#god the sheer POTENTIAL though😭😭

[chessere]

Recently became ill about akeshima again I've never been into a ship so persistent to remain in my brain my entire life I just LOVE akeshima... the 'us against the world' vibes they have...... (very delusional)

Akechi could probably see himself in mishima to some degree. He was a nobody. Ignored. Bullied. Abused. On top of that made to do dirty works for his abuser. And his parents did nothing about it. They have similar goals of being acknowledged and both envy the protagonist for having something they wanted. Fuck. If you ignore his general lameness mishima IS akechi if he were powerless.

In my head initially they'd speak specifically to engage in psychological warfare- mishima trying to sabotage the anti-phantom thieves detective price and akechi trying to take advantage of the phansite admin. Boy I sure hope they don't get too attached to each other through intimate understanding and feeding into each other's need for validation and acknowledgement!!

Personally I like to think that mishima saw right through akechi (because he's good at reading people and atmosphere) and told him to drop the bullshit on their first ever meeting too jcjdjjfjdd... And that's why akechi has been his true mean self to him ever since. Mishima would take that over the fake princely farce anytime though. Major point too. He isn't scared of mishima leaving him once he know the real akechi goro because mishima never liked the face he put on for the public in the first place <3 (this does not apply to the killings. He became MORE scared of mishima leaving him if he ever knew about the killings and what he did to the protagonist)

He does mellow out the more he spends time with this little loser though but still. It's the real him. He actually genuinely grew fond of this critter and that's probably going to be his downfall but good god if anything happens to mishima he will kill everyone in the room and then himself

OH YEAH I FORGOT. THEM CALLING EACH OTHER BY FIRST NAMES TOO. THESE TWO ARE THE ONLY STUDENT CONFIDANTS OUT THERE ALWAYS CALLED BY THEIR LAST NAMES

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello.

Listen, I'm still not over ep 11 yet. AND THEN THEY GIVE ME THIS I- *muffled screaming*

Anyways, welcome to my crack posts. =D

Warning: long post 😊😅 (I somehow took even more screenshots than last time 😭)

I knew something like this would happen hehe

Also-

Don't lie, Peem, he'd already won your heart the moment he said "Na, krab" with those puppy eyes

I love how despite thinking they're enemies up till this point, Tan immediately jumps on the ship the moment he learns it exists.

Fang: cute. <3

Q: cutee. <33

Shy babygirl Peem has my whole heart 🥺🫶🏼

Yeah? Anyone specific you want to draw a portrait of, Peem? Someone from Engineering, maybe? Someone who confessed to you in front of all your combined friends just last night? No? 👀

This smile. This goddamn smile. I get you, Peem, I totally get you.

Q peeking in small into the bag is so accurate 😭

As I'd said in my previous post: "Right in front of my salad?!" and "Something very LGBT just happened to me o.o"

NOSE BOOP

I love nose boops hehe

[Phum: I have to go to class.]

You actually go to class?! *pikachu meme face*

Q's face perfectly expresses my feeling, and I'm definitely saving these as meme pics

Peem's plan to be hit on backfired so fast so hard 😭

Poor boy went into shock 😭

Peem is never hearing the end of this from Q. Never.

I love their friendship though. Besties forever. <3

Toey looks so excited here 😭🫶🏼

He's definitely over the moon that his two beloved hias finally realized they like each other (and of course he manifested this wdyem)

Throwing stones from inside a glass house, huh Q?

You're just as bad as, if not worse than Peem.

*shaking my head fondly* these boys are so whipped for their baes

This ep gave me a lot of meme pic ehehe

Why so surprised, Peem? You were the one telling Phum to flirt on you, why so shy now huh?

Oh, Aunt Pui knows. She's just trying to help her nephew get a nice boyfriend hehe

Also- learning the family business early on? Nice move, Phum.

I'm pretty sure Aunt Pui will accept Phum as family the very instant they start dating.

Actually- she probably already has.

What will you be tying next? The knot?? (I am so so happy I can make that joke and actually mean it now.)

Oh, and I love love love their dynamics. I'm always looking for verse because I don't like active power dynamics, but this show really delivered on it. There's always a push and pull, but throughout, they're equals. Yes, even through that slave era (remember how exactly Peem came to be his slave?). It did start off with a slight imbalance, but it evened out pretty fast (because Phum is incapable of not being the cutest clingy little puppy for more than ten minutes and Peem is weak for it).

PhumPeem/PeemPhum is giving me so much that I'd thought I'd almost never get from BLs (there are a few other examples, I think, but this is probably my topmost).

I don't know if y'all have noticed, but Phum is deliberately soft and is often using polite pronouns for the last two episodes.

It's just... they're so pretty 😭

This scene is just >>>

He-

HE LEARNED LATTE ART JUST TO USE THIS LINE WITH PEEM I'M DYING OH GODS

Phum is 200% committed. Other upcoming BL romantic interests, please take notes.

Jokes aside, what started out as a potential red flag (even two years ago, this relationship would have been very very different) turned into the greenest flag (with a side of childhood trauma).

Did he just-

He almost confessed!!! So close!!

Also- please give me them as boyfriends already, I'm on my hands and knees. But can you imagine what they'll be like when they actually start dating...?

...

I CAN'T WAIT. GIMME NOW. *grabby hands*

This scene made me speechless. Ep 12 was full of beautiful, absolutely stunning scenes, but this was what took my breath - his cute smile that lights up his whole face, his "Pai, krab" and the sheer relief when Peem asks him if he wants to go.

For a moment there, he thought Peem would leave, just like all the people in his life. He knows it wouldn't be permanent, but it's hard to get rid of such an old, deep-rooted fear.

But Peem, unknowingly, immediately waves it away by asking him if he wanted to come with. The only thing is... I don't think it was that unknowing.

I'll end part 1 on this note. Part 2 will be posted soon!

If you've reached this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a doughnut 🍩

And here are my previous We Are posts.

[prettyinpurplelights]

COME HOME

in high hopes for tomorrow’s psg game but also missing kylian and still feeling like a proud mom after his achievements this weekend so all of that kinda almagamated into this whatever this is to keep y’all off my back abt pt 6 of care (for now) 😭

*********

You wait nervously in the bed, your thumb nesting between your lips as your teeth chip away at the nail anxiously. So much had happened since you’d last seen him, almost a week ago. The firm had sent you to New Delhi to woo your new potential clients, a task that had taken you far too long, your planned two day trip extending into six, nearly seven before you’d managed to get the oil execs to finally close the deal. They somehow found a problem with every contract you’d drafted, anyone would’ve given up after the 75th hour and you had a feeling the firm knew this, hence why they sent you, their hardest, most immovable closer. And the most annoying part about all of this was you still weren’t done, you were due in London tomorrow, to present everything to the head office there before you’d be able to finally go back home to Paris. The one and only saving grace about this was the 7 hour layover in Munich before your flight to England, which couldn’t have come at a much better and more convenient time. Your phone pings in your lap and you pick it up, reading the text that had appeared.

we’re almost back from the press conference, did you get in okay?

