#god this took FOREVER to write

[fuckingstrange]

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Trust him.

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WARNINGS: Reader has trust issues, HURT/COMFORT + SMUT, sweet smut tho, praising, pet names ("baby", "good boy"), cumming early, sexual undressing(?), Luke doesn't cum in this but he will in the next one, kinda non-beta read

WORDS: 1,170+

PAIRING: Luke Alvez x M!Reader

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·a/n - Comments/Reblogs are appreciated! I love feedback!

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You follow Luke's guidance, letting him push you onto your back, surprising yourself with how close you're letting him - emotionally and physically. You feel him slot between your legs, his lips brushing against yours delicately, as if he was making sure to treat you with care, as if you were something fragile. In his mind — You are fragile. You own a heart shattered enough to cut somebody's foot if they were to step on it. The sight of blood would be anything but foreign to you.

His skilled fingers start working on your shirt, pausing about halfway down the line of tan buttons. “Are you okay with his?” You hear him ask, though your mind is so clouded with anxiety and fear you're unsure you can even verbally respond without betraying yourself in some way.

You don't know if you're okay with it. You have to ask yourself if you truly want this, though end up giving yourself no better answer than when he asked. You love him, and you think he loves you. But with how many times somebody has told you that then ended up hurting you, you're not sure if he's being truthful.

Luke notices the empty stare you have, the slight tremble in your hands as you think of the worst that could happen. You've trusted him enough that you stayed in this relationship with him for seven, coming up on eight months now. You've let him in enough that he can tell the nod of approval you gave him was forced. He leans back, looking down at you. “Baby.. we don't have to do this if you don't want to, y'know?” He says while rubbing your hip, the touch meant to be soothing.

You prop yourself up on your elbows, looking him up and down as you conjure up reasons to trust him this deeply. Your mind runs in circles for a few minutes, your gaze directed at his face, trying to read any hidden meanings behind him trying to get in your pants. Your heart begs for the deep connection, wanting nothing more than to be his and have him be yours. Your fear-riddled mind has no chance against your heart, but it does have you whispering “Spare my heart, please,” as you pull him down to meet your lips again.

Luke's own heart aches at your plea, his hand coming up to cup the back of your head as he deepens the kiss. He can't help but mumble soft words of reassurance, saying, “I'll heal that heart of yours” before he lets his tounge slip between your lips.

The kiss is gentle. It's soft and slow. Something you're not used to with past relationships. You lean into it, sighing quietly and falling to your back, this time bringing him with you, letting the weight of his body press you down into the couch.

His hand moves up your side until it finds your hands, your fingers interlacing as he presses it down next to your head. Luke definitely isn't pinning you, scared that you're too mentally fragile to be restrained in any way shape or form during sex, he's simply holding your hand for comfort. You feel him give it a soft squeeze, which you do back to reassure him as well.

Luke adjusts himself, and for a minute you think he's simply straddling your leg before you feel his knee press up against your crotch. Your eyes immediately open from the foreign feeling of it, a boyish moan slipping past your lips and drowning in the kiss when he starts rocking his knee against you. You squeeze his hand tight, feeling your heart begin to pound in your chest while your cock hardens in your boxers. You start to squirm beneath him when his lips find their way to your jawline.

You give him a mix of a moan and a whine as you start rocking your hips to meet his knee, the movement slow but feeling good anyways. Heat rises to your cheeks when you hear him mumble a praise, the words “good boy” and “keep going” slipping from Luke's lips before he can even think about it. You pull your hand away from his to wrap your arms around him, pulling him even closer than he was before. He takes the opportunity to resume unbuttoning your shirt, working off the other half of buttons he hadn't before. You feel your cheeks burning, feeling on fire from being so exposed to him.

You close your eyes, not sure if you're ready to see the look on his face when he sees you like this. He works off the last button, the loose brown material sliding off and getting splayed out on the couch beneath you. You feel him start to pull off of you, letting your arms drop so he can sit up. You feel his eyes on you, making your breath hitch as you wait for some kind of degrading moment. But nothing comes. The silence hurts. More than if he were to be calling you ugly. His knee has stopped moving, your hips protesting the absence of friction with a rut against him.

Luke stares at you like you're a work of art, his hand coming up to ghost along the bare skin of your waist, causing you to flinch and whine. He soothes you with a kiss, his tounge finding it's way into your mouth as he resumes the movement of his knee, grinding it against your hardened cock.

“You're gorgeous. So.. fine.” He mumbles against your lips, his hands resting on your chest so he can focus on providing you with more friction, more pressure against your aching cock.

You can barely hear him with how much you're paying attention to the feeling of it all. His knee moving against you, his tounge brushing over yours, his hands on your chest causing goosebumps to rise. You whimper as your hips buck involuntarily, your hands shooting to grasp at his sides, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt. You have to pull back from the kiss, croaking out a weak warning of “If you don't- if- I'm gonna-”, only to cut yourself off with a pant or whine each time.

Luke seems to take this as a challenge, hearing you're about to cum just from his knee alone makes him want to moan. His hands slide from your chest to your hips, purposely brushing over your nipples to earn a gasp. He grabs your hips and starts guiding their movement, making sure you don't have to lift a finger to get what you need. The second he hears you start to beg, involuntary “please”’s falling from your lips, he knows you're just about there. He makes sure to keep the same slow but deep rhythm of his knee, not wanting to pull you off the path to your orgasm.

He encourages you almost absent-mindedly, praising you for each noise that you let out, praising you for each drop of cum that soaks into your boxers. His knee grinds into you even as you let go, making you moan louder than you ever thought you'd be comfortable with. You squirm, you moan, you cry, as you cum. But you find yourself not caring one bit. Because Luke is the one making you do it.

[itsgirlcraft]

I just spent 2 hours trying to explain my RQ Roleswap AU for my last Stevetember post haha-

Buttttt ofc I rambled so much it got confusing yayyy

SO!! Here's the uncut version! I have simply Too Much Lore and Even More Time! I hadn't even gotten into how he found out abt the multiverse through Shattered Time or TFC's relation with the roleswap or the multiverse curse and the roleswap! There's So Much! (Pain. I will never be able to explain it all)

This AU is more or less about changing unrecognizably, healing, fate/repeating history, and loops. It all begins after Sabre has spent years alone with Origin, teaching him and growing together. Sabre had changed over the years - into his god form, with wings and animalistic legs and antlers upon which crystals grow. His first god form is mostly green and white. Technically, he has 3 god forms and 3 "mortal" forms.

Origin had started creating the Steves, and becoming an independent young man. Sabre knew he wouldn't need his guidance much longer, and he couldn't reveal his true identity to the first Steves. But he hoped, maybe, something may come along and take him away. The loop, age, something. Nothing came - he realized he had to do the leaving. He worked towards creating a portal, which would close behind him. Somewhere unknown.

He wound up in the RQ Roleswap timeline - in episode 32, aka the pig episode. So already partway through the first season. He retained all his memories - and so he knew what had to do. He had to change history, and change everyone's fate. Most importantly...Orange Steve's. He can't let this all fall down again. He had to unite them all, before bringing about any heroes. He had to support everyone, give everyone room to breathe, treat them all with the love they may not deserve, but that they need. He needed to greet the world with open arms.

Heh, Epic reference :>

Anyways, yeah. That's the basis of the AU - Sabre uses his memories/experience (and carefully constructed journals) to change fate and lead with love. He goes on to warn the Steves of the future, their fates, and their choice to follow it or not. Despite his new outlook on life, he knows he isn't perfect - his past haunts his every calculated move. He tries to just experience reality as it is, but slowly that alienates him in a different way - people are so surprised to hear his thoughts behind all of it that many look up to him. All he really wants is to give everyone a choice in their fate - even his enemies - and appreciate what he has, and had, in this moment. And that mindful, kind mindset puts some people in awe.

Even before he regained his god form, Sabre was already put on a pedestal he tried to jump off of repeatedly. It's not to seem humble - he genuinely doesn't want this power, this gift of second life. But he'd never waste it - he can't let them fall again. One of his greatest accomplishments, in his opinion, is his ever-growing library of stories. Of journals others have given him, his own observations and notes, and of history books detailing stories long gone. He wants to tell everyone's story, and his library is the most important thing to him (in that sense). A daring dream that he has witnessed so much success with. He takes no interest in censorship or revealing secrets, only to make sure they are remembered. Every one of them, every person he meets, every path he has followed.

Near the end of the "main plot" of the roleswap timeline, Sabre locked up Origin (who is in TFC's role) in more chains, refusing to listen to his call. But, eventually, he starts to drift back to the past...if only his old friends could see he's finally saved them, finally been a real hero for once.

Soul and Corruption, the swaps of Time and Elemental, decide to work together to give Sabre a gift: a portal, that they hope takes Sabre back to his home timeline. He's so so excited! A chance to show that he didn't waste his new life! It lands him in the middle of the Rainbow Kingdom just before og Soul/Corrupt attempted a seige with the Darkness, aka episode 144. It takes some convincing to get RQ Light to let them stay - as not only did Soul/Corrupt come with, but so did Orange Steve, who became the 3rd hero....Void.

In the roleswap timeline, Sabre looks more like Shadow Sabre, while Crystal Sabre (the Shabre of the timeline) is brightly colored. The crystals replace the darkness, being amalgamations of infectious gems, so bright they can set things ablaze with sunlight. Sigils are the new crystals, being darker colored just like the main color Steves. In this world, the shadows are comforting and kind, while the light is deadly and violent. (Though no, they aren't really nocturnal...I might change that eventually). Naturally, the Steves have dark skin tones and eyes, looking all too much like the darkness infected. Similar can be said of the og timeline in comparison to the Crystal infected, though ofc the infections are a lot more frightening. You could consider it to be the first stage of infection, I guess.

In the roleswap timeline, there is a specific set of swaps, that change how Sabre is recieved in the og timeline. It goes like this: Prof. Red, Rainbow Red. Void, Rainbow. Soul/Corrupt, Time/Elemental. Assistant Steve, Hypno. The First Curse, Origin. Galaxy, Nightmare. Ultra, Chaos. Faceless, Great Librarian, Ghost. Shadow, Sabre. Sigils, Crystals, Darkness. (For trios, just move them one to the right, that's the role they take on)

This goes beyond Rainbow Quest itself. Twisted Rainbow and Steve Legends are affected, too. There are two TR roleswap timelines. The first one, which TR Shadow/Elite ends up in, only switches he and Sabre's roles. The second one is a semi-shitpost idea turned canon and is completely wild. Btw, the first name takes the second name's role. It goes: Shadow, The Great One. TFC, Sabre. Sabre, Twisted. Twisted, M. Prof. Red, Hypno. M, TFC. (Yeah, that last one was intentionally an insane choice). TR is also the only universe whose roleswap still has normal Color Steves, simply because Twisted/Darkness is already an important motif/split as it is.

Sabre's, the main, FIRST Sabre's, story is split into several acts. Act 1: changing fate, where he repeats RQ with a new ending. Act 2: old friends, where he returns to the og timeline, and defeats TFC/swap Origin with his newest god form. Act 3: reliving history, where Sabre mentors Colle through his swapped timeline. Act 4: domain expansion, in which Sabre discovers the multiverse and is determined to save EVERYONE from evil. Act 5: returning home, in which Sabre, now caring for a whole multiverse, finally creates a portal to Earth, but has he changed too much? Act 6: doubled over, another shitpost idea made canon, in which Sabre gets stuck in a version of the RQ timeline which has both the og and swap versions, where the world is changing quickly, mimicking the og story, and where Sabre's desire to give everyone a choice in fate is tested.

I've had the AU for awhile before I listened to Epic, but the musical has inspired me to create for it, as well as consider the overarching themes!! So the first drawing, the dual timeline "mortal" form, is basically Sabre at the end of the au, as he becomes a fused form of the swap and og timelines' versions of himself. His crazy outfit is made of bits and bobs from people he meets, sometimes he adds stuff inspired by people around him, but a lot is just gifts he's recieved. He has a goopy Darkness horn and a sharp crystal horn, and a fluffy colorful tail and a sharp black tail. His eyes depict his former infection of crystals/darkness.

Drawing 2, in the upper right with Sabre's arms out in front of him, is meant to be him midway thru act 1. Where he willingly infects himself with the crystals, which are like the darkness, in order to be able to fight Rainbow (who created the infectious crystals, aka the Void of the timeline). Crystal/Shadow Sabres would probably be saying the lyrics to him.

Drawing 3, with the big barrier sigil over Sabre and the Steves, is based on act 6 of the au. He gets the Hypbo variants to help him create the barrier sigil to keep the Steves from changing unexpectedly due to the strange nature of their timeline (its Complicated, but the world is basically changing in accordance w/ the og timeline w/o anyone doing anything). This barrier, as well as the smaller, jewelry-based variants, protects them from time/space basically going by quickly. However, Sabre's insistence on keeping everyone from changing can be seen as almost manipulative, which is why he's saying the lyrics there. He can't give them the choice, not when the world is changing them without them actually doing anything. But by keeping them inside the barrier, he's refusing to let them experience it. So uh...yeah. Complicated.

Also...here, have this drawing of god form Sabre. Enjoy. I guess.

[carbonateddelusion]

Never underestimate my ability to like characters that aren’t super important <3

Anyways how did Mari and Harrison meet you think? And who initiated things?

The air in the bar is stifling, filled with the scent of cheap cigarettes and alcohol, and the humming white noise of chatter surrounds you. People everywhere are talking, dancing, singing, laughing, fighting, screaming, living. Living. Oh, how you want to live.

Nursing your drink, your eyes scan across the floor and catch on a glowing something. Your fuzzy mind takes a moment to comprehend what it is- a person. Someone staring back at you.

Their eyes are deep, with dark sclera and piercingly white pupils, a yawning chasm that threatens to pull you in. Their lips play into a smile, showing off a set of fangs. They're smiling at... you. At you. Oh, God, they're staring at you. What do you do? What do you do? Your eyes dart across the room. You find yourself unable to settle on anything in particular.

"Hey," breathes a deep, accented voice. They're beside you now. You jump.

"Aw, I'm sorry- did I scare you, handsome?" A small hand cuts the distance between you two as she reaches out to soothe your arm. You pull away. Your fear is palpable. Why is someone so pretty talking to YOU?

Something glides across your leg, wrapping utself around you as if to pull you in. "What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?"

The question rings in your ears. What ARE you doing here? What did you think you'd accomplish by getting out of your comfort zone? The question weighs heavy on your mind.

But she smells like blackberries and spices; her plump lips glisten in the faint light of her nose. And her tail is oh so soft against your thigh.

"I don't know."

"You're funny," she snorts, claws gently touching her soft chest. "I like that in a man. My name's Mariposa."

"Harrison," you breathe. The words flow out of you seamlessly, as if talking to her were second nature.

"Nice to meet you, Harrison."

[butteredvee]

Some days ago, I bought a box of snack foods from South Korea because I thought trying them would be fun. Today, that box arrived, and I tried all the goodies inside. There were ten snacks in the box, and I will now share my "rigorous" reviews of each one, rating them from 1 to 20.

Starting off with the first snack:

First of all, I can't read this text. Fortunately, this box came with a booklet that explains the snacks before you eat them so you know what to expect before you eat.

According to said booklet (which I will be referring to throughout this post), this is a blueberry-flavored sweet and sour candy that is also fizzy? Maybe 'cause it's soda? Dunno.

The texture of it is like an American Starburst: chewy at first, then softens more as you chew. The taste is blueberry-y, but also pretty tart, more tart than said Starbursts are. I like that - I tend to prefer tart candies, and this is right up my alley.

Overall, very tasty, would buy for myself, 17/20

Next up:

At first glance, this is very Moon Pie-esque. However, it is much smaller than a real Moon Pie, and it's got some brown stuff in the marshmallow filling.

The texture is what you'd expect out of this, its very similar to a Moon Pie. The taste is also similar, except for that brown stuff. It isn't chocolate, but a sugary tea substance that adds that flavor into the snack, which I appreciate to differentiate this from a "normal" Moon Pie.

