#god i shouldn't have had so many sweet things for breakfast

[cosmogyros]

I had a nightmare that the German plural of Blog was Blöge

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Top Spies Part 5/8

Okay, now I'm happy! 😄

Ruben and Reader are super spies, who have to pretend to be a married couple on vacation as a co-signed mission. A enemies to lovers fic, very sweet and funny!

Enjoy!

Things weren't awkward between you and Ruben since your little rumble in the sand, they were just different.

"So what are your plans for today?" You asked. Ruben was just returning from his morning jog, shirtless and dripping in sweat. You sat on the villas front balchony, enjoying a light breakfast.

"Not much, you?"

"Alejandro has invited us to play golf with him and his family this afternoon."

Ironically you and Ruben had settled in quite well with Alejandro and his family. They would often insist that you join them for a day on their yacht or a day kayaking in the sea. Ruben would usually try and come up with excuses why you shouldn't go, but Alejandro and his family kept insisting.

"What did you say?" Ruben asked.

"Well I said that you weren't much of a golfer and that it would probably be just me."

"Bet Alejandro liked that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" You frowned.

"The guy is clearly into you Y/N. He's just waiting for me to let you out of my sight."

"And will you?"

The scent of man invaded your nostrils as Ruben stepped up to you. For a moment you thought he was going to bend down and kiss you, however he paused as his lips hovered above yours.

"Never."

He snatched a grape from your plate. You admired the way his back muscles moved as he headed inside to shower. A part of you wanted to drop your skirt and join him. A very dominant part of you imagine what it would be like to fuck Ruben. Would he be gentle or rough? Handsy or tough?

Your guess was a bit of both.

********************************************

It was very obvious that Ruben wasn't much of a golfer, that he had never even held a club before. He was fine leaving you to it. Alejandro's nephew was eager to show him his collection of torphies instead.

"That's alot of golfballs." You acknowledged.

Arriving at Alejandro's golf course there were several piles of them overflowing the ranch.

"I'm thinking of expanding the resort with four more courses across the island, all with a view of the coast." He said.

"And for that you need more golfballs, makes sense." You nodded. "You should ad some more obstacles to the course, like a pond."

"No. Sand is fine. With water it gets too complicated with the golfballs."

You understood what he meant. It really was a hassle fishing golfballs out of the water, most of them got lost forever.

"Have you ever played golf professionally?" Alejandro asked. He was observing the way you picked your next golfclub, carefully weighing it in your hand, giving it a light swing.

"I stopped in the junior categories due to lack of funding from my parents."

"A shame. I would have stepped up as a sponsor if I knew you back then."

"Well that's very kind of you to say."

You learned that Alejandro supported alot of youth golfers in Portugal, including his nephew. You truly shared the passion for the sport, him a bit more since he was willing to invest in many young players careers.

"If I may ask, what was your maiden name before you got married?"

"It's was....."

You almost said it. You almost blew your cover revealing your real name.

Alejandro noticed your hesitation, tilting his head in curiosity. "I'm sorry for asking so many question but it feels like I should know who you are based on your merits. I've been on the board for the junior championships for over fiftheen years."

"No need to apologize. My junior career isn't somthing I'm really proud of. It basically eneded before it started."

"I see. And your maiden name was....?"

"Y/N!"

Thank god for Ruben. He interrupted you and Alejandro just in time.

"Yes?" You asked since he looked to have seen a ghost.

"Our reservations.... "

"Our what?"

He looked over your shoulders where Alejandro stood and that's when you realized that somthing was definitely up.

"Right, our reservations." You played along.

"You have reservations?" Alejandro questioned.

"Yes, to the spa." Ruben said.

"I'm sorry." You apologized. "I totally forgot about it."

Alejandro shook his head. "It's no worries. I can have Beatrice rearrange the reservations for tomorrow."

"That's very kind of you." Ruben said, already dragging you along with him. "But my wife and I need to relax today."

You left the golf course but did not stop at the spa nor the villa. Ruben drove you all the way to the marina before you finally asked him. "Whatta fuck?"

"There is a submarine." He said, a bit exhilarated about the fact.

"A what?"

"Alejandro's nephew told me that his uncle has a very big boat, like a whale. A whale that can dive underwater."

"What should we do?"

"Report back to Captain. But by then it might be too late. If the Drugs are here on the island I'm sure it's getting ready to get devided and split up in more portable amounts."

"I don't know Ruben, sounds like you want us to make the bust ourselves. I don't think that's such a good idea."

He turned to look at you, seeing the concern in your eyes.

"We won't do anything to jepordize the mission let's just assess the situation and gather evidence."

There was somthing in his eyes. He really wanted to do this.

"Fine, let's find this submarine of yours."

It was later in the evening when you choose to search the bay for a 100 meter submarine, lurking in the calm waters, however with no luck of finding it.

"They can't hide it underwater, another ship might run into it." Ruben said. "But what place could be big enough to hold a submarine, let alone hide it from an island full of tourists?"

"The caves at the golden cliffs!" You exclaimed. It's where Alejandro's family had taken you kayaking a couple of days ago. You never entered the dark caves with the kayaks, but surley they appered large enough to hide a submarine.

"Fuck Y/N, what would I do without you?"

You and Ruben traced the submarine to a hidden cove on the coast of the island, where it was anchored deep in the water.

"I can't believe it." You laughed. Ruben was right all along.

"We'll have to report back to the agency once we get our hands on the evidence. Call captain Harlow and tell him to prepare the team to demand a warrant for the arrest of Alejandro Martinez."

"Ruben your seriously not thinking about going down there are you?"

He looked eager to investigate further.

"Y/N, entering the ship is the only way I'll get a hold of the evidence that we need. Trust me, I won't be long."

Trust wasn't the problem, you thought.

Ruben took notice of this too, how your steps altered, your expression indecisive. All because you didn't want him to enter the ship and leave you behind.

"Hey." Ruben closed the gap between you, letting his hand stroke your cheek.

"Ruben I don't want you going down there."

"I know. " He nodded. "But I have to, it's our chance to finally put this guy behind bars."

"I know but..."

"You won't lose me Y/N. We're partners, remember?"

You smiled as his thumb swiped across your bottom lip. Either it was you who tilted your head up to kiss him or the other way around, him tilting down to kiss you. Nonetheless, you were kissing, a real kiss, soft and sweet.

You lips parted with the echoing sound of the cave, Ruben's forhead knocking against yours.

"Wait for me here." 

You nodded. "Okay."

As you made your way closer to the submarine, you suddenly heard the sound of footsteps behind. You and Ruben turned to see the shadow of a burly man, sneaking up on you.

"You're not supposed to be here!" The man growled, pulling out a gun.

He stepped into a spring of light, revealing his face. It was Andrés, Andrés Fierro.

"Alejandro won't be happy to know that you're here."

You and Ruben acted quickly, drawing your own weapons and taking cover behind a nearby boulder. You exchanged a quick glance, and then Ruben nodded.

"Ready?" he whispered.

You nodded, heart pounding in her chest. "Ready."

The battle was intense, with bullets flying through the air followed by the loud echoes exploding in the distance. You and Ruben had Andrés Fierro cornered. But as you made your way closer to the submarine, you suddenly felt a sharp pain in your shoulder.

"Ruben..."

You crumbled to the ground seeing the wound from the stray bullet.

Ruben saw the look of shock on your face and rushed to your side, pulling you behind a nearby boulder.

"Y/N, no!" he shouted, his voice filled with panic. "You've been hit!"

"Don't let him get away!" You said through gritted teeth. "He'll blow our covers."

Ruben looked conflicted, but he knew there was only one right thing to do.

"I'll be okay," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "Just finish the mission."

Ruben nodded, his eyes filled with determination. He knew that he had to get to the submarine. With a fierce cry, he charged forward. You heard two gunshots and the crumbling shouts of a man. The cave fell silent, however you were never in doubt, Ruben had killed Andrés Fierro.

[ashiemochi]

tangerines and oranges - lsk

✠ tangerines and oranges ↳  don't they both taste the same? ➶pairing: ID! Leon S Kennedy x (FEM) Reader ➶genre: angst to fluff ➶Content includes: contemplating suicide, mild mention of sex, super old writing like this shit was written in 2018, some won't make sense and that's okay, might find her/she pronouns instead of you bc my proofreading skills are dogshit <3 ➶WC: 1.9k A/N: short and sweet blurb whilst I work on the smut one!! shouldn't take too long - might post it tomorrow <3

The kettle softly whistled in the background, the sound echoing in the kitchen where you sat. Today was probably one the worst day you had ever gone through. Time itself seemed so slow, stretching ever so widely just to irritate you. It was like nature as a whole was against you just for shits and giggles.  

Even the thought of hiring a hitman to take care of you had crossed your mind; just a quick and silent death. You wouldn’t mind seeing God or burning in Hell if it meant you could leave Earth for a bit. You wondered why you were even breathing in the first place.

You didn’t sign up for this Life thing.  

Your tired eyes blinked lazily at the tiny eight-legged-demon-from-Hell, unfazed as it just used its freaky long legs to walk along the counter. You would’ve screamed bloody murder, packed your bags, ran out of the flat, and burned it down.

But you didn’t.

Tilting your head slightly at it, your dead eyes bore at it.  A question ran through your mind. Was it poisonous, you wondered? 

Finally, your mind seemed to slowly rewind everything that happened today.

Your alarm clock decided to give you the middle finger and not ring like it was supposed to, causing you to miss the train to your job. Your stomach continued making grumbling sounds, incredibly disappointed with the fact that it didn’t get its breakfast nor did you have the money to buy lunch.  

Your clumsy co-worker had tripped over his shoelaces again, causing your papers to get showered with coffee. Your boss almost popped a vein at how the logo you designed looked more like a tangerine than an orange; you didn’t even get the chance to remind him that they both look the same. While printing out a paper, the printer decided to swallow the paper to oblivion with a big fuck you.  

One of your clients was a dick wad of a boomer who has the tendency to remind you each day that technology is killing the environment but then requests another digital painting of his dog.

You lost count of how many times he had requested the same painting of the same dog. Later you learned that he can be forgetful. Hence the constant reminders of how the very evil technology is killing the very innocent generation. 

You had forgotten that you had a presentation today and ended up getting scolded by your uptight boss in front of all of your co-workers. That resulted in extra work and a late-night shift.

You wondered if the clumsy co-worker had cursed you since when you got your cup of coffee, you accidentally hit it, sending it all over your clothes. 

At night, after everyone had left to go to their warm and lovely homes, you had to stay in the office with your boss and his wife.

Even your headphones couldn’t block out the disgusting, lips-smacking, and probably even skin, noises. You could swear that they would repopulate Earth worldwide if they would stop using condoms. 

 

Your sister called you, telling you that your parents aren’t going to be able to attend this year’s Christmas. You had to redesign the logo again and show it to your boss, who was, unfortunately, three inches deep into his wife when you opened the door.

At that moment in your life, you deeply wished that God would bleach out your eyes or miraculously make you blind.  

And God answered your prayer; by making you accidentally set a heavy file on your specs. You cringed visibly at the cracking sound. 

Hoping you’d catch the train before the weather would decide to give you a middle finger; you got caught under the heavy rain that soaked you to the bone, making you look like a street rat.

Curse the weather and its indecisiveness.

By the time you had gotten home, your stomach was beginning to ache for food, almost internally stabbing itself.  

And there you were, sitting on the counter with your damp sweater and messy, wet hair. Blinking once more, the eight-legged monstrosity had vanished. The memory itself of the day made your body’s function slow even more, making you slump slightly.  

Tomorrow was another day and you still had work to do.

Feeling very overwhelmed, your vision blurred with tears behind your cracked specs. Taking in a trembling breath, you brought your hand up to run it through your knotted hair. You winced slightly at a new forming bruise on the back of your head that you had gotten when your head hit the door on your hurried way out of your boss’s office.  

The entire universe was against you at this point.

You let out a shaky sigh, hoping that taking deep breaths would assist you with containing your tears, but even that was failing. Oh, how you wished you could just vanish to the ends of the universe.  

The sound of keys jiggling and the front door opening caused your heart to skip a beat. His deep and loving voice reached your ears in a floating melody.

You wanted to greet him, but feeling your body aching and it might as well be dead; you just sat there on the counter.  

“Y/N, I'm home.” 

The lump in your throat would be a dead giveaway if you even utter a simple letter, but then you heard his footsteps getting closer to the lit kitchen. You barely looked at him when he made his presence known.  

His smile dropped as his eyes scanned you from head to toe.

Your once soft orange-coloured knitted sweater now had a big dark brown stain. Your black skirt had smears and dots of what seemed like a correction pen. Both of your socks were intact and well, but your left sock wasn’t even attached to your inner belt, making it fall and roll beneath your knee while the other was all the way up your thigh.  

Your hair might as well be a birds’ nest and your face was just tired. Not only did that make him worry, but the tears behind your broken specs were now threatening to escape.  

“Y/N?” Leon questioned, getting worried by the second.

You only sniffled, taking a deep breath before letting out a small but tight hi, whilst casting your eyes away. 

His brows furrowed as he walked into the kitchen, making his way to the counter to put the white plastic bag that he was holding. He seemed as if he was quietly waiting for you to speak out but taking notice of how hard you were gripping the edge of the counter to the point your knuckles would resemble the white of the snow, he knew you were holding back.  

“Sweetheart, what happened?”

You could hear the worry oozing from his lips as he moved towards you, trying to take a good look at your face. Your shoulders slightly shrugged as your teeth bit down onto the bottom of your lips, setting your eyes on the kettle.  

You didn’t feel like talking at all, only praying that you would get sniped out of this God-awful day. His hips settled between your legs and your tears were just teasing you at this point when his big hands gently cupped your cheeks, making your eyes meet.  

His azures immediately softened when he saw the broken and exhausted look etched on your face. A frown reached his lips when he noticed the lightening shape of the cracks in your specs and with the tips of his fingers; he gently removed them, giving him a clear look at your eyes.  

You cussed internally when a tear rolled down your cheek, betraying you.

“Honey, did something happen?" Leon asked softly, as if afraid he'd break her, "Why are you crying?”

Your bottom lip trembled as the lump in your throat was getting heavier to swallow. Finally, you looked at him behind the thick walls of your tears and your cheeks flushed red at the close proximity.  

“Today sucked so... Fucking bad...” You uttered weakly, your voice seemed to be tight and squeezed.

Leon blinked at this and you broke down, allowing your tears to run freely down your reddened cheeks. Without even hesitating, his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close to his embrace. 

Your cries were weak and small but filled and etched with pain as your fingers gripped the back of his blue suit jacket. Ever so slowly, his fingers tangled your hair between them, lightly pushing you closer to him.  

It seemed like an eternity just being in his arms but you felt incredibly safe and invisible to the world. For once, all your bottled-up emotions for this day were poured through your tears. Even when your tears had stopped, only leaving behind a heaving chest with minor hiccups, you still stayed in his embrace.  

“You ready to talk about it?” The richness in his voice made your body almost melt against his warmth.

Pressing your face into the crook of his neck, you ever so slightly nodded, letting out a small hum. You stayed like this for a good few seconds before pulling away slightly. 

His blueblue orbs were filled with love as he gave you a gentle smile, wiping away your tears with his thumb. He leaned in, pressing a lingering and loving kiss on your forehead.

Suddenly, the kettle began whistling loudly and both of them looked at it. Leon moved away to turn the stove off and he noticed a mug with the chocolate and milk powder jars and a small cup with a teaspoon beside it.   

“Hot chocolate?” He questioned, looking at you from over his shoulders.

You nodded silently, using your sleeves to wipe away the remaining of your tears as you sniffled quietly.

He hummed, opening the cupboard as he asked, “How about you change and I’ll make us hot chocolate?” 

You looked at him, “Aren’t you tired from today’s training?” She asked, already feeling needy.

Leon took out his favourite mug, “Not really,” He shrugged, “And no.”

Leon ended it, sternly before setting his eyes on you, “You’re not a burden to me, Y/N. Never was and never will be.”

It’s like he had read your mind as he returned to the task at hand.

“You had a bad day with your uptight boss, and I’m guessing that coffee stain is by your clumsy co-worker.” 

You looked down at your sweater as if you had just realized it was there before letting out a breathy chuckle.

“Ah, no... It was me this time.” You admitted, softly and he let out a sound of amusement, stirring the hot drink of Heaven as he turned around to look at you.

“Seems like he’s rubbing off on you.”  

“Oh, shut up...” You rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless.

