#god i am just so obsessed with this i can't

[dawngyu]

I’m late, I’m sorry, Serene… but I promised I’d be here for any CC, and here I am! First of all, I absolutely loved the playlist. And the title… :(((

Beomgyu catches your inner struggle, the already present smirk on his lips stretching wider. “So why are you?” He lets his head fall to the side, the question echoing down the vacant hallway. You knew why, yet you had hoped he wouldn’t ask. But of course, Beomgyu saw right through you, and he’d always known exactly where to push in order for you to finally crack.

The way you write him is doing things to me… SO INSANELY ATTRACTIVE. GOD, your writing.

The following paragraphs just highlight how deeply Beomgyu understands her—or, well, knew her. (She’s in denial, but still. I love her. I am her. Thank you.)

I still remember how haunted I felt when I first read this last tape—the note, the doubt, the endless question of what could’ve made her run. I kept imagining all the possibilities since it hadn’t been revealed yet why Beomgyu let her go. (The angst. Omg.)

His grip tightens before it eases, and with a quiet hum his knuckles caress your cheek, the action makes you shudder. “I am many things, dollface”, he murmurs as he lets you go, his hand slipping back through the small window as he takes a step back, the darkness of his cell immediately consuming half his face. — “But I am not that.”

No matter how many times I read this, it still hits just as hard. (This will always get to me, I fear.)

Soobin’s scene was absolutely adorable—he feels so much like home here. Another green flag man and I’m really excited to see where you take his character, or honestly, any of the characters you have!

OH, AND YES—how could I forget the moment she saw Beomgyu with another woman… She’s stronger than me, for real. And for the nth time, I absolutely love her inner monologues. Obsessed.

“If I was available right now?” He holds out the cigarette for you to take. Eyeing it with disdain for a moment, you decline by shaking your head, “I don’t smoke.” — Beomgyu cocks an eyebrow at you, “You’d be the first to decline.” He studies you for a moment, the corner of his lip twitching into a faint smirk. “But you’re the first of many things, dollface”, he says as he brings the cigarette to his lips.

OK, I forgive him (conveniently ignoring the glaring red flags, but honestly… your writing is so vivid, I can smell the smoke).

His urgent and almost feverish demeanor confused you. He could go weeks without as much as asking to see you, but when he did it was like he’d been starved of you for years. It didn’t make sense.

OH MY GOD, I WANNA CRY. You are truly the best at writing angsty smut—how am I getting sad while reading smut??

This was such a fun (and painfully heartbreaking) read. Now that we’ve completed all the existing tapes, I just know I’m going to die when you publish the next one.

Serene, wow. Can't wait for the next tape!! ><

𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 TAPE 04

𝓓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝓔𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 ⸝⸝ Moving rapidly through your career as one of the leading female investigators, you never once encountered a case you couldn't crack. Though you never expected for your past mistakes to come back and haunt you in the form of an ex lover, accused of murder. ⸝⸝

𝓹airings criminal!beomgyu x detective!reader 𝔀arnings drinking, kissing, vaginal fingering, public sex, creampie, biting? (lol how tf do I tag that), tiny bit of hair pulling (beomgyu receiving), smoking, references to blood but nothing detailed !

📼 THE TAPE RECORDINGS

𝓣𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝓢𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 contains dark themes portraying unhealthy and toxic relationships and substance abuse. reader discretion is advised ! — this story is partly told in flashbacks, beware of timestamps as past/present are mixed throughout the story.

#serene adds ✎.. SQUEE GUYS!! all of the tapes have officially been re-released! from here forward it will only be entirely new tapes !! I hope you guys are as excited as I am for this :3

[ ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။| TAPE 04 ] — I Don't Smoke — recording length; 6.1k + PLAYLIST

📼 — PRESENT TIME ; February 20th 2024

You could not sleep that night. No matter how hard you tossed and turned, you couldn’t pull the images of him from your mind. Your conversation rings in your head, replaying itself over and over until every last word was engraved in your heart. The warmth of his breath against your face hovers above you, a ghost-like memory, an almost lucid one. 

With a tired groan you roll over on your stomach, burying your face in the pillow as you prepare to go through the evening’s events once more. 

“Yet you’re here.” — “But you shouldn’t be.” 

No. You shouldn’t be here. Seeing detained suspects outside of office hours, with no surveillance, it was most prohibited. Your mere presence here could quite frankly cost you your job, the one you had worked so hard for. But this was different. This wasn’t about now, it was about then. You weren’t a detective tonight, and he wasn’t a suspect. You were you and he was him. Just like it had been ten months ago. 

Beomgyu catches your inner struggle, the already present smirk on his lips stretching wider. “So why are you?” He lets his head fall to the side, the question echoing down the vacant hallway. You knew why, yet you had hoped he wouldn’t ask. But of course, Beomgyu saw right through you, and he’d always known exactly where to push in order for you to finally crack. 

Patience was not something he lacked and so he waited patiently when you fiddled with the back of your earring, twiddled with the hem of your sleeve, glanced down the corridor and then back up. Without the files in your hand, without his hands chained in front of him, and without the large metal table parting you, he somehow felt closer. This was far more intimate than any of your previous encounters since his arrival yesterday night. And you hate it. 

“I need answers.” Your voice is thick, laced with a hint of worry, constantly aware of the dangers of your situation. You were gambling with both your heart and your position here. — Beomgyu huffs, the sound coming out as a quiet chuckle when he shakes his head. 

“I thought that was what our sessions were for, no? He quirks a brow, but you know better than to fall for it. He knew that it wasn’t why you had come. — You shake your head firmly, “It’s not the kind of answers I want.”

His lip twitches, his smirk not faltering one bit. 

