#god i fucking love art and the terrifier movies

[ailendolin]

Live reaction to TRoP 2x04

I am actually so glad Amazon is releasing the episodes weekly now because I love the anticipation beforehand and all the speculation about what happens next. So let's see what episode 4 has in store

Elrond in Mithlond! We're off to a great start here. I've missed my sweet summer child in episode 3

Galadriel, please, you have no right to be even the slightest bit bitchy right now after the Sauron shit you pulled

thank Eru Elrond is having none of it. I love how unapologetically he stands his ground and refuses to engage with her childish passive-aggressiveness

epic camera shots are epic and very LotR-reminiscent

also can I just say that I love how they're including the map to help the viewer get a grasp on where the characters are?

new elves! And they have names! I have a feeling they won't survive this journey but still, hello new elves!

man I just want to give Elrond a hug. He's trying so hard and given everything that's happened it's completely understandable why he won't trust Galadriel and Nenya, and I hate that this sets him up for failure

oooooh is it Tom Bombadil time? I can't believe this show made me feel excited about a character that I couldn't have cared less about when I read the books. I blame Bear McCreary and his beautiful music

lol Tom is like one of those burrowing animals that accidentally throws dirt at someone behind it while digging

Old Man Willow desert equivalent - does Tom Bombadil just naturally attract malevolent trees?

oh I'm so glad Nori and Poppy are okay and landed together wherever they are

those two need to meet Elrond. Given their tendencies to jump off cliffs, I think they'd get along splendidly

omg Nobody! I love you! You are adorable! And your name is Merimac! Gods, I hope they'll keep you around

lol not Nori third-wheeling and being jealous

desert halflings my beloveds! Look at them! They're so different from what we've known and yet them living in holes and the children sitting around listening to stories is so beautifully familiar. I love this so much

oh they're Stoors! And they don't like the Dark Wizard. Got it. I don't like the Dark Wizard either but damn I love watching Ciarán Hinds play him

"You should not be waking." :) I still can't believe how much I love Tom Bombadil already

GOLDBERRY!

that flame trick was neat

omg his little hedgehog teapot! I want one!

oh no this is where we say goodbye to my new elf friends, don't we? The Barrow-downs. I always loved this part in FotR

"Fear not. Dead men are no threat." Famous last words

shit those are the horses from the messenger Gil-galad sent, right?

the Barrow-wights are giving me PotC-vibes and I'm here for it

please let Camnir survive this. Please let Camnir survive this

thank you, Elrond. I knew I could count on you

also yay for him being a bookworm and knowing how to fight the Barrow-wights

and we're back in Pelargir. Have I mentioned that I don't really care about Theo (yet)? I love that Arondir and Isildur are teaming up, though

Estrid, I don't like you. Please go away. Or get trampled by an Ent

or found out by Arondir. That works as well

have I mentioned that I miss Bronwyn?

Arondir, you're a kinder man (elf) than me. I would have let Estrid faceplant right into the dirt

lol Isildur is such an idiot and I love him for it. The way he got sucked into the mud and pulled Arondir along with him was so funny

hello mud worm! I love how many different creatures we're getting in this show

the cave art! Omg it's beautiful and perfect!

"We don't have a home." This is such a sad sentence and reminds me of the dwarves (and especially Bofur) in the Hobbit movies

Galadriel, I'm sorry, but Elrond just told you he is trying his best to save Celebrimbor (and certainly feels overwhelmed by and terrified of such a task) and you're saying all elves carry such burden? Are you serious?

fuck me, not Elrond getting captured in her vision. Is he going to be forced to watch Celebrimbor get tortured / killed?

I will not be okay if / when that happens. Just saying

also I absolutely adore Camnir and you can bet I am already thinking about writing a fic about him and Elrond

not surprised by Estrid's stunt

shoot her, Arondir. Do us all a favour and shoot her

or maybe she actually is stupid enough to get herself trampled by Ents. One can hope

getting smacked is good too

Arondir, please, was it necessary to stop the nice Entwife?

damn those shots of the Ents look pretty

also did anyone ever think we'd get to see an Ent and Entwife together? Because I didn't and my heart is full.

oh that scene between Arondir and Winterbloom was beautiful

the orcs look so good in this series. I'm so glad we went back to prosthetics

I love how calm Elrond is. He is always careful not to rush into anything, always waits and sees and it keeps saving all their asses

NO! Fuck, are you kidding me? Not Camnir. Please, not him

okay, I have forgiven you for everything you've ever done wrong, Galadriel

and I have so many Elrond and Camnir ideas right now, holy shit, that scene was everything

that flaming arrow move was badass

oh this is how she will get captured

yessss hello Adar! I've missed you! Time for Sauron's exes to team up and wreak havoc

his greeting, I can't. Perfect. I love him so much

what a great episode!

[hostilemuppet]

Saw the JD & Floyd post and was about to say “Maybe he should” but then it just made me sad. Like damn he cares about his family to the detriment of himself, what does that say about his relationship with Creek. I think I remember you writing something about Floyd realizing he’s genuinely fallen in love with him.

you want me to show how much thought ive put into tdau floyd? the funny cokehead with commitment issues? the guy who posts thirst traps out of spite? okay (keep in mind that most of this is just what *I* think and hasnt been cleared with alex, but when i write for floyd its genuinely what i consider in the back of my mind)

i think he was 13 y/o when he went out on his own (1999), began seeing the rest of the troll tree for himself, until he finally escaped on his own at around 15 (2001), a year before the entire tribe was evacuated (2002). he hitch hiked a bit and got to see a bunch of tribes but he only really got to see techno reef and volcano rock city, staying in vrc a lot longer (LONG before barb was in power and turned rocks view on pop from "they fucked up a really long time ago but were safe from them now" to "we need to colonise them back") and discovering a lot about himself in the process

he turned 18 (2004) and, as most ex-child stars do, immediately went IN on hard drugs and sex with strangers, as if thats the test for proving your adulthood. and he had a good time! he spent most of his life drugged to the gills and unable to look himself in the mirror the rare moments he was sober, but, yknow. details. then he got bored. and he went travelling again

at the age of 20 (2006) he left troll kingdom entirely. obviously he stayed CLEAR of bergen town (and silently prayed to whatever god pop trolls typically believe in that his family were safe and undigested). but he saw all sorts of places! places we havent seen yet, with species we havent seen yet, of extremely varying sizes! hell, he mightve met a species or two that are smaller than trolls! imagine that. but spending years travelling, it gets lonely. he never got to connect with anyone. hell, he never even had a real boyfriend! the most he had was that situationship he had that lasted 5 weeks before he got ghosted when that techno troll got back with his girlfriend. (its okay though, he channels his pain into his art, and that was one became his most popular song on bandcamp by a significant margin!)

at 27 years old (2013) he arrived in mount rageous. sure, they were huge, and he was terrified of being eaten, obviously. but they didnt want to eat him! they thought he was cute. and, he wont lie, he liked the attention. he became a novelty, that tiny little creature with his even tinier guitar, who apparently built up such a tolerance he can handle mount rageon drugs. imagine doing blow with stewert little. they loved him, as entertainment. he still didnt have anyone who loved him as a person, but at that point he was willing to settle.

when hes 36 (2023) he gets kidnapped by velvet & veneer, and of course no one thought to look for him. you wouldnt notice if the mouse in your house suddenly went missing. at most youd think someone you live with finally took care of it, and youd move on with your life.

the events of the movie happen, hes reunited with his siblings, he actually feels valued as a person again, AND to top it all off, those two months in the bottle did WONDERS for detoxing. next time he tries pop troll coke he actually feels a buzz! he never thought hed see the day!

brozone reunite, we see the early days of their career carry out in the au. floyd feels like hes on top of the world. hes got his family back, hes back in pop village (albeit, its a different pop village than he knew. hell, they used to all it troll village back then!) hes releasing actual music again, and not just busking for tips (its okay he didnt need much, he rented out a mouse hole for cheap). but he wants an actual connection. he wants a relationship. but hes never actually had that! hes never even felt respected by a potential partner! so he goes back to random hookups. and, yknow, its fun, he guesses. but he wants more

the first troll who seems to actually take interest in him as anything more than a hot piece of ass or "that guy from brozone" rocks his world. hes ashamed to admit that after knowing the guy for 3 hours he already thought about spending the rest of his life with him. he just wasnt used to being spoken to like a person by anyone other than immediate family members! its okay though, he couldnt scare him off, because he was being paid to be there, and after recording himself getting in floyds pants (the only way he knows how to show affection at this point) it was all over the internet

so, you know, obviously floyd wasnt doing great. hes gotten good at hiding his feelings (not like anyone really cares about them anyway) but he was clearly struggling. he did what he does best, and turned it into a joke, so maybe itd hurt a little less. he probably made it worse, but at least he was numb now. he goes back to hookups, deciding hell never have an actual boyfriend, hell never get married, and hes okay with that. well, hes clearly not, but its not like anyone ever asked, so he has to deal.