His chest rumbled a bit with his chuckle as you jumped down to the ground. Wrapping your arms around his slim waist, you gazed up at him with such adoration in your eyes.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love you?” You sighed dreamily and he stared into the distance, pretending to think deeply about your question.  

“Huh, I don’t know, care to remind me?” Leon looked down at you, slightly bumping his nose against yours.

The corners of his eyes crinkled with his grin when you got flustered. Pressing a peck on your lips, Leon gestured to the corridor.

“Go change. I feel like your boss did something incredibly stupid today.” 

You let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh, you don’t even know...” 

[fabbyf1]

13/27/29/34/41/59 ~~~♡

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I don't listen to music while I'm ACTUALLY writing (because my lil pea brain cannot read or write with music on. it makes my brain go brrrrrrrr) BUT I listen to music A LOT over the course of the fic.

I build myself a little Spotify playlist for each fic, and I add songs to it that I think remind me of the characters/plot/that story specifically. They're all private playlists because they're small and have many repeating songs, so they wouldn't be fun to listen to, but I like to look back on them.

27. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

God.

Just one?

The HTML for AO3.

In my real life I work in IT/Software. HTML shouldn't make me cry as much as it does. I should be better at this.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I work really hard on my characterization and realism. Fics, to me, are great because they can be anything. They can be totally out of the realm of normal, or they can be so fucking ordinary that you're like YASSS BABY YOU ATE BREAKFAST AND THEN WHAT? DID YOU PEE? DID YOU GO FOR A WALK? DID YOU SAVE THE WORLD???? GIVE US NOTHING YASSSS!!!! you know?

I don't think there's any wrong way to write a fic. But for me, personally, I love writing realistic things, and my main hope is that people can actually hear the character's voice and believe they'd actually do what I wrote. Especially since it's RPF and you know what the actual person sounds like/acts like.

So if you can ever hear my characters and it sounds like something the actual person would say... please tell me so I can cry. Thank you.

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Interesting....

My sister reads my fanfics, and she told me once (devastatingly) "it's so funny because I'm reading this, but all I'm hearing is you" and I gasped and gagged and threatened to jump off the roof because. sweet, baby sister of mine... you're reading my porn.

please don't ever imagine me saying these things.

BUT I GUESS THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTION, HUH? Idk. I also use humor to deflect in almost every situation (re: above) and I think my characters do too.

As for real-life situations, probably not many. My life and the life of an F1 driver are (get a load of this) different. I know, I know, gasps all around.

(i pay taxes)

41. Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

Right now, I'd say Charles in my latest fic (that's being posted sometime later this week/weekend). I've grown so attached to him over the last month or so writing this fic, and since it's all told from his POV throughout many years of his life (omg spoiler lmaoooo) ... he's become a part of me.

But if we're talking stories already posted to AO3, I'd say Max in Vapor. He was great. Top lad. Lil horny fella, but damn he was so wholesome at the end of the day.

59. Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

I haven't, but mostly because I shake under pressure. If I had an actual deadline, or had to follow an actual plot or challenge, I would sob the entire time. I'm not built for that.

[m0chaminx]

Sersi | Love and War

part two : part three : part four : part five : part six

*•.¸♡Request : Hi can you do a series of the reader and sersi married in 1940’s and sersi leaves because the reader is mortal and goes to join the war with Steve. - reader does not know - Then the reader becomes a super soldier and is in the ice like Steve and sersi reaction to the reader death. The reader gets out of the ice and joins the avengers but never dates anybody else as they still love sersi. Then endgame happens and instead of Steve the reader goes back in time to see sersi only for her not to be there and spend all there life alone. When they in hospital suffering from dementia sersi come to visit the reader(like Peggy in civil war). The reader says how familiar sersi looks like and tells her how she went back in time to see sersi but she was not there. Sersi cries and the reader recognises her and they hugs for the last time and as she leaves the reader room . The reader dies and sersi pain because of that as people say captain something is dead.

*•.¸♡Prompt : none

*•.¸♡𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 : swearing, sexual implications

*•.¸♡Paring : Sersi x GN!reader

I tried to write as gender neutral as possible but because men were the only ones allowed to fight in the war it was kinda difficult

*•.¸♡𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 : Sersi was the most beautiful girl to exist, and she chose to marry you. It was a perfect life until you were drafted to the war.

*•.¸♡words : 796

*•.¸♡tagged : @thefictionalgemini

She was beautiful, a downright doll, the most perfect woman you had ever seen, she was an angel. Sliding next to her as she rested at the bar you called for the bartender. "Evening Larry can I get bourbon and a second of whatever the lady is having," You sweet-talked, looking over to the woman.

"A sweet talker yeah?" The lady asked straining on her bar stool.

"Anything for a doll like you," You said sweetly making the girl chuckle lightly. "Can I get a name dove?"

"Hmmm, maybe," The lady said taking the drink that was placed in front of her. "Gotta tell me yours first hun."

"Y/N," You spoke softly bringing the cold drink up to your lips.

"Sersi," She stated sweetly.

"Ah, so you're the one that inspired the Greek gods," You teased making Sersi blush.

"Oh I don't know about that," Sersi said nervously.

"Well, your absolutely stunning and you seem to be a very smart woman," You complemented noting the blush darkening against her cheeks. "So I say you are a goddess."

"You're very flirtatious," Sersi pointed out.

"In many a thing," You insisted. "If I may, I can show you."

-*TWO YEARS LATER*-

Sersi pressed a kiss to your forehead making you stir awake. "Mmm, good morning darling," Sersi cooed laying over your chest.

"Mornin' doll," You whispered. You took her face in your hands pulled her down to kiss you. "You're up early dove."

Sersi climbed off you, wearing your shirt from last night, it hung just above her knees. You rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed, sliding your hands up her legs. "I made breakfast," Sersi announced tapping her fingers on your shoulders.

"Hmmm, aren't you a peach," You teased. Sersi pulled you up and dragged you to the kitchen, setting you down at the counter. "So what did you want to do today doll?"

"Up to you, here, eggs and bacon," Sersi smiled. "And a coffee." You hummed kissing Sersi again.

"I love you, baby, you the best girl anyone could ask for," You complemented. Sersi sat next to you pulling her hot tea towards her.

"You should probably put a shirt on before we go anywhere," Sersi teased, indulging in her honey tea.

"Hm, maybe you shouldn't have stolen it," You nudged your shoulder against hers and she giggled at you. The knock at the door but you both stop and you dropped the cutlery on the counter. "I'll get it doll." You slid from your seat, walking over and pulling the door open. The mood dropped and so did your smile. "Morning Coronel."

"Morning lad, I'm terribly sorry," The Coronel handed over a piece of paper. "I'll see you in a few days." The man sadly smiled and you closed the door.

"Hun? What's wrong?" Sersi called rushing to your side. "Baby?"

"I um," You paused to run a hand down your cheek. "I've been drafted." Sersi's eyes widened in surprise and took the letter from your hand. Sersi took your hand and pulled you into her chest. "I have to."

"What if you didn't?" Sersi asked pulling your head up to look up at her. "What if we ran away?" You squinted up at her and stood up.

"Look I don't want to do this as much as you but," You paused to look around you. "If we leave we can never come back, our family would be seen as cowards." You walked over to Sersi, taking her face gently in your hands. "Sers, there's a war. I can't leave my boys out there on their own."

Sersi huffed turning away from you. "Sers, Sersi!"

You puffed sitting down on the couch rubbing your fingers against your temple. You read over the draft not again and sunk into the couch.

*•.¸♡¸.•*

"Hey, you good there?" Steve Rodgers asked sitting beside you as you read over the note in your hand. "From your gal?"

"She's not mine anymore," You said solemnly. Steve nodded with sad eyes patting your shoulder and walking to the door.

"Remember no drinking," Steve called. "We got a procedure tomorrow."

right. It had completely slipped your mind, the super-soldier serum. You were excited the first time you heard it.

You could win the war quicker and go back to Sersi, but the letter that was delivered to you that morning made you break. You looked at the not in your hand, reading over the last words again.

I can't be with someone who rushes in with no thought. You were my true love but I cant wait for someone who is going to die.

I love you Y/N, goodbye- Sersi.

You swallowed your tears leaning back into the bed, clutching the note in your hand, "Love you Sers."

ﾟ°☆Page navigation

[khaleesiofalicante]

bestie do you really think it's funny to make me cry?

OK WHERE DO I START AUJHUJHDSDUJHFV

deep bre-INCOHERENT SCREAMING

That's it. that's all I have to say.

THEY PASSED THE CHILD PROTECTION BILL I'M GONNA BE CRYING IN A CORNER IF ANYONE NEEDS ME

All those shadowhunters who ran back to Idris I hope you starve to death there. have fun!

Anjali is so awesome OH MY GOD I LOVE HER ALREADY

Rafael is THAT kid I see...it suits him so well.

It had been two very long years stuck in this small office room. But every time Alec saw the way David giggled when Lexi called her father Jalapeno poppers or some other equally ridiculous name, Alec knew it was worth all the trouble.

THIS OMG I'M NOT OK

Alec wondered if that’s why so many leaders before him had been awful. It was easy to be a bad leader. But it took effort to be a good one.

This is so true...I'm so proud of him...

Dani...bestie THAT IMMORTALITY CRISIS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME. I know it's gonna happen but I was having a very good day. why do you hurt me in such ways... (I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm mentally unstable after the way I screamed reading)

“Anjali,” Diego sighed. “What have I told you about doors?”

“Knock them down?”

“I said knock on them!” Diego corrected, shaking his head. “Not knock them down!”

I'm in love.

HUHYUHKSDYKFVYUFVYU ALEC'S CONSUL VOICE I'M SCREAMING

SIMON BESTEST!! HIM SORTING THE STUDENTS INTO THESE GROUPS I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! AND ANJALI BESTIE GOOD LUCK AT BEATING THE SEELIES!! (good luck with stealing the weapons)

well, Rafael do you perhaps have a little crush? (Grammarly ik I'm writing in lowercase stfu)

ok ok I know this is pretty sad but every time someone gives Magnus or Alec the "you haven't talked to him yet?" look I start laughing-

ALEC'S SO CLUELESS ABOUT MAX AND DAVID I CANT-

“So, you are just going to leave me here and go to York then?” Max demanded now; all puppy dog eyes. “Like my mom left me at the academy?”

Yeah. He took the news a little too well.

MAX PLAYING THE ADOPTED CARD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Is it because you don’t like me?” Max pouted again. “Like my mom…Who left me all alone.”

“You can’t play the adopted card with me, you lil shit,” Rafael laughed. “I’m adopted too.”

I'M SO IN LOVE LEAVE ME ALONE

AWW MAX SEEING THE INSTITUTE AND IMMEDIATELY GOING "David would love this" ISTG THIS KID I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Weren’t you listening to a podcast on Mayan Civilization during breakfast?” Alec raised an eyebrow.

“Bapak said it’s historically accurate!” Rafe argued.

“Bapak is not that old!” Alec countered.

“Maybe he is,” Max said, analyzing the paintings on the walls. “Maybe you don’t know it.”

“Excuse me, I know how old my husband is,” Alec said indignantly.

“Then where are the receipts dad?” Max asked. “Show us the receipts!”

Where are the receipts, Alec? EXACTLY!

THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE HAS CAUGHT ON TO MAX'S VERY OBVIOUS CRUSH

“I think he likes David,” Rafe whispered.

“Of course he does,” Alec whispered back. Why were they whispering? “David is a sweet boy.”

“No. I think he ‘likes him’ likes him,” Rafael giggled.

Alec looked at his son sharply. “But-He is..Da..They are children!”

“You’ve never heard a childhood crush?” Rafe grinned.

“No, I was too busy…studying,” Alec sniffed.

“That’s not what I heard,” Rafael bit his lip. “I heard you had a thing for boys in motorcycle jackets.”

“Okay that’s it! You are not allowed to hang out at Hotel Dumort anymore,” Alec said.

Really Alec? Studying? REALLY???

MAX AND RAFE RACING TO THE TRAINING ROOM!!!

the reference to the infernal devices...I'M GONNA KILL THE ALREADY DEAD STARKWEATHERS! I'M ABOUT TO DO SOME NECROMANCY SHIT TO BRING THOSE FUCKERS BACK JUST TO KILL THEM SLOWLY

Hugs max it's gonna be ok buddy.

In that moment, Alec remembered all the talks.

He remembered how his mother had lectured Izzy about not going out alone late at night, but she hadn’t said anything to Jace or Alec.

He remembered the way Jem spoken quietly to Mina in soft Mandarin about how people might call her names, but he hadn’t said anything to Kit.

He remembered the way Julian had told Ty to be careful about kissing his boyfriend in public, but he hadn’t said anything to Dru.

I hate this so damn much. I hate it. It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here.

Sorry for that just got really heated for a second there.

NO NOT THE NIGHTMARE. BABY NO

DAVID MY CHILD!! OMG, HE'S GONNA TAKE UP ARCHERY SOMEONE HOLD ME WHILE I CRY!

“This is who you are,” David said, his voice oddly soft now. Softer than usual. “And you’re beautiful.”

Alec blinked at that.

“Blue,” David said quickly. “I meant you’re blue. Uh, yes.”

BESTIE I SAW WHAT YOU SAID THERE. WE ALL DID

Also, alec sitting outside max's room...IM GONNA-

“David is in there,” Alec whispered. “I just wanted to…check…if everything was okay.”

“Alexander, are you spying on our child?” Magnus demanded. “Without me???”

“What? No! I-”

“Move over!” Magnus sank down next to him. “What are they saying? Are they kissing?”

“WHAT? They are not kissing!” Alec said in alarm. “Wait. Are they???”

He couldn’t hear anything now. Alec panicked.

“I haven’t talk to the kids about kissing yet,” Magnus pointed out. “We can’t talk to Max without talking to Rafael first.”

“Wait. Is Rafael kissing people???”

“Rafael is not kissing people,” Rafael replied as he walked past them to the kitchen. “Also, you guys are shit at whispering.”

Alec rolled his eyes at him and turned to Magnus. “It’s stressful enough that we need to talk about racism in the shadow world. Now we need to talk about kissing??”

“And other stuff,” Magnus chuckled.

Alec groaned into Magnus’ shoulder. “By the angel. Fine. We’ll just tell them there is no kissing. Until they are 30.”

“Hypocrite,” Rafael coughed into his hand as he walked back to the table with a bag of chips.

THIS WHOLE SCENE OH MY GOD.

And srsly alec? 30? really? whips out the extract "kissed" from cassie's website According to my files here-

“And David?”

“Yes, sir?”

“The bedroom door stays open from now on.”

David blinked, his cheeks pink. “I…What?”

“Door stays open,” Alec said, lowering his voice, just a register. “Is that understood?”

AYY ALEC DAD MODE YUCDUHDFHFUHJIUHC THIS IS SO AMAZING IM GONNA SCREAM

Alec advising David with the bow is so close to my heart...IDK WHY IT JUST IS

That conversation...PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK I HOPE HUMANS GO EXTINCT BECAUSE I SURE AM READY TO DIE SO LET'S TAKE THE EARTH DOWN-

“Why don’t shadowhunters have acne?”

"What?" Alec blinked.

“Their skin is like so freaking perfect and smooth and they can just freaking go through puberty without a one freaking pimple and don’t even get me started on the freaking dimples and then-”

Magnus started laughing. Alec felt a little confused.

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS !!!!! THAT DAMN ANGEL BLOOD

That part about how we normalize these little things which are actually hurtful...I didn't realize that. I guess we really do, huh? This just made me want to be more careful with others and if I feel others do this with me, to stop them and correct them.

I loved this chapter so much. You're such a great writer.

I wanted to share something of my own now!! I FINALLY GOT MY COPY FOR RWARB!!!! I told my parents it was a thriller about how the first son and the prince forge a friendship and discover secrets about the government and the monarchy-

The place I bought it from sent me a very cute bookmark. It's a pride bookmark and it's just my first ever pride merch and I'm close to tears. Let's just say my family isn't the most accepting so this bookmark's really precious to me

Sorry, the quality isn't the best. I was in a hurry. It's almost 4 am now I'm gonna try and sleep (I'm gonna reorganize my bookshelf). See you on Tuesday!!

Thank you so much. I love reading your comments. They are so honest and full of life. You are going to LOVE rwrb. It's such a good book and it's so romantic and raw and perfect. Lmao about your parents. What they don't know can't hurt them ;) And I loooooooooove your bookmark. Be gay. Do crime.

PS -

"It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here."

