#god forbid I make smth serious

[mushroompoisoning]

hey mechs fandom! guess who's back

[spotaus]

Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)

This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)

1) Night and Cross!

Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3

2) Error and Night's Meeting!

Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)

3) Dream and Blue designs!

I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.

Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)

4) Horror and Dust designs!

Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)

These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)

[woodsborostabathon]

will never understand how anyone could seriously hate vince. like if u do not find him fine as hell even tho he is. how can u not at least find it a lil bit Funny that this man fumbled his bitch so bad that he was resorting to pulling up outside her school in the middle of the afternoon in his purple 1971 dodge charger. parking within her line of sight. then just leaning on the whip and serving face for a few mins before dipping. nary a word spoken just there for the love of the game and to remind liv that he exists n still wants her sooooo bad 😭

[damnfandomproblems]

5844

This may not be what op was trying to talk about but this reminds me of something weird I’ve seen on Twitter, Tumblr, and Tik Tok(the Trifecta, if you will) where fandom spaces and creators will treat m/m and w/w ships and headcanons as “automatically superior” in every way to m/w stuff.

And if you want to ship a man and a woman together then the ship HAS to be extremely well founded in canon or clever in order to justify liking it, when m/m and w/w stuff doesn’t need to be justified or held to this higher standard in the same way.

Specifically, I’m talking about stuff like “not even yuri can save this” or “hetero ship so good it’s basically yaoi” etc. which I know are just jokes and are ultimately harmless but still rub me the wrong way since I’ve seen some people be actually serious about this kind of thing and truly believe it.

To be clear, I’m not trying to say that these people are heterophobic or smth, just that they’re turning “being gay” into this special little trait they can apply to characters that immediately makes their interpretation head and shoulders above anyone else’s who is bi or, god forbid, implicitly straight.

It reminds me of those people who pretended to have certain disabilities like Tourette’s or DID cause they thought being mentally ill or disabled was some cool trait they could pretend to be to make themselves more unique and not just a thing some people have and struggle with. Except it’s queer people doing it to themselves.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[skitskatdacat63]

For @sansebastinae and @boisinnot, my fellow saint seb truthers :)

+ the usual

Yayyyy finished a drawing! Haha only took me...2 weeks. I kept going back and forth on whether I could finish it tonight, and I really wasn't going to. But then I looked at the unfinished version on a different screen and was like oh? Not too bad actually?? So I finished it :) First of all, ofc, here is the process. Kinda weird seeing it for smth like this, it makes me feel like I'm the painter in rennaisance au, not Mark dhjfkf

Ah I was gonna draw a silly renaissance au comic to accompany this(read: lighten the mood), but it's 5 am and I've still not really drafted it well, so! I'd like to finish it at some point bcs I wanna draw more chibi comics, but when I finish smth, I can't help but immediately want to post it, so part 2 will have to wait. I'll show you the outline though so you can at least imagine 😭

^ So many renaissance and beyond paintings of Saint Sebastian are always the most horny thing ever. Like pre/early rennaisance, yeah he was naked and all that, but they were pretty chaste, and uhhhhh suffering?? Well the newer paintings are suffering, but in a different way, if you know what I mean.

So I feel like Mark's the type to be overly pedantic about it, and refuses to make borderline porn of a saint, I mean, god forbid, Seb!!! But then he just. Does anyways. Because he can't control his lust for Seb even when drawing him half dead. I just imagine him holding the paintbrush in a death grip like "must not be horny. Must not draw him sexy. Must make him chaste." And then he ends up with the one seen above. Seb is all smug about it. "Wow you'd wanna fuck me even while I'm all bloody and dying? 🥺"

Mark: "oh I'll make you bloody, alright."

But god so funny to imagine Seb doing all these different slutty poses, like arching his back as much as possible, the cloth nearly falling off at all times, etc etc. And Mark finally lands on this pose bcs he hopes the suffering will outweigh the horny. It doesn't. Also Seb is genuinely serious once he actually gets into the pose, focus mode on. And honestly that's even worse for Mark, bcs it's so much more arousing to see Seb in his element, focused. Tbf I think Seb could be drinking water, and Mark would still find some way to sexualize it. Don't look at his sketches!! They're just filled with Seb doing all kinds of random activities.

Also! Here is the painting I referenced this off of, must give credit where credit is due ofc

The Dying St. Sebastian by François Fabre

Also this isn't really relevant in the context of this drawing specifically. But I looked thru a bunch of Saint Sebastian paintings while trying to find one I could reference, and I came across this middle ages one that actually looks so much like boy king seb 😭 I guess it really is meant to be!

St Sebastian between St Roch and St Peter by Pietro Perugino

Lmao but do you see the difference between early rennaisance and later work???

[fandomstickyy]

You never thought you'd love like this

Fluff

----------------------------

The faint buzz of rain tapped through the window. The wear of your pajamas is on the shabby side. Loose threads peak from cotton shorts under his shirt, baggy and long on your form. You do give it back every now and then because he loves that shirt too. The view of someone he loves wear and parade around in something he loves- something that belongs to him trumps whatever need for a shirt at all. Who needs clothes he can give them all to you if it means you'll be marked by his scent.

Besides you is a man. A man that never fails to make you feel understood and loved. It's like this man gets high off connection or smth because the way he looks at you... damn it can make you dizzy. He thinks you're so beautiful. 'Easy competition for Aphrodite'. He is love sick for sure. In this moment of the rain falling, snuggled up on the couch watching a movie on your guys' 'must watch together list' you can't help but look up at him, collecting every ounce of his beauty and essence you can hold onto when morning comes and he has to go to work. Just the thought makes you hold him tighter.

You hadn't seen him in what felt like too long. A couple of days- a week, it doesn't matter. The bed has been dull without his soft snoring, lulling you to sleep. His strong body seemed too big in your bed. It was almost comical at the way yall had to twist and turn in the full sized mattress just to sleep comfortably. If it wasn't for him clutching you in his arms you might just up and fall out of bed. His legs are messy. Either intertwined with yours or spread out in all sorts of angels. If his arms are not wrapped around you he always makes sure you guys are touching in some way. A hand on the arm or on your heartbeat. God forbid if you want a late night snack, this man will follow the trail of your beautiful smell to whatever room you found yourself after hours. And if you REALLY want some alone time, he'll squeeze you tight by the arm, hand, hug, thighs it don't matter. (He just wants to remind himself that you'll come back. Please squeeze him back!)

Baby has a really hard time falling asleep knowing you're in the other room. That all separating you two is a couple walls and your desire for late night ice cream. Walking back into your shared bedroom your heart jumps at the sight. His head deeply snuggled into your designated pillow, you pad over getlntly not to wake him. He's always beautiful when he sleeps. His cheeks are soft and his eyebrows twitch a little when dreaming.

You two finally had a day where you were both off work. The night prior your phone held onto messages of love and longing.

