#god rest my soul whyyy have I done this

[yallemagne]

Watch Me Rewrite Spider-Man 3 Because I have Writer's Block

Me: "We don't need to rewrite Spider-Man 3, we don't need to rewrite Spider-Man 3, we don't need to---"

Brain: "But guess what we're doing."

If you think that the movie is perfectly fine the way it is... I mean, you're definitively wrong, but go off. Just don't read this; it won't serve you.

Okay so, this is fucking because I was just thinking. Why does Venom (Eddie Brock) kidnap Mary Jane? How does he know her? Wouldn't it make more sense that he would kidnap Gwen Stacy?

I mean, we know why he kidnaps Mary Jane. It's because she's the love interest. But how would he know that? He was not that familiar with Peter. As far as the movie shows us, Eddie shouldn't even know who MJ is.

Let's look at why MJ was targetted in the previous films:

Spider-Man

Green Goblin... just wanted to fuck around and kill his son's girlfriend. I dunno, it seemed like the thing to do. Perhaps there was some residual bitterness over Harry not speaking about her, maybe it truly was anger that she wasn't wearing a black dress, who is to say?

Some creepy guys target her because she's a woman walking alone in the evening. Unfortunately, that is what creepy guys do.

Harry confides in his father about MJ cheating with Peter, and Norman decides to kill two birds with one stone.

Spider-Man 2

Harry tells Doc Ock to retrieve Spiderman for him and that Peter should know Spiderman's whereabouts. Peter was out with MJ, and Doc Ock decides to take a hostage.

Spider-Man 3

Ehh?? Love interest. Of both the boyos, I guess. Eh.

Because lissen, it would make more sense for Eddie Brock to target Gwen Stacy. Eddie tells Captain Stacy that he's dating his daughter, but it's revealed by Gwen that it was just a single coffee date. As thanks for saving her, Gwen gives Spiderman the key to the city and a kiss. A very public kiss. Later on, Eddie sees Peter taking Gwen out after he just got him fired from his new job. Same night, in the church, while Eddie is praying for Peter Parker to die, he finds out that Peter is Spiderman, gets the symbiote, and then decides to team up with Sandman and kill him himself. He picks MJ because Peter "stole his girlfriend" and now he's gonna steal Peter's but... uh???

How could he possibly know Peter's history with MJ? Sure, she's gotten kidnapped a few times, but she hasn't been kidnapped in a while, and there's more reason for Eddie to believe that Gwen would make a good hostage right now. And it would also be retaliation against her for rejecting him.

So, why MJ? She's the movie's love interest, and Gwen is supposed to be a red herring. Maybe if we saw Eddie calculating? Like doing some research? He's into journalism, right? Have him think of targeting Gwen but looking into it and finding out that Peter is into MJ??

Also, funny thing: Peter was standing there watching the news, and he only jumps into action after hearing MJ was kidnapped?? I know he's just standing there until the audience gets all the vital info, but wouldn't it make more sense for a hero to want to rescue... any hostage? No matter if he wants to fuck her or not?? If it had been Gwen, are we to assume he'd be like "she's just a girl in my class" and go home????

Of course, it being MJ gives Harry a reason to join in, but... eh. We don't need it. Lissen, no matter how many times Harry says he loves MJ, he only ever dated her to get back at Peter. The whole time he's dating her, he's just trying to impress his dad, and he's failing to connect with her on an emotional level. I can buy him caring for her as a friend, or even just, you know, a person he was previously involved with. But also she was a shitty friend. She tried to rebound with him after getting mad at Peter and then left instead of talking it out, making him think he was in the wrong before his memories kicked back in.

Oh, by the way, the memory loss thing was just pointless. It served no purpose. It was nice to see Harry happy for a time... but at the cost of a coherent plot? Harry discovers that Peter killed his dad -> decides to kill Peter -> memory loss -> Harry discovers that Peter killed his dad -> decides to hurt Peter -> gets beat up -> dies. Just cut out the middle man!! Remove the memory loss!!

Okay, finally for the rewrite:

I'm not gonna lay out everything that happens because the whole plotline of Peter's struggle with forgiving his uncle's killer and the whole symbiote warping his personality is gonna remain completely unchanged. That was good.

Move Harry's discovery of his father's Goblin tech to later in the movie. Most stuff can stay the same. We go from Peter going home with Aunt May's engagement ring straight to Flint Marko becoming Sandman.

No major changes until later, when MJ ditches dinner with Peter and decides to rebound with Harry. Harry's still got his memories, so he welcomes MJ's advances knowing it will hurt Peter. And yet... still... he recognizes a pattern. MJ came to him for support that she wasn't getting from Peter, but she didn't care about him at all. She never cared about him, she was always using him, even when they first began dating, even if she didn't know it at the time. It reminds him of what his father said about her. Cue him hallucinating his father, who goads him into taking revenge on Peter. He refuses at first and breaks the mirror, discovering all the Goblin tech. It is THEN that he decides to get all Goblined up.

Meanwhile, MJ comes to a realization about herself and decides OF HER OWN VOLITION to finally end it with Peter, telling him that she loves someone else when Peter just won't let it go. LET HER MAKE A GOOD DECISION FOR ONCE!!! This will be good for her. Peter is incapable of giving her the validation and support she needs, and she doesn't have the backbone to confront him about the cause of her discontentment, settling for bottling it all up and going to other men for attention instead. And, also, it's a recognizable pattern that Peter really only loves her because he's always wanted to save her. First from her abusive father and shitty boyfriend and then from supervillains and theatre critics. He needs to grow up past that. This is just best for everyone.

Peter is walking alone, sadly contemplating the engagement ring he meant to propose to MJ with (mirroring the scene earlier in the movie, but he's broken-hearted this time rather than hopeful), and Harry snatches him up (you can still have Peter almost losing the ring like in the movie, it's still a priority because he needs to return it to Aunt May). Harry's plan here was to break Peter's heart and kill him while he was still down, but Peter gets the upper hand and injures Harry. No memory loss, just the mutilation Harry suffers in the movie.

