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susandsnell · 6 months ago

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hey coco! hope ur having a good day! was wondering if u’d like to talk about why u like and what u find compelling with atton/exile? do u have a particular route or headcanon underwhich u prefer them or is it more of an overarching meta appreciation?

Hi, friend!

Thanks so much for the well-wishes. My day's kind of ehh due to continued Issues but the weather's nice and I'm feeling a little calmer. Hope your day is good!

Thank you so much for sending me this and enabling me shamelessly. I've been ride-or-die for Atton/Exile (which is M/F if you played the Jedi Exile as female, which I did and which is 'canon' but let's not talk about the latter lest we kick the hornet's nest) since summer 2011, which is almost 13 years now? Wild. Literally half my life. Anyhow, my reasons/headcanons have changed and evolved just as I've done a lot of growing up since the time I was first obsessed, but I'll do my best to synthesize/organize my thoughts! (Assume all the Restored Content is canon). More under the cut because 'synthesis' is still essay-length for me, God help me.

First off, I tended to play the Jedi Exile as light-sided and Revan as dark sided; I find the narrative of both games to be the most meaningful with these choices. This post basically puts into words why Revan works better as a Dark Sider, but the Exile, to me, as Revan's foil and mirror, works inversely best as a light sider. The game seems to want you to play her light-sided given how Kreia's best stuff/approval lies in that path. KOTOR II is one of the darkest entries to the Star Wars universe by far, but with a light sided exile, it's a story about how moving through life with an unyielding belief in love and justice for others in your heart will ignite that light in the people around you, and repair a broken world/galaxy.

Enter Atton.

KOTOR II is great in that you technically have such a wide range of shipping dynamics/options, and exactly none of them are functional, largely because it's one of the Star Wars media entries with the most harrowingly realistic depictions of war and its psychological impact on the people it touches. Atton Rand happened to be my favourite of all the love interests at the time because of his voice and his snarky meta-jokes (I was a Daria fanatic almost 2 decades too late, what do you want). Nowadays, I love him because his character basically took the Star Wars expanded universe requirement for Han Solo expys and went off the rails with it, making his 'scoundrel' archetype half-his charming and humorous personality, half-a facade to cover severe and quite realistically portrayed war PTSD as well as his actions as Jaq, the torture-happy mercenary. It's "what if the self-serving charming rogue during wartime archetype was brought to its logical conclusion" and I am here for it.

So first you have the parallels and contrasts - both committed atrocities during the Mandalorian wars, but while Atton was loyal to Revan after their fall and never faced justice for his wrongdoings, the (light-sided) Exile turned from Revan and still was scapegoated by the Council. Atton is a character mired in his own bitterness and cynicism, and you have the option to choose to play the Exile as a character driven solely by her morals, even when she'll suffer unconscionably for them, and it is through this unflinching clinging to her morals that she gains the idealism necessary to survive everything she goes through. Atton once sought to rip freewill away from his victims; the Exile unconsciously, slowly saps it through the cipher.

As a young teen, I admittedly was starry-eyed over the 'sheltered good girl manipulated and hurt by so many meets sexy bad boy recovering from his own past and they protect each other as a power couple' archetyping, but it does go a lot deeper than that. Their dialogue options have easy, natural, sexy chemistry that draws you in, but I do think my appreciation goes deeper. This isn't a simple 'fixing the bad boy' because of the narrative device of the Force cipher meaning you quite literally have "I can fix him" and "I can make him worse" as your game mechanics, lol. You get your surface-level fun of their interactions between the proper, well-mannered Jedi and the flirtatious rapscallion, but you also have two people who, for the reasons I outlined above, fundamentally understand each other after harrowing lifetimes spent alone in their pain and trauma.

I'd go so far as to say Atton is the best-placed of anyone to understand the Exile; the Sion ship is compelling and squee-worthy to any Phantom fangirl worth her salt (as I was), but she's everything he couldn't be or fathom, Visas may have felt closer to the pain the Exile did over Malachor V but her worst actions were committed under duress as a captive of Darth Nihilus and not of her own volition (so I argue she's a lot more morally innocent than Atton or the Exile), Mical/The Disciple is the innocence and warmth of the Exile's upbringing untouched by how the Mando wars reforged her and while Brianna/The Handmaiden is excellent as a potential parallel for specifically the Exile's abuse at the hands of the Jedi (Atris in particular), she's still similarly sheltered to Mical. Bao-Dur was with the Exile during the war but the game didn't develop him enough and understands that aspect of her, but they canonically per the dialogue emotionally distanced themselves given the circumstances, and Mira the Bounty Hunter is cool sister-zoned, but I suspect her family being victim to Malachor V would drive a wedge no matter how much forgiveness the game preaches.

Meanwhile, Atton knows and/or loves not pieces of the Exile, but as she is; the battered and betrayed veteran with a lifetime of wrongdoing to atone for that he recognizes in himself, and the naive Jedi she was before that the charming flirt in him likes to tease. And although his backstory is a revelation, and a harrowing one to the Exile, who sees what she might have become had she stayed with Revan, this is what their relationship is; seeing someone in their totality, and loving and honouring the worst with the best. Despite knowing what the Exile's done, Atton values her enough to still care about how she views him that he begs Kreia not to tell her the truth about his past. The two are instantly drawn to each other on Peragus, not just out of necessity but genuine, instinctive protectiveness, attraction, and a deeper sense (be it Force-Assisted or not) of understanding. Atton refers to it in his death scene (if you count that) as love at first sight, and while there was probably initial infatuation, I think there was just such an instant magnetism that grew and grew between them through shared experience. "Don't give up on me now, dammit!" and "You want her, you get through me." come to mind. Atton is the only party member that asks her to train him in the Force, whereas she has to prompt and convince the others into their awakening. He's deeply scarred by his experiences with the Force, not to mention it's actively dangerous to train as a Jedi due to the Exchange, but he's willing to face that for the Exile - he tells her that part of why he wants to train as a Jedi is to be better able to protect and fight for her. One of the first things he does is teach her to play Pazaak in her head to prevent from psychic attacks through the Force/harm through Kreia's force bond - the exact weapon he wielded against others. The tragedy of any Jedi Exile ship is the constant insecurity created by the force-wound/cipher; how much of anyone's choice to follow in their footsteps or love them is their own free will? What power dynamics, unspoken or obvious, arise from it? But Atton's fierce independence and selfishness almost serves as the clearest answer to this. He willingly reawakens himself to the Force to connect with her, to be better able to fight for her. He chose her, a thousand times over, and whatever role the Force Wound plays, he accepts her influence out of admiration for that steadfast-to-a-fault morality I talked about before.

This isn't some corny gender essentialist "she is his redemption" nonsense either, although redemption is a major theme of a light-sided KOTOR 2; by training Atton and others as a Jedi, the Exile is actively doing the work to heal the galaxy she helped to break. By protecting and teaching and bonding with the Exile, Atton is regaining his own humanity through recognizing hers, over and over, the way he failed to recognize those of his victims. They're together in this, in their recovery, in how they've experienced all extremes of morality. Love, in this story, isn't about fixing someone or breaking them, it's about meeting them where they are and walking alongside them, hopefully to someplace better than where you were when you both met. Is it any wonder that he's the one she walks away with in the end? (As if he'd let her walk alone ever again.)

With all this being said, and to address your question, while the route/headcanon preferences I prefer for Atton/Exile create, I think, the richest narrative with what's there, I've definitely got an overarching meta appreciation for them too. I spent my teen years eagerly eating up every possible iteration of them as a couple, and much of what I described above can hold true in a different aspect if people prefer to play them dark-sided, if people hold the tragic dying in your arms ending as canon, and so forth. They're compelling any way you slice them.

#kotor 2 #atton rand #jedi exile #atton x exile #kotor ii #i hope this made sense sdnfsnfsd #god help me i'm back on my bullshit

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taylortruther · 4 months ago

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a little adjacent to heteronormative relationships and the public eye, what are your thoughts on how the media crafts certain narratives in balancing, say, clickability/interest with actual information being received (either by a publicist, paparazzi, or common sense)? and how those things feed into each other to tell certain stories?

obviously, there's the way taylor and travis are reported on, but i'm also thinking of someone like JLo and Ben, who's narrative abruptly shifted from "true love after 20 years" to "on the verge of divorce" and how JLo's perception as someone ( a woman, specifically) who's more fame-hungry/self-obsessed has fed into that. then you have your over-idealized young love (olivia rodrigo and her actor boyfriend! millie bobbie brown and her husband!!) (jesus christ lol) and the way the media is just so much kinder and in adoration in a way that we know isn't going to last

idk, was just thinking about how the love/hatred cycle of the woman in the relationship feeds these cycles, but wondered if you had any other thoughts about that switch from 'adored couple' to 'get the popcorn ready for DIVORCE' and how much is driven by what's actually going on and how much is driven by, well, everything else

love ur blog <3

idk! i wrote a lot! not sure if this really touches on what you wanted because tbh to me, the media drives much of it, but it's hard to say "the narratives" without really talking about "the society" that creates the narrative that the media exploits. it is a big question for one blog and i'd be interested in more thoughts because it is more fun for me when it's a dialogue and not just me opining.

i think celebrity can often cast a magnifying glass on what are otherwise normal, common human experiences. it's like when you read greek mythology, and the gods are so awful, but one of the reasons they're so awful is because they're afflicted with human flaws like pride and vanity, but with (often scary) powers. celebrities aren't all-powerful deities, but they have beauty, wealth, platform, public trust, privileges galore, at their disposal.

so there's interest in what they do because it gives us insight into other human stories. and one of the common narratives in our society (world?) is that of young love! young, sexy people being young and sexy together, who doesn't like that.

but, idk. people are judgmental. there's a lot to say about how human stories become content on the internet, but it's really more of a tale of how humans are judgy, and the internet makes it easier (and more satisfying, superficially) to do it. like, you see the same type of comments on taylor swift/travis videos as you do on jlo/ben articles as you do on the comment section of a 22-year-old influencer on instagram with 3,000 followers (or a blog on here tbh)... they can be kind, but they are often viciously cruel, about the same things: appearance, age, vapidity, superficiality, intelligence, damaging kids' psyches, whatever.

life and human experience is a narrative - we tell ourselves stories about our lives, but when we're watching someone else's, the narrative becomes clearer. jlo and ben can't just stay fun and sexy forever. the masses want a narrative: the buildup, the conflict, the climax, the comedown, the resolution. unfortunately, humans don't really get a whole story until they're dead and someone crafts a narrative about their life in retrospect. so we often get stuck in that cycle of conflict and comedown. (there's a lot to say about taylor's love for an underdog/phoenix rising from the ashes metaphor too tbh.) whether any of the conflict is real, or exaggerated, is kind of besides the point. it's not really about the celebrities as humans anymore.

and sexism/ageism is a factor too. like, society hates women. women are devalued and dehumanized as a matter of course. so, as a famous woman who literally commodifies part of herself in some way, that hatred will be loud and open.

we see that in how people talk about celebrity moms and their relationships/breakups. sophie/joe or angelina/brad are great examples of how the woman can't be trusted: she's too young, too wild, too irresponsible, lalala. meanwhile, no one truly thinks the man is essential in the parenting role (talk about a reflection of society!) so his lack of parenting, or his shitty parenting, doesn't quite damage his reputation the way lesser "crimes" affect a woman.

i also have some thoughts on how the internet has been ~gentrified~ (i use this term SO loosely/unseriously but it gets the point across) and how that changes what we talk about and how. but that's a separate topic.

eta: i will probably read this journal article when i have a good minute, because i think it articulates similar thoughts. it's about how celebrities fall from grace (like cosby), but i love the term "social myth":

Even if such determination can be questioned – stars and celebrities continue to provide cohering social myths to bind with – the issues of degradation, desecration and decelebrification are an integral part of the complex phenomenon of celebrity. Unsurprisingly the switch between steps related to consecration and degradation in celebrity life is a constant: the rise and fall narrative, a central component of star and fan identification streams, and media marketing.

