#god im being so obsessive. i think tomorrow im not gonna go on discord at all

[bangcakes]

.

[parismemes]

THINGS SAID IN DISCORD: NOVEMBER EDITION!

“EY TONY STOP WALKIN ALL OVER MY FEET” “hopefully this person has the gift of prophecy” “at least youre not ALSO part gemini” “apparently a lot of women just go into labor when it floods” “this mf walking into subway like im about to manipulate this unsuspecting employee into making me a sandwich” “im like a proud mother with a gun today” “im coming to your location and im going to knock everything off your shelves” “jsyk if anyone doesnt say happy birthday in here im prepared to show up on the astral plane in your location and haunt you” “im not doing anything except for having an opinion” “you guys have got to stop rectangle squaring things” “dont you know that its emo to have trauma” “hey everyone i just want to say sorry in advance for the way im going to behave tomorrow” “come to the conclusion that i shouldnt be allowed to type things. very sorry” “rotisserie chicken boy.” “i dont agree with my result im gonna find a worse quiz made by a middle schooler” “god im so good at loopholes im so smart” “WAS THIS WHAT FUCKING STARTED MY FUCKING CATBOY AND CATGIRL OBSESSION FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF” “i always feel like a pickle in a jar when ur not here :(” “hey. you know youre not allowed to get good sleep around us.” “either this man is fuck you years old or he just gets around A LOT. or both but unrelated to eachother i guess” “nice going ___ that is just the movie enchanted.” “I COULD NEVER KILL HIM hes my poor little meow meow” “formal apology everyone i was in what we like to call in the business a mood” “what if one day i wake up and i realize i still feel completely empty. what then.” “theres nothing in the ocean i will not eat” “ppl just like to get pretentious about not cracking their cheesecakes” “we're being assassinated for being correct this is political suppression“ “well thats just not true. i can think of at least one occasion youve been wrong before” “EXIT. THE PREMESIS” “___ your bf would eat raw meat. you have no room here” “i was like wait what the fuck other golf terms are birds and then i remembered. birdie” “im glad you enjoy me calling you a shit head” “overstimulated in this cheesecake factory” “we missed you so we are chewing up the couches” “one time i went to a wax museum and i tried to take a selfie with the tswift wax figure but i couldnt even fit us both in frame bc she was so tall” “if you have to resort to gamer slang to win your argument youre automatically wrong” “ill accept it because yellow and purple are basically the same thing” “i dont need to use scientific tools to prove my point i have eyes” “im not having this debate because i want to solve it im having this debate because im right“ “i think the terms of the debate were pretty clear in that it cannot be anything other than green or yellow and since its not yellow its obviously green” “i love you with all my soul but thats the worst and most incorrect thing youve ever said“ “i think everyone is qualified to judge my taste.” “rip king sorry to hear about ur tragic fate“ “this interaction for sure is ending with one or both of them getting alcohol poisoning by the end of the night” “i love watching these minecraft guys go to war. if we did minecraft id absolutely go to war with one of u.” “active decisions can still be dumb” “if that really happens thats more valuable to me than winning any lottery” “i put laundry away when the stars are properly aligned” “i just never stop thinking about it because i dont like the vibe it gives me at all even a little” “hes never done anything wrong, except for the things he did do wrong, which i forgive him for” “i could say the fuck word before too it was just not legal” “ok its definitely not square vs rectangle because then youre saying everyone with a piss kink is a vampire but not all vampires have a piss kink” “thats like saying "oh you like juice? well try this ;)" and then putting it through four water filtration systems and giving them the remains” “how dare you cater to my tastes.” “im going to crawl into a hole in the earth and bury myself” “this is a step backwards. but ill take it as a good omen anyway.“ “i can tell why critics hated it because it has every film element that a critic would not like, but luckily that happens to be exactly everything in a film that i love” “why am i in everyones dreams lately” “i dont believe in colors” “I HATE HIM SO MUCH ITS UNREAL” “(sobbing) i try not to judge appearances but why does your face look like that.” “i actually have no idea how to send things in the mail and im too embarrassed to ask“ “tone wise that feels like a dream i once had about Evil Youtube” “yeah hes hinged but like instead of being a normal door hes a funhouse door that is tilted a little too horizontally and is also randomly placed in the middle of the wall”

[malakhai-ozera]

 Discord Text Thread || Khoman  ♥  

Discord thread featuring: Khai and Roman @romanbeckett

When:  December 24th (day & night)

Mentions: Landon Davies @davieslandon

Description: Roman texts Khai to forgive him after his voicemail. They start texting again later in the day and Khai is beyond fucked up and Roman once again expresses his concerns for him.