“Something you can’t share with that colleague of yours?” 

You frown, hands balling into fists by your sides. “Something that doesn’t concern him”, you state as you press your lips into a thin line. Your heart is beating loudly against your chest, its persistent thump playing in your ears akin to a heavy drum; a constant reminder of the power he still holds over you, even as he sits inside a small cell. 

Beomgyu hums, his fingers trailing the outline of the small window. You find your gaze lingering by the metal rings adorning them as they glint in the soft light coming from behind him. “Well go on then”, he pauses, dark eyes flickering from the dust on his finger and over to yours as they narrow, “You’ve never been one to shy away from asking questions, dollface.” 

You swallow. 

For the past ten months you had wondered what it would be like to come face to face with him once more. What would you tell him? Part of you wanted to blatantly ignore him, to act as if he had never even existed in your life. That was a satisfactory thought, one you allowed yourself to imagine in order to feel better. 

You knew that you wouldn’t be able to refrain from indulging as soon as your eyes landed on him though. There were at least a thousand questions soaring through your mind, questions you had longed to ask for what felt like forever. — But as you stand before him, with your heart beating out of your chest and sweat pooling on your forehead, you suddenly find yourself at loss for words. 

“That night”, you slowly begin, drawing your speech out as you try your hardest to gauge his reaction. He isn’t interrupting you, instead he waits patiently as ever for you to finish. “You did not come after me.” His eyes narrow. — “Why didn’t you?” 

He remains silent. And for a moment you worry that he might not give you an answer at all, it wouldn’t be the first he did. His brow twitches, and for a moment he looks almost confused. But that quickly fades and is soon replaced by his ever stoic expression. “Did you want me to?” He returns your question with one of his own. 

Did you want him to? Back then you had feared that he would.. But when he hadn’t.. When you had been left all alone with your own thoughts, the ones that had been chained under his presence, you suddenly found yourself lost. — “It doesn’t matter if I wanted you to or not.” You fold your arms across your chest, “Why didn’t you?” 

He exhales, the smirk on his face falling as his features twist into something gloomy. “I read your note.” The following silence is deafening, despite his words coming out a mere breath. You feel your blood go cold. — The note. You remember the small and wrinkly piece of paper all too well, the blurry lines you had so quickly scribbled down, the ink ruined by your own tears. You didn’t think that he had actually read it. It had merely existed to dull the ache of your own wounds, never had you imagined him actually… 

Suddenly the memories all come crashing down on you in picture perfect quality, the memories you had longed to forget. The blood, the blood on his hands. There had been so much blood. The red crimson had mixed with the rain, heavy and hard as it poured over you. Goosebumps rise on your skin and you pull your gaze from his. 

It had been a bad idea to come here. You should have stayed away. 

The cold metal of his rings startle you when Beomgyu’s hand suddenly reaches for your chin. You hadn’t realized just how close you were standing to the door. Close enough for his hand to reach through the small window, for his fingers to lock your head in place as they grasped your jaw. 

“Leaving so soon, dollface? — I thought you wanted answers.” His voice is low as he studies your frightened expression with a taunting one. Your wide eyes dart down the hallway before returning back to him. “Let me go”, you seethe as you try to shrug him off. 

His grip tightens before it eases, and with a quiet hum his knuckles caress your cheek, the action makes you shudder. “I am many things, dollface”, he murmurs as he lets you go, his hand slipping back through the small window as he takes a step back, the darkness of his cell immediately consuming half his face. — “But I am not that.” 

Then he turns away from you, and you can just about make out his figure in the dark as he heads for the small bed provided. He sits down on it, his elbows on his knees as he turns the rings on his fingers. — Everything is quiet, even the beating of your own heart has dulled into faint background noise. 

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you had been holding in. You knew that you weren’t going to get another word out of him, and with a defeated sigh you reached for the hatch on the window. But as your fingers grasp the small lock, he suddenly speaks up. — “You haven’t told them what you saw.” The statement sends a chill down your spine, because you knew exactly what he was referring to. You knew all too well. 

Beomgyu lifts his head, the dark strands of his long hair falling from his face. He turns your way, his dark eyes finding yours in an instant. “If you did, I wouldn’t be here right now.” The truth is harsh and bitter, it makes you feel guilty, ashamed even. But Beomgyu smirks, a small chuckle passing his lips. “Perhaps I was wrong about you, dollface.” 

His gaze zeroes on your hand, hesitating by the window hatch. — “Just how deep does your loyalty still run?” 

⸝⸝

📼 — April 29th 2022

“Oh please”, Kayla pleads, her voice sounds near desperate on the other line. You push your phone to your ear, balancing it on your shoulder as you continue to wipe down the table you had just cleared. “I don’t know, there’s just so much coursework and then I’m working again tomorrow afternoon.” 

You tried to swiftly avoid a blunt ‘no’ as you worked around your answer. Kayla had been pestering you to go out with her for days since it ‘had been so long’ since last. You knew better, it was just another excuse since she and her so-called ‘boyfriend’ were on yet another break and your friend longed to rebound with the first suitable candidate. 

Though you would admit that you had been neglecting your duties as her friend. From the dismissed texts to the unreturned calls. Suppose you felt guilty for going behind her back like this, you knew that Beomgyu was the last person she’d want to see you acquainted with, and you were doing just that. So you had distanced yourself. 

The right thing would be to go out with her, but tonight… It wasn’t like your excuses weren’t valid. You were busy, still, a small part of you wanted to keep your calendar clear, just in case Beomgyu would text. It was pathetic really, seeing as you hadn’t heard from him in nearly two weeks. — You bit your lip as you thought about what could possibly be keeping him from you. Work? You had no clue of what he did for a living for Beomgyu was very vague about his private life. He didn’t tell you much, then again, you never asked. 