THIS IS THE MAIN POINT. YOU GOT IT. SO CONGRATS <3

[spookymultimedia]

A Summer to Remember Ch4

CW: internalized homophobia

the f slur and queer used as a slur

[Ned Pov]

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of birds early in the morning. It was still dark outside. I looked down at Maude who was spooned into my arms. I recalled the conversation we had last night. As much as I wanted to hide from it, it was clear that I was homosexual. . .a queer. The word queer made me wince for some reason. I was gay, I was a gay man. It made too much sense. I bit my lip suddenly remembering something that happened in my youth. I remembered being in a group of.  . . secular non-Christian people. It was the early 70s and no one knew where I was. They didn't have to know. It was simple teen curiosity; there was a desire to explore the world that was kept away from me. Again, I always had an innate curiosity to understand. It's impossible for a person to be perfectly free from sin. It was only human nature to have sinful tendencies. What I'm trying to say is I tried marijuana. It wasn't that bad. I actually felt less stressed than I  usually was but let's not focus on that. There was this boy. This boy who was good with the guitar. He had long hair and wore blush from time to time. He called himself bisexual. I remembered how comfortable I had gotten with him one afternoon where we all were hanging out by a river. I remember the smoke and the lesbians who had made love in the shallow water. There were s'mores and homemade tea. By all logic I should have felt scared I was there; I wasn't. 

        I got up close to him by my own will, I remember. He asked me if I had ever kissed a boy before. I hadn't. He asked if I wanted to. Despite the quiet guilt in my soul I nodded. We kissed and kissed again and again until I got a hang of the rhythm. I liked it. The more I reflected on the memory, I remembered how much I enjoyed it. I stared at the window thinking while watching the warm glow of sunrise touch the curtains. I really am gay aren't I?

      I looked down when I felt Maude move and wake up. She stretched her arms and legs and blinked awake. She smiled at me, "Good morning." 

          "Mornin." 

She pressed a small kiss on my cheek and sat up. 

       "You don't have to do that kind of stuff to me if you're not comfortable." 

            "Hm? Oh. .I'm sorry it just felt natural I don't know. Are you uncomfortable?"

    "No, not at all. . .shouldn't I be uncomfortable?"She shrugged. "It doesn't mean anything inherently romantic to me. . .does that sound silly?" 

 I shook my head, "I don't think so. .but I get what you mean."

She rubbed her eyes and played with her hair. 

      "So. . when you said you where gay last night do you mean. .?"

         "That I'm a. . . lesbian? Yeah, yeah I think I'm a lesbian. Sounds right." 

  "That's just lovely Maude."

She frowned, "Is it? I. .thought it wasn't right to be. .-"

     I laid there thinking for a minute, "Is it really wrong?"

        "I'm not sure. . "

"It's just love. I can't see what's so wrong about it. . . Maude I. .I kissed a boy when I was younger." Why did I suddenly feel ashamed? It was just a kiss. Imagine what my uncle would say. He'd probably call me a f*gg*t or something. What would Reverend Lovejoy say? I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

     "Oh? Hm. . . was it nice?"

"Yeah. ." I stared at the wall again.

        "Are you going to tell them?"

"Me?"

    She nodded.

"I'm not sure. You?"

        "I'm too scared."

"I understand." I pet her upper back to comfort her.

[Maude pov]

      After breakfast we followed Tim and Helen led us to the Rock climbing area. There was this gigantic wall in front of us. It had multicolored rubber rocks that I adored. It wasn't my first rodeo with rock climbing. I had climbed with Ned plenty of times. I smiled up at them with anticipation. I had on some white tee from a church event and

jean shorts that reached my knees.

"Now this exercise is supposed to encourage teamwork and support in each other. When this world brings you down you need to have someone to encourage you." Helen explained as Timothy put on a harness. Helen looked at me puzzled as I put on one myself.

        "What? It's not on backwards is it?"

"Oh, no it's just that. . ." She trailed off looking at my harness. She bit her lip lightly for a second before her concentration quickly returned. "Well I was going to have Ned climbing the wall but that's fine that works. . .Maude, are you sure you can?"

      "I've done this many times." I smiled and laughed. 

"Oh. Okay." She said a bit surprised.

Was it just me or did she blush? Was she checking me out. . .? No, no it had to be my imagination. I dismissed any other possibility of why she looked at me like that.

      Once me and Tim were set up we started our climb. I made a speedy start grabbing onto each rock I saw available. It was fairly easy. I made a mental note of the colors. I loved them. Red pink yellow pink orange red blue green red turquoise. I focused on the rocks and moving.

  "You got this Maude!" Ned cheered. I smiled and kept on climbing. I glanced over at Timothy who was only a couple feet from the ground. It seemed I had more upper arm strength than him. I wouldn't have guessed. 

    "I believe in you Timothy! You're doing great. One at a time." Helen cheered, encouraging him. God bless her, she's so sweet. He nodded and slowly found himself a bit higher. At some point I got stuck. 

     "Go left, use your legs!" Ned coached. I nodded and did as he advised. Tim had caught up with me before I made my way ahead of him again. Before I knew it I was at the very top. 

I sat on the wall and smiled as Ned clapped for me. Helen was clapping too. So cute of her. I stared out at the trees and the shimmering lake as Tim was making the rest of his way up. Do I like Helen? I asked myself. Of course I did, she's been my best friend for years. But, Ned was also mine for longer. Yet, something in her sparkled that hadn't in Ned. Every time I had saw her, things we're better. I felt . .giddy. Oh. . .oh. I do love her. I love her more than anything. My chest had ached. Oh God, I love her. 

   "I'm so proud of you!" I looked down at Helen who was cheering at her husband who loved her too. She loved him. She loves him, not me. She's straight, I think. It didn't matter anyways. I sighed. Still I couldn't help but smile. I was in love and couldn't do anything about it. I wonder how Ned was coping with this yearning. I then faced the wall and quickly leaped my way down. With gravity and my emotions taking over me I couldn't help but laugh. I landed on the ground giggling. "That was fun." I snorted and covered my mouth blushing. But then she laughed too. "Oh Maude, that's adorable." She put an arm around my shoulder. Oh God I could kiss her right now. She's so close yet so far from reach. So I just stood there blushing and smiling. Tim slowly but surely came down with a bit of a dizzy stumble. Ned was close and caught him. For a moment the two men were arm in arm. Tim smiled bashfully and a tad embarrassed. 

       "Thanks." 

    Ned stared at him a moment before helping him stand-up straight. "You did great, Reverend." Neddy said smiling. The poor thing. He must feel the same ache in his soul. He has to. 

[Ned pov]

          Later that day I found Timothy by the river. He was just sitting there watching it flow. I had to ask. I needed to know what he thought on the matter. Despite everything, I felt in my soul it was right and only natural. But I just needed to know. You always need to know, it'll be death of you, Ned. I sighed and walked up to him before sitting by him on the grass by the sore. "Hi Reverend."

      "Ned, we're friends, you can just call me Timothy. Really I insist."

         "Of course. Timothy," his name was so intense. Calling him by his name was so tender and intimate it almost felt wrong. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Well, I at least wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter."

         "What is it?" He looked at me slightly exhausted. I felt a pang of guilt. He probably wanted a break from being asked things everyday. It had to be exhausting. But I needed to know. I knew it was important.

    "What do you think about homosexuality?"

                   "Hmm. . ." He hummed and looked out on the lake. "Sexual deviance isn't a good thing."

      "Deviance?" I felt a bit hurt. Was it really cheating if my wife knew how I felt. I mean, it would be if I kissed a married man. I wanted to kiss a married man. Am I lusting? Is this sin? The homosexuality couldn't be though. "Is it really deviance??"

    Tim paused to think again. "Well. Hm. There are some verses-"

            "I know, I've heard about them. But I don't think they're talking about homosexuality. It could be just an error. It could be referring to a completely different sin. But if you don't mind my boldness Reverend, I really don't think it's a sin at all."

     He nodded slowly, pensive. 

"There are verses that have forbidden the consumption of some meats that were unsafe at the time. . .hmm. That's not a sin at all anymore. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. Prophets are still human after all." He stared at the water. "I suppose homosexuality isn't so bad. Why, it's not bad at all. I mean everyone feels sexuality . . .right?" He looked a bit confused. I wasn't sure why. Was he gay? No. . . was he?

          "I believe so."

He stared at the water thinking, I assume. I looked at those hands that tempted me. Guilt was burning me alive. 

      "Timothy I've been sinning!"

He looked at me startled at my outburst. 

      "Ned. . Ned, why are you asking me about this? Is. .this why you and Maude are having issues? Are you gay?"

I froze.

        "Ned you said it yourself and I agree, I don't think homosexuality is a legit sin."

"No. I mean, no that's not the issue." I felt my eyes water. 

"Ned. ."

        "I've been lusting after a married man! That's a sin!"

       "Ned. . .are you talking about me? Do you like me that way?" His eyes were wide. 

       "I do." I started to cry. 

"Why are you crying?"

         I looked at him like he was absurd. 

       "It's lusting!"

"Eh, well. You're not acting on it. I'm sure the Lord understands your intentions and will forgive them."

     I shrugged, "I understand if you're uncomfortable. ."

         "Not really. Don't worry about it."

"I just don't want to ruin anything."

          "I understand."

"How long have you felt like this?"

                   "I . .I don't know. Maybe I was born like this." 

      "Born??" He looked confused.

"Well not literally. I mean. I've just always liked men." I rubbed my arm anxiously. I was still trying to make peace with myself.

     Timothy stared at the ground, his eyes furrowed.

 "Like them?"

           "Yeah. Like I've just always wanted to.  . .kiss them and stuff. You know?"

 He slowly shook his head looking a bit lost.

   "I don't understand."

I suddenly felt sick. Did he think my attraction was that weird?

       "It's just the same feeling that you get  with women."

    He fiddled with his hands. He looked really uncomfortable.

    "What's wrong? Is it me?"

"No it's not you.  You're fine Ned I promise. I'm glad you decided to come to me about this." He closed his eyes and bit at his finger gingerly. I had seen him do this a couple times. It was usually when he got stressed or something. "Does Maude know?"

"Yeah. She took it well." 

        "Good." He stood up and walked off.

[thesoggy-1]

breakfast lovers

"what the hell is your deal?"

eggshells drop to the ground

you were cooking me breakfast rather bitterly

i can only remember you being bitter

you buttered me up when you wanted to fuck me

that's the only time you were kind

"are you gonna answer?"

why were you asking me this?

why do you always ask for more?

you had whipped back looking me in the eyes this time

your hair tied back in its normal bun, shaved to the sides

i missed your long hair.

"honey, breakfast is almost ready."

you said with a smile

danish accent for this land was not yours

miles to kilometers

inches to centimeters

fahrenheit to celsius

"how'd you sleep last night? i know you said something about your dreams bothering you again"

no i hadn't

but you knew

frost blue eyes

soft pale skin

and oh yes the dreams. they were bad, too vivid

i was losing you and id never even met you

"how do you like your eggs?"

you had your back turned

you thought i was strong

dark skin, beautiful teeth and eyes

id thought about stealing them.

"i'll put some sugar in your coffee, babe. just let me take care of you"

you were different. i liked it.

you didn't hide you told me things

we were both fucked and we knew that.

god, if only you knew how bad it was

"i saw my dad"

you filled me with dread

i can't remember you anymore

you moved away as i tried to move closer

gore and such. made me want-

maybe i shouldn't write that, not yet.

"and you still don't talk. what's wrong with me"

nothing, it's my fault

but no its not. it yours

your blood, made me this way

your last name

it's not your fault. why can't you be less like him?

you even cook like him. though you are your mothers child

"emily and cameron wanted to see if we wanted to go."

it was never just us, you were scared of me

filipino, gorgeous

shaggy black hair

lips, god your lips

"my mom said she likes you"

this is the last time i'll be here, you're too scared

i can tell

you're nervous, your hands shaking as you flip the pan

no matter how gentle i am

i suppose i'm too loud, too many 'fuck you''s

"i need a ride home"

of course you do, maybe give me my shit back.

you knew it was important

i'm glad it's giving you nightmares

you gave me nightmares

i hate you

"as long as you're happy, baby"

you'd stop cooking, black coffee

please, i'm asking for help.

please please please

don't promote it; i just wanna see myself

do you think i need too?

does it make you hard?

do you get off on suffering? of course you do

“too bad you don't realize"

flipped the toast with a sigh

i'll leave you to think that.

play the fool, i had a feeling you knew

no we laugh about how it happened

maybe I had convinced both of us

"i suppose if you wouldn't have texted--"

yeah yeah you've said it before.

you're such a bitch sometimes

you and your mom probably hate me

i'll see you tomorrow, though

i still love you, friend

"i'm sorry, you're not leaving, right?"

god shut up. you're getting tears in my tea

i'm often bitter but not at people other than myself

but you were an exception.

all you did was not hurt me back.

why aren't you angry

"i still love you"

of course you do.

anxious attachment style was your personality

i hated it, it terrified me.

you were too close yet so fucking far

maybe i'm the crazy one, for helping you

maybe your theories were right, music and pot

maybe you're my soulmate, love and distance

maybe you're the realistic one, near and truthful

maybe you're just like him, awful and tormentous

maybe it was me, loud and secret

maybe it's good i don't have you to take care of, needy and childlike

maybe will be best friends for life, fire and air

maybe i was the crazy one.

"nothing, i just want you to stop"

"thank you, love. and they're getting better now that you're real"

"well done. thank you so much, you know sleeps hard. I love you"

"you're too much like him. you scare me"

"yeah that's fine with me. your mom seems sweet, i'm glad"

"no, you have no regard for me. why would i give you a ride?"

"yeah, haha i guess you're right. i'm glad i did"

"i can't do this. please let me go."

"Breakfast is ready"

-C. Lee

[drethanramslay]

Without You

Pairing: Logan x MC (Lexi Cahill)

Masterlist

Word count: 2.5 K words

Warning: Just a little cursing, here and there and Angst

MC is actually not present in this fic, this is Logan's POV, four months after he had to leave LA

Author's note: I decided to take part in @rodappreciationweek so here is my submission :)) 

Thanks to @choicesarehard @brightpinkpeppercorn and @client-327 for hosting this 💙

Thanks to @mvalentine for pre-reading it❤️❤️

Title inspiration: Without You by Avicii (ft. Sandro Cavazza)

Song: Gone by Blake Rose

Forgive me if I make any mistakes.

The rays of the sun spilled through the crack in my curtains, making the white walls a yellow hue. My eyes were bleary and red rimmed. It had just been moments since I woke up and my hangover struck me like a train wreck, a familiar electric pain behind my eyes.

I shouldn't have drank so much.

I moved my head to only see an an empty bed side. Of course she left. Who would want to stick around after a one night stand?

The hazy memories of last night filtered through my head, making me wince. Another night, another rave, another tray of shots and another chick to bang.

You could call it saturday shenanigans but, this was different.

Everything was different since I left her.

All my days just seem to melt away into a haze of alcohol and drugs... Today, tomorrow, yesterday seems to fuse into this neverending torture, an ache which no matter how much I drink or how many girls I fuck, never fucking ceases to hurt. The only thing which can fix this gaping wound in my heart is Lexi.

But she is not here.

And never will be.

So this is how it has been for the past weeks. Me getting inebriated to new extremes just to numb the pain and to temporarily erase the loneliness before I become sober again.

Because when I'm in those intoxicated wastelands, I'm so out of it that I can almost hallucinate her dancing with me. I can almost smell her strawberry shampoo, tickling my nose. I can almost hear her tinkling laugh.

And in my alcohol induced sleep, I dream of her in my arms the both of us fitting together, like two jigsaw puzzles.

I despise being sober. Because when I am In my senses, the entire load of loss weighs down on me, crushing me and suffocating me. The 'could have been's' and the regret are all a heavy burden on my shoulders.

A small part of me is often wishing, praying and hoping that things could just go back to normal but, deep in my gut I know, that nothing is ever going to be the same again.

Nothing is ever going to be the same, now that she was gone...

How much time does it take to get over people?

It may be a day, a week, a month or a year. There is no definitive time span for getting over someone you loved, someone you cherished or someone who was close to your heart.

I think it depends on how much of an impact the said person had on you or how much of a void that person left in you.

I was the wild and carefree guy, with no strings attached and never saw myself being the one to fall in love because... Let's admit it, love is a vulnerability, a weakness which people don't hesitate to exploit.

But fast forward to four months later, I am in the same category as those emotional pussies crying over a breakup.

Being brought up in foster homes made me grow up quickly. Some houses were good and caring whilst some were harsh. And knowing that I am the most cursed person to walk the earth, I was always was stuck with the shitty households.