#hot taykes

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threespacemonkeys · 7 months ago

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Twenty Questions to Ask A Writer:

Thanks to @candycurlsofmaddness for this concept.

How many works do you have on AO3? Currently 70 with an additional 2 WIPS that are almost finished.

What's your total A03 word count? 437,647

What fandoms do you write for? oh, god. What I don’t write for would be a better question. A piece of media will stick with me and then I just obsessed with it. I think Star Trek is my biggest fandom with the most stories though. And two after that with the most stories would McLoed’s Daughter and Criminal Minds. I'm most active in the Star Trek/Star Wars/Stargate fandom spaces though.

What are your top five fics by kudos? Star Wars: Roads Paved with Good Intentions Numb3rs: To Assume Blacklist: Two Stranger in a Dark Club Hawaii 5-0: Accidents Happen Hawaii 5-0: Accidental Discovery

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do try my hardest, but sometimes I get caught up with life and forget. I do reply if it hasn’t been like ten years.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh, Choices, the third in my law and order criminal intent series. Main character death after a short but full romance, ended with a funeral and no leads on the murder

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of them are pretty happy, but probably Western Justice, one of my Bonanza stories.

Do you get hate on fics? Yep, but not as a writer strangely. As a reader I had a reply to my comment that told me to kill myself and called me the C word. That was not fun.

Do you write smut? I do! Though it’s only been recently and only if I feel like it fits into the story and fandom. I’m a big fan of fade to black as well as non explicit smut. That’s my favorite kinda, sexy, but we don’t need all the bits and bobs, but that’s my opinion.

Do you write crossovers? Not usually! I’ve only done one, Highlander/Criminal Minds.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know off, but with AI, probably.

Have you ever had a fic translated? I have! And it was a great honor.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope and I don’t have a strong desire to do so? I could switch off my chapters with another author’s but writing a whole story together? Not my bag.

What's your all-time favourite ship? Jack/Sam from Stargate SG-1 has a special place in my heart, but I don’t think I’m a die hard shipper normally.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ooof. There’s some for Star Trek TNG that I’l never finish. Too cringey.

What are your writing strengths? I’m great with dialogue, pacing, and action scene.

What are your writing weaknesses? grammar, spelling, run on sentences, maybe plot some times?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I’ve done it, but figuring out the translation or getting it so no translation is needed even if it’s a foreign language. It’s messy.

First fandom you wrote for: Star Wars believe it or not, but published was CSI NY.

Favourite fic you've ever written? Oooooo. Tough one. I like all of them, don’t make me choose a favorite child. Rude.

#writers #writer's ask #ao3 #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom life #star wars #star trek #stargate #criminal minds

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kooktrash · 2 years ago

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GURL you write so good why didn't I found you earlier I read your rockstar au of Jungkook while ago and lost it all before I could follow you and praise the work of art 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ you do freely for us delusionals 🥺😮‍💨

(⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)

I just love all your ffs your Sexy ass brain how it generates theses ideas I'm in love with it 🫠🫠 I just got done reading so many other ffs of yours lemme give them all their separate Love 😤

But THE LOVE LIES GOD I'M so READY💃🏻💃🏻 FOR OUR toxic hot couple goals 🔥 keep it coming on

The oc is so stupid I felt like punching are at times just they way you are writing is so real and JK BITCH 🙄😒 I'm sure he is leaving oc too as soon as gets bored within week or month ain't no way he is "staying" "caring for her" bullshit bullshit

Also DAMN they way jk was saying don't you trust and all those nonsense dialogues of them 🙄 so boring and repeativie as always was so proper fboy nostalgia I was getting

Heads up to see 🙈 more sexy toxicity you got for us

thanxxxx but don’t do love lies oc like that 😭😭😭 she’s not dumb, she knows Jungkook doing too much by what he’s saying but ✨trauma✨ and they both got it, it just don’t go into detail in the first part but it’ll be explained more in the second 🫡 and jk is yandere so that explains some of the things he says and his sudden, obsessive need to change is acc pretty usual for yandere types cause once they got their mind on someone for little time or not they going to the extreme 💀

the first part doesn’t show much but they’re both gonna be ✨toxic✨not just jk lovebombing y/n

but on another note 😵‍💫 all my fics I write are the only thing that keeps me from being a delulu bc I can make up stories I want instead of be one of those territorial delulus that cries when an idol gets in a relationship bc in my head I act like they dating me 💀in my head I’ve been in a polygamous relationship with every single idol I’ve biased since I was 16 so for 5 years lmfaoooo 💅

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durrtydawg · 8 months ago

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Raining toads is NOT the vibe! I wish you a sexy Sam dream very soon!

Oh gosh, I haven’t written creatively in… I want to say 10 years. I write business/professionally for work, but for me to write a drabble? It’ll read like a grant proposal LOL.

So I did try to daydream and continue when I woke up, and I got as far as like Sam and I kind of being a conniving super couple to edge our way into team ownership as well. And trying to transform our public personas into like a hot power couple that overtly flirts in public and we trend on social media a lot. I think that was inspired my some other fics in a different fandom that do fics that look like trending tweets with snippets of fiction in between? I was thinking something like that.

I do have to say that your Toxic Relationship series changed me, like, on a cellular level. It is everything I love and needed to read and see and experience and imagine 😫 so thank you for that!

Your fics and another orphan account on ao3, SDTS, really scratch the Sam itch with his characterization and indulgent smut! Cheers to that!!

It is NOT. Really gave me the heebie jeebies.

ANYWAY. Oh my god, more power to you for pushing the dream. I'm obsessed- this would make for one very sexy au, if you ask me.

Ughh I do corporate copywriting as part of my job, and it's... a killer. But fuuuck, if you ever get 5 mins to just sit and write something- anything that makes you smile (i recommend a flat out exchange of mundane dialogue to get it all flowing) it reaaaally feels good to get creative from time to time. And hey, maybe you can weave a sexy grant proposal into it 💦

EEEKK also thank you??!?! SDTS was one of the core accounts I used to binge read back in the day, so to be put on that level?!?!?! *shrill scream* i hope they're doing well 🥲.

And the toxic relationship stuff!! I'm really tempted to write a 3rd part to round it all off, but deciding where to take it is gonna take a while. I'm so grateful that you've enjoyed it- would love to know which ending of ATOYO you preferred because honestly, the 2nd is canon in my eyes. Anyway, I'm rambling, but DUUUDE please please if you ever want to ramble, hit up the dms. I promise I'm nice (ish) x

#hehe asks #god these make me so happy ily anon

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raccoonspooky · 2 years ago

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OKAY OKAY OKAY OHHHHH MY GOD. This is making me need to like run around and bite drywall like a rambunctious rabbit who's broken free of its enclosure and I need so badly to eat electrical wire. Oh dear oh lord ohohhhhhhh. Hunter prey kink brb eating drywall, literally my NUMBER ONE nasty that gets me barking barking AAAA

First of all, this is so fucking well written certain sentences have me just idk mentally snorting them like coke lmao. What a dang headrush this entire fic is omg! Love this particular brand of stockholm like i'm not waking up ass early in the morning for any reason in particular! I'm not huffing his fkn sweater to swoon about it, I'm just curious! Jeez!

Often while reading x reader fics I sort of imagine the "you" as this bodiless entity, I don't necessarily think of myself or want to think of myself in these scenarios. but this bitch? I am them. We are ONE. Oh BOY. Calling themselves a trained monkey? Lmao? Im emitting a high pitched noise that only dogs can hear. I need to go to ambrose right now actually, I'll be completely fine and no bad things will happen to me at all!

I'm so obsessed with the whole scene set up. He immediately is a grumpy bitchy dickhole, all sweaty and hehehe wifebeater hehehe his cute ass hair all sweaty and shit and he's GWUMPY and sTUBBLe and SWEAT PANTS??? SWEAT PANTS?????? Full bimbo rn, because everything is written with such gorgeous detail, its so visually engaging and here I am like spending so much time imagining HE and his sweaty self. Good lord. Body hair. GHHHHHHH.

The reader is so mouthbreathingly horny hahaha just immediately wanting to do the nastiest things first thing in the morning, giving him his gross coffee concoction that he's not even nice about recieving but it's fine but he looks like a SNACK.

As always, his dialogue is so on point. I love how demeaning and degrading he is. So violently hot hahaha he's got no business being so fkn FINE and making assholery so sexy like what did u do to me jerk!! Something's not right! I'll save you from like rambling and rambling but the piggy line?? WOOF!!!! WOOOOOOOOFFFF!!!

Thank YOUUUU for letting the reader get a few mosquito bites in hahahaha. Slamming the door in his face was SEXY. YES!!! He's rubbing off on you!! Daddy should be so very proud! Honestly all of the kinks in this fic were so..... my shit this fic is like so fucking delicious aaaaaaaaaa. I love YUCKY!!!! Pulling his HAIR and this loser cums first? Hell fucking yeah finally some good fucking food, UGH. I know i'll read this fic over and over because right now im fkn BUZZING about it.

You never acknowledged these perfect minutes in the aftermath because you knew that would put them to an immediate end. His post-coital proximity was never for your benefit, and that was okay. You wound and unwound a lock of his hair around your finger, tugging on it sharply now and again, because he would only accept your sidelong affection if it came with a sting.

Okay this bit?? Oh my GOD. AAAAAA. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I can gush on and on and on about your characterization but this paragraph just GETS him in such a satisfying way like uGH thats it!! thats IT!!!! I can visualize this so well and I love the pacing of this whole fic what a fuckin roller coaster I am so so so in love with your writing. I kept selecting sentences to go off about but I'd be here for a thousand years dismantling everything sentence by sentence and gushing about it hahaha.

