#god 2016 shield....

[oplishin]

roman and seth realize they're the only 2 left on their team at survivor series 2016

[ldysmfrst]

Incomplete (4) - 8 Makes 1 Team, But 9 Make...

Paring: Ateez OT8 x Plus-sized FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 3 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 14,942

Word count for Story: 33,808

Genre: Idol Soulmate AU

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This story will contain a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter contains panic attacks, the death of a non-main character, y/n having lots of negative emotions towards self, Protective San, and Shielded Jongho.

Story Summary: Ateez are soulmates who earned their way to Fame once they found each other. What happens when a new pull comes during their Towards The Light World Tour? Does 8 really make 1?

INCOMPLETE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

With their attention entirely on the oldest of the three ladies in the room, silence looms. There was a slight tension because they were finally learning something about you besides your name.

Seonghwa could feel your unease and– guilt?

Cindy looked at each of the bonded soulmates before stopping at Seonghwa and said, “Y/n… Y/n’s soulmate was murdered on June 15, 2016– on her 18th birthday.”

Ateez stared at Cindy wide-eyed and dropped chins because that wasn’t possible. Denial ran through the bonded group like a tide wave from everyone but Jongho, who still had minor reservations. As far as everyone they saw, all the signs were there that this woman sitting next to their oldest bonded mate was indeed another link in the bond.

They were your soulmates, not this other person, right? 

“I know this may seem like a stupid question, but” Jongho breaks the silence, his mind diving back into the secure walls he always kept around his heart. Maybe his soulmates were wrong, and this is just another game. 

“No, no. Let’s start with a non-stupid question… what do you mean Y/n has a soulmate already?” asks Wooyoung.

Another silent conversation happens between the three ladies before the younger friend speaks. God, what San wouldn’t give to gain mind reading as an ability instead of pinning. He doesn’t have to have Seonghwa’s ability to see your emotions, which are not in a good place right now, and it cuts his soul not to know how or why. 

“Darren Donahue. Y/n and Darren were instant friends when she transferred to our school in the middle of 3rd grade. They were inseparable all through the rest of elementary school and into high school,” says Kat.

“After growing up with soulmates as parents,” Kat smiles gently at Cindy. “I had an innate understanding of how to spot soulbonds or possibilities. It was resoundingly clear that there was a potential bond between them. Darren was a year older than Y/n when he turned 18 and could finally connect with his soulmate if he had one… but he never even looked.”

“Darren had asked Y/n’s mom to take her out for her 18th birthday. By that time, he had told several of us that his heart knew she would be his,” added Cindy. “All of us were supportive because we all agreed. Sure, there was a chance that we were all wrong. Ever since… we kind have wished we were.”

The boys watched as you sunk more into yourself. Now more than ever, Seonghwa wants to stop the feeling of guilt coming off you in waves, but looking at Jongho’s stern face, he understands that, for some reason, his ability cannot get through to you.

“Y/n, how did you know that Darren was your soulmate? Did you bond?” questions Hongjoong, hoping to get a clearer picture of what has happened and, in turn, what is happening. 

Looking at the Captain, you nod and show them a deep, still pink, rough scar carved into your arm. “He was with me at midnight when I turned 18. I gained my soulmate ability to feel emotions right away, but I don’t know what he was because we never got to...” your voice cuts as Ateez watches the tears fall. 

Glancing over at Hongjoong with his firm jaw, Yeosang feels helpless. He can see that the other members are feeling similarly. San blinks his eyes rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. Wooyoung hasn’t looked up since you answered his question. Yunho and Mingi look like they want to go on a murder spree because none of them know what to do to help you. 

They are useless to what their ladymate has gone through, and they don’t know what the future will hold since… well, since, according to popular belief, you only have one complete soulmate bond within a lifetime. The scar on your arm must be where your soulmate's mark formed when the bond was completed. Why it is a scar now will have to be discussed later.

Seonghwa watches your face as it silently contorts through what he can only think are memories and silently cries with you. If you and he had the same ability you gained once you bonded with this Darren… then you survived more than anyone will truly understand.

Jongho moves to stand behind the soulmate he can help and brings Hwa out of his small spiral of guilt for you for living with what happened. No one should have something so precious ripped from their hearts after such a short time.

“Maybe we are second chances,” comments Yunho. “They are practically unheard of and even rarer to be at the numbers we are.”

“Yeah, sure, Yunho,” scoffs Jongho. “If we were second-chance soulmates, then why would she not respond to all of our abilities? Where is our soulmate mark?”

The men are at a loss, and from the contemplative looks on your friend’s face, they see that they aren’t the only ones. None of them are well educated in the realm of soulmates and soul bonding. They don’t have answers for anyone, which doesn’t settle well with Hongjoong, Seonghwa, San, and Mingi. Is there anyone who they could talk to?

The sound of someone clearing their throat pulls everyone’s attention to their manager, which gains him some glaring from the demon line. “I hate to say this, but we need to leave for the BMO soon, Hongjoong-ssi,” he says nervously. 

San stands up quickly. “We can’t leave her right now. It won’t be suitable for any of us. Things are already strained as they are.”

“San-hyung, we don’t understand what is happening. It could be stress and timing that is causing all of this,” comments Jongho with an almost dismissive attitude.

“Excuse me?!!?” challenges San, squaring off towards the group's youngest member.

“Go,” you firmly say. “You need to be there for Atiny tonight just like you were there for us last night. I cannot be the reason for anything that affects the show or makes you all late. You did fine without me before. It’s not like I will be any help now.”

“Things have changed, Y/n. You made contact with San-ah and Seonghwa-hyung, meaning the soul-bonding has started with the two of them and yourself,” interjects Yeosang.

Ignoring Jongho’s not-so-silent scoffing, Hongjoong adds, “Once a soul-bonding starts in a group, it is fragile until the rest of the group bonds. It doesn’t finalize until everyone accepts it though.”

“You mean she has to follow you around now? Until everyone accepts her and vice versa?” asks Kat. “How will that work and not end up all over Dispatch or TMZ?”

“I can help with that, Miss Kat,” a young man says, stepping up from the corner dressed like he should be attending a kind of Paramore concert. “I am Mathew and I have been assigned to you three as a personal bodyguard for the remainder of your trip.”

“Excuse me?” questions Kat, their eyes looking the man up and down with confusion.

“I will explain later, Kat, before we leave the hotel,” intervenes Cindy. “How can you help?”

Mathew looks to Hongjoong and Seonghwa and then turns to their manager. “Tonight, I was supposed to have the night to watch the concert from the crowd. If we could get tickets for the three of them seated with me, we could attend the concert and reduce the distance between them all.”

“She would have to be closer than she was last night since the bonding has started,” adds Mingi. “Since we cannot have her on stage with us and hiding her backstage will pull the three of us in the wrong direction, she will have to be practically stage side like the photographers or VVIP.”

Nodding, Hwa speaks up, “Y/n, I know that this is probably more than you ever thought you have to deal with, but after tonight’s concert, we don’t have to be at the next stop until Thursday morning. We could sleep on it and talk in the morning?”

Seonghwa’s eyes are imploring and sweet in their gaze, while Jongho’s gaze is cold and calculating behind him. They watch your eyes bounce between them, your hesitation clear as day on your face. Ultimately, you look away from them, which deflates Hwa’s heart. 

“I'm sorry, but we really must leave,” their manager quietly says. “What do you ladies want to do?”

“We will go to the concert tonight,” decides Cindy. “I think it has been a lot and it has all happened a bit too fast.” 

Looking to Hongjoong, Cindy continues, “Let us talk to her, just us, and we will see you at the concert or afterward. If you could have someone show us our room for tonight we could talk about things till you want us to go to the concert?”

“Mathew-ssi, please?” orders Captain but nods to Cindy. He was right that their new soulmate isn’t hearing anything right now, but then again, who would? Especially not after everything the new soulmate has been through.

Ateez remains quiet as they watch Mathew and a few other guards escort you, Cindy, and Kat out of the conference room. 

“You have 10 minutes, then we have to leave,” says their manager before exiting to ensure everything is settled with the hotel.

Once the door is shut, all hell breaks loose among the members.

San is glaring and calling Jongho out for disregarding the new soulmate, to which Jongho defends that it doesn’t make sense, and Wooyoung is trying his best to keep them from actually getting into it.

Yunho tries to talk Mingi into staying in the room and not trying to start the bond before the concert, but Mingi swears it will help him concentrate better if he can connect through the bond with you.

Yeosang is watching everything fall apart at the seams as he holds on to each of his soulmate's mooring lines and your plaited silk line to ensure that none of them start to unravel. Tensions haven’t been this high for the eight-membered bond for a long time.

Hongjoong is lost in his own world, trying to figure out how this works. It’s clear to him that you are theirs. Your reactions to them in the parking garage were enough to dispel any thoughts of doubt from his mind. 

As Captain, he knows Jongho has dealt with lies and broken promises the most out of them all, so it is no surprise that their little bear has his paws out and is swinging. However, right now is not the right time for his insecurities to come out, but who can control what they feel when it comes to stuff like this? 

A broken hiccup is heard between all the voices, snapping everyone’s attention to Seonghwa, who has been sitting there motionless, staring at the door where you left. 

“Hwa-hyung,” calls Jongho with heaviness as he realizes their intense emotions overwhelm the eldest soulmate. He was too caught up in his argument with San to help keep everyone more level-headed because he doesn’t feel very level-headed right now, either.

“She felt it,” Seonghwa says, his voice wrought with pain and helplessness. His hands grasp the bottom of his shirt, wringing it tightly as he tries to sort everything running through his mind and heart.

Wooyoung kneels in front of Hwa, using his sleeve to dry the tears that have covered the elder's cheeks, “Felt what, hyung?”

“Y/n,” he starts before glancing at each of his soulmates. “She felt him die.”

Deafening silence encompasses the room, soulmates, and the remaining bodyguards taken back by this fact. Pulling Hwa’s hands from their current destruction of the shirt, Wooyoung holds them tight with comfort. “Hyung, what do you mean?”

“She said that her ability was the same as mine. She feels emotions, which means if this Darren guy was her bonded soulmate and he was murdered as Cindy said, then Y/n would have felt it,” Seonghwa almost whispers, his eyes searching his imagination, trying to fathom what that would feel like or do to a person.

The feeling of a soulmate bond breaking from being rejected or denied feels like a permanent emptiness, but a bond breaking because of a death is heard to be like your body being engulfed in fire. It is well known that soulmates tend to pass away together because the loss of one is too much for the other to handle without permanent crippling damage. 

The newer bonds are even more susceptible to extreme emotions. The mind and body must find a way to adjust to everything, and what is felt is already heightened, so distance between two bonding soulmates is not advised. But to have been granted the ability of your soulmate’s emotions, the immense or overwhelming feeling of the bond snapping into place, and then to feel the pain and life drain from that soulmate is beyond words. 

“Maybe that explains why her bond mark looks so ragged,” San wonders aloud. “I always thought they were supposed to be pretty.”

Standing slowly, Hongjoong says, “We don’t know what she felt or didn’t feel, and it will be up to Y/n to tell us more if she wants to. I don’t think this is a topic that we should push for details unless we have to.”

The rest of the boys nod in agreement, even Jognho, as he avoids the looks he is still getting from San. “Joong-hyung, how are we supposed to perform tonight?”

“I say we do just as Y/n asked. We need to be there for Atiny. We are Idols for a reason,” Hongjoong says, with no room for a counter.

“Can we wear the dark knight costumes for the opening act? And maybe the purple velvet too?” asks Yeosang. “I think with what we learned tonight the black would be appropriate and the purple might bring a smile to Y/n’s face.”

A soft smile forms on Hongjoong as he agrees, “That would be a nice gesture and besides we can’t wear the same thing as yesterday anyways.”

The ride to BMO was another Ateez-sardine-packed van. No one wanted to be left alone, but for San and Seonghwa, it was the only way to get them to leave the hotel. The ride was short and quiet. 

At arrival, the touring staff knew something was off with Ateez, but no one had the guts to ask what had happened in the last 24 hours. They had been around the group long enough to know they kept tight-lipped regarding internal issues. 

The wardrobe noonas were informed of the change requested for the costumes and quickly complied because the sad eyes and pouty faces of Yeosang and Seonghwa were not to be turned down. 

To say Ateez was distracted would also be an understatement. The make-up noonas or stagehands often had to call the members multiple times before they would snap out of their haze. The disconnect from how Ateez was before even caused some questions from the BMO event staff, but the touring team quickly found ways to reassure the BMO event staff that everything was fine, even if they didn’t know if it was true themselves. 

Once Hongjoong noticed his members' mental and emotional capacity for interaction was nonexistent, he tried to answer everything and guide the pre-show craziness away from his bonded soulmates. He knew there was a better time to unpack everything with each of them. There was only a short amount of time before Atiny was expecting them. It was his time to take his role as Captain seriously and stand strong for his soulmates, including you.

Seonghwa needed his makeup reapplied several times because he could not stop the tears from falling. The empathetic looks he got from the KQ team almost made it worse because they thought it was all for his grandfather when, in truth, it was for you.

Yunho felt a little lost in how to help. He agreed that you were a soulmate. He felt it in his bones that they were your second-chance soulmates. He also is abundantly aware of how much of a fairy-tale that sounds like, especially to Jongho. He also knows that he has heard of it happening, but he can’t remember who it happened with to save his life.

While Yeosang is typically the ‘baby girl’ and sunshine of Ateez, he also has the potential to be a member of the demon line, which is showing now. His face has taken on the resting bitch-face mode, not because he is mad at anyone but because he is concentrated on the soulmate lines. He is concerned about how his bonded soulmate's demeanor has changed and wants to know the moment you are nearby. He is unsettled because he can no longer feel the plaited silk line, and it is starting to feel like ants under his skin.

San is about to have his hyungs knock some sense into him because he acts more like a feral dog than a human at the moment. Out of all the bonded soulmates, San expresses emotions physically. It is one of the reasons why he took up working out and getting buff. He wanted to be able to protect his soulmates, but he also wanted to find ways to get out his aggression or libido without driving the loves of his life into the ground. Right now, he has decided to turn whatever he can find into a personal mini-gym in the guise of getting himself pumped up for a second night.

Unsurprisingly, the shorter of the two giants has secluded himself from everyone and everything. Mingi mentioned to his twin that he would be in the small room he found backstage to ‘settle himself,’ as he put it. In all actuality, Mingi was researching soulmate bonds, second-chance mates, bonding marks or scars, and one-sided soulmate bonds.

As an ESFJ, Wooyoung could see that his introverted Captain was stressing himself out, dealing with everything as if he was alone, and decided to help. Don’t get it wrong, Wooyoung was still processing everything but was good at multitasking. His ability to be social, talk someone’s ear off, and get things done while not breaking a sweat was something that most of the world found endearing. Right now, for him, it was emotionally draining when all he wanted to do was get San off the low-hanging rafter he was using like a pull-up bar and cuddle up until he could initiate the soul bonding with you.

Jongho focused on vocal warm-ups and paced anywhere that kept him away from San, Mingi, and, well, pretty much anyone else. He knew what he said in the conference room was wrong but didn’t want to get hurt again. Moreover, he doesn’t want his bonded soulmates to put too much into something that may end up causing damage in the long run. He is already beside himself because two of his hyungs have already started a soul bond with someone who hasn’t even once expressed that this is something that she wants. 

“Soundcheck is in 5, then BE:FIRST is up,” the leading stage manager shouts.

Looking at his soulmates, Hongjoong needs to figure something out to get them out of their funk.

“She is here!” Yeosang exclaims, springing up from his seat with the biggest smile. “She came. I think they are pulling up because it’s moving too fast for her to walk.”

Seonghwa and San close their eyes and lean into the bond they started with you, which pulses ever so faintly. Both members smile softly, and the tension within their bodies melts. The bond the two have with you is more solid than ever. You may not have verbally agreed or accepted their bond yet, but whatever your friends discussed with you has kept you from at least rejecting it. 

A few seconds later, Mingi swings open the door to his hiding room and jogs to the slowly forming group, “She is here and is in pain still. Are there seats with her ticket? Can she still see us if she sits?”

“Relax, Mingi-ah,” Seonghwa says, pulling the tall one into a hug. “I am sure Mathew-ssi and manager-nim have everything under control. We can look for her during soundcheck and if we see anything needs to be done, there is still time. Okay?”

Nodding, Mingi smiles at Yunho and glances at Jongho, noting that the youngest also has a half smile. Mingi’s heart squeezes slightly at the thought that Jongho is more on board with you being a soulmate than he is letting on. 

“Ateez, it’s time,” says their manager, walking up to the circle they have naturally formed. Holding a hand up, he smiles and quietly says, “She is in the VVIP Section downstage right along the start of bridge with her companions, Mathew, Ji-ho, and Ha-Joon. They should find their seats soon. Now, please, I know it won’t be easy, but show her that she isn’t going to hinder your career but that you know she is there.”

Catching his arm before he walks away, San asks, “Did she say something, manager-nim?”

Looking around at the staff milling around, the manager leans in, “Mathew sent me a text while they were in their hotel room, mentioning that it seems to be one of the more prominent points of conflict for Y/n. She almost didn’t come.”

“She almost didn’t come?” Hwa asks again to double-check that he heard correctly.

The manager nods with a frown, but the next second, he smiles brightly when a stagehand comes up to mumble something in his ear. “Thank you,” he says to the stagehand before looking back at the group. “She is seated. Be yourselves. It’s soundcheck time.”