“Fine”, you groan as you set the cloth aside to move over to the next table. Kayla squeals on the phone as she promises that the two of you are going to have a blast. Though your amusement didn’t quite reach her levels, you still agreed as you settled on details. — When the call ends you shove your phone back into your pocket to resume working. 

You’re about halfway done clearing the table, with plates stacked on both your arms as you maneuver around the chairs, when a voice from behind startles you. “Here, let me help you with these”, Soobin says as he takes a handful of plates from you. — “O-Oh! Thank you.” You give him a sheepish smile as you allow him to walk you back toward the kitchen doors. 

Soobin’s parents ran the restaurant you were working at, and despite him being a couple years your senior, the two of you got along well as he often stopped by to help his mom and dad out. — “How have you been?” He asks when holding the door open for you. Giving him a thankful nod, you shrug, “Tired, overworked and exhausted? – I’m just glad this semester is coming to an end in a month or so.” 

Soobin nods as he follows you over to the countertop, setting the plates down on it. “Fairs, you work hard.” He grins, “But it’s paying off well! Just imagine when you get your degree.” You hum as you pick up a plate and run it under the faucet, “You’re right.” One thing about Soobin was that he always seemed to get your mind off of things, whether it be school or work, or even Beomgyu.. His abilities to see things on the bright side seemed to lighten your own mood tenfold. 

He leans against the countertop, his arms folded across his chest as he watches you clean the dirty plates. “Got any plans for summer?” He asks and you purse your lips as you pick up a sponge and drench it in dish soap. “Dunno… I’ll probably pick up a few extra shifts around here, so don’t think you’ll see less of me.” You send him a small smile before your attention returns to the dishes in front of you. 

Soobin chuckles as he runs a hand through his dark hair. “I wouldn’t want it any other way”, he mumbles. “My parents love you”, he then adds, and you feel heat rushing to your cheeks at the sudden compliment. “I’m sure they’re more than thrilled to have you here all summer.. Just don’t forget to take some time for yourself as well”, he then adds. 

You raise a brow as you shoot him a side glance. “Are you trying to rid yourself of me?” you tease, expecting nothing more but a laugh in return. Soobin however, shakes his head. “Certainly not”, he says as he takes the now clean plate from your hands in order to dry it. — “On the contrary”, he clears his throat, “I was going to ask if you could somehow fit me somewhere in your hectic calendar.” 

Your hand misses the glass you were aiming for and instead your fingers fumble against the bubbles that had formed due to the soap as you blink up at him. Sure you and Soobin spent a great deal of time together, and you considered him a good friend, but that was all thanks to your job at his parent’s restaurant. You never saw each other outside, yet here he was openly asking for such a fact to change? 

He’s quick to note your hesitation and hurriedly adds, “Only if you’re up for it of course!” He clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “Me and a couple of friends are renting this place not far from the city, I would love for you to join us..” — You watch as he fiddles with the cloth in his hands, anxiously awaiting his response. 

You hadn’t thought of Soobin much that way, but as you regard the soft tint to his cheeks, the way his gaze flickers between the floor and you nervously, you can’t help but find him cute. “I would like that a lot”, you send him an equally shy smile and Soobin’s face immediately lights up. 

He looks like he’s about to say something else but before he gets the chance to, a hoarse voice breaks the silence. “Young man!” You immediately recognize it as none other than your own boss. Soobin cowers behind you as the elderly lady approaches the two of you with rapid steps. Though his attempts at seeking refuge prove futile as she grabs ahold of his ear, yanking down on it hard. 

“What do you think you’re doing? Waltzing in here and distracting my best employee from her duties!” Her harsh tone makes your eyes widen and you almost drop the plate still in your grasp. Soobin winces as he puts his hands up in surrender, “Mom, please! We were just..” — “Just what?” She retorts as she gives his ear another pull. 

Baffled, you bite back a smile, “It’s no trouble Mrs Choi. He’s been helping me out with the dishes.” Your attempt at soothing her fragile nerves seemed successful as the old woman let go of her son and straightened her back, even then, she just barely reached your chest. 

“Hmpf, as long as he makes use of himself I suppose..” She mutters as she sends Soobin a glare, one he returns with a frown as he cradles his ear. — “But I don’t even work her-” He cuts himself short with a small cough when his mom raises a threatening fist his way, “Alright! Alright!” 

Mrs Choi turns her attention to you as she flattens out the apron over her legs. “Very well. Are you staying for dinner, dear?” She asks, her once bitter expression replaced with a warm one. You quickly nod before politely accepting her offer, “I would be delighted to.” 

Your throat burns as you down your third shot of the night. Upon setting the empty glass down, you lean against the bar top as your eyes wander across the crowded dance floor. People were pushed up against one another, their bodies moving uncoordinatedly yet somehow beautifully. — “You wanna dance?” Kayla asks as she sets her own empty shot glass down. 

True to her word, she had stuck by you the entire night, the main reason being the fact that she had yet to scour out a worthy candidate to accompany her home. Still, you couldn’t deny the sense of comfort her chaotic presence brought your tense nerves. “Sure”, you grin as you allow her to take your hand in hers.

The floor moves in rhythm with the beat, your knees feel wobbly but you manage to remain standing through it all. Even as Kayla twirls you in her arms, just barely catching you again as she giggles. Some songs are familiar, others aren't, that didn’t matter much. You found yourself having a lot more fun than you had originally anticipated. And as the night went on the guilt you had been carrying seemed to lessen. 

Perhaps this had been just what you needed, an escape from your otherwise mundane reality. The one where you waited on someone to call, like a lost puppy astray without its owner. Only that someone hardly seemed to care for your longing touch. 

