spoiling and looking after, but nobody questionsit. And nobody minds either, truly. They’re out of the house. Allsix of them. The sun is shining. The world feels kind. There are babylemurs at the zoo.

“Hola,” says Trick.

The parrot’s pupils shrink and enlarge, shrink and enlarge,tilting its head as it considers him.

Trick grins. A small group of children and a couple of adults areholding their breath, waiting for him to try again.

“Hola,” he says clearly.

The parrot bobs once, twice. “Hola,” it croaks.

“Ohhh!” cries a small child, bouncing up and down. “Hola!”

“Hola,” says the parrot, playing along now. “Hola.”

A chorus of hellos bursts up around Trick and he laughs, bobbinghis head and making the parrot bob in return. The kids crowd tightaround him, staring up at the bird and chattering in Spanish, tryingto make it talk.

“It likes you,” grins Dok.

“I’m a parrot-whisperer,” says Trick.

They laugh and Trick slips away from the pack of kids, brighteningunder a couple admiring glances from small, chubby kids with smilinglion ink prints pressed onto their hands. When was the last time hegot to be around kids?

“Ahh, baby,” he breathes, as they pass a particular rotundbaby hanging off his mother’s shoulder, slobbering on his fist.

“Is this an animal zoo or a small child exhibit to you?” asksDok, brushing mussed hair, glowing in the afternoon sun, out of hisvivid eyes. Slightly sun-burned and bright with a little exercise, helooks like nothing has ever hurt him in his life. Trick’s mouthsoftens and he lets out a warm hum, closing his eyes and tilting hishead up to the sun, wrapping an arm around Dok’s ribs and walkingforward towards the others again.

“Little bit of both,” he says, and makes his twin laugh.

Blue and Red are leaning over a sign in front of the condorexhibit, Blue translating the extinction prevention discussion outloud to his twin, their color-coordinated heads tilted towards eachother while the condor parades itself in front of them, pausing onlyto groom its heavy wings. Across the way, Anti is holding Dappergently, one hand on his waist and one hand holding his, trying tokeep him from getting too over-excited and faint. It’s not unusualfor him to over-emote when Anti’s making obvious attempts to spoilhim, and he hasn’t been out of the house in weeks - maybe a month,Trick can’t remember. It’s almost too much for him, especiallygiven his passion for zoos, exploration, and tiny animals.

“Baby, baby, baby,” he is babbling, pointing and signing andgrabbing Anti’s hand over and over again. He seems to buzzunderneath Anti’s hands, rocking on his dress shoes. “Baby birdbaby baby baby.”

“All okay,” soothes Anti, and Trick sees a small, fond smilesitting on his mouth, carefully holding back their youngestbrother. “All okay. We’re okay. Dapper, my Dapper.”

The quail chicks in the pen before them bop along on tiny sticklegs after their big fat mama, cheeping weepily for attention andpoking around at the dirt.

“Apparently there used to be like, thirty of these left in thewild!” Blue runs his fingers over the informational again. “Butthey’ve really made a comeback. One of few endangered species thathas…”

“Poor sucker.” Red clucks his tongue, shaking his head at thebird. “It’s almost as ugly as you are, Blue.”

“Red, we are identical.”

“Yes, Red, don’t say that.”

“See, Dok-Dok agrees.”

“Oh, I just meant the condor doesn’t deserve to be calledugly.”

Red cackles and Blue has Dok in a headlock, pressing him into theinformational. Trick stops his own hackles from rising - they’rejust playing, Dok is laughing, and Red and Blue are bigger than himanyway, so even if Blue was actually hurting him, it would be betterto sit back quietly and be ready for the aftermath than to try andintervene.

Trick turns back to the quails and finds Anti looking back at him,a rare smile on his mouth. He softens to meet Anti’s eyes and Antilets go of Dapper’s waist to reach a hand out towards him,beckoning. Trick’s heartrate picks up and he hurries towards him,grasping his hand tight before it can be pulled away. Anti laughs andsqueezes his palm tight, pulling him and Dapper off towards the nextexhibit.

Red uses the last of his sols to buy Blue a handful of bird feedand he glows with laughter as the birds converge on him, pecking athis filled palms. Dapper continues to buzz and whistle and click andsign through the big cats, the ungulates, the penguins, and themonkey house, including the baby lemur, but he stills when they reachthe hyenas just in time to see them being fed, his big eyes fixed onthe moving bodies of the cats, his head tilted, calmed as Antistrokes his back. A butterfly lands on Dok’s nose inside thebughouse. Anti pulls out his phone and takes a picture.

The reptile exhibit is a long line of darkened tunnels, bodieswrithing across stone and tree and little cups of water. The smell ofsnakes is over-sweet and reeks in the air.

“Very cool,” says Trick, lead by Anti.

“Very edgy,” Anti replies, and Trick snorts. Dapper puts hispalm on the cool glass of a snake cage and watches the body move,nodding slowly like they’re speaking to each other.

“Look how fat he is,” mumbles Blue, entranced with a very fatfrog.

In the dark hallway, they are all close and slowed by the smallcages, each one deserving a moment of admiration. Anti pulls Trickand Dap to the tarantula at the end of the hall and humsappreciatively, staring at it.

“Don’t let your twin see that, huh, Trick?” says Anti,swinging their hands back and forth. Trick looks up at him, warmed.

“How’d you know he doesn’t like spiders?”

“I know Dok.” Anti turns to him, frowning a little. “I knowall of you.”

“Excuse me?” says a young boy in broken English, pausingbeside them before Trick can answer. Anti startles and drops theirhands, turning to regard the kid, probably about twelve or thirteen.

“Yes, bud?” asks Trick, grinning at him.

“Are you Jacksepticeye?” he asks Anti, beaming through gappedteeth. “Can I have picture?”

In the lowlight, Trick watches the color drain from Anti’s face.Even if he couldn’t read Anti’s warning signs himself, he wouldknow the sudden danger from the way Dapper distances himself fromthem, pushing his back into the glass of the tarantula exhibit andhis fear into the back of his head, leaving him small and contriteand dull in the eyes, the easiest mental space when big brother isangry.

“No,” says Anti, too soft. The snake cage behind him flowswith slithering movement as a python shifts. “Estas confundido.”

The boy’s face falls. “No eres Jack?”

Anti steps forward, his boots striking stone. The kid jumps,startled by the look on his face, and, with one glance at the tattoosburned into Anti’s forearms, turns to rush back to his parents.

Anti stills, staring at the cold floor, rubbing the circle on hisupper arm, his mouth slightly open. He can hear Dapper’s breathingpicking up beside him and he sees his youngest screw his eyes shut,rubbing at his head.

“Anti?” mumbles Trick. “Who’s Jack?”

Anti grits his teeth. “Go get the fake halter,” he hisses.“This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have wornthis…”

Trick breathes in and out shallowly, trying to diffuse whatever’shappening before it happens. “I thought you said you were comfiestlooking like this.”

“Go get my halter,” snaps Anti, rubbing at his face. And then,softening: “Please, Trickster, and don’t say that name again.”

“J - infected eye,” signs Dapper aggressively, nearly strikinghimself in the face. “J - infected eye.”

“Go get Blue too,” murmurs Anti, turning to grip Dapper’sshoulder.

“You make - forget.” Dapper is frantic, gripping at hiswrists. “You make - steal him from me -  I want - I want - mybrother -”

Anti shoves him into the corner, taking his chin firmly in hishands and making him meet his eyes. Trickshot rushes back towards theothers.

“You didn’t hear anything important.”

“I - I - I did.” Dapper is suddenly shaken, blinking,heart-racing. “He said - ”

“You didn’t hear anything important.” His dark eyes boreinto him.

“Anti, too much, dizzy, please - ”

“You didn’t hear anything important.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t…”

“Ah, there you go, sweetheart.”

Dapper’s eyes are glazing, drifting back to Anti’s, his mouthparting dully. Anti holds his head securely to keep him fromdrifting. “Stay with me. You didn’t hear anything important.”

“I didn’t… hear anything important.”

“There you go. There you go. Hey, don’t close your eyes, stayconscious.”

Blue is at his side, gripping at his shoulder. “What happened?Is he okay?”

“Probably just a hallucination. Right, Carve?”

“Right…”

“Oh, here, Dap, I’ve got you.”

“I didn’t hear anything important. I didn’t hear anythingimportant.”

Blue leads Dapper away, his little brother clinging woozily to hischest. Red is left behind with Anti, pulling the halter out of hisbag, Trick hovering nervously behind them while Dok hurries afterBlue and Dap.

“What really happened?” asks Red.

“Bad name,” Anti mumbles.

“Fuck.” Red glances around, trying to make sure they’rehidden. They need a better spot than this. He puts his arms aroundAnti’s shoulders and leads him towards a shadowed water fountain.

“I’m fine,” growls Anti, low, his eyebrows furrowed and hiseyes closed, letting Red lead him.

“Anti, you’re glitching.”

Anti grits his teeth and lets Red press him into a corner by thewater fountain, hiding his color-burn stomach with his body. Trickhurries towards him as he begins to dissolve at the seams, breathingharshly through his teeth.

“Anti,” Trick says, patting his chest. “Just calm down, man.Hey, breathe with me, okay?”

“Get off me,” heaves Anti, pushing at his hands. “Trick, Idon’t need - ”

“Anti.” Trick steadies his hands on his shoulders, helping Redshield him in the corner while Dok and Blue guard and hold Dapperbehind them, glancing warily around and keeping their heads down low.“You’ve done this for me before. It’s alright. Breathe in,follow me.”

“Don’t even need to breathe,” chokes Anti, but a secondlater air is sliding in through his teeth as he watches Trick’schest rise.

“And out…”

“Not scared,” pants Anti, trying to keep the breath steady asit leaves him.

“I know, buddy,” says Red softly, patting his back.

“In…”

They rise like mountains.

“Out…”

Fall like waves. Anti ripples with power and distress, but hisdissipating stomach is coming back together.

Time shakes past them the way it always does when panic is high,cold and swift and slow and still. Anti lets his head fall down onTrick’s collarbone and they breathe in sync. Rise and fall. Riseand fall.

“I’m fine,” grumbles Anti.

“Better to be safethan sorry,” says Trick.

“It’s my faultanyway,” hisses Anti, and the words startle Red so bad he seems toreboot for a second, blinking hard at the sky and looking around like he’sjust woken up. “All of us being in public is stupid. I didn’teven pick another form. Anyone could be tracking us right now. Thiswas a bad idea. We shouldn’t have ever left the house. Why did Ibring even the little one, fuck…”

Red breathes a longsigh out from his teeth, nervous. It can be hard to work with Antiwhen he’s upset – all his emotions seem to lead to anger eventually– but he wants so badly to comfort him.

“We can’t juststay in the house all the time,” he soothes, almost touching Anti’sshoulder, drawing back uncertainly. “You were restless too. Andwe’re having a good time, Anti. We are. Maybe Dapper got upset for amoment, but how excited has he been today? Happier than he’s been ina long time.”

Anti hums, tiltinghis head back and forth, and glances up at Blue and Dapper, wanderingoff arm in arm. “I guess.”

“It was just onemoment. Tell you what – ” He holds his hands gently out and putshis head down a little. Just suggesting, not ordering. Justsuggesting. “How about we go see that last exhibit Dapper wanted tosee and then we’ll head out and get lunch like you said. Let me picksomething up for you and everybody and then we’ll find somewherequiet to go to eat. Just the six of us. And you can wear whatever youwant, and no one will look at us or follow us or hurt us or say badnames. How does that sound?”

Slowly, Anti’s mouthcurves into a small smile. Something warm unravels in Red’s stomach.

He leans forward andshoves their foreheads together. Anti giggles and knocks back.“Dumb-ass,” he sings, pushing Red’s shoulder, avoiding his skin.“Head full of air.”