As the manager walks off, the soulmates look at each other. Hoongjoong steps toward the center, “We can do this. We can perform for Atiny. We can perform for Y/n. She is with us. Eight make 1 team, but nine make a family, and I have no intention of allowing Y/n to worry that she is anything but a blessing to our bond. Who is with me?”

Going on stage, the boys greet the Atinys, who are able to get special tickets for the show. It took everything for them not to make a beeline for the section you were in. They had discussed it as they walked to the stage to keep the same placements as the night before. 

However, Seonghwa, San, and Mingi couldn’t help but look for you immediately. Their hearts beat fast as they searched the crowd of screaming fans, only to have it skip a beat or three when they finally found you. 

You had dolled up a bit by adding some light makeup, put your hair up in a half-up, half-down style, and were wearing their tour hoodie from their Break The Wall Tour last year.

Mingi ended up pointing and waving to you, and the Atiny around you got excited at the idols' attention to their section. They smiled when they saw you shy away from their attention as you looked around momentarily before joining in the smiles and waves.

Hongjoong pulls the members forward to greet Atiny with their step out, asks some basic questions to engage the fans, and then gets the soundcheck on the road. Since this is their second show, the sound check is just for Atiny, as nothing needs to be adjusted. They start by running through Dreamy Day and Work. The members aren’t doing the full-out choreography, but each member can’t seem to go through a whole song without dancing some part of it.

When it comes time for the last soundcheck song, Hongjoong has noticed that you know some of the moves to the songs but are doing them more or less to yourself because everyone else around you is focused on singing or recording them. Wanting to give you a chance to dance, Hongjoong pulls out his Captain’s card.

“Wow,” he exclaimed. One thing I have noticed is we have a lot of good singers out here, but do you all know how to dance?” The crowd went wild as usual. Glancing over at you, Hongjoong and Yeosang noticed you were screaming along with them.

“Let’s see… Seonghwa,” the captain pulls the eldest soulmate’s attention, “Do you think you can show a little move of the next song?”

Smiling, Hwa moves forward a bit, saying, “I think Atiny really loves this move.” Rolling his hips with an outward fist, he pulls off the most basic version of the driving dance from Say My Name, causing all of Atinies present to go even wilder. As he turns, moving back to his space, his eyes land on you and note that you are moving along with him, making him smile even more. 

Mingi, Yunho, and Wooyoung look slightly irritated at the Captain for asking Atiny to dance because they are concerned that if you knew the song's moves, you would aggravate your injured ankle. Yunho turns in time to catch you moving along with Seonghwa and shakes his head. 

San has decided that avoiding the side of the stage you are on is best and looks the other way. He tries to keep Atiny happy and clueless about their internal struggles as they fall into their Idol mindset. 

The rest of Ateez do their best to fill in the gaps, moving around the stage and ensuring that all of Atiny gets attention. Yeosang still finds time to sneak you a smile or a wink, while Jongho mostly sticks to the middle of the stage. His internal excuse is his need to focus on the notes when he is actually trying to control his fear of showing because he knows there will be so many uploads of this to YouTube before the show even starts.

Once the song starts, the bonded soulmates kick in gear and dance to it at about 50% energy because it is just a soundcheck. Mingi is the least active of all the members as he goes through the motions but doesn’t change his level or hit extensions for several reasons. He is still feeling your pain, and he is too busy watching you under his sunglasses to ensure you don’t overdo it. 

By the song's end, the eight members have pumped themselves up as much as possible for the show. Pulling some last-minute screams and cheers from the crowd, the boys do one more step up and head backstage to prepare for the opening song. 

Each member, even Jongho, finds you in the crowd before they leave the stage to let you know that they are aware you are here and satisfy their worries about you enjoying a second night at their show. 

When Seonghwa can peel his eyes off of your form in the multitude of Atiny, he jogs down the ramp and right to his makeup chair because he knows that he will be the quickest to fix since his skin is naturally smooth and doesn’t need much attention. His mind is right; he is focused on this performance being for you, showing you that he can simultaneously be an idol and your soulmate.

Mingi, however, was the first off-stage and immediately went to their manager. “Manager-nim?” he interrupts. “Can you send something to her and her friends for me?

The manager’s face has a sly smile as he teases, “Let me guess Mingi bias merch package.”

Grinning with the tips of his ears turning red, he says, “She has San stuff on her bag, and I don’t know what she might have gotten yesterday other than our tour sleeveless tank, but I noticed she wasn’t wearing our tour sweater.”

“Yeah, she was wearing one from last year,” Jongho comments. 

“So you do notice her!” Yeosang says, poking the youngest’s side, which earns him a glare before Jongho moves to the wardrobe area. Turning back to Mingi, Yeo asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I am asking manager-nim if he can send a merch package to Y/n,” answers the giant. 

“Mingi-ssi and Yeosang-ssi, the VIP sections already will be getting a clear drawstring bag, postcard set, portable charger with flashlight, fan, and deck of gold-embossed playing cards. What else would she need from you?” asks their manager.

“A newer sweater? She had on last year's tour sweater on. I hope she wasn’t at one of the shows last year,” answers Yeosang, causing the manager to look confused.

Tilting his head like the answer is clear as day, Yeosangs explains, “If she was at an earlier show and we didn’t feel her at that show…”

“Then it is going to be that much harder to convince her that she is really ours at this show,” says San, finishing Yeosang’s thoughts and seeing the understanding come to the manager. 

“That… she had to have gotten it from a store. There is no way we wouldn’t have felt her before now, especially Hyung,” Mingi says with deep determination. Turning back to the manager, he says, “Add a beanie and a sweater to the VIP bag, please?”

The manager nods, pulling out his phone to text the request to the merch handlers to bring over before he gets a tap on his shoulder. Looking back at Mingi with a questioning face, Mingi’s ears get redder as he leans closer to whisper his request, “umm… can you add my picket so she knows who it’s from?”

Shaking his head, the manager adds the Mingi picket to the request list and shows it to the blushing Ateez member before he sends it over. “Mingi-ssi, Mathew will let me know when she gets it. I will also make sure her two friends get the VIP bag so she doesn’t stand out too much.”

“Oh, smart thinking. Maybe send a beanie to them, too. It’s supposed to be a cold night, and those two are important to Y/n, which means they are important to us,” smiles Mingi. 

“Got it, now go! You have only five minutes before you have to be in position,” playfully scolds the manager. The sounds of BE:First, they finally reach Mingi’s ears, and off he goes to get ready to show the world that he is ready for everything the world has to throw at him—including you.

Making it through the concert's start was just like any other concert. Atiny was screaming, singing, dancing, and bringing enough energy to light up the whole city from BMO alone. Even the BBTRIPPIN members seemed extra sharp and high-voltage for tonight’s show.

Seonghwa and San could feel your bond thrum to the music as you got lost in being at the concert. After the first few songs, the two shared a look as they went backstage during a scene change.

“Do you feel that?” asked San.

Smiling, Seonghwa answered, “So it wasn’t just me. You can feel it when she changes with each song right?”

San nods while Seonghwa hops in place. “This means we can learn which songs she likes the most. This feeling was stronger during Say My Name and Work, right?”

“What was stronger?” asks Mingi with his hands on his hips, trying to figure out why they are so happy. 

“Y/n, with the bond, we can tell which songs she reacts to,” explains Hwa. “We felt it during the soundcheck and again with Guerrilla. I think it’s when she knows or likes the songs.”

Looking at San, Mingi asks, “You can feel it, too?”

“Yeah, but it isn’t enough to distract us or anything,” answers San. “I wonder which song will be her favorite?”

Hearing their cue with the pop-locking music for their traveling dance crew, the three find their positions for the next series of songs. Yeo, Woo, Captain, and Yunho are already waiting with the makeup noonas fussing over minor makeup corrections. San barely makes it in time for his solo dance entrance as the rest ready their capes. 

When it comes time for the opening-ments, they each greet Atiny like they did the night before, but when they mention the night before or being happy for a second night, the soulmates can’t help but look your way because, to them, you are the deciding factor of just how great this stop will be. The only downside is none of them can see you past the glaring lights shining on them. Seonghwa and San are the only ones who have any indication that you are enjoying the show.

The show goes smoothly without any hiccups. 

Mingi sees you waving his picket during his solo rap, letting him know his little care package was received. The smile on your face and the lack of pain he feels is the only evidence he has that you are in a good place right now. 

Yeosang feels an extra pull from you at the start of It’s You, which makes him almost break character and laugh. He is well aware of how much Atiny enjoys that song, and it certainly isn’t for the melody. The lyrics and how they can now relate to you make him want to laugh. At that point, he decides to sing this song for you, to you, and about you.

Yunho, Hongjoong, Wooyoung, and Jongho are doing their best to be present. Keep their minds from wandering about how you are doing, what you talked about with your friends, and what will happen tomorrow. 

It’s about halfway through the show when Jongho is singing his solo, and he somehow sees you in the crowd. Your eyes are drilling into him. Knowing that he can sing this song in his sleep, he closes his eyes and reaches out to you with his ability, testing the waters to see if he can feel anything from you. 

It’s like a water spout comes, throwing him into a whirlwind of emotions as his ability pulls them into himself. The ability to absorb is devouring the confusion, shame, anxiety, uncertainty, and heartache coming from you. Walking down the stairs at the end of his song, he can’t help but find you again as his heart flutters, and he can no longer fight against it– you are his ladymate.

Walking backstage, Jungho collapses into Seonghwa’s awaiting arms. The suddenness pulls them both to the ground, causing everyone but Wooyoung to run to their side. Kneeling around the youngest, they hear him mumbling something as he gasps deep, uneven breaths. 

“San, get his wardrobe change. Joong-ah and Mingi-ah get everyone not bonded away. Yun, he needs an anchor,” Seonghwa calls out directions. Looking directly at Wooyoung, Hwa nods slowly, saying, “He will be fine. Go out for your solo; we will be there on time.”

Leaning down into Jongho’s face, Hwa can see that he isn’t crying but is within himself. Passing him to Yunho, Hwa steps back, looks toward Hongjoong with a frown, and says, “I think he may have finally found his connection to her but it isn’t a happy one.”

A few more seconds pass as the soulmates watch their big bear bring their little bear back into the present. Jongho’s breathing stabilizes, and the mumbled words stop before he looks around and finds San. 

Standing up and rushing to the older soulmate, Jongho hugs him and says, “I am so sorry, Hyung. I wanted to keep us safe. I didn’t want to fight with you, but she was empty. It was like she was hollow, and now I know why. She has walls, so many walls.”

Hearing the music change, they all jump as the time between sets runs out, and Hongjoong steps forward, asking, “Are you okay with continuing?”

“Yeah,” answers the youngest soulmate. “I got this. If she can live with that for who knows how long, I can live with it for the rest of tonight. Yunnie-hyung’s anchor helped.”

The rest of the show becomes a blur, as always. Heightened emotions, the heartfelt ending-ments, and the encore all come too fast as the second night in LA comes to a close. However, the night isn’t over for Ateez as they still have to go through their send-off, head back to the hotel, and see where the night takes them.

Jongho is peering through the cracks that give him the slighted view of where you would have to pass to be seated for the send-off when the manager's voice comes from behind, “She won’t be there.”

Spinning around, Jongho exclaims, “What do you mean?! She left?!” Jongho’s voice carried enough to draw the attention of the others, who were now approaching the two with variations of concern.

“No, she didn’t leave. I can still feel her line, she has to be close,” answers Yeosang. “Where is she going though?”

“For her safety, she is going to one of the vans with her friends and their security team,” informs the manager.

Ease falls over the bonded soulmates, each loving you just a little more for your desire to be fair and considerate to others you don’t know. Hongjoong says, “Then let us not keep our Atiny waiting and get through the send-off like we always do. Once we are done, we will go back to the hotel. San, Seonghwa, and Jongho should ride with Y/n and her friends. The rest of us will go in the other van, and security can take their regular positions.”

Making their way through the send-off feels like the longest part of the night but is, in all truth, shorter than the soundcheck. Atiny are smiling, laughing, snapping pictures, and getting autographs from their bias. Unknown to them, their bias is only focused on the Atiny soulmate in the van at the end of the long line of endless people. 

Hongjoong, Mingi, Yunho, Wooyoung, and Yeosang enter the first van. Their energies are still bubbling with the adrenaline of another completed show. Are they exhausted? Yes, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t buzzing. 

“How do you think she liked the show tonight?” asked Mingi. “I know people follow us like roadies on tours, but she hadn’t planned on going to both shows.”

Running his hand along Mingi’s arm, Yunho teasingly says, “She was enjoying herself. I could see her waving your face around like she was trying to extinguish a fire.” A warm blush graces Mingi’s face.

“She did seem to enjoy her care package, Mingi,” adds Hongjoong. His mind is trying to find a way to see into the van behind them. He wants to know where you are at now. Have you started to accept them? All of them? 

Is that why Jongho was able to collect your emotions? Is that why Hwa and San were mumbling about your reactions to songs? Is that why you decided to come tonight?

Curling into his soulmate’s side, Wooyoung whispers into Yeosang’s ear, “Hyung, did you see her smile during your dance? She couldn’t take her eyes off you. She practically ignored me and San during ‘It's You’.” 

Woo knows how easily flustered Yeo can get despite his on-stage persona. However, all the bonded soulmates know how passionate he can get behind closed doors. Placing a soft kiss at the dip behind Yeosang’s ear, Wooyoung comments, “May be she would enjoy a private dance?”

Blushing and biting his bottom lip, Yeosang nods. The thought of you accepting them and allowing for moments like that spike his emotions. The plaited silk rope tugged his chest the more he thought about giving you that private dance. He is happy that you are not in the same van right now. He is known for his control, but at the same time, he knows that soulmates with fated birthing dates have a unique bond, and he cannot wait to explore where that leads the two of you. 

A soft growl is heard as Hongjoong’s eyes close with his deep breath. “Yeo, baby, your scent is warming. As much as we are all on an energy high, we can’t do that right now. We have more pressing matters.”

Jabbing Wooyoung in the ribs and muttering playful threats, Yeosang apologizes to his leader, “I am sorry, hyung. I will be good. I don’t want to mess any of this up.”

“Speaking of messing things up,” interrupts Yunho. “Do you think Jongho is okay now? Will the two of them be able to work things through now? He is on board now, right?”

“I hope so. It’s one of the reasons why I had him go in her van. It will give them time to talk or feel each other out,” explains Hongjoong. “I just hope it’s not too late.”

When they arrived, the hotel garage was practically empty; however, that was not the case, and they were now a skeleton crew of makeup, wardrobe, and sound team running around. While parking, Wooyoung received a text from San telling him to bring everyone to the ballroom.

Spotting San pacing near a side entry, Hongjoong all but stormed over to him, “What is going on?”

“She didn’t get to see her favorite song,” answered San, like that explained everything. 

Watching the controlled chaos around them, over half of Ateez was still lost. Soon, the door behind San opened, and Seonghwa and Jongho, dressed in purple costumes, and their manager came out. Confusion still graced Wooyoung and Mingi’s faces as the light of realization dawned on Hongjoong, Yunho, and Yeosang. 

“Are we changing in there? Where is she?” asked Yeosang, already moving into the small impromptu green room. 

“She is in her room. Her young friend Kat knows Korean, apparently, and helped us plan this. We don’t have much time,” answers Hwa, pushing the rest of his soulmates to get ready. “We have a show to perform.”

Letting out a laugh, Wooyoung rushes after Yeosang, yelling, “Hey, you might get to do that private dance afterall!”

“Is this a good idea?” asks Mingi. 

Pulling his gentle giant along, Hongjoong says, “We won’t know until the end. Until then, she should see that being our soulmate means that while we are Idols who perform for the world to see, our eyes are only on her.”

“Gag. That was gag-worthy, and we still need to sing, hyung,” Jongho says, rolling his eyes at the producer. “Now, please, go get ready.”

Getting ready, the tour team kept their lips sealed and didn’t outwardly ask why they were doing this sudden mini-show, but then again, their contracts have a very detailed NDA that came with a hefty bonus when something soulmate-related happened. 

Seonghwa, San, and Jongho explained that they found out you had missed seeing them perform one of your favorite songs both nights in a row, and you were sad that there was a song they didn’t perform. It was Jongho’s idea to do the mini-show for you so that you would be content and happy when you went to sleep. 

They had a set list ready and would sing to their instrumental or acapella. The boys are ready and waiting in the darkened ballroom with nerves stronger than anything they have felt in a long time. It’s a good thing; they have all agreed because they want you to be theirs more than anything else. 

“Ready on stage,” whisper, shouts their temporary stage manager.

It’s maybe ten seconds later that the ballroom door opens, and the sound of your laughter spills in as you walk in, looking behind you, saying, “You would have thought Yunho was doing more than dancing on the stage with how loudly she was losing her shit over him standing there.”

When you face the front, you freeze at seeing the single chair in the ballroom lit by a spotlight. The bonded soulmates can see you try to squint to see in the darkness before you turn back to see your two friends and their manager standing just inside the door. 

“Remember everything we talk about in the hotel room,” smiles Cindy. “Dave completes me. You deserve to be complete, too.”

Your friend Kat walks forward, taking you by the hand, and they guide you to the chair. “Eight of them can be overwhelming, but I believe each holds a piece of your soul that you lost when it shattered.”

“I have known these boys for more than anyone else, and I have never seen a more dedicated soulmate group in my life, Miss Y/n,” their manager adds. “Listen with your heart to what they have planned.”

