#god. i have GOT to stop fucking drunk posting on tumblr

[joyridingmp3]

spent the last 24 years feeling like everybody who was supposed to love me (my family) only Barely tolerated me. it's so liberating knowing that i'm out of here in a few days. so i can just exist and be myself and do what i want. i have no fear of irritating them because come monday they won't have to put up with me any longer. i don't live in constant fear of being annoying anymore. i can just do what makes me happy. freedom!

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

masterlist and important info

here we are, folks. 💕

hyunjins-orange-slice 2.0! i was forced to make a new blog, so i will be reposting all of my works from the original hyunjins-orange-slice here. and some new things im working on!

🚨THIS IS AN 18+ ONLY BLOG🚨

ageless and blank blogs will be blocked, no questions asked. (if you have fixed the issue, or feel you have been blocked unfairly, send a DM to @secret-orange-slice )

everything posted here is fiction and in no way represents stray kids in reality

my requests are open- the only rules i have are: i only write for skz, no noncon and no pregnancy, and nothing illegal. i reserve the right to deny any request for any reason. if i don’t answer your request, it means im not comfortable with it or i just haven’t got to it yet. feel free to send me a message for clarification. :)

im not on a posting schedule, i just post when it feels right.

please be kind and respectful. 💕

Regally Smitten Masterlist

FLUFF

chan:

domestic drabble

thank you (another domestic drabble)

am i even your bias? (3racha drabble)

his princess (my first ever tumblr post)

confessions (fake text)

random texts with bf chan

asking bf chan if he would save you from zombies (texts, request)

when a song makes him think of you (texts)

reacting to jjam mv (texts)

random texts with daddy chan (ddlg, princess)

random comfort text

'connected' (chan series)

chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five

chapter six

chapter seven

changbin

when changbin misses you (texts)

jeongin

fake texts noona request

minho

the color? he’s lame (texts, minho confession, request)

seungmin

random texts with bf seungmin

felix

random texts with bf felix

ot8

do you still love me? (text)

more jeongin and seungmin texts

ANGST

minho drabble (idk if this is “angst” it’s just sad) hyunjin drunk argument hyunjin drunk argument part2

i’m not your fucking dad (fake texts, chan breakup)

toxic chan being jealous (texts)

jisung when he’s distant because of work (texts, happy ending, request)

stop banging on the door (chan, texts)

chan confesses after you get caught with changbin (texts)

han confesses after catching you with minho (texts, request)

jeongin confesses and hyunjin confesses (texts, request)

stop hanging out with my family (hyung line, texts, request)

baby you’re a blessing (texts, jeongin angst)

jealous skz when someone pays for your food (texts, request)

jealous skz from above part 2 (texts)

jealous changbin texts (request)

HURT/COMFORT

chan

untitled

i can’t stand to see you cry

nightmare

texts when you’re anxious about a date

texts bsf chan (who may be in love with you) when your boyfriend isnt being a good boyfriend

what daddy chan says to comfort you

when you cancel plans because you’re feeling insecure (texts)

when your period is close (texts)

han

if you’re feeling it, then it’s valid (texts, request)

hyunjin

here’s the plan (period request)

untitled (eating disorder comfort)

felix

my wittle pookie wookie bear

changbin

texts when you injure yourself at the gym (request)

changbin confesses after you’re stood up (texts, request)

seungmin

texts bsf seungmin when you have a bad breakup

when you tell him you have anxiety

SMUT 18+

chan

his good girl, always (my favorite piece i’ve done) safe word (hard dom chan)

sleepy morning drabble

kissing (short oral drabble)

untitled (oral backstage at music core)

reacting to his insta (fake text)

untitled (soft dom chan, somnophilia)

i said, sit (daddy chan, face riding)

karma in the shape of a god

all the things chan would whisper in your ear

kneeling on the floor (chan version)

adrenaline rush (lolla chicago suggestive drabble)

so is it true? (texts)

reacting to dominATE seoul photos (texts, daddy chan)

is this what you had in mind, baby? (daddy chan)

i’ll help you through it, yeah? (virgin reader, request)

minho

untitled (dom minho, bondage, etc)

i like your panties

i like your cock (i like your panties part 2)

hyunjin

Daddy, let me help

Daddy, let me help part 2

sleepy morning drabble

untitled (soft dom hyunjin punishment)

is the door even locked? (soft dom daddy hyunjin, public sex)

han

wash it first (phone sex)

kneeling on the floor (han version)

ot8

skz catching you reading fan fiction

skz when you say ily in bed

when you’re too shy to send a spicy picture (texts- hyung line)

when you’re too shy to send a spicy picture (texts- maknae line)

skz when you text “you can come now, they’re gone.”

the one where chan teaches minho to share

if you like that, what if i did this? (minsung x reader)

calling them by their name request (texts)

best friend skz catching you masturbating (texts hyung line)

best friend skz catching you masturbating (texts maknae line)

flirting with bsf skz (texts, request) hyung line

flirting with bsf skz (texts, maknae line)

fuck the sadness out of me (3racha, texts, request)

well it worked (fuck the sadness out of me, 3racha, written part 2)

now you don’t have to choose (texts, jeongin and seungmin)

skz helping you shave (texts)

daddy!chan helping you shave

[blindfaithmate]

All the Drarry fics I have read and liked - Part 1

This is in no particular order; honestly, this list has no organisational method. I am only noting down the fanfics I've read and liked.

Grounds for Divorce by Tepre - Do I even need to say anything about fic? amazing fic. The emotions, the writing, the scenes. The angry Harry and the demure Draco. Ah! Love it.

Casting in the Dark by Flowerfan- Very cute post-war 8th-year Hogwarts story. Found it on Tumblr. The first time Draco, you know, experiences that with Harry, he doesn't even notice because Harry is that oblivious and apparently drunk. It's a cute read. (Another story - To the Beat of You - Harry has a secret and because of that does not stay the night at Draco's (his boyfriend's) place. Not a heartbreaking secret. Cute secret.)

Scenes of Surrender by Rasborealis - this story made me wonder if ever I will be able to give in to something or someone completely, just as Draco did in this story. A quick summary is that Draco is quiet and keeps his head down after the war. Harry cares that he is quiet and isn't speaking much. A mute Draco is common in 8th-year stories and this one is also nice. Anyway, Harry can't leave him alone (lol) and yeah. The way the author has written down scenes where Draco is surrendering is a piece of art.

Round Trip for One by Rasborealis - They are roommates and Harry is oblivious that he loves Draco. His innocent tries to get Draco to date better leads to fights and a very cute union. Would read again if I ever had a bad day and wanted to feel better!

9 times Harry kissed Draco and the 1 time Draco kissed Harry by aw_godusopp_no - Harry doesn't like that Draco uses swear words. He has a fun way to make him stop. Draco catches on, more like, Harry told him what he is doing and the one time, Draco actually does it on purpose to get Harry to kiss him. I love these 2 goofballs.

Say It with Flowers by SasuNarufan13 - Draco uses pureblood customs to court Harry. Harry is, like always, oblivious. (I love oblivious Harry). I couldn't complete it because got too sweet for me. But I still liked it a lot. Would read parts of it again.

knickers in a twist by technicolourbeat - I have already read it thrice. Draco wears skirts. Harry gets randy. Randy, randy, randyyyy boys. Love thissss!

The Standard You Walk Past by bafflinghaze - Harry has a sleepwalking problem and Draco just wants to repay his life debt. The author has a few other Drarry fics as well that are a good read.

Now I Wake Up In The Night and Watch You Breathe by hoko_onchi - Oh, it has unhinged Harry. Super unhinged but I still love it. Harry gets Draco because he wants Draco. Stalks him, manipulates him in a way? Read the tags, definitely. But if you love toxic love, this is for youuuuu! (This gives a lot of 'You' vibes - that Penn Badgley show)

Fantastic Flip Fuck with Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy! by hoko_onchi - Oh god, can't ever forget this fic. Such lovely, lovely written smut scenes. Both are p0r*stars and come together on screen. I said that and the author really meant it. Please read it. You won't regret it.

I will be back with another list.

Please read the tags before starting a story. all my love to the authors. Really grateful to them.

Keep writing, reading, and loving Drarry 🩶 💚

[allaboutnayeli]

stupid lil headcanons about mapi

author notes: i'm pushing out more of these dumb posts than fics but i swear fics are coming 🙏🏾 just let my mind work it's magic y'all. anyways stupid headcanons about mapi that hold no value, enjoy!

➜ mapi probably asks ingrid to talk to the waitress when she receives the wrong order. it's not really that she's scared to say something, it's just mapi doesn't want to say anything herself

➜ she probably sends ingrid stupid memes in spanish about the most irrelevant things that ingrid is always like "wtf? where did you get these from?" (she got them from twitter)

➜ doesn't care for tiktok that much but sometimes someone sends her an edit off of that app and she giggles

➜ this woman be low-key confused when the barca coach talks about the team's game plan. afterwards she always asks alexia to explain to her in simple terms

➜ we all know she had that emo phase. during that phase she still listened to a lot of spanish music (she couldn't get with the actual emo music) and used tumblr like it was god sent

➜ mapi be giggling and kicking her legs while stalking ingrid's instagram during international break. she has like a thousand photos of ingrid in her gallery, but the instagram posts just hit different

➜ double texts everything. never writes in paragraphs and she probably have many typos in her texts because she be typing at the speed of light

➜ mapi's favorite type of kisses are cheek kisses because she finds them really cute

➜ if the word clingy had a picture in the dictionary, mapi would be the photo. this woman is attached to ingrid so bad and just likes hanging off of her. half of the time she just annoys ingrid but refuses to move away when her when ingrid tells her off

➜ clumsy at the worse moments. could be holding a plate full of food and mapi is going to slip on thin air

➜ likes piggy back rides especially from ingrid

➜ mapi is the biggest cryer when it comes to movies. it could be the happiest movie ever but let one sad thing happen and she's bawling

➜ begs ingrid to do her hair in silly lil hairstyles and always talks cute selfies after

➜ a cuddle bug. not just with ingrid but also her cat

➜ mapi shall not be trusted with knives or any sharp objects, she always end up cutting herself. ingrid has to comfort her afterwards

➜ is so annoying to play against in a fifa game. she will do anything in her power to make you lose (pushing, saying the most out of pocket stuff, screaming at the top of her lungs, anything to her opponent to lose the game)

➜ dyes her hair when stressed (but don't tell anybody that)

➜ either a fun drunk or a sad drunk. depends on the day and if ingrid is around

➜ she randomly flexes in front of ingrid to try to impress her (ingrid doesn't give a fuck but gives many compliments)

➜ speaking of impressing ingrid, this woman will stop a car with her bare hands just to have ingrid give her a compliment. what can be said? #girlfriendvalidationisthebest

➜ 100% is a pouter, a whiner, a "but babeee:("

➜ the type to get a tattoo for her girlfriend and not even tell anyone until someone just notices

➜ mapi is surprisedly flexible, don't ask how she figured that out

➜ follows ingrid around like a lost puppy. she just loves her girl so bad

➜ her favorite season is summer and her favorite thing to do during summer is to go to the beach. for one, she loves to be in the water and for two, she gets to see ingrid in a bikini. a win is a win

➜ says the most random shit that pops up in her mind like "do you think dinosaurs are related to chickens? and if they are related to chickens then when someone eats chicken, are they eating dinosaur meat?" and ingrid would just be like "please just eat your food"

➜ not the best dancer in the world but no body can tell her that

➜ mapi sometimes just gets baby fever and pesters ingrid before forgetting about it then she sees a baby & the process happens all over again

➜ overall mapi is just so silly 😝

© thinkingaboutjaedyn

[chocos-universe]

SQUEALLLLL!! Thank you so MUCH @rand0m-s1nner!! You're super sweet as well!! Thank you so much for letting me do this!! The inspiration from this fic goes to this TALENTED person⬆. Again, thank you so much!! Have a wonderful AM or PM!!<3

Two Wishes

___________________________________________

--Peri somehow crossed over to the real world! I wonder how that happened...--

___________________________________________

|Lee - Peri -- Ler - Alex (My preferred name:> On online at least lol)

___________________________________________

AU - Crossover

___________________________________________

Alex groaned, shutting her door and slipping her backpack off her shoulders and onto the ground. She flopped on the couch bed under her actual bed and lied there before turning over on her back. 'At least it's Friday so I don't have homework.' She thought to herself, pulling her phone out of her pocket and unlocking it, going on Tumblr. 'Nothin' new in my notifications.' She thought with a sigh, scrolling through the 'For You' section. She got a message from her mom as she clicked on it and read it.