Then all the shit with Brock and then Peter humiliating MJ and realizing "oh ew this gunk on me is making me a bad person". All that. Brock and Marko team up and kidnap GWEN STACY, and, knowing that he can't take on both, Peter goes to Harry. He doesn't have MJ as a bargaining chip, but that shouldn't matter, an innocent person will die if Spiderman can't win this fight. Harry tells him to fuck off.

Harry watches the fight play out on the news, seeing Peter get his ass handed to him and unfortunately getting no satisfaction out of it. Bernard (his butler) confronts him and tells him about the night his father died and about the nature of his wounds, confirming that Norman Osborn indeed killed himself. This is the tipping point for Harry, and he leaves to help Peter.

And you know what? Without all the weird convoluted drama of Harry losing his memory and then regaining it, it's more clear that Harry's conflict parallels Peter's own. They both have to cope with misidentifying their father figures' killers and taking out their anger on innocent people. They both even had another parental figure be the one to confront their harmful coping mechanisms: Aunt May and Bernard. Also, Peter dealt with the ghost of Uncle Ben haunting him as a representation of his guilt in the second movie the same way Harry sees his dead father in this one.

I don't like Harry dying. Yes, it's canon to literally every iteration of Spiderman, but fuck canon, look what I'm already doing. And if you know anything about the Green Goblin, it's that he always comes back. Not necessarily through resurrection or anything, but if you kill the Green Goblin, there's always gonna be some asshole that finds his tech and becomes him. It's much more cost-efficient to reform the New Goblin and just have him there. We didn't have a 4th movie, it's not gonna screw things up too bad. I guess it would mess up the continuity of No Way Home (which I still haven't watched) but shhhhh. Let me have him. I really liked him as a kid. Yeah, I liked this single depiction of Harry Osborn as the New Goblin. I just thought his armour and hoverboard were really cool

So, Harry and Peter have reconciled and go to one of MJ's performances. And maybe we get Jay Jonah Jameson's reaction to the New Goblin and New Goblin getting a real name from the press because he's not really goblin-like, and Jameson certainly wouldn't be paying enough attention to recognize the Green Goblin tech. Is this sacrilege considering New Goblin/what's-his-name never appears in the comics? I do what I want, I'll make shit up.

I feel so pretentious rewriting a superhero movie, but I'm not like a middle-aged man angry about the new Star Wars, I'm just someone who thought this movie was really cool as a child... and thinks it really needs some work as an adult.

[sparklingichigo]

Angelic Wedding

Part 4

As Rosaria takes Ichigo to their room to rest, Simeon and Haruka now has to share a room now and oh boy it's as awkward as everything gets despite sharing a room before.

Haruka: So....

Simeon: So...

Haruka: There's only one bed...

Simeon: I notice-

Haruka: Anyways, let's just change. Can you help me with the zipper?

Simeon: R-right here?!

Haruka: What? Just remove the zipper! We're married and it's in our room! [smacks his shoulder]

Simeon: O-okay fine.... don't mind me... [unzips the dress]

As he did that, you're right, his face is bright red because despite seeing her naked already it's still embarrassing because they're now married.

Haruka: Thank you :)) [goes to change]

Haruka: Why are you getting shy now? We've done lots of things back then and now you're being shy??

Simeon: about that.... hehe.... because we're now married and the vibe is different and all.... well that's for me... ^^

Haruka: Huh? You're supposed to be shy when we're still dating not when we're married! You're so weird!

Simeon: But I'm your weirdo :3

Haruka: Shut it! [smacks him with her heels]

Simeon: You're not wearing your shirt by the way-

Haruka: Then look away!

Simeon: Okay, okay! [turns around]

Meanwhile, Ichigo is still in pain because her body is burning and none of the healing from Barbatos or Rosaria works.

Rosaria: Why won't it work?

Ichigo: It's too hot....why is my body burning?!

Asmo: Is it because of-

Beel: Asmodeus!

Asmo: No?

Beel: Of course not!

Lucifer: Perhaps we have to fully unlock her.

Michael: Fully unlock the angel.... fine guess that's the only way....

Lucifer: Do it! She might suffer more if you don't unlock it!

Michael sigh and unlocks Asterin's soul inside her body. Ichigo feels like something is changing and now in her body there's two souls. Hers and Asterin.

Ichigo: Who are you...

Asterin: I am you...

Ichigo: You can't be me, I'm me!

Asterin: Actually, I'm sort of you in your previous life but someone locks me in for some reason...

Ichigo: Right.... now what?

Asterin: Either we take turns in getting out or I have to be seperated from this body and have my own

Ichigo: Yeah about that...Grim Reapers gone and it's impossible for you to have a new body.

Asterin: Eh... good point.

In real life, Ichigo is unconscious because none of her souls want to appear. They're still discussing what to do until Haruka suddenly appears in the soul room.

Haruka: Hi-

Asterin: Who are you-

Ichigo: Haruka how did you get here?

Haruka: Magic...

Ichigo: Right anyways- why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be banging Simeon? :((

Haruka: Not today! I'm too tired to do that anyway! Anyways, I'm here to help you!

Ichigo: How??

Haruka: We'll see

Haruka uses her magic wand to create a new body for Asterin with her magic. Asterin stares at Haruka in confusion before getting herself sucked out of Ichigo's body and entering a whole new body.

Ichigo: ...where did she go?

Haruka: To her new body-

Ichigo: Really? [enters her body again to see, a.k.a we're going back to real life] OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME!!

Asterin: I am. Because I'm you in your previous life

Ichigo: This is so cool- :o

Asterin: Anyways, is that girl still in there?

Haruka: I am right here =_= [by Ichigo's side]

Michael: [sigh] That's relief. But Asterin, please stay away from Raphael.

Asterin: Whyyy??

Lucifer: Because he's obsessive =_=

Asterin: Oh my God, Lucifer!! Aaaa I miss you so much!! [hugs Lucifer]

Lucifer: Get off me.

