#god my knees buckled immediately GIMME THAT

[d1lf-loverr]

i will never EVER EVERRRRRRER get over this scene hes so gorgeous

[ragingbookdragon]

What If The Love You Deserve Is Love You Never Find?

Jason Todd x Reader

Word Count: 3.6K Warnings: Explicit Language, Slight Angst

Author's Note: I spent like an hour going through my music to find the perfect song lyric for this. Love me people. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

It’d been complete fate that she’d even met him. A chance of looking up when she was fixing a shirt on a display, gaping as he browsed the racks along the wall, very so often picking something up to examine it before folding it and returning it to its original position.

But even from halfway across the store she could tell he was drop-dead gorgeous, and she slapped the back of her hand across her coworker’s chest. “Dibs.” It was all she said before hurrying towards him, grinning when she heard her friend groan something along the lines of, ‘No fair!’

She cleared her throat as she neared him and he glanced over, giving her a smile. “Good morning,” she greeted. “How are you today?”

“I’m good,” he replied. “How are you?”

“Well, every day is a new day.” She grinned when he laughed. “Is there anything I can help you find, or are you just looking around?”

“Oh, I’m just looking around.”

Nodding, she said, “Alright, well since summer break just started our sales are everything along this wall,” she gestured to the side next to her. “It’s buy one get one free, and so is that wall over there.” She pointed to the other side of the room. “Everything in between is buy two get one free.”

“Sounds good.” He murmured.

“And I’m (Y/N). So if you need any help with anything or want an opinion on anything, just come find me!” she smiled at him and wandered off back towards the registers where her coworker was, and was promptly slapped in the side, causing her to gasp slightly.

“What’s his name and how much money does he make?”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh. “I didn’t ask.”

“You didn’t—you didn’t ask? Why not?” she griped. “That guy’s wearing a Rolex! He’s probably loaded.”

“It could also be a knockoff,” she shot back. “Besides, you gotta wait it out.” (Y/N)’s eyes followed him as he looked up and down the wall of shirts and jackets. “If he comes and asks for help, then he’s interested.”

Her coworker rolled her eyes. “You say that about everyone and they’re only always coming to ask for purchase.”

(Y/N) shrugged. “It’s gotta work one day.”

“You’re hopeless.”

“Probably. But at least—”

“Excuse me,” someone interrupted and they both spun around to see him standing there, a smile on his face as he looked at (Y/N).

“Yes?” she chirped, flashing him a pearly white grin.

“I was wondering if you could help me pick out an outfit?” he asked, and she nodded.

“I’d be glad to help,” shooting her friend a wink as she followed him back towards the wall. “So, is there a particular event you’re going to that calls for a new outfit?” she inquired, taking in the sight of him.

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m hanging out with a couple friends later tonight.” He glanced at her. “Wanna show off, you know?”

(Y/N) giggled. “I totally know what you mean.” She crossed her arms. “Alright, well, let’s start with the easiest thing. Favorite colors?”

“Red, white, black, gray, and teal.” He replied.

“Hmm…boots or sneakers?”

“Boots.”

“Jeans or khak—”

“Jeans.” He interrupted with a scandalized expression.

She giggled again. “Just being thorough.” (Y/N) looked him over. He was tall, extremely built and God, his face was beautiful. Strong jaw and cheekbones, tanned skin and dark hair with a small white patch in the front. And his eyes, oh, his eyes were the prettiest teal.

“See something you like?” he flirted with a smirk and she rolled her eyes.

“Oh, don’t be cocky, I was just beginning to enjoy this.” He chuckled and she hummed. “I can see you like wearing jackets in eighty degrees so I’m gonna assume you’re more of a ‘suffer the pain for the aesthetic of the look’ type of man?” he nodded. “Okay, you a hoodie or sweatshirt guy?”

He paused, eyeing the displays and remarked, “I’m more a leather jacket type of man.”

(Y/N) nodded. “I can work with that.” She started up the wall. “Based on your body type I’m going to assume you run between a large and an extra-large.” Pausing, she eyed his hips. “Your pants size is probably a large.” She handed him a pair of dark blue jeans and he looked them over.

“Did you just give me jeans with bedazzled-shit on the back pockets?”

She cracked a grin. “Embrace your inner punk rock star, babe.” Shoving a crimson V-neck in his arms, she followed it with a pair of matte-black military style combat boots. “Black or tan leather?”

“Mmm…I have a tan at home,” he murmured, and she nodded.

“Black it is then,” (Y/N) decided, handing him a black leather jacket that closely resembled a bomber style jacket with a gray hood attached. She spun and stepped up to him. “Do you wear jewelry?”

“Mhm,” he said and turned his head. “Got my ears pierced a while back.”

“Have anything against religious imagery?”

He gasped. “And be blasphemous? I would never!”

She chuckled and wandered around a display, picking up a set of small silver earrings with crosses dangling on them, then she handed him a silver block necklace with the engraving, ‘Stay the course, for horizons are chased, but never caught’, and a silver wallet chain. “Your belt is black but I’ve half a mind to find a silver belt buckle to go with it.”

“But I digress,” she said, waving her hand before coming behind him, gently shoving him to the dressing room. “Off you go!”

He laughed, disappearing into the dressing room and she looked over at her coworker, giving her a mouthed, “Oh. My. God. He’s. Hot.”

“Tell me about it!” her friend mouthed back.

“And he smells like heaven!” (Y/N) returned, smiling when the curtain shifted, and he stepped out. Immediately her jaw dropped, and she breathed, “Holy shit.”

He chuckled, sending shivers down her spine and ran a hand through his hair, an action that made her stomach flip when he looked at her with those gorgeous teal eyes. “I take it I’m looking good, huh?”

All she could do was nod and mumble, “I’ll say.” She walked over and gently drug him to the giant mirror on the wall and turned him round so he could see himself. “You’re gonna knock your friends and half the people in this city dead the second they lay eyes on you.”

He reached up and adjusted the silver necklace before tugging at the jacket. “I like it.”

“I’m glad you do,” (Y/N) said, internally sighing in relief. “You’ve got everything for the deals, so let’s head to the register and make this happen, if you’re ready.”

“After you.” He replied, and she waltzed around, tapping at the register when he held up a hand. “Gimme just a minute.” She nodded, watching as he wandered to the displays and plucked a black backpack off the rack and shoved his old clothes and shoes in it, then he picked up a silver ring and slipped it on his finger. He walked back over. “Had to finish off the look.”

(Y/N) smiled. “Well, you’ve picked up two items, so you’ll have to find one more for the deal.”

He leaned his hip against the counter and shot her a flirty grin. “How ‘bout I buy the backpack and the ring and I get your number for free?” she blinked in shock and he added smoothly, “Never know when I’ll need help with another style.”

Her coworker was nudging her in the ribs but all she could do was try and horribly fail at hiding the grin as she rang up his total and flipped over the receipt, quickly scribbling her number down. She handed it to him, and he took it. “Thank you—”

She tugged a little and murmured, “You are going to let me style you for beach days, right?” her eyes followed down his body. “I’d love to help you pick out a nice pair of swim trunks.”

He smirked. “Well I was hoping to ask about underwear too, but I could probably throw in swim trunks as well.” Pulling the receipt from her fingers, he said, “Name’s Jason, by the way.”

“Well, have a good day, Jason.” She flirted, waving as he walked off.

Her coworker shoved her elbow into her ribs, and she gasped. “Holy fuck, it actually worked, and you just scored a really hot fuck.”

(Y/N) sighed dreamily. “Yes, I did.”

***

One “styling” turned into multiple “stylings” and many, many phone calls which turned into brunch and dinner dates with Jason. Which she strictly went to under the belief of styling said man, because falling in love with him spelled heartbreak and she knew it because there was no way someone like him was interested in her at all.

And yet, no matter how much she tried not too, (Y/N) found herself slipping deeper and deeper for him. It scared her, but she figured the easiest thing to do was to get him out on a date of her own and set the line before it was crossed. Which was how she found herself dressed in a 1950’s style floral dress with matching flats with her hair and makeup done, waiting underneath the cherry blossom tree in the Gotham City park.

She brushed her fingers over the fabric at her knee for what seemed like the millionth time, heart fluttering in her chest as she watched the people walk by. A few people had come up to her, either to compliment her outfit or ask her who the picnic was set up for. Jason had texted that he’d be there soon and (Y/N) hoped it would be right then because if she had to tell another guy to scram, she was going to pick everything up and haul ass.

Shaking her head, she focused on the poetry book in front of her, reading over another prose when she heard, “(Y/N)!” She looked up, seeing Jason hurrying towards her, three books in his arms.

She laughed and stood up, meeting him halfway. “Jay, I said bring one book not three.”

“I couldn’t pick. I love Emily Dickinson just as much as I love Walt Whitman and John Keats.” He retorted, setting the books down on the blanket before taking her hands in his, pushing her out to take in the sight of her. “Wow,” he breathed. “You look beautiful, doll.”

(Y/N) flushed, smiling shyly. “Yeah, well…you said something about the fifties, and I had this in the closet.” She nodded to the blanket. “I hope you’re hungry.”

His stomach rumbled in response and his cheeks tinted pink as he sat down. “You didn’t hear that.”

“Hear what?” she repeated with a grin, opening up the basket. “Okay, so I went a little overboard with the food, but who cares.” He chuckled, watching as she pulled out a couple bowls and a tray, then set out two plates for them and some silverware.

“What’s in these?” he asked, opening the lid to one of the bowls. It looked like some kind of pasta salad.

“That one is a BLT pasta salad and the other is fruit salad.” She started unraveling the foil from the platter. “And these are chicken Caesar pitas.” (Y/N) put one on his plate. “I made four just in case you wanted more to eat.”

Jason’s face lit up at all the food and he met her gaze. “You did all this for me?”

(Y/N) smiled and nodded. “Yeah…I hope it’s not too much though.”

“Not at all.” He looked around. “But I do hope you got something to drink in there.”

She giggled and handed him an insulated, stemless wine cup before pulling out a bottle of rosé. “Of course.”

“Thank you, doll,” he said as she poured them their drinks, then he raised his cup. “To us.”

(Y/N) clinked her cup to his. “To us.”

And that slowly turned into the food being eaten and the wine being drunk which ended up with Jason’s head in her lap as he read them his favorite poems, her fingers gently carding through his silky hair. At one point, he’d rested the book on his chest and simply closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her massaging his scalp. And (Y/N)? She was trying to keep her heard from beating out of her chest.

“Jason?” she murmured softly, and he hummed in return. “Is this real?”

He huffed a laugh and opened his eyes. “Yeah, (Y/N), I think the sky is real.”

She didn’t laugh, merely offering a halfhearted smile towards the open park. “No, Jason, this…us…how you are towards me. The flirting and the touching.” Her eyes were trained on the grass because she could feel his teal gaze boring into her, and if she looked down at him, she knew she’d lose her edge. “I…feel like you care about me…more than a good friend would.”

Swallowing, she assured, “It’s okay if it’s a no…but I wanna know now just to be sure.” (Y/N)’s voice quieted considerably. “It’ll get messy if we don’t figure this out here.” She went silent, refusing to look at Jason as he rose out of her lap and shifted until he was sitting beside her, their thighs brushing against one another.

His hand gently cupped her cheek and he murmured, “Yeah, it’s real. How we feel for each other.”

“Really?” she blinked. “Because you and me? I didn’t wanna assume but I—”

Jason pressed his lips to hers, effectively silencing her and she all but melted into him as she looped her arms around his neck. He smiled against her lips and with his free hand, gently pushed her down onto the blanket, the right side of his body resting on hers as he kissed her.

When they pulled away, he rested his forehead on hers, quipping, “I think you assumed rightly, doll.”

“Jason?” (Y/N) asked.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me again.”

“Yes ma’am.”

***

That single date morphed into something deeper between them, and she could tell Jason was holding back a bit. He was open to love, to having a relationship, but something told (Y/N) that all of the ones he’d ever had either ended in disaster or mutual termination.

That being said, Jason was nothing but a loving boyfriend to her. He was everything that romance books and movies were based on. The guy every girl wanted to be with and (Y/N) had no idea how she got so lucky, but she wasn’t going to question it for fear of waking up from whatever dream this was.

And the first time Jason invited her over to his apartment a few months after they got together, she wasn’t sure who was more nervous about it, but she could tell they were both walking on eggshells around one another, all throughout dinner and when they finally decided to turn in for the night.

She opened the door to the bathroom, letting the steam escape as she stepped out. “Bathroom’s yours.” Jason gave her a quiet ‘thank you’ and moved inside, shutting the door rather quickly.

(Y/N) sighed and sat down on the bed, staring at the door. She couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out why he was uncomfortable with her there. Not wanting to keep the atmosphere going, she rose from the bed and wandered to his closet door, shooting a quick glance towards the bathroom. The shower was still going, and she smirked, opening up the closet.

Jason’s wardrobe was a mixture of T-shirts and leather jackets and suits, and his shoes were either boots or sneakers. All dark, all silk or cotton. She stepped inside the walk-in closet and drew her fingers along the fabric, stopping when she felt a thicker jacket. Bingo. (Y/N) tugged it off the hanger. It was Jason’s red sweatshirt he wore all the time. She practically had to beg him to get out of it when she wanted to put him in something new—he wore it like it was his second skin.

Slipping it on, she slipped back into the bedroom and quietly shut the door just as the shower shut off. Momentarily panicking, she hurried over to the window and leaned against it, staring out at the traffic below. The bathroom door opened and (Y/N)’s heart slammed into her rib-cage when she heard Jason’s breathing stutter when he saw her.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she murmured. “Got a little cold.”

His footsteps padded behind her and his hands rested on her hips. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you that snooping in people’s personal belongings isn’t very nice?”

(Y/N) leaned back against his chest, head propping on his shoulder giving her enough space to see his face. “No, but she did teach me to put my big girl panties on when my boyfriend won’t grow a pair.”

Jason cocked a brow, fingers digging into her hips as he challenged, “Is that so?” he tugged her back, pressing his front into her back. “And what exactly am I not growing a pair about?”

“I dunno,” she shrugged. “But something’s bugging you and it’s really screwing with our mood.”

He held her gaze for a moment, then he sighed and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I…gotta tell you something, doll.”

(Y/N) blinked and spun around in his arms. “Please don’t tell me you cheated on me.”

“What? God no!” he blurted. “No, I didn’t sleep with anyone.”

“Then what’s the problem?” she asked, reaching up to cup his cheeks. “You can tell me anything, Jason. I’m not going to get upset.” They stared one another down and he sighed, pulling away before heading to the bed. “Gonna show me you’re a eunuch or something?”

Jason barked a laugh. “You’re hilarious, doll.” He reached under the bed and pulled out a locked box. Setting it on the bed, he pressed his thumb to the little printer, and she watched as it flashed green and the locks flicked. He opened the case and (Y/N)’s eyes widened when she saw the gear inside, the guns on either side of the box, the suit in the middle, and the red helmet sitting on top of it.

“I wanted to tell you sooner, but I wasn’t sure how.” He whispered. “I guess I was scared what you’d think.” (Y/N) said nothing but she reached for the hood and picked it up, taking a seat on the bed as she flipped it over in her hands, examining it.

“Scared of my opinion…or scared of you?” she hinted, and he looked at her from where he knelt, a mix of emotions crossing his mind.

He shook his head and shrugged. “Both.”

She held the hood and with her free hand, gently caressed the lines of it, explaining, “Four years ago, my life was saved by Red Hood.” Jason’s head shot up and he gaped at her. “I was still in high school, coming home from prom when I got in a car accident with my best friend. We were hit by a drunk driver.”

(Y/N) looked at him. “The other driver was DOI, and my friend was unconscious and bleeding severely…I was awake but had broken my femur and clavicle…I couldn’t move, and I was scared.” Her fingers twitched along the cheek of the hood. “And then this mysterious masked man broke the lock on the door and cut my seat-belt. At first I thought he was going to hurt me because he looked menacing.”

She smiled. “But he grabbed my phone in the floorboard and called nine-one-one and then held my hand until an ambulance showed up.” (Y/N) gazed at him. “He kept saying I was going to be okay and that he wasn’t going to leave until I was in a bus and on my way to the hospital.”

Picking the hood up, she leaned over and put it on his head, watching as it beeped and lit up. “Later I heard on the news that he’d been responsible for the gang war between Black Mask and the drug dealers…but he’d successfully managed to get some of the school areas out of poverty and drug usage. And he’d killed a lot of bad people who didn’t deserve to be around.”

(Y/N) pressed her lips to the forehead of his helmet. “I was never scared of you, Jason. Then or now.” He put his head down and she merely smiled softly when he reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly.

They stayed that way for a while until he shifted and pulled the hood off, setting it back in the box. “Thank you, (Y/N),” he whispered, and she nodded, gently brushing her fingers through his hair.

“Of course.” She tugged at a strand and he looked over at her, seeing her eyes solemn. “Just promise me you’ll be careful from now on, and that you’ll come back in one piece.”

Jason snorted. “Will do, doll.”

“Good,” she nodded, then happened to look back in the box. “So…this might not be the best time but…how do you feel about I don’t know…putting the suit on when we go to bed?”

He huffed a laugh and rose, shoving her back onto the bed. “Well, well, Miss (Y/N), aren’t you a kinky vixen.”

“I can’t help it, Jason. Red Hood’s a pretty sexy guy.” She winked. “Say…wanna play cops and robbers sometime?”

“You’re something else,” he purred, and she wiggled underneath him.

“Don’t I know it, babe.”

[slashscowboyboots]

Happy Taco Truck: Ice Cream Dreamboat (Part 1)

(all photo credit goes to owners)

I know it’s only been months, but it feels like years since I’ve shared a fic!  This is a continuation of @no-stone-no-bone​‘s awesome fic Duff’s Doughnuts (link here).  I agree with Skyler, I’d love to see other writers write about the different food trucks and make this a series.  This was supposed to be a one-shot, but as I am physically incapable of writing short fics, this is a two-parter.  Buckle in!

Tag list: @izzysdenimjacket​ @no-stone-no-bone​ @sexcoffeeandrockandroll​ @awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands​ @smokeandmirrorz​ @sodalitefully​​ @roger-taylors-car​​  @harley-m-rose​ if you’d like to be tagged let me know, we all know how wonderful the tags work though

Warnings: language, sibling promiscuity, lonely cooking, terminal embarrassment, Axl and Tracii are Axl and Tracii

Thunk thunk thunk.

It was another scorcher inside your food truck, the vicious heat wafting off the griddle pummeling your face as you deftly raked your spatula through a pile of crisping beef tips, then piled them into a fluffy shell, handing it off for your sister Skyler to kiss with your award-winning cilantro lime crema and hand out to the customer.

You couldn’t resist moving up to the open side to watch the patron, a long-haired man wearing a nose chain with “Endless Burgers” stitched on his shirt, take a bite of your creation, then bend at the knees from ecstasy and dig a ten dollar bill from his pocket, stuffing it in your tip jar.

It has been gangbusters during the lunch rush in The Circle, the informal name given to the parking lot of ornery hooligans who fed the masses during the day and lingered behind late in the evening for a bit of recreational hell-raising. 

There was a plethora of culinary delights scattered around you, including Duff’s Doughnuts, Tracii and Phil’s Sno-Cones, Stoney & Cready’s Homewrecker Corndogs, and Jon and Richie’s Jersey Essentials (you never really knew what they were selling, apart from Aqua Net and the occasional cheesesteak, but after they began offering rippers-deep fried hot dogs-Skyler made frequent trips over to ask Richie if she could eat his weenie).  And from what you heard, they all knew how to throw down at night.

You never stayed to find out, though.  Your shyness forced you to fire up Helen the Happy Taco truck and drive home, leaving Skyler behind to do God-knows-what to who-knows-what, and you arrived in the mornings to find her either helping Kelly from Nickels’ BBQ feed his pink-painted porcine smoker, both of them covered in hickeys, or nearly trading blows with the loudmouth redhead who ran the ice cream truck.

Today, however, you’d found her with someone new.  When you pulled into the lot, you saw her with her arms wrapped around a guy with long hair wearing a flannel shirt and shorts, gazing raptly into his piercing blue eyes.  “Bye, Ed,” she murmured, pecking a kiss on his mouth.

“Who was that?” you asked, your eyebrows shooting skywards.

“Produce man,” she answered quickly.

“Were you getting us a good deal?’

“You know it.”

You peeled your gloves off and wiped your sweating face with a paper towel, trying to blot off as much grease as possible.  “I’m taking a break.  I need some ice cream.”

