#god grant me the ability to look that sexy in a t-shirt

[sexynetra]

Yesterday I was (lovingly) bullying someone into drawing Dame fanart and they asked me what photos of Dame I would want to see turned into art so I went to her instagram and I stumbled across this which I somehow had never seen before????

Something something pretty women in T-shirts something something

[before-we-get-started]

Safe Landing

One shot that is my entry to @what-is-your-plan-today’s #CATFA 10th Anniversary Challenge

Story:  You’re facing the most difficult time of your life and you’re doing it without the person that means the most to you.  Will your seatmates on an important flight help you make it through?

Pairing:  Steve Rogers & Ransom Drysdale x Reader (plus a surprise special appearance!)

Warnings:  Bad language, light smut, angst

10,000+ words

There’s not going to be a safe landing.

It was the unknown that was the hardest.  The what if.  What if you’d taken the time to slow down?  What if you’d given more than you took?  What if you’d appreciated it, not taken it for granted, not just assumed that it would always be there?

You were alone now.  You didn’t have anyone.  It was probably what you deserved.  You’d persevere, you always had, but knowing you wouldn’t have to if you’d been better caused your heart to clench.

The longest flight of your life was coming to an end, and you considered the travelers making this journey with you by chance.  You’d all shared a row on the plane that was taking you to meet your fate.  One - cynical, crass, growing up longing to be loved, incapable of committing, but under it all, possessing a fierce loyalty for those he deemed worthy.  The other – a gentle, loving soul, committed to service with honor and willing to give all, not just for those he loved, but for the greater good.  They were complete strangers who had seeped into your soul, spirits that would forever fill you, thoughts of them making you smile.

For better or worse, they’d helped you navigate the mine field that was your future. Now you’d endure the unbearable wait, the long walk, watching others unite with loved ones, hoping that maybe, despite all odds, there would be a reunion for you too.  You hoped the soul-soothing moments you’d shared with these two travelers over the last three hours would ease you into whatever awaited you at the airport gate.

Despite everything, you wished he’d be there.  

Three hours earlier

“Thank you for flying National Airlines.”  You forced a smile at the flight attendant as you boarded the plane.  It was going to be a full flight and you were stuck in a middle seat.  Appropriate, given the mood you were in.  You waited impatiently as everyone made their way down the aisle, hoisting bags that were too large to fit in the overhead, straps smacking you as they did.  You pitied your seat mates. You were in no mood for idle conversation. Your temper was wearing thin.

Finally reaching row 12, you were thrilled that no one else had arrived. You plopped into your seat, pulled out your compact and opened it, and grimaced as you took a quick look.  There were circles under your eyes, telling everyone you’d not slept well for days.  You’d definitely lost your sparkle.  You swiped some powder over your nose and ran gloss over your lips, something to make you look less stressed.  You opened your backpack and got a whiff of your grandmother’s scent. You ran your hand over her letter, lingering.  With a sigh, you took the cell phone, headphones and book out of your bag, tucked the letter into the book and stowed the bag under the seat in front of you. You found your seat belt and clicked it, giving it a tug.  Whoever was sitting by the window would have to step around you, you weren’t getting up again.  Music on, book open, you pushed all the sad and empty thoughts aside and got lost in another world.

Within a couple of minutes, you heard shouting and pulled off your headphones. 

You looked up to see a tall man in a blue cashmere sweater and gray silk trousers with his finger in the face of an attendant.  

“Let me tell you something.  You don’t know who you’re fucking with.  Drysdales don’t fly fucking coach – ever.  I’ll sue you and I’ll own this stupid airline.”

“Mr. Drysdale, I’m sorry.  This was the seat that was chosen when the ticket was purchased,” said the flight attendant in a surprisingly calm manner.  “This is a full flight and there is no room for you to upgrade to first class.  And despite what you may think, I had absolutely nothing to do with how the ticket was booked, nor do I have any ability to change the fact that you are in seat 12D.  Now, can I help you stow your bag?  I’ll have a cocktail cart here for you soon.”

You thought he might continue the fight, but he didn’t. Instead he slammed his jacket down on the seat next to you and made a show of slinging his bag into the overhead, muttering a string of expletives the entire time.  Then he looked down at you.

“Just fucking awesome,” he said angrily, picking his jacket up and wedging into the seat.  He was tall and he worked to figure out how to fit his long legs in the legroom designated for the impoverished that were banished to coach.  He sighed in disgust, his knees against the seat tray.  

You studied him for just a second, not wanting to stare.  He had a strong profile, chiseled jawline, dark blonde hair perfectly styled.  His skin was gorgeous, with a slight hook in his nose.  You looked down and caught how his biceps were stretching the sweater a bit and his big hands with long slender fingers settled in his lap.  He smelled of expensive cologne – musky and woody, and he probably had a cigarette before he came into the airport.  He laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.  You took the hint and put your headphones back in, finding the folded page corner in your book.

Within a minute or so, you were aware of a buzz among the other passengers.  You paused the music and pulled out a headphone, looking around and listening.

“I’m certain that’s him,” whispered the woman behind you.  

“No way.  There’s no way Captain America is sitting in coach,” said her husband.

“Do you think he’d take a selfie with me?” said their daughter.

You couldn’t see anything down the aisle and certainly didn’t want to stretch into your neighbor’s seat space given his attitude about having to fly with the peasants.  No need to stress about it though, because the overhead light was suddenly blocked out by an incredibly wide set of shoulders.  The tall blonde man looming over top of you in the aisle took your breath away.  Ice blue eyes, those shoulders as broad as a building, a t-shirt that was screaming to break free from the massive pecs, abs and biceps it struggled to cover, and jeans that hugged his tree trunk thighs.  You weren’t sure how this guy made it through the door of the plane, let alone how he was going to fit into a seat.  

“I’m sorry,” he said to Mr. Attitude next to you.  “I’m the window.”

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” said Mr. Drysdale.

The blonde adonis just smiled and apologized again.  “Sorry, I should’ve already been seated, I got held up in security.”

The crab apple next to you rose and stepped out into the aisle. They were both the same height, and you took a long look, your breath catching in your throat.  There was a lot of handsome man standing in the aisle, and they were getting ready to make a hottie sandwich out of you.  You quickly unsnapped your seatbelt and stood so the blonde god could get past.

“Hi,” he said, a smile that revealed his pearly whites taking your breath away again.  “I’m so sorry, promise you won’t have to get up again.”

“No worries,” you barely squeaked out as that incredible ass in those tight jeans brushed past and slipped into the window seat.  You sat down, your arms at your sides, absolutely no room on the armrests for you with all of this man surrounding you.  Holy shit.

You looked to your left and the blonde extended a hand. “Steve Rogers,” he said, that million watt smile on again.  

“I’m Y/N,” you said, feeling the warmth and strength of his hand. How in the hell had you ended up on a flight next to Captain America?  You didn’t think anything could change your mood, but maybe you were wrong.

He extended his hand across you to the aisle seat occupant.  “Steve Rogers,” he said in his sexy baritone. Mr. Drysdale raised an eyebrow in annoyance and hesitated, then quickly shook his hand.  “Ransom Drysdale.  And I shouldn’t be sitting in this seat,” he said sourly.

Steve raised an eyebrow at you and grinned, unsure what to think about your seatmate.  You shrugged and smiled.

“We’ve been cleared for takeoff. Be sure your seatbelts are fastened, all items are stowed and tray tables are up.  We’ll be taxiing out to the runway in a few minutes.” The flight attendant walked up the aisle, making sure all the overhead compartments were secure.

You were glad you had pulled what you needed from your bag when you sat, because it would take a can opener to pry you out of your seat at this point.  You opened the book again and tried to concentrate on the words.  Captain Rogers was settling into his seat, turning off his cell phone and trying to pull the seatbelt around his waist.  With some effort, you finally heard it click.

“These seats are incredibly tight.  I’ve never flown coach before.  It’s crazy how little room there is.”

“Tell me about it,” said Ransom, rolling his eyes.  “When I get home, I’m firing my assistant over this reservation and making sure no one else will ever hire her,” he snarled.

You tried looking back and forth during the conversation, enjoying the view, but even that movement was difficult.

“So I thought Avengers traveled by quinjet,” you said to the captain.

He smiled at you.  “We normally do, but I had to get out of town quickly and there wasn’t one available. My wife is having early labor pains and I need to get to her as soon as I can.”  There was worry in his blue eyes.

“Oh, I love your wife,” you said.  “She’s amazing.  She has raised so much money with her foundation, done so much for so many. She’s an inspiration, and a badass,” you added.

He chuckled.  “Well, her badass days are behind her.  Being a mom kind of makes that difficult.”

You smiled at him and shook your head.  You were conversing with Captain America about his family.  Had this day taken a turn or what?