Overall, pretty good, 16/20

Next up:

Now, I've seen these before, in a years-old video of the Smosh guys tasting Korean food that I've watched many times over my life. However, I had no idea if I'd like them until I tried them.

According to the booklet, they are "hot & sweet wheat and rice snacks," which after tasting them feels like an accurate descriptor.

At first, they only taste sweet, like they are coated in a glaze or something. Then, after you chew them for a bit, the spice comes in, but it's a very mild spice. The flavor of pepper is nonexistent as well, leading to a simple yet interesting snack. I like these, even if I'd rather have something salty.

Overall, surprisingly good, 15/20

Next up:

These look like peach gummies. The booklet says they're peach-flavored gummies. Gee, I wonder what this will taste like?

Now, I'm not a huge fan of peaches or peach-flavored stuff, but that did not prevent me from giving these a fair shake.

I mean, look how cute these are!

Eating them yields a shocking discovery: they're peach-flavored.

Joking aside, the gummies' texture surprised me. Instead of being a solid gummy, the inside is less dense than the outside, leading to the sensation of crushing the inside part before breaking through the outside. It's interesting, and single-handedly elevates these above the peach rings my dad loves.

Overall interesting, but not my fave because peach, 14.5/20

(peach rings are a 12/20 from me)

Next up:

I'm a huge fan of the combination of chocolate and hazelnut, so I was immediately excited to try these.

The booklet does say that these are apparently best out of the fridge and with milk, but I didn't try these like that because I was impatient. (and also didn't read that until just now) Though, I can see why that's the case.

The filling has a taste that reminds me of Kinder's hazelnut creme fillings. It's more hazelnut than chocolate. The wafer is fine, nothing special, just a good container for the filling.

Overall, pretty good, but I think the Pirouette wafers are better, 15.5/20

Next up:

Okay, these are crystal clear as to what they are. "more delicious"? Gee I hope so.

They taste like sweet and like butter, just as the package says. I dunno if the sweet flavor is actually honey, but something about it and the butter flavor of these pretzels tastes off to me. The more I ate them, the more I felt that something was off.

Overall, not horrible, but not good either, 9/20

Next up:

This snack is bulgogi flavored, and the booklet says that "bulgogi" is a dish from South Korea made with thin meat strips.

Inside, I find the noodles and seasoning packet.

The booklet says that these need to be prepared a bit, by A) crushing the noods to little pieces, B) sprinkling the seasoning on the noodles, and C) Shaking the bag to distribute the seasoning to all the noodle pieces.

That was a fun process, and this was the result:

Unfortunately, the fun ended when I tasted this.

Oh. My. God. The flavor of the seasoning is HORRID. It's nothing like meat or anything I enjoy. It's got a vegetal sweetness (which is my least favorite flavor of all time) and a clove-like flavor? I dunno, there's nothing else I can describe about the flavor, other than that I hated it.

I like the concept, though. I think I'd enjoy eating snack noodles like this with a different seasoning that actually tasted good.

Overall, good concept ruined by shit flavor, 4/20

Next up:

The booklet says that churros are a popular street food in South Korea. It also says that these are cinnamon-sugar flavored snacks, so I was sure I'd like these.

Before trying them, though, I noticed that the way they opened was interesting; the seams are at the sides of the bag, and you tear it open across the top like this:

Otherwise, they taste like you'd expect. Cinnamon-y and sugary, with a nice crunch.

The booklet suggests eating these with milk, and that'd probably be good, but I think these are great as-is.

Overall, better than Sweetos, 17.5/20

Next up:

Sandwich cookies with strawberry creme. I'm not the biggest fan of strawberry-flavored things either, but like the rest of these things, I wanted to give these a fair shot.

There's only six sandwiches, separated into two packages, but they're also a bit bigger than an Oreo.

They went light on the cream compared to the Oreo, which led to the cream being drowned out a bit by the cookie. However, maybe that was a good thing, because the texture of these is delightful.

When you bite these, the cookie just crumbles under your teeth and feels like pushing your hands into dry sand. Dunno if that conveys my experience well enough, but that texture alone elevates these beyond "I'd rather have an Oreo" status.

Overall, there are probably different flavors of creme I could try, 15/20

Last one:

"Chocolate Corns"!!! Anyway, the booklet says that these are made with chocolate, corn, and coconut flakes. They also look like little poops. Their taste, however, is far from poopy.

But their texture stuck out to me first, because it's literally the same as Cheetos Puffs. Like, exactly the same. These are smaller, but that's the only textural difference I can see.

The taste is very chocolatey. It's the same kind of chocolatey as American Cocoa Puffs or Cocoa Pebbles. There's a whisper of coconut flavor, but it's barely noticeable, as are the flakes themselves.

Overall, pretty good, 16.5/20

The Final Ranking of Select South Korean Snacks is thus:

Churroz (17.5/20)

Blueberry Soda Candy (17/20)

Chocolate Corns (16.5/20)

Choco Pie (16/20)

Choco Heim (15.5/20)

Hot/Sweet Snack (15/20)

Strawberry Sandwich Cookies (15/20)

Peach Gummies (14.5/20)

Honey Butter Pretzels (9/20)

Bolgogi Snack Noodles (4/20)

If you read this far, thanks for reading. Hope you found this adventure as interesting as I did.

[north-noire]

we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, but it could be worse.

[bones4thecats]

What If They Were Fathers?

Type of Writing: #5 - Poll Result Characters: Bonten! Manjiro Sano, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Kakucho, and Hajime Kokonoi Name: What If They Were Fathers? Original Poll Link: Here

A/N: The Reader is FEMALE in this, since they're pregnant and whatnot.

WARNING! This contains: Mentions of drugs, overdoses, alcohol addiction, and drug addiction

Spoilers for: Bonten Arc

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✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🍵 It shocked Mikey enough that you still loved him even though he wasn't the same happy-go-lucky boy he was years ago, instead, he grew into a emotionless and dead-appearing individual

🍵 So, when he heard that you were pregnant, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a small bit of love grow inside his now cold-heart

🍵 Mikey was very good when it came to caring for you during your pregnancy, he would have the others go get you things you needed, since he suspected someone was after him and you

🍵 After all, being pregnant slows down a woman from whooping ass

🍵 It was surprising, but, when you went into labor and you were yelling at him as he tried calming you down, Mikey stayed as calm as ever

🍵 He would slightly flinch at the loud screams of pain you let out, and he was honestly kinda scared he may lose you when the gang's doctor rushed you to lay down and stay calm

" Mr. Sano, sir, would you like to hold your baby? "

🍵 Looking behind him, he stared at his first child, a son, and he felt a shimmer of happiness and sadness rush through him at the same time, it reminded him of when he first met Emma, how he cared for her automatically without any reason

🍵 As he held your baby, he let a tear rush down his cheek as you chuckled at his small moment of vulnerability, something he swore he would never show was in-fact showing, he was still human inside

🍵 Now, while your son grew up, Mikey was a hint of a helicopter-father, he runs a very dangerous organization, one that is being hunted by authorities constantly, and he had enough to do when worrying about you, but, his son was so similar to younger him

🍵 The boy would run up to strangers and make them laugh without a care in the world as Mikey would hide himself deeper in a hoodie while you got your son back to you guys

🍵 But, despite many beliefs, he's a decent father

🍵 Mikey would put some things behind and would play with his son, for example, if his son wanted to mess around with some sock puppets and make a story, Mikey would indulge him and mess with him, making his voice deepen and rise for his son's laugh to erupt

🍵 He does have his faults though, as his work can end up making his son mature faster than a child should, or he could end up saying or doing something that upset you, making his son start disconnecting with him

🍵 Overall, he's a 7.5/10 father, he's good in certain situations and bad in others

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🔪 Sanzu and you have known one another for years, planting the first time you ever met nearly 10 years prior to this one

🔪 When he went through the years of torturous addictions, whether it be to alcohol or drugs that he somehow got a hold of through means even you didn't know of, you were always there to pull him away

🔪 Because of those issues, he had no idea why you settled for him of all people, you were so beautiful, you could've gotten with any other member of Bonten, maybe even his own boss

🔪 But, you settled with him, the guy who had nearly overdosed from his drugs and alcohol multiple times

🔪 While pushing those hateful thoughts of himself to the back of his brain, Sanzu had gone through multiple attempts of rehabilitation, and after a few failures and your threat of leaving him, he began taking it seriously, he loves you and he needs you to be there

🔪 It took a while, but, once he made it to your first milestone of a year of sobriety, you gave him a reward, which led to something bigger than expected

🔪 You had gotten pregnant, leaving Sanzu is shock, and his brain nearly, nearly, slipped away to him grabbing a large bottle of whiskey and wine mixed with a large bag of his old drugs

🔪 In the midst of his panic-attack, it took Kakucho's words of affirmation with his boss' assurance of him getting a form of paternity leave to just calm him down

🔪 He takes excellent care of you during your pregnancy, and that carried onto him as a father, to a degree, that is

🔪 When you went into labor, he was panicking badly, he had nearly passed out when you began to scream in pain, and during this mass of chaos, the doctor had to usher Ran and Rindou to take him out of the room

🔪 Hearing your screams of agony stop made his heart sink, what happened? Were you okay? How was his baby? Oh God, what if he lost you and the baby?! How would he live with himself?!

" Mr. Haruchiyo, your wife and daughter are in perfect condition. Would you like to come and see them? " " Yes! I- I mean, yes, please. "

🔪 When he held your daughter for the first time, he swore on his life he would protect you guys from everything, including himself. And, that day, he swore to stay sober for good. No fuck ups this time, he couldn't, no, he wouldn't risk harming his child and his own wife

🔪 Ever since your daughter was born, the rest of Bonten began to hide their deals from your home more often, by orders of Mikey, since, he knew how a traumatizing childhood can affect someone

🔪 Sanzu loves to play with her, for example, at just a few months old until she was around maybe seven years old, he would pick her up and toss her in the air for him to catch

🔪 Unlike Mikey, Sanzu doesn't really fear anyone harming his child, if they were a boy that is, he has a full-fledged belief that boys are far more feared than women, so, whenever his daughter starts talking to a stranger, he glares from behind her to make sure that random guy didn't even attempt touching her

🔪 He definitely tries holding back his tears during her first day of school, or really during any massive part of her life, especially when she graduated and moved out, his baby was so old now... he's getting back pain!

" Dad... I'm just moving across the street in another apartment, don't worry! I'll come see you and Mom whenever I can! Please don't cry! " " I'm not crying about that! Your Mother swat a fly earlier, I feel bad for the fly! "

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

❤️‍🔥 This guy is the definition of husband and father material, that I cannot deny

❤️‍🔥 When you guys started dating, he always had the idea of your future, from marriage to having children, whenever he would come home from a fight all injured, he would ask you if this was what you really wanted

❤️‍🔥 Did you really want to be with him? For crying out loud, he could get possibly killed at any time! This especially set in when you guys lost Izana (I believe that still happens... correct me if I'm wrong!)

❤️‍🔥 It still shocks him to this day on the fact you married him, he worked for Bonten, a gang very well known for their heinous actions, all members, including Kakucho himself, have done horrible things, how could you look him in the eye, nonetheless propose having children?

❤️‍🔥 You really surprise him at every turn, don't you?

❤️‍🔥 He smiled and gave you the thumbs up. Thankfully, it didn't take very long for you to find out you were pregnant, and as your stomach grew, he read many books on parenthood, he couldn't risk his child having a childhood as rough as he did

❤️‍🔥 When you went into labor, he was scared out of his mind, all of a sudden the floor was wet and you were heaving over in pain, leaving him to carry you bridal-style as he ran to Bonten's doctor

" I think they're in labor, Doctor! " " Girls! Get her in the delivery room, stat! "

❤️‍🔥 Hearing you scream in pain made him flinch as Kokonoi and Takeomi tried keeping him from busting down the door to comfort you

❤️‍🔥 Once the doctor came outside of the room and asked for him to come inside, he burst past the man dressed in scrubs and hugged you as you laid on the bed with a blanket in your arms

❤️‍🔥 You hushed him and held up your baby girl's head, and when your husband laid eyes on his daughter, he began to tear up, he really started crying was when she gripped his finger with her tiny fist

❤️‍🔥 You guys really made this? How surprising is this, huh?

❤️‍🔥 As your son grew up, Kakucho adores messing with her hair, he always had his in a buzz-cut as he grew older, so, whenever she asked for him to braid her hair when she was small, he obliged and gave her such a cute hairstyle!

❤️‍🔥 Kakucho obligates his family in first place alongside his work, though, since he was one of the top four people in Bonten, he got quite busy, but, he always tries pushing it all away as best as he could

❤️‍🔥 Thankfully, Mikey was more lenient with that since he knew of Kakucho's family-oriented life

❤️‍🔥 He is definitely one of the best fathers in the Tokyo Revengers Universe, he wants his child to grow up in a world where they feel wanted, and that roots deep with his own childhood

❤️‍🔥 This guy is also very protective, he's lost so many people, his best friend, Izana, for example

❤️‍🔥 Anyone tries harming his daughter, there will be hell to pay.

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

💰 Kokonoi, much like Kakucho, is still surprised that you wanted to be with him, but, he's also surprised that he was still with you... he believed that after the loss of Akane that he would never love again

💰 Thankfully, when you came into his life during the earlier years of Bonten to help with some issues with relations between gangs, Kokonoi began to bond with you

💰 When he asked you to marry him after a few months of dating and a couple weeks of courting, he remembers exactly how you smiled when you confirmed you wanted the same as him

💰 Kokonoi has enough resources to care for his family, so, when you proposed having children, he wasn't very worried about expenses, this guy knows so many ways of making money that even the richest people in the world would be baffled

💰 He was very excited when you found out you were having a baby, nonetheless when it was found out to be twins

💰 During your early months of pregnancy, he would grab everything for female babies and male babies, since the gender was hard to tell until your fifth month

💰 This guy was on cloud nine when notified you were both genders

💰 Now he doesn't have to worry about Mikey being mad that he bought so much male and female items for these babies

💰 Anyways, when you eventually went into labor, Kokonoi was as calm as a butterfly on the outside, while on the inside he was like a swarm of angry geese, thoughts flying faster than the snitch in Harry Potter

💰 He stayed in the room with you, allowing you to squeeze his hand, despite the immense pain you were bringing to his hands, he probably was getting bruises from your hold

💰 When the sounds of your first baby's cries entered his ears, he swore he forgot all about the pain in his hands, but, when his daughter came out just a few minutes later, his heart swooned

💰 If you've seen Friends, you might be familiar when Frank Jr. ran out to the gang and was yelling about his first child's birth, oh yeah, he definitely does that

" Yes! We have the first one down! I cannot believe I have a son... oh God! I have a Hajime Jr.! " " Has your wife even agreed to that name, Kokonoi? " " Nope! "

💰 Kokonoi held his son, whom you had to turn down his ideas of naming him Hajime Jr., and you held your daughter, and you had to turn down him naming her Sanzu-ia, he loves pissing Sanzu off too much...

💰 As your babies grew up, Kokonoi spoiled them beyond belief, and you had to hold him back from doing something stupid, like buying a TV show because his little baby girl wanted to meet a character she loved

💰 While the two grew up, he, much like Sanzu, cries at mass events for them, but, unlike Sanzu, he doesn't try holding himself back from showing his emotions to his children, prompting their embarrassment and you laughing at their antics

" Dad... please stop crying, God you're so embarrassing me... " " I can't! My babies are growing up so fast! Can you believe that just eighteen years ago you're mother was pushing you out of her- " " DAD! "

[godspeedmajortom]

I’m fascinated by how variations of Sea Power's “Want to Be Free (Remix)” provide a musical theme for death and endings that follows Harry and his foils throughout Disco Elysium.

The first place you hear it is as “The Field Autopsy” while inspecting the Hanged Man’s body. It's barely recognizable as the original song, though. It's sluggish and muddy and bilious. The piano melody has been lowered and sustained to an ominous funereal organ and combined with deep strings. A lilting viola line in the lush layers of the original "Want to Be Free" is isolated here and contrasts with the low organ, rising like the stench off a corpse. If you do the autopsy first thing as Kim suggests, Harry – freshly, grotesquely awakened from his apocalyptic bender ��� is not in a much better state than a corpse himself.