Asterin: No!

Lucifer: Get off, I'm no longer your mentor!

Asterin: hmph! So mean! >:((

Michael: Pfft, I still remember those days you two are inseparable!

Asterin: Of course, he's my mento- Why are your wings black?

Lucifer: Silly girl, I'm a demon now!

Asterin: ... we lost?

Lucifer: Unfortunately... but I'm happy as a demon, so it's okay^^

Haruka: Awwwww

Lucifer: Wait... Haruka? Aren't you supposed to be with Simeon?

Haruka: Oh right...Simeon! [returns to her room]

Back in their room, Simeon is still waiting for her because she took quite some time to get back. Her task must be so difficult. Simeon frowns before lying down and sigh.

Simeon: Oh to be helping her right now :((

Haruka: [bangs the door open] I'm back!

Simeon: Oh my goodness! Oh, you're back! How did it go?

Haruka: It's a successful mission! She's safe!

Simeon: Oh that's good. Are they separated?

Haruka: [nods] And I never notice that Asterin's Lucifer's student.... :o

Simeon: She is^^ She's one of his favorites

Haruka: Ah, I see :o that's so cool!

Haruka: Anyways- [suddenly sits on Simeon's lap]

Simeon: o-o

Haruka: What? I've sat here before!

Simeon: Not as my wife!

Haruka: I'm still the same person!

Simeon: Still!

Can't you two just bang already?! Okay, okay. Not now...

Anyways, despite Simeon's protests Haruka shuts him up with a kiss because he's complains are annoying but also cute at the same time.

Haruka: Stop complaining okay? We're now married, so you can let loose-

Simeon: You sure?

Haruka: Of course^^

Simeon: Well don't mind me

Welp, I'll just stop the narration here because Simeon might not hold back today *laughs evilly* So back to the duo a.k.a Lucifer and Asterin.

Lucifer: Asterin, quit hugging me!

Asterin: No! You're my mentor and you've allowed me to hug you before! >:((

Lucifer: [sigh] I'm not your mentor anymore!

Asterin: Still [puppy eyes]

Lucifer: fine, do what you want.

Asterin: Yay!

Michael: pfft-

Lucifer: [glares at Michael]

Michael: What? It's been a while since you met her!

Lucifer: Whatever

Rosaria: Awww, how cute!

Ichigo: You're quite attached to Lucifer are you?

Asterin: Yep! He's my mentor and I'm his favorite student!

Lucifer: .... -_-"

Suddenly they hear a commotion outside. Probably the worried brothers because Rosaria bans them from coming in.

Beel: Ma'am, is she okay??

Rosaria: Of course she is!

Beel: Oh that's a relief.... :")

Rosaria: What? Once she's healthy you're gonna do nasty things on her again?! Control yourself you pervert!

Ichigo: Rosariaaaaaaa [whines]

Rosaria: Shush! It's for your own good!

Beel: I won't! I just want to see her!

ichigo: we can always make him use the bracelet again...

Michael: Good idea- [pulls out the bracelet]

Ichigo: You've been keeping that this whole time?!

Michael: Yeah ^^ [goes outside to put it on Beel]

Beel: But why? ;-;

Michael: So nothing bad will happen^^ Come on in~

Once Beel comes in, he's relief to see Ichigo is heal but he's just as confuse seeing Asterin hugging his big brother.

Beel: So this is Asterin?

Ichigo: Yeah^^ She's me in my previous life!

Beel: Ah I see... ^^

Lucifer: Don't ask -_-

Beel: I won't....? By the way how do you feel? Did anything happen? Are you still sick? [touches her forehead]

Ichigo: I'm fine! I'm completely healed now, no worries!

Beel: Oh, that's good...

Meanwhile Simeon and Haruka end up playing a pillow fight because why not.

Haruka: Ha! Take that! [smacks him with a pillow]

Simeon: Hey! No fair! Get back here! [chases after Haruka with his pillow]

Haruka: Nooo!! [runs off]

Simeon: [still chasing her]

Haruka: [hiding behind a sofa] can't catch me!

Simeon: I might!

At the end Haruka is still hiding before suddenly Simeon bumping on her and ends up on top of her. Oh wow-

Simeon: Ah, I'm so sorry.... Did you get hurt?

Haruka: Nah it's fine.... [touches his neck from behind]

Simeon: Right... I'll just get- [gets hold down by Haruka] Eh?

Haruka: What? You're leaving? :((

Simeon: Nah, I have another idea [carries her instead]

Haruka: What?! Hey! [gets carried to the bed room] Where are we going?!

Simeon: To our room, obviously-

Haruka: But...Simeon.... wait-

Simeon: What?

Haruka: Can we talk about sexual stuff? Since we're married and all?

Simeon: Of course! We're married!

Haruka: Still! Are you comfortable with that?

Simeon: As long as it's you^^

Haruka: Okay... ^^

Haruka: Uh.... can we do that thing when I'm ready? I'm not ready for those things now plus I'm very tired

Simeon: It's fine^^ Don't worry about it

Haruka: I just don't want to rush this relationship...

Simeon: I understand, don't worry. I just want to tuck you in [places her in bed and tucks her in]

Haruka: Okay.... thanks Simeon....

Simeon: Anything for you [kisses her forehead before going to her side] You're fine with me sleeping next to you right? Do you want me to sleep somewhere else instead?

Haruka: Nooo!! Please stay here!! I want your hugs too!!

Simeon: Okay^^ [gets on his side]

So that's how the wedding went! The two end up sleeping that night next to each other. What a wonderful relationship :3

[buckyisloved]

Drunken Rambles, Sober thoughts.

Ship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are old childhood friends who enter each others lives again, only to work together. Everything went smoothly, you were best friends again. But, after a couple drinks jealousy brews in his heart.

words: 1,646 

A/N: I wrote this not that long ago but I didn’t fully proof read if there was mistakes but I am way too tired to do that so here this is. Don’t question the tellytubby part it was really late XP

You and Bucky Barnes have been best friends since you were children.

