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Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

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consuming mass amounts of media related to my hyperfixation isnt enough i need to eat it

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I love you, George Takei.

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i love u tzatziki i love u pita i love u olive oil i love u foccacia i love u hummus i love u flat bread

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The courier finally gets his top surgery

A parody of the Garfield breast reduction comic by laurellearts⬇️

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One thing I really enjoy about Fallout New Vegas is that it's really really good at modeling The Long-Suffering Protagonist Who Things Just Keep Happening To. Fallout 4, one or two things happen to you at the start, and they're doozies, but then for the most part you start happening to everybody else. You don't suffer that many ignominies. Fallout New Vegas, you get shot in the head and dumped in a shallow grave. Two different guys stick a bomb collar on you and force you to run errands. You have to dodge howitzer fire like in that one Malcom In The Middle Episode. All your organs get stolen. You think you're gonna get an easy payday killing some feral ghouls at a test site and then boom, you're getting canonized as a saint by a ghoul rocket cult, pouring radioactive coolant out of toy rocket ships into a real rocket ship one at a time. You get tricked into initiating a nuclear strike. Twice. You play a shell-game with human trafficking victims to bluff a guy into thinking he's pulling a tantalus when it's really just beef. You're forced to have conversations with Mormons. You simply get involved in more situation per situation, hands down. Sole survivor's memoir, I mean, whatever, it'll be okay. Courier's memoir? Oh boy

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Cooper and Lemon

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guess what game ive been playing

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