Don't believe me? I still have those scars from the fights and the beatings.

Growing up in such a hostile environment, taught me that there is no room for weakness or error and that love and feelings are just some fairy tale myth which is made by philosophical fools to give you a sense of hope.

But, hope is a dangerous thing, two side of the same coin. It can make you and break you.

I don't think I would have survived my childhood but... That's when I fell in love with cars.

It holds a special place in my heart.

The way my adrenaline spikes as the pointer on my speedometer achieves unattainable speeds, the way I feel the purr of my engine resound through my entire body and they way it's just me, my car and the open road... Nobody could ever compare to that sensation of freedom.

Well, that was before I met her.

Lexi Cahill.

I admit it started off as a way to recruit her as an informant, a tool to stay out of prison, another heart to break.

But little did I know that life would pull the fucking reverse uno card on me. But, I'm low-key glad it did.

It's been 4 months since that scum bag was thrown into the jail.

Four months since the crew went its separate ways.

Four months since I walked away from her.

I don't want to let you go...

Those words were on a repeat in his head, like a broken tape recorder and her teary eyes and broken expression is forever burnt into his brain. It was so hard to let her go. The one time I found a reason to stay, a reason to fight for, a reason to stop running, life just fucked it all up.

It was a tussle, a war between what my heart wanted and the logical side of me which just left me exhausted.

In conclusion, heartbreak sucks.

I reach for my phone and switch it on to check the time. But my eyes fall on our prom photo which I had made as my wallpaper. It's really stupid how head over heels I'm in love with her.

But it's the truth.

There is a saying that life gives you only one great love and that many people go for years without that.

I was one of the few lucky people to get that at 18.

But life is not sunflowers and unicorns shitting rainbows. It's rough, it's hard with its a mix of ups and downs. But it seems like mine is set to be on the all time low.

Staggering to the bathroom, I heavily leaned against the counter, my muscles flexing as I gripped the edge. My eyes lifted to see my reflection staring back at me.

I look like a hot mess.

This isn't you Logan... My inner conscience said, which eerily sounded like her.

God, I really must be losing it, huh?

Slowly and painfully I started my morning chores, my body on auto pilot. My mind kept on wandering to Lexi. She would be in Langston by now.

Would she be in that off shoulder sweater of hers, her feather tattoo peaking from underneath the sleeve? Would she be highlighting and colour coordinating her notes like she always did?

Would she have made new friends? Or dare I say a new boyfriend?

Logan stop hurting yourself. I said to myself as I visibly cringed at the thought of someone else having their arms around her.

The idea of someone else kissing her soft lips or someone else holding her hands or someone else running his hands along the curvature of her naked back made me equal parts angry and sad.

Angry for you know, obvious reasons but sad for the life I had to leave behind in LA.

God I hate this existential crisis shit... It's to early to question life.

I dragged myself in the direction of the kitchen, the smell of bacon waking me up. I was shirtless and wearing a pair of sweatpants because I was too fucking tired to wear anything else.

"Look who has decided to grace us with their presence."

"Shut up Carl, it's too early for your bullshit." Raven said as she slapped the top of his head.

I shot her a look of gratitude as I sank into my seat and reached for the plate of pancakes.

Carl and Raven were the closest thing to parents for me. Carl was a tough man with huge muscles, around six feet tall but, he was as goofy as a child. Raven was his girlfriend who was hella intimidating. The kohl lined eyes and the floral tattoo on the side of her shaven head made her look fierce. Both of them were in their early thirties and ran the Detroit Central crew.

We three were in a different crew when I was 15 and they really took a liking for me. They taught me everything I know and they are the family that I always came back too.

I dug into my breakfast, eating slowly and savouring the sweetness of the maple syrup.

"Thank god you are atleast eating now." Raven said as she ruffled my hair and turned towards the sink.

I shrugged and Carl picked up the newspaper to read, settling into his seat. Suddenly, the bell rang which had all of our backs becoming as stiff as a rod.

"Were you expecting someone, darlin'?" Raven asked, trying to peak through the windows.

"Don't get up, I'll do it." Carl said as he picked up the gun on the counter and pushed it into the back pocket of his cargo pants.

I was frozen, terrified. I had been very careful in escaping but me being the reckless fool and getting drunk seven ways to Sunday may have tipped them off.

I'm such a colossal dumbass.

I could hear Carl's gruff voice talking but I couldn't peek at the person on the other side of the door. I just sank further into my seat, hoping that it was some lost person and not the FBI.

"Boy this one's for you." He moved aside and the person I least expected to see walked in.

"You look like shit."

"Good morning to you too, asshole." I rolled my eyes.

Colt walked into the kitchen, wearing his trademark leather jackets and dark jeans. His combat boots made a thud sound with each step which made my headache worse.

"Will you be okay, Lo-lo?" Raven asked, her eyes flitting to the jerk standing in her kitchen.

Colt snorted at the nickname but luckily kept his mouth shut.

"Yep Ra. Meet Colt Kaneko. Colt meet Raven and Carl." I spoke at I stood up and put my dirty dishes in the sink.

"Oh you are Kaneko's boy, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"We heard about what went down in LA. Our condolences. He was a great man."

He gave a nod. It was a sore subject for me as well. That night in the alley, I wished I could take it back. I usually am not one to regret what I spew but whatever I said to Kaneko is another burden I'm gonna carry all my life.

"Also heard about your crew busted the Brotherhood? You were the mastermind behind it right?" Carl said as he crossed his arms.

"As much as I would love to take the credit, it was Lexi who came up with the plan." Colt said his eyes darted towards me, gauging my reaction.

"The newbie? Heard she drives like the wind-"

Hearing her name felt like an iron fist clenching my heart. That name will always be the source of my happiness, my cherished memories and my melancholy.

"Colt let's take this to the backyard, shall we?" Logan spoke up, interrupting them.

He walked to the back door and Colt followed him wordlessly. It a sunny day but a cool breeze blew which provided some kind of relief.

I reached to take out two beers from the cooler and handed him one. Colt raised an eyebrow.

"Beer... At ten in the morning?"

I shrugged as I popped the bottle cap off mine. "It's 5pm somewhere else."

"That's true too. Cheers." We clinked the necks of our bottles and took a sip as we sat down on the patio chairs.

I turned towards him. "So what brings you to Detroit?"

"To see your pretty face?" Colt said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

I snorted. "Always knew you had a thing for me, pretty boy."

"Always knew that you had an ego the size of Jupiter, dickhead. Some things just don't change."

I sighed. "Can't say the same for me through. Everything is different now."

Surprisingly, Colt didn't mock him. He stared down at the bottle in his hands. "Yeah... I can understand. How are you holding up?" He asked as he turned to face me.

I took a huge gulp of my beer before responding, my eyes staring at the mango tree in my neighbor's back yard.

"Not too good. It's been hard for the last couple of months. Kaneko's death, leaving LA and maintaining a low profile... It's been tough."

Life without Lexi is tough.

"Yeah I can understand. I still imagine pops opening the door to wake me up. And don't get me started on the FBI... bunch of bloodsuckers." He muttered the last part.

I snorted. "I'll drink to that."

"Good thing they are off our backs now." Colt spoke eyeing him from the corner of his eyes.

I scoffed. "Bitch please. They are anything but lazy. They are gonna continue hunting us down till the end of time."

"I meant that we are not the top priorities at the moment. Sure Mona was sent to jail but, a little birdie told me that they are after this 'world class' thief at the moment."

"That's a relief I guess."

"Do you know what this means?" He asked taking another sip of beer.

"It's too early for my brain to function. Come to the point, asshole."

"We are rebuilding the crew, dickhead."

My eyes widened. "No way."

"Yup." He said popping the 'p'. He downed the remainder of his beer before standing up. "I'm done repairing the garage. We have a job in two months and I need a crew for that. I already have Ximena on board and now I'm gonna go over to Toby's."

My mind was swimming. Mercy Park Crew was coming back for good.

I looked up at him, suddenly nervous. "What about Lexi?"

He rolled his eyes. "When I said I'm rebuilding the crew, I also meant recruiting Lexi, dumbass."

Oh god.

She is going to come back.

I was frozen in my place once again. I had often asked myself how I would react if I got the chance to meet her again. I always imagined that I would let out the loudest cheer and dance like a mad man.

But this is reality and my thundering heart was a reminder of that.

"Why are you sitting there with your mouth open like a fish? Go! Get your girl."

And that was it. I rushed to my room, put on some decent clothes and haphazardly stuffed my things into my satchel. Grabbing my keys and yelling a quick good bye to Raven and Carl, I was out and in my 2005 Devore GT.

Reving the engine I took off on the roads of Detroit, heading for the highway.

The window was open and the breeze threaded through my unruly hair, making me feel alive. My hands clutched the wheel and my foot pressed down on the accelerator, speeding through the empty streets.

For the first time, in a very long, the roads which felt like a never ending maze for me, were the very ones which were the path to my freedom.

The path to my happiness.

The path to my Lexi.

I hope you liked it 😊

Logan x mc: @kaavyaethanramsey @openheart @skylarklyon @shadowycreatorpaperopera @pixelberryownsme @magicalshepherdtreeprofessor @anotherbeingsworld​

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[captainjanegay]

Where I’m Meant to Be | Stucky | Meet-Cute, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, No powers AU | Chapters 7/? | total 29k words | Ao3

Summary: Bucky is a single dad coming back from a work trip with a very bored, very whiney 7-year-old girl. A mysterious stranger with a kind heart and a notebook full of doodles comes to the rescue.

A/N: It's been... so long since I've updated this fic. I'm sorry but life got in the way and I couldn't bring myself to write anything. Here I come with apologies and hopes that you haven't forgotten about the adventures of Bucky, Alex and Steve. I'm gonna treat you with the longest chapter I've ever written (it's like 5.3k). I hope you'll like it, I got a bit carried away and my space-nerdiness is showing every now and then.

The chapters will probably come very irregularly from now on but I'll try my best not to have too long gaps between each update. I love you all and — as always — thank you so, so much for your continuous support. I cherish every single reader, every single like and every single comment you leave here :')

Chapter 7

(5.2k)

When Monday rolls around, Bucky faces New York’s chilly morning as he makes his way to work. It’s been only a few days since he got sick, but he feels significantly better now. His nose might still be stuffed and his throat might feel a bit scratchy, but he is mostly fine. No more coughing fits, no more fever. And it’s not like he could say no when his boss called him to check how he was doing and ask if he’d be able to come by before Christmas to do some required maintenance work.

But it’s fine, since the work at the Institute has slowed down, many people have already taken their days off for the Christmas break. It’s calmer than usual and Bucky can do whatever he’s supposed to do in peace.

It's a bit past noon and Bucky's mindlessly staring at the progress bar on his screen and enjoys his coffee. The peace and quiet — excluding his Christmas playlist playing in the background — is disturbed by the ringing of his phone. Slightly startled, Bucky looks around, searching for the device. After a quick glance at the screen, he answers the call.

"Hi, Buck!" Steve says, his voice soft and warm. "I hope I didn't wake you up or anything. Just wanted to check up on you, see how you're feeling."

"That's very sweet of you," Bucky says, his lips spreading in a smile. "And I'm fine, thank you. Currently waiting for the data backup to finish so you've disrupted my staring contest with the progress bar."

Steve doesn't appreciate the joke. Instead, he asks, "You're at work?" After receiving an affirmative hum, he lets out a slightly annoyed huff. "Why? You should still be in bed! Three days ago you've been barely able to get up for longer than 10 minutes. You should still rest, Buck."

"It's been six days ago, thank you very much," Bucky answers. "And I'm fine, Steve. I promise. I wouldn't come if I was still feeling sick, but the fever's been gone for a few days," two but Steve doesn't have to know that, "and I'm not coughing anymore. I'm as fit as a fiddle."

"I can hear you sniffle."

"It's the allergies," Bucky lies and that makes Steve laugh, although a bit exasperated.

"You're horrible," he says. "Bet you haven't even eaten breakfast or drink enough water or like... didn’t even wear a hat even though you’re sick."

"I did have a toast while I ran to catch the train. And now I'm having coffee for lunch. And it’s not even that cold."

An honest-to-God gasp escapes Steve's mouth after he hears that. Of course he's a Mr. Healthy Lifestyle, Bucky shouldn't even be surprised.

"How are you even functioning? You gotta take care of yourself, Buck."

Bucky's heart skips a bit. It's nice to have someone worry about him. Even if he's being dragged in the meantime. And it was nice when Steve took care of him and Alex back when Bucky was too sick to do this. Of course, he has people who do that. Clint, Tasha, Scott -- he can always count on them. But somehow it feels different with Steve. Steve hasn't been around for years like the others, he's known Bucky for just a few months and he still decided to offer his kindness and care. This thought made Bucky's heart do somersaults in his chest.

So did the fact that Steve had a nickname to Bucky's nickname. And he's been using it a lot. Bucky really likes it.

"I'm functioning very well, thank you. And so is Alex, because I'm not as hopeless in taking care of her, luckily," Bucky chuckles. Before Steve can't say anything, Bucky adds, "Besides, I've been able to survive 28 years like this so don't be overdramatic. No need to go all mother hen on me."

"Oh, you think this is overdramatic?" Steve asks, amused. "You clearly don't know what me being overdramatic is, pal. This is just some simple, friendly check-in."

"Okay, now I'm kinda curious," Bucky says. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. "Hypothetically, what would one have to do to see what is Steve Rogers's definition of overdramatic?"

It makes Steve let out another laugh. "Careful what you wish for, Buck." It sounds like Steve wants to say something else but there's some noise in the background and his voice becomes distant and inaudible for a moment. When he comes back, he says with a sigh, "Sorry 'bout that. I need to go back to work. I'm glad you're feeling better but eat a proper meal or I'll hunt you down."

"Oh, so no mother hen anymore, were going straight to threats, okay." Bucky nods to himself and Steve huffs out a laugh. "Thanks for the call, Steve. It's very sweet of you. Have a nice day."

"You, too. Say hi to Alex from me."

"I will. Bye, Steve."

.

A small smile is still present on Bucky's face when a few hours later he's picking Alex up from school. It grows bigger when she runs towards him down the stairs, her haphazardly wrapped scarf fluttering behind her. He takes a moment to tuck it properly and then takes Alex's backpack from her.

“How was school today?” Bucky asks as they head home.

“Fine. We played soccer and I scored once!” Alex answers proudly. “Even Adrian didn’t and he’s very good. Maya didn’t want to play ‘cause she says girls shouldn’t play soccer.”

“Jokes on her, because we have a women’s national soccer team and they’re the best. They’re the world champions.”

A gasps escapes Alex’s mouth. “Really? That’s so cool! I want to be a soccer player when I grow up!”

“Not a ballerina, anymore?” Bucky asks, with a small smile.

“No, I’m gonna be a ballerina but I’m gonna play soccer sometimes, too. But that’s after I’ll fly to the moon!”

Bucky only nods and grins at her. He wouldn’t be surprised in the least if she actually pulled that off in the future. There weren’t many things that could stop her since she decided upon something.

“How’s space?” Alex asks, swinging their hands back and forth.

Bucky chuckles. It’s a bit of a tradition at this point. He doesn’t really remember how it started but now she never asks him “how’s work” but it’s always “how’s space?”. Personally, Bucky loves it. It makes him feel like he’s doing much cooler things that he really does.

“Pretty boring, sadly,” he admits. “Didn’t have much to do today and many people are on their breaks so no fun space facts to share today. I chatted on the phone with Steve and he wanted me to say hi to you.”

“Oh, is he coming over today?”

Slightly confused with the question, Bucky shakes his head. “No, he’s not. We just talked on the phone. Why?”

“I don’t know, I thought you liked Steve.”

“Well, I do. I like uncle Scott too but we don’t hang out with him every day, either. Steve has his own life and stuff to do, so we shouldn’t bother him all the time.”

Alex makes a small hum and Bucky’s not sure if it’s a dismissive or an agreeing one. After a moment, she adds, “I bet he wouldn’t mind though. He told me he really likes you.”

“What? When?” The revelation almost makes Bucky stop in the middle of the pavement. The biggest surprise is not that Steve likes him, Bucky has figured out this much after all those times they’ve hung out together. What really takes him aback is that apparently his daughter and Steve are having conversations about him when he’s not there.

“When you were sick and Steve went to ballet class with me. I told him he’s cool and I’m happy you have him so you’re not so lonely. And he said he thinks we’re really cool too and that he likes us a lot.”