With that, the three left the ballroom. The lights went out, and it was time for the boys to convey their longing for you to accept their bond and give them a chance. 

Stepping to his microphone stand, Mingi starts singing an acapella version of Star 1117 as the floor lights come up. He focuses his eyes on you as he pours his soul into his words. Hongjoong and he know they wrote the song for Atiny. The title lends to the day the name Atiny was picked out and focuses on looking to the stars for love. It’s Ateez’s wish that they can look to you as their star in love and you can trust them to protect you forever as their star.

The next song starts sounding through the ballroom speakers as the members pull their microphones off and gather closer to you. Seonghwa takes the middle with Jongho as they serenade you with Light. Jongho, who wasn’t on board in the first place, uses this song to express he finally has realized that the nine of you are meant to be one.

By this time, the boys can see you are fighting back tears. Seonghwa and San feel the energy flowing through your partial bond with them, making it harder for them to finish the song without crying. Yeosang can feel your plaited silk rope pull and release as you sway to the song. He has felt it before, but now it’s almost as if he can see it linking the two of you. 

Quick steps are made as the eight Idols find their place before an upbeat synthesizer starts. Yunho starts the song with a smile when he sees your eyes light up. They haven’t performed this song in a while, but the bonded soulmates wanted to perform their song Promise because it is their promise never to leave you alone. It made their hearts light when they would notice you mouthing along with the words, doing the hand choreography, or wiping a straying teardrop from your cheek.

It was time for the final song, and the squeal you let out once they got into their starting positions made Wooyoung and Hongjoong chuckle. It was a song that Atiny took many different ways, but for the situation between the nine of you, it was about having you get out of the cold and darkness of being alone in the world and allowing Ateez to become your warmth and light.

The moment your friend announced the day your life came to a screeching halt was the first time since they found you in the garage that you finally had no eyes on you. While it gave you a chance to breathe, it also felt odd. 

Taking the chance to look around, you notice the shock on their faces as they stare at Cindy like she has grown another head. Clearly, the news of your past was not what they expected to hear. It’s rare to hear of someone having a dead soulmate and living to tell the tale. 

“I know this may seem like a stupid question, but” Jongho starts to speak before he is interrupted by Wooyoung.

“No, no. Let’s start with a non-stupid question… what do you mean Y/n has a soulmate already?” asks the worldwide playboy. 

Looking at Cindy and Kat, you beg them with your eyes not to be the one to explain what happened. A wave of guilt, heartache, and failure is starting to crush your chest. It had been a while since you had thought about the events of that day. 

It’s Kat who finally starts telling the beginning of your devastating story. You resign to an understanding that the eight men around you will change their thoughts of being your soulmates if they know all the details. 

“Darren Donahue. Y/n and Darren were instant friends when she transferred to our school in the middle of 3rd grade. They were inseparable all through the rest of elementary school and into high school,” says Kat.

Your mind supplements Kat’s regaling with images of Darren with his natural blonde hair in a cut like Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. His almond-shaped crystal-blue eyes always held his emotions clearer than the night sky. He was always shorter than you, but that was his appeal to you. He was pocket-sized, and although short, he held a strength that could rival anyone, especially if you were in danger. Unfortunately, that determination was his ultimate weakness. 

“After growing up with soulmates as parents,” Kat continues. “I had an innate understanding of how to spot soulbonds or possibilities. It was resoundingly clear that there was a potential bond between them. Darren was a year older than Y/n when he turned 18 and could finally connect with his soulmate if he had one… but he never even looked.”

“Darren had asked Y/n’s mom to take her out for her 18th birthday. By that time, he had told several of us that his heart knew she would be his,” said Cindy as she squeezed your thigh. “All of us were supportive because we all agreed. Sure, there was a chance that we were all wrong. Ever since… we kind have wished we were.”

All you could do was shrink under the weight of the words Cindy left unsaid. You can remember happily agreeing to dinner at Caza De Pizza and catching ‘Now You See Me 2’ afterward. The movie was set to be over right around midnight. You were so excited to see if you and your family were correct in thinking that Darren was your soulmate. Now you wish you had waited to find out at school on Wednesday morning. 

Your dark thoughts are interrupted when Hongjoong calls your name, asking, “Y/n, how did you know that Darren was your soulmate? Did you bond?” 

Nodding, you put up your arm and rest it on the table to show a long, lightening-like, ragged scar running along your inner elbow from the middle of your forearm to just above your elbow. “He was with me at midnight when I turned 18. I gained my soulmate ability to feel emotions right away, but I don’t know what he was because we never got to...” your voice cuts out as the ghost of his death engulfs your body.

It wasn’t just the pain of his death that haunted you but the joy of seeing your soulmate mark form on your arm as proof that you were his. The avalanche of love, devotion, passion, and pride came with it, and you quickly realized it wasn’t just your emotions but also Darren’s. 

However, those happy feelings lasted for about five seconds before you were shoved to the side, and a piercing pain tore through your chest that caused you to look up from the mark to watch as blood pooled from his chest. Your memories of that night are always silent, never hearing the gunfire, the screams of you and the witnesses, and the lost words mumbling from Darren’s lips as the burn of a soulmate dying floods your system at his last breath.

San's rapid movement brings you back to the present as he practically growls at his manager, “We can’t leave her right now. It won’t be suitable for any of us. Things are already strained as they are.”

With an epic side eye given to you from Jongho, he says, “San-hyung, we don’t understand what is happening. It could be stress and timing that is causing all of this.” 

It didn’t surprise you that one of them was already against you, adding to their well-rounded soulmate bond after it had been formed for years. What shocks you is that San looks like he is about to start a round of fisticuffs with his already-bonded soulmate.

“Excuse me?!!?” demands San, turning his attention to Jongho. 

This isn’t good. Fighting isn’t good for bonds, much less for a world-famous K-pop band that must leave to perform for thousands of fans like they did last night. “Go,” you say with as much strength as you can.

Looking briefly at San as he stares down the youngest member, you try to explain, “You need to be there for Atiny tonight just like you were there for us last night. I cannot be the reason for anything that affects the show or makes you all late. You did fine without me before. It’s not like I will be any help now.”

A slight tug on your chest comes before Yeosang says, “Things have changed, Y/n. You made contact with San-ah and Seonghwa-hyung, meaning the soul-bonding has started with the two of them and yourself.”

Jongho scoffs at Yeosang’s explanation of how the bond is forming. Hongjoong adds, “Once a soul-bonding starts in a group, it is fragile until the rest of the group bonds. It doesn’t finalize until everyone accepts it, though.”

“You mean she has to follow you around now? Until everyone accepts her and vice versa?” asks Kat. “How will that work and not end up all over Dispatch or TMZ?”

“I can help with that, Miss Kat,” a young man says, stepping up from the corner dressed like he got caught up in the group and doesn’t belong in this meeting. “I am Mathew and I have been assigned to you three as a personal bodyguard for the remainder of your trip.”

“Excuse me?” exclaims Kat. This new guy has already made the mistake of calling Kat a miss, but the question is, why would we need security?

“I will explain later, Kat, before we leave the hotel,” intervenes Cindy, always the mediator. “How can you help?”

Watching the young man as he thinks, you can’t help but notice how much presence he does have. His clothes may make him look like the Emo Guy USA 2024 winner, but you think it is a perfect disguise for someone to be undercover at a concert. 

“Tonight, I was supposed to have the night to watch the concert from the crowd,” the non-security-security guy starts. “If we could get tickets for the three of them seated with me, we could attend the concert and reduce the distance between them all.”

“She would have to be closer than she was last night since the bonding has started,” Mingi says. “Since we cannot have her on stage with us and hiding her backstage will pull the three of us in the wrong direction, she will have to be practically stage side like the photographers or VVIP.”

This is going to be too much. You can’t suddenly have VVIP tickets. Those are limited to the number of seats available. You are about to say something when Seonghwa says, “Y/n, I know that this is probably more than you ever thought you have to deal with, but after tonight’s concert, we don’t have to be at the next stop until Thursday morning. We could sleep on it and talk in the morning?”

Seonghwa’s boba eyes look hopeful and endearing as he waits for your answer, but the ice shooting from Jongho's death stare behind him keeps any words from making it past your throat. Understanding the need to answer your elders, you want to answer. However, the desire to not cause more conflict between the bonded soulmates causes you to turn away from the two.

“I'm sorry, but we really must leave,” their manager quietly says. “What do you ladies want to do?”

“We will go to the concert tonight. I think it has been a lot, and it has all happened a bit too fast,” Cindy answers for the three of you. “Let us talk to her, just us, and we will see you at the concert or afterward. If you could have someone show us our room for tonight, we could talk about things until you want us to go to the concert.”

“Mathew-ssi, please?” orders Hongjoong. 

As Ateez remains quiet and in the room, Mathew, plus a few other guards, escort you, Cindy, and Kat out of the conference room. A few moments later, their manager joins the small gathered group. 

“If you would follow me,” he asks, guiding you to the lobby. “The boys are all on the same floor, the tour entourage is on the floor below, and the security detail is roomed throughout both floors. The floor the boys are on is completely bought out so we will get you keys to one of those rooms.”

Tugging on Cindy’s sleeve, you shake your head to get her to stop this nonsense. She, however, smiles and turns to the manager. “That would be great! I think we can make do with one room as long as there are two beds.”

“Cindy!” you hiss. Kat takes your arm and pulls you along to the elevator, humming some song with a look of contentment. 

How can Kat look like that when you are going through this!? Why is Cindy letting this go on?! The three of you know this will end badly. They will learn you are damaged goods and realize you are too much to deal with.

“We will wait for you outside,” says the emo boy as he shuts a door. 

Looking around, you noticed you had lost track of time and movement again. You were inside a huge room. It had two queen-sized beds on one side, a walk-in closet, a kitchenette, and a door that you could only assume led to a bathroom that would put yours to shame. 

“Earth to Y/n,” Cindy calls as she sits on one of the couches off to the side with a large TV screen. “What’s going on with that head of yours?”

Making your way to the other couch, you take a moment because where were you? You wanted to run away in the garage but ended up in the conference room. You got lost in what happened all those years ago, and now you were supposed to see night two at BMO stadium with eight Korean Idols claiming to be your soulmate… well, seven.

“I… I don’t know,” you finally answer.

Kat sits beside Cindy before saying, “This isn’t going to be easy, Y/n. Having second-chance soulmates is nearly impossible, but this is a chance for you to be happy again. It’s been eight years since it happened.”

“Yeah, eight years since someone murdered my soulmate instead of me,” you cut in. “Eight years since Darren got shot because they thought it would be a good idea for an initiation. It… it..”

“It also has been eight years since you survived, Y/n,” adds Cindy. “You had the bond, mark, and death of your soulmate happen in less than a minute. It takes a strong person to live through that. It is also a strong person that would be able to handle a bond with eight other people, especially as their focus.”

The thought of being the focus of a bonded soulmate group didn’t even cross your mind. Being a focus was more than just being another soulmate in a bond. The point of a focus was to keep the bond together. If something happened to a group bond’s focus, then…

“Don’t go to the bad things first, Y/n,” Cindy interrupts your spiraling thoughts. “Being a focus isn’t a bad thing. In a typical bond, like Dave and I, we complete each other. What Ateez has is like a ship without a sail; they have all the parts to float and keep their heads above the water, but they need their focus soulmate, you, to set sail and discover what the world has waiting for them.”

“But I am a tattered sail,” you mumble. “I would only flap in the wind like a flag instead of giving them strength to ride the waves. Like, going to the concert tonight… why are we going? If this whole thing is true won’t they be too distracted by the pull to perform right?”

A knock on the wall brings your attention to the personal security guard emo guy. “We have secured your tickets. We will enter with the soundcheck VVIPs for security purposes but leave before the send-off. I took the liberty of obtaining some basic cosmetics and other toiletries if you wanted to be more concert-like. My sister always says concert wear and day wear are two different animals.”

Kat stands up and retrieves the bag from the guy, saying, “Thank you, Mathew. How much time do we have before we have to leave?” 

“About an hour,” he responds before nodding and leaving.

Pawing through the bag, Kat hums in approval. “Well, I think you have men ready to accept fate with arms wide open. This is a chance for you to live how you were supposed to live all those years ago. Besides,” Kat pulls out a pallet of eyeshadows, “if getting Cle de Peau Beaute is considered basic makeup then sign me up in your place. PLLLEEEAAASSSEEE”

You laugh at Kat’s love for expensive things, but it does catch your attention. You may only sometimes be on point with knowing most couture designers, but you were the go-to among your friends and coworkers when it came to makeup, and Cle de Peau Beaute lipstick alone can run over $100. 

The following 45 minutes are spent looking up the prices of what was in the bag, trying not to gag at the $270 1 oz foundation that matched your skin tone, and accepting that you would be treated like something precious.

When the three of you were in yet another van, you didn’t look like you were crying just a few hours ago, and you felt like someone who could afford the VVIP tickets you were being gifted. Mathew, the emo guy, went over some safety things– like he was a friend of Kat’s, but Ji-ho and Ha-Joon were friends of Mathew’s, and no one was supposed to leave the group alone. 

Arriving at BMO was strange because you were brought in what you learned was the artist entry and taken to your seats just as the other VVIPs were being let in for the soundcheck. To the surprise of the three of you, you had excellent front-row seats at the bridge area off the other side of where you were last night. This meant you wouldn’t have to deal with people blocking your view but also that you didn’t have anyone to hide behind.  

“Stop your thinking and enjoy,” scolds Cindy. “They are big boys. They know the difference between work and play. Right now, it’s time for them to work. You’ll see.”

The next moment, you become deaf as the girl behind you cuts loose a scream like she was getting eaten by a shark. Following her line of sight, the boys take the stage, and the world around you narrows to just them. 

First out is the flirt master Wooyoung, in black jeans and a black tank top. San looks like a professor with his dress pants and white button-up. Yeosang follows with blue jeans and a tucked-in tour sleeveless shirt to show off his tiny waist and muscular physique without trying too hard. Jongho looks like he is going to the mall with his dark pants and jean oversized shirt with straps hanging everywhere. Hongjoong is the epitome of the Beverly Hills dad in the world with his cuffed jeans and black and white Art Deco flowered shirt. Yunho went boyfriend-coded with what looks like a Michigan State jacket and baggy pants. Mingi makes your jaw drop in his black-on-black with silver jewelry and looks like the complete fuck boi. Last comes Seonghwa, with his effortless black tee shirt and sand-washed jeans and his hair in a pony, as if he didn’t spend 30 minutes with someone making sure each hair was in the right place. 

The boys go to the bridge and greet the Atinys for the soundcheck. You noticed that Seonghwa, San, and Mingi found you as they went to their places. Only Mingi waved, and the Atiny around you got excited like he just threw money at them. You couldn’t help but blush at his attention because outside of you, Cindy, Kat, Mathew, Ha-Joon, and Ji-ho, no one else knew it was meant for you.   

The soundcheck ended up different from what you expected. They wandered almost aimlessly around, singing songs and waving to the crowd. The choreography wasn’t consistently done. None of the men on the stage could help but move out of muscle memory or get the crowd riled up occasionally. You couldn’t help but sing along to the parts you knew and dance with Kat, your resident K-pop Dance challenge master. 

When the eight gathered again, you figured it was over, and it was time to take your seat. However, Hongjoong seems to have other ideas. “Wow,” he exclaimed. “One thing I have noticed is we have a lot of good singers out here, but do you all know how to dance?” 

The crowd went wild as usual, including you and Kat. You were hoping the next song was one you could dance to without looking like a newborn deer or a lost child. 

“Let’s see… Seonghwa,” the captain calls the eldest soulmate out of the lineup, “Do you think you can show a little move of the next song?”

The other six members' reactions confuse you because they all look like this wasn’t part of the original plan. The stage crew is talking rapidly into walkie-talkies, as Hwa says, “I think Atiny really loves this move.” 

The moment Seonghwa pulls the most stilted version of the driving dance, all of Atiny's present goes even wilder, and the crew starts running around like chickens with no heads. You and Kat move along with him as you try to remember the song's name to which it goes. 

Over the screams, Kat leans into and says, “It’s from Say My Name. Mathew says Captain is going off script by adding this song, which isn’t unusual.” You nod to let Kat know you hear them, and the two of you dance to the song as much as you can since it is one of your favorites. 

When it comes to an end, it is a simple see you later from the boys as they go backstage to get ready for the night. Taking your seat, you look around at how some other Atiny have dressed this time. You are happy that you are at least wearing a tour sweater and got a chance to spruce yourself up. Part of you wished that the boy could have seen you in your pirate-themed outfit from yesterday, but at the same time, you were glad they didn’t.

“Excuse me, are you Miss Y/n?” A man approaches you and is abruptly cut off by Ha-Joon.  Stepping back, the man looks at you and Ha-Joon before continuing, “I was informed that some of our VVIPs didn’t get their exclusive merch bags. Two regular and one special.”

Taking the bags, Ha-Joon has a smirk on his face when he turns around. He hands the two clear bags that match the rest of the VIPs around you to Cindy and Kat, then hands you another that doesn’t match. Kat and Cindy start pulling out tiny things from their bags. The first thing you must pull out of the bag is a new tour hoodie, followed by a matching beanie. Dropping the bag on your seat, you immediately pull off the hoodie you got from Facebook Marketplace and put on the new one.

“Hey, ours didn’t come with those,” teases Kat, pointing at the sweater before she reaches into the bag and pulls out a Mingi picket. “Huh, Seonghwa had better watch his place as your bias because Mr. Song here seems to be starting with the spoiling part.”