Beomgyu was always on your mind, so much so that sometimes you thought you saw him in other people. In class, at work, even on your way home, you thought you could catch a glimpse of him through the corner of your eye. But as you turned around, you found yourself disappointed yet again. 

So when you’d seen his dark shadow moving across the outskirts of the dancefloor you had brushed it off as another trick of your mind, nothing but the alcohol and your insatiable need for him speaking. But then as Kayla twirls you around once more and your gaze falls on his figure, leaning against the wall, you knew that this wasn’t another of your hallucinations. 

It was undeniably him. Dressed in all black, he nearly blended with the dark wall behind him. The moment is over before you can as much as blink and then you’re back in Kayla’s arms. But for that short second you could’ve sworn that your eyes had met. Your heart nearly stopped. — He quickly disappears from your line of sight as the crowd around you presses closer and you helplessly search from you, completely forgetting about Kayla who was watching you with a frown. 

Fate was cruel. It seemed to know exactly when you craved him the most. Then it would taunt you by flaunting him before your very eyes, close enough to just barely send your mind spiraling, but far enough to remain out of reach for your desperate hands. 

Then, your eyes fall on her. She looks no different from the women he’d been surrounded by that night, the night when you had first met. Her smile is deceiving, her nails sharp as they trail his chest. He leans closer, an arm snaking around her waist, dark hair tickling her face when goes to whisper something in her ear. You can’t hear her laugh but you can see it. And it fucking hurts. 

The rings on his fingers glint under the flashing lights as they brush against her naked thigh, inching closer to where her short skirt ends. He was… You turn your head away in disgust, swallowing the lump in your throat when your gaze meets Kayla’s. 

Your hand is sweaty as you grab hers, and before you know it you’re pulling her along as you push your way through the crowded dance floor. Her protests go over your head, and your grip only grows harsher when she tries to break free. It felt as though you were walking through quicksand. You were sinking faster than you were running. 

It’s not until the cold night air hits your scorching hot face that you finally let her go. The back door slams shut behind you, the sound echoing off the vacant alleway. “What’s gotten into you?” Kayla shrieks as she jerks her hand back, cradling her wrist to her chest with a deep frown on her face. — You don’t answer her as you allow your body to slump against the rough brick wall. 

You breathe in through your nose, letting the fresh air fill your lungs as you trap it there. When you exhale through parted lips you let your eyes flutter closed. “Just needed some air”, you murmur. 

Kayla huffs, sounding deflated as she, too, leans against the side of the building. “You okay?” She whispers, this time her voice is laced with concern. You can feel her gaze on you as she studies your absent expression. “Yes”, you nod. — She pauses, “Do you want to get out of here?” 

You shake your head. “No, I’ll be fine.” You’d be damned to let something as simple as this ruin your night out. Except, Beomgyu was anything but simple. The thought of leaving was tempting, but you told yourself that you had run away for the last time. This wouldn’t change anything. 

“Go on back inside, I’ll join you in a few.” Cracking an eye open, you give your find a reassuring smile. And though she seems far from convinced she nods. “Text me if you change your mind”, Kayla says as he places a quick kiss to your cheek. 

You wait until the door closes behind her before resting your head against the hard brick. Taking the quiet moment to glance around the desolate alley, you find nothing but overcrowded trash cans and empty beer bottles littering the streets. You were all alone, at last. — With a content exhale you close your eyes, basking in the comforting silence that had enveloped you. 

Perhaps it had been rather childish to make such a dramatic exit, but in that very moment, it had been your only escape. You hadn’t seen him like that since.. Since you first met. And after almost two weeks of not seeing one another once, he seemed to be doing just fine, acting as though the whole world laid at his feet. — All the while you struggled to even go a day without him, desperately waiting on a single text in his name. God, when did you allow yourself to stoop to such a level. 

Why was it so easy for him? It was all games and fun in his world. Why could you not share his carefree ways? Why did you have to be the only one suffering from a seemingly pleasure filled agreement? It was unfair. 

Was he not as addicted to you as you were to him? 

Fine. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered anymore. He was off doing god knows what with that chick and you were… here. No, not anymore. You inhale, preparing to put on the strongest of fronts and go back inside. — But before you’re able to let said breath go, the door next to you opens. 

You remain still, completely unmoving as you wait for whoever has come to pass again. They never do. And soon you feel another warm body join you as they, too, lean against the cold brick wall. Everything is quiet, everything is still, time is frozen. 

Carefully you listen as they shuffle about, likely rummaging through their pockets in search of something. Then a click, the one a lighter makes. The smell of thick black smoke hits you not long after and you nearly turn your nose up in disgust. — Next to you, the person exhales, a long and heavy breath. 

“Not even a hello?” 

Beomgyu’s relaxed voice sends a chill down your spine and your eyes snap open. You had known that it was him from the moment he’d stepped outside. Still, you had allowed yourself to blissfully ignore his presence until he decided to make it known. — You keep your eyes on the messy graffiti covering the brick wall opposite you. Following the scribbly lines, you draw in a short breath. “I didn’t think it would be appropriate to.” 

Through the corner of your eye you could see him bring a cigarette to his lips. The end lights up when he inhales slowly, his hand returning to his side once more. He exhales the thick smoke, almost as poisonous as himself. “No?” He hums and even though you refuse to turn his way you can still feel his piercing gaze on you. 

“No.” You firmly agree as you fold your arms across your chest. “You looked… Busy.” With the subtle clearing of your throat you avoid directly targeting the fact that he’d had both eyes and hands on another woman just moments prior. 

