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ferigrieving · 3 months

Text

born a weapon.

⊹ ࣪ i know there’s better brothers / but you’re the only one thats mine.

a.n the todoroki brothers fic i wish i had. godblesss touya eldest sister syndrome todoroki

⤷ masterlist ; requests open ; i. goodnight moon (here) ; ii. count to three ; 2.8k words

the apartment whispers of age and neglect, walls tinged with stories untold. in the dim light, shadows dance, as the night pulls a cloak over the day. the sky bleeds in hues of blues and purples, the symphony of the city life dying down as the hours passed.

shoto often had a hard time sleeping at night, opting instead to stare wide eyed at the ceiling before sleep would take him. at five years old, he knew he wasn't afraid of monsters under the bed, or creatures that lived in his closet. he of course, could not comprehend this idea, but found that it was having to be all by himself that scared him the most.

“...nii-san?”

he called out, his voice a small, scared whisper that carried through the old apartment. you and touya had left him alone in your bedroom, having other matters to attend to, all tucked in with a stuffed cougar you had gifted his older brother when you were younger.

touya sighed, running a hand through his newly dyed hair, the pitch black strands catching in the light of the moon. he exchanged a look with you, in the middle of cleaning the kitchen, and sighed. he had hoped for a quiet night, but shoto needed you two, and what kind of brother would deny him such simple things?

you opened the door quietly, flinching at the creeeaaak of the door hinges. you’d have to ask touya to buy some WD-40 when he went out again. the little boy sat up, eyes wide, as he clutched the worn-out cougar. the remnants of tears sparkled on his cheek, and you felt a pang in your chest. you hadn't even heard him cry.

“couldn't sleep, huh sho’?” touya hummed, voice soften than usual. he sat on the edge of the bed, running his hand through his little brother’s hair. it was getting long, and you wondered if shoto would let you cut it. clambering onto the mattress beside him, you laid in some sort of curved position on your side, propping up your head in your hand. “how ‘bout a story, lil’ man?”

his face lit up, nodding slightly as if he had never been offered such a luxury. you fumbled around for one of the story books you had kept from all those years ago, fingers ghosting over a run-down copy of goodnight moon.

“once upon a time.”

shoto listened with wide eyes, blue and gray wide and glittering with unshed tears. his stuffed cougar was held close, a thumb in his mouth and hair messy. touya had settled against the headboard at this point, arms looped around one of his pale knees. you could tell out of the corner of his eye that he was trying not to care, but the way his eyes began to droop told you otherwise.

you turn the page, letting the words fall from your lips in practiced rhythms. you had read this book to shoto and touya innumerable times, sometimes all snuggled together like this. most times it ended with all three of you piled into your bed, shoto passed out between the two of you.

as you continued, shoto shifted, crawling out from under the covers. he moved to crawl onto your lap, resting the side of his head against your thighs.

he continued to suck on his thumb as you two read him the story, the sound of crickets and cars faintly heard through the open window. touya looked almost bored, one long leg kicked out in front of him, but his eyes were soft as they watched his little brother.

when you finished, shoto made a soft noise as protest, the hand clutching his cougar falling away from his face. his thumb was shiny with spit, but neither you nor touya were going to make a comment.

“again.” he mumbled, tugging at the end of your shirt. his voice was slurred, as if he was fighting sleep on three fronts.

“...again?”

he nodded, his expression solemn. “one more time.”

touya huffed a soft laugh, resting his temple against the heel of his hand. “ya want them to tire their voice out, ya little monster?”

shoto’s shoulders visibly slumped, but his bottom lip pushed into a pout. “but nii-san,” he whined, glancing over at touya. “just ‘nother story.”

“yeah, nii-san.” with a shit eating grin, you reached over to hand touya the book, careful not to disrupt shoto as he lay on you. “just another story.”

touya’s eyes widened slightly, before he rolled them as he sat up. taking the book from you, he settled back against the headboard, and sighed. “you’re the worst.”

he accepted the worn-down storybook, shifting forward so his stomach rested on his legs. he began flipping through the pages, the spine creaking softly.

shoto beamed, his hand reaching up to grab a strand of his brother’s hair. he tugged on it softly, giggling when touya pretended to bite at him.