After high school had ended you tried to keep in contact but that failed.

Little did you know that you'd be meeting up with the man himself again when you got a job at the avengers tower.

You worked as a scientist there besides tony and Bruce. You'd also help patch up the team. That's all you knew about though. You never really thought that The winter soldier was Bucky Barnes. So when you saw him again that day, your world became brighter.

"Ms. Y/l/n  how are you?" You here from behind you as you are making your way towards the tower. You spin around to see Tony Stark himself.

"Mr. Stark! It's so great to see you again!"

"Please y/n darling, call me Tony."

"Oh yes! Tony! Well I'm on my way up!"

He chuckles and looks down at your single bag of luggage. "Is that all you brought?"

You follow his eyes to the bag and left out a shy laugh, "It's all I need."

Tony laughs and takes the bag from your hands, and walks you into the tower.

The place was so big and so bright, you were almost scared.

"Please, follow Pepper she will lead you to your room." Snapping back to reality to turn back to Tony and see him and a beautiful blonde women.

"Hi! I'm pepper! Please come with me!"

You nod and go with her, the both of you go up a single stair case that leads to a hall way. You look at each door as you pass and realize that you were going to be placed in the same hall as the rest of the team.

You squeal to yourself as you get closer to your door.

Pepper tells you all about the hand scanner to get in and explains about friday the helpful AI in the building.

You thank her and go inside. Finally alone, you plop yourself into your bed. "I think I'm gonna like it here."

~~~~~

After unpacking the small amount of things you have you make your way out and into to lounge area to see if you can meet some of the team.

There on the couch sat three people, who seemed to be in a heated debate about something serious. "Yeah but what if we were in the world!"a spiky haired man says

"Honestly Clint I want to deck you right now." A stunning red head says

"Guys guys listen!" Captain America himself shouts "if we were in the Teletubby world you'd go nuts!"

You giggle to yourself, causing the team to look over in embarrassment.

You walk over only to automatically be greeted by the tall blonde. "Oh hi! Y-you must be the new scientist here? I'm sorry you had to hear that! Steve Rogers." He says taking a firm grip to your hand.

The other two nod and say their names as well.

"Well is nice to meet you all! My name is y/n y/l/n."

You hear a small slam from behind you. You turn around quickly to see a tall brunet looking at you with hope in his eyes. You glance down to see a discarded book on the floor, he must have dropped it.

"Y/n? Is that really you?"

You tilt your head walking closer to him, you examine his face and feel your eyes water up.

"Bucky!" You fling yourself into his arms and he spins you around. "Oh my god doll! It's been so long!" He places you down then crosses his arms. "How come I didn't hear from you?!"

You match his pose and look right back at him, "it's kind of hard to contact a super soldier."

His face tints red as you hear a coughing from behind you.

The team stares at the two of you looking for a story. Which Bucky always tells best.

"Guys, this is my bestfriend in the whole world. No offense Stevie you're still there too."

Steve clutches his chest and pretends to fall down.

Bucky explains the story with delight as you gaze upon him He's changed so much.

After he finished you checked your watch and stood up quickly. "Oh my god I have to go!"

Bucky looks towards you with an alarmed look on his face. "What's wrong doll?"

"I need to get to the lab." You say grabbing your bag and making your way to the door. You feel a slight tug on your shoulder and stop. "Well y/n, I can be your hall pass. Let me take you."

You let out a sigh of relief and follow him towards the lab. This is going to be great.

~~~~

You've been working with the team for a while now. Everything is going great!

The group of you sit in a circle playing never have I ever, drunkenly.

"Nev-never have I ever kissed someone recently." Tony says like a child

You chuckle and put a finger down, you feel all eyes on you.

"Ooooo y/n! Tell ussss!" Wanda slurs

"Hehe okayyy. Well! It was this cute boy!"

All the girls in the room 'ooo' and the guys fake a gag. Except Bucky, he had his stare right on you.

"What was his nammmmeeee?" Natasha begs

"Alex! But mehh he wasn't good in bed... shhhh."

The team all gasp and giggle like a bunch of toddlers.

"Alright alright! My turn!" Sam yells "never have I ever had a secret crush!"

Most of the teams fingers goes down, all except yours. They all give you 'mhm liar' looks.

"What?"

"You have a secret crush doll." Steve says smirking.

"Well... it's not so secret though."

Bucky face heats up and he looks away.

"I bet it's on that alex kid!" Natasha says whispering very loudly.

"What! Shhhhh!"

Next thing you know it Bucky is up and out of the room.

You glare at Natasha before getting up and following him.

"Buckyy?" You say stumbling through the halls.

You feel yourself trip, not sure what over but you were falling. Then, you weren't. You felt a strong grasp around your waist.

You smirk up and the blue eyes man as he frowns down at you. "Bucky! You saved me!" He stands you up straight and starts to leave again

"Where are you going though?" You say sounding like a crying puppy.

He sighs and turns around "Y/n you're drunk. Go to bed."

"But whyyy? I want to be with my bestfriend!" He stiffens and walks back over to you.

"Doll... I can't fight you right now, go to bed."

You frown and look into his eyes, you step closer and start tracing his chest. "Y/n! What are you doing?"

"I just...my secret crush is on you... but I didn't tell you that!"

You say stepping away with your hands up. Bucky frowns, groaning. "What? You don't like me?" You says placing your hands on your cheeks.

He automatically straightens up and marches over to you, holding your sides once again. "No doll, it's not that..." You slide your arms up and around his neck, draping them over his shoulders.

"Then what is it?" You whisper

"Doll, you're killing me right now."

You gasp dramatically and sit on the ground. "I am?"

Bucky chuckles and picks you up, carrying you bridal style in your arms. "Come on doll, I'm tucking you in."

You yawn out a yay and pass out in his arms.

He looks down at your sleeping figure and smiles warmly. "She likes me..."