"Hi toots! Me and <Step Father Name> are going shopping! Anything you want from the store??"

Alex just responded with a 'No, be safe' and left the other texts on read. She kept scrolling through images, stopping to read some things before scrolling again. The eventually stopped on a 'Fairly OddParents' post. She stared at it for a few moments before scrolling past some others. "I wish I had a god parent. Too bad that shit is fictional..." She sighed and turned off her phone, placing it beside her as she reached for her PS5 controller. Then, she saw a purple spark in the corner of her eye. She turned her head around to see nothing put her heater in the middle in the room, along with some other things. 'I'm seeing things again...' she thought with a shrug. Even if the thought was unusual, since who sees something PURPLE in the corner of their eye?? That's just weird. She went back to reaching for the controller until, again, she saw that spark again. She whipped her head back to that spot and saw, yet again, nothing! "Those ghost stories are gettin' to me..." She muttered under her breath but decided to look longer at the spot this time. She swore, with her own two eyes, she saw a spark. "The fuck??" Alex asked out loud, grabbing a full water bottle. Then, a purple smoke appeared, making her eyes widen and scoot into a wall, just staring in disbelief and somewhat horror. the smoke eventually disappeared with a poof as a floating purple human lookin' thing was in the middle of her room. Was she drunk??

"Well, hey there kid--" The grape started off but was CUT off by a scream and a water bottle being thrown at his face "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Alex shouted, grabbing another water bottle. "Woah--! Hey hey HEY!!-- Calm down!" The winged person put his hands up in defense. "I've officially gone crazy..." Alex muttered, looking at the ground as she held the water bottle up, the creature chuckling awkwardly. "Let's just... calm down... start from the beginning, okay?" He asked in a calm town, trying to soothe the frightened child. "Fucking hell... f-fine...' She continued to hold the water bottle up. "Okay! My name is Poof! Or... well it was. Changed it to Peri! Kind of like Periwinkle!" Peri introduced himself with a smile. "Peri...? As in.... OHHH you're HIM! You fuckin' terrified me, dude! And uh, Im Alex." Alex calmed down, putting the water bottle down, making Peri chuckle with mixed feelings. "Nice to meet ya, Alex and... uh... language... please? And... you know me?" Peri asked, fidgeting with his fingers. "Sorry, working on controlling my mouth. And yeah! You're from a show! But... how are you... here? Fairies and God Parents don't exist here." Alex explained, doing weird hand movements as Peri's eyes widened a bit. "They... don't?" "Yeah! So... how are *you* here?? You're supposed to be fictional!" Peri just shrugged. "I don't know... but, since I'm here I *guess* I'll grant you two wishes! One being whatever you desire and the other to send me home! How does that sound?" Peri smiled, putting his hands behind his back. "Uh... sounds fair. Okay... uh... one wish... hmm..." Alex hummed, thinking for a moment before an idea popped in her head. She stayed silent for a few more moments before blushing lightly at the idea. "Uh... Okay." Alex crawled over to the edge of her couch bed, signaling Peri to come closer. Peri shrugged and floated down to her level. She pulled him a little closer, whispering in his ear. After a moment, he blushed FURIOUSLY and pulled back after she was done. "You-- You wanna what??" Peri stuttered with a shocked face. "Please? This'll basically be a dream come true! ...Quite literally." She mumbled that last part before giving Peri pleading eyes. "Please? You said anything:(" "I... I did say that, didn't I...? You're one weird kid..." Peri sighed "Fine..." He agreed as Alex beamed. She signaled him to come closer as he sat on her lap. (Not self shipping this is STRICTLY platonic--) She giggled happily "Ready?" She asked as Peri nodded

"EEP-- Ehehe hehehey! Waaaahahait!" Peri giggled as Alex tickled his belly softly. "Aww! Your laugh is even more adorable in reality! Ehe!" "Dohohohohon't sahahahay thahahat!" Peri squealed and kicked his legs slightly. Alex just beamed with happiness. 'Finally! I get to do this!' She thought as her hand wandered to Peri's sides. "Tick-le Tick-le Tick-le purplee!~" Alex teased, gently and lightly squeezing his sides. Peri hiccuped and covered his blushy face. "Aaaaahahahaha! Nooohohohohohohoo! You're so mehehehehehean!" Peri giggled, not even trying to stop her since it'd be pointless and stupid. "Me? Mean? Peri, I'm offended! Can't a kid have fun once in a while?" Alex huffed in fake annoyance, poking his belly button. "Naha! Wahahait!-- AhahahahahaAHLehehehehex!! Stahaha-- eeeehehehehehe!!" "Oh you're so PRECIOUS!! Eeee, look at your smile!!" "Nohohoho-- you cahahahahan't see ihihihihhit! Ah! Nohohohot my rihihibs! Naahaho!" Peri kicked his feet a bit more, giggling about, turning into an even more blushy mess. "Heh, I can't help it! You're just so cute!" "Nohohohot cuhuhute!!" Peri protested in a giggle fit. "...Nope. That's it." Alex huffed and tickled behind Peri's ears. "WAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIT!! NOHOHOHOHO! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!! NOT THERE!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOT THEREEEHEHEHEERRR! *hic* Peri's shoulders scrunched up, squirming on her lap. "Nah, you asked for this. Saying you ain't cute, who is you lying to cause it ain't me!" "AHAHAHAAALLLEX!! *snort*" Alex gasped in delight. "Oh. M. Goodness. You can SNORT?! Oh, you adorable munchkin, ahh!!" Peri's face got brighter. "NOHOHOHOHOHO!! STAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!" "Two more spots??" "NAHA--" Alex giggled, knowing that was a no. But continued. She gently took one of Peri's hands and nuzzled his palm. Peri s c r e a m e d. "NAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *hic* NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! ALEX, PLEASE!! *hic* PLEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!! WHYYYHIHIHI WOULD YOU WISH FOR THIIIIHIHIHIHIHIS YOU JEHEHEHEHEHEHERK!! *snort*" "Okay, two more spots were a lie... how about THIS time, two more spots?" Alrx teased, tracing Peri's hand lines. "AHAHAHAHAHAL--" Peri squealed, tears pricking in the corner of his eyes. "Fine, one more." She chuckled and let go of his hand, tickling his inner thighs this time. "WAAAAAAA-- NAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAL-- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Some tears fell down his face as he laughed, squirming about. "Okay, okay! I'm done!" Alex said with a giggle and stopped

"Woah.... wooohohooo... ehevil... evil child!" Peri giggled breathlessly. Alex chuckled and hugged him. "Okay... woo... I'm okay now... ahh..." Peri chuckled with a breath as he levitated next to her. "My time to leave, I believe..." Peri said with a small smile. "Damn... nice meeting you, though!" Alex said with a smile. "Alright, ya know what to do." Alex nodded in response. "I wish for you to go home, my dear grape!" Alex said with a smug look. "Thank you-- wait hey--!" Peri started but was already gone. Alex just smiled and finally grabbed her PS5 controller

After a moment, Alex's mom knocked and came in. "Hi toots! We're back!" Her mom announced with a smile. "Hey, momma." Alex smiled and waved. "Anything interesting happen?" Her mom said with a playful hint in her tone. Alex blinked and looked at the floor for a moment. "Yeah... a new interesting story to write one day."

💜End❤️

[matashaw]

El Matashaw

≫I mean, my tumblr is literally called Matashaw, of course I’m gonna have Matashaw headcanons! This post is dedicated to the best person I’ve ever met in the fandom, @vampirateee !! I hope you enjoy them a lot, I love you!!

(Tw for slight nsfw)

General headcanons:

El Matador

trans fem, pansexual, she/her pronouns

Spanish, born in the capital

hyper sexual, but doesn’t accept it because “everyone’s a bit horny sometimes” (she’s horny 24/7)

npd and bdp because, do I have to explain??

crazy bitch with multiple disorders but I love her

loves tight shirts and flare/wide pants (and short skirts but that’s on special occasions), her closet literally has any piece you can think of!

rudest person EVER, doesn’t think before talking, and is not willing to. Apologizing? What’s that?

proudest Spaniard you will ever meet

really silky, soft, long black hair, every time she’s stressed she just caresses it

North Shaw

trans masc, bisexual, he/they pronouns

Both of his parents are Argentinian but he was born in Australia

Has freckles literally everywhere, doesn’t really like them

biggest The Smiths and The Cure fan, some people might call him basic because his favorite song is “Boys don’t cry”. He once listened to it all night and his neighbors called the police on him

HES SO DUMB HE CANT TAKE INDIRECTS FOR HIS LIFE OH MY GOD

stupid ass jock (I’m so mad about the fact they made him smarter in the earlier seasons)

a sucker for love, spent his teenage years hugging his pillow while crying

found out he was into men thanks to an “am I gay” quiz he did as a joke with his friends, he got the highest score out of them and stayed awake the whole night thinking about it

his dancing skills are horrible, but has so much fun in discos, he be hitting the most hideous moves with Blok, but hey, he’s happy!

Ship headcanons:

“North is the smart one and El Matador is the stupid one!” INCORRECT LOUD BUZZER, WRONG. THEY ARE BOTH STUPID AS FUCK

used to shower together but they stopped since North kept peeing on his very dear gf☺️

their first date was to the beach, they both got drunk and decided to go run naked and terrorize seagulls (they later had to run away because the seagulls came for them)

North is sometimes quite insecure about his body, and el matador literally does not help.

——north looking at himself in the mirror clearly feeling insecure

——“babe don’t look at yourself like that your ass is so fat and juicy don’t worry”

all their disagreements get solved with a “I’m at Wendy’s do you want something”

North once presented El to his parents, let’s just say they had to go to couple therapy after that! (Thanks Nel for the hc)

admire each other a lot, but will not say it

when sleeping together North keeps getting in El’s side of the bed. (She pushes him out by literally kicking him) (and he somehow doesn’t wake up)

oh yeah I forgot, NORTH SNORES SO LOUDLY.

