#god i coild talk about them

[pup-pee]

AAAKAJSJNS A DADBARRYYY DODGLASH FOMGMGMGMFKSO GET UR HAIR TUSSLED FREAK

kf = kid freak hes a freak but more importantly hes a kid & THATS HIS FATHER FIGURE RIGHT THERE

a gift for @icyfox17 done on a whim tbh beheee im actualy rly.happy with how it came out :3

[cutscarsandbrokenhearts]

oK so once I was with my ex this was like a year ago, and we were together for about a few months or so but it was those relationships where it all feels like everything is perfect and you love each other so much and everything is just more than you dreamed! IN SAYING THAT! I quit my job one day and was on my way to another job that has been wanting me for months. (I was a manager/waitress) I called my boyfriend at the time to tell him what happened and it was around 5pm and he finishes work at 3, goes home and chills and at 7 he goes gym, but he didn’t answer so I assumed that he either fell asleep or maybe went to gym early. I didn’t bother texting him thinking he will call me back later or that after I go see this job I will see him. So I continued driving, parked my car when I got there and I spoke to the owners and they wanted me to start right away considering it was a Friday and they were understaffed. So I said okay also being said I was told I could leave at around 9 so I didn’t complain. So I was told I had to stay outside and bring some customers in, by holding menus and showing them to customers as they walked by. I was outside for a good hour just standing there and talking to some people who walked past. AND I SWEAR AS I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE FROM THE CORNER OF MY EYE I SAW MY BOYFRIEND (at the time) AND THIS GIRL RUN ACROSS THE ROAD! HOLD HANDS AND CONTINUED WALKING IN MY DIRECTION! I swear my heart starting beating I was literally about to faint but at the same time I was so fucking angry I was literally ready to smash both of there fucking faces in but something in my heart told me to just stand there and wait. And so I did. And I kid you not they stopped right in front of me. This girl was still holding his hand, looking at me smiling and he was looking at me red in the face trying to avoid eye contact. And I didn’t know what the fuck to say. And OUT OF ALL THINGS THAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH WAS

“Table for two” and she just looked at me in the most friendliest way and she goes

“Can I see the menu” I fucking handed it to her SO POLITELY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR BUT BURNING WITH RAGE!

I couldn’t help myself I just wanted to know what was going on so I asked

“You guys together?”

And she’s like “yeah we are” smiling at him and grabs his hand and he’s trying to push away and she’s just still holding it and smiling

“How long you been together?”

“3 months” I swear to god, the devil in me was ready to fucking throw hands and start burning human flesh but I still shut my fucking mouth and spoke so nicely

“You guys make a cute couple” I said

“Oh thanks! Do you have a boyfriend?” Deadass I looked him right in his face and I said

“No not anymore he’s a lying cheating scumbag and I hope he burns in hell” and she thought it was funny and she was full having a conversation with me about how men that cheat are pieces of shits and I’m just standing there thinking to myself this poor girl is so fucking nice and she doesn’t know anything and if I open my mouth I could destroy something that could either A) work out for her or B) DOESNT AND WE COILD TEAM UP AND SACRAFICE HIM. So I decided to shutup. In the end after the awkward but not that bad conversation between me and this mistress they ended up walking to another restaurant because my ex wanted to eat somewhere else. WHICH WAS FINE WITH ME!

After my shift, I copped about 70 missed calls and 30 messages from this scum bag wanting to see me and how sorry he was and blah blah blah. So my dumb ass decided to not reply and wait till 3 in the morning to answer his calls because I knew he had work at 5:30am to see him. And so I drove to his house, thinking of everything I could say. Picked him up and ONCE AGAIN THIS IS WHAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH

“How was your day!?” ACTING COMPLETELY NORMAL AND HE IS LOOKING AT ME LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU BUT IM JUST LOOKING DUMB AS FUCK.

We continued to small talk, acting as if nothing ever happened, and I got so lost in our conversation I realised we’ve been driving for 30 minutes and ended up in another area. I parked the car. And that’s when we decided to talk serious. He spoke all this shit about how sorry he was and that it was his cousin and then it was his friend and whatever. Mind you I haven’t even spoken yet. And then when I decided to talk. I don’t know who unleashed this person and where the fuck she came from but I looked at him dead in the face

“Do you still want to be with me or not”

He said “no”

And I SAID

“Well like the dog you are you can fucking get out of my car and walk home because if you think for a second that I am driving you home, you have rocks in your big head.”