“Guilty,” saysRed, making him laugh again. “Okay, you want the halter?”

“Yeah. And Trick,put your hat back on. Too many of the same faces walking around, andapparently I always fade right back to his… Okay, hide me.”

Red glances aroundfor eavesdroppers yet again and blocks Anti’s body off with his ownin the corner. A moment later, a knee-high black dog slips in frontof him and he leans loyally down and puts a halter labeled “servicedog – DO NOT TOUCH” around its chest. Anti bites his teeth at himonce and Red jumps hard and then laughs loud, reaching out to strokehis brother’s ears.

“Okay,” he says,getting up and tapping Trick’s hand. “Let’s go see a baby giraffe.”

“Baby baby baby!”they find Dapper signing, held back from the ledge by Blue, laughingand wrapped around his waist. “Baby, baby, baby.”

The giraffe racesaround on its wobbly knock-knees, its mother trying earnestly tocatch and lick it. Dapper falls back, laughing hard, letting himselfcollapse against Blue’s chest, heaving with the joy of it. To be outof the house, to be convinced that you’re free, to be laughing atbaby giraffes!

The black dog swirlsaround his legs and he clicks his tongue, turning his face up in thesun to bask in it. Anti returns to Red’s side and Trick returns toDok’s, and wraps, once more, a safe arm around his safe twin, andholds him while the sun gets low.

Red gets themchicken from a KFC – Lima is coated in them – and brings it backto the car, where the shiny black dog has finally returned to a youngman with mousy brown hair, big round glasses, and a neck wrapped inbandages.

And that’s it,that’s all, he expects, that was nice enough and now they’re goinghome to eat and think about the day and feel okay and safe and happyfor once.

“Hey,” saysAnti, glancing back at Dok. “You said you wanted to see the sightsor something?”

Dok perks up, eyesflickering around in case of a trap. “Yes, maybe.”

Anti pats Trick’sshoulder and gets in the driver’s seat in his stead. “Come on,let’s find somewhere to go to eat.”

Trick leaps intothe hot wet sand of the beach and hollers aloud, racing along theline of the water. A white wash of foam comes pouring across hiscalves and thighs, soaking into his bare feet and retreating again,leaving him cool and clean, laughing as he runs. He scatters a groupof seagulls and spins around, turning his face to the sun and lettinghimself crash onto his back.

“Careful, Trick,”warns Dapper, putting his hands around his sandcastle tower.

“Yeah, careful,Trick,” says Dok, and pours sand all over his bare white chest.Trick yelps and gets up, flinging sand at his twin and making himsplutter. Dok picks up another handful of sand and Trick turns to runeven as Dok rises to his feet, chasing him down into the tide anddumping the sand all over his hair while he shrieks and laughs hisprotest, trying to grab Dok and throw him to the ground.

“No, no, Trick,wait – ” cries Dok as he is lifted up and dragged farther intothe water, gasping with laughter.

“No way,dummkopf, this is what you get!” shouts Trick, and dunks his twinunderneath the water, snatching his glasses off his face and puttingthem on his own in victory.

Dok comes upspluttering and shoving at him, his eyes bright with mirth, and amoment later he is wriggling free and chasing him again.

Dapper turnscartwheels on the beach around his sandcastles, knowing better thanto play rough with his big brothers – Anti hates that, except forpractice fights – but entertained nevertheless. Blue, Red, and Antiare coming down the hill of the private beach they’ve broken into,carrying plates and cups and more food and even wine stolen from thehouse at the top of the hill, empty for months while the owners areaway on vacation in a wealthier part of the world.

But what could bebetter than this, wonders Red, staring out at the shoreline.

Gold light and thesetting sun. The glass shine of the blue water, rocking itself tosleep across soft brown sand. Little crabs scurrying around Dapper’sfeet as he steps curiously around them, water cooling his twinsiblings as they play, Blue singing a song behind him, distant andcontent, his eyes fixed on the horizon, the warm wind sighing throughhis hair. Fried chicken and sand in their socks and broken glass froma break-in. Nothing’s perfect. But this is good. This is good, andsometimes good is the best thing for something to be, good and pureand real and true.

“Dumbasses,”laughs Blue, breaking off his music as he watches them lock arms andpush against each other, Trick threatening to dunk Dok over again.“Come get some dinner, come on.”

Dapper comeslooping loyally back towards his big brothers, but Dok and Trickdon’t seem to have even heard them.

“Let them play alittle,” laughs Anti. “Look how Dok still fights even though he’snot as strong. He knows he’s the big brother. Just by a little. Theyplay well these days. Don’t they fit like puzzle pieces?”

Red turns to glanceat him in time to see Anti dart away to join his brothers in thewater, pushing the both of them into the ocean. Indignant coughingand laughter follows as Dok and Trick flounder and pretend to resist,though neither of them would really ever dunk him in the water.They’re smarter than that. Anti presses kisses to their hair andRed’s heart picks up from the relief of it – to see Anti holdingthem gently again, and Dok softened and smiling, and Trick lookingsafe and happy, flushed with joy.

“This is toosoft,” decides Blue aloud, shoving wine and chicken into Red’sarms.

“What?”

Blue races downinto the water. Red scoffs and turns to pull Dapper under his arm.

“Let’s watch himget dunked til he’s dizzy, you think?”

Dapper shyly slinksan arm back around Red’s waist, pushing his head into his shoulder,smiling. Everything is good and right and then –

Blue wraps his arms around Anti’s stomach and shoves him into theocean.

Dok startles so hard he tumbles back into the water. Trickshotstares open-mouthed, clutching his hair, and Dapper, with a littlegroan, turns around, curls down on himself, and hides his face in hisarms like a black and white hedgepig.

Anti spasms apart into coding in the water and leaps up again onthe beach, spluttering.

Red is shaking toomuch to move, staring at the sand.

“Ass!” yellsAnti, and then he bursts into laughter and leaps up onto Blue’sshoulders, and then, laughing so hard he can barely breathe, Red iswatching Anti riding piggyback, pushing and pulling at Blue, tryingto make him fall and take them both into the water. And eventuallythey both go crashing down, and the water is sloshing over them likeit’s laughing too, and they start a bonfire and eat chicken on thebeach and drink stolen rich man’s wine, and then Anti goes back tothe car and gets his laptop and they watch the movie Blue wanted tosee, pirated in HD, on a beach in Peru.

“You didn’t goswimming,” says Anti.

Red pauses,glancing over at him. His little brother looks back, brown-eyed,mousy-haired, sopping wet and lying on the sand beside him, Dapperasleep against his tummy.

“Oh,” saysRed. He didn’t think he’d remember. “It got dark so quickly.”

“Hm.” Antiturns back to stare up at the oncoming stars and Red mimics himwarmly, listening to Blue breathing as he sleeps beside him, andTrick and Dok sitting by the crackling fire and whispering to eachother, hand-in-hand.

“I thinksometimes,” says Anti, and then he pauses.

“Yes, Anti?”

“I thinksometimes you look after the others so much you forget to look afteryourself.”

Red turns to him,confused.

“I know, Iknow… kind of your job. But sometimes I need you to be well too.And when everyone else is okay, Red, you have to… kind of… blah.I don’t know.”

Anti shrugs,furrowing his heavy eyebrows, and turns back to the stars.

Red breathes inand breathes out.

“It’s kind ofscary,” he says. “When you tell me about the person I used tobe.”

Anti is turnedback to him. Brown eyes. Deep and dark and lovely. Red loves him.

“Because Ijust… don’t want to be that person again.”

Anti softens likea bud unfurling.

“So even littlethings start to seem serious… things like swimming. What if I tryto go swimming, and then I remember so much it makes me feel like adifferent person again, and that different person can’t be who I needto be?”

“Who the othersneed you to be,” Anti replies.

Red shrugs,feeling a prick in the back of his eyes. “I guess.”

Anti’s mouth opensand closes. Opens and closes.

“You have tobe… Red, you have to be more than what other people expect you tobe. I learned that a long time ago. Kind of fucked it all up, but Idid learn it. And I know I need you to be a lot of things, and sooften, too, so I know that seems hypocritical, maybe, butsometimes… when I give you the chance… I just need you to be whoyou need you to be. It’s why we have… nice days. Breaks. Holidays. To be who you all need to be.”

Red wants to belying on his chest instead of Dapper. Red wants to be held by him.Red wants to be laughing in the water with him.

“I… Anti, Idon’t think I know how to do that anymore.”

And if regretflashes across Anti’s face, well, Red doesn’t see it, and if Antiremembers, with guilt or with sorrow or just one dash of longing, theman who Red used to be, well, you will never hear him admit that outloud.

“How about youstart with a swim?” he suggests, pulling away from Dapper andgetting to his feet. He reaches out his hands for Red’s.

Red laughsnervously, letting himself be pulled up. “Sorry, lil bro, but allexistentialism aside, it actually is too dark to swim. Right?”

“Well, not ifyou’ve got a rescue dog,” answers Anti.

And this isn’t Redmisunderstanding, this isn’t Red not getting it. Anti is pleased withhim, Anti is gentle with him, Anti wants to see him happy to, wouldchange into the form of an animal just to let him swim one nightmore.

“It’s dark out,”admits Anti, glancing around. “But we don’t need the light, notreally. I don’t think we ever did. I’ve got you. You’ve got me. Come on. Come swim with me.”

“What – you’dreally do that for me?”

Anti smiles.

Fangless.

Brown-eyed.

He looks so much like someone Jackie loved a long time ago. The differences between them are small. You can miss them if you blink. And Red only ever stares at Anti. Red has learned to miss them all.

“Yeah. Course.For my big brother? Come on. You love to swim.”

His body shiftsand glitches and the black dog is racing towards the nightfall water,the stars shining up above them. And then, with a shout of laughter,Red is off after him, and crashing into the water.

He is afloat. Heis a part of this. He rolls and races and dives and curls. Heavy coldwater, the healthy joyful beating of his own heart. Starlight on thewater, and the strong black body of the dog beneath his hands when hegets lost, always waiting, waiting to bring him back to shore, to thesafety of his family, so he does not get lost in the darkness alwaysaround them.

“I love you,”says Red at three in the morning, half asleep in the shallows, laidacross the back of the dog and stroking at its fur.

Anti sets his headon top of his and closes his eyes.

[johannesviii]

Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2013

The best year in a trio of awesome years for hits. So awesome, in fact, I had to leave several excellent songs out of the list, even with two additional slots, and limit the list to songs I actually put on my mp3 player at one point or another.

What’s that? People usually call it a bad year? Well screw them.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

The year I stopped working in Paris, found a job closer to home that finally made me feel helpful in the grand scheme of things, and I finally had more free time. Goodbye daily trains. I also went to some concerts! This never happened before.

2013: also the year when just about every band and artist I liked decided to make a good album. Except Depeche Mode. Depeche Mode made Delta Machine. It wasn’t great. But, uh, let’s see, Placebo made Loud Like Love (with the fantastic A Million Little Pieces), VNV Nation made Transnational, Daft Punk made Random Access Memories... Nine Inch Nails came back with Hesitation Marks, which is pretty great with a couple of fantastic songs. Lady Gaga made the vastly underrated ArtPop! Even Eminem made a pretty decent album! Eminem! In the year of our lord 2013! And The 1975 made their debut album. They would eventually become one of my favorite bands of the 2010s, but not yet, though. And Indochine redeemed themselves by releasing Black City Parade, their absolute best album of the decade.

However, despite Indochine’s excellent effort and the return of Nine Inch Nails, the album of the year, at least to me, was Kveikur by Sigur Rós. At that point, I had been following their stuff for ten years, and this album still blew my goddamn mind. It’s so heavy and dark and so different from what they had been doing since Agaetis Byrjun. It’s loud and textured and industrial and yet, there’s so much light above the dark. They out-NIN’ed Nine Inch Nails. There isn’t a single track I don’t love on this album. It’s their best one in my humble opinion.