Sleep well baby, I want you nice and well rested for our day together tmr <3.

Saccharine goo poured from the two of you whenever the other is involved. You don't remember when you got so whipped but in the swell of thoughts you have about him, regret of love ceases to show.

Your friends gushed when they met him for the first time. The next time you saw them, the first discussion was about if you guys said the 'big 3 words'.

"What?! We're not that serious..he's just a cool guy. Don't get so caught up. If it goes somewhere it does, if it don't it dont." You almost couldn't contain your smile. You shrugged them off then, but so much has changed. You can no longer hold those statements as truth. Too many memories have been made. You know he sleeps with his socks on or how he chews ice when he's really nervous. You know his favorite pastry always brightens his day because of a one off memory in his childhood. You two care too much about each other for this to be anything but casual. You were love sick too, it's true.

"Y-youre making me nervous there"

Lost in thought you hardly heard the fade in to his voice. The rasp of his voice settled in your ears. He's so cute like this. The soft glow of the movie playing. Hair messy, remnants of your handcrafted braids floating about his hair, peaking out at the tilt of his head. Oh, wait! He's staring at you-

"Huh?" Cheeks heating up, unable to hold back a toothy smile. His chest bounced lightly in laughter, shifting you slightly.

Gesturing towards the tv, "I'm trying to watch this movie my love has been waiting and waiting to watch," when he turns to look at you there's a pause, "and you...."

"And I..what?" Things were different now. There's home in his eyes. You hang off every word, every facial shift. It's deeply ingrained in the way you move. The way you talk to strangers. The way you look yourself in the mirror is different now. All your features are the same, but your heart is filled with his. All the things you ached away from about yourself beam with a desire to be loved. Your stretchmarks, he's traced so delicately. Your belly, he's slept on so gently. And your scars, he's kissed so lovingly. You never thought you'd love like this.

"God.. what I would do without you I hope I never know." The glow of the movie long forgotten shines on his reddened cheeks as he tries to bury a complicated smile. A smile that says 'I love you, please don't leave.' You can only hope he knows your smile says the same.

----------------------

KIRISHIMA, Denki, Sero, Hawks, BOKUTO, itadori

(Anyone you thought I missed 👀? I left it pretty vague this time)

---------------------

Au: wow haven't written fan related content or at all really in so long! Tell me what you think xx

What would be on your 'must watch together list' ?? I think mine would be Black Swan, a Twilight movie bc slay, and a horror movie bc I'm too scared to watch them by myself 😭

[waylibee-analysis-firm]

mustang theory (ch09)

guys im being so serious rn. im so scared to post this. but bee is being wonderfully supportive (as usual <3) and i am going to be. so very Brave. this may not be coherent, but...i hope it makes some sort of sense ok. anyways here is the theory for ch09:

mike and will leave the camp dance early bc of Bad Memories and/or they would rather just be making out (which is. fair) 

(fearless lore is referenced throughout but also will be theorized/posted about separately) 

this would be proven by the references to wish you were sober by conan gray (yes ik it’s not in relation to ch09 but. this part Could Happen at the end of ch08…just saying). 

this specific theory is fueled by the weird eureka moment i had regarding this post. is this a reach? yes. do i fucking care? no.

they take mike’s car, despite will’s grumblings abt his stupid fucking mustang.

ch01 im staring. Directly at you. shut up. shut up. i hear what you’re saying and i just can’t listen right now okay. ch01 we’ll get back to you i prommy

“Also, God forbid I have to leave the grounds in Mike Wheeler’s stupid fucking Mustang more than once this summer," he adds, nearly spitting. (ch01)

need i say more.

also this would totally be building more on their trust....plus probably some references from follow the sparks that i don't know off the top of my head

also could have been foreshadowed by ch02…when will refused to get into mike’s stupid. fucking. mustang. just saying….

ch02 is also biggest fearless lore references we have that i can think of but that is for another time

“Don’t tell me you’re driving that thing,” Will scoffs, eyeing Mike’s car in trepidation, eyes sweeping along the length of the racing stripes. (ch02)

...forcing Will to declare a lesser of two evils: throwing dignity to the wind and accepting a ride in the Mustang — the undeserving bane of Will’s existence...(ch02)

CAR EMOJI !!!!

this chapter is “thea’s baby”. well thea is also the resident car expert.

im literally so funny for this sorry not sorry im cracking myself up ->

either something happens between them and they end up pulled over OR something happens to the stupid fucking mustang

THIS could be that one post thea made…which could have been totally innocent OR it could have been COMPLETELY SINISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OUT TO GET US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! putting on my tinfoil hat

smth happens between them...backseat driver will (mentioned in ch02) as well as the stupid. FUCKING how to drive manual that's been driving me INSANE the past couple of days (found here.)

side note: thea i love you but you are driving me Bonkers (mwah <3)

alternative to the above point is that mike pulls over to 1) make out with will (again. which is again. fair.) 2) chat with will about what they Are

option 2) would require some sort of shift in their relationship/situationship beforehand…im thinking this could mean you know that i caught it could take place BEFORE or DURING ch9… this could be the They Know motif coming to a head (meaning everybody. they Know for real this time. and now mike’s confused about it. “what are we?” talk from ch05 but times a million)

“save me ‘till the party’s over/kiss me in the seat of your rover”

^^ regarding this. i wrote all of this before i rediscovered that wish u were sober has nothing to do with ch09 (supposedly). im just too lazy to change it bear with me please.

will gets mad at mike for some reason?

if the original point made (something happens to the stupid fucking mustang) ends up happening, this could be will’s breaking point bc he’s overwhelmed and panicked and stuff is happening too fast for him

ch09 is a will pov chapter.

also frustrated crier (some ask about ch04 that i need to find to link before this gets posted)…just saying.

will gets mad at mike continued and reverts back to his I Need to Hurt You phase bc it’s safe and he doesn’t know how to handle the UNDOUBTEDLY romantic feelings n thoughts he’s having about mike…

he’s scared of getting hurt again like he was with derek and he’s scared of the unfamiliar territory that comes with being nice to mike/having mike be nice in return

This type of gentleness is certainly a facet of Will that Mike has known, having seen it more than a handful of times over the years, but it’s not quite one he’s accustomed to. (ch06)

this ^^ goes both ways i assume...there's gotta be evidence abt it in a will pov chapter but i am. exhausted.

he lashes out at mike that they aren’t anything, they’re just a casual fwb situationship, etc. 

wow would you look at that…this is paralleling the fearless lore theory…

cue "straight up" by paula abdul for mike pov (i've been a fool before/wouldn't like to get my love caught in the slammin' door/how about some information, please? // straight up now tell me/do you really want to love me forever oh, oh, oh/or am I caught in a hit-and-run?/straight up now tell me/is it gonna be you and me together oh, oh, oh/or are you just having fun?)