You unlock your phone to reply.

yeah, the front desk were great. thanks for your help again.

always.

he still has no clue?

not one 😌

you’re awesome. i owe you.

make me your world famous carbonara next time i come over and we’re even 🍽️

You laugh as you type out your response.

you got it sergio 😂

You place the phone facedown on the bedside table, standing up and straightening out your pencil skirt. You move to the mirror opposite the bed, raking your fingers through your shoulder length hair, trying to bring some life to the curls that had lost their volume after 9 hours of being pressed onto the headrest of the airplane seat and another 3 hours on the hotel bed when you’d knocked out the second you saw the pillows. Reaching into your blouse pocket after you finally feel satisfied with your hair, you take out your lipgloss, opening the tube and spreading some of the shiny liquid along your plump bottom lip when you hear the door open, his voice drifting into the room as his laughter pulls your mouth into a smile.

God, you’d missed him.

“Putain!” He shouts at whoever was on the other side of the door.

“Good night! Save that energy for Bayern Kylian.” The other voice teases and you watch him flip its owner off. His back is still facing you as he closes the door, he was yet to turn around and notice you.

“Language Kyky.” You stand with your hand on your hips, a faux stern look on your face as he finally spins and jumps, a surprised gasp escaping his throat.

“What the fuc-“ Then he stops himself when his eyes zero in on you, drinking you in and realising who you are. “Y/N??”

“Hello 201.” You grin and he drops his backpack to the floor, rushing to engulf you in a hug as he lifts you off the floor instead.

“What are you doing here?” He says in a small voice, almost as though he was speaking to himself.

“Had to see my ooof-“ You’re unable to finish your sentence because he slants his lips over yours unexpectedly, heavy and hard, and you open your mouth to welcome him as your fingers grip his shoulders. His hands untuck your blouse from your skirt, slipping under the sheer material to hold your waist. You eventually grow light headed as he continues to kiss you passionately, needing to replenish the air he drew out of your lungs so you pull away. His chest rises and falls as he takes in deep breaths of his own, looking at you beneath his lashes.

“Sorry.” He smiles sheepishly but his eyes roam your face as though he is trying to commit every inch of your skin to memory before you fade away again. It’s intense, too intense and you can no longer hold his gaze, feeling your stomach turn to jelly so you drop your head to his chest, your ear pressed against his heart and he holds you there.

“I missed you.” He whispers into your hair, his nose nuzzling your earlobe as he breathes you in and you scrunch your nose, pulling your head back to face him. His arms are crossed behind your back over your blouse so your frame still leans against his from your upper body down.

“Ugh, don’t do that. I just spent almost half a day on a stuffy flight and I haven’t washed my hair since the last time you saw me. I forgot to take my shampoo with me and you know how those white ass hotel toiletries dry my hair out. I probably smell bad all over.”

“You smell like home.” And to make his point clearer, he dips his head to your neck, inhaling and exhaling deeply, his warm breath tickling you. You push against his chest, laughing and he pouts as the cool air from the room replaces the feeling of you against his body instead.

“Well you definitely smell like grass and sweat.”

He shrugs, throwing off his windbreaker.

“Didn’t get the chance to shower before the press conference. I was gonna jump in as soon as I got back.”

“Dang, so I interrupted something?” He looks up at you from a bent position as he pulls his socks off.

“Perfect timing actually. You get an exclusive performance.”

“Is that right?” You suck your bottom lip into your teeth as you watch him shimmy out of his shorts so he’s standing in just his boxers and long sleeved thermal. Both tight as hell and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“And private backstage access.” He flicks his head towards a door you guess leads to the bathroom. “Join me.”

You twist your lips to the side, humming as though you’re deep in thought when he pulls the thermal over his head, now staring at you with nothing covering his tight torso, and your breath catches in your throat a little bit; he’s truly a sight to behold.

“Last chance.” He smirks, holding his hand out and there’s no way you could say no to his dimples, although you knew you were following him into that shower, dimples or no dimples. You stretch your arm, your palm landing on his and he closes his fingers over the back of your hand pulling you flush to him.

——

You end up in the bath again a while after the shower, Kylian between your legs as you run your manicured nails over his scalp in a fashion you know he loves. He had ordered room service for the both of you, not wanting to go down for dinner with the rest of the squad for the fear of losing out on whatever little time he had with you before you left. Kylian had thought it would somehow be possible to soak chocolate sauce through his skin as he wasn’t actually able to eat it or his nutritionist would have his head.

“Kylian that’s literally impossible.” You’d laughed as he spread the spoon covered in sauce over his bare chest.

“If the hagfish can do it so can I. Shhh.”

“What the fuck is a hagfish?” He laid back on the bed, his arms behind his head and his eyes closed.

“Some weird eel thing that absorbs food through its skin.”

“And you know that how?” You’d shifted so you were lying between his legs, your hands laced over his stomach and you rested your chin on top of them, watching him.

“Vitinha was shouting random facts he was googling on the jet here.” You nodded as you both laid there in a comfortable silence.

“I don’t think it’s working.” Kylian said after a while, opening his eyes to look at his chest to see the chocolate hadn’t diminished at all in quantity.

“Well no shit.”

“Wanna lick it off instead?” He had a cheeky shit eating grin spread across his face as he watched you crawl up the bed towards him. You stopped just as your lips brushed against his, your body hovering above him, careful not to rest your entire weight on him and risk getting the sauce on you too.

“I bet that was your plan in the first place.” You whispered against his mouth before dipping your head and running your tongue over his chest.

“Mmm, and it worked.” He replied, grabbing your face and pressing your lips together as your legs wrapped around his waist and he flipped you over, getting the sauce all over you in the process anyways. It was a wonder amongst everything else you did following that, the bed itself managed to stay clean.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He murmurs, his hand laced in yours, the one that wasn’t in his hair.

“Only for a little while though baby. I gotta go catch my flight soon.” He grunts disapprovingly, squeezing your hand tighter. “I’ll see you in Paris in a couple of days though.”

“I wish you’d stay longer. For tonight at least.” You feel his shoulders tense against your chest and you move your hand from his head to his shoulders, trying to work out the knots. On nights when he’s feeling most nervous about a match, you knew he loved to sleep next to you, and wake up by your side, claimed it was his good luck charm or something of the sort. So much so that there had been several nights when you’d been woken up at ungodly hours by the buzzing of the intercom in your apartment, letting you know he was downstairs. You’d let him into the building, leaving your front door unlocked as you went back to bed, eventually hearing him enter your room and sliding onto the mattress, his arms instinctively wrapping around you. You’d lean wordlessly into him, letting him take whatever good luck he needed to still his racing mind and calm the nerves wracking his body. It had almost become a kind of ritual for him. And you know tonight, he needed it more than ever, your heart breaking slightly because you’d have to leave him in less than an hour.

“You’ll be fine Ky.”

“I don’t know.”