“I got you a frozen lemonade on my break.  It’s gonna taste like shit when you drink it with that ice cream.”

“I don’t care.”

“Punch that dick Axl in the face while you’re over there.  He’s on my last fucking nerve.”

You trudged down to “Axl and Izzy’s Frozen Delights,” eager to leave the brutal swelter inside your truck.  Standing in front of their window, you bent backwards and cracked your aching back, then a raspy voice asked, “Can I help you?”

You looked up into the most beautiful doe eyes you’d ever seen, hazel verging on gold in the afternoon sunlight, belonging to a guy with messy brown hair tied back with a bandanna, and suddenly your feet didn’t hurt anymore.  “Hi,” you said faintly.

“Hey,” he replied, smiling at you, and you felt your breath leave you.  “I’m Izzy, who might you be?”

“Y/N.”

“What can I get for you?”

Your brain instantly forgot how to make words.  “Cone,” you muttered.

His smile grew even bigger.  “What do you want in your cone?”

“Ice cream.”

He chuckled softly.  “What kind?”

“I don’t know.”

Those gorgeous eyes were full of merriment, crinkling at the corners.  “You don’t know?”

“No.”  Get ahold of yourself, you’re sounding like a moron.  “Uh, chocolate?”

“Sure.  I mean, as long as you’re sure about that.”  He winked at you, then turned to the freezer case behind him, and you got an exquisite view of his perfect ass, your mouth open and your breath coming in gasps, then he turned around and grinned, catching you mid-gawk, and you immediately wanted the earth to swallow you up.

“Thank you,” you blurted when he handed you your cone, then you turned to leave.  

“Uh, Y/N?”

“Uh huh?”  You couldn’t believe he was going to prolong putting up with your awkward ass.  

“Aren’t you going to pay me?”

“Oh,” you said, humiliation bringing a knot to your throat, and you handed him a crumpled pile of bills and scuttled away before you could cry.

“Sis, you mind if I head out a little early?” you asked.  “I’ve got a headache and I want to go home.”

“Sure.  I think we’re done for today.  You sure you’re okay?”

You hadn’t said a word all afternoon, just cooked and sweated and tried not to think about what a failure you were.  This was why you didn’t stick around at night, even though you longed to, to laugh and have fun with all the crazy characters around you.  Because you’d fuck it up if you did.

Why wasn’t I born normal? you thought bitterly.  Why am I the disaster in the family?

“Yeah,” you said quietly.  “I’m fine.”

That’s why your tacos were so delicious.  Because you were such a loser, you stayed home and perfected them instead of going out and having a life.  With no demands on your personal time, you discovered that lime made your chicken taco sing, while a little tomato sauce was the secret to juicier ground beef.

Your loneliness was the key to Happy Taco’s success.  

And you’d give everything you knew away just to be cool for five minutes.

“OPEN UP!!” a male voice hollered.  Bam!  Bam!  Bam!  “Little pig, little pig, let me in!”

Skyler dropped the hatch.  “Tracii!  Ferfucksakes!  We just got here!”

Tracii grinned under his bandanna.  “I wanna eat your taco.”

“It is an honor and a privilege to serve you a Happy Taco,” she answered, leaning on the counter and linking her fingers.  “However, we haven’t got anything set up and the only kind we can get you is our el pastor.”

“Okay,” he said, “gimme two,” and Skyler nodded to you.

You sliced the meat off the trompo, carefully evening out the sides, all the while reliving the embarrassment of the previous afternoon in your head.  Maybe you could drive Helen down to Baja California and start life anew, under a different name.

“Hey!” Tracii yelped, his eyes on you.  “I know you!  You’re the one Izzy was talking about last night,” and your knife nearly stabbed the metal pole holding up the pork and pineapple mass.

“Yeah,” he smiled lazily, “you are a looker, aren’t you?  How come you don’t party with us?  Izz said you seemed kinda shy.”

With your eyes wide and heart hammering, you handed the tacos to Skyler, whose mouth was hanging open in shock.

Before she could say anything, Tracii handed her his money and sauntered off, orgasmically moaning as he chewed, and Axl stepped up to the window.

“The fuck you want?” Skyler snapped.  “”It’s too early in the day for you to pick a fight, asshole.”

“I’m not here to fight,” he growled, slamming down a wad of dollars.  “This is from Izzy.  For her ice cream,” and he jutted his chin towards you.  “He says you eat for free at our truck.  The bo-both of you,”  he gritted, the agony of that idea etching deeply on his face.

“Thank you,” you smiled in surprise.

His eyes met yours, waving off your delight.  “Yeah, he’ll be down later.”

“Yes, thank you, Axl,” Skyler said.  “May we offer you an el pastor taco?”

“No,” he said, already retreating.  “Pork gives me the shits.”

Izzy did come by later, just in time for your sister to run off on her break.  

“Hi, Izzy,” you said, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“Hey,” he smiled, looking delicious in his sunglasses.  “So what kind of tacos do you have?”

You recited the list.  “El pastor, carnitas, beef tips, seasoned ground beef, chicken, shrimp, and uh, lengua.”

“What’s that?”

“Uh, tongue.”

He pulled a face and stuck out his tongue, and you giggled, your shyness melting away at his goofiness.  “No, no, it’s really good.  Imagine the most tender, flavorful pot roast.  Everyone always orders seconds.”

“I think I’ll pass on the tongue, that one anyways, and have one shrimp and one chicken.  How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.  Uh, you and Axl, you eat for free here too.  Thank you, by the way, that’s very generous.”

He grinned wider, and you noticed he’d hadn’t stopped smiling at you since he showed up.  “Don’t mention it.”

You opened the shrimp and chicken containers, then threw the meat down on the griddle and moved it around, forcing yourself to focus on sauteing and not burning down the fucking truck because Izzy was outside.

He peeked in the window, looking around the interior of the truck.  “So how long have you been cooking?”

“Oh, since I was small.  I was at a stove before I could see over it.  These are all my grandmother's recipes.”  You scooped the fillings into their shells, then grabbed the crema.  

“Hey, I only ordered two,” Izzy protested when you handed him his tacos in a cardboard to-go basket.

“One of the chicken ones is Axl’s.  Consider it a peace offering.”

“Thank you.  Hey, Y/N, I was wondering if-”

“Hey, Y/N, I was wondering if I could get some fucking service around here,” a mullet-sporting, Confederate flag t-shirt wearing asshole growled, and Izzy waved, then walked away.

He returned the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, working his way through your menu and bringing you a different-flavored milkshake each time.  He loved all of the tacos he tried, even daring to sample the beef tongue, then immediately ordered another one.

“Told you,” you grinned.

He always made conversation with you while you cooked, his eyes locked on yours as he ate, but every time he finished, there was always a line to tend to, and Skyler made herself scarce as soon as she spotted him.  You never returned to his truck for ice cream, and spent your downtime cleaning the flattop, lighting out as soon as you turned over the CLOSED sign.

“You know,” your sister said to you as you turned the key in the ignition, “if you stayed, you’d probably hook up with Izzy.”

“No,” you said sadly, “I’m a hot mess.  I’d say something stupid and he’d run away.”

“Can’t talk with his tongue in your mouth,” she teased, “or some other part.”

“SKYLER!” you shrieked as she cackled, then you sighed and leaned your head against the steering wheel.  “I’m not like you.”

“You don’t have to be,” she said, leaning over and stroking your hair.  “Just give him a chance.”

“I can’t stay here and have Helen be a-a sin wagon.”

“It’s not like we have orgies!” Skyler laughed.  “At least your man doesn't.  He plays guitar and Axl sings, when he’s not being a dumbass.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  And then Izzy sings, and Kelly gives me The Look and……”

“Or the produce man shows up.”

“Or Eddie the produce man shows up.”  She gave you a slight smile.  “C’mon, Sis, stay.  He likes you.”

“He doesn’t know me.”

“Then get to know him.  Axl says he’s pining.”

You looked at her in surprise.  “When did you talk to Axl?”

“When he told me that chicken taco you gave him was the best thing he’s ever had.”

You smiled at his praise, drumming your fingertips on the steering wheel.  “Maybe I’ll stay sometime.”

“Pining,” Skyler said, then hopped off the truck.

[madmadmilk]

This might be kinda dumb and it’s ok if you’re not taking requests but if you ever do I’d love for you to consider this. I’m going through a really unexpected break up and honestly I’m having a pretty hard time. I’d love to read a short fic about Tom comforting y/n through a break up. I love your writing by the way. I check up on your blog almost daily. Keep it up 💕

hey! this isn’t dumb, but i’m sorry i took so long to reply. i hope you’re feeling better and seeing bluer & brighter skies. you’ll be okay! 💞 for now, please take time to enjoy the little things,, and this is for u 🌷

anything & everything

pairing: tom holland x reader

you’ve never really broken up with anyone before. no one as serious as this, at least. you always imagined there would be fighting words, kicking and screaming, a shower of rain to hide your tears, and twinkling city lights to wistfully look at in your pain. 

but there were none of those.

instead, the “break up” was crisp and concise and in the bright light of day. you both knew it had to happen. it had been a slow crack that grew bigger and bigger. a fire you both had tried to water and fan, only to burn it all down.

you both had seen it coming.

and that’s not all bad; sometimes life just pulls you apart. you go one way, and they the other. and you don’t always have to hate someone for making that choice, it’s their life after all–– and there’s so much to live, and see, and feel and love

but it still made you hurt.

the silence after the fact is what pained you the most… knowing that you shouldn’t contact them, no matter how much it wanted to. you both had to move on from this point, you had to let go. you could still be friends, but not now. not when it was so fresh.

so in the early morning, only 9 AM, you call someone you know would be up. (or rather, would get up for you)

“of course, of course–– no, don’t explain. i’ll be there, don’t worry. no! no, i’ll come pick you up. i have time–– all day. i’m free, don’t worry. i’ll be right there. gimme a sec––” his voice is groggy with sleep but full of sympathy. a wonder he could conjure up so much emotion within moments of waking up.

most people would be pissed, but tom was not “most people.”

you were always fond of tom, he’s always so friendly and his smile puts you at ease. he’s quick to tease you, but incredibly trustworthy. he’ll stand up for you, but also tell you the brutal truth. he doesn’t cut corners, but he’d speed over to comfort you in your time of need.

tom is just that kind of person.

the kind that shows up after a surprise call at 9 AM to pick you up from your now ex’s place, spare hoodie and water bottle in hand. he comes up to your door, guiding your hollow spirit to his car, helping you into your seat.

it’s at that moment when you realize how weak you felt. your knees buckled and you fell back against the leather, your fingers fumbled with the seatbelt, but he helped you wordlessly. your knuckles turned white as your gripped the strap across your chest.

he doesn’t speak until he’s sped off in a random direction. you couldn’t tell where, because of the tears that blurred your vision.

“what happened?” the words ripped through your strained composure

your mouth opened to speak, desperate to sort your emotions, but only a weird squeaky sob made way. you have to breathe–– probably taking ten minutes just to say anything intelligible–– but he gets it.

“we,,––hhic–– they said,–– t-they–– we broke up––” you shut your eyes as you say it, the finality of hearing yourself say it out loud. 

“it’s over”

“oh, no,” he says quietly. he reaches over to rub your shoulder, sparing you a sorry glance that you don’t see. “i’m so sorry.”

you nod. those were the only words he could give you, there was nothing to be spiteful or angry about. this was what had to run course.

after another ten minutes of sharp hiccups and groaning, you started to let yourself settle. you lean your head back while tom just drives, and watch the bright blue, cloudless sky as your eyes start to swell. your face was warm, and shoulders tense.

“this sucks,” you say out loud, voice cracked.

tom laughs softly, reaching out to touch your shoulder again. it felt nice. he slowed to a stop light, and sat back to look at you fully. there you notice he was wearing some dodgy sweatpants, a dark hoodie with a white shirt pulled down under it. his hair was a tangled mess, eyes ringed with dark circles. but he was still smiling gently, 

“i know.”

it was nice that he didn’t comfort you right away, that he wouldn’t smother you with pretty-nothings. it would be hard to believe at this point. instead he drove far, far away from all things familiar, and let your ramble about things you would probably all take back in a few days time.

he pulls into a parking lot, excusing himself for a second, and then coming back with  your favorite coffee order. he watches you sip it and smile slyly, when you realize he remembered. you thank him.

“don’t worry about it,” he comforts, “your order is easy to remember.”

“how so?”

“it’s the opposite of mine.”

and that makes you laugh, falling into a special sort of ease. you push your sticky hair off your face, taking another sip. tom plays his spotify wrapped playlist, and you tease him about his artist of the decade. he defends himself and lists their bops.  you listen as he fills the silence.

it’s nice.

you don’t exactly want to address the fresh wound, not yet at least. and tom understood that. right now, he was a distraction, and he understood that.

but he’s a good friend, you hope he understands that.

when the conversation falls to a lull, and you’re starting at the shaking, barren trees, tom offers,

“wanna step out? take a walk?”

“sure.”

you both step out of the car, maybe immediately regretting it because of the sharp chill–– but warm drinks in hand, it was enough. you laughed as he pulled his hood up, and protested when he tossed you a spare jacket–– though you put it on.

you walk towards shop buildings that weren’t yet open–– quiet, cold streets. you look down at your feet, and then are pulled

tom hugs your shoulders, pulling you to meet his side. he rubs his hands up and down your arm and shakes back and forth with funny steps. you look at him and he’s smiling goofy and apologetic.

the sight of him feeling sorry for you, makes you feel sorry for yourself and you start to tear up. he gets flustered and you laugh,

“god, tom, don’t make me cry! my tears are going to fucking freeze!”

“sorry, i’m sorry––” he whines, wiping your face roughly as you stop in the middle of the walkway. you duck away from him but he continues to rub your face, 

“–– these are gonna turn into fucking ice cubes––”

“tom!”

“ew, wait!–– don’t wipe your nose on that!”

“then, where the hell else–– you told me to wear this!”

you sniffle, your ribs aching with laughter. he holds your wrists lightly to stop you, but let go quickly. you hold your snotty sweater over your fingers and hold them against your face.

“thanks, tom. for coming out with me.”

he laughs, kicking his feet, “’didn’t really come out. kinda kidnapped you.”

you pull your hands down, crossing your arms and smiling the best you can, “well, thanks for being here with me.”

his head tilts, eyes crinkling genuinely, “don’t mention it.”

your lips press together, attempting to smile wider.

he nods, looking over you. he could see that you were going to be fine, that you were standing strong on your own two feet, your future clear and bright, your spirits ready to be lifted, you heart bruised, but intact–– he could see that it wouldn’t hurt for you to have someone to lean on.

tom approached you slowly, his arms held out. you didn’t move, not because you didn’t want to–– but it felt nice this way. 

he engulfs you in a hug, his arms going over your shoulders, his heads resting against yours, inviting you to lean against him. and you do. you smush your face against his shoulder.

his scent was unfamiliar, but incredibly warm.

he held you tight, rubbing your back and eventually swaying again. it was a way to say, “you can pull away at anytime, but i’m here for you.”

you don’t cry again, and instead hug him back with time. it was just a kind gesture you needed so badly. you didn’t want to feel like a burden, you didn’t want to be pitied, you didn’t want to be alone––

and tom gets that.

but sometimes you just gotta say it outright,

“thank you. you’re a really good friend, tom.” 

he pulls back, both your arms sliding off each other, his hands come to rest by holding your elbows. you lightly lay on his forearms. his smile is crooked, while his eyebrows twitch. he speaks more bluntly than he means,

“i’d do anything for you”

you crack a laugh, rubbing your nose,

“thanks? likewise.”

tom laughs gently alongside you, as you resume your walk. the wind is not quite as cold with tom beside you.

maybe it’s because he blocked it–– or because of the violent flush that ripped across him upon realizing that he confessed his buried feelings for you.

you miss the way he lovingly looks upon you, but that’s okay. he only wants you happy and warm–– no matter the means.

he’d do anything & everything.

💞

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 62

warnings: it’s a little long, but worth it. oh, and nsfw hmh masterlist

As you make your way down to the lake, you don’t see John, but you see Bleu sitting at your favorite spot, and his tail is going a mile a minute when he sees you. The sun is beginning to go down now, which is making the lanterns that are on the ground look beautiful. There’s lanterns and vases, and you smile to yourself when you realize just how much work John put into this.

The knot in your stomach is getting tighter, and you don’t know if it’s nervousness or the food you ate earlier, but you feel like you want to vomit.

“Hi, handsome boy.” you kneel down to pet Bleu and notice he’s wearing a bow tie on his collar. He has a card clipped to it and you laugh, “Oh, you poor thing. Daddy roped you into this, too.”

You open the card and a few pictures of you and John slide out, and you laugh loudly when you see one of you and John making silly faces. There’s a picture of you and John kissing, and the next is a picture of you and John laughing.

“For the final clue, turn around and look behind you.” you read and put your hand over your face as you laugh, “You’re behind me, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” John says and lets out a small laugh, “Turn around, baby.”

You press your hand to your stomach as you stand up, but you keep your back turned to John, “I can’t. I’m nervous.”

“Why?” he says and wraps his arms around you, “I’m right here.”

You lean back in John’s arms and close your eyes, “I have missed you so much.”

“Hi, peach.” he presses a kiss to your temple and turns you around so you’re facing him.

“Hi.” you smile as you cup his face.

John puts up his finger and smiles, “Hold on, let me just look at you for a moment.”

John stares at you, seemingly at a loss for words, and you begin to squirm and blush under his gaze. He opens his mouth several times to say something, but he shakes his head every time. The two of you start to laugh, and John buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“Gimme a kiss.” he whispers and leans down to kiss you, “Whiskey?”

You giggle and shrug, “I’m nervous!”

John nods his head and sighs, “I’m sorry that you’ve felt like I was ignoring you these past few days.”

“It’s okay.” you take a long look at John and feel your knees start to buckle when you notice he’s in his best suit. “Now that I know why…”

John tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and smiles, “You look so beautiful. I like your hair a lot. It’s so bouncy and soft.”

“Thank you. Tess had it pulled back but at the last minute, I took it down. It was making my head hurt.” you laugh and look down at your dress, “I heard you picked out this dress.”

He nods, “I did. Like I’ve said before, I could get used to you in white. I didn’t realize this dress would be so…sexy on you. I mean, I knew it would, but wow. Then again, you can make a garbage bag look sexy.”

You jokingly gag, “Missed your cheesiness today.”

He starts to laugh and leans forward to kiss you again. He cups your face in his hands and peppers your face with kisses, “I missed you so much.”

“I’ve been so lonely these past few days, and I’m so sorry for thinking that you didn’t care. You were just doing all of this. For me.”

“I’m sorry for making you feel lonely.” he says and pulls you into his arms. “That wasn’t my intention at all.”

“Of course not.” you look at John and smile, “I know that.”

You and John stare at each other for a moment and he closes his eyes, then opens them to look at you. He takes a deep breath and reaches out for your hands, “Bear with me, I’m very nervous.”

“Me, too.” you laugh and feel yourself tearing up already. “But you’re going to do great, baby.”

John takes several deep breaths and laughs, “I don’t…even know where to start. I had a speech all written out, and I had read it a dozen times. I knew exactly what I was going to say, but now that you’re standing in front of me, I don’t…I don’t remember any of it.”

“It’s okay.”

John looks up at you, looking you right in the eyes and it gives you butterflies. “When I met you…”

As soon as John starts to talk, you cover your mouth with your hand as you begin to cry. He reaches out to hug you and rubs his hand over your back, trying to comfort you. You pull away from him and laugh, “I’m sorry.”

“Is everything okay?” he asks, leaning down to see your face.

“Yeah,” you nod and sniffle, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think I’d be so nervous for this. I’m so sorry, keep going.”

“Are you sure?”

You look up at John and see all the color has drained from his face, and he looks like he’s going to faint any second. You smile at him and nod as you lean up to kiss him, “Keep going.”

John looks at you closely and starts to laugh, “I’m going to try to do this as fast as I can, okay?”

“No, take your time.” you say, leaning up to kiss John again, “It’s okay, take your time.”

“When I met you, everything made sense.” he says, and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Yes, cheesy. This is all going to be cheesy, but so true.”

John looks down at your hands and he presses a kiss to your knuckles. When he realizes you’re not wearing your ring on your finger, he looks at you and smiles wide. You wiggle your ring finger a little and give John a wink.

“I never thought that this would be possible for me. Not after the life I’ve had. But you’ve made it possible for me again. You’ve made me feel happier than I could ever explain. That night I told you everything at the hotel, I was prepared for you to never talk to me again, for you to completely shut me out of your life, but you did the exact opposite. You told me that you loved me.”