Trigger Warnings: HARD drug use, drug mentions, light sexting and dirty talk.(sorry this one is kinda looooong)

Roman. babe. You’re forgiven. Shit happens. I just worry...which is one of my issues. I worry constantly about everything. Always afraid something will happen to you.

Khai. I know, and I’ve been real careless. I didn’t mean to be a shit I was just... being stupid and fucked up I hope you know I really don’t have a problem with you staying with Landon. Idek what my deal was

Roman. are you sure it doesn’t bother you?

Khai. I’m sure baby. I just want you two to have fun

Roman. I’ll still see you there tomorrow right?

Khai. of course you will. Fancy pjs and all lol

Roman. oh my god I can’t wait lol

Khai. me either. It’s gonna be an amazing day for sure

Roman. I’ll be off work soon and I’ll bring us dinner

Khai. I look forward to it! I’m starving plus I really wanna kiss you

Roman. I reallllly wanna kiss you too. Maybe we can sneak in a quickie

Khai. maybe huh?

Roman. okay definitely, because I want lol

Khai.

hahaha well I’m always down baby. You know I can’t keep my hands off of you.

- Later that same day -

Roman. I miss you already

Khai. Miss you too

Roman. dinner and messing around was fun though. Best Christmas gift ever.

Khai. it was fun indeed! I couldn’t agree more

Roman. are you okay?

Khai. yeah I’m okay why?

Roman. idk just checking. I feel guilty now that I’m not there

Khai. don’t feel guilty. I have my drugs and hot chocolate to keep me warm haha

Roman. ooo what drugs lolll

Khai. Just the usual. I also have my tequila so I’m set lol

Roman. damn. I do wish I was there

Khai. I always wish you were here. But it’s okay. We will make out all day tomorrow

Roman. yesss. Can we cook a late night breakfast for dinner together and watch Christmas movies

Khai. absolutely! We can do whatever you want baby

Roman. I'm having wiiiine

Khai. mmm what kind?

Roman. it's a good ass Pinot

Khai. oooo im jelly I’m half way through my tequila advent calendar haha I got behind

Roman. Lmao omg babe!!! How much have you has?? lol

Khai. like 6 so farv ? Lol

Roman. FARV 😂

Khai. oops haha

Roman. I am laughing. I love you lol if I was there, I’d be in your lap right now.

Khai. I love you mooooore yeah you would

Roman. thighs on either side of you, straddling you with my forehead against yours, running my fingers through your hair...

Khai. damn baby... don’t make me come there and crash your party

Roman. SHSUSJEJEJEJENEJDJJE why is my boyfriend so HOT

Khai. because you were a good boy this year? haha

Roman. well we both know THAT isn’t true lol

Khai. hahahaha well then idk. But my boyfriend is pretty fucking sexy too though and lord knows I’ve been baaaaad

Roman. we got lucky  now if we could just keep our damn apartment

Khai. I know... that would be nice wouldn’t it? can’t have it all though I guess lol

Roman. I still haven’t found a place and I’m stressed

Khai. yeah, idk where I’m going either. Maybe we can go look together after Christmas

Roman. yeah, let’s do that. Bleh. Anyway, don’t wanna bring down the mood!! How ya feelin?

Khai. I’m feeling goodz how you feeling?

Roman. goodz too  I feel all warm and buzzy

Khai. hahaha dammit I’m glad baby. I want you to have fun just not to mush fun haha

Roman. I won’t have too much fun. Not without youuuu

Khai. good. Cause J like the sound o g that

Roman. babe you’re wasted aren’t you

Khai. yes I am ll I misssh you

Roman. omg mish. That’s so cute omg. I wanna hear you say it

Khai. nooo hahaha

Roman. mish mish mishhhh

Khai. you’re so mean lol but I love youuu

Roman. noooo I just think it’s adorable lol I love your typos. They make my life better.