You blush at the thought. Sitting down, you take the picket and look at the image of Mingi, remembering his determination during the meeting to keep you close to the eight of them. He hasn’t even touched you to initiate the soulmate bond, but he looks and reacts as if the bond is already complete. Is this what it means to have a soulmate and to be their focus?

You were happy that Be:First opened for Ateez again so you could see them this time. You loved their collaboration. It was a unique way of blending the two groups while keeping them as their own. You didn’t know any of their other songs, so you sat through their set and enjoyed the ebb and flow.

BBTRIPPIN came out and started the show. Because BMO screwed up, you had missed seeing their dance sequence, but it was not surprising how good they were. What surprised you was the Dark Knight costumes the boys wore as they entered the stage. You couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter at how the color accented their skin tone and made them look like a force to be reckoned with. 

When Crazy Form kicked off, the three of you were on your feet, moving, grooving, and badly singing in Korean. The thoughts of these eight men began to fade into the background. Having the other Atiny with you and seeing how engrossed the bonded group was with their performances, opening-ments, and each other let you remain a fan in the crowd. 

You missed the lingering glances, the minor angle changes, and the special words the boys had meant for you and you alone. You focused more on enjoying the complementary waters and snacks in the bottom of your bags. Luckily, Mathew had also thought ahead and brought you some pain medications. 

What you didn’t miss was the look from the Atiny who saw the extra things in your bag, the teasing smirks from your friends, or the great view of Ateez’s asses during Halazia. While the view was ass-tronomical, you were happiest seeing the musicality flow through their being. 

It’s about halfway through the show when Jongho is singing his solo. You knew his voice was beautiful and underrated by so many before Hongjoong stole him away. Listening to the youngest member of the bonded soulmates' serenade made you think about how hard you cried when you looked up the English translation. You ended up playing it on a loop for days, thinking of how Darren was supposed to be your everything and what you wouldn’t give to see him just once more. 

You couldn't look away as Jongho sang the song from the top of the staircase, expecting the tears to fall again and the darkness to take over. As you watched him, it felt like every negative feeling was being taken away. The turbulence and apprehension from today, the internal ridicule, agony, and disgrace of your past, were just gone.

Watching Jongho walk down the stairs at the end of his song, you know he can see you in the crowd. The look in his eyes isn’t one you have seen from him before. Only Seonghwa, San, and Mingi have looked at you like this, and it makes you want to follow him backstage to learn what it means. Your heart skips a beat as he holds your gaze just a second longer before he turns away. 

The stage lights change and the music starts for Wooyoung’s piece, drawing everyone's attention to the island at the end of the bridge. You, however, are left with a calm sense of emptiness as you watch the stage door. The sounds of the concert are gone, and all that is left is the sound of your heartbeat. It’s the first time that you start to believe that maybe, just maybe– they were right. 

You attempt to enjoy the rest of the show, but you can’t help but study the eight men on the stage. How well they complement each other shows that they must have polarizing abilities. The light in their eyes allows anyone, Atiny or not, to know they are living their dream and not being forced on stage. 

So, where would you fit in as the odd woman out?

“Excuse me, Miss? We have to go to the van now,” Ji-Ho instructs as Atiny starts to make their way out of the stadium. You nod and follow. Kat and Cindy have already figured something must have happened as they can see the wheels turning in your head. 

Mathew comes up to the front with you and explains that for safety reasons, the three of you will not be at the send-off, but due to the strain of having you separate from the already bonding soulmates, you will be traveling together. He leads you through what feels like a maze of metal under the stage and behind some fake walls before coming out a side door and to the vans. You can tell you are close to the send-off because of the deafening screams, and the pull on your chest seems lighter. 

Inside the van, you notice two rows of bench seats, one slightly shorter than the other,  and two captain’s chairs in the back, causing you to pause. “Umm, where should we sit?” you ask. 

“I didn’t know you could get vans with… seven seats in the back,” comments Kat before she jumps in and heads to the far back bench. 

You go to follow, only to have Cindy push your butt onto the short bench. “Nope,” she says, wagging her finger when you scowl at her. “You have at least two joining us, and you need to sit with them.”

You are about to reply when a single scream of “MINGI MARRY ME” hits a new level you never thought possible. The three of you burst out laughing as you watched the newly propositioned Idol run out of the stadium and into the first van, followed by Hongjoong, Yunho, Wooyoung, and Yeosang.

Mathew silently laughs as he sits with Cindy and Kat in the back row, leaving the bench seat with you and the two captain chairs for San, Seonghwa, and Jongho. The three of them walk to the van, to you, at a more measured pace, and they pin you in your seat with their eyes. 

You scoot to the far side of the bench seat, making room for San to take the seat next to you as he was the one who reached the door first, but to your surprise, he sat in the captain’s chair in front of you. Seonghwa took the other captain’s chair. Leaving Jongho to sit next to you, his eyes never leaving yours as you looked at the two bonding soulmates. 

You can hear a ‘hmph’ from behind you and know you weren’t the only one taken back by the seating choice. However, that is the only sound made as the door shuts and the van returns to the hotel. You can feel that someone is looking at you, but you can feel the tension more than ever.

“Miss Y/n, did you enjoy the show?” asks Jongho, breaking the silence. 

Looking at him, you suck in a breath, thinking of an answer. His eyes search yours as if he is asking about something more than the show. “Mr. Choi,” you start, then blanch, looking at San, who is also a Mr. Choi.  “Ahh.. Younger Mr. Choi..”

“Jongho, please. Jongho is fine, please,” the younger man says with a smile. Nodding, you glance at Seonghwa to see him smiling softly as well. 

“Jongho-ssi, I enjoyed the show, it was different and I never thought I would ever see a concert that close in my life,” you admit. 

“Different, how?” prods San. “We did the same songs.”

“That’s true, but you wore different clothes.” You can’t help but glance at Seonghwa again with a blush as you remember his leather strap shirt and purple velvet outfit. 

Smirking, Hwa leaned forward, pointed at your clear purse bag, and said, “We agreed to wear the purple because you seem to like that color. Yeosang thought the Dark Knight costumes to open would be appropriate as well.”

Giggling can be heard from the backseat before Kat says, “Oh, that was a great decision. You should reward him for that. Y/n’s favorite color is purple and black, not to mention she has a thing for leather.”

Turning around, you swat at your friend and say through gritted teeth, “Shut! Up!” However, it has the opposite effect, and the two start laughing so much that the rest of the van joins in as you feel your face heat up. 

“I see how it is,” you glare, turning back to Seonghwa. “Mr. Park,” you grin. “If Hongjoong or Yeosang ever need fancams from this weekend, they can reach out to Kat and Cindy respectively.”

“Hey! Why am I getting dragged into this?” exclaims Cindy, which brings in even more laughter and breaks all the tension. 

“To be honest, I want to say thank you for letting us attend again and not shove us in a green room somewhere,” you say after catching your breath. “I was.. I was excited that I could see you all even once.”

“We are glad you could see us too,” adds San. “But why do I feel like there is something else?”

Your eyes widen slightly at the fact he could tell. Looking between the three of them, you finally say, “I wanted to see you sing Star 1117. Well that and I missed seeing you guys dance Halazia last night and then tonight you guys were facing away when you danced it so…yeah..”

The bonded mates look at each other and start muttering in Korean, leaving you out of the loop. They don’t seem particularly upset by their expressions, but they aren’t happy either. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything; keep your mouth shut and not complain. They have been doing this for years, and it isn’t your place to say anything anyway. 

It isn’t until Mathew and Kat jump in that you feel really lost. Glancing back at Cindy, she shrugs at you before leaning forward, “Maybe you should sign up for lessons.”

“Lessons?” Jongho asks, catching what Cindy said. 

Your eyes widen as Cindy says, “If she is going to be your focus, then she needs to learn to communicate with you all.” That catches Seonghwa and San’s attention as the van goes silent.

“You don’t know Korean?” inquires San.

Shaking your head, you answer, “Nope. I only know the typical K-drama watcher quotes. I… ahh, I am new to Korean stuff in general. These two dragged me into K-pop after they realized how bad things got after…”

“So, you are a baby Atiny? That’s awesome! We can teach you so much,” San says with a smile. “Most of us know enough English to get by, but don’t worry, we are all taking lessons, and either we can get you into lessons or teach you ourselves.”

“Hongjoong and San are the best at English,” adds Seonghwa. “If you need help you can always talk to one of them.”

You simply nod. The implications of them already planning a future with you are causing conflict for you. Their explicit acceptance of having another soulmate is a blessing, but accepting that acceptance when you had given up on ever being whole again is hard. 

The rest of the car ride is filled with small conversations, half in English and half in Korean. You tried to participate but just left it to everyone else. Once back at the hotel, you excused yourself quickly to your room with some flimsy excuse of needing the bathroom before the bonded soulmates could get out of the van. 

Cindy and Kat caught up with you in the lobby and picked up their manager along the way. The manager was talking with Cindy about logistics for tomorrow and getting them to their flight, so his presence didn’t bother you. The four of you went to the room you got ready in.

You did find yourself in the bathroom splashing your face with water. The day's weight was on your shoulders, but since Jongho’s song, it hasn’t crushed you like it was in the conference room. Sitting on the toilet, you pull out your phone and look up group soul bonds. 

+ Group soul bonds are believed to be formed because one or more of the soulmates within the group have experienced a trauma or injury to their soul, which causes fractures. The science behind this splintering of the soul is still being researched. + Group soul bonds are bonds between multiple soulmates. It is believed that a group bond can consist of  3 to 25 soulmates. Groups over nine tend to have a looping soul connecting one bonded group to another.  + Group soul bonds consisting of more than four soulmates must have a focus for the group to be considered complete; without the focus, a soulmate group will face mental and emotional damage over time. It is typically the passive ability-enabled soulmates that will fall to these damages sooner rather than later.  + Group soul bond’s focus is considered a central point for bonded soulmates. The name focus is used synonymously with core and heart. The other bonded soulmates must pay close attention to the soulmate who becomes the focus and maintain a consistent or relative closeness. Disconnections or distance from the focus over time will become more tolerable, but it is not recommended to maintain them for extended periods.   

Knock knock knock

“Yo! I am hungry. Get out here and come with us to raid the hotel convenience store,” yelled Kat. 

Closing your phone and tucking it away, you open the door, “You always are hungry. You literally ate like half the snacks from my bag. How can you eat more?” you tease them.

Grabbing your hand, Kat whines, “That was all like sugar stuff that has burnt off by now. You know I can’t sleep well with an empty stomach. Come on, I am sure they will have some kind of protein bar or fruit.”

Rolling your eyes, you take your hand back and start heading to the door. “Fine, but I am not paying, and you owe me coffee in the morning!” you call back, not waiting for anyone to follow you. You don’t see the sneaky smiles on Cindy, Kat, and Ateez’s manager’s face as they quickly follow you.

The elevator conversion is easy as it returns to the concert and all the Atiny outfits, reactions to the boys, and song choices. Their manager is a nice guy, funny too. You wouldn’t think someone with his sense of humor would be an Idol Manager instead of a comedian, but you guess he likes to stay behind the scenes. 

Finally arriving on the correct floor, you follow the manager down the hall to the store. As Cindy makes an impression of one of the Atiny who practically lost her voice from screaming during the encore, you nod thanks to the man holding the door. Walking in, you glance back at her, laughing and saying, “You would have thought Yunho was doing more than dancing on the stage with how loudly she was losing her shit over him standing there.”

When you face the front, you finally notice how dark the room is except for the single spotlit chair. You stop dead in your tracks as you wonder what the hell is going on. 

When you look back and see them standing at the door, Cindy breaks the silence, saying, “Remember everything we talked about in the hotel room. Dave completes me. You deserve to be complete, too.”

Taking your hand and pulling you to the only chair in the room, Kat says, “Eight of them can be overwhelming, but I believe each holds a piece of your soul that you lost when it shattered.”

From behind you, their manager adds, “I have known these boys for more than anyone else, and I have never seen a more dedicated soulmate group in my life, Miss Y/n. Listen with your heart to what they have planned.” 

With that, the three left the ballroom. 

As the lights went on, you sat straight in the chair, your heart beating a million miles a minute. Could you listen with your heart? Were you willing to allow these eight men to try and complete you? Would you be able to handle being their focus? Their heart of the bond?

Soft steps are all you hear before Mingi's unmistakable, rough but soulful voice starts singing without any music, and the floor lights come up. Here they are, all eight of them dressed in your favorite costumes from the shows. You knew they had to be tired after going back-to-back with shows. All you could see was longing, hope, tenderness, and willingness.  

Mingi’s eyes never leave you as he sings one of the most meaningful songs he and Hongjoong have ever written for Atiny. You recognized it immediately as it was one of the first Ateez ballads you had heard. You knew what the song meant from interviews. It was a song about finding love in the stars, finding their destiny, and protecting it– protecting you.

As Star 1117 ends, music fills as the men get closer to you. You brace for the feeling of being cornered to take over you that never comes. The most accepting and closed-off members stand right before you and begin singing a song you had only heard a few times because they performed it on a couple of shows. You don’t know the name, but you can remember words and phrases as they sing: Who are you? We were meant to be one, and the dark knight is shining; we’re shining in it. It takes you back at how honestly Jongho sings his parts; maybe he isn’t closed off at the idea of you anymore. 

Tilting your head back, you try to keep the tears from falling. You may not know Korean, but your heart, mind, body, and soul don’t seem to have the same language barrier. Their energies fill you as they move around you. While you cannot understand what you are feeling, you know the mix of deep emotions is not just emotions of your own. Closing your eyes for just a moment, you remember what your friends said to you – maybe it is time to be complete. 

When you finally look back at the soulmates, they are standing in a formation you haven’t seen in a long time as one of their older songs starts pumping you up and bringing a smile to your face. The song Promise was one of your favorite early songs of the band. When you first heard it, you thought either Hongjoong or Mingi had met their soulmate, and this was a song they wrote in dedication to them. Now you know, while that may have very much been true, they are singing it now to make a promise to you. 

Emotions overwhelm you as you do your best to mouth the words along with them, not wanting to ruin their harmonization with your botched Korean. Happy tears start to fall as you lean into the song and the pressure in your chest, no longer completely frightened by what you think is where the bond will hold to you. 

Thinking the mini-show is over, you watch them all gather in front of you and mill around. It isn’t until they all stop and you notice their positions that you let out a very embarrassing squawk, which turned into a series of ‘oh my god’s and clapping when you heard your absolute favorite song from the show, that you had complained about not seeing well, was about to be danced less than two feet from you. 

It was one of their songs that you knew every word, every move, and you couldn’t believe they would be doing this song for you. This song was the song that pulled you out of your depression after Darren was murdered. The song caught your heart with its words, your eye with their stunning visuals, and your soul with the timber of their voices. 

Midway through the song, you realize what these songs mean to the eight soulmates looking for you to be their focus and their heart, but your mind still has the dark voice telling you that someone like you cannot be strong enough for them. 

However, your soul starts whispering to you, telling you to find guidance with Hongjoong and home in Seonghwa, make Yunho a pillar and Mingi your solace, seek safety from San and security beside Wooyoung, and obtain tranquility through Yeosang and foundation with Jongho.

Maybe you don’t have to be strong enough for them…they have to be strong enough for you.

Previous / Next

Permanent Taglist - OPEN

@bethanysnow @braveangel777 @danielle143 @elliegrace1999 @skyys-universe @reallysparklychaos @stylishhwa @paramedicnerd004 @afangirl91 @psychosupernatural @marvel-potter-1d-korea

Series Taglist - OPEN

@nenefix-on @dimeb29 @fr34k4c1dr41n @roseydipity @juju-227592 @hecateslittlewitchling @sebastianswhore @purplelady85 @cotton-candycloudz @dishakidishakyahn @sakurarukas @lonely-nerd-sodaholic

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 50 – ENDGAME

SERIES: front row seats by Annie D (scaramouche)

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Peggy Rating: M Words: 27,182 Tags: Branching Timelines, Post-Endgame, Canon Compliant

Summary: A Steve/Tony series that follows one of the branching timelines set up by Avengers: Endgame.

Reasons why I love it: This series is everything I never knew I needed. The way it takes the implications of the Endgame ending and spins them to their furthest possible conclusion is so satisfying. I'm in awe of Annie D for coming up with this, because in my head this is canon now. You can't convince me otherwise.

This series consists of:

Something Beautiful

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Peggy Rating: T Words: 5,367 Tags: Alternate Reality, 1940s Branching Timeline, Making Up

Summary: In one universe sideways, it’s 2012 and the Avengers have just defeated Loki and the Chitauri. Steve Rogers, who has been out of the ice for almost ten years, wonders if his retaking the shield for this event was a one-off, or if he’s ready to keep it again. It depends on Tony.

Reasons why I love it: I really, really love how Annie D manages to drop all these little tidbits about how MCU-Steve going back in time changed the reality that this other version of Steve now lives in. The changes feel so organic, and it's all due to the way they're woven into the story without ever dumping exposition on the reader. It's legitimately masterful, and one of the reasons why Annie D's writing never fails to impress me. Definitely read this one, it's so good!

Safest Hands

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Peggy Rating: T Words: 7,080 Tags: Established Relationship, Declarations of Love, Marriage Proposal

Summary: In the one universe sideways, it’s 2016 and the Avengers have fled underground in the wake of what is the worst streak of bad luck they've ever had. Steve, Tony and Natasha are on the run together, and take temporary cover at a friend’s house.