“I do love you.” you nod, and John wipes away a tear on your cheek.

“I explained everything to you, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to hear.” John swallows hard and looks down at your hands, “I told you everything about my life and you did what I was praying you would do: you accepted me. You never even let go of my hand.”

You squeeze John’s hands and chuckle, “Of course not.”

John starts to tear up and you cup his face, leaning your foreheads against one another. “I swear I had a good speech.”

“This is perfect, John.” you say, softly.

John puts his hand on your cheek and rubs his thumb against your bottom lip, “I look at my life now and I see all of these things that you have given me. You’ve given me a family that I never thought I’d have. You’ve given me so much unconditional love.”

You bite your cheek to keep yourself from turning into a blubbering mess, but it’s hard. You want to turn into a puddle of mush on the floor.

“I fought so hard for this life. So fucking hard.” John puts his hand over his mouth and widens his eyes, “Oops, sorry, I didn’t mean to say fuck while I was proposing.”

“It’s okay.” you say as the two of you laugh.

“I wanted nothing more than a peaceful, quiet, simple life.” John’s eyes dart over your face and he smiles, “Then the best thing that could ever happen to me happened: I met you. I met you and you have given me that life, and you’ve also given me a life so full of love. Love that I don’t think I will ever deserve.”

You feel yourself tearing up more, and you want to stop John so you can tell him how wrong he is. He deserves everything he has. Everything and more. But you don’t. You stay silent and let John have this moment.

“You are…more than I could have ever dreamed of.” he says, and you laugh as you shake your head. “You are, baby. You’re the most understanding person I’ve ever met, and I appreciate that more than anything. You’re so kind-hearted, you’re so full of love, and you’re this…ball of joy. You’re always so happy and your laugh is so contagious.”

You look up at John and wipe away a tear on his cheek, “You’re doing great, baby.”

He exhales shakily and smiles, “I want nothing more than for you to always be happy, and I want to be the one who makes you happy. I want to come home and sit on the couch with you while we eat take out from our favorite restaurant and watch some stupid documentary on how to make noodles. I want to go to bed every night with you next to me and wake up to find you still there, and yes, I even want you to steal the blankets from me. I want to make you laugh until you cry, and I want to hear every childhood story you have stored away in your memory. I want to sit on the patio with you, or down here by the lake with Bleu and our…”

“Kids.” you both say in unison, and John smiles wide.

“Yeah,” you tear up again and smile, “Me, too.”

“You are my girl. You’re the thing that keeps me going when I feel like I can’t. You are my best friend, my one.” he says and taps your nose, “I don’t know how I lasted this long without you, and I don’t want to do life without you.”

“Me neither.”

“I promise to always love you, to make sure you never feel like you’re not important to me.” he reaches out and uses his thumb to wipe away a tear on your cheek, “You are everything to me, and I’ll never take you for granted. I promise.”

John is looking at you with all the adoration he has, and his gaze drops from your eyes to lips, then back to your eyes again as he smiles. He looks so damn proud of himself, too.

“God, the way you’re looking at me right now, John.” you laugh, and he immediately leans down to kiss you, pushing his tongue into your mouth as his hands come up to cup your face. He pulls away and leans his forehead against yours as the two of you try to catch your breath.

“Well,” John backs away and laughs, “I can’t wait any longer, I have to do this.”

“Oh, god.” you tilt your head back and laugh to keep yourself from turning into a blubbering mess.

John gets on one knee in front of you, holding your left hand in his and he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a ring box. He lets go to open the box, and he looks up at you with tears in his eyes, “Will you give me the honor and the joy of being your husband?”

“Yes! Yes, Jonathan! Of course!” you nod your head as John slides the ring on your finger. “Oh, my god.”

John immediately gets up, wrapping his arms around you, and he leans down to kiss you as the two of you laugh. He peppers your face with kisses and when you pull away, you see the tears on his cheeks.

“I love you.” you whisper, leaning close to his face, “I love you more than anything.”

John buries his face in the crook of your neck and laughs, “I love you. I can’t believe you said yes.”

“What?” you pull back and laugh at John, “You’re kidding?”

“Well, I was fairly confident that you would say yes, but it still shocked me.”

“Okay, well, I’ll admit, you had me running around all day, and I still was not completely positive that you were proposing.” you laugh, and John shakes his head. “But you’re never getting rid of me now, I hope you know that.”

John wraps arms around your waist and smiles, “Good! That was the point of proposing to you. I’m all yours.”

You and John stand in each other’s arms for what seems like an eternity before he lets go of you. He cups your face in his hands again and his eyes flicker over your face, and you lean up to kiss John again as he hums against your lips. The two of you sway back and forth, and you lean your head against John’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

You gasp quietly and look up at John, “The other day, when we were in the backyard and then we walked down here, you said…”

“That this is exactly where I want to be.” he smiles, nodding his head, “It is.”

“You hinted at it. It was right there in front of me this whole time.” you laugh, tilting your head back, “You’ve hinted at it every day this week and I didn’t even realize.”

John leans down to kiss you, then he leans his forehead against yours, “I told you I would propose soon.”

“Woo!” someone yells across the lake, and you and John look over to see someone in a boat waving at you, “Congratulations!”

“Thank you!” you both say back, and John presses a kiss to your head.

“Kinda forgot it’s not just us out here.” you look at John and smile.

“So, have you looked at your ring yet?” he whispers.

“No, I’m too nervous.” you rub your finger over it and widen your eyes, “It’s huge, I know that.”

John takes your hand, and you swallow hard as he holds it up for you to look at it. He moves to stand behind you and he rubs his thumb over your ring. “Well, look at it, so I know if you like it or not.”

You look down at your hand and laugh, “Holy shit.”

The ring is classy and elegant, and it’s definitely not anything you would have ever been able to afford. There’s a huge diamond in the center and smaller diamonds all around the band, and just by looking at it, you want to faint.

“This costs--”

“Nope.” John shakes his head and laughs, “Don’t even think about it.”

You take the ring off your finger to get a better look at the band, “John, this is beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it.” he says, and you tilt your head back to look at him. “I designed it myself.”

“Really?”

John nods, “Yup. It’s nothing fancy or intricate, but--”

“Fancy? John, I don’t know shit about rings, but I know this ring probably cost you quite a bit of money…” you say, and you watch John as he squints his eyes and shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter, baby.” John smiles, “It could cost 25 thousand dollars and it would have been worth it to me. As long as you like it.”

“I do like it. Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?” he laughs and kisses your nose as he slides the ring back on your finger. “That gave me butterflies again.”

“I’ve never been engaged before. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say or do.” you laugh and look back up at John, “You’re my fiance now.”

“You can stop calling me your boyfriend. I’m sure you’re happy about that.” he laughs, and you pucker your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you so much, you have no idea. I literally have butterflies in my stomach still. This has been an amazing day.”

Bleu whimpers loudly and you both look down at him. You lean down to pet him and John kneels next to you, “I had to include this guy. If it wasn’t for him, I never would have met you.”

“Not true.” you roll your eyes, “You said you would have come to talk to me regardless.”

“Yeah.” John smiles, then helps you stand back up. “Still had to include him though.”

“Where’s my tenth clue, by the way?” you hold the card up and read it, “For the final clue, turn around and look behind you.”

“Oh.” John laughs.

“So where is it?” you laugh and wrap your arms around his waist, “Are you my final clue?”

John’s cheeks turn red and he chuckles, “Well, to be honest, I hadn’t really thought about that. I was -- I am very nervous.”

You pat his cheek and laugh, “What was your final rhyme going to be? I heard you had a hard time with the rhymes.”

He laughs, “Uh, for the final clue…I wanna marry you.”

The two of you start to laugh, and you nod your head, “Yeah, that’s good. No picture though.”

John pulls his phone from out of his breast pocket, and he holds it up. You wrap your arm around John’s waist and place your left hand on his chest so you can see your ring, then he snaps the picture.

“I do have a surprise for you, but you have to close your eyes.”

“Okay…” you say, cocking up an eyebrow.

John stands behind you and covers your eyes, “Okay, so just walk forward.”

“Jonathan, please don’t let me fall. Oh, god, and please don’t say something cheesy about how you won’t let me fall or you’ll catch me.”

“I want to, but I won’t…” he laughs as you walk, “You’re almost there…kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Keep going, baby.” he says, and you hear him let out a small laugh. “Keep going.”

“Are we going back home?”

“Yeah, but you can’t look!” he says, and you stumble a little. “You good?”

“Yeah, you should have warned me when we went from grass to cement though.” you laugh as John wraps one arm around your waist.

“Okay, stop.” he says, and you hear someone very faintly laughing.

Tess? Jimmy?

“I really hate this, Jonathan.” you try to move his hand, but you can’t, “John, move your hand.”

John moves his hands to your waist, and you slowly open your eyes to see your mom standing in front of you with a huge smile on her face.

“Oh, my god.”

“I knew you’d want her here.” he whispers in your ear and pushes you forward a little.

You and your mom wrap your arms around each other, and your mom immediately starts to cry. She cups your face in your hands and kisses your cheek, “Congratulations, baby.”

“Thank you.” you say, trying to catch your breath as the two of you cry. “When did you get here?”

“Just this morning.” she smiles and moves to hug John.

“I asked for her blessing when we went home for Christmas.” he says and sits down on the love seat. “But I just went home a few days ago and asked her again.”

“Wait…” you look over at him and furrow your brow, “You knew even back then that you were going to marry me? Like, seriously marry me.”

“Oh, I knew the moment I met you.” he says, then smiles wide.

Tess and Jimmy come out of the house with noise makers and sparklers, and you notice Tess has changed into a dress and fixed her hair. You hadn’t noticed all the food and drinks on the patio until now, but there’s a few tables full of it.

Tess points at herself and smiles proudly, “I did it all.”

“I helped!” Jimmy says, pouring himself something to drink.

Tess grabs your hand and laughs, “This ring is so gorgeous.”

“Wow…” Jimmy squints his eyes and leans closer to your hand, “A lot smaller than I remember.”

You start to laugh and shove Jimmy’s shoulder, “Ass.”

“Nah, I’m just joking. Congrats, sis.” he says, reaching out to hug you. “John’s a lucky man.”

“The luckiest man. Still don’t know how he landed you.” Tess teases, then starts to slide your ring off your finger and looks at you, “I wanna wear it for a minute.”

You sit in John’s lap and lean down to kiss him, “Thank you for flying my mom out.”

“Of course. I knew you’d want her here.” he says and leans closer to your ear, “She’s staying with Jimmy and Tess tonight though. Figured you’d want our first night as a newly engaged couple to be just us. I want our first night to be just us.”

“Yeah.” you nod, and Tess taps your shoulder to give you your ring back.

She slides it on your finger and laughs, “Wow.”

“I know, I can’t even look at it.” you laugh and shrug, “It’s just…”

“She’s gonna cry.” Tess says and sits down next to Jimmy, reaching for his hand.

“I am! It’s just so much to take in.” you look at John as you move from his lap to sit next to him and he holds your hand. “You did all this for me, and you included everyone. You included Tess, and that makes me really happy. You flew my mom out so she could be here for this. I have been all over the place today, but you could have just given me a plastic ring while we were laying in bed and I would have been happy with that.”

“Uh, he would never.” Tess says and bites into a chocolate covered strawberry.

“So how did he do it? I don’t know all the details. John was in a hurry it seemed.” your mom asks and sits down next to Tess.

“I was!” John laughs as he nudges your shoulder, “She’s smart! She was figuring it all out.”

“Oh, no, not entirely. I asked John this morning if he was cheating on me because he’s been so MIA since he got home from work.”

Tess rolls her eyes, “Only you would think John is cheating on when in reality he’s planning your proposal, and only you would think that John was cheating on you. Unbelievable.”

“Well, he’s been so distant these past few days. I only really saw him in the morning or late at night when I’d roll over and bump into him in bed. I thought he was avoiding me, and I was racking my brain to try and figure out if maybe I had done something to upset him.” you let out a small laugh and look at John, “He’s a hard one to read sometimes, but I know him pretty well by now and I knew he was hiding something from me.”

Your mom frowns, “You poor thing, you must have been so sad.”

“It got about ten times worse when I called Tess and she told me that she was busy for the day with Jimmy.” you laugh as you shake your head, “I ended up getting…so sad and I went upstairs and fell asleep. Woke up and found a card in the kitchen along with flowers. John had set up a whole scavengers hunt for me today.”

Your mom puts her hand over her heart and smiles, “He had mentioned something about that, I told him you would love it.”

John puts his arm around your shoulder and smiles, “Have you told mom about our other great news?”

You scrunch your brows in confusion, “Other news?”

“The shop.”

“Oh! Yeah, that.” you look at your mom and clasp your hands in front of your chest, “The book shop, John and I own it now. My boss retired and wanted to sell it, so John bought it.”

Your mom looks at John as she shakes her head, “You just get better and better every time I see you. You’re making my girl so happy.”

“I know the girls love working there, and I didn’t want them to lose it.” John says, and you look up to see a small tear forming in his eye; a result from your mom’s comment about you being happy.

You nudge John to get his attention, “You are making me happy, by the way.”

“I got a raise!” Tess says, smiling wide, “Well, I mean, I will get a raise once the shop is open again.”

“I’ve never seen your shop.” your mom sits back in her seat and smiles, “Can you take me?”

“It’s a mess right now, but yeah, I think maybe we can go there before you leave in…”

“Two days,” she says and rolls her eyes playfully, “I’ll get out of your hair in two days.”

“No,” you shake your head, “You know we love having you here, and if I had it my way, you’d just move here.”

John nods his head and smiles, “You’re than welcome here anytime, mom.”

__

You and John are at the front door saying goodbye to your mom, and his hand keeps sliding down to your ass. You shift in place and back away from him a little, and he looks down at you in confusion, then he starts to smile when you look up at him.

“I’ll call you in the morning.” you say and lean forward to hug your mom. “Maybe we’ll all go out for brunch.”

“Ooh, I like that idea.” Tess says, and Jimmy slings his arm around her shoulder, then waves at you and John.

“Talk to you two tomorrow.” he says, then looks at John, giving him a wink.

Your mom covers her mouth with her hands and laughs, “I can’t believe you’re getting married. First Tess, and now you. My girls are growing up!”

Tess taps her on the shoulder and nods to their house, “Mom, they just got engaged, they really don’t want you here right now.”

Your mom raises her eyebrows and laughs, “Oh, you’re right! Have fun!”

“Oh, god.” you feel your cheeks burning and you hide your face in John’s chest. “Why is my mom like this?”

John laughs as he shuts the door and he turns around to look at you, “So…”

“No, don’t think I’m not going to mention how you kept grabbing my ass when my mom was right there.” you say as you back away. “You’re getting a little too brave. You wouldn’t even put your hand on my knee when we went home for Christmas, and now here you are, grabbing my ass in front of my mother.”

“I’m so sorry, but this dress, baby…” he reaches out for you and quickly wraps his arms around your waist, “You look amazing.”

“I should let you buy my clothes, you have good taste.” you press your lips to John’s and smile, “I really love this dress, I almost don’t want to take it off.”

“Yeah, well, I want to take it off of you.” John picks you up bridal style and carries you up the stairs, then drops you on the bed next to a large gift bag.

“What’s this?” you ask, pointing at the bag, “Another surprise?”

“Yeah,” he says and sits down next to you, “Tess. Well, I guess it’s from Tess and me.”

You open the bag and look at John, “What?”

“Yeah, Tess told me I needed to get something for…after I proposed. Something for us tonight.” he says and leans over to look in the bag, “So, we went into this lingerie shop.”

You start to laugh and look up at John in disbelief, “You and Tess?”

“Me and Tess.” he nods and laughs, “It was…interesting. I found out a lot of things about Jimmy that I really didn’t need to know. Tess definitely stuffed some things for herself into our shopping bag, which I didn’t mind, she was a big help these past few weeks.”

“So you basically bought Tess, my sister, lingerie?” you say and watch the look of disgust grow on John’s face, and he shakes his head as you laugh.

“When we were in the store, a saleswoman came to help us and when she asked if Tess was my wife, Tess gagged.”

You start to laugh and reach into the bag, “She’s so dramatic.”

“She is.” John brushes your hair out of your face and rubs his thumb against your cheek, “But she loves you very much. You have no idea how much you change the lives of people around you.”

You look up at John, giving him a inquisitive look, “What’s goin’ on now?”

John smiles, “Nothing. You just changed her life so much, and you’ve changed mine as well.”

“You both have changed mine, too.” you hold John’s gaze for a few moments before looking through the bag again.

John reaches into the bag and pulls out a small bottle, “Cherry flavored lube.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope, Tess said her and Jimmy always use it.” he says, then scrunches up his face, “I told her I didn’t need to know about it, but she said I would thank her later for it.”

You laugh as you reach into the bag and pull out three different pieces of lingerie and look up at John. He shrugs and looks at them all.

“Tess and I couldn’t decide on anything. I said you’re my girlfriend, well, my fiancee, I know what you’d like and what you wouldn’t.” he says and holds up a black lace romper that will barely cover any part of your body, “I picked this one out, I thought you’d look really sexy in it.”

“Sexy?” you look over at John as he smiles.

He nods and holds up a matching bra and thong set, “I liked this, too.”

“I do like all of this stuff, I guess you do know me pretty well.” you hold up some shorts and a crop top and look at John, “And this one?”

“Yeah, you can wear that when we’re just hanging around the house.” he takes the top from you and holds it up, “It has a peach on it.”

“When have I ever just worn something like this around the house?” you ask and stand up, holding the shorts up to your body, “These will barely cover my ass, Jonathan.”

“I know, that’s why I picked them.” he smiles and pulls you in to his lap. “I can just picture you wearing them and walking around the house, looking absolutely...”  

You look over your shoulder at John and cock up an eyebrow, “Keep going.”

John slowly pushes the straps of your dress down and kisses over your back, “You’d just look fucking amazing.”

You pick up the black romper and hold it up, “Shall I?”

John nods his head fast and points to the bathroom, “Go change.”

“Okay.” you head for the bathroom and quickly pull on the lingerie, and when you stand up straight to look in the mirror, you laugh loudly, “Oh, my God.”

“What?” John says from the bedroom.

“My boobs look so…good,” you cup your breasts in your hands, then turn around to check yourself out and laugh again, “And my ass. Good job, Mr. Wick.”

“Don’t come out here yet.” John says, and you hear him walking around the bedroom. Soft music starts playing and you watch the lights in the bedroom dim. “Okay...no, wait. Not yet.”

“John, are you putting on sexy underwear for me?” you laugh and turn off the bathroom light.

“No,” he laughs and clears his throat, “Okay, you can come out now.”

The bedroom is dark except for candles that John has set on the dresser and side tables, there’s music quietly playing, and rose petals are scattered all over the bed. John is only in his boxers, and his biceps are looking especially delicious tonight. He’s lounged out on the bed and he smiles when you look at him.

“Wow.” he says, then licks his lips.

“Wow.” you gesture to John and whistle.

John shakes his head and stares at you, “No. I’m literally speechless, baby.”

You pose a little for John, and he laughs when you slide your hands down your chest to your thighs. You lick your lips teasingly and crawl on the bed in front of John, reaching out for him, and you find rose petals stuck to your hand.

“Did you get a deal on rose petals or something?” you ask and kneel on the bed.

“No, I just liked them.” he says and leans over to kiss you, “I got us some chocolate and some champagne.”

“Ooh.” you watch John as he pops the bottle open, and you both laugh when the cork shoots across the room, landing somewhere in the corner. John hands you a glass and you hold it up, “To?”

“To us.” he laughs, then shrugs, “I don’t know, I’m not one for toasts.”

“Me neither.” you take a sip of the champagne and watch John as he decides which chocolate he wants to eat. “Thank you so much for today.”

“Stop thanking me.” he says and grabs your glass, then moves the tray to the floor so he can get closer to you, “I wanted to do this, baby.”

“I know.” you tear up again and cup his face, “I’m just so lucky.”

John lays down on his back and pulls you into his arms, then moves your hair out of your face so he can see you, “I’m lucky. I’m lucky that I get to be yours for the rest of my life.”

“I love how you asked me to marry you, by the way.” you say, and John smiles. “You asked to be mine, and I think that’s just about the cutest thing in the world.”

“You liked that?” he asks, and you nod. “Good, I was so nervous. I wrestled with it over and over. I didn’t know if you would hate it and think it was cheesy, or if you’d like it.”

“I loved it.” you say, leaning up to kiss John, “I would have loved it either way.”