“Hit-and-run” CAR IMAGERY ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

"straight up" by paula abdul is on mike's driving playlist and i've been going insane about it since i saw it. btw. i love this song.

mike's unsure abt what they Are/what will is thinking so he reverts to the childish fighting thing too...pushing will's buttons is second nature for him by this point...evidence for this in a mike pov i will find later prommy

this is also wish you were sober coded “trip down the road, walking you home/you kiss me at your door/pullin’ me close, beg me ‘stay over’/but im over this roller coaster/imma crawl out of the window now/gotten good at saying ‘gotta bounce’/honestly you always let me down/and i know we’re not just hanging out”

first half here. could be about how mike is begging will for a relationship. but will is “over the rollercoaster” and the push and pull of their friendship to rivalry to fwb situation. 

second half here. will’s metaphorically leaving mike (crawling out the window). he’s “gotten good at saying ‘gotta bounce’” bc he’s done this to mike Before when they kissed when they were thirteen…i Think (fearless lore theory). “honestly you always let me down” could be a reference to. will being angry with mike for not just being happy with their fwb, even though he wants more too? “i know we’re not just hanging out” come ON this is will saying he KNOWS THEY CANT JUST BE CASUAL. HE LITERALLY SAYS THIS IN CH05 I BELIEVE. OR MIKE DOES IN CH06. THEY CAN’T BE ANYTHING BUT EACH OTHERS EVERYTHING. 

^^ literally kill me now i can't believe none of this is related. curling up into a little ball and sobbing.

this would be the beginning of the Angst that’s a 3-4 on a scale of 10 bc we know they're both idiots just miscommunicating But. hey.

so that's uh. that's the outline of the Theory we currently have...it's our most fleshed out one rn fs but there are a few Others that were referenced here that we need some more information on...

anyways. thanks for being insane with us. <3

[duckduckngoose]

Anyways here is the tierlist. All of these are purely subjective blah blah blah.

Anyways reasons for rankings below cut. For if anyone wants those. The rambling is mostly bc I like rambling

Very high recommend tier

The adventure zone Balance & Ethersea

Both have a very high ranking because some of the scenes/monologues/whatstheword have stayed with me throughout the years. (Not all exits are made equal/Our bodies are choirs/Etc.)

Additionally have high ranking for great comedy and just. Being such a favorite podcast of mine frfr.

Largest flaw is the length. It's hard to recommend 30+ (or god forbid 60+) episode long podcasts with each ep being an hour to IRLs. Still I would barely recommend anything to IRLs so it's still on the top of the list

Balance:s story and themes are AMAZING. Etherseas worldbuilding is fucking splendid and ohstansimal and

Also ranks high to my personal attachment to the podcast. It truly helped me through some tough times

Dungeon Meshi

C'mon. Don't act like it hasn't taken over everyone's dashes at this point.

Really great comedy, and I really enjoy the anime. The manga is also amazing and the story is *cheffs kiss*. Really interesting themes.

Would recommend to some IRLs. The cool ones will watch it all the way through and the more weary ones won't get to the necromancy anyways

Great fantasy worldbuilding

The Forgetmenauts

Their music is so good. No other notes. Go listen to the Forgetmenauts. RIGHT!!!! NAUWWWW!!!!

High recommend tier

The adventure zone: Amnesty and Graduation

Lower tier than it's siblings due to the fact neither of those sticked with me the same way.

Their still both great in their own right though and an amazing watch. Graduations chaos and order conflict will always stick with me, and so will Duck's onion soup monologue and 'Believe it or not, but.." (ok I forgot the rest but when. They talk to pidgeon. Yeah.)

The Magnus archives

Just a good horror podcast. Not a lot to say ab it

The Mechanisms

Great band with lots of interesting lore

Ranked lower than the Forgetmenauts purely because how complicated the lore can be and how it can be hard to properly get into without a guide of some sorts

Reccomend

Malevolent

Very fun podcast, I think it's characters and their relationships are it's strongest part.

Kinda akward to reccomend to family because all of the whimpering. Personally listen to this with headphones on when at home bc it sounds concerning our of context

Personally do not care much for the mystery and grander plot of the podcast, and is reccomend it for pretty much the characters alone

Camp here and there

Fun! Not a lot of notes here. I actually never listened to this podcast and just read the transcripts bc I didn't have the attention span

Wolf 369 (or 359?)

Hineslty almost ended up in the depends list but that is more personally opinion that recommendation

Solid science fiction podcast

Hatchetfield

Fun series of musicals and Webseries. Most premises are absolutely ridiculous but the implications behind them are what makes it so interesting

The lore is a tad hard to get into. Also long. 3 musicals + 2 seasons of nightmare time are truly smth.

Depends

Dungeons and daddies

Would not reccomend bc the title is akward to say in public.

On a more serious note like. Id definelt reccomend s1 to people as it is really fun but s2 more ..ehhhhh.

S2 has lots of flaws and personally I did not like the ending etc etc which turn me off from recommending it. But I think I just noticed the flaws very strongly bc I'm very passionate ab jt and I want it to be better bc THE POTENTIAL IS THERE AAA

Ok but genuinely even for it's flaws the themes of this podcast are really interesting, and all the characters are very charming and interesting. I love the way they develop over the course of the story.

Would not reccomend

Dreamp smp

Ranked so low purely because. All the controversy. This fandom is very hated from the outside and there is so much infighting

Also because out of all of these, catching up to the DSMP lore would be the most time consuming and difficult considering how much of it consists out of 3+ hour long streams made by 15+ creators spanning over 2-3 years and-

Story is a bit of a mess.

Still think DSMP is fun though. But I absolutely would not reccomend it. Very much 'you had to be there: expierence. Was it good? Eh. Was it awful? Eh. Was it bouncing between the two rapidly? Yeah.

Sander sides

Ranked low bc. I was into this when I was 13jsh qmand now looking back-

Also bc the dubiousity on if it's ever getting continued

Still a fun series though. Definitely a marker of my childhood but I'd not reccomend it to other people dkfkf

Ah yes I love spending an hour ranking all my interests both by numbers (with commentary) and in a tier list (without commentary) based on if I'd actually recommend them to people instead of sleeping. Even though I would never even show this list to anyone

[recklessmoss]

Not to be like "tee hee I don't do that~" but whenever I butcher something in any language (English included) I'm just like "I probably butchered that, and I'm so sorry" and I think a lot of native English speakers need that attitude more and fix it as opposed to being like "Whoops~" because that makes me so mad

honestly yes, the main thing that bothers me about it is the very lack of trying and also most people having the "haha words in a different language look and sound funny" attitude, it puts me off,,, because obviously language is different everywhere for everyone and some people are not gonna be able to articulate words and sounds of specific languages,,,, i get that,, but if you think you're funny solely cause you are not even gonna try well bUDDY i have news for u.