Reasons why I love it: The interactions that Steve has with Grant are so good it kind of makes me mad that this isn't canon. And the absolute trainwreck that is Steve's proposal is so perfect it just feels like everything I love about Stony as a ship. I love this fic to death, along with this entire series!

No Do-Overs

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Peggy Rating: M Words: 10,097 Tags: Permanent Injury, Angst, Schmoop

Summary: In the one universe sideways, it’s 2018 and the Avengers and their allies have just defeated Thanos. Steve and Tony retreat from the limelight to recover, and are visited by an old friend who has an unusual request.

Reasons why I love it: I can't believe just how much this fic patches up all the holes in the MCU's logic about time-travel. It slots so neatly into canon that it's honestly baffling. I will never not think about this verse when watching Endgame now, and I couldn't be happier about it. Give yourself a treat and read this, because you WILL be impressed!

Twice the Groom

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Peggy Rating: T Words: 4,028 Tags: Bittersweet, Canonical Past Character Death, Alternate Reality

Summary: Grant Carter, formerly known as Steve Rogers, attends a wedding.

Reasons why I love it: I'm so happy that we get to see Grant's PoV in this fic. In the rest of the series, the implications of what this branching timeline might mean to him is alluded to, but here we get to see it more explicitly. I especially love his conversation with Bucky and the dorky Stony fluff, oh my god, it's so good. This fic is wonderful, and you should give it a read!

Timestamp: Front Row Seats

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Peggy Rating: G Words: 610 Tags: Multiverse, Canon Divergent, Phase Four

Summary: Steve and Tony may be retired, but they still get called in sometimes. Across universes, even.

Reasons why I love it: Okay, this is the final nail in the coffin – this verse is canon now. I've decided. This is canon and absolutely mandatory reading for any Stony fan. By the power invested in me by absolutely no one, I declare this series an official part of the MCU. Thank me later, and go read it if you haven't already!

[demifiendrsa]

DOOM: The Dark Ages | Official Trailer 1 (4K)

DOOM: The Dark Ages for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, and PC in 2025. It will also be available via Xbox Game Pass.

Title Logo

Screenshots

Overview

Developed by id Software, DOOM: The Dark Ages is the prequel to the critically acclaimed DOOM (2016) and DOOM Eternal that tells the epic cinematic origin story of the DOOM Slayer’s rage. In this third installment of the modern DOOM series, players will step into the blood-stained boots of the DOOM Slayer, in this never-before-seen dark and sinister medieval war against Hell. DOOM: The Dark Ages is a single-player experience that delivers the searing combat and over-the-top visuals of the incomparable DOOM franchise, powered by the latest idTech engine. As the ultimate super weapon of Gods and Kings, shred enemies with devastating favorites like the Super Shotgun while also wielding a variety of new bone-chewing weaponry, including the versatile Shield Saw. Players will tear across the demon-infested battlefields in the vicious, grounded combat the original DOOM is famous for. Take flight atop the new fierce Mecha Dragon and stand tall in a massive Atlan mech as you beat titanic demons to a pulp.

[offender42085]

Post 1149

Devin Sizemore, Oklahoma inmate 828303, born 1994, incarceration intake December 2018 at age 24, sentenced to life

Also, Federal inmate 40600-509, released from federal obligation in June 2022

Murder, Assault and Battery on LEO, Introduction of Weapon/Drugs/Alcohol into Correctional Facility, Possession of Stolen Property

In April 2023, an Oklahoma man was convicted for the second time of killing his toddler daughter, this time following a federal trial that was held after his state conviction was vacated in the wake of a landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision regarding the adjudication of crimes that take place on native tribal lands.

According to court documents, the defendant, Devin Warren Sizemore claimed that he had baptized his 21-month-old daughter Emily Sizemore, but something went wrong. Federal authorities, however, said that he had taken the child for a visit and did not return her to the girl’s mother, Sizemore’s ex-girlfriend.

Officials detailed a fractured family situation. According to a February 2017 report from the Oklahoma Commission on Children and Youth on little Emily’s death, defendant Sizemore had previously been charged with abusing the child’s mother.

“Reportedly the incident occurred in front of Emily Sizemore and the mother had an injury to her head,” the report said. “The OKDHS determined the child to be safe with her mother and substantiated the allegation of Neglect-Exposure to Domestic Violence against the father. The father was arrested for Domestic Violence. The OKDHS recommended the mother obtain a protective order and she declined a Sooner Start [infant and toddler development program] referral.”

Charged in a domestic violence case, Sizemore faced a no-contact order regarding his ex and had been out on bail when he killed Emily in July 2016, authorities said.

According to the federal criminal complaint, Sizemore took Emily from his mother’s home in Krebs, Oklahoma, on July 12, 2016. His mother said that he had “blown up” and took the child, authorities said. She saw him again the next day pushing a stroller with his daughter inside. She tried talking with him, but he said nothing and he continued walking.

On July 14, 2016, Sizemore went the home of Emily’s mother. The woman’s sister spoke with him, according to the complaint.

“Sizemore stated God has brought the storm, God sent him to tell everyone the world was ending and everyone needed to get right with God,” authorities said. “Sizemore stated he had a shield over him and he was God. [The sister] asked Sizemore where Emily was and Sizemore replied Emily was with God.”

Defendant Sizemore’s mother reported Emily and Sizemore as missing to Krebs police. Law enforcement started searching, and when officials found Sizemore, he apparently fled on foot — jumping into a nearby pond and refusing commands to get out.

As officers entered the body of water, they found Emily floating face down.

“As officers moved to render aid to Emily, Sizemore physically fought with officers in the water,” the complaint says. Cops arrested Sizemore. Emily was later pronounced dead, and a medical examiner determined that the toddler had drowned to death.

The next day, Sizemore, after having been given his Miranda warnings, allegedly told an agent of the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation that he took Emily several days before her death, walking around Krebs with her and sleeping in a barn.

According to law enforcement, Sizemore had attempted to perform what he described as a religious ritual on the baby.

“Sizemore put Emily under the water to baptize her for approximately 30 seconds, but something went wrong,” cops said. “Sizemore performed CPR on Emily and revived her. After Emily was revived, Sizemore felt something telling him to get a horse from the barn. Sizemore blacked out and when he woke up the police were attacking him.”

Sizemore was convicted in state court in 2018 of murder and other charges, but that conviction was vacated on April 1, 2021, in the aftermath of the 2020 U.S. Supreme Court case McGirt v. Oklahoma. In that case, the Supreme Court found that federal courts had jurisdiction over certain types of major crimes committed by enrolled members of a tribe that took place on that tribe’s land.

An appellate court in Oklahoma in 2021 upheld a lower court ruling that Sizemore’s case should be tried in federal court, not state, because he was an enrolled member of the Choctaw Nation and the crimes happened on the historic boundaries of the Choctaw Reservation.

Federal prosecutors filed a complaint against Sizemore on April 19, 2021, and Sizemore was tried again.

He also was convicted again, this time of voluntary manslaughter and child abuse resulting in death in Indian Country. The federal jurors acquitted Sizemore, however, of murder in Indian Country, second-degree murder in Indian County, and assault resulting in serious bodily injury in Indian Country. Prosecutors dropped a charge of assault and battery on a police officer in Indian Country.

When he completed his federal sentence in 2022, he was indicted by State authorities for murder.

4j

[c-is-for-circinate]

MCU 2024 Rewatch MASTERPOST: yeah sure why not

Fuck it, guess we're doing this! I, in the year of our lord 2024, am watching my way through the full MCU, in release order. Just that kind of masochist I guess. And because this is the Masochism And Schadenfreude website, you all get to watch!

One of the reasons I'm doing this is because I actually really want to track where it feels like the MCU went wrong. I saw the original Iron Man in theaters in 2008 (twice!), and it was genre-defining in several ways that seem very distant after sixteen years and thirty-some-odd movies. We all watched these for a reason! Time to figure out what it was and also where it got lost.

Note: for now we're skipping the various TV shows, Agents of SHIELD, the assorted Netflix miniseries, Agent Carter...it is Too Much and unlike Twitch reacters, I ain't getting paid for this shit. We're also skipping The Incredible Hulk. Fight me on it.

I have seen...some of these. Pretty much everything through Civil War, and then most things through Infinity War, and basically nothing since then. So it's also going to be interesting to see how future knowledge impacts some of the earlier movies, and then y'all are going to get my actual reactions to the later movies. Which I'm sure will be fun for SOMEBODY.

Anyway I'll be tagging everything as C Watches MCU 2024, and I'll link below on the list after the readmore as reactions happen. Hopefully this whole list will keep me honest!

(oh god there are 32 movies on this list even skipping the Hulk. why am I doing this to myself. what have I begun. why.)

Iron Man (2008)

The Incredible Hulk (2008) THIS DOES NOT COUNT AND I'M NOT DOING IT

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Thor (2011)

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

The Avengers (2012)

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Ant-Man (2015)

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Doctor Strange (2016)

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (2017)

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Black Panther (2017)

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

Captain Marvel (2019)

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

Black Widow (2021)

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Eternals (2021)

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)

The Marvels (2023)

[xxlordalexanderxx]

Side Note: Some old repurposed abilities Alexander had from another verse that I dug up from an old Evernote account. Some of these he can't really use until he's conquered his dragon form

Infrared Vision/Fire Sight. 👁️

Alexander can see in infrared.

This ability is most effective during the winter however. He can see images through flames.

Fire Fang/ Hot Iron Talons. 🔥

Can heat up his teeth and claws to white hot temperatures and melt through most metals.

Divine Meteor Strike. ☄️

An extremely heavy fire and magical based attack that allows Alex to summon and launch a wave of flame engulfed meteors at a target. Can only be used in feral dragon form

Gold/Hoard/bending and general treasure manipulation. 💎

Alexander is able to manipulate mass amounts of gold and various treasures with in his hoard and ONLY such. This can span from launching torrents of treasure at an opponent with an intent of doing heavy damage or crushing them to death.

In addition Alexander can use this ability to his advantage defensively such as creating shields or welding gold onto parts of his body to form weapons/stronger armor. He can even create various gold/metal versions of his opponents. Only they are heavy and quite slow. Finally to add to this attack, Alexander can reanimate suits of armor and statues for as long as he wants until they have been destroyed or he simply stops.

👑Additional lore���� Alexander is actually a folkloric demigod to dragons unique to Xandora, he just doesn't know it yet, and I haven't canonly reached that part of his story. So the story I had with Alex since 2016 is that the dragons native to Xandora all answer to an alpha of great and immense power. Not a full on god/deity but more powerful than a simple alpha creature, an in-between, a demonic-ish demi-god of Xandora dragons. (I guess he's considered a demon of some type cuz human bad ig he's an abomination) And after some time this power or entity will go from host to host. Alexander killed the dragon who was next in line to receive the 'gift' and instead was given it. As a punishment and an experiment because as a man he was very draconian. So a punishment fit for a beastly man. He became what he slain so many times and now has to lead, and protect them and many other beast folk.

[therealblondebucky]

Chapter 5 of Not The Only One - A Winter Soldier Story

Rating: Teen to Mature

Word Count: 1.9 K

Warnings: Canon-typical violence (with more specifics in the tags)

June 23, 2016

Bucky lifted his head up stiffly and slowly opened his eyes. His metal arm was held tight in a large vice, keeping him trapped in place.

"Hey, Cap!" a voice echoed in the large abandoned warehouse.

A moment later, Steve and another man jogged in.

Bucky groaned slightly. "Steve?"

Steve's face was tense with worry. "Which Bucky am I talking to?"

Bucky blinked. "Your mom's name was Sarah."

"You used to wear newspapers in your shoes," Bucky chuckled at the memory.

Steve gave a small smile. "Can't read that in a museum."

"Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?" the other man questioned incredulously.

"What did I do?" Bucky asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Enough," Steve replied frankly.

Bucky moaned. "Oh. God, I knew this would happen. Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words."

"Who was he?" asked Steve.

"I don't know," Bucky whispered.

"People are dead. The bombing, the setup, the doctor did all that just to get ten minutes with you. I need you to do better than 'I don't know,'" Steve explained gravely.

Bucky hesitated, then slowly said, "He wanted to know about Siberia."

"Where I was kept." His blue eyes moved around as things began to fall into place. "He wanted to know exactly where."

"Why would he need to know that?" Steve inquired.

Bucky clenched his jaw. "Because I'm not the only Winter Soldier."

The shock on Steve's and the other man's faces betrayed the fact that this was new information to them.

"Go on," Steve encouraged gently.

"There was a girl," Bucky said, his eyes clouding over at the memory.

"Who was she?" Steve probed.

Bucky shook his head. "I don't know. Just some experimental subject for the serum. An innocent."

"Why would they need to experiment with it? And why not on someone who was part of their organization?" Steve asked as he freed Bucky's arm from the huge piece of industrial machinery.

"They needed to know if this combination was right. Plus, it had never been given to a female before. HYDRA wouldn't risk testing on one of their own." Bucky continued, "When it worked on her, they gave it to five others as well."

"Who were they?" asked Steve, arms crossed over his chest.

"Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history. And that was before the serum."

"They all turn out like you?" the other man asked sarcastically.

"Worse," Bucky replied, raising his eyebrows.

"The doctor, could he control them?" Steve asked.

Bucky looked down. "Enough."

"Said he wanted to see an empire fall," remarked Steve.

"With these guys, he could do it. They speak thirty languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night, and you would never see them coming," Bucky informed them seriously.

"This would have been a lot easier a week ago..." the other man's voice trailed off.

July 24, 2016

Steve helped Bucky up and laid his friend's remaining arm over his shoulders. They limped off, leaving a defeated Tony Stark and a scarred vibranium shield behind them.

"She-she's still alive," Bucky managed to rasp out.

"Who?" asked Steve.

"The girl." Bucky paused. "H-he didn't keep her with the others."

"Where did he keep her?"

Bucky groaned. "A separate room."

"Do you think you could find it?"

Bucky nodded, and they picked their way through the rubble. After several minutes of walking through the ugly green and white hallways, they came to a large metal door.

"This is it," Bucky announced.

Steve unbolted the door and pushed hard. It moved with a metallic moan. Steve turned to Bucky, and their blue eyes met. After exchanging a long look and drawing strength from the other, the two men entered the room together.

Inside was what was left of a lab, and in the far right corner rested a Cryostasis Chamber. It was smaller than the other ones, but the eerie yellow light, soft, steady beeping, and icy whoosh sound indicated that it was functioning.

Through the Chamber's haze, they could make out the form of a girl. She was dressed in the same specialized suits as the others and looked very young. Her right arm was metal with a red star, and her long blonde hair hung down her back. Her eyes were closed, and her expression was obviously pained, even though part of her face was covered with a muzzle.

"What are we going to do?" Bucky's question ended the solemn silence between them.

"We can't wake her up. Not safely. That could end with any one of us dead."

"Steve, we can't leave her here. Not with Tony and Zemo."

"I don't know, Buck. I don't know…"

~~~

Steve and Bucky stumbled through the base's thick metal doors. The Black Panther stood out strikingly against the snow. Upon seeing him, the two super soldiers prepared themselves to fight.

T'Challa put a hand up. "I am not going to hurt you. I know now that I was after the wrong man."

Steve's entire stance relaxed in relief that T'Challa, too, had learned the truth about the bombing. "We could use your help. There is a girl, one of the Winter Soldiers, still inside. We need to wake her up and get her out of here."

T'Challa motioned towards Bucky. "He is in no condition to help with this."

Bucky started to protest, but Steve gently cut him off. "He's right, Buck. It's best if you wait in the Quinjet."

After boarding the craft, Bucky sat down in defeat.

Steve rested his hand on his friend's shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry. It's gonna be okay, Buck. We'll get her. She'll be alright. I promise."

Bucky gave a half-hearted smile, which faded away to nothing as Steve disappeared behind the closing Quinjet door.

"Captain, do not worry about Zemo. He will not be going anywhere." T'Challa nodded towards his jet where the Sokovian was bound.

"Thank you, Your Highness."

The two men entered the HYDRA base together and Steve led the way to the abandoned lab.

"She will most likely be hostile," T'Challa commented.

"Waking up after being frozen for the past few decades will do that to you," said Steve dryly.

T'Challa spent the next few minutes clicking away on an ancient computer. Finally, the Chamber's glass moved up with a whoosh, and white icy fog flooded out.

Steve and T'Challa removed the girl from her prison. Even though she held some level of consciousness, she was unresponsive and unable to walk. Steve tenderly picked her up and carried her in his arms, bridal style. Her eyes slipped shut, and her body went slack. She reminded Steve of the last woman he had carried like this. She also was a Russian trained killer, but had red hair instead of blonde.

After returning to the Quinjet, Steve secured her as best he could. Rescuing a HYDRA trained assassin had not exactly been on the agenda for this mission and there were not many supplies on board to provide aid in this unique situation.

"I must deliver Zemo to receive the world's justice for his crimes against the United Nations," T'Challa informed Steve.

"Bucky and I have a few last loose ends to tie up ourselves. Thank you for everything, Your Highness," Steve said gratefully.

"I could be of more help than you realize, Captain," added the king of Wakanda before the two men parted ways.

"I still have a hard time trusting that a machine can fly itself without any help from a human," Steve admitted aloud before putting the Quinjet on autopilot.

Bucky made no sound of acknowledgment, but Steve knew he likely shared the same sentiment.

"Let's get you fixed up, Buck."

When there was no objection made, Steve grabbed a large first aid kit. Brushing the dark strands of hair out of Bucky's face revealed that his hair was stiff with dried blood, and his face was more beaten than Steve had realized. Gently wiping the caked blood off Bucky's face with an antiseptic towelette, Steve began to clean up his lifelong friend.

"You know, I used to be the one fixing you up after you got in fights," Bucky tried to joke.

"Where do you think I learned how to do this so well?" Steve replied with a small grin.

Once Bucky's face was free of any remaining blood, Steve carefully cleaned his long brown hair with a damp cloth.

"Does it hurt?" Steve asked, motioning to what was left of the metal arm.

Bucky stared blankly ahead. "Just as much as if it were skin and bone."

Steve shuddered as the memory of when Bucky lost his flesh arm flashed across his mind.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Bucky only shook his head.

"Alright. If that changes, let me know," Steve said as he began washing his own wounds.

The combination of physical exhaustion and emotional distress caused Bucky to doze off.