John leans close to your face and smiles, “You being my wife…best thing that will happen to me.”

“Oh, stop.” you laugh and wave John off. His arms are wrapped around you and he squeezes you tight to his chest. “Hey, when I went to the hotel, did you know that they gave me flowers?”

“Winston.” John nods and laughs, “I had told him that you’d be showing up there. He was happy for me.”

“I love that.” you kiss John’s cheek and smile, “He’s a good guy.”

“He really is.” John starts to laugh again and you look up at him, “Were you surprised that I sent you there?”

“To be honest, yes.” you nod and give him a sweet smile, “I hadn’t been there since everything happened, since you told me everything. Oh, and people were like, whispering about me.”

“Yeah,” John sighs, “Don’t worry about it though.”

“They know not to fuck with you?”

John looks down at you, blinking a few times and watching the smile grow on your face. “Yeah, they know not to fuck with me.”

You shake your head and snuggle back into John’s arms, “That is so hot.”

“So do you really like your ring?” he asks, sitting up a little to look at you, “If you don’t, I can get you something different. I should have asked you what you wanted in the first place, but then it wouldn’t have been a surprise. And I was honestly a little shocked that you weren’t circling rings in magazines and dropping more hints of what you like and don’t like.”

“I would never do that, and I think you know me well enough to know what my tastes are. I love this, it’s gorgeous. Definitely my type.” you lay down on your back and hold your hand up so you both can look at it, “It’s fucking beautiful. How long have you had it?”

John grabs your hand and presses a kiss to it, “Few weeks.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t find one that I liked. I had been looking for…months, to be honest.” he laughs and lays on his side to face you, “I kept finding some with just the diamond and not the diamonds on the sides, and I liked the diamonds on the sides. So I decided to just design it, and I asked Jimmy and Tess to come with me to look at it when it was done. They said it was perfect.”

“That’s so cute that you brought them with you.”

John laughs and leans forward to kiss you, “Well, I value their opinion, and Tess knows you so well.”

“You said you weren’t wearing sexy underwear for me, but I see that you are.” you say and look down at John’s boxers as you laugh, “Silk boxers?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Tess picked them out.” he looks down at his boxers and tugs at them, “She said I needed to look good for you, too.”

“You look very good.” you rub your hand over his boxers as he smiles, “Very sexy.”

“Thank you.” John pulls you on top of him as the two of you laugh loudly.

You kneel on the bed and gesture to your body, “What do you think, Mr. Wick? Do I look good?”

John sits up and nods his head, “You look delicious.”

“Ooh, delicious.” you crawl over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, and he flips you over to crawl on top of you.

“You look so fucking good.” John pins your arms above your head and leans down to kiss your chest, “Hey, we got that cherry stuff.”

You laugh and look over at it sitting on the side table, “You really wanna try it, don’t you?”

John nods and leaves wet kisses on your neck, then he runs his hands up your body to the straps of your romper. He slowly pulls them down, revealing your chest and he pulls it off, throwing it to the floor. He smiles as he leans down to kiss your breasts, and he laughs when you shiver.

“Cold?”

“No,” you shake your head and lightly run your fingers up John’s biceps, “It just makes me shiver when you touch me.”

John smiles wide, then he leans down to kiss you, “Well, I like touching you.”

You grab the bottle off the table and look at it, “I’ve never used this before. Have you?”

John is kissing all over your chest, stomach, and thighs as you look down at him and he shakes his head, “No.”

“Well, here ya go.” you say and hand it to John.

John opens the bottle and looks up at you, “So, do I just…?”

“You’ve seriously never used this stuff before?”

“No, never needed to.” he laughs and pours a tiny amount onto you. He leans closer to your face, and he rubs his fingers against your clit as you close your eyes, “I get you wet all on my own, don’t I?”

“Oh, my god,” you bite down on your lip and look at John as he lays on his stomach between your legs, “Fuck, yeah, you do.”

“It smells so good, wow.”

John dives between your legs, and you immediately arch your back and moan loudly. You grab a fistful of his hair, pushing it out of his face to watch and he reaches up to caress your breast.

“Tastes good, too.” he says and laughs.

“Fuck,” you moan loudly as John spreads your legs further, “Right there.”

“Mmm,” John moans and leans up to look at you, “I want you to watch me.”

You sit up a little to watch and John smiles as he rubs his beard against your thigh, and you both start to laugh when you squirm away from him. He pulls back to him, spreading your legs open again and flattening his tongue, slowly dragging it across your pussy. He flicks his tongue over your clit as you let out a breathy moan, desperately grabbing onto the sheets.

“God, you’re such a show off.” you say breathlessly, and John beams with pride. You arch your back again and laugh, “Fuck, that feels so fucking amazing. Why are you so good at this?”

“Lots of practice.” he says and licks his lips, and you furrow your brow when you look at him.

“John, what the hell?”

“No, I mean a lot of practice with you. I know just what you like, don’t I?” he says, then he buries his face between your legs again.

“Fuck,” you tilt your head back as you moan, “Yeah.”

John sits up a little and watches you as he slowly slides two fingers in, curling them up to hit your hidden spot. You take a deep breath and sit up to pull John up to you, smiling when you’re face to face again.

You reach out to grab at his ass and feel the silk under your fingers, “I can’t believe you still have these boxers on.”

John laughs as he lays down on the bed, and you sit up to pull his boxers off. You grab the bottle of lube and hold it up as John nods his head. “If you want.”

“Of course.” you say and pour a tiny bit onto John’s cock. “Does it taste good?”

He nods, “I think so.”

“I’m trusting you on this.” you laugh.

You slowly slide John into your mouth and feel him buck his hips as he sits up to watch. Stroking John in one hand as you suck the tip of his cock, you let out a small moan. John moves your hair out of your face and tilts his head back, gently bobbing you on his cock.

“It does taste good.” you smirk, then you press your lips to John’s thighs and balls.

John tilts his head back and he lets out a big breath, “Yes, baby.”

“You like that, John?”

“Fuck,” he breathes, then moans softly, “Come here.”

You crawl on top of John and he reaches down between the two of you, smiling when you sink down on him. Your eyes roll shut and you open your mouth to moan, but nothing comes out.

“Feels so…”

It’s all you can manage to choke out, and John smiles wide.

“Feels good?”

“Mhm,” you nod, breathing heavily, “So good.”

John kisses you hard on the lips as he jerks his hips and you lean your head against his chest, moaning loudly. You’re thankful that your mom is across the street, because there is no way you would be able to keep quiet tonight. He slows down and holds tight to you as he lays you back on the bed.

Moaning in the crook of John’s neck, you squeeze your eyes shut and wince as he pushes himself in further, stretching you around his cock. John’s hands are gentle as he caresses your body, and he takes a long look at you under him. You rest your hands on John’s chest, and you both look down at your ring and smile.

“You’re so beautiful.” he says as he leans down to kiss you, “All mine.”

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that corny to say?” you ask, and John shakes his head.

You run your fingers through John’s hair and push your chest against his as he thrusts harder. You’re trying your best to hold in a loud moan, and you can feel your face turning red as a result.

John’s hand trails up your chest to your neck, and he brushes his thumb against your bottom lip, “Let it out, baby.”

You tilt your head back on the pillow and squeeze your eyes shut as you moan, “You’re fucking me so good tonight, Jonathan.”

“You’re taking me really well.” he says and cups your face so you look at him, “Such a good girl.”

“Oh, god.” you let out another earsplitting moan as your eyes roll shut and a wide smile spreads across your face. You grab John’s left hand and press kisses to each fingertip, and his eyes close when you slowly slide his middle and ring finger into your mouth.

“Fuck,” he hangs his head and smiles, “That…”

“Drives you crazy.” you press a kiss to his palm and wrap your arms around his neck again, “I know.”

John laughs as he leans down to suck on your nipple, then he kisses over the rest of your chest and your face. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the room, and the bed starts to creak loudly along with the headboard banging against the wall. John grunts as his thrusts get deeper and more frantic, and you open your eyes to look at him. You lightly trail your fingers up and down his sides and he lays down on top of you, rotating his hips.

You can already feel yourself inching closer and closer to an orgasm, and John knows it by the look on your face. He takes deep, long thrusts and smiles as he lays on his side, facing you and pulling your right leg over his waist to keep the two of you connected.

John cups your face in his hand, moving your hair so he can see you and he smiles, “I love you.”

“I love you.” you whisper, leaning your forehead against John’s, “I love you so much.”

You and John cling to each other as you both begin to tremble. His arms wrap around you tight, and he slides one hand down to your ass, pushing you down further on him as he jerks his hard as he spills into you. You bury your face in his chest and moan loudly as you crawl back on top of him.

You sit up straight and John holds you by the waist as you tilt your head back, moaning softly. John lets out a small laugh and reaches up to caress your breasts, then moves one hand to your ass and the other to rub circles on your clit as the two of you moan. You look down at John as he focuses hard on you grinding on top of him and he finally meets your gaze.

“You are so beautiful. I know, I know, I already said that, but you are so fucking beautiful.” he says and moves his hands back to your hips.

You rest your hands on either side of John’s head and lean closer to his face, “You looked so handsome today, I almost passed out when I saw you. I can’t believe that I get look at your face every day for the rest of my life.”

John bends his knees as he thrusts hard into you, and you feel your orgasm rising faster and faster. The both of you moan loudly, and you bury your face in the crook of his neck as you come, your body jolting from the aftershocks. You whimper against John loudly as you roll your hips a few more times, and you feel John pressing his warm lips on your skin.

“That’s my girl.” John whispers against your neck, and he smirks when you look at him.

Out of breath and drained, you stay on top of John as the two of you continue to kiss and every so often, he slowly bucks his hips. His hands travel to your ass and he pushes himself deeper into you as he moans, clinging onto you for dear life.

You lay down next to John and look up at him, “I wanted to last longer, but you feel so good.”

John starts to smile as he leans over to kiss you, “It’s okay. We have all night.”

You reach across John, laying over his stomach as you grab the chocolate and champagne from the floor, and you feel him squeezing your ass.

“God, your ass…” he says, spanking you.

“You got a pretty cute butt yourself, Mr. Wick.” you say as you sit up on the bed. You take a chocolate from the box and start to feed John, and when he opens his mouth, you quickly pop it into yours instead.

“Oh, you tease.” John laughs as he sits up and he smiles, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

You study John’s face for a moment and reach out to cup his cheek, “Earlier I wanted to say something when you were proposing. I wanted to stop you so I could say something, but…”

John widens his eyes and puts his hand over your hand on his face, “What do you mean? Do you mean…?”

You laugh as you lean forward to kiss John, “No, I don’t mean what you think I mean. Wait, I’m assuming you think I was going to stop you from proposing to me.”

John takes a deep breath and nods slowly, “Yeah.”

“No, Jonathan, never.” you shake your head and laugh, “You think I’d let you propose to me, tell my family, have sex with you and then I’d just tell you that I don’t actually want to marry you? I would never do that. I love you and I want to be with you. You know that, you big dork.”

John puts his hand over his heart and sighs in relief as he closes his eyes, “Oh, thank god.”

“I didn’t want to stop you and say anything because I didn’t want you to think I was turning you down, because again, I would never do that. I just wanted to say that I know that you were proposing and going on about how great I am,” you puff up your chest and smile proudly. “But I also wanted to say how great you are.”

“You don’t have to do that.” John says, waving you off as he lays back down.

“But I do.” you nod and reach for John’s hand, “When I moved here, I had no idea I was going to meet you. I thought there was no way I was going to meet anyone anytime soon. I mean, Tess was dating and she asked me many times to go out with her, but I didn’t want someone who probably wouldn’t remember my name the next day, or they’d say they’d call but never would, or even worse, someone who just wanted to sleep with me.”

John furrows his brow in anger and shakes his head, “I hate the thought of that.”

“I know you do.” you pat his cheek and smile, “But I met you. I met you and you remembered everything about me, you remembered my name, my favorite color, my favorite flower.”

“Your favorite color is blue, and you love sunflowers and blue roses.” he says, smiling proudly.

“You didn’t leave me hanging for days on end. You didn’t leave me wondering if this was going to go anywhere, and god, I so badly wanted this to go somewhere. As soon I met you, I knew I never wanted to be with anyone else, I only wanted you.”

John nods, “Me, too.”

“Earlier when you said you don’t think you’ll ever be deserving of the love you get, of the life you have. Yeah, you know what I’m about to say…” you smile, and John nods his head as his eyes fill with tears. “Jonathan, I promise that you deserve everything that you get. Your life that you have, you fucking deserve it. You said it yourself, you fought like hell for this life.You deserve me, and you deserve the family that we have, the family that we will have.”

John smiles wide and wipes away the tears on his cheek, “Thank you.”

“No, I’m not done.” you laugh, reaching for his hand again, “I will never grow tired of telling you what a good man you are, or how important you are to me.”

You take several breaths and close your eyes when you feel yourself tearing up. John’s hand is warm on your cheek, and he wipes away a tear as he pulls you down to kiss him. You sit back up and smile at each other as John’s eyes glisten from tears.

You take another deep breath and exhale, “You have completely exceeded my expectations for what it means to be in love. The way you treat me is…indescribable. Not a day goes by where I feel unloved, or like you’d wish it was someone else here instead of me. You always have breakfast waiting for me in the morning, and I’ve been here for months, but you still get so excited to see me every morning, and it’s pretty much the cutest thing ever.”

John lets out a small laugh and sniffles, “I’m always worried I’m going to wake up and you’ll have left. Like this is a dream or something.”

“And then you say shit like that.” you laugh and lean down to kiss John again, “You make me feel so loved just by the smallest things that you do. Picking up some flowers for me because you saw them and thought I’d like them, or knowing that I had a shitty day and making my favorite food for dinner. Leaving me little notes around the house to find is one of my favorite things that you do. The other day I found a note in my jacket pocket and couldn’t figure out how the fuck you snuck it there, because I had been wearing it all day and it wasn’t in there when I had put it on.”

“Sneaky.” he says, winking and smiling.

“Even just the simplest of things like a kiss on the cheek, or a glance from across the kitchen. It amazes me that someone can be this in love, and I don’t think anyone has loved someone as much as I love you.”

John shakes his head, then points at himself, “I love you way more than you could ever love me.”

You laugh as you lay down next to John, cuddling into his arms, “Well, we’ll see about that.”

__

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[nightskyhoseok]

Éternel: Wings of Fire [BTS Dragon!AU]

Pairings: BTS x OC Genre: Fantasy, Angst, Drama Warnings: Graphic Violence, Heavy Language, Angst, Smut, lowkey hate it but lowkey proud of it at the same time???

YouTube

CHAPTER TWO: VANISHING GRACE

Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Word Count: 9.7K

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I awoke with a strange warmth encasing me. Curious of the source, I opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the bright morning sun. I peeked over my shoulder, only to see Yoongi sleeping directly behind me, his lips dangerously close to my neck and his hands gently holding my waist, pressing me close to his body. With the immediate flush of heat to my face, I attempted to move and stand up, but I was quickly pulled back down, causing me to scream from the sudden action.

“I was sleeping just fine. Why did you have to move?” Yoongi muttered in his trademark sleepy, grumpy voice, probably pouting as well. I turned my head to look at him and my eyes met with his, although they looked like they were about to close any minute.

“Yoongi, come on, we’ve gotta get up,” I said, trying to stand again when Yoongi unexpectedly moved on top of me, pinning me down to the mattress, but still in a sleeping position. My face was probably hotter than a furnace at this point.

“Mmm, better…” The way he spoke was so seductive I swear I was going to explode right then and there. I eventually was able to wriggle out of his grasp and roll over onto the floor, and as I scrambled to my feet, Yoongi spoke up again, this time sounding more like a whine. “Ahh, you’re no fun, Princess.”

“W-What did you just call me?” I stuttered, my mouth slightly hanging open, but I quickly shook my head and regained my focus. “I’m serious, get your ass up.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Don’t act like a child. It’s an important day today.”

“If it’s so important, then let me sleep in so I have more energy.” Yoongi slowly pulled the covers over his head, only for me to yank them off, revealing his bare, milky chest.

‘When did he take off his shirt?!’ I thought, trying my hardest to look at anything else other than the faint outline of his abs. 

“You’re so annoying. Get up before I bring the boys in here.”

“That the best you got, Princess?”

“Min Yoongi!”

“Yes?” He looked up innocently, flashing a small smirk with a discreet wink. 

“I don’t have time for your shit!” I threw a pillow at him, yet he laid there, unfazed.

“Too bad. That’s what happens when you wake up the devil inside of me.”

“I’ve already tamed that son of a bitch a long time ago. Now get up.”

“I’ll get up if you gimme a kiss.”

“I swear to god, I’m going to kill you.” I sent him a death glare, and he returned an equally scary look, one that almost made my knees buckle beneath me.

“It’s just on the cheek.” He raised an eyebrow at my clearly unimpressed expression. “I guess I’m not getting up then.” He rolled his eyes, turning his back to me, snoring obnoxiously loud just to irritate me. 

“God! Fine, come here.” I sighed in defeat and made my way over to the bed as Yoongi turned over with the smile of a champion. I took a breath and leaned in close to his face, ready to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek when he suddenly grabbed me and flipped me over onto my back and climbed on top of me, pinning me to the bed by my wrists as he carefully straddled my waist. 

“I win,” He smirked, leaning just close enough that I could feel his breath on my lips. 

“Maya! Good morning-“ I heard a voice say as the door to my bedroom swung open, revealing Hoseok who was standing in the doorway, the rest of the boys lurking behind him. As soon as their brains comprehended what was happening, both Namjoon and Seokjin scurried to cover Jungkook’s eyes, while Hoseok screamed and Jimin and Taehyung just giggled at the scene.

“Don’t you know how to knock?!” I yelled, my heart running at a million miles per hour and my face fuming with heat. I quickly pushed Yoongi off of me once his grip loosened from shock and stood up, wanting to bury my face in my hands in embarrassment. While I was busy getting all flustered, Yoongi just shrugged and picked his shirt up from the floor and threw it on.

“Namjoon-ah, I told you it’d be a bad idea to go to her room!” Seokjin argued, punching Namjoon’s chest, causing him to uncover Jungkook’s eyes and chase after Jin, who was now running away like a maniac.

“If anyone ever brings this up again, I’m throwing you out with Balki’s Nightmare,” I muttered, grabbing Yoongi’s hand to yank him out of the room and down the hall, the other boys following until we eventually caught up with Namjoon and Seokjin, the whole group now together.

“Uh, Noona, I wanted to ask earlier, what’s Balki’s Nightmare?” Jungkook asked curiously.

“Oh, well, how do I put this… it’s a dragon with nine heads.”

“Nine?” Jimin gasped, his mouth hanging open in such an adorable way.

“Don’t worry about it, there’s only one and she lives all the way up in the mountains. Anyways, forget that. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us. My servants left clothes in your wardrobes in each of your rooms. Please wear long pants and boots, but still choose something comfortable. We’re going to be traveling quite a bit today.”

With that, the group broke up and each of us headed back to our rooms to pick out our own clothes and change into them. As I changed, I found my pair of sturdy, metallic fans in my closet, and decided to bring them along, placing them in a matching holster. I met back up with the boys in front of my bedroom, as I instructed. I led them to the kitchen, where, surprisingly, breakfast was already awaiting us. A familiar dark-skinned woman with hot pink hair was standing in front of the sink, washing some dishes when I suddenly jumped onto her from behind, laughing from excitement and joy. 

“Oh my god, Maya! You’re back!” She said, immediately recognizing me as she embraced me. 

“It’s so good to see you, Fawn,” I smiled, pulling back to see her equally bright smile.

“Oh, who are these men?” 

“Fawn, meet BTS. Boys, this is Fawn Potter.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Fawn greeted politely, bowing to the boys.

“Likewise,” Namjoon said, returning the gesture. After Hyunae, Samantha, and Minjun came down to join us, we all sat and ate breakfast, first thanking Fawn for going out of her way to cook, of course. We talked and laughed, even Minjun, who was now acting normally and more cheerful than the last time I saw him, and the boys appreciated that. Once we finished eating, Samantha and Minjun offered to clean up so I could get the boys moving, and I thanked them then led the seven outside to the nearby stables.

“Woah,” Jimin gawked in awe at the gigantic barn standing before him. I softly laughed at his reaction and headed to the door, grabbing the chain at the side to pull it down, the door slowly rising up to reveal at more than two dozen stalls lined up, a soft yellow light illuminating the inside of the barn, shining on the animals that were stationed in their stalls.