This time Bucky slows down and eventually stops. There’s a furrow between his brows when he looks at Alex.

“Why would you think I’m lonely, munchkin? I’m not, I have you and mama, uncle Clint and Scott. And now Steve. I’m more than fine.”

“Well… Okay, maybe I didn’t mean lonely. But sometimes when you have a lot to do and you worry and mama or uncle Clint are busy you do this—” Alex furrows her brows and pouts, apparently imitating a worried Bucky “and you’re quiet and worried. And now you smile even more than you did. You smile all the time when you text Steve.”

For a moment, Bucky only gapes at her, not sure how to react. That’s a lot of information coming at once from his 7-year-old daughter.

“I’m— Well, I’m okay, even if I worry sometimes. And I couldn’t be lonely, having such a sweet little munchkin by my side,” he smiles, bopping her on the nose and getting a smile in return. “But thank you for caring about me, sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back.”

“And I love you to Jupiter!” she answers.

“But not back?” Bucky raises an eyebrow.

“Nah, it’s already so far away, it’s enough.”

The conversation with Alex stays in Bucky’s head for the rest of the day. It’s gnawing at him enough that before he goes to bed, he takes out his phone and calls Natasha.

“How’s my favourite co-parent doing?” she greets.

“Do you have any more co-parents?” Bucky asks instead of answering.

“Nope. That’s what makes you my favourite.” Bucky only sighs so she continues. “Did something happen? You’re usually in the mood for late night conversation when something’s on your mind.”

There’s no point in denying it since Natasha would see right through him. “It’s nothing bad. Apparently Alex thinks I’m lonely.”

“Well, she’s not wrong.”

“What? Tasha, no. I’m not lonely, where did you two get that idea?”

“James, it’s not my fault that you’re an idiot. I know that you have people who love you around. You know that, too. But I know and you also should know — but here’s the ‘idiot’ part — that it might not be enough sometimes. And I’m pretty sure we’ve had a similar conversation like a month ago, so I don’t know why you act all surprised now.”

“Remind me, why did I even call you?”

“Because I am incredible and you value my opinion like no one else’s and also you love me deeply,” Natasha explains dutifully. 

Bucky huffs out a laugh as he sits heavily on the side of his bed. His eyes land on the comic from Steve, still laying on Bucky’s bedside table, propped against the lamp. “Sounds fake, but okay.”

“Did our daughter have any more revelations for you?” Natasha asks.

“Well…,” Bucky hesitates for a moment. “She and Steve gossip about me when I’m not around. And apparently I’ve been smiling more lately. But that’s about it.” 

Natasha hums but even through the phone Bucky can hear that she’s rather amused. 

"What?" Bucky asks.

"I didn't say anything!"

"I can hear you laughing, just say whatever mean thing you're going to say and let's get this over with."

"I'm not gonna say anything mean! I was just wondering when we'd mention Steve in this conversation," she chuckles. "But really. Even your daughter can see that a relationship would be good for you. And that you like Steve a lot. Why not kill two birds with one Steve?"

Bucky sighs. "Because one Steve is also enough to kill this friendship we have."

"Why do you always just automatically assume that things will get fucked? It doesn't have to be the case. I'm serious, you'd better take a grip on yourself and ask him out or I'm back in three days and I'll do this for you. And I'll be as obnoxious and embarrassing for you as I can."

That's actually a pretty horrible threat. She would do that. And it would be both mortifying and horrible to experience for all the involved parties — maybe except Natasha. Bucky laughs, trying to imagine it, but the laugh is short-lived.

"Come on, Nat," Bucky starts after a moment, getting serious. "Steve is great and it's great having him around. But what if I make a move and he's not interested? I don't want to freak him out. Or remember that message I accidentally saw on his computer? He might be seeing someone already or be interested in someone else," Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose. "Plus, I know from experience that no matter how much he might seem to like me, a guy with a kid can turn out to be a bit much for people. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want Alex to get hurt. She adores Steve and I don't know if I can risk it."

"But I'm telling you, nobody's getting hurt anytime soon," Natasha chimes in. "You're overthinking, Yasha. Those are all valid concerns but you know what the counterargument is?" She takes a small break but she's not expecting Bucky to respond. "Steve's a good guy. He likes you. He likes Alex. He came to a primary school dance recital after knowing you for like a week just because you and Alex asked him to. Even if he doesn't want a relationship, it doesn’t mean that your friendship has to end. From all you've told me, he doesn't seem like the kind to trample on your hearts like this. Give yourself some time, but promise me you're gonna think about it, okay? And call me if you work yourself up into an anxious mess again, okay?”

“I will try not to be an anxious mess, but I’ll let you know. And I’ll think about it. Thanks, Tasha.” Bucky says.

“I love you no matter what, you dumbfuck. Bye.”

Bucky barely manages to say it back before she hangs up. He shakes his head with a small smile and retrieves his charger cable from behind the bedside table. As he plugs his phone, he accidentally knocks down the drawing from Steve. He picks it up, staring at the soft lines for who-knows-which time. His thumb gently traces the “Get well soon, Buck! x” scribbled at the bottom.

Looking at it, Bucky imagines the moment when Steve was writing it down. In his mind, he sees both Steve and Alexandra at the kitchen table, both leaning over their respective pieces of paper, focused on whatever they’re drawing. They are smiling, chatting about whatever common interest they’ve currently discovered. It’s a very nice picture. Enough to make Bucky’s heart ache.

Because Natasha is right. This is exactly what Bucky craves and what he’s been ignoring for years. That domesticity, that warm feeling one gets when looking at someone they care about. That happiness. He can almost imagine himself joining the picture he’s created in his head, walking over to that table and dropping a kiss first on Alex’s head and then on Steve’s, before he starts preparing the dinner. It feels right. 

Maybe it’s not usual to imagine this calm, family life with someone he’s not even in a relationship with. Most people probably think of tons of other things, things that are not so… settled. Not as serious. Sometimes they never reach this part. But Bucky has figured a while ago that it doesn’t really work for him. He already has a family. And this family means everything and more to him. If he ever was to date, he has to make sure that the person would fit into his and Alexandra’s life. He has to skip ahead to make sure it’s worth going through the dates and the passion and all the work a relationship requires, without it all ending in a heartbreak. But Steve… 

Steve fits so well into this picture, it scares Bucky a bit. Because this would be even harder to let go, if things didn't work out.

It's pretty clear, now that he allows himself to think about it, that he has some feelings for Steve. Besides the friendliness and sympathy, that is. They're the romantic kind and they're still fresh and shy but they're here. And Bucky has absolutely no clue how to deal with them. It's not even that surprising, he realises. Because how could he not catch feelings for Steve? For the kindest, most thoughtful and most selfless person in the world? For someone with his heart made of gold, who always knows how to make Bucky laugh? Someone who gets so passionate about the things he loves and just as much about the ones he despises? Who cares deeply, laughs with his whole body and who next to all this softness and kindness, is also a stubborn little asshole? Who — and this is the most important of all — adores Alex and whom she adores just as much?

Bucky's heart was a lost cause from the start.

Steve has a lot of qualities that Bucky would fall for if he looked for a partner. And that he accidentally might have fallen for anyway. And that's all without even mentioning that Steve is so ridiculously attractive that it might've skewed Bucky's view on beauty forever. 

The point is — Natasha is right. That this could be a good thing. They could be a good thing. But what they have now is already good and Bucky really values this friendship. He isn't sure if pursuing a hypothetical picture in his head is worth putting it at risk. Because he still can't be sure if Steve's interested. For what Bucky knows, he's kind and caring towards all of his friends. It doesn't mean that Bucky and Alex are special. 

He can almost hear Natasha's voice in his head, calling him an idiot and yelling that he won't know until he tries. Which is right, since Natasha always is. It doesn't help him stop the — partially excited but mostly terrified — somersaults his insides make. With a small sigh, he puts the drawing on its place by the lamp, flicks off the lights and burrows himself under the covers. He doesn't have to have everything figured out straight away. Letting himself even consider it is a big enough step for now, he decides as he drifts off to sleep.

.

The next day is Bucky's last day at work before the Christmas break. He doesn't really have much to do, just finishing some last updates and dealing with whatever paperwork he was putting off earlier. Most of the time, he chats with Scott, who has been wandering aimlessly around the institute for the lack of work and eventually landed in Bucky's tiny office. They've been chatting about their Christmas plans — nothing too elaborate for both of them, just simple time at home with their families — and now they started discussing where they should go to grab some lunch. Just as Bucky almost convinced Scott that they should go to this sushi place down the block instead of the Italian place, there's a knock on the door.

Bucky sends his friend a confused look.

"It wasn't me," Scott raises his hands in defence.

"Come in," Bucky calls after another second passes. It's probably someone having a last-minute computer problem or one of his co-workers wanting to drop by with Christmas wishes.

Except, when the door cracks open, Steve's head pokes in. Its hair is messy, its cheeks reddened from the cold and its lips spread in a smile.

"Hi, Buck. And hi Scott, it's nice to see you again," he says. "I'm not interrupting?"

And because Bucky's brain is still processing the fact that for some reason Steve's come to visit him at work, Scott's the one who says, "Not at all, come in."

Steve hesitates for another second. Bucky's brain finally kicks in and he smiles which is apparently the invitation Steve needed, because he finally fully walks into the office.

"Hi, Steve. I didn't expect you here," Bucky says, his smile growing bigger.

"Well, you should. Because after our talk yesterday, I decided to bring you lunch," Steve says, proudly showing a big paper bag in his hand. "I told you you haven't seen shit, and especially not overdramatic me."

This makes Bucky laugh out loud as he shakes his head in disbelief. How is Steve even real?

Scott is watching them with a slightly confused but endeared smile on his face. Before anyone can say anything, he gets up from the chair, slapping his thighs as he does.

"Okay then, I'll leave you to it," he says, walking towards the door.

"There's plenty to share, if you want to join us," Steve offers, because of course he does. His gold-heartedness wouldn't have it any other way.

But Scott only shakes his head at that. "Nah, I'm in the mood for some sushi today. Thanks, though."

"Asshole," Bucky narrows his eyes at Scott. "I hope you'd choke on it."

His friend only laughs at that, "Enjoy your lunch date! It's been great to see you, Steve. Merry Christmas."

"You too, Scott. Say hi to Hope and Cassie from me."

With one last grin aimed at Bucky — and a very pointed look behind Steve's back — Scott leaves them alone. Bucky tries not to dwell on the fact that Steve didn't even bat an eye when Scott called it a lunch date.

"Why should he choke?" Steve asks with a chuckle.

"I've been trying to talk him into going to that sushi place for almost twenty minutes before you came," Bucky sighs and then notices that Steve is still hovering by the door. "Come on, take your coat off and sit down. I can't believe you've brought me lunch."

Steve shrugs off his coat and leaves it on the hanger by the door, next to Bucky's. Today he's wearing a maroon sweater that really suits him and a pair of dark jeans. He pushes his sleeves up before he digs into the bag and Bucky tries not to stare too obviously.

"Someone's got to make sure you eat, since after yesterday I've gotten an idea you're not good at it yourself," Steve says. "Guess it wasn't necessary. Sadly, I don't have sushi but maybe you're in the mood for Thai?"

"Depends on whether you've brought me the dumplings or not," Bucky answers.

Steve laughs in response and takes out one of the boxes and hands it to Bucky. "I did. I also have green curry for you? I hope I remembered correctly that you like it? If not, I'm sorry, we can switch—"

"Steve." Bucky says solemnly, placing his hand on Steve's forearm, to stop him from fumbling with the food. "You not only brought me food but you remembered my favourite after I mentioned it one time. You are an angel. You should hide it better, because you make us mortals look bad."

He's only half joking. Steve does seem like a higher being of some sorts and it's unfair that Bucky's poor heart is supposed to handle it. It doesn't do a great job. Especially not when Steve laughs, his eyes crinkle so much they turn into thin slits.

"And I am the overdramatic one?" Steve asks, unpacking the last things and finally sitting on the chair across from Bucky. He's still smiling but there's a blush colouring his cheeks and creeping down his neck.

Bucky bites the inside of his cheek to contain a grin but the truth is, he's immensely proud of himself for pulling this reaction out of Steve. To stop himself from saying something stupid, he digs into his food.

"By the way, how did you find me here?" Bucky asks, his tongue sticking out a bit in concentration as he fishes for a dumpling with his chopsticks. 

"Clara let me know where your office is, she was very helpful."

Bucky furrows his brows. The surprise makes him drop his dumpling back into the container. "Clara, as in Clara Oswald, our receptionist? How do you know her?"

"I don't. We've chatted for a few minutes and I explained why I'm here and she told me how to get to you."

"Ah, of course it took you about five minutes to charm her and get into a government building just like that," Bucky chuckles.

"I didn't charm anyone! I just politely asked and she helped!"

If it wasn't Steve, Bucky would take it as fake modesty. But the truth is that Steve really seems to be completely oblivious to the effect he has on people. It’s endearing to see him do this.

"So here's when you do your cool space stuff?" Steve asks, changing the subject.

"Here's when the real scientists come searching for help when there's some IT-related issue," Bucky corrects him. "I don't do anything cool. I make sure all the data is where it's supposed to be and that whatever equipment they need is ready and working properly. Or part of it, Scott's an engineer and he takes care of the rest. I do get to read some space facts first hand, though."

"That's still cool space stuff for me," Steve shrugs with a small smile. "What kinds of things are you researching here? Like some particular aspects of outer space, or—?"

Normally Bucky would just give the shortest answer possible. People usually get bored quickly when he starts talking about it. But something in the genuine interest on Steve's face, the way he is looking around the office — which is nothing special, the only nice things are the sky maps and some spaced themed art  — makes Bucky think that maybe Steve wouldn't mind getting the longer answer.

"Well, we mostly study the weather. Both the Earth's and the one in the solar system, like the solar winds and magnetic storms, stuff like that. We study exoplanets and try to discover or guess as much as we can about them," Bucky says. "I helped to create simulations that predicted how they could look like and develop, to see if there's a possibility to inhabit them. We did it by basically dumping all the data we have into an elaborate computer programme and waiting to see what comes out." Bucky laughs and Steve does too, but he has the look of utter fascination on his face as he listens. "And all this helps with some more down-to-earth stuff — pun not intended. Like, we've done tons of studies in climate change."

"That's—," Steve starts when he makes sure that Bucky's done. "All of this sounds incredible. And you're a part of all those amazing things, how great is that?"

Bucky feels that his cheeks start to burn. There's another reason he usually sticks with the short answer. As much as he's proud to be working here and as much as he loves it, the impostor in him always makes sure that he understands the difference between his work and the actual research, analysis and all the heavy lifting that the astronomers do. He helps, of course he does. He does a great job at it, but there's still a difference. And such praise usually makes him squirm uncomfortably.

"And don't even try to get all modest with me again," Steve warns as if he's been reading Bucky's mind. "You've said that you don't do cool space stuff and then admitted that you've helped to create a program to imagine how exoplanets can look and change. So I know you're full of bullshit."

Steve raises an eyebrow in what's supposed to be an unimpressed look but it's not even close. The smile and the curious, bright eyes that are stating right at Bucky are destroying the effect. The blush on Bucky's cheeks only deepens, especially as Steve adds. "I've been impressed before but— Wow. Really, you guys are doing such incredible things here, I can’t wrap my head around it."

"We really do," Bucky agrees, eventually.

The beaming smile Steve sends him feels like a reward Bucky didn't know he deserves.

"So you've always liked space? Or was it an accident that brought you here?" Steve asks.

"No, I've always loved it. It's just so fascinating and there's always so much more to learn about it," Bucky doesn't even try to hide his excitement. "I've never fully understood all the science behind it but I loved staring at the sky, trying to find all those constellations and planets and galaxies. I've figured a way to somehow connect it to what I was good at and make it my job. Which is amazing. But now I mostly stare at the computer screen instead of the stars. "

He doesn't want to sound ungrateful but he must admit that it does kill some of the fun. But not even the astronomers simply state up at the sky to admire the view.

Steve only nods in response. "Alex mentioned that you guys went on a trip out of town to watch the stars. It must've been great."

"We did! It was like… almost 2 years ago, I think? I borrowed one of those fancy telescopes they have here. I needed to pick Alex up every time, cause she was too small to reach it," Bucky laughs as he brings out the memories. "It was fun, we should do that again, sometime. But I don't have much time now, so it’ll have to wait."

"It does sound great," Steve smiles that soft smile again. "I hope you'd find some time as it gets warm enough for such trips. I bet Alex would be delighted."