~~~

Aware of someone touching his right shoulder, Bucky woke up sometime later.

"Hey, hey. The Quinjet is cloaked, so no one should bother you. Make sure the girl doesn't do anything crazy. I'm going to go get some supplies. I won't be gone too long," Steve explained, and Bucky nodded.

The stillness of the Quinjet said that it was parked on the ground. While curious as to his current location, Bucky decided that he did not care to know where they were and he would rather remain ignorant as to their final destination for the time being.

Turning to glance at the girl, Bucky caught sight of his metal nub. This was not the first time the arm had been destroyed, but now there was no way to replace it.

"Without it, I'm not as dangerous, and I am less likely to hurt anyone," Bucky told himself.

But the U.N. bombing, the airport fight, the battle at the HYDRA base, the disbandment of the Avengers, and Steve now being a war criminal were all his fault, though.

Hell, the literal physical manifestation of all the wrong he had ever done lay unconscious behind him right now. She was yet another innocent life ruined by the Winter Soldier.

The longer Steve was gone, the deeper into the darkness Bucky let his mind go.

"I'm back! Did you miss me?" Steve teased upon his return.

Bucky replied completely deadpan, "Oh, you were gone? I never noticed."

Steve laughed before pulling out two rectangular red and white checkered paper dishes and handing one to Bucky.

"Sorry, they're a little smooshed," he apologized.

"Hot dogs?"

Steve smiled. "Believe it or not, these were the best ones I could find, and I didn't even blow all of our money on them."

Bucky chuckled faintly, remembering their collective remembrance of that adventure from the '40s before entering the HYDRA base earlier that day.

"There's also two loaves of bread, a dozen apples, and a jar of peanut butter if you get hungry again," Steve informed him proudly as he drew said goods out of his knapsack.

Bucky nodded in approval, and the pair ate their hotdogs in silence.

Afterward, Steve piloted the Quinjet back into the sky and put it on autopilot for the night.

The day had taken far too great a toll. Despite rarely sleeping well and having already had a generous nap, Bucky's eyes slipped shut, and sleep overtook him.

[dweemeister]

Children of a Lesser God (1986)

In narrative art that features individuals with deafness or hearing loss, these films tend not to portray such characters on their own terms, failing to centralize the story around them. Neither Jane Wyman’s character in Johnny Belinda (1948) nor Patty Duke’s portrayal of Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker (1962) frame their respective films; both movies rely on a hearing character to do so. Looking beyond the United States, the same is true of The Shop on Main Street (1965, Czechoslovakia) and the anime film A Silent Voice (2016, Japan) – once more, it is the hearing character who becomes the audience’s proxy. No deaf or hard of hearing actors played the roles referenced in this paragraph.

Such is also the case in Randa Haines’ Children of a Lesser God, with one significant exception – a deaf actress, Marlee Matlin, plays the deaf main character. In the late 1980s, such representation was a revelation, and simply unheard of. Matlin, deaf since she was eighteen months old, came to the producers’ attention after starring in a Chicago-area stage play. While auditioning for the role, she and actor William Hurt struck up a relationship – questionable timing, as both actors got the part (more on their troubled relationship much later).

Haines’ film, distributed by Paramount and from a screenplay by Hesper Anderson and Mark Medoff (adapting his own stage play of the same name), is a capable romantic drama with two great performances. Its portrayal of a deaf character by a deaf actress was indeed significant for its time; the decision to position the film through the hearing character’s experiences fails to distinguish it from its fellow films and numerous films since.

Somewhere in New England, James Leeds (William Hurt) arrives for his new job: as a teacher at a school for the deaf and hard of hearing. His enthusiastic teaching style rubs off on most of his students, as he emphasizes that, as important as it is to sign and read lips, they must also learn to speak. Also working at the school is Sarah Norman (Matlin), a former standout student who works as the school’s custodian. While the school’s hearing staff, for reasons initially unclear, dislike Sarah, the students appreciate her. James falls quickly for Sarah and they eventually begin dating, after a few rebuffs on her part. What follows is a romance where our two protagonists navigate through his desire to help her adjust to the world beyond the school walls and her lack of trust in others. Drifting in and out of the film are the school’s hearing principal, Dr. Curtis Franklin (Philip Bosco), and Sarah’s mother (Piper Laurie) to give both main characters advice, encouragement, and dramatic obstacles.

Children of a Lesser God suffers from its emphasis on James’ perspectives. Between James and Sarah, it is James who demands the most in any compromises between the two. When he first asks Sarah whether she would want to move in with him, James’ approach is, at times, more demanding than it is a genuine query. His insistence on Sarah speaking phonetically to hearing people, from the onset, seems to disregard whatever personal reasons Sarah might have for refusing to do so. Late in the film, the most heated discussion between the couple on this topic comes in perhaps the most inappropriate way – he wants to hear her say his name during sex. Both James and Sarah carry into this relationship sizable foibles and broken pasts, but the former’s communication style can be abrasive and domineering. At times, it makes Children of a Lesser God seem like yet another savior narrative.

Certainly, Sarah’s reluctance to speak phonetically is a defensive mechanism – one to shield her from the pain of past interactions with hearing people and a refusal to have anybody to speak on her behalf. The film also implies that she may be a survivor of sexual abuse. Matlin is magnificent in this role (my goodness, does she sign quickly or what?) and there are a few key scenes where, as Sarah, her character truly shines without James’ input. Interestingly, both scenes involve music. The first instance comes on their first date at a restaurant, when Sarah insists on dancing to “I’ll Take You There” by the Staple Singers. Feeling the vibrations of the music “through [her] nose”, Sarah grooves, eyes closed, to the music. Rather than shaking her hips and moving her head with the beat, she sways, and gracefully moves her arms to the song – released from the bounds of the musical and lyrical phrasing.

Later in the film, Sarah does not betray any irritation when James claims he cannot enjoy his favorite piece of classical music (in this case, the second movement to J.S. Bach’s Double Violin Concerto) because she is unable to enjoy it. Instead of showing her discomfort or lashing out, she asks James to “show [her] the music”, similar to how she “felt” the music on the first date. James fails to do so, but not for lack of trying. Here, Matlin, as Sarah, is fully observational – one can see, through her eyes and face, a sincere attempt to understand what the Bach “feels” like. Where others might point out Matlin’s emotionally fraught scenes in this movie as the best exemplars of her work (any of the fights with Hurt’s James, her jealousy while watching the school show, her reconciliation with her mother), Matlin’s command in these less dramatically important moments also deserve praise.

Matlin’s performance, however, cannot stop Children of a Lesser God from depicting Sarah as the otherized character that must change the most. The film, released in a decade of popular cinema with a more cavalier attitude towards relationship violence than previously seen, puts so little on Hurt’s James. It is fine to portray an imbalanced romantic relationship in a movie. But the film seems tepidly interested in Sarah in stretches, and fails to truly allow the audience to connect with her in moments where that might be possible. Additionally, whenever Sarah or anyone else who is deaf or hard of hearing signs in the film, there are no subtitles. Instead, it is up to James or another hearing character to verbalize the sign language – disallowing the opportunity for any viewer to find, in Sarah, a chance to see the events of the film through her. This, like CODA (2021; which incidentally also stars Marlee Matlin and concentrates on a hearing character, albeit a child of deaf adults), makes Children of a Lesser God a film not for the deaf or hard of hearing community, but for hearing audiences. Sarah’s deafness becomes an obstacle in this film – indeed, some of this is on the original stage play, but there surely were ways to address this.

The chilly New England atmosphere of this movie lends it a coziness that no stage play could possibly replicate. John Seale’s (1996’s The English Patient, 2015’s Mad Max: Fury Road) cinematography and Michael Convertino’s (1988’s Bull Durham, 1994’s The Santa Clause) electronic-heavy score (electronic-heavy scores tend to date quickly, and this is no exception), however, are merely functional. Children of a Lesser God, lacking in any technical accoutrements, relies solely on the strength of its actors and its adapted screenplay and the odd autumnal landscape of red-orange tree leaves and mist wafting over water in the early mornings. Director Randa Haines had never made a theatrical film prior to this, with her directorial career only covering network television and television movies until Children of a Lesser God. Her direction is here is unremarkable, but at least is sufficient for the purposes of this adaptation.

Hurt and Matlin began a romantic relationship shortly after auditioning for Children of a Lesser God – establishing a tricky situation of power dynamics on set during the making of the film. Matlin, seen as the ingénue, knew she had much to learn from Hurt (one year removed from his Academy Award-winning role in Kiss of the Spider Woman and one year away from Broadcast News) and everyone else on set. Matlin has always praised her fellow cast and crew members for that education in filmmaking. She moved in with Hurt shortly after shooting ended on Children of a Lesser God, but that was the beginning of the end of their relationship. The relationship, marked by drug and verbal abuse and rape, continued through the 59th Academy Awards in March 1987 (that evening, on the way home, Hurt questioned the legitimacy of Matlin’s Best Actress win, callously comparing Matlin to the other four nominees) but ended several months thereafter. In later years, following the publication of Matlin’s memoir detailing the worst aspects of their relationship, Hurt apologized for any harm he inflicted on Matlin and her family, wishing them all well. After Hurt’s death in 2022, Matlin reflected on her time making Children of a Lesser God and noted that Hollywood had “lost a really great actor”.

When Children of a Lesser God received five Academy Award nominations and won Marlee Matlin her Best Actress Oscar, speculation abounded regarding changes in the portrayals of deaf characters and opportunities for deaf and hard of hearing actors. Matlin was the incarnation of a potential groundswell of such representation in Hollywood. That groundswell has been less dramatic than anticipated (as are all such movements to address underrepresentation in American films), but Matlin’s win has, slowly, in its own way, opened a wealth of new opportunities for deaf and hearing-impaired actors in the United States in film and television. Children of a Lesser God might not be the revolutionary film that many non-viewers may have heard of. Nevertheless, its positive impacts continue to create small ripples through American filmmaking, belatedly, more frequently than ever before.

My rating: 7/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog. Half-points are always rounded down.

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Living His Word

"Be strong and brave and finish this work. Don't be afraid, because the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will help you until all the work is finished. He will not leave you." — 1 Chronicles 28:20

Every one of us has work to do and the words of our verse today, which King David spoke to his son Solomon, speak to all of us. In Solomon's case, the work he was called to do was a building project. He was called to build the temple of God in Jerusalem. For us, it could be anything. We work as mothers, fathers, farmers, educators, factory workers, business people, artists, doctors, lawyers, preachers, and so on. The Lord God reigns over all areas of life and He calls people to work and to serve Him in all areas of life.

Each of these areas has its own difficulties and challenges and, as a result, we will always face the temptation of weariness and fear, the temptation to quit and give up. Instead, we must be strong, for "The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy" (Psalm 28:7) and we must be brave, for '"This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go'" (Joshua 1:9). We can be strong and brave because we are not alone. The Lord God is with us and is helping us.

And God will be there for us "until all the work is finished." God does not call us to work and to serve Him and then abandon us. He stays with us until the work is done. He "will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps" (Psalm 121:3-4). God calls us to our work and then watches over everything we do and helps us with everything we do. He never leaves us. We can always count on God to be there for us.

Each of us has a part to play and work to do in the Kingdom of God. Today, take comfort in the thought that the Lord is always there with us, and is always helping us, until the job gets done.

© 2016 by Bible League International

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-03-25

Can't tell if this is allergies or if I'm sick because spring is in the air

Listening: I have been listening to The Layover podcast, the behind the scenes podcast for Jet Lag The Game. I only got into Jet Lag pretty recently because I had Nebula anyway and saw it come up. Great show, both because the premise is great (carefully designed games incorporating travel on the scale of countries) and because they can actually edit this incredibly difficult pile of footage into something readable.

The Behind The Scenes is an interesting mix of talk about the on-the-ground situation of playing the game and the filmmaking that goes on after the fact, there's some cool insight into how and why they edit the way they do and it shows why it works so well.

I think you have to have Nebula to listen to the podcast? It does just spit out an RSS feed if you ask nicely though. Thank you podcasts.

Watching: Actually watched The Gay And Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo, the video series that launched like two dozen reaction images.

It's funny, it's a well put together indie comedy series. You've probably seen most of the really standout bits already even if you don't know it already but it is worth watching as a time capsule of web comedy, it's less than two hours long all told.

Reading: Started Glory In The Thunder by 0xabad1dea. I don't know what her real name is. I've had GITT in my ebooks library forever, 0xabad1dea is the main reason I got on twitter back in like 2016 (her and a couple other software blogs) and is why my Fediverse feed is still like a quarter security researchers by weight. She's probably one of the most well known static analysis researchers in the world.

Anyway Glory In The Thunder is a gaslamp-ish fantasy, although leaning very fantasy on the gaslamps. Very teenage characters which is whiplash but only because it's been a moment. Lots of very loud characters who announce themselves and their intentions, some fun seven dimensional politics going on, and a lot of jumping back and forth in the histories of the various gods who are constantly hanging around in the plot.

I think @shieldfoss has bugged me to read this before so you'll be glad to know that I am now.

I like this, I'm about halfway through. It's easy to keep track of despite having enough fantasy names to choke a horse, although I should really stop worrying about that, I've read the Shadowdance series you really have to try to beat that one. It's also a free book, you can get it at @gloryinthethunder.

Playing: Got a VR headset. Fidgeting with said headset. Figured out how to do wireless linked VR from Linux and Windows which is good, I should have all the kinks worked out, I'll have to see how I square the onboard capabilities of the Quest 2 with having a PC and fast WiFi.

Making: Finally run through enough smaller prints on the new hotend to feel confident running off the final endcap, so that's done. The parts of the 3D printed NAS case are complete, and I have started my first pass sanding which is going to take a while because PETG is very slippery. Once that's sanded I'll take it in to the shared workshop and run through some primer layers and some paint.

Tools and Equipment: Flat network cable is a godsend if you're running it in open air in a house. Absolutely useless for pulling through walls or running in conduit, and completely bereft of shielding, but having a flat cord that can press up against frames and sideboards really does make it all neater. I ran flat cat6 for all of this.

[ldysmfrst]

Incomplete (4) 8 Makes 1 Team, But 9 Make... (TEASER)

aring: Ateez OT8 x Plus-sized FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 3 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 14,942

Word count for Story: 33,808

Genre: Idol Soulmate AU

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This story will contain a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter contains panic attacks, the death of a non-main character, y/n having lots of negative emotions towards self, Protective San, and Shielded Jongho.

Story Summary: Ateez are soulmates who earned their way to Fame once they found each other. What happens when a new pull comes during their Towards The Light World Tour? Does 8 really make 1?

INCOMPLETE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

With their attention entirely on the oldest of the three ladies in the room, silence looms. There was a slight tension because they were finally learning something about you besides your name.

Seonghwa could feel your unease and– guilt?

Cindy looked at each of the bonded soulmates before stopping at Seonghwa and said, “Y/n… Y/n’s soulmate was murdered on June 15, 2016– on her 18th birthday.”

Ateez stared at Cindy wide-eyed and dropped chins because that wasn’t possible. Denial ran through the bonded group like a tide wave from everyone but Jongho, who still had minor reservations. As far as everyone they saw, all the signs were there that this woman sitting next to their oldest bonded mate was indeed another link in the bond.

They were your soulmates, not this other person, right? 

“I know this may seem like a stupid question, but” Jongho breaks the silence, his mind diving back into the secure walls he always kept around his heart. Maybe his soulmates were wrong, and this is just another game. 

“No, no. Let’s start with a non-stupid question… what do you mean Y/n has a soulmate already?” asks Wooyoung.

Another silent conversation happens between the three ladies before the younger friend speaks. God, what San wouldn’t give to gain mind reading as an ability instead of pinning. He doesn’t have to have Seonghwa’s ability to see your emotions, which are not in a good place right now, and it cuts his soul not to know how or why. 

“Darren Donahue. Y/n and Darren were instant friends when she transferred to our school in the middle of 3rd grade. They were inseparable all through the rest of elementary school and into high school,” says Kat.

“After growing up with soulmates as parents,” Kat smiles gently at Cindy. “I had an innate understanding of how to spot soulbonds or possibilities. It was resoundingly clear that there was a potential bond between them. Darren was a year older than Y/n when he turned 18 and could finally connect with his soulmate if he had one… but he never even looked.”

“Darren had asked Y/n’s mom to take her out for her 18th birthday. By that time, he had told several of us that his heart knew she would be his,” added Cindy. “All of us were supportive because we all agreed. Sure, there was a chance that we were all wrong. Ever since… we kind have wished we were.”

As a paid member of my Patreon, you can read the whole chapter now with the early release benefits!

