#god this whole thing drives me so crazy because like
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he could absolutely break my heart eventually. and i genuinely couldn’t care less
#god this whole thing drives me so crazy because like#i’m not constantly thinking abt when it’s going to be over and how it’ll end and all that like i usually do#of course i overthink and shit sometimes but most of the time#i’m able to remember the things he’s Actually said and done for me and not the things i’m scared he Could say. and i feel better#maybe i’ve said this before but recently i was trying to recall if there was even a single moment where he’d ever like#hurt my feelings or made me feel bad no matter how intentionally or unintentionally it was#and i literally couldn’t think of a single moment where he’d ever hurt me#so of course because i’m me i have to acknowledge there’s a Chance he could hurt me#and i like him so much that if that did happen it would probably really really upset me#but honestly i’m at a place right now where i don’t Care. and it’s crazy#i don’t care if he Could possibly break my heart eventually#because all i’m able to think of everytime i’m with him or talking to him is just how fucking great it feels#i can’t tell if this is any actual personal growth in me because just like#in general i don’t think i’ve ever felt this way abt anyone. it’s so dire#it’s so DIRE.#okay i’ll be quiet now but i’m just like#i don’t know. i just don’t feel negatively abt our relationship at all it just feels so Nice#not even any lingering paranoia can get in the way of how strongly i feel abt it#even if he’s not interested in me romantically whatsoever#he’s still one of the greatest and most supportive friends i’ve ever had and it’s. it’s really good#okay now i’m done
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