I'm So Dirty, Babe

Bo Sinclair x GN!Reader

This ain't perfect but by god I'm sick of looking at it!! This is a love story about two normal people and it's fine. Sike, this is fucknasty gross vile bullshit porn that grew legs and ran away. Some mornings, Bo gets up early to work out. You really like seeing him sweat, and he really likes making you suffer. Originally inspired by this post if you squint.

4.2k words. Established "relationship" with a GN!reader so far gone their legal name has been changed to Stockholm. Bo is an ass but also is catching feelings (don't tell him). Horrible toxic relationship dynamics. Penetrative rough sex. Predator/prey dynamics & chasing. Choking. Degradation. Biting. Daddy kink. Super duper blood kink. Excessive mention of sweat and spit and body hair. Threat of orgasm denial. Creampie. Reader is so so brainwashed and so down bad (the call is coming from inside the house).

You set an alarm the night before, right after he told you he’d be up early to work out.

You tried to tell yourself it wasn’t because of him. 6:30 AM was a perfectly reasonable time to wake up. Sure, the sun wasn’t up yet. And no, you didn’t have anything in particular to get done that early. And yes, fine, you knew exactly when he’d be wrapping up his workout because he was shockingly punctual, a creature of habit.

But it wasn’t because of him.

You brushed your teeth and fixed your hair because that’s what people do in the morning. You filled a travel mug with coffee and milk and dumped a heap of protein powder into it plus a tablespoon of sugar because that’s how he liked it. You knew that’s how he liked it because your health and happiness hinged on keeping him content and for no other reason at all.

The assemblage of dirty glasses on the counter rattled with the sheer volume of bass pounding in the garage. You thought you could make out the hoarse vocals of Rob Zombie through the mud room door. Some days, he came out of his workout flush with endorphins and something akin to civil. Others, it was like the testosterone transmuted his blood to vinegar and he would burst through the door frothing at the mouth.

You told yourself you hoped for the former, and this was mostly true. But there was something about the latter – that sneer, the attitude that came with it. He hadn’t been nice to you in the beginning. He wasn’t exactly nice to you now. But you still felt…well. How you felt.

You knocked on the garage door even though you knew he couldn’t hear it, but as long as you tried, sometimes that was enough. Cautiously, you opened the door and ducked inside.

The garage was in no better condition than the rest of the house, the walls hemmed in by shelving and laden with dusty relics of the last fifty years. A car had not been housed in this space since before you were born. In the middle of the floor, a few mismatched squares of castoff carpet had been laid over the permanent oil stains in the concrete. A weight bench took up most of the space, along with a mismatched collection of dumbbells and a few other things.

Despite the chill weather outside, the air in here was warm and humid. The music was deafening in the small acoustic sinkhole, almost painful, but you knew better than to lay a finger on the boom box perched by the door. It was smaller than the one at the station, but it was one of the few things in the garage that was dust-free, and you knew it had been meticulously restored to functionality by hand time and time again. You could relate.

Bo was on his back in the middle of a bench press set and paid you absolutely no mind as you came in. With every lift his lip curled in a snarl. You took his focus as an opportunity to ogle him with abandon.

He was wearing sweatpants and a wifebeater with holes in the fabric. His triceps rolled with every press, stomach taut, feet planted wide. You had been reminded time and again he was stronger than he looked, and that came with effort. Even from where you stood you could see the tank top was soaked with sweat, the hair of his underarms damp and curly.

The final two reps were a struggle from which you could not look away. Arms quivering, he racked the barbell with a grunt and sat up, slumping forward with his elbows on his knees. His hair was plastered to his forehead, lips parted as he caught his breath. He lifted his head and spat on the ground and much to your chagrin, you felt a response in your jeans.

He growled some remark at you that was inaudible over the music. You jumped to attention, quit your staring as he rose to his feet and wheeled to face you. Face flushed and scowling, he stalked towards you and you stood your ground. Even after all this time, after everything, a thrill shot through your stomach when he came at you like that, fear and arousal inextricably linked.

You averted your gaze from his face and had the misfortune of landing your focus directly on the outline of his dick against his left thigh. You released a desperate puff of air and scrambled to recall how it felt to have self-respect.

The music cut with a punch of his finger and left a vacuum of silence in its wake. He was so close you could smell the testosterone coming off him in waves. He was still breathing hard. “Did you hear what I said?” he snapped.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Fuckin’ knock next time.”

“Okay, I will.” You handed him the coffee.

He eyed you distrustfully. “What’s this?”

“It’s your…protein coffee. Whatever you call it.” You could feel the heat radiating from his body, practically taste the salt on his skin when you inhaled through your mouth.

“Ain’t you helpful this mornin’.” He turned halfway away from you and took a swig from the thermos. You watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. It mattered to you – so much – that he approved of the concoction.

Without a word, he handed it back to you. The blood vessels in his arms were swollen and bulging and you had the fleeting thought that you’d like to trace them with your tongue. Then he reached past you, and you flinched in spite of yourself, and he caught it, and he smirked but didn’t say anything. He grabbed a hoodie off a hook just behind you and threw it over his shoulder.

“C’mon.”

The single careless word may as well have been a handwritten invitation embossed with glitter. You grabbed another jacket from the hook and tried not to follow too close behind him as he picked his way between the lawnmower and a credenza from the 60s and hauled the garage door open by hand.

The sound of rusty, reluctant metal startled the birds into silence. Bo loped down the drive, his breath pluming soft and white in the air. It was a mild winter as far as you were concerned, but it was winter nonetheless, and you shoved your free hand deep into the pocket of the jacket. It was his, of course, and it smelled like him. You told yourself you were burying your nose in the collar for warmth, that’s all.

You trailed four feet behind him, still struggling to pinpoint how he felt about you this morning. He stretched his arms up, bent them behind his head, and it pulled the hem of his wifebeater up to expose a strip of skin just above his waistband. Your eyes flicked back and forth between it and the back of his head. You wanted to bite him, bite and suck, hands on his hips, you on your knees –

“Gimme that.” He was reaching back for the thermos. You trotted up, the most obedient little show dog, and handed it to him. He took another sip and you smiled.

He thrust it back into your hands and now you hung by his side, taking a step and a half for every one of his. When he tugged the hoodie off his shoulder you scampered out of the way so he had room to pull it on. He tossed his head, flicking sweat in the other direction, and pushed his hair back. You handed him the thermos; he drank and handed it back; it was slick under your fingers.

You were pathetic.

Together you strolled down Main Street. He paid you no mind, scanning the deadeyed homes and storefronts for any change, any overnight imperfection. Everything always looked the same to you, but you figured after decades spent staring at the same town he probably knew how many shingles were on every last goddamn roof. You could respect that, admire it even. It proved he had the capacity to care for things. Perhaps you held that a little too close to your heart.

He paused in front of one of the houses near the end of the road and exhaled sharply through his nose, hands on his hips, shaking his head. You squinted slightly as you examined the facade, searching for whatever it was he could see.

“Fuckin’ again,” he muttered. “Every year.”

You furrowed your brow. The house looked the same as it ever did to you.

“Gonna take me all mornin’ to fix that.”

Bemused, you nodded obediently and offered him the thermos like a trained monkey. He gulped the rest of it down and thrust it back into your grasp. For the first time all morning, he looked directly at you. You squared your shoulders to bear the weight of his stare and tried to keep your eyes off his lips. You failed; you were always failing. His jaw was dark with morning stubble.

“You’re up early,” he remarked like he had only just noticed you. “Got somethin’ to do with yourself for once?”

You shrugged noncommittally. You kept busy most days, what with the state of abject horror the house was usually in, but that was none of his concern. “Nothing special. Just…wanted to make you coffee.”

He made a sound of derision. “Well ain’t you a saint.”

You rubbed your thumb against the thermos. “How was your workout?”

Bo shot you the sort of look most people reserved for unexpected insects in their living space. “Life-changin’.” He scratched a spot on his chest.

You stared at the patch of hair visible above his neckline for half a second too long, and when you looked back up he was laser focused on you. “That’s good,” you said lamely.

He cocked his eyebrow. You felt spotted, like a small creature in a field. You felt seen. Something changed, something subtle in his expression that you couldn’t name but could sense like a shift in the wind. “Coulda used a little cardio.” He moved half a step towards you. “Think you could help me with that, sugar?”

You chewed on your lip, then nodded. He smiled.

“Swell. Put that down.”

You bent slowly, eyes on him, and set the thermos on the concrete with a soft tink.

“Stand back up, baby, c’mon. I can’t do all the thinkin’ for you.”

You stood, clenching and unclenching your cold fingers, waiting. Always waiting. He regarded you for a moment with a curious look on his face, the way you might consider a stranger in the mall you thought you recognized from somewhere.

And then his expression went blank the way a cloud passes over the sun, and your blood burned like ice, and he levelled a glare at your head like a gun and said, “G’on. Run.”

You were off before the mist from his mouth could dissipate. It had been a while since you played this game. It was a good one, with simple rules. And really, in the end, you both won.

You risked a glance over your shoulder and saw he hadn’t moved yet. He was feeling generous apparently; you both knew he was faster than you. Already you were out of breath, the frigid air lacerating your throat and lungs. Maybe you needed some cardio too, you thought absently.

You kicked up your heels and darted around the corner, wanting to make him work for it. You liked to watch him work.

Once upon a time, you would’ve run for the highway. You even used to believe you could make it. You never got close, not once. On this mundane morning, the thought didn’t even cross your mind.

You couldn’t keep up the pace for long and you slowed at an intersection. In your mind you tried to conjure up your faulty map of Ambrose proper – should you turn left? – but the sound of pounding footfalls behind you tore the map to shreds and you bolted.

He caught up to you quickly. You were just ahead of him, you could feel it, hear the emphysemal rasp of his panting. The seconds until he had you were dropping like flies. Too easy. It was too easy.

In a move that surprised you both, you skidded to a stop, lurched to the side, and hopped over the hedgerow of the little bungalow to your left. You were shocked you made it. He was shocked you even tried.

Your small victory was short-lived as your sneakers slipped on the frosty grass and you went down hard, landing directly in the half-thawed patch of mud at the mouth of the rain gutter and the foot of the porch.

Bo coughed out a bonechilling amalgam of a laugh, a snarl, and a curse. You would’ve laughed too, had you not been halfway certain you were about to die. Scrambling to your feet, you just managed to dodge his grasp and wheeled off-balance up the porch steps.

To your relief, the door was unlocked and you darted inside. To your horror, it had no lock. You leaned all your weight against the door, palms stinging, teeth rattling as he flung his weight against it.

“Shit, little piggy, you’re really in for it now.”

A thrill of fear shot right through you. You hoped so. Fuck, you really did.