As far as unelligible songs go, boy, where do I start. Uh. Copy of A and Came Back Haunted (Nine Inch Nails), certainly, A Million Little Pieces (Placebo) as I already mentioned, Memoria and College Boy (Indochine - I’m actually shocked they aren’t on the French top 100), Chocolate by The 1975, and most infuriating of all, Castle of Glass by Linkin Park, which is imho their best song of the 2010s. Oh well.

But there’s still a shit ton of stuff which was elligible but didn’t make the list. Here’s a lot of honorable mentions. There were like ten more of them initially, mind you.

Sirens Call (Cats On Trees) - You know how in just about every top ten post I’ve made so far, there’s a song where I’m like “if I had better taste this would be higher”? This is this song for 2013.

Don’t You Worry Child (Swedish House Mafia) - Catchy but borderline annoying. Still very good.

Counting Stars (One Republic) - This is so happy and catchy. More songs like this nowadays, please.

I Cry (Flo Rida) - Still elligible. Still great. Still not on the list.

Ho Hey (The Lumineers) - Same thing here, sadly.

Animals (Martin Garrix) - I called Bangarang from the previous list a perfect stim song, and this is in the same ballpark. Not as good, but great shapes and colors all around.

Berserk (Eminem) - That song has a lot of really bad lines, but also a lot of much needed energy, it’s a ton of fun, and I love the “say f█ck it before you kick the bucket” part of the chorus. I was so glad to hear Eminem having fun again. Would certainly have made the list in a more mediocre year. Not the most infuriating thing I had to leave out of the list, though.

Radioactive (Imagine Dragons) - THIS IS IT THE APOCALYPSE OH WOHO no I don’t have anything intelligent to say, it’s just great.

Best Song Ever (One Direction) - This is my favorite song from that band. It might be because it sounds suspiciously like Baba O’Riley. If you think I’m gonna complain about people ripping off good songs, please check my entry about I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas a few top 10s before this one.

Wait. Waiiit. What if the “best song ever” they can’t remember in the lyrics WAS Baba O’Riley?? Wouldn’t that be the best meta song ever? What do you think? I mean, that one could indeed claim the title of best song ever.

Get Lucky (Daft Punk) - I know. I know. But I couldn’t put it on the list. It’s not my favorite song from the album, it was overplayed, and even if it’s extremely good it stays roughly at the same level for the entirety of the song. I love it, but I had to draw the line somewhere and cut the list. I didn’t want to make another top 15.

Carry On (fun.) - This was the last cut from the list. It was a really painful one. Not my favorite song from them, but still very, very good.

There’s been lists where I had to put filler. If I had to put actual grades to them, some songs I put on some lists would get a 6/10 or even a 5/10 for really bad years (looking at you 1990). Sometimes, I had to put stuff I’d grade 7/10 as high as #3.

If I had to grade this 2013 list according to my personal taste in music, #12 would get an 8/10, #11 would get a 9/10, and everything in the top ten would either be a 9,5 or a 10. No joke. That’s how good that year was for hits.

Let’s go.

12 - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light’Em Up) (Fall Out Boy)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

There you have it. Three songs from a band I consider pretentious asshats ended on my lists. Including this one, in a year where I decided to severely limit my options for songs. And at the time? I thought it was just an okay song, way too slow but okay. Not great. At all.

It took it about three whole years to grow on me, and it also took me a while to actually know what it was about, and as I said previously, framing is everything ; knowing this song basically said “we’re back, and we’ve changed, and you’re not gonna like it so you’re gonna feel betrayed and you’re gonna burn your old posters, and in the end you’re also gonna betray us” makes it a lot, lot better. I especially love the “Burn everything you love then burn the. ashes” line with the weird pause for emphasis.

It just goes stomp, stomp, stomp. It’s heavy. You can’t dance to it. You can’t even have fun while listening to it. But you can certainly stomp along, and feel angry, and, yes, betrayed, and three years after 2013, I certainly needed that kind of song. A lot. You know exactly why.

11 - Burn (Ellie Goulding)

US: Not on the list / FR: #54

I discovered Doctor Who at the very, very end of 2013, and for some reason I associate this song with Martha’s journey during the year that never was at the end of S3, trying to convince the entire Earth to fight back against the Master. That’s all I have to say about this song. It’s great.

10 - Instant Crush (Daft Punk ft Julian Casablancas)

US: Not on the list / FR: #26

So yep, Get Lucky isn’t my favorite song on Random Access Memories, and thank you French charts for allowing me to put this one on the list instead.

Like a ton of people, I couldn’t figure out what the chorus was, apart from a couple of isolated words, and that felt exactly like being 10 and trying to decipher songs with my limited English. And then I checked the lyrics, and they were mostly variations on “I don’t want to be alone” and they rhyme “go” with “go”, so, uh, nothing of value was lost that day. And it still sounds fantastic.

9 - Applause (Lady Gaga)

US: #37 / FR: #66

Yes, there’s some really stupid shit in the lyrics and the theme of the song itself isn’t particularly inspiring, but that chorus is a happy burst of fuzzy bright angular shapes, and it’s so energetic it feels like you could phase through walls by sheer force of will while listening to it. It would be even higher if the lyrics were better, I swear.

8 - Papaoutai (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #4

And the boss of cleverly written hit songs strikes again. Pretty sure that one, like Alors On Danse, is well known even if you don’t speak French. As I understand it, apparently French teachers like to use it in class. But yeah, just in case: it’s a song about his absent father. My favorite part:

Un jour ou l'autre on sera tous papas (One day or another we’ll be dads) Et d'un jour à l'autre, on aura disparu (And one day or the next, we’ll be gone) Serons-nous détestables? (Will we be despicable?) Serons-nous admirables? (Will we be admirable?) Des géniteurs ou des génies (Parents or geniuses) Dites-nous qui donne naissance aux irresponsables? (Tell us who birthes irresponsible people?) Ah, dites-nous qui, tiens (Ah, tell us who ; weird) Tout le monde sait comment on fait des bébés (Everybody knows how to make babies) Mais personne ne sait comment on fait des papas (But nobody knows how to make dads)

And it’s also horribly catchy. And it was kind of a meme here. It was everywhere. I’m surprised it wasn’t even higher than that on the French year end top 100.

7 - Underwater (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

Why do I love this song so much even though I usually hate songs like that. This is the kind of romantic bullshit Robbie Williams does, and for the record I absolutely hate Angels, and Underwater even sounds a bit like Angels, and it also has the same kind of corny central metaphor. So. Why do I love Underwater again? How can I justify this? I’ve got no clue.

We don’t deserve Mika.

6 - I Need Your Love (Calvin Harris ft Ellie Goulding)

US: #56 / FR: #51

By now you must all be extremely tired of reading me describing songs in visual ways but this song is the sound equivalent of some sort of light show mixed with Dance Dance Revolution patterns. It’s incredibly kinetic and full of joyful, glittering energy, and I love it so goddamn much.

As a 90s kid who loved eurodance, I’m incredibly grateful this kind of music still exists and is still charting.

5 - Treasure (Bruno Mars)

US: #30 / FR: #23

Speaking of nostalgia. Well, not really, since I wasn’t born in the era this is trying to mimic, but still. I don’t have anything to say about this, apart maybe from the fact this is the song that finally made me like Bruno Mars.

4 - Hey Brother (Avicii)

US: Not on the list / FR: #18

I already mentioned how much I loved Avicii’s music when I briefly talked about Levels, and Hey Brother is even better. As you might know I have a little brother and as it is often the case with siblings we fought a bit but we also shared a lot of things, and games, and weird private jokes, and yeah that song can occasionally make me cry a fair bit if I’m being honest.

Also, it’s kind of my main theme song for Charley and C’rizz, so, yeah, it’s just another layer of Feelings(tm).

3 - I Will Wait (Mumford & Sons)

US: #52 / FR: Not on the list

As you might have noticed, there’s one genre that is conspicuously absent from my lists as far as the US hit songs are concerned, and that’s country. I’ve got nothing against country music, I just rarely find it visually interesting. Now I do like folk rock on the other hand, but its big era is long gone, and it’s quite rare to hear anything from it in the charts nowadays. I liked Ho Hey by the Lumineers, but I always thought it was a little bit too slow.

And then I found Babel by Mumford & Sons at the library, gave it a try, loved it, felt like discovering a modern band version of Bob Dylan with simpler lyrics, and this isn’t my favorite song on the album and it’s still at #3 on this list. Quality, man, just quality.

My favorite song from the album is Lover of the Light, by the way.

2 - Can’t Hold Us (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)

US: #5 / FR: #8

Sometimes you need angry fight songs, sometimes you need energetic fight songs, and sometimes you need happy fight songs. And when something combines the last two, it’s like you caught a star in a Mario game and you’re f█cking unstoppable.

If Macklemore doesn’t get more hit songs at some point in the near future I’m gonna punch a wall.

1 - Roadgame (Kavinsky)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

This song has no music video. It was still an enormous hit.

As you may recall, I already said once or twice that I liked to hang out at the disc store after class while I was in highschool and uni, and it still happened regularly after I started to work. Even nowadays, if I had a really, really bad day, there’s a good chance I’ll go there and spend at least an hour there just listening to stuff.

So here I was, one fine (actually bad) day, and this song was playing, and I was mesmerised, and for the first time ever, I felt the need to find a vendor and ask what was playing. I found one and the guy instantly beamed and went “oooooh I picked that album to play it in the store today! :D That’s Kavinsky, he’s great, here, have a listen” but it was already getting late so... I trusted him and basically bought the album blind.

Best decision ever. On top of being one of the best albums of the 2010s, OutRun is a concept album presented as if it was the soundtrack of a movie that never existed, about a young guy getting killed in a car crash in 1986 and somehow fusing with his car mentally and reappearing as some sort of technological zombie in 2006. And Roadgame is one of the best songs on the album if not the best. Well, my favorite song on it is actually Testarossa Autodrive, but you get my point.

I was like “there’s no way this is going to be big”, and I was dead wrong, thankfully. As a big fan of electronic music full of lights and flashes and colors but with dark overtones, I couldn’t be happier about this being one of the sounds of the year. Just fantastic stuff.

It’s 2020, man. Please drop that second album. We’re ready to have our minds blown all over again. Just do it.

Also, thank you random vendor from the disc store.

Next up: I have no idea why some people call 2014 a really bad year for hit songs tbh

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

We’ve Got Tonight

Summary:  He’d managed to keep the secret to himself and away from his friends. Nobody questioned the Bruce Springsteen poster he remembered adding to his bedroom shortly after the summer. He just loved music and good ol’ Springsteen....The Boss was an American symbol...and a better one than Goddamn apple pie.

Ships: Reddie 

Inspired by this song: We’ve Got Tonight - Bob Seger 

Word Count: 7,353

It was late. God, it was really late. 

Would the noise of his screeching wheels wake them up? Richie couldn’t really decide. His long ass legs were crunched up against the side of his car so he could rest his elbow on the door. He sported a bemused sort of grin but their was something disturbingly distorted about it. It was through no illusion or mind-game. Just the simple fact that in his anxiety, Richie was pressing his chin hard into his open palm and crumpling his skin. 

The car seats were leather, originally they’d been an old kind of fabric. But that had been because his entire vehicle was actually new and shiny. The fabric seating suited his old and dusty piece of shit car. There’d been quite a few stains here and there which was mostly from the fact that he’d taken the console extension outta that one...so no cup-holders. But bye-bye disgusting and long past fixable console. He used to be forced to hold his steaming coffee every morning on his way to work which was never a smooth event. But as lady luck would have it, before he could replace the damn thing, Richie got himself a steady gig with a good flow of money. So the whole damn car changed.