El Matador once tried to cover his mouth with water to stop the snoring but he began to choke (and he still somehow didn’t wake up)

when bored El asks North to carry her around the house

North canonically doesn’t shower a lot so his very dear gf (☺️) created a twitter account called “North’s days without showering count” in which she posts things like “day nine without north showering. He smells like hell and says going into the ocean counts as showering.” (account which went pretty viral)

when making out North usually grabs her by her waist

they are so dumb some of their conversations are like this

——“dude I was looking for my phone with my phones flashlight 😂😭”

——“oh my god 😂😭 where was it?”

North once got cancelled for punching a cameraman recording them getting out of a restaurant

they can be in the most serious talk of their life’s with the team and El would star rubbing north’s thight and then looking at him like “you know you want this” (once got caught and coach went on an one hour rant with the boys about why it was wrong)

For North’s birthday El gave him multiple photos of herself and made one of those rose petals path with candles to the room

The most romantic North has even done is letting El eat the last fry

North brushes El’s hair when he’s nervous

every time any of them have a hard day they just curl up on the bed hugging each other while the other one cries (but when asked they both deny it because what the fuck that’s so embarrassing)

talk shit together

——“I CANT believe they put Liquido number one in the best hair of the super league category, HAVE YOU SEEN THAT?”

——“OH MY GOD I KNOW RIGHT IT LOOKS HORRENDOUS WHO EVEN FUCKED HIM UP THAT BADLY”

literally kissed in front of everyone after winning the super league but hey… Those are just rumors, alright??

El matador paints North’s nails but he usually ends up eating the nail polish when dry (again thanks Nel for the hc!!)

every time El sees North talk to someone she immediately comes and enters the conversation as she hugs North (jealous cunt)

Both confessed their love to each other when drunk at a super league event

North has an horrible photo of El sleeping as his phone wallpaper

They both sleep naked

NSFW headcanons:

both absolutely love riding each other

There isn’t a pose they haven’t tried out yet

They both have so much hickeys, and when people ask them why do they both CASUALLY have hickeys they’ll just say “yeah I think the mosquitos empire only comes for our necks… and torsos… and waists… and chests….”

THEY ARE SO LOUD OH MY GOD

once had sex in the beach, they’ve never had more fun (north’s idea)

If you wonder, the glasses ARE STAYING.

once had an argument because North came on her face and stained her glasses so she got mad at him, then North said that she should take the glasses off and oh my god north how could u say that to me learn to control your cum it’s not that hard

El once called North at 3am because she was feeling so horny and dirty talked until the sunrise (me and who..)

blowjobs >>>

they like it rough!!

absolutely despise three-ways. Once tried it out and couldn’t even finish

hair pulling at its finest!!

[canirove]

Rúben Dias Imagine | two

Author’s note: Had this sitting on my drafts for a while, and thought, why not post it today that he finally played again? 😅 It’s something very random inspired by a prompt I saw here on Tumblr about jokingly catcalling someone in a different language, and not knowing they can understand that language. Hope you like it and thank you for reading! 💜

Masterlist

"Ok, ok. Repeat it again. Slowly."

"Te daba... Como cajón... Que no cierra."

"I think I got it. And it means?"

"Basically that you want to fuck him." 

"I mean literally, Sam" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Well, you know when you can't close a drawer and you start hitting it with your hips or your bum?"

"Oh..."

"Exactly. Which is what you want to do to Rúben. Or him to you" Sam says, elbowing me in the ribs.

"Yeah, yeah. But I can't tell him that, I'm not crazy."

"You'll have to be very drunk to say it, and we can't get drunk at a work party."

"We cannot."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Rúben!" I giggle, walking towards him. "Hello."

"Hello. Enjoying the party?"

"Very much. You?"

"It's ok."

"I have something to tell you" I whisper.

"You do?" he asks, arching an eyebrow.

"Yep. Te daba cajón cierra. Wait, no. That wasn't it" I laugh. "Give me a second... Ok, got it. Te daba como cajón que no cierra."

"I beg your pardon?"

"¡Te daba como cajón que no cierra!" I repeat, giggling like an idiot.

"Do you... Do you know what that means?"

"Yeah, Sam told me."

"But the literal translation or...?"

"I know what it means, Rúben. Do you?" I ask, trying to give him a mischievous smile.

"I do, yes."

"Oh... I thought you were Portuguese!"

"I am, but I also speak Spanish. It isn't that different from Portuguese, and my longest relationship was with a Spaniard, I learnt the language while we were together."

"Hot and intelligent" I snort. 

"Thank you?" he chuckles.

"And probably taken. A guy like you is definitely taken. Like, who am I kidding?"

"I'm single."

"And I'm the Queen of England!" I laugh. "Wait, no, she's dead. And I'm not dead. I am alive. Very alive!"

"And drunk. Very drunk" Rúben laughs.

"Don't tell our boss, please."

"It'll be our secret" he winks. "But you should stop drinking."

"And go for a wee."

"Do you know where..." 

But I don't hear what else he says. I'm already running towards the bathroom, feeling like I'm going to explode.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Morning."

"Hm" I grunt.

"Or should I say buenos días?"

"What?" I say, looking up from my coffee and meeting Rúben's eyes. He's talking... To me?

"How is the hangover?"

"The worst ever" I say, focusing again on the coffee machine and trying to process that Rúben knows I exist.

"Did you drink more after going to the bathroom? I didn't see you again."

"Wait, what? We... We spoke last night?" I ask, looking at him again. He looks so fresh and handsome while I look and feel... So ugly. Disgustingly ugly.

"You don't remember?"

"I... Maybe?"

"Dear God" he laughs. "Wait, too loud?"

"Yeah" I hiss.

"I'm sorry" he says with an apologetic smile. "But yes, we spoke last night. You shared with me your knowledge of the Spanish language."

"No!" I say, everything around me starting to move.

"Wow, careful there" he says, grabbing me by the arm and making me sit down. "Are you ok? You just went so pale..."

"I'm fine, I just..."

"You should have stayed home, call in sick."

"I thought I had dreamt that."

"What?" Rúben asks. He's sitting in front of me with his hand still on my arm, his thumb making small circles that instead of soothing me, are making me feel more dizzy. Though I don't want him to stop, to be honest.

"Me saying that in Spanish... I thought I had dreamt it. Did I... Did I also kiss you?"

"No, you didn't" he chuckles. "That was part of your dream."

"Oh, thank God" I sigh. "Not that kissing you is something bad, it's the total opposite. I guess. I don't know. I should stop talking, shouldn't I?"

"What you should do is eat something, you still look very pale."

"I'm not hungry."

"But if you don't eat, you may faint, this time properly, and I may not be there to catch you. You must eat something."

"Ok..." I whisper, trying not to think too much about his arms around me.

"Wait here, I have some energy bars on my desk."

"You don't have to, Rúben."

"I insist" he says, getting up from his chair and letting go of my arm, already making me miss his touch. "Just promise me you won't run away anywhere like you did last night."

"I won't, I promise."

"Chocolate or apple?"

"What?"

"Nothing, I'll bring both" he laughs before disappearing through the door, leaving me thinking that besides being hot and intelligent, now I also know that he is extremely cute and caring, which means that my crush has gone from 10 to 100. Great.

[webbo0]

*Cowboy voice* “I Ain’t Quitting You”

Holland March x Jackson Healy

AO3 link

Length: 2,183 words

Summary:

"In my psychology class, we talked about something called an Oral Fixation; Freud made it up. Maybe you just need to have something else to like, chew on and stuff." "Sweetheart, we’ve talked about this —" "Oh my god, Dad, just get some gum or whatever!" AKA 7 things Holland March tries to help him quit drinking, plus the 1 time Jackson Healy helps him out. AKA Holland does NOT have an oral fixation, Thank you very much

Content/Warning: Idiot to lovers, Oral Fixation, Kissing, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Smoking, Sobriety, Quitting Smoking, Post-Canon, chosen family, 5+1 Things, technically it's 7 + 1 things, slight angst, Mature Content, implied/referenced sexuality

Authors Note: This is actually the first fic I ever published back in September '23, but I never posted it to Tumblr, so here ya go!

Original Notes:

Welp. I finally did it. Almost a decade in fandoms and it was Ryan fucking Gosling that made me cave and finally write fanfiction. Shoutout to the Goosecord for the motivation/encouragement to write this and for the feedback, especially @sandpapersnowman for helping me format this for AO3!! Y'all are the best!!

Anyways enjoy!!

***

"March, we gotta talk."

Holland jerks up and immediately regrets it when his head pounds and everything tilts about 270° too far to the left. He groans and falls off the bed. Bed? He doesn’t remember getting there. Or undressing, apparently, because looking down, he quickly realizes he’s wearing nothing but some embarrassingly old boxers. And Healy’s standing above him. Holland scrambles back into bed and covers himself in a blanket.

"Stop pretending I haven’t seen you half-naked before. You’re acting like a Victorian duchess."

"A man must preserve his — hrrk — dignity," Holland retorts back in a bad British accent, having to pause and suppress a wave of nausea halfway through his sentence.

Healy scoffs

"Dignity, my ass! Holly found you passed out on the diving board. You could’ve gotten hurt! Again!"

Holland feels suddenly defensive. "And why do you care? What are you, my fairy drunk-mother?" Not your best comeback there, March, he thinks.

"You’re my business partner; I have a vested interest in having an income, so forgive me if I want my co-detective alive to work with me. You need to stop drinking."

Holland rolls his eyes. "I’ve got it under control, Healy. I’m a big boy, y’know?" God, he wishes he could take a nap right now.

"March, I’m serious; you’re going to do permanent damage to your liver. Plus," Healy hesitates as if he’s trying to figure out a way to finish his sentence without sounding like an asshole, "it’s not fair to Holly. You’re the only family she’s got left; you have to be there for her. She’s a teenager now and needs someone to guide her through adolescent idiocy. You’re her dad, you owe it to her."

That wakes him up. He’s always pushed down the guilt he has over his behavior, but when Healy lays it all out in front of him like that? He knows he’s deluded himself for years into thinking Holly wouldn’t notice, but she’s not a kid anymore. And the thought of her as an impressionable teenager following in his footsteps makes him nauseous for a whole different reason.

He sighs.

"Alright, alright, cut my balls off, why don’tcha? But fine, I get it."

"Thank you," Healy looks relieved.

"I can’t just quit cold chicken, though, withdrawals can be dead—"

"Turkey"

"Hm?" "The phrase is cold turkey."

"No, I’m pretty sure it's chicken."

"Why would it be — never mind. And yeah, it would be pretty dangerous to just stop altogether. What if we cut it down to one drink a day?"

"One? No way, pal, three a day minimum."

"Three?! There is something seriously wrong with you, March."

"Hey!"

An hour of negotiations later, they settle on a begrudged compromise.