The music underscores a visceral scene of death and decay, our introduction to the Hanged Man, the first of Harry's foils. Both Harry and Lely are agents of state-sponsored violence as a cop and mercenary, respectively. They bear similar physical scars from the neglect of the systems they grew up in. They both desperately want to escape the horrorshow of their lives, using drugs and dark fantasies to cope with the terrible things they see and do but finding little more than self-destruction in the nihilism. The Bloated Corpse of a Drunk taking the Hanged Man's place in Harry's first night dream makes their connection explicit: you should be dead, Harry. This may as well have been you.

The next place you hear a variant of "Want to Be Free" is in the washerwoman's shack in the fishing village. “Live With Me” is wistful and melancholic. The gentle piano and cooing vocals evoke the wind and waves on the bay, an escape calling outside the salt-rimed shack. But this is a place of death, or at least its potential, as the return of the high viola from "The Field Autopsy" reminds us. This is where Ruby hid when Harry's arrival made her fear for her life, where she contemplated killing herself if things got even worse. This is where Harry can end up if no one vouches for him at the RCM tribunal finale, where his wounds will grow infected without medical care, where there is little left to do but return to drinking and wait to die.

But true to the song title, the shack also offers Harry the possibility of learning to with himself as he emerges from his bender. Here is a mirror free from the damage and trauma of attempting to destroy himself where he can reflect on who he was and who he wants to become. He can choose to keep or let go of his past coping/defense mechanisms like his facial hair and The Expression. He can choose to embrace or reject the self-defeating fantasy of fascism. The shack marks a midpoint of the game, when the hangover has worn off but before the case is closed. So "Live With Me" scores the balance between potential endings: abandonment or acceptance, relapse or recovery, death or life. Harry breathes in the sea air, breathes it back out, and takes another step.

I didn’t realize this until a recent replay, but “Live With Me” also plays when you visit the Working Class Woman to notify her of her husband’s death. Since this is an optional sidequest, I understand why they didn't create original music for it. But they didn't reuse "Rue de Saint-Gislaine", the song for the rest of the Capeside Apartments (including the Smoker on the Balcony's apartment when you talk to the Sunday Friend). The Working Class Husband is another mirror for Harry who has met his end, and "Live With Me" plays to mourn him.

Victor Méjean died from an accident while inebriated, a fate that also could have befallen Harry on a previous drinking binge. The striking thing about Victor's death is how easily he could have been overlooked and forgotten. He died at the end of a pier in a fenced off, abandoned part of town. His wife wasn't concerned about his days-long absence. It's only by virtue of Can Opening and Jamrock Shuffling that Harry will know about or find him. Victor literally and figuratively died slipping through the cracks – of the rotted boardwalk, yes, but also of any sort of social safety net. This is what happens to alcoholics in Revachol. This is what will happen to Harry if he continues drinking and hasn't built his own personal safety net with Kim or Cuno to prevent the RCM from abandoning him. As Harry informs Billie of her husband's death, it's only natural for him to think of his own possible endings, and the soundtrack reflects that.

The final version of the song you hear is “Burn, Baby, Burn” blasting from Sad FM on the boat ride to the Sea Fortress to find the Hanged Man's killer and Harry's last dark reflection: Dros, The Deserter. Dros shares Harry's penchant for clinging to political ideology to give meaning to his life and obsessing over women he can't be with. He lives in bitter isolation, refusing to move beyond the failures of the past, his personal shortcomings and the evils of the world alike. He's emblematic of yet another possible outcome for Harry: not literal death, but despair-induced stagnation that leaves one living like a ghost in the mortal realm.

By the time Harry gets in the boat to the island, his fate at the end of the game is set. The RCM (specifically Jean) has all they need to decide whether to accept or abandon their prodigal lieutenant-yefreitor. Should his former partners leave him, Harry can return to the shack and the circle of drunks who have also given up on life. Or he can return to the island, where he would take Dros' place as the creepy old man haunting the fortress, scaring children, and staring at the mainland with longing and resentment. But even if Harry returns with his unit to Jamrock, simply resuming his old life will not keep him from returning to the depths of despair. The RCM broke him; the RCM will not save him. Neither outcome helps Harry become a person he truly wants to live with.

"Want to be free/It will last forever/Eternally," croons the boombox on the boat. The lyrics echo the self destruction that Harry sought before the game's events: freedom forever from pain, the ultimate release of death. At least that's what the Ancient Reptilian Brain would see in those words. But there's tension in the lyrics as the desire for freedom and exhortations to "burn, baby, burn" repeat. The bridge offers an alternative vision of verdure not consumed by the disco inferno: "And the trees are green and overhanging/Feather-light, free, and everlasting." Perhaps a less moribund future exists for Harry, even if only in the next world, as a new person.

[missingn000]

hey all! i wrote a what-if character study & action fic for if king fought sanji instead of zoro during the raid on onigashima. i'd really love if you gave it a read! thanks so much!

link

playlist

happy reading!

[pooks]

part 7 of straw hat!ichiji and without further ado, we'll dive into the next one; Drum Island arc

Nami is sick

as Nami falls sick in a seemingly serious illness, Sanji is taking it harder because of trauma; he has seen Ichiji become seriously ill when they starved on the rock island with Zeff and he had thought he was gonna die.

Sanji has unresolved trauma when it comes to serious illnesses and Ichiji doesn't know how to fix the problem since he cares very little about his own wellbeing.

with Nami out of commission, Ichiji takes over the nagivating role temporarily. he proves to be very decent on it and uses Zeff's old logbook as his guide through the Grand Line. he notices that since the weather is becoming steadingly colder, they must be nearing a winter island.

everyone has different responses to Nami's illness; Luffy, Usopp and Sanji nearly panics while Vivi becomes worried and anxious. Zoro and Ichiji mostly takes the role as the rational ones.

Ichiji is starting to feel under the weather as well and he wonders if his physical body had a delayed reaction due to his modified genetics. he doesn't fall instantly ill like Nami did, but he becomes more fatigued, irritated and loses his appetite (although he forces himself to eat something).

to distract himself from Nami's sickness and his brother's bad moods, Sanji dotes on Nyansha, their new ship cat who can shift size at will. he likes how friendly and cuddly Nyansha is and thinks back at the Baratie. he remembers how he and Ichiji used to nag at Zeff to have a pet and were always refused because the Baratie was a sea-faring restaurant and he didn't want any animals fall into the water and drown.

Zoro notices that Ichiji isn't doing well and keep scratching his neck, so he asks if he's really fine. Ichiji waves off his concerns and just says "don't worry about it".

meeting Wapol and entering Drum Island

Vivi decides to set course for any island nearby in hopes to find a doctor for the sick Nami, instead of heading towards Alabasta. Ichiji has a brief conversation with her and informs her that while she's already burdened with the serious state of her land, she chose to save another's life and it's not something to scoff at. Vivi remarks that Ichiji seems to understand her better than anyone and wonders if he knows a lot about monarchy and diplomacy (given his prior knowledge of Alabasta and displaying dormant skills of leadership).

Ichiji goes still after that and answers "well, we all have skeletons in the closet, don't we? and no, i don't want to talk about it."

as he tends to do sometimes, Ichiji looks over the ocean and thinks about the brothers he left behind in Germa in favor for Sanji. he always regrets leaving them behind and being unable to bring all his little brothers with himself and he hopes that they're faring well, despite Germa being...Germa.

the peace isn't for long, as an unfamiliar pirate ship approaches the Merry and attacks them. through irritated, Ichiji fights along with Zoro, Luffy and Sanji, using the gun Zeff had given him and Sanji (the very one Sanji aimed at Miss All Sunday). they encounter Wapol, a Devil Fruit user and has eaten the Munch Munch fruit and eats exactly anything.

after attempting to eat the ship, Luffy fights him and sends him flying across the ocean. the pirates retreats, however.

Luffy attempts to cheer up Nami, but fails. it's a very hard day on the crew since no one has apparently been sick before (Sanji denies this, but Ichiji mutters a "lies" but disguises it into a cough). the next day, they're reaching a winter island, Drum Island, and drops their anchor there. but they're suddenly ambushed by its' hostile inhabitants.

Ichiji decides to try to reason with them along with Vivi, telling them that they have a sick person onboard and she needs aid. a villager, however, shoots at Vivi when Sanji was about to defend himself from the same shooting villager.

Luffy resolves the situation, after being briefly angered by the violence against his nakama (and being urged by Vivi to not chose violence as counter measure) and Dalton, the leader, and the villagers decides to help them.

Luffy, Sanji, Vivi, Usopp heads down to the village with Nami and leaves Zoro, Ichiji and Karoo onboard the Merry. before they leave, Sanji notices that his older brother has flushed cheeks, but Ichiji says it's because of the cold.

Sanji trails after Luffy, Usopp, Vivi and Nami, but not before looking behind himself at Ichiji.

Zoro is lost and Ichiji falls

after staying in the village for a while and finding out the nearest doctor, one Dr. Kureha, also known as "the witch", resides on a castle on top of a tall rock-like mountain, Luffy and Sanji heads there with Nami to cure her while Vivi & Usopp remains in the village with Dalton. Ichiji and Zoro standing guard on the ship, in case more enemies turned up.

Ichiji kept himself inside the galley when Zoro decided to train in the cold, since he felt less tolerant to the cold than usual and he wasn't in mood to deal with Zoro "unreasonable training montage". but he got suspicious when he heard a lack of "swordman noises" and when he went to check, he found both Zoro and Karoo missing.

Ichiji braves the cold surroundings of Drum Island, dressed warmly and yet, still freezing as if he had no outerwear. trying to locate the missing Zoro is like searching for a needle in a pile of hay, but Ichiji keeps trying.

his illness starts to process more aggressively, putting Ichiji's wellbeing at risk; his fever sky-rockets, he becomes weak and delirious, and soon, he's gotten himself lost as well. fortunately for him, a sled nears him and nearly runs him over; it's Dr. Kureha along with Chopper (in walk point).

Ichiji doesn't call her anything, but he asks her if she's seen "a green-haired, half-naked fool" somewhere. Kureha doesn't answer the question and instead, inquires about his own health since he looks like he's about to keel over. Ichiji decides to be honest and says that he isn't well, but it's the least of his problems since he needs to find his friend.

Ichiji doesn't get to say more before his strength is drained and he collapses in the snow, completely overtaken by his fever.

(Kureha and Chopper decides to bring him with them, as Ichiji will surely die from his fever or the cold if he stays outside)

reunited at the castle, an unbreakable bond of brothers

by the time Luffy, Sanji and Nami are safely inside the castle, they're in a horrible state; Luffy, exhausted from climbing the drum rock with his bare hands and carrying on his two crew mates, is suffering hypothermia. Nami is seriously ill, hovering between life and death and Sanji is critically injured with a broken spine and internal bleeding from the avalanche.

Chopper and Kureha treats them as the group is in a critical condition. Nami is the first one who comes around and the cause of her illness is revealed; Kestia, a poisonous tick from Little Garden causes a "five day sickness" that ends in death.

she also finds out that she isn't alone in the room she's staying in, she sees Ichiji in another bed and panics. it turns out that Ichiji was also bitten by a Kestia tick (flashback to the post-battle in Little Garden, when he slapped his neck from a "mosquito bite"). Kureha has discovered that Ichiji has a different metabolism than an ordinary human which is why his illness progressed slower than Nami. however, his intolerance to the cold and stress made his body enough weak for the Kestia bacteria to advance faster and more aggressively.

Chopper then runs into the room, being chased by Luffy and Sanji who mistook him for food source. however, Sanji stops when he sees his older brother seriously ill and becomes shocked, getting vivid flashback to his past.

we get a narrated flashback from Sanji's POV. he remembers the rock island they were stuck on, starving for 80+ days. during the five last days on the rock, Ichiji fell seriously ill due to eating lesser than Sanji, exhausting himself by collecting morning dew for his brother, enduring night watches and exposure from the sun. after they got saved by a passing ship, Ichiji was put under quarantine due to his illness being so serious along with starvation. he was ill for two months while Sanji and Zeff recovered. Sanji remembers watching his brother suffer from fever, chills, nausea, etc. he had never seen Ichiji weak ever in his life and the thought of Ichiji dying for his sake gave him nightmares and Sanji cried for every day, believing that his brother would surely die.

Sanji tears away from his narrated flashback, seeing Ichiji suffering in the same state and gets a trauma-induced panic attack. he breaks down crying, terrified that his brother is dying once again, blames himself for not seeing the signs and begs the unconscious Ichiji to not leave him alone.

before Kureha is about to hit Sanji's head for whining so much, Ichiji speaks up, revealing he's been awake the whole time

"Geez, you're still such a crybaby, Sanji..."

Sanji screams of grief and anger, hugging Ichiji and saying...something, but no one is able to understand what he's saying since he's crying and sobbing at the same time.

(foreshadowing to Sanji's "△✕~◑※◇♨*~✖✹" in water 7)

Ichiji is still running a fever and seemigly drifts off, but not before he managed to reassure his little brother and his captain (because let's face it, Luffy is freaking out at the thought of his nakama dying) that he'll be fine soon.

everyone thinks he's asleep because of his closed eyes, but he's conscious enough to hear Chopper's story when Kureha tells Sanji and Nami (while Luffy is off chasing the poor reindeer again to make him join his crew).

Wapol returns and the siege of Drum Castle

their luck runs short when Wapol makes a return to the castle, intending to "rule" Drum Island again (which would lead to more of the people's suffering). once again, Luffy fights Wapol but this time, it becomes personal when Wapol shoots at the jolly roger of the long passed Dr. Hiriluk, Chopper's mentor and adoptive father.

Luffy engages in full battle, enraged over how "fake pirates" like Wapol just shoots a jolly roger without a single respect.

inspired by Luffy, Chopper shows that he doesn't have just medical skills, but battle skills as well and joins the battle. Sanji attempted to join as well, but his back injury flares up, rendering him out of commission with Kureha guarding him.

while his two henchmen, fused into one, fights Chopper and Luffy gets distracted, Wapol sneaks into the castle. he stumbles onto Nami, who's already well enough to walk around thanks to Chopper and Kureha's wonder medicine.

the only difference here from canon is that Ichiji arrives in time, still feverish, and jumps at Wapol, pulling at his hair as the ex-king attacks her (which also gives Nami the perfect moment to steal the key from Wapol).

Nami manages to escape, but Wapol is now chasing Ichiji. the antibiotic remedy against his illness is progressing, but Ichiji is already exhausted and Wapol corners him, intending to kill him. Luffy finds them just in time and engages in one final battle before he emerges victorious, having punched Wapol across the next island with a Gum Gum Bazooka.

Dr. Hiriluks cherry blossom snow, Chopper joins the straw hats

with the antibiotic treatment finally taking effect for Ichiji (due to his fast metabolism) and Sanji is getting his back (painfully) fixed again, Luffy tries again and again to recruit Chopper to his crew

Nami attempts to negotiate with Kureha; she hands over the key if Kureha discharges her, Sanji and Ichiji. Ichiji, however, doesn't want Nami to do that since he wants she and Sanji to recover first (once again, he neglects to include himself) before heading to Alabasta. Kureha takes the key, but says they must stay in the castle...but also that there's a coat in the room and the guards aren't present. Nami takes it as a sign that they're free to go.

when Sanji's treatment is complete, Nami and Ichiji brings him as they go outside. Ichiji is nearly fully recovered at this point and is carrying Sanji on his back, who's still out of it from his treatment. Ichiji takes a moment to reflect on old memories and muses that he hasn't done this since they were kids.

barely some moments later, Chopper is joining them but Kureha is chasing after him with weapons, so the Straw Hats panics and decides to pack it to leave. Ichiji wastes no time getting into a sled, still carrying Sanji on his back. however, they get to witness something wonderous.

using Hiriluk's "cure for the country's cold heart", the straw hats and everyone else witnesses cherry blossoms falling onto the snowy island. Ichiji, with a now conscious Sanji leaning on his shoulder, remarks that he has never seen something so beautiful in his life and it's enough to almost bring tears.

with the perfect send-off to Chopper and having a ship doctor onboard, the straw hats sets sail for Alabasta

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

The Dragon Prince Au Masterpost

So since i got so many ideas and thoughts for this au, imma just make a masterpost for this since i plan on expanding and adding more to it in the future. Thought it’d make context a bit easier to understand. There's quite a bit so buckle in fellas

Berk is an outpost village that lies along the border of Katolis and Xadia. The people and battalion there are known for their duty to ward off dragons and drakes when they get too close to the border, and they are based right on the edge of the border where both lands meet at the Gulf of Tenebris. 