[isa-ghost]

The longer I think about it the more I think I'm definitely some degree of autistic but I don't want to Say So and not Know for sure because I feel out of place speaking on autistic issues, and while I don't need to Prove to anyone I'm autistic, the internet just Be Like That and I also want undeniable proof for myself if that makes sense.

But like

Sensory sensitivity, ESPECIALLY with hearing and somewhat to sight. Touch but ONLY around my thighs which makes clothes shopping Really Fucking Inconvenient because god forbid a woman doesn't wear smth that shows off her every curve and sticks to her figure. I absolutely HAVE to have specific hearing conditions (my digital audio needs to sound a specific way), I get anxiety attacks about my sight worsening, I literally cannot STAND jeans or leggings or anything that clings to me from the waist down aside from socks.

Weird not quite apathy but definite emotional Weirdness where I just. Don't feel things intensely or literally can't process things that should evoke specific emotions. I'm really weird about grief and have only cried over losing pets basically. When I was younger (and even present day somewhat) I didn't realize how serious some things like r*pe are

I stim and Might have small tics on occasions or when stressed. But this could definitely be ADHD brand stimming

I was one of those gifted kids that excelled early but now I'm So Over School and want to be DONE with it. I wouldn't call it burnout but I'm definitely not the star student anymore nor did I want anything to do with fancy higher ed programs. I was eligible to skip kindergarten but my parents kept me with kids my age

This isn't a symptom but literally from 1st grade to the end of high school I was always naturally drawn to befriend the "special education" kids and kids who needed assistants to help them out which is kinda. Huh.

I could probably pick out some hyperfixations that might actually be special interests. I'm not actually sure if there's a difference between the two but my brain definitely perceives them as different things

There's days where I FEEL how neurodivergent I am in public. I just stick out So Badly and I don't think I'd feel this if I was just having Ha Ha Ay Dee Ayche Dee moments. I just can't describe this self awareness but I can just Tell I'm not "normal" yknow??

Speaking of, I'm incredibly self aware but also an oblivious dumbfuck at the same time

Occasionally I have a hard time empathizing with people, mostly about things I have 0 sensitivity to like certain triggers or topics

I overshare a lot without meaning to. Which could be an ADHD thing but I know this is another sorta overlappy thing with autism

Certain forms of change make me sick to my stomach and spike my anxiety. Especially if they're changes I have no control over or can't fix. My laptop has to work the way I'm used to, my glasses have to be a certain way (I went INSANE for MONTHS about getting new lenses and having light reflections I couldn't get rid of in them that weren't in my previous ones)

I have that cursed desperation to overexplain and overclarify myself about practically everything, especially to strangers (and online where nobody has decent reading comprehension) I can't tell if this is another ADHD overlap thing, a result of my emotionally abusive father being a bitch, or another red flag that I'm autistic

Sometimes I have auditory processing issues where I cannot for the life of me understand what someone said to me. Sometimes I have to rewatch the entirety of a series of media to understand certain parts I didn't process the first time be it because I didn't connect dots or didn't understand them right

There's probably more things I haven't thought of that might also point to autism but like. This is already quite a list as it is. Oh god.

[pfreadsandwrites]

I would love to request smth for your 100 follower celebration 🥰 It’s so hard to decide which prompt to choose but since I’m a sucker for some good ol‘ fluff: 77: “ Are you jealous? ” and 54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ”. I don’t know if two prompts make it easier or harder to write smth, I hope this is ok 😅

100 follower celebration

Yet again, I am super sorry for the delay in this. Just, the weird cold i’ve had the past few days, the last one I did hardly being read, creativity, writer’s block, etc but I really hope you enjoy this @praisingkuroosbedhead !! Thank you so much for the support you’ve shown me up until now and i just realised your icon is Bisuke... I love... Also yeah i struggled a little a lot, just because I don’t think Kakashi would show his jealousy in a very obvious way, the second prompt would usually come after something kinda serious like an argument, so Kakashi having a moment of actually showing anger in his jealousy (which is what would realistically lead into the second prompt)... So i had like 3 or 4 different outlines that were way too complicated so i found this very difficult. It was nothing to do with your request though, my brain is just... empty... . I still don’t know if this one’s any good though, think i thought about it too much which made for worse writing but i still hope you enjoy! 

warnings: jealousy (duh), slight arguments, and resolution, fluff, reader being a dumbdumb, Kakashi being a dumbdumb too i guess but he’s mostly just grumpy this time, not proofread cuz my brain has gone on strike, 2.5k

taglist: @madaras-housewife @datblobbyfish @praisingkuroosbedhead @allthingskakashi @enchantedpendant @ibukiirisha @cinam00n @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @tachibrii @drunkenfists

sidenote: if anyone on my taglist could confirm they got the notification for this that would be interesting to know, but then it’s not like i can do anything about it lol.it would be cool if this showed in tumblr’s tags but i’m not holding out much hope. 

77. “Are you jealous?” / 54. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

It’d only lasted a second, but you could have sworn you’d seen it.

No. Though you had no proof before you, you knew you’d seen it. You saw his fist clench - just for a moment - then his strong fingers uncurled, as if regaining composure. His eyebrows knitted to a point, furrowing nicely in that way you always found so attractive, but even that was quickly replaced with that familiar, relaxed gaze you were also charmed by. Even if you were a little disappointed to see it so soon.

But when you looked again, Kakashi had disappeared from the spot he’d occupied most of the night - leaning back with one foot against the wall, arms crossed as he pretended to read that stupid book of his.

Could he have straight up teleported out of there, sick of this party, your shenanigans or both? You had to admit, you didn’t put it past him. But before you had the opportunity to explore your suspicions, a louder, less familiar voice reclaimed your thoughts.

So, reluctantly, you shifted your attention back to the drink you’d been working on and the man in front of you. You hadn’t led him on - unless repeatedly mentioning your complete lack of availability fell under that category - but Kakashi didn’t know that. And though his apparent inability to take a hint was beginning to grate on you, you had to admit that it served nicely for something else. Nothing noble - namely, eliciting a damn reaction out of your frustratingly stoic boyfriend - but it seemed effective nonetheless.

Not that it had stopped the pang of guilt creeping up from the pit of your stomach to your pounding chest. Though you were willing to deny your principles, even if only slightly, you really hadn’t meant to upset him.

But you were no fool, either.

You knew exactly what you were doing tonight.

You knew why you had come out, why you had chosen this dress, and why you had asked that Kakashi come along tonight.

At first, he had refused dismissively. Like he tended to do these days. But when he saw that you were set on going, with or without him, dressed like that - he suddenly decided that he ‘would tag along for a bit if you absolutely insisted’. You had smirked, amused at how he feigned like you were forcing him, but didn’t challenge him. 

You knew just how immature you were being. You were sure Kakashi did too, but it was very nice of him to let himself be swayed despite that, just this once.