“I can’t believe they couldn’t find you a private plane or something,” said Ransom.  “I would’ve bitched to the airline if I were you.”

“It’s hard to find air transportation right now with all the events happening here and the weather cancelling flights.  I’m just grateful that I got what I got.  The doctors gave her something to slow her labor so I should get there in plenty of time,” said Steve.

“It’s your second, right?” you said.

“Yes, we have a son.”

“Do you know what you’re having?” you asked.

He smiled broadly, all the way to his eyes.  “It’s a girl,” he said, and you thought about what a lucky little girl she was to have a daddy so thrilled to be having her.  It wasn’t that way for everyone.

The plane jerked a bit as it began backing away from the gate.  You laid your head back against the seat, fighting the anxiety that was suddenly overtaking you.  You’d only flown a once before and you’d found taking off and landing nearly more than you could take.  On that flight, he was with you, his hand over yours, whispering in your ear that it would be ok and “I’ve got you, baby girl.”  You closed your eyes and smiled at the memory, imaging him next to you.  Then just as suddenly, the memory of him pressing you against the wall, kissing you with abandon flooded your brain and your eyes flew wide open, your body jerking a bit.

“You ok?” Steve asked.

You could feel the heat rise in your neck.  “Yes,” you said shyly.  “Just not a fan of takeoffs.”

“Flying is the safest form of transportation,” said Ransom matter-of-factly.  “You’ll be fine.”

You looked over at him, that chiseled profile staring straight ahead, a scowl on his face.  He’d better watch out or he’d freeze that way.  You grinned at the memory of your grandmother telling you that every time you rolled your eyes.

Steve reached over the armrest and took your hand, covering it with his.  “Flying isn’t my favorite thing either,” he said with a smile and you wrapped your fingers around his thumb.

The flight attendant announced that the cabin was secure and takeoff could commence and the plane slowed, stopping to let another plane pass. The engine whirred and the plane jerked forward, gaining speed, the noise louder and louder.  You squeezed Steve’s thumb a little harder and he returned the squeeze, holding your hand tightly in his big warm one.  The plane began to lift, knocking you back slightly and you went with gravity, straightening your back and laying against the seat, eyes closed, working on breathing normally.  It was unnerving feeling your body lifting from the seat a little.  The loss of control made your heart race, but gently, as the plane rose and then leveled off, your body was once again calm.

You looked over at Steve and he gave you a reassuring smile. “Thanks,” you said softly.  You let go of his thumb.

“No problem,” he said softly, pulling his hand away.  

“My boyfriend normally does that for me,” you said.  And, you were sad again.

“Is that where you’re traveling, to see him?” Steve asked.

You chewed on your bottom lip, looking down at your lap.  “No, my grandmother passed away and I’m going to sort out her home and belongings,” you sighed.  “He won’t be there.  He’s done with me.”  

“What does that mean?” asked Ransom.

You sighed.  “It’s kind of a long story.”

“Well, we’ve got three hours to kill,” Steve said with a smile.

“Jesus Christ,” muttered Ransom, pulling out the airline magazine in an attempt to disappear.

Steve nudged your elbow and smiled.  “Tell me about him.”

You smiled.  “I’ve known him since second grade,” you smiled.  “We started dating in seventh grade.  He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with.”

Ransom let out a disgusted laugh next to you.  You looked over at him.  “Not a romantic, Ransom?”

“Uh, no,” he sputtered.  “Hell no.  Seriously, how old are you?”

You told him your age.

“Jesus, and you’ve only ever been with one guy?  That’s ridiculous.”

You felt Steve’s hand pat your arm.  You looked at him and he rolled his eyes, looking at Ransom.  “I think it’s great you’re with your school sweetheart,” he said.  “You must have some pretty strong feelings for him if you’ve been that loyal to him.”

“I do,” you sighed sadly.  “I thought he was my forever.”

“How can you possibly know that?” said Ransom.  “He’s the only guy you’ve ever been with.”

“I just know,” you said.  “We have a history.’

“Tell me more,” said Steve.

“Well…”

“Where is she?”

“She’s up front, sitting on the pew.”

“What’s going to happen?”

“I heard she’ll go with her grandmother.”

The chatter continued at the back of the church just after the funeral had ended. Sitting all alone in the front was an 8-year-old girl in tights, a black velvet dress, black patent shoes and a bow in her hair.  A large spray of pink tulips flowed over the edge of the oak casket in front of her.  

While the adults gossiped, an 8-year-old boy in a suit and tie emerged from the back and walked up the aisle.  He stood at the edge of the first pew, then sat at the end and slid down until he was next to the girl.  He took her hand in his and when she looked at him, he gave a gap-toothed smile. “It’s ok Y/N.  I’ll take care of you.”  The little girl smiled back.

 “My grandmother passed away last month,” you told Steve.

His blue eyes showed concern.  “I’m so sorry.”  He patted your arm.

Ransom let out a sarcastic chuckle.  For someone who didn’t want to talk, he was finding his way into your conversation.  You turned your face to him, unsure what type of asshole laughs at someone’s death.

He looked at you and immediately his face was serious.  “I’m sorry too,” he said.  “I was laughing because my grandmother was the only person on the planet that ever gave a shit about me.  She was the most amazing person I ever knew.”

You couldn’t help but feel for him, despite his incredibly rough edges.

“Well, my grandmother was really amazing too,” you said.  “She got stuck with me when I was little and she did a great job raising me.”

You’d moved in with her at an incredibly difficult time.  Your grandfather had passed less than a year before, and then your mother, her only child.  Taking you in was never in doubt, she would do so gladly, but it was a challenge that she struggled with many times.

Enter him.  He was only a child, but he had, as they say, “an old soul.”  He became your constant companion and a fixture in your grandmother’s home.  You could feel her tension ease when he arrived.  For a little while, she didn’t have to worry if she was making the right decisions for you, bridging the generation gap.  When the two of you were together, you were in sync and well behaved.

You told them how, from the time you moved in with your grandmother, he became your protector.  He walked you to and from school every day, carrying your lunchbox so you could pick flowers along the way.  At recess, he ran to the teeter totter to save it until you got there, and when you climbed on a swing, he pushed you so high you felt like you were flying.

You played baseball with boys until sixth grade and he was always on your team.  When you made the cheerleading squad, he helped you learn all the cheers and during the game, you’d see him on the sidelines with the team, miming your cheers from memory.  

His family was difficult.  His father drove a truck all over the country and was gone for long periods of time.  His mother liked to drink, a little too much, and wasn’t always kind to her children. Despite her treatment, her neglect of her children, he had grown up well-mannered and respectful.  You liked to think your grandmother had a lot to do with that.

“I lost my Ma when I was in my teens,” said Steve.  You knew his story, and that he would have lost her decades ago, but losing your mother was still hard.

Ransom scoffed.  “I should be so lucky,” he said under his breath.

You looked at him.  “Did you just wish your mother dead?” you said sternly.

He looked at you.  “Trust me, the world would be a much better place,” he muttered.

You glared at him for a minute, then turned your attention back to Steve.

“My mom was wonderful,” you said, the memory of her flooding your mind. “She was that mom – the one that did all the fun stuff.  She was creative and an incredible cook and her house was open to everyone.  She was just, she was the best,” you said, tears creeping into your voice.  You felt Steve’s arm push into yours just a bit, the contact easing your sadness.

“My mother is a spoiled rotten bully.  All she cares about is spending money and making people think she’s better than everyone,” Ransom spat out.  “I honestly don’t know why she even had me – actually, I do.  She wouldn’t be nearly as happy if she didn’t have the opportunity to tell me what a disappointment I am every occasion she gets.”

“She sounds like a character out of a movie,” you said.

He looked at you.  “Absolutely fucking no one would watch that movie,” he said deadpan.

Steve cleared his throat.  “So, when did you and your boyfriend get serious?”

“I think we just always knew we’d be together,” you said.  “We were inseparable and we loved each other from that moment in the church.  No one ever invited just one of us to something, it was always both of us.”

“That’s special,” said Steve.  “Some people never find their soulmate.  I was so lucky to find mine when I did.  She helped me discover the world when I came out of the ice.  She’s truly the better half of me.”

You couldn’t help but poke the bear a little.  “Ransom, you’ve never been in love?  Ever?”

He looked at you and rolled his eyes.  “Nope,” he said, popping the P.  “Love is for fools.  Life is too short to be with one person.  There’s a buffet of beauty out there and I’m happy to be the first in line.”

You looked at Steve, who was suppressing a little smile.  “You just haven’t found the right person,” he said, also poking the bear a bit.