The events from the first movie still kind of play out. Hiccup shoots down Toothless and hides it from everyone, but after learning about dragons and seeing that they’re misunderstood and that Berk has been provoking them, he then creates a disguise to help the dragons.

Of course, now everyone thinks that there’s a Sunfire elf out there fighting against them and why do they think he’s a Sunfire elf?? Because he creates Inferno in an attempt to mimic a Sunforge blade and paints his helmet to look like elf markings and builds in horns.

Jack is a Skywing elf, and a mage-in-training. He’s doing his best and lives with his mother and sister, Emily. Their village is to the north of the Ruins of Elarion and resides in the mountains.

He's out flying one day when he hears a dragon's roar and when he flies down to investigate he sees a human trying to catch a dragon. Filled with anger he jumps down and pulls up a spell, aiming it at the human, who stares back with his eyes wide and hands raised.

Hiccup was only trying to wrangle Toothless to try and put on a new and improved tailfin when out of nowhere a Skywing elf leaps out and points lightning at him???

So they get off on the wrong foot. But after seeing that Hiccup wasn't harming Toothless and Toothless was friendly towards Hiccup, did Jack lower his staff. He truly thought the human was going to try to kill the dragon to take it apart to send to the dark mages of the Katolin court. He'd heard stories of human "mages'' and their brand of "magic". But no. All that was in front of him was a startled human who had only been wanting to help a creature of Xadia.

and from there, their friendship begins.

Jack tells Hiccup about Xadia and Hiccup tells Jack about his home. They sneak off to hang out and take Toothless out flying. Jack uses Sky magic to make them go faster and higher and blows snow flurries their way to mess with Hiccup.

Hiccup brings pastries and food for Jack to try from home and gets him to try brown morning potion. It ends with Hiccup laughing on the ground and a cup frozen to the ground as Jack sputters in distaste at the bitterness

Jack manages to find a real Sunforge blade and gifts it to Hiccup. "Now you can pass off as a real Sunfire elf. Or at least close enough."

Toothiana is a Skywing elf. One of Jack’s friends and a family friend to the Frost-Overlands. She’s helped teach Jack some Sky magic but it’s not much. She tries to help him by hunting down books, tomes, and scrolls in her free time when she’s not busy

Bunny is an Earthblood elf who doesn’t stay in one place too long. But he does have a place on the outskirts of their village and sometimes lingers for a few weeks at a time before going back to his travels. His real home is in the Uncharted Forest.

Sandy is a Sunfire elf who passes through occasionally and is Tooth's source for magic books for Jack. Sandy lives near Lux Aurea but his work keeps him traveling around. He's a Sun mage and is currently hunting for the source of whatever magic has been corrupting creatures in Xadia and turning them into monsters made of nothing but shade and decay.

North is a human dwelling in Berk. He and Gobber run the smithy and create the defenses for the outpost and take turns running the shop. But North is actually a friend to Xadia (*cough* Bunny *cough cough* Tooth *cough* Sandy). It was the time before he came to Berk and he keeps these opinions to himself until he discovers what Hiccup has been doing in his spare time.

Astrid is the top-cadet in the training program at the outpost. Best in her class and has the highest chance of joining the Outpost Guard right off the bat. She and Hiccup are friends and she has trouble understanding his sudden reluctance to want to fight dragons and keep enemy forces at bay. This is their home. Doesn’t he want to protect it? Surely he must understand what’s at stake if creatures from Xadia were to invade. 

the rest of the teenagers are in the training program a well. Snotlout has aspirations to join the Katolin army at the Breach, Fishlegs just wants to study the flora and fauna of Xadia without it trying to kill him, and the twins... well they're the twins. They want to learn primal magic for pranks and get chased by a drake and cause havoc in general.

Jamie Bennett and his family live in Berk and Jamie has a secret that he's never told anyone. His best friend's an elf.

Jamie and Emily become friends before the events of the story start. And have been friends for months at this point. They've been lying to everyone to keep their friendship. So when Jack starts acting suspicious at home, claiming to go see some friends (he doesn’t have friends aside from her and Tooth) she starts paying attention to what he’s trying to hide. She fills Jamie in on it as well during one of their hangouts and he’s like “Oh weird, you know I've been noticing the Commander’s son has been disappearing as well.”

At one point Jack manages to get his hands on an illusion necklace, and gives it to Hiccup so that he can be fully disguised as an Earthblood elf. He wants to show him the beauty of his home and Xadia without the worry that he’ll get captured or killed and they spend a whole day going through Jack’s village and showing him everything. Emily follows along and keeps a sharp eye on Hiccup. 

She brings it up in their following recap. "So my brother had a friend over the other day... it was an Earthblood elf i had never seen before... he acted really weird." "Huh that's weird... Hiccup was gone the other day... no one could find him..." ".... Hiccup?"

and Pitch is a dark mage :)

At some point i may add more, but for now this is the base context for the Au. it was hard not to get carried away with adding even more but i think that about sums it up for now! Below is the art that's been posted already. I'll edit it as i post more but for now that's it!

Jack, Hiccup, and Toothless designs

Sunfire Elf Hiccup disguise

Jack's Wing Maintenance

First Meeting (and misunderstandings)

Questions Ask

Ask #2

Jack and His Sister

Astrid, Jamie, and Tooth Designs

Earthblood Elf Hiccup Illusion

Some Plot

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[demon-witch-cat]

Hi there,

Question for your Branch is Keith’s Unofficial Dad AU (Sorry I can’t remember the actual name of the AU)

How would BroZone react to meeting Keith for the first time? And vice versa.

Also would Keith get along with BroZone?

And would BroZone think Keith is actually Branch’s Son?

Guess I ask more questions than I thought I would😅

(So sorry for taking so long to answer! I feel so bad!) 

Don’t worry, I only recently figured out the name! (thanks to @super-secret-agent-of-sin) Though, their relationship is less father-son, and more just big brother-little brother. That’s just how I personally see them! Which is especially funny when you throw in Brozone, Branch’s “actual” brothers.  

Before I start, I just real quick want to say that this is for if I stick more closely with cannon, where Floyd is the one captured and Keth just happens to tag along.   I have another idea for the AU, where Branch is the one captured, in front of Keith/after saving Keith, instead of Floyd. So, Floyd and Keith both replace/swap with Branch in the journey (If that makes sense). I can talk about that too, but I figured this one would be easier to work with. 

Now, I do like to think that there is a moment for each brother (maybe not Floyd, idk) where they’d see this trolling with blue hair, almost the exact same shade of blue as Branches when he was little, holding their youngest brothers hand staring at them with wide blue eyes, and immediately think “Oh shit, this is B’s kid!” And if they say this, Branch will quickly correct their thinking with a “What, no, Keith isn’t my kid! He’s my little brother, who I adore very much!” saying it both proudly, and slightly pettily. With Keith going “Yeah!” Before sticking is tongue out. 

Anyways, after that part, I think each brother would have a different reaction and feelings. 

KEITH 

Starting with Keith, he doesn’t like them. At least at the beginning he doesn’t. In his mind, they left Branch when he was little, and Branch clearly doesn’t like them, so he doesn’t like them. Because of this Keith decides to tag along on the mission so he can ‘protect’ Branch. Over the course of movie, he relaxes a bit with the creepy stares and feirce and childishly blunt comments. However, that doesn’t mean he likes them, especially with all the talk of ‘perfect’ and them calling Branch nicknames he very clearly doesn’t like. Keith doesn’t really understand the entire situation, he just doesn’t like how they just act like everything is normal with Branch. Like they are brothers. He does slowly warm up to them after the events of the movie though. Eventually seeing them all as older brothers as well. Though not after a bunch more creepy glares, blunt comments, and many pranks. Keith can be a menace when he wants to be. Branch will always be his favorite though, and vice versa. 

JOHN DORY 

John would be surprised, especially with how close they are, and probably feel jealous about it but ultimately take it in stride. Maybe during the fight, he makes a comment on the fact that Keith isn’t really Branch's brother, which sets Branch off even more, but he’d feel bad about it immediately afterwards. Especially seeing the heartbreaking look in Keiths eyes. After the movie’s events, though, he’d be all over it, and I can see him being the first or second brother to win over Keith (after apologizing for the comment). Especially with their common interest in the woods/outdoors (which is also shared with Branch, obviously). I think they could have a cute dynamic, once they get past the cannon drama. 

BRUCE 

Bruce would also take Branch and Keith being brothers in stride. He’d also feel very proud of Branch, especially when the first interaction he sees between the two is Keith tugging at Branches hand, asking if he can play with his own kids, and Branch turning to look at him in his own question, before agreeing, insisting that he be careful and to not wander off too far. His baby bro is so responsible and clearly a good big brother! Also, his dad instincts would totally kick in when he’s around him (like with tiny), but at the same time he wouldn’t usually get a chance to act on them because Branch was usually already on top of it. Keith looks like he’s wandering too far off? Branch is already calling him back or walking over to him. Keith’s looking nervous about the situation? Branch seems to know exactly what to do to calm the young trolling down. Hug time? The two don’t even think about it, Branch just automatically opens his arms for Keith to immediately jump into(or, even funnier, Keith and Poppy both race to hug Branch, who looks like he’s just accepted it a long time ago) That part does kind of sting though, as when he’d hugged Branch for the first time in years, he was shoved away with an uncomfortable, yet stern look. And then immediately almost being bitten by the green trolling. 

CLAY 

Clay, for some reason, I see him both the most confused, and maybe the most jealous over this. I don’t know why, it’s not because the two wouldn’t get along, because they would. I just see him being like, “Wait what? You have a little brother? ...How?” Like, same vibe as his late reaction to their grandma having been eaten. But then after Branch giving him a quick explanation, he’d kind of just... Doesn't interact with Keith unless he’d need to. At least during the events of the movie. After the movie events though, Clay would learn that Keith likes to create stories, specifically more morbid stories. Just like Branch, he’d also like to listen to Keith’s stories (I hc that Clay likes a lot of different literature. He just has more of an interest in ‘sad’ books).  

FLOYD 

Floyd would be like “Aw, your a big brother now too! That’s so sweet!” And then try to talk to Keith, but Keith would immediately just be on edge and glare at him, considering how the others were. This would throw Floyd, and Branch honestly, through a loop, but he’d try his best to get past it. Branch would try to get Keith relax a little bit, but Keith is stubborn and, as I said before, protective. The others already hurt Branch; he doesn’t know if he can trust Floyd not too. Of course, he’s not as much of a menace with Floyd as he is with the others. But it's literally only because he almost died and is still healing. By the time he’s recovered though, Keith would trust/like him enough not to go full menace little brother on him.  

Sorry, I just went on a tangent here, but I’d been thinking about this a lot! So, thank you for giving me a chance to talk about it! 

[mothmothm0th]

Strangeness of In the Attic, or Foxglove's Perfectly Ordinary Break

It was quarter past two in the afternoon, which meant it was teatime soon, which meant Miss would be waking up soon, which meant Foxglove was right on schedule. It had watered the house plants, tended the garden, and fed the pond monster. It had placed empty casks of wine at the ends of three dead end tunnels and sent out invitations to three of Miss' least powerful enemies. That meant it was time for the task Foxglove dreaded the most: dillying the dallies.

Foxglove did not want to dilly the dallies. The mere fact that there was a task Miss could assign that Foxglove would prefer to decline if given the chance caused a stutter in its clockwork. Miss' consistent insistence Foxglove do it regardless pushed Foxglove to the limits of its Purpose. Fifteen minutes of such activity that would neither benefit nor hinder Miss. How could Miss punish it so?

Foxglove knew why, of course. It had collapsed one evening mere minutes before its vesper maintenance. Miss had taken this failure as the unforgivable strike against Her that Miss ought have. Miss wished to make this punishment task hourly. For every sixty minute block, Foxglove would have to spend twenty simply doing nothing. Cruel! And unusual! But Miss was merciful and allowed Foxglove to haggle its punishment down to a single dillying every two days. For that reason, Foxglove did not complain about the two percent loss to its productivity. Too much, anyway. Foxglove permitted itself a small amount of complaining. Complaining about dillying helped it fill it's dillying quota. With that thought in its little dolly head, Foxglove stomped up the cellar steps.

"It was that one's idea! It should do it!" came a cry from the parlor. It was Jessamine. Foxglove next heard Baneberry yell something back. Was Foxglove allowed to stop its fellow dolls from fighting? That would certainly count as benefiting Miss but perhaps Miss would see that it was an emergency. Jessamine and Baneberry were the best of friends. They should not be fighting!

Foxglove passed by Buttonbush in the kitchen. It looked fantastic in its big poofy maid's dress. Buttonbush was busy preparing tea and lunch; Foxglove didn't want to interrupt it. Being the focal character can be taxing and Buttonbush deserved to remain a mere cameo this time.

"...its small hat!"

Whatever Jessamine said about Baneberry's small hat, it must have been very rude indeed. When Foxglove entered the parlor, it took Baneberry several seconds to notice it and not even a beat for Jessamine to be filled with regret and fear. Rambling apologies poured out and drowned out Baneberry's tears. On a sofa in the corner of the room, Snowdrop read The Goodest Doll and Other Scary Stories in perfect ignorance of the cacophony surrounding her. A blissful Purpose.

"Jessamine, Baneberry!" Foxglove called for their attention. It had seen Miss do this so many times before. Fists digging into its sides, leaning slightly forward. Foxglove was a visage of Miss in doll form. The effect was immediate. Foxglove did relish its ability to bring its sister-dolls in line.

"This one wants to know why Jessamine and Baneberry were fighting!"

The two dolls glanced at each other and opened their mouths. A cacophany of explanations ensued, and Foxglove nearly wished it was dillying the dallies. Two accountings of misgivings and recounted insults brought Foxglove no closer to an understanding.

Just as Foxglove was about to give up -sixteen minutes till the end of dillying-, Snowdrop cleared her throat; purely an affectation of course. Though, perhaps its voicebox was rusty from disuse.

"Baneberry wanted to search the attic with Jessamine. Jessamine didn't want to," Snowdrop said.

"If Baneberry wants to be a witchling some day, Baneberry can't be afraid of attics!"

"Jessamine knows attics are scary and full of terrors!"

Foxglove shushed them both. "Why does Baneberry want to go to the attic?" it asked.

"This one heard a noise!" Baneberry said. "This one was reading a book on doll witches in its room when it heard a 'thump!' from upstairs!" It emphasised its point with a 'thump!'-style gesture.

"Baneberry is s-silly! Miss said the attic is e-empty!"

"But this one heard it! It heard the 'thump!'" Another 'thump!'-style gesture.

Before Jessamine could restart the argument in earnest, Foxglove raised an index finger. It was another one of Miss' gestures. It had an idea. Surely there was nothing in the attic that would be of consequence to Miss. This was the perfect way to dilly the dallies! Foxglove was a genius!

"This one recommends we explore together!"

Jessamine and Baneberry looked at Foxglove in stunned silence. They glanced at each other, then turned back to Foxglove.

"Is Foxglove punishing this one and Baneberry?" Jessamine asked. Baneberry nodded along furiously.

A punishment? Hmm... As far as either doll knew, Foxglove was still on the clock, as it were. Neither doll knew of Miss' orders for it. If it said it was a punishment, they would have to follow along, and since they were on break, it wouldn't even hurt productivity. Surely this was an act neither beneficial or harmful to Miss! Thus, Foxglove nodded.