He got a little smug about it too. It would’ve been hard not to. Nothing felt better than driving it on a sunny day to a job where people seemed to appreciate him. He’d drum his hands all over the wheel to the Beach Boys and think about the jokes he was going to tell. Of course, ideally, the material would be his own but...you gotta do what you gotta do to earn the money, huh? So he put up with it. He was succeeding that way and who knew if people would think he was funny all on his own? Why else would it be suggested he read outta someone else’s joke book repertoire? ‘He was class clown funny, not household name...stand-up comic funny’. He never was gonna let that comment go, it seemed. He regurgitated it all the damn time to remind himself that’s what outsiders thought. 

The Loser’s laughed. In fact, Ol’ Beverly Marsh almost choked on her dinner when he’d managed an impression. Man, that had made him feel good and it only spurred him on. But no amount of laughter or fond memories could make him really want to stay and do what Mike was talkin’ about. It did not outweigh the kind of memories buried deep inside him that triggered that hot load of vomit after the phone-call. 

The kind of memories that he wanted to stay buried. Needed, even.

Mike had been right-which was nothing knew apparently. Richie sighed, pushing his head back into the seat. He wanted to drive away. Leave Derry in his dust just like he’d done so long ago. He wouldn’t mind the trip. He actually really enjoyed road-trips. Before he’d shot down the high-way to get back here, Richie had breakfast at some shitty little truck-stop diner place. The waitress had tried to talk him into an apple pie for dessert....‘you wont regret it’ she’d said with a wink. He denied the offer but she still came back with the plate. ‘On the house’. The napkin she’d served it on had her number smeared across the width in blue pen. 

He usually kept those kinds of things, just never did anything with em’. He’d kid himself by saying it was a cheap shot and not the kind of way he’d liked to be hit on. But maybe it was more about the kind of person. 

Who was he kidding? What a damn joke. The minute he set his eyes upon Eddie fucking Kaspbrak again....he was faced with that other buried piece of trauma. 

It was about the person and he didn’t even fucking like apple pie. Who really wants fruit in their dessert anyway?

Richie smacked his forehead against the steering wheel as if that might knock the memories outta his head. But they lingered there still. 

He’d been such a moron. Overcompensating with dirty jokes and ‘pulling his pigtails’ because how else would a clueless kid flirt with someone he barely even knew he was flirting with? Eddie would be none the wiser if Richie messed with him. He’d just roll his eyes and bicker with him...not guessing for a second that Richie was dying a little every-time Eddie touched him. 

But what was in the past was in the past, right? He had always craved attention and laughter, so he had just been confusing the joy he got from Eddie’s for a ‘crush’. Simple. 

But more and more memories came to him when he had hit Derry. Begging himself to stop noticing things about other boys while he tried to pick out a damn box from the cereal aisle like a normal kid. But the boy by the Kix had given him a friendly smile and Richie’s stomach had flipped. Enough so that he picked out a box of Kix which was dumb because that cereal was shit. Was not sugary enough for any kid’s taste. 

He could remember the early days of his crush now. Laying on his stomach on the carpeted floor of the Kaspbrak bedroom. They’d usually be reading comics or some shit and Richie would notice the way Eddie’s lips moved even though he wasn’t reading out-loud. There’d be a wave of butterflies before an awful feeling of embarrassment would take over. He’d always feel ashamed and gross whenever Eddie would glance up at him, having been oblivious to his internal dilemma. So he’d shove it down and never talk about it. 

Which he’d done. 100% successfully too...though there had been a couple hiccups. A few traumatizing insults were thrown. But he’d managed to keep it to himself and away from his friends. Nobody questioned the Bruce Springsteen poster he remembered adding to his bedroom shortly after the summer. He just loved music and good ol’ Springsteen....The Boss was an American symbol...and a better one than Goddamn apple pie. 

Richie gagged a little and sat up once more, curling his hands tighter around the wheel. 

He’d really expected nothing to come of these memories because they were stupid and childish. And shit he didn’t even remember until he got into town. 

But then he strolled into that restaurant and his eyes found him immediately. Eddie Kaspbrak. All he had to do was look at him and despite having a good ass excuse...Richie had been wondering just how he managed without him. Any defense he had against this (which was none because he really assumed that it wasn’t a big deal) failed. In an instant, he was wrapped around Eddie’s finger once more. 

After all these fucking years Richie was still crazy about him. Absolutely gone on him. Which was just...another wonderful thing to add to the list of shitty things going on. 

He wasn’t sure what he was planning on doing, sitting in his car in the middle of the night with his bags still packed. But there was an obvious option that was teasing him. ‘Just drive away. Find a nice Rock station and drive off.’ 

But he couldn’t actually bring himself to do it. But he had shifted it to drive a few times only to go right back into park before he could actually move. He was starting to hate himself. 

At some point he was going to have to make a decision or sleep in his car. He stared at the stars hanging above his view and felt that sense of insignificance. Usually that would be a daunting feeling but tonight...it was kind of comforting. Because hell, his life was such a small dot in the universe. For the first split second since returning to Derry, Richie didn’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. Nothing fucking mattered. 

But he could die tomorrow. Richie sighed for the millionth time and clasped his hand around the door handle. There was tonight but...after that? Who knew. Man, he wouldn’t be surprised if Pennywise danced on over to the outside of his car. Waiting to corner him. 

His stomach dropped. ‘Shit, if he died...’ Richie audibly hiccuped because ‘What a miserable last few years.’ Barely a day back ‘home’, surrounded by strangers who were really his best friends...and he was already dreading the fucking loneliness waiting for him if he made it out alive. ‘Which was the scarier option here, huh?’

Eddie’s face popped back into his mind and now was not the time to get himself worked up....not in that way. Richie shook his head and immediately thought about the ol’ dirty magazine that he used to have under his childhood bed just to get rid of that kind of thought. Which....was so strange. That was a defense mechanism so familiar to his younger years in Derry. Man, he hadn’t thought about the women in those pages in years. Yet the idea to cover up those dirty thoughts with that particular magazine was purely instinctual in the moment. God, everything was so strange. 

And he was wasting gas. Richie sighed, turning his key and admitting to himself that as scared as he was right now, he could not pull the trigger and leave. But he was sort of hoping that he could work up the courage later on. The radio cut off in the middle of a good song and he hurled himself out of the vehicle. He tried to bury his previous idea of a threat waiting for him outside and quickly took the bag from out the back window and trudged back to the Townhouse. 

There was no way in Hell that he was gonna get any sleep unless he unloaded the pile of shit that were the thoughts swimming in his head. His eyes fell upon Bill’s room, he remembered him being an excellent shoulder to cry on. Sturdy...and broad now. 

Richie swallowed and set his beg against the wall, taking a few steps towards Bill’s door before realizing that he really didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of him. Another oddly familiar feeling. 

He backed off and turned around. He ignored the brief but present way his mind flashed with ‘Stanley’ as an option because it hurt and unless he could contact his fucking ghost...he was outta luck. 

As he turned back, unsure of where he was really going, he spotted Eddie’s door and halted. It felt like he got punched in the gut or something just from seeing the number on the door. He hated himself sometimes. 

He really wanted to see Eddie right now. He stepped forward with purpose only to freeze once again because-‘What the Hell do I think I’m doing?’.

He had worked himself up into such a state that he was sort of afraid of what might pour out of his mouth just from locking eyes with Eddie. ‘But maybe that was a good thing.’ Richie stepped forward again. Maybe he could just allow all his built-up feelings to escape him and be done with it before it was too late. 

‘But that would mean actually admitting to shit’ Richie moved back once more and curled his hands, pressing his nails into his palms with frustration. He felt like an idiot but damn, he was now aching to talk to Eddie...even just to make fun of each other. Something, anything. 

He raised his first up to knock. He was just planning on maybe unloading his nerves and nothing more because he couldn’t handle looking like an idiot. He barely noticed that he was mumbling a very poor Stevie Wonder impression he’d been working on to himself . ‘I just knocked... to say I love you.’ His voice was soft and sing-songy-

The door opened before Richie had the chance to make contact and it wasn’t gentle either. The heavy door swung open and shocked both men enough for each of them to leap backwards. 

“Fuck! Don’t ya know how to knock?” Richie smacked his hand to his chest and sighed. 

Eddie’s brow quirked with a touch of confusion and amusement. “You’re in the hallway, Rich.” 

The taller man stood up straighter and looked around like he’d forgotten his surroundings. Pale yellow wallpaper with freckles of brown designs were swallowing them whole. ‘Yup that’s the hall’ Richie shoved his glasses back up the slope of his nose and nodded. “Oh yeah.” 

Eddie had the audacity to do one of those closed-mouth chuckles and lean on the door-frame. 

‘I could die tomorrow...’ Richie swallowed. 

“Did...-did you want something?” Eddie asked, glancing around his room with that cautious eye. Before Richie could answer, Eddie’s eyes landed on something Richie assumed was gross just by his facial expression. “Man, This place could stand to be deep cleaned.” 

Richie opened his mouth.

“Seriously. A lot of disgusting people have been in here before me.” His nose twitched which was something he often did. It inflicted Richie with that same warm sense of comfort he’d had when they were all at the restaurant. 

“That’s funny. I said that same thing to your mother-”

“Ha ha. You seekin’ me out to make these jokes now, asshole? I can see if we’re all hanging out but to come to my door-” 

Richie shoved his hands into his pockets and raised his brow with amusement while Eddie worked himself up. “No, Eds. That’s obviously not why I’m here.” He chuckled and stood awkwardly at the door while Eddie shuffled about his room. ‘How else was he supposed to let out all his pent up rage and anxiety?’ Richie tilted his chin down and rolled his lips together to keep from grinning because ‘Fuck. Even now...Eddie just gets to me.’

“Why did you come here, exactly?” He held kicked one of the blankets off his bed and sighed. He blinked at the thing like it depressed him before he quirked his head to glance at his friend. “And why are you just standing there? It’s creepy. You used to invite yourself into my room all the time, what’s the problem now-?” 

They both paused and when Richie moved to just change the topic with a joke or something, Eddie snapped his fingers. “Yeah...you did do that. I remember.” He smiled, the kind of smile that was riddled with nostalgia and joy. 

He just looked so damn proud of himself for remember it. Richie slowly strolled inside and hoped the giddiness wasn’t showing on his face. “Yeah. Getting to the second floor window was not an easy feat for a gangly kid like me, you know?” He rubbed a curled finger under his nose and unearthed a shy sorta giggle that hadn’t been used in years. He intended to add more to the story but found himself choking on the words when Eddie curled onto his bed, legs in the criss-cross position while his hands clasped in his lap. He looked up at Richie with such a genuinely relieved look. A look that said that if Richie went on, Eddie would be happily lifted from the horrors of their lives events. Just for this impermanent moment. It was something he would’ve killed for as a kid, to know that he was actually providing enjoyable entertainment. But right now it was suddenly too much responsibility for him so Richie clamped his mouth shut. 

Eddie paused for a minute, as if giving Richie a chance to go on if he wanted to and the want for him to continue was clear in Eddie’s eyes...but Richie remained shockingly silent. “So, did you want something?” 

Richie swung his hands back and forth a few times before awkwardly slapping them together and clasping them over his chest. “Yeah, sorry to bother you so late...I just...” He took a deep breath and forced himself to chill out and take a seat on the chair nearby. 

Eddie scooted to the edge of his bed looking a little concerned which was only furthering Richie’s embarrassment. 

“Where were you going, by the way?” Richie stuck his thumb out to point at the door where they’d first scared each other to death just a few moments ago. “I know you have a weak bladder so if it was the bathroom, this conversation can wait-” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Of course you remember that about me.” He scoffed and shuffled on the bed. “No asshole. I was just...” He waved his hand around and Richie began to think that maybe he knew what Eddie was gonna do. 