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you wake up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, and a pounding headache on the side.

You look over to see a note with water and an Advil. You pick up the note and read it. "I'm not sure if you remember last night doll, but you had a lot of fun. I loved listening to all your stories. Please meet me on the roof."

You smile recognizing the hand writing and try to remember the night before.

Then it hit you.

"Oh." You sit up quick. "Oh god no."

You get up and dressed, rushing out to the roof.

There sat bucky at a small table , he had two plates of breakfast in front of him.

When he finally looks over to you he chuckles. "Good morning doll."

You hesitantly make your way over and sit in front of Bucky.

After a few moments of silence you finally speak up. "Look. I know what I said last night but if you don't feel that way can we just act like it never happened?"

Bucky looks back over to you with that alarmed look again and takes hold of your hands. "No no no doll! Listen."

You relax slightly and look into those eyes of his. "Last night was amazing, I'm glad you said that to me. It took me every bone in my body to not kiss you right then and there!"

Your cheeks turn pink and you look away, taking your hand back and putting them on your face. Bucky stands up and walks around and over to you. He takes your hands from your face and stands you up.

"But I don't like you y/n"

You feel your heart pang, you search his face for answers. So many questions flew in your head. "What? But you just said-"

"I'm in love with you doll."

You stare at him in shock. "You. Love. Me?"

He laughs and pulls you closer. You can feel the hunger on his lips.

"Since the day I met you y/n."

You laugh and look down. You feel his cold fingers lift your head back up. His smile now a serious look, he was almost searching your face. "Can I kiss you?" You catch your breath and nod.

He grins and leans in, taking your lips with his. You felt your soul intertwine with his.

Why hadn't the two of you done this already? "Doll I'm sorry this took me so long."

You shush him and kiss him again before pulling back. "I love you too you dope."

I hope you enjoyed! Please leave feedback!

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x13 watching notes

I’m posting this but you can pretty much watch my soul depart my body while reading so idk how entertaining it is to read because I got bored, not angry :P

Expectations? Well apparently the subplot is Dagon, who has been apparently by IMDB last time I checked cast as an asian actress, so she's going to die and that's going to be enraging (and it's Buckleming so she'll probably die of stupid, in a weird ass way) and she's hanging with Kelly and Lucifer's baby so THAT's going to be a disaster, so the subplot is already making my brain itch.

The main plot, on the other hand, I am ready to mock gleefully whichever way it comes and expect better than average Buckleming-ing because it's the MacLeods and they like them and put in extra effort. It's going to be like the true Dabb vs cars test - can he wrangle Buckleming to fix the plot hole that's existed basically the entire time I've been in fandom or will it remain hilariously open despite all this revisiting of the past and fixing, like, everything, that's been going on... Are they a law unto themselves or can they fall in line and deliver one of these Dabb-era canon reworkings that address what the fans want to see (aka, no stupid plotholes)? The plothole is SO egrarious they aaalmost pointed it out themselves in 9x21, commenting about how it was bad to keep Gavin from his proper death, but we have never seen COSMIC CONSEQUENCES from it, which are sort of a thing right now...

Though 9x21 has a whole little scene mocking fans, so idk how Buckleming feel but being nice to us is probably their last priority these days and they really do not fit in with all the other writers who are making love to the show :P

-

Recappy of 9x21 which I watched, like, the day before yesterday, so we're good. I do wonder if Sam and Dean not knowing the exposition of who Gavin is and what happened to him is the plothole already erasing their memories of 6x04.

Like, Crowley has to explain because even HE doesn't remember that incident, he just knows this about Gavin's ship??

Or will the recappy carry on with 6x04...

The good news is we get Sam delivering the line about Coooosmic Consequeeences again IN the recap. This automatically improves my mood.

Nah, on to "What the hell is a prince of hell" exposition without showing Gavin asking Crowley if he was one and Crowley cheekily handing him the title before regretting it and telling him not to ever mention it again, because one or the other of the 3 remaining Princes of Hell may have come for him :P

Poor Cas delivering clearly understandable exposition while bleeding into the Plaid Sofa - if the Princes keep being a thing then we're gonna see that a lot.

Oh thank fuck for Davy Perez and his clearly understandable one line exposition - Ramiel also mentioned the bun in the oven and his sister Dagon in one sentence and spared us clumsy Buckleming recapping of cobbling together a whole montage about this from various hints in the episode.

Listen I've done my rewatch up to where I joined in with fandom so I have now survived the recap of every single Buckleming episode while wryly commenting on it or watching fandom snark about it, and that's probably one of their best because it's so concise I would not have credited them

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*random generic ghost death after an incredbly long time watching this lady's bedtime routine* After 12 seasons I'm pretty numb to these deaths, which makes all the suspense kind of time wasting unless it's really well done or contains really obvious hints about the plot - ah well, it wasn't offensive and minimally gross on this show's scale, so :P

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Can't believe Dean doesn't sign off with "thanks babe" when talking to Cas. It would be so easy I'm actually confused when it doesn't happen.

He's out of focus but is he wearing a brand new purple shirt? Also have we seen Jensen wearing this at cons? The colour scheme is vaguely familiar but I may just be getting used to Dean wearing purple. Sam keeps swinging between blue and red (they're in the same scheme as last episode, purple and blue, here) and red and blue are the conflict colours - Dean's plaid has been suggesting unification and resolution especially given the colours he wore to talk God and Amara out of it. Purple is the natural extension of that where everything's mixed... or it's totally other symbolism of purple, but I like contrasting him and Sam, and Sam HAS been wearing red and blue at random, seeming a lot more scattered. And he's not talking to Mary.

Anyway the pattern of the plaid looks weirdly flat and 2-tone to me which is probably a commentary on the writing skills of the duo :P

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Mary and Ketch are in this episode. It's starting to seem really cluttered but hey I guess they're busy working on something? Could be a random lead in to next episode.

Could be classic Buckleming Clutter.

