#god my parents were the worst growing up theyre so chill now but as a teen i was terrified to make eyecntact w them

[smalltragedy]

* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.

ARSON TW

mini playlist.

wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.

statistics.

full name: kirby wormwood (currently).

nickname(s): magpie.

birthday: december 1st, 1995.

zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.

mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the hellion.

hometown: abilene, texas.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.

n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.

it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 

fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.

names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL

theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.

honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.

now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 

anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.

arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //

n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.

anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.

they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.

theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..

personality & facts.

has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself

has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 

honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF

acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...

both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 

probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 

likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.

does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 

bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 

uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.

very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.

loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.

likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.

probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.

will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.

perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.

i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.

wanted plots.

part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 

hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS

one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 

n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.

[chimcharstar]

Questions 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100! ANSWER THEM ALL!!!!!!

LETS DO THIS

99 gay-ish asks

how tall are you?5 SOMETHING

what is your body type?SLENDERMAN

what is your favorite part about your body?THE T

is your current hair color your natural hair color?YES

are you more outgoing or more shy?SHY

are you more femme or butch?ITS COMPLICATED, BUT, BUTCH

are you tol or smol?APPARENTLY IM TWINK. NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS ON THIS SCALE

wine mom or vodka aunt?NO

weird habit?I EAT BREAKFAST FOOD AT ANY HOUR

favorite meme?VIBE CHECK, IM SMUG ABOUT MY URL

do you sing in the shower?NO BUT I USED TO. JUST SHY ABOUT ROOMMATES. I DO IN MY CAR

ever used a bow and arrow?NO, BUT MY BROTHER DESIGNED AND BUILT ONE, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MAKING A WEAPON

are/were you a theatre kid?IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE IM ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EGO, YES

have you ever seen a broadway musical?NO

do you think musicals are cheesy?NO I THINK THEYRE JUST A MEDIUM OF ART

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?NO WEIRDLY

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?IDK THEM

last movie you watched?PROBABLY MEGEAMIND

behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND. BUT BOTH IS GOOD

favorite tv show?AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

meaning behind your urlTHE ACTUAL REASON IS IT REMINDS ME I CAN TRUST MY INTUITION

reason you joined tumblrA CRUSH WROTE IN MY YEARBOOK I SHOULD GET IT. DONT WRITE THAT IN PEOPLES YEARBOOKS

who’s your closest tumblr friend?THE PERSON ASKING ME 99 QUESTIONS

what’s something most people love that you hate?TACOS AT WORK. THEYRE POPULAR OF COURSE. I MAY NOT KNOW MY TACOS, BUT PLAIN RAW CABBAGE ON THEM MAKES ME DOUBT

have you ever taken narcotics?NO

have you had sex?NO

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?I DONT GET CAUGHT!!!! IM SO SNEAKY… AND TRAUMATIZED. I ONLY GOT CAUGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE, HUNTING ME. NOT FAIR. ALSO HOW DO YOU “GET CAUGHT” FOR DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE READING AND HAVING CLOTHES

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?PROBABLY THE REASSURING CHRISTIAN VALUES THINGS I TOLD MY PARENTS TO GET MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE INCONVENIENTLY TRUTHFUL, THAT WAS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE LYING IN A RIDICULOUS SITUATION, AND THE WORST BECAUSE WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE TO DO. IT WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCING BECAUSE I MIXED IT WITH THE TRUTH I COULD SINCERELY EXPRESS

describe your passion without mentioning it.HEY GUYS IM WRITING CHAPTER 1 AGAIN I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME

describe your best friend.WARM STRONG RESILIENT UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING KINDLY HONEST CREATIVE TALENTED BRAVE HARDWORKING BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL NURTURING SELF CONFIDENT

give us one thing about you that no one knows.NO ONE KNOWS THE GRITTY DETAILS OF SOME SAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST. DID YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF HOSPITAL FOOD FROM WHEN I VISITED A FAMILY MEMBER IN A PSYCH WARD

how do you feel right now?GOOD, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO BED THOUGH

what is your biggest fear?BREAKING SELF HARM STREAK

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?SING A SONG EARTH WIND AND FIRE

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?LEAVING MY PARENTS. ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO UNLEARN SO MUCH SELF-DEFEATING STUFF

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BUT IM CHILL

something you fantasize about.ACTUALLY DANCING TO MUSIC I LIKE. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BUT I WANT TO SFM

last time you cried and whyTHAT PREACHER GUY IN LUCIFER. IT SUCKED BUT IM SO BLOWN AWAY BY LUCIFERS ANGRY YELLING AT THE SKY. WHAT A GIANT MOOD

what was the last thing that made you laugh?MY SISTER ASKING ME WHAT DILF MEANT

do you really, truly miss someone right now?NO. IF I MISS SOMEONE, ITS A SIGN THEY WERE A BAG OF DICKS TO ME AND MESSED UP MY INNER CLARITY

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?YOU

the last time you felt broken?WHEN MY TWO FRIENDS AT THE TIME GANGED UP ON ME AND ABANDONED ME AT A NOT PRETTY TIME IN MY LIFE. I COULDNT EAT WHICH AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH EATING, I NEVER USED TO

are you starting to realize anything?THAT IF I RELY ON MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, ILL EXPECT TO FAIL AND SABOTAGE MYSELF, AND INSTEAD I NEED TO TAKE RISKS AND PUT FAITH IN MY FUTURE.