But it was the best you could do, considering the circumstances. Every date he had to cancel, every night he came back after you went to bed and every morning he was gone before you woke up - you were at your limit.

You were willing to get his attention in any way you could.

The fact that he was currently out of sight was a mild dampener on your plan, but no matter - surely it was a sign that you’d succeeded, albeit a small one.

It was big enough for you to decide to find him, anyway. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d even manage to actually talk to him about everything bothering you. Imagine that, an honest-to-God conversation! You didn’t think you were being too optimistic.

You made to slip away from the stranger attempting to retain monopoly on your attention as politely as possible. Unfortunately, his alcohol-fuelled indignation appeared to have got the best of him, and he grabbed your wrist, holding you firmly in place. You tensed, but your pleasant smile barely had the chance to transform before you felt another hand on you. On your shoulder, this time, but it was familiar.

“Hey Y/N.”

Kakashi’s nonchalant voice alone quelled that surge of anger and fear that had been bubbling beneath you. When you looked up at him, your shoulders relaxed involuntarily. Not that you had needed him exactly. You could handle an overzealous drunk at the very least, but he had that knack for allowing you to just breathe. “Hi.”

Your nuisance’s confidence dissipated just as quickly as it gathered. Evidently, he hadn’t expected to encounter the Kakashi Hatake tonight, especially not alongside you of all people. Kakashi hadn’t sounded threatening, not obviously anyway, but he didn’t need to. His reputation preceded him, and he counted on that fact - and sure enough, the other man let go of you immediately.

“Is there a problem here?” Kakashi wondered. Only the gruff tone at the end of his question belied his (potentially) aggressive implications, but it was all he needed.

“No! No problem at all!,” the other man assured, and moved back, suddenly very careful to observe his distance.

It was amusing to see the change yourself, the intimidating effect Kakashi had on others without even trying. If you didn’t know him better, you’d have felt too scared to try and mess with him in the first place.

“Glad to hear it! Now, if you’ll excuse us…,” his voice trailed off. He didn’t bother explaining himself further, or giving you time to argue, before pulling you away and through the crowd of people.

You almost stumbled, struggling to keep up with him in your heels. As much as you were happy to get the alone time you wanted, his hasty actions unnerved you a little. You noticed that his eyes were narrowed, the furrowed brow from before back with a vengeance. Was he actually angry? “Kakashi, wait! where are we -”

“Let’s just get some air.”

You couldn’t deny that sounded nice, and the peace and quiet on the rooftop was a welcome change from the raucous energy of the party beneath it. But Kakashi didn’t say anything else. He only adopted a similar position to the one he’d had inside, leaning against the roof door with his arms folded and eyes closed.

The air was suddenly… dense. This was uncomfortable. You sighed, and he peered an eye open to look at you. Still saying nothing, but at least it was acknowledgement. Taking your cue to approach him, you attempted to make sense of your current situation.

“Are you jealous?”

You asked it before you knew what you were saying. In hindsight, it was a stupid question. You knew that. Even if there were any inkling of truth behind it (and you suspected there was), Kakashi would vehemently deny it. No. He was above that - obviously. He wouldn’t allow himself to be manipulated by your obvious behaviour, by an an emotion as petty and irrational as mere jealousy.

Even as his actions belied his words, as they so typically did, as he had placed that large hand on your shoulder and led you away from your latest admirer, in that powerful but completely lackadaisical way that only he was capable of. Never realising how imposing he could be until you were up close, but never betraying that control either. God forbid he ever show that you were capable of bothering him.

When you glanced back at him, though, Kakashi was frowning again. His mask wasn’t the amazing obstacle he thought it was; you’d become quite adept at reading his expression through his eyes alone where others couldn’t.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said flatly. The subtle growl that accompanied his final syllable contrasted with the joviality your question, and it caught you off-guard. You had been cheerful enough, even teasing, but his stern glare and suddenly intimidating stature (he was so good at hiding it) cut through the levity you’d tried to bring to the situation. Suddenly, you were confronted with every implication of your actions tonight.

But you could only think of one acceptable way to shroud your nascent insecurity. Indignation and   feigned confidence. “Why is it ridiculous?! Why did you pull me away like that if you weren’t?”

“Well, it seemed like he wasn’t getting it,” Kakashi shrugged. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No! But I could have handled it,” you sighed, but you didn’t have much faith in your words. You were sure you could have, probably, but you both knew you didn’t exactly hate the idea of him - specifically him - helping you like that. Even if you didn’t always like to admit it.

He hummed, amused, and you felt like he might have been smirking under his stupid mask. “Well, that’s probably true. But you were too busy playing games to notice what was going on.”

“I wasn’t playing games,” you hissed. Yet again, your words felt empty. But you hated being so transparent.

“If you say so. Care to enlighten me on what you were doing then?”

That scar that cut through his left eye, that was so engraved into his skin did an excellent job at cutting through your defences too. He was so good at seeing through you, you were surprised at the prospect of having to explain yourself. You had the inkling he just wanted you to admit it, the asshole, regardless of what it would do to your dignity. “Well, I-I don’t know.”

Kakashi folded his arms, as unimpressed by your response as you were taken aback.  “Well, by all means, go back to him and figure it out.”

That was it. How willing he was to dismiss you, again. His tone sparked your own anger, and you were suddenly hit with the frustration of not just tonight, but of everything up until now.

“Why are you being such a jerk about it? Don’t you understand that tonight is the most emotion I’ve had out of you in weeks? I’ve tried so hard to be patient, and now I’m trying to be more obvious, and maybe this wasn’t the best way of handling it, but you don’t make it easy! You barely pay attention, then you act as if another man paying attention is meaningless, and then - Don’t you understand that I just miss you, but you don’t…,” your voice trailed off, and that dumbfounded wide-eyed stare Kakashi was giving you was the final straw. You were overwhelmed. You were exhausted. You were annoyed. How could he have the gall to look shocked while you bore your (admittedly, slightly nonsensical) soul to him? Your breath eventually caught up with your words, and the embarrassment at your rare tears and even rarer outburst lagged behind. You turned away.  

“Y/N, I didn’t mean to - I just. Hey. Don’t cry.” It was Kakashi’s turn to stumble over his words. His breath hitched. “I miss you too. I’m sorry.”

You didn’t say anything, though you couldn’t exactly grant his request. How were you supposed to stop crying, when this was the first time he’d shown any regret, any realisation, over your feelings tonight? Had he honestly no idea? On second thought, you didn’t doubt that after all. The concern in his voice was genuine, and you knew he was even worse at working through his feelings than you were.

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you,” Kakashi whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. You turned back, something in that gravelly timbre of his voice pulling at your heartstrings. When you met his sincere gaze, he quickly closed the gap between you. When his thumbs moved to still your tears, your hands travelled to meet his. This was the closest you’d been in weeks. 

“You have a funny way of showing that,” you admitted with a sniff. 