Wildly you searched for your next move, but you’d never been in this house before and couldn’t begin to guess the layout. An exit did not miraculously present itself to you. He didn’t like it if you just gave up.

But he did like a fight.

Acting on instinct, you stepped to the side. Bo burst through the door, flinging it wide – and you caught it and slammed it right back into his face.

He yelped, and then he roared, yanking the door from your grip and slamming it shut as he grabbed you by the throat and hauled you into the living room. Blood streamed from his nose and he flung you on your back onto the couch.

“You wanna play, darlin’? We can fuckin’ play!”

He was on you with his full weight in seconds, one hand wrapped around your jaw, the other scrabbling at your fly. You gasped as his wrist crushed your windpipe, whimpered and clutched at his forearm, bucked your hips in a half-assed attempt to throw him off. Thinly veiled excitement was pounding in your chest, anticipation pooling in your mouth.

He saw right through you. He always did. “Look at you,” Bo sneered, his teeth smeared red. “Fuckin’ starry-eyed. You’re some kinda somethin’, ain’tcha.”

“I’m sorry,” you wheezed.

He thrust his hand into your underwear and you whined. “You ain’t sorry,” he said. “Don’t lie to me.”

You ground up into his fingers, frantic with need. “Please...please please ple – “

He smashed his lips into yours and your mouth opened eagerly to receive him, tongue awash with the taste of his blood and spit and coffee. You were making such helpless sounds, writhing as he groped at your sex, dragging your dirty nails across his skin as you pushed down the waistband of his sweats.

He was hard; he was huge. He had the prettiest dick you’d ever seen. You reached for him and he slapped your hand away with force. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.” He pushed his fingers into your mouth and hooked them around your bottom teeth, pulling your head and forcing your gaze. “Watch.”

He wrapped his free hand around the base of his shaft and rubbed your arousal along the length of his cock, squeezing a lopsided bead of precum from the tip. You moaned and he flashed you a smirk. “Y’want it?”

“Uh-huh,” you gargled around his fingers.

“Y’think you deserve it?”

“Uh-uh.” You managed a miniscule shake of your head.

“That’s right.” He pulled his fingers out of your mouth and slid them into your desperate hole. You keened, back arching off the couch. “Since I’m so sweet I’m gonna give it to ya anyway. Ain’t I sweet?”

You nodded like your life depended on it.

Breathing wetly, he snorked in the back of his throat and spat a wad of blood and phlegm on the mint green carpet, and then fixed his piercing gaze back on you. He pressed the head of his cock against your entrance and your breath hitched in your throat.

In a brief moment of near sanity, you wondered if maybe you were a lost cause even before you met him. Maybe you had always had a grit to your soul. Maybe you’d always been a little bit dirty.

And then he was seizing your hips and forcing himself into you, brutal, all the way all at once, and you had the final fleeting thought before your brain fuzzed blank that it didn’t matter how you used to be, because these days you were his, and you were filthy.

Your body clutched at him, greedy and grateful, as he slid into place. Sheathed deep inside you, he stifled a groan, sucking the blood off his lips. He gripped the back of your thighs and pressed your knees to your chest, bracing himself unsteadily on the couch cushion and jackhammering into you with a vengeance.

Your mouth fell open and he shoved your legs further apart so he could deliver another crushing kiss, pulling hard on your bottom lip. You clawed at the swell of his biceps, toes curled, heart racing.

“God, you’re such a fuckin’ slut, huh? Beggin’ for it all mornin’ like a bitch in heat.” You nodded feverishly, made some sound in the affirmative. “Fuckin’ shameless. You like bein’ a slut for me?”

“Yes,” you mewled, and you meant it.

Gasping, you clawed your fingers through his sweaty curls, gripping, twisting. You wanted to hold him. You wanted to make it hurt. You yanked him back to your lips, smothering a grin when his busted nose hit your cheekbone and he grunted, low and irritated in the back of his throat, and dug his fingers into the soft flesh of your side.

This was the only time your relationship approached anything resembling fairness, when he tried his best to claim everything you had and you fought to give it to him faster than he could take it. Because if you gave him enough, sometimes, he gave you a little back.

You lapped at the roof of his mouth like a starving creature. You were so hungry for him all the time with an ache like you’d never known. It was as if you’d inherited the hollow space inside him, like he’d infected you with emptiness. The only remedy available to you was more of him, all of him, as much as he would surrender. Maybe someday it would be sufficient. Maybe if you could consume enough of him, he’d be yours.

Bo pushed your face away and raked his teeth along the flesh of your neck, biting and sucking. Your legs were quivering, your hole clenching helplessly against the punishing saw of his hips. The smell of his sweat was thick in your nostrils. His tongue slid up the side of your throat to your earlobe and one hand snaked down between your bodies to paw at your aching sex. Ribbons of electricity rippled through your core. A cry like a lonesome animal tore from your throat and you squeezed his waist between your thighs.

“You gonna cum?” he panted, almost taunting.

“N-no,” you whispered. Not yet. Too soon. He might not even let you since you made him bleed.

“No?” You could see his pulse thrumming fast in his neck. “You sure about that?”

He knew your body so well, too well. It was getting harder to focus by the second, sparks shooting under your skin. “Can – can I?” You met his eyes. His pupils were blown, his expression almost manic. “Please, Daddy?”

His lip curled in what could’ve been a smile or a sneer, cracking the veneer of dried blood on his cheek. “You been bad, baby.”

“I’m – I know.” The friction of his fingers was borderline painful, scratching some deep and desperate itch that set your nerves on fire. Not yet.

“Someone oughta punish you, huh?” he said through gritted teeth. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, knew he was close. Knew he wanted it as bad as you did. “Oughta leave you – fuckin’ – miserable.”

You splayed your hands on his chest in supplication. You were dancing on the edge, dangling over it, scrabbling for a few more seconds. “I know, Daddy, but I – I can be good. Please let me be good.”

You felt the panicked squeezing of your walls around his cock and you could tell he felt it too by the way his breath dead-ended in his throat, the half-crazed look on his face.

“I want to be good for you, please let me cum for you, please, I want – “

His whole frame shuddered and you had him. With immense satisfaction, you watched his eyes roll back, watched him come apart on top of you, and in that moment he belonged to you. You came hard, absolute euphoria, every last inch of you a spitting, crackling livewire.

For the moment, you were sated.

Bo lowered his body flush to yours on trembling arms. He pressed his forehead to your sternum, breathing hard and hot against your skin. You never acknowledged these perfect minutes in the aftermath because you knew that would put them to an immediate end. His post-coital proximity was never for your benefit, and that was okay. You wound and unwound a lock of his hair around your finger, tugging on it sharply now and again, because he would only accept your sidelong affection if it came with a sting.

You could do that for him. It wouldn’t be the hardest thing.

He lifted his head at last and scrutinized you. Dried blood flaked off the bottom half of his face and the bridge of his nose was red and swollen. His hair stood up in all directions. “You’re a mess, darlin’,” he said flatly.

You didn’t doubt it. You could feel his spend drying between your legs. When you licked your lips you tasted copper.

Bo stood up slowly, grimacing at the change of pressure in his head and sniffing gingerly to clear his nose. He heeled off his sneakers and kicked off his sweatpants, then made his way across the room towards the stairs, shrugging off his hoodie, stripping his wifebeater over his head, and dropping both to the floor. Your eyes tracked slow and appreciative down the length of his body.

“Don’t be long,” he said over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs. “Can’t let you back in the house lookin’ like that.”

You let out a sigh of something akin to contentment and listened to the creak of his footsteps across the ceiling. The groan of water through bedraggled pipes kicked up soon after.

Carefully you peeled yourself off the couch and stood on wobbly legs, the warm wet trickle of triumph seeping down your thighs. You shed your clothes in a breadcrumb trail across the carpet, casting a glance at the wide-open windows. Even if there had been a soul in town to see you, you had no shame to offer anymore.

You hauled yourself up the stairs, taking in the faded photographs still mounted on the walls, the ancient and odorless bowl of potpourri on a small table in the hallway. The air was years old, stale and musty. It was a quaint, cozy little house underneath all the dust. You peeked into a bedroom with windows draped in lace curtains. The bedclothes were marred with a rust-colored stain as big as you. You eased the door almost all the way shut and moved on.

The sound of the shower came from the room at the end of the hall. You pushed the door open and crept into a steam-filled bathroom tiled green and white. The slap of water rolling off his body to smack the floor of the tub was loud in the tiny space. There was a framed cross stitch on the wall of a goose and three goslings. You stared at the shower curtain for a moment before turning to the vanity.

With a squeak, you wiped the fog from the mirror and looked at yourself. He was right, you were a mess. Your cheeks were smudged with his blood, lips puffy, hair disheveled, throat a mosaic of bruises and hickies. You examined your hands, palms scraped up and scuffed with dirt. His skin was under your nails. You stank of sweat and sex.

Someone had told you once that love left a mark.

“You comin’ in?”

You smiled at your reflection. Were you happy? You might be happy.

“Yeah.”

You slipped into the shower and his begrudging embrace.

#YEAHHH BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #poki fic recs #this is so nasty hot its all the yucky things i adore I cannot stop gushing about this!

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ladyartemesia · 4 years ago

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Since I'm in love with your writings and your taste in reading too. I know that your favorite is Brother's best friend or Best friend's brother, I would like for you to recommend me some of them please ❤️❤️🙏

꧁Brother’s Best Friend꧂

Clandestine by @junghelioseok is fantastic. Jeon Jungkook is the best friend of the reader’s slightly younger brother. He’s sexy and charismatic and DEFINITELY knows what he wants. The growth of his (clandestine) connection with the reader is utterly delicious. This one made me laugh and swoon.

Guarded by @xjoonchildx is basically legendary in my book. The lady in this story is not only Hoseok’s best friend’s sister—she is also his BOSS’s sister and by boss I mean mafia. This is the first installment in Ana’s amazing Rap Line Mafia Universe and it delivers on every level. Hoseok is tasked with protecting the boss’s sister after she is being threatened by sinister forces unknown and sparks fly.

Plums and Melons by @winetae is THAT FIC. The fic I just daydream about sometimes. It’s a fic about two people caught hard in eachother’s gravity. It’s so sexy and cerebral and the main characters are so hot. Jimin is just a guy trying to live his life, but whatever is brewing between him and his best friend’s sister is driving him insane. He wants to be a good guy, but she just isn’t playing fair.

Are You Sure? by @cutechim is such a swoon-worthy and touching piece of wonderful. I tell you I was MOVED. This is beautiful and emotional and EXTREMELY satisfying. Taehyung’s best friend has a sister who he has always secretly adored. When she comes to him and asks for some intimate experience, he isn’t strong enough to say no—not when she’s everything he ever wanted.

