#god im so tired the focus is Out the window today lord help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

floramodus-archive · 7 years ago

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floramodus fuckfuckjfuck DAVE!!!!!!

clockworkkatana what whats up

floramodus my microscpe exploded i cant see theres glass and blood everywhere i dont wanna die again but i cant SSEE!!!

clockworkkatana whoa fuck wait what

floramodus the nuclear reactor battery in my scope combusted and i couldnt contain it all in time and it blew out my retinas and i think shattered my lens i dont know i dont know!!!!!!

clockworkkatana um fuck okay hold still ill be there in just a second

floramodus be careful i dontt know how b a d the glass went

clockworkkatana dont worry ill put on shoes just stay still a second okay? dont move

floramodus ggot that covered i kinda stopped trying when i got a shard of goddamn GLASS in my hands!!

clockworkkatana ill take care of that too just keep breathing for now im on my way

clockworkkatana "Keep breathing" is advice both to her and yourself, and you try best to follow it as the transportalizer warms up, dumping you unceremonious on the receiver pad a universe away. You swear to fuck, if another friend dies (or even is badly injured) you're going to have to break something. A fundamental force of the universe, maybe. You'res still workshopping.

"Flo?" you say, voice steady as you please, slowly opening the door to her room. You hear the crunch of glass underfoot and know you've found the right place. "It's me. It's Dave. Talk to me, Flo."

floramodus Even blind and panicking you can't help but hiccup a laugh at his voice. God, your a mess. "I know its you, Dave. It's not-" You spit out another mouthful of blood, voice wavering as you take off your glasses to cover your mangled eyes with your equally bleeding hand.

"It's not like I was expecting anyone else," you finish, twisting your body to face where you heard him enter. As casual as you tried to look you felt like you could scream; Thank fuck the explosion hadnt of hurt your ears, because seeing nothing but red and black reminded you too fondly of your time in the horrorterrors. You fumbled to find the chair with your other hand, gripping the leg when you found it. "I hope you werent working."

clockworkkatana You wince at the blood - fuck, there sure is a lot of that, huh? - and fail to summon a reassuring smile you know she can't see. "I don't know what your life's like," you counter, taking careful steps towards her, avoiding as much glass as you can manage, "best to make sure you knew it's me and not some rando, yeah?"

She turns to face you and oh good lord you think you've actually had this nightmare once or twice. How about fuck. "Jesus," you murmur under your breath before clearing your throat and raising your voice for her to hear: "Nah, don't worry about it. Not a lot's more pressing than this, don't stress about me." You reach out to place a hand on her shoulder, kneeling down beside her.

floramodus The contact snaps you farther back into reality, or breaks the overall shock. What ever the case, your still left with the throbbing pain actually hitting you for the first time. Fuck. You spend a minute trying to level your breathing. Maybe think of something witty and cool to respond with. You fail, but you'd doubt he'd give you shit for it.

"I didn't think I was doing anything dangerous," you whimper, taking your hand off your face as you try to push yourself up onto your knees. Your rewarded with surprise! More glass in your knees and the sensation of shards tangled in your tail. Keeping you head low trying to spare him more imagery then he has to see, you find his arm to touch something not laced with goddamn glass. You cant even feel yourself crying but you have an inkling you are. "I was just updating some information and I still managed to fuck up. I dont wanna die again.How else am I gonna fix this?"

clockworkkatana You are so bad at bedside manner. You take a breath and swallow down the discomfort, though, you have more important things to worry about. "We're gonna figure it out," you say, and you can almost believe yourself, saying it. "Just. Okay. First things first, we're gonna get you out of here and get you cleaned up. Sound good? Leave the worrying about to me, I can handle that."

You're still mumbling what are supposed to be reassurances when you rise slowly to your feet, sliding her arm around your neck. "Just relax and keep to breathing, yeah?" you say, carefully picking her up off the broken glass. "I got you from here." Your apartment hasn't needed to double as field hospital since Briar came back, but you've kept the kits well stocked just in case. "You don't have to fix this," you reassure. "Leave it to me. You're not gonna die again. You didn't fuck this up. S'not your fault. I'll handle this. Just let me do that, alright?"

floramodus "Don't you ever get tired of being the one to handle everything Dave?" you mumble, hissing through your teeth. Helpful as getting off a floor coated in glass was the urge to crawl right back into a ball was almost too tempting. Instead you grip tighter to him, trying to keep most of the blood off. From the smell alone you doubt its worth the work. Doesn't stop the worry from needling physical responses out of you.