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I should stop judging but I would be worried about fitting in a ghost hunt and Crowley, Rowena and Gavin chatting, never mind throwing in a side plot, never mind not just doing basic exposition about what Kelly's up to but making it complicated with another set of main characters >.>

I do like seeing Mary though so

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Poor Cas being the only one not in the episode

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Yeah Mary's wearing red and blue striped plaid. Her ring is tucked into her shirt, and she's having fun killing monsters and testing the BMoL's toys with Ketch, who has been a John parallel at the very least for his completely uncompromising approach to monsters. Now it seems he's training her up, testing her to kill monsters (which in this underground carpark vibe place but a ton of dead monsters around her and the implication it's training, makes me think of 8x17 and Cas being trained to kill Dean - is Mary being made to harden up against monsters even more - including family like Cas.

-

I'm sure this will go very well for her.

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We cut to this because Dean mentioned how maybe Mary would want to work with them. He says they haven't seen her in a while, suggesting that a great deal of time has passed since 12x12 IF that was the last time they saw each other.

(I guess we have a huuuge fan fic gap now so Dean n Cas have probably been together for a few weeks at least)

I suppose all these time skips this part of the season are because there's a baby situation going on and they want to escalate it...

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I almost commented on Ketch's suit but realised I was about to compare it to Joan Watson because I did watch Elementary at some undisclosed point during these notes so far :P

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His stop watch thing seems like a gimmick playing off last episode though. Mary and timing - she refused to give up the colt while Ramiel had a stopwatch countdown. Now Ketch is timing her. She feels she's on borrowed time...

I'm sure this will go well for her.

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Blatant Dean reference is blatant when Mary claims she's hanging out watching pay per view and using the magic fingers. Filed under: ... do Buckleming realise how suggestive that was always meant to sound when Dean said it? Why is Mary telling Dean this. Sam always looks horrified when he catches Dean using magic fingers. THE GIFS OF HIM DOING IT.

Oh well. Buckleming.

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And then Mary says she's still resting up from the Ramiel thing. Honestly, my BFF might be shipping Mary and Cas to my despair but think about Sam and Dean - their mom and BFF are constantly not around and complaining about no leads on the case, just, like, resting up...

"You're an excellent liar, Mary" It is a family thing.

Has Ketch REALLY, REALLY never been told, put 2 and 2 together or otherwise had it made clear to him that Sam and Dean don't know Mary is working with them? Sure Sam and Dean saw them help in 12x09 but there's something different between calling for help and accepting the proposal and they KNOW they'd be suspicious to work with them after Toni

(Poor Toni, character assassinated in 2 episodes by Buckleming, who are now explaining her away as a rogue operative because they made her go past a point of no return and now she's been ditched from the story... Imagine if that happened happened and she was still allowed to be around without the very well-justified reason she's now the face of the BMoL torturing Sam and Dean and can't be allowed near them. And we thought from 12x01 she had a ton of potential to be interesting and nuanced and all... Argh)

Anyway this makes it very clear they're untrustworthy to work with because of the way they have to be all unsubtle about Ketch thinking that Toni went too far when SHE thinks HE's the psycho.

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"So... drink?" Oh, they're dating now I guess

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Huh, Crowley. Randomly. Whyyy.

I mean, why didn't they give him an episode to be all weird and sketchy about having Lucifer in his basement while dealing with his family nonsense without SHOWING him having Lucifer in his basement? 12x12 was slick but obviously did not have time to focus on that... Following it with what should be a Crowley-related fluff family episode about Gavin being useless and dorky (I assume. I watched 9x21 too recently and I'm helplessly attached to the doofus again) and Crowley, well, we could have shown him, like Mary being sketchy about the BMoL or Cas in season 6 being sketchy about working with Crowley, just kind of... itchy about time and what he can do and generally having a load of tells something's up... Keep Lucifer out of the episode entirely and focus on Crowley's emotional state to sort of retroactively add the emotional stuff that had to be left out for time and drama last time.

Like, 12x12 was so full on, you need a REST episode after which you think Gavin's return would be perfect MacLeod fluff, and we keep Lucifer away

But nah he's here so suddenly we have to see him and see Crowley interacting with him, and all that subtle menace and whatever from the end of 12x12 evaporates because we're just leaping right in. We shouldn't have seen Crowley until whatever brings him to hang out with the rest of the MacLeods later in the episode (as I'm pretty sure we saw them doing in a promo)

Ugh. :P

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Maybe I'm just being picky but I did NOT want to see Lucifer again immediately, and Crowley keeping that secret, and sure WE know he has Lucifer in his basement but no one else does so now we know Crowley's secret, tell it like he has one! Don't show us more!! LESS IS MORE

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Also whenever Crowley lectures Lucifer it just reeks of hubris like this is going to blow up in Crowley's face and now it feels like it's going to Buckleming up in his face instead of the more subtle way it could have gone.

Since they're now explaining how Crowley stole a Lucifer for himself.

Maybe Rowena knows he has him but in that case you think they'd use 12x11 to hint there's more Dean doesn't remember or shouldn't remember, OR have Rowena tease him on screen that she knows stuff he'd die to know if only he knew he had to know it :P

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Oh, nope, he just sabotaged it somehow. Even Rowena doesn't know.

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I know I have a lot of headaches pretty much permanently but there's one that shows up in a little line just above my eye that I'm sure is tuned only to the frequency of Buckleming episodes and only shows up when I watch one.

I'm burning a candle to ward off evil spirits.

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Didn't work

Just keysmashed at Mittens and went to go get another cup of tea. Buckleming... Pls. we're 5 minutes into the episode.

I mean in the interest of explaining random things that fans might complain about, explaining why Lucifer is Nick again is... I suppose... an effort...

I SUPPOSE it interests Crowley to collect everything remotely useful connected to Lucifer.

His diary for the week after Swan Song is packed.

I mean we always knew he was snooping around doing various behind the scenes things, but aside from anything else that's too much ass-pulling by saying Crowley did this Crowley did that 6-7 years ago in a row.