That was a month ago, and Holland was regretting ever saying yes to the whole stupid plan. To substitute for the flask he always took a swig from whenever he needed to calm his nerves, he kept an extra pack of cigarettes, so he was smoking twice as much as usual. And Holly isn't a fan of his new habit. It’s a Monday morning, and Holland sits at the table, sipping his coffee, while Holly gets ready for school. Healy had stopped by to drop off some paperwork for their latest case, and now, for some inexplicable reason, is making them all pancakes. He bites back a comment about him making a great housewife and instead turns to Holly, arms out for a hug. She had a big test today and has insisted on the Mandatory Good Luck Hug before tests since kindergarten. She makes a face at him.

"Ugh, Dad, you smell gross!"

Tchk. Teenagers. "Holly, it’s rude to say that to someone’s face."

"It's true, March, you smell like an ashtray had sex with another ashtray," Healy comments from his place in front of the stove, not even turning around.

"Yeah, and then their house burned down." Holly adds, "You do know those will kill you one day, right?"

"Pfft, no way! Doctors used to give these to you! My own father had a prescription for a pack a day!"

Healy turns around. "Didn't he die of lung cancer?"

"Yeah, why?"

Healy pinches the bridge of his nose. He looks like he has a headache brewing.

Holly waltzes into the kitchen and steals a pancake from the ever-growing stack.

"In my psychology class, we talked about something called an Oral Fixation; Freud made it up. Maybe you just need to have something else to like, chew on and stuff."

"Sweetheart, we’ve talked about this —"

"Oh my God, Dad, just get some gum or whatever!"

She still leans in for a half hug while wrinkling her nose, because tradition is tradition. As she walks to the bus stop, Holland considers her words. Was he obsessed with things in his mouth? He took a sip of coffee before anyone could notice his face flushing a lovely shade of magenta.

The first thing he tries is Holly’s initial suggestion: gum. He gets a shit ton of flavors to try to find one he won’t get tired of. He settles on Bubblicious watermelon wave. The idea is largely effective, and Holland's smoking is cut down to what Holly decides is a "normal amount."

Unfortunately, Holland has the manners of a barn animal, so after only nine days of chewing with his mouth open non-stop, Healy is about to strangle him.

"March, buddy, I’m glad this is helping with your ‘mouth thing’," he starts. Holland opens his mouth to protest before Healy quickly cuts him off to finish. "But we have to figure something else out before I make the ‘arm incident’ look like a harmless prank."

Holland shuts up. No problem, he’ll find something else. He was getting tired of the gum sticking to his teeth anyway.

Holland’s next plan; a toothpick. More similar in shape to a cigarette and they last much longer. Bonus points: Holly thinks he looks “far out”. This plan lasts about 3 seconds before he gets a splinter in his gums. Toothpick is out.

Plan C is to just chew on the end of his pen as he works. Holland thinks it makes him look distinguished. Healy’s just kinda grossed out. Everything is fine until he finds a break in their case, jumps up in excitement, and promptly inhales the pen cap. Healy has to use the damn Heimlich maneuver on him, frantically grabbing him and squeezing harder than Holland thinks is necessary. But what does he know? And, wow, he definitely isn’t thinking about how Healy's strong arms feel around him.

When Healy silently hands him a teething ring meant for fussy toddlers, Holland almost punches him (attempted sobriety has him more on edge than usual). But hearing Holly’s muffled hysterics around the corner instantly dissolves his irritation. Something about Jackson and Holly working together just makes his heart flutter.

And sometimes, when he’s sure no one is looking, he’ll hold up the ring on a chain around his neck to his mouth. Softly, not biting or chewing, just letting it rest between his lips. And no matter what Jackson softly asks him one night, tears are not falling down his face. Those are the nights he really regrets cutting down on his drinking.

It’s when he starts keeping a lollipop in his mouth most of the day he notices Healy acting… Different. When Holland’s doing his work, going over papers and poring over phone books, he lets himself loosen up. Often he’ll tap his pen in random patterns, or jiggle his leg up and down (which drives Healy crazy), or more recently, he’ll hold his lollipop between his fingers like a cigarette and slowly lick circles around it. It’s a mindless behavior that helps him concentrate, but for some reason, Healy doesn’t like it. March can tell. He notices Healy glance at him and then darts his eyes down as if it weirds him out just to witness it. It hurts; Healy knows how much Holland is trying to be better, why would he judge him for how he’s coping? He tries to brush it off, wondering why it bothers him so much; he should be used to people not getting him by now.

They’re sitting next to each other on the couch in Holland’s living room, working on their latest case. It’s late at night and Holly is sleeping at a friend’s house for a birthday party. Holland is losing himself in the details of this case (who kidnaps a pet snake??) when he senses Healy’s attention on his mouth, which he currently occupies with a new blue raspberry lollipop.

After the fifth time Holland catches Healy staring at his mouth he snaps.

“I know I’m a fuck-up and everything but can you at least try to hide how much you —"

He’s cut off when something covers his lips. Oh. When Healy covers his lips. With his mouth. Oh. Holland’s brain takes about three seconds to catch up with what’s happening. Jackson’s kissing him. Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Jackson must’ve taken his frozen state as rejection because he quickly pulls back. Holland almost whines from the loss of contact.

“Fuck. Fuck! I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry, Holland,” Jackson runs a hand through his hair, clearly panicking, “You’ve just been such a goddamn tease with the fuckin’, whatever it is you’re doing with those lollipops and I couldn’t hel—”

This time he’s cut off from finishing his sentence by Holland grabbing his face and kissing him so hard he’s distantly worried about breaking Jackson’s nose. Holland’s hands rest on the side of Jackson’s face and cup the back of his neck, bracing himself in a desperate attempt to hide how much he’s shaking. Jackson’s lips are firm and his 3-day-old stubble is rough against his skin; one of his hands automatically threads into Holland’s hair, and the other hovers over his side before settling on his hips. He squeezes and the feeling goes straight to Holland’s dick. He lets out a wet groan into Jackson’s mouth who responds with a deep rumble.

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Jackson growls, pulling away from Holland to let him catch his breath.

“Tell me,” is all that Holland responds, dipping his head and latching his mouth to Jackson’s neck, drawing out a strangled gasp.

“Since the day you fell asleep on my shoulder during that stakeout, and grabbed onto me like a fucked-up koala. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you,” Jackson is visibly struggling to keep his composure as Holland's fingers move to the buttons on Jackson's shirt, frantically undoing them and pushing his hands under the cheap cotton. Holland moves his mouth down his neck, biting and sucking and doing things with his tongue that must be good because Jackson is making sounds that frankly should be illegal.

“Maybe Holly’s right, you really have a fixation on —”

Jackson yelps before he can finish his thought because Holland bites down hard into the soft skin of Jackson’s shoulder.

“Please don't mention my daughter while I’m giving you hickeys, it’s weird,” Holland mumbles while sucking what is sure to be a large dark splotch into Jackson’s collarbone.

“What I’m saying,” Jackson starts, as he grabs Holland's hair and jerks his head up to look him in the eyes, pupil’s blown. Holland would’ve whined from the loss of contact if he wasn’t moaning from Jackson’s hand tugging against his scalp.

“What I’m saying, is that maybe you just need to be doing something useful for once with that pretty little mouth besides drinking and talking non-stop.”

“And smoking, can’t forget all the smo—” Jackson shuts him up by shoving the thumb of the hand not tangled in his hair into Holland’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue. He moans around his hand in a way he knows must sound obscene. Jackson curses as Holland simultaneously starts sucking his fingers like it’s his job and fumbling with the buckle on Jackson’s jeans.

“God, you are something special, Holland,” he murmurs softly, and Jackson says his name with such reverence that if Holland doesn’t get the other man’s pants off immediately, he might explode.

He drops to his knees between Jackson’s thick thighs, because if everyone and their mother were so insistent he has this ‘mouth fixation’ or whatever, he might as well blow their expectations out of the water.

Heh, blow. Good one March.

He stares at the crotch of Jackson’s jeans, already starting to drool.

___

After that night, Holland sticks with the lollipops (now sugar-free, because his dentist nearly had a conniption when he last went in for a cleaning). No longer worried about Healy’s judgment, he loosens up and allows himself to fidget weirdly in peace. And if he and Jackson are alone on the nights when needs a little help with his mouth thing (because fine, yes, he might have a little fixation. Sue him), and he’s having a particularly hard time not turning to his vices? Well, that’s between him, his gag reflex, and Freud.

***

Hope y'all enjoyed!!! You get bonus points if you find all the other Ryan Gosling movie references Again, this is the first full fic I've written so any and all feedback is welcomed!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hiiiii!!!

The Hindi songs guy again (salaamat recommendation, if "Hindi songs guy" is too vague)! Firstly, thanks for telling the name of the song, I listened to it and *sighs* it was them!

Secondly, i didn't know you were from India too! Got to know some days ago from your posts, and then just read your post when you were drunk and telling about India. And I fully agree, it was accurate (and as a North Indian, I'm sorry for the racism🙊). And I'm also sorry about the transphobia and every other awfulness you might've experienced. I love youuuu (sorry if this is too weird🙆🏻‍♂️). Also, the career prospects thing was 100% true: I was 'supposed' to become a doctor, but I had taken science just coz i liked it, and then there was a three years long tragic battle against doctor as a career, and then finally after a failed suicide attempt, I was able to choose English Literature, and things are only now (5 years after the fact) looking better....sooooo I guess your fears about college are totally valid but it will be better, you'll meet great people and learn so much beautiful stuff and create sooo many brilliant thingss! Again, I love youuu (and again, sorry if all of it is too much info, too weird, I'm just...weirdly emotional, idk why)

Thirdly, I really like your name! Asmi is a beautifullll nameee!

Fourthly, sorryy for the long and weird ask, just... I'm glad to know someone else from India here, who's also a Good Omens fan and evidently a lovely person. Sooo lots of long tight hugss!

Lastly, sorry for all the sorrys, and you can totally ignore this if it's uncomfortable or anything (if you couldn't tell by the sorrys, I'm super self-conscious, so thanks for the anonymous option)

Love and hugss, and best of luck for college, for your art, and life in general!❤️

Hey anon maggot! I'm so happy you listened to the song and loved it.

And thank you so much for sharing this with me. It's awful that you had to go through all of that, and I'm so proud of you for surviving. I spent three years preparing for medicine too (11th and 12th year, which caused me to fall sick and miss the NEET test, so I took a gap year etc) and I really did want it. Well, I thought I did. It was more that I didn't think I had any other choice.

TW: explicit mentions of transphobia and disregard and discrimination on the basis of mental health below. Skip the below paragraph if you need to.

I'm glad you're doing better. Yeah, I am not looking forward to college. I know there will be fun parts and all. But I had a go at college for three months back in August, and despite it being very liberal and open and stuff in theory, I had to drop out because the entire student body was isolating me because of my mental health and things my ex-roommate had said about me, and a lot of transphobia from the admin too. When I went to the dean and told her I felt unsafe and the environment was horrible, she told me to stop being so self-absorbed (and then denied she said that the next day to my parents). Luckily after the whole medical ordeal my parents had learned to listen to me and they helped me leave.