then he meets creek. and at this point hes not stupid. hes not that naive little kid anymore, and when he wakes up the next morning and realises his newest one night stand was that guy, the asshole, the one who everyone hates, he knows hes the butt of the joke, again. theres probably a camera, again. he leaves before creek wakes up.

but then he meets him again, a few days later. and creek says how much of a shame it is he never got his digits. and floyd doesnt know what to make of this. but he knows he shouldnt trust him. he heard everything riff said about him, everything BRANCH said about him. he knows every one of creeks crimes. but maybe he just wants to have some fun, yknow? everyones always fucking with him, maybe he wants to play around sometime. show the world hes not some little helpless doll.

what follows is about a year and a half of gay chicken on expert mode. creek pretends to love floyd. floyd pretends he doesnt know creeks pretending. floyd feels in control, almost. he gets comfortable. he refuses to believe its love, how could it be love? theyre awful to each other. but its, technically, his first real relationship. he tries not to think about it.

maybe encouraging creek to propose was a little more than seeing how far he can push him before he snaps. maybe he wanted to prove that hes worth it, even if the other guy wasnt. maybe he genuinely cried when he got angelinas egg, even if hed rather die than let creek see him express genuine emotions. he knows hes the sensitive one, but hes more than brozone. hes a person. a person that people dont ever seem to want to know.

then he realises. hes not the only one whos gotten comfortable. creek looks... not happy, exactly. but content. and floyd thinks thats terrifying. its too far, thats not how any of this was supposed to work. it was REVENGE. floyd was fucking with him, because creek was fucking with him first! now hes married, hes MARRIED, with KIDS, TWINS! THAT HE NAMED! and he loves them! and he loves creek! and creek loves him! hes gonna be sick. he cant do this. he cant be here. he lives in a mansion but its suffocating him. he leaves. he divorces creek.

hes miserable again. jd doesnt notice bc hes "the sensitive one", and his other brothers dont know how to bring it up without making it worse. branch is the only one who asks how hes holding up, but he just says hes fine, hell bounce back. he doesnt bounce back

when he meets creek again, he wants to cry. he wants to get on his hands and knees and beg him to take him back, but he has a LITTLE bit of self respect left. when he finds out creek missed him too its more than he can take. when they get drunk, and floyd forces jd to re-marry them, floyd actually feels like a person. a broken person, who healed in a creek-shaped mould, but a person nonetheless. and maybe thats all he can ask for

[fumifooms]

Howl’s moving castle dunmeshi AU

I’ve cracked the code I know why I love Marcille x Chilchuck so much. They’re literally just like Howl’s Moving Castle Howl and Sophie. Okok indulge me for a sec I’m about to dump so many pics and ramble for a bit. I want you to see my marchil vision. It’s fabulous extra cringefail hopeless romantic drama queen x grumpy old sad angry caring hardworking person cursed to be here & cursing fate and giving tough love to everything in a miles radius. No one is safe. From either of them. Calcifer or Micheal is Izutsumi. Wait wait no Calcifer is Senshi and Michael is Izutsumi. Senshi as Calcifer works bc Calcifer is just chained to Howl and is there reminding Howl to not die and take care of himself, giving hints about how to break the curse to Sophie, also the fire demon cooks the eggs and bacon checkmate. And then LAIOS IS TURNIP HEAD OH MY GOD THAT WORKS OUT PERFECTLY. Chilchuck & Marcille, screaming terrified of the weird scarecrow chasing after them, meanwhile the weird scarecrow that’s harmless: :(. Wizard Suliman is Falin and the second fire demon is Winged Lion, so bam everything comes full circle.

I’m assuming most people who’ll see this post maybe saw the movie but not the book, and what you need to know is that the movie makes Howl so much dreamier and collected and cool, whereas in the book he’s just a drama queen 24/7 that’s it. He’s a wet cat dressed in expensive sparkly glittery gowns that needs to be yelled at to do anything he needs to do. He complains. He bemoans. Meanwhile Sophie is, honestly pretty like in the movie? Less contrarian and anger issues but will grumble and yells while cleaning nonetheless. Hardworking but will pathetically sit down on a chair in a dark corner to cry about her aching bones and OHH this is ALL because she’s the eldest child and she was doomed for unhappiness and no one can ever love her… So she’ll whack everyone into order and purge her feelings through aggressive cleaning and using weed killer. IS THIS NOT GIVING MARCILLE & CHIL TO YOU?!

There’s this funny widespread take from the fandom:

And it couldn’t be more true in a marchil context either. Like come on. For all of this post just swap the names of Howl for Marcille and Sophie for Chilchuck.

(Last one with the art by Cookiekappa on Tumblr)

Tell me this isn’t so Marcille. Tell me Chil wouldn’t run away from home thinking he’s failed life and is no longer in shape to work and now has to waddle in self-pity, seeking out wizards which he hates and finds shady bc it’s his last option, and then end up a maid & cleans everything out of spite and also worry for the person living there. Tell me Marcille wouldn’t throw a depressed slime tantrum so bad that it causes a partial town evacuation because her wails summon unknown horrors, over her HAIR. Forget slime she’d blow up the house instantly. She would breakdance as refusal to go see the king. Chilchuck would call her a slitherer-outer and she would gasp in offense and they’d have a fight.

Marcille having full on poems laying around and then Chil & Izu seeing them and being like "Ah yes, this must be a spell, it makes no sense and is so extra, just like how silly our resident witch and her magic is". Izutsumi going "Okay peepaw I’ll teach you how to use a magical bucket just take one step forward-" and they immediately fuck it up and they’re left stranded in far unknown lands. Chilchuck complaining that HIS BACK HURTS. And at every turn or something mildly inconveniencing him "NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO THE MIDDLE CHILD".

And can we talk about the aging motif, the curse… Marcille never letting herself grow close to someone even though she does all these grand gestures for them at first. Meanwhile her fear of loss stares at her straight in the eye whenever she looks at 90 years old Chilchuck, and her deciding to not run away from their relationship is what ends up healing both of them. She gets over her fear of intimacy and he grows over feeling like a terribly dull unlovable failure. Me sobbing when I remember how Sophie’s curse of being old is a self-inflicted manifestation of herself thinking she’s romantically unlovable and weak…….

This is it for now but rest assured that I want to make art of this, have these memes for now

[charliehoennam]

Hi Julie! 💛

I saw this in another fandom and now I'm sending the same question to a bunch of Jake girlies (gn) because it’s so interesting seeing everybody’s answers!

Who are your Top 3 Jake boys and why? Is there a specific piece of art (fic, gif, fan art, etc.) for them that you like a lot?

omggggg thank you so much for the interest! i hardly ever get any asks and when i do, it's usually a request lol not that i'm complaining but it's really nice to talk about the characters and not just write for them.

this is really hard to answer because i think jake is a great actor and he brings so many things that i love about his characters. keep in mind i haven't watched all his movies though, so this list is solely based on what i have seen already.

it was really hard to think about this.

1: David Loki

There is so much mystery within this character and everything about him just makes him all the more intriguing. he makes me want to dissect him like he's a goddamn academic subject and scream into a pillow. I could write an entire thesis on this character. I can't forget how he didn't even turn his nose at the sight of an extremely decomposed body in the priest's basement like this man can fucking handle anything. He's committed to his job and to getting to the truth and I love that about him.

2: Brian Taylor.

I love this man so much, he had to be on here. What I love about Brian is that he's a whole-hearted man. He makes the best out of his days, is light-hearted and just wants to make the people around him smile and laugh. He is the epitome of class clowns, but he's also really smart,. hard-working and probably an over-achiever. I love the fact that he work AND studies like this man wants the best for him and his loved ones. I feel like he would be the kind to remember small things like the way you like your coffee or your go-to order at McDonald's, but you wouldn't expect him to so it would always surprise you. AND BALD JAKE IS SEXY IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS

3. Tommy Cahill

I KNOW I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING FOR HIM YET BUT HE DESERVES THE WORLD. God, this man knows he's made some bad choices but he just wants to be a better person and he's so desperate for it too. i think Tommy's heart truly has good intentions and it shows when he apologized to the woman he robbed. i don't think he'll ever really forgive himself secretly, not for the crime, but for having terrified an innocent person and the fact that he wants to be the complete opposite from the monster he was in the moment is what i really admire about him.

[aneggofmystery]

The Monkie Kid Style Shift

(from the perspective of a fictive. i promise that's important)

To start, for those who are unaware of my existence bc you only know mills or just dont know us at all, hi! I'm Cicada, he/she pronouns, and I'm a Tang fictive. I wanted to give my opinion on all the shit that happened today, because I believe I and other fictives have unique experiences regarding source media changes :3

(the rest of the post will be under the cut, scroll away if you'd like to avoid spoilers from the trailer) (and, quick side note, NO MATTER WHAT I SAY HERE, PLEASE DO NOT HARASS ANYONE. CHRIST I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS, BUT PLEASE DO NOT HARASS REAL PEOPLE OVER THESE LEGOS. K? K.)