“There is no ‘right person’ for me, of that I am sure,” he spat. “I’m fine taking care of me. Don’t need to worry about anyone else expecting something from me I can’t give them.”  He was back to looking at his magazine, acting disinterested. “Besides, anyone that claims to ‘love’ me is lying – they’re really only in love with my money.”

“Aw, Ransom,” you said with a grin, “are you saying you’re not lovable?”

“Wouldn’t you like to find out,” he said in a deep, flirty voice, and for the first time, he smiled.

You could hear Steve chuckling softly next to you.

“Y/N, he’s here!”  You could hear your grandmother’s voice from the bottom of the stairs.  You looked in the full length floor mirror one more time. She’d spent hours making your prom dress, just like you’d asked.  It was a beautiful coral color, strapless with a beaded bodice and lace around the top and bottom.  It flared as it reached the floor, and you poked your pink-painted toes in strappy gold heels out from under it.  Around your neck were the pearls your mother had gotten from your great-grandparents for her high school graduation.  Your hair was half up with braids on either side joined in the back with a ribbon clip, the rest down in waves on your shoulders.  

Waiting for you was the guy you wanted to spend your life with.  Every moment with him was special.  Your love for him had blossomed and thinking of a future with him filled your heart.  Tonight, you were sure the two of you would come together in a way you never had. You were ready, past ready, and you knew he was too.  What you felt for him was so deep, you wanted to give him all of you, and you knew he’d take you, just as you are, and cherish you.

As you descended the stairs, he looked up at you and you thought, this must be how the bride feels when her groom sees her for the first time.  He consumed you with his eyes, taking you in from head to toe. With three steps to go, he stepped forward and reached for your hand.  He was so warm and he pulled you to him, a hug and sweet kiss to your glossed lips.  His smile was contagious.  

“You’re my dream,” he said, placing a corsage around your wrist, a pink tulip (your very favorite) in the center.  “Let’s go so I can show you off.”

When you walked into the gymnasium, you saw the looks you got.  Girls were wearing expensive dresses from the best designers, hair and makeup done professionally.  You knew your dress wasn’t as nice and that you stood out in comparison.  But he made you feel as if you were more.  He danced with you all night, making sure to stand in the center of the dance floor so everyone could see you.  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in your ear. “You’re exquisite.”  As you both worked the room, talking to friends, he would start the conversation with “how did I get so lucky?” or “look at my beautiful girl.”  You were so happy to be on his arm, by his side.

The evening flew by, the last song played by the DJ, and kids started filing out of the gym. You were sad to leave but your entire body was tingling with anticipation.  He opened the door to his dad’s car for you and as you drove away, you wondered if he was as excited as you.  You weren’t nervous, just anxious.

He drove you down the long road to the lake you’d been visiting since you were kids. He parked the car in a grove of trees, shielded by overgrown bushes.  When he looked at you, it felt like he looked deep inside you.  

He pressed a kiss to your lips, his fingers under your chin, lifting your mouth to his. You let out a little noise, deepening the kiss.  He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes closed, savoring your touch.

“Are you ready for this?” he whispered.  It sent chills all over you.

“Yes,” you breathed, kissing him again.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said reassuringly, but you were already pulling off the tie to his tux, unbuttoning the buttons at his throat and down his chest, your fingers brushing his pecs as you went.  He gently pulled the dress down your arms, exposing your bare breasts.  You’d seen him so many times but tonight, you wanted to devour his toned, muscled body, his tanned skin, the prize for hard work at his uncle’s farm.  You wanted to worship him the way he’d always worshiped you. You kissed his soft lips, pressing your breasts to his chest.  

He took a shuddering breath, moving down to kiss and nip along your collarbone to your neck as you pulled the shirt from his body.  You laid your head back, exposing your throat, allowing him to kiss along the shaft to your chest, down your sternum.  You looked in his eyes as he gently touched your breast with his hand, then dipped his head down to gently take a pebbled nipple into his mouth. He was so warm and gentle, you thought you might explode right then.  You lifted yourself to pull the dress off, leaving you in your lace panties and your gold high heels.  He leaned back to take a look at you, then dove in again to your breasts, giving each of them attention.  

Slowly his hands made their way down your belly to the edge of your panties.  He gently laid you back on the seat and you lifted your legs, reaching to undo his belt and pants.  He toed off his shoes and socks, then managed to pull his pants and boxers off under the steering wheel.  He pulled the condom from his wallet and stretched it over his hard, weeping cock.  With a look that made you shiver, he crawled over you, his arms caging you on either side of your head.  It was a tight squeeze but it worked.  As he began kissing you, you lifted your hips, touching him.  He was ready for you and you for him.  He lined himself up with you and very slowly entered you. You winced and his hands went to your hair, kissing your forehead, your nose.  

“You ok?” he asked softly.

“Mm hmm,” you hummed, pulling at his hips, feeling him go deeper inside you.  His lips found yours as he found a gentle rhythm. He took you in, his eyes roaming your face, that smile that melted your heart.  You laid your head back and he assaulted your neck with kisses as his rhythm picked up.  

No matter what you had imagined, nothing would feel like this.  He fit you perfectly.  Your heart swelled and you let out a little sob of happiness as his rhythm grew faster.

“I love you Y/N,” he said in your ear.  “Always.”

“I love you too,” you managed, followed by a moan from deep in your throat that made him growl in approval.  

He quickened his pace and you lifted to him even more, feeling the coil in your lower belly tightening.

“I’m – oh, I’m so…”

“It’s ok baby, I’ve got you.”

His voice was so soft and husky in your ear, you let go, a sound you couldn’t describe escaping as you reached your climax.  You ran your fingernails down his muscular back, then settled in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

“God Y/N, fuck, you feel so good, you’re so good for me.”  His movements began to stutter as he found his release and you held him tightly to you as he finished, his head falling to your shoulder.  You both lay there in the dark, panting, your bodies on fire.  

“You’re amazing,” you said in a soft voice, your fingers running down his back.

He lifted slowly, propping his head in his hand.  He trailed his fingers down your chest to your breasts.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he grinned.

“It was so good!” you said.  You nuzzled his neck, kissing him softly there.  “I want more,” you breathed into his ear.

He laughed and kissed you. You both cleaned up a bit and you started all over again, this time straddling him on the seat.  He let you lead this time and you explored his hard, fit body, covering his face and chest in kisses.  When you lowered yourself onto him, your palms were flat against his chest as you mewled your release, and you held him through his.  It was incredible.  When he walked you to your door early that morning, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him as if it would be the last time you’d have the chance.  You could tell you took his breath away as he came up for air.

“I love you,” you said, looking into his eyes and never meaning anything more in your life.

He smiled and pulled you to him.  “I love you too,” he whispered in your ear.

As he drove away, your mind was filled with your future, the two of you living a life full of nights like tonight.  As you drifted off to sleep, you could still feel his skin on yours.

 You shared, but not quite all of it, with your seatmates.  

“So if he’s so amazing, why won’t he be there when you arrive?” Ransom asked.

You knew hurt crossed your face, it was impossible to hide.  “Our lives, they just went different directions. I never thought they would, but they did.  And then –“ You let out a shaky sigh.  “Then he didn’t need me anymore.”  Your voice trailed off.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” said Steve, sounding like a father.  “It’s ok.”

“Maybe you should,” said Ransom, “get it all out so that if you’re disappointed when we land, it’s not so bad.”

You rested back against your seat and played it in your mind again. You told them a little about after high school and where you both ended up.

“It was my fault.  I gave up on us.  I pushed him away.  He wasn’t my priority.  For all I know, it didn’t even hurt him.  I’m sure it was much easier with me out of the way.”

“That’s a lot of conjecture,” said Ransom.  “Sounds like you had your reasons.”

“I guess he couldn’t really help being away from you,” said Steve sympathetically.  “I can tell you from experience there’s nothing worse than being separated from the one you love most.”

Ransom rolled his eyes.  “We all make choices,” he said sarcastically.

Steve sighed.  “I don’t regret any I’ve made,” he said sternly.

“Then be prepared to deal with the consequences.”  He looked at you.  “If your boyfriend really loved you, he wouldn’t have taken a job shrouded in so much mystery.  He would’ve been available to you.  Maybe him taking the job was just the coward’s way of saying he wanted to explore other options.”

“Or maybe he felt it was what he needed to do to take the best care of her,” said Steve.  You heard what you bet was probably his captain’s voice.

Ransom looked him dead in the eye.  “Look Captain Self Righteous, if love is that important to you, there’s nothing that says you’ve had to take the chances you’ve taken.  You didn’t have to become a super soldier either. Choices.  If Y/N’s boyfriend had made her a priority, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Steve gave an exasperated sigh and shook his head.

“I honestly don’t blame him for moving on, I just wish he’d tried harder to tell me we were through.  That’s all.” Tired of talking, you opened your book, put on your headphones and tried to get lost in the story.