“You were gonna leave too, huh? You put your-what like ten bags?-in your car earlier? You were gonna get outta dodge, huh?” Richie was teasing but he knew as soon as it came out of his mouth that Eddie was offended. 

“No. I wasn’t leaving. I was just gonna go for a walk.” 

“Alone? In the middle of the night? I don’t know, Eds. Doesn’t sound like you-” 

“I just needed to clear my head...and honestly, I’ll start overthinking all this shit if I’m not constantly moving at the speed of light.” Eddie chuckled but he meant it. The man had never been good at settling himself down. He crossed his arms and sighed. “Anyway, you still haven’t told me why you’re here...?” 

The air in the room grew thinner, at least to Richie who was trying very hard not to appear so nervous. He sucked in his breath and leaned his forearms onto his thighs. “I haven’t really decided on a reason for showing up yet-...” He glanced up at Eddie’s watchful stare and that same damn thought came up. ‘I could die tomorrow.’ 

There was so much Richie wanted to say but he barely comprehended it all himself. “How’s your life been?” 

The question seemed to throw his friend completely off his rhythm. Eddie sat up straighter and thought about it for a few seconds. “I mean...-it’s been successful-” 

“Are you happy?” Richie blurted before realizing how invasive he must’ve sounded. He scooted back and fixed his own posture. “Sorry. I’m not so great at...asking appropriate questions. I’m sure you remember that.” He laughed, swiping a finger under his nose again. Eddie opened his mouth but Richie had stopped looking at him. 

“I only ask because...I don’t...I don’t think I’ve been very happy.” He was still laughing but it was edging close to self-deprecating. “I didn’t even really notice that until I got here. In Derry. The most miserable town that I’ve ever seen. Isn’t that fucking funny?” 

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “Rich-?”

“Being with you guys again has been just about the most genuinely happy that I’ve been in years. Paired right up with the most scared I’ve ever been but...I digress.” He sighed and finally looked up at Eddie again. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow but I’m trying to decide if it’s worse to die or to have to go back to...an empty life, y’know?” 

“Don’t say that Rich-”

“It’s true.” He shrugged. “But it’s stupid-...it’s fine. I didn’t mean to come dump this all on you.” He slapped his knees with a tiny grin and stood. He planned on leaving before he could make an even bigger fool of himself but Eddie had crawled to the other end of the bed with his good ol’ lightening speed and grabbed his arm with a startling amount of strength. 

“It’s fine. Richie...we’re all freaking out here.” He tugged his arm in a genuinely concerned way that nearly broke Richie’s heart then and there. “I’d like to talk some more, if that’s ok? This is a lot.” 

Ahhh that was a trick Richie remembered too well. He wasn’t a person who liked to talk about himself and he never was. But if Eddie ever detected a problem, he used to like to pretend to turn the conversation around because actually he wanted to talk. But it was just a way to allow Richie to feel like it was ok to open up because it wasn’t really all about him. ‘No-seriously, I want to talk about it Richie’. Eddie used to say. 

But damn, he was gonna fall for it again. “Ok, Kaspbrak.” He shrugged and shoved Eddie over to take up half the bed. He most definitely ignored the man’s triumphant grin. He picked at a loose thread on his shirt.

Eddie tilted his head back, chin pointed to the sky but when he did one of those breathy sighs, it slowly fell forward again. And then he turned to look at his friend. Richie felt some alarms going off in his head. It was strangely too intimate. “I’m married, have a good job, I’m successful...” He trailed off “But...there’s something strangely unsatisfying about it all. Like you said...it didn’t completely stand out to me until I got here.” 

Richie bit his lip. “Any idea why?”

“Well, Mike did say the longer we stay-” 

“No, no...I mean...why it’s not satisfying?” Richie hoped to anything that would listen that he didn’t sound annoying again. 

Eddie thought that over. “I don’t really know.” 

Richie felt a flutter of disappointment that he couldn’t quite place. 

“Myra...she’s just like my mom, y’know?” He scratched under his chin and gave a bitter laugh. “I can really pick em’, huh?” He bumped their arms together. 

“Jesus, Eds. You got some pointy frickin’ elbows.” the little insults would honestly never stop but Eddie didn’t seem to mind much. He just dug his elbow in harder. 

“Would you stop calling me that?” 

“Oh, you love it Eds.” He pushed Eddie’s elbow away again and held back a chuckle as he pushed his glasses up. 

“You ever think about contacts?” Eddie’s voice was suddenly soft and curious. It oddly felt somewhat like a sleepover. Not that Richie thought he could stay-no! Just...that same sort of hushed energy was there between them as they sat on the bed together. He hummed. 

“Why ya askin’? Think it’s a bad look?” He laughed but there was a strange insecure tone bleeding into it. 

“No...” He shrugged and turned away for a few seconds and Richie was highly aware he wanted the attention back. 

“I had a guy once...I was on the bus, right? And this dude-took my fucking glasses off and stepped on em’” He waved his arm and made sure to leave enough of the story desired. Eddie’s eyebrows crinkled when their faces met again. 

“What did you do to him?” 

Richie rolled his eyes. “He’d been playing the saxophone. So I started to do that thing where you...pretend to play?” He moved his hands up to his mouth and made a sound that more closely represented a trumpet. “I think you used to whistle like that? With your hands up...” He did it again but whistled this time. Eddie grinned. “Anyway, not important to the story.” He shoved his hands back down. 

“So he got pretty upset-”

“Understandably so.” Eddie felt the need to add with a cheeky little grin and Richie clicked his tongue. 

“Yeah. And so he just sets the instrument down and thunders over. He literally just reaches out and...” Richie took off his glasses and illustrated his point. “No hesitation but he goes right back to playing. And he’s like-staring me down-not blinking- the rest of the time he’s playing right? Only I can’t fucking see it cause he’s halfway down the bus and my glasses are shattered. But the dude on my right is describing it to me.”

Eddie is full on laughing and Richie is in minutes bliss. “Sounds like a weird guy.” 

“Yeah. But I like that kinda stuff. Make for good bits...” He sighed. “I mean, for a person who maybe writes their own material.” He added with a bitter tone. 

“Why don’t you...? Write your own stuff, I mean?” Eddie rubbed his finger against the side of his nose. His voice got that sleepover tone again. 

“Ehhhh well.” Richie shrugged, not sure how to answer him. "That’s show business for you baby.” He did some kinda funky old man voice but bled it back into his own “Nah, I mean...just kinda got told one day that I was more of a class clown then a stand-up comic. So if I ever wanted to be a name then I’d better switch it out.” 

He pretended that he wasn’t bothered and he figured maybe Eddie won’t notice. Hell, it’d been a long time and they barely remembered each other but he knew. 

“Maybe when this is all over, you can remedy that. Don’t let it get to your head but you always made me laugh.” He poked his arm gently. “I bet it helps you fix some of that emptiness you mentioned.” He was putting on that gentle tone like he was a bit hesitant to bring that up again. 

Richie’s stomach dropped a tiny bit. “Maybe some of it.” He wanted to say ‘Life doesn’t work that way, Eds. I can’t just pull that off’ but he just rolled his lips together. 

"What else do you think is causing it?” 

Richie scoffed. “Doctor K is a therapist now, huh?” He bumped their arms together again but his friend only rolled his eyes. 

“Shut-up asshole. I’m just trying to help.” He bit back but softened down again almost immediately. “It’s a concerning thing to hear from someone you care about, is all.” His shoulders shrugged and dragged against the wall. 

“Eddie we didn’t even remember each other yesterday.” 

“That’s not fair and you know it.” Eddie scowled.

“Yeah, sorry.” Richie sighed, his shoulders gradually coming down for a moment’s relaxation. The room went silent again and he found his eyes tracing the furniture and objects thrown about the place. Eddie’s jacket was neatly caressing the top of the desk chair but his two of his suitcases were chaotically opened and laying on the floor. “Man, twenty-seven years. Where’d the time go?” Richie mumbled, mostly to himself. It was the strangest thing...to feel like time had passed them too quickly yet not truly being able to recall much of those old fuzzy memories which seemed so far gone. 

“I don’t know.” Eddie glanced at him again. 

Richie felt a mixture of feelings but mostly....‘To quote Paul Simon, Still crazy after all these years...'

“How much do you remember, Eds?” He heard himself ask. That pitiful sense of curiosity rose inside of him again. 

Eddie stopped fiddling with his hands and paused for thought, his face twisting a little bit. “Right now?...Mostly just feelings. More so than specific memories, you know?” He shrugged, spinning his thumbs around each other. 

Richie swallowed. “Yeah-yeah, me too.” He was searching for more of Eddie’s answer before the man could even speak again. He watched the way his eyes fell down to his hands whenever he got nervous. “Being scared shitless is the big one at the moment, I’m guessing?”

Eddie nodded but didn’t look to please about it. 

“Anything else?” Richie hoped he didn’t sound desperate but there was something he wanted to have an answer for. 

“Love...for you guys?” Eddie added, looking like it was maybe embarrassing him a little bit to be saying it out-loud. Richie really didn’t want to look like an asshole by asking for something more specifically about him. So maybe it was best to just let it go and move on back to his room to get a good power nap in before they went and did whatever the hell Mike was trying to explain. 

‘But I could fucking die tomorrow.’ That was his mantra, wasn’t it? “Eddie. I got to tell ya something, man.” 

Eddie shuffled a bit closer, bringing up his knee and smiling softly. “I’m assuming it’s the reason you came here?” 

Richie nodded and took a deep breath. He could tell it was unsettling his friend a bit to see him so serious. “I just wanna say all...-all the shit that’s on my mind so please don’t interrupt-” 

“I won’t.” 

Richie raised a brow, a tiny smirk on his face despite his overwhelming nerves. 

“Oops, sorry. Not anymore, promise.” Eddie held his hands up in mock surrender. 

“Ok.” Richie smoothed the palms of his hands down his jeans and tried to work up enough courage to go on. “Listen...Mike was saying that the longer we stay, the more we remember, right?-” Richie couldn’t help but tease Eddie a bit by pausing. 

Just as he suspected, Eddie had some sort of internal struggle of wanting to respond but remembering that Richie asked him not to interrupt. 

But when he realized Richie was just messing with him, he rolled his eyes. “Keep going, asshole.”

He chuckled and reached out to playfully pinch his arm. “Anyway, part of the reason that I’m being such a downer right now is that yeah I’ve realized how fucking lonely it is back home but I’m also sorta remembering why that might be.” 

He stopped again because to be completely honest, he wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to continue this. 

“You and me. Do you remember what we were like?”

Eddie rolled his lips together and smirked. It made Richie’s heart flutter just from the sight of it. “Yeah. We were annoying.” There was a great sense of fondness in his tone. “All the bickering and shit. You loved to torture me, don’t think I forgot that.” Eddie giggled. An actual real giggle that Richie couldn’t believe. 

He opened his mouth, expecting this to be hard. He expected that he’d have to choke the words up but when face with Eddie’s sincere joy...it wasn’t that bad. “Yeah, Eds. I really fucking liked you.” 

Eddie stopped suddenly, his body stiffening and Richie tried not to take it personally. “What do you mean?” 

“Look...I know it’s the middle of the Goddamn night and you probably want to go back to sleep but...” Richie moved his eyes to the ceiling because he’d sure look like an idiot if there were tears. “This is all so overwhelming. I couldn’t have even recognized your name yesterday and now...” He gestured to the man with his open palm before letting it fall back into his lap. 

He pushed his glasses up his nose and chuckled bitterly. “I had the biggest crush on you, Eddie.” He waved his hands because this was starting to become more funny to him. Eddie staring at him with blank confusion, his bubbling nerves and the fact that a murder clown was responsible for so much pain in his life. “It’s all coming back to me the more I look at ya...Man, that’s rich, isn’t it?” 