Okay, so we all know that Flying Bark's animation has always been an integral part to the spirit of Monkie Kid as a show, and is the main reason why a lot of people love it. As a semi source-connected fictive, seeing that style is like literally seeing me and my family in photographs.

like, y'all have no idea the emotional damage this shot specifically does to me whenever i see it.

and while, yes, there is a possibility that WildBrain can simply just be learning the style (hell, even FlyingBark had to kinda learn their own style in the early days), it's an extremely drastic change and, thus, is bound to cause collateral damage.

I love speaking about my husbands, for example, and the FlyingBark style luckily gives me a great outlet to do so (pignapped lives in my mind rent free).

However, and I can't speak for any other fictives, but the art style shift is kind of like if you watched your family get replaced by aliens or robots right in front of you and couldn't do anything about it. Stiff, doesn't really have a lot of character. I've seen people theorize that they're gonna be animating on rigs instead of handrawn, which matches up. That means, however, that we can't achieve awesome shots such as. every lbd scene ever.

I know plenty of Singlet but neurodivergent people who are also distressed about this, there's familiarity. Especially in my fellow autistic folk, that feels natural, good, and we wouldn't give it up for the world.

(We mod in one of the biggest Monkie Kid discord servers and, dear gods, the fucking backlash. we're all going through it.)

I'm kind of worried that this was pushed, not only because of the ATLA movie, but also because everyone on the staff team was worried because the fandom was antsy.

Can't speak for anyone else, but all the "save me s5" jokes I made were just light hearted, and I'd much rather have quality over quantity. Personally, i'd be willing to wait years for the next monkie kid season if it meant that we could still have it animated by FlyingBark.

Now, of course, this isn't what we're getting, and we'll have to accept that, I just think it should also be valid for fans to be reasonable skeptical at the quality, no matter if it's still the same writers and VAs. It's a huge change, and all I ask is that you're patient with me.

WildBrain is an amazing studio, but I'm not sure they can adjust to the shift in style. Of course, someone's bound to be dissatisfied with it, including myself, and I ask that y'all are patient with people like that. Don't say shit like "if you're a real fan, you wouldn't care about the art style change." That's not nice.

sorry if this isn't coherent in the slightest, I have been crying for a while for the reasoning i mentioned about feeling like I've lost a part of myself. This is terrifying for me, and i ask that you please be kind to others like me <3

anyways, follow if you wanna hear me yap ab BreakfastShipping

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Can we get the Star Seven's favorite TV shows or Movies if you haven't yet? <3

AYYYY that’s what’s up!!! I did OrangeJuiceVerse Stan and Kyle’s favorite media here (shoutout to the wife for askin) but here’s the rest of the seven!

KENNY!!! Ok I cannot stress enough how much of a Muppets enthusiast this man is. Kenny absolutely wanted to work for Jim Henson Creature Shop at some point (same) and he fucking LOVES anything remotely related!!! He’s also a big horror fan due to the fact that he’s seen a lot of gnarly shit in his (consistently interrupted by deaths) life, and OH. MY. GOD. he fucking loves Troma Entertainment. Lloyd Kaufman and his gross ass vulgar comedy is Kenny’s lifeblood. He introduced the m5 to Toxic Avenger and Shakespeare’s Shitstorm (idk if that one’s actually out yet my partner’s just friends with Lloyd so we got an early copy) and literally every single one of his movies are so gross but Kenny very much enjoys them, out here casually enjoying the Tromaville High trilogy without flinching once. And he LOVES watching buddy comedies with Stan!!! The two of them will be up to all hours just watching Superbad and Clerks and any movie where two guys are in silly situations smh. And this guy ADORES the marvel netflix shows, especially Daredevil omg and he went feral for The Punisher. Kenny has also seen every Barbie movie ever

Tweek! He is a CHRONIC rewatcher!!! He’s seen Sherlock more times than he can count. Any show that’s formulaic, he likes it bc it isn’t unpredictable, so think kids shows. BUT!!! He also very much enjoys the most obscure gory art pieces, loves early film like A Trip To The Moon and Stagecoach, and adores Buster Keaton. At some point Stan got him into Supernatural and Tweek was TERRIFIED at points, but he loves the lore and the attention to detail. And he laughs his ASS OFF at Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia but it stresses him out lmao

Craig watched The Orville and absolutely lost his mind getting obsessed with it, he may be an astronomy professor and generally into space, but he can take or leave Star Wars. And Star Trek. His biggest guilty pleasure with movies that only Tweek knows about? This stoic mf fucking LOVES musicals. Like if Stan knew, OH BOY he’d be over at apt 2 constantly hanging out just because Craig is watching The Greatest Showman. Craig doesn’t discriminate against objectively bad cgi either, so he genuinely enjoyed the 2019 Cats and rewatches it frequently. He loves Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and introduced it to the rest of the star sev (Cartman loved it, Kyle was repulsed by “Bless Your Beautiful Hide”). One of his favorite shows is How It’s Made lmfao and he ADORES Mythbusters.

Marj omg she’s such a romantic, movies based on Jane Austen novels? She’s there. Bridgerton? Yep. But ALSO!!! Any movie that’s very race against time or like a movie where someone is falsely accused of a crime, she’s watchin it, and DUDE she LOVES CARTOONS!!! Her parents only ever let her watch pbs kids and she was SUCH an Arthur Girlie!!! Omg Fetch was a fave too!!! Also shes showed the group some DARK movies, like it was her turn to pick on movie night in the Survivor House and she put on The Black Phone and everyone was like JESUS CHRIST MARJ WHAT bc they were expecting her to pick Fern Gully or something again but nope she was like “fellas it’s really cerebral and dynamic” and literally Stan got so freaked he had to leave the room

Cartman is a HUGE reality show guy!!! He and Marj are sittin there watching the bachelor with popcorn and a love of drama!!! LITERALLY he lives for the arguments in Dance Moms and the pettiness like “oh you guys Jill bought a bench for Abby this is about to be freakin sweet” lmfao messy king. He’s definitely more of a show guy than a movie guy, but as long as there’s significant arguments he’s clocked in! Also when he was watching Hannibal 24/7 Kyle was VERY concerned lmao. Cartman’s favorite movie is ‘Alive’ (I think that’s what it’s called?) JUST because it scared kenny so bad when the characters had to eat each other. His favorite show is Lost and he was out here chomping his popcorn and that scene in the episode where Kate has her shirt off bc they ran into a swarm of bees and Charlie goes “I think it was full of C’s” and Cartman is like “hell no those are A cups at best” (this is a very specific hc I’m sorry) but lmfaoooo Cartman absolutely sends me into orbit bc he absolutely doesn’t shut up when he’s watching ANYTHING!!! His favorite musical is Phantom of The Opera.

There ya go my dude! Thank you again for asking I LOVE getting asks especially abt OJV and I deadass had so much fun thinking on this!

[bazzybelle]

I'm here for you nerding out about history, so: 4, 5, 9, 13, 29!

Oh boy, do I have a long post for you... One of these took up A LOT of time fact-checking and researching, I could do a power point presentation on it ;)

4) Favourite historical era?

The Italian Renaissance, hands down. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am such a fucking dweeb for the Renaissance. Specifically the 1400s in Florence, during the rise of The Medici. Say what you want about them, (yes they were corrupt and essentially a Renaissance version of a mafia family) but the good they did for Florence AND the preservation of ancient culture cannot be denied. 

To be able to live during that time, when art and literature and philosophy was thriving. Where new ideas about love and spirituality were making their ways into the intelligentsia, I would have LOVED to witness that. 

Thing is, I’d have to do it disguised as a man, because history is a bag of dicks, unfortunately. But just to be able to be a part of a symposium with Marsilio Ficino, Pico della Mirandola, and Lorenzo dei’ Medici and just listen to them discuss Plato and the ways of Platonic Love. To bear witness to Botticelli painting or Michelangelo sculpting. My sibling once told me I have a “Renaissance Face” (which was probably the best compliment they could have given me). If that could have gotten me an in, with these guys, even as a model, it would have been fine with me. Just to watch the masters at their craft. 

I dunno, maybe I could have joined them (disguised as a man, of course), and share my own thoughts about philosophy and love and sacred bonds between people. Maybe talk about new ideas involving gender… who knows?

Not to mention, Florence also had a thriving underground queer scene during this time… so… do with that what you will.

Renaissance Florence… Sometime between 1450 and 1490.

5) Favourite weapon?

You know, as much as I love history, I really don’t care for the military stuff. In fact, I had to look up Ancient Roman weapons, because if I were to have a favourite weapon, it would be from the Roman Empire. 