Not sure I can look directly at the rest of anything else that happened in the last minute of screen time :P

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Lucifer snarks about how stupid this all is. Including also pointing out something that was bugging me that I wasn't going to mention, that Crowley isn't even keeping Lucifer down in Hell where he can be SOMEWHAT contained, but he's got him surface level in his usual dingy rooms.

That comment is just inserting an eye roll :P

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Dean is suspicious about Mary's motives for being busy, while Sam is eager to explain it away, which I'm not even sure is flipping their positions about it or not, because Dean has been grumpy about Mary not wanting to hang out with them, but Sam was explaining THAT away too, so he mostly seems to be reacting to what Dean says in defence of Mary, which I guess may be making him less critical of her actions as he's getting to them through the filter of Dean complaining about her staying away or being weird. But of the 2 of them (while Cas has a few more reasons to be suspicious than her sons as of 12x12) Sam has more reason to seem suspicious of her because he was the one asking Mary how she was and asking Mary what SHE got them into last time.

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Maybe they're both sort of suspicious but beither wants to commit.

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Oh god we don't have to watch a guy die while he's peeing do we?

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oh good >.> He's just going to die randomly in this creepy bathroom

Does he have no preservation instinct

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Did Sam just say something about ADHD ghosts? Or was it something else and my hearing is messed up? It honestly barely makes sense in context because he was talking about how there's just a ton of haunted stuff at museums but obviously most of them don't seem to be aggressively haunted like this. (And I think it's a nice detail to assume that there's a lot of potential ghost activity at museums given they're ancient artefact-collecting places and those are the exact sort of things that might have a spirit attached.

maybe he said ancient ghosts.

Maybe I will assume he did even if it turns out to be "ADHD" when someone finds the captions for it because that makes more sense >.>

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*Dean messes with some priceless artefact weapons and we cringe as he drops them and wonder if this is a metaphor for Buckleming handling canon*

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Okay one small good thing: Dean remembers the detail about Gavin's ship.

Whether this is because Crowley told them or Bobby told them, I have no fucking clue but 6x04 only exists if Gavin is slam dunked back into his watery grave, so. Probably Crowley.

Anyway yay Dean's photographic memory.

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I actually had to go check with Mittens and demand spoilers if this ever gets addressed and fucking hell Crowley thinks the Winchesters actually killed the Nephilim already what the fuck what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK

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Fortunately on that note it's dinner time and I'm putting 7x20 on.

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Oh my god Crowley thinks the Winchesters killed the Nephilim??? THEY WERE ARRESTED MOMENTS LATER

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP SO BADLY YOU PUT PLOTHOLES IN YOUR OWN WRITING FROM LITERALLY THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE FOR THIS SHOW?

Does he think Cas did it??

he maaagically knows EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS EVER INCLUDING ANY PLOTHOLE FROM 10 YEARS AGO THEY WANT TO FILL

HOW

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Why did Crowley have this conversation in the same room as Lucifer and not even try to hide what he was talking about from him?

unrelated side note: why did Crowley think Sam and Dean killed the baby?

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Why did Lucifer say "Oh my dad" now the entire fandom has to stop making that joke ironically

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maybe if I don't comment on this plotline at all it doesn't happen

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Anyway! Sam and Dean stay at the museum overnight for some reason. Guess they really like the movies. Anyway they smuggled a Rowena in  with them. I should probably just stop asking questions at this point.

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Sam has also decided to stop wearing his jacket and is distractingly beefy and this is not coming lightly from me, a person who has never really objectified Sam ever except for maybe a little in season 7 when he has that hair and sideburns combo

I clearly need something to distract me here :P

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Also the last scene involved a lingering close up of a lady's chest. In a coat, but still. Dodgy camerawork to accompany everything else.

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*Sam casually manhandles Rowena and pfft I don't wanna ship it but yikes it's a messed up brilliant ship for Sam*

Dean has already kind of decided Rowena is OK, but Sam still has some serious issues and is also apparently grabby with her and well, 10x19 is still a thing, and... just gimme witch Sam already

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Oh yep there's Dagon. Now don't die. Already killed the angel in the black vessel, so this is all going well >.>

Blah blah usual line about demons being more sympathetic than angels and Lucifer is just misunderstood. Dagon's pretty cool but she is just reciting pretty much word for word other lines about Lucifer or angels or demons that other characters have already said in more dramatic and weighty episodes.

She does seem more sympathetic about the whole Lucifer's baby thing than anyone else so far.

Also how did random angels track Kelly when Cas couldn't

Also how did Dagon track her etc

The wide shot reveals the absolutely standard boots for female characters on TV which I started noticing and getting bemused about in Person of Interest and then I realised badasses like Parker wore them in Leverage, and now I can't stop seeing the everywhere on Action Female Characters I guess because there's a certain amount of high heel where you can kick butt and still run around. They still seem really unpractical compared to wearing non-heeled shoes but I suppose they're the limit for actresses who have to wear them all day. Eh.

Anyway Dagon seems nice and they have the same taste in boots so I guess they can be BFFs now.

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Oh my god we're past the midway point of the episode and finally we get to the promo scene which seemed like it had been at the start of the episode.

Nice to see this is getting the appropriate amount of emotional weight.

At least Dean's wearing his Cas plaid/plaid that looks like the sofa/TFW plaid

Sam is back in red.

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GAVIIIIIIIN

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I like how they said Crowley was sick to get him here... Crowley is kinda fucked over but not in that way.

Also what a gullible cookie to believe Crowley might get sick.

he doesn't know aaanything

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"That's my ship!" "should've been"

YEAH GAVIN GET ON THAT SHIP

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He's so sweet. "Oooh! There's Mr MacCallum(?)'s hook! Had no hand, ye see."