“Kylian Sanmi Mbappé Lottin, you just became the highest scoring player at one of the biggest football clubs on the entire globe at 24 years old. There’s nothing you can’t do, Boy wonder. World at his feet. The future of football.” You repeat the headlines that had been circulating the news following his historical feat. You wish you’d been there to celebrate with him in the moment, you’d been so proud of him, you were sure the hotel you were staying in in New Delhi had received complaints of the yelling coming from your room given it was well past 1am when you were watching him play and receive his award.

“There’s just so much riding on this match. I’m scared.” He sighs and you feel the heavy weight resting on him in your hands as you kneaded them across shoulders, wishing in your actions you could somehow take some of it on.

“PSG believes in you baby. Your coach, the staff, your teammates, the fans, they all believe in you. Your family believes in you. I believe in you.”

He turns to face you, the water sloshing over the sides as his eyes burn into yours. You smile, running your finger over the frown lines etched into his forehead as you smooth them out.

“You got this-“

“Move in with me.” You both speak at the same time.

This isn’t the first time he’s brought this question to you, and initially, you had been very hesitant. You loved him, no doubt about it, and wanted nothing more than to spend every waking second with him but there’s something so big and final about sharing a living space that scared you. You loved your apartment, your independence and freedom, proud of the life you’d managed to build for yourself. You knew Kylian appreciated that about you, he was never one to make you feel like you needed to depend on him to be better or worth more. He just wanted you around more. You’d thought about it a lot in the week you’d been in India, what that would mean for you and your relationship with Kylian.

“Ky-“

Your alarm goes off on your phone in the other room, the one you’d set to remind you you had 45 minutes to leave, and you’re silently grateful for the interruption.

“Come on.” You rise to leave the bath, ignoring the pained look in Kylian’s eyes as you wrap a towel around your body. “It’s almost 10, you gotta sleep and I need to get ready.”

You step out into the bedroom area, reaching for your phone to turn the alarm off. You’re in the middle of trying to put on your bra when Kylian eventually comes out of the bathroom, digging into his bag for a pair of fresh boxers. He pulls them on and kneels onto the bed, next to where you’re sitting, removing your hands from behind you, his rough fingers brushing against your spine and he fastens the clasp of your bra.

“Thank you.” You say.

“Lay with me until you have to go?”

You stand to lift the thick duvet as you slide underneath it, sitting up against the headboard with your arms open. The corner of his lips lift slightly, his body getting lost under the duvet as his head rests against your stomach, and you run your nails over his scalp once more, soothing him to sleep.

“I love you.” He mutters into your skin, his words vibrating from your abdomen and spreading their warmth all the way to your peripherals.

“I love you too.”

It’s not long before you hear his soft snores against your stomach; he never struggles to sleep when he’s next to you. You reach over to grab your phone, seeing you have less than 5 minutes to leave for your flight. Carefully and slowly, you peel his arms away from your midriff, slipping out of the bed, miraculously without waking him. You quickly put your clothes on and gather your things silently in the dark room (you knew Kylian was sensitive to light and you really didn’t want to wake him), making sure you hadn’t forgotten anything. You’re ready to leave when you take one last look at your boyfriend, resting peacefully albeit the frown lines still present above his brows. You watch the small slice of moonlight cutting through the gap in the drawn curtain illuminate his face ever so slightly, his lips slightly open, his right arm reaching out as though he is looking for you and your heart tugs. There, in that moment, you realise how much you hate you have to leave him, how much you hate to be without him, how much you did need him around you and you make a decision. You spot a hotel-branded pen and some post-it-notes on the desk, quickly scribbling some words onto the paper, hoping it would be legible in the daylight since you could barely see in the darkness. You rip the piece of paper off the pile and slip it into his right boot that he had lined up in front of the wardrobe next to his gym bag ready for the game tomorrow before leaving the room.

———

“COME ON BOYS! LET'S SHOW THEM WHO WE ARE!”

Verratti yells as chorus of “yeahh”s follows his motivational words. The air in the dressing room is thick with anticipation, and excitement and nerves as all the players get ready to make their way to the tunnel for kick off. Kylian blows out a big breath, grabbing one of his boots from his bag. He pulls up the flap as he puts his foot in, stopping when he feels his toes press against something crunchy. A small piece of paper falling out in the process of him removing his foot to figure out what was in the boot. He unfolds it, revealing messily written note, as though the person had written it with their eyes closed, but he can recognise your penmanship anywhere.

BRING IT HOME BABY xo

He smiles at first, not realising the deeper meaning behind your message until he notices several lines underlining the word “home”. His eyes widen as he reaches for his phone quickly, snapping a picture and texting you.

You’re seated on the plane back to Paris from London, having finalised everything with the office so you were free to go home, and you couldn’t wait to get back to your own bed, sick of living out of your suitcase for the past week. You are about to put your phone on airplane mode, per instruction from the in-flight cabin crew, just as your phone lights up with a new notification. You had texted him good luck earlier, and guess he is probably responding to that. You open the message to find he’d sent you a picture of the note you’d left for him with “you mean it????” You laugh to yourself, you know he’s not stupid, he would figure it out.

win the match and find out :)

gonna score two for you.

Kylian is anything if competitive, jumping up onto his feet as he locks his phone and throws it in his gym bag. He had his obvious reasons for wanting to win this game, the most glaringly clear one being it would bring him one step closer to winning a UCL trophy for his beloved club, their first ever. But now he had something else to win for, something he’d been wanting for months now, and absolutely nothing was standing in his way.

Ramos makes his way to Kylian, patting his shoulder firmly.

“You ready bro?”

“More than ever.” Kylian nods, before taking his friend’s hand and dabbing him up. “Listen, thanks again, for earlier man.”

“Don’t sweat it. And look at you, you're glowing! And got a little bit more fire in your eyes. Thank you Y/N!” He raises his hands and eyes to the sky, as though thanking god. Well you. A goddess. A true deity to Kylian himself.

The referee blows the final whistle, 3-1 to PSG, meaning they win by a point on the aggregate, and the ultras crowding the stadium go wild. After all the celebration, he finds himself in the dressing room, high off his win and claps of praise on his back from his teammates as he tries to find his phone to text you.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, knowing who was trying to contact you as your Uber pulled up outside the huge apartment complex. You’d seen all over Twitter that PSG had won, and you couldn’t help the surge of pride that bubbled up in your chest as you scrolled through the various tweets of congratulations for your boyfriend and his squad, especially for him winning man of the match. You wait until you’re inside the apartment, your suitcase resting on the wall by the front door before you pull your phone out of your pocket to read the message.

we did it. and i scored two for you.

i saw. had no doubt you could.

You hit send as you finally find yourself exactly where you wanted to be. You’re stood in Kylian’s living room, in front of the double doors on the far left of the large room that lead to the balcony, with the perfect view of the Eiffel Tower, a view you knew you didn’t get from anywhere in your apartment. You could see your yourself slightly in the glass door, you hadn’t turned the light on too bright, so the glare wouldn’t erase your reflection and the background but the monument was still visible.

Perfect.

You look down at your phone to see the bubble that showed Kylian was typing disappear before reappearing again.

so?

He finally sends.

so.