are you more dominant or more submissive?THERES EVIDENCE FOR BOTH, BUT I THINK THE LATTER IS JUST FROM ABUSE AND GIRL RULES

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)WASH YOUR HANDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?AROUND MY AGE THERE IS SOME UNDERSTANDING

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.IM NOT IN LOVE I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. I MAY HAVE A SQUISH

do you have any kinks?MAYBE SO

first thing you notice in a person?HOW THEY HANDLE STRESS AND PROBLEMS, IF THEY BLAME/GET ANGRY, OR IF THEY ARE COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT. LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS

how can someone win your heart?FOOD. CHEESECAKE WAS A POWER MOVE. BONDING… OVER FOOD. I HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES ATTACHED TO BEVERAGES.

been rejected by a crush?YES

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?YES

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?NO

is trust a big issue for you?YES

did you hang out with the person you like recently?NO

is confidence cute?YES, SELF LOVE LOOKS GOOD ON PEOPLE

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?GOOD FOR THEM. I DONT LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?NO. GIGGLING LIKE A LUNATIC IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO KEEP UP

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?IF THEYRE FEELINGS, PROBABLY, BECAUSE IM TRANSPARENT

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?IVE HAD MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED FOR MY FTM TRANSITION

do you want to get marriedYEAH WHEN IM FIFTY THEN ILL GET A BUNCH OF DOGS AND CATS AND CHICKENS

worst thing you’ve ever done?APPARENTLY IVE BORROWED BOOKS AND NEVER RETURNED THEM

three things that turn you on.IM GOING THRU PUBERTY 2, TEENAGE BOY EDITION, IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH

who do you hate?I DONT LIKE SUCH SIMPLE CATEGORIES, BUT I START TO FEEL HATRED WITH REPEATED CRUELTY/WHEN SOMEONE REFUSES TO HEAR ME

favorite term of endearment?MY FRIEND

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?I DIDNT REALLY HAVE TVS/POP CULTURE GROWING UP LIKE MOST PEOPLE, PROBABLY FOUND IT IN CREATIVE WRITING

intimidating girls or kind girls?KIND

what do you look for in a possible partner?EQUALITY

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?YES

are you good at flirting?PERHAPS. WHEN IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT

who was the first person you came out to?I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER. A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. IT WAS A STRESSFUL COMPLICATED TIME, MY WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN, IT WAS GRADUAL

do you have any friends who are wlw?PROBABLY

is your crush wlw?IDK

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?A DOUCHE CANOE UNFORTUNATELY

write a short love poem to your crush/self?DEAR PERSON,THANK YOU FOR THE CHEESECAKEIT WAS SO GOODBUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FROM YOU

do you fall in love easily?NO. I WISH I DID. I COULD USE THE HIGH TO GET STUFF DONE

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?I HATE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED, SO I JUST DONT. I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW. AM I GOING TO TRIGGER PEOPLE? AND IT IS SHROUDED IN SHAME AND FEAR.

are you good at hiding your feelings?YES, WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO

are you a forgiving person?NO. I USED TO BE ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS, AND GREW UP FORGIVING ABUSIVE CYCLES, IT WAS SO UNHEALTHY. NOW I FEEL LIKE A CROW HOLDING GRUDGES FOR CENTURIES, AND I DONT WANT TO BE BITTER EITHER – I OFTEN FEEL BAD FOR NOT FORGIVING, EVEN IF ITS JUST FORGIVENESS FOR MY OWN SAKE. BUT ITS A NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT IM ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL ANGRY, BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT BEING WRONGED, WANT JUSTICE FOR MYSELF. AND MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN.

what is your “type?”I DONT KNOW. I RECENTLY STARTED GROWING SOME SELF WORTH, AND I DONT THINK THE PEOPLE IVE SOUGHT OUT TO RELIVE MY PAIN COUNTS

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?LAST ONE

tall girls or short girls?BOTH IS GOOD

hugs or kisses?HUGS

twirl her around or get twirled?I WANNA TWIRL PEOPLE

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?BOTH

hairline kisses or neck kisses?NECK

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?PLAYING WITH HAIR

making out or soft kisses?MAKING OUT

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?WAIST

how confident are you in your sexuality?I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME IM NOT. IM SHY, AND MY NERDY CHRISTIAN VIBE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. IM ALSO JUST BEGINNING TO LIVE AS MYSELF AND IM RELEARNING EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO REALLY KNOWING MYSELF IM CONFIDENT

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?NO. I WILL START CRANKING OUT ART AND FOCUS LESS THAN USUAL

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?YES

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?20ISH BUT THE SIGNS WERE THERE LONG BEFORE

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?I GOT MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED REMEMBER

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?I DONT KNOW MANY BUT IM HAPPY FOR THE CANON MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?MY SISTER PROJECTING ABOUT HER LIFE. WE HAVE CONSERVATIVE MISOGYNIST PARENTS BUT WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IT DID NOT AFFECT US IN THE SAME WAY