“Horses?” Taehyung pondered, looking at the animals, their coats shiny and their spirits high.

“We use the horses when we need to lay low. Plus, I don’t want you to get on dragons just yet. Might as well get you used to riding on the ground first.”

“Aw, no fair, hyung has a head start,” Jungkook pouted as he pointed to Taehyung, referencing to the past lessons he took.

“We’ve got the whole day ahead of us, Kook, don’t you worry.”

“Mistress! You’ve returned,” A familiar, fair skinned woman exclaimed as she quickly exited the tack room, jogging over to me to give a polite bow.

“Ah, Zenobia, no need to bow. It’s good to see you. We’re just gonna go for a ride.”

“I am always here for assistance,” Zenobia said as she turned to the boys, bowing deeply once again as she returned to the tack room. Castilla, the other stablehand, peeked out and greeted me and the boys, quickly returning to her task.

“Such strange names…” Seokjin commented, walking up to one of the stalls as he gently ran his fingers over the metallic nameplate screwed onto the stall door.

“Sorry about that,” I said, fumbling with a strand of my hair.

“No, it’s cool. Eros sounds beautiful,” He replied, glancing back at the nameplate to make sure he didn’t completely butcher the name. “A beautiful name for a beautiful horse.” The tall, noir horse peeked his head out and looked towards Seokjin, nudging his head against the boy’s body, practically shoving him, but in a loving way.

“He likes you.” 

Seokjin smiled as he rested his hand on Eros’ muzzle, gently rubbing it while the young stallion perked his ears and flicked his tail in joy. 

“I would say he’s more handsome than me, but I just don’t think that’s possible, don’t you agree?” Jin said cheekily, striking a confident pose, earning groans from the entire group. 

“Oh, you two will definitely get along,” I sighed, face palming myself as I turned to the others to see which horses each of them gravitated to. I walked over to Jimin, who was petting a gray, speckled Arabian horse. “Zeta has a strong spirit. She kind of reminds me of you, Jimin.”

I could see his cheeks flush into a light tint of pink at my words, and couldn’t help but giggle at his flustered reaction. Ruffling his hair, I flashed a small smile and headed off to the others. Jungkook was entranced by the muscular horse in front of him, who was resting at the moment, but still full of grace and beauty. As I spoke to Jungkook about Gene, the horse resting right in front of us, I decided that I might as well just let them choose their own horses. After all, I probably would have chosen the same for them anyways.

I made my way over to Taehyung, his eyes wide but his smile bright as he locked his eyes onto the beautiful Azteca standing in front of him, the horse busy grooming itself to notice the gawking boy. I grinned and placed my hand on Taehyung’s shoulder, keeping my eyes locked on the horse, Juno, as I spoke up.

“He’s the pretty boy of the group. You two even have the same hair,” I commented, Taehyung gasping as he realized that in fact, both he and the gelding shared the same wavy, silver hairstyle. Eventually, Juno raised his head and stepped over to Taehyung, resting his large head on the boy’s shoulder after nuzzling his hair with his muzzle. I left them alone and headed over to Hobi, who was practically throwing heart eyes at the buckskin mare. “Hoseokie, I see you’ve chosen Vente.”

“She’s so beautiful,” Hoseok cooed, scratching behind Vente’s ear, earning a cute nicker from her, who was clearly enjoying the special treatment.

“Maya! Can you come here?” Namjoon shouted, my body traveling towards his voice immediately. “He’s a Thoroughbred, right?”

“Yes, Rani’s a Thoroughbred. He’s strong-willed, like you,” I confirmed as I subconsciously pet Rani’s dark muzzle that was poking out from the stall. “And unfortunately, he spooks easily and is also a bit of a klutz.”

“I guess that’s something we can bond over together, then.” Namjoon flashed a quick smile, turning his attention back to Rani, giving me the chance to wander off to Yoongi, who was standing in front of the Clydesdale’s stall, motionless. 

“What’s wrong, Yoongs?”

“I just wanted a proper introduction with you around. Someone has to make sure this big girl won’t bite my hand off,” He chuckled as I rolled my eyes, but I was still happy he wanted to wait for me. I clicked my tongue, catching the Clydesdale’s attention. She turned towards us and stuck her head out, briefly sniffing me just to focus entirely on Yoongi, nudging him and playing with his pale blue hair.

“Wow, I’ve never seen Rhoda this affectionate.”

“What can I say? I have that effect,” Yoongi smirked, and I couldn’t help but groan at his cocky remark. 

“Aren’t you the charmer? Wait here. Let me get Agro.”

“Agro?” I jogged over to the stall with the nameplate which was engraved with the word Agro in gorgeous cursive letters. Without warning the boys, I opened the stall door and began to walk down to the tack room, the gigantic Gypsy Vanner exiting the stall to follow me. 

“Noona! You left the-“ Jungkook began to warn me, but I interrupted him before he could finish.

“It’s okay, I do this with her all the time,” I explained as I lifted up her tack, quickly walking to her side to raise it onto her back. As I adjusted the girth, Taehyung decided to speak up.

“So, should we get the saddles?” He asked.

“Sure. Just put it on with the pommel facing forwards and pull it up slightly behind their withers.”

“Uhh…” Namjoon droned, obviously very lost at the foreign language I was using. 

“Their shoulders, Joon.”

“Ah, okay.” With that, the boys went to get their saddles and returned to their designated stalls, tacking their horses, with the help of Zenobia and Castilla, and I showed them how to bridle, which they did as well, not afraid to receive assistance from our stable hands. I grabbed Agro’s reins and tugged her outside, the rest of the boys following me. After we all gathered outside, I took Agro’s reins and threw them over her head, positioning my foot in the stirrup, proceeding to mount her perfectly from the ground. I looked up after checking to see if everything was secure, and all I could see were the boys’ shocked faces. 

“You never cease to amaze me,” Yoongi laughed as Zenobia dragged a nearby mounting block to Rhoda, allowing the snowy haired boy to quickly climb on. The rest of the boys followed in his steps, and in a matter of minutes, we were all mounted and ready to go. I went over the basic riding rules, and after they all verified they understood, we set off into the forest, our horses clumping close together so we were traveling as a group.

As we leisurely trailed through the forest, we all messed around and had a few laughs, talking about normal things we’d always talk about - at least until Hoseok practically screamed when a dragon came into sight, his shrill nearly scaring me right off of Agro, even though the dragon was barely bigger than my hand.

“For god's sake, Hobi! My ass is going to go into cardiac arrest one of these days!” I scolded, turning to glare at him.

“I think I might join you,” He whimpered as he pointed forwards, hiding his face in his jacket while I looked in the direction he was pointing to. Only a few yards away from us was another multicolored dragon, resembling a dragonfly, but of course, larger and more ferocious. Tranquil jade eyes sat high within the dragon’s thick, plated skull, which gave the creature a truly frightening appearance. A slim neck ran down from its head and into a wide body, its wings standing high and proud. Its eyes bored into the boys’, but they softened once they came across the sight of me. I nodded towards the dragon, and it skittered off somewhere deeper into the forest, an eerie clicking sound following, becoming more faint as it strayed further away from us. 

“I think I just wet myself,” Taehyung said jokingly, wiping off the sweat from his forehead. He leaned over to Hoseok, who was frozen still, poking him and waving his hand in front of his face, yet no response was elicited. “And Hobi-hyung passed into another life.” We laughed at his comments as we ventured deeper in, Hoseok eventually loosening up, his fear turning to joy every time we passed by a dragon. Our conversations continued as normal, until Jungkook noticed the fans on my hips and changed the topic.

“Noona, what are those?” He asked, pointing to the golden weapons holstered on either side of me with one hand, his other still holding the reins.

“Oh, these are my weapons, Kook,” I explained, causing all of the boys to widen their eyes at my confession.

“What would you need weapons for?” Seokjin asked curiously.

“As you know, every fairytale has a villain. Usually it’s just one person, but sometimes there can be pairs, groups, or even armies. And they will do everything in their power to get what they want.”

“I-I don’t understand. Why are you talking about fairytales?” Taehyung questioned.

“This life of mine is like a fairytale. My villain, Magister Mortalis, is constantly after me, but it’s not one person. It’s a whole team, and they all have one goal: to assassinate me and burn this island to the ground. Because of this, I’ve learned to fight and defend myself, and, more importantly, the island. Almost every dragon has some sort of defense mechanism, and they’re ready to fight at all times. For myself, I’ve only had to use these fans a few times in the past few years, but not for anything too serious.”

“Does that mean you’ve…” 

I pulled back on Agro’s reins, the other horses shortly stopping behind her. My breath hitched and my body shriveled as I realized there was no avoiding the truth anymore. Without looking back at them, I answered coldly.

“Yes. I’ve killed,” I revealed as I lightly kicked Agro’s sides, urging her to walk, the rest of the horses automatically following.

For a moment, we all rode in silence, not daring to look at each other the entire time. I sighed quietly to myself and ran my fingers through my hair, noticing the weight being pressed on my chest. Eventually, as we neared closer to our first destination, I spoke up, my voice surprisingly quiet and reserved.

“Jungkook, can you dismount?”

Hesitantly, the young boy removed his feet from the stirrups and slid off of Gene, slowly walking over to me as I got off Agro. Before us was a small opening, leading into a cave.

As I stepped into the cave, I could feel Jungkook’s presence behind me, and I immediately stopped, turning around to gently push him all the way back to the horses.

“I need you to stay back here,” I ordered, the boy only being able to nod and gulp nervously, unable to produce any words. “Listen. Please, no matter what; don’t speak, don’t move, don’t intervene.”

I gently patted his shoulder, returning to the cave’s opening as I withdrew my fans, hitting them against each other, the sound echoing through the vast walls. Within a matter of seconds, a loud snarl replied to the sudden intrusion, which was my cue to step back into the sunlight, hold my fans in front of my body, and prepare for the creature to approach me.

An albino claw emerged from the darkness, piercing red eyes glowing as the dragon stepped out, its muscular frame and vicious appearance elevating the hair on my skin, and undoubtedly, also the boys’, who were standing by, watching as I came face to face with the ferocious beast. I stepped back as the dragon neared closer, its shoulder movements resembling that of a lion’s, ready to pounce on its unsuspecting prey. 

“Jungkook, meet Quinn,” I said bluntly, causing the youngest to widen his eyes, coming to the realization that this would be his dragon. My words provoked the dragon, a loud roar erupting from its chest as it came closer to me, baring its teeth, still stained with blood from its last meal. Its wings stood proudly, spreading unconsciously as it roared again, with more ferocity than the last. “The Red-Eyed Ravager, one of the best hunting dragons in The Claim you could ever hope to find.”

I stopped in my tracks and dropped my fans, letting them clatter on the ground, prompting a questioning look from Quinn, but nevertheless, he continued to pursue me, with more caution. I dropped to my hands and knees, stretching my left leg back out as I bent my right, planting one hand on the ground, by my waist. With Quinn only a few feet away from me, I closed my eyes and reached out with my free hand, closing the distance between us as I gently placed my palm onto his snout, the steam rising from his nostrils filled with rage, but it quickly transitioned into tranquility. I fluttered my eyes open, and there the beast was, his eyes closed with a certain softness that assured me he was calm.

“Jungkook, it’s okay. You can come now,” I insisted, standing again to face him, a perplexed but intrigued expression on his face. Noticing his hesitation, I patted Quinn as I walked over to Jungkook, the beast following me over to the boy, who was now more stiff than a metal post. 

“He won’t hurt me?” Jungkook questioned suspiciously. 

“Of course not. That whole thing just now was for respect because I woke him up from his sleep.”

“Reminds me of someone else,” Namjoon joked, eyeing Yoongi, who was looking at the dragon with enriched eyes, but only when I shifted my gaze to him I realized he was now staring at me.

“Yoongi-ah, you’re staring.”

“Hyung’s got a crush~” Taehyung teased, earning a smack from Yoongi who then swiftly returned his attention to me.

“You have such a way with the dragons… it’s amazing,” He said, a small smile creeping onto his lips from the impressive show. 

“I grew up with them, Yoongs. It only makes sense,” I smiled, gently rubbing Quinn’s head, earning a low grunt in return.

“Noona, can I?” Jungkook queried, reaching out to the dragon, prompting his question if he could pet him.

“Go ahead, he’s yours.”

Jungkook cautiously placed his hand on Quinn’s snout, a friendly purr returning from the action, causing a wide smile to appear on Jungkook’s golden face. He gently kneeled and continued to shower Quinn with love and adoration, sounds of affection eliciting from the dragon due to his actions.

“Oh, wow,” Jungkook whispered, taking in the sight of the creature before him while I grabbed my fans and secured them into my holsters.

“Quinn might seem scary at first, but once you get to know him, he’s a real sweetheart,” I said as Jungkook stood up, his smile unable to leave his lips, my eyes wandering back to the dragon. “Gyon au.” Quinn happily obeyed and ran back into his cave, disappearing into the darkness as Jungkook and I mounted our horses again, continuing on the path to the next dragon. Not even waiting a second for us to depart from the cave, the boys began to bombard me with questions. I laughed as I tried my best to listen and answer all of them.

“How many dragons are on these islands?” Hoseok asked.

“About 13,000.”

“What other hunting dragons are there?” Namjoon joined.

“Eurasian Rubyhides, Frostbiters, Japanese Vipermuzzles-“

“Don’t these species fight a lot with each other?” Jimin questioned.

“Sometimes, but they know there’ll be consequences if they do.”

Before I knew it, I had answered at least a million questions and we were standing right in front of Taehyung’s dragons’ territory, a large burrowing hole right beneath my feet after I slid off of Agro, calling Taehyung to join me. 

“Jesus, how big is this thing?” Taehyung babbled, intimidated by the size of the gaping tunnel standing at his feet.

“She’s a Titan Wing - still pretty small compared to the others - but I think she’ll be good for you,” I replied, leaning into the tunnel to let out a sharp, short whistle, urging Taehyung to step back immediately after the ground began to shake. From the tunnel erupted a gigantic, white, snake like dragon, covered in frills and spines with blank, hostile red eyes jutting into the boys standing underneath her as she rose into the sky. She opened her mouth, ready to let out a deafening scream, when I suddenly yelled out for her, notifying her of my presence. Her expression softened and she landed beside me, curling her body around my figure to hug me. I laughed and gave her a little pat before turning to Taehyung, who she had now noticed and was creeping towards.

“Uh, Maya, help me out here!” 

“Hold out your hand.”

“Do what?!”

“Just do it Tae!” 

Reluctantly, he tightly shut his eyes and followed my advice, but it turned to his favor as the dragon gently bowed her head, pushing her head so Taehyung’s palm was now resting against her scales. He peeked with one eye, and let out a loud sigh of relief, realizing he was safe.

“I think I wet myself again,” He groaned, earning a chuckle from the rest of us, even the dragon.

“Taehyung, meet Phaedra,” I introduced them to each other. “Phaedra, em ste Taehyung.”

The dragon gently nodded and blew a puff of smoke in Taehyung’s face, chuffing shortly afterwards at his awe stricken face.

“I can’t believe you can actually communicate with dragons,” Taehyung marveled, stepping back to look at me as I tended to Phaedra, brushing dirt and such off of her scales.

“Eventually you’ll have to as well,” I lied, immediately bursting out into laughter at his terrified expression. “I’m kidding, Tae. Unless one of you wants to learn Draconian.” I turned to eye the boys mounted on their horses, all of them jokingly whipping their heads away, whistling innocently and ignoring me. “Alright, alright, I get it. Languages are hard and I’m a buzzkill.” I gently pat Phaedra to let her know she could go. She nodded and slithered back into the tunnel while Taehyung and I mounted our horses, trotting off to the next dragon.

“Am I next?” Jimin asked, raising his hand politely with a small smile.

“Ah, you’re so cute, Jimin. Yes, you’re next. Come on, let’s see how well you guys can ride.” With that, I squeezed my knees together, prompting Agro to start trotting, swiftly transitioning into a canter as the boys yelled and hurried to catch up to me. Exiting the forest, we cantered into the connecting grasslands, nearby dragons whizzing their heads towards us or jumping away to avoid the path of the horses. I stood in my stirrups and grabbed a good portion of Agro’s mane, using my free hand to quickly pull out the slim whistle I had used previously to call Toothless.

As soon as I heard the familiar roar growing closer, I jumped out of my stirrups and stood on Agro’s back, holding the reins as Toothless soared in from the clouds, flying next to me, giving me a clear path to jump off of Agro and onto his back. I quickly positioned my feet and we rose into the clouds, leaving the boys and their horses to continue cantering, with Agro leading the way. As soon as Toothless broke through the clouds, my eyes landed on a Cloudjumper resting atop a cloud, stretching gracefully having just woken up from a morning nap.

“Indra, mafta ai op!” I shouted, catching the dragon’s attention fast enough that she was able to follow right behind Toothless after he looped and dived back down to the ground. I pointed to the boys, and Toothless flew down with Indra following on his tail to stop and land in front of them, of course, giving them enough space and time to react. The Cloudjumper stayed hovering in the air, twisting her head much like an owl when she noticed Jimin’s admirable stare towards her, his eyes not leaving hers even as he dismounted his horse. She softly landed and crawled over to him as he walked over to her, almost as if they were being attracted to each other by some sort of magnetic force. 

“What’s her name?” Jimin beamed, showing his signature eye smile as he studied the dragon’s features.

“Indra.”

“She’s so pretty.”

Indra chirped happily at his words, slowly encasing him with her warm body - in an affectionate way of course. We laughed as she tried to snuggle up against him, but I pulled her back and sent her on her way after letting Jimin pet her for a few more minutes. 

“So, are we going to talk about what you just did?” Namjoon gushed, cupping his own face in his hands, his mouth hanging wide open.

“What, the jump?”

“‘What, the jump…’ aish, this kid is going to kill me,” Seokjin groaned, burrowing his face in his palms as he let out a loud, fake sob. “It was amazing!”

“Really?” 

The boys instantaneously nodded like their lives depended on it, bright smiles appearing on their faces. 

“So modest,” Yoongi laughed, shaking his head.

“Hyuuuung-“ Jungkook tried to tease him, but was abruptly shut up with a pale hand over his mouth.

“Say one more word and I end you.”

“Don’t kill him, Yoongs,” I chuckled as I whispered into Toothless’ ear, sending him off to bring back a dragon. “Hoseokie, you’re up next.”

“Oh my god,” He whimpered, anxiously sliding off of Vente to stagger over to me.

“Hey, don’t worry. I chose the calmest dragon I know.”

“Well, at least we won’t need a medic on standby,” Seokjin snorted, teasing the dancer over his fears. However, I embraced him and wrapped my arms around him tightly, whispering a few words to encourage him.

“Don’t listen to him. You’ll be fine.”

After a few minutes, Toothless returned with Hoseok’s dragon, her vibrant yellow and violet scales standing out from the pale blue sky. The two landed in front of us, waiting for one another to move when I suddenly grabbed Hoseok’s hand, causing him to scream. The dragon flinched and cowered, instantly causing Hoseok to calm down and drop to his knees to comfort her, the reaction tugging at his heartstrings.

“No, no, don’t be scared! Here, look!” Hoseok cheered as he stood up, doing his usual silly dances and routines. The Skyburst, now intrigued, lifted her head and chuffed when she saw his movements in an attempt to cheer her up. She purred and rubbed her head against Hobi’s chest, pushing a smile onto his lips. “Wah~ So cute.”

“Her name is Leia. She’s pretty shy, but I think she’s already warmed up to you,” I said.

“Do all dragons have names?” He instantly face palmed himself at his question and apologized. “Sorry, that was a stupid question.”

“No, it’s not. All dragons have names, but they’re assigned by me when hatched. Maybe you guys could help me name some of the newcomers, hm?”

“I’m naming one Kumamon,” Yoongi cajoled, his lips rising into a sweet gummy smile.

“Oh, for the love of god,” I mumbled as I sent Leia and Toothless off, mounting up with Hoseok and Jimin to continue our travels, this time, heading back to the castle, but on a different route, following the largest river, The Trail Of Tears.

As we passed by the wild dragons, I noticed that the boys were no longer scared, and were now pointing out the dragons they wanted to meet, naming them as we rode past, and even interacting with them on their own. 

“Namjoon, you ready?” I suddenly spoke up, prompting a surprised but soon steady expression on his sun-lit face. An explosion in the distance, but not too far away, indicated that his dragon was nearby. “All-Mother help me,” I whispered to myself as I kicked Agro’s sides, urging her to trot forward to the source of the explosion, the boys leading their horses to trail behind me. 