Permanent Taglist - OPEN

@bethanysnow @braveangel777 @danielle143 @elliegrace1999 @skyys-universe @reallysparklychaos @stylishhwa @paramedicnerd004 @afangirl91 @psychosupernatural

Series Taglist - OPEN

@nenefix-on @dimeb29 @fr34k4c1dr41n @roseydipity @juju-227592 @hecateslittlewitchling @sebastianswhore @purplelady85 @cotton-candycloudz @granataepfelchan @dishakidishakyahn @sakurarukas @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @drinkingrumandcocacola @stayatinykatsy

[serenastark-writes]

Chapter 6: Dawn of Heroes

New York, 2016.

The skies above New York City darkened as the Chitauri army descended upon the streets, unleashing chaos and destruction. Buildings crumbled, cars were tossed aside like toys, and the people of New York ran for their lives. Amidst the devastation, six figures stood their ground, determined to protect the city—and the world—from total annihilation.

Serena Stark stood beside her father, Tony Stark, who was already suited up as Iron Man. The two exchanged a look, a silent understanding passing between them. They were in this together, just as they always had been. But this time, they weren’t alone. They had a team—a team that, despite their differences, had come together to fight a common enemy.

“Alright, kid,” Tony said, his voice a mix of humor and steel as he addressed Serena. “Time to save the world. Again.” Serena smirked, adjusting the gauntlet on her own modified suit, which she had designed with her father’s help. “Let’s show these aliens what happens when they mess with the Starks.” Just then, Captain America—Steve Rogers—strode forward, his shield gleaming in the sunlight. “We need a plan of attack,” he said, his voice firm and authoritative.

“I have a plan,” Tony quipped. “Attack.” Serena rolled her eyes at her father’s antics, but there was no denying the effectiveness of his straightforward approach. They didn’t have time to overthink things; they needed to act now. Thor, the Asgardian god of thunder, landed with a crash beside them, his hammer, Mjolnir, crackling with lightning. “These creatures are formidable, but they will fall before us,” he declared, his confidence unshaken.

Natasha Romanoff—Black Widow—joined them, her expression as calm and collected as ever. “We’ll need to work together if we’re going to take them down,” she said, her sharp eyes scanning the battlefield. “Together?” Bruce Banner’s voice was quiet, almost uncertain, as he approached the group. But when Serena looked at him, she saw the glint of determination in his eyes. He wasn’t just Bruce—he was the Hulk, and he was ready to unleash his fury on their enemies.

“Dr. Banner,” Serena said, giving him an encouraging nod. “Time to get angry.”

“That’s my secret, kid. I’m always angry” Bruce gave her a small smile before his body tensed, and with a roar, he transformed into the Hulk, his green skin rippling with power.

Captain America looked at the team, his blue eyes filled with resolve. “Alright, we’ve got the Hulk,” he said, more to himself than anyone else. He raised his voice, addressing the entire team. “We keep the fight contained to this area. Iron Man, take out as many as you can from the air. Thor, you’re on crowd control. Natasha, Clint, you’re with me on the ground. Serena, stick with your dad. We’ve got this.”

The Avengers scattered, each moving with purpose as they followed Steve’s orders. Serena stayed close to Tony, her repulsors firing with precision as she took down Chitauri soldiers left and right. She could hear the clash of Thor’s hammer in the distance, the roar of the Hulk as he tore through the enemy, and the sharp crack of Natasha’s Widow’s Bite as she fought alongside Clint Barton—Hawkeye—on the rooftops.

Behind the Glass

“Looks like you’re coming with us,” Tony said, his voice smug as he cuffed Loki’s hands.

As they escorted Loki away, Serena glanced at Daniella, a small smile tugging at her lips. “We did it.”

Daniella returned the smile, her usual seriousness softening. “Yeah. We did.”

And as they walked away from the battlefield, the four of them—Tony, Serena, Daniella, and Natasha—knew that they had faced the impossible and won. They were a team, a family, and together, there was nothing they couldn’t overcome

The large glass cell was bathed in a harsh, sterile light. Inside, Loki lounged with a casual arrogance, despite the situation. His green and gold attire was a stark contrast to the clinical white of the cell, and his scepter lay on a small table beside him. Outside the cell, Serena Stark stood, her face a mixture of curiosity and guarded wariness. Beside her, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, and Daniella Romanoff were present, watching the scene unfold.

Tony leaned casually against the glass, his arms folded, while Steve stood with his arms crossed, his expression stern. Natasha and Clint flanked them, while Bruce and Daniella remained a little further back, their eyes fixed on Loki with varying degrees of skepticism.

“So, here we are,” Loki drawled, his eyes catching Serena’s as he smirked. “The famous Stark family and their entourage. How quaint.” Serena raised an eyebrow, her tone cool and controlled. “You know, Loki, you’re not exactly in the best position to be making remarks.” Loki’s gaze never wavered. “Ah, Serena Stark. I must admit, I’ve heard much about you. A Stark with a mind as sharp as her wit. How refreshing.”

Tony huffed a laugh. “Flattery from Loki? That’s a first. What’s your game, Loki? Trying to charm your way out of this?” Loki’s eyes flicked to Tony before returning to Serena. “I assure you, Tony Stark, I have no intention of charming my way out. I’m perfectly content here, contemplating my next move.”

Steve stepped forward, his voice authoritative. “You’re not going anywhere until we’re sure you’re no longer a threat.” Loki’s smirk widened. “Such confidence. But what if I told you that the real threat is not from me, but from within?” Bruce frowned, his curiosity piqued. “What do you mean?”

Loki chuckled softly. “Oh, nothing of consequence. Just a thought.” Serena leaned closer to the glass, her eyes narrowing. “If you’ve got something to say, now’s the time.” Loki met her gaze, his expression shifting to something softer, more contemplative. “And what if I do have something to say? Perhaps it’s not just the threat you should be concerned about. Perhaps there are truths yet to be uncovered.”

Tony sighed, clearly frustrated. “We don’t have time for cryptic nonsense. What’s your game, Loki?” Loki’s eyes shifted to Serena, his tone softer. “Sometimes, it’s not about the game itself, but about the players. Serena, you have a way of seeing through the layers, don’t you?” Serena frowned, trying to understand his meaning. “What are you getting at?” Loki leaned against the glass, his posture relaxed. “Just an observation. You have a certain… depth. A complexity that’s rare, even among your kind.”

Daniella, who had been quietly observing, couldn’t help but interject. “What’s that supposed to mean, Loki?” Loki glanced at Daniella, his expression inscrutable. “It means, Daniella Romanoff, that some people are more than they seem. And sometimes, understanding them requires more than just observing from the outside.”

Clint, standing with arms crossed, muttered, “I don’t trust this guy. He’s always got an angle.” Natasha nodded in agreement. “He’s right about one thing. We need to be cautious.”

Serena’s curiosity was piqued despite herself. “You think you know something we don’t?” Loki’s eyes met hers with a knowing look. “Perhaps. Or perhaps it’s simply that I see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, it’s not about knowing, but about understanding.”

Steve stepped forward, his voice firm. “Enough with the riddles. If you have something to say that could help us, now’s the time.”

Loki’s expression shifted again, a touch of sincerity in his eyes. “There are forces at play that you may not fully understand. Powers beyond your control. And while you’re busy with me, those forces are growing.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll keep that in mind. But you’re not exactly winning any points here.” Serena’s gaze lingered on Loki for a moment longer, before she finally turned away. “We’ll be keeping a close eye on you. If you have more to say, you’d better say it soon.”

As Serena and the others walked away from the cell, Loki watched them with a mixture of amusement and contemplation. The conversation had been intriguing, but whether it would lead to anything concrete remained to be seen. In the hallway outside the cell, Serena found herself deep in thought. Loki’s words had struck a chord, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to his cryptic remarks than met the eye.

Tony, noticing her preoccupation, gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Don’t let Loki get to you. We’ve got bigger things to worry about.” Serena nodded, her thoughts still on Loki’s words. “Yeah. Let’s just hope he’s not playing us for fools.”

As the team dispersed, each member absorbed in their own thoughts and preparations, one thing was clear—Loki’s presence in their midst was far from over. And with the threats they faced, they would need to be ready for anything, no matter how unexpected.

But even as they fought, the situation grew more dire. The Chitauri seemed endless, their numbers overwhelming despite the team’s best efforts. “This isn’t working,” Serena muttered as she blasted another Chitauri out of the sky. “There’s too many of them.”

Daniella Romanoff, was close by, her movements fluid and deadly as she took down enemies with a mix of acrobatics and precision strikes. She was every bit the skilled agent Natasha was, her years of training with S.H.I.E.L.D. evident in every move she made. But today was different. Today, she was fighting for more than just the mission—she was fighting for her family.

“We need to clear the area around the Stark Tower,” Daniella said into her comm, her voice steady despite the chaos around her. “It’s ground zero for the portal.”

Tony swooped down beside her, his expression grim. “We need to close that portal,” he said, pointing to the swirling vortex in the sky, where more Chitauri poured through from space. As Serena and Daniella continued to fight, they were joined by Natasha Romanoff, Daniella’s sister by blood, who flipped gracefully over a Chitauri soldier before snapping its neck. “You two holding up okay?” Natasha asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

“Nothing we can’t handle,” Daniella replied, her voice firm. “But we need to get to the Tower. Loki’s not going to stop unless we take that portal down.” The three women made their way through the streets, fighting off the Chitauri forces with practiced ease. But as they approached Stark Tower, they found themselves face to face with a new threat—Loki himself.

The Asgardian stood tall, his scepter glowing with ominous power, a smirk playing on his lips as he saw them approach. “Ah, the Stark children and the Widow,” he drawled, his voice dripping with condescension. “Here to play hero?”

“You’ve caused enough damage, Loki,” Serena shot back, her suit’s repulsors glowing as she aimed them at him. “This ends now.” Loki chuckled darkly, his gaze flicking between the three women. “You think you can stop me? I am a god, and you are mere mortals.”

“Yeah, well, we mortals have a habit of taking down gods,” Daniella retorted, her grip tightening on her weapons. Before Loki could respond, Tony swooped in from above, blasting him with a concentrated repulsor beam. Loki staggered back, caught off guard by the sudden attack. “Hey, Reindeer Games,” Tony quipped as he landed beside his daughters and Natasha. “You’re outnumbered.”

Loki straightened, his expression darkening as he regained his composure. “Perhaps. But numbers alone will not save you.” With a flick of his wrist, Loki sent a wave of energy from his scepter towards them. Serena and Tony raised their shields just in time, the energy crackling against the force fields. Natasha and Daniella dodged to the sides, avoiding the blast entirely.

Serena’s heart skipped a beat. She knew what that meant. Tony might not make it back. The thought of losing her father—her hero—was almost too much to bear. “Dad…” Serena began, her voice wavering. Tony turned to her, his expression softening as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey,” he said, his voice gentler than she’d ever heard it. “We’re Starks, remember? We don’t go down without a fight.” Serena swallowed hard, forcing herself to nod. “Just… come back, okay?” Tony smiled, a hint of that old Stark confidence shining through. “Always do.”

With that, he shot into the sky, heading straight for the portal. Serena watched him go, her heart in her throat as she continued to fight off the Chitauri, praying that her father would make it back. The battle raged on, with the Avengers fighting valiantly against overwhelming odds. But even as they fought, Serena’s eyes were fixed on the portal, waiting for any sign of her father’s return. And then, just as all hope seemed lost, the portal began to close. Tony had done it. He had saved them all.

“No…” Serena whispered, her heart breaking as the portal sealed shut.  But before the grief could fully consume her, a flash of red and gold shot through the closing rift, plummeting toward the earth. “It’s him!” Natasha shouted, her voice filled with relief as Tony’s figure came into view. Thor, quick on his feet, hurled his hammer toward Tony, using its momentum to slow his descent. Serena watched with bated breath as her father fell from the sky, his suit powered down, but alive.

When he hit the ground with a thud, Serena was the first to reach him, her heart pounding in her chest. “Dad!” she cried, her hands shaking as she tried to pry open his helmet. Tony groaned, his eyes fluttering open as he looked up at her. Tears of relief welled up in Serena’s eyes as she smiled down at him. “We won.”

The rest of the Avengers gathered around them, their expressions a mix of exhaustion and relief. The battle was over, and they had won—together.

As they stood amidst the ruins of the city, the gravity of what they had just accomplished began to sink in. They had saved the world. But more than that, they had become a team—a family. And Serena knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together.

Because that’s what heroes do.

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (May 28-June 3, 2023)

Yukiko Takayama passed away on June 1. She was the screenwriter of Terror of Mechagodzilla, which closed out the Showa Godzilla series in 1975. Given no instructions from Toho besides "bring back Mechagodzilla," she turned in a surprisingly dark work centered around a peaceful dinosaur transformed into a weapon of war and a cyborg girl struggling to hold on to her humanity. She's also one of only two women to receive a writing credit on a Godzilla film, after Kazue Kibo (Son of Godzilla). She brought back both Titanosaurus and Katsura for the 2016 novella 2075: Meister Titano’s Counterattack, which you can read on Toho Kingdom. Rest in peace.

Skull Island co-showrunner and writer Brian Duffield took to Twitter to answer questions about the show, always a difficult tightrope to walk before your show's actually been released. What we learned: the show is set in the early 90s (so well after Kong: Skull Island but just a little before Skull Island: The Birth of Kong... love these distinct titles). Don't expect any returning characters. Season 1 will be 8 episodes long, and while Season 2 seems to be at least partially written, it's not guaranteed to happen.

More Monsterverse characters have joined Godzilla Battle Line: Mothra and King Ghidorah from Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Poor Rodan got snubbed; there's even a space in the artwork for him. Maybe next update. Mothra looks to be a beast, shielding nearby allies from stun effects when you summon her, slowing down enemies with long-range silk, and boosting her player's energy upon death. King Ghidorah is strong, naturally, but probably too costly.

SRS Cinema continues its hot streak by licensing Kadokawa's 2021 blockbuster The Great Yokai War: Guardians. The film bombed spectacularly, which I can't say I fault Japanese audiences for, but it's still a huge get for such a small company. As usual, the Blu-ray release will come first, with a more widely available DVD to follow. No VHS gimmick for this or The Whale God though; guess Kadokawa wasn't a fan.

I continue to be staggered by how many Movie Monster Series figures Bandai is cranking out: here's Mothra from Godzilla vs. Mothra and Larugeus, Kaigel, and Mammoth Flower from Shin Ultraman. For the sake of sculpt quality, maybe they should slow down; the bird looks traumatized and the plant looks like it's rising out of a dung pile.

[undead-merman]

Garnet

December 31st 2015

To my horror, my father's scraps of rambling claiming to be research turned out to be true. 

Deep in this unnamed facility past a million warning signs was the monster. His eyes gleaming in the darkness, reflecting the light of my lantern. I swear his eyes bore into me as if he was reading my very soul. He shouldn't be alive, not for how long this place has been abandoned. Life behind a chain link fence with only stagnant air and dust particles. 

I pulled him out and seeing as how I simply came here to fight off my burning curiosity and hatred, I don't have a team to help me swipe the place and collect the research from the last group that contained him. I've contacted my most trusted allies to help me. They'll arrive any day now to my camp just outside this worn down concrete mess of a building. 

He's semi feral. He understands basic body language, but does not speak or respond to any spoken language. I've tried. He growls and hisses at the most basic of things. He didn’t even understand forks and knives. He doesn’t even eat with his hands, he kneels down and licks it up from the ground. It’s a sad sight, really. I managed to lead him outside with some scraps of my lunch. He hissed and shied away from the sun like it was a beast. The poor thing, I shielded him away from the sun and waited with him until the sun went down. I made him a spot in my tent, and I'm watching him. I can’t be too careful with how wild he seems to be. He’s sleeping in my bedroll. 

I cannot believe my father was right. The power of manifestation is true and has happened in the past, allowing a billion gods to be born over the years… Garnet, as I will be calling him from now on, doesn’t seem to look like one. He looks more like a demon. Garnet horns, a long tail, rough skin with pillars of said stone growing out of his spine and across his skin. His skin I can tell is supposed to be a much more saturated red, but with who knows how long he’s been in there he’s surely gotten paler. 

I’m going to do my best to look after him. I think I should look into my father’s notes more as well. 

January 5th 2016

A few days have gone by, and I want to compile my notes here. My new team has arrived, a few of my late father’s friends, a few friends of my own. All of them know of my father’s sudden detrimental interest in manifestation, even after all his years as a man of hard science. A handful of them searched the building, while a few stayed with me and studied Garnet. 

Previous research dating back to the 1800s shows he wasn’t always feral. He was a calm-collected man that was theorized to be a demon of sorts. The horns on his head are indeed made from pure garnet, as well as the protrusions on his body. He used to have wings, as stated in some of the old writings, but they must have atrophied and fallen off. 

I’ve taken some time to try and teach him some basic English. He’s a fast learner, which makes my life a lot easier, though it seems like he used to speak it a long time ago. My guess with how long he’s been alone, he’s forgotten it. Makes me sick to my stomach. Over a hundred years of solitude. Strangely enough, looking at his old enclosure, there were no signs of attempted escape. He stayed put like a well-trained dog.  