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTING SOMETHING NICE A STRANGER SAID ONCE

what is love to you?NOT SOMETHING YOU DISPENSE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ITS A WAY OF LIVING – IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, AND YOU LOVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND TAKE CARE OF IT. ITS NEITHER FAWNING NOR CONTROL – ITS ACCEPTANCE

ask me anything.YOU DIDNT ASK ME ANYTHING SO IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. IVE BEEN EATING POPCORN CHICKEN WITH HONEY

[pinesconessecrets]

Ice to Meet You

Merry Christmas @ladynightmare12 ! I hope you enjoy the fic!! <: I had a lot of fun with the soulmate AU, since it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. I combined it with the first meetings AU too. Have a great Christmas! <3

****

Wirt had given up on trying to find his soulmate when he was thirteen. He still remembered the conversation that came after he mentioned it to his mom. She had choked on her tea, wheezing until she’d managed to regain control of herself again. Then began the spiel about, “Oh, sweetie. You’ll meet her at some point in your life, don’t give up now!” and Wirt just sighed. Internally, of course. He didn’t want to upset his mom any further. A good bit of everyone in his grade had found their soulmate, leaving Wirt feeling terribly alone. Sara tried to comfort him, except she ran into her soulmate a few months later; it was some guy named Brian. That was a fun day.

He was a little more than relieved to graduate high school, which meant moving away to a college in a different state. A college in Oregon had caught his eye and he applied, half expecting to get denied. But lo and behold, the college actually accepted him and even had a full ride scholarship too.

Greg was against Wirt moving across the country when he broke the news. Wirt reassured him that he would call every day and keep in touch. He wouldn’t be left out just because Wirt didn’t live in the same house anymore.

Wirt enjoyed the trip to Oregon. His parents rented a small u-Haul for the stuff Wirt could take to put in his dorm. He was lucky enough to score a single person room, complete with his own bathroom. He didn’t think he could have managed if he had to share a dorm and a bathroom, much less having to suffer from public bathrooms.

They made the drive out to be like a mini vacation, taking their time since they left a few days early. Wirt’s nerves almost got the best of him a few times, the realization of him living somewhere that wasn’t with his mom and stepdad. Thankfully Greg managed to quickly distract him before he grew too anxious, eerily able to quickly figure out when his nerves were beginning to act up.

With the help of everyone, it didn’t take long before Wirt’s room was set up. He still had a few things to tweak here and there, like moving his desk closer to the window and hanging up his poems on the walls. He didn’t have much time to be particularly picky about how his room was set up with his parents and brother around.

They stayed in town for a few days, exploring the place with Wirt in tow. It definitely was a college town considering the absurd amount of fast food restaurants around. Like seriously, who needed this many fast food places? At least there were a few cafes for Wirt to hang out in. Cafes were pretty sweet places to chill at and they had a great effect on Wirt when it came to writing poetry. He was excited about that.

Tears were shed by his mom and Greg on the day they had to leave. Greg made Wirt promise to call him every day, and that was a rock fact. Wirt lingered in the parking lot for a bit longer than he intended, staring off into space before letting out a long sigh. He hoped he would be able to survive the semester before Christmas break. His next adventure in life had begun, only to bring challenges he had no way to prepare for.

Wirt got to studying diligently when the semester began. The majority of his classes were the core classes every freshman were required to take, including math. Thank god that he only needed to take two semesters of it due to his major in English. Math was one of his most detested classes; it was the worst. Maybe he was being overly dramatic, but Wirt would rather prefer to listen to someone scrape their nails on a chalkboard repeatedly for hours than be stuck in math class for even an hour. The entire point was above him, and the fact that other kids were majoring in math just blew his mind. They were to be feared.

The semester started out slow but picked up steam as the weeks went on. Midterms came and went, letting Wirt breathe a sigh of relief when his passing grades were posted.

He video called Greg before he went out trick or treating on Halloween, both happy and mortified that Greg decided to go as a garden gnome. Their trip to the Unknown was still very present in their minds years after it happened. At least now it was easier to deal with, and they didn’t have to worry about being sent into a fit of panic when winter rolled around anymore. Wirt admitted that Greg wore the outfit far better than he did, earning a protest of “No, you wore it better!” from Greg. They bickered back and forth until their mom told them to knock it out or else Greg wouldn’t be getting any candy that year. That shut Greg up and he hastily told Wirt goodbye and that he’d show him how much candy he got before going to bed.

Wirt found himself growing progressively more stressed as the end of the semester rolled around. His professors shoved study guides down their student’s throats and made it very clear that passing their finals would make or break their grades. Wirt found himself spending more and more time at his favorite cafe. He would have been surprised that he hadn’t drunk all of their tea if he wasn’t so stressed about passing his finals.

A week before finals, the unthinkable happened.

Wirt was on his way to the Jasmine Brew Cafe, lost in thought about his upcoming math final. It was the one he dreaded the most, and rightfully so. Other students in his class struggled as much as he did. The professor didn’t know how to break down the lesson so other kids could understand what he was trying to teach. Wirt barely managed to understand what the heck he was talking about most the time, and he hoped it would be enough.

Of course, the dork was so lost in thought that he wasn’t watching where he was walking. His foot made contact with frozen ice on the sidewalk, causing him to slip and fall down to the pavement. Wirt miraculously held onto his notebooks, laying on his back, winded from his fall.

Someone with unruly brown hair peered down at him with a look of mild concern. Wirt wished he could turn invisible because he knew that everyone around him saw what just happened.