Drivers License and Detour by @gyukult is sweet and tender and just a fantastic coming of age story. The reader has been in love with her brother’s best friend, Park Jimin, for almost all of her youth... but what is going on in his head?It’s a tender story that really warms the heart. AND I am happy there is more coming. I would read about these two all day. She published the second part and oh my gosh it’s so incredibly perfect I could scream. This was just such a beautiful journey every step of the way.

Milestone by @1kook is probably one of the first brother’s best friend BTS fics I read and it is amazing. I adore it so much. Because Jungkook is your brother’s best friend he is there for every milestone in your life. But you’ve both grown up now and neither of you are kids anymore. It’s hot. Like really hot. Dialogue and set up are so sharp and fast paced I really loved every second.

Young God by @njssi is scorching hot smut with complicated feelings and warm revelations. You think it’s going somewhere and then it goes somewhere else and honestly it is so awesome the whole time. Jungkook was always your brother’s sweet little friend, but he’s returned determined to show you that he is all grown up.

Tease by @caiuscassiuss floored me. I loved it so much! I spent the whole story just squealing happily about everything. This story has it all. It’s scorching hot. It’s enemies-to-lovers. It’s Taehyung. Jungkook’s sister and Kim Taehyung do not get along AT all—so she decides to bring him to his knees by making him desperate for her. It’s a wild and completely awesome ride.

Wasabi by @ironicarmy is a classic. Hobi is a bad boy that Namjoon vehemently refuses to let near his precious baby sister. But love is too strong a force and soon Hobi and the clever object of his desire decide that some things are worth fighting for. It’s a really sweet story of facing challenges and relying on the people you love. Warm and fuzzy feelings abound, but it’s also super hot.

Forbidden by @btssmutgalore is a masterwork blueprint for this trope. Hobi is a carefree player who falls brutally for Taehyung’s sister. They two of them eventually give in to a VERY steamy series of secret encounters and feelings get very involved. This is hot, suspenseful, and emotionally satisfying. Excellent characterizations as well.

Prohibido by @personasintro is an office AU with a twist. Namjoon is not only her brother’s best friend, he is also her boss and the two of them have incredible chemistry. Watching them pretend that they’re not insanely attracted to each other is so endearing and hot. Reader is convinced her feelings are one-sided. It’s lovely and fun. Definitely a slow burn, but worth it.

Strawberry Kisses by @kimnjss is a fic that I devoured in one sitting and then re-read again immediately. Jeon Jungkook is a player who matches with a girl on a dating app and has no idea she is the sister of his revered mentor and close friend, Min Yoongi. I laughed. I cried. I GASPED OUT LOUD a bunch. It was a whole thing. This is a hybrid social media/written AU and it’s pretty much perfect.

Tempestuous by @ppersonna is so special to me because it was written at the very beginning of my friendship with Lindy. She was looking for requests and I was quick to request my favorite trope. Lindy is bae now and this fic she wrote is marvelous. You are forced to spend the weekend in the same house with your sexy arch-rival Taehyung who just so happens to be your brother’s best friend. Naturally snarky hotness ensues.

Off Limits @floralseokjin is basically a famous entry when it comes to this trope. It’s a Jin fic and Miss Jordan writes EXQUISITE Jin characterizations. There is a hint of mistaken (or unknown) identity in this one which makes it even more fun. Sparks fly between you and a devilishly charming Kim Seokjin at a party. You don’t find out until later who he really is—and why he’s off limits.

And finally I’ll recommend my own Brother’s Best Friend fic All I Want for Christmas is You featuring a charming Taehyung who falls for Jimin’s sister. Jimin basically blackmails his best friend into escorting his sister to several holiday galas. Tae and Jimin’s sister have never gotten along, but they soon discover (through multiple pranks and mishaps) that love (and desire) are out of their control.

Not Your Fairytale by @yeojaa is incredibly sweet and tender. Erin really does emotion so well and her Yoongi characterization is honestly so nuanced and brilliant. This story is about a girl who had her heart broken and instead of canceling the cake tasting she scheduled with her philandering ex-fiancé, she wrangles the tsundere best friend of her brother to pretend to be him.

Brother’s Best Friend by @bts-hyperfixation is a short and sweet moment between two people who have been fighting their attraction for each other. It is so hot and delicious I tell you. You’re in trouble and the person you call is probably the person you shouldn’t—but you aren’t the only one willing to take a risk tonight.

Off Limits by @kaddiiction will break your heart and put it back together again. This one was recommended to me by a reader and I cannot thank them enough. It is fantastic. Jimin is a player but he crosses the line when he begins a liaison with his best friend’s sister. Still there is far more to this situation—and Jimin—than meets the eye.

꧁Best Friend’s Brother꧂

Orectic by @gimmesumsuga is one of my favorite fics of all time. It is a hybrid fic where the reader is a cat hybrid and Hoseok is the brother of her best friend who comes to stay with her while her bestie is away... It is so tender yet SO HOT. I’m telling you I cannot even keep count of how many times I have read it.

Theophany by @ilikemesometaetaes was a JOURNEY. It made me so emotional. Like the story centers around art a lot, but let me tell you, this fic IS art. Jimin is just the man of my whole dreams in this piece as the brother of a former best friend with an irresistible allure. It is a coming of age story with the most beautiful twist. AND THE LOVE SCENE—oh my gosh I screamed it was so good. This story is just so so good.

Run by @neonlights92 is Jungkook’s story in the mafia universe I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH. You don’t have to read the whole series to understand it (BUT YOU SHOULD). This is best friend’s brother meets arranged marriage and honestly it’s fantastic. Jungkook doesn’t do love and affection and being forced into an arranged marriage with his sister’s friend who has always had a crush on him is just a blow to his freedom... or is she? GAH! This story—like all the stories in this universe—is superb.

The Magic to Happiness by @readyplayerhobi is a best friend’s brother meets teachers AU meets Hogwarts AU. Now... all of those are top tier tropes so finding them together is like winning the lottery. Hobi was once just a skinny kid who had obvious heart eyes for you (his sister’s best friend) but now he’s tall and confident and really attractive. The magic of this story is evident in every word of the sweet relationship that blooms between these two.

Problem with You by @monvante is so sweet and kind of hilarious. I giggled so much! Jungkook is your best friend’s brother and he is kind of too perfect and too handsome and he’s always around and you hate him and he hates you... Right? When you cross paths with the infuriating Jeon Jungkook at your best friend’s wedding, you discover that you may have been wrong about a great many things.

Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine by @ktheist is so so SO fabulous. I was obsessed with this (now complete) series from the very first installment. You and Tae are besties who have know each other since you were little kids, but lately Tae’s older brother Jin has been lookin mighty fine. Just how far can you push him till he breaks. And if he breaks.... what then?

This list is BY NO MEANS exhaustive. I just used it to compile some of my FAVORITES in this particular trope.

➪ IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND FICS I SHOULD CHECK OUT PLEASE COMMENT (seriously please I love this trope so much) AND I WILL ADD THEM TO THIS LIST.

➪ Newer Additions are in PINK!

➪ Newest Additions are in BLUE

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sitp-recs · 2 years ago

Text

Hidden Gems by cupiscent

I’ve been a bit quiet lately but I’m finally back with more treats! Cupiscent is a brilliant author who doesn’t get enough credit for the amazing fics she’s written in the 00s. It’s easy to see how genius she is by this profile statement alone: “Young enough to not care that I'm old enough to know better.” Her writing is sharp with tension, poignant, lush, intriguing with a very adult feel to it and such beautiful prose it makes me go back and reread multiple quotes so I can bask in the feels once again. If you ask me for authors who are able to create specific and memorable atmospheres solely through perfectly chosen and placed words, Cupiscent would definitely be among my top 5.

She only has a couple of - fantastic - Drarry fics but I strongly encourage you to explore those other ships, and even her G stuff, because they all deliver a top notch reading experience. I’ve revisited my personal fave, the breathtaking Unfinished Business, more times that I could count, and its quiet and bittersweet longing still hits me right in the feels every time, it’s both beautiful and haunting. Here’s a short selection of perfect gems, now excuse me cause I’m off to read her LoTR RPF collection 👀

Drarry

Paper Dolls (2006, M, 5k) - fabulous war AU with conflicted spy!Draco and the intense urgency of getting together as hell breaks loose. This is raw and sharp and atmospheric with a perfect open ending.

In the final year of the War, Draco gets a letter, makes a choice and pays the price. (Non-canon war treatment.)

Unfinished Business (2003, E, 20k) - my all-time favorite reunion fic with a SUPERB morally grey Draco, a kind and fascinating Harry, a badass Ginny and delicious UST! I’ve read this fic more times than I care to admit and the edgy atmosphere + world building packed in here never fails to amaze me. If you have to choose only one fic to read today, go with this one.

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late. Read my rec here.

Rare pairs

Diversion Therapy (2007, E, 1k) - the hottest Draco/Blaise I’ve ever read, this fic immediately pulled me into this ship and I’m completely obsessed with sex god! Blaise, jfc 🔥

There's really only one reason Draco sleeps with Blaise.

Reprehensible (2005, M, 4.5k) - sexy Cedric/Pansy with Cedric/Cho background, unusual ship but I found the writing very compelling! Cw: underage, infidelity

Being a Champion is stressful; Cedric just wants a girl who puts out. It's totally that simple.

Bare Naked (2005, E, 7.6k) - never thought I’d read a Draco/Ginny but it’s impossible to resist the pull of two fascinating characters when written so well. Delicious atmosphere, captivating dialogue, stripper!Ginny!

Aurors-in-training get paid shit and Ginny wants her independence. Which wouldn't be a problem for Draco if Blaise didn't have a fetish for naked Muggles.

#hidden gems s2 #day 7

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pynkhues · 3 years ago

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🔥 fav brio fic one shots

I feel like a lot of my favourites are pretty popular, and that I've done a lot of rec lists in my fic recs tag, so to make it a little different, I thought I'd limit it to one-shots I love that I also think are super underrated. To give that a sort of yardstick, I've kept this to fics with under 100 kudos on ao3.

I've popped a whole bunch under the cut. :-)

Silent Wars by alittlespy. Beth x Rio. <1k words. Set during s2.

God, this fic is just sexy. It's little glimpses of their power plays over the months that they know each other, and every sentence seems to crackle. I love it a lot.

Leftovers by deinvati Beth x Rio. 2k words. Set during s1.

This is such a rich fic, centred on Beth's feelings of neglect in her marriage and the new charge and attention she gets from Rio. There's some really great banter in it and a push-pull that feels familiar and fresh all at once. Just a great little fic.

Broken Facade by brokensatellites / @bensonstablers Beth x Rio. 2k words. Set during 4.06.

A sexy, angsty look at what was going through Rio's head when he was with Beth in his grandmother's study. It's evocative and emotionally rich and leaves you wanting more.

I See the Rainbow and the Darkness at the Same Time by dragontortuga / @dragonturtle Beth x Rio. 4k words. Set over s1-s4.