But your vague answers didn’t discourage him in the slightest as Beomgyu scoffs. “Does that matter to you?” He asks the question as if you were the one in the wrong, making you out to be a fool for thinking otherwise. You bite your lip, your arms pulling tighter around yourself as you keep your gaze set ahead. 

“Why wouldn’t it?” 

You were being truthful, as honest as you could be. It took everything in you to lay your insecurities bare, and even then you were unable to hide the jealous sting in your voice. The thought of that woman, of all the others.. It made your face twist into a scowl without you even registering it, making your chest contract and your stomach hurt. 

And while Beomgyu had made it clear that what you had was purely sexual, you couldn’t help but find yourself doubting his actions. Things just didn’t add up. He treated you so differently, yet like nothing at all. — Why did it bother you so much that he could so easily venture off with another woman whilst you struggled to even think of a man that wasn’t him. 

Beomgyu hums, the sound low and eerily calm as he takes another drag of his cigarette. “And if I wasn’t busy?” He asks as he twirls the cigarette between his fingers. His questions leaves you unprepared, catching you completely off guard and you purse your lips as your gaze drops to the pavement in front of you. 

Would you have approached him if he was by himself? Would you have asked him to dance, would you have let his hands wander in front of everyone? Perhaps you would’ve asked him to take you somewhere private, maybe you wouldn’t have had to ask at all. 

“I don’t know.” You finally state as you turn your head in his direction, getting your first proper look at him that night. His head is tilted down, causing his dark hair to shield his expression from your curious eyes. Though you could tell that his attention was fixed to the cigarette between his fingers. His lips were slightly parted, his tongue swiping across his bottom one absentmindedly. 

“It’s hard to know when you’re available..” You quietly add and Beomgyu’s eyes flicker toward you. Feeling yourself tense up under his gaze, you shift against the wall as you avoid making direct eye contact. 

“If I was available right now?” He holds out the cigarette for you to take. Eyeing it with disdain for a moment, you decline by shaking your head, “I don’t smoke.” — Beomgyu cocks an eyebrow at you, “You’d be the first to decline.” He studies you for a moment, the corner of his lip twitching into a faint smirk. “But you’re the first of many things, dollface”, he says as he brings the cigarette to his lips. 

You regard his relaxed posture with a frown. First of what? Sometimes it felt as though you and Beomgyu were playing an endless maze-like game, where every twist and turn led you into further confusion, forging new paths that didn’t make half as much sense as the previous one had. He, on the other hand, seemed to be holding all the cards, and you just aimlessly wandered. 

The brief conversation only served to frustrate you further and with a small sigh you push yourself off the wall as you make a move to go around him and back inside. But as your fingers brush the cool handle of the door, his hand suddenly wraps around your wrist, effectively freezing you in place. 

Confused, you try to pull away from his harsh grip. “Don’t you have someone waiting for you in there?” You retort, unable to hide the snappy tone you used. — Beomgyu drops the cigarette, crushing it under the sole of his shoe before shoving you back against the brick wall, easily pinning you against it. 

“No.” He simply states as his dark eyes rake over your stunned expression and down to your skimpily dressed figure. “Told you I was available right now, didn’t I?” He drawls, his hot breath mere inches from your already heated face. 

“But what if I’m not available?” You counter, only to watch the once faint smirk on his lips widen tenfold. “You wouldn’t have ran out here if you were.” Fuck, so he did see you. You’re certain that he can feel the warmth on your face when his thumb brushes over your cheek, threatening to ruin your neat makeup. 

“Fuck, do you always look this dolled up? Even when it’s not for me?” He murmurs, a small almost unnoticeable frown tugging on his brows. His gaze drops to your lips, coated in a shiny gloss. — His mouth is on yours before you can even think, much less form a coherent response. He wastes no time as his rough hands cup your face, pulling you impossibly close only to push his tongue inside your waiting mouth. 

You gasp against his lips, eyes wide as your hands frantically push at his chest. “Wait! Not here- What if someone sees?” 

Beomgyu chuckles, a low and raspy laugh that vibrates on your tongue. His hands leave your face, eagerly descending down your chest, brushing over your already hardened nipples, concealed only by the thin fabric of your dress. — You let out a startled yelp when the cold metal of his rings make contact with the back of your thighs as Beomgyu hikes your legs around his waist; his lips moving down your jaw as he presses hungry kisses to your skin. 

His urgent and almost feverish demeanor confused you. He could go weeks without as much as asking to see you, but when he did it was like he’d been starved of you for years. It didn’t make sense. However you find yourself both unable and unwilling to question his strange behaviour further when his hands suddenly push your already short dress up above your hips. 

“Beomgyu I’m serious!” You whine, yet you find yourself pulling him closer, your nails digging into his shoulders. No matter how hesitant the public display made you feel, you were unable to hold back from satiating the craving you’d been trying to feed for so long.

He scoffs when he sees you throw an anxious glance down the empty alley, your gaze lingering by the door he’d emerged from not long ago. “C’mon dollface, don’t go shy on me now”, he taunts against your neck before pulling your skin between his teeth, making you cry out. 

Fuck it. At least he was here with you and not the woman he’d been feeling up not even an hour prior. You were all that mattered to him. Right? That’s why he’d gone after you, only you. It’s what you tell yourself, it’s the only truth you’re willing to swallow, the only thing that would make you feel better about this. Knowing that you were special. 

Your eager hands move along his shoulders, past his neck and through his dark hair as you yank his face back up to yours, reconnecting your lips in a feverish kiss. You can feel his smirk, stretching wide across his lips when you push your tongue inside his mouth, not bothering to care for the taste of smoke that still lingered there. Pleasantly surprised by your demanding ministrations, Beomgyu lets you pull his bottom lip between your teeth, groaning when you bite down. 