"You spend so much of your time fixing things. Things that werent your fault and shouldnt be." You lean your head against him, ears flicking as you listen to him try- and fail- to appear as composed. "You can handle alot but do you ever ask if you should?" Before you even let that tangent fully settle you bring up your defense, with a breathy laugh. "I know this pickle I've gotten myself into isn't the time to question your motives I much appreciate not being a pin cushion till I expire. Your much warmer than the floor anyway."

clockworkkatana Don't you? But, then, if you won't, who will? (Or, you suppose, if you don't handle things, what are you supposed to do? Stand by and watch things happen? Never seemed your style.) "It's worth it," you reply, and you suppose it's answer enough.

It's difficult, carrying a goddess in your arms and scrolling through transportalizer coordinates to find the one that leads back home, but somehow you manage, face dour as Flora laughs. "I'd rather bear the brunt of it if it means you lot don't have to. And - don't talk like that. You're not expiring. We don't have expiration dates and you're hardly that far out if we did."

floramodus You'd roll your eyes if they werent throbbing with the rest of your skull. A classic Dave response, one you expected, but it had to be said. No use to argue with a knight after all. Instead you yawn, it twisting into a sigh. You were tired in many many ways. "I won't argue with the Time player about death dates but you know what I meant! I'm just saying being with you is a much better alternative than was my other options were."

You jump hearing the transportilizer whirring to life, having lost your awareness of your surroundings. It made you shiver, knowing where the thing was in the map in your head but not being able to pinpoint it visually. Especially when the smells switched in an instant, throwing your generally clear sense out the window. You shook your head, trying to stamp down the shaking. "And considering it feels like the horrorterrors are gonna tear me apart again, I don't particularly wanna see my other options if thats alright with you."

clockworkkatana You guess you smile at that, a lip curling with a huff of breath. "Yeah, I guess you got me there." Artemis and company give a chorus as you step inside, watching as you carrying Flora through the apartment towards Briar's room.

You still think of it as hers, anyway, and you've hardly touched it since she left, but she won't be back today or tomorrow or maybe ever so you guess it's alright to use it for its intended purpose when you rented this place. That is, a place to not bleed all over the floors and ruin your deposit. "Fine by me," you say, depositing her very gently on the bed. Talos appears in the doorframe, and you get him to go grab the medkits while you focus on getting her sorted. "Don't worry, alright? I'm right here and I got you. You're gonna be fine."

floramodus "I think at this point your saying that more for yourself than me," you chuckle, despite still shivering. Smooth, almost like you weren't having a panic attack so bad your chest felt like it was collasping. Like you couldnt feel your own pulse in between seizing pain. Tucking yourself close once you were set down, you cocked your head trying to pinpoint where you were in Dave's house. You have been here a million times but this place smelled like Briar and stale iron more than the usual scents.

"This is Briar's old place isn't it," you murmur, wiping the collecting blood off your face with the back of your hand, clenched tight enough you felt your nails digging into the cuts on your palms. Normally you wouldn't even breach that subject if you could help it but he could throw you a bone here. He could have taken you to Briar's for all you know. Though you think you couldn't have paid him enough to do so.

clockworkkatana You scowl and shoot her a scathing glare that she can't see. "I might be," you reply, taking the hint and slowing yourself right the fuck down. "Doesn't mean I don't mean it, though." Talos returns, setting down a heavy bag and rifling through supplies you've had kept safe as a just-in-case ever since you got your own place. Thank your upbringing for that, you guess.

"Oh, uh. Yeah," you falter for a moment before you shake yourself and find the bandages to wipe away the blood. You cough, finding some tweezers to start plucking the shards of glass from her skin. "Her, ah. Old room, from when she crashed with me. Yeah, why?"

floramodus It takes you a minute to get coherent enough to reply to his discomfort, due to the fact as soon you heard metal you jerked yourself back on the bed. Of course when your arm doesnt want to take your weight you fall onto your side with a hiss. Right, at Dave's. Not a doctor. Doesn't stop your pulse from trying to escape your mortal coil.