So, in my quick research of Roman weaponry, I remembered that the Eastern Roman Empire (or Byzantine Empire) had a fucking BADASS weapon that had everyone from the Crusaders to the Mongols quaking. They called it Greek Fire, and it was typically used during naval battles. What you would have, if a flame-thrower device attached to the front of your ship and Greek Fire would just come out from there. The precise recipe for Greek Fire has been lost to the ages, but you did not want to fuck with it. 

What made Greek Fire especially horrifying was that it would continue to burn while in contact with water. You could not douse it. You just had to let it burn until it ran out. Think of that creepy bright green fire from Game Of Thrones. The one that they used for the Battle of Blackwater and that epic church explosion. That would be the closest thing to Greek Fire that I can think of. It was terrifying, amazing, and allowed Constantinople to remain a military powerhouse in the Mediterranean, despite constantly being threatened by neighbouring empires.

9) Favourite historical film?

I already answered this question in another ask. It’s La Vita E Bella (Life is Beautiful). I highly encourage everyone to watch this movie, but only when feeling emotionally stable because it has a VERY sad ending. 

Here are some other historical movies I REALLY love: 

The King’s Speech - Can’t stand the Monarchy, but GOD I love Colin Firth and he is AMAZING as King George VI. 

The Young Victoria - Again… Do not like the Monarchy, but Emily Blunt is so charming, and this was such a sweet movie. 

The Imitation Game - Made me seeth in fury over the injustice served to Alan Turing, but fucking Bumblebee Cabbagepatch was SO GOOD. 

And again… SO many movies I need to watch… I mean Jesus.

13) Something random about some random historical person in a random era.

This random fact is about the Emperor Justinian and his Consort, the Empress Theodora. He changed a marriage law in order to be able to marry her. 

Back in the Early days of the Eastern Roman Empire (or Byzantine Empire), around 525 CE, you weren’t allowed to marry beneath your class, and Theodora was not only a commoner, but she was an… an… actress! (cue shocked gasps and pearl clutching here). Mind you, she was also known as a prostitute, but that’s debatable. Anyway, Justinian created a law so that her status could be changed, and then changed another law, so that he could marry her. He was so in love with her, that he did not give any shits about what anyone had to say about their union. 

And honestly, he could not have picked a better Consort. Theodora was smart, funny, and an all-around badass. She challenged him, matched him, and took charge when she needed to. She was the reason the Nika Revolts failed and the Emperor kept his throne. She cared for Justinian while he was fighting the Plague (yes, that Plague, it was around during Justinian’s time too). 

God, I love them.

29) Great historical mystery you are interested in?

Oooo… This is another REALLY good question.

The first answer I came up with is a bit of a “cheat” amongst historians. A sorta of “of course you would pick that, everyone wants to know what happened there”, but I really don’t care. When I first heard about The Princes In The Tower, I was beyond fascinated by their story and the mystery surrounding them. 

Ok, a bit of a backstory. Picture it. England, 1483. For the last several decades, the country has been ravaged by a civil war known as The Wars of The Roses. I will NOT go into this, because Christ we do not have time for that. All you need to know for this story is that the current monarch is Edward IV. He has MANY children, among which are two young sons (an heir and a spare). If he can keep hold of his reign for long enough, he is set to establish a new dynasty. Unfortunately for him, he dies in April after an unexpected illness (do with this what you will, could have been poison, could have been the Middle Ages where a paper cut could kill you). 

Now, England did not really have a Law of Succession (that would come MUCH later, in 1701), a reigning monarch would have to hope that his vassals would follow who he deemed as heir and not stir any shit. For the most part, it worked out well, but there were a couple of instances where shenanigans took place (see: Empress Matilda and The Anarchy). ANYWAY, the heir to the British throne was Edward IV’s son, Edward V. Thing is, Edward’s 12. He’s a child, and not ready to take the throne. Before his death, Edward IV established that until the time of his son’s majority, the Kingdom would be ruled under a Regency, headed by his younger brother, Richard, Duke of Gloucester. Richard would henceforth be known as the Lord Protector (the most powerful guy in the Kingdom, basically). 

Makes sense, right? Well, get ready for some shenanigans. 

This is already getting WAY too long, so I’ll speed things up. Richard claims that the King isn’t safe with his current protectors (his maternal uncle, and his half-brother), so he has them arrested and executed and the King placed under his custody (for his protection). This causes the King’s mother, Elizabeth Woodville to go into sanctuary at Westminster Abbey. She takes her remaining children with her (including the spare, 9 year old Richard, Duke of York). 

Up until this point, everyone is certain that the young King will be coronated as soon as he and Uncle Richard arrive in London. However, that does not happen. The coronation is postponed again, and again, and again. The young King, meanwhile, is sent to live in the Tower of London (which at that time served as a place where one would wait to be coronated). Here’s where things get a little dicey, see Uncle Richard claims his dearly departed brother was previously married before Elizabeth Woodville, thereby making any and all his children illegitimate. Thus making him the true heir to the throne. Around this time, Richard requested that the 9-year old Duke of York be sent as well to be protected in the Tower. 

The last time anyone would see the two Princes would be in the summer of 1483. Richard is crowned King Richard III (of Shakespeare fame) and would go on to rule for a little while before dying at the Battle of Bosworth Field (where “A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” comes from). Henry Tudor becomes King Henry VII and establishes the well-known Tudor dynasty. 

The fate of the boys remains, to this day, unknown. There are many theories as to what happened. The most popular one being that they were smothered with a pillow and buried under a staircase in the Tower. In fact, a couple of centuries later, some bones were found in the tower and were assumed to be those of the two Princes. However, examinations in the 30s showed them to contain animal bones, along with the bones of two small children. No further testing was done, and the bones were re-buried. There have been petitions for there to be DNA testing involved, but Queen Elizabeth II refused to do so. 

Who knows, maybe King Charlie III is just as curious as the rest of us, and will agree to exhume the bodies once more. 

There are other theories and many pretenders that have popped up throughout history, but this post is already STUPID long, so I’ll leave it here

ASK ME HISTORICAL QUESTIONS! THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!

[winns-stuff]

LO APPRECIATION:

Okay, sadly I don’t have much information on this being and I’m not sure what to call them since she was a side character but y’all remember that cat banker that Hades intimidated for doing her job? Yeah, we’re celebrating her today. Let’s all clap because she deserves so much respect.

What’s insane to me is that she got mistreated by Hades at work during his so called “love arc” and yet no one bats an eye? Now imagine if this was Demeter everyone would be so fucking pissed. The blatant hypocrisy of it all is infuriating to me because I’m tired of this “let’s hold this character accountable but ignore the character who does worser shit!!” like no, if you’re really about holding characters accountable I expect there to be no biases or anything because Hades has been the absolute biggest menace in this whole comic and it needs to be addressed or else I’ll uproot myself and I don’t even know how to do it or what that means.

My thing with this interaction is that it was so disgusting. That whole episode made me want to rip out my spleen, how the hell are you going to get mad at that lady for following basic bank orders? She asks for Persephone’s ID and instead of just going to get her one Hades gets fucking furious are you serious? Why does everyone just look the other way with that? The fact that the employees are terrified of him coming and have to prepare themselves for his attitude is completely and utterly wretched. Like this isn’t the first time Hades has gone out of his way to abuse his powers just for Persephone’s sake, and I think it’s fucking ridiculous. Don’t you think she’ll need an ID to interact with your modern and up to date world? Don’t you think she’ll need to learn things on her own because she’s going to be down there? Or does Hades just like her having the IQ of a fucking donut and likes the fact that she HAS to depend on him for regular everyday shit.

This isn’t what respect looks like folks. If I’m in a relationship with you and you feel the need to spoon feed me every bit of information and keep things from me for my sake we might as well not even be together. It’s not a relationship it’s a paternal thing that we’re trying to mark as a relationship. Think about it, Hades helps Persephone with everything, explains everything to her, lends her money, protects her, and speaks on her behalf. Who does that remind you of? A father. Hades is taking the role of a father and Persephone the child because she’s retaining all of this information from him and him only, many other people have already told her things that Hades had to dumb down for her but she only listens to Hades about it? Who else does that? A young child with their parents because they know them and they have the upmost trust with them. It’s giving Father-Daughter and I’m so upset no one calls this stuff out, it’s sick to even create something like this and market it as a romance. Romance is an art form between two souls, it’s beautiful and messy, passionate and determined, creative yet powerful. Romance is so important in literature and movies and Love is a key thing that makes us who we are, it shouldn’t be used like this.

Anyways, back to the gorgeous bank manager and her employee. I loved her design I thought it was so cute and really unique, her eyes stood out and I loved the way her outfit complimented her.. fur? Everything went well with it and she’s literally the only thing I enjoyed in that chapter cause she was so breathtaking she deserves the world and more because god… The way she was treated made me want to eat a damn tree. It was so angering cause he didn’t even have to do that at all it was unnecessary and completely immature.