His expression is smug when you pull back for air, his fingers slipping beneath your panties to drag across your throbbing cunt. — Your cunt that had craved him almost as much as your restless mind. 

“Why haven’t you texted me?” Your voice is unstable and threatens to betray you when he pushes two fingers inside of you, almost immediately curling them as he makes your back arch off the wall. Beomgyu’s lips return to your neck as he kisses his way to the shell of your ears. “Don’t be greedy, dollface”, he murmurs as he sucks your lobe into his mouth, rolling the silver of your earring against his tongue. “You already have so much.” 

But it wasn’t enough. 

You frown, wanting to object but quickly losing all your composure when the tip of his cock prods against your aching cunt. Your head hits the brick behind you as Beomgyu eases himself inside of you, a muffled groan passing his lips. — With an anxious gulp you glance toward the door, eyeing it nervously. 

Setting a quick and rough pace, Beomgyu’s fingers clasp around your face, digging into your cheeks as he shifts your attention back to him. “If they see, they see”, he grunts as his hips snap against yours. Meekly nodding, your hands fall back onto his shoulders as your moans fill the empty alleway. Even if no one saw you, they were bound to hear you. For some reason that thought thrilled you more than you ever imagined it would. 

The thought of everyone knowing what he was doing to you. That he was doing it to you and no one else. Only you. 

You knew that your attachment to him was becoming increasingly worrying. You should have probably distanced yourself a long time ago. Because you knew that this wasn’t just about the sex for you. Everything about Beomgyu drew you in. He was intoxicating, almost like a drug. That’s what made him so difficult to leave. Once you tried him, everything else seemed bland. Most of all, you could never seem to get enough of him, for he always left you craving more. 

And you would do anything to get him. 

Even now, as you smell the perfume of that woman all over him, you still crave him. All you can think about is him, all you can breathe is him and all you need is him. 

“Have you fucked her?” The question slips before you can stop it. Your nails claw at his shoulders, pulling a strained groan from him. You didn’t care if he had, not anymore. All that mattered was the fact that he was here with you right now. You desperately told yourself that his answer wouldn’t matter, that you could take it. 

“No.” 

Wait, he didn’t? Your jaw falls open, completely ignorant of the fact that his cock was still buried deep inside of you as your mind spiraled. A smug feeling bloomed within your chest, and it should have been a worrying one, but you could only relish in the fact that he had chosen you over her. He’d chosen you over all of them. You were special, right? 

When he finishes inside of you is when you’re certain that you are. You moan at the feeling of being filled to the brim with everything that was Beomgyu; letting him shove his fingers inside your sore cunt as he pushes his cum back inside, mixing it with your own orgasm before he brings his drenched fingers to your face. 

Your lips part as he smears the mess all over them, glancing up at him with a dazed and almost blissful expression. — “You really are a doll, aren’t you?” He murmurs as he watches your tongue dart out ti swipe across your wet lips, a small groan being pulled from his throat. 

If spending almost two weeks desperately longing for him was what it would take for something like this to happen, you would do it all over again, for as many times as you would have to. Because that’s what addiction was like. And oh how you were addicted to Choi Beomgyu.

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[crtakespropogandist]

CR 3 finale dump pt. 3 - Putting my finger on it

I enjoyed the campaign while I was watching it for the most part, because the cast's antics and chemistry always make me smile. But I invariably engaged the most during the tie-ins and cameos bringing back the PCs and NPCs from previous campaigns, and I couldn't summon the same investment for this one. I was ruminating on why that was, and here is what I came up with:

Campaign 3 didn't "work" like the other two because the characters, the plot, and the setting were not integrated. Matt had an epic storyline in mind that could dramatically change Exandria. He also had two lovingly designed settings, Marquet and Ruidus, the fruits of great collaborative labor that he wanted to show off. Finally, he wanted to let his friends have total control in conceptualizing their characters. The result is that the players and Matt seemed really afraid of stepping on each other's (and the other creatives') toes, and the narrative hurt for it.

Character hooks led away from the plot and setting. Setting hooks led away from the plot and characters. Plot hooks led away from the setting and characters. The cast ultimately had to follow the plot, leaving PCs uninvested and locations underutilized along with all their resident NPCs. Freaking Vox Machina had stronger relationships with Marquesian NPCs.

Yet Matt was still discouraged from taking time away from exploring new places and meeting new people for a deeper dive on Delilah Briarwood. Why didn't Ludinus give Tal'Dorei a heads up when the Briarwoods became fugitives? Did he help them in exchange for residuum? Did they steal his obsessive research on the Matron's ritual for Vecna to use? Maybe Jiana Hexum knows something abou...oop BH left Jrusar and forgot all about her. Matt was also discouraged from leaving shiny new Marquet any earlier for Aeor 2: Electric Boogaloo, which left FCG high and dry. The self-imposed balance between the three key story elements was impossible to maintain in a satisfactory way.

VM and M9 are native to their campaigns' respective continents (except my boy Tary ofc), and the plot evolved organically from personal stakes intrinsic to those settings. Moments like "I am no friend to the empire" and "It's Lady Vex'ahlia" are off the table when the party is Oops! All Transients. The worst irony is that Matt undermined the players' autonomy by unilaterally deciding that Caleb and Beau utterly fumbled the task Liam and Marisha set them to in their C2 epilogues. Liam's frustration at the Key scene was palpable. My fellow viewers who only hopped aboard on Campaign 3 can get weirdly defensive against C2's "encroachment" and C2 enjoyers (also fellows of mine) wishing it would "encroach" more. Ludinus was introduced in C2. The ruins of Aeor and Molaesmyr are in Wildmount. Dunamancy is centralized in Wildmount. The Nein spent time in Aeor, in Uthodurn, in the Dynasty. The Nein have gods. What experiments did Ludinus conduct in Vergessen? What are the specifics about what Ludinus did in Molaesmyr, what he's done throughout his life of scheming? It's pretty safe to guess that the Nein would have found out given another chance. Could you imagine how Campaign 2 might have panned out if Beau and Caleb reeeaaally grilled Demid Sunlash and followed up on where he went? (Also Ruidusborn!Essek would have made so much sense I'm vibrating) (Also also d'ya think Eadwulf was always supposed to be a real Matron follower, or could he have been set up as a Paragon's Call/Vanguard type reporting to Ludinus?)