I will try again. It's just that it's... disheartening. That was design school, too, just like my next college will be. And I really did try my best. It's weird thinking about all that stuff because Tumblr and you maggots have kind of, well, healed it in a way, and given me such a safe space here that it feels unbelievable that the real world could be so, so fucking shite. Apologies for the vent here, but I do want to be honest, and I want everyone who's faced the same thing to know that they're not alone. Because I know so many people, too many, who've been there.

Thank god for Good Omens and you all. For the ridiculous amount of support and love and joy I've got here. It's easier to forget about all of it for a while when I focus on Crowley's pouts and Aziraphale smiling and making you all laugh.

And hey, you have nothing to feel sorry for. I'm so grateful to you for taking the time to write this. I love you too, anon maggot, so very much. Take all the tight hugs right back. I'm so proud of you for fighting for the future you wanted and deserved. I know it's not easy, both to fight with your internalised doubt and the others.

I'm so proud.

Good luck.

All the love, Asmi

[articfoxxxxsstuff]

Hello my dear readers! Do enjoy this little (is 4.6k little?) teaser in the toilet before the main event ;)! Previous Chapters 1-4 are on my Tumblr and AO3. Please help yourself~

Link Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Title: 2AM

Pairing: Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Chapter:5

Warning: Boob play, Boob worshipping, Book sucking, Fingering, Pussy eating, Cumming, Oral sex in the toilet, your orgasms before he gets his, making out, filthy blowjob, suggestive stuff, Dirty NSFW Thoughts, Language

Masterpiece blessed by @nana.yin.nana

Things escalated very quickly after that intense grinding session. One minute you were on the dance floor passionately making out with a handsome blonde-haired stranger and the next minute you found yourself in a hazy post-make out daze being dragged halfway across the dance floor.

Kyojuro's large hand securely enclosed itself around your wrist in a vice-like grip as he assertively led you through the crowd. He was never going to let go of your hand ever again. The next thing he planned to do was to give you a little preview. His eyes darkened as he imagined countless scenarios which included you begging for his cock. No, he was going to first make you crave for him as much as he did before finally giving you the proper fucking that you deserved. After all, naughty girls need to be punished. He still had yet to forgive you for your little stunt earlier.

You on the other hand albeit a bit tipsy, was wondering how Kyojuro's handsome face could remain so impassive in public especially after that entire fiasco. Shouldn't he be trying his hardest to get into your pants? What does he mean by 'stop by somewhere first before going home'? Was this going to be a quickie? You weren't some side dish. The more you thought about it, the more insecure you felt. However, all your fears dissipated the moment your eyes caught his. His glowing eyes were only focused on one person, you and that was all the reaffirmation you needed.

Poor (your name), you really didn't need to worry about how Kyojuro felt about you. If anything, you failed to notice how his fingers would tighten a bit more than necessary whenever someone got too close to you. Unfortunately for him, his loyal and self-proclaimed number one friend had already long spotted you two trying to get through the sea of sweaty bodies and decided that he was in the mood for some mischief.

"Hey Rengoku!"

"Tengen. Sorry but as you can see I'm a bit busy at the moment." Kyojuro forced a polite smile before shooting his pal an agitated look.

Tengen smirked and lazily placed both his palms up in mock surrender before stooping down to whisper into his friend's ear, "If you're looking for a decent toilet. I know where you can find one."

"Don't test my patience Tengen, I swear-"

"I mean you're more than welcome to join the long queue, if you two aren't too pressed for time." The silver man grinned while gesturing towards the long line of semi-drunk people leaning against the wall all awaiting their turn to do their business, be it peeing, vomiting or sex.

Kyojuro wasn't exactly thrilled to be stopped mid-conquest, but he had to admit that his friend was right. The corners of his dark eyebrows furrowed, and an irritated emotion briefly crossed his eyes before he came to a complete standstill. Shit, he hadn't properly thought this through. Is this what thinking with his dick felt like? This wasn't going to work, giving you a little teaser in a filthy toilet used by God knows how many people. How unbecoming of his manners.

As he continued analysing his options on the spot, the man made sure to quickly steal a glance at you to check if you were still ok. Thankfully he didn't have to worry too much about how you were faring. You looked quite relaxed with your eyes closed as you lightly swayed to the beat with his hand still possessively on your wrist. God, you were such a good girl putting all your trust in him. He was going to reward you well for your good behaviour.

"I didn't really peg you as an exhibitionist Rengoku! In front of so many people? How flamboyant! Maybe you're into pegging as well hmm? " Tengen's deafening voice quickly drew the man back to reality.

"I'm not." He tapped his feet impatiently while waiting for his friend to finish what he had come here to say. Whatever information Tengen wanted to reveal had better be fucking useful.

"Just between you and me, I would recommend the staff toilet downstairs. It's often vacant." The silver haired man's sly voice dropped an octave as he patted his best friend's shoulders in a friendly manner.

"You better not be pulling my leg Tengen." Tengen could see that his friend's eyes were now glinting even more dangerously.

"Cross my heart. I hope you have a nice fuck. You desperately are in need of it." He laughed as he watched his friend hurriedly disappear with you down the flights of steps that lead downstairs.

"Tengen sama! How did you know about the staff bathroom?" A girl with short dark blue hair pouted while hooking her arm around the tall man's arm.

"Tengen sama has his ways. Why are you so surprised?" Another lady with a ponytail piped up while hooking her arm seductively on Tengen's other arm.

"Ladies settle down. I promise to bring the three of you to a bigger and better spot." The silver haired man grinned while moving towards to cup the chin of another black-haired lady who was quietly blushing at his actions.

Rengoku Kyojuro was normally a patient man but tonight was different. He almost, almost felt bad for losing his temper at his close colleague but surely his friend would understand right? Heck, he had always been teased for being a virgin but above all, he couldn't afford to waste any more precious time. 10 long years of unrequited one-sided love for someone who forgot about his existence. He had time, right? Kyojuro absent-mindedly began licking his suddenly dried lips with his long red tongue. Enough time for a quick taster, before he could rightly indulge and lose himself in your wet cavern.

"Rengoku-san? Aren't the toilets upstairs?" Your melodious voice broke the silence of the deserted hallway and immediately brought him back from his lewd thoughts.

"Don't worry my love. I'm bringing you to somewhere more private, away from all those distractions." Kyojuro whispered to you in a reassuring voice before planting a soft kiss on your knuckles.

"Mhmm sounds good." You giggled while attempting to rub your thighs together in hopes of reducing the growing need down south which of course didn't go unnoticed. Kyojuro's penetrating eyes gleamed sharply as he watched you struggle with your little predicament. He was positive that he could easily help you with that.

Fortunately for the both of you Tengen was right, no one was around. Kyojuro muttered a silent 'thank you' and confidently strode towards the door with a 'staff only' sign hanging on top. He then impatiently reached out to throw open the door.

Bingo.

The door swung open to reveal an empty bathroom dimly lit by a long strip of white florescent light. Kyojuro's amber eyes quickly scanned the surroundings as he took note of the plain walls that were smeared with all manners of graffiti, a mirror on top of a small sink and most importantly a toilet bowl with a lid on. He could already picture himself getting a blowjob from you on the throne.

Not bad Tengen.

As soon as you stepped into the room, you felt a strong pair of arms powerfully pulling you into the empty bathroom stall. You looked up to see Kyojuro smirking down at you while loosening his blood red tie.

God, he looked so hot.

"Last chance to say no (your name)." Kyojuro growled while pinning your arms firmly above your head as he took the opportunity to closely study your face with growing hunger.

"No? I'm not leaving till you fuck me Rengoku San." You couldn't help but feel quite turned on by the situation. There was something very intimate when the golden-haired man politely asked for your consent before they two of you began getting it on.

"Oh. Quite a straightforward thing, aren't you? First, allow me to reward you for being such a good girl." Kyojuro groaned and finally allowed himself to fully press his body against yours before taking an experimental hard thrust again your needy pussy.

"Ah." You mewled as you felt your lover roughly pushing you up against the rough concrete wall while planting hot open mouth kisses all the way down to your heaving chest.

"Tell me what you want." He glowered.

"Touch me here. Kyojuro." You cried out wantonly while cupping your (colour) tits in your trembling hands and thrusting them out to him like an offering.

Gods.

The 28-year-old man had waited far too long for this. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. The chance to finally savour his goddess's ample bosoms had finally arrived. Better yet, you were even presenting it to him just like how Eve bewitchingly presented an apple to Adam. He was going to devour you alright. The thought of him finally getting a taste of you made him harder, his thoughts and cock both giddy with excitement.

Within a few hot seconds you immediately felt both your blouse and bra being ripped off, leaving your breasts completely vulnerable and exposed for Kyojuro to drink in. You briefly wondered if he liked breasts. You were right because Kyojuro was currently salivating at the erotic sight presented in front of him. You half-naked with your (colour) tits lightly bouncing under the white florescent light was such an enticing sight. His eyes held a desperate look as he reached out for a touch before hesitating.

"Don't make me wait." You whined disappointed when his hands stopped midway.

"Apologies my love. I was just in awe of your beauty." Kyojuro murmured before taking time to bask in your lascivious radiance before deciding what to do to you next.

You on the other hand were growing a bit impatient at the pace so you decided to take matters into your own hands. Without thinking too much, you forcefully grabbed both his rough palms and placed them on your soft tits before letting out another lustful moan.

"Use them like this."

Shit. The minute the rough pads of his skin made contact with your soft breasts; he was gone. Kyojuro's ember eyes darkened tenfold as his inexperienced fingers began vigorously fondling and pulling tentatively at both your globes without mercy.

"Hnnnn Rengoku san!" You shamelessly screamed his last name out in pleasure while he stared fascinated at the softness and firmness behind each breast. The man continued to watch you struggle in vain against his touches with a debauched expression on his face as he continued to play with your pillowy tits.

Fuck

Kyojuro had to applaud you for you had single handedly threw his well-thought out plans out the window in a span of a few minutes. He had wanted to tease your pussy first and, but he had no idea how much you enjoyed having your breasts touched. His feral instincts were rampaging, urging him to just bury his face between your swaying tits. To dutifully worship them and so he did.

Fuck plans, this was so much better. The flushed man made sure to maintain intense eye contact with you before sinking down to press his warm face into the deep valley between your heaving breasts. His raging dick was now pulsating with dire need as he greedily inhaled the intoxicating smell of your tits before shamelessly taking one of them into his starving mouth to give it a good hard suck.

"Fucking delicious."

You squealed in pleasure as you felt his tongue teasingly flick against your nipple multiple times before he encircled it with his rough tongue. The man groaned approvingly at how addictive your breasts tasted while increasing the pace of his scalding hot tongue. He ended up latching onto that one breast and sucking like his entire life depended on it. His greedy hands meanwhile hungrily explored your other neglected one.

"How does it feel sweetheart?" The blonde-haired man panted while looking up seductively at you.

"So so good." You slurred, stammering a little because he was now running his thumbs in circles over your rock-hard nipples, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than your growing need for him.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Yes!" You moaned with lust clouded in your eyes. Before he could say anything else, you daringly pressed his head against your neglected left breast for more attention.