You quickly click on the camera icon in the bottom corner, lining the frame so he could see you in picture as well as your surroundings. You snap the picture and send it to him.

hurry up and come home.

*****

As always, lmk your thoughts, I love hearing from you guys, thank you to everyone who comments and sends me asks, love and appreciate each and everyone of you <3 also GOOD LUCK PSG! LETS GO! 😌💙

[sevazh]

OH MY GOD ME TOO..... i DESPISED the new chibi style of gacha life which is why i just kept using gacha studio even though everyone had forgotten about it im surprised someone else even remembers gacha studio considering how it like disappeared from the internet after gacha life came out.

at least ONE cinderella recreation?? that boys made at least TEN. hikaru when he stumbles upon kaoru's hidden gacha life folder in their shared computer watches one and then watches the next cinderella one only to confusedly note that it was mostly the same like still just cinderella. he looks at the next and skims through it and its..... still mostly the same?? with like no plot differences?? he then incredulously looks at 3 more of the cinderella and its all JUST CINDERELLA. like no plot differences this boy just RECREATES cinderella over and over with him and kyoya. hikaru is genuinely confused on how he can make like 500 different AUs of himself in the weirdest fucking situations and yet for cinderella he just keeps doing the same story over and over. its cathartic for him ig.

the thought of them LOSING ACTUAL STORAGE on their pc because of kaorus gacha animatics is making me giggle help 😭 like actual GIGABYTES of storage being occupied because of the sheer amount of this unhinged 15 year old's gacha fantasies......... also kaoru gaslighting him over it is so real. hikaru is still thoroughly offended that out of the fucking WAREHOUSE of gacha videos he stumbled upon that fateful day, he was a background character in like majority of the videos. what angst potential does kyoya senpai have that he doesnt

in honor of gacha studio i downloaded it again and tried my hand at kaoru and kyoya (angel and devil forbidden love style)

my older sibling discovering me hunched over on my phone on creating gacha characters (that sounds familiar..) was very humbling and the app was promptly deleted as soon as i finished

i can imagine hikaru being sent into some sort of crisis upon finding the hours upon hours of videos. he discovers a folder full of videos while going through their pc in the early afternoon and binges them into the next morning. why are there so many? why are they so intricate? why is KYOYA a more important character than him? how did he make so many of these WITHOUT HIM EVER NOTICING? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH CINDERELLA?

however, hikaru lacks the ability to think and consider something seriously for any extended amount of time and eventually just brushes it off and starts laughing hysterically over it

later when kaoru comes back, hikaru tells kaoru what he found.

kaoru is as white as a sheet. he sputters.

“so, you know about my feelings for kyoya senpai then?

dead silence.

“YOU LIKE KYOYA SENPAI??”

poor stupid hikaru. bless his heart.

[roguelov]

These thots care coming in faster than I can write 😭 but at least I am making note of all of them cause the POTENTIAL! Onto an Enemy to Lovers idea:

What if you were already trapped by Burgess (Morpheus was wondering why you weren't annoying him as ususal). Then he get's trapped and get's shoved in with you. So you two are basically skwabbling with each other for a century (sexual tension ayeeeee), only really learning to tolerate each others presence in Reader's dreams where they escape. So they get out, reader nopes it out of there cause Dream couldn't possibly have fallen in love like reader did and doesn't want their heart broken (cause ofc it will, this is dream). Dream is upset that reader is gone bc he did fall in love, but is also in denial about it. So now their moodiness is wreaking havoc on their friends and everyone is trying to pull their heads out of the asses and tell them that they love each other (rather than hate). Lucienne + Hob push Dream to finally seek reader out and we have a yelling match/hissy fit between them before they finally get over themselves and indulge in the feelings that were made while in captivity.

IDK, I kind of feel like the two would have a power struggle in bed, swapping who get's to be Dom and who gets to be Sub (but they make it hot cause like: YOU got to be the top, it's MY turn now)

hehe

my mind is very dirty for Morpheus rt now 😘

HONEYYYYYYYYYYYY

God I love this! It’s got angst, it’s got tension, it’s got pining, it’s got a love confession, it’s got ‘let me show you how much I love you’ spice

I’m thinking like you’re an immortal witch (who has had a few run ins with Dream, maybe he rescued you once from a witch trail, maybe you have begrudgingly completed tasks for him with little to no thanks whatever there’s just history) and soon you get roped into Burgess who by sheer luck puts a binding spell on you (and basically saps yours powers to have his own magic)

Cue Burgess unsatisfied with your power and goes to capture Death but of course gets Dream and then 100+ years of having to be next to the one being who annoys you to your core (even though you secretly always liked him to a degree which only grew being trapped with him)

Then some well needed spice in the end 🤭

[anarchistettin]

not a gotcha but i dont believe i understand what definition of cult you are using. im assuming the thrust of the argument is denouncing all interconnected groups that cast off social norms together is throwing the baby out with the bath water? so i am assuming that your usage differs from the (in use but still flawed) BITE model.

ja imo the BITE model would be better aimed at the USA government or Christian church. It is a useful set of questions to ask - I can't help but find it particularly evocative though - everything it warns about is a basic feature of the USA. It's hard for me to imagine being the academic hashing all that out & not once going "hm how to disambiguate this from … every single mainstream institution in this nation and 90% of every other…hm"

It's great if reading over BITE gets someone out of a bad scene,

but I do despise, will always have to despise, the basic lazy ignorant common stupidity at its core. It's not a point of order or a quibble about words, it's that my loved ones were murdered and kidnapped by the police because people shut off the idea that MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T DO THIS if their targets "deserve" it.

the depth of ignorance it's allowing the rest of the abusing mind controllers to sink to rather overturns whatever forgiveness I'd otherwise have for those who use the term in its popular form.

past words that have undergone this transformation: villain (means villager) heathen (means rural) pagan (means bumpkin) gay / queer / et al (means pervert, child abuser, rapist, mind controller) negro (means lazy rapist, quasi-communist, Old Gods adjacent)

it goes onnnnnnnn & on & on & on.

there's a book called Strange Gods from the 70s? or 80s? forget exactly, that gently plead for sanity from USAns, trying to show how butt-fucking-simple the switch from "black" or "foreigner" to "CULT CULT CULT" was but… its dream (people not being stupid) along with mine (people not being evil) dies 😭 under the sheer tonnage of american shittiness and eagerness to please the Lairds

it's not that I care that y'all are mostly evil, it's that the blank stupidity of it is vexing & all the cultists I know personally, even the shitty ones, are better people on average and out of habit. would never repeat the insane & ugly fibs that normal people feel okay to spread - while their elected officials & religious officers do everything they claim to stop us doing, in full lust & no shame.

it'd piss me off less if the main voices for these fibs weren't so typical and gross about it, spewing nazi talking points in church lady tones.

the 1980s were bad, conservative kids were scary and violent, but y'all? y'all are the rightest wing "generation" yet! playing by the playbook but wearing team colors! acting out all the behaviors that you're claiming to oppose & spreading all the old lies in exchange for nothing more valuable than a brief orgasmic feeling of having been Wrong (the exact same feeling as being 'Right' prior to discovery that one has been uncritical and thus duped into becoming an important nazi asset)

I try to be good about it, I try to be wise, but I'm not good or wise, so I'm angry and full of hate too, along with them. it's a regular thing for me. "they're full of potenti- oof. okay. they're rightfully angry beca- oof, okay. they're lashing out at who's close at hand because they're scared. it sucks and they are starting to suck, but oka-oof, no that's not okay." and o n a n d o n

when it comes down to it, it's okay. it's fine. for me, I mean. I have the benefits, live in the benefits of good & natural human life. For you it's a disaster. You will not have the grounding, experience, natural ease, or security of the cult when times get lean. You won't know how to interact or trust. You won't know how to disperse and coalesce, you don't know how to keep your identities under control. So many of you still clearly think that another rollicking vote will set things ship-shape. A huge number of you still use "weird" to mean "bad". It's normal! but normal is bad. Duh! even straight kids knew that in the 20th century. SIGH.