"Yeah. I'll let you know if that happens, in case you'd like to join," Bucky says before he can think better of it.

There's more of the childlike excitement on Steve's face as Bucky mentions it so maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea.

An actual bad idea comes out of Bucky's mouth a bit later, just as Steve is getting ready to head out. Bucky's lunch break is long gone and forgotten, because it's been two hours that Steve spent here. He apologises for staying so long and the assurances that Bucky didn't have any more work to do doesn't help.

"I'm sorry for taking your mind away from your responsibilities, but it was great spending time with you," Steve says.

So of course, because Bucky's heart doesn't get any chance to regroup, he doesn't have time to think before he blurts out. "We should have dinner together."

It's certainly not something Steve was expecting to hear. He just stares at Bucky. Before he has a chance to say anything, Bucky continues, "I mean. You should come for dinner. Clint and Nat are always around for a dinner, sometime between Christmas and New Year's. If you don't have any plans, it would be great if you came. But it's okay if you can't or don't want to."

Another moment passes and Bucky tries not to squirm under Steve's gaze. Luckily, Steve finally blinks and smiles as he says, "No, Buck, of course I'd love to come! I don't have any particular plans, will probably hang out with Sam for most of the break but I'll have plenty of time."

"You could take Sam with you," Bucky adds. He desperately tries to regain the control of his own mouth. "It'd be great to finally meet him."

"I'll let him know, I bet he’d be happy to come, too. Thanks again for the invite," Steve smiles as he cracks open the door. With a little wave, he walks out of the office. "Bye, Buck. Have a nice day."

"You too, Steve," Bucky says to the already closing door.

When Steve's gone, Bucky exhales heavily through his mouth as he leans back in his chair. Both of his hands go up to thread through his hair, tugging at it lightly.

Apparently, he has a dinner to prepare.

taglist: @steverrogers​ @till-the-end-of-the-line-punk​ @buckyshappyending

[shiishki]

「Hopeless causes at love」

Denki Kaminari x reader

warnings: hurt/comfort

wordcount: 1,470

summary: you and your crush are stupid in love <3

   Your bare feet got used to the cold pavement of your balcony at Heights Alliance, you were sitting here for a while after all. You didn't want an another night to be spent crying yourself to sleep, or not sleeping at all for that matter. And even if you decided to stay in your room, you just couldn't stand the still audible laughs and music coming from the common room. You weren't the only one who wasn't there, so they probably thought you wanted to get a good night's rest just like Bakugou. But no, you just didn't want to see your best friend and crush flirt casually with everyone. And even when you just ignored it for a while, you began to feel jealous. Or at least, that's what you thought you were since it was the easiest way to describe the heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach that twisted each time his eyes landed on anyone but you. And when they eventually did turn to you, it just didn't feel right. It felt like you weren't enough, or he was just playing with you because he knew you wouldn't take it seriously since you were his best friend. 

a/n: another fic that's been sitting for a while, hope you don't mind another angsty, hurt/comfort one, I've got two Obi fics in works tho! for now hope you enjoy this one!

Your bottom lip trembled under your teeth and body shivered. You wrapped your arms around your knees, hiding your tear stained face in between. Your jaw hurt from clenching your teeth together or biting on your lip trying to contain the sobs, but in the end releasing quiet sniffles and whines anyway. But most of all, your heart hurt. It ached and all you wanted was for it to stop. 

  You wanted to stop liking him, even if it meant hating or completely erasing Denki Kaminari out of your head. No, you wouldn't want that, you just wanted to stop liking him or for him to stop coming to you for all kinds of romantic advice and for god's sake, trying it out on you. You were always the one he'd ask to review his outfits for dates, or recommend movies, restaurants, or whatever. And each time he'd invite you to check out whatever place he planned a date on. Sure, that meant that you were closer to him than anyone else, but you knew him better than anyone would! You knew what his favourite sweet were, that even though he wasn't a morning person, he loved watching the sunrise. 

   Another sob escaped your lips as your hug on your knees tightened. Of course, you could sabotage his dates, but even after you had planned out each step, your heart melted at the sight of his bright smile and nervous questions if he looked alright. You even ended up giving advice to one of his dates when they asked you, and you ended up rambling about how what they had in mind for a date was a horrible idea for Denki. 

   Why was he always looking at someone else? Were you not pretty enough? Not good enough? If so, why was he flirting with you? Was he really not able to notice that you clearly had a crush on him? He surely caught you staring a few times, why couldn't he ever ask you on a serious date? 

   You shook your head, a few more tears dripping from your chin as you did. You wiped some away with the back of your hand, but ended up letting most of them soak into your clothes as you buried your face in the sleeves and took in the scent. You were even borrowing his hoodies! Wasn't that a clear sign that you were into him? 

  At that point you rested your chin on your crossed arms, staring at the horizon. Your balcony faced the east, so whenever Denki miraculously woke up early enough you both would spend the mornings here, admiring the view. Sometimes both would get breakfast and come up here. The table and chairs were still in the corner where you left them from last time. 

   You didn't cry anymore, your eyes were probably puffy, and you felt the stains your tears left on your face. No matter how many times you'd lick your lips, they still felt dry. Your nose scrunched up each time you'd sniffle, right now it just annoyed you. 

   "Y/n..?" you almost jumped at the sound of Denki's voice. 

    You turned your head to see him at the glass door of your balcony, leaning on the frame of it with his arm, his chest was moving abruptly once a moment, which hinted you towards the fact that he must have drank something. His cheeks were dusted pink, which you noticed thanks to the dim light coming from the inside of your room. 

   "Why are you here?" he asked, his eyes narrowed at you. 

   Even though you were just crying because of him, you still felt that familiar flutter in your stomach. But also a hint of panic, how were you going to explain why you were here, crying? 

  "And why are you here? Shouldn't you be down with the others?" you asked, feeling the urge to sniff. 

   "We thought it was enough partying," he said as he took a few steps towards you, his back slammed against the wall and he slid down to sit next to you. "Is that my hoodie? I've been looking for it.." he mumbled, scanning your silhouette. 

   "Yeah, I borrowed it the last time we hung out in your room," you replied, resting your chin on your arms once again. 

   Denki shifted, his legs stretched out as he too turned towards the horizon. "Do you like it better?" 

   You furrowed your brows at the question. "Like what better?" 

   "The sunset. Do you like it better than sunrise?" he tilted his head to the side as he turned a bit to look at you. 

   "Dunno," you shrugged. 

   "Y/n?" 

   "Yeah?" 

   "Why were you crying?" 

   You didn't move, your eyes still scanning the blended colours. For a few more seconds both of you were silent, you thought that maybe Denki gave up on  you answering. 

   "Did I do something?" you could feel his eyes on you. "I feel like lately you've kinda avoided me," 

   Were you? Now that you thought about it, you really did avoid him. Perhaps you hadn't noticed it as you did it. 

   "I love you, so please let's talk it out," 

   "Lying doesn't suit you," you snatched without thinking. 

   You felt your body tense up, your lips pressed together. 

   ".. What..?" 

   The knot at the pit of your stomach twisted at the sound of hurt in his voice, but while you regretted your words, you couldn't hold back your frustration. 

   "Are you serious?" you asked harshly. 

   You shifted from your position, your back hurt from not moving for a long while but you ignored it. "Are you saying that to every other person too?" 

   Confusion was painted on Denki's face as he blinked at you. "What?" 

   "Urgh don't act like that! You are flirting with others all the time, going on dates, don't tell me you love me because it's not true!" you felt a gulp form in your throat. 

   You didn't care that you raised your voice and someone could hear you, all you wanted to do was spit out everything you cried over right now. 

   "What dates? Are you talking about that one like, two months ago?" Denki asked, trying to catch on. "You set me on it though," he furrowed his brows. 

   "They asked me for advice because they wanted to confess to you you dumbass. They were planning on taking you to that one sushi place where you threw up last time we went there!" you argued. 

   "I know they confessed, but I don't have a thing for them 'cause I wanted to confess to you," 

   "Then why didn't you?" you asked, tears in your eyes once again. 

   "I tried! I tried like five times and when you started borrowing my clothes I thought you finally accepted it!" Denki motioned to your clothing. 

   "I thought you were joking! We flirted all the time for fun, how was I supposed to know you were serious? I took your hoodies to give you a hint!" 

   He let out a long sigh before he bursted into laughter. Now you were confused. 

   "What are you laughing at?" you asked, wiping away your tears with the edge of the sleeve. 

   "We're both hopeless causes when it comes to love, ain't we?" he chuckled. 

   Your mind eased at the thought. 

   "Now get married!" both you and Kaminari shot up at the sound of Mina's yell that came from her balcony. 

   You both laughed, you missed your long and honest talks with Denki, and you only realized that more when you spent the rest of the night in your room. 

[thatfairyfangirl]

Government Property

So I saw this on facebook and HAD to fic it

The summer sun beat down on your back yard relentlessly with not so much of a whisp of a cloud to deter the sun's rays. A bead of sweat trickled down your bare back, pooling at the red white and blue bikini strap before continuing to travel down as you emerge from your kitchen of your small Brooklyn home to the humble backyard, carrying a pitcher of lemonade in one hand and iced tea in the other. Once the bright sun hit you, warming you to your soul instantly, you paused, watching your family fawn and swoon over The Avengers who had shown up to your humble 4th of July cookout doubling as Steve's birthday party. With a chuckle you shook your head at how starstruck they all were at the fact the Steve you had been talking about for months was none other than Captain America himself! But even you had to admit there was something perfect about having him of all people manning the grill on Independence Day.

"Sissy! Sissy!" Your young niece called as she spotted her favorite aunt coming with the beverages, rushing to hug you...well, your left leg since that was as high as she could reach. "Did you see?! Hulk is here!" She squealed before toddling off to politely ask him to pick her up.

Something about all this just felt so right to Steve, it was just an average Independance day. No flash. No bad guys to beat. Just food, family and friends...how it should be. "You know, birthday boy, I put all this together so you could actually meet my family." You teased, placing a cup of lemonade at his side and a soft kiss on his cheek.  "I got the burgers, go enjoy yourself."

~ ~ ~ ~

Soon enough the summer heat gave way to a sticky heavy aired evening as you brought out the very patriotic birthday cake covered in a seemingly endless supply of candles….you may have meant to only put 100 on there, but you lost count somewhere along the way and now you were sure there were far too many. But the look on his face as he laughed at the sight made all the time worth it. And with the trite old song sung and slices of red white and blue cake handed out to all, you found yourself nestled into his lap, arms comfortably around each other and his chin resting on your head as you watched the fireworks coming from the Brooklyn bridge. "Thanks, Doll, I couldn't have asked for a better birthday." He whispered softly into your ear, his cool breath mixing with the early July heat to send chills down your spine.

Craning your neck you looked into his eyes with a smirk. "Not over yet." You teased lightly before reaching up to kiss him, leaving him to wonder just what else you had planned. It wasn't until the last of the avengers and your family finally left that he realized what that was.

The next morning he woke with the most blissful grin finding you still wrapped up in his arms. His fingertips traced soft, loving circles over your bare skin, until he found the spots where his love bites got a little too hard, purple and blue splotches dancing over your flesh around those hidden marks only he can see, making you in to his very own personal piece of artwork. "Mmm-morning baby." You purred gently as your eyes fluttered open lazily. "Good birthday?"

"The best." He assured you, planting a firm sweet kiss on your forehead. "Want me to make you some breakfast?"

You rolled over on to his chest, your fingers tracing with barely there touches down the red and purple you left on the side of his jaw and neck. "That would be amazing." You answered, placing soft kisses on the marks you made.

Breakfast, however, seemed to not be in the cards. Steve's phone began chiming relentlessly as he searched for his pants. With an aggravated sigh he nestled it between his shoulder and ear as he began shoving his legs in one by one. "Hey Tony, what's up?" You watched him with concern as his face dropped, the joy you had put there the night before vanishing with whatever Tony was telling him. "I'm still at (Y/N)'s, I can be there in five." Discarding the phone to your bed he looked up to you more sorry than worried about the fight to come. "I'm sorry Doll, looks like we'll have to take a rain check." He didn't tell you what impending doom was pulling him away, and he knew you preferred it that way. You weren't blind to the world, you saw the things out there...things that he was too stubborn or stupid to realize he probably shouldn't be fist fighting…

"Go save the world." You assured him, giving him a kiss goodbye for good luck.

~ ~ ~ ~

"What the Hell happened to you?!" Tony demanded seeing the deep bruising along his friend's neck peeking over his uniform.

"What? What's wrong?" Steve asked finding anything reflective to see what he was talking about, finally spotting the hickeys you left on him the night before. "Oh...I guess (Y/N) is stronger than she thought." He chuckled.

"Well, Cap, I am very disappointed in you." Tony teased as they readied the Quinjet. "Only teens leave hickies where the public can see them."

"You think I did these to myself pal?" He joked back.

"You know … You're right… I'm going to have to have a talk with your girlfriend when we get back." Tony quipped as he sat in the pilot's seat.

~ ~ ~ ~

Saturday spilled into your window draping the sun over you like a warm hug from an old friend. How you loved Saturday morning...and how you could easily sleep through most of it. Later today you knew you'd have shopping to do. But for now nothing was convincing you to leave this bed...until Ironman by Ozzy came blaring from your phone, telling you Tony was calling. With a sleepily annoyed groan you rolled over, grabbing the phone with a "Mmmmhello?"

“Excuse me little miss but you are in big big trouble” Tony scolded on the other end of the line.

“Wha...what time...?” You grumbled with a squint, checking the clock...7am…there must be something wrong. Suddenly with a jolt of adrenaline and worry you sat up, giving Tony your undivided attention. “What’s wrong? Is Steve alright?”

“He’ll live." Tony answered. "But you, however, you have been damaging Avengers property.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” You asked as you hopped out of bed pulling on a pair of pants, readying to check on your boyfriend.

“Those hickies you left...clear as day...Captain America has an image to uphold, you know!”

You froze, realizing the love marks you left must have been visible in his uniform. “Tony, you shit! You woke me up and got me all worried over that?!” You could hear him laughing on the other end of the line. “You better hope to God I don’t march over to that tower and really damage Avenger’s property!” You add as Steve let himself in, pausing at the door, hearing you scream at Tony.

“Doll? Everything alright?” He asked with a worried tone, dropping his key on the kitchen table.

“Yeah...Just Tony being Tony.” You answered with a huff as you emerged from the bedroom to wrap your arms around the love of your life, giving him a soft innocent kiss hello, before turning his head to examine the bruises you made. “So is the world still in ending?”

“Not today.” He answered enveloping you in his strong arms. “Sorry about Tony...I didn’t think he was serious when he said he was going to call you.”

“Oh so you LET him wake me up at 7am...you are so lucky I love you.”

“No arguments there.” He agreed with a chuckle. “How about I take you out for some breakfast to make it up to you?”

[cottontail20]

The Domestic Life Of The Vision And His Witch, Chapter 4: Protectors

Summary:  The Avengers make it clear to Ross that Tommy and Billy Maximoff are not to be messed with.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18461504/chapters/44176057

After the one occasion in which Natasha had unintentionally startled Wanda as she was feeding Billy in the middle of the night, Wanda and Vision had soon adjusted to the fact that the Black Widow usually came to stay at the Barton House for a day or two after a mission.

So, on this particular Saturday morning when a bleary-eyed Nat wandered into the lounge room while Vision and Wanda burped the twins after a feed, neither of them batted an eye.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila ran to hug her.

"Morning, kiddo" Natasha smiled, lightly ruffling her hair. "Morning, everyone."

"Good Morning, Nat" Laura smiled, watching over a few sizzling pans of eggs and bacon . "Lila, can you come set the table for breakfast, sweetie? Make sure you set a place for Auntie Nat.."

Lila nodded, rushing off to do as her Mother had asked. On weekends, Breakfast at the Barton's was a family affair, and they made sure to eat at the table, together. Even Vision, who didn't actually eat, enjoyed these weekend breakfasts for the conversations they all had around the table.

Natasha turned her attention to Wanda, her eyes lighting up when she saw the twins.

"Hey, Nat" Wanda passed Tommy over before she'd even asked. "How'd the mission go?"

"Alright" Natasha grinned, cooing and fussing over Tommy, who fussed slightly, in the middle of teething, but he loved his Auntie Nat, and soon settled in her arms. "How was your Anniversary?"

Wanda glanced over to Vision, smiling brightly as she watched him attempt to pull funny faces for Billy.

"Minunat."