Kyojuro chucked at how adorable you were. You really liked your tits sucked huh? He then closed his eyes and began suckling on your lonely soft globe like a child, while his other hand went up to flick your other nipple with his thumb.

"Hnnn. More." You whined in need. It was becoming so difficult to hold your moans in. Kyojuro was doing such a good job turning you on that your pussy was probably leaking with wetness at this point.

"I want you to cum for me sweetheart."

"But I don't know if I can without your fingers in my-."

"Trust me my love. Cum when I give you the signal ok?"

You shook your head in denial at such a wild thought. Was it even possible? Cumming without his fingers in your cunt? All he did was just fondle and make out a little with your breasts. He hadn't even touched your pussy yet! Your body however was betraying you. You felt your legs beginning to shudder deliriously as you gradually succumbed to your lewd thoughts. Maybe you should trust him.

For Kyojuro, it was such a turn on for him to witness the way you were making desperate little noises against him and how wildly your hips were bucking. Although he didn't have much experience, the charming History teacher's observant eyes could pick up the tell-tale signs of a potential orgasm building up due to his torturous actions. You were almost there, you just needed one final push before you finally come undone.

'You are going to come whether you like it or not (your name).' Kyojuro darkly chuckled to himself before quickly positioning you to stand with your back against him as you watched him touch you from the mirror. He made you lean over the sink as you helplessly watched his large palms giving your poor breasts a few stinging smacks.

"Now, cum for Rengoku Kyojuro!" He growled while pinching hard on both your hardened nipples.

"Yessss!" You squealed in pain and pleasure as your first orgasm coursed through your body like a flowing river.

Kyojuro watched you intently, his eyes widening in lust, his ego soaring to great heights as he smugly watched you squirt your cum all over the mirror. That's right, he was the only one who could make you feel that good.

"Well done my love." He whispered in a low tone before turning you around to face him. Kyojuro then let his mouth drop open to let his saliva drool down his chin to pool on your soft breasts. You watched in a lusty haze as the blistering drops of liquid rolled down both your tits in an erotic manner.

Kyojuro then gave your breasts a gentle kiss before proceeding to massage his saliva into your tits in a circular motion. The blonde-haired man watched in satisfaction as you obediently let him perform such a dirty act on your body. He was feeling quite thankful that the alcohol from earlier was making you so pliant to his selfish whims. Perfect. Now that he had claimed your tits he should focus on claiming your pussy next.

"Rengoku San. Please."

"Kyojuro. Call me Kyojuro."

"Kyojuro."

"Did you enjoy that sweetheart? This is just the beginning you know." The blonde-haired man smirked before passionately kissing you on your bruised lips. You eagerly returned his kisses as you felt the man wrapping his arms around your lower back, to push you even more into him while your tongues pressingly massaged each other's. He was such a good kisser.

"Kyojuro-kun! I'm still- I'm not-" You cried out in pleasure as you felt his thick fingers sliding down your hips in a teasing manner. The man was fully enjoying himself. Slowly but surely, he knew that he was getting closer and closer to the area between your shaking legs.

"Show me how wet you are." He demanded in a commanding tone.

You let out a needy moan when Kyojuro finally found what he was looking for. His fingertips teasingly dragging up and down your wet slit through your soaking panties before he completely slipped them off. You tightened your grip around him while moaning quietly into your lover's ear. Fuck. Kyojuro swore that he could feel your entire body actually tightening and loosening at every little movement he made.

"So wet for me aren't you?" Kyojuro lazily began tracing circles around your juicy opening, while his other hand still continued groping one of your soft tits as he watched you nod weakly. God this was a million times better than in his dreams. At last, it was time for him to explore your inner depths. The golden eyed man took a deep breath before gently plunging one finger experimentally inside your wetness causing you to cry out loudly.

"So fucking tight sweetheart." Kyojuro smirked at you and started to slowly slide his long middle finger in and out at an excruciatingly slow pace. The squelching wet sound of the blonde-haired man fingering you in the bathroom was sending all your senses into overdrive. You didn't know if you could take any more of this torture.

"Please just put it in me already. Please."

Your aching pussy was throbbing painfully with need, as you begged him to just impale you with his dick.

Kyojuro simply smiled and instead of using his cock, he pushed two more of his thick fingers inside you which you gladly received. You felt so full. His fingers eventually began mimicking the frantic actions a penis would make, as if it was his actual penis ramming into your pussy instead.

"Shall I increase the pace, or do you want me to stop?" He playfully smirked at how weak you were to his charms.

"Eat me out."

"Oh?"

The blonde-haired man could hardly believe his ears at your bold request. If anything, it made him even hornier than he was. He immediately halted his actions and removed his cum-covered fingers from your cunt with a loud 'pop' before getting on his knees with a glazed look in his eyes.

"... If that's what you wish."

You looked down panting to see Kyojuro with his eyes closed, eagerly pulling your lower body towards his open and waiting mouth. God it was such a sensual sight that it immediately sent your heart palpitating. You couldn't get enough of how serious he looked. He looked even more attractive looking so concentrated with the task that you had just given him.

"Ah!" You instantly let up a squeak the minute you felt his soft lips pressing butterfly kisses on your damp pussy lips. The man began lazily kissing a circle at the opening of your cunt before settling on flicking his nimble tongue against your fluttering pink pussy lips.

"When was the last time someone ate you out sweetheart." You felt Kyojuro gently hum against your hole before deeply inhaling your sweet musk.

"I-I don't remember. Uh that's so embarrassing Kyojuro." Blushing profusely, you attempted to shield your flustered face from the man who was busy burying his mouth against your wet cunt.

"Keep your legs open for me."

You nodded and shyly opened your legs as wide as you could as you watched the man try to suck in your entire pussy into his hot mouth. This time he had finally found your engorged clit.

"Kyoooo stop please stop! It feels too good!" You cried out while trashing helplessly against the blonde-haired man who firmly pinned your hips down with all his strength.

You tasted so fucking good. Kyojuro's eyes almost rolled to the back of his head as he continued teasing your swollen clit with his wet tongue. He could feel your entire body trembling even more and as you began to feel another climax coming.

"Kyojuro please I'm almost-'

"Cum for me." Three simple words and a hard press against your sensitive clit propelled you into another flurry of emotions.

"Ah! Ah! Hn! Ah! Kyojuro!" You let out a loud scream as you came hard into Kyojuro's mouth, painfully gripping the sides of the sink. Explosions rippling throughout your frazzled brain and throbbing cunt.

"Umai! Umai! Umai!"

The golden-haired man eagerly lapped up every drop of the sweet nectar like a starved man.

Somewhere deep in your lust-filled mind, you sincerely hoped that the loud music in the club was loud enough to prevent people from hearing your desperate screams. Kyojuro on the other hand, was thinking otherwise. He wanted everyone in the club to hear you come undone from his lewd actions. Perhaps Tengen was right again. He was probably an exhibitionist...

"Look at how soaked you are my love. Just look at you. I guess you won't be needing these anymore huh?" Kyojuro chuckled as he tried to wipe off as much cum as he could with your panties before stuffing your soaked undergarments into his back pocket.

You panted in sheer exhaustion as you tried to catch your breath from your second orgasm of the night. Your (colour) eyes quickly found his as you flashed him a very satisfied and euphoric look. It was now a fact that Rengoku Kyojuro was the one responsible for giving you the best orgasm in your life even without using his cock yet. Where were your manners? You needed to show him your gratitude.

"Please let me return the favour."

Gods you were so fucking adorable.

Kyojuro felt his heart throb as well as his cock when he allowed you to lead him to the ceramic throne at the corner of the toilet. With one finger, you pushed him to sit his firm ass down on the toilet seat. His eyes watched intensely as you dropped down to unzip his black trousers and release his hard cock out of its tight prison cell.

"Like what you see sweetheart?"

He smirked as he watched his (number) inch cock spring out of its confines and angrily slap the side of your surprised face. You let out an appreciative noise before throwing him the sexiest look you could muster. It was working because his cock was now rock solid.

With a cheeky smile on your face, you proceeded to drag your plump lips down the bottom of Kyojuro's shaft and lightly brushed your teeth on his semen filled balls. His cock was very girthy in size with well-trimmed blonde hairs growing around it. You couldn't resist gently pulling on his blonde pubic hair as you continued lapping him up.

"Stop teasing me."

You gulped as you saw the delicious veins on Kyojuro's forehead growing tauter as he forcefully pressed his hard cock between your soft lips.

So eager.

Pushing your hair back behind your ears, you leaned forward to take Kyojuro's entire cock into your hungry mouth. The blonde-haired man let out a huge sinful groan as soon as he felt your soft lips faintly passing over the head of his cock. The way your tongue danced around his dick was slowly sending shivers of pleasures up his spine. You were such a good cock sucker.

"Fuck."

Kyojuro threw his head back in pleasure and was hit with the sudden need to grab something. The man's eyes glinted dangerously as he couldn't resist reaching out to blindly grope your naked tits. This time, it was your turn to moan.

"Ah!"

It must have been such a sinful sight. You on the floor moaning heavily with Kyojuro's massive cock inside your mouth and him with his hands pawing at your tits. Your needy moans were continuously sending out delicious vibrations reverberating through his sensitive shaft before you peeked at your lover who looked like he was in complete bliss.

"Your mouth feels so fucking good." Kyojuro groaned as he watched you suck hungrily on his large and angry dick. You smiled coltishly in return and began increasing the speed. The blonde-haired History teacher fixated on you as you began bobbing back and forth on his hard cock, eager to please him for taking such good care of you earlier.

It was at this point that Kyojuro couldn't take it anymore, he violently grabbed your hair and started rutting into your mouth like a frenzied beast.

"Oh (your name). That's it love, take it all for me!" He groaned as he felt as if a missile hit him in the gut and exploded. His creamy hot seed began pouring out from his cock into your eager awaiting mouth. You did your best to swallow every drop while still maintaining eye contact with the man.

"That was amazing." Kyojuro panted breathing hard as his eyes focused on you wiping the side of your face with the back of your hand. He had no idea that you could suck cock like that.

This wasn't over yet. You on the other hand were still very much aroused. "I need you inside me!” You half-cried out in lust as you tried in vain to sit on top of the blonde man. This was too much, you needed him in you now.

Kyojuro simply sat back on the toilet seat, crimson eyes watching you in amusement as you attempted to coax his dick back to its maximum hardness with your tantalizing fingers.

You were so fucking adorable. So eager for his cock.

"Please Kyojuro. I want your cock." You begged with tears glistening at the corners of your eyes as you tried lowering your dripping pussy onto Kyojuro's towering erection.

This was the scene he had been waiting for all these years.

Absolutely breath taking.

The man let out a small hiss as soon as he felt the tip of his cock entering your tight wetness. Instead of pulling you down on his angry cock, he abruptly forced himself to stand up causing you to topple backwards in shock. Before you could fall unceremoniously on your back, you felt Kyojuro's strong arms pulling you back into his chiseled chest.

"What the f-!"

Just when you were about to give him a piece of your mind, Kyojuro made you look him in the eye and apologised.

"Sweetheart. You have no idea how much I want to sink my cock into you right now but wouldn't you prefer to be fucked in my bed?" He huskily bit the top part of your ear causing you to fall to your knees.