The Mighty Nein are a party with a collective INT that blows BH out of the water. Even as someone introduced to the stream via BH, I can't help but agree with Beau's "Why not us?" comments. Why not give the Wildmount party the Wildmount BBEG? Why not give Bell's Hells the kind of story that encourages them to be little NPC-coded freaks pushing each other's big red buttons just to see what happens? Why not give Marquet a party that calls it home?

The answer is because we got this instead, and I'm kinda sad about it. If BH gets animated, that show is a lost cause if some fundamental changes aren't made.

[rednexxsaysthing]

Someone on reddit: guys what songs would be good in mouthwashing?

me: *deep breath*

Anya:

1. "Truth or Dare" - Ricky Montgomery The lyrics "Hiding in the closet//trying not to vomit//didn't even want it" always struck me as lyrics about SA 2. "TV" - Billie Eilish Idk, it just seems fitting for her 3. "Every Window in Alcatraz Has a View of San Francisco" - foxtails Once, again seems fitting. 4. "Mr. Rager" - Kid Cudi I saw some edits of her w/ this song 5. "Winner" - Conan Gray "The only thing you've proven is that there's no one, who ever has done better, at making me feel worse"

Curly:

1. "Trying" - Cavetown "I realize how hard on you this must seem, but trust me, when I say: it's far, far worse for me" Always makes me think about when Anya told Curly about Jimmy 2. "Gilded Lily" - Cults "Haven't I given enough?" I feel like Curly was always trying what he saw as his best, and no one really appreciated him that much for it (in his opinion) 3. "Body" - Mother Mother I feel like this one's pretty obvious if you've listened to it 4. "Motion Sickness" - Phoebe Bridgers "I hate you, for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid" You in these lyrics being Jimmy 5. "The Exit" - Conan Gray "Feels like, we've got matching wounds but, mine's still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine" Curly talking to Jimmy I feel like

Daisuke:

1. "Class of 2013 (Audiotree)" - Mitski This is that one audio people keep using for him where it goes "mom, I'm tired, can I sleep in your house tonight?" 2. "I Don't Smoke" - Mitski "So if you need to be mean, be mean to me, I can take it and put it inside of me" I feel like this would be how he handles everything Swansea says to him 3. "Little League" - Conan Gray Since he used to play baseball and also it has a more goofy/lighthearted tone 4. "Don't Say That" - Ricky Montgomery Just listen to it trust me 5. "Mama's Boy" - Dominic Fike I feel like the name itself is self explanatory

J*mmy Neutron:

1. "Just Take my Wallet" - Jack Stauber "Your mama's crying do-do-do-d-do-do//your mama's lyin, what's she tryna do?" and so much more of this song. Except it's like insead of "mama" it's Jimmy or Curly, ykwim? 2. "Not Strong Enough" - boygenius "Always an angel never a god" Always co-pilot, never "pilot" or some shit 3. "Remember My Name" - Mitski Idk, just reminds me of him 4. "End of Me" - Mother Mother "Or am I jsut a lot like, all the rest? A little egotistical, a little self obsessed?" Idk the song gives Jexual Jassaulter vibes (unfortunately) 5. "Crack Baby" - Mitski "Crack baby you don't know what you want, but you know that you're needing it" in reference to him wanting to pilot or sum

Swansea:

1. "Fine, Great" - Modern Baseball "I hate worrying about the future, cuz all my current problems are based around the past" and "I'm so tired, or maybe just bored, I can't really tell the difference whenever I'm talking to you" (you as in Daisuke lol) 2. "Real Men" - Mitski (I listen to a lot of mitski ok) It just gives off the kinda vibe he gives off or that he was raised with 3. "Coffee" - Jack Stauber This song highlights the struggles of addiction 4. "Lemon Boy" - Cavetown I feel like this really represents he and Daisuke's relationship 5. "Dear Winter" - AJR I feel like he'd sing this for his daughter(s) if he has any i cant remember if thats canon (im really fuckin tired forgive me)

For the game in general:

1. "Sippy Cup" - Melanie Martinez PLEASE PLEASE JUST TRUST ME ON THIS

[solaraurora]

just finished reading Wings Of Starlight & I want to SCREAM! it was so heartachingly beautiful! I am in pain!

I've been obsessed with Clarion & Milori ever since I watched Secret Of The Wings so I was happy when I heard there was gonna be a book about them & the story of their relationship, as well as the relationship between the Winter Woods & the warm seasons. I've never anticipated anything so much in my life, & I am not disappointed. it was so much better than I ever could've imagined. Clarion interacting with the Winter Woods & the fairies who reside there was so sweet, she cared so deeply about a realm & people she's never visited before, & it hurt her heart how alone they were. she wanted so badly to fight for them & bring them back together with the other seasons. Milori having to bear the heavy burden of keeping the nightmares imprisoned & his people safe, & blaming himself for them getting out & causing devastation throughout pixie hollow, & Clarion just wanting to help him & ease his sadness. everything about the development of her relationship with Milori from their first to last meeting was so wonderful & also so full of sorrow. the way they fell in love felt so natural, every little interaction was so cute, & the yearning & angst was intense. they saw themselves in each other, the loneliness they felt & the duties they had to take on. (it was seriously one of the best written romances) he watched her star fall & made a wish on it! there was so much pain when they said goodbye but still so much love. I just wanted to cry. also how Milori broke his wing OH MY GOD I WAS NOT READY! THE FACT HE NEVER FOR ONE SECOND BLAMED HER (BECAUSE IT WASN'T HER FAULT)! I CAN'T!