I’m a sucker for a five/six/seven things fic, especially when they circle themes or ideas instead of acts, and this one embodies that so well, being based around seven times Beth thinks about Rio's name. The author does a wonderful job of weaving through canon moments, and really exploring Beth's evolving feelings. It's a really lovely fic!

I, You, He by FakePlastikTrees / @nakedmonkey Beth x Rhea. Beth x Rio. 3k words. Set between s2 and s3.

Any fic where Beth is bi is a winner to me, haha, but especially one that explores the twisted sort of intimacy Beth found in Rhea. The author always has a wonderful bounce to her fics, and really great dialogue, and both are on show here. Magic!

Found My Thrill by s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe Beth x Rio (x Turner, kinda). 2k words. Set during s1.

Outsider opinion fics are seriously one of my favourite things in the world, and I especially love when they're so well done. The Turner voice here is so fun and rich and emotionally dynamic, and the way the author uses it to explore Turner's burgeoning obsession with both Beth and Rio is perfect.

Hate, Love and the Steps Between by @mamey2422 Beth x Rio. <1k words. Set during s3.

We don't have enough s3 fics in this fandom, especially ones that explore the complicated shifts in Beth and Rio's relationship. There's this really great sense of interiority in this fic that the author the author captures, and it makes this short little fic feel big.

I Want to Play the Game by prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania Rio x Turner, background Beth x Rio. <1k words. Set between s2 and s3.

This angsty little fic where Turner watches Rio jerk off while he has him recovering and snitching in the hotel lives rent free in my head. It perfectly balances the fucked up potential of Rio x Turner and I just love it a lot.

Sure am Using You by aniara Rio x OC. Beth x Rio. 2k words. Set during s1.

I talk about this fic all the time, and I still can't believe other people aren't obsessed with it, haha. As you can probably tell from this list already, I'm just super into it when the dynamic between two characters bleeds over into other relationships or becomes a point of curiousity. This fic does that so well, as Rio's casual hookup starts to realise he's got someone new in his life, and how their hookups start to become informed by that. Love it.

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

#beth x rio #gg fic #fic recs #nbc good girls #welcome to my ama #honest opinion meme

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minkkumaz · 1 year ago

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my love omg :(( i am literally swooning at the way you wrote all of this. the language you used was beyond beautiful and so descriptive i felt so immersed it's crazy omg. the paragraphs in the beginning before the dialogue made me frown so hard because of how thought out they were.

'even if the unknown tore you apart, everything within your reach was more than enough.' do you hear me crying despite our hundreds of miles in distance, because UGH. i can tell how hard you worked on this ml because i am definitely feeling every feeling you poured into this.

an extremely audible gasp left my lips when reader was walking towards the bench and saw DONGMIN in the flesh, right there. the fucking audacity this man has it's literally our bench… and oh my god the comparison from how reader was feeling to how you had previously described the atmosphere in the park. goodbye i will do a backfip off a cliff.

this new poser ass fucking bitchass girl better watch her back before i send nukes to her house and lace all her drinks with every drug imaginable. i am not sorry for her if she just so happens to drop dead and fucking die at my feet.

this is the kind of scenario where i should be mad at dongmin since technically it's not her fault but i am choosing anger while i read this so she can get a sorry taste of the fucking poison that min previously drugged me with.

but the whole conversation between min and reader brought genuine tears to my eyes. she's being so vulnerable to him and he's just staring at her like it's nothing?? remind me to never turn my back to a sexy mf because he will tear out my heart, followed by all of my organs, pull some bftd shit and then walk away like nothing even happened. i truly am feeling all the emotions right now because this bitch would get a right hook in the face if he tried to pull some silly shit like that.

and especially when he MOCKED reader, he's such a fucking asshole i'm getting more emotional in a sense that i'm pissed rather than sad. i want him so bad, and honestly this whole confession is hitting really personal to my toothpick era (fuck that punk ass bitch) but every word that comes out of his sorry mouth makes me want to punch a wall holy shit. 'we’re nothing now, and we were nothing before. you never said it was a problem, so what do you even want?' i'm very vividly picturing this scenario in my head and if THE han dongmin said this to me i genuinely would not be able to contain myself. i do not know how you come up with these lines because they're just so true to the situation; especially with him being lowkey toxic on his end. i'd ask who hurt you but we both know the man in question has been grinding his minecraft xp farms and playing piggy on roblox... anyways

'this seriously doesn't matter, so get over it. talk to me when you've come to your senses.' and this line.... i exploded right there. no more words, just tears and the remains of my heart juices splattered on the floor. from beginning to end the way you wrote this genuinely left me speechless. i genuinely cannot fathom how obsessed i am with how you executed this. you brought more out of the song in a way, and am literally just so AUUAHFGJKHB. the lyrics from the song are so sad, but theres sort of an up beat instrumental if that makes sense, and the way you described the atmosphere made it sound so calming; just for the scenario in question to hit you like a fucking truck.

i can confirm i am standing in the street waiting to get ran over by a car willingly. how you were able to villainize one of the most perfect men on this planet is beyond me, because while i only think good thoughts of min, this fic literally changed me. it honestly made me realize that everyone has a selfish side. and i feel like the sort of frustration you expressed through him (like how he was literally rolling his eyes so hard bc reader was RIGHTFULLY upset with him) was so.. real. like i don't know how else to explain it. and the way some of the sentences at the end were foreshadowed in the beginning.. like how you mentioned that he protected reader from their flame but also extinguished it in the end. get out that makes me so emotional i'm gonna slam a door on my fingers.

i can imagine how hard it would be for reader to try to embark on new relationships after this, having noted that her flame almost seems unable to be reignited. this is where we have a part 2 rebound fic idk though.. anyways i can put aside the fact that i gaslighted myself into thinking you were writing something else, because this just made me so happy and so depressed in a matter of minutes. i'm so hurt by dongmin and if i ever see that man in real life we are going to square up in a fucking boxing arena because he just made me so ANGRY. this was so lovely i'm so proud that you were able to get this done, especially since it's been.. lingering... for awhile. ahahaha laugh track no but seriously you did such a good job. (p.s the amount of cuss words in this reblog could probably fill a dictionary that is how seriously passionate i am about this)

linger

synopsis — being wrapped around dongmin’s finger had a price, one you never thought you’d have to pay.

pairing — situationship!han dongmin x gn!reader

genre — angst

warnings — cheating-ish, reader is somewhat ‘blinded by love’ (until they aren’t)

word count — 2.2k

notes — this was inspired by linger by the cranberries ! hope you guys enjoy <3 (i also listened to all too well 10 min version a majority of the time i wrote this so thats also a half-decent alternative)

the magnetic force that pulled you towards dongmin was inexplicable. there was something that both your heart and mind couldn’t resist—something that made him so alluring. it was as if all of the desire in the world was concentrated within the cells of his skin; even a mere brush against him harnessed the ability to spread his beautiful poison.

akin to most others, you couldn’t resist the temptation of beauty, even if it was tainted. once you’d pricked your finger on the venomous spindle, you fell into an everlasting slumber; one that took on the form of han dongmin.

your days resembled a night’s dream by virtue of dongmin’s new presence in your life. his aura exuded tranquility, and it seeped into your own. still moments were common with him, which led you to what you felt was a well-needed state of peace. you had thought that he symbolized what was constantly missing from your life: grounding.

in your eyes, he was nothing short of shade that shielded you from the blistering heat of a summer day. he reeled you back in when you’d float too high, forbidding you from suffocating in the fog of the clouds. he protected you from your own flame, preventing it from growing too big. he had provided a piece of himself that you never had yourself.

although he completed your puzzle, you had not the slightest idea of if you completed his. while all of your barriers were broken, his were built with the strongest steel. beyond the shield of his smile was something you couldn’t fathom, something out of your bounds.

even if the unknown tore you apart, everything within your reach was more than enough. he’d always put you back together with the kiss of his lips, and keep you whole with the intertwining of his fingers with yours. ignorance had brought you bliss, serving it to you on a gold-plated platter.

for all of everything intimate about you and dongmin, there wasn’t a label that you could plaster onto the two of you. there was nothing stronger than ‘we’ or ‘us’ that could define you. you teetered between ‘something’ and ‘nothing’, and you hoped for nothing more than to be something.

something was a craving that you couldn’t satisfy. something kept you up at night, and it occupied every one of your dreams, whether it be under the sun or moon. something was what carried you to the same park you and dongmin had met at, strolling in your lonesome on the same rock path two seasons later.

you were there in early spring, minutes before you and dongmin had met. you were walking through the path for a much different reason then, unaware of the meaning it’d hold months later.

you had found a wooden bench, putting your walk on pause as you sat down. you listened to the sounds of spring; the songs of birds, the march breeze, the families enjoying the day, and the crunch of the rocks becoming louder as someone had made their way towards you.

the moment you had turned your head to look was when your whole world shifted without you knowing. it was then that dongmin had made his very first appearance out of many in your life, and flashed you a very first smile in the same manner.

now, more than half a year later, it was you who was smiling at the memory. you stared down at the rock path, now covered in the warm autumn leaves. the sound of the crunch beneath your feet was different, each step leaving behind crushed leaves instead of dirtied rocks. everything had changed over the seasons, but the picture-perfect visual had stayed the same.

as you neared the bench you held close to your heart, your spirits lowered as you spotted a couple seated on it. they had their hands entwined, and you could hear them laughing together. you felt an envious pang in your chest, wanting nothing more than to be there with dongmin.

your steps became lighter, the couple’s conversation gradually becoming clearer. your face grew pale as you slowly came to a horrifying realization: you could recognize the boy’s voice anywhere—it was the same voice that belonged to the same boy you were there because of, the same voice that charmed you on that same bench months ago.

even with your silent begs for it to not be true, your heart dropped as his face came into view. dongmin was there, sat on the very bench your story had begun on, but with another girl; one that wasn’t—and would never be—you.

in that moment, your whole world shifted again, but you could feel it this time. you could feel your heart get crushed in the same way the leaves did, and you could feel your whole body go cold in the same way the autumn air was.

you felt heavy, heavy in a way that weighed you down both mentally and physically. your sorrow surpassed your feelings of envy by tenfold, and your feet felt too sunken into the ground to move. you weren’t nearly strong enough to, yet you were forced to carry the sudden baggage of everything that their simple gesture held.

that simple gesture that held the whole universe to you was so easily thrown out the window. what you knew now broke you, and what used to keep you whole was the culprit. knowledge brought you grief, serving it to you on a rusted platter.

everything felt all too familiar, and it scared you. it felt like a sick, twisted repeat of your meeting in march, and you didn’t know what you did to deserve it. you swore that you didn’t do anything to hurt him, yet he walked all over you as if you were the rock path.