“Hi there. It’s ice to meet you finally.” The other boy paused, before continuing. “I hope that’s not weird? I’ve seen you around campus before and I noticed you were always alone and I was going to say hi but I always got distracted and oh my god I’m sorry I’m kinda rambling. I tend to do that a lot and my sister always punches me and yep I’m gonna shut up now.”

Wirt’s wrist burned. That was what his stupid soulmate mark said. ‘Hi there, it’s ice to meet you finally.’

He wanted to say something witty back, but all that could come out of his mouth was, “Was that a motherfucking pun?” He rarely cussed, but dangit he was sleep deprived and angry that he was stupid enough to fall and slip on ice.

The other boy blanched, his extended hand frozen in shock. Wirt shuffled to his feet, clutching his notebooks to his chest. An awkward silence enveloped the two, only to be broken by the other boy.

“Do you want to go somewhere warm? Get some coffee or something?”

Wirt broke free of his surprise. “Uh, um, sure. I was heading to the Jasmine Brew Cafe to get some studying done. It’s right up the street here.”

“Cool. I’ve only been there once or twice, so lead the way.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at Wirt expectantly.

“Right.” Wirt turned on his heels and began walking to the cafe, fidgeting with the spiral of a notebook. He knew that he was probably acting slightly like a jerk. Okay, a lot like a jerk. He had spent the majority of his teenage years resenting the idea of soulmates, knowing he’d never find his and that he’d live the rest of his life alone. But look what happened. He ran into his soulmate.

The rush of warm air made Wirt feel grateful for heating, heading to his usual spot by the wall. He sat with his back to the wall, and a large window to his left. Being able to look out into the street helped declutter his mind.

He almost relaxed, until the other boy - his soulmate - slid into the chair across from him. He looked as nervous as Wirt was.

“I’m Dipper, by the way. I don’t think I introduced myself yet.”

“Wirt. It’s um, nice to meet you, I guess,” he mumbled, his awkwardness hitting him like a fricking train. Now that the fact that yep, him finding his soulmate was a thing, was starting to sink in, a feeling of panic also begun to set in too.

“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re freaking out there a little. I mean, I’m kinda freaking out too, but that’s because I’m super pumped to have finally run into my soulmate.” Dipper looked giddy almost.

Wirt chewed on a nail. “Y-yeah, I’m okay. It’s just… I gave up on finding my soulmate years ago, so I never thought I would actually run into them. I hope you don’t think I’m a jerk or anything because oh my god I feel so bad for being cold to you.”

When Dipper was silent, Wirt looked up to find him holding back a snicker. With the biggest shit eating grin, Dipper replied, “Was that a motherfucking pun?”

“Oh my god.” Wirt groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “Do not use my own words against me.”

“Kinda hard to considering they’re right here.” Dipper rolled his sleeve back, revealing the words scrawled across his arm. God, they were even in Wirt’s own handwriting. How crazy was that?

Wirt reached out to touch the words on Dipper’s arm, stopping short once he realized what he was about to do. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to take in. But I don’t mind if you wanna take a closer look at them.” His voice was quiet.

Figuring that he may as well roll with the punches, Wirt pulled his own sleeve back, exposing Dipper’s godawful pun written on the inside of his forearm. Dipper didn’t hesitate before running his fingers over Wirt’s pale skin, tracing the scratchy letters of his own handwriting. It looked different from his own, his letters rushed and hurried versus the flowing loops of Wirt’s.

Wirt finally caved and traced the words on Dipper’s arm. The two dorks sat in silence, no words needing to be exchanged as they let the importance of the day truly sink in.

The corners of Dipper’s mouth quirked up in a grin after a while. “So, did you wanna get a coffee and chat? And maybe tell me how you’ve bean all these years.”

Wirt had a feeling the puns weren’t ever going to stop.

[b4ndit]

its crazy to think how long ive been on tumblr. i was using this shit in 6th grade. i was like 12. im turning 21 in april, thats 9 years in this hellsite. im bound here by blood at this point

[aparoxysm]

all super detailed questions about Sally ✿♥‿♥✿

( @requicms , @sammrps --- koda, may and brandon are mentioned in this and you dont have to read because its HELLA LONG, but yeah. )

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Every once and a while I’ll stumble across a name and be like “WOW why don’t people use this name more??? i love it??” and at the time, Sally was one of them. I knew most people always associated it with Nightmare Before Christmas/Blink 182 and I wanted to defy that with a character. I chose Redmayne because I’m a piece of shit and she’s got red hair so sue me hahahahaha. I wish I’d chosen something else now tbh. 

But Sally does mean “a sudden charge out of a besieged place against the enemy; a sortie.” which I think is unexpectedly more than accurate.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Weak But Skilled, City Mouse, Control Freak, Daddy’s Girl, The Fashionista, The Fighting Narcissist, Ice Queen, Idle Rich, Insufferable Genius, Iron Lady,Lonely Rich Kid, The Prima Donna, Rich Bitch, Schemer, Socialite, Spoiled Brat.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

In the grand scheme of things, Sally’s childhood was perfect. She grew up getting whatever it is she wanted, especially out of fear that since she’s adopted, if she didn’t, she would use her power to resent them for not being her biological parents. If there is anything that runs in their family, it is shallowness and insecurity. Good memories involve visiting holiday homes, travelling, going to broadway and fashion shows. Bad memories involve the first time she learned she was allergic to cats, swelling up to the size of twenty balloons and being hospitalized for a week, and her dad’s having to take time off.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

On the over all, Sally has good relationships with both her adoptive parents. Jacob is a primadonna, a total diva, a socielite and a fashionista. She’s learned all of her high class, spoiled brat, fashion queen, superior antics from him. He likes to think he’s taught her everything there is to know about being a powerful woman among stupid men. She idolizes him

Peter, on the other hand, is far more reclusive and down to earth. He’s taught her the improtance of fairness, honesty and goodness. He was the one who always comforted her about her lonliness, the one who encouraged her to let herself be open to the idea of friendship with Kitty, he’s the one who’s always been there for a real piece of sound advice from the heart, rather than the head.