"Th-then... This one thinks Jessamine and this one have no choice," Baneberry said. There was a hint of regret in its girlish voice. It had wanted to offload the scary stuff to Jessamine, after all.

And speaking of, Jessamine had gone pale. Metaphorically, of course. Its bronze faceplate was physically incapable of such an act. Yet, there was a kind of stillness in its frame that was not Still at all.

"It shall be fine," Foxglove said. "With a party of free, these ones can triumph over the attic with ease."

"Excuse me. That's not even a complete light party," Snowdrop said without lifting her head from her book.

"Are you volunteering?" Foxglove asked. Perhaps it could extend its reasoning to 'punish' her too.

"I'm not," she said. "Merely commenting. I have important books to read."

"Then these ones shall be a lighter party!" Foxglove proclaimed triumphantly. Jessamine groaned. Baneberry fiddled with the thin brim of its hat. Neither argued, however, which Foxglove took as assent. Eleven minutes till the end of dillying time. Eleven minutes was plenty of time to look through an attic. Foxglove clapped its hands together. "To the attic!"

Foxglove had never actually been to the attic. Miss never went there either. There was a certain *aura* about the place. Foxglove could swear the air in the immediate vicinity of the stairs leading up there has significantly mustier than anywhere else in the cottage or even its cellar complex. Even the floor around the stairs seemed somehow withered, nails rusted. It even creaked a little, no matter how delicate one stepped. With each step upwards, the decay seemed worse and worse. Paint seemed to chip away like fraying cloth, vibrant red giving way to the silver of dead wood. Was it like this from disuse alone? Or was there something else going on? There was but one way to find out. Up, and up.

At the very summit of the stairs, Jessamine laid its hand on Foxglove's shoulder. Poor doll didn't even have the willpower to apply any force. "Please, let's turn back," it said. How did it manage to be so expressive with its fear with its unmoving faceplate? Beside it, Baneberry didn't seem to be faring much better. It had enabled its floatation enchantment. Perhaps that was the smart thing to do. Foxglove certainly did not truly trust the wood underfoot.

"This one is not afraid of attics," Foxglove said. And yet, the layer of rust creeping across the door handle did stir some hesitation. The things it did to dilly the dallies. Foxglove laid its hand on the handle. Despite its gentle grip, it nevertheless felt rust crumble against its palm. If only Miss hadn't given it a sense of touch. If only.

Foxglove turned the handle and pushed. It only barely budged. Foxglove pulled, and the door didn't even do that. Jessamine took a close look, tapping its brass lips. "The door is stuck," it said. Baneberry giggled. Laughter is a common response to acute anxiety, Foxglove knew. But indeed, exposed wood, a bit of humidity, and enough time had together jammed the thing stuck.

"Can Jessamine help this one?" Foxglove asked, but only after leaving a very, very shallow dent in the door in the shape of its shoulder. The door took 1d1-1 bludgeoning damage; Foxglove took 1d4 morale damage plus 1d2 from asking Jessamine. How dreadful!

"This one thought that one would ask it *before* hurting itself," Jessamine chortled. It gestured to Foxglove to step aside as it raised its leg. Critical hit! The door swung right open. A powerful wind blew stale, stale air in the trio's faces. As if books had grown old and died, turned to dust. In that moment, Foxglove was thankful Miss had crafted its nose without the ability to get itchy.

"It stinks," Jessamine said. Foxglove agreed. It smelled like... sulphur. Just like lake monster feed. Wait. Foxglove patted the pockets of its maid dress. A slight squish. Oh. Apologies were exchanged.

Tentatively, Foxglove stepped in the room. The floorboards creaked in a way that reminded it of a dying ox. No, really! It was as if one of those things the boys in the internet radio shows had to make funny sounds on cue! The expression on Baneberry's dollish little face convinced Foxglove the attic hadn't already drained its sanity points. The oxen plank was real. Carefully avoiding the oxen plank, Jessamine followed in. Baneberry floated along.

The attic seemed oddly devoid of colour. Ash, dust, and that silver of dead wood. Even Jessamine's brass seemed to gather a thin layer of patina. Unless that pale green was its nausea. Foxglove didn't know. It didn't ask, also. In the grey, the dolls found themselves surrounded by crates, crates, and more crates.

"This one senses magicks," Baneberry whispered. It was glancing about the room, arms close to its chest.

"Where from? Which kind?" Foxglove asked. Baneberry was far more sensitive to such things than either it or Jessamine was. One time, Baneberry had caught a stray conundrum floating about in Foxglove's room. Foxglove didn't believe it until Baneberry had contained the conundrum in a cipher-solution casket. Foxglove could, so it claimed, tell from its complexity that the conundrum had been in the room for a couple of weeks --likely since that experiment with the pizza toppings. Foxglove still wasn't sure what a conundrum actually was but after it was contained, Foxglove had an easier time with its puzzle games again. Which is to say, Foxglove trusted Baneberry on these matters.

"This one doesn't know. Everywhere. The whole attic. It feels evil."

"Of course it's evil. It's an attic," Jessamine said.

"No! Not like that. An attic's evil is supposed to just be semiotic. It's a signifier of sorts for the inherent evil of the past. But this attic is..." Baneberry tapped its lip. "Ontologically evil. Like a mistake in the possibility space."

Jessamine glanced at Foxglove. Clearly, Baneberry had never found a conundrum in *its* room.

"Is it dangerous?" Foxglove asked.

"This one isn't sure. This one thinks it might be nothing. Perhaps the mistake-ness this one senses is just what attics signify. This one doesn't know. This one hasn't been in an attic before. This one doesn't like being in the attic. This one wants to leave."

Foxglove consulted the ticking of its clockwork. Four minutes left on its dillying shift. Four minutes was too long to be idle, yet not enough to begin anything. No, Foxglove had to stick to this course. "This one wants you to stay," it said.

Baneberry floated erratically but found a brave face. "Yes, miss," it said. Jessamine groaned like a sinking cruise ship. Seemed like it too was harbouring some ideas which Foxglove's words had run aground. Took the wind right out of its sails, ran into an iceb- I'll stop.

Something glinted in the far corner of the room. Through the monochrome, a faint speck of gold peeked out from under a linen sheet. Foxglove tippy-toed around the crates blocking its path. It wished it had Baneberry's floaty spell. Still, it managed it, and without splinters, too. Looking behind, Baneberry struggled to lift Jessamine off the ground. Jessamine could have simply walked through the stack, Foxglove thought. Tossed them aside, punched a hole... Perhaps Jessamine was showing respect to the semiotics at play.

The three dolls gathered around the linen sheet. From here, up close, it was clear that it was hiding a painting. The golden glint had come from its antique frame. Rather an ornate frame at th- a simple frame of straight li- a frame reminiscent of baroq- a frame styled after a headache. Foxglove wanted to look away. It couldn't. It didn't want to lay a hand on the sheet. The linen felt like velvet. Nothing good could come of unveiling the portrait. Its hand gripped the sheet and--

Jessamine grabbed Foxglove's wrist like a vice. The pain snapped Foxglove to its senses and it let go of the coarse and damp sheet.

"There's a portrait in every attic," Baneberry said, its voice quiet and frail. "Without fail, there's a portrait."

"These ones should leave."

Foxglove's inner clock ticked uncertainty. How long was there left on its dillying? No, no. Regardless of whatever else, it needed to know. This wasn't about obeying Miss' commands anymore. Foxglove raised its hand to silence Jessamine's compaints. No matter how much Jessamine groaned, Foxglove would stay. And if it stayed, so did Jessamine. Foxglove reached for the sheet again. Three ticks of its clockwork. Tick, tick, tick, pull! A great many grains of sand fell on Foxglove's shoes.

And then there was sand everywhere. It poured in like a river. Sand, sand, sand. Before any of the dolls could say sandcastle, they were knee deep in sand. Waist deep. A scorching wind blew in Foxglove's face. The portrait kept spewing sand. A strange person of indistinct gender with their mouth open, only their top row of teeth and wide open eyes visible through the stream of sand. Sand, absolute sand...

And the scorching sun against Foxglove's eyelids. Was it over? Had it been sent to hell? Something jerked its shoulder.

"Wake up," the something said in Baneberry's voice. "Wake up!"

Foxglove's first thought upon seeing the open skies was to wonder at the majesty. Perfectly blue, nary a cloud or girder in sight. Hey, wait a second. Where was the attic? There was a ceiling there. It's gone now. The shock jolted Foxglove upright. Sand fell off its hair and onto its shoulders. Irritating. It would take forever to get its clothes cleaned now, what with sand's property of getting everywhere. Hopefully the coarse texture wouldn't harm its textiles.

"This is a desert," Jessamine noted. "Sahara, if this one were to guess. Foxglove, this is that one's fault."

Foxglove nodded. No use arguing that. No, it was best to seek some direction. Had they crashed a plane here, their best option would have been to remain with the wreckage. But there was nothing, absolutely nothing. Although, and Foxglove knew its magickal knowledge was lacking, if the portrait had teleported them to Sahara, then the attic would still bear traces of that magick. One does not punch a hole in spacetime and leave no mark.

"Destinations seldom do, however. The outgoing hole scabs easier," Baneberry explained. Foxglove hoped that verb was a metaphor of sorts.

Meanwhile, Jessamine was staring into the distance. Perhaps the circumstances were too much for it to handle, Foxglove thought. Only, then Baneberry joined in. What could have caught their attention so? Foxglove trained its focus to where it thought the others were looking and... In the distance, it saw it glimmer. It looked like a faint outline. And a cross inside, like a window. But it couldn't be. It's...

"Just a mirage," Jessamine sighed.

"No no no," Baneberry said, wagging its index finger in the air. "This one thinks... This one thinks that window is not a mirage!"

"Then what does that one think it is?"

"It's a window!"

Another groan from Jessamine. Baneberry seemed serious, though.

"This one thinks that mirage is actually the attic window!"

"Then that means..." Foxglove trailed off.

"That means it's not a mirage," Baneberry exclaimed. "This," it plucked at the air. "Is the mirage!" And it tore a hole in the Saharan air. Through it, Foxglove could see grey wood. They were in the attic still! Baneberry tore at the hole, shredding it away like old wallpaper till it could fit its head through. Jessamine rushed in to help it, cutting into the mirage with a survival knife. Foxglove simply stood there, dumbfounded.

And then, poof! The mirage was gone, reduced to a thick layer of dust covering each and every surface. The three dolls looked like they were carved from marble, though only until Baneberry sneezed. Miss really Made it with the ability to sneeze? Oh, but there was that distinct itch in Foxglove's nose too. How long had it been? The question was expelled through its nose. And then, a sound like a gong going off. Jessamine, too? The three dolls sneezed and sneezed. In no time at all, the air was foggy with dust. Dust, swirling.

Foxglove's hair blew in the wind. Wind? Wind. It circled the attic and gathered the dust into a whirlwind. Foxglove had no hope but to close its eyes and brace itself. The wind howled in its ears and nearly drowned out Baneberry's cries.

And then, quiet. Foxglove opened its eyes again. It saw nothing. Or, well, as Snowdrop might say, Foxglove didn't see nothing because nothing is the absence of things, and Foxglove did see... something. It and its fellow dolls had been swallowed up by a deep dark void which an entity lacking in erudition might mistake for nothing. Another one of the attic's illusions, it must be. Baneberry's statements about ontological evil seemed irrefutable.

Something else Snowdrop might have noted, were she there, would be that the only time one sees dust floating in the air is when it has light to reflect off of. Snowdrop might also add that this is true of anything, really, but that in a void where one's compatriots are lit by some unknown means, which seemed independent of actual light, one might miss the presence of dust. And indeed, Foxglove, Jessamine, and Baneberry did not notice the dust permiating their surroundings.

Not until the dust coalesced, anyway. Great winds again surged towards a common end and dust bunnies and specks of sand and little chips of paint formed together a dreadful shadow. Jessamine steeled itself, Baneberry spun in the air. Foxglove too could not pretend to be brave.

"Whooo the fuuuck are yooou?" the winds and the detritus asked.

"These ones are dolls." A brave voice against the wind. Was that a hint of glee in Jessamine's voice? "Who in the name of copulation is that one?"

"Iii aaam... Iii aaam..." The coalescing figure waited a moment. Fair dues, it must be dreadfully difficult to speak when you are a pile of dust and wind. A moment of courtesy, to permit the being to solidify. The cloud took shape, more human, though by way of a giant snake. Perhaps an eastern dragon? Snowdrop would know better...

"I am," the being's voice boomed, "that nagging feeling, the haunting presence. I am that which you would rather fucking forget. I am what you avoid, what you dread."

Jessamine gestured something. Foxglove agreed.

"Where there is an attic, there I am. And you, 'dolls', have disturbed my divine realm!"

Foxglove glanced over to Baneberry. Their eyes met.

"And thus I shall rain my divine judgement upon you little fucks!"

Jessamine dug its heels to the void-that-was-ground. Baneberry steadied itself in the void-that-was-air. Foxglove reached into the fabric-that-was-pocket.

"Take this divine L and become dust within my realm!"

Two things happened at once. First, the being claiming itself to be the god of attics formed a great big hand and brought it down upon the dolls with enough force to shatter continents. Second, the trio of dolls sprung into action at once. Foxglove threw lake monster feed in the air. Globs of sulphur flew against the divine dust cloud and were immediately aerosolised. Baneberry cast an incantation, a blue flame which followed the trail of monster feed into the cloud. The moment it connected with the evil gestalt, it conflagrated into a fierce cerulean bonfire. Lit by fire, Jessamine channelled all its love for its Miss into its knife handle and drew from the sheath a shining blade of justice. With a single stroke, the blade tore through god and realm both. The light overwhelmed, and for the third time, Foxglove closed its eyes.

When Foxglove opened its eyes again, the attic was just an attic. Ordinary, dull, full of old clutter. The three dolls walked the stairs in silence. Buttonbush was waiting there to guide them to the veranda where Miss and Snowdrop awaited them. Foxglove struggled to meet Miss' gaze, and when she dusted it off, it could only muster a creak of a thanks. Jessamine and Baneberry weren't much for conversation either.

Later that evening, Miss gathered her dolls to discuss matters. No mention of the attic was made, though Foxglove was excused from its dillying duties.

In the dead of night, as Foxglove laid in its bed, Snowdrop knocked on its door. They conversed for a long time and though Snowdrop didn't know much, it had read of a being like the one Foxglove had met. Not a god, just something above humans and a grammatician's worst nightmare.

They couldn't even call themselves godslayers...

[possum-quesadilla]

Playlist dissections for Time is a Flat Circle, Time’s Arrow, and You Can Always Come Home!!

TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE

Titles:

- “The Heroine” by Unwoman

Used twice, for the title of chapter one, “Go through the emotions again and again”, and chapter six, “And this time I actually feel them”.

The first chap’s title is fairly obvious, He has to go through all of the emotions of the loop over and over again. The rest of the song is about an actress lamenting how she has the sympathies of the audience, but that someone who promised to come see her show never did. I feel like this is prevalent for our rancid little fella!

For chapter six, it’s a continuation of chapter one’s title. Beetlejuice actually has to start facing and feeling all of the emotions and hurt from the loops!

- “In Heaven (Lady in the Radiator Song)” by David Lynch

For chapter two’s title, “In Heaven, everything is fine”. It is from the movie “Eraserhead”! The movie itself is rather dark, and the song comes at a moment that the main character is considering that maybe heaven would be better than his current situation. For Beetlejuice, this pertains to how he is trying to convince himself that this is as close to happy as he’ll get, and that everything is indeed fine, even though it isn’t.

- “Dinner Is Not Over” by Jack Stauber

For chapter three’s title, “I’ve tasted dying and it tasted good!” The song actually promotes suicide prevention. The song talks about having many experiences, including a brush with death. The idea of death is very tempting to the person singing, but he says it’s “for desert” and he can “have it when dinner is done”. (Basically, yes death is tempting, but there’s so much more to your life to experience and look forward to.) It’s a hauntingly beautiful song, while also being uplifting and catchy! The lyric for the title in particular refers to how Beetlejuice’s own constant brushes with death and eternal rest is seeming more and more desirable with each passing loop, but he keeps going for Lydia and the Maitlands.