He hesitated. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t figure out how to fix it. So with work, I let myself get distracted. I didn’t know what to do about… any of it”

His words and intent eyes render you touched, but ultimately, confused. You struggled to assuage both you and himself. “You’re the one that pulled away. Don’t you get that I don’t like the thought of losing you either? But at least I was doing something about it.”

“You think that was doing something about it?” His tone was a little too accusatory, and he knew it, relenting with a sigh before you had a chance to argue your case again. “Right. You were. It wasn’t very effective, or sensible - I know, I know - but it was more than what I was doing.”

You remained silent, ruminating on his words. It was nice to hear, affirming to have some admission that you weren’t the only one, that you were justified in your feelings. But you knew you weren’t guiltless either.  “But I’m sorry. It was stupid to make you jealous. I should have just talked to you.”

“Yes, it was, and yes, you should have,” he agreed, a little too readily. You rolled your eyes, but he leant in close, as if in response, completely aware of the fact that he made your cheeks flare up. He leant down, lips dangerously close to your ear now, and went on in that huskier whisper that sent a shiver up your spine. “But it did work. It drove me crazy.  Seeing them all look at you like that. Seeing him look at you like that. Watching him trying to get close to you. When he tried to touch you. ”

Wait? Did Kakashi just say it worked? Did you finally get him to admit that he was jealous? You allowed yourself an internal cheer of triumph. “I knew it!”  An external one, too.

Never one to let you revel in your victories, least of all the petty ones, Kakashi stood up straight and went on. “Anyway. I’m sorry for being as distant as I was. I’m the one who put you in that position. I suppose I should have just talked to you too.”

“You suppose?”

Kakashi chuckled, tugging his mask down. You saw a glimpse of that genuine, handsome, smile - and you realised how long it’s been since you’ve really seen it. You were still pondering it when he kissed you. It was soft, sweet, apologetic - but much too short, and he was pulling his mask up before you could protest. “It’s nice to be gracious, Y/N. You were right. For the most part. Can’t we leave it at that?”

You gave an obnoxious sigh before grinning at him. “I suppose.”

“Thank you. Now, can we please go home already?”

You giggled, forgetting your self-consciousness for the moment, and placed a kiss on the masked part of his cheek. “Sure. Hey, make me a promise, though?”

He looked at you expectantly, even a bit apprehensive.

You reached up, your lips just as dangerously close to the shell of his ear as his had been to yours, and whispered. “Do you promise to make up for the distance, if I promise to make up for driving you crazy?”

Kakashi didn’t say anything, but you got the feeling that he didn’t have a problem with your terms. Something in the way he led you out, just as he had led you away from that nuisance. Something in the way he’d picked you up and carried you to bed that night, and in the way he held you close afterwards, his grip unrelenting. Something in that smile that you had missed so much, that was only for you.

It only lasted for a second, but you could have sworn you’d seen it.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

i saw this tweet https://twitter.com/_omigashh/status/1365170181148798976?s=21 and i was like ???? what do you think about this?

Lol we’ve discussed it before, it’s the same one thing each time. I wish they would find something else, cause I feel like we’re walking in circles in this blog already and I’m having trouble finding previous asks xD. Haha I love the first personal interpretation with the “what she really meant”, that’s how the wrong info spreads.

And no, that’s not what she meant. She said “if it wasn’t for the swimming, they probably wouldn’t become friends bc of their different personalities”, which in no way means that the only thing Rin likes about Haru is swimming [sending you to this post with all the real proof] and vice versa as some of them say and if you don’t see that this ain’t true, you’ve watched smth else.

As I’ve said before according to their logic all ships are invalid in this case, cause “if it wasn’t for basketball / volleyball / ice-skating / mutual goal of becoming heroes, etc they all wouldn’t be friends”. Also since when different personalities in a ship discard the ship? Cause all the canon ships have opposite attract thing going on and been doing just fine, thanks. As people in life. Cause I don’t know a person who would want to date yourself tbh.

Haru said the Sousuke reminds him of Rin a lot and in books Sousuke described as Rin’s alter ego. He also reminds Rin of his dad. Of course, they’re on the same wave, of course, they undestand each other the best. I understand myself the best. Makoto is Haru’s shadow, his whole life is based on following him, he literally has no personal dreams or whatever since the moment he met him, Haru in the books literally cringes since he just repeats what they do, even if he just goes for a run [here are all the direct, unedited, original quotes]. I do not know Makoto’s true identity, sometimes I think he’s Haru’s ghost.

And I agree with her statement. And no, she didn’t mean it in a romantic way as mh fans still think after all this time AND all the CANON that happened and what Haru said out loud. She is a well known hardcore Rinharu fan, who like me “can talk about these two forever” and writes random short stories about them and also, man, they’re literally in her every work. LIKE JUST KNOWING THIS, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, SHE DID NOT MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

I know this would be painful for this person to hear, but if she read the books and watched the anime Makoto’s personality and his attitude towards life, they do not inspire Haru... he’s just not a fan, to say, to soften the blow. He very much appreciates and loves him as a friend, but he does not respect his way of living, even comparing him to a sticky fly (A FLY!), who has nothing else to do, but stick to somebody else. They said zillion times, the reason Haru admires Rin is not bc of his swimming, but because of the way he lives. Rin is free, Rin is “vibrant”, he compares him to a strong vivid red flower among the other peasants. If Haru is canonically Rin’s shining, Rin is more like Haru’s sun tbh.

Also I have like a whole book of what Utsumi and the crew said about Rinharu being a couple, but they’re still running around with this one thing for 7 years. Like do you have anything else? Like literally... anything? It’s 2021 and each time the interpretation of that interview is getting wilder and wilder lol. Let’s just, let’s please quote the real things, I’m begging you. Like one anon said, pls seriously, I understand if mh is your thing, but let’s not be too blind. Stop running around with the only quote you have and twist it.

I also have ships that are not canon, but I do not try to prove that they are, I try to prove why I ship them and why they are better then canon in such cases.The truth is in Free! from the beginning they never wrote anyone besides rinharu as romantic relationship, it is what it is. That is the anime and books fact. If you think that Makoto is “a better match” for Haru (god forbid tbh), that’s your preference, but lets not write what’s not there. It’s like each new season/movie/drama/story is out creators write things black on white, but someone is still like “it ain’t canon, it just ain’t, I haven’t seen this”. Who the fuck after everything that happened thinks that Rin have ROMANTIC feelings for Sousuke and Haru for Makoto?! (I’d understand the other way around maybe, but NOT THIS!). I’m serious... as in okay, you can prefer your ships despite everything, it’s a free state, but you can’t think so... like for real, after everything that Rin and Haru said themselves... or do they think everyone is under imperius curse casted by Rinharu fans and it’s all just a HUGE lie? :D 