Through the thick canopy of trees, we turned and came across a young, rocky dragon, ember glowing from its crevices as it continuously fired at the mountain’s feet, little specks of dust and rocks flying everywhere with every blast. I groaned and dropped my head in frustration, hopping off of Agro to lecture the dragon, now caught red handed.

“Phelan, krei? Nodotaim? Yu get klin mou beda.” I scolded, placing my hands on my hips. The dragon whimpered and backed down, bowing deeply to me in an attempt to ask for forgiveness. I sighed, resting my hand on his skin, made entirely out of rock, then called Namjoon over, who gleefully bent down to the dragon.

“Seems like a troublemaker,” Namjoon chuckled, turning his head to me while staying crouched in front of Phelan.

“Oh, definitely, but it can actually be useful sometimes. Just try not to destroy the entire island when you’re together, yeah?” 

Phelan chuffed at my joke, but ultimately knew he had to be responsible or he would have to face the consequences. Namjoon nodded and stood up while I dismissed Phelan, lecturing him one last time to not blast any more mountains.

“Jinnie, you’re the last one!” 

“Is my dragon a boy or a girl?” Seokjin asked as we began to travel along the river, the horses now in a single file formation.

“Kira is a girl, but to be honest, you can’t even tell because she acts completely different than most female Riverside Serpents.”

“Riverside Serpent? Did you come up with all of these names?” Namjoon wondered.

“Oh, no. I only named the species I discovered during my rule.”

“I still can’t believe you’re a queen, Noona,” Jungkook sighed, a shy smile creeping onto his lips.

“It all feels like a dream,” Jimin commented, observing his surroundings as he spoke.

“Ah, there she is,” I said, pointing to a white and green serpentine dragon kneeling by the river, drinking from the fast stream.

“She looks more traditional,” Seokjin observed as he quickly slid off of Eros to stand by me while I caught Kira’s attention, asking her to come closer. Her eyes roamed and scanned each of the boys until they came across Jin’s face, and an immediate purr followed, along with a gentle head butt.

“Wow, she loves you,” I snorted, surprised that she instantly took a liking to him. After a few moments of playing with Kira, Jin replied.

“Who wouldn’t?” 

“Alright, Casanova, let’s get moving.” I sent Kira back to the river as Jin and I mounted up again, riding back to the castle as a group, now in a more scattered formation, with the younger boys lined up behind me, Yoongi and Namjoon on either side of me, and the other two slightly ahead, as they didn’t need me to lead since the castle was already in our sight.

“Yoongi doesn’t get a dragon?” Namjoon suddenly asked, tapping me on the shoulder to get my attention first.

“He already got one yesterday, after you boys went to your rooms,” I explained, Namjoon nodding in acknowledgement. Yoongi began to move further ahead, now out of earshot between me and Namjoon, who decided to take advantage of this opportunity.

“Soo… you and Yoongi-“

“Joon, don’t even start. It’s not like that.”

“I see the way you look at each other. What you two have is special, and I think you’d be good for each other.”

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, pressing my palm on my forehead in an attempt to relieve some of the pain forming in my head as I tried my best to gather my thoughts.

“Even if he did like me, I couldn’t let that get in the way of my duties. If something happened to him…” I began to express my concerns, but Namjoon simply smiled and replied in a gentle voice.

“Baby, I get it, but just think about it, okay? I promise, I’m not lying when I say that you two were made for each other,” He reassured me. Before I knew it, we had already arrived at the gates of the castle. I led the group back to the stables and we all dismounted, putting away our horses after untacking them, with the help of Zenobia and Castilla. 

As we walked up the stairs of the castle, I heard distant footsteps that surely didn’t belong to either me or the boys, so with caution, I gripped onto one of my fans and discreetly unholstered it. Without warning, I turned around to whiz it at the area of the sound, the metal clanging against stone, just mere inches away from Minjun, who was hiding behind a stone pillar to protect himself. I gasped and rushed to pick up my fan, running to check if he was hurt.

“God, you’re fast,” Minjun laughed, looking over his slightly bruised hands.

“Jun, what happened?” I questioned, rubbing my fingers over the bruises.

“Agh, I ran into some assholes from the Northern Markets. They taunted me with shit about Hyunae, I couldn’t stand it.”

“Those motherfu-“

“Woah, love, watch the language,” He chuckled, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Sorry.” I looked down sheepishly, embarrassed of my sudden, minor lash out.

“Oh, and by the way, kids, the Tramplers brought back your stuff from Seoul. They’re on your beds.” Minjun cocked his head towards the boys, a clearly insulted expression falling onto Yoongi’s face.

“What did he just call us?” Yoongi fumed to Namjoon.

“Minjun, can you check on Luthais to see if he needs any more Dreamwillow?” I asked, quickly changing the subject as Minjun nodded and left for Luthais’ hut for his task. “You’re welcome, Yoongi.”

Yoongi simply stood there with his jaw tightened as I walked past him coolly, his body trailing behind mine soon enough once he had snapped out of his shock. It was quite rare for me to perform favors for him, especially for ones he never asked for, but the ones I knew he needed.

“Hey, so, quick question. Are we getting weapons soon?” Seokjin asked suddenly, causing me to trip and fall backwards, conveniently into Yoongi’s arms, that were quick to catch me.

“You okay, sugar?” Yoongi said, concerned as I looked back at him, still in his grasp.

“Yeah, thanks,” I mumbled, clearly embarrassed as I continued walking, more carefully this time. “What the hell makes you think you’re getting weapons?”

“We are, aren’t we? I overheard your servants talking about having to give us weapons soon,” Seokjin explained.

“You are one sneaky little-“

“Don’t curse!”

“Ugh, fine. You caught me. Yes, you’re getting weapons. Armor, as well - but don’t even think for a second that’s going to be within the next 48 hours. You boys have to take flying lessons.”

“Flying lessons? As in flying on dragons, thousands of feet in the air?” Taehyung worried, his voice wavering.

“Tae, I know it seems scary, but I’m confident you boys will get the hang of it.”

“I’ve got a head start, by the way,” Yoongi bragged.

“Really? No fair!” Jungkook whined, throwing his head back in frustration.

“Suck it up, kid,” Yoongi scowled, rolling his eyes.

“Well, you guys can go explore or something, I’m heading to the studio,” I said abruptly, turning on my heels only for the boys to follow after me, all the way to the studio, tired and waiting to be used after months of neglect. 

“Hell yes!” Hoseok preached, dropping to his knees to perform a fake prayer at the sight of the glorious dance studio.

“Noona, you dance?” Jungkook wondered, tilting his head slightly along with his question.

“Of course. Maybe it’s good you didn’t know - now we can have dance battles,” I smirked, winking at Hoseok as I ran over to the stereo to select a song. “What do you think I should do? No Limit by G-Eazy?”

“What about Mic Drop?” Namjoon suggested jokingly.

“Never heard of that,” I teased as I set up the music and jogged back to the middle of the room, taking my jacket off to discard of it, flying to who knows where in the room.

As the song began, I performed my best moves and let the rhythm of the beat move for me. I danced with certainty, speed, and agility. With my movements fluent and confidence sharp, I couldn’t help but smirk at the boys’ sudden shocked expressions, Yoongi’s intense stare making me unconsciously bite my lip in anticipation. They gazed at me, completely captivated by my undoubtedly sensual movements to the music, and even though the song had soon ended, they stayed speechless with their eyes wide open and jaws dropped. 

“That’s it. Let’s do this,” Jimin said quickly, rushing to play Dionysus as the dance line hopped in and began to move with me to the music, all of our bodies perfectly coordinated with one another, the bass of the beats vibrating off of the walls of the studio. Within just a few minutes, the four of us had sweat dripping down our bodies, causing us to shed more layers as we continued to dance.

Once we had unanimously decided to stop for the day, I threw a water bottle to each of them after grabbing them from the conveniently placed mini fridge, sitting under the shelf holding a few white towels.

“Maya, I would have danced with you a long time ago if I knew you were that good,” Hoseok smirked, screwing the cap off of his bottle.

“Well, thanks, Hobi,” I smiled, chugging the half full bottle of water in my grasp. “You okay, Yoongs? You haven’t said anything or moved for a while.”

I glanced over at Yoongi, who was leaning against the wall, holding his jacket nonchalantly in front of his abdomen, looking off somewhere into the distance.

“I think hyung has a-“ Taehyung snickered, but was quickly shut up by Seokjin, who slapped his hand over the younger boy’s mouth.

“Don’t even say it, V,” Seokjin groaned, hiding his face in his other palm in embarrassment. I laughed and took one last sip of my water, tossing the bottle into the trash can, hidden in the far corner of the studio.

“Let’s go,” I said, slinging my jacket back over my shoulder before exiting the room, the others following me. 

“So, where to next, Mistress?” Yoongi suddenly whispered in my ear, rightfully earning a kick in the shins from me.

“Shut up! You don’t speak for an hour and the first thing you say to me is that?” I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks as I scanned his face, full of pride with a cheeky smirk to compliment it. “Wipe that stupid smirk off of your face.”

“Maybe if you give me a kiss-“

“Yoongi!”

The boys laughed as we continued to bicker back and forth, until I realized we reached where I had planned to go next. With Yoongi’s constant teasing, I needed something else to focus on before I went completely insane.

I opened the door and stepped into the room, the long chandeliers hanging from the ceiling immediately blinding me. I adjusted to see the light illuminate the cases of books built inside the walls. The royal blue couches rested on every side of the room, overlooked by the second floor, a gorgeous golden railing standing to protect the above level. Sunlight shone in through the windows, flexing across the linoleum floors, intricate floral designs softly carved into the material.

“Go crazy, Joon,” I whispered to Namjoon, who smiled brightly and stepped in, gravitating towards the bookshelves lined with old but beautiful books.

“What a nerd,” Seokjin muttered, but Namjoon had heard.

“If we’re going to stay here, we should learn about the dragons and history as much as we can,” Namjoon argued.

“He’s got a point, you know,” I agreed, shrugging slightly. “Do you guys want to check out the Book of Dragons? It’s got information on all the species - even though it’s a little outdated.”

“Yes!” The boys instantaneously replied, a small smile creeping onto my lips at their enthusiasm as I quickly stepped over to a special showcase, opening it to remove a large, leather book. I was about to sit down when someone grabbed my waist from behind and pulled me down onto their lap. I gasped and tried to move, but they kept me pinned down.

“Really, Yoongi?” I groaned, glaring back at him.

“I want the best view,” He simply replied, leaning the both of us back as he rested his chin on my shoulder, the rest of the boys gathering around me, standing, sitting beside me, or on the couch armrests. Yoongi snaked his arms around my waist as I opened the book to a random page, landing on the bio of the Night Fury, coincidentally. 

“‘The Night Fury is the fastest, smartest, and rarest of the known species of dragons, commonly described as the ‘Holy offspring of lightning and death itself,’” Jungkook read aloud, his eyebrows cocking up as he read the last part. 

“It says it’s trainable here,” Taehyung said, pointing to the written factors of the species, one of them informing that the Night Fury can, indeed, be trained. “Are there dragons that can’t be trained? Like, ever?”

“Yes, but I’ve found a way to work with them,” I answered.

“Which ones?” Hoseok asked.

“Exterminators, Frostbiters, and Venomtails are good examples. Those are just a few I can think of right now off the top of my head, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I just wanted to know what dragons I should avoid,” He grinned, sticking his tongue out playfully.

“Don’t be worried. The dragons will come around to you, eventually.” 

“What does this mean?” Yoongi questioned, moving his hand to point to the words that printed Strike Class, however, I was rather focusing on how he dragged his fingers back across my thigh, waiting for an answer. “Maya?”

“Hm, what? Oh. Sorry, I got distracted, uhh… that’s the classification. Every species is placed into a class based on their characteristics or abilities.”

“So, what class is Aenaes in?” This time, alongside his question, he tightly squeezed my thigh, traveling closer to where my legs parted. I had to bite my lip to suppress a soft moan from coming out.

“H-He’s in Strike Class, too.”

“And that is…” 

I quickly flipped to the page that had displayed information about the subject.

Strike Class dragons are characterized by their blazing speed, vice-like jaw strength, and extreme intelligence, as well as pin-point accuracy, powerful attacks, explosive firepower and a unique ability to allow them to navigate in their respective environments/atmosphere. The dragons in this class are some of the rarest of all dragons, some are close to extinction. They are also the most difficult to train but the most loyal once they have been trained. They are also generally among the most powerful dragons.

“Mm, cool,” Yoongi mumbled, pulling his arm back to rest around my waist. I let out a quiet sigh of relief and continued to read to the boys, informing them of the behavioral patterns of dragons, their senses, and habitats. After teaching them about a dozen species, I placed the book back and called it a day. Honestly, it was because I couldn’t stand Yoongi’s teasing anymore, so I needed to break away. I muttered a few things as I left them in the small library to escape to my room, one of the few safe havens I had here. 

I groaned and pushed my messy hair back, my fingers running through the strands as I closed my eyes, throwing my head back in frustration. With a defeated sigh, I fell onto my bed and laid there, my arms spread and my knees crossed as my chest rose and fell quickly, bringing me to the realization that I was practically begging to breathe all this time. My chest tightened and my guts churned, both with embarrassment and excitement. 

‘Get it together,’ I thought to myself, lifting my hand to rest my palm on my sweaty forehead. I rose from the mattress and made my way over to the double doors, pushing them open to step out onto the cool marble platform. With a deep breath, I stepped forward until I was close to the edge, and looked down, the distance between me and the ground almost immeasurable. 

I pushed my hand in my pocket, pausing for a moment even though I desperately wanted to call  for Toothless. I honestly didn’t want to bother him, but I did need to escape from the mess my emotions were. Hesitantly, I blew the whistle and Toothless came quickly, hovering by the platform, allowing me to leap onto his back and let him lead me wherever he desired, something I only ever did when I had too much on my mind.

Soon enough, I had come out of my thoughts to realize that Toothless was just landing on the soft sand of Talon’s Shore, a large beach just west of the castle. I smiled as I dismounted Toothless and slid off my shoes before running over to the shoreline, the waves slowly rolling in as the water parted between my toes, completely flooding my feet.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a blue and white speckled dragon emerge from the water, its wings folded neatly and its frills cleanly defining its elongated face. With a tired yawn, it shook off the water like a dog would after a bath, and turned my way, finally noticing me, now sitting in the dry sand. As it came closer, I recognized it was an adolescent female Thunderdrum, probably returning from a weary journey. She waddled over to me with her stubby legs and plopped down beside me, burrowing her way underneath my arm for attention. I laughed and gladly rested my hand on her snout, a happy chitter returning from her throat.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and allowed my other senses to overtake me, the sound of the waves crashing and the feeling of the Thunderdrum’s soft skin calming me down over time. As Toothless curled his body around us, I spoke to him, obviously not expecting an answer, but I did it anyways.

“Bud, I think I’m going insane,” I sighed, leaning back onto the black dragon’s body. He simply snorted in response, resting his head on his arm, his eyes leisurely shutting as he quietly rested. “I think I love him…”

The Thunderdrum chirped at my words, a cute smile accompanying her now perked ears. I huffed and gave her a small pat as I spoke up again.

“So, what do you think I should do, Yvette?” I asked, the young dragon tilting her head at my question in confusion. I giggled and translated for her, and she simply blew a puff of her hot breath in my face, proceeding to stand up and head back into the sea, her warmth leaving my side. With an exhausted sigh, I stood up and woke up Toothless, initiating a walk on the beach with him once he fully awoke. Every couple of minutes, he nudged my hand, checking to see if I was okay. I halted in my path and kneeled, rubbing his chin with affection, a sweet rumble eliciting from his throat. 

After about ten minutes, I decided to head back. Toothless dropped me off on the same marble platform connected to my bedroom before soaring off into the distance, a proud roar following. I fell face first on my bed, closing my eyes as I audibly screamed out my frustration into the mattress. 

There was no denying it - I loved Yoongi - yet I didn’t even know how to go about it. Knowing that he only recently broke up with his near 2-year girlfriend Sunmi just last month, even if it was forced by their companies, I couldn’t just jump on him right away. He was probably heart-broken, and I doubt he had any similar feelings to mine, so there was no point, really. It would have just gone horribly, so why bother?

I rolled over to the other side of the bed and changed out of my clothes, slipping on a mere oversized tunic that met my thighs mid-way and a pair of boy shorts. As I dragged myself to the bathroom, I flipped on the light switch and looked at myself in the mirror, almost gagging at the sight of my revolting appearance.

“God, I look like a fucking mess,” I mumbled to myself, trying to fix up my hair and wipe off the remaining smudged makeup that I had applied from yesterday. When I stepped back into my bedroom, I heard a gentle knock on the door, almost making me trip over my own feet at the sudden intrusion.

“Maya? It’s Namjoon. I wanted to talk to you,” The outside voice said, relieving me of my stress as I opened the door to reveal Namjoon, smiling sweetly to showcase his beloved dimples. 

“What’s up?” I yawned, trying my best to sound more unbothered than I currently was.

“Here, sit down.” Namjoon entered and closed the door, turning the lock prior to grabbing my wrist to lead me to the bed, where he sat me down. He crawled onto the bed and laid down, his back resting comfortably against the headboard, supported by pillows, with his arms crossed in his lap. 

Due to my stillness, he decided to take matters into his own hands and turned me around, pulling me back to sit in between his legs, my back now against his chest and our arms linked. I hummed and gently rested my head on his chest, turning slightly so I was more curled up than lying straight. His arms slowly moved around my waist to support my body as he spoke up.

“Where were you?”

“Down by the beach with Toothless. I needed some time alone,” I answered.

“So, tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Nothing much,” I said, shrugging my shoulders slightly.

“Baby, how many times do I have to remind you what a terrible liar you are? Something’s bothering you.” I clenched my jaw at his words, trying to find the best way out of spilling the truth.

“It’s nothing.”

“Then why did you run out of the library like it was on fire, especially after Yoongi was getting touchy with you?”

“You saw that?!” I whipped my head back with my eyes wide in shock. He simply nodded and pulled me back down in the previous position, raising one hand to play with my hair.

“I told you, he loves you.” 

“Very funny, Joon.”

“Baby, I’m serious.”

“So what, are you going to tell me I can shapeshift into a dragon now?”

”Maya, I’m-“

“No. I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that. He literally broke up with Sunmi last month, his girlfriend of 2 fucking years, and you want me to think he’s now in love with me? You’re crazy,” I snapped, stumbling to my feet as I headed for the door. Namjoon grasped my wrist and pulled me back, ceasing my movements.

“Do you hear yourself right now? Yoongi was miserable with Sunmi. He never loved her,” Namjoon explained, a glint of frustration in his obsidian eyes.

I yanked Namjoon’s hand away, walking out of the room, slamming the door behind me. My feet began to move for me, elevating from a fast walk to practically a sprint down the hall as I heard the door open again, Namjoon calling out to me, footsteps soon following. My glance whipped back at him as he chased after me when, suddenly, I bumped into someone, causing me to stumble backwards, but whoever it was had caught me before I could fall. I shifted my gaze forward, almost screaming when I saw Yoongi standing right in front of me, holding me by my waist in a dip position, protecting me from falling.

“Woah, you alright? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Yoongi said, concerned as he brushed my bangs away from my eyes. I really wanted to swat his hand away and storm off, but I couldn’t even bring myself to move or speak, which ended wonderfully for me as Namjoon finally caught up to me, now hunched over and gasping for air.

“You… you are fast,” He huffed, straightening his body as his eyes wandered to Yoongi, obviously worried. “Hyung, can I talk to you?”

“Uhh, sure,” Yoongi hesitated as Namjoon led him off into another room, of which I eventually recognized as the lounge. I groaned and headed back to my room, locking the door, softly closing it behind me. I tore off my shirt, throwing it into the corner of my room, then fell onto my bed, once again yelling out my frustrations.

‘I really can’t take this anymore,’ I thought, mentally sighing. I rolled over to lie on my back when my thoughts drifted back to what Namjoon had said. I didn’t want to believe it, but maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe Yoongi never liked Sunmi. Maybe he was just pretending. Maybe he was actually in love with me all this time. Maybe.

Before I could even notice my weariness, I closed my eyes with my body still hanging off the edge of the bed and drifted off into a peaceful sleep, my mind finally blank.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Masterlist • YouTube • Instagram • Discord

[thefloorisbalaclava]

Oh wait! I can also see 183 for John... I will leave that up to you. 183 for John or Mccree. I love you!

I went with McCree for this one! Hope you like it!