Eddie’s face was the picture of complete confusion. “You had a crush on...me?”

Richie nodded. “Yeah! Oh man, I used to...like....you know...” He paused, wiggling his fingers in the air as if trying to scramble together a memory. He snapped his fingers. “Listen to Springsteen or some shit alone in my room and think about you and me runnin’ from Derry together and being...I dunno like a couple? It’s lame and a little too ‘Jack & Diane’ for my taste now but I did that. Can you believe it?” He thought about that perfect symbol of an American teen couple from Mellencamp’s famous tune and a flash of some strapping statue came to his mind. He thought it might be that of the ol’ legendary Paul Bunyon fella in town. A deep and awful feeling of fear overtook him for a second but he couldn’t quite remember why.

He clicked his tongue with a laugh, feeling heat in his cheeks like some silly kid. “I’d do all that but then I’d see you and...tell you I fucked your mom and tease you because I was a little shit.” 

Eddie was quiet...very quiet for a few seconds. “I didn’t know that you were-” 

“Yeah. That’d be because I didn’t want anyone to know.” Richie cut him off and regretted a bit of the bitterness tone. “It was a secret.” He rubbed his forehead. “I was just...since I can’t remember it all, I wondered if...” He stopped because he was far too embarrassed to continue.  

“Oh.” Eddie grabbed his own ankle and softly gasped. 

“I’m sorry, Eds. I’m just gonna...” He stuck his thumb over his shoulder and pointed to the door before hoping off the bed. He barely made it an inch before his arm was snagged and he was pulled back with that same strength. He fell back onto the bed.

“No, Rich. Don’t leave. We gotta talk. You can’t just walk out after that.” 

Richie felt his throat close a little at the idea of Eddie letting him down easy. He’d really rather just walk out and pretend this didn’t even happen. “I don’t have anything else to say. That was...it. And it was way too much.” He shook his head and scooted backwards when Eddie shuffled over. 

He immediately wanted to defend himself. “It’s just that we could all very well end up dead tomorrow and I just had to let this out before...everything goes down. I don’t want to die with all this shit still built up, you know? I just needed to know if it was just me which it clearly was. So I’m good now-” He tried to smile but Eddie was obviously not going to buy that. 

“Richie, I’m gonna talk now, ok?” He teased but it was obvious that he was worried he might not be able to get a word in. So, Richie shut it. 

But things went quiet again as Eddie played with the loose blanket threads between their fingers. “Eds, you gonna start or-?” 

He expected the man to slap him playfully again or just straight up tell him to shut his mouth but instead, Eddie just glanced up and sighed so delicately amused and fond. He grinned and moved his hand from the blanket to flick Richie’s hand. “I can’t remember if I ever thought about...us like that, you know?” Eddie tilted his head and moved his eyes to their hands. He continued to lightly tap Richie’s skin as he spoke. “But I can’t for sure say that I never did. There’s something so familiar about...” He gestured to the space between them. He had that unsure look on his face and Richie nodded a few times.

“Yeah, that’s-...It’s what I’m feeling too.” He felt himself smile, it was hopelessly admiring. Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times before pulling his hand back so he could nervously play with his thumbs like before. “What’s the matter? Is it too much? Should I go?” 

Eddie bit the inside of his cheek. “No, it’s just-” He shook his head and leaned back on the wall. His palm moved to rub against his neck, another nervous tick. “I wanted to maybe try something but I don’t want to end up...leading you on or something.” 

Richie almost let out one of those breathy little sighs of complete yearning but was able to stop himself. “I wouldn’t mind.” He blurted but Eddie just crossed his arms.

“You’d think that but-” 

“I gotta know, Eds. For sure. If this helps you...come to a conclusion then by all means, go for it.” 

“You sure about that?” 

He nodded because he’d do anything that Eddie wanted. Richie geared himself up for Eddie to decided against and he’d take that because it was probably the right thing to do. 

But Eddie shuffled closer, knees planted firmly on the bed so he could lift himself just slightly above Richie. The other man was so deliriously happy about it that he could hardly move. Eddie tilted Richie’s chin up with one finger and brought their lips together. It was soft and a little unsure of itself in the beginning but then that one finger under his chin turned into Eddie’s whole hands caressing the sides of his face with one very pleasing slow glide motion against his stubble. 

Richie wasn’t sure how long it lasted but he had to stop himself from chasing it when Eddie pulled back and fell back onto the bed. 

“Wow.” was all the man could say and Richie had to agree with that sentiment. Eddie leaned back on the wall and shook his head. “That’s what that shit is supposed to feel like...ok.” He was speaking to himself, in that speedy little voice of his and Richie felt a tug in his chest. “I don’t think-...I mean...I never thought about that. With Myra it’s, well nothing like that.” 

“Are you ok over there, man?” Richie chuckled but he was still rather dizzy and giddy. ‘It was stupid.’

Eddie looked back at Richie like he’d nearly forgotten he was there. He reached over to his nightstand, opened his drawer and pulled out his inhaler. Richie stopped his urge to roll his eyes when he took a puff. “I have a wife.” 

Richie looked down, eyes a little misty. “Yeah. I know. I’m sorry.” 

Eddie crawled back over and took his old seat right next to Richie again. “Rich, I’m glad you came tonight.” 

Richie put on an expression that clearly displayed that he didn’t quite believe that. 

“I’m not kidding, asshole. And I’m not just trying to spare your feelings.” His voice was tiny and soft. “I told you before...there’s been something so unsatisfying about my life. I just couldn’t put my finger on it, you know?” 

Richie’s stomach was turning from pure nerves and hopeless excitement. He took Eddie’s hand so quickly that it surprised even himself. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen to us tomorrow Eds, that shit is terrifying.” He squeezed their grip. “But we have tonight. That’s something, right?” 

Eddie nodded so Richie softly moved his hand to his cheek. “I’ll do anything you want. You want me to leave and I’ll go. You want me to pretend this didn’t happen, I will. A hundred percent, alright?” he stroked the side of his face and Eddie nodded again. “But...I can stay, if you for some reason think that I’m worth it.” 

Eddie didn’t look too pleased with the self-deprecation but he spoke a strong “I want you to stay” and kept his eyes locked on Richie’s. It was enough to elicit an involuntary freakin’ giggle on Richie’s part. 

He was embarrassed for a solid second or two when Eddie laughed but it was remedied when the man ruffled Richie’s hair. “Fuck. I can’t believe I forgot you.” He narrowed his eyes and gave him an appreciative stare which almost made Richie blush. 

He leaned in and they found their way back to gentle kisses and hesitant touching. It was a comforting and warm feeling that neither of them really wanted to let go of. 

“Eddie, man.” Richie backed off for a few seconds. “I know that you probably got plans and all for...dealing with all this clown business. But I was thinkin’, you know for these last few seconds-” He laughed, making fun of how much of an idiot he was going to sound. “How great would it be if we just...” He gestured his hand towards the window and Eddie followed with that puppy-dog expression. “What if we just ran off, the two of us?” 

“You mean just leave...in the middle of the night?” Eddie wiggled a bit from his position on Richie’s lap. 

Richie nodded and closed his eyes when Eddie laid his palms against his neck. “It’s just a thought. I mean, It’s stupid. Horribly stupid. And not a well thought out plan, I know but...” He opened his eyes again and found Eddie’s eyes which were wide and shaky. It broke him a little. “The two of us in one car for several hours...what could go wrong, huh?” He laughed but Eddie only frowned. “I ruined it, didn’t I?” 

“No-no, You didn’t ruin it.” Eddie chuckled, moving his hand up to brush some of Richie’s hair back. 

“I’m such an idiot for even suggesting it. You got a life and-I’m just being really clingy.” Richie tried to shift Eddie off of him but the man wasn’t allowing it. “It’s just that I’m really fucking happy right now and I don’t want that to go away, you know?” 

“I know.” Eddie agreed. “I’d love to just pack my shit and leave. This is all too much to handle and I’m not sure I can face that clown again, Rich-”

“You can. I know you.” Richie blurted and Eddie smiled. “I’d just rather you didn’t-we didn’t.” He shrugged and Eddie pushed up his glasses for him. 

“I’d love to run out in the middle of the night with you on what-? at least a half tank of gas?” 

“Oh, much less. I hate stopping for gas.” Richie chuckled and Eddie licked his lips. 

“But you know, as well as I do, that we gotta stay.” He knitted his fingers together against the back of Richie’s neck and sighed. 

“You’re always right. I remember that too.” Richie scowled and Eddie kissed his forehead. 

“But it’s like you said...we’ve got tonight-”

“The suns gonna be up soon-”

“We can make it last, Rich.” He sounded so sure of himself that Richie had to believe him. 

They fell together once more and sleepily melted into the bed as they explored each other. Richie had been right, the sun would be creeping up very soon and it would be time to move on. But for now, the men were just enjoying their time alone together. 

When they took the time to rest, Richie curled up against the smaller man which might’ve been extremely funny to him if he weren’t so desperate for touch, Eddie spoke up. “What about after the clown business?” He whispered, dragging his fingers down Richie’s arm which was wrapped around his waist. 

Richie picked up his head from where it had been resting on his chest. “What about it?” 

“You and me...? I mean, what if we...” Eddie paused. 

“I’d be willing, if you were.” Richie didn’t want to answer as fast as he did but ‘man oh man’ he was just about dying to scream a loud ‘yes’. 

“It’s risky...and I’d know.” Eddie laughed at his own little joke before pursing his lips. “Can I give you an answer after all the scary shit is through?” 

Richie chuckled and nodded against Eddie’s chest. “Yeah. ‘Course you can.” 

They laid together in comfortable silence for what felt like a long time. Occasionally, Eddie would run his hands through Richie’s hair and drag his fingers up and down his arm. When Richie hesitantly snuggled closer, Eddie dropped his hand to smoothly remove his glasses for him. “Don’t wanna risk breaking them again, huh?” 

Richie was blissfully drifting to sleep.

                             -------------------------------------------------

The night had ended and tomorrow came, bring with it some of the worst trauma Richie could imagine. And he never did get an answer from Eddie before...

Richie desperately tried to remember the good times while he re-carved their initials on the bridge. But he bitterly kept thinking about how Eddie never even knew that he did this. He’d been right before. They did have that night. And that night only. 

He finished his work on the ‘E’ and admired it for a few seconds. 

He’d remember that night for the rest of his life. Not only had he been given the chance to lay with the one he loved but...he didn’t feel fucking ashamed about it. And maybe one day, if it wasn’t too painful, he could stop longing for love lost...and find it within his heart to search for it again. 

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

The Beautiful & Damned (5/7)

Female Reader x Young!Remus Lupin | Female Reader x Young!Sirius Black

Chapter 5: Marauders to the Rescue

A/N: I love Sirius Orion Black so goddamn much. I just re-read what I wrote (adding stuff here and there) and that’s when the thought hit me. I want one in my life, why can’t I have one?... 

Jokes aside, I appreciate your likes and your asks to be in this story’s taglist so much! Thank you for indulging in my story and supporting my humble vision of what Marauders are like.  I hope you enjoy!

New to the series? - Accio Chapter 1: The Golden Couple - Accio Chapter 2: No, Definitely - Accio Chapter 3: Misread - Accio Chapter 4: Bravado Falls

Fear was bringing out the worst in him, Remus knew as much. How did he even secure a place in the Gryffindor house, for Godric’s sake? Where was that much-vaunted bravery he was supposed to be the poster boy for? 

The entire situation had clearly blown out of proportion. Because of how afraid he was to face pity and rejection, he was losing the people that cared for him, loved him despite of his furry little problem. He acted like a hormonal teenager (which he still kind of was, he tried to justify himself) and like a hands-down, the most disgusting twisted little git last night in the Common Room. This needed to stop, before he lost everything he had under the sun. 