I loved her little personality too, she seems like the type of person to get things done and I respect that a lot because it’s a refreshing character trait from the main cast. She also seems approachable, likable, charming, kind, encouraging, responsible, and overall wonderful. I love her and I would love to see a webtoon only starring her cause let’s be real, someone needs to guide Hades on how to be a better boss and king, and who else to do it then the queen herself? The bank manager.

Anyways, sadly that’s all I can say about her since we know so little but genuinely I’m so upset how overlooked and ignored she was in that episode. She didn’t deserve any of that for doing her job, Hades deserves to get fucking fired fuck him. Also sorry for the little rant but I was trying to refresh my memory of her and I had to sorta read the episode, update that shit gave me a migraine with how shitty he was. I’m really at my limit if I see Hades mistreat another innocent bystander literally doing nothing I might make a 20 paragraph post about how disgusting and vile I think he is because there’s no words to describe the things I wanna talk about with him. My hate for him is genuinely with the passion of a million suns, he’s terrible. Anyways, love her and her magnificent employees <3

[ludinusdaleth]

I think I'll go for 4, 5 and 24—dealer's choice as to which of Artagan, Ludinus or Ira (or any npc, really. They don't get enough love.)

oh you have no idea the can of warms you've opened, lol.... i will happily do all 3!

this got so long i actually had to put a read more:

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

artagan - it isnt media per say but i really want to set him loose in our own reality and see what he'd do (there have been some hints i think, if half-jokingly said, that hes been here - boy do i think about that often.)

ira - we really should just let him star in his own horror movie. you could put him in a guillermo del toro film, and no one would bat an eye.

ludinus - i want to see how lud would react to faerun. a world so close to his own, but where the weave of magic is directly controlled by a god. there is an odd dichotomy in that faerun is more controlled than exandria and yet breaking that universe's laws are infinitely easier, and i think he would fall into obsession with that.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

so.... im gonna (un)ashamedly plug my playlists for them here.... please ignore that they can go as long as twelve fucking hours.... ill try to narrow down specific songs that REALLY hit about them, though.

artagan - "within you" by david bowie, from labyrinth, is a perfect fit. not only is arti based on jareth but the song's meaning directly ties into him & jester. jareth is terrified of being nothing more than a lost concept, a lost celebrity crush made fae king, as sarah is metaphorically maturing. "how you turn my world, you precious thing/You starve and near exhaust me/Everything I've done, I've done for you/I move the stars for no one..." i mean, c'mon. "family of me" by ben folds, "celebrity status" by mariana's trench, "lapis lazuli" by the oh hellos, and "due west" by kelsey lu also really hit as arti songs for me.

ira - "mad iqs" by i dont know how but they found me is a really good song for ira's hatred of ludinus. "a mask of my own face" by lemon demon is self explanatory and far too specific, due to his fascination with ashton's mask of him, with the song mentioning "dancing with all the bells". he would go wild for and try to emulate "thriller" by michael jackson or "i cant decide" by the scissor sisters.

ludinus - if i did a speedpaint of lud, id set it to "science fiction" by church of the cosmic skull. "and all the people, they stood on their chairs, and they stared, at the man with the silver hair/taken the findings of the science man/raising his hands to the air!/so he's making the minds up of the millions, and they'd never deny that he's right/cause he's taken a prize of many a size/if ever he dies he'll have a tombstone of a very high height". "brutus" by the buttress is ABSOLUTELY a ruby vanguard trio song and i even used it in my art of them before. "all history is vengeance" by brad derrick from the eso soundtrack is what goes through my head at the malleus key. "blood upon the snow" by hozier & "never look away" by vienna teng also really work for him. i think "survivors guilt" by emily axford (yeah, prism) also has lyrics FAR too tailored to him - "i see you in my dreams/young, and brave, and pre-calamity/i will tell you a story/i will be the voice you lost too soon/because even in your absence, even in your death/im still your moon".

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

(i wouldnt say im in the fandoms for all of these, but)

artagan - i think it somewhat obvious he's based off of jareth in labyrinth - his voice is basically david bowie's singing voice. to a lesser but still strong degree he's very much marvel's loki, down to the voice - if, honestly, an infinitely better take on the trickster god. as a past extreme loki fan the pipeline is there for sure.

ira - ashley said she & matt based fearne's story off a guillermo del toro film and i can see that in many fae this go-round, especially ira. he is basically a doug jones character. it's very easy to compare him to creepypastas like the russian sleep experiment or slenderman, too.

ludinus - he has some heavy similarities to emperor belos of owl house, vyrthur of tes, prince nuada from hellboy, and other characters who fit the archetype of a white-haired, ancient, pale elven (or elven passing) man, from a different time, who murders & (in some cases) colonizes to exact vengeance on gods, humans, or similar entities he feels have destroyed those around him. characters clearly in the wrong but who do bring up important topics of the endless cycle of brutality they were caught in, mixed with their privelege in every other circumstance. he also reminds me of mannimarco of tes. they look exactly alike and both shadow run an empire, somewhat in cahoots and yet at odds with a balding white haired pale human man within that same empire. oh! and fëanor from the silmarillion.

thanks for asking! sorry this is so long, floodgates are opened when i discuss men i wish were my fictional partners, lol.

[chaotic-mystery]

15 questions + 15 mutuals

Thanks for the tags, I forgot to get back to this until now…ooops. <3

were you named after anyone?

No, I don’t think so! My mom and dad wanted all of our names to be in alphabetical order since they were J + K, so my sister is L & I’m M.

when was the last time you cried?

Good god I cry all the fucking time is kind of ridiculous. You would’ve never guessed I’m an Aries.

do you have kids?

No & idk if I would ever want them…that’s terrifying to think I could end up like my parents regardless of how hard my mom tried.

do you use sarcasm a lot?

It’s almost inappropriate how much I use it

what's the first thing you notice about people?

This may be just because I work in retail but I notice how people treat workers + their tone. If they are shitty to people just doing their job, they’re a shitty person. Outside of that, I think how they present themselves on a first impression is what I notice, I can tell if they’re trying too hard.

what's your eye color?

It’s a weird mix of blue / grey with green around the middle but not a lot

scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies 110%. It’s all I know at this point.

any special talents?

I used to be super good at piano & cello. I’m an artist and I do my own nails at home. I can retain weird information really well and often times can remember movie info that is odd.

where were you born?

The mothafuckin’ Midwest babyyyyy. It’s embarrassing I have nothing to be proud of 💀

what are your hobbies?

My nails at home, drawing/painting/digital art. sleeping, being a cute girl.

have any pets?

I have two dogs! They’re both a Dalmatian mix and they’re my world.

what sports do you play/have you played?

I tried out for the volleyball team in middle school and when I didn’t make it I cried and swore I’d never do sports.

how tall are you?

5’7 honeyyy, a lil stallion

favorite subject in school?

I loved AP art, it gave me so much freedom and I got to do whatever I wanted.

dream job?

Something that is stable and I can live comfortably, and just be happy. But ultimately it would probably be something to do with art / writing

Feel free to do this if you want, I’d love to see it! 🖤

[themattress]

Disney’s The Little Mermaid (2023)

All right, I’ve seen it, so let’s do this.

PROS:

- I have some problems with Ariel in this movie, but Halle Bailey ain’t one of ‘em. I mean, good lord. Not only is her singing as beautiful as expected, but her vocal impression of Jodi Benson from the original movie is phenomenal. If you hadn’t seen either movie and just heard audio files of the two back to back, it would be exceedingly difficult to pick out which was which, that’s how spot-on Bailey is with her performance. And even when Ariel is mute, Bailey never fails with her facial expressions, which continue to convey her lovable personality. You totally believe her to be Ariel because she totally believes herself to be Ariel; the sincerity that she exudes is proof of just how committed to doing this iconic character justice she was.

- Luca Paguro himself, Jacob Tremblay, was perfect castling for the voice of Flounder. 

- While I hate everything else about him, I love King Triton’s design and general vibe. He’s less of a traditional king and more of a Poseidon-like god, and that’s a cool take on him.

- The shark attack sequence. I especially liked the new way that Ariel outsmarts the shark. 

- "Part of Your World", both how the scene is staged and, of course, Halle Bailey’s singing. 

- "For the First Time". Again, it’s a Halle Bailey song. You can’t go wrong there.

- Noma Dumezweni as Queen Selina, Eric’s adoptive mother. As pointless as this character was from a story standpoint, I thought that Dumezweni sold it with her performance. 

- Art Malik as Grimsby. I totally bought his fatherly concern and affection for Eric.

- Once they’re finally allowed to start bonding after needlessly putting it off to pad out the runtime some more, Ariel and Eric’s chemistry is on point, especially in the dancing scene.