Khai. Mhm you mage my life begetter. I should prolly stip drinking now hahaha

Roman. You probably should babe

Khai. that tot out of hand fasty lol oops

Roman. fasty omg you’re SO cute

Khai. lmao wow I gives up

Roman. I’m just imagining you saying all of this outloud, and it’s like making my night

Khai. hahaha I’m glad. I’m imagning you laughing and it’s making my nifht too

Roman. my squawking laugh  god

Khai. nooooo it’s the bstes laugh wver and beast smile too

Roman. I would argue that YOU have the best smile my love.

Khai. Nope nope

Roman. UM *picture of Khai’s smile*

Khai. I look liek a weirro

Roman. WHAT you’re crazy lol

Khai. I’m crazy anout youuuuuu I wanna snugs you

Roman. me too. I love snuggling with you every night and it’s so weird when we don’t like !!! I’m so used to going to bed with you.

Khai. it is weird. Indint like it but Im gonna sleept in y it bed

Roman. sleep in my bed any time you want love. You’ll like the new book I have

Khai. ooooo I wish you erre here

Roman. I know. I do too. I miss those eyes. I also miss your scruff. That sounds so dumb, but I love the way it feelssss

Khai. I love yyou I’m gonna scrufff you up when I se you

Roman. scruff up the inside of my thighs PLEASE AND THANKS

Khai. you know j will

Roman. god I love when you give me beard burn

Khai. I thinks that the hottest thing yku ever said to me I want you sinebws

Roman. what can I say? I just love your head between my legs

Khai. I love it too baby. I luv makings you deel good

Roman. ugh I’m starting to get buzzed now lol

Khai. hahaha dinally this whol room is so pinky spiking lol yup nvm haha

Roman. it’s so what?? Hahaha spinning? Lol

Khai. yessum Jm good

Roman. bleh I worry about you.

Khai. I’m oka I promisee I hust miss you

Roman. I miss you too. So much baby. Keep talking to me so I don’t have to miss you even more.

Khai. what ya wanna talks about? Tell me ykyr favorite chrismas present

Roman. you won’t believe me if I tell you lol

Khai. yesss I whll

Roman. everything you got me. You know me so well. I’m obsessed with all of it. Ugh. The jacket, the shoes?! The freaking clock. You really did so good.

Khai. really? I’m so hapy you love it. I just wanted you to gave the best. You lok so good in those shows too

Roman. you know exactly what I like and feel good in.

Khai. cause I lover you

Roman. I love you too. How are you feeling?

Khai. sleepyyy but good gaga

Roman. baby I’m worried about you.

Khai. why? I’m fdine im jus laying in bed

Roman. i don’t like that you’re doing heroin

Khai. romsn it’s ojay

Roman. but you’re not even making sense

Khai. I ehould jus got to bed

Roman. maybe but bleh idk I’m worried and I should be there

Khai. no no, eont worry. I wsnt you to have fun.

Roman. I know but ugh. I love you.

Khai. I lowe you too idknt wanna hpset you

Roman. will you promise me you’ll try to stop?

Khai. fan we talked about tbis latr?

Roman. yeah of course

Khai. I jus imn so tucked up byt I wanba talk

Roman. I know

Khai. I love yky so mhch

Roman. I love you too.

Khai. I relly sm sorry. Ilm do better. Pleas have fhn tonight okay

Roman. I’m worried to death about you

Khai. I orimse Jm ok. I just nee to skep it off

Roman. okay

Khai. Smile is chrismaaaas

Roman. lol okay, I smiled

Khai. good boyyy

Roman. lol hate you!!

Khai. I knoooow but you lve me

Roman. I definitely love you

Khai. you’re my everything

Roman. Khaiiiii. You’re making me smile so much it fucking hurts lol

Khai. I mean itttt you’re all I ever need

Roman. god I think my heart is gonna explode lol you constantly wanna kill me

Khai. nooo baby. I just want you tk know how mych I love you and I am feelig better so thahs good well jot better but less high lol

Roman. lol!! Well. Bleh. Scared me there, not gonna lie.

Khai. I’m sorry baby I know I newd to stop it’s jus hard

Roman. i know.

Khai.

We can talk about this after the holiday tho. I don’t wanna ruin it for anyone

Roman. you’re not ruining anything for me. I promise.

Khai. I hope not cause I’d never forgive myself

Roman. babe. Don’t be silly. Everything’s okay *heart emoji*

Khai. you’re the best do you know that?

Roman. I’m not. But I’m glad you think so

Khai. I know so.