There are thousands of files, some of them unreadable, almost all of them unorganized. We suspect people have been in here to explore or trash the abandoned facility, so it makes it harder to find material. But with Garnet the moral is up at the very least. Though, Garnet seems wary of new people. He only seems at ease around me and inside my tent. He snaps at anyone getting too close. In fact, he goes ballistic unless I stand in the way. I hate to describe it as such, but he acts like an unsocialized dog. Still, he seems like a good man, just lost from the stillness and loneliness of that facility. I’ve seen him sneak around and patrol my tent before curling up by my head. When he thinks I'm asleep he’ll lick my hair and chew it. 

Talking with the team they agreed to stay here for as long as it takes. One of them even inviting a few more to understand garnet, a biochemist, a genealogist, Histologist, Biophysicist, the whole nine yards. Some of my father’s friends are even paying for the expenses of this trip. I’m so grateful. I hope that the study doesn’t stress Garnet out too much. Furthermore, I’ve resolved myself to taking Garnet’s comfort as a priority. If he doesn’t want to do something, then I will make sure that they don’t press anymore. 

January 16th 2016

Our team has done some more digging and careful organizing and we’ve found out more about Garnet’s reason for being here. This used to be a research company that was looking into lab grown crystals but had ended up finding Garnet. They had harvested garnets from his body using different methods from bloodletting to cutting them out of his skin after burning him. From what it seems his blood would solidify into gemstones. It would provide hefty amounts, though their color would be low quality. The act of burning him which would scab over with the crystal and yank them out. These would result in much higher quality garnets. They wanted to test this, but I refused. It's far too inhumane. 

We have also discovered he’s been there for generations. They had found a collection of folders called ‘Project Vein’, they didn’t even properly give him a name. I couldn’t stop myself from crying, knowing this man had gone through all that for some stupid fucking jewelry. Worst of all, when he saw me crying he straddled me licking my face and tried to comfort me, me. I couldn’t sleep that night, I didn’t even try. 

The company dissolved after the great depression and he had been there ever since. Wasting away as he waited for someone to come find him. Save him, give him orders. Good riddance. I don’t even want to know the names of the people working here… it would eat me up inside. 

We’ve been trying to teach him more and he’s picked up on it more and more. Instead of basic words, he’s relearned slightly more complex sentences. Thankfully, he’s a bit more social now and not just hovering around me and hissing and biting at the others. Not to say he doesn’t hover still but at least he’s not hostile to the others at camp. My father’s closest friends from work, he has taken great interest in Garnet. He keeps trying to feed him and get Garnet to spend time with him. Garnet is still wary of him. We did find out Garnet enjoys fruit. One in particular being a pomegranate. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. We gave it to him, and we watched as he peeled the flesh with such delicacy. No juice spilled from it unless it was already in his mouth. We all sat around and watched as he plucked seed after seed. He offered a handful to my colleague and myself before eating the rest. Ever since then, he’s been pestering us for ‘the tiny pom’. 

His body is nothing like the doctors have ever seen. They were able to take small tissue samples and do some check up and scans. The tissues turned to Garnets within a few minutes. After study, his flesh truly turned to the crystal. The Mineralogist explained that garnets have a few different species. He seems able to produce many species… I wasn’t aware there were species.... Chrome pyrope garnet seems to be the main one he produces. He’s only able to produce a red variety as far as we know. But even she doesn’t know if. His flesh produces Spessartine. She wanted to take samples from all over his body including bone and marrow samples, but I refused.  

I made sure they don’t go overboard with testing. As fascinating as he is, I cannot allow any mistreatment. 

January 25th 2016

We have been here for nearly a month and Garnet has made leaps and bounds worth of progress. His long hair had been bothering him so they went head and cut his hair. He perked up the minute they showed him his reflection and he came scrambling over to me asking if I liked it. It suits him, and now I don’t have to spend twenty minutes every morning combing it. 

He’s finally comfortable wearing clothing, much to everyone’s relief. With the cold, It only further proves the point that he is not bound by reality like us mortals. While he contains a stomach, he does not need to eat, he doesn’t need to sleep, the cold has no effect on him, he can have his body torn apart and beaten and still be fine, and heal it all away within a matter of hours. 

He is not a mortal creature. If my father had any say in this, he would have called it a god. Garnet ceaselessly creates from his body without the need for energy. What else could you call it? I’m not even sure myself. Father’s research says there are billions of them. Gods created from the ideas and concepts attached to them. He mentioned gemstones, devils, zodiac, animals, though gemstones are primarily the object of his interest. Garnet, amethyst, ruby, topaz and citrine. He claimed to have known about Garnet, his mother telling stories about him. I worry that my family was somehow involved with him. 

We’ve plucked through as much as we could inside, but sadly time has destroyed most of their research. What I've previously written down in my cataloging is simply all we have. Garnet doesn't seem to remember anything after the last visit to him. From what he's told me, a man had come up to him and told him to wait there. He waited and waited until I came. 

Everyone discussed what to do next. Without Garnet consenting to testing, there wasn’t much they could do. But when I told them about my father’s research, they asked if I was planning to see if there was more like Garnet. I had to admit it. If there were any more creatures like Garnet, I was willing to risk everything to find them. 

I really am my father’s child… 

They agreed to help me and asked what to do with Garnet, and honestly I had to think awhile about it. I simply just couldn’t let him go about the world on his own. I know it in my heart that he’d be taken advantage of the moment someone got him in his grasp. But keeping him with me? It is not like he’s some pet. I’d have to hide him, keep him safe. I’m not sure if I am up to the task. 

But seeing how Garnet curls up to me every single night, licking my fingers and hair, and nibbles at my shoulder just to hug and hold me, I knew I had to. I told the group I’d keep him by my side and Garnet was thrilled about it. He latched on and didn’t let go until bed. I’d have to return home to look more into my father’s notes. The people of my camp offered to help me get back without having to arouse suspicion from the public. I am privileged to have such lovely people surrounding me in this mission. When I told Garnet that we’d be traveling back home, his tail whipped around wildly, and he seemed to take pride in the fact I called it home for the both of us. I hope I can spoil him like he deserves. 

January 28th 2016

We ended up taking a train. We were able to have a whole private cart to ourselves, so I didn’t have to worry about Garnet getting overexcited and getting caught. I had to thank one of my dad’s old friends for that. 

He was pressed by the window the entire time, and he refused to let me squirm away. I was by his side with his hand around my waist as he watched trees and mountains go by. It was charming seeing how amazed he was. Every seat cushion he bounced on, the table he laid upon and lounged like a king. After so long alone, it was heartwarming to see him so enthusiastic about the world. 

I’d let him pick at my lunch and takes the things he wanted as I looked up more about Gemstones, mostly the ones about my dear new friend. 

From my dad’s rants, I remember him saying that humans assigning characteristics would result in a grain of truth. So I looked at what the birthstone would represent and their symbolism. It was sweet seeing him sniff and poke at my pad and pen. 

Loyalty, passion, healing, and protection were the most common aspects… and it would make sense for him. Loyal to the end. Waiting for someone to come find him. I have to push down all those hateful feelings. I have Garnet to look after. 

Maybe in the future we will find more about them, but for now I'm going to spend some time looking into my father’s things and making sure Garnet feels safe, loved, and taken care of. He deserves it. 

[jinxquickfoot]

@badthingshappenbingo prompt: Human Shield

Find the fic on Ao3

Note: Second half is written from Tony's POV during Civil War, but not intended to be anti-Team Cap or anti-Steve.

2012

God, Tony wants to die.

“Put the shield down Rogers, or I’m going to shoot him in the head.”

Not literally, obviously. Figuratively. From embarrassment.

The guy they’ve been chasing for the past week is just that—a guy. A very well-trained, very strong guy, based on the burly arm gripping Tony by the throat, but still. Human shield is not Tony’s best look.

Steve is managing to appear, Tony begrudgingly admits, exponentially cooler. His expression is stoic behind the cowl and shield, the gun resting on the rim, film and steady. “Let him go, Batroc. It’s over.”

Batroc huffs, right in Tony’s ear. Tony cringes away because gross—he does not need this guy’s morning breath anywhere near his breathing passages—but that only presses his temple more firmly against Batroc’s firearm.

He’s already working on ideas to make the suit more portable. The suitcase design was a good start, but it had just taken one kick from the Frenchman to send it skidding out of reach. Tony’s hand-to-hand skills are far from weak, but he and Steve had been ambushed without warning, and apparently Batroc had decided that Tony was the more controllable hostage of the two.

Next time, this wouldn’t happen. He’d make some sort of suit he could carry on his person all the time, even just a gauntlet, so he’d be ready always.

But that was next time. This time, Tony has to make do with what he’s given. Which, at the moment, is the hostage training Natasha had forced him through for this exact scenario.

“You know I wear a two-hundred-pound suit around the bad guys, right?” Tony had scoffed. “I highly doubt one of them is going to be able to get me in a chokehold.”

Natasha’s response to that had been to, naturally, put Tony in a chokehold, not releasing him until he had agreed to let her show him a few moves.

“A human shield makes it harder to hit the target,” Natasha had told him. “But not impossible. Still, you want to reduce the odds of getting shot yourself as best you can, which means you aim for the ribs. Give us a window, and we’ll take the assailant out.”

They’d practiced it until Tony had it perfect. “There. You happy now, Romanoff?”

“Now that I know one of my friends is in slightly less danger than before? A little bit, yeah.”

Batroc’s blathering on about something else, demands or threats, but Tony isn’t listening. He catches Steve’s eye, raising an eyebrow. Ready? He sees Steve make the calculation—determining the risk. Then he makes eye contact with Tony, and nods. Ready.

Batroc doesn’t see it coming. He’s so focused on Steve that he’s completely unprepared when Tony slams his elbow into his solar plexus.

The gun at Tony’s head stutters, the hold around his throat loosening. It’s not enough to pull free, but the next moment there’s a bang, and then strong arms are grabbing his and pulling him to safety.

“Are you alright?”

Tony winces as he runs a hand over his surely bruised throat. Batroc is bellowing on the ground, bleeding from the shoulder, but neither Tony nor Steve pay him any attention. “Yeah,” Tony croaks, clearing his throat. Ow. “Just some bruised pride. Maybe a few other things. Nice shot.”

Steve claps him on the shoulder. “Always. Although not something I want to do often.”

“You getting squeamish, Captain?”

“Not for this,” Steve replies grimly. “For you—for anyone on the team—I’ll always make the shot. I promise.”

2016

Tony has been through a myriad of feelings the past couple of days, but the absolute panic of I’m about to be shot in the face is a new one. The swell of pride when one of his inventions works for the first time, however—that’s one he’s all too familiar with.

The nanotech gauntlet is barely out of the testing phase, but it’s the only one he’s allowed to carry these days under the Accords. He’s not meant to be using it, either, not without UN permission, but he thinks they’ll let him off the hook given there’s a feral Winter Soldier plowing through Avengers right now.

Catching the gun is the first thing that comes to mind when Barnes points the thing right in his face, his thoughts transforming from That was incredibly stupid to That was amazingly genius in a nanosecond. It’s also a nanosecond of distraction, where he’s not moving, not thinking, and apparently that’s all Barnes needs to get the upper hand.

Tony braces, preparing for the blow as the metal arm swings for his head, but the pain doesn’t come. Instead of a hit, he feels metal grip his throat, a human but inhumanely strong second hand wrap around his waist, as he hears the distant clatter of his glasses hitting the floor.

At the last possible second, Tony throws a counter-maneuver—one of the many, many moves he’d practiced with Natasha after the Batroc incident—but he doesn’t account for Barnes’s strength. The escape attempt does nothing, and then Tony finds himself helpless in the Winter Soldier’s hold.

“Release him.”

Barnes spins them both around, looking for escape paths, the arms around Tony tightening as T’Challa stalks towards them with claws at the ready.

“You will not escape here,” T’Challa adds, and Tony doesn’t know whether the calm murder in his voice is a point in or against his favor. Tony recalls the day he found out his own father had died. He hadn’t exactly handled it with aplomb. He can’t even begin to imagine how he’d react if he’d found out it was deliberate, that there was someone to blame outside of a lethal combination of windy country roads and whiskey.

Barnes responds by shifting his grip, too fast and too expert for Tony to take advantage, so his gun is pointing at Tony’s neck.

“That’s not going to help you.” A new voice. Barnes doesn’t turn to meet it, clearly more worried about the Black Panther. Natasha moves around to where they can both see her, meeting Tony’s eye. “Stay calm, Tony. We’ll get you out of this.”

Tony would love to believe her, but knowledge of just how deadly Barnes is even without a gun isn’t helping matters.

And then, a third voice. “Bucky!”

This time, Barnes does move, even though he’s careful not to let either T’Challa or Natasha out of his sight. Steve is running full tilt at them, not even bothering with the stairs as he leaps to the lower floor. The shield is missing, but Steve’s managed to acquire a gun. He holds it loosely between his fingers as though he’s worried it's going to burn him, not even trying to lift it when he sees the situation before him.

“Bucky,” Steve says again, all determination. “I know you’re in there. Stand down.”

Judging by the increase in pressure on Tony’s throat, Barnes has absolutely no intention of following that order. Tony chokes, instinctively trying to pry the arm away, but it’s like trying to shift concrete.

The gun in Steve’s hand twitches. “Bucky,” he says, yet again, his voice soft. “You’re not in danger. These are allies. I’m your ally. I know you remember me.”

Great, so Tony’s life depends on the memory of a guy with seventy years worth of brain damage.

“Steve,” Natasha murmurs—a warning. She’s eyeing the gun, as though thinking of grabbing it.

Steve notices. His response is to clutch it a little tighter. Which Tony reads as I know what I’m doing, Romanoff, back off. And apparently Barnes reads as This man is about to shoot me so time to run away.

Tony has no choice but to be dragged with him, feet unable to find purchase as Barnes starts backing through the building. More backup has arrived, but Tony’s unable to pay them much attention. He doubts any of them are willing to take a shot anyway, not with the gun trained on them, and not when he’s blocking so much of Barnes’s body.

The panic doesn’t properly set in until he realizes Barnes is taking him to the roof. “Hey, you don’t need—” he tries, but immediately gets cut off when more pressure is added to his throat. He blinks rapidly as they burst into sudden daylight, willing them to adjust, then almost wishing he was still blinded as he sees Barnes’s target.

Tony is just thinking that he really doesn’t want to find out if Barnes is planning to drag him onto that helicopter, or if his part here is done and he’s about to be disposed of, when another figure joins them on the roof. “Bucky, stop.”

Barnes doesn’t stop. He doesn’t go to the helicopter either. Instead, he drags Tony backward until they’re balanced on the edge of the roof, and Tony catches a glimpse of water way too far below them. The gun is still at Tony’s neck. Tony grimaces as he tries to move away from it, but Barnes’s grip is as resolute as ever.

“No one is going to hurt you,” Steve tries. “I know you’re confused, but I know you know me. I’m Steve. You’re Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes.”

Tony wishes he could have one ounce of Steve’s conviction. Maybe then his heart would stop pounding quite so fast.

Barnes doesn’t move. He doesn’t let him go. And Tony’s done playing damsel in distress. He raises his arms, just slightly, willing Steve to see the movement.

Steve does. His eyes go a little wider, his grip shifting on his gun. It’s not pointed anywhere near Barnes, but Steve’s reflexes are super-soldier fast. He’ll make the shot.

Tony watches Steve’s face, seeing the indecision there. Alright, give the guy a second to work through the idea of shooting his closest friend from the olden times. They only need a shoulder wound for Steve to get Tony out of this. Batroc had survived, and then healed well enough to escape SHIELD custody and had a second go at Steve on the Lemurian Star. And he wasn’t even a super-soldier.

Barnes will be fine, even if he ends up falling off the roof. Steve had survived a much longer fall in much worse condition from the helicarrier. Tony’s not so sure about his own well-being if they don’t do this. And he has no idea how long he has before Barnes either fires, snaps his neck, or throws him into the water below.

He brings his elbows up, and slams them backward.

Something snaps in his arm, pain ricocheting up his side, but none of that matters as time seems to slow. Because he’s not free. There was no gunshot. Just the sound of a finger squeezing a trigger, right beside his ear.

This is it. He’s dead. Steve didn’t take the shot and he’s dead.

That thought can’t have lasted longer than a quarter-second, but it feels like an eternity before he feels Barnes go rigid behind him.

Tony doesn’t waste the opening. He tugs the arm away from him, even as he sees Steve barrelling towards them. Tony remembers this part. Being tugged out of Batroc’s grip, beyond relieved even if there was no way he was showing it.

But when Steve reaches him, he doesn’t slow down. He doesn’t look at him. Tony is vaguely aware of a splash, and then Steve is launching himself off the roof, and gentle hands are gripping Tony’s bad arm.

“What—”

“I hit Barnes with a Widow’s Bite,” Natasha’s saying, tilting her bracelet up to show the missing disc. “Maybe you had a point about building ones you could throw.”

Tony cranes his head over the roof to where Steve has surfaced with an unconscious Barnes lolling in his arms.

“Hey.” Natasha tilts his face back towards her, concerned. “You okay?”

Tony blinks at her, trying to remember how to speak, but his voice is gone. He supposes nearly getting shot in the head twice in the space of ten minutes will do that to a person.

When she doesn’t get an answer, Natasha gently prods his elbow, making him wince. “Fractured,” she remarks. “You tried that move I showed you, huh?”

He had. And Steve hadn’t taken the shot.

He hadn’t… he hadn’t even looked at him.

“Come on.” Natasha helps him stand. “Let’s deal with that elbow, and then we’ll deal with the mess that just got one hundred times worse.”

Author's note: Steve believed that Bucky would never actually hurt Tony and therefore Tony was never in any real danger.