And HE SAID

“Please don’t make me walk, I don’t have my wallet on me and my phones dead. And it’s like hours walk”

I said “GET OUT NOW!” And so he did.

1 year now they are getting married and so am I to someone who knows my worth and to SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME UNCONDIOTIONALLY SO LADIES IF YOU THINK THAT YOU LOST SOMETHING MEANINGFUL IN YOUR LIFE BE FUCKING PAITENT BECAUSE SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG AND IF THE GIRL HE CHEATS ON YOU WITH ENDS UP BEING THERE FATE REMWBER THAT SHES EATING YOUR FUCKING CRUMBS

[illbethereoneday]

Yesterday I was reading this article on CNN about this girl named Noor who was born in Syria with her spinal cord only partially formed. Her grandmother bravely asked American troops passing through their village to take her to America and heal her. The soldiers to her surprise agreed, and she was taken to a children's hospital in Atlanta. There they placed a shunt to stop buildup of fluid in her brain and did other procedures. The doctor told her dad that she could be anything, a teacher or lawyer (but sadly she would always be wheelchair bound since she didn't have an entire spine). Anyways then the dad took them back to Syria and the civil war erupted. Now she's a young teenager and she's deteriorated a lot because of a lack of proper care in Syria, as most doctors have either fled or been killed in the war. Her father desperately seeks for a way for her to get more care and an american charity in Uganda pays for her to come and get the treatment necessary. But nonetheless after that they have to go back to Syria and the war, as they were not accepted into the U.S.A. It made me so sad because looking at the pictures and the dialogues the reporter included, you coild tell that her father loved her so much. That he would do anything for her. And you could tell how much Noor had suffered, how sad she was, and how little opportunity she has in Syria. I'm still thinking of her and wishing I had the money or the influence or the power to bring her here and make her happy and her dad and her family happy. She could be in a wheelchair basketball team, and go to university, or have a boyfriend and be safe. I feel frustrated because even the first Americans were people fleeing persecution on the Mayflower, but now suddenly other people trying to do the same thing aren't allowed to come anymore. It doesn't make sense. We have the land, we could make the jobs, as human beings we are supposed to love and care for people when their world crashes down around them. They need our love right now, but so many refuse to seek and practice empathy. Then I was talking to this other girl where her sister has Down syndrome and suddenly after getting off a benzo is in extreme psychiatric distress, refusing food and water, suicidal, aggressive, violent towards herself and her family. And she told me all their family and friends abandoned them, and that the Down syndrome community abandoned them too. It made me so sad and I felt so helpless that I couldn't come in and make everything better. And I was sad that she suffered so much, it made me so angry at God. How could he not provide relief already? How could he let their nightmare last for so long? How could he let that family's anguish drag on and on. What purpose is good enough, what in the world excuses that? And why do so many people shut their eyes to it? Not my life not my problem, I don't think about it cause it's not my family or me, it's their own fault, they must have done something wrong, it's gods will, it's a blessing from God, sometimes these things happen and you'll just have to wait for heaven or paradise for a solution and endure, like wtf?! It's not okay and it's not acceptable. And I sometimes feel even if it's wrong spiritually or religiously like yelling at God that he permits too much suffering. And yelling at the world for being so selfish and not doing enough for others. Life isn't just about what you want or what feels good to you or what good experiences you want to have. Ivfeel so angry cause I feel like everyone around me just cares about that. Even though my lyme is steadily improving and my family has hope for my sister after having no hope for a long time, I hear stuff like this and remember what it's like to just need a lifeline, any lifeline to make things better. Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you work, how hard you pray, you need a lifeline, luck, an act of God, whatever you want to call it, to drag yourself out of hell. And I am sad that no one is throwing them a lifeline right now, and I wonder how to become a lifeline for others what do I do? But it does make me determined, I feel like there has to be a way, you don't have to give in to hell and badness, no longer how long it isn't bad or how much suffering has occurred an act of salvation can always still happen.