"Great" Nat shifted, drawing Tommy closer as she held him, seeming rather protective over him. Vision noticed this, and couldn't help frowning slightly, his grip on Billy tightening a little.

"Is something wrong, Natasha?" He asked.

"No. Well, not anymore."

"What do you mean, 'Not anymore'?" Now it was Wanda's turn to frown.

"I should probably tell you two something" said Nat, "But try not to freak out about it, okay?"

"Okay.." Wanda's brows furrowed.

"Well, we had a meeting with Secretary Ross last week.."

"That must have been awkward" Vision grimaced. Wanda paled slightly.

"You still have to work with him?"

"Not for much longer. Anyway, he asked a few questions about the boys.. where they came from.."

"He.. what?" Vision jumped up, clutching Billy tightly to his chest. "Why?"

More color drained from Wanda's face. Her time in the Raft still haunted her. Ross was absolutely the last person she wanted sniffing around her children.

"It's okay" Nat shifted Tommy to one arm, and gave Wanda's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "We dealt with it. The Avengers assembled, and we dealt with it. Nobody is coming anywhere near Tommy and Billy, I promise."

"How.. How did you deal with it?"

"Well.." --

As soon as the topic of the Maximoff twins had come up, Iron Man and Captain America, united once more, along with War Machine, Falcon, and newly-minted Avenger Bucky Barnes stood. For the moment, Nat hung back, observing.

"No one" said Tony, in no uncertain terms, "Is touching those kids."

"But surely" Ross tried, "You wonder how a robot and the witch could.."

"Vision's not a robot" Sam scowled. "And Wanda has a name."

"Still, they managed to produce.."

"Perfectly normal children" Steve immediately cut him off. "It shouldn't matter how they got here."

"I can confirm that, sir" said Rhodey. His 'Sir' had been a little forced. "There is absolutely nothing unusual about Tommy and Billy Maximoff."

"They are normal, innocent babies" Bucky finished.

All five of them stared down Secretary Ross. He finally, reluctantly relented.

"Very well.." --

"I wasn't entirely convinced that he'd drop it completely, so I called in a few reinforcements.." Nat continued. "Thor hadn't come to the meeting, he's been busy trying to find the right location for New Asgard, but when I told him.." --

"Secretary Ross?" A woman poked her head into his Office. "Uh.. Thor is here to see you."

"Is that the one who says he's a Thunder God?"

"I believe so, Sir."

"Alright" Ross sighed. "Send him in."

Soon after, The God of Thunder entered the office, Stormbreaker slung over his shoulder.

"You are the one they call Ross?"

"Yes. I'm really quite busy, so if you could make it quick.."

Thor laid his axe over Ross's desk, scattering some of his papers.

"This is my new weapon, Stormbreaker" He grinned. "It is good for splitting skulls, I used it against Thanos."

"Is that a threat?" Ross frowned.

"Of course not" said Thor. "I consider all the people of Midgard my friends. Asgardians will always take up arms in defense of their friends. Vision is my friend" He added, picking up Stormbreaker as he turned to leave. "Worthy of my old hammer.. special bond there.." --

"Bruce, understandably, has been trying to avoid any sort of interaction with Ross since he's been back in the U.S, holing up in the lab at the compound, mostly. But when he heard what happened at the meeting.." --

"We're both on the same page here Hulk, right, big guy?"

Bruce Banner strode toward Secretary Ross's office, nervous, but determined. He knew there was every chance Ross could attempt to have him arrested or contained somehow, but he had something very important to do. To remind himself just how important, Bruce glanced at his current phone wallpaper: a picture of himself with baby Billy Maximoff taken when he'd visited the Barton Farm. He nodded, more determined now, and headed inside.

Ross looked up, surprised, and though he would never admit it, maybe a tiny bit impressed when he saw Bruce.

"I'll give you one thing, Banner, it's brave of you to come here."

"I know."

"I suppose you're counting on the 'Pro-Avenger' crowd to keep you safe?" Ross scribbled on some papers.

"Actually," said Bruce, "It's not myself I'm here to keep safe."

"Oh?"

"See, the Hulk and I have had some issues recently, but there's one thing, at the moment, that we both agree on.." For a second, Bruce's face and hands morphed green, and the Hulk roared, "NO TOUCH TWINS!"

"Ah!" Ross was about to call security, but the Hulk was gone as quickly as he had come.

"That will be all.. Sir." As Bruce left, a small, satisfied smirk crossed his face. --

"And then, just to make absolutely certain" Natasha grinned, tickling Tommy's belly, "Auntie Nat stepped in.."

"Hello, Secretary Ross" Natasha greeted, clutching a piece of paper as she entered Ross's office.

Ross groaned.

"If this is about.."

"You know" Nat began, ignoring him, "That I have a very specific skill set. These days, I'm a little more selective about what I use it for.. or who I use it for.." she dropped the paper onto his desk.

"What's this?"

"A reminder of my skill set. Read up."

"Alright.." Ross did so. He seemed to grow a little pale. "You've made your point.. You've all.. made your point.

"Glad to see we're on the same page" Natasha stood, taking the paper, a dangerously sweet smile on her face "Stay the hell away from my Godsons, and we won't have a problem." --

"So.. dealt with" Nat finished. "No one will ask any more questions. And soon, once all the paper work goes through, we won't have to work with Ross anymore."

"Thank you, Nat" The color was returning to Wanda's face, "Really."

"No need to thank us. We all love the boys.. Ooh.." Nat handed Tommy back to Wanda and headed to the table as Laura began to dish up. "That smells good, I haven't eaten properly in days.."

Vision glanced over towards them. Looking over at Natasha, at Laura shoveling a generous helping of food onto Nat's plate. At Clint, returning from an early morning session of working on the cottage that Vision and Wanda were soon going to move into. He thought of Nat's story about Ross and the Avengers.

"Wanda?" He asked, still cuddling Billy close as they all moved to join the rest of the family at the table.

"Yeah, Vizh?" She pressed a kiss into Tommy's hair.

"How many Godparents can a child have?"

"Well.. As many as we like, really. Why?"

"Because" said Vision, "I think our Boys already have at least ten."

Wanda smiled.

"I think you're right."

Notes:

Translation:

"Minunat.": wonderful.

[strawb3rrybl0od]

Don’t Let Me Down /pt1

Prev/ Next

Summary- Yoongi used to be your soulmate but as he changed you saw a new light in your life

Pairings- Yoongi x reader; Jimin x reader

Warnings- strong language, angst?, bad writhing 

word count - 1124

Just 2 lovers standing on a hill. Under the blushing light everything looks good. So good in fact it covers the broken relationship that they have behind closed doors.

"let's pretend everything is Ok,  let's make everyone thing we are in love, let's make everyone jealous of us".

He thought, deep inside knowing mortals are stupid and would believe his blatant lies. Only if he knew he was just as stupid as them. In fact probably even dummer because he thought he was superior to everyone. 

She was too innocent for him. She was too pure. She was from another world, place were people loved each other. Place were people were truthful, honest and kind. To her money was only supposed to buy you things you need or want. To him money gave him power. Not like him she had only one name - Y/N. He, he had many. So many in fact people made jokes that they were his different personalities, that they were other people he hid in his body. His parents called him Min Yoongi, his fans Suga. He called himself a mistake. "Let's go jagi, it is becoming late" he said with a calm and monotone voice- his usual tone. " i don't want to go. I want to be here forever". She thought, but as she was submissive to him she said "Ok" quietly. She wanted many thing but she never said them. She lived in her thoughts and dreams. They were full of sugary sweet kisses shared with him and romantic sensual moments. She got these dreams to a reality when they started dating. Back then he was a rookie idol, just debuted fresh face in the industry. She was a 1st year college student working in a cafè for a minimal wage so she can pay for her rent. They came back to his dorm, place located quite far away from hers as it was in the rich neighborhood of Gangtam. Hers was in the outskirts of Seoul- it was cheaper there.  " Oh, hi hyung! Hi Y/N!" Namjoon greeted them with a worried smile and shaky hands. " I am sorry but I guess Taehyung got a food poisoning. He wasn't feeling well so we had to come back here earlier. I know Yoongi- hyung wanted you two to be alone together" he blushed and coughed while trying to prevent an eye contact. " Why didn't you went to the hospital or something? And how the fuck did this idiot got a food poisoning? Did he ate some of Jin's Gordon Ramsay wanna- be recipe?" Yoongi spoke with a loud voice full of anger. Y/N was staying next to him, trembling with fear. Guessing his voice was loud enough to be heard through the walls of the big apartment because a voice belonging of the sick man himself was heard responding " I ate discount fish, Ok?! It is no once fault!"  To the response Yoongi answer with a groan and mouthed something. He grabbed y/n's hand and pulled her to his studio which was down one of the long hauls. He typed the pin to unlock the door without even looking at it. He shoved his girlfriend in it and closed the door. Looking at her he said "You are shaking like a lost pupie " he laughed " I told you that wearing such a short dress would give you a cold". " I- I am sorry". "You shouldn't be. Doing dumb things like this it is the nature of poor people like you". "Then why are you dating Me?" She wanted to scream at his smirked face. "Come here you dumb dumb "he gestures at her to sit on the gray couch next to him. When she did he threw a blanked over her head and laughed. He always did things like this, things that are supposed to be gestures of a kind lover but they turned into a mean laughter. " I wanted to fuck you as we haven't done that in a while. Here is noice-prove but you have a God damm cold!" He grabbed his face and started walking around the room.

 “This Taehyung is going on my nervous a lot. He is rich- a fucking milliner and still. He still buys discount fish.”

He continued mumbling.

After what seemed to her like hours full of fear he just said "Go home" And she did so.

Y/N p.o.v.

The calm song 'Serendipity' - a solo by one of the members of the group Yoongi was a part Of- Jimin, was played as an alarm. Even since I heard the demo by Namjoon I fell in love with it. I thing Jimin's soft vocals definitely fit it the best though. He gives such a romantic tone to the sound and it's definitely on of my favorites. A great start of an seemingly awful day.

Eating breakfast and getting ready for the job- everyone in their 20s start of a day. Mine too. 

My phone surprisingly rang again. Surprisingly as I don't have a lot of friends. And people tend to not wanna speak to me.

It was Jimin. What a great consequence!

" Good morning!" He said a sweet energetic voice that no one in 7 am has. Except him of course.

 " I am so sorry for Yoongi. I guess you 2 had great plans for the night but the unfortunate accident with Tae's food poisoning broke them. After you left he had a big argument with the others" " Did something worst happened? A fight or So?" I questioned in between my worried short breaths. " No, or at least I don't thing. I wasn't part of it as you know I hate these types of things. Arguments, fights and such. I was in my room trying to sleep. Ahhh... anyway! Do you want us to go out after you finish at the cafe? There is this new movie everyone is raving about and I wanna see it but the others don't so I though we could watch it". "It would be great but I thing Yoongi won't like the idea ". " He doesn't have to know. Now you can put an winking emoji Here!" "Haha ok. But still, if something happens it was your fault." "Great! I would wait for you in front of the cafè. Have an amazing day sweetie!" Cute nicknames were nothing new between me and the other members of Bangtan. After all we knew each other for 5 years. It used to be so much fun at the start. When we got to know each other, when they were dreaming of being successful. It all became true. For the worst or best. He changed.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

2:03pm, what the hell.

Thursday, January 2nd of 2020.

Time is a concept that I can't comprehend.

What's on my mind?:

Losing Patrick wasn't just losing a boyfriend or someone attractive to bang, it was losing a good friend. I don't have THAT many of those around here, and like, kinda sucks if the one person I'd like to be sitting in their car with at a view, or in a drive thru or sime shit, is someone I just can't really see or speak to.

Since on a day like this, I'd be going, "I should check in with Patrick", and trying to see if he'd like to drag me around the lake, or get some breakfast, or something.

And that's just not happened yet.

I shouldn't wait by the phone as if he's gonna pop up like, "Hey Tamia, let's get coffee today!", and totally ignore the "you threw sprite on me and potentially let me crying in my car" incident we had.

(Was he crying? I don't know, he looked only mildly uncomfortable. But then again, he always looks mildly uncomfortable..... And eh, I don't think a grown man would slam on his horn like that at 2am, unless he was either really enraged, or.... crying.)

I only feel bad about things when I think about how *he* feels too hard.....

But it doesn't matter how he feels. Not at this point in time, when I'm alone, and his request was specifically for me to not talk to him, and thats just obvious for me.

Going "aw i regret what happened that night :,(" doesnt change his decision, or the fact that im alone, yet again.

And it doesnt help me heal, or get over things at all.

So the alternative is easy; going "he did kinda deserve that", (the soda i mean,) and then looking elsewhere.

The thoughts will go away eventually, thats all.

.........

I guess his crying also rubbed me the wrong way.

It was:

Sweet, since, ive never seen him cry to that extent. And, i wouldnt have expected him to get this emotional about us breaking up........ Bittersweet, since crying wouldnt change anything.

Annoying, since he's crying over something that he could've resolved himself. Oh boo hoo, you're dumping me for..... idiotic ass reasons that all happened from your lack of responsibility and backbone, and yet you're crying on my shoulder snd holding me, for.... what reason? It feels off, "Hold me as i cry, right before i tell you i no longer want to date you anymore, and that i also am going to hate the idea of seeing or speaking to you anytime soon."

Maybe cute, but not in a sadistic way. Idk, it felt good hugging him, and he sounded like Scully when she's eager to be pet from the way he was whimpering.... That's a fucked up comparison, but idk, hard to explain why i find emotional vulnerability in a man that i obviously had romantic feelings for made me like them.....

......sigh.

I wondered his reasons for wanting to not see me.

The conk made him hate me? Or would seeing me just be too awkward too soon? He claimed he had absolutely no more romantic feelings for me, which could either be complete heartbreaking honesty, or a "i gotta say this, or shes gonna keep trying to fix a relationship that i dont wanna fix" type schtick.

.......god.

I still just kinda wished we did something else for his birthday; seperately. It hurts a lot differently being told the day of, when I was excited and amped up and overall feeling so good..... that oh, she doesn't want me there.

And three different people want to fight me if I show up.

And...... jesus fucking christ, he's allowing them to express their right to curse me out over his supposed "right to have me there", how amazing! Yeah, enabler.

If I was just told on Christmas Night that it was a little soon, but that I could have a breakfast with him on his birthday, or whatever...... i wonder what all wouldve happened.

.....

But, things happened this way for a reason.

Revealed that he broke his promise to me. That I wasn't valued, in the way I hoped I was. That he could see or do all this and that with me, and still was happy to get rid of the relationship.

Since, God, all the things I did for him that he could never do for me? Even asking for compliments back or a basic "you look nice today" after taking forever getting ready to see him, was like draining blood from a rock.

And there I was, going gift shopping for fucking Bernard for Megamind! The most unappreciative asshole I have ever fucking met! Who gets a gift and then spends 4 minutes going "See, i drink coffee, but i dont LIKE coffee MERCHANDISE, you see???", and COMPLAINING over a gift that i got him.... and can barely even muster out a thank you?

Then he wondered why i was so fucking upset? God, i went to cry like, three times in his bathroom. What the fuck is wrong with him?

I'll try to not think about it too hard, since if I do, then I may or may not go to his door and demand it back...... which may reflect poorly on me.

.....

This is exactly why I don't like dating people who wanna be "trained" on relationships.

You'll have to practically give a TED talk on why groaning and scoffing in disgust at a gift you don't like, is not very cash money of them to do to the girlfriend they JUST had gotten back with.

Or why it's weird to have me meet every friend that lives miles away from home, but not the closest ones, who literally live in their freaking neighborhood?

Or "Patrick, I can't think of every date we go on, it makes me think I am not liked if you cant picture doing more than shacking up in your bed."

Which I think is why I went for XPatrick the second he texted me, "Hey, im in town for a wedding, wanna get in and out tonight?", in October or whenever that was..... Since XPatrick knew me a lot better, and was more experienced with chivalry, so it was easy as hell for him to know what to do sometimes.

"Me and Patrick aren't official, and I rarely get to see XPatrick, so itll just be a platonic date! And even then, well, not much will happen right?" - me, maybe an hour before the night i got my cervix tapped by my ex

Idk, just little things.

He was still an aloof guy, XPatrick, but that's his disability, and i wont bash him for it at all. Otherwise, he was sweet. Paid for my milkshake that night, gave me his jacket when I was cold, held my food for me when we were walking to find a table....

Plus, he remembered that I tend to get sensory overload when I am around too noisy of an environment and then I either am more prone to get disoriented, or irritable, so he helped me get to his car to eat and talk, as opposed to standing in a place of shouting teens..... Thoughtfulnsss plays a huge role in having chivalry.