Kyojuro smirked at your reaction as he endearingly watched your expression change from anger to embarrassment to lust. He then continued whispering all the dirty things he was going to do to you and made a promise to fulfill all your fantasies at his place. Your white-hot anger quickly subsided as his words left your pussy even wetter with anticipation.

"But before that, let's get you dressed sweetheart." Kyojuro gently smiled as he busied himself by buttoning up his shirt and pulling his trousers back on.

You nodded hazily as you let him 'respectfully' put your attire back on. No guy has ever done this for you before. He was such a gentleman.

Before leaving the toilet, he made sure to straighten his tie in the mirror while looking over his shoulder to watch you eyeing him with lust-clouded eyes.

"What about my... bra and...-"

"Oh those? You're going to walk back to my place without them."

"What?" You stuttered in embarrassment.

A look of slight irritation quickly passed over Kyojuro’s face the moment he saw that you were about to protest like a spoilt brat when the deafening sound of the familiar EDM music completely drowned your voice out.

The blonde-haired man made sure to swing open the door and offered you an arm with a charming smile on his face. His dark eyes beckoning you towards him while any form of protest immediately died on your lips the minute you stepped out into the noisy hallway. Feeling a bit embarrassed and defeated, you reluctantly allowed him to lead you out of the club without your undergarments which weren't properly concealed in his back pocket.

Of course, Kyojuro wasn't going to make it easy for you. After all, he still needed to punish you for that little stunt you pulled earlier.

[vikensbrainrot]

To you, a year ago

Tags: Choi Beomgyu-centric; implied Choi Beomgyu/Hwang Hyunjin; implied Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun; best friends Beomgyu & Taehyun; brothers Beomgyu & Jungwon; other idols mentioned; mentions of alcohol; bipolar Beomgyu; suicidal thoughts; suicide attempt; heavy angst.

Summary: Beomgyu had the worst experience of his year at last night's party. Now it was Monday, and he locked himself in his room. Depressed, he doesn't see any way out, unless...

A/N: This fic is actually a flashback chapter from a story I am posting on Ao3. In the original story, Beomgyu only meets Yeonjun a year later, and the person portrayed here as Yeonjun is someone else. I just changed the names because no one here in Tumblr knows about the original. If you want to check, just click here.

Also, this chapter is essentially the main character attempting suicide. If you feel triggered by this topic, DON'T READ IT.

If you are dealing with any mental disorder, as I am, I want to say that there is a way out. This is basically my story. And one year later I am the best version of myself. I go to therapy, I take my meds, and I do my best. Death is not the way out, although it may feel like it, there will always be something that will make it worth living. Beomgyu makes my life bearable. That's why I chose him to represent myself in my stories.

June 28th, 2021

It was a sunny Monday, but the windows in Beomgyu's room were fully shut. Beomgyu had a terrible headache due to the alcohol he consumed this weekend. 'listen before I go' by Billie Eilish played in the background, and memories of last night flashed in the boy's mind. 

Seeing Hyunjin after so long. 

Talking to him by the stairs. 

The hope of a friendship that could flourish between them after all that happened. 

Ryujin's serious, judgmental face when she said, "Can you guys leave? Yeji wants to go home". 

That terrible feeling in Beomgyu's gut. But we weren't even doing anything...  

Hyunjin got up, "I'll take care of it. She's my ex. I know how to deal with her". 

Yeji yelled in the kitchen. 

The tears came pouring down Beomgyu's face, the guilt he felt for causing trouble again. He knew everyone at the party probably thought they were fucking. It was Beomgyu and Hyunjin, after all. They always fucked. 

He remembers the soothing voices of Taehyun and Heeseung calming him. And even Hueningkai, who he met that day.  

Then a loud noise. 

More tears. 

Ryujin shouting for help. 

And then Chaeryeong, owner of the house, with a bloody blanket. 

Beomgyu couldn't stop crying. 

"Beomgyu! For God's sake, this is not your fault!" said Chaeryeong, washing the covering. 

Yeji being taken to the hospital.

The huge scar on her forehead. 

"How did it happen?" someone asked. 

"Seems like she tried to throw the blender at Hyunjin, but it fell on her."

Shit. 

And worst of all. 

He remembers laying down with Hyunjin after his ex was taken to the emergency. 

And he remembers how Hyunjin kissed him. How he said he missed Beomgyu's smell. 

He remembers how he enjoyed it. 

And how they only didn't fuck then and there because Taehyun wouldn't let his best friend go through it all again. 

Thank you, Tae. He thought now, with his eyes closed. 

Beomgyu decided not to go to college. The shame was too much. The pain was unbearable. It's been a week since he last took his medication. Fuck. He shouldn't be so irresponsible. He shouldn't have drunk that much. He shouldn't have gone to that goddamn party. 

As noon approached, Beomgyu remembered he had to go to work. Ten minutes from his house. He just had to go and sit in front of the computer until 5 p.m.. But it was so hard. The song repeated itself over and over again as Beomgyu's thoughts spiraled. 

I'll never be able to have a job where I'll be allowed to take a day off. 

I am a fucking problem. I make my problems everyone else’s.

If I hadn’t called Hyunjin to talk yesterday, Yeji wouldn't have that scar on her face.

I feel like shit. And I can't even rest through the day 'cause I can lose this shitty job.

I'll never be in peace. My life has always been a drama. There's no way I'll be happy even taking medications.

Medications. 

He didn't think. He just looked at the clock showing 12:30, the time he should go to work, and did what he had to do. He checked if Jungwon, his brother, was at home. He wasn't. Good.

Poor Beomgyu. That was not him. That was the bipolar disorder talking. That was the lack of serotonin left because of the alcohol. That was the consequence of a week off of medication. 

He laid on his bed and waited. He didn't write a letter, not even a note. But he thought it would be too selfish leaving without saying anything. So he grabbed his cell phone and texted. 

To: Mom, Dad, Jungwonnie, Taehyun, Heeseung, Yeonjun

I love you. 

And closed his eyes. 

His phone rang, and Yeonjun's photo was on the screen. One they took under terrible lighting inside the car the last time they saw each other. That was a long time ago. 

"Gyu, are you there? What happened?"

His voice was heavy with worry. It's been half a year since they last talked. Beomgyu had already moved on, and so did Yeonjun. But he loved the older one so bad. Yeonjun always said how much she cared about him. And even though he hurt Beomgyu a lot, Beomgyu never once believed he didn't love him. It was just not meant to be. 

"Junnie..." Beomgyu could already feel the effects of his actions. "I- I tried to kill myself." He was sobbing. 

"Are you at home?"

No answer. 

"Beomgyu, answer me. Are you at home?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Don't move."

With that, he hung up the phone. Yeonjun worked in the same building as Beomgyu. It wouldn't take him long.

In ten minutes he was in Beomgyu's bedroom, followed by a crying Jungwon who just arrived and realized what happened. 

Beomgyu was laid on the ground, almost fainting. He was sweating, feeling nauseous. 

"Gyu, c'mon, let me take you to the bathroom." Yeonjun pleaded. 

The taller boy and Jungwon carried Beomgyu and took him to the bathroom. "Jungwon, go get some eggs. We need to make him vomit". The boy ran to the kitchen and got back in a second. Yeonjun cracked a raw egg and made Beomgyu swallow it. Nothing happened, so he gave him another one. The boy cried and complained but took it all. And then he vomited. 

By that time, Mr. and Mrs. Choi got home, desperate. It was the second time their firstborn had tried it. They swallowed their tears and focused on taking Beomgyu to the hospital. The first time, he survived without anyone's help, thank God. But now it was more dangerous. Now he already knew how not to fail. 

They thanked Yeonjun for coming and rescuing their son and asked him to rest because now it was their job to do it. They would call him later to keep him updated. Both parents got into the car, Mrs. Choi carrying Beomgyu in the back seat. 

The last words he heard were his mother's prayers. 

----

When he woke up, it was already late afternoon. He was in an emergency unit, with a tube entering one of his nostrils, going down his throat. And a black, thick, cold liquid ran in it right into his stomach. 

"Hey, babe. How do you feel?" his mom asked when she saw him opening his eyes. 

"Sleepy..." the words almost didn't come out, and he felt the tube moving inside his guts. 

"Oh, that must be the morphine. They had to sedate you to put the nasogastric tube." Mrs. Choi spoke rather calmly to someone who had just witnessed their son trying to end his life. Sometimes Beomgyu hated this fierce façade of his mom. But he couldn't hate her. He knew she did what she had to do to survive. 

"Oh... and what is this?" He pointed to the six cups on the table. Only one of them was filled with the black liquid. The rest, he assumed, must be in his body. 

"Activated charcoal to detoxify your stomach. Tomorrow your poop will be black", she tried to smile. Beomgyu laughed, even with the constant discomfort of the tube scratching his throat. He sighed, and looked at his mom. 

"Hey, mom... I'm sorry." He lowered his head like a child does when they know they did something wrong. 

"Don't say that. I am sorry. I should have taken more care of you, kid."

"You already do a great job, mom. It is not your fault."

And then he went back to sleep. 

Some hours later, woke up. Mrs. Choi had her eyes closed and murmured a prayer for her son. Beomgyu waited for her to finish. 

"Mom..."

"Say, sweetie."

"I promise I'll never overlook my medicine again, okay?"

She gave him a fond smile. And Beomgyu let the anesthesia do its work and lull him back to sleep. 

[tiredandtiredandredundant]

I posted 2,631 times in 2022

91 posts created (3%)

2,540 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@philsmeatylegss

@nightimestar

@gay-jewish-bucky

@yearningsea

@heartstopperdnp

I tagged 1,138 of my posts in 2022

#mcr - 172 posts

#my chemical romance - 150 posts

#dan and phil - 123 posts

#favorites - 123 posts

#dnp - 122 posts

#gerard way - 85 posts

#spn - 42 posts

#ryan ross - 40 posts

#heartstopper - 38 posts

#p!atd - 34 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#theatre kid: no one cares that you’ve seen les mis six times. also please stop listening to dear evan hansen oh my god. i can’t stand you

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I start my day the way everyone does! Wake up, get out of bed, use the bathroom, brush my teeth, read 2 hours worth of fanfiction, get out of bed the second time, get dressed, etc.

109 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

tyler oakley has a mohawk?? i don't know what to do with this information besides post it over here so have this

237 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#3

Anyone else think that dan and phil are definitely gonna run on stage and kiss, holding the gay flag during the when we were young fest?

311 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#2

why are so many mitzvot about grapes.

464 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Dan: phil got really fucking drunk, hooked up with a girl, smoked a cigarette, and didn't come home till 3 am

Phil: dan hates animAL CROSSING

3,704 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[the-lazyyy-artist]

I got catfished by an ROTG role-player here on Tumblr.

Just a wacky silly experience I had here on Tumblr YEARS ago, and every time it comes to mind, I feel so embarrassed of myself.

The year was 2012 or 2013, and it was when the Rise of The Guardian craze was rising on Tumblr. I was fairly new to the fandom and on this website and found the most engaging RP blog. I think the handle was playingwiththeguardians or something and the user behind the blog was very entertaining and did their best to respond to every ask, despite it being anon or not.