“yeah alright,” he huffed, cracking the book open as he began to read. shoto instantly brightened, scooting over so he could lean against his older brother. touya’s voice always sounded slightly raspy, his words slow and drawled, and he definitely wasn’t as good as reading stories as you were.

after the accident, touya’s voice was shot, in every shape and form. it reminded you of a chain-smoker, raspy and rough. he didn't speak for nearly half the year, and you had to resort to writing him notes on your phone as a some sort of communication. in the time, you learned how to pick up all the little mannerisms and non-verbal cues that he showed, whether he was aware of it or not.

by the time he had finished reading the story again, shoto was fast asleep, the little boy drooling against the side of your leg, his stuffed cougar held tight to his chest.

touya closed the book, placing it down on the windowsill before shifting, moving into a more comfortable position. you didn't have enough money to fully furnish the apartment, opting instead to buy only the essentials. even if that meant sleeping on a shitty mattress on the floor.

“he has you wrapped around his little finger,” your murmured softly, running a hand through shoto’s messy hair.

touya rolled his eyes, though the gesture lacked any sort of malice. a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as his gaze softened, looking at his sleeping little brother with quiet fondness.

“so do you,” he pointed out, nudging your leg with his foot. his expression was nonchalant, but his tone held something affectionate underneath.

“but you’re biased and whipped,” you deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. a smirk tugged at his lips, showing fang-like canine teeth. your laugh was soft, quiet to avoid waking the sleeping boy. “what happened to the big bad touya i used to know?”

touya shrugged, resting his head back against the wall. he rolled his shoulders, the old band shirt clinging to his torso.

“i guess i just got real soft, huh?” he chuckled, resting a hand over his stomach. his eyes flicked down to his sleeping brother, a complicated mix of emotions flashing across his face.

shoto looked so peaceful like this, features slack and hands curled into loose fists. a messy strand of red hair fell over his forehead, and you reached out to move it aside. he reminded you of touya when he was little. you remember watching his hair turn from red, to half, to fully white. and now, black.

touya had always struggled with change, but it became worse as he grew older. he wasn’t the happy-go-lucky little kid he used to be, but that wasn’t inherently a bad thing. there was a quiet maturity that came with everything he had been through, but sometimes you missed the silly kid that ran around with a too-big smile.

the sight always made you a little sad, seeing the reminder of the years that had passed. both touya and shoto were so different now, and yet still so alike in a way.

“he looks like you, when you were little,” you whispered, voice soft in the silence of the night. shoto snored softly against your leg, chest rising and falling in a slow pattern.

touya hummed, tilting his head to look at you. the light of the moon caught the bridge piercing he’d gotten a couple weeks ago, and you thought, once again, on how grown up he’s become.

“i guess he does, huh?” he murmured.

he looked down at his little brother, the lines around his eyes softening, the usual scowl smoothing over into an expression you hadn’t seen in ages. “just the hair though. personality wise, he’s like you. quiet, kinda stubborn.”

you could practically see his memories playing behind his eyes, expression distant as they flicked from shoto to you. he looked almost lost in thought, and you wondered what exactly he was remembering. the fan hanging above you was slowly creaking around as it spun, in dire need of lubrication.

shoto shifted in his sleep, rolling over to press his face into your stomach. both you and touya cringed in unison, silently thankful that he didn’t drool on your shirt.

“come here,” you whispered, shifting into a reclining position with shoto practically draped over your lap. touya raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told, leaning against your shoulder with his arms crossed.

he felt warm against your side, the weight of his head reassuring. a comfortable silence blanketed the room, the only sounds being shoto’s soft snores and cars speeding along the roads outside.

touya’s hair tickled your neck, the strands soft on your skin. he didn’t say anything, but you could almost hear the cogs turning behind his eyes.

you felt his breath ghost along your jawline.

“...this isn’t so bad, huh?” he mumbled, his low voice making your skin tingle.

“mm. how’d we get so lucky?”

“ya know,” touya said suddenly, breaking the silence. his voice was low, as to not disturb the sleeping boy resting against you. his eyes were half closed, gaze fixed on the small bed across from the two of you.

he didn’t say anything else, just sitting in the silence and staring at the empty sheets. after a few moments, you turned to look at him, tilting your head. “know what?”

touya hummed, bringing a hand up to his face. he rubbed tiredly at his eyes, the dark circles beneath them prominent in the light of the moon.

“nothing. ‘s stupid.” he murmured, leaning a bit more into your side. the weight was welcome, and you moved to wrap an arm around his thin shoulders.

“touya.”

touya huffed a chuckle, a smile playing on his lips. the sound was quiet, but seemed to echo in the semi-darkness.

he leaned into your touch, allowing you to pull him closer. “it’s nothing, it’s just—“

he stopped mid-sentence, words catching in his throat. his chest heaved as he sighed, fingers curling tight around the hem of his shirt.