I feel weirdly proud of him

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Oh wow I'm Rowena in this scene

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Boooooring he had a girlfriend

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I mean I still love and support him but I am disappointed because 9x21 had that ambiguous guy who seemed to feel right at home in Gavin's one-bed room and assumed they were hooking up with Abaddon

oh well maybe Gavin thought he was single again what with the going to America thing/things had been complicated because of this guy and they were going to America together and Gavin retroactively was already feeling reeeeeally guilty about it before this all came back to - heh - haunt him. Maybe that's why he thought he was going to Hell - he was fucking off to America with his boyfriend after dumping Fiona because he was worried to take her with him for justifiable reasons about ship safety.

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SNOW

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I think there was some earlier in the dark but it was boring and dark

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Also hi I never see snow :P

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Mr Ketch still pestering Mary for a drink. He's really into her. Goes and brings up her kids though "It might be best if you were to... disengage from them, for a bit." - dude, that's all she's done all season

Oh look and her ring's back out in plain sight. (She's also wearing a grey plaid - totally drained of colour - "nothing comes before my family"

Oh he's REALLY hitting on her now, telling her she's the best hunter he's ever seen and she might play at being mummy, but blah blah blatant Mark of Cain Dean parallels about blade in her hand blood in the air that's the real you

"The best you"

And yeah all that same paralleling about how it scares her to be a killer etc that Dean goes through

As well as the "you play at - " phrasing that was so horrible levelled at Cas in 9x22 about playing at being one of the angels.

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This random museum lady has a ring on her necklace. She hasn't really done enough to be a Mary mirror?

Maybe things will change. At least for now she's just misplaced part of her exhibit because ghosts :P

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Pretty sure we saw the ghost go after the white lady but honestly knowing this show I'm kind of worried for her friend

Welp it's still chasing her

Ooh yay Winchesters saved her

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No time for character development. Too much going on. Gavin is already confronting his dead girlfriend

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I guess this is how Gavin gets talked to go on the ship, so he can protect her >.>

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They're blatantly just saying they can't burn the locket to justify sending Gavin back

I didn't watch 7x19 because I didn't want to put myself through it, but it does include a ghost having both bones and an item he's connected to aside from that he uses to move around, so I guess it's pre-existing Buckleming canon and I'm glad I remembered that without havig to relive the episode

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"You don't intend to tamper with the flow of time, do ye?" Do they hear the dialogue they write? :P Gavin... literally... is here... tampering with the flow of time... Sam and Dean are just sticking up for the exact thing they've always said about putting Gavin back where Abaddon found him.

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I guess Rowena is protesting because she likes him, but still... She might have found a better way to say it

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Awww no Gavin is alone someone please give him a hug

Well Rowena did earlier

more hugs for Gavin... at this point all I want out of the episode. I'm still watching FOR Gavin

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Hey Crowley. Popping up out of the blue with no explanation to defend Gavin some more.

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This is kind of anvil heavy about someone from the past deciding to go back because they don't fit in and there are loved ones back there which is all horribly grim Mary-related stuff >.>

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Though she doesn't have a "past" to return to, just Heaven, and we've had periodic opportunities for her to go back throughout the season so idk if it's maintaining the threat until the last minute like the way Dean suffered in season 11 with the temptation of Amara/the Empty that she represented, or just foreshadowing. Outside of Buckleming episodes I feel Dabb era is kind of more nuanced, but we'll see...

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*stares at the emotional beats in this scene some more* honestly that could have been worse. Crowley was probably way too over-emotional about it considering he resented that he didn't want Gavin to die in 9x21... Not sure that making him cry was particularly kind to him although maybe he's learned to stop hissing in horror at feelings and never really got better, just manages it more... Anyway, his attachment to Gavin is completely hypothetical since he's ditched him in the future without a glance back except for sulking about feelings some more. Idk maybe he's been keeping a better eye on him than he has on with Winchesters or he'd fuckin' know that they were still desperately looking for Kelly.

I suppose Cas has been shouldering that one more than the Winchesters, and he'd not chat to Crowley about it all.

Hrm.

Anyway, trite emotional scene and then they take Gavin off and just leave Rowena? Even Baby looks embarassed to be in this episode. Rowena didn't even come to see Gavin off??

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I'm glad their weird Latin spellbook helpfully has just the ingredients of the spell helpfully also listed in English just in case you were curious what they were/didn't remember them from last time

-

Eehehe the jar of angel feathers

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Henry Winchester nostalgia

"and Abaddon" I'm amazed the sad music didn't record scratch

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Also they're not even using the door.

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"Oh this is a tough one" Aw Dean don't get too over emotional :S

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*Sam notices a fly or something in the background while Dean looks all sappy about a love story*

Ugh I'll let Gavin have that. It makes no sense whatsoever how she appeared like that but okay :P They wanted to show us that I guess instead of just zapping Gavin back. Over-tell everything!!

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Anyway I guess "Dabb vs cars" is now to be tagged with a strong sense of pride :P

Although also some disappointment he still has to deal with Buckleming

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Also so this episode is still going on

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They rewrote history

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MARY

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She brought food!

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Terrifyingly coded food because Mom Beer and the betrayal burgers which date back to Cas in season 6

Dean is dramatic

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Also they've changed clothes so this may be up to 3 months later

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Oh dear, I think she's about to tell them she's hooked up with Mr Ketch in a Buckleming episode

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You know my terror of them fucking this up is actually making it seem like this conversation is going better than it could have. I've only been annoyed with like two details of charactersation/silly dialogue choices so far :P

Dean's just done the despairing blink realising that family is waaaaaay more complicated than just saying they're family

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Which he already knew but he has to go through it with Mary because this has been about tearing down all his notions about her and it doesn't work unless he's at least a LITTLE bit betrayed by her.

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Rowena and Crowley... okay that wasn't the end of the episode.

Yay Rowena I guess :P I can't believe anyone still remembered 10x23 - we were sort of mostly pretending it didn't happen. (Also blaming Crowley for everything, not Sam even though he's the one who started it) - but Rowena remembered >.> And she rights the wrongs done against her. Always. 

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*random spooky end*