 “Y/N, can you hear me?”

“Yes, barely,” you answered.  The connection was bad.  Who knew where he was calling from, or what kind of signal he had.  

“Don’t hang up,” he said hopefully.

“I won’t.”

It was the next natural step for you to go to college, but he needed something else. He was adventurous, energetic, crazy almost, and he needed something else.  So he’d joined the Army as you went away to school.  You were scared to be separated but he’d assured you the bond you had couldn’t be broken.  He got to explore the world, facing difficult situations and enjoying the adrenaline rush. You couldn’t help but worry but he told you not to, he was in his element.  And despite the distance, you’d made up for the time with letters, texts, phone calls, photos and even intimacy via cell phone.  Your senior year of college began the same time as the last year of his enlistment.  About halfway through the year, you sensed something had changed.  He was disillusioned with his superiors and had fallen in with a group of soldiers that were fed up.  

Each time he’d visit somewhere new, he’d send you a memento.  “Wish you were here with me.  This would be so much better with you.  Someday, I’m taking you all over the world.  I can’t wait until we’re together.”  You dreamed of it too, if you could just find the path to come back together.

Soon, many of those calls, texts and letters seemed to be from someone you didn’t know. And as he was moving forward and finding his path, you were finding yours.  You’d taken a job in Chicago, hundreds of miles from him and your grandmother.  It was your dream job, and you’d always imagined life in the city.  Some of your friends were headed that way and you talked of sharing an apartment and all the fun you’d have.  For the first time, you questioned whether he’d be a part of it.

Once graduation was over, you’d said goodbye to your grandmother and the small town where you’d grown up and headed off for your next adventure.  And he had begun his.  He left the service and took a job with the chance to make a lot of money so that the two of you could pick where you wanted to be and settle down, build your dream house and fill it with kids, just like you’d always hoped.  He just needed you to be patient with him.  

The job was tough.  He traveled for weeks without communicating and you found yourself living as if he wasn’t there anymore.  When you did speak, for the first time in your lives, it would end in a fight.  

“I’m doing my best here,” he’d say.  You could hear the stress in his voice.  “This isn’t forever.  I’m going to get to a place where we can be together and our lives will be just like we imagined.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked, the words stinging as you said them.  “How can you be sure we should even still be together? We’re both so different.”

“We’re not, Y/N.  You’re still what I want.  We just have to hold on for a little while longer.”

 “Sounds like his job was pretty intense,” said Steve, his face looking serious.

“It was.  And very secret. He couldn’t tell me much.  I’m sure you know about that.”

“I do,” he said.  “It’s not easy to not be able to share everything with the one person you trust the most.  But sometimes it’s for your own protection.”

“I know,” you said.  “And I’m proud of him.  He didn’t always have it so easy,” she said, glancing at Ransom, “but he worked hard, and he was doing it for me.”

Ransom raised an eyebrow at you.  “I see.  I was handed everything and you think I’ve never done an honest day’s work in my life.”

You looked at his velvety smooth, sexy hands.  “Have you?”

He blinked.  “Probably not the way you think, but I’m not totally useless.  And you don’t have to risk your life every time you go to work to be successful,” he said, shooting Steve a look.

Steve grinned.  “Trust me, it’s not exactly what I would’ve chosen for myself.  It’s a situation that found me and I’ve worked hard to accept it.”

“Yes, must be brutal to be built like that.  Do you carry a club to beat the women away?  Or do you just ask them nicely to stop climbing you,” Ransom said with a sardonic smile.

You cleared your throat.  “Anyway, I could just feel things changing between us and I felt really lost, but also kind of empowered.  I’d moved away from home, stepped away from him and I was a success. And if I’m honest,” she said, eyeing Ransom, “I wondered what it might be like to date someone else.”

He let out a sarcastic laugh.

“And then everything changed…”

 A few weeks later, you’d received a text in the middle of the night.  “Meet me at the wheel at Navy Pier on the 25th at midnight.  There’s something I need to tell you.”

You’d scoffed at the invitation.  “If you’re coming to Chicago, come stay with me.  Why are we meeting at midnight?”

“It’s just the way we need to do it, for now.  Promise me you’ll be there.”

As the day approached, you found yourself immersed in work and trying to finish a project with an approaching deadline.  You didn’t understand why, after not seeing each other for so long, he wouldn’t just come to your place, let you make him dinner, spend the night with you.  Why must it be so clandestine?

You texted him – “You need to come to me.  I have a lot of work and I’m on a deadline.  If you love me, you’ll come stay with me so we can catch up properly.”

You didn’t hear back from him and on the evening he’d asked to meet you, you’d fallen asleep at your desk at home while working to finish your assignment.  

“Y/N, are you coming?”  “Where are you?”  “Please, I need to see you.”  He kept texting but the late hours you’d been keeping had you in a deep sleep.  

When your alarm went off for work, you shuffled into the shower, the hot water serving as a wake-up call.  Suddenly your eyes flew open – you’d slept through midnight!  You jumped from the shower, shampoo still in your hair, and grabbed for your phone.  It was dead. You plugged it in, finished bathing and scampered back to your nightstand for the phone.  

You read his texts and tears flooded your eyes.  He’d come all the way to Chicago and you missed him.  You called, then sent a flurry of texts but there was no response.  

He’d wanted to tell you something urgently and you’d totally blown him off.  How did you get here?  This was the love of your life.  You should’ve been there with open arms.  How long had it been since you’d held him, kissed him?  You suddenly felt as if you’d been punched in the gut.  You tried to catch your breath, frantically calling him again and again but no answer.

You began a series of texts explaining that you’d gotten caught up in work, and even though it wasn’t more important than he was, you’d fallen asleep and lost track of time.  Could you please meet him somewhere else?  You’d come to him, wherever he was.  You wouldn’t tell anyone where you were going, you just needed to see him. Despite pouring your heart out to him, there was no response.

Until one night, when you’d phoned him for the millionth time, and someone answered. “Hello?” said a sultry female voice.  Thinking you had the wrong number, you were about to speak when you heard his voice in the background.  She said his name and you heard his husky baritone, a laugh in his voice.  You quickly ended the call.

This was what he wanted to tell you – he’d found someone else.  No wonder he never called back, never returned your texts. It was over and you’d made it easy for him.

Despite the cramped quarters, both of your seatmates managed to doze off during the flight.  Steve had crammed his jacket between his head and the wall of the plane and was softly snoring.  Ransom, with no respect for body space, had allowed his head to dip over onto your shoulder.  You didn’t mind, you were glad he could rest.  You couldn’t help but feel for him.  It would be awful to have so much money, but be completely without anyone to love you, even your family.  He smelled good and you settled down into your seat, staying as still as you could.

The time was counting down until you arrived at your destination and you hadn’t read the letter.  You just didn’t think you could take it.  Hearing your grandmother’s final thoughts when she knew her life was ending (but no one else did) was almost too much.  Her last wishes were important, it was your responsibility to see them through.  With each of your seatmates comfortably resting, you slowly opened the envelope.  Your grandmother’s scent hit you immediately, and you felt tears burn at your eyes.

You unfolded the delicate stationery.  It was powder blue with a scalloped edge.  You’d bought if for her for Mother’s Day a few years back.  She loved writing letters and leaving you notes, and the delicate femininity of the paper fit her perfectly.

“My Sweet Y/N,

As you read this, please know that I’m so sorry that I’ve left you.  Raising you was my greatest accomplishment.  I made mistakes with your mother, so I worked hard to be patient with you, and really listen.  I cherish what we had and want you to know how proud I am of you, the wonderful young woman you’ve become.”

You wiped the tear that had begun to roll down your cheek and sniffed softly.  It was harder than you’d even imagined.

“I’m sorry I didn’t share my diagnosis with you until the end, but I wanted you to continue to move forward.  I knew that if I told you, you’d insist on being with me.  I didn’t want you sitting by my bed while I slept when you could be enjoying your life.  You gave me your very best, I owed it to you to let you go and find your future.”

You thought of all the times you’d meant to pick up the phone and call her, but something else had come up and you’d simply pushed her to the back of your mind.  The thought of it made you wince.  How hard would it have been to just call and say hello?   Had she not earned that from you?

“I’m not leaving much behind.  The house is yours to do with as you please.  I know it’s old and not what you might want, but I can’t help but think, knowing how good you are with decorating, that you could make it a home you’d love and enjoy.  However, if you choose to sell it, please know I’m fine with that decision as well. Don’t feel guilty.  Your future is where you make it.”

The house was certainly old and dated, not what you had in mind.  Not to mention you never planned to return to your old hometown.  You didn’t know what you’d do there if you did.  And now, there was even less reason to return.