**********

“Let’s go home, pumpkin. I ain’t gonna be able to keep my hands off you for much longer,” McCree whispers as his hand grazes your bottom. You jump a little then move away.

“Jesse…now? We just got here,” you remind him but he takes your hand and pulls you through the crowd and out the door. “You’re the one that wanted to go out.”

“I know but I didn’t know you were gonna wear that dress and…,” He looks at you and groans as he keeps pulling you along to where he parked his car.

“Why do you always park so far away?” you ask.

“Guess I like to walk. C'mon get in.” He opens the back door of the car and you look at him, confused.

“The backseat?”

“I wanna try somethin’.” You give him a look and he smirks. “Don’t give me that look. You tellin’ me you never wanted to try this?”

“What if someone catches us?” you ask even as you crawl along the backseat and he joins you.

“Then they can take notes.” He kisses you and pulls you onto his lap, hiking your dress up your thighs while trying to unbuckle his belt all at once.

“Slow down, Jesse,” you breathe when he finally lets you get some air.

“It’s s'posed to be a quickie, sugar. How should we do it?” he asks and you shrug. “Here. I got an idea.” You thought it would have worked just fine with you on his lap but you wanted to see where he went with this. As he lifted you off his lap, you hit your head and hissed in pain. “Sorry,” he says and he struggles to get himself on top of you.

“Jesse…”

“Gimme a minute.” He looks down at you all debauched and flustered and hums. “Yeah…I’m gonna make this work.”

In order to help speed things along you decide to sit up a bit and try to get your panties off but in the process, your head hits his and you both cry out in pain. Jesse seems frustrated at first but then you both start laughing until you can’t breathe.

“Car sex looks so much easier in the movies,” he says when he catches his breath again. He sits up, defeated, and you climb onto his lap again.

“Movies make everything seem easier, my love.” You run your fingers through his hair and kiss him. He groans as you move against him. He looks into your eyes and you nod.

“You sure?” he asks as he reaches down to feel you. You were ready for him and he was clearly ready for you. The kiss you give him lets him know that you’re sure.

“You know I’ll try anything with you at least once.”

“I know.” He lifts you up a bit and lines himself up so you can lower yourself onto him. When you do, you both gasp and he tightens his grip on your thighs. You give yourself a little time to adjust then you begin to move. “Good god woman…I ain’t gonna last long…”

“It’s a quickie, remember?” You move faster and he puts his hands behind his head and watches you move on him. “Uh…excuse me?” You grab one of his hands and put it between your legs. “A little help please?”

“I’m sorry. O’ course.” He immediately finds your bundle of nerves and moves his fingers in the way you like. “Oh, someone likes that huh?”

“Mmhmm.”

“If you keep squeezin’ me like that I ain’t gonna…” He stops talking and throws his head back with a look of surprise mixed with pleasure on his face. “Oh shit…c'mon baby.”

“Together,” you say and he nods, rubbing you faster. You lean back a little putting your hands on his knees to keep your balance. You look down to watch him play with you.

“I need you to look at me, darlin’. Please,” McCree begs and you do. “I’m there, baby,” he moans. “I’m there.”

“Me too. Oh god…,” you cry out. As soon as he feels you finishing, he follows, reaching up to pull your head down to his so he can kiss you.

“Fuck…” His hips tremble under you and he eventually stills himself, resting his head on your breasts. “How was that for you?”

“It was…fun. We gotta try it again sometime.”

His head pops up and his eyes are wide. “Really? Again?”

“Why not?”

“God, I love ya woman.” He kisses you then helps you off his lap and pulls you dress back down. He gets your panties and slips them into his back pocket. “I’ll keep these.”

“We’re going to the same place, Jesse,” you tease.

“Let me enjoy this please.” He gives you a stern look and you giggle. “Thank you.”

“Look what we did to the windows.” They were all fogged up and you drew a silly picture.

“Least we didn’t get caught,” he says buckling his belt and opening the door to get out.

“This time,” you say as he walks around to open your door and let you out the backseat. He grabs your ass as he opens the passenger door this time.

“Hope you’re ready for round two when we get home,” he warns, taking your hand and kissing it after he starts the car.

“Always.”

He drives home with one hand while holding your hand with the other, stealing glances at you whenever he can. You love knowing how irresistible you are to him and you hope he knows how irresistible he is to you.

[itscooltobefanficy]

Feeling Alive- Part 12

Summary: Dance school!AU (or the Step Up/Pride and Prejudice mash up nobody asked for). Bucky Barnes is forced to take twelve hours of commercial dance classes to pass the year- and that just happens to be your regular weekly dance class.

Introduction

Part 1 (Slow Hands)

Part 2 (Stay)

Part 3 (There Will Come a Time)

Part 4 (Weapon of Choice)

Part 5 (Came Here For Love)

Part 6 (Where the Sky Hangs)

Part 7 (When Can I See You Again?)

Part 8 (Manhattan)

Part 9 (Skip To The Good Bit)

Part 10 (Poison & Wine)

Part 11 (Clean)

Where To Start

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Chapter 13/17: Where To Start

Word count: 3658

Warnings: swearing (a lot of swearing) and ANGST and terrible karaoke

Omg... I can’t adequately express my gratitude to all the people who reached out to me about the last chapter. The general consensus was SO MUCH FEELS aaaand... This one’s probably not going to be much better. Buckle up kids and take a deep breath! (Also did you notice we now have a concrete number of chapters? That’s right, only four more parts to go!)

Two weeks. Two whole weeks slide by, marked by shifts at the library, rehearsals at Scarlet Studios, excursions with a varying combination of friends- and absolutely no contact from Bucky. Nat texts you a couple of times to give you updates on Steve; you reply politely. On the day of their auditions, you wish her luck. It’s as though the ties that had once bound you so closely to the academy are loosening one by one, until all association will eventually, inevitably sever. So you are mildly surprised when Nat messages you to ask if she can pass on your number to Steve- and, two minutes later, your phone rings.

You’re also surprised by how much courage you have to summon in order to reach out and hit answer.

“Hey?”

“Hey, Y/N!” Steve sounds exactly as he always has, and you feel yourself relaxing. “How are you?”

“Ah, fine? How are you? Are you-”

“Coping?” Steve sounds wry. “Well, I haven’t bludgeoned anyone with my crutches yet, which I think is a positive.”

You snort. It’s strangely easy to fall back into the old rhythm of a friendship that you had once found so comforting. “I’m so proud.”

“Thanks. Anyway, I wanted to invite you to our place on Friday night- we’re having a bit of a party to celebrate the audition results.”

“You know their decision?” Despite yourself, your interest is piqued.

“We- they will by Friday.” You don’t miss Steve’s hasty, pained correction and your stomach squeezes. “Anyway,” He hurries on, “It’s just a good excuse to get drunk and sing really bad karaoke.”

You smile a little at the image, but internally you’re already shaking your head. “Sorry, Steve. I can’t.”

“Look, if this is about Bucky-” An angry shudder ripples through you at hearing his name in somebody else’s mouth, “- then I swear he won’t bother you. I’d just like to catch up, you know? Plus, it would be nice to have someone else there who didn’t audition.”

Damn it, Steve. Any other argument would have fallen on deaf ears, but the idea of Steve sat on the sidelines, watching his friends move on, tugs at your heart.

After a moment of silence, Steve sighs. “Please, Y/N? Just come for half an hour.”

And you know, before you even open your mouth, what your answer will be.

~~

“ID?”

You blink in surprise, but automatically reach for your purse. You can hear music coming from beyond the door- but the way is currently barred by a skinny teenager, watching you implacably as you fumble for your driving license. You eventually brandish it and wait as he checks it over.

“OK, you can go in.”

“Thank you.”

You carefully close your purse, ball up the writhing mass of nerves in your abdomen and push forward, through the door that leads to the Academy common room.

The party is in full swing. Coloured lights are swooping around the walls and flickering over groups of people talking, drinking and dancing. The bass thuds through your chest. You crane your neck, feeling a little like throwing up. What if he’s here- what if he comes over-

“Y/N!”

“She came!”

You’re suddenly engulfed in a hug from what feels like about five different people, but when you’re released it’s just Sam, Nat and Steve stood in front of you, all beaming (although Steve’s smile seems a little strained, and he still wears a brace on his knee).

And, to your own astonishment, every layer of resentment, disappointment and anger falls away from your heart at the sight of them. They’re your friends, and you’ve missed them.

“So?!” You demand, your voice rising in excitement, “Tell me!”

Sam’s face goes very sombre- for about two seconds. Then a grin bursts across his face and he lets out a bark of laughter. “We did it!”

“Oh my God!” You clap a hand to your mouth, then tackle him into a hug. You’re surprised by how emotional you feel; you’ve only known them a few weeks, but pride surges through you at their news. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks,” Sam laughs, “Hasn’t really sunk in yet.”

“Here,” Nat pushes a plastic cup at him, “Alcohol will help.” She looks lighter than you’ve ever seen her, those implacable walls let all the way down. You laugh at her assertion, even as Sam accepts her offering and takes a large swallow.

“Speaking of,” Steve cuts in, “Do you want a drink, Y/N?”

“Yes, please,” You say, immediately, understanding that this is Steve’s chance for an exit- and you don’t miss the grateful look he sends your way.

“Come on, just over here-”

You wave goodbye to Nat and Sam and follow Steve down the room, towards a trestle table stocked well enough to rival any operating bar. You’re served by yet another tiny teenager, before making for the chairs stood against the far wall.

“What’s the deal with the kids helping out?” You ask, taking a sip of your drink. The alcohol stings your throat a little, but it’s a good feeling. Steve smiles.

“Yeah, that’s the kids who get put in detention. They have to do a stint on the voluntary rota.”

“Ah.”

Steve carefully levers himself down into a seat, and you don’t hesitate before joining him. For a moment, you both simply sit, watching the party play out in front of you. You can see Sam dancing with Holly out in the middle of the floor, and Nat appears to have persuaded three strangers into doing shots.  There’s a strange kind of peace to being on the fringes of the action.

“So,” You eventually say, “When is this terrible karaoke I was promised going to materialise?”

Steve snorts, straightening up. “Any minute now, probably. We can’t keep Nat away.”

You have to hide your laugh behind your hand. “Oh my God. I’d never have guessed.”

Some of the tension fades from Steve’s frame as you giggle. You see your chance.

“And how have you been? Really?”

Steve raises an eyebrow, but you don’t back down, and he eventually relents. “I’m doing OK. And that’s the honest truth.”

“Are you talking about it to anyone? Are they offering you enough support?” You feel a little like you’re talking to a student having a breakdown in the library, but you suppose that’s given you good training. Steve just folds his hands together around his drink and sighs pensively.

“Yeah, actually. I mean, everyone’s been great, but Peggy- Miss Carter- she’s been- well. Really understanding.”

“Wait- that Miss Carter?” The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. Steve’s eyes widen, then he claps a hand over his brow.

“Of course you know,” He mutters to himself, “Of course you do.”

“Sorry!” You exclaim, mortified.

Steve makes a strangled noise, before lifting his head once more. “I suppose it doesn’t really matter.”

You wait for an appropriate amount of respectful seconds before giving an encouraging smile. “So… Does that mean it doesn’t matter because things are going well?”

Steve looks over at you, unimpressed. “Remind me why I invited you again?”

“Ah, my charming company?” You’re still joking, but more tentatively, prepared to take it back and apologise should Steve take umbrage- but he rolls his eyes and smiles out of the corner of his mouth.

“Clearly.”

After a moment, you snort and nudge his elbow. “I’m glad something good is coming out of this shit-show.”

Before Steve can reply, the music abruptly stops and there’s a squeal of feedback from the microphone at the far end of the room.

“Alright, you lot, listen up.” You turn in your seat to see Director Fury, drink in one hand and microphone in the other, staring around at the crowd. “This is your night to enjoy, so I’m not going to stick around too long. You’ve earned the right to relax. But-” He glares around at his charges, “- If anybody throws up, they’re going to wish they hadn’t.” That gets a laugh. “Now, I’m going to go stand in a corner and watch you all murder a series of classic pop songs.” He sets the mike back on the stand and beats a dignified retreat.

Before he’s even made it ten steps there’s a flash of red hair and Nat darts up to the ‘stage’ and seizes her moment: Gimme Gimme Gimme starts blasting from the speakers and a loud cheer goes up around the room.

“Shall we go and cheer her on?” You ask, and Steve laughs.

“Yeah, why not.”

The pair of you get up and wander over to the edge of the impromptu dancefloor, where you have a good view of Nat cradling the microphone and belting out her (surprising, in your opinion) choice of ABBA. You find yourself nodding along, and she’s actually not a bad singer, if rather enthusiastic. When she finishes, she gets a big round of applause- but, apparently, she’s not done.

“Excuse me? Excuse me? Is everyone paying attention?” She clears her throat dramatically. “I just want to make an announcement. Despite having just sang the classic-” There are whoops of agreement from her audience, “- Gimme Gimme Gimme, I must point out that the pronouns are wrong, because I-” She gestures expansively to herself, “- Am gay!”

There isn’t even the briefest hesitation. The room erupts into celebration. You stand there, gaping, as two enormous guys who you’ve never even seen before surge forward and pluck her onto their shoulders for an incredibly cramped lap of honour. By your side, Steve is hollering encouragement.

“Is this a regular thing?” You shout, over the din.

“What? Oh, yeah!” Steve’s face is lit up, and his smile is infectious. “There’s usually at least one coming out at the back end of the year.”

You shake your head in amazement, then put your hands together and applaud as Nat goes galloping past. “Your school is so weird!”

“Ah, Fury doesn’t care,” Sam appears from nowhere, slaps you on the back and grins widely. “He turned up to student Pride last year wearing an asexual pride flag and a slogan on his t-shirt that said ‘Cupid’s Aro Can’t Shoot Me’.”

You’re so close to laughing, but then you look across the room- and it feels like all your joy dies on your lips.

Because there, standing out against the crowd, is Bucky.

You freeze solid. Your heart starts writhing in your chest. The sight of him is just as beautiful and infinitely more sickening than you could possibly have prepared yourself for. You wrench your gaze away as though burned- but not before you see his eyes land on you, his expression tightening up and souring in the space of a heartbeat.

“Steve,” You say, staring fixedly at your drink, whilst your voice is suddenly taut with two weeks’ worth of emotion, “I think I’m just going to head out.”

“What? Oh.” Out of the corner of your eye, you see Steve look up across the room. He wastes no time. “OK, hold on-” He takes your drink in his free hand, then hands them both to Sam, “- I’ll walk you down.”

“You don’t have to do that,” You say (because all you want to do is get out, out, out, away from the crushing disappointment and roiling anger that has suddenly leapt into life in your stomach), but Steve shakes his head vigorously.

“Yeah, I do. Come on.” And, to your relief, Steve moves around to shield you from the rest of the room, and together you walk away towards the door.

You don’t let yourself look back.

“I’ll text Sam and Nat, so they can come and say goodbye,” Steve tells you, as you’re slowly making your way down the stairs, the music fading behind you. You nod, vaguely. Everything seems slightly off-kilter, as though the mere sight of Bucky has knocked you reeling. “In fact, let’s go to my room. Wait for them there.”

You shrug, then listlessly follow Steve onto the second floor and wait whilst he unlocks the door.

Their room is much as you remember it- but a sketchbook is open on the desk, and you idly peer down at the pages. Steve’s drawings are crisply done: pencil constructions of carefully placed lines and elegant shading. They are good. Really good.

“Peggy’s been encouraging me to draw more,” Steve says, from over by the door.

“Good!” You reply, a little of your normal animation returning now that the immediate threat has faded, and you smile as Steve looks bashful. “These are literally amazing.”

“Thank you,” He says, then leans back. “I’ll be back in a minute, OK?”

You nod your understanding, then return to perusing his artworks as the door shuts softly behind you. You barely even notice yourself relaxing, you’re so absorbed: you pull out the desk chair and sit down, the better to take in each and every page. When footsteps sound outside and the hinge creaks again, you don’t even look up.

It’s the silence that alerts you first. Not the sort of silence that unfurls, comfortably, logically, like some great banner across the small space; it’s a ringing, hollow silence- the hole left after an explosion, or the static after a lightning strike. You raise your head. The door slams closed, loudly.

Bucky’s standing there, staring at you like you’re an apparition, every line of his body drawn and guarded.

Your heart drops through the floor. You can feel your mouth falling open. Flat, blank shock ricochets through your mind.

He’s so close, your mind whispers, and you can’t tell if it’s agonised or pleading.

Bucky half-turns away, and something wrenches inside you. Something else yells a victory cry. The door rattles, but doesn’t open.

“Steve,” Bucky says in a very low, very dangerous voice. “Open the goddamned door.”

The only answer he gets is silence.

And, for no discernible reason, anger leaps up your throat and sends you to your feet. “What the fuck is going on?”

It’s Bucky’s turn to freeze, outlined by the door frame.

“You can jam the door,” He eventually says. He’s still not looking at you. “From the outside.”

God, you actually are considering punching him. Or, failing that, Steve.

“So, what you’re telling me is that your best friend has locked us into a fucking trope?” Your voice rises, even as you bite off each word with progressing savagery.

Bucky is still for a moment. Then he nods.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” You announce, to nobody in particular.

Bucky snorts, like he can’t help himself. “Join the queue.” The sight of his peculiar half-grin is enough to make you want to scream.

You don’t, though. Instead, you clench your hands into fists and take a deep, frustrated breath. “We could just sit in silence until he lets us out. He’s got to fucking sleep here, after all.”

Bucky uncurls a little. The acidic look on his face fades a fraction. His eyes are chips of ice in the dim light. “Is that what you want?”

Oh, God. The sincerity in his voice nearly undoes you.

But not quite.

“You know what I want?” You ask, your voice cracking like a whip, “What I want is to be at home, in my flat, a million miles away from this mess I’ve been dragged back into. What I want is to not be trapped in a room with you, of all people. What I want is for you to have not-”

You can’t continue. Maybe what you want is to simply go back, go back for two measly weeks in time, back before everything broke apart in your hands.

“I don’t think you get it,” You finally manage. You have to swallow to keep talking. “I can’t. I can’t just- forgive you, or whatever.”

Bucky stares at the floor. Slowly, he moves to Steve’s bed, sitting down like a five tonne weight is pressing upon his shoulders. You watch him, even though you wish you could look at anything else. Fury is shredding at your guts, twisting through your veins, burning behind your eyes.

“I really am sorry,” He says, softly, and something snaps inside you.

“Given that Steve had to fucking lock you in here, forgive me if I don’t take that seriously.” Bucky’s gaze jerks up to you, and you shy away from the touch of his wide, sad eyes. You spin sharply away, to stare at the blank white fabric of the closed blinds.

“I…” Behind you, Bucky trails off into silence. You feel like everything is imploding around you, crumbling into nothing. The final collapse, after your helpful application of dynamite. But Bucky isn’t done.

“Can you explain?”

His question is quiet. Undemanding. A plea, rather than an expectation. That’s the only reason you answer it.

“I-” You sigh, then fumble for the words. “Fine. Just- look, you disappeared. For two fucking weeks.” You can’t keep the bitterness from seeping into your voice. “And in that time I’ve had to try to erase- everything- that came before that. I had to try and take all the fucking significance out of everything that I thought meant something, because I was obviously fucking wrong, wasn’t I?” Tears are clogging up your throat, and you angrily press your hands against your eyes. You take a deep breath, wresting back control. “That’s what your actions told me. That everything we’d had meant nothing to you. That’s… That’s why I can’t forgive you. And I’m sorry if that sounds silly and melodramatic, but that’s how I feel.”

You bite back sobs, and stare at the window, wiping your eyes with the heel of your hand. There’s a long moment of silence.

“Christ,” Bucky murmurs, heavily, “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

A breath that might be half a laugh escapes you. “Yeah. You did.”

“Y/N.” You turn to look at him, sat all scrunched up on Steve’s bed, a frown knitting up that beautiful face. His eyes are very serious. “It did mean something. It did.”

Something seems to crack inside you. Maybe it hurts, maybe it doesn’t. You fling out your hand in a meaningless gesture and laugh that same humourless laugh. “So why did you do it?”

“Because…” Bucky trails off and drops his gaze to the floor. “Look, anything I say will just- it will sound pathetic. But I’m being honest.”

“Fine,” You say. Brittle, one blow away from snapping completely. “Go on.”

There’s a moment of silence. Neither of you move.