You won't know how to fight, which is bad, but way worse: you don't know whom to fight. Which Is Deadly. I don't see a way out for many of y'all. You know that the machine you're living in hates you, but you haven't figured out how it got you to hate you, initially.

Most of the people from my gang wouldn't get angry about it - that's a difference between me & them - but it's because they wrote you all off a long time ago. "Dead alive". "Dead world".

fucking hell they're right and I'm wrong. I wanted to think that you could pass through some more new-fangled stages of being and come out "good" for it, but, that's not going to happen, is it?

not one of you is going to actually fight the cops, you're all going to attack whomever's close at hand & undefended, right? the next-lowest-sexuality or whatever. the flag teams. you'll call the police so you can get back to making important posts.

god I am so disappointed in the lot of you. Can you imagine the experience of watching people go "HM NO THIS WIKIPEDIA LINK DEFINES IT AS"?

the slide toward the modern definition is very recent, and very researchable. I think it's interesting to do that work - I don't mind that not many other people do. However. If you don't do that work and comment in the typical honkey way, I judge and hate you forever. Maybe not fair! but it is at least simple - and safer than continuing to believe in the "quality of young people". It was stupid of me to think there was a point to trying to share anything with y'all.

my bad!

tumblr cult claims a lot about itself but it's a big liar. tumblr cult's not only guilty of all its white dad's crimes & abuses: in emulation of Obama the Saviour, tumblr has perfected the art of targeting previously ambiguous Offenders, and freely given this science to the Overlords, while ever busily expanding the reach these abuses can attain and the damage they can cause.

tl;dr: y'all're too in love with the cops and the church

the revolution went on without you, but you keep looking at your phone for a signal

[princess-of-purple-prose]

sends you an ask again . like in my gaara ask, this time please tell me about iruka!!!! he is my babygirl . quite possibly my favorite character besides The Boy himself (those two also mean literally so much to me). but anyway feel free to tell me about any favorite/recent scenes you've read with him in them!!! :}

My sincere apologies for taking so long to respond, I promise I was mulling this over with great excitement :))) This is going to be. Long. First off I have to shake hands with you because he is ALSO my babygirl and probable second-favorite!!! (I think the tiers are: naruto, iruka-sasuke, everyone else) :) Second off, you sent this with UNCANNY timing, because I had just reached chapter... 532? When I got this? Nope, I checked, it was 534. And our boy literally showed up at the end of the chapter!!!

You said I could talk about anything, but I also don't wanna hand out too many possible spoilers to you, so the short of it is that naruto is training with this dude killer bee with the dual purpose of keeping the two of them out of the way from a larger conflict that concerns them, right? And naruto is explicitly being kept in the dark about why he’s actually being kept essentially confined in the space, though he’s rapidly growing suspicious. The reasons for keeping naruto ignorant are... well. They’re not wrong (naruto WOULD immediately jump into the fray if he knew what was going on, which could have potentially catastrophic consequences), but it feels intensely demeaning all the same

And I'd been stalling on going further out of sheer stress at how the issue might be handled, which only increased when iruka showed up because I was terrified iruka, who was sent to prevent naruto from escaping (even the government knows how close they are 😭😭 I’m normal), might also disrespect naruto’s autonomy :(

I wasn’t super excited to continue even to the chapter titled iruka’s impact (!!!) because iruka did in fact start off by lying. But!! In the ensuing conflict of naruto’s escape attempt, he does THIS!

[ID: A Naruto mangacap of Iruka and Shino’s father, Gen. Gen shouts, “Iruka, no!!!” but Iruka says, “Mister Gen, the lying stops now. Naruto can handle it. He needs to know the truth.” End ID]

Look at that!! He a) acknowledged people had been lying to naruto, b) affirmed naruto’s competence, and c) asserted he has a right to know what the fuck is going on!!!!! I love him so much oh my god!!!! Iruka indeed proceeds to explain what’s happening, naruto shouts that he isn’t going back, and THEN.

[ID: A Naruto mangacap. Iruka yells, “Enough! Do you know what you are to me?!” He and Naruto look at each other, breathing heavily. End ID]

(Screenreaders skip this line to avoid a caps lock scream) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. OH MY GOD. FUCK.

Well. You know what. I shan’t say more because you deserve to experience it on your own (unless you want me to skdjf idk), but I'll be honest! I was blinking a little quickly! My breathing was a little sniffly! I’ll permit myself to say that it is EXPLICITLY STATED that they both think of each other as family (plain text: explicitly stated that they both think of each other as family) and I just. I could ramble on for hours, but I’ll spare you and instead leave you with a final, poorly-cropped mangacap which basically sums up how I’m feeling rn

[ID: Iruka looks like he’s repressing tears with tight lips and creased eyebrows and making little “urk” sounds. He bows to someone in a cut-off panel. End ID]

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E8 "Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

"High Ranking Vulcan". heh. This intro though - it jkust makes me wonder the sheer potential of what couldve been for Trek. Bryan Fuller made a masterpiece called Hannibal. Not too sure on his hand in Trek - imho, it doesnt compare. ANYways. ugh i love seeing hte discovery warp downwards like that Owosekun - love her name such nice colours. consistenty good colours in this show for sure. i like how goldy inside the bridge is oh interesting. what an odd source of warp power its insanely cool though. that CANT be good for stamets. is that foreshadowing did you call her what she will become damn stamets can you be like idk a bit likeable tho please. like plenty of characters who are catty af but likeable in some way if even 1%. ugh. hi tribble. keep tribblin OO SO BLUEEEE SO PRETTYYY This is so weird to me in how this show literally comes out 2 years AFTER AOS3 in terms of production quality.