- “Devil Town V2” by Cavetown

For chapter four’s title, “Falling doesn’t feel so bad when I know you’re falling this way too”. SPECIFICALLY specifically V.2 because that is my favorite version. It’s about growing up in a tumultuous home, specifically being a child of divorce. The cyclical and downtrodden nature of the song reflects BJ’s outlook at this point in the story, but the title line specifically refers to how his pain is being lessened by no longer being alone in his suffering.

- “So Long” by Tokyo Elvis

For chapter five’s title, “Try to hold the breeze within your fingertips, It’s hopeless”. I can’t find much online about the song, but it has that good cyclical feeling I look for in songs for this fic. This line specifically refers to how Beetlejuice is trying to hold on to the fleeting joy he finds among the routine of the loop, but he can’t hold on to it forever. This song is also just soooooo time loop core, it’s insane.

- “Nobody” by Mitski

For chapter seven’s title, “And I don’t want your pity, I just want somebody near me”. Mitski was my rock throughout writing this chapter. (And the whole fic) If I had less self restraint, the entirety of both of the LoopJuice playlists would be all Mitski. I feel like this song, and the line I chose for the title in particular, really reflect what our sweet little demon wants deep down.

- “This Woman’s Work” by Kate Bush

AUUUGH. This song destroys me. For chapter eight’s title, “I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left”. Heavily inspired by a scene using this song in “Our Flag Means Death”, I listened to this song endlessly while writing this chapter. I believe it fits it so well for obvious reasons. My brain associates it very heavily with Barbara, but also Beetlejuice and his struggles to have “a little life” in him yet.

Non-titles:

Time loop core

These songs mostly just generally fit the vibe of “stuck in a time loop and it sucks”!

- “Look Who’s Inside Again” by Bo Burnham

It’s hard to explain how Beetlejuice core AND time loop core this is without just. Explaining the entire song.

- “taixu” by lasah, sasakure

One of the songs that actually helped me come up with the plot of this fic! I like imagining the first “crow” as Juno, in my mental animatic. Then the Maitlands as the second “crow”, with him banishing them to the attic. (Fun fact: I originally planned on making a chainshipping animatic to this. I still have it partially plotted out.)

- “Any Day Now” by Bo Burnham

I imagine this is him being in hard denial about the time loop. Or about his feelings.

- “Charlie’s Inferno” by That Handsome Devil

I think this one is fairly obvious in a way maybe

- “Rain” by Jack Stauber

Just listen to this one, and it’ll make sense. Ouch. “Why’s it still raining? I did what I was supposed to. That’s not fair.”

- “You’re at the Party” by Lemon Demon

A song about a man who’s stuck in purgatory after dying in his sleep. Fitting!

- “There’s Something Happening” by Jack Stauber

Vibes, man. Also him pretending everything is hunky-dory

- “Spiral of Ants” by Lemon Demon

Idk how to put this into so many words. This song fucks.

- “Once I’m In My Head” by Jack Stauber

Him being a dumbass struggling to think of a way out.

- “4379” by Jack Stauber

Beetlejuice falling in love over and over, doing the same things over and over.

- “Is Anyone There” by Jack Stauber

Pretty self explanatory!

General Beetlejuice core

Songs that fit Beetlejuice as a character in general to me, as well as loopjuice specifically.

- “Hansel” by Sodikken

A song about a character who was ignored so hard he did something drastic that got him killed. That’s our guy!

- “People Eater” by Sodikken

Love this freak energy. Also, “I think there’s something wrong with me, why can’t I just live happily?” And “Why do you still believe in me?”, and “And I’m baffled why you choose to stay with me, you’re completely free, yet you refuse to leave”. Yikes.

- “Mirror Man” by Jack Stauber

Desperate for attention and approval!

- “A Mask of My Own Face” by Lemon Demon

Adaptable! Will be anything for anyone! Please just stick around, I’ll be anyone

- “Soft Fuzzy Man” by Lemon Demon

Heheh. Fits his weird flirty side.

- “The Mind Electric” by Miracle Musical

A classic Beetlejuice core song.

- “Eighth Wonder” by Lemon Demon

Creature energy. Love him.

- “Sense, Sensibility” by AJJ

Funky demon who doesn’t understand human bullshit!

- “Friends In Low Places” by Worthikids

Mostly referring to how he’s a demon, but also how he could “vanish with no traces” etc.

- “A Human’s Touch” by TWRP

Again, desperate for attention and approval.

- “My Time” by bo en

I feel like this just exudes the same manic energy he does.

- “Fighter” by Jack Stauber

“Call me fighter, I’ll mop the floor with you, call me lover, I’ll take you for a drink or two” and “If you truly loved me, why’d you train me to fight?” Specifically. The second one is a sort of begging call-out to his mom, in my mind.

Beetlands

Mostly from my Beetlands playlist, so I won’t really explain these! I will eventually if I do a dissection on my Beetlands playlist. Maybe

- “It Will Come Back” by Hozier

- “Curses” by The Crane Wives

- “Never Love an Anchor” by The Crane Wives

Beej trauma

- “Mama’s Boy” by Dominic Fike

I guess this only really works if you’ve seen the animation memes…

- “Abbey” by Mitski

He doesn’t know what he’s wanted, but he just knows he was born wanting. (It was love and warmth)

- “The Wolf Song” by Amanda Palmer

Pretty… self explanatory with the lyrics, but for his mother instead of his father.

Specific

- “Goodbye” by Bo Burnham

This song very much fits his mentality of chapter 8, in my mind. Especially “I swear to god that all I’ve ever wanted was, a little bit of everything all of the time, a bit of everything all of the time” he wanted so little, but to him, it was still too much. Too “everything”.

- “The Sword of Damocles” from “Rocky Horror Picture Show”

He talks about the sword of Damocles in the original show, and he feels a sort of constant dread in the fic, heheh.

- “What If Tomorrow Comes” from “Black Friday”

Funny story, this was almost the title of chapter 8! Originally, I had the idea of it ending on a cliffhanger of whether the time loop actually ended or not. That was in very early stages of Loopjuice’s development though, before I decided on making Time’s Arrow. Still holds up to me, with their anxious countdown there at the end!

- “Last Words of a Shooting Star” by Mitski

If you know what this song is about, it makes quite a lot of sense for chapter 8.

- “I Guess” by Mitski

Him thinking this is the end of himself, expressing his care for the others, especially Lydia.

- “Pearl Diver” by Mitski

For when he was so sure he was dying! Also some of the lyrics hurt hard if you think of them from the others’ POVs.

- “Pale Machine” by bo en

In my mental animatic, this is him singing with Lydia, forcing himself to go through the motions each loop to keep her happy. Also, “Hold me, I’m a pale machine, life is just okay out here, anyone can see, I’m lonely”

- “Choice” by Jack Stauber

Ough. It’s hard to elaborate on this one without going beat-per-beat with the animatic I’d make if I had the skills.

- “Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart” by Mitski

Very much fitting with Beej’s thoughts leading up to the ritual in chapter 8. How he’s grown, but how he feels he has to go and how he deserves to be forgotten.

In story references:

- Chapter 8: “So Long” by Tokyo Elvis

Line: “They tried, desperately, to hold it all within their grasp, to savor it, to hold it close. But it’s hopeless. The last day with their BFFF passes like sand through his fingers.”

Original lyric: “Try to hold the breeze within your fingertips, It’s hopeless”

A sort of call back to chapter five’s title, and to allude how he thinks him holding onto these things is hopeless.

- Chapter 8: “Last Words of a Shooting Star” by Mitski

Line: “He empties out their belongings from his hammer space and leaves them in tidy piles in the basement.”

Original lyric: “And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy, They'll think of me kindly, When they come for my things”

See previous note about this song, how the song is about someone dying in some way, and is looking back at how they left things and how they lived.

TIME’S ARROW

Titles:

- “Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart” by Mitski

For chapter one, “There’s some kind of burning inside me, It’s kept me from falling apart”. The song itself fits more with Time is a Flat Circle and chapter nine of this fic, but the selected line specifically is meant to refer how to Beetlejuice is unknowingly reflecting on his deep yearning to be seen and heard and understood, and how it impacted his relationships and his self worth.

- “Mt Washington” by Local Natives

For chapter two, “Digging like you can bury something that cannot die, We could wash the dirt off our hands now”. Both literally relevant and thematically relevant! Beetlejuice is digging for no apparent reason, to Lydia. She doesn’t know he can die, so to her, it’s useless, and they should just go home and wash up. For Beej, he’s trying to “bury something that cannot die”; his guilt, his dread, all his Feelings. You can wash your hands, and try to bury it, but it will not die.

- “A Mask of My Own Face” by Lemon Demon

For chapter three, “A mask of my own face, I’d wear that”. I feel like this one is perhaps the most self-explanatory of the chapter titles, haha. He’s wearing a “mask of his own face”, or putting on a show of a version of himself for the others.

- “Hey, Little Songbird” from “Hadestown”

For chapter four, “Suddenly, nothing is as it was, Where are you now, Orpheus?”. I’m sure we can all connect the dots with this one. Rattlesnake vs songbird, but really, wolf vs lamb.

- “Good Luck, Babe!” By Chappell Roan

For chapter five, “Good luck, babe! You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling”. Pretty literal and self explanatory. Beej is trying to bury all of those pink fuzzy Feelings, but that’s impossible.

- “No Children” by The Mountain Goats

For the first half of chapter six’s title, “I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow, I hope it bleeds all day long”. Two songs for the two very different vibes! This first half reflects how Beetlejuice was relying on pain to distract him from his Feelings. Also, “No Children” is a good song for Beej in general, for a few of his past relationships.

- “Samson” by Regina Spektor

For the second half of chapter six’s title, “You are my sweetest downfall”. Basically, Beej admitting to himself that the Maitlands are his “downfall”. His Feelings for them are fatal, in his head. Also this song just fits Beetlands so well to me, oh my god.

- “Strawberry Blonde” by Mitski

For another split chapter! This is the first half of chapter seven, “I love everybody because I love you!”. That fits the majority of the chapter, and how his new official relationship with the Maitlands fills him with so much warmth and joy to spread to others.

- “Gross” by Penelope Scott

For the second half of chapter seven, “But I’m just a chemical compound, You’re just the gun in my mouth”. Good contrast to the other song, and between his relationships. Beetlejuice is just a being, trying his best, and he knows Cyrus will be the “death” of him. This whole song is sooooo Beetlejuice and Cyrus core, it’s insane. Also it goes HARD.

- “October Passed Me By” by girl in red

For chapter eight, “October passed me by just like any month”. Very extremely literal. October passes him by in a blur, as does the rest of the year shortly after. This song is also a personal dagger to the heart for me, and LoopJuice is based on me, so it hurts him too, lol.

- “Never Love an Anchor” by The Crane Wives

For chapter nine, “I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel, I am all the things they might have said to you”. This song is sooo. Beetlejuice. Beetlands. LoopJuice. I’m obsessed with this song. This title is him worrying about what the others think of him, and what they will say about him after he’s gone. How he feels so horrid for what he’s done, and believes wholeheartedly that he deserves it for his actions and such. I love you The Crane Wives!!

- “Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl” by yeule

For chapter ten, “Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that, Now you’re all gone, got your make-up on, and you’re not coming back”. Haha, get it? Because this chapter’s from the POV of a 17 year-old demigirl? Also, it is meant to reflect their relationship and her mental space throughout it. The dream-like quality of the song is meant to mirror how confused and adrift Lydia feels here. Also, “I Saw The TV Glow” is very important to me and to this fic series in general, hence the constant references to it.

- “Wait For Me (Reprise)” from “Hadestown”

For chapter eleven, “Wait for me, I’m comin’, Wait, I’m comin’ with you”. Either from “Wait for Me” or “Wait for Me (Reprise)”, both work! Mostly the first one. Pretty obvious, and blatantly connected to the “Hadestown” / Orpheus and Eurydice through line!

- “Flowers” from “Hadestown”

For chapter twelve, “Flowers, I remember fields of flowers”. Now we’re seeing our Eurydice’s perspective! Very literal. At one point, all Beetlejuice can remember is flowers.

- “Everything Stays (feat. Olivia Olson)” from “Adventure Time”

For chapter thirteen, “Everything stays, But it still changes, Ever so slightly, daily and nightly, In little ways, when everything stays”. Thank you Cosmo! The vibe of the song “Today Today” by Jack Stauber really fits this chapter, as I hear the ending as a happy reunion, and I’ve been planning to use it for this chapter for forever. Unfortunately the lyrics don’t fit, so I went with the next best song! Also, Beej has changed quite a bit. In little ways and big ways, but still he (and everyone) stays.

- “First Love/Late Spring” by Mitski

For chapter fourteen, “So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, Please don't say you love me”. It’s meant to reflect Beej’s crushing guilt and turbulent mental state.

- “Claw Machine” by Sloppy Jane

For chapter fifteen, “But my heart is like a claw machine, It’s only function is to reach, It can't hold on to anything”. This song works well for both LoopJuice and Corpsejuice. I wanted to tie the “I Saw The TV Glow” themes back in again, and to reflect how Beej still holds a negative image of himself and his ability to hold onto relationships. Hopefully, that image changes soon, wink wink! Also this song fucks. It goes so hard. The whole soundtrack for that movie does.

- “Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want” by The Smiths

For chapter sixteen, “So for once in my life, Let me get what I want, Lord knows, it would be the first time”. Because gets what he wants in this chap :) (Also listen to that song and think of LoopJuice if you wanna cry a bit.)

- “You Can Always Come Home” by Toby Fox

For chapter seventeen, of the same title. This is the first and probably only LoopJuice chapter to not have lyrics for the title! Instead, it’s from a song title. It’s meant to be Beetlejuice to Lydia, as well as myself to the reader. You can always return to this fic, if it brings you comfort. It will always be here for you. I highly recommend listening to this song while reading.

Non-titles:

Repeats:

- “Love Bug” by Jack Stauber

- “Abbey” by Mitski

- “4379” by Jack Stauber

- “Friends In Low Places” by Worthikids

- “Look Who’s Inside Again” by Bo Burnham

- “Pearl Diver” by Mitski

- “Goodbye” by Bo Burnham

- “Remember My Name” by Mitski

Angst?:

- “Blood Pump” by Jack Stauber

:(( Just look at the lyrics. That’s my boy.

- “Ocean Breathes Salty” by Modest Mouse

On here for very similar reasons as to why it’s on the Lonely Remnants playlist.

- “Cry Baby” by Melanie Martinez

He is such a piss baby, compared to the other demons. They all think he’s soooo emotional.

- “Bugbear” by chloe moriondo

Sooooo loopjuice coded. I love you “Bugbear”

- “A Deer Mistaking Candles for Headlights” by Crywank

Ooooough. A many lyric song. Hard to dissect this one without going lyric by lyric. I just… listen to it and think heavily of him.

- “Icarus” by Bastille

“Look who’s digging their own grave”, etc. Y’know!

- “Achilles Come Down” by Gang of Youths

Y’know. Y’know.

- “Lonely Day” by System Of A Down

Vibes. Thank you Cosmo!

- “Richter” by Jack Stauber

This one is sooooo. Vibes. “Baby’s in the basement”. He sure is

- “Francis Forever” by Mitski

Mitski my beloved. This one is mostly vibes tbh

- “Dog Nightmare” by Jack Stauber

Vibes. Oh my god. Dread…

- “Mr Backwards” by Jack Stauber

About how he views himself.

- “Feel Better” by Penelope Scott

:( yeah… the lyrics….

- “Bug Like an Angel” by Mitski

My fucked up lonely man. About how he feels about himself being a fuck-up.

- “Moonsickness” by Penelope Scott

This song very much reflects Beej’s mentality on how he sucks and all. And how he loves his family.