“You remember I told you Steve dislocated his knee before?” Bucky says, softly. You do. Of course you do. You jerk your head to confirm it. Bucky takes it as his cue to continue. “And that I- well, it was the excuse that fucked everything up that time. So, when I got a second chance, I swore I wasn’t going to ruin it.” He looks at you like he can’t help it, and you’re not fast enough to avoid his gaze. “And then it happened again. Turns out I’m no better at dealing with it this time around.” He gives a flat little laugh. “Steve told me that I wasn’t going to drop out on his account, and it just seemed like… Like tempting fate, to try to have this-” He gestures around at the room, “- And you.”

You don’t even know what to say. Bucky drops his head.

“It is pathetic,” He admits, “But I’ve lost it all before. And I just couldn’t do it again.”

The urge to yell itches at your throat. He decided to pull everything apart. He thought he knew best. He treated you like you were stupid, or needy, or too much effort to maintain, regardless of his intentions.

And yet… His explanation kind of makes sense.

You swallow; force your arms to relax.

“I still- I can’t forgive you. Not- not right now. And your… Noble intentions mean fuck all to me, you know that, right?” You stare hard at the carpet. “Because it hurt me just the same.”

You look back up to see Bucky bowed forward, hands clasped almost as though in prayer. Let lips meet, as hands do…

But that had been a lifetime ago. That hopeful, exploratory, joyful love was gone. Maybe forever.

You still think maybe, a voice whispers in your head, and your heart convulses.

“So,” Bucky’s voice is bleak, “This is it?”

For a long moment, you’re silent. Torn.

“Y/N?”

You sigh. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Your eyes are drawn back to him, a question suddenly forcing its way out of your mouth. “If Steve hadn’t locked us in here, would you have ever said anything?”

Or would you have let me accept my new reality? Let me go on, pretending you never existed, gradually washing you out of each and every moment until every trace was erased?

Bucky shifts, his expression pained. “I… I guess all I can say is that I’ve regretted what I’ve done every day. Every single day. But I couldn’t reconcile it, I couldn’t find a way back, I couldn’t- couldn’t find a way to fix it.”

Your smile is brief, weighed down by memories. But you have your answer.

“OK,” You say. “OK. I- we’re not done.”

Bucky’s sudden look of hope sends a stab right through your chest, and you hold up your hand as though to ward it off.

“But.” You take a deep breath. “I want to go back. Right back. I need to know that we can still be friends.”

Bucky nods, slowly. His blue eyes glitter when they meet yours; that familiar wry smile struggles to curve across his face. “And I need to not fuck it up again.”

The huff of breath that escapes your mouth is barely a laugh, but you’ll take it anyway.

“Exactly,” You say, unable to summon more appropriate words. “Exactly.”

AN: Hooooly shit we made it here! I have been writing this scene for weeks you guys, literal weeks. My thanks and love to @systemfailuresunshine for endlessly betaing this chapter despite the emotional pain ;) I LOVE TALKING TO YOU ALL GETTING MESSAGES AND ANONS AND REPLIES IS LIKE GETTING AN ICE CREAM OR SOMETHING EQUALLY WONDERFUL AND EXCITING. YOU ARE ALL AMAZING. SEE YOU IN A FEW DAYS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER <3 <3 <3

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Part 13

[sickdaysofficial]

Say it Ain’t So, Doc

Sickdays 3, Day 4: Say it Ain’t So, Doc.

Fandom: my (@lickstynine’s) OCs

Characters: Minato, Kazu

T/W: self-harm

Kazu flipped his sketchbook closed with an exhausted sigh. That was enough work for now. He'd been drawing since he woke up; he was tired and hungry, and his shoulders ached from hunching over his desk for hours. Wiping off his graphite-covered hands on his jeans, he stood up and stretched, cracking his back and strolling out of his studio.

As he walked down the hall towards the living room, Kazu could hear coughing from the kitchen. This wasn't unusual; Minato was often surrounded by clouds of flour and powdered sugar, and the sound was as common as the whir of the mixer. Kazu strolled into the kitchen and gently patted the tiny blond on the back.

"Hey babe. Whatcha makin'?" The taller man murmured, kissing the top of Minato's head.

Min smiled and held up the bowl of batter he was mixing. "Red velvet cupcakes. Want to taste?"

Kazu shook his head. "Nah. Not hungry." That was a lie, but he didn't feel like eating. Instead, he grabbed a bottle of vodka and a pint glass, pouring out more than any decent person should drink and leaving the bottle out for later. He took a swig from the glass as casually as if it were beer, ruffling Minato's hair as he walked off to the living room to watch TV.

The chatter of the television could be heard in the kitchen, and Minato rolled his eyes at the screams of some mindless action movie. Sticking his cupcakes in the oven, he pulled out the powdered sugar and cream cheese needed to make the icing. A cloud of sweet dust exploded in his face as he opened the bag of sugar, and he coughed into his shoulder as it dissipated.

Minato paused for a moment, setting the sugar down on the counter. His chest felt tight - there was a bit of a stitch keeping him from taking a proper deep breath, and it hurt a little when he coughed. Maybe his lungs were sore from coughing a lot? He shrugged, puzzled but not overly worried, and went back to measuring out ingredients for icing.

As he poured out the sugar, another poof dusted his face with sweet powder. He coughed again, wincing at the now stabbing pain in his chest. That probably wasn’t good. Leaning against the counter, he focused solely on trying to take a few deep breaths. To his alarm, Minato started to realize he couldn’t. He could barely breathe at all. Trying his hardest to not immediately freak out, he scuttled over to the living room, standing in front of the TV to make sure he caught Kazu’s attention.

“Sup babe?” The dark-haired man was sprawled out on the couch, but he sat up to greet Minato, setting his now-empty pint glass aside.

“Uhm, I… I can’t breathe…”

“What?” Kazu blinked in confusion, sure he must have misheard his husband.

Minato repeated himself, though his voice was a little wavery. “I can’t breathe. I… I really don’t feel well. I think… I think I need to see a doctor.”

“Shit, uh… aight. Let…. lemme grab shoes.” Kazu stammered. He was secretly worried as hell, but he knew letting that show would scare Minato. He swung his legs off the couch, hopping to his feet and grabbing the converse he had left by the front door. He shoved his feet into them but didn’t bother to tie the laces, then grabbed his car keys and the bottle of vodka from the kitchen. “C’mon, babe.”

Minato hurried after him, asking, “Should we tell Takao where we’re going?”

Kazu shook his head. “I’ll take care of it later.” He buckled Min into the passenger seat and hopped into the driver’s seat, not bothering to buckle himself. Clicking the button to open the garage, he gunned it out of the driveway and down the street.

Minato normally would’ve whined about Kazu’s reckless driving, but he was getting lightheaded and was currently fighting to at least take shallow breaths and stay conscious. He was trembling from fear and close to tears when a warm, strong hand wrapped around his. Kazu leaned over and pressed a quick kiss on the top of Min’s head.

“It’s gonna be okay, babe. I promise. I gotcha.” Luckily, Kazu was a good liar, and Minato seemed genuinely reassured. Meanwhile, the taller man was worrying his lower lip between his teeth, almost drawing blood as his anxiety went through the roof. Once they were on a relatively straight stretch of road, he switched to driving with his knee, so he could use the hand not holding Minato’s to grab the bottle of vodka he’d brought. Kazu didn’t set the bottle down til it was empty, and by set down, I mean he rolled down the window and chucked it wantonly onto the highway. Once his nerves had settled some, his hand returned to the steering wheel, his sharp gaze watching the road signs for the nearest hospital.

There it was, finally. The signature blue H that told them where to turn. Kazu made a sharp left that earned him several unfriendly honks from his fellow drivers. His response was an emphatic middle finger in their direction and a few choice curse words to top it off. Luckily, none of them seemed to know Japanese.

Too lightheaded and nervous to reprimand Kazu for his rude behavior, Minato simply squeezed his husband’s hand, whining quietly.

“Kazu-chan… I’m scared.”

“I know, babe. It’s okay. I’ll make sure nobody hurts you.” Kazu’s tone was eerily serious as he replied. He parked in a handicapped spot, sticking a blue placard he definitely didn’t need on the dashboard. Hopping out of the car, he walked around and scooped Minato out of the passenger side, carrying him into the emergency room. “I need a fucking doctor.”

“Sir, you need to sign in. We’ll take care of you in due time.” The clerk behind the desk was a bored middle-aged woman who looked like she regretted all her decisions in life leading up to this point. She pointed to the clipboard on the desk. “Fill that out and a doctor will be with you shortly.”

“I’ll fill my fuckin’ foot up your ass. Just gimme a damn doctor. He can’t fuckin’ breathe.”

The receptionist sighed, realizing Kazu was going to be a pain in the ass to deal with. “Sir, this is the emergency room. Everyone here is having an emergency. The doctor will be with you shortly. Please fill out the paperwork.”

Kazu hissed something at her in Japanese and Minato mumbled, “Honey, that… that’s not nice… Just take the papers.”

Rolling his eyes in frustration, the taller man snatched up the clipboard and a pen, giving the receptionist a middle finger as he walked off to sit down. He sat down with Minato in his lap, squinting at the intake forms as he twirled the pen in his left hand. After a moment’s analysis, he realized he didn’t understand most of the words on the page. Minato was too out of it to be any help, so Kazu pulled out his phone to see if Google Translate could not suck for a hot second.

No Signal.

“Guess I’ll go fuck myself…” He grumbled. Sighing quietly, he did his best to sound out the unfamiliar words under his breath and guess what they meant. God bless whatever poor fucker got to enter that information into the computer. Not only did most of the answers make little to no sense for the questions, but Kazu’s handwriting was… something to behold. It was surprisingly neat, but looked nothing like proper lettering at all. Completely devoid of curves, it was all sharp angles and oddly proportioned shapes and would take a lot of squinting and suffering to be deciphered. He tossed the clipboard back at the receptionist and went back to sitting with his husband.

A few minutes later, a doctor came into the emergency room wielding a clipboard. Kazu watched the man closely, waiting to see what he said.

“Mrs. Matthews? The doctor will see you now.”

A tiny old lady stood up and shuffled over to meet the doctor, and Kazu scowled upon realizing he would have to wait even longer, grumbling something about “useless-ass American healthcare…”

“Shh, honey, s’okay… ‘s gonna be okay…” Minato gave Kazu’s cheek a reassuring pat. He was a little too dizzy and oxygen-deprived to be scared anymore, and was now just draped across his husband’s lap, swaying to the tune of the bland music playing over the speakers.

Kazu did not seem at all soothed by Minato’s attempts to calm him. He was nervously running his hands through his hair, biting at his lip and fidgeting in his chair. Anxiety and frustration were building up within him, multiplying every time a doctor called for someone that wasn’t them. Minato was curled up in his arms, breathing shallowly. Was he going to be okay? Was this it for them? Kazu could feel his heart starting to race as the negative thoughts multiplied in his head. What if Minato died? What if it was his fault? Should he have pushed the doctor, insisted they see him now? What would he do if Minato did die?

He twisted a lock of sleek dark hair around his finger. It was getting long, almost to his shoulderblades. He’d probably cut it soon. He could do it now if he wanted; the knife in his pocket was sharp. Really sharp. It could cut more than hair. It could slice through skin without a second thought. Maybe that would calm him down. He could just slip away for a moment and -

“Mr. Kurosawa?” A doctor’s voice cut into Kazu’s chaotic train of thought.

“Huh? What? Yeah, that’s… that’s us.” He hopped to his feet, carrying Minato over to the doctor.

The doctor looked down at his clipboard. “It says here you’ve been having respiratory difficulties.”

Kazu blinked at the doctor, baffled. “What.”

“Trouble breathing. He’s been having trouble breathing, correct?”

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s right.” Kazu nodded emphatically, following the doctor as they were led down the halls to a room where Minato could be examined.

“You can go ahead and set him down here.” The doctor gestured to the pristine white bed. “Has he had any other health issues lately?”

Kazu gently set his husband on the sheets, holding Min’s tiny hand tightly so the blond would know he was still right there. “Uhm, he… he’s been coughin’ a lot, but that’s just the stupid flour he’s always workin’ with…”

“Flour? Is he a baker?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Bakes a lot. He also… had, uh, had the flu last winter… um… fuckin’... stomach bug, couple months ago… and… and, uh… he twisted his ankle a couple weeks ago, but he’s been doin’ fine the last few days.”

The doctor nodded, having jotted down notes as he listened to Kazu. “Alright, thank you. We’ll run a few tests, give him something to open up his airways, see what’s going on. You can return to the waiting room, if you’d like… we have a cafeteria on the second floor.”

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” Kazu replied. He wasn’t about to leave Minato alone with some stranger, doctor or not. His grip on Min’s hand tightened a little, and he gave the doctor a look that said ‘move me. I dare you.’

Realizing he wasn’t going to be able to get Kazu out of the room, the doctor sighed quietly and simply went to work, trying to avoid the lanky demon’s piercing gaze. Kazu was glaring at him the entire time he worked, hovering protectively over Minato to the point that the doctor could barely work. At first, he was just bouncing slightly with anxiety, but as the time ticked on, he started getting worse. Tapping his shoe. Twisting his hair. Pacing the room. Fidgeting with the knife in his pocket. After a while, he finally just pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag to soothe his frayed nerves.

The doctor stopped what he was doing, turning to give Kazu an ‘is-he-actually-fucking-doing-that’ look. “Ah, sir… you can’t smoke in here.”

“And you can’t be a little bitch in here either, but here ya are! How ‘bout ya shove those nerdy little glasses up your ass and go back to doin’ your fuckin’ job?” Kazu hissed, giving the doctor a venomous glare.

“Sir. If you don’t put out that cigarette and stop interfering with my work, I’m going to have to call security.” The doctor’s tone was much more stern and serious this time.

“I’ll put it out in your stupid fucking face!” Kazu angrily threw the still-lit cigarette at the doctor, storming out of the room. He was furious. All he wanted to do was help Minato, but he was completely useless right now. He hated feeling helpless. He didn’t rely on other people for anything, and he didn’t like having to trust strangers with his husband’s well-being. Minato was the only thing in life that mattered to him, and if that doctor messed up… well, god fucking help him, cause the poor bastard wouldn’t live to see morning.

When he finally paused for a moment to analyze his surroundings, Kazu realized he had walked all the way out of the hospital. He was standing out back, his only company shadows and dumpsters. It felt more like home than anywhere he’d been in a long time. He leaned against the cold concrete wall and sank down to a sitting position, pulling out his lighter and cigarettes again. Hands shaking, he lit up and took a long drag, gazing off into the barren back parking lot as his brain swarmed with negative thoughts.

He was such a fuck-up. How could he just abandon Minato like that? What if Minato hated him for it? What if Minato died while he was gone? What would he do if Minato died? It would be all his fault. He should’ve been watching the doctors. He should’ve insisted they saw Min sooner. The only person on earth he cared about was going to die and it was all his fucking fault.

Kazu was shaking like a leaf, trying not to have a full-blown panic attack. His overlong hair fell in his face as he curled in on himself, and his thoughts from earlier came rushing back. The knife. He should cut his hair. He should cut it right now. He discarded his cigarette, snuffing it out on his arm and tossing the butt aside. Fishing in his pockets, he pulled out a decent-sized knife, unfolding it and giving a demented smile as the blade glinted in the dim evening light. Without a moment’s hesitation, he took the razor-sharp steel to his hair, hacking off the bottom third of its length in hasty, uneven swipes.

By the time Kazu was done, his lap and the cement around him were covered in hacked-off strands of glossy raven hair. In the orange glow of the parking lot lights, it took on a fiery undertone, making him look as though he sat in a bed of slender embers. Cutting his hair had been satisfying. Very satisfying. It let him channel his frustration, punish himself for being such a fuck-up. He wanted to do more, but he didn’t want his hair any shorter.

It was nearly midnight by the time Kazu returned to Minato’s room. The doctor was standing by the foot of the bed, looking over Min’s charts and all the notes he’d taken. “Ah. Mr… Yokota, is it? I was wondering when you’d be back.”

“Is he okay? What’d you do?” Rather than looking at the doctor, Kazu was busy examining Minato for any signs of harm.

“He’s going to be fine. We gave him a bronchodilator, and his vitals returned to normal. He appears to be suffering from occupational asthma, known more colloquially as baker’s lung.”

Kazu gave the doctor a puzzled look. “W… what does that mean?”

“Basically, long term-exposure to flour dust and the like has damaged his lungs. Breathing it in now causes his airways to contract, making it difficult for him to breathe.”

“So… so how do I fix it?”

“Removing the asthma-causing agent from your home would be the first step. If symptoms persist, we can look into treatment with asthma medications.”

Kazu’s brows furrowed a little. “So… no more flour and shit? No more baking?”

The doctor nodded. “I’m afraid so. Otherwise, his condition may continue to deteriorate.”

“Shit… he… he ain’t gonna be happy about  that.”

“I know, but medical needs take priority over hobbies.” The doctor offered a sympathetic smile. “Do you have any other questions before I go?”

Kazu’s mind changed tracks as he remembered one other thing he had wanted to ask. “Yeah, uh, ya got… got any bandages?”

“This is a hospital, of course we have bandages. Are you hurt?”

“‘M fine. My car was actin’ up earlier. Burned myself workin’ on it. Always forget how hot the engine block gets.” Kazu produced an embarrassed smile, sealing his already-convincing lie.

The doctor seemed sold, not suspecting for a second that the dark sleeves of Kazu’s hoodie were almost soaked through with blood. “Of course, let me see…” he turned to the supply cabinet on the wall opposite the bed, pulling out a roll of bandages and offering them to the dark-haired giant. “Here you are. Help yourself. I need to go check on a few other patients. Press the button over there if you need to call for a nurse.”

“Thanks.” Kazu gave a brief wave as the young man in the white coat walked off down the hall. He sank down in a nearby chair, peeling off his jacket so he could put the bandages to good use. Once his arms looked like part of a shitty mummy costume, he put his hoodie back on, hiding his bad decisions under layers of unassuming black fabric.

It was about three in the morning when Minato finally woke up. His wide taupe eyes scanned the room as he tried to figure out where he was. “Kazu-chan?”

“‘M right here, babe.” Kazu waved from the chair he was sitting in before getting up to come perch on the edge of Minato’s bed. “We… we gotta talk.”

“What is it?” Minato frowned, his dark brows scrunching together under his blond fringe.

Averting his eyes for a moment, Kazu twisted his hair around his finger as he contemplated what to say. This familiar nervous tic drew Minato’s eyes to a discrepancy in his husband’s appearance.

“Is your hair shorter?” He squinted in confusion at Kazu’s choppy, chin-length hair, which had been neatly cut and past his shoulders just the previous evening.

Kazu nodded. “Yeah. It was gettin’ long. Botherin’ me. But that’s not what we gotta talk about.”

“Okay. What’s up?”

“Well, uh, the doc… he… he figured out what’s wrong with ya.” Kazu continued to tug as his hair as he spoke. “Fuckin’ asthma. He… he said it’s cause a’ the shit ya bake with… Fuckin’ flour, and sugar powder and shit.”

Minato seemed taken aback, and he took a long while to think before asking, “So, do I need to like… wear a mask when I bake or something?”

Kazu winced a little, not wanting to shatter the naivete of his husband’s unrelenting optimism. “Uh, well… not exactly. He says… ya shouldn’t bake anymore.” Hanging his head in shame, Kazu clearly felt guilty about delivering the news.

“W… what?” Minato’s eyes widened in shock, and his lip quivered a little as he fought back tears. “I can’t bake?”

“It’ll make ya sick, babe. I’m… I’m real sorry.” Kazu wrapped an arm around Min’s shoulders, giving him a gentle pat on the back.

The tiny blond sat in silence for a moment as he processed the information he’d just received. He couldn’t bake anymore. He couldn’t even help others bake. Simply being around the most important ingredients would render him unable to breathe. He wasn’t sure what to do. Baking was his favourite hobby. It had been his career for years, and he’d been planning to take it up again once Takao left for college. If he couldn’t cook, what would he do when he was sad, or stressed, or just wanted something sweet? He buried his face in Kazu’s chest and started to sob.

“Shh…. Shhh… s’okay. It’s gonna be okay. I gotcha.” Kazu gave Minato a tight squeeze, ignoring the sharp pains of protest in his arms. “How ‘bout this. Let’s go getcha signed outta here, an’ on the way home, we can buy a big thing a’ cookies. How’s that sound?”

“I… I guess that would be nice.” Minato mumbled, his voice muffled by Kazu’s t-shirt.

Kazu ruffled Min’s hair. “Good. It can be any kinda cookies ya want, okay?”

“O-okay…”

For more, or to tell me I suck, go check out @lickstynine.