As for her birth parents, she’s met her mother, and they are nothing alike. She hasn’t yet gone to look for her father, but I hope to explore that soon.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

I think that she does and she doesn’t know it yet. I have in mind a half brother, from her father’s side. A Dane Dehaan, a real Jerk With A Heart Of Gold type character. Someone who is comfortably wealthy but doesn’t see eye-to-eye with his father’s success. And I think that they would connect on a level of being kept out in the cold. I’d love to explore the idea more, but for now, it’s just that.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

She was ever studious and typically the person everyone hated because she reminded the teacher that there was assigned homework. She graduated with flying colours, then went on to Uni and got accepted into an amazingly prestigeous program that allowed her to study in France and finish her degree. I forget what it was called, but I reasearched the school and their degrees. It was a combination of Fashion and Science and how the two enterlocked, very Sally. Fibre science I think or something. She loved all of her subjects, she’s such a nerd. She especially liked writing essays though, anything with writing and she was getting 100%. I think she only hated the practical side of things, like she is okay at sewing but I don’t see her being amazing at it. I think she likes the theory of textiles and likes telling people how to make them.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

NOpe! Nic was headcanoned as her childhood friend since preschool, since her and his parents crossed over a lot with the town’s reputation. Jacob and Blanca were best of friends for many years so they pushed Sally and Nic to be the same, which they did, so there was that.

Otherwise in high school her only friend was Kitty. And after school, Koda. That was it basically. 3 Friends LOL. Now after all of that, she’s adding Brandon into the mix. She’s so picky with the people she shares herself with, I’m amazed she even has a handful.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

Yes, her sweet little handbag dog, Amé. She was a birthday present a couple of years ago. She doesn’t really like animals no, they make her squeamish, but Amé is very quiet and gentlenatured, the perfect companion for Sally. She often is sleeping on Sally’s bed, her own doggy bed, or the couch. She’s kind of a quiet company for Sally, whom she sometimes talks to when she needs to vent her feelings. The only time Amé acts up is around people she doesn’t know, she gets way too excited and Sally hates it. She only likes when Amé is calm.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

HAHA nope. Sally with a big dog would be her Worst Nightmare™.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

She does and she doesn’t like children. Like with her dog, when they’re quiet and they behave, she loves them. The moment they throw a tantrum or are loud or messy, she has to tell herself to chill out or else she’ll have a melt down. I feel like children hate her, even when she tries to like them and goes out of her characteristic way to be nice. Theyre just like “NO” and shes like “ok listen here u little twit if you dont appreciate what i am doing for you ---”

So I think as a parent she would be very controlling. Too controlling and her partner would have to encourage her to ease up sometimes, that her children arent projects to be completely controlled, that making mistakes is part of learning and growing up. And that would be so hard for Sally to let happen. She was such a good behaved child and she let her parents condition every aspect of her (well, mostly Jacob), so not doing the same would just make no sense to her.

She would be the most spoiling and scary-when-mad godparent/babysitter/etc.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

For the longest time she was vegetarian and didn’t drink alcohol AT all. Now, with character development, she’s gone vegan but allowed herself to drink on special occasions. She does, however, have an immense allergy to cat hair and some medications.

12. What is their favourite food? 

Sushi!!! (And her biggest guilty pleasure; macaroons. Dont let her near them she will eat them all uncontrollably. And feel ashamed every time.)

13. What is their least favourite food?

Meat.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Luis’ restauraunt ha ha ha. No but her and Nic used to always go for seafood, and she would break her vegetarian rules for him and eat shrimp. Now, I think she just enjoys going for green juices with May, and sushi train with Kitty. Also, take away will always remind her of Koda. And coffee dates, of Brandon. I feel like she has a scheduled day of the week for each other these hahaha.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

HAHAHAHA. Sally can’t cook, and she’d never really been interested in learning. Having a live-in housemaid kind of stopped her from learning to do anything domestic. She can’t cook, doesn’t know how to do laundry, and never got her driver’s lisence. She is a failure of a human in those aspects.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

Sally used to love doing crafts, and she would make cards every year for birthdays and holidays. So I imagine she still collects craft things for that, but never does it anymore because she’s too busy. They just kind of lay on her desk or in their craft box, never getting used. 