“My biggest regret is not seeing your face when he proposed to you.  I can only imagine how it felt when he put your mother’s ring on your finger and asked you to be his wife.  That giant Ferris wheel at Navy Point was a perfect backdrop.

When he came to pick it up, he said he’d always dreamed of settling in this little house, but he knew Chicago was your home now, so he wanted to ask you in the place that was important to you.  I will rest peacefully knowing that you have someone so special to take care of you.”

You froze, then let out a strangled cry.  Steve jerked awake, his hand flying to your shoulder.

“Y/N, what is it?  Are you ok?”

Finally, you let go.  There was no holding back.  You put your face in your hands, sobs shaking your shoulders.

“Jesus, what did you do?” Ransom asked Steve as he touched your other shoulder, bending down to look at you.

“Nothing!  I woke up and she was crying.”

How could you have not seen this? Why did you doubt him?  It suddenly washed over you how he must’ve felt, standing there in the dark, alone, waiting for you, to ask you the biggest question of your lives.  

Your sobs increased, though you were trying to stifle the noise, considering you were on a full airplane with two beefcakes on either side of you worried.

“Y/N,” Ransom said, his lips close to your ear.  He put his hand on your back and rubbed gentle circles. “Talk to us.  What happened?”

You slowly sat up, Steve taking your hand in his.

“Oh my God, you guys, I blew it.  I totally blew it.  I broke his heart.  I can’t believe I did this to him.”

The two men looked at each other, question on their faces.

“Did what?” Ransom said softly.

You held up the letter.  “This is from my grandmother.  I’ve put off reading it because I was so sad to know it was the last communication I’d have with her.  He was coming to propose to me.  At Navy Pier. He picked up my mother’s ring from my grandmother,” you said softly.  Saying it out loud made it even worse. You couldn’t stop the flow of tears that fell from your eyes.

“Oh man,” Ransom said quietly, rubbing your back even more.

“Y/N, are you sure?” said Steve.

“Yes,” you sobbed, handing him the letter.  Ransom put his hand on your side and pulled you toward him, cradling you against his chest.

“It’s going to be ok,” he soothed.  “You didn’t know.  He should’ve told you he wanted to ASK you something instead of TELL you something.”

You blinked and sat up, looking at him.  “I mean, I don’t know if it would have mattered.”

“Of course it would’ve,” he said.  “This isn’t on you, it’s on him.  He should’ve been adamant that he wanted to ask you something.”

Steve handed you the letter back.  You could see the sadness on his face.  “I’m sure he was upset,” he said softly.  “He’d probably been waiting until the right moment.”

You scrunched up your face, fresh tears flowing.

“Jesus,” Ransom whispered to Steve, “you could at least be supportive.”

You wiped your finger under your eye to catch a tear before it dropped on the letter.  Your heart was racing and you couldn’t catch your breath.  You felt as if your stomach had dropped to your feet.  It was a desperate feeling, knowing what you knew and not being able to reach out to him and tell him how badly you’d screwed up.  

“You ok?” Steve asked softly.

“Yeah,” you said.  “And here I thought when I sat down in this seat I couldn’t feel worse.”

Steve laid his hand on your arm, squeezing a little.  “If everything you said about the two of you is true, this is something you can overcome.  It was a misunderstanding.  If those feelings are there, you’ll be able to fix it.”

You sniffed and wiped at your nose.  “Well, that’s the burning question, isn’t it?  How could he still have feelings for me after what I did.”

It was Ransom’s turn to bolster your confidence a bit.  “Look, misunderstandings happen all the time. And honestly, you hadn’t seen him in so long – did he not think you’d have misgivings about what he had to say when he wouldn’t come and stay with you?  He could’ve come to your place and then taken you somewhere special to propose. This isn’t on you, Y/N.  This is on him.”

You gave him a half-hearted smile.  “It doesn’t really matter though, does it.  In the end, he’s gone and I’m alone.”  You laid your head back on the seat, closing your eyes to ward off more tears.

Your mind whirled with memories – the two of you hiking near your home with your beloved dog joining you; going to the annual fair and riding all the rides that made you squeal and him laugh at you; laying side-by-side in your grandmother’s hammock on the front porch.  He never just held your hand – he always intertwined your fingers. He said if you looked from above, you couldn’t tell where he began and you ended.  

 Had you really been part of such an amazing love story?  You could hear his voice saying your name as he wrapped a hand under your ear to kiss you goodnight, and you could hear it when he called you from oh-so-far-away where he was lonely and probably afraid but never let on so you wouldn’t worry.

You let out a giant sigh and pulled your phone from the storage pocket in front of you.  You’d texted him before you got on the plane because it seemed like the right thing to do as you traveled back to your past.  He was too big a part of it not to.

“Did you get a text from him?” asked Steve, looking down at your phone.

“No,” you said, “I sent him one before I got on the plane.  I always imagined he’d be there with me through everything.  I just needed to reach out to him.”

“Mind if I look?” he asked.

“Sure, why not,” she half laughed.

She scrolled to the top of the message and handed the phone to him. Steve read silently, his eyebrows scrunching in concern.

I know we haven’t talked in a long time but today is going to be hard and I need you to know how much having you in my life has meant to me.  Even though we didn’t make it to the end, like we’d hoped, my life is so much better because of you.  If I were to die tomorrow, I’d do it knowing that in my life, I was truly loved by someone special.  For so long, I didn’t know how to be me without you.

I’m so proud of you, serving our country and then taking on a dangerous job to protect others.  I never told you enough how brave you are.  When I was worried or afraid, you’d be there like a safety net, making sure my heart was protected.  I’ll never be able to thank you enough for loving me.

This is going to be a hard day.  There’s not going to be a safe landing.  Everything I had, everything that made me secure, it’s all gone.  I’m sorry that I gave up.  I’m in uncharted waters.  I should’ve fought with everything I had for you.  I hope you’re happy with someone who will appreciate you and all you have to give.  Whoever she is, she’s a very lucky girl.

Steve cleared his throat, trying to remove the giant lump that had formed there.  “Wow,” he said.  “Those are beautiful words.”

“They’re from the heart.  I felt foolish as soon as I sent them and now I feel even more stupid.  I can’t imagine how much he hates me.”

“Mind if I look?” said Ransom.

“Yeah, and then if you want, pass it across the aisle,” you said sarcastically.

Ransom rolled his eyes and his mouth turned up in a grin.  He scanned over the text.

“Damn,” he whispered.  He looked at you.  “Look, I know I don’t know you at all and this has been a little slice of our lives, an unpleasant moment we’ll forget quickly, but if this guy got this text and doesn’t respond to you, he isn’t who you say he is.  Ok, you fucked up.  You should’ve met him that night.  But this right here would be enough for me to make a U-turn.  You had something really good.”

You grinned at him.  “Ransom, are you telling me it’s possible that a girl could win your heart?”

His face flooded with color.  “No,” he said a little too boisterously.  “Trust me, anyone that can take a little of me has their hands full.”

Steve chuckled.

“What?” said Ransom defensively.

“Something tells me you’re all talk.”

Ransom narrowed his eyes at Steve.  “What does that mean?”

Steve smiled a true American hero smile.  “It means, watching you with Y/N, I think you’re really a pussycat. Go ahead and act like a tough guy, but we all know the truth.  You’re a softie just looking for the right girl.”  He couldn’t help the smug look that replaced his smile.

“Alright Captain Jackass, you go ahead with your self-righteous psychoanalysis.  I’m capable of being nice to a woman without being a softie.  Seriously, the 1940’s called and they want their word back.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the two of them.  You never thought when you sat down between these two incredible hunks that you’d share your life story with them and they’d comfort you as you discovered a secret that would haunt you the rest of your life.

Ding

“You’ll notice the fasten seat belts sign has been activated as we make our descent.  Please secure your belongings and return your tray tables to their original position. We should be arriving at our destination in a few minutes.”

“Seriously,” grumbled Ransom, “how many people have died from errantly deployed tray tables.  Is that really our biggest concern?”

You giggled a little at his words and he looked at you, the first real smile he’d smiled all day gracing his handsome face.  He had the most piercing blue eyes.  You wished he would find someone who’d give him a chance. Underneath that gruff exterior, you just knew there was a loving, caring guy.

“Need a hand?” asked Steve, taking yours in his.  You smiled and squeezed gently.

It suddenly occurred to you what awaited when he arrived.  “You must be so excited!”

“I am,” he beamed.  “I’m going to meet my baby girl soon.”

“She’s a lucky little girl,” you smiled.

“Poor thing, just trying to imagine the first guy that comes to pick her up for a date,” Ransom grinned.

Steve raised an eyebrow.  “She’ll never know, I’m locking her in her room when she turns 15,” he smiled.

