#god essays make me want to dissolve into acid

[imkindadeadinside]

my essay is FINALLY MAKING SENSE

[kelocitta]

In honor of the @rw-ship-showdown I wanted to write about Artihunter as someone who jokingly slapped them together pre-downpour and still thinks they are actually very compelling. Just not in the super soft love wins kinda way (Although I get why people like that more) And the only way I know how to do that is talking too much so heres a far too long slug essay-

Obviously the slugcats don't offer a ton of characterization but theres not nothing to work with. Their stories, whether by their roles in it or the overarching themes do provide a backbone to work with. Even gameplay itself can provide a bit. (for some more than others) Hunter, to me, is ultimately a story about selflessness. The goal is to revive Moon, which is very much an act of kindness from both Hunter and NSH. But the weight of that action is much more significant for Hunter- Hunter is deeply sick. They're on the clock, and for all their skill in combat none of that will ultimately help them to survive longer than their body can hold out. Moon is a close friend of NSH but that means little Hunter- Hunter really gets next to nothing out of helping them, and ultimately pays quiet a bit spending their limited time alive fighting to deliver that neuron so that someone else can live.

To spend ones limited days on helping another, in a game that very much stresses the unwavering cruelty of the world and nature- is pretty notable. (And you could even say that Hunter being the Hardmode of Rain World adds another layer to this)

And then we have Artificer. A storyline that very much stands out to people as more… villainous (so to speak) than the other slugcats. Artificer's story covers a lot of things. Trauma, violence, revenge, etc. Revenge is a bit of a selfish desire- That need to see someone hurt as they have hurt you. A punishment that ultimately does not fix whatever harm was done- but feels good to see because you were hurt and now those responsible share that pain.

Artificer's actions are founded in that need for revenge, their pups killed for overstepping boundaries they didn't know existed. Is it not fair for them to be angry at that, to punish the scavengers for their violence with their own? Why should the scavengers ever be forgiven when they and their pups were not? And that's how you get that loop- Harm for harm over and over.

The original action has been lost in a spiral of violence for violence. And here stands Artificer- their very spirit scarred. Not just because they sought revenge, but because they never ceased trying to scratch that itch for violence as an answer. Artificer only has two paths for their story- killing the scavenger king (Someone who, really, has little to do with the original 'crime' of the scavengers, but represents an important individual to them- as did the slugpups to Artificer), locking themselves as karma one for good and spending the rest of their life chasing creatures that no longer even fight back in a warped sense of closure- or to dissolve themselves in the acids of the void sea because they're too far gone to find any real peace.

They can't meaningfully recover from that state, not alone, twisting in on themselves. Even if they halt their actions, they've been using violence as a feeble defense against their own pain- violence that no longer has any real direction or basis. Artificer gets no real closure from killing the scavenger king. All they can do is continue the cycle, or try to scrub it away. No real peace in a prison of their own making. So you have a creature, who even with a strict timer on their life- a body that will crumble to disease, spends its last bit of time on saving another. And another who was so caught up in the pain of loss that were eaten alive by their own anger, poisoned their own soul on such a deep level even self-proclaimed gods have no solution for them. What peace can they offer each other? For Hunter, its only a fleeting moment of happiness- of selfish love, before their own body fails them. A bit of indulgence in something for themself. For Artificer, its a single, comforting thread to ground them again, something tangible to protect and care about again. But thats a thread that will ultimately be snapped under the cruel indifference of the world. Hunters timer will tick down regardless of if it takes another with it. Its a tragedy- its doomed to end badly. Whatever good it offers to either of them to find each other will only provide the fleeting comfort of a band-aid that will be ripped away too early. But all that can be worth indulging in anyway, if only for the moment. It doesn't change the ending, but the ending was never going to be happy. Its can so yuri

[crab-goddess]

Lala  land more like Po land cause that shits gay ad I do not like it cause the cant sing Very well and mate I’m just over the hype like let it go the love you feel towards the film? – DROP IT

Reaching into my thoughts I pull out the hated memory of seeing lala land because it ruined my faith in cinematography to cast people for singing roles. I love advanced higher and I know this essay is really shit right now I really need to get this grade because I want to go to the cconsevitour you feel me

Lala land goes against my morals also because of how it shows examples of cheating because mate she has a fucking boyfriend and she makes a date with this guy when she is still with her boyfriend and she stands up the date with this new guy cause she has a boyfriend and half way through her date with her actual boyfriend she goes with the dancing man. I wrote in my diary how outraged I was after seeing the film because I had to document my utter rage, long story short I tore up the page because I was fuming

What else do I not like about it? They have so much money but they have loads of money, they have so many costume changes like obviously they have money. There are so many changes. HE DRIVES a convertible.

Every single time someone is shot in New York they have no money like what’s the deal I am concerned. I cannot not see my genitalia, my little buddy.