Of course, I tried to engage with the blog, and it easily became the highlight of my day every time I came home from school and checked their response. Eventually, I found out that he was a guy, and he had a twin sister. He would post personal pictures and shenanigans, and I adored that. I also told him about myself because, ya know, as a teenager with raging emotions (mostly loneliness), I wanted to connect with him on a personal level, too. I also kinda want him to remember me.

Then one day, he asked for my number. He sent a personal message here on Tumblr, and as naive as I can be, I gave my number. We'd text all day, he'd call, and I was so giddy and happy that he was giving me this attention. It was magic. His twin sister also started talking to me using his phone number, and I was so honored.

And then it stopped. and I got sad. Kinda accepted that maybe it wasn't meant to be.

Years later, I reconnected with his twin sister on Twitter and eventually asked about him. All she told me was that he doesn't have any social media accounts, and he's usually very busy because he took up an engineering course. So, it was just the both of us who caught up about life and relationships.

It was then I started to stalk his twin sister on Facebook and Twitter and there was no trace of him, even on the older photos. I found that very intriguing because if he existed, why wasn't he on any pictures?

Then, I realized that maybe "he" never existed.

I mentally listed all the red flags I missed before:

"He" told me that "he" and his twin sister were identical twins. Identical twins are always of the same gender. The fuck???

There was this time that it was their birthdays, and "he" got drunk, so the twin sister texted me instead. I found that very weird before.

No pictures??? Why?? And the only picture "he" has was in his blog. "He" always wore a beanie in every single one.

When "his" blog disappeared, his twin sister created a blog. I asked her why he stopped. All she told me was that he became very busy.

I cannot believe that it happened to me. I thought about confronting her (it's her now since "he" never existed), but I still don't have the guts. It's just a distant memory of happiness and confusion now. Was I really craving acceptance and attention when I was younger? Yes, and I realized that getting that attention from an internet stranger who lives in the same country as you wasn't the best idea.

I feel so bad about my teenage self.

God.

[iamearthangeluk]

it's been a while

i'll be turning 30 this year. i haven't been on tumblr since i was 15 and it is satiating the inner child in me. maybe i'll correct my grammar btu who fucking cares. it feels so good to be here again.

hello tumblr. you're going to like having me around again.

i've come back with 14 years of wisdom, of pain and beauty. i've needed this space to vent to you and God it feels good.

i don't care where anything goes, and unlike most of this fucked up world, i don't care if anyone reads it or cares about it. it's just me and you now. hello again.

i feel drunk it feels so good. hearing the tapping on the keys. the words spilling out of me as if no thought is ever needed. like i'm possessed by the spirit of art.

Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth." - Pablo Picasso

should i add a hashtag? no that's what the new plague of capitalism wants me to do. it wants me to suckle on the teet of recognition, of searching and yearning for others like me. there is no one like me and i will never find them. and i love it. i love being so disgustingly misunderstood and so rejected. so ignored. so hated and hurt. i'm so thankful for that pain. i'm so grateful for the art. i'm here again. i've missed you.

when i was 15 i couldn't give too shits if anyone saw what i wrote, if they even got a like. and here we are in this world of "look at me, look at me" it makes me sick.

i'm going to hide here for a while. just me and the words i won't speak just yet because how can i speak the same words i write? you can't do that. it's impossible. if i read this aloud it would take away the point of it all. it would become mundane and lifeless. much like the shit spilling out of social media. much like the brainwashing of others that make them create daily posts, add hashtags and strip ourselves bare of any reality of ourselves. who is even real anymore? am i?

i've delved into the darkness so many times and many have said it's not healthy. go get therapy. never will i ever. i will never shave away the pain because i like the way it feels. i like to stare it straight in the face like a friend i fucking love to hate. like a persons face you can't stop staring at because the feeling it gives you is so beautifully disturbing. because i know, deep down, i want to. it's a part of being human.

i can scream what i want from the rooftops in here.

[my space key is squeaking joyfully]

anything is art these days - the days of Pablo Picasso and Frida Kahlo are well and truly over but art does live on. it lives on in the people that will never be found. people that are stifled and lost. people like me. maybe i will be famous after i die. maybe my words will be found amongst the data that keeps on piling up. when will it all break down?

i write in notebooks, on paper, i paint on canvas. i sing to myself. i bake. i smoke cigarettes and walk around naked. my body is art. my sheer existence. my beingness.

no one will innerstand my inner desires that play with my inner demons. i am with God and He innerstands my need for pain, for darkness, for demons. He accepts me as i am because he knows the only harm i can cause is to myself but don't worry God, i'm here to play, to live. although many times in my life, i wanted nothing more than to cease to exist, for Him to take it all away, even the spirit that connects me to the ether. i wanted someone to care, to love me, to see my dead body and to regret everything they ever did to me. but now i couldn't give a shit. i wish there was a harder swear word to encapsulate my feeling towards not wanting attention. not wanting love or acceptance. i don't want to be seen. i want to be left alone with all my personalities to create and to laugh alone in the open space. to scream at the horizon. i am free in this moment. who knows how long it will last but i'm here.

welcome back to the living.

[moon-of-curses]

ok so this is the drunkest I have ever been (iirc) and also the most alive I have ever felt and I’m probably going to hate myself in the morning but it won’t be more than I usually hate myself so I don’t care.

I have a girlfriend, and I’ve had one for like a month, and she’s so fucking cool and they helped me process the intrusive thoughts (spurred on by holding a literal revolver, thank you texas) and oh my god she’s so cool and we are so gay.

we’re gay! I’m gay! I am a lesbian! a homosexual! gay! oh my god this is the best night of my life! it was a pretty fucked up evening (see: intrusive thoughts + revolver, I promise that’s relevant but I’m don’t really wanna get into it) but tonight? I’m fuckin living it up!

christ I have to actively stop myself from becoming a horror writer in the discord servers I’m in with the amount of detailed prose that’s (Imma be honest) pretty much stolen from another tumblr post about the night sky against the ocean and how primally terrifying that is. lord I’m drunk.

three shots of tequila and six shots of rum; I am fucked up tonight. and I am loving every second of it. oh my god it takes so much concentrated effort not to say something I’ll regret and like fucking doxx myself or some shit. logically I should delete that shit about the night sky but even sober I’m all tricky and clever and coy and shit. I’m not gonna say anything more about where I live than I usually do. and even then it’s not like anyone even pays enough attention to this blog to figure it out.

by the time I’m a big enough name on tumblr for people to give a shit I will have long since moved out of this shithole. I probably will have moved out of texas by then. maybe seattle. I hear that’s a good place for friendly neighborhood anarchists to live, thought I’ll have to do more research. man fuck texas. all my homies hate texas. and fuck greg abbot too. y’know what, just fuck the government. I said it on my memey ass sideblog, I’ve probably said it here; fuck the government. fuck all governments! fuck anyone who would deny anyone their rights as a human being! I hate this world and the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I hate it more than myself!

fuck I’m drunk. I am filled with so much love and hatred for my fellow human (the best examples of which being my girlfriend and nazis respectively) and I’m not gonna let anyone take that away from me again.

oh my god you have no idea how hard it is not to self harm rn. it is in like, every impulse. but, I resisted impulse (or intrusive thoughts, I’m not sober enough to tell the difference), so fucking hell if I’m giving up now.

no one’s going to see this, and that’s okay.

I told my girlfriend to go to sleep and put her needs first, so Imma be honest, I’m mostly writing this as a way to keep myself occupied until I sober the hell up.

AHAHAHAH!

my anarchism sideblog that I abandoned weeks ago is getting notes! that’s fuckin hilarious! good on ya for paying attention to it I guess!

oh dear lord I’m rambling, but see, last time I rambled on tumblr it was in tags! and I’m not using tags on this post (save for one, for archiving purposes)! that’s, like, progress or some shit! or maybe just the gradual decay of my ability to give a shit!! who knows? who cares! I said the first time that I wanted to get drunk and fuck my best friend but you know what she’s my girlfriend now and you know what? I’m fuckin down for it! sex!! oh my fucking got I can’t wait! oh fucking hell I’m going to regret airing all this out in public but fuck you it’s barely fucking public and no one gives a shit about my life (least of all my parents) except for my girlfriend and oh my god I have a girlfriend! this is amazing!

uh... fuck you, fuck the gevernment, and fuck. tennis!

I don’t even know that reference

[screechingmelon]

ATTACK ON TITAN MEN, drunk (crack) sex headcannons

NOTE — first post and i was on crack. a possible part two with the rest that i didn't include but if you want actual sexy writing go check out @ambrodias

SUMMARY — aot men drunk and intoxicated and very horny. this is just crack and sex... that's it

CHARACTERS — eren jaegar, armin arlert, jean kirschtein, connie springer, marco bodt, reiner braun, bertholdt hoover

#TAGS — hi @ambrodias, happy now? XD

NOTES & REBLOGS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED!

ATTACK ON TITAN - MODERN AU!

EREN JAEGAR

- "wait, no. i can't have sex with you, i have a girlfriend.", "i am your girlfriend"

- didn't hesitate to bend you over

- sloppy sex

- "babe i'm tired, can we sleep?" in the middle of fucking.

- he accidentally came inside you

- next day while he was with out with the gang you received a text, "did i plant a demon baby inside by accident last night?"

ARMIN ARLERT

- doesn't know where to put his fingers and dick in

- gets soft even before having his dick in you.

- falls asleep

- "baby, hey, can we get some tea?"

- wakes you up 10 minutes later energetic as fuck bc wanted tea and has a whole encyclopedia ready to read like it's a bed time story

JEAN KIRSCHTEIN

- wants to be ridden

- cums 5 seconds in

- "that was so good" he says and you're just there horny

- too sensitive to carry on so he sleeps

- wakes up thinking it was a dream, horrified to find out he lasted only for a few seconds while drunk

CONNIE SPRINGER

- gets so much fucking leg cramps

- can't really tell if he's in pain or in pleasure by the sound he's making

- "oH gOD, FUCKIN HELL. WAIT nO i cAN DO THIS— BUT I CAN'T LOSE YOU LEFTY" yeah, his right leg was the one that got cramps

- thought his right leg almost got paralyzed

- "it was good while it lasted lefty, but it was for a good cause", "babe that's your right leg", "what"

MARCO BODT

- can't speak a sentence, keeps stuttering while fucking

- wants you to sit on his face and you did; it was a bad idea

- "keep going" he says, and then he's unconscious 2 mins later

- you thought you killed him.

- "even if i did die, it would've been a worthy death" as jean would say, marco took it literally and almost to his grave

REINER BRAUN

- was very fuckin' sexy tbh

- you both were going at it

- "such a good boy for me" you said

- he started crying, please help him

- "wait, don't stop. i-i'm just emotional" while moaning and proceeded to ask if he was being good or if you were proud of him.

- just— just please praise the poor man

BERTHOLDT HOOVER

- was very adamant about having sex, it was a nice change bc it was usually you who initiated

- he started off dominant

- a minute in, he starts getting worried; "am i in?"

- "yes, yes you're in."

- "i got in the club?" you were now just confused

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