Easier said than done: pacing back and forth in his favorite spot in the library, Remus was getting ready to show some serious Gryffindor balls and come clean before his friends, hoping that they’d take him back in spite of all the shit he’d done and said. 

Working up the courage to go talk to you, however, was another ballgame entirely, and he was still terrified he was going to strike out.

“You are going to tread a hole through those floors if you keep this up,” a poignant comment made Remus stop in his tracks. Looking up, he saw Sirius leaning against one of the bookshelves, hands crossed on his chest. 

“Sirius…” he started, not really knowing what to say. He needed more time. “I’m…”

“Sorry?” Padfoot cut in pitilessly, “I, too, am sorry, Moony, but I’m afraid that this kind of apology simply won’t cut it for me”. 

“Okay, chill out, Pads”, it’s only now that Remus noticed Prongs standing on the other side of the corridor in between the bookshelves. He approached Sirius and slung an arm over his. shoulder. Potter’s smile reassured Remus, giving him a much needed glimmer of hope that not all was lost. “Let’s get to the bottom of this crappy situation we have at hand, shall we?”

Peter, barely noticeable two minutes ago behind James’ broad frame, shook his head energetically. 

“I really miss you, Remus,” he added in a small voice. “We all do,” he gave Sirius a chastising look, but Padfoot chose to ignore it. 

Remus held their gazes for a moment, and finally spoke:

“I was an idiot,” he stated simply. “And I am very, very sorry”. 

Both James and Peter were already smiling at him; Sirius, however, wasn’t as quick to forgive and forget. 

“I want to know what exactly you are sorry for, Moony,” the latter claimed, his stubbornness unwavering. “To make sure that we are all on the same page”. 

Moony sighed, backing down and leaning on one of the wide window sills of the library hall. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been distancing myself from you and avoiding you,” instinctively, Remus crossed his hands on his chest, sort of mirroring Sirius’ pose. “I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you what was wrong instead of letting my shit get the best of me. I acted like a twat”, Remus admitted, looking his friends straight in the eyes. “Won’t happen again.”

“Sounds good to me,” James was impatient to be able to talk to one of his best friends again like always. Still smiling, Potter opened his arms to welcome Remus back.

“Not so fast,” Moony could swear Padfoot sounded so much like his brother Regulus right now. Or someone worse. “Is that all? Nothing you want to add?”

Remus looked at his friend questioningly, trying to spot some kind of a hint in his stare. Sirius all but rolled his eyes at the young werewolf. 

“Not to sound like a broken record, but come on, Moony, don’t play stupid,” Padfoot’s expression remained serious. “You’re smarter than that”. 

Remus bit the inside of his cheek - the habit he seemed to have picked up not so long ago. 

“Fine!” he let out in exasperated fashion, not breaking the eye contact with Sirius. “It’s true. I’ve learned to hate you, Sirius. I wanted to chop your head off this entire time and give it to blasted Pixies to kick around! I also wanted to feed you to a dragon, or hex you, an innumerable amount of times might I add, especially when…”

“Especially when you saw me with Y/N”, Padfoot finished for him before throwing his head back and laughing heartily. “Moony, I can’t believe how daft you’ve been this entire time. Real slow on the uptake.”

Remus gave him a confused look, truly not comprehending the meaning behind his words. 

“We don’t care that you’re a werewolf, I thought we made it clear when we learned the truth,” Sirius continued. James nodded at his words, followed by Peter. “We love you like a brother, and we will always be here to call you on your bullshit, which is exactly what we are doing right now. You need to put your insecurities behind you. Your furry side is what makes you - you, and we love you as you are. I just want to make one more thing clear,” he narrowed his thunderous eyes at the werewolf. “I’d better not see Y/N ever again in all sorts of states because of what you thought she did, and why you thought she did it. You are my brother and best friend, Moony, but Y/N is my best girl. I care about her, because she’s as much a part of the family I’m building for myself as you are. She is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and she deserves the world. So do you,” Sirius paused for a moment, as if thinking twice about what he was going to say next. “I’ll proper kick your ass if you fuck this up, Moony, I swear,” Padfoot clenched both of his hands into fists for a millisecond - enough time for the Marauders to notice. Sirius chomped down on his bottom lip, studying Moony scrupulously, hoping that the warning didn’t fall on deaf ears. 

Realization was slowly dawning on Remus. One emotion crept into his features after another, like objects on a slowly developing Polaroid picture. 

The fact that Padfoot loved you wasn’t what startled him - just like many other Hogwarts’ students, he heard the stories, exceedingly detailed, too. 90 percent of them were lies, of course, but Remus had seen the way Pads looked at you, the way he was with you. So no, he wasn’t at all astonished to learn that Sirius Black, Hogwarts’ most notorious bad boy and ladykiller and his best friend, held you very dear. 

What caught him completely off his balance, knocking the air out of his lungs, however, was the feeling that the fierceness with which Sirius loved you wasn’t quite reciprocal. When Remus looked at Sirius now he saw an aura of vulnerability, hiding behind the whole protective best friend facade. For what it was worth, Moony truly believed that Padfoot wanted more than forehead kisses, but you didn’t seem to oblige. 

Could it be?…

Sirius, with his vivid personality, all his swagger and all his bold handsomeness… You must have been insane not to want him back!…

This couldn’t be true. Magnificent wizards like Sirius and you were genetically programmed to meet, have beautiful babies and make the world a delightful place! He couldn’t dare to think otherwise, it was so obvious, common fucking sense!

Is it though? - small, smirking voice hemmed in his head. Remus forced himself to think back to the good old days, recalling your image in his mind. The way you’d smile at him as you’d always get out of your way to seat next to him and to steal his food. The way you’d always wonder if he was going to be at that particular Hogsmeade outing, this party, or that Quidditch game. The way you’d laugh at his stupid puns that weren’t even all that funny, brushing you delicate fingers through his messy mane of hair… The way you tried so hard to tell him something after you two kissed, begging for him to listen!

“Bloody boggart!”, Remus groaned, facepalming at himself. That’s right, he thought, Lupin, your whole circus of a life is a bloody facepalm sequence. “I really am a fucking coward!…I need to see her.”

Remus jumped up on his feet, a determined, wolfish kind of fire burning in his irises, licking his pupils. Two more seconds and he’d be out of the library, when James caught him by the wrist, grinning wide. 

“Wait up a sec, Moony,” he said, his bright eyes shimmering. “You know what happens now,” Potter’s smile slowly transformed into a smirk as he threw his head back and screamed at the top of his lungs: 

“Group hug!...”

“Yeah!” Peter exclaimed, crushing his tiny frame into Remus’ side so unexpectedly hard, he knocked all the air from his lungs. James chuckled before caging Remus in a bone-crushing embrace, making Moony groan in pain. Sirius was the last one to join the gathering, and being a huge pain the ass that he was, he made sure to squeeze as tight as he could. 

“Mr. Potter!…” Madame Pince appeared in the corridor like a cackling hen, her bonnet sliding on her eyes from running. “Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew!… Mr. Lupin!” a pang of honest-to-Merlin disappointment was ringing in her voice. “I feel like I need to remind you that this is a library, a sacred sanctum of knowledge and enlightenment! Silence and concentration are primordial as you enter these walls! Should you want to display public affection in such a brutish way, or any sort of boorish behaviour, I shall need to escort you four to the exit!”

“No need, Madame Pince”, Remus said politely, but impatiently. “We were about to leave anyway”, he added before exchanging a knowing glance with the Marauders and speeding out of the sacred sanctum as fast as his feet would take him. 

“Use protection!” was the last of boorish behaviour Remus had seen from James before shutting the door behind him with a deafening clutter.

“Mr. Potter!!!…”

To be continued...

My Beautiful Taglist (please, hit me up should you want to be tagged or untagged): @yuukiahim, @xapham, @spunkypatterns,  @jackie-houston, @justducky0423, @zakthedrak, @marauder–harder, @davros2004, @firefurr, @heyjess-marie, @kapolisradomthoughts

[ruiojousama]

Rockstar! Cor x Loqi AU

This has long been in our prompts. Collaborating with @moonraccoon-exe​ for this is one of the best things ever!

It took me quite a while to post this, but I hope you guys enjoy this extremely long (but fuilfilling) read and the illustrations! 

Headcanons:

First things first: Rockstar!Corqi. Aye.

Not so surprisingly, our Loqi is a self-proclaimed NUMBAH ONE FAN; but he is in hiding ‘cause of his family standing. Can’t really have his parents catch him being a rock/metalhead now, can he?

Loqi is, as usual, the son of a high-society family. His entire life revolves around high-society stuff (parties, school, friends, etc.). Hence why it would be ludicrous and scandalous if he was to come out as enjoying of such things like rock and metal bands (people in tight leather pants, piercings, tattoos, and crazy haircuts, sweating and screaming and singing and jumping on a stage with a bunch of noisy screeching smelly mentally ill teens that apparently hit each other as a hobby? EW, SOOOOO UNREFINED AND SAVAGE!).  

Guess Loqi enjoys that sort of music both just because he connects with it, and because usually rock & metal tend to be aggressive. So it’s sorta perfect for him to vent his own aggressiveness through it. 

Besides, he could NEVER talk about it to anyone; not only is that music unaccepted and seen as unrefined and savage among his family and social circles, it just so happens that his favorite artist is a Lucian. Loqi could NEVER IN LIFE talk about such a HORRIBLE thing! 

((Niflheim and Lucis aren’t at war, but there’s still that tension/arrogance from the high-class Nifs to look down on the Lucians))But despite the secrecy, he has like, 20 posters of him and his band. Photo albums and newspaper clippings.

Loqi has a secret /panic/ room where he hides everything. Sometimes sleeps in it, hugging a custom dakimakura (A/N: I’m laughing cos I remember Matt Mercer and his dakimakura in Critical Role  [Coon here: LMAO OMG RUI XD]).

Posters, photo albums, newspaper clippings, magazine covers, his Cor dakimakura (...I mean we can’t blame him), heck, Loqi probably has the goddamn action figurines. Or nitotans and custom plushies. 

Let’s talk about Cor. Rockstar Cor.

Cor in even more/more stylish black clothes. Cor….WITH EYELINER. 

  Cor sings. You wouldn’t believe it from him because he may come off as too serious, but Cor has ONE DAMN GOOD VOICE, especially for the rock/metal genre.  

Cor’s actually a good performer; as in, he doesn’t just have the voice, he does great on the stage too. Public never grows bored. 

Can we imagine a smirking singing Cor that’s sweaty from the 1.40 hours of concert and the spotlights, thank you. 

Cor is sexy. And he KNOWS THAT. 

Being a musician since like age 20, Cor has gone the ages being praised and adored by the public both as a musician and due to his looks. 25 years into the praise, you can tell someone’s raising some ego (A/N: You know, like Hyde or godsdamn Gackt).

Now the juicy part of this; the story.

Cor and his band are going to tour and they opened some dates in different Niflheim cities. 

Let me say that again in Loqi language.

COR AND HIS BAND ARE COMING HERE OHMFYGODAJW DNJDSJFN CORANDHISBANDARECOMINGINEEDTOGO OH GODS HELP ME IAMSOFUCKEDTHISISTHEBESTDAYOFMY/L I F E/

Loqi has luck he has that safe room, he has somewhere to scream without freaking his parents out.Loqi bought the tickets as soon as they were available.Loqi is seated on his chair, like both hands and feet on it like a damn gargoyle, intensely staring at the computer screen’s clock, so he can SMASH THAT REFRESH BUTTON as soon as midnight hits so he can be the very FIRST to get a ticket for the concert.HE. HAS. TO. GO. 

