#gobbles them up like sushi

[yi3248]

inspired by these 2 devastating tweets:

[blackcatanna]

Last night, I wandered into Tesco in search of sustenance on my break at work and HOLY SHIT WTF SINGLE PACKS OF CRISPS ARE OVER £1 NOW?????? THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!!!

[queenendless]

🔞🌃Nights (Adult!SatoSugu x Fem!Reader)🌃🔞

A/N: This is a short smut piece, serving as the follow-up to Moving Day.

CW: MATURE 18+ CONTENT INSIDE. NSFW, P in V, P in ass, double penetration, MMF, threesome, throuple, polyamory, short smut.

I'm no master at writing smut so sorry if it's not longer and stuff but writing short pieces means more often posts.

All credit for the characters/show goes to Gege sensei.

* Please DON'T plagarize, translate, or repost my FANFIC content. Reblog, like, and follow instead.

I hope whoever reads this enjoys.

Gojo boastfully laughed as he regaled with tales of pissing off the stingy higher ups, Geto whisking his drink about in his hand with a wry grin and invested eyes, and you sitting in between them.

Sushi dinner with your two loves. What a way to celebrate this newest chapter in all your lives.

You resting your face in your folded arms as their banter rang richly to your ears, lulled by their shared warmth. Feeling cozy, at ease, and entranced in ways you didn't think you'd ever receive. With them, it was like you three were in your own little world.

It had gotten late. Leaving the sushi joint with leftovers in bags, you three were heartily full, light-headed and happy. Driving back home in your five seated cozy car with Geto at the wheel. Gojo leaned his head back in the passenger seat while you kissed them both on the cheek, making small talk with Geto while Gojo zoned out to nap.

Honestly … you felt on top of the world.

Like right now.

In the comfort of your newly shared bedroom.

As your soaking cunt gobbled up Geto's shaft with such ease as he lowered you down slowly enough to slide it in; his giant hands squeezing you from your hips to your thighs.

"Fuck~" His raven hair fanned out beneath him, panting heavily already. "Honey