very pretty landscapes though Saru. aint no way you walkin this terrain with them feets of yours love the trees. saru is so scrawnyyy Saru literally looks amazing in any lighting no joke damn classic trek mist creature living rorschach blot Kol is so cool looking those red accents work beautifully on his face

such lovely colour grading everyones GLOWINGGG there are certainly some wonderful visuals in this show ughhhh Saru, the dust speaker is that a klingon archery set what is that HAHA i wish nah its a torture kit sorry cornwell yelling like that was kind of cringe lolll this pretty blue dust dome that ash and burnham are in is so pretty ugh something im gonna just never take seriously, "Ash x Burnham" nah get out yeah yeah however, Kirk delivered this line beyond any other human's capacity what an empty ass kiss god its so forced. another huge problem with this show is they treat these characters like we know them already but bruh everyone feels so much the stranger to me, even though we are past the halfway point of season 1. is just so weird. i am not invested in like any character, even ones i really thought i would/wanted to be but its liek the show takes them away from me i like how the klingons have a definite accent when they speak terran now L'Rell is so striking looking i love her eyes such a piercing look

see like i WANT to like this away party but like i kind of dont have any real reason to like any of these characters especially with the utter animosity stuff that never got really properly resolved. like between saru and burnham. it feels almost uncomfortable. to me the viewer watching from outside ofc. thats a really pretty flower i dont like this film style it feels too tacky so many stupid zooms so cheap feeling it feels like star trek, Teen Wolf edition. literally feels like its filmed int he same way as things like Teen Wolf that were almost 10 years earlier. its so janky. zero patience and sense to appreciate the scene itself without all this ridiculous cinematic embellishment. its so unnecessary. if even this show did this less, this show would legitimately be 7x better. saru looks so beautiful with that warm white rear light this is such a gorgeous instance of practical effects and they got the PERFECT actor to don saru Ash looks like someone ive literally known in my own life 😭 i love these red jewels on L'Rell's armour/clothing costume and design department did a great great job in this show's production - i have no beef with them.

i like saru's mouth shape its so odd. idk why i feel so detached from this show. oh dang angry saru. ferocious oml yo these are such pretty crystals] saru running in THOSE? HAAHAHAH damn had to CG him hahah that one camera shot was funny though it almost looked like the show said "yes. he can run in these". lol oh damn convincing gore i like how we continue seeing blood in trek with DISCO when i t really started in Enterprise. oh shit ANGRY SARU BRUH HE BACKKICKED HER LIKE A HORSE this stick man being so strong the way hes breaking that device literally looks like classic trek style bundle two hands together and bash DBZ style XD

really pretty tree thing though oooo the transporter circles at the bottom look SOO nice dude look at his detail up close its fucking amazing oh my god such masterfully done painting speckling im genuinely impressed damn, im sorry saru. though i think, who DOES live without fear. man costume design is wonderful. these red markings are really good they compliment their faces really well This is so odd. I have NEVER had this kind of feeling of "detachment" from a Trek production before. The fuck is happening. Ugh.

Not liking Bryan Fuller x Alex Kurtzman directing style in this show, like, at all.

I am just waiting for when this show gets better.

Cuz it's lost a lot of my anticipation.

We'll see. Hopefully.

[valorandgold]

@nobleburn​ said:

Ship Bias for Selena and/or Petra!

INCOMING WALL OF TEXT

Tbh I’m not sure I have five ships for Selena? I mean I could always list Selena/Summoner as one but that’s the coward’s way out and also a bit too self-indulgent methinks ;D Regardless I do have some feelings™️ regarding her potential ships

- Selena/Glen: Number one forever OTP, and I’m still salty that Valter took away the one person Selena was closest to who nearly talked her out of staying loyal to the man who used to be the love of her life (not that she ever told VIgarde that) because he wasn’t that man anymore, you know, Demon King stuff and whatnot. I love their interactions. limited as they may be (BECAUSE OF FUCKING VALTER GODDAMMIT) and want them to be a thing seriously.

- Selena/Ephraim: A bit of a weird ship but tbh, I can see it. If only Ephraim and Duessel could convince Selena to join their side 😭I feel like they’d have really good chemistry in an alternate universe where that happens, given she would probably need time to grieve Vigarde as a result of that regardless. But I could definitely see it happening of the course of time, though Selena would probably think that Ephraim is in some serious need of more discipline...no that’s not a euphemism though tbh I could see them being a bit kinky but that’s beside the point 

- Selena/Vanessa: Okay I know this seems like a crack ship but hear me out. This is one of those ships that’s mainly the result of a long string of interactions that I had when I was running Selena on her own blog once upon a time that she had with a Vanessa, and that romantic chemistry between them has actually led to fanfics of this ship on AO3 by that same RPer, btw. Anyway, back to my main point, Vanessa being inspired and utterly admiring Selena for how far she’s coming and trying to aspire to similar heights in Frelia’s army and the two bonding and falling hopelessly in love with each other GIVES ME LIFE OKAY? There’s a lot of potential there, I’m just saying.

I can’t really think of any other ones right now? Selena/Eirika is a possibility I’ve considered but I’ve not put enough thought into it yet to really list it here. I’m surprisingly not as much of a ship whore for Selena believe it or not (but if I didn’t feel like it was cheating, I would totally list Selena/M-...I mean Selena/Summoner.) 

- Petra/Dorothea: ...look, at this point it’s no secret to anyone that I am utter trash for this ship and I need it in my life and I love these two so much and this is my OTP for her mgnghgh. Just the fact that from the start Dorothea is so accepting and encouraging of Petra, not even caring about her being from Brigid and her difficulties with Fodlan’s language, and she doesn’t take too much offense to Petra’s very blunt way of saying things, and the fact that Petra comes to care for Doro so much and wants her to stay in Brigid with her and the idea of Doro becoming a Queen of Brigid with her (and adopting like all the kids in Enbarr who are struggling like she did once upon a time) and just their sheer chemistry...I can never get over these two, okay? I’m filthy trash for this ship and nothing’s really ever gonna change that.

- Petra/Edelgard: Hey, is anyone else extremely upset that these two never got an A-Support which could have been really interesting and compelling and led to a good ship for these two? I know I sure am. I mean god damn, why could they not have had a full support line like they deserved? It consistently makes me upset that Doro is the only Black Eagles girl allowed to flirt with and have ships with every other girl in the Black Eagles (among others) but Petra can’t have a proper support line with Edelgard, and don’t get me started on Bernie either.

- Petra/Claude: ...honestly I’m not sure what to say here other than have you SEEN their supports? No really, have you? I mean, okay, I know I could have said the same thing about Doropetra but I wasn’t able to contain myself but really, if you’ve seen their supports you should just know. Look, I just love how from the start Claude treats Petra like an equal, even though they both notice how neither one is exactly typical for their social status (though Petra is close enough for Brigid, but not really for Fodlan). And to think their wonderful bonding all starts over Claude being unable to climb trees

- Petra/Ashe: Once again, I’m having a hard time discussing this other than just saying look at their supports? I just love the way Ashe helps Petra adapt to commoner life in Fodlan and she feels like she’s becoming a better and more knowledgeable person because of it whereas he’s just doing it because he loves to help people and wants to help Petra feel comfortable and then she just literally helps him realize his dream by the end of it. “You wanna be a knight? I can make an order of Knights of Brigid just for you and you can my guardian knight, I really like that idea, we’re both ambitious and driven and have goals we want to reach, let’s get there together.” It’s just so sweet and wholesome.