Slowly the plane began to descend.  Your heart suddenly leaped into your throat as you thought about what lie ahead for you.  You thought of walking through your grandmother’s home and a feeling of loneliness washed over you, causing an ache in your chest.  

“Doing ok?” Steve asked.

You turned to him and smiled.  “Yes, thank you.”   You looked to Ransom and back to Steve.  “This has been a great flight.  Thank you both for indulging me and listening, and for your support.”  You looked at Ransom.  “I know you said this is just an unpleasant moment we’ll soon forget, but I can tell you both I’ll never forget either of you.”  You fought the tears stinging your eyes.

“Yeah, well, it’ll probably be awhile before I forget you as well,” said Ransom.  

Steve pulled a pen from the bag in front of him and wrote his cell number on your palm.  “Put it in your phone.  Call or text me anytime you need to talk.  I mean it.”

That ache in your heart suddenly subsided.  “Thanks.  And I mean it too.”

Within a few minutes, the plane touched down roughly on the runway, then slowed and taxied to a stop at the gate.  You pulled your bag from under the seat in front of you.  You felt lightheaded so you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.  You could do this.  

Ransom took your hand and helped you up, and you made your way behind him into the aisle, Steve behind you, his hand on your lower back.  You walked out into the boarding bridge, walking slowly behind the crowd of passengers.  In a few minutes, you’d leave these guys who you’d never see again. You took your time shuffling along, prolonging the moment.

The crowd in front of you slowed and then stopped, as passengers found those that were meeting them.  That ache clenched your chest again.  You’d make your way to the rental car desk and get a ride to take you to what would surely be a sad, nostalgic evening.

“Hmm,” said Ransom.  “Interesting.”

“What?” you asked as he blocked your view.

“Probably just a coincidence.”

“I don’t know,” Steve said skeptically.  “Seems like too much of a coincidence.”

Now you were behind both of them and you couldn’t see anything but the backs of their gorgeous heads and their pants hugging their fine asses.  It was definitely the best view of the trip and probably the best you’d have for a long time.  You snickered thinking about it.

“Well, guess we’re going to find out,” said Steve as he took a couple of steps to his right and stopped.  

You were able to see ahead now as they parted, and the first thing that caught your eye was the pink tulips – a huge bouquet of them.  You looked above the flowers at the pink Petunias t-shirt, the blonde Van Dyke on his chin, his round wire framed glasses and spikey blonde hair.  Your breath caught in your throat and you stopped, unable to move.  You felt a hand at your elbow – Steve.  You looked up at him.

“You ok?” he asked.  It was a fatherly tone and you smiled a million watt smile at him, grabbing his hand and Ransom’s arm, pulling them forward.

You walked up to him, taking him in.  He was beautiful, even better than you remembered.  His body was toned and solid, tattoos peeking out from under the t-shirt.  Blue jeans graced his long sexy legs, high top Chucks rounding out the look.  You were overwhelmed by how much you needed him. How had you lived without him for so long?

“Hey beautiful,” he said in that sexy baritone voice.  He extended the flowers to you and you took them, inhaling deeply.  

“I can’t believe it.”  Your voice was so quiet you were sure he didn’t hear you.

“I’m here Y/N.  I’m here for you.”  He pulled you to him and you lifted the flowers, wrapping your arms around his neck. He touched his nose to yours. “Did you think I’d leave you to do this alone?”

You looked into his beautiful blue eyes and tried so hard to believe this was really happening.  “I didn’t expect you to be here.  Not after what I did to you.  I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.  Not until I read Gramma’s letter on this plane did I know. I can’t imagine how badly I hurt you.” You swallowed, pushing the hurt down deep.  “I understand why you moved on, I do.  And it’s ok.”

You saw the pain in his eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.  “There’s no one else,” he said, “never has been.  I screwed it all up.  I just did it all wrong.  I should have come to you.  I wanted to see you so bad.  I just didn’t want to put you in danger.”  He looked down and swallowed, then looked back into your eyes.  “Did you mean it?  All those things you said in that text this morning?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice strong.  “Every word.  I love you so much.”

He pressed his lips, so soft, to yours and gave you the sweetest kiss. “I love you too.  Always, Y/N.”  He kissed you again, this one deeper, his arms wrapped around you so securely.  You could die right now and it would be ok.

Suddenly, you were aware of your surroundings.  You pulled away from him, an arm around his neck, and you looked at your seatmates.

“Ransom, Steve, this is the love of my life, Jake Jensen.  Jake, these are the superstars of Row 12 that got me through this flight.”

Jake extended his hand to each of them.  “Thank you guys.  Flying is not her favorite.  Appreciate you both being so good to her.”

Ransom eyed him carefully.  “You’ve got a really great girl here,” he said to Jake.  “Don’t fuck it up.”

Steve smirked at Ransom.  “He’s right,” said Steve.  “Take good care of her.”  He looked Jake up and down with his best Captain look.

“Shit,” Jake muttered and you laughed, kissing him reassuringly.  

“Thanks guys.  You’re the best.”  You stepped forward and kissed each of them softly on the cheek.

Steve nodded and smiled, then walked towards his handler, who’d escort him to a car and whisk him away to the hospital to be by his wife’s side.

“Good luck!” you called to him and he smiled.

Ransom secured the strap of his bag on his shoulder as he approached a leggy blonde in a tight designer dress with a figure to die for.

“Hey baby,” she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and laid a kiss on him that would make a stripper blush.

“Easy babe, save some for the hotel,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and walking away.  He turned and gave you a last look, flashing you a gorgeous smile.

“Damn,” said Jake, “if I was another guy, I might be kind of jealous and insecure about that, but I’m not some other guy, I’m your guy,” he said, rubbing his nose to yours.

“And don’t you forget it,” you said, kissing him deeply before pulling him by the hand away from the gate.  

“We’re going to have to go through all of the pictures you know,” you said with a devilish grin.

“Oh God, do we have to?  I don’t need to be reminded of what a dork I was back then.”

“You’re still a dork, but a very sexy one,” you said as you walked hand in hand towards your future.

Tags:

@what-is-your-plan-today  @captainsteveamericarogers

[littlemisskookie]

Loveless: Chapter 6

Loveless: Index Ship: Reader | OT7 Description: Spy/Men in Black!AU | You worked at an institution that dealt with aliens- aliens that were the fictional creatures we were told were from fairy tales. The job entailed love only for it, and nothing else. That’d all change when a mission goes wrong. Warnings: Sub/Dom Themes, Choking, Blowjob, Pussy Slapping, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Sir!Kink, Degrading Names, Dumbification???, Intercourse, Comedy Word Count: 4,054 A/N: beta read by @jungtoeseok

"Hobi," you whined, your thighs pressed against each other as a reaction to the sudden flesh of arousal.

Ah yes, feeding time, Hoseok thought. AKA the least sexy way to describe coitus.

It had been a little less than a week, and already Hoseok was worn out. He never before believed in the concept of "too much sex", but with you, you were insatiable. Your group called it feeding, and your lust hunger. It made sense. True to theory, you were slowly regaining strength, your face becoming fuller as well as your body. You were no longer skin and one, instead returning to your normal self. You regained muscle and fat, truly fleshed out instead of a mere outline of what you once were.

Still, you needed constant feedings in order to maintain it. Hoseok did his best to keep up, knowing it was in the best interest of your health. However, every waking moment seemed to be spent with his dick inside of you. The most constant sex he had gotten in his last sexual relationship was perhaps twice a week. Now he had to do it three times a day if he was lucky. It really was like meals.

Not that you'd have any problem getting him up and ready. One moment it feels like the last thing he'd want, and suddenly something would consume him. Your scent, your body, suddenly he was up and at attention. He couldn't help it. You were like an addiction. Perhaps it came with reading his sexual desires. You could always sense what he wanted and how, switching positions without a word and whatnot. You no longer had to tell him what he needed to do, unleashing his innermost desires. Along with your ability to turn him on came the parts of him that were unable to be held back.

It had been only a few days and you two already knew each other's bodies like the back of your hands. So with the whine in your voice and the sudden scent of your arousal, Hoseok knew what was coming.

Both of you, duh.

"Fuck," he groaned, groggy from just waking up. What time was it? 5 AM? "What is it my little slut needs this time?" he questioned, as though he didn't already know from the semi he was beginning to form.

"I want you to fuck me."

Hoseok's hand was quick to latch around your throat, choking you enough where your airflow was cut off immediately. "Who are you to order me around, whore? Last time I checked you weren't the ones who made demands in this relationship."

"S-Sorry. You make the demands," you choke out. "I just follow."

He squeezes harder, enough where your face was beginning to bloom red. He always thought you looked pretty in red. Never would've guessed in this way, before, to be honest. "Oh? I think you're forgetting to address me. Are you so hungry for cock that you've forgotten your manners? Or are you just stupid?"