He KNOWS it’s going to be so hard because of his situation. His parents are strict and picky, they won’t let him out so easily, even less if he doesn’t have a good explanation, he’s keeping all this thing a secret, he just can’t say he goes to a concert, and besides, going out of the house is only the beginning; once out, he has to make it away of home without being seen by ANYONE (the only time when having security cameras AND guards AND dogs become a problem), and once away of home, he could be seen by ANYONE in the streets; his schoolmates are often out on friday and weekend nights clubbing, the concert is going to be in one of the clubbing areas, he could run into ANYONE, heck he could run into anyone that knows him DURING THE CONCERT ITSELF, and THEN he has to make it back home with the same secrecy. It’s giganormous quantities of problems.

….but HE HAS TO GO OR HIS NAME IS NOT GODDAMN LOQI FUCKING TUMMELT.

It’s a once in a lifetime chance, he can’t miss seeing his favorite artist/band live! Who knows when, or IF they will ever come back to Nif again!

Going to the concert actually proves much easier than expected.

His parents don’t check his room at night, and he locks it anyway; he goes out through a window, and maybe convinces a guard to help him out (“I’m not going to do anything bad, I’m just...going to...go see...see someone” because Loqi would VERY much rather his family think he’s dating someone than knowing he went to a rock concert [the guard was all winks and smiles like “Aaaaaaah, THAT stage of youth. I used to do this for your father too you know”   “EEEW, too much info! >:(“]) 

Loqi darling goes around in his most “peasant” clothing, which includes a hoodie, and wears a mouth mask to hide at least half his face.

And finally, without much trouble, Loqi arrives in the concert.

He was early so he could be as close to the front as possible.You should have seen him when the lights went off and the band came out; he went HYSTERICAL

Composed, high-class, serious and ice-cold Loqi, suddenly losing his shit, bouncing on his feet, and shrieking out, waving his concert lighters they hand out at the entrance.aSdsdlfjalksdsad jesus christ I’m loving this so much ahahahah (A/N: SAME COONIE SAME)

You should have seen his face when he saw Cor. *Eyes all gleamy and mouth a bit open like he was a believer seeing his god right in front of him. Full of absolute ADORATION and fan-to-idol love....Loqi may or MAY NOT have gotten a bit teary eyed DON’T JUDGE HIM.((Pls understand him, Loqi’s not very comfy at home due to all the restrictions and he’s been fan of this band for YEARS and he has literally NO ONE to talk to about them or the music, and it’s music that speaks straight to and about his most intimate feelings.))

 And now he’s right in front of them. Of course he would get a bit emotional after years of bottling frustration up <33

Loqi DOES have a little problem, though. 

He is. Too. SHORT.

He’s very close to the front, he was actually on the very first row, but most people, especially male, are much taller than him, so he was forced out and sent a few rows back. Even the people that don’t mean to take advantage of his size can be troubles, as they’re bumping into him, pushing, even crushing the poor thing. 

And don’t get me wrong, Loqi has (a bit too aggressively) pushed people too, and he’s in amazing physical conditions. It’s just the height, dammit.

You know, the  band are known for being super friendly with the fans, both on and off stage. On stage, they’re known for ALWAYS bringing multiple people on stage at different moments of the concert. 

Oh, so this is surely the “I’m going to bring someone on stage and, oh surprise, I just made eye contact with the story’s other protagonist, who I happen to find angelically BEAUTIFUL, so I’ll bring this person on stage and we just fell in love and I’ll kiss them” story, right?

WRONG. 

Loqi DOES come “on stage” of sorts….after ALMOST DYING.

There was a moment of the concert,  you know, everyone is so hyped and ecstatic and they’re having fun, so it just happens the crowd starts calling for a Death Wall (you know, crowd parts in two, and then both parts RUN TO EACH OTHER so they can crash and the HARDCORE SLAM BEGINS). There is a REASON it’s called the DEATH wall lmao

So dear Loqi and some other fans, mostly the younger ones, among Death Wall and slam, they end up a bit scared, injured, or like in Loqi’s case and more dangerously, falling down.Cor and his band may get a bit too much into the fun sometimes, but they’re good people and they care about their fans’ wellbeing above the fun or the fame or the music itself.

So of course Cor STOPS THE ENTIRE CONCERT.

BECAUSE SURE HE'S RIGHT NEXT TO HIS IDOL BUT IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN LIKE, LIKE, LIKE...LIKE   T  H  I  S

And he’s like “WOAH OKAY CHILL PEOPLE, CHILL, WAIT A MINUTE, SOME PEOPLE FELL AND IF YOU DON’T TAKE IT EASY YOU’LL END UP HURTING THEM, OKAY, BE CAREFUL” and while most people stop, there’s some idiots (because there’s ALWAYS some stupid idiots) that don’t, so Cor has security go check on the people that fell and/or are injured.

And THAT’S the story of how Loqi got to be on stage with his favorite band!For like 30 seconds. Unconscious. In the arms of some buffy security guy. That crossed the stage only to get this boy to backstage. Lmao. Loqi-ly, dear angry blond pup wasn’t injured, just knocked out. He wakes up backstage...AND HE JUST /FREAKS OUT/SO MUCH--

Loqi wakes up after the concert is over and the band has already come backstage to chill.So all that Loqi knows is that some stupid idiot elbowed him in the face, he was knocked out, and he’s waking up in this strange wide room he’s never seen before in his life and how did he get there anD COR FUCKING LEONIS IS SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-YOU CAN’T BLAME HIM FOR FREAKING OUT.

So Loqi’s natural reaction is to gasp and then yelp shortly, and shoot up on his feet and points at Cor and he screams “YOU’RE COR LEONIS!!!” because pointing out the obvious is apparently the natural reaction to seeing something obvious. 

So Cor finds it amusing and laughs and makes some comment about how “why yes I think I am” and about how he’s “always pleased to meet a fan.”And ooooh BOI, Loqi’s having NONE OF THAT.

Loqi for SOME REASON thinks it’s embarrassing and humiliating that someone else knows that he’s Cor’s fan, and it makes no sense because the one that knows is COR HIMSELF, but Loqi’s still this stubborn, difficult little shit and for SOME REASON he gets all worked up and isn’t happy to meet him, he’s just plain upset and tries to pretend this isn’t like the DREAM OF HIS LIFE.AND THEN HE TRIES SO HARD TO CONTAIN HIS FEELS HE BLURTS OUT RUDE THINGS TO COR

“Damn you look older up close—“

"Geez, chill, relax, you're safe now"

"SAFE? I WAS SAFE ON MY OWN, I WAS NOT- I DIDN'T EVEN- I'M NOT EVEN YOUR FAN"

"what"

"YOU HEARD ME, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO BE HERE." 

"then why were you here in the first-"

"WHAT DO YOU cARE OHMYGOD STOP HARASSING ME”

Maybe Cor also teases him and the little Loqi realizes how douchebag this idol of his is BUT HE CAN’T DO NO SHIT HE STILL LOVES HIM 

And Cor's like--whoa first time he encounters a fan who kinda hates him? (does that even make sense wtf).Like, he’s met haters and fans, but this is a fan that hates him and holy moogles is that even possible? How do you love someone by hating them how does it work Cor doesn’t understand. 

And he’s sorta puzzled you know. Because Loqi’s wearing a wristband of the band, he was at the concert very close to the front, and he recognized Cor immediately. So he IS a fan. But he behaves so unlike any other fan Cor has ever met in the past 25 years of career; he’s met people that scream and cry out of excitement, some that clap and smile, many that ask for photos, some that are very timid and don’t even talk at all, he’s met some that have even cried….but he’s NEVER ever before encountered a fan like this.

Loqi is calling him names, pointing out rude things or making up some comments just to be rude, he’s freaking out at the slightest comment or movement from Cor, BUT he also burns red in the face, BUT he’s also walking in circles yelling “WHERE IS THE GODDAMN DOOR I WANNA LEAVE NOW THANKS”. Loqi is the rarest and a very unique one-in-among-literally-everybody-else fan…...And hoh OH BOI LOQI, GOOD LUCK,  THE IMMORTAL JUST GOT VERY, VERY CURIOUS

And then after that concert the universe just fucks them up and the two had to meet in accident. A lot.

“Oh, it’s the midget from the concert—”

“SHUT UP YOU TALL DARK AND HANDSO---HANDS OFF MY POODLE--(cos yeah maybe loqi is walking his dog)

For some reason, Loqi attracts danger because for some reason we all creators apparently like to injure him a lot lmao

And for his luck, Cor joins to save the day! /o/ 

Like, I don’t know, some assault. And precious tsundere sunshine is shoved into an alleyway with the poodle (not the poodle!) while he was trying to get Cor off him, so that’s the two in troubles.Luckily, both manage to get rid of troubles, but Loqi takes a bad hit to the head that plain knocks him out.

And when he wakes up, Cor STUPID Leonis is sitting RIGHT THERE BESIDES HIM.IN HIS ROOM.

"Well. Good morning, Sleeping Beauty"

"..what"

"Took you quite a while. Don't worry, you didn't need stitches."

"...is this my room?"

"Well, yeah."

"How did you know where I- THAT IS HARASSMENT AND I COULD- SUE YOU  YOU PERVERTED- OLD MAN, HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE!?"

"Well, you were knocked out, and I checked your wallet for some info, your parents' number or something"

"YOU CALLED MY PA-"

"And I saw your address in your ID so. Sorry for...invading your privacy, it's just your house was closer than the hospital and it wasn't a bad hit so---"

"DO MY PARENTS KNOW YOU'RE HERE OHMYGOD"

"Well yeah someone had to open the door. Nice posters, by the way."

Because by the time Loqi notices, apparently while he was knocked out Cor found his panic room where he has ALL his Cor merchandise. All the Cor posters. The action figures. The CDs. E v e r y t h i n g.*insert Loqi screaming internally*

And Cor being the nice guy he offers to sign those unsigned posters of him

"...is that my face on that pillo-"

"nO!!!"

"well THAT'S definitely me on that pillow, where did you get that? You sleep with it?"

"NO I BEAT CRICKETS AND BEDBUGS WITH IT---OF COURSE IT'S A PILLOW WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA USE IT FOR--!"

"...so you want me to sign-? :)"

"yeh :'("

Loqi half-gives up. Cor found his panic room, there’s no way he can lie anymore to this stupid handsome jerk. So Loqi just sits on his bed hugged to a pillow, face buried in it, while Cor comes in and out of the panic room bringing the most interesting merchandise he finds. Laughing. Asking over and over if he “signs this”, “this one too?”, “maybe this one, this one is cute.” 

Lmao, Loqi’s parents, though.Because Cor has to leave at some point, he has to walk out the main door, and for that he has to come out of Loqi’s room, so it’s just unavoidable, the Tummelts meeting Cor.

“You have a nice house, thanks for receiving me.”

“Yeah...uh...thanks for taking our son home…”

“Fine, fine, keep going, Leonis.”

“So, you is this man your friend, Loqi?”

“N-NO! OF COURSE NOT, NO!”

“...so do you know him?”

“NO! I MEAN- yeah, but, not like know-know him, he’s- no! Let’s just leave, dammit.”

“...would you like to stay for dinner?”

“HE WOULDN’T.”

“I’d love to! :D”

It’s not that Loqi’s parents like him. It’s that they’re trying to figure who this man is and if they should call the police.He looks like a Lucian. What is their pureblood, noble, high society, beautiful Nif son doing hanging with...this...black leather-dressed, eyeliner “hobo” of a Lucian.((Hey, hey, Tummelt mama and papa, those clothes are rockstar, ROCKSTAR, not “hobo” >:( ))How does the romance start, though, huh. HUH. IDEAS. LET’S MAKE AN IDEA RAIN.

But in the end, even Cor charms both Loqi’s parents with his wit. 

And Loqi, regardless of all the embarrassment, is blushing, happy and giddy. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!