- Jodi Benson’s cameo as a merchant who gives Ariel a fork. Unexpected and delightful. 

- From the second half of “Poor Unfortunate Souls” and all through the second half of the movie, Melissa McCarthy is suddenly good as Ursula. She’s no Pat Carroll, of course, but she finally has the bombast and intimidation factor down which she was lacking in before.

- Jessica Alexander as Vanessa, who owned those two-or-so minutes she was on screen.

- Before the way it ended I was enjoying the climax. King Triton being straight-up killed rather than turned into a polyp was a genuine shock, and gigantic Ursula was utterly terrifying.

CONS:

- The opening scene is awful. Rather than that epic shot of Eric’s ship coming out of the fog with the music blaring, we get what looks to be a mermaid (actually a dolphin) swimming underwater as whimsical music plays, only for it to get cut off like a joke as the sailors on Eric’s ship try to harpoon the “mermaid” while yelling hateful superstition. Just a terrible start.

- Rather than Triton’s hatred of humans being pure bigotry on his part, the movie decides to "both sides" the conflict, making humans equally as hateful and fearful of merpeople as merpeople are of them. Worse still, they each have valid reasons for this hate and fear, making the end resolution of it being brushed off as a big misunderstanding ring hollow.

- Jonah Hauer-King as Eric. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t take him seriously in the role.

- Worse still, Eric's whole character is fucked up on multiple fronts. First off, he’s now adopted royalty instead of genuine royalty, which gives off the unfortunate implication that this is the real reason he bonds so well with the common folk and desires a life of adventure. Secondly, his life situation is made the same as Ariel’s instead of different, pushing them as kindred spirits too literally and losing much of what made him desirable to Ariel in the original. And finally, his romance with Ariel starts and ends on a lackluster note, with him being too quick to dismiss having anything to do with her after he learns she’s mute and then too quick to accept being together with her was a fantasy never meant to happen after he learns she’s a mermaid. In trying to give him more depth, the filmmakers just made him more confusing.

- The undersea world lacks appeal. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it and have since the trailers came out. More proof that animation is an art form that has things live-action can never replicate, and that Disney needs to stop making these live-action remakes already.

- Javier Bardem as King Triton. He is absolutely terrible in this, giving one of the most dull and disinterested performances I’ve seen in recent memory. He sells none of his lines.

- Triton's character isn’t any better than his actor’s performance. Beyond his bigotry against humans having more justification to it, he is downright cruel and unrelatable in his treatment of Ariel. When Triton crossed the line into abusive parenting in the original by destroying Ariel’s collection, we immediately see a flicker of realization, horror and remorse on his face once he snaps out of his rage. He’s too proud to admit to anything yet, but it helps sell his “What have I done?” remorse that we see later, and his sacrifice for Ariel’s sake in the climax. But here, he seems to have no such remorse. He’s hardly a father; just a tyrant.

- Flounder looks unappealing and Jacob Tremblay’s voice can’t save that. Sebastian looks even more unappealing, and Daveed Diggs’ obnoxiously high-pitched voice only makes his character worse. Scuttle looks unappealing, and Awkwafina creates such a different character with her performance that I don’t get why they bothered even keeping the “Scuttle” name. Much like with The Lion King remake, it again shows animation’s superiority in this regard.

- Ariel's hair is boring regular red and not vivid real red. That’s a fail on such an absurdly fundamental level, as well as a disservice to Halle Bailey who could have rocked such hair.

- Ariel's character, in the script, is as sanitized as I feared. She’s more of a socially conscious fighter for equality rather than a teenager realistically out primarily for herself and her own ambitions, her sexual lust for Eric is toned down to near non-existence, she’s much less of a rebel since she only goes to the surface for the first time when going to see Eric’s ship, she’s made to have far more hesitation in her deal with Ursula to the point she almost backs out entirely until Ursula cranks up her pressure campaign, and as I will talk more about later gets some needless “girlboss” additions the same way previous Disney heroines in live-action remakes have. Thank God for Halle Bailey, who minimizes the damage as best as she can.

- In the first half of the movie all the way through to the first half of “Poor Unfortunate Souls”, Melissa McCarthy is way too understated as Ursula. She’s doing a campy Bette Midler or Eartha Kitt style of voice, but doesn’t go big enough on her lines and absolutely lacks the skin-crawling, psychotic menace that Pat Carroll so effortlessly provided the character with.

- Restoring the deleted concept of Ursula being Triton’s sister and Ariel’s aunt was pointless. 

- "Under the Sea". Beyond the issues of the underwater world on display not working as well as in animation and Daveed Diggs’ ear poison of a voice and delivery not holding even a candlewick to Samuel E Wright, Ariel joins in on the song by the end! Excuse me? The whole point of the song is to convince her to give up her interest in the human world! Her singing along (without being forced to because it’s part of a stage musical rehearsal that she’s obligated to partake in, as is the case in Kingdom Hearts II) is akin to signing off on that! 

- There’s a plot hole about Eric’s kingdom. Apparently it’s incredibly paranoid and isolationist, and part of why Eric wants to explore other places and make connections with them is so that the kingdom “doesn’t get left behind”. That doesn’t stop its village and marketplace from being a bustling hub of multicultural diversity! Which is it? Is the kingdom isolationist or not?

- Related to the above: Eric’s song, “Wild Uncharted Waters”. Yawn.

- Also, Ariel's sisters are all different ethnicities. I assumed this meant that King Triton slept around, which certainly wouldn’t be out of place for a Greek god like he’s styled after. But no, the sisters still speak of “Mother” as if they all have the same mother! How does that work?

- Flotsam and Jetsam don't talk. Boo! Let them talk!

- There is an absolutely pointless change where Ursula, apparently having no real confidence in herself, cheats in her deal with Ariel by slipping in an amnesia potion so that Ariel forgets she needs to kiss Eric in three days’ time to stay human forever. OK, but why does that prevent her from retaining the memory of Sebastian later straight-up telling her she needs to kiss Eric? And why is she still that heartbroken when Eric gets engaged to Vanessa, given that she no longer thinks it means she won’t get to kiss him and thus won’t remain human? 

- Instead of the newly human Ariel making it to shore and getting dressed in a sail before Max sniffs her out and leads Eric to her, she gets caught in a fisher boat’s net, the fisherman gives her a cloak to wear, and he...brings her to the castle? Why? When you fish out a mute girl adrift at sea, why does your mind jump to the freaking castle and its prince as the go-to solution for getting her help? And like I said before, it actually takes away from Eric and Ariel’s bond, since him finding her and, despite his disappointment that she can’t be the girl who saved him since she’s mute, still taking care of her personally since that’s the decent thing to do was a great showing of Eric being a nice guy whom you could understand Ariel loving.

- Actually, the usage of Max is disappointing in general. Eric saves him on the burning ship so that important plot point is checked off, but him having earlier met Ariel and memorized her scent ends up having no pay-off since he isn’t the one to lead Eric to Ariel. On top of this, he doesn’t get to be the one who causes Vanessa’s shell to break and Ariel to get her voice back later, so that’s another important plot function he’s deprived of. And he’s not even a sheepdog anymore, he’s a bearded collie. What was stopping the filmmakers from using a sheepdog!?

- The stupid little jade mermaid sculpture that Eric calls “my Little Mermaid". OK, so is the movie’s title supposed to be in reference to that now? Why include that as a thing at all?

- "Kiss The Girl", beyond being ruined by Daveed Diggs’ voice, has the pointless lyrical change to make sure Eric has Ariel’s consent before kissing her. As the new lyrics say: “Use your words to ask her”. Except...Eric doesn’t fucking do that! He leans in to kiss Ariel, with her also leaning in to kiss him, at the end just like in the original, without him having asked her beforehand if it’s OK! So a classic, perfectly good love song got altered for nothing!

- "The Scuttlebutt". The only good part about it was Ariel hating it as much as I did! 

- Instead of the animals all divebombing Vanessa at her and Eric’s wedding, with Max dealing the finishing blow that makes her lose the shell containing Ariel’s voice, we have Ariel being a girlboss and....engaging Vanessa in a cat fight over the shell, ending with Ariel grabbing it and breaking it herself. Because a cat fight between women is so much more progressive?

- The climax ends with Ariel and Eric swapping places, and Ariel killing Ursula with the ruined ship. This doesn’t work, since not only does Ariel not know how to steer a ship and she looks kind of ridiculous sliding around the deck on her fish tail, Ursula going after Eric specifically rather than Ariel makes no sense (Ariel just killed Flotsam and Jetsam, Ursula is pissed off at her above all else) and Eric not killing Ursula means Triton has no impetus for learning that he was wrong about humans. Maybe this wouldn’t be a problem if Triton stayed dead in this version (since, y’know, he actually died), but alas he gets resurrected once Ursula is killed and loses the trident. And sure enough, he’s learned nothing, which leads us directly into...