- Petra/Bernadetta: ...actually I literally don’t have much to say about this one because it’s pretty much the same thing as Edelgard. So yeah, salty this one couldn’t happen either to be honest, especially because I love the difficulty of overcoming the language barrier early on for them. It could lead to some really sweet and fun things for them I feel like.

[tiffanybluesclues]

I'm gonna stick to my fave and mainly just talk about Dick Grayson. You have the core basics of his background correct! (Circus, acrobat, first Robin.) You also have some fanon down pretty well – this kinda makes me scream internally because it confirms THAT is the perception people have of my boy when they don't have references to his canon. 😭 Those particular fanon tropes must be pretty popular.

As far as his day job goes...that's where I'd say he can't be tied down.

Dick did work as a cop in Blüdhaven for about 4 years until early 2003. To me, this always seemed like as much of an "undercover" gig as the 2 years or so he spent as a spy in 2014-16, but it was a relatively long-running job that he was determined about, so arguably it was as real to him as his time in the circus. (Arguably...) Also, in the live action Titans he was a cop in Detroit in the 1st season. Maybe that helped make it seem like being a cop was a regular job for him?

He worked as a bartender for the 2 years before the cop storyline (1997-1999).

He worked as a bartender again for a few months in 2014 before getting briefly killed and then going to be a spy.

I think that while he was a spy he also had the role of gym teacher at the superspy's girl school. 🤔 Can't remember for sure, but it's noteworthy because gym/trainer work is a job he's had a few times.

For three years in 2006-2009 he was located in NYC. There he got a random job modeling for a few issues, drove a taxi for about a day, actively thought there was no way he'd want his day job to be a cop again, and eventually started working at a gym.

He helped with teaching at the gym for one year, then switched to just teaching an acrobatics class on weekends because he was taking a full time museum curator job.

He worked that museum curator job and taught his weekend acrobatics for about a year as well, before going back to Gotham and saying no more day jobs. By then it was 2009.

I know he was a personal trainer for a while in 2018, which also calls back to his gym work, although the gym stuff was much more linked to his circus training than just general fitness.

To be honest, I think his most frequent job is more often "unemployed" or business-owner-whose-circus-gets-attacked.

Not confirmed bi, but we don't let that stop us.

There's some support for the idea that when he was younger he had a mini-Bruce persona, but it's really not a frequent thing. (People do remark on his similarity to Bruce on occasions, in both positive and negative ways, so in some ways "like father, like son" does apply.)

Hot? Yes indeed. Dick Grayson is one of the prettiest people the fictional world has ever seen, but regardless of how many people want him, he's all about monogamy. He doesn't do casual flings, and he's uncomfortable with being sexualized, so it makes sense that he doesn't force himself into a "Brucie Wayne" type persona that needs to keep up appearances of being a playboy either. When he's in a potential relationship he's all in.

Shipping him with KF/Wally West is very popular, particularly since the Young Justice cartoon (and some recent canon has arguably leaned into the idea that Wally has a crush), but it's not a canon romantic relationship. Wally is happily married to Linda Park – I think he once described her as "the model God used when he created woman" 😍 and I'm sorry but even my beloved Dick Grayson isn't coming between that. It's all fun and fair in fan creations though.

As far as everyone else...idk, I think a lot of that is made up from thin air and given life through the sheer fanon willpower! All I can say there is:

Tim - I think all of the personality traits are fanon, but you described how I see him in fanfics perfectly so you picked up on that fanon very well! (He is also the only one with a canon boyfriend, but that boyfriend and relationship seem boring to me so more power to people who ignore them and continue to ship TimKon.)

Damian - idk how the world "feral" started getting passed around because there is nothing feral about that child. He is a trained assassin and his acts of violence were not wild or animalistic. At his worst he was lethal, ruthless, and arrogant, but he was never feral. He's like the opposite of feral. He's formal.

Duke - he's not listed but if you ever decide to read canon, I hope you start with Batman and the Signal just because I think bat-fandom deserves to have some fanon views skewed by people entering fandom through that book. 😁 & then next Batman and the Outsiders so maybe you'll end up all about Duke and Cass.

& Dick of course. 💘

The Batfam, by someone who hasn’t read/watched any DC canon

Brucie Wayne - compulsive adopter or dark haired, blue eyed children, has a persona of a ditzy playboy; also is The Batman, vigilante and guardian of Gotham, No Metas In Gotham, Batman persona isn’t totally him either, the real Bruce is somewhere in between

Dick Grayson - former circus kid/acrobat; the first robin, named batarangs, bat cave, bat mobile, etc. B’s first kid, like 27, now Nightwing, is a cop at bludhaven (spelling?), Gotham sister city or something. Definitely bi, best ass in Gotham, HOT, his public persona is “like father, like son, playboy extraordinaire, can’t be tied down, always out with someone new” either dating or married to KF/Wally West

Jason Todd - dead. And Alive? Killed by the joker, something something Lazarus pit. ~edgy~ maybe was a crime lord at some point? He kills, which is a no no for Batman so he’s running around as the red hood being morally grey. Also gay, and dating dick’s ex I think. (Who is Roy?) was the second robin

Tim Drake - sleep deprived, caffeine addicted tech genius child ceo, third robin, but also Red Robin? Takes over the company as ceo from Bruce before he’s even 18. Dating Kon/Conner? (Who I think is Superman’s kid????) very smart, very caffeine addicted

(And here is where my knowledge starts to decline)

Cass - the only daughter maybe? Maybe Black Bat? I don’t know who this is, I think I read somewhere in some fic that she is also gay and smart

Damian - current Robin, swords???? Stabby??? Child still, like 13, super angry, maybe Bruce’s actual blood child I do not know what is going on, a little feral

Oracle - I have no clue who this is besides that she’s the guy in the chair, super smart, and maybe used to be bat girl. Is this Barbara? I’ve seen that name come up too, and I think maybe Barbara is Oracle but I don’t know. And maybe she’s training another bat kid/family friend who will eventually become Augur. I don’t know who that is.

Stephanie - did she date on of the bat kids at some point? I think she’s not officially adopted but stays with the Wayne’s or something, but also maybe is the second bat girl? She seems bubbly. I think she’s bi

Terrence - baby. Maybe also Bruce’s bio kid as well

Cullen - this is a name I have read. Possibly that augur kid. Also a family friend

Fr, let me know how accurate this is if you know Batman stuff, thanks byyyyyye

[ezraspiderwick]

Today I bring you another long-ass comment for one of the most amazing fics on earth, tomorrow who knows? (let's be honest probably another long comment too 😆)

Javier reached under the collar of his shirt and clasped the warmed silver of the crucifix in his chilled yet clammy palm. He regretted not returning it to its rightful owner before they left base, and out of sheer desperation, he wordlessly recited a prayer for the first time in years. Or rather decades.

Clinging to hope and whatever remnants were left of his faith as though they were a life-raft on the brink of the abyss.