"Sir! I'm so stupid, sir. So stupid and hungry for your cock. Please fuck your dumb little girl."

"That's my girl," Hoseok purred, rolling over slightly to give you a chaste kiss to the lips as he let go of your throat, letting you breathe once more. "Get me hard and we'll see what we can do about that dick hungry pussy of yours, alright?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," you say obediently, wide awake as you descend down his body to do his bidding. You're quick to get him out of his underwear, seeing as it was the only thing he had on after you knocked him out from last night's boning.

You take his semi-erection into your mouth, careful as you twirl your tongue around the tip, using your hand to pump up and down his shaft. You let your tongue run lower, a trail of saliva along the underside of his length until you were massaging his balls with your tongue, sucking gently on them as you maintained eye contact. Hoseok always had a thing for looking you in the eye for dirty deeds like this. He didn't care who was performing oral on the other; if your eyes were locked it was a turn on guarantee.

Hoseok let out a pleased hum, a sigh of content as he let his hand pet your hair, urging on your ministrations. You moaned around him as you took him a bit deeper, sending vibrations throughout him at the sensation. He cursed, both of you feeling him get fully erect as you continued. 

"You're so good to me. My good girl," Hoseok praised, cupping you by the chin to bring you up for air. You captured his thumb in your mouth, sucking on it and bobbing your head in a familiar fashion to how you sucked his cock earlier, only to emit a groan from him. "Yeah yeah, I know. You want this cock inside that greedy cunt of yours, don't you?"

You hummed, nodding eagerly.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Sit on it if you want it that badly. Ride me good, baby, I'm about to fall asleep. Don't want me to get bored now, do you?" 

"Yes, sir." You were eager, ecstatic as you straddled the man, admiring the sight below you. He was rather stunning, you had to admit. Never in your dirtiest daydreams of him back at the agency could you have imagined the scene before you. Tousled, messed up hair from where you pulled the night before, sticking out from all sides. You distinctly remember it was when he was feasting between your legs, keeping your thighs firmly planted against the mattress as he devoured you whole.

Both of you let out a groan of pleasure as you began to sink down onto him, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of your walls stretching to accommodate him as he filled you completely. You'd never tire of that feeling, no matter how many times he wrecks you. 

Still, despite the fact you were physically on top, Hoseok would never allow it metaphorically. Despite the fact he didn't want to do the work, simply lay back and enjoy to let you have your fun, he couldn't resist. Your warm heat was just all too inviting, beckoning to burrow impossibly deeper into you. 

Digging his heels into the mattress, he bucked his hips into the air, making you stumble as you find purchase on his chest, trying to regain balance. He didn't allow you to get comfortable for long, beginning his relentless pace as he dug his hands into your hips hard enough to bruise, slamming his hips into you. 

"Fuck, fuck, fu-" Your cursing was cut off, one of Hoseok's hands coming up to shove his fingers into your mouth. You looked so dumb at that moment, a dumbfounded look on your face. You wore a blank expression, your mouth filled as you looked at him.

"Nasty girl. Good girls don't curse, do they, Q?" Hoseok asked, shaking your head for you, side to side in an aggressive manner as though to knock some sense into you.

Your eyes rolled back, feeling him reach that special spot inside of you, stimulating the small bundle of nerves that made your toes curl. His hand dragged from your mouth to clasp around your throat, leaving a trail of drool and saliva along the way.

You were getting close, but you needed that extra push. You let out a needy whine, hips bucking against Hoseok as you attempted to grind your throbbing clit against his pelvis.

"Little slut needs to cum, huh?" Hoseok questioned, chuckling darkly.

You wordlessly nodded, mouth agape. You couldn't even speak, lips parted as you just drowned in pleasure, the overcome with how good it felt. 

"You don't get to cum without my permission," Hoseok growled, giving a quick swat to your needy heat.

"Yes, sir!" You gasped out. "Please let me cum?"

"Not until I say so." You bit your lip at that, trying to concentrate at keeping the orgasm at bay. You were right at the edge, and if Hoseok were to grant you mercy, what with even a small rub against your clit, you'd be undone. Instead, you were needlessly dangled over the edge according to your Sir's whims.

Still, from the twitch of him inside you and the small throb, you could tell he was close. His grip around your throat tightened, pace becoming sloppy.

"Oh fuck, god. I'm close," he groaned, a low hiss emitting from between his teeth. His other hand dragged from your hip to rub small circles into your clit. He watched as you became undone, able to feel the vibrations of your moan against the palm of his hand against your throat. You quivered and shook, thighs shaking on either side of him as your cunt spasmed around him. Soon enough he was following after, your orgasm milking him for all he was worth until he was filling you up with more than you could handle. Both of you could feel both his and your liquids spilling over his cock, dribbling over his balls and onto the bed. 

"Fuck, Q, you made a mess of me," he chuckled, letting go of your throat to pet your hair, calming you down from your high. You collapsed onto his chest, both of you breathing heavily.

"Yeah, well I could say the same thing. Just yesterday Jimin commented on the marks from the choking. You're just intent on marking me up, aren't you?" You laughed at that mindlessly sucking on a junction along his collarbone, your heart rate slowing to a more stable rate.

"Says the one that's leaving a hickey on me as we speak," Hoseok teased. "Why don't you shower already? You stink."

"It's your fault!"

"Yeah right. Go ahead. I'm gonna make breakfast. You want some?"

"No way, you burned my eggs last time."

"I was trying to be nice!"

"Nice, but face it, you're a terrible cook. Leave that to Jin."

"Alright alright, I'm heading out before you roast my natural talent any further," Hoseok grumbled. Grabbing some sweats and a t-shirt, he made his way to the kitchen, the only other person there being Namjoon.

"Hey, man," Hoseok greeted, opening a few of the drawers. "Have you seen the frying pan?"

"I think it's in the dishwasher," Namjoon answered, focused on the crossword puzzle before him. "Everyone else is asleep. Not surprised to see you're up already, though."

"I wasn't much of an early bloomer before, to be honest," Hoseok chuckled.

"Had fun with Y/N?"

"Yeah, always do but... It's embarrassing to say, but I feel like my dick's going to fall off."

Namjoon laughed at that. "That often, huh? You two have been going at it like rabbits. We've barely been seeing you two."

"I never thought there was such thing as too much sex," Hoseok said in a disbelieving tone. "Like, typically this would be any man's dream, but it's exhausting, you know?"

"It makes sense why her libido's so high, though," Namjoon admits. "I mean, think about the last time she even had her strength. Way back at the incident, when we met Jashwi. Now imagine you haven't eaten any in all that time. Of course you'd try to eat as much as you can to make up for what you had lost. And there's no doubt it's working."

"Will it always be this way?"

"Well, there are two scenarios. The first is that once she's had her fill, it'll go to a more normal, reasonable schedule. The second is that it'll always be that way. You do have to consider it like meals for her in a sense. We typically have three meals a day, so it's the same for her."

"I'm serious when I say I think my dick's going to fall off," Hoseok groaned. "Don't get me wrong, it's great. Kind of weird, actually, how good it is. Like, the first time we did it, before we even started she just stared at me for a minute and told me exactly what to do. It was like something unlocked."

"Like new skin in Fortnite or something?"

"Fuck off, man, everyone's back on Minecraft's dick."

"Right, right, my bad. And perhaps her sexual intuition and perception are simply what comes along with it."

"Advice?"

Namjoon pondered for a moment. "There's really only one solution. You'll have to get another guy to feed her."

"What makes you think any of the other guys could handle her libido any better than I can?"

"That's not what I'm suggesting. I mean the two of you share her. If she's too much for one man, maybe she's enough for two. That is if you're both comfortable with the concept."

"Huh, didn't think of it like that," Hoseok admitted. "Do you think everyone would be ok with that?"

"A polyamorous, sexual relationship?" Namjoon questioned, quirking a brow. "I think so. Every man here has expressed at the very least sexual desire for Agent Q, and so far everyone's done well enough to be ok with the concept of you screwing her. If they can get some as well I'm sure there'd be no complaints. More efficient, anyway. Besides there's no actual risk, seeing as everyone's clean and there's no risk of pregnancy."

"What about Y/N?"

"You'd have to be the one to talk about it to her," Namjoon shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe she's got her own fantasy about being passed around seven guys."

"I think we'll just start with two for now."

"Good idea."

-

You nuzzle into Hoseok's side, your hand slowly creeping up his inner thigh. He let out a groan, suppressing it as he catches your hand. 

You look up at him, confused. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, it's just..." Hoseok tries to figure out how he wants to phrase it but ultimately decides to be honest. "I don't think I can keep up at this rate, having sex as often as we do, I mean."