Of course, she also collects shoes and clothes. Duh.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

Not really, she’s never had an eye for photography, and she hasn’t really had the chance to understand how a proper DSLR works. Mostly I think because she doesn’t really like being in photos. I imagine Kitty would always be like “!!!” when she’s photographed at a social event, showing off the print and Sally is just lowkey trying not to snatch it and burn it (but also look at it a lot in secret first to notice all her shallow imperfections). If anything, I think she would take photos of her parents on vacations, or of Kitty because she’d be constantly thrown her phone like “TAKE A PHOTO OF ME WITH THESE DOLPHINS!! HERE, TAKE A PHOTO OF ME LOOKING HOT BY THE POOL!!! OH MY GOD, LET ME GO STAND OVER THERE, YOU CAN TAKE A PHOTO!!” but also she would force Sally to be in some as well.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Books: factual.Music: quiet, indie.Tv Shows: soap opera, dramatic not comical.Films: black and white, foreign with subtitles, romance, dark and philosophical themes.Video games; none.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

Books: teen, sci-fi.Music: loud, obnoxious, rap, nsfw content.Tv Shows: comedic, ones that dont really follow a story line.Films: action.Video games; all.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Okay she loves classic musicals. Like she is a big Les Misérables fan which is annoying because I hate it. I think she also LOVED the Lion King broadway show, Hairspray, Pracilla and like. Wicked obviously.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Oh she has a temper alright. But at the same time, sometimes, she can have incredible patiences. Like if she knows it’s worth waiting for (Kitty’s soberity, Koda’s health regeneration, Brandon’s ability to let her in) she’ll be a as patient as a saint. But she does lose her temper a lot, and she just goes full on control freak mode. She becomes impossible to deal with, so you kind of just need to let her ride it out. 

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

You’re impossible. / You’re insufferable. / I hate you. / Excuse me? / etc.

She will insult people for just about any reason she sees fit.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Annoyingly good memory. She’ll remember something you said on Tuesday the 14th of April, 1982.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

She’s that impossible creature that sleeps on a bed of 100 pillows, with her hands neatly folded over her sternum, hair laid out like sleeping beauty. She sleeps on pastel silk sheets, the hardest matress you’ll probably ever feel, and she goes to bed at exactly 9.30 pm every night and wakes at 6am every day without fail.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

When people think they’re better or smarter than her. She’s got a shit sense of humour though, she isn’t used to being the one making the jokes. She’s not really that funny tbh. Nor does she usually find other people’s sense of humour worth her time. So if she laughs at things you say, you’ve made it.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

She cannot sing to save her life, so I think she talks to herself a lot. But the upbeat, chipper kind of way, that you’d notice because you can’t ignore it. I think she also does random acts of kindness, and that is super uncharacteristic, so you would definitely notice that too. 

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

The fact she’s lonely, the fact that her birth mother doesn’t want anything to do with her, the fact that she can’t have everything she wants at the drop of a hat, the fact that she doesn’t know how to make friends or feel normal like everyone else. And yeah, she’s got a lot of pent up emotion and doesn’t really know how to deal with being sad or disappointed. So I think mostly, she’ll go into her closet, shut the door and cry. She wont cry in front of someone else if she can help it. She’s too private about herself, she’d never let someone see she’s fallen from her perch.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

That she’ll always feel how lonely she feels right now. Or that she’ll never have what everyone else has; friendship, family and a partner.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

I think it shocks her because to find out a persons fear, you need to be let in close to look at them, and she’s never expecting to be liked enough to be given that privilage. So she mostly falls silent, and just quietly thinks about it for a long time. Then, yeah, she gets protective and starts culling ways to help people achieve their goals rather than bring them down. Once she cares, she’s feircely supportive.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

She goes for a 6.30 am run every day aside from Sundays and Mondays. Then she does yoga and pilates some other days, and has a very strict diet to keep the weight off. She was a bit chunkier in high school and the memory still horrifies her, even though it was just baby fat.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Only on special occasions, like public events and holidays. I don’t think she’s ever been drunk before to be honest, but if she were to get drunk, just think of the scene where Kat Stratford drinks and starts dancing like a looney on the table, making a fool of herself. Yeah. Probably Sally lbh. Also, she’d get into political wars with everything, including a tree or chair.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

She wears a lot of Chanel the most, Prada shoes and handbags, and Gucci accessories. She wears lots of pasels, whites, creams, nudes, pinks, rosegolds, gold and browns. All the material is wears is high quality, and to sleep, she wears a pink silk nighty. She wears mineral cruelty free make up, and it’s all soft golds, browns, coppers and rose golds as well. She usually wears her hair up for work, down at home, and in a braid when she’s by herself or around someone she feels comfortable with. It’s her “chilled out” hair style, believe it or not.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Pinks and whites, probably lacey tbh, and probably very expensive. She’s very much into haute couture so I can’t imagine her settling for non descript bonds or something. She probably has the most beautiful underwear sets that never go to any sexual use LOL.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

She is short af. Hence why she likes to wear heels so often, even though she wears flats a lot, there’s no in between. While she’s skinny, I imagine she has lean thighs, like the kind people who run a lot get, and she hates it. She loves to run, and hates that it gives her “man calves and thighs”. It makes her hips look a little too big for her liking. She hates her body.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

Guilty: Macaroons. They go against her no-sugar diet, but she loves them too much to say no. Unguilty: acting superior towards everyone.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

She is good at debating and organizing. She likes to plan events and organize everything from the guest list, to the menu, to the decorations. She also likes craft, and planning outfits. She can’t sing. AT all.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

She loves reading, she always has. She likes to read books to learn, not for fictional pleasure. She’s a really, really fast reader. She can finish books in one sitting (which makes me so jealous). She does like poetry, but often the really ambiguous kind from authors not a lot of people are familiar with. Non fiction, 100%.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

She wishes she could relax and dance silly like Kitty, just to make people smile and to feel true freedom. She wishes she could speak more languages (even though she can speak 5 and write 3). She wishes she could be normal, and she admires people for their adaptability and empathy.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Oh the romantic in her loves them, but the old fashioned prude in her loves them too. She sends lots of letters, but also uses emails for work a lot. She likes all of them.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Energy drinks? No. Coffee? Yes. Sugary foods? No. She is hyped up on her own sense of crazy so she doesn’t really need any of these.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Heterosexual. 