I should talk to my dick more actually, oh hi penis

Hold me while I pee small bowl. Kerry has departed and so has my inspiration for the cause because not gonna lie I did enjoy lala land despite its bad qualities it made me feel good and that’s all the matters to a young emo boy living in the suburbs you feel me sqa marker like seriously not gonna lie either I really want a fucking A give me it you low life piece of amazing literature like the essay you are reading right now so shut the fuck up and don’t go to the cinema

Turning point baby Kerry is spitting on the attack, she doesn’t really care about poussey anymore which me as the writer I am happy about. I should use periods more, periods only stop sentences. Lesbian teasing in orange in the new black is so annoying because it is like oh here are some sexy lesbians oh wait they are dead now or in shu or whatever it’s called like nicky was an example. Lexa wasn’t the best like gay character I just want a consistent gay character, you can tell she hasn’t seen sense 8. That’s something I could talk about

I don’t like ben aaffleck.

Sense  8 is great, there Is no doubt about that but man there are somethings I am not happy about. I feel as if they are just ticking off all of the stereotypes in today’s society in the sense that they have to have ever interesting character like what are the chances that they are from different countries, surely there must be like two in India or something it kind of annoys me but however, new  sentence. It does give me everything that I want in a tv show like there isn’t a character I would want added to the show because they have everyone I could ask for and more. I think im doing well so far, lewis is going home –wait sorry I am the writer lewis Gemmell I have not got a ghost writer

Cactus? Katniss? Obi wan? What is the difference, ben kanobi that what. It literally just goes back to the same position. I promised my mum and dad I wouldn’t get drunk I am a bad person I just need to start taking responsibility for my actions. I am a bad person. Responsibility is coming, are we doing this hand thing. Who is dominant? I like treating this essay as a mental release, they are being so loud. I do think I am kind of mental with this parasite thing also me and Lewis are opposites  on another level with me being a bottom an ben being a just o top not like ben is writing this he just promotes instinctfulness , Melissas belly is making funny noises. Melissa is such a twinky bottom, only a bottom as a boy don’t get her wrong.

Vegan cheese thats fucking disgusting oh my god how am I typing when im walking around like a zombie omg that’s hat school is like. Endurance is key top tip sqa. Ppinky then thumb, 12 inch instantly would just make you vomit, dick comes out mouth and it touches your delicate stomach and you projectile acid all over the sheets and dissolve his dick and bed sheets. Lewis wants – wait I – want to bottom properly. Douche for week not years. parks and rec inspiration mate the banter is flowing like nates cum in my mouth – said by Jeffree star 16/02/2016. How cool is numbers in essays. Braid my asshole hair into a nice messy bun/ wreath

Have you never heard of jeffree star? He’s hilarious. Slurp that shot babes, hump till you make that fucking calorie burn. Everybody clap your ass can you bring it to the top, slam into my sister room bum first. Dick of terror – oh wait caterpillar ride omg the caterpillar ride is like a 12 inch dick coming out his mouth like the caterpillar through the apple, sorry sqa I’m just on such a tangent. Holl boll screaming low blow puff poof

Back to lala land anyway, sorry about it. OK I want to type that emma stone is very ugly but I do not believe in what I think because she is beautiful but I am gay so I can just stfu, sorry sqa I’m really into abbreviations and tbh I’m liking my structure the flow is as potent as the banter. Cactus up anus? YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SO? I fucking love numbers in w0rd5 LOL. Spike in every orifice, Cactus in every orifice. Are eyes hoes? Only if you don’t have them. I have work in 5 hours but I care more about advanced higher english than to be caring about my fucking money situation. New paragraph for the editors enjoy babes take a s

Bit h I cannot ad

Mate you have no idea how hard it is to see he keyboard I’m typing this from memory of I’m decided am going to get married even tho theres like no point I like buy dress

Poke me with that dick bc I love jesis- the blind woman

I can’t imagine being Minnie driver

I think I am kaput, I’’m just out of energy towards getting my point across aand I think I have made some really potent points, melissas ass in this game. Sorry I keep going on these tangents and its about lala land not fucking reptiles. Emily is being really good at running in overwatch. But anyway I’’m coming to an end, I do like lala land but I respect the aspect of disappointments within the film.

I am going to make a film about am man who talks to his aunt in scrabble just so you know sqa I am doing other things than my advanced higher but I am only going to start when I finish this masterpiece cause again I love advanced higher English.

I want lola to pierce my nipple and I do like lala land ok and fuck emma stones hate on her

Bye, kind regards

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[sandybrownjensen]

“burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night”: Thinking About Howard Rheingold

Feb. 21, 2017

This morning while waiting for a Google Hangout to begin with Howard Rheingold (and his daughter Mamie) (Studio Visit #3 in the Networked Narratives class series), I decided to research him and make a list of “Ten Things I Know About Howard Rheingold” before the show began.