“dongmin?” the vulnerability in your voice was clear, but his expression wasn’t.

dongmin sighed, and looked at the girl next to him. she was perplexed but compliant when dongmin slipped his hand out of hers, standing up. “i’ll be right back.”

as soon as he stood, he signaled you to follow him before walking off. you quickly began to trudge after him, guilt rising inside of you. you fiddled with your fingers, now regretting your confrontation.

dongmin led you far enough to where the bench was still in sight, but the abandoned girl wouldn’t be able to hear your conversation. as soon as he stopped, he turned to you, expression blank.

“what?” he stared you down, running a hand through his hair. when you didn’t say anything, he crossed his arms. “what’s the problem?”

you were just as dumbfounded as that girl; you thought it was clear as day why you were upset. “why—why were you holding her hand?”

he deadpanned. “i still don’t get it. why is that a problem?” his voice was painfully monotone, and for the first time, there was nothing beyond the surface.

he wasn’t upset with you, and that only pained you more. he didn’t care one bit, and that displayed just how little everything meant to him. even if he didn’t give it a second thought, you were still in so deep. even now, all you wanted was to be with him.

“because we’re a thing! we’re—” you stopped yourself short, realizing your mistake. you rewound to the sole reason you went to the park, the blood draining out of your face.

something; the one thing you never got from him. the one thing you endlessly longed for, but never came to fruition. your relationship with dongmin was the one bud that never blossomed back in spring, remaining dormant for months as if it were frozen in time.

the day you met dongmin was the closest to something you had ever gotten from him, and you were desperate to just feel as if you had it. you knew you’d never have it in your grasp, but even just the touch of your fingertips would be enough. instead of that, you were forced upon the truth; something that you never knew you’d face.

dongmin quirked an eyebrow. “we were never a thing,” he smiled at you, but it didn’t hold the same meaning it usually did. rather than comforting, it was mocking. for once, he resembled the dark surrounding the light; not the other way around.

all you could do was stand there, eyes slowly welling with tears. you hated that you were such a fool for him, almost as much as you hated how you were such a fool for the idea of being with him.

“god, don’t cry,” he sighed, throwing his head back lazily. “we’re nothing now, and we were nothing before. you never said it was a problem, so what do you even want?”

“you! i just want you!” your voice broke as your tears began to flow, emotions letting loose. “i always did, and i still do!”

“well, you have me—”

“obviously not, because if i did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now!” you were near yelling, but you couldn’t care less if people could hear. dongmin was the only problem you cared about, and you wanted to fight to solve him.

silence hung in the air, and everything felt frozen. the only thing that moved was dongmin’s chest, rising up then down while he breathed, each breath deeper than the last. even now, your moments with dongmin were still, except you felt all but at peace.

“this is insane—you’re insane,” dongmin breathed out, looking away so his face was against the breeze. “this seriously doesn’t matter, so get over it. talk to me when you’ve come to your senses.”

you and the silence broke all the same, rending further as he walked past you. his footsteps rang in your ears, and they were louder than anything you’ve ever heard. his departure was deafening, and your puddles of tears were blinding.

you felt suffocated, more by the loss of dongmin than the loss of your senses. he was everything to you, and you lost him over something. you were as upset at yourself as you were at him; you wondered how you could be so mindless. you thought nothing could go wrong, but in the end, everything did.

everything you couldn’t fathom about dongmin didn’t exist. every barrier he had built was translucent, and beyond it was nothing. every smile he gave you didn’t mean anything, since everything behind it was nothing. the previously unknown was nothing, because that was what you truly meant to him.

he ripped a chunk out of you that you’d never get back, leaving it to be nothing. nothing was what was left of your heart; what once beat was broken by the boy it thrived for. nothing would be a taunt; a constant reminder that that was what you were to dongmin all along.

in reality, he was nothing short of the one rain cloud on a perfectly sunny day. he cut your wings, forbidding you from leaving the ground he cursed. he extinguished your flame, making it nearly impossible to reignite it. the piece of himself he provided to you before was now a parasite, intoxicating you from the inside out.

even in your sorrow-drunk daze, you knew that you had woken up from the dream that was too good to be. you escaped the everlasting slumber, and the spell was finally broken. although, your cure wasn’t a fairytale’s true love’s kiss; it was something of the opposite nature.

dongmin’s ‘beautiful’ poison had finally caught up to you, and it was less pretty than you’d thought it was. even so, you still couldn’t resist the temptation, even if he was irreversibly tainted. you wished for just one more look at your nightmare disguised as a daydream, so you made it come true.

you turned around, and your tear-blurred eyes trained on dongmin like it was a second nature. as if it were a third, you focused on his hand, intertwined with another. you didn’t have to question who it was, as the answer came as a fourth. you could almost ignore the feeling of your heart break at the thought, as it’d broken enough times for it to be a first nature.

you felt all but wanted, and in its place was the burning pain of feeling used. beyond your pain was everything that you couldn’t get rid of, including dongmin’s strong presence in your heart. you were still wrapped around his finger, despite the scars you’d always have to carry because of him. you knew that—even though there was nothing left—something would always linger.

#ₓ˚. ୭ fic reccomendations #jordan woonhakist smith i am in love with you #please marry me and write me a fanfic in our wedding vows #you only have 2 written works out but you NEVER miss #i'm not gonna stop bothering you about this for like the rest of my life #there are an immense amount of tears leaving my eye sockets

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berena-cpr · 3 years ago

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Unfinished Masterpieces - Fic Rec List

Remember the WIP on ao3 you can’t let go? The one that resonated with you? The one that you’d give anything to know how it ends?

While the Berena Creative Project Resuscitation event is all about starting to work again on projects sitting in our draft folders, life can get in the way of finishing a project for a hundred reasons.

These works, posted, but still a few chapters short of ending, are loved though and with this list we’d like to share the love for the unfinished masterpieces one can find in the Berena tag on ao3.

Given the high response we had when we asked to tell us about your favourite WIPs, you’ll find the list under the cut:

Anything Else to Declare? - LittleMissO

“I've personally had sleeping issues since I read LittleMissO's Anything Else to Declare because yeah, I'm still there, breath held and heart pounding like crazy after the most delicious slow burn, and pining, and that outrageously flirtatious conversation over a whiskey.”

that line between your heart and mine - ktlsyrtis

“it is just plain hot but also I love the idea of them writing letters to each other and I also love the exploration of what their relationship might be like with Bernie still being in the RAMC.”

you disappear like your cigarette smoke (now the taste of your kiss is all that remains) - bonnissance

“A wonderful, emotional angst filled fic, looking at how Bernie’s life might still have progressed after Serena left. I loved how it showed her testing her own boundaries to see if it was possible to find another relationship with someone else and when she found that wasn’t something she could do, she accepted it and found other ways to be happy without Serena. I reread it fairly often because although unfinished it doesn’t ever seem incomplete. But the last word “Serena” always leaves me full of a hope that I would dearly love to have fulfilled.”

Secrets in the Dark - Wonko

“I’d love to see this continued!”

For a Good Time Call - Regency

“Young Serena using that pure sex voice of hers to make a little extra as a phone sex operative, and young nervous Bernie taking the first tentative steps in exploring her sexuality. Who better than Serena to help her figure things out? The premise of the fic is ingenious, the writing amazing, the dialogue just outstanding. Hot, sexy, soft and full of compassion and feels. I would sell a kidney to read the next chapter to this – Bernie and Serena meeting years later and recognising each other’s voices.”

you're the only one I never looked for - gutsandglitter

“Never expected I'd enjoy a Baby Boom AU, but I love this fic. Serena hanging out in the country feeling extremely overwhelmed and constantly running into this weird tall, awkward woman named Bernie is a mood. I will forever hold out hope for an update so that I can someday read about them having lots of sex (after an appropriate amount of angst, miscommunication, and unexpected grocery store encounters, of course).”

Things Kayryn doesn't write - Kayryn

“So they’re not exactly unfinished, because they are complete, beautifully crafted, amazingly inventive, head canons, but they’re not completed fic’s so I’m counting them. I actually think that’s one of the lovely things about them, there’s a full story in there but enough space in them to bring your own imagination to the details. The fact that every head canon is spot on and you can completely image it happening is the icing on the cake, and the perfect characterisation is the cherry on top. Canon could have taken lessons from from Kayryn”

I Want to be Your Fantasy (Maybe You Could Be Mine) - Regency

“I just love the concept and the first chapter just pulled me in and I so very much want to know what happens next.”

Notting Hill - Bat_and_Breakfast

“All the “Rom Com idiots in love but they don’t know it miscommunication capers” re-envisaged for Berena you say? Sign me up! I love the way the plot of Notting Hill is absolutely recognisable, but never at the expense of Bernie and Serena’s characters. Everything they do, their responses, the dialogue, is so them. And the cleverly cast Holby regulars as supporting stars - genius. It’s an absolute triumph of transformative work. It’s wonderfully and engagingly written. If you’ve ever got sucked into watching “just a bit” of rom com and found you’ve just lost a couple of hours of your life - this fic does the same thing.”

Follow Me There - troiing

“Full disclosure: I’ve never watched Sanctuary and I know nothing about the characters. But this crossover fic is so good, that it doesn’t even matter.”

hold me closer (tiny dancer) - serenacampbell

“I don’t know why I’m so attached to that fic, but I am. I love the premise of a slow burn fic where the characters still get to do sexy things during the awkward slow burn oblivious period. It’s like the best of both worlds.”

Machu Pechinku - Jrnsaxa

“Forget France and Nepal, what if Serena spent her sabbatical in Peru? The setting in this is beautifully vivid, as is the the delicate ways in which Serena and Bernie start to reconnect after Elinor.”

Hello, Major - lesbianquill

“This is a near perfect Serena being fixated on Bernie in fatigues fic. The first chapter is very insightful, helping us to understand why Bernie might not be happy to accede to Serena’s small kink/obsession. That of course doesn’t last for too long because Bernie loves Serena and she loves having sex with Serena. It was offered as a smutty one shot, but then they rewarded us with an even smuttier second chapter and teased us with the news that a third chapter would be forthcoming. It never happened. Main reason for wishing it could be continued? I enjoy well-written smut.”

In the Spirit of Three Stars - alwayssomethingelse

“Bernie and Serena as Federation officers on Deep Space Nine. Oh, the potential!”

Anatomically Correct - phantomunmasked

“Bernie severely overcompensating for any possible awkwardness in their first time by ordering a mountain of sex toys is a premise that will always delight me. Every time I go back to this one, I ponder what their weekend away would bring with a big grin.”

The Clinic - RexWolfe

“Maybe it’s all the Bramwell we’ve been watching, but this one’s been on my mind lately. Can’t go wrong with a Victorian AU.”

a life in pictures - Regency

"I soooo want to see Serena maybe modelling for Bernie (or at least just how the date goes)”

working up a storm inside my head - sevtacular

“While this isn’t actually an unfinished fic in the sense of chapters missing, the prompt fic collection of Sev can always be added to as far as I’m concerned. Love what has been written so far, hope there will be new chapters with time.”