"Uh, nothing, I just smelt her is all. I just wanted to know where I was." You hated how pathetic that sounded, how pathetic you were at the moment in general. "I just smelted blood and Briar and I know thats not something I've smelt here before. Ive never gone in here, haven't had to." You didn't have to ask if this is where she had been when she came back. You could smell it. Even coming to the internet after the aftermath you could almost picture the disaster from the mosaic the smells made. It was uncomfortable almost, not organic.

clockworkkatana Ah. Right. You'd been trying not to think about how the air in here was still a little stashed with the weight of her. "Oh. No, yeah. This is her room. I haven't gone in here much since she moved. Not for like a set reason or anything I just haven't. Really had a reason to I guess." Do you sound as pathetic as you think that sounds? Eesh. Maybe stop thinking about it and focus on the task at hand.

"But no, yeah. We're still at my place." You spare a glance at her eyes when you dab at the blood with another bandage, wince at the red film that sort of leaks from her ducts. "At risk of asking maybe the dumbest question ever, how, uh. How are you feeling? How's the pain? I have stuff for it. Advil, oxycodone, morphine, the works. I'm working on the glass right now but. Talk to me, Flo."

floramodus "You say risk like theres a chance it wasn't dumb, Dave," you huff in a good natured way, glad for a segaway over you two trying to fumble over a charred bridge still smoldering with embers. You were never good at that. Which is why you guess the bridge of how you ended up like this is still left dry rotted. At least you had enough answers to satisfy your morbid curiousity. "It hurts. bad. I'm cold and i cant stop shivering. I want go to bed. I'm sleepy. It hurts. Did I mention it feels like I shot myself?"

You try sit up but get as far as shoving yourself up an inch before your slip back down. The more tired you got the more sitting still made you nervous. Like every second that crawled past was gonna drag you with it. "Whats the diagnosis doc? Am I gonna have to go to the rainbow bridge to fix this?" you said, yelping at the last few words as he pulled out a sizable chunk. Note to self: bulletproof glass.

clockworkkatana "Do you want these fucking drugs or not," you fire back, cracking a grin as you reel back from potentially dive-bombing into angsty horseshit again. "But. Yeah. Okay, I can work with that. Just let me get the rest of these shards out-" the words are eclipsed by a particularly tricky sliver that feels bad just to watch abscond from her skin, nevermind how it must feel on the extraction, "-and I'll let you rest. I can give you something for that, too. I'll even let you borrow my good blanket, alright?"

She shifts as you drop another shard into the little bowl you're containing them all in, and you put a hand on her shoulder to ease her back down. "Don't move, alright? You're gonna be just fine. I'm gonna patch you up and you'll be right as rain, no rainbow bridge required."

floramodus "I've never had pain meds in my life but at this point I'll take anything- it'll keep me from BITING you at least," you growl, the irony of your bared teeth not lost on you even as you fight the urge to snap his hand. "I'm doing my best here ok," you continue, as if your hands werent aching from tension, "But you know damn well I'm not gonna take anything of yours unless were sharing it Dave." Were you afraid of being alone and blind? Maybe. He didn't have to know that. He probably already did. Your friendship was infuriating like that.

You tried to think of a conversation that would fit in between the silence and not sound stupid, but really, what wouldn't? Sure lets talk about the weather while your laying here, blind as a bat, whimpering as you scratch at your own eyes because they felt like goddamn sandpaper. Real casual.

"It's hell actually caring that you exist," you finally say, turning you head to look at him. "Before I made such progress when I didn't care if each time I died it could end up just. Now? its so frustrating that every option is a dead end! Even with all the knowledge and equipment I have I'm failing Bec again and again just like I failed David, Rose, John.........All of you when I couldn't just find a goddamn solution and be able to stop!"

Another piece, another panging spasm. "The saddest thing is theres solutions all around but guess what? I don't want any of you hurt. Not if I tried to play the game again, you using that damned book of yours. Why can't that be solace enough to quit? Why do I still do this? I've probably learnt too much from you." you conclude, turning your head back around with a sigh.

clockworkkatana “I know, I know,” you begin, though she beats you to the punch and drops you with a couple of bombshells that have you sighing and silent. The morphine is right where you left it from last time, and you rattle the bottle a little in your hand, toying with the cap. “I don’t need morphine.”