- The Ending. Ariel just accepts living under the sea from now on and becomes severely depressed about it, which somehow makes Triton change his mind and turn her human (she was depressed after he destroyed her grotto and he clearly didn’t give a fuck; what’s the difference now?) Eric had also accepted he and Ariel weren’t meant to be after all, but once she shows up as a human again he instantly reverse on that. Queen Selina sadly remarked that the human world and mer-world just weren’t meant to exist together...but then Ariel is made human again and gets together with Eric, and then she says the exact opposite and endorses the two worlds existing together! Everyone is just changing their mind at the drop of a hat; it’s ridiculous! And rather than ending on a wedding with a beautiful choir version of “Part of Your World” being sung, the movie abruptly ends with Eric and Ariel sailing off in a boat toward a ship that they will use to explore other kingdoms and further connect the two worlds together in the process while the generic instrumental “Part of Your World” plays. There’s just....no real heart to it. Which sums up this movie’s problem: like the vast majority of these live-action remakes, it was not made with the same heart as the animated original. The best that can be said about it is that it’s not the worst of the remakes, and that it provides a great stepping stone for Halle Bailey’s professional acting career. Beyond that, it’s useless.

[rollforjackass]

WHOOOOOO MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!! dead reckoning spoilers under the cut

what mission impossible does in terms of fucking with my PTSD, it makes up for with hot women. amen

VERY funny chase sequences, 2 new characters who pulled their weight in gold from the second they stepped onscreen. the airport scene was immaculate, from luther & benji trying to solve shit on their own and roping ethan in in the most cryptic way possible (the bomb scene with benji broke my fucking heart) to the constant sleight of hand that reminded me of the first movie. kittridge and the white widow's semi-familial relationship was very unexpected and sweet

also, AI AS A VILLAIN!!!!!!! bitch i did not have my brain chemistry rewired by person of interest and a warforged dnd character i made just to not enjoy that. benji's voice being used to misdirect ethan fucked me up in so many ways, and its insistence on stories was very fun because as we all know, there are many different stories out in the world, and many different versions of each one. i loved that pom fulfilled the AI's prophecy that she would betray gabriel NOT BECAUSE OF THE REASON IT THOUGHT, but because it betrayed HER over a possible course she hadn't even taken yet

i AM very worried about benji for the second part, they made a point of showing him on EVERY line of that epilogue that referenced death. "the closer someone is to you, the harder to keep them alive" > benji's face (watching ethan, which says as much about benji as it could foreshadow for ethan); "should your agents be captured or killed" > benji's face. it also showed his face on a line similar to "do it alone", which makes me TERRIFIED that he'll take on the entity in the sevastapol sphere by himself and have to make a grand heroic sacrifice in the process, at which point i'll fill my pockets with stones and toss myself bodily into the nearest lake

that said, dead reckoning might be my least favorite of the franchise, and not just because it was overblown and grandiose and a two-parter. it feels like they saw the john wick movies and went 'That's what the people want', when the reason people love mission impossible in the first place is because of its rock solid ensemble cast and the elaborate deceptions that make it a Spy franchise, not just an Action one.

now the big issue. ilsa my love. i don't think ilsa is actually dead - she simply would Not lose to gabriel, she has been fighting to stay alive every second of her life - but i do think her sacrifice was necessary to get grace on their side. so i think that's a plan that we'll see pay out in the second movie.

but if it's Not a plan and they just killed her like that........girl what the fuck is happening on this day

(also the way that benji reacted to her death, and the way he hid it from the team and slapped the tears away to get back to work, thanks i hate it)

like i won't be generous with the franchise and say it's always done its female characters right - in fact i feel like 90% of the praise i see for characters like jane carter and ilsa faust comes from the fact that we as a fandom scooped them up and said 'you deserve better' and created art and fics and meta that fleshed out the parts of them that weren't created to add sex appeal/romance tom cruise. but the franchise has at least done Better for them than dead reckoning did. they didn't even give pom's character a name, dude (EDIT YES THEY DID I’M A FOOL HER NAME IS PARIS)

i think their problem is that they are Very Very good at creating wonderfully complex and obviously flawed female characters, but when they don't know what to do with them anymore, they fall into a box that says Ethan's Love Interest. and by god i will wrest grace from that box so long as i am breathing i can tell you that

that said, i can see why they made the creative choices that come across to me as bad faith. pom being a nameless henchman but ethan Still goes out of his way to save her life hammers home the ways that humans are different from AI, and how unique ethan is as an agent. grace's name being a random throwaway alias that she is then trapped with bc she keeps being chased by the people she used it with is reminiscent of her stealing the key and then being trapped in an epic struggle she never wanted. even ilsa dying is a way for her to take her story into her own hands: after so long of being treated as dispensable by MI-6 and the syndicate, she is the one who decides when and who she dies for, and why she dies. (even though she's not dead)

anyway, complaints aside, always a fun movie. extremely funny car chase. women are hot. pom klementieff is feral and i adore her. i have thoughts for days and that mission impossible fic i've got going is about to take OFF

[lisxdumbr]

anyway. spider-verse thoughts

i love pavitr and i wish he got more screen time he was so silly. beloved character. dear to me. i love his entire rant abt chai. that was so good. and hobie!!!!!! silliest dude. love the anarchist brit. i love how he like kind of does fuck-all in almost every scene he is in yet simultaneously is the most chaotic dude in the room. respect. he is also very dear to me and i look forward to seeing more of his dimension in the next movie <3 gwen is so tgirl btw. like her entire dimension is mostly blue-pink-white and purples???? and in the entire conversation with her dad it's all blue-pink-white in the background??? and her entire "the people i love can only know half of me!" like ?!?!??! ? AND WHEN HE ACCEPTS HER THE ENTIRE SCENE TURNS ONLY WHITE AND PINK?????? i love her dearly. gwen deserves the world btw. miles was !!! ough i love seeing his growth. going from being all cocky and confident to terrified of what's going to happen like. he's still a child even if he has to act as a grown up !!!! ough. spot being the most cringefail wet pathetic villain and then going to actually being terrifying was one of the best villains yet btw like. he goes from the most wet and pathetic guy to actually downright terrifying and i love that for him. #growth.

ALSO MIGUEL. Miguel's motif reminds me a lot of Prowler's? like it lacks that sharp synth-y sound that Prowler has in his theme but the underlying sense of unease and danger is so similar. i think miguel is going to be a villain in the next movie tbh. he seems kind of... i dunno. like he's holding on too tightly and believes the only right way is his way?

anyway. loved seeing gwen assemble everyone in the end :) peter and mayday!!!! noir and peni !!!!!!! spiderham !!!!!! hobie and pavitr and spider-byte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's going to be so fun in the next movie i think. and god i look forward to seeing noir and peni again i ADORE them

You're so real for everything here

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE HOBIE. I DON'T KNOW IF I SAID LOVE ENOUGH TIMES ACTUALLY BUT I LOVE HIM IN CASE IT WASN'T CLEAR.

The world. he's so. thehrjwhdhwgGACSVTSBRLORBRVGEAOFMFYNDIIHRVW vany you know I've been a goth punk for the longest time right. right. rightright you don't know how fucking extremely happy I was that there was ACTUAL good punk representation in my screen, since in the past few years it has been extremely hard for me to find a punk community in my city and I've been having to rely on my mother's friends from the alt street market,,, (though I've spotted some in art school ever since I started I think). Hobie makes me very happy, he's so fucking well constructed, he has references to the 70s movement and to the okupa movement (← that's how we call it in spanish srry if it's not the same in English) I love that he actually lives for the original concept y'know.

ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN HIS DESIGN. I AMJWBDJENSNQKNAKJEB I'm obsessed OBSESSED. he took out that mask and my heart dropped 50 floors and reached the underground. I love him and his style, perhaps I'm a bit too obsessed (I had a dream with him.. aheem) I need him and his pretty boots to kick me mmmhehhdjf sorryaboutthaticantevenactnormal

ANYWAY GWEN. I love her she's my most specialest girl ever. T Gwen is so real I can't believe there are people denying it???? The color palette and the way she talks about herself. There's a fucking TRANS FLAG IN HER ROOM and people are like "um she can have that flag because she's an ally not because she is trans" and I'm like. Amount of cis people I've met with trans flags in their room = 0. There are people saying that it's because Peter was the trans guy which I mean yeah, would make sense, but why not both. both is good.

Anyway Gwen's world is def my favorite, I love the aquarelle texture and how it's the world in which the color affects the environment the most. My favorite scene is the one where she confronts her dad, the way you can see her hair turning pink and blue and how at the end all the colors become warmer and GHHHFRFHR I love her so much.