(I wouldnt be shocked if this was the story i probably may have wrote on this tumblr once before, that Azalea tried to send to Patrick. But newsflash, no need to worry, he was literally informed of it the very next day.)

And.... yeah.

For once, I had a night of feeling fully satisfied. No having to say, "Hey, you glare at me every time you see me, seems like you dislike my presence", not having a guy nut in six seconds before fully sliding in, having valid emotional intimacy and positive sexual stimulation.....

Yeah, i needed that.

Its obvious that when its "The guy who will scoff and say that its 'uhhh, fine?', when he's dryly hitting it from the back.... before cumming in maybe ten seconds", and "Your hot ex boyfriend, who you clearly still have strong feelings for, emotionally stimulates you, knows how to make your whole face turn hot, and can actually tap your cervix in a pleasant way..."

It was obvious.

And, just one night.

Not to say I didn't feel guilty the next day, during the graveyard watercolor (was that even a date or a hangout? i think it was a hangout, but i was anxious, since its like "why do i feel so bad about banging my ex if im not even 100% sure this is even a date?????")

And then that's when we had our cute, yet insanely awkward, turned hostile.... "hangout".

Then we stopped talking.....

Till I apologized.

And I guess all of that, despite me obviously enjoying my time with my ex, to an extent, it was still "I care about Patrick, as a friend", and I didn't have dating him in mind.

But, one thing lead to another... and we dated.

Its a shame. I miss how we were before. Just kind of awkward friends, and whatnot.

And until I somehow find a way to desire how he's currently like in my life again......

I wont miss him.

Threw too much away too late and it hurt all too bad....

2:54pm.

I liked the innocence of when we had made up and became friends again. Or our first date, even. Way before other people got involved, and when it was just as simple as, "Patrick is free today, and so am I. Let's go get him out the house today".

....I'll cherish the memories, but not as intensely. I just wanted the whole relationship to feel as good as that had been, and, now im upset because.....

He doesnt wanna see me anymore, and, theres no more hidden crushes, or days spent wandering around with him. All the good shit is gone, and whats left is angry tweets and tumblr posts.

That's so upsetting. :/ I'll never be able to talk to him for a while, man. Its never gonna be resolved. Whether its friends, dating, him seeing someone else, and maybe even me seeing someone else; i dont think we can go back to how things were before.

And that says a lot; when the optimistic one in the relationship finally just goes, "Our friendship is never gonna be the same ever again because of the way all of this shit went down".

I'll always be thinking, "He's got his friends. He doesnt need me in the way id need him."

And he wouldn't fucking think about me period.

:)

Thats all. Peace out

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Ich glaub ich spinne Carly: wtf Carly: do you want a drink babe? Ali: ze german, baby Ali: i'll say no but get why you're saying yes so early Carly: k more for me Carly: nobodys in a sharing mood today Ali: yeah? Carly: yea Carly: no fun Ali: Leben ist kein Ponyhof Carly: give drew a slap for me k Ali: it would be my pleasure Ali: can i ask how he's pissed on your parade from over here tho Carly: the boy played me Carly: he wanted me to beg for what id just given him the prick Carly: shouldnt have drunk this much this soon my bad Ali: he's a fuckboy Ali: you knew that Ali: my sister on the other hand remains frustratingly oblivious Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: ive been trying to get him to dump her this whole coach ride Ali: I'm not mad at you, babe Ali: no room with how much ugh I have for him Ali: well, hopefully she will him Carly: he thinks shes gonna fuck him in berlin Ali: prick Ali: won't when she finds out Carly: you cant say anything cuz i wasnt meant to Ali: Let himself fuck it up then Ali: he's not being subtle Carly: he cant do subtle Carly: me and him have that in common like Ali: Carly Ali: do you like him? Carly: why Ali: because I think you do Carly: it doesn't matter what you think Carly: he thinks she's girlfriend material & im a slag Carly: hes not wrong either Ali: If you like him, then you should say Ali: regardless, shouldn't let him be a cunt to you, and Ro in the process Ali: who the fuck is he Carly: ha Carly: i dont like anyone baby Carly: I'm just bored Carly: berlins a whole new party Ali: well, good Ali: one less worry Ali: I wish you the perfect holiday fling Carly: aw Carly: youre still the sweetest Carly: sure you dont want a drink while theres some left? Ali: need it now so fuck it Ali: chuck it over Carly: come over Carly: you kno youre the sporty one Carly: i cant be throwing things round the coach Ali: alright, you calling baby spice, I assume? Carly: or scary Carly: depends whos asking Carly: cant be posh tho Ali: yeah you can Ali: she weren't even and you can rock that pout just as well Carly: aw Carly: you should be baby tho youre the cutest Ali: little school all over again, we can't all be baby, lads! 😂 Ali: i'll be ginger, if you wore that iconic dress on your site, you'd get lynched Carly: yea Carly: & if anyone would cause drama by going solo its you Carly: Marlene been knew Ali: Ouch 💔 Ali: but fair Ali: Already thinking about her due to namesake birthplace but you really went there Ali: please tell me I haven't tanked as hard, not got Drew's fragile ego like but 😥 Carly: you kno im just mad youre not thinking about me Carly: dont listen to a word i say Carly: goldies got a fragile heart now too, so sad you broke up w me & stole his bf on top Carly: someone think of the golden god Ali: baby Ali: yeah, that's TOTALLY what the weird vibe is all about Ali: moody twat, soz a threesome is outta the question now Carly: he likes you too Carly: thats a thing Carly: playing like im the one hung up but he is Ali: Nah Ali: that boy don't know what he wants Ali: not down for him using my bestie and sister to find out though, fuck off and soul search like the rest Carly: he wants you Carly: but you got your boy & he shouldnt be trying to mess w Carly: meant to be his boy too Ali: so he reckons but give him 5 minutes before he weren't arsed Ali: don't trust him as far as I can throw him so ain't taking his word on that either like Ali: exactly Ali: 🐍 Carly: id leave him alone if he was happy being w her but i kno he isnt Carly: not letting him lie to me Ali: it doesn't have to be your problem Ali: or your job to make him happy Ali: knew it though Carly: ha Carly: it isn't my problem Carly: & i cant keep a job you kno Carly: couldnt do that one if i was paid like Ali: no one can babe Ali: not to be that hippie cliche about it Ali: but forreal, gotta do that shit himself Carly: its Carly: how he makes me feel sometimes Carly: not happy im not living that lie but Carly: its not nothing & sometimes its good you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i know Ali: but you can have more, if you want Ali: that is possible Ali: you don't have to settle for sometimes good Carly: youre sweet but youre a dreamer babe Carly: ive got nothing going on not in my head & not around me Carly: theres no more than settling down on the site or settling for being off whenever i can Ali: s'not true Carly: yea it is Carly: you dont want it to be but that dont mean its not Carly: me and that boy have more in common than not being subtle like Ali: it ain't Ali: doesn't have to be Ali: nothing is set in stone unless you pour the fucking cement yourself, like Carly: it doesnt have to be doing it but it can still get poured Carly: forget it tho Carly: im drinking on empty & feeling sorry for myself Carly: no fun in that Ali: ain't that fast drying Ali: dust yourself off and run Carly: where to babe Carly: nowhere to go but the coach bathroom Carly: been there done that Ali: well hang on a bit and we'll be in a whole new country, babe Ali: promise is a promise and we can start in Berlin Carly: but 3s a crowd when its not a party Carly: im not trying to mess you & your boy up Carly: cant tell drew off if i do Ali: nah Ali: it ain't like that Ali: not got the blinkers on and knowing each other's passwords and schedules Ali: got trust Carly: yea? Carly: got food too or Carly: cuz im gonna vom if you say no Ali: Yes Ali: Lemme food parcel Carly: if you havent lost the knack Carly: been awhile Ali: 😔 Ali: i'm soz Carly: dont be Carly: you kno i love you Carly: no drama Ali: i love you too Ali: and you would tell me if you needed something wouldn't you Ali: 'cos that ain't changed, i'm still here Ali: unlucky bitch Carly: unlucky for you Carly: shouldnt be on site unless theres something in it for you babe Carly: all i need is to remember breakfast before i get on a sess Carly: & to dilute my spirits sometimes too Ali: there is, you nutter Ali: there you go, who said school trips weren't educational? only on the bus and you're whacking out the wisdom already Carly: not as thick as i look Carly: ms woodfield was thinking it too i reckon Carly: she might kno but im still gonna blame the shit driver if i vom Carly: try and stop me bitch Ali: you look nothing but amazing hush Ali: she's down with the kids, she'll hold your hair back Carly: you hush Carly: trying to make me emotional in front of the front of the coach Ali: it's alright, join Millie Rooney and say you're homesick 😉 Carly: idk whats sadder everyone thinking im crying over an empty caravan or that prick thinking its about him Ali: 😬 i know what i reckon Ali: better dry those tears, babygirl Carly: get his phone for me tho yea Carly: i am mad he gets me & i get nothing back Carly: use the magic Ali: use my mad hacking skillz gotcha Ali: but should I use them for good and accidentally forward some incriminating shit to Ro? 🤔 Ali: this is why we're not meant to play God Carly: do what you must Carly: i trust you Ali: don't worry, sure you're not the only girl he's been chatting too Ali: no offense meant obvs but you know Ali: don't have to drop you in it, as if its your fault but idk, Ro isn't always willing to be entirely rational when it comes to him Carly: idc she never liked me much anyways Carly: better that than dropping some naive random in it Carly: everyones seen me naked if it blows up Carly: old news Carly: & the vid was good too i look hot Ali: hmm, good point on the random Ali: and I don't doubt that you did Ali: I'll have to think on this a bit harder Carly: k Carly: if everyone gets in my inbox ill kno Ali: god Ali: people are gross Carly: can be fun sometimes Carly: cant all be angels like you babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: you know i ain't Carly: i kno you are Carly: too sweet Ali: pot kettle baby Ali: but your secret's safe with me 😘 Carly: ha Carly: its no secret im only sweet to you so youre the only one who needs to kno Ali: 'cos people suck Ali: that's no secret Ali: not gonna waste your time, are you, like Carly: not as good at picking out the deserving ones as you Carly: no secret i fuck up more than i dont Carly: how many bad decisions can i make before berlin tho Ali: nah, you're just too nice for your own good Ali: you know he don't deserve it but people have made the same (wrong) judgment on you so you can't do it back Ali: to anyone Ali: even genuinely shitty people, or people who'd be better off for the nudge of nah Carly: now whos dropping the wisdom Carly: ill just screenshot those few sentences for my ma when she's on at me Carly: im a nice person bitch Ali: 💅☕ though Ali: i'll translate it into spanish for her if she's not getting the memo in plain english Carly: ha Carly: she got well excited cuz she thought berlin had a red light district Carly: thought she was gonna get in my bags Carly: one way to stop me fucking drew in the front row but Ali: pretending i didn't hear that last bit ew Ali: moving on Ali: she wanna get in the windows or like? Carly: she did get the sack so probs Carly: or she thinks itll be like magic mike the german dub idk Ali: oh honey Ali: every nights a hen night Ali: 🙄 Carly: imagine if theyd let mas and das on this trip Carly: i couldnt have come Ali: me either Ali: no one needs that Carly: your ma is so scary Carly: but shed put goldie in his place Carly: probs shouldve brought her Carly: keep me behaving Ali: she literally wants to murder him Ali: need a restraining order and more than mr murray and mr latimer to keep her back Carly: ha Carly: love it Carly: cant she break up the happy couple Carly: my da did me & this beautiful traveller lad that took my v Ali: 💔 Ali: is he married now Ali: if we're doing matchmaking Ali: but in answer, she learnt that forbidding something makes it 1000x more likely to happen and in more secretive, intense ways so Ali: I'm soz Ro, really fucked you over on that one Carly: idk my da literally moved them on Carly: threat of getting the law Carly: k but he still wouldnt be into it Carly: i feel bad for her Ali: ugh Ali: so romeo and juliet, baby you must've been so about it 'til he fucked it up that hard Ali: yeah, i know Ali: i'll figure out something Carly: i was only 12 so i did have the mindset Carly: worth it tho Carly: prettiest boy ive ever seen Ali: swizzle on that, goldilocks Carly: everyone wanted to fuck him Carly: the whole site was feeling the love Carly: fun times Ali: like a beatle was living in your back garden Ali: love that Carly: i peaked Carly: all there is now is a golden god who behaves like a idiot boy Ali: i mean, won't take offense 😒 sat right here and all but no 😉 Ali: there's a whole world of dick out there i promise you Ali: some attached to boys who don't behave like one Carly: ha Carly: you know you're my fave Carly: but youre sat next to him so I cant tell it Ali: 💚 Ali: won't even tell you who i lost my v to Ali: too shaming Carly: now you have to Ali: 😬😫 Ali: okay but then i'm going for a piss so i don't have to feel the pity Carly: baby id never feel sorry for you Carly: w my life come on Ali: you might sympathize though 'cos it was ronan Ali: why he got all weird, probs Ali: eurgh repressed memories flooding back in with the shame 😂 Carly: shit Carly: i told drew all first times are bad but wouldnt wish him on you like that Carly: oh ronan Carly: he better not have treated you like he did me Carly: ill fucking kill him like Ali: aw babe Ali: my hero 💪 Ali: you know what he's like but that shit is long in the past with us so meh Carly: im gonna cry Carly: babe thats sad Carly: & now ms woodfield is staring at me k Ali: don't cry silly Ali: is what it is Carly: im crying and planning murder Ali: you went there too, and other various dickheads, so where's my invite to this party? Carly: but youre perfect Carly: and it was your first time Carly: actual tears in the front row Ali: oh babe Ali: i'm coming over Ali: bog roll in hand Carly: youre too good Carly: im so sad Ali: 😇 that's you Carly: all you tho Ali: nu-uh Ali: you you you Carly: i cant argue cuz im blinded by my tears Ali: not the greatest victory I've ever then Ali: but I'll take it if you smile again Carly: waiting for ms woodfield to tell me i need jesus Carly: ill laugh then Ali: okay, i'll try and lead the convo and her like Ali: we got this, woody Carly: nah if you try and lead her anywhere itll only go one way Carly: teachers pet Ali: 😂 Ali: do you reckon she loves that everyone lowkey drools over her 'cos she's the right side of 40 Ali: or is she desperately job hunting like these fucking kids Carly: i can see in her eyes she loves it Carly: she hates me cuz i dont Carly: facts Ali: not 'cos you never do your work, nah 😏 Carly: & im drunk as fuck rn on her watch Ali: i mean Ali: if YOU were doing your job properly darling Ali: mad you beat her to it, they always get plastered on trips Carly: yea Carly: bet shed take nudes in the bathroom if she had someone to send them to Ali: ooh what teacher could she homewreck Ali: school trip always a perfect place to start an affair Carly: Mr O'Brien could get it if you were old Ali: good shout Ali: getting out my bow as we speak Carly: Mr Cork is alright too but he looks like he'd shower after holding hands Carly: weird Ali: I mean Ali: cleanliness is next to godliness Ali: dirty hoe Carly: ha Carly: you kno it Ali: might be a serial killer Ali: but you wouldn't catch nowt off him Carly: dont have to go home if he murders me Carly: scatter me in berlin lad Ali: 😨😭 noooooo Ali: even if i could go neeson and avenge you Carly: dont go neeson off set tho Carly: your boy wouldnt love the racism Ali: don't wanna be that bitch Ali: problematique Carly: enough bitches on this coach Carly: for once not looking at you ms woodfield Carly: we ever getting there? i thought getting wasted would make me less bored not more Ali: and lowkey racists Ali: all comes out the woodworks when you outed, that gay bashing all afresh like Ali: seriously, why couldn't we go on a plane Carly: & overt racists Carly: that cash tho Carly: how would the teachers afford to get wrecked if they blew the budget Carly: gotta blow each other first Ali: ☕ Ali: dickheads Carly: when goldilocks isnt the biggest twat on the coach tho Carly: idk what to do w that Carly: universe trying to make me like him Ali: give him time Ali: sure he'll reclaim his title 💪 Carly: he'd love a crown Carly: or a medal Carly: get crafting Ali: only if I can get biblical Ali: crown of thorns, you mean barbed wire, okay Carly: ha Carly: im tired come & nap w me Ali: okay boo Ali: as far as pillows go 😏 Carly: serious Carly: i dont wanna sleep on my own Carly: hate it Ali: i remember Ali: coming Ali: promise