Okay, okay, strong start here. There are two things that I love about these two paragraphs. The first is the necklace, how important it has been in this story, first in signifying Carrillo's love and commitment to Javier, then in Javier actually accepting it and always wearing it, at this point I see it as the equivalent of a ring. And how can we forget it being a gift from Horacio's father too, which just amplifies it being a show of love. And we have the fact that it has a cross on it, which in this moment leads Javi to pray. The way you write the necklace into the story is just amazing.

And now the second thing is Javier praying. It's so interesting to me that sometimes when people are left without options, when they have nothing to do regarding a specific situation they turn to a higher power. And Javier is doing that right here, he has no way to keep the love of his life safe so he's praying just in case there's someone listening, there's nothing he can do in this moment but ask for Horacio to be okay. I love these two elements in this scene

However, as he made to jump in the front passenger seat, something blunt and heavy punched into his chest and knocked him backwards to the ground.

LAURA LAURA LAURAAAAAAA WHAT ARE YOU DOING. oh okay he's fine, well fine-ish. I can live with that

Not that he deserved that privilege. Once again, he was reminded why alone had always been safer. Not just for him, but for everyone else involved as well. When people got close to him, they tended to get hurt one way or another. He’d always assumed the worst damage he could cause someone was to their feelings, but he’d really fucking surpassed himself this time.

Noooo Javi baby, don't blame yourself for this. Again I'm pissed at the show bc yeah, they show us like 2 scenes where Javi has to deal with the grief and with blaming himself for one of his friend's death. Sure we get to see him in the aftermath of the ambush and then drinking whiskey but that's not enough. You're doing wonders with this fic, honestly

There was no time for anything. No time between them. No time for words of reassurance - or words of any kind. No time for potential goodbyes. Nothing. And it was all his fault.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I just wanted to say…thank you.”

I wasn't expecting to like Trujillo as much as I have, sure he was okay in the show but this fic has me rooting for him and wanting to hug him for being so nice

“But it didn’t, did it? They knew I’d fall for it and they were fucking right.”

Because Javi believes in people and wants to help them and he's too good for this world and deserves better 😭💔

It wasn’t until he glanced down at his torso that he remembered the necklace. Shit.

OH. MY. GOD.

I wish you could see my reaction, I stared at my computer with my mouth open in surprise but also in a smile. The necklace. I did not think about the necklace. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. The necklace. What a way to come out. See I'll say again what I said above this necklace is wonderful, it's getting the award for favorite inanimate object in a fic. And while I enjoyed his coming out scene with Steve I enjoyed this one so so much more, because this one is truly accidental, I did not see it coming. It was a nice surpruse

What surprised Javier, though, was he didn’t note any trace of shock or disgust, but rather a look that screamed Of course. As if the final piece of the puzzle had slotted into place at last.

I definitely understand why Javi expects the worst, so it fills my heart with joy when he is proven wrong and those who have found out have had good reactions, that are more on the surprise side and on the oh that makes sense side

What made it even worse was, to the outside world, he was nothing to Horacio.

I'm not crying, of course, I'm not crying, not at all 😭

Wait, I just had a thought, Javi would have had to take out the necklace for the x rays. And I can see him not wanting to do it, because he can't be with Horacio right now and this is the last piece of him he can hold on to, so he doesn't want to let go. But perhaps the nurse sees this and promises to keep it safe for him. And after the x rays they help him put it back on, and Javi is relieved to have the cool metal which quickly warms up against his skin

And he knows you’re okay too.

Trujillo made sure to tell him 🥺❤️

As I told you before I love this man, he is just so thoughtful

He’d been sedated when he first arrived and with Trujillo’s help, Javier managed to go unnoticed at his bedside for some time before he woke.

I love him more now

“This wasn’t your fault.” 

They're on the reading each other's minds level now and I'm here for it. I'm glad Horacio knew what to say. And then both of them wanting to take the blame for it to spare the other and because they really felt like it was their fault. Ouch my heart

Good men had lost their lives because of his decision-making, and Horacio could quite easily have been one of them.

I appreciate you including the rest of the people who were victims in that ambush multiple times throughout this chapter. Of course, it would have been easy to not mention them, to focus on only Carrillo being fine, but this makes everything feel more real. Sure he almost lost his love, but there are people out there who did lost their loved ones and he is not about to forget that, neither of them are

“I’m stepping down too.”

HE IS?!!!!!

oh wait, this is how you make this sort of canon-compliant, isn't it? By having Carrillo not work there anymore but keeping him alive, because if so this is a brilliant way to do it

“I can’t keep doing this. I – I can’t keep putting my job above you. Above us. Not anymore. Not when Escobar is prepared to go this far, and further no doubt.”

No, there was no way he could put either of them through any of that again.

And then there was the magnitude of Horacio giving up his job. For him. For them.

Horacio giving up the most important thing in his life for the most important man in his life? I'm a sucker for a character who is placed in a place where he has to make an impossible decision between two things but when he chooses one he realizes there was never a choice to be made, his answer would be the same over and over and over again. Just like here. He would choose Javi over his job no matter what, he matters more to him at the end

Maybe this is where it ends.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want us to have a future together, Javier.

And this is where what Gabriela said comes into play! Really smart foreshadowing

Horacio gulped, the tension in his jaw solidifying his features into a statue of fear that no attempt on his life could ever instil. “H-how?”

The fact that he is more scared of this and of their reaction than of anything else 😭

A warmth spread through Horacio’s chest as he caught the eye of his right-hand man. Not just because of what he’d been told by Javier, but for everything they had been through.

THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH. Their friendship aaaaaaaaaaaa 😭

A truce and a mark of mutual respect between them that didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated by Javier.

I also appreciate so much that you don't neglect any of the relationships. Of course Steve and Carrillo's relationship would have been easier to ignore, no one would have said anything if this wasn't written in but the fact that it is? I'm telling you, this fic is so well written and it feels so real! It feels like real life where there are many more relationships surrounding a love story, where there are so many things to explore outside of it and you do it here, and it's genius!

Javier had zoned out of the conversation for the last couple of minutes as he stared into space with his fingers habitually stroking across his moustache. But he was roused by a sudden thought, a realisation, a moment of clarity.

IS HE TAKING HIM TO LAREDO? TO THE RANCH THAT WOULD BE PERFECT FOR THE TWO OF THEM?

is he calling his dad?!!!! i hope he is. I don't think we have anyone else that could take Horacio in

Such a good chapter filled with heart-to-heart conversations and with action and angst, just the perfect chapter!

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 11)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 5,776

Summary: In the aftermath of chapter 10, the consequences of the ambush are felt by all, whilst it’s a race against time to save Horacio. 

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Canon-typical violence, non-graphic description of a gunshot wound/being shot, flashbacks, near-death experience, survivor’s guilt, discussions of sexuality and unintentionally coming out, angst, swearing.

Notes: I had hoped to post this sooner, but life, (minor) illness and Christmas had other ideas! I was determined to get this up before the end of the year though lol. I’ve made a tentative start on chapter 12 already, so I’ll be cracking on with that shortly. Thank you so much to anyone still reading/interacting, it’s greatly appreciated 😊

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