Anyway I have a lot of thoughts I'm going to scream and cry. I kinda want a spiderverse theme but there are so many good images, I don't know what to use

[nightcoremoon]

modern christianity’s ideals of heaven are insanely depressing.

okay so only 0.1% of the world’s population is going to make it into a big white room empty of free will and fun for literally all of eternity

…and you WANT this? bro that’s fucking boring as shit.

if god is a pedantic asshole who will only allow people into his special club if they follow an absurdly strict set of arbitrary rules, I will gladly poledance into hell and ride satan’s dick like I’m lil nas x. but less talented. and white.

I mean… you only want the white people or the brown people who act white, you only want the straight people or the gay people who act straight, you only want the neurotypical people or the ones who can mask it, you only want the able bodied people or the ones who are rich and privileged enough to prevent that from being a problem, you only want the dfabs to be subservient and sexless but also be baby factories always on hand to physically please the dmabs, and you want all of the jews (and muslims and everyone else) to die in a fire… buddy. I think that your version of god is a literal actual fascist. and you worship that motherfucker? go fuck yourself.

my god loves everyone equally. my god would try his damnedest to make sure every single one of his precious beloved children comes home to him. my god wouldn’t just stand idly by and watch 90% of his babies that he handstitched in the womb perish in eternal hellfire just because of circumstances in the world putting them in unfortunate positions of being denied salvation for whatever reason. oh, young child, you were beaten and abused by your religious parents for a 18 years and thus were psychologically traumatized and terrified of ever becoming anything like those monsters and rejected jesus, then got hit by a car? FUCK YOU, BURN IN HELL YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT, SUFFER FOR YOUR BAD LUCK. oh, veteran soldier, you were lied to by the US government propaganda machine and your body was used to oil the gears of war and you were sent home a broken traumatized mess, given no recompense, left to be homeless and disabled and alone on the streets, and ultimately shove a gun in your mouth and pulled the trigger? FUCK YOU, BURN IN HELL YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT, SUFFER FOR YOUR BAD LUCK. and so on. that isn’t god. if you think that’s god, you perform the sin of idolatry, and purgatory is your destination if not hell. the true hell. an eternity free of pleasure or pain, a life forever of being a lobotomized worker bee, existence for time immemorial of dead-eyed slavery with shackles upon your mind until your consciousness shrivels into nothingness, unable to make a single choice for yourself. no art, no love, no life. either that or an exact copy of this world, with you in a dead end 9-5 job serving a trillion copies of the exact same personality, an army of barbie dolls, eating away at your sanity until it eventually just fucking devolves into don hertzveldt meets salvador dali nothingness defying reality itself. FOR FUCKING EVER. you wanna sit in a movie theater watching veggie tales reruns over and over and over again until the last few vestiges of what makes you human shrivel, disappearing like a grain of sand in an endless dune, a drop of water in an endless ocean, fading away like the memories you have today right now from your infancy. oh, you don’t even remember 10% of your childhood? if you lived an extra hundred years you wouldn’t remember 10% of age 1-60. and extra thousand you wouldn’t remember 1% of your entire lifetime. everything that makes you YOU is destined to be erased by the passage of time under this absurd ruleset. your idea of heaven is a worse torture than any hell that man can devise or even conceive.

if your god relishes in delight at mass omnicide, then your god is a piece of shit and you should be doing everything in your power to reject him. getting down on your knees and licking his boots and begging him not to include you in the murder makes you more of a sniveling and pathetic worm than even the slimiest and scuzziest of hell’s more spineless and disgusting demons. satan’s rebellion was therefore morally and ethically correct.

and besides. claiming that any human is going to hell for any reason spits directly in the face of jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. forgive them father, they know now what they do. I believe that is what he said. did god seriously look at the entire state of the world in 30 AD and say, you know what, every single human who has ever lived is fucked, every single human who is alive now and literally cannot know christ in enough time because it takes time for word to travel, every single human on continents that the roman empire isn’t even AWARE OF (or vice versa) is just straight fucked? fucked fucked fucked, all humanity is predestined for hell in a handbasket. that’s bullshit.

god is a being of love and you have perverted him into a twisted and warped inhuman ungodly disgusting THING unworthy of praise or even attention. your god is dead and you killed him with your own 2 bloodstained hands.

christians dni

[breserker]

oh my god SO, i watched so many horror movies this weekend for halloween,

TL:DR: Terrifier 1&2, Messiah of Evil, and The Gate were the standout stars

Friday turned into a MST3K marathon of which Werewolf was the fucking best out of all of them. The day for night. The bad fight scenes. The changing hairstyles. "I like saying no to you, ask me out again". The were-crow. Excellent.

I put on Terrifier because I had heard a lot about Terrifier 2 in theaters, and guess what? it was fucking Fantastic. The characters all felt like regular humans who had more of a penchant to be nice to others first instead of fucking assholes -- the gore was mean but fun, Art the Clown is seriously my favorite slasher since Freddy Krueger and that is saying So much. So since Terrifier 2 wasn't showing around me, I made plans to watch it when it came to streaming on Halloween, and it ruled too. It knew where to draw the lines but was still delightful in its identity, i love the cereal full of glass and razor blades so much, the gleeful violent clownery, and how Sienna is my favorite final girl since Nancy.

I won't really list all the movies I watched, only the ones I remember. Prom Night 2 was pretty fun. Schizoid was more of a thriller. Deranged was interesting if only to see how much, by 1974, the narrative of Ed Gein had already been corrupted by stuff like Hitchcock's Psycho.

But I had to look up those movies to remember what I watched. The real stars were:

Dead and Buried (1981) - great undead small town mystery story with startling murders and excellent buildup

Messiah of Evil (1973) - Some of these visuals will never leave my head. Another small town horror with blood moons, old rituals and possessions, and just--the image of a town of people sprinting towards you, otherwise totally silent but hellbent on hunting you down, terrifying.

The Gate (1987) - Had been on my list for a long time and didn't disappoint. Perfect gateway (haha) horror movie for kids, lovely relationships and characters, excellently done all around

[creacherkeeper]

happy sleepover saturday!! who's your fav character in arthurian legend? what's your favorite movie that makes no goddamn sense?

oh this one is Targeted

okay so first my fave and then my fave obscure/underappreciated character

fave is of course my boy gawain. i want to put him in a jar and shake him up until he cries. like. my man is so interesting. all the people close to him agree that he's super noble and kind and goodhearted and just. but also he has a sense of humor!! and even more interesting than that is he's willing to throw himself under the bus for the betterment of others

in sir gawain and the green knight, when the green knight comes to challenge someone in a duel to the death, gawain makes a big show about how he's Clearly the most suited one there and how it would be silly to challenge anyone else and no one could really take on the green knight except for him. he makes himself look like a completely pompous asshole. but also that spares literally everyone else from having to rise to the challenge of facing a very terrifying and clearly magical foe. everyone gets off scott free by saying "ugh big headed gawain showing off again, lets all watch him get his ass kicked" while they can secretly be relieved none of them had to step in, or WORSE say no to the challenge and make king arthur and his court look weak. by making himself look like a dick (something everyone there knows he isnt) he lets everyone save face while also protecting them from almost certain death and he does it SO well that the green knight is none the wiser. like. big brain moves only from my boy gawain

in a COMPLETELY different tone he's such a fucking horse girl and in one of the stories (i cant remember which one. yvain maybe???) gringolet his horse gets stolen and the man just like lies on the ground crying about it. he loves his horse so much!!!! and its so funny!!!! he's so strong and brave and his horse gets stolen and its full toddler hours from noble knight gawain. the other knights are like my man you gotta pull yourself together and gawain is like *snot and tears* MY BEST FRIEND GRINGOLET

now my favorite obscure/underappreciated character from the arthurian canon is moriaen. i dont blame people for not knowing him because his story is very rare and hard to find but more people should!! he's the only knight of the round table who's canonically black and he's really fascinating

its very clear in the text that, while there's some stuff thats obviously MMMM,,, today, it was the author at the times attempt to be really progressive and accepting. moriaen has very dark skin and a lot of the characters in the story have never met a black man before and are originally very scared of him. however in his story moriaen comes to be known as the MOST christian and noble of all the knights of the round table (in a time where christian = good and moral) and the people who were originally afraid of him are so impressed by his good heartedness, morality, and strength, that they come to value and praise him. also his father, who is a white knight of the round table, actually ends up going back to [unspecified country in northern africa] to pursue justice for his mother's kingdom. like its very elementary social justice kind of stuff today but for the medieval period this was RADICAL and its really really cool to me

on the topic, for the movie question, everyone should watch king arthur legend of the sword (2017) because like. is it good. no. does the story make any sense. no. is it historically accurate or faithful to the canon. god not even a little. does it fuck severely for no goddamn reason and go so fucking hard at every opportunity? GOD. YES. its genuinely a piece of ART and i mean that in the most derogatory and highly affectionate way possible. it makes no goddamn sense but its SUCH a good time everyone should watch it