just think, between the events of the book & the movie, they had to be apart from each other for 380 years. I can't imagine the immense loneliness the two of them felt being so far away in their own respective realms, still being so in love but unable to be together like they want (g**dammit I can't do this) but I can't be too sad cuz they end up back together.

also I need to mention the fact that we got not one, not two, not three, but four kisses & they were so passionate! romance & my inner childhood are healing (the last one being so sad)

god I loved this book so much.

[aceofwhump]

I really need some good peter petrelli whump fics bc I am obsessed with him now (I fully blame you for it BTW 😂)

Do you have any good ones to recommend?

YOU AND ME BOTH MY FRIEND!!! (and I take full responsibility lol 😂)

I'm honest to god shocked by how little Peter Petrelli whump fics I have been able to find. I expected ao3 or even fanfic.net to be full of fics for him and his hurt/comfort but I've been struggling to find things. I also avoid all the fics that are shippy becauses it's not my thing BUT! I do have a few fics I can share that I've found:

an overflowing cup by NahaFlowers Summary: In the hospital after he collapses, Peter has another dream about the future; about Nathan. Meanwhile, Nathan tries to comfort a comatose Peter having a nightmare.

Poor Peter by Emilee Crumby Summary: my typical sort of fluff, sick Peter. who doesn't love a needy hero?

Fourteen Days by Polly Summary: Ever wondered what might have happened if Nathan HAD managed to have his little brother declared mentally unwell, all for his own good? Knowing the Petrellis, only a world of new problems and angst

Fallen From Grace by AmiNoo Summary: The worst scar of all is the loss of innocence... When Peter becomes a victim of a senseless attack, he puts his entire faith and, even his life, in the hands of his hero: Nathan Petrelli. rape tw

Touch and Go by GoldSeven Summary: Peter has been shot by Danko, so what happens between Nathan flying him to safety and the next scene on the rooftop? Filling in the gap in episode 3x19, "Exposed".

Four Times Nathan Saved Peter by silverlake7169 Summary: A view on the brothers throughout the years, all the ways their relationship changes, and one way it doesn’t.

Edge by Selena Summary: Peter has more than one reason for letting himself fall.

Petrelli Family Reunited 07 ep tag by Lahaera Summary: Nathan, Peter, Claire and Angela in the aftermath of Peter's “brief death”. Missing Petrelli family scenes from 119 ep “.07”

can't keep my eyes from the circling sky by morgay Summary: Peter thinks he can fly, endangering himself in the process. Nathan worries.

To Have and To Hold by Winter Sapphire Summary: The nightmares just wouldn't let up. They kept coming and coming, and Peter was sure that if it were possible for him to die he would have been dead three nights ago.

Angel by Hermione Eveningfall Summary: Claire has only been living in Manhattan for a couple of weeks, when Peter's health takes a sudden turn for the worst.

[amscraypunk]

Prince Race and blacksmith Spot my BELOVEDS!

Art by the incredibly talented @tankunionion ! If you need me I'll be crying forever about this thanks

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

jon val jon or something

[wildsaltair]

I've never wanted to follow orders so bad in my life

[gearbox-doll]

Okay okay okay okay okay okay okay wait wait wait

Hear me out

12yo Harry writing to Tom in the diary at night, finding comfort in him and telling him all about his time at Hogwarts. Tom learning about Harry and finding, to his displeasure, that he's becoming attached. Harry goes to Tom when he's frustrated and sad, Tom is always there when Harry needs him.

Harry begging Tom to help him save Ginny when he gets to the chamber. Tom's expression twisting with just the slightest amount of guilt before it smooths over again. Harry feeling guilty throughout the entire fight.

Harry looking up at Tom and whispering "I'm sorry" right before he stabs the diary with the fang. Harry crying as Tom disappears, crying as he leaves the chamber, crying as he glances back and wishes it could have gone another way. Harry crying but refusing to tell the adults why because Tom made it clear to him that no one else would think Tom could be saved.

Harry pushing the guilt away and away in his mind for years as he goes through Hogwarts, unable to reconcile Dark Lord Voldemort with the image of Tom Riddle.

Harry getting the locket from Kreacher and opting to wear it most because it affects him the least. Or at least, that's what he tells Ron and Hermione.

Harry wears it because when he puts it on, it feels like a missing piece of him slides back into place.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

no but like. does bad know what that book meant. does he know. because if he did then he gave it to forever Anyway. he gave it to forever as part of a GAME. bad never tells people how he feels about them to their faces (rememebr the 14 elegant letters in festa junina! the 14 anonymous letters that were so fucking lovely!!) and he always plays with people and he gave forever a book. that says eu te amo. as part of a GAME.

[zincbot]

episode 12 prisoner's dilemma is such such such a phenomenal episode

"the sword comes down"

[lenaellsi]

if i have to read any variation of the sentiment "crowley doesn't care about the world, he only cares about himself and aziraphale" with my only human eyes ever again i will not be responsible for my actions

[fuckspn]

i have nothing funny or clever or insightful to say. cas told dean he loved him and then he died.

[araneitela]

Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?

/takes angycat.png typing to my tags

[double-deep-fried-soup]

Day 162 of random Mark images

[silverselfshippingchaos]

oh no. please no. no...