Things she finds attractive; good wit, chivalry, sense and reason, sensible people, smart people, business savvy people, a good suit, cleanshaven and expensive cologne, wealth and passion.

What she wants in a relationship; romance, support, devotion.

What she needs in a relationship; respect of privacy, trust, honesty.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Her goals lay in the fashion industry, she wants to work in a BIG and well known company, where she can boss people around and choose looks for approaching seasons. She likes to buy for companies, rather than design. She likes being the one who chooses what��s hot and what’s not. 

She would sacrifice her dream of having a family if it meant getting the career of her dreams.

Personal goals include getting married and having children.

Her secret ambition is to finally be okay with who she is as a person, and stop trying to live to her expectation of what everyone else thinks is right and just.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Yes, she’s a Christian. She goes through phases of practicing, she used to a lot more when she was younger, but now she likes to practice quietly and in privacy. She thinks non religious people are missing out.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

Spring, because florals! But also autumn, because autumn colours are so her colours. She likes the filler seasons because she doesn’t like extreme heat or cold. Her perfect weather is no wind, but a slight chill in the air. She doesn’t do well with ice and snow OR heat and sunburn. She complains about the cold the most I think.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

They usually see her as stuck up, bossy, annoying, spoiled, narcassistic, and controlling. And tbh it’s not much different to how she sees herself, becuse she does acknowledge all of those traits in herself. But it kind of makes her sad too, because rather than trying to prove people wrong, she puts up a guard. If that’s what they think? Then good for them, they’re missing out, they’ll never get to see how much love she actually has to give, or how supportive, loyal and caring she can be.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

HA, no way. People hate her on sight generally. Usually she introduces herself with a look of really not wanting to be there. She’s very snobby, so you’ll be able to tell instantly if she likes you or not. Other than that, when she knows it’s in her best interest not to be rude, she’s fake. She’s so shiny plastic fake, that it’s usually easy to see through as well.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Shiny plastic fake, as put just before. She adores formal occasions and events, she loves black tie events, but she loves white tie more. Being invited to prestigious events makes Sally believe she’s worth something, even though she knows that without all the wealth and notoriety, these people are basically nothing. She likes the entrepreneurial air of fancy parties, the networking, the gossip. She likes feeling included in something that really couldn’t care less if she turned up or not. :/

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

Yes, the big, fancy, corperate types. You won’t catch her at a bar, club or house party though to save her life. Not unless Kitty literally bound and dragged her there. She likes to organize any formal event she can, if she can get her name on the commitee list, she will put 110% towards making sure it’s a big success. 

If she’s being dragged to a party, Sally normally sits uncomfortably and turns down every drink/food offered to her. She complains the whole time, looks upset and unsettled, and asks when she can go home all night. Probably leaving of her own accord once Kitty gets too drunk. (with or without her).

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Her day planner, it has her life inside it, and she relies so heavily upon it I’m not sure what she’d do without it. It goes everywhere with her yes, along with her phone because of her calendar. She’s always got something on in the next five minutes, whether it’s actually something important or “bathroom break”. 

She’s very sentimental though. She remembers her first pair of shoes she bought herself, the first Chanel dress her father gave her, the necklace she got for her birthday, the complimentary pack she got from her first fashion show as a somebody, the shrivelled balloon from the first birthday party Kitty ever threw for her, etc. Those things stay with her forever, and she keeps them very dear to her cold, stony heart.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Her day planner. Facial and body clenses. A hair brush/comb. Her phone. A smart pair of flats. Her passport and another form of ID. Hand cream. A travel sized perfume. Hand sanitizer and a packet of sanitizer wipes. An echo bottle of water. A good quality sweater in case she gets cold. Asprin and an epipen. 

[spritepipis]