- “Dead Weight” by Jack Stauber

He feels like dead weight! This is mostly vibes.

- “Furniture” by Owen Pallett

Fits poor Beej’s trauma with his mother and avoidant tendencies!

- “Coyotes” by Modest Mouse

This song. I can’t. Go into too many specifics. This song is everything to me. I don’t know how to explain it

- “A Sadness Runs Through Him” by The Hoosiers

Pretty self explanatory for our boy! “He could not break surface tension, He looked in the wrong place for redemption”

Beetlands

Same with the Beetlands stuff from the previous playlist!

- “In The Middle” by dodie

- “Sweet Tooth” by Cavetown

- “Honeybee” by Steam Powered Giraffe

- “Would You Be So Kind” by dodie

- “I Do Adore” by Mindy Glendhill

- “Linger” by The Cranberries

- “Strawberry Blonde” by Mitski

- “When He Sees Me” from “Waitress”

- “Parrot” by Stepdad

- “Lemon Boy” by Cavetown

- “Never Love an Anchor” by The Crane Wives

- “I Bet on Losing Dogs” by Mitski

- “Cosmic Love” by Florence + The Machine

- “Tongues & Teeth” by The Crane Wives

- “I’d Like To Walk Around In Your Mind” by Vashti Bunyan

- “She Wants Me (To Be Loved)” by The Happy Fits

- “Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Teng

- “First Love / Late Spring” by Mitski

- “Harness Your Hopes - Sped Up” by Pavement

- “I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)” from “Hercules”

Lydia:

- “Class of 2013” by Mitski

She misses her mama.

- “Skeleton Song” by Kate Nash

This has always been a Beetlejuice and Lydia’s friendship song for me. Fuck. The ending, for me, is about the ritual.

Cyrus:

- “Me and My Husband” by Mitski

To me, this is a song about a woman from the 50s trapped in a loveless marriage, where she’s basically just an accessory for her husband. Fits Beej and Cyrus’ relationship!

- “maggot belly” by awfultune

Oof. This song is… rough. I won’t say too much about it. It is a pretty triggering one for some folks.

Specifics:

- “Lima Bean Man” by Jack Stauber

Remember those scenes where Beej thought Cyrus was going to / had killed Barbara? Yeah…

- “STRAIGHT DOWN” by Worthikids

I can’t tell you much about how this applies to LoopJuice without spoiling the series it comes from, so I won’t say anything. Because I need more people to watch it.

- “Leopard” by Jack Stauber

In my head, very vividly, this song is Beej stumbling and suffering through the second time loop stuff.

- “Our Word” from “36 Questions”

Specifically the ending part, in my head, is Beej being taken, and imagining what the others would say about him. Ouch.

- “Who Was She” from “Centaurworld”

I feel like this one is pretty clear, hehe.

- “The Moon Will Sing” by The Crane Wives

This is specifically about Deb. “I shine only with the light you gave me”, etc.

- “Today Today” by Jack Stauber

Everyone going through the motions while Beej is missing, sort of mentally not there. The happy-sounding ending is him returning.

- “Neath the grove is a heart” by Yaelokre

About Beej slowly forgetting everything in the second loop, mostly. Poor boy.

- “Pink in the Night” by Mitski

RAAAH. I love you Mitksi. There’s so many little things in this song I connect to loopjuice, it’s insane.

- “Coma Baby” by Nichole Dollanganger

Post Beej returning from his second time loop. “You’re just a shell of the boy that you’ve been”. Ouch!

- “I’d Rather Sleep” by Kero Kero Bonito

Reflects what the title says. For a while after his return, all Beej wanted to do was sleep.

- “What Did You Do” by Jack Stauber

“Thanks for taking the time to know my name”.

- “Who Is She? (Reprise)” from “Centaurworld”

This is right before Cyrus takes him.

- “Darren” by Jack Stauber

THIS IS. SO HIM. ALL OF IT. AHHH!! Oh my god.

- “Crocodile Tears” by Jack Stauber

How he feels everything is his fault, and his pain is not deserved.

- “Premonition” by Toby Fox

Okay. Kinda crazy. But I specifically think of this one as right after Beej finds out the terms of his and Cyrus’ Deal, when he’s stumbling through the forest.

- “Nymphs Finding the Head of Orpheus” by Nichole Dollanganger

Mostly for the title. And the vibes, for right after Beej took off his blindfold, before Larry found him.

- “Undertale” by Toby Fox

It feels nice. Like Home.

In story references:

- Chapter 1: “The Moon Will Sing” by The Crane Wives

Line: “She was light. He shone only with the light she cast. She was everything.”

Original lyric: “Bore the shadows that you made, With no light of my own”

This song greatly embodies Deb and Beej’s relationship, and how it was very one-sided and draining for him. He basked in the limited attention and affection she showed, and allowed his own needs and wants to be pushed aside in favor of Deb’s.

- Chapter 1: “Cop Car” by Mitski

Line: “He is cruel. He is gentle. He makes him laugh.”

Original lyric: “I am cruel, I am gentle, I can make you laugh”

“Cop Car” really embodies parts of this chapter and Loopjuice’s character as a whole. He also genuinely saw Cyrus as gentle, until he just… wasn’t.

- Chapter 1: “Gross” by Penelope Scott

Line: “(It was so easy, so salty and gross - )”

Original lyric: “It was so easy with you, so salty and gross”

Like I said before, really embodies Beej and Cyrus’ relationship. It was so much easier to give himself into something “gross”, something “salty” and painful, than to face his real Feelings.

- Chapter 1: “Tongues & Teeth” by The Crane Wives

Line: “I will ruin you. I know that you mean so well- ”

Original lyric: “Oh, I will ruin you” … “I know that you mean so well, But I am not a vessel for your good intent”

An extremely Beetlejuice / Beetlands coded song, fairly literal. I listen to that song sooo much and think of them.

- Chapter 1: “Curses” by The Crane Wives

Line: “But rain is washing the blood away. The smoke clears.”

Original lyric: “Every word I say is kindling, But the smoke clears when you're around”

The Crane Wives in general are very LoopJuice / Beetlejuice / beetlands coded to me. This was meant to be a nod to the song, but it and the song in general also applies to him very heavily.

- Chapter 2: “Feel Better” by Penelope Scott

Line: “Lydia could tell, then, that she certainly had a heart.”

Original lyric: “But when my head hit my cheap pillow, I could tell I had a heart”

This song as a whole fit both Beetlejuice and Lydia so well. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell you have a heart. Then it reminds you.

- Chapter 2: “Just For Once” from “Black Friday”

Line: “Just for a moment, your life could be just what you wanted.” … “Just for once, just for a moment.”

Original lyric: “But just for once, my life could be just what I wanted”

Mostly just because the song goes SO HARD, and is thematically relevant here.

- Chapter 2: “When He Sees Me” from “Waitress”

Line: “You give your all, and you get so much given back.”

Original lyric: “What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?”

Suuuuuuuper Beetlands song, for obvious reasons. Also, again, thematically relevant.

- Chapter 2: “Love Love Love” by The Mountain Goats

Line: “The things you do for love come back to you one by one.”

Original lyric: “But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one”

It is one of the gentler songs on the LoopJuice playlists, and reflects more feelings of acceptance and uneasy peace.

- Chapter 2: “Personal” by Stars

Line: “Don’t be too much. Heavy is the cost.”

Original lyric: “Sorry to be heavy, but heavy is the cost, Heavy is the cost”

Give this song a listen. It doesn’t quite fit LoopJuice, but the idea of “heavy is the cost” fits well.

- Chapter 2: “Please Eat” by Nichole Dollanganger

Line: “Parts of you are already gone.”

Original lyric: “There's parts of you already gone I can never revive”

LoopJuice doesn’t have an eating disorder similar to the one this song is about, but the line hits hard and is very thematically relevant.

- Chapter 3: “Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Teng

Line: “Oh no. … Oh no, not now. … Please, not now. … But, of course, some sort of ridiculous “Feeling” had to come along.”

Original lyric: “Oh no, not now, Please not now, I've just settled into the glass half empty, made myself at home, And so why now?, Oh, please not now, I just stopped believing in happy endings, harbors of my own”

A very pivotal song in the playlist, and a very pivotal moment. That “FUCK I just settled for a shitty life, and now I’m feeling Feelings??”. Y’know!

- Chapter 7: “Like Real People Do” by Hozier

Line: “Not just slightly sardonic or glibly nihilistic, but happy. Like real people do.”

Original lyric: “We should just kiss like real people do”

Mostly just a reference, since it’s a Beetlands song to me, and I love Hozier.

- Chapter 8: “Sweet Hibiscus Tea” by Penelope Scott

Line: “Exhaustion weighed down their limbs, the heaviness of it all threatening to crack their collarbone as it settled down heavily on their shoulders.”

Original lyric: “The bones are melting, the skeleton is ash, The clavicle detaches and falls with a deafening crash”

This song is very Beetlejuice, but also the dread of this part fits very well.

- Chapter 8: “Never Love an Anchor” by The Crane Wives

Line: “Exhaustion weighed down their limbs, the heaviness of it all threatening to crack their collarbone as it settled down heavily on their shoulders.”

Original lyric: “There is love that doesn't have a place to rest, But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders”

Beetlands. Beetlejuice. What else can I say?

- Chapter 8: “The Bed Song” by Amanda Palmer

Line: “They all sat in a semi-comfortable silence, the ghosts’ arms wrapped around his midsection, Adam’s lips in his hair while Barbara rested her cheek on his collarbone.”

Original lyric: “We have one filthy pillow to share and your lips are in my hair”

Used to be one of my favorite sad songs, but now I know the singer’s a piece of shit. I wanted to highlight the sweet intimacy of the scene.

- Chapter 9: “Dead Girls” by Penelope Scott

Line: “The living need attention too, Ash. It’s okay.”

Original lyrics: “And if all you ever see are dead girls, If all you hear is terrible news, Maybe it's not all about the dead girls, Maybe it's more about you, The living need attention too”

A very important song on Ash’s playlist. Can’t say too much more.

- Chapter 9: “you smell of dead flowers” by vslush, cover by Cliesel

Line: “(How could no one see it? He felt so happy, but still he felt pieces of him slowly dying and rotting away. How could no one see that he was rotten? That he was dying?)”

Original lyric: “Wanted to scream, wanted to shout, how did you not know?, How did you not realize I was rotten?”

- Chapter 9: “Yo, Girl” from “Heathers”

Line: “ “Hello, pet.” Time’s up.”

Original lyric: “Too late, he got in” … “Knock knock!”

Just a reference to a musical I love and also to highlight the dread Beej feels here!

- Chapter 9: “I’m Your Man” by Mitski

Line: “One day you'll figure me out, I'll meet judgment by the hounds” … “I’m sorry I was the one you loved.” … “People always gave me love, Others were never to blame after all”

Original lyric: (just the same thing!)

This song is. So many things to me. These lines are very literal for Beej at the time, but also. Auuuugh. Oh my god. So Beetlejuice core.

- Chapter 11: “Livin’ It Up On Top” from “Hadestown”

Line: “Is she living it up on top?”

Original lyric: “Where are we livin' it?, Livin' it up on top”

Just another “Hadestown” reference! :)

- Chapter 12: “Who Is She (Reprise)” / “Who Was She” from “Centaurworld”

Line: “What did they think of him, now that he was gone? What were they saying?”

Original lyric: “I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Rider. I'm sorry I left the way I did. If you knew what I was gonna do you would've tried to stop me. At least all of you are safe now. It's over. I wonder what you all must be thinking. What are you saying about me, now that I'm gone?”

Those songs heavily inspired these scenes, so I wanted to give them a little reference!

- Chapter 15: “The Bed Song” by Amanda Palmer

Line: “Beetlejuice just laid there, mostly paralyzed, staring up at the strange glowing shapes dotting his ceiling.”

Original lyric: “Now we're both mostly paralyzed, Don't know how long we've been lying here in fear, Too afraid to even feel”

Mostly meant to parallel how Beej is stuck in a place where he could easily get out with help. Like the ending of the song, “I would have told you, if you’d only asked me”

You Can Always Come Home

- “Army Dreamers in 29edo” by Deister Orchestra

Purely vibes. “Army Dreamers” isn’t really a Loopjuice song, more Corpsejuice. (Perhaps in LITPT tho)

- “L’amore dice Ciao (Main Titles) - Remastered” by Armando Trovajoli

Again, vibes. Gentle and happy and twinged with a little sadness.

- “Love Story” by The Newton Brothers

I won’t explain this because that would be spoiling “The Haunting of Bly Manor”, and I refuse to do that. If you know, you know.

- “You Can Always Come Home” by Toby Fox

Both for the title and the gentle, welcoming feeling the song gives.

- “In Our Bedroom After The War” by Stars

For all of the characters as a whole. I have a fun mental animatic for this one. About finally feeling like the “war” is over, and things are “beginning”.

- “Will You Remember?” by The Cranberries

A bit of a reminder about Beej going to forget everything, even his wedding and his beloved sister.

- “It’s You, It’s Me, It’s Us” by Reinaeiry

Again, “The Haunting of Bly Manor”.

- “Remember Me (Lullaby)” from “Coco”

Vibes once again. Also, because Beej and Lydia have to be apart from each other.

- “Pilvet liikkuu, minä en” by Yona

I don’t know any of the words to this song because I don’t speak the language, but the vibes fit Loopjuice so well. The last line translates to, “And I don’t wish anything else on my journey but, Happiness”. Oough.

- “Love Like You (feat. Rebecca Sugar)” from “Steven Universe”

C’mon.

- “Everything Stays (feat. Olivia Olson)” from “Adventure Time”

C’mon.

- “That Distant Shore (feat. Jennifer Paz)” from “Steven Universe”

C’MON! Sooooo loopjuice core, the lyrics are. Oh my god.

- “Strawberry Blond” by Mitski

Repeat for Beetlands reasons.

- “Pink in the Night” by Mitski

“I glow pink in the night in my room, I've been blossoming alone over you”. Need I say more?

- “Ready Now” by dodie

BEETLANDS. THE WORDS. THE GENTLE MUSIC. AHHH!! “You saw through me all this time, I'd forgotten people are kind, I was hurting and you knew, So you showed me what to do” … “You said "I will listen, tell me it all, You don't like the ending?, Then we'll find one that's yours", Oh, how did you know?, That's all we need?, A promise of hope, Is enough to feel free”

- “Samson” by Regina Spektor

Mostly for the sweet, loving tone. Also Beetlands as fuck.

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

Ji'Ren had warned Meteril and Gogh not to touch the food he'd left on the table.

It had been left on the doorstep, and while he did not want to throw away a possible gift from a friend, and he did not believe any enemies knew where he lived, he also did not want to risk himself or one he cared for eating food he didn't know the origins of.

It was a basket of various pastries, but they all should be fine for a while as long as the cloth that had been over the basket remained there.

And Ji'Ren hadn't been expecting visitors, so for the meantime he let it slip his mind. It was rare he had the time to remain home for any extended period and he intended to enjoy it, not worry about some mystery sweets.

Currently he was in the basement, organizing his collection of various armors and weapons, and thinking about what to switch Umbra with...

That thing's incessant chatter was getting hard to deal with.

Maybe the Bloodskal blade? ... Or maybe a regular glass greatsword that didn't risk sending waves of energy at his traveling companions if one of them stepped the wrong way.

His thoughts were interrupted by his roommate's voice from upstairs.

"Who the hell are you?! Get out of my house! Are you eating my fucking food?!"

He just grabbed whatever sword was closest and booked it up those stairs two at a time, not even processing how familiar the voice that spoke back was.

He stared at the scene in front of him, Meteril had grabbed a knife off the table and was brandishing it at an almost amused Nazir.

Ji'Ren stood there, catching his breath, mildly bewildered because, "How do you know where Ji'Ren lives?!"

"You know this asshole?" Meteril asked, hesitantly putting down the knife.

"He is a recurring pain." Ji'Ren growled, glaring when Nazir chuckled. He looked quite pleased with himself, and Ji'Ren would love to wipe that smug look off his face.