“im so lucky to be alive.”

you smiled weakly as his chin found it’s way to your shoulder, his breath fanning across your collarbone.

touya was rarely emotional these days, closed off and reserved in a way that he never had been before. so listening to him express himself, even for a moment, was like holding glass in your palms.

he huffed softly, eyes fixed on the ceiling before he spoke again. “i’m glad i’m still here with you.”

he was so vulnerable like this, tired and slumped against your side. he felt impossibly thin, all sharp angles and boney limbs.

“i don’t even know why…” he trailed off, and you felt a pang in your chest as he swallowed. “how the hell did i get so lucky, huh?”

“–nii-san?” shoto mumbled, and both you and touya sat up at the sound of his voice. had he been awake this whole time?

you looked down, and you were thankful for the half-asleep look on his face, eyes drooping and hair messier than ever. he looked adorably tired, clinging to the stuffed cougar with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other.

“what’s wrong, ya’ little monster?” touya grinned, taking shoto’s small, small hands in his.

“sleepy,” shoto slurred, rubbing at one of his eyes again. his other hand reached for touya, grasping at the air almost in a silent plea. touya chuckled, leaning forward to gather his little brother into his arms.

he settled shoto against his chest, the little boy curling up like a cat with his face tucked into the crook of touya’s neck.

shoto was practically limp in touya’s hold, face pressed into his brother’s shoulder and hands curled tight around the front of his shirt. he let out a soft sigh, his body going lax in touya’s arms. he breathed in, nose pressing against his brother’s collarbone, before making a quiet whine.

touya rocked him slightly, a hand rubbing the small of shoto’s back. “c’mon, little man. go back to sleep.” he muttered, voice uncharacteristically gentle.

shoto mumbled something, so quiet that neither you nor touya could make it out, before falling silent. touya ran his fingers through the dual-toned locks of shoto’s hair, letting out a soft sigh.

he tilted his head, looking up at you from under the shadow of his eyelashes. he mouthed ‘help?’ looking equal parts amused and exhausted.

you shook your head, mouthing a ‘it’s your turn, nii-san’ back before crawling off the bed and tip-toeing out of the room to the kitchen, a shit eating grin on your face.

touya’s eyes widened as you got up, an offended expression on his face. he tried to protest, opening his mouth to say something, but quickly shut his mouth when shoto whimpered in his lap.

he turned to shoot a glare your way, mouthing ‘i hate you’ with as much venom as he could muster.

‘i love you too.’

touya huffed, flipping you off before turning back to focus on his sleepy little brother. shoto had shifted so that his head was resting against touya’s shoulder, face almost hidden in the fabric of his shirt.

touya’s expression softened, hand returning to shoto’s messy locks. he looked almost fond as he stroked the kid’s hair, a silent sigh escaping him.

he laid back against the wall, one of his hands holding shoto’s lax form against his chest. the kid’s breaths were slow and even, and touya could feel the rise and fall of his little brother’s chest with every breath.

you had left the room, and touya was left alone with his thoughts. he glanced down at shoto, who slept peacefully in his arms, before turning his gaze out of the window.

the lights of the city glittered far below, shining like stars against an inky black canvas. touya thought, sometimes, about how easy it’d be to jump, to finally take action and end his miserable existence.

but as he rocked shoto in his arms, he knew that he couldn’t do that. he couldn’t leave his little brother, not now, not ever. shoto needed him. he needed him in a way his father could never be there for him.

so he sat back, forcing the thoughts from his mind and focusing instead on the weight of his little brother in his lap. with shoto tucked safely in his arms, touya allowed himself to close his eyes.

he didn’t sleep, too afraid that he would have the same nightmares he’d had since he was sixteen, since he was ten, since he was four. he was content to rest here in the silence and just hold shoto.

so touya sat in the quiet, the sound of city life far below filling his ears. he listened as shoto’s breathing grew slow and steady, as the clock on the wall ticked, as the cars whirred by outside.

he closed his eyes, resting his chin on top of shoto’s messy hair, and thought about how much his little brother had grown.

he felt almost protective as he sat there, mind fuzzy and tired. he’d do anything to keep shoto safe, to make sure that the kid never had to deal with the sort of messed up life that he had.

touya exhaled, the breath soft against his brother’s skin. a strange sort of warmth filled his chest, and the faintest smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

four years ago, shoto was a tiny thing, just barely out of infancy. he could hardly hold his own head up alone, and was a mess of tears and baby clothes and sticky fingers.

now he was a little boy, with messy hair and a bright smile, the soft beginnings of a personality beginning to show. he was loud and playful and stubborn, but affectionate and kind and loving.

touya was so proud of him.

#⊹ ࣪ ˖ greywrites #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #my hero academia #mha x reader #dabi #dabi todoroki #dabi todoroki x reader #dabi mha #bnha dabi #mha dabi #mha touya #dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #touya x reader #dabi x you

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