Body and Soul - ChalkHillBlue

“Possibly the weirdest AU idea ever, this body swap AU makes my brain go crazy with the possibilities every time I read it.”

When We Need One Another The Most - Whispersmummy

“I know this isn’t strictly Berena but it wouldn’t have been written if not for the Berena fandom who love most every conceivable way these two dorks might get together. Very well written (imo) and cleverly constructed fic. Lots and lots of angst and who doesn’t love angst? Only thing missing is a small amount of smut. (Yes I’m back there).”

Ring In The New - fiveroundsrapid

“Fics where Bernie comes to Holby before/during Adrienne’s illness are my kryptonite, and this one is so good!”

Holby One: A Star Wars AAU Story - elitryalittle

“Holby One is my favorite unfinished fic. It’s not just because I came to Berena via Star Wars (a bit of an unusual way, but here I am), but also because I can totally see Serena as a healer and Bernie as a Jedi knight. Kudos for their excellent knowledge of the SWU and this great idea of a crossover fic. I’d give them a limited edition “Looking for Leia” patch and a sticker if they’d finish it.”

to gaze at you, from afar (I sigh, I sigh, I sigh) - bonnissance

“The photographer/model AU you never knew you needed in your life, but you really, really do.”

Heroic Endeavor - Nicolaruth27

“I never would’ve thought I’d be down for a Greek god AU, but this fic has permanent residence in a corner of my brain. Bernie as Athena in mortal form is inspired, and the way the fic is interwoven with canon is a delight.”

what a lovely way to burn - ktlsyrtis

“I just love anything that's weaved into canon but with them being happy and dating and communicating."

Love, Unexpected - Igerna

“Bernie is still married to Marcus when she meets Serena during a conference. They immediately bond and keep in contact, sharing both professional advice and thoughts on their private lives. Love, for them, happens rather unexpectedly. I do love conference fics and slow burns - and this is a good one.”

a little less war torn - kitnkabootle

“The setup for this - in which Serena is the one who goes to help when Bernie is brought to Holby, instead of Raf - is one of my favorite ‘what ifs’ to ponder, and the writing is outstanding.”

#berena #bernie wolfe #serena campbell #holby city #berena cpr #fic rec

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phantastus · 8 years ago

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Hi Kit!! I was thinking about Shattered Memories for the first time in a little while and so I decided to search your blog about your opinion on it and you said it frustrates you, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it if you're interested? :)

Oh man, what a coincidence. I was just talking about this with @dunglizard.

Hmm… to condense my thoughts on it, my basic opinion is that while I did enjoy playing the game, there was a lot ABOUT it that was frustrating. Most of my issues with it have to do with wasted potential and the disrespectful attitude of the people making it, and then also there were gameplay aspects that were frustrating too. Of the two, the gameplay aspects are more forgivable imo, because like, no game is perfect and they really were trying to do something new, which is risky and doesn’t always succeed even with the best of intentions.

But to be clear– I had fun playing it! The story was compelling, the character writing was great, and the entire visual makeup of the game was haunting and beautiful. There was a LOT about it that I find really commendable!

And, really, what made it so frustrating to me was the fact that those aspects of it… deserved better, and were sorely let down by the things that WEREN’T good about the game.

I’ll put my negativity under a readmore because it got really long.

(disclaimer: I’m an angry old Silent Hill fogey and while I think I’m generally more reasonable than a LOT of fans, I’m still exactly the kind of person that Tomm Hulett likes to chortle about never being able to please, so like… keep that in mind.)

So uh, we’ll start with the gameplay I guess!

I love the idea of a no-combat Silent Hill game, and I remember when the game had only just been announced, I spent so much time chatting with friends about how a Silent Hill game featuring a protagonist who had a valid reason not to be able to fight the monsters (such as a small child, or an elderly or disabled person) would be really, REALLY cool. But even with Harry 2.0 as the playable character, I was still looking forward to what I thought was probably going to be a stealth-based Silent Hill game, which was SO exciting for me because the most scared I’ve ever been while playing games as a kid were ones where you had to sneak, with no option for combat (guess who nearly had a fucking heart attack every single time I had to sneak out of the Slytherin Common Room in the Harry Potter + the Chamber of Secrets PC game? spoilers it was teenage me). If you were caught, that was it. And the trailers for the game seemed to indicate that this would be the case, with mechanics for hiding from the monsters so that they wouldn’t find you. You know, like what would make sense for a no-combat horror game. This is a common mechanic for horror games both indie and mainstream NOW, but at the time, the only major one I remember knowing about was Amnesia: The Dark Descent, which blew everybody’s MINDS with how pants-shittingly scary it was, and the thought of an SH game trying the same thing was like:

But then when the game came out, that mechanic wound up being… kind of broken. Maybe the AI for the monsters was just ramped way up or something, but hiding essentially felt useless, since there was basically never a time when the monsters WEREN’T chasing you. No matter how far ahead of them you got, they still seemed to know exactly where you were and would catch up to you within a few seconds. If you DID manage to hide, most of the time they seemed to telepathically know you were there anyway and would drag you out. Not to mention, since you pretty much had to run the entire time without slowing down or stopping, there was no time to check the map and, as the courses got more and more difficult, they basically stopped being scary.

There was no time to actually breathe and build up that apprehension of “Will it find me? Did I lose them? Is it safe to pull out my map and figure out where to go?”– instead it just became an obstacle course race where all the other participants were not only more in-shape than you but also knew the course by heart and wanted to eat you. What should have been heart-stoppingly terrifying and dread-inducing just turned into “oh FUCK now I have to run around at breakneck speed for twenty minutes and hope that I’m going in the right direction”, and that just got… really aggravating after awhile. It could have been really good, and it just… wasn’t.

Pictured above: me thinking I’ve taken a new path for the 20th time only to emerge directly into a Raw Shock army who already knew I was coming.

At best, watching Harry get repeatedly dogpiled by Raw Shocks every time my thumb faltered was pretty funny. But they were going for adrenaline rush and instead wound up with yackety-sax. Not a good move for a game boasting about how damn scary it was. The non-chase portions of the game definitely had a lovely, dread-filled atmosphere, but the fact that you were never in any kind of danger until the scripted events where the Obstacle Course Race From Hell happened kind of dampened their effectiveness, too.

ANYWAY, onto the other stuff, which I concede is more personal than objective. But I do feel really strongly about it, so here goes.

Originally, Silent Hill: Shattered Memories was going to be an entirely new entry in the series, not only featuring a new story and characters but also the first female protagonist since Heather Mason. Between THAT and the unique atmosphere that SHSM had, I really, REALLY think that it would have been an awesome entry to the continuity, and GOD does Silent Hill need more female protagonists!

But somewhere down the line, that idea was scrapped in favor of the “re-imagining” idea, so instead of a new entry to the series, instead we got… a new entry where the characters had the same names as the ones from SH1, despite resembling them only in the most superficial of ways, and also you’re playing as a dude instead of a girl because of course you are. The honest truth is that if those familiar names were filed off and only a few minor tweaks made to the story, it would STILL be a completely original entry, which makes the re-imagining aspect feel jarring and cheap– the game really felt like it was banking on the shock value of Harry Mason Actually™ being an alcoholic womanizer and Dahlia Gillespie Actually™ being a hot sexy twenty-something, etc more than anything else– when the truth is, if they had just trusted in the story they were telling and the genuine emotional impact of the characters’ problems, they would have had an equally (if not MORE, imo) impactful and memorable game.

Instead, the SH1 aspects felt forced and ugly, and when you factor in Kaufmann 2.0’s smug soliloquey at the finale about accepting that your [Cheryl’s AND the player’s] perfect image of Harry Mason was wrong~ and unrealistic~, the entire story felt like a smirking hamfisted dickpunch aimed at people who enjoyed the original Silent Hill story about a diminutive and flawed (yes, even in the original canon, he WAS flawed) but determined man who rescued his child from a nightmarishly abusive home situation.

Reading Tomm Hulett’s opinion (pictured above: me reading almost anything Tomm Hulett says) on the game only reinforced that impression– I honestly don’t feel like going and looking up the interview because it pissed me off but it mostly consisted of insisting that SHSM was “as canon as any of the other games” and was supposed to be considered a viable in-universe ending to SH1 (despite… literally being an alternate universe BY DEFINITION and not being continuity-compatible with the other games). Given Hulett+Co’s consistent obsession with “fixing” the original games (see the HD collection debacle, during which the original voice actors/actresses were mocked rudely and key dialogue changed to be “more believable” despite the new dialogue being totally deaf to narrative, characterization, and tone), it’s really hard not to take the “We fixed Harry Mason to be more realistic and the entire message of the game is about how silly and fantastical the original character of Harry Mason was, hohoho” attitude as being deliberately condescending and self-masturbatory.

Not to mention, while I have NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER with the characters of SHSM entirely on their own (hence why I’d honestly be all for filing the names off and treating them as entirely-unique characters in their own story, which I feel they absolutely deserved), I personally find the whole concept of… ‘fixing’ an everyman hero by ‘revealing’ him to be an unfaithful, child-abusing alcoholic, and a delightfully sinister and brilliant villain to be a Sad Mom ™, AND a troubled and traumatized but ultimately heroic young woman to be a Daddy Issues Stereotype who was also Crazy The Whole Time ™ to be…. just repugnant, in the same way that I find overly-grimdark versions of superheroes repugnant.

Pictured above: me when people take pre-established characters and make them edgier for shock value and not much else.

For me, that was what took an otherwise interesting and poignant story and cheapened it for the sake of beating a dead horse (because they’d rather SHATTER our MEMORIES of those silly OLD games, lol cry moar babies!!! than take the plunge and try doing something that could stand on its own).

The characters of SHSM deserved so much more than to just be a “fuck you” to SH1, and the characters of SH1+3 deserve more credit than to be considered flimsy and unrealistic just because they didn’t fit into someone’s approved level of Grimdark. Given that, after all the smirking and hullabaloo and Problematic Decisions ™, the game’s connection to SH1 was still so, so superficial, it went from being just a questionable storytelling choice to actively making the game worse than what it could have been, for virtually no good reason.

And final footnote: These are my opinions, and obviously there are ample reasons for people to like and enjoy SHSM! I also in no way think that writing characters with the issues presented in SHSM is bad or “edgy” by itself, it’s purely the reasons behind doing it and the fact that it denied me a bona fide in-universe canon Silent Hill game with a new female protagonist that puts it in that territory for me. Nobody has to agree with me if they feel differently. Thank you for reading.

#Silent Hill #SHSM #kit rambles about silent hill #this is a largely negative post #so folks in the tag for regular SHSM content might want to scroll!#asks 4 me #Anonymous

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