The Final Problem: Thought Process

Oh no poor bby JIM NNO NOT THE CHILD aw kidlock This Just In: Sherlock is now a horror movie. I always knew mycroft had a gun in that dumb umbrella Conclusion 1: Jesus Christ, Sherlock. Good job Lmao John wow Final revenge on poor Mycroft THE FINGER-IN-THE-AIR-RETRACE-STEPS "WAIT" THING HE DOES "You have to sit in the chair" Why can't Sherlock remember her Mycroft looking after Sherlock (but still in an asshole) JOHN IS FAMILY AHH Era-defining genius? Has Sherlock internalized Euros as a coping mechanism? Cutting herself? What the fuck? Huh. Interesting kid? Weird, but interesting? REDBEARD NO OH BABY SHERL NO did she drown redbeard NOOH GOD SHE DID UM UM THATS BAD SHES ALREADY AGAINST SHERLOCK flame consumes all good god Mycroft looks so sad Euros died? I don't think so Uncle Rudy? Wtf SHERRINFORD YES ohh "I can give you a map reference for hell" Mrs. Hudson? Are you okay? OH NO A DRONE WTF DX WHAT MOTION SENSOR WHAT IS YHIS lmao Mrs. Hudson Pls don't blow yourselves up Oscar Wilde really John Aw they're so nice Everyone is so nice when they're being dreaded NOT THE VIOLIN the circle shot makes me sick stop That radio is making me nervous "Are you walking on my roof?" SHERLOCK THE PIRATE OH MY GOOOOOD See you should have been looking at the man you just handed the chip to whOA MYCROFTS EYE WIGGLE LMAO BAMF Mycroft "Door opening" sounded like moriarty VIOLIN AH HE HAS INTERNALIZED HER oh yikes glass and everything Her hair is pretty SONG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ITS HIM oh wow standoffish much? Oh god she's a robot You are a prisoner of your own meat?? how did she get a strad DONT TAKE THE STRAD WTF callouses and Oh she taught him nvm NO STOP LEAVE HIM ALONE She enslaves people? Oh god she does Wait but that's the director's voice If this is a trap I swear Oh no this song I'm going to cry Also: when performing, many times shaking and vibrato are the same damn thing (speaking from experience) Laughing and screaming oh god oh god redbeard no Don't touch the fucking glass Don't god damn it JOHN IS AN OUTSIDER LOOKING IN PERFECT FOR EVALUATING THE SITUATION WITHOUT EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE TO CLOUD HIS VISION GOD DAMN IT DIRECTOR DUDE I KNEW IT Uh oh She's so clever She's Wait what OH GOD THIS SHOT fave remix of 2017 OH BABYS BACK his poor employees God I missed him "Big g" ??? Sto IM RELATABLE THAT WAY oh god more sex references Criminality is a nice word Oh Five years ago god damn it Did the donkey eat Yeah wow okay Unsupervised is a bad idea She mirrors Mirroring helps people grow close to one another it fosters trust AND THEYVE MERGED LOVE THAT Oh my god no that's terrible Dear? Did Sherlock just call Mycroft dear? He's changing his voice aw such growth Oh for fuck's sake She's evil Oh god one of them has to kill her oh no John Watson is a soldier but god damn it no stop he's smol and soft Oh my god Moriarty He took it he took it this is bad He can't do it I know he can't OH NO NOT EXECUTION STYLE please don't Whoopsie. Guess he's dead now welp. Yeah it had to be one of them you are idiots She's evil of course she had to kill her Jesus Christ this is terrible "she very clever" "I'm beginning to think you're not" Okay that kid is so unaffected she's totally hired to do this "To hell with what happens to us" She's like an evil scientist She changes her voice too to be younger OH IT WAS MORIARTYS VOICE THE WHOLE TIME : THE DOOR, "MIND THE GAP" Aww he knows it's affectin John and he's trying to stop him from being not useful Molly no molly please answer Poor bby she's sick Please don't hurt her she does love you There's no way around this Also thanks Moffatiss for fucking queerbaiting She's trying to believe it's true even though she knows it's not Molly please Oh god poor girl SHES STILL ON THE PHONE OH GOD oh no that's almost worst he basically hurt both of them Don't put this into context I don't want it to be in please It's okay, Sherlock. Soldiers. Stop stop stop don't kill them don't don't Smart or steady Family or friend WHAT MYCROFT IS SUCH A BITCH no this is actually a thing oh god JOHN NO JOHN PLEASE NO EMOTION IS SO HARD DONT MAKE HIM SAD ITS HARD ok well that makes me want to shoot Mycroft Aw small smile from Sherlock Stop it don't kill either of them Sherlock looked so pained Don't you do it don't don't don't don't don't So she still cares she doesn't want them dead Aww his child voice is so kind god he's such a kind man I love him so much Oh no he has to solve more than one case at once He's chained oh no REDBEARD She How did she do this JOHN NO oh hey that's a story I think, the musgrave ritual Was redbeard Was he fake GOD OH NO OH GOD THIS THIS IS VICTOR wait he is a parallel the only person Sherlock cares about first victor now John Water oh god stop YOU NEVER HAD A BEST FRIEND?! THATS NO REASON TO KILL HIS Ohhhh that's clever that's very clever Do you have a shovel If John dies I'm rioting I need your love? Seek my room? God what a lonely child Oh it was a mind game oh no It was a cry for help oh sweet girl I'm so sorry Uh this is sweet but John is still drowning? Aw we get so many hugs I love them HE REMEMBERED GREG Awwwwww finally after all this time he's a good man IT IS WHAT IT IS Benedict's parents are so great Oh stop it mommy holmes I know she's your daughter but chill He's lying He has to be You were always the grown up what does that mean VIOLIN YES ugh tunings a bitch Did Ben learn just for that Awwwwwww headphones on wall skull Just keep playing life goes on Aww they're mimicking she's tEACHING? AND NOW THEYRE PLAYING A DUET what you could bECOME?? DUETS WAIT DUETS ARE FOR COUPLES?? Last refuge oh my god AWW THE SMILEY OMG THE DANCING MAN parentlock oh my god My Baker Street boys: Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson okay kids well that's it and I'm shaking and I'm crying but it was worth it