"Same way you found the sanctuary." Oh.

"Zane." He sighed, glaring at Nazir, "What do you want?"

"What do I want? Is it not enough for me to want to visit you? Ji'Ren I thought we were friends!" Oh, to push his buttons. Makes sense.

"Sparring partners, not friends. You are too obnoxious." Ji'Ren grumbled, "Do you drink coffee?" He moved to make Nazir some anyway, "How do you like it?"

"Dark like my soul, if we weren't friends you wouldn't be such a kind host right now." He sat down with the pastry he'd apparently been eating when Meteril walked in.

"One cup of warm milk, coming right up."

Meteril snickered, seeming a bit confused but more at ease now, "Could I get some too? Coffee, not warm milk."

Ji'Ren just nodded, adjusting the amount of grounds to make enough for the three of them.

Meteril took hers and thanked him, leaving the room. He did make Nazir's black, and added cream and sugar to his own before sitting down next to him and handing him his cup.

Between him and Meteril there were usually plenty of baked goods in the house, so he hadn't questioned remotely where Nazir had gotten a pastry from.

Until he saw him move the cover off the basket to reach for another.

"Do not eat that." Ji'Ren said quickly, and from the look Nazir gave him he doubted his own expression hid the panic he felt.

"... What's. Wrong with them?" He asked.

"They were left on the doorstep this morning, Ji'Ren is not sure who left them or if they are safe." He took a deep breath, "How many have you had? How long ago?"

"Well. I just finished my second. I had the first a bit over an hour ago." If Nazir was worried, he did a great job not showing it, and bringing up the question of how long he'd been in Ji'Ren's house before Meteril found him, "I guess you'll find out if they're safe soon, huh?" He paused, "I should. Stick around for a couple hours just in case."

"That is for the best." Ji'Ren agreed, "This one would hate for something to happen if the pastries were tampered with and you went out alone right now."

"They were probably fine, but you can't be too careful. So, what were you up to in the basement before I showed up?"

They chatted for a while, long enough for Ji'Ren to begin to believe that many the pastries had been fine. After all it wouldn't be the first time his paranoia had gotten the better of him...

And then Nazir very suddenly and drastically took a turn for the worse.

And it was exactly what Ji'Ren had feared.

Of course when it happened to him it was somehow administered in his sleep, watching the poison take hold of someone was so much worse than just experiencing it for himself.

It started with just... Brain fog, seemingly, Nazir seemed a bit distracted and unfocused, a bit tired. Ji'Ren had noticed what was going on, he'd insisted on moving Nazir into a bed to watch over him.

And watch him deteriorate. Feverish, weak, delirious, like watching what had happened to him in third person but worse.

He tried all the tricks he knew to get poison out of one's system, spells and medicines and potions, none of it seemed to work.

And days passed.

And Nazir still hadn't improved.

And Ji'Ren sent Gogh to find Marcurio, and buy a horse if Gogh could communicate that to him.

It'd be hard to transport Nazir on foot in this state, and if Ji'Ren couldn't help, he had to get him to someone who hopefully could.

Marcurio had. Plenty of questions, which made sense. After all he had no idea who Nazir was, or why he was important enough for Ji'Ren to be willing to do what they were doing.

"... Do you think Neloth's going to make you do more runaround for him?" Marcurio asked as they approached Windhelm.

"... It is to be expected, Ji'Ren is requesting his assistance and money is of little issue to a man like him, so a favor in return would make sense."

"... And what if he wants another black book?" Marcurio asked, watching Ji'Ren stable the horse, and gently help Nazir off of it. The man could barely stand, most of his speech was just mumbled nonsense. He couldn't stand on his own, most of his weight ending up supported by Ji'Ren despite the foot or so of height difference.

"... He will not. Ji'Ren told him. If he ever helps him again it will not involve Mora. This one is not dealing with him again." Ji'Ren wasn't so sure of his own words. If Neloth did want someone to retrieve another black book for him...

Well. The ball certainly wouldn't be in Ji'Ren's court for this interaction.

Once they finally got to Tel Mithryn, with Ji'Ren ending up carrying Nazir most of the way, he found himself stopping for a moment at the door to Neloth's tower. He did not want to do this. To go begging that egotistical asshole for help again.

But nonetheless, he took a deep breath, walked in, and let the magical elevator lift him to the main floor.

Neloth was reading some books at the moment, seemingly researching something.

Ji'Ren walked over and cleared his throat.

No response.

"Neloth?"

Absolutely nothing. He must have been lost in what he was doing.

Or ignoring him.

"Neloth!"

The dunmer snapped out of his reading and looked at Ji'Ren, then at the incapacitated, half conscious assassin in his arms.

"I thought you said if you never saw my face again it'd be too soon?" He raised an eyebrow, there's was a slight smug edge to his expression that made Ji'Ren want to change his mind and leave just as quick as he'd arrived. But Nazir needed help. So he didn't.

"... This one. Needs your help."

"What? Skyrim's archmage of the college of Winterhold can't make a cure disease potion?"

"Nazir is not ill, he is poisoned... And normal methods to help aren't working."

Neloth hesitated, sighing, "Set up a place for him to be somewhere out of the way, I hope you know I'm not helping you with this for nothing."

"Ji'Ren expected as much... Thank you, Neloth." He went to find a place to set up a sleeping bag for Nazir to lay on, he was surprised when he tried to set Nazir down, and found him clinging on to him, as well as he could in his state.

"Where-where are you-why are you leaving-" Fear and delirium... He didn't know what was happening around him. It was the most coherent thing he'd said in hours...

"Ji'Ren is right here, it is okay." He gently removed Nazir's hands from his armor, wiping the sweat off his forehead, "You are safe, this place is safe, Ji'Ren and a... Friend are going to find a way to fix this. Promise." He assured, he cursed his past self for claiming they weren't friends when Nazir held weakly to his wrist.

"Am I dying?"

"No, no you are not. You will be fine. This one will make sure of it." Ji'Ren said, "Ji'Ren will be back by your side before you know I'm gone. Try to rest, please..." He took Nazir's hand in his and squeezed it lightly, before getting up and going back over to Neloth.

"So, what information do you have on this?" Neloth asked.

"... Admittedly little, it does not respond to antidotes, is long lasting, and targets both the mind and body. It causes hallucinations, fever, weakness, and delirium."

"... Nothing of what it's made of? What it's called? Ji'Ren I expected you of all people to be more thorough than this." Neloth sounded mildly annoyed, grabbing a couple books of his shelves regardless.

"Ji'Ren brought something with the poison baked into it, it is how his... Friend ingested it... It was. Likely meant to poison Ji'Ren instead." He pulled a wrapped pastry out of his bag, and handed it to Neloth.

"Better than nothing." He declared, "Who's trying to kill you this time?"

"The Thalmor."

"Hm. Makes sense. I'll see what I can do."

A handful of hours later, Neloth had *hopefully* done what Ji'Ren couldn't in days.

"Get him to drink this, and then we can discuss what you owe me." The wizard said, handing over a bottle. Ji'Ren curtly nodded, pausing before,

"Neloth... Thank you." That hurt to say.

"Yes well, don't thank me yet." He waved a hand and went back to his other work. Ji'Ren shook his head and went over to where Nazir was still asleep.

"Nazir?" He gently nudged him, "It is Ji'Ren, can you sit up for him?" Nazir seemed to be trying to process for a moment as he woke up, before, with help, managing to follow the request. "Thank you, this one needs you to drink something, okay?"

"Wh... What. Is it?"

"Medicine." Ji'Ren opened the bottle and handed it to him, watching him closely as he drank to ensure he didn't choke. He softly thanked him as he took the bottle again, "How are you feeling?"

"... Awful." Makes sense. Hopefully that would change soon.

"... This one is. Sorry you had to be involved in his mess."

"Not your fault." He muttered, leaning a bit heavier on Ji'Ren, "'m glad you're here."

They were barely friends.

But Nazir, maybe just due to his current state, trusted Ji'Ren to watch over him while he was unable to watch over himself.

Ji'Ren truly wished he'd realized that he did wish to be friends before this. Nazir could be obnoxious and cocky and maybe the biggest smart ass Ji'Ren had ever met.

But he was also skilled, reliable, funnier than Ji'Ren would openly admit. He valued Nazir's company.

And he desperately hoped Neloth's cure worked, and if it didn't that this nightmare would pass with time.

It was less than half an hour before he noticed Nazir had nodded off again, maybe some sedative was included in the antidote? Maybe Neloth was just banking on Nazir being able to wait this out and a sedative was all it was. Nonetheless Ji'Ren was helpless to do anything but trust that it was doing its job.

So he laid Nazir down in the sleeping bag again, and went to speak to Neloth.

"... What do you want this time?"

"I think you know that already." Neloth replied matter-of-factly. And Ji'Ren wanted to just run and never come back to this divines forsaken ash covered rock.

"No. Not again. Anything else, not that." Ji'Ren hissed.

Neloth simply handed him a map, with a location marked on it, "This will lead you to where the Black Book is. I'd like to remind you after the way you spoke me to last time, I didn't have to allow you in Tel Mithryn, let alone clean up your mess." Neloth gave him a challenging stare.

Ji'Ren stared back for a moment before his shoulders slumped, he took the map and turned towards the exit. He saw Marcurio and Gogh both get up.

"Marcurio, stay with Nazir."

"But-"

"Ji'Ren would rather he not wake up alone, this one will be fine. He knows this song and dance by now."

The two stared at each other for a moment.

Both knew Marcurio's concern had nothing to do with Ji'Ren's physical safety.

Ji'Ren was too proud to let Marcurio watch him fall apart again. If he expected Gogh to listen he would've told him to stay behind as well.

Marcurio hesitated, "... Stay safe, please."

"Ji'Ren always does."

"Seriously, Ren. Stay safe. Gogh, make sure he does." The goblin nodded, as if he were just given the most vital mission on Nirn. Ji'Ren chuckled.

"This one will be fine, he will see you soon."

When Nazir woke up he felt. Significantly better. Still not great. But a lot less like he was going insane and dying at the same time. So that was a fucking relief.

It took him a moment to fully piece together where he was and what had happened...

Somewhere on Solstheim. Ji'Ren had taken him here to find someone who could help... Well. Apparently he'd been successful.

He remembered Ji'Ren setting him on the floor in here, and the rather embarrassing display of him grabbing his arm. And he remembered drinking whatever the person they'd come to had made.

And now Ji'Ren was... Seemingly gone.

The man they'd traveled here with, presumably a friend of Ji'Ren's, was leaning against a rail surrounding a hole in the middle of the room. The man wore ebony armor, and had a sword and bow on his back.

"... Where's Ji'Ren?" He asked, sitting up, it didn't make sense that he was just gone.

The man turned towards him, "Oh you're up-Ji'Ren's doing something for Neloth. How are you feeling?"

"Better-who's Neloth?" Nazir paused, "Is that who made the antidote?"

"Yep."

"... What is Ji'Ren doing for him?" Nazir asked, "And why?"

"Just an errand, as payment for helping with your antidote." Marcurio seemed... Far too tense for that to be the full truth, watching towards what Nazir had put together to be some sort of entrance. Whatever errand the dragonborn had been sent on, it was a dangerous one.

... Yet Ji'Ren had left one of his traveling companions to watch over him.

He didn't expect himself to be that important to him, they weren't exactly close after all.

But Ji'Ren had stayed by his side and tried what he could to help him, and when it didn't work, he'd taken Nazir all the way to Solstheim to find something that would. To find someone who could. And was doing Sithis knows what to repay that help.

Maybe Ji'Ren was just a far sweeter person than Nazir had envisioned. Maybe the great and fearsome dragonborn didn't just fulfill destiny for a title and glory. Maybe he'd just done it because it was the right thing to do. Maybe he had just stayed by Nazir's side and been gentle and kind in Nazir's weakest moments because that was the type of person under the power hunger and overconfidence. Nazir was a man who's attachments were purposeful and carefully picked, he couldn't imagine doing the same for a person he didn't even consider a friend. Help, maybe, if he had a reason, but not so tenderly. Not possibly risking his life to do so. Nazir didn't like how intently Marcurio was waiting for someone to come through the entrance, like he half didn't expect it to happen, or like it should have happened already.

Maybe in all the places Nazir was cold, Ji'Ren was the opposite.

At that moment, a door opening was heard, shortly followed by Ji'Ren and Gogh floating up, onto a platform.

Ji'Ren didn't take his helmet off, but Nazir could tell just from his body language that while he didn't appear to be badly injured in any way, he most definitely was not in a good mood.

Gogh was watching him, and Marcurio instantly went over to check on him. They spoke quietly, too quiet for Nazir to make out what they were saying, but he wasn't sure if he'd ever heard Ji'Ren's voice so tense...

What did Neloth make him do?

He finally got up, going to join the rest of the group, and hating how Ji'Ren went dead silent as he approached. Whatever happened he didn't want Nazir to know.

"Are you feeling better?" He sounded so worried.

"Thanks to you, what did Neloth have you do?" He asked.

"It is not important, if you are feeling well again we should likely head back to Skyrim after Ji'Ren speaks to Neloth." Ji'Ren paused before, "... This one is. Glad you are okay." And then he pushed past Marcurio and Nazir, walking over to a dunmer Nazir had put together to be Neloth.

"... Alright then." Marcurio sighed, and him and Gogh went down the lift, likely to meet Ji'Ren outside.

Nazir lingered.

Ji'Ren attempted to stand so Nazir couldn't see what he was showing Neloth.

But Ji'Ren was short. And Nazir saw... Enough over his shoulder. A thick leather bound book, a strange figure of tentacles and eyes on the cover... The pages were yellowed and old, and when the wizard opened it to make his copy, the strange runes and figures on the pages would have made no sense right side up, let alone upsidedown from where he was currently viewing it.

But it was clearly deadric in origin.

Nazir had never seen a black book in person, he had heard Festus talk about them once or twice. Tomes of great knowledge, holding great danger for those who pursue them.

Gateways to apocrypha.

Neloth handed back the book, gave Ji'Ren a coin purse, and went back to what he was doing. Ji'Ren quickly shoved the thing in his bag and turned, locking eyes with Nazir for a moment.

"Was that-"

"It would be wise to ensure we do not miss the next boat to Skyrim. We should start moving." Once more pushing past, Ji'Ren went down the lift, and Nazir saw him rush out the door, probably assuming he'd be followed.

Well.

Nazir had no business staying in this wizard tower.

The walk to Raven Rock was silent and tense, and the boarding of the boat much the same.

Once it fell night, Nazir saw most of the crew go below deck to rest, and Ji'Ren was staring into the water, leaning over a railing far from the few others still up top.

He walked over, and cleared his throat. "Mind if I stand with you?"

"Not at all." Ji'Ren glanced over at him, "... Are there any lingering effects of the posion?" He still seemed worried for him.

"Nothing I'm not sure will clear up once I get home and get some rest." He assured, "..." He paused, "I. Misjudged you. When we first met."

The Khajiit chuckled.

"I'm trying to be genuine. I saw you at your worst and made my opinion of you based on that. And I was... Wrong about you. And I've been wrong about you on several fronts since." He said, turning his own gaze to the water. He felt... Guilty for how harshly he'd judged Ji'Ren for the state Zane had initially brought him to the sanctuary in. Now that he'd experienced the same poison, knew what it was capable of reducing him to, he couldn't imagine being in the shoes Ji'Ren had been during his own experience. At the mercy of people who want you and your loved ones dead. And then having to recover from that in a strange place, with people you don't know who don't want you there.

He had realized since that Ji'Ren wasn't weak by nature. Now he was realizing even in that moment, he was far from it.

He didn't have to look to feel Ji'Ren's eyes on him.

"... Ji'Ren. Lied. When he said you were not his friend." He said softly, "You are, and Ji'Ren is honored to have you as one."

Nazir couldn't help a small smile, "Strange timing for that but... Thanks."

"... This one. Is sorry it took almost losing you to realize how much he values your company."

There was a brief pause between the two, before Nazir spoke.

"I'm honored to have you as a friend too."