The hand on her shoulder cups her face - you don’t know anything about anything but you don’t think scratching at her eyes is going to help things - for a moment before pulling away, and you match her sigh with one of your own. “You aren’t failing anyone,” you say, and you mean it, really you do, but even to you the words sound tired. “The game just fucked you, straight up. You shouldn’t have to torture yourself over reworking and reverse-engineering this fucking. Planet-ending crock of eldritch horror straight from a Sims-addicted serial killer’s fantasy fever dream to try and undo what basically amounts to fate bullshit and destiny /fucks/. That shouldn’t be on you, Flora.”

You pluck what you think is the last shard of glass and drop it unceremoniously into the bowl, waving your hand in the air in a gesture she can’t even see. “Don’t even talk about playing again, dude. I know you’re hurting for answers but for real. Don’t mess with that. I’ll take the stupid book and whatever it did to Briar over you going back in there any day of the week.” At the mention of the tome, you glance over to see it resting on the cleared-out space of Briar’s desk. As though it’d been there all along, beckoning. “What could it do to me, anyway.”

floramodus You crack a small smile at his colorful tangent, knowing realistically he was right. It wasn't your choice to play. It wasn't your choice to die. And yet, here you were. Fumbling with your hand, you wave it like an unsure dog until you make contact with his arm, gripping it. "It could do a hell of alot to you Dave and you know it. You don't what it does you've said it yourself. Do you think I could live with myself if it did something?"

You let go, moving your blood stuck bangs off your forehead, wincing at the pang of pain that radiates up your forearm. "I survived losing everyone I care for Dave. I thought that was the worst that could happen. I know I'm wrong about that. If something hurt you id easily find something just without thought. You don't know how much you've made this life worth living. It's an option, yeah, but you've got to look at yourself and know that."

You lay your arm back down on your stomach, sucking air in through your teeth. Who knew being covered in glorified papercuts would sting so much? "But don't worry, I won't play the game again. That I can leave in the past and not be discontent."

clockworkkatana You shrug to that. Hypothetically, from what you know? It could do a great fucking deal of a lot. Briar’d only used it as last resort, and look what she had to show for it. Then again, so had you, and you’d seen no adverse side effects, aside from the one where she moved out. “It wouldn’t kill me,” you reply. “Besides, I’ve used it before. How do you think I brought Briar back?”

You wince in empathy, shaking out the morphine pills and pressing them gently into her hand while Talos exits to grab her a drink. Then you wince again, when her words process. “Come on, Flo,” you begin, a pang of guilt racking you as she carries on. “I care about you too, you know that. And that’s exactly why I’m bringing it up: I want to fix this, and the book is… it’s good at fixing things. You wouldn’t lose me for that - no one would.”

You make a hum of appreciation at the appeasement of that particular nightmare. “We don’t have to do anything right now. We don’t have to make any decisions yet. But we’ll figure something out. Maybe it’s the book, maybe it’s another way. But we’ll find a way to fix this. I promise that.”

floramodus You let the tension ebb out of your shoulders at his affirmations, but still let a frown creep through. Yeah, he had brought her back, but you knew things like that, never worked the same way twice. However, if he insisted everything would work out, you were inclined to believe him. Many drunken and wounded nights in the past year had proven his words correct; Everything would be ok if you believed him.

"Not like I'm in the right place to be making any important decisions" you joke, giving the pills a tentative sniff. Dave could have given you cyanide for all you care, but the sharp scent of sulfate and stale wrongness still sent a shudder down your spine. Gross. "But your right, nothing we can do tonight anyway. I just-" you pause, trying to prop and pull yourself up so you could take these pills without choking, and manage to pull yourself up just enough to be able to slump your weight on your elbow. You take By then you didn't know how to finish that statement, so you throw the pills in your mouth and chase them down with the water Talos brings a few minutes later into your pondering. What did you wish for? To be able to be better at being the powerful god you wanted to be? Or that he would have been David, giving you someone that actually cared enough to try? "I just care too much, but thats always been my problem hasn't it?"

#action #plot #clockworkkatana #blood /#eye horror /#gore /#injury /#suicide mention /#death mention /#drugs /#literally ask to tag theres so much #but heres what shes been up too #long /#really goddamn long /

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