"Oh, I understand. I'm sorry, I should've put your feelings into consideration more. After all, your libido is normal," you say, retracting your hand. "I'll be able to hold off for a few days and give you time to rest."

"No, I don't want you to do that. You need to get your strength back completely and keep it there. You can't do that if you starve yourself."

"Well, what do you suggest?"

"Well, do you think you'd be open to introducing someone else into this as well? It might be easier if you feed on two guys."

"That's a good idea... are you ok with that, though? And would the other guy be? I know it's not like most polyamorous relationships, but sharing isn't exactly common."

"Look, I'd be completely fine with it. Your health is most important to me, and I'm a grown man, I can contain any jealousy as long as there's communication. Besides, you admitted it wasn't like most polyamorous relationships- this is strictly sexual and for your benefit. I don't doubt that whoever you pick will have the same mindset. You have six to choose from anyway."

"I don't want to choose, though. You know all of you are equal to me," you pout. Your eyes light up suddenly. "I know! We'll do the same thing we did last time, with the cards! But this time I want to watch."

"What? Are you sure? Won't that be kinda weird, since what they're essentially gambling for is you?"

"I know none of you think of me as some prize to be won. Besides, I think it'd be interesting. It's better than me anxiously waiting by myself for the results. Who came in second place last time, anyway?"

Hoseok thought for a moment. "I think that was Namjoon."

"Oooh, I wouldn't mind Namjoon. I wonder if he'd spit about the trade bonds between elves and vampires during the act."

"Dear God, I don't want to think about that," he groaned.

"And the fairies are in- in charge of," you panted, "in charge of STEEL!" You bucked your hips in the air, rolling your eyes back in lieu of an orgasm.

"You better hope that I don't tell him about this."

"Why not? I'll do it in front of him! Anyways, let's start the card game, I'm starving already."

-

You assumed the guys would play a game like Poker or something that could be played in a casino. You could see it already- the fancy Versace suits and the red and black, surrounding a table as they throw chips mindlessly on the table as though it were nothing.

Instead, it was six dorks in sweatpants surrounding a coffee table and playing Go Fish.

It was Jungkook's choice, seeing as he was the one with the cards. Oddly enough someone had to explain the rules to Jin. Fucking numbnuts.

"So, Agent P, got any sevens?" Jungkook questions, keeping his cards close to his face, glaring at Jimin from above.

Jimin only revealed a smug smirk. "Go fish, bitch."

"Fuck you!" Jungkook said. "You and your Agent Perry looking ass."

"Hey, look, that's why I chose it! It was between that, S, and E!"

"Perrry, perrry the platypussss," you sing under your breath from your spot beside Hoseok.

"I did always find it a bit funny that you chose that letter of all of them," Namjoon admitted as he stared disappointed at the two pairs he had. 

"I loved that show as a kid, I thought it was cool," Jimin admitted. "The platypus was my favorite character."

"Well, I think I can add another nickname to the list, Perry," you chuckle, poking your elbow into Hoseok's ribcage to elicit a laugh.

"You can call him Agent P," Hoseok jokes back.

"When you think about it there's a lot of things that can go with P," Jin comments. "Penis, pussy, Perry-"

"Pee and poo," Taehyung adds.

"Thanks, Agent V, for your contribution."

You bury your face in your hands. "I can't believe I'm going to sleep with one of you."

"Who knows? With your libido you might have to hump your way through the list," Yoongi adds, turning to Jimin. "You don't have any sevens, but got any twos?"

"It's not your turn, yet! Besides, don't phrase it like that," Jimin scowls.

"You're just saying that because you've got twos. Cough them up."

"I think it'd be best to stick to two for now and then work our way up. I don't want to be overwhelmed with dicks. This isn't Omegle," you comment. 

"God, that scarred me when I was younger," Jungkook says. "Jimin, it's your turn, are you going to make a move or what?"

"Well, Yoongi, got any twos?" Jimin questions.

"Fuck you man, I knew you had them," Yoongi says before tossing one over.

"Jungkook, you're still such a baby! A youngin who's growing so much!" you coo, reaching over to comb your fingers through his hair.

"I'm 21! I can drink in like every country! Besides, I don't think you want to go on about how young I am, considering I might have my dick down your throat at some point."

"As if, you're a total baby boy," you joke.

"We'll see about that," he growls beneath his breath.

"Hold it there, Agent Z. You're nowhere close to winning," Namjoon reminds him. It was right. He was in fourth place, with both Namjoon and Jin behind him. "I would've thought you'd be good at this game since you suggested it."

"It has nothing to do with skill! Next time we're playing BS," he grumbles.

Yoongi turns to Jin, "Got any Queens?"

"I got one on the couch," Jin says, tossing his head over to you.

"This is why you're in last place," you reply.

"Darn. B, got any Kings?"

"Dammit," Namjoon mutters, tossing over the king card, his last one.

"See! Now I'm tied with Namjoon," Jin gloats.  "Taehyung, any threes?"

"Go fish. Any Jacks?"

"That was my last one too!"

"Looks like you're out of the running then," Taehyung grins. "Perry, any fives? And sixes and while you're at it."

"Fuck you," Jimin hisses, giving the rest of his cards. "I was at the top too."

"You're not a top period," Taehyung fired back, chuckling. He looks over to Yoongi. "Aces?"

Yoongi hands over his second to last card, quirking a brow. "You're intent on winning this, aren't you?"

Taehyung's cheeks flush red, and you feel a bit of sympathy. "Well," you add, "you don't seem as though you're intent on losing."

"Didn't you know I was naturally competitive?" he quips back.

"Eights?" Taehyung asks Jungkook. 

Jungkook hands them over, a frustrated look on his face. "Are you cheating or something?" he asks, skeptical.

"No. Unlike you barbarians, I know how to pay attention," Taehyung says smugly. "And I'm guessing you've got a three to go along with that accusation?"

Jungkook coughs it up, groaning as he's out of the game. "Fuck, man! You've got to be shitting me.

"Yeah, and for all you know, some of us have ADHD or ADD," Hoseok adds.

"Alright, and for my final trick, I'm going to guess what everyone else has! All that's left are Namjoon and Yoongi's cards." Taehyung rubs at his temples, scrunching up his face as he makes a big show of it. "Good sir, I believe you have a two," he says, pointing at Yoongi, before reverting it to Namjoon. "And you have nine!"

Both toss their cards onto the coffee table, revealing to the room that Taehyung's magical predictions were indeed correct. Everyone was aghast, and for a moment you did feel as though you were in a casino, seeing men weep tears of both happiness and joy. 

Jungkook grabbed Taehyung into a light chokehold, running his knuckles along the older man's head as he roughhoused with him. "You bastard, you absolute bastard! You've got to be cheating!"

"I'm sorry I'm the only person who was focused on the game and not on Y/N's rack," he squeaked out.

"Damn, I thought they were distracting enough for at least seven men," you sighed.

"Don't worry,  babe, they're plenty distracting to me," Hoseok says, placing his arm around your shoulders.

"You've seen them!"

"So has Jimin, what's your point?"

"They're delightful, by the way," Jimin adds in.

"Well you've currently got a view straight down into the valley of betrayal."

"No one can help that you're a shortie amongst us, Q," Hoseok laughs.

"Fuck you!"

"You already have!" Hoseok quips.  "Multiple times, in fact." He looks over to Taehyung, who was gasping for breath once Jungkook had finally let him go. "Congrats on becoming an official member of Y/N's reverse harem, V."

"I thought we already were that as potential 'lovers'," the man gasped out.

"Yeah, but as I said, official," Hoseok grinned, reaching over to shake the boy's shoulders playfully, as though to knock sense or emphasis into him. 

"That's right Tae, you've won the grand prize from our show! An endless amount of pussy!" You launch yourself at him, embracing him in a bear hug. "And what a show you put on!"

"I'm not sure if you two are making this less or more weird," Taehyung grumbles, his breath once again taken from him due to the tightness of your grip.

"Weirder. Definitely weirder," Yoongi offers.

"You know those lifetime amounts that they offer though on TV shows aren't really infinite, though," Jin adds. "There's like this whole subreddit dedicated on it."

"That's why I said endless, not lifetime," you huff. "Besides, how's it rigged? Do they only send like a year's supply or do they kill the winner off?"

"Dear God, can we ever stay on track for a conversation?" Namjoon grumbled. "Maybe some of us do have ADD or ADHD."

"Wouldn't that show up in our records?" Jungkook questioned.

"Nah, you know how companies and society is. Mental illnesses aren't taken as seriously as physical ones. But there is some improvement on that as of late," Namjoon notes. 

"Does this mean we'll have to play cards any time we want to get laid?" Jimin questioned.

"Don't worry, Jimin, I'm more than happy to dick you down again," Yoongi offers.