1. Born in 1947

2. Very much a member of my generation

3. Dream Office--your work space is a reflection of your interior alchemical space

4. He respects liminal figures

Howard Rheingold, “Balinese Garuda”

5. He collects Balinese and Hindu masks (I collect Northwest Coast Native masks)

6. He paints in the psychedelic Hindu style

7. Writes about the human values of the virtual worldplace

8. Interested in lucid dreaming; me, too

9. Is a gardener

10.Has built sculptures for Burning Man and floats for Grateful Dead parades

11. Has made pens of wood on his turning lathe

12. Designed and built an Alchemagikal Lucid Dream Box that I would love to have

13. Involved in The Well

14. Went to Reed College just like Gary Snyder did

15. Wrote The Millennium Whole Earth Catalog and about 15-16 other books

16. Paints his shoes

As I listened to the ensuing discussion with Howard and his daughter Mamie Rheingold, I found out something I really didn’t know about myself: I have ceased really being very interested in questions around media literacy or what it’s like to be a student, or a parent or a teacher; all that has faded now with time and distance.

I am entering into another zone of soul where I am writing about the past, curating my parent’s art for the future, and journeying ever more deeply into the landscape of Self.

And the more I know about that land, the more I understand the role of dream and altered trance states in the making of a story, a photograph, an essay, or a life.

For the most part, I feel like I travel these counties of the soul alone, but in Howard Rheingold, I feel I have met a fellow traveler:

“You! Hypocrite lecteur! --mon semblable,--mon frère!”

(“Hypocrite reader, my likeness, my brother!” T.S. Eliot quotes Baudelaire, Line 76 of “The Burial of the Dead”)

Perhaps like others who feel they travel alone, I am always on the lookout for those who have gone before me and become expert navigators. Rheingold is a shaman for our time. He understands these dynamic interior forces that can shine a darklight into the future and illumine the dimly lit, branching paths of history.

I wanted to ask him so many questions during that Google Hangout:

1. How do you understand the nature of evil?

2. Tell me about your rituals of creativity (and I’ll tell you about mine)

3. Talk about the importance of ritual, please.

4. Tell me why you were drawn to Buddhist, Hindu, Indonesian, Balinese art and symbolism for both your collecting (masks, flat art) and your personal mythmaking?

5. What have you come to understand about what is really meant by the phrase, “He/she is an old soul”?

Oh, and so many other wonders I would ask only once we were talking, and I got a feel for what seems possible to him and what he might deem as whackadoodle.

Celtic Green Lotus Woman by Howard Rheingold

Most of all, Rheingold has re-inspired me to take my own intuitive journey as seriously as I tell myself I do. There are soul projects I have dropped for a year while I waited to see what retirement would look and feel like. Some I have done. Some I have brought back online in draft form. Others are lingering like dream figures in the background in the waiting room of the soul.

One of my favorite Rheingold quotes:

“Attention is a limited resource, so pay attention to where you’re paying attention.”

Some of things I enjoyed most getting to know about Howard is his deep connection to his mother who was his grade school art teacher. His mother gave him permission to play at art, and he has had no further formal art training. 

When involved with “high play,” he calls on the distinction made by Mircea Eliade between “instrumental activity,” which is art as a means to an end, and “sacred activity,” which is deep, absorbed involvement in the creation of the moment.

"My art-making always has been a subconscious divination ritual that I've invoked in parallel with the rational techno-social forecasting I have done for fifty years."

Rheingold recently had a gallery show at the Institute for the Future (Alto, CA) called “The Past Futures of Howard Rheingold: A Retrospective on Art and Ideas.” A video was made of a talk about his art he did then, which was followed by an interview by his friend and colleague Fred Turner, chair of Stanford University’s Department of Communication.

In the video, Turner calls Rheingold “a bridge between the American counterculture and the digital future,” but I believe he himself was not trying to be a bridge so much as attempting to discover all the ways the world amplifies its many voices.

When asked what he discovered by taking LSD, his answer was prompt and quite serious, “I am the eyes of the world. Sentient being are how the universe senses itself. The membranes that separate us actually connect us much more than we know.” This is a point of view that reminded be so strongly of Brian Swimme and his book The Universe is a Green Dragon.

“For Brian Swimme, the universe is a radiant, numinous revelation, and contemplating the wonders of the unfolding creativity of the cosmos is a mystical, ecstatic, awe-inspiring event.”

Rheingold goes on to say he understand that reality is a social construct “that we have been taught and that can be dissolved.”

When Turner jokingly called this an “acid-oriented civic vision,” Rheingold perfectly turned and deepened the moment by saying that acid “just opened the door--what counts is what’s on the other side of the door and what you do with it.”

Turner also laid out a set of polar opposites, a “parallel mystical world vs the hyperrational world,” where Rheingold has done most of his writing and publishing. Where, Turner asks, does art fit between the two poles?

To answer, Rheingold calls upon both Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell, and it seemed to me he refused to engage with those polarizing tensions. 

"God, Creator of the Infinite Multiverses" by Howard Rheingold

He says that when he is making art, he’s communicating with himself, following where the art leads him. A lifelong habit of doing this has led him to trust his intuition. “Art--you just start and play and see what wants to emerge. I ask, ‘Where does this want me to go?’”

And in terms of the everyday, he has become proficient at “spotting signals” that might be meaningful in either an emerging book or an emerging art work.

He says this is what all the ancient mystics did. They were, as Ginsberg puts it, plugged “into the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.”

And that is one electrical socket I am more than happy to walk right up and stick my finger into.

Howard’s Dream Office