ALSO WE’RE IN 2021! I THOUGHT THIS WAS NOT THING ANYMORE. AS IN ARGUMENTS LIKE WHO IS THE REAL DEAL (not which ship is better..psst, its rinharu still). THEY WANT TO “TRAVEL THE WORLD TOGETHER AND BE IN ONE BE TOGETHER” AND SWIM IN ALL KIND OF TOURNAMENTS NOW THAT THEY’RE TOGETHER, LEAVE THEM BE ALREADY PLS SERIOUSLY. THEY JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER... IT WAS LITERALLY THEIR DREAM. AS IN THEY BOTH WANT TO BE WITH EACH OTHER AND THEY MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY. I KNOW YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH MAKOTO FOR SOME REASON, AND YOU THINK HARU IS HIS ONLY OPTION AND THAT’S YOUR REASONING, BUT HARU’S ALSO A PERSON. WITH HIS OWN WISHES. SO PLS CONSIDER IT, TOO. HE’S ALSO NEVER BEEN HAPPIER AS HE WAS DURING THAT NIGHT TRIP, SO PLS CONSIDER THIS, TOO. ALSO PLS CONSIDER THE WHOLE FREAKING ANIME.

♫ let it go, let it go ♫ (I fucking hate this song, but pls lol)

[ywyunho]

     *     hewwo so late but just finished an exam and this intro will reflect the exhaustion i currently feel so please excuse me but yw’s open ! ! 🥳🥳🥳 will list a couple points down below and some plot ideas until i can get a proper page up but here’s his profile for some stats and that’s about all i got. please feel free to like this if you’d like for me to roll into ur ims or please. also feel free to just roll into mine, i also have discord if that’s easier, just lmkk. but anyways this is kim yunho, km2 canon, a bro that pretends he has a personality. 

kim family, influential, involved in local politics and yunho doesn’t get the hype?? but it instills the belief in him he’s always got to be the polished, good-mannered son bc he is a reflection of his family and doesn’t wanna let them down................. or so he says

indecisive as shit, grows up doing a multitude of things in hopes of finding a definitive passion, is a quick study so its easy to go thru the motions w different hobbies or interests but boredom is like a disease that never stops giving . 

one hobby that happens to stick the handcrafted violin his grandfather gives him and he accepts it with an :o *insert sparkles all around his face* expression bc this feels like trust . this feels like a sign .

breaks said thing but initially in fear and desire to make reparations to grandfather (and himself) begins to look into violin-making and the craft of lutherie and there begins his first long-term interest, something he still does in spare time to calm himself when feelings n existence is too much

is a bit of a (used lightly) delinquent growing up, but nothing serious . more like following rules??? when u can ignore responsibilities and explore as a child???? its all done in the name of boredom!!!!!!! and privilege can make one very. haughty

but is a good boy, as seen thru his innocent features that old ppl just luv ok, overall despite dramatic tendencies when things don’t go his way, excessive pouting, silent treatment, brief phases of anger that don’t last long and are quick to exhaust him and have him wondering what was the point of feeling that much

leaves for university, forced to take something not. crafts related basically bc his parents dont trust him NOT to get bored and stress the vital importance in finishing THIS degree (major in business administration, minor in political science) before he can do much else, hoping it’ll make him settle down and stop chasing wanderlust 

makes it three years in, loses grandfather mid-way thru but pushes it all down, after the third comes the loss of a friend that he will basically never talk about now (tho people probably know ig?? considering. small town and his family at the very least were told), leading to him citing life is short and drops out to go on a backpacking trip thru europe like he thinks rich kids do and then stays with a couple friends in the states and basically . months pass and what was supposed to be his final year comes and passes before he finally promises parents to come home. its all very controversial

he is a disappointment and he knows it (so he says and thinks quite bitterly)

now works as desk clerk @ hot springs to get away from being at home at the time,  does not talk much about his time away, is a little more detached in hopes it’ll keep people from talking to him / about him when he’s still around . knows rumours probably fly around about the potential he had and the lack of results but . he pretends he simply does not care 

the end this was long and boring

to SUMMARIZE: boy doesn’t know what to be, is told to fit family mold, fails that and comes back a little broken.

possible connections???

childhood friends he used to hang around with until he left for university, probably awkward now and yes its prob entirely his fault, sue him

he used to declare u public enemy #1 and was so goddamn annoying........... except now he’s completely forgotten who u are and it’s ANNOYING.

he goes on morning jogs and maybe u join him . or maybe he joins u. maybe its cute. maybe it becomes a challenge and both tries to out-sprint the other . or maybe its just yunho 

parents once entertained/joked about the idea of the two of u getting married when yall grew up and excuse me. its like. 2020 . but hello could’ve been betrothed, how are u

you’re good at something and he wants to master it now. he is annoying.

you both used to share everything w each other and maintained contact when he left yangwon until he disappeared over the grid and now that he’s back u keep asking him how time outside of yangwon was and he keeps tries to actively get away from u with very badly exercised excuses . little do u kno its bc hes not ready to talk about his feelings and every time he sees ur face he wants to do just that

alternatively he sprints in the opposite direction every time he sees u and u dont know if he hates u for some reason or if hes full of himself or if u smell (cue edward cullen montage here) but god forbid........ its a cr*sh?

high school exes................... there is a lot of ways this could go

pseudo siblings, older or younger, bc yunho loves the concept of family

ur so c*te he literally trips when he sees u. insert a million other embarrassing events here

slightly antagonistic, but for the 100th time, yunho is annoying growing up with bc he oozes ‘im a good son, please love me’ pheromones with that disgustingly sweet smile of this but now that he’s back and not so faux perfect and theres some talk and u find maybe he’s not So annoying anymore

he likes to walk thru the rain and let himself get soaked and u are genuinely concerned bc what the f*ck dude . or u join him. what happens next may or may not warm ur heart .

works @ hot springs....... maybe he sees smth....... he shouldnt........?????????/ or maybe........ u want him to............????????/ god idk

this is so hard ill take anything .

[jondeacon]

Alright, lovely, your post about your so called best friends... I know what you mean, I once had toxic friends, too (I know you didn't call them toxic, but anyway). The best thing you can do is cut them off. Show them you don't need them and their judging. You're a strong, beautiful human being, you don't deserve to be treated that way. We love you, and sometimes internet friends are better than irl friends, trust me, some day this'll be nothing but a memory and you'll be glad you cut them off

Im an inch away from calling them toxic but....oh well...Okay a bit of a storytime..

the thing is that these two friends are like...barely here anymore when i would need them or anythingOne has a boyfriend and isn’t really having a healthy relationship with the guy bc it feels like he tries to keep her away from me and my other friend, but it’s like when we try to meet up or do smth together, it’s never good for them, but once they have time and it’s not good for us, they get mad...wonderful situation.Also i noticed that her boyfriend seems to only dislike me and whenever we go out and im god forbid not in the mood to drink or anything like....he starts picking at me, and im at that point when this fucking bothers me...

And then there’s my other friend whom im supposedly closer with...She has borderline as well, but she’s like seriously the opposite of me, she’s careless and does dumb things when drunk and idk i could go on for a long time....The thing is with her, and mostly im mad at her rn, because she keeps forgetting things, we make plans she doesn’t end up coming bc she forgot, or any other excuse and when we try to call her or anything, we cant, we can barely ever reach her, she doesnt pick up the phone or has it on mute so on...and like i let her do this to me so many times its insane.Im an understanding person and if any of them has problems i understand or if smth comes up for them, i understand my friend’s disorder, more than anyone around us probably but...she cant do this, she cant always blame everything on her mental illness...and it gets tiring.The thing what made me snap today is that we got a summer job and we were supposed to go to this place next weekend, and the employer would have decide if we could get the job...So i met her roommate while i was coming back from shopping and she told me that the guy called my friend, that we are not going this week yet, bc the renovations are still not finished there. I was thinking like, was she going to tell me at the last minute, or not at all? Because it’s not like going to the cinema or anything else, this is a serious damn thing and for her to like totally not giving a fuck or i don’t know what is she thinking...but it really hurts me, i’m not surprised tho but oh well...

I have friends whom are not necessarily best friends but i can stil count on them more than these two...and it tells a lot. I don’t know why i let this happen every single time...i don’t understand myself at all thats the sad thing.

With internet friends i honestly feel like this is the truth :( it’s the distance what’s so bad about it, but internet friends are sometimes so much better than real ones.

And seriously thank you for your words anon Ilysm

[talt0sh]

THAT'S AMAZING

And what if he's saying it in his serious, more natural voice?

Also, I can imagine how tired he is with trying to make his voice pitch higher. As a shop assistant (in the recent past) me and my colleagues have noticed that we've got some kind of "work voice" : high pitched, sometimes even too much, more friendly and childish. That was smth like subtle habit of ours to feel more in safety, 'cause when you're talking with buyers with your normal, grownup or, GOD FORBID YOU, low voice you have much more chances to be attacked by them. But, at the end, you use this higher voice for at least 12 hours 2 days in a row, and after years of working you start to use it even on your weekend.

And your vocal chords HAVE NO REST AT ALL. Kinda that's normal to lose your voice for a day or so because of a oratorical laryngitis (hope I write it right). So I think that he experienced it at least 2-3 times at the NRC, trying to bury himself in his room, not talking to anyone, 'cause he can't afford any of them to see him talking with low and cracking voice

And now Cater has you, the one who not only says him how nice and cool this voice is(that is much more of his natural, from which he's already unaccustomed) but also giving him mineral water with milk for his poor vocal chords 😔✊

OH NO TOO MUCH ANGST

Cater is crying I the night because of all of this, but then he hears that MC is calling him by name, very gentle, and is asks him to wake up. Turns out that all of these was just a nightmare and MC is his S/O at least for a year now, 'cause they always was that person he can never fool with his too flirty attitude. And he is sobbing, smiling mess, that is clinging to confused MC, when they are patting his head and give him kisses all over his drowsy face

_(:3 」∠)_

YEEEEESSSSS!!!!! THANK YOU!!!! 😭❤❤❤❤❤ talt0sh-san saves the day!!

.

Later on, as they’re getting lunch together, MC asks Cater what had happened in his dreams. “It was something that really bothered you. You were crying. I want to know, my beloved Diamond.”

With an embarrassed blushed, and stumbling upon his words a million times, Cater lets it out: “I-uh... J-Just a silly little dream! Ahaha! ...uh... It was... One of my b-biggest fears, back when... when I was trying to woo you, [Nickname]-chan.” His cheery attitude made way for an anxious Cater to settle in. He began gesturing wildly with his hands, as he tends to do when nervous. “I really, REALLY thought you disliked me... Y’know, because I’m very... flirty and stuff. Many nights I cried thinking this was all un-unrequited.”

You took both of his slightly trembling hands on yours, squeezing tightly. “But that was not the case. It’s not the case, Cater.” You smiled sweetly at him, “I love you with my entire heart, there’s nothing more I want to do than enjoy my time with you, by your side.” You brought his hands up to your lips and kissed his knuckled.

He took in a deep, shaky breath, the sting of tears tickling the corners of his eyes. “I adore you, [Name].” The lack of nickname told you he was serious. His arms wrapped around you, bringing you into a tight hug. “I love you so much. You will my heart with pure liquid happiness.” He giggled a bit, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

You felt like home, you were his home. He may be your diamond, but he will treasure you forever.

[ikonis]

I understand wantin credit and respect for ur work but don't you think you're being childish? It was ur choice to make gifs and put them up on the internet where anyone can take them and claim them as their own (im not saying its ok but how can u not expect this to happen?) Ur crying over credit? Are they makin money off ur gifs? Are u? No. Not every1 who uses ur gifs is a good person not every1 will respect ur rules. Honestly if u get bothered so easily by this then just stay off the internet.

Don’t say you understand a creators anger towards people who steal their work and make them look bad when you obviously never even created original content once by yourself. Ya’ll take this for granted and steal gifs even art and fan pictures from google, edit them and then play the victim card as if you didn’t do anything wrong when someone calls you out for your shit. But god forbid that another group have just a similar album font or wear similar clothes as your faves. Then you guys suddenly scream copy and go nuts. Imagine the other group now stealing everything and not just copying it. Wouldn’t you be mad? I’m done with you hypocritical asses. If you don’t create original content, don’t fucking steal it or ask the creator for their permission. You people are the worst. You take everything from google and other sites and don’t even give a damn about the work people put in creating the content that you claim as your own or show around to gain followers when all you did was clicking save and post. You have no respect, no common sense and no right to be part of any fandom since you don’t bring anything positiv but only anger and sadness. Try to create smth first, then see tons of people, even the ones you don’t agree with or don’t like, or had a fight with use it like they own your shit. I want to see how you’ll handle it. Ya’ll are hypocrites. You already go off when someone reposts one of the reposted gifs you re-edit. I would like to see you putting in the actual work to create the real gif and then see everyone reposting your stuff without permission. It’s really simple, if it’s not yours, you don’t touch it or ask for permission to use it first. It’s common sense. We all learn that rule at the age of 4-5. Don’t take another kids toy without asking or when they don’t allow it. Idk why you act like this is anything else but stealing. Cause It’s not. You get sued for 8 years and more for recording movies and putting them online like I'm childish? Are you being serious rn? Look at our law. They don't allow stealing either. Childish are the ones who don't take an creators work serious and act like it's okay to repost since it's on the internet. Every site, tumblr included has rules for this. Tumblr doesn't even allow reposting. One message and they immediately delete the reposted content. YouTube doesn't allow anything bcs of copyright. If you want to talk about people being childish, look at yourself and your message and who you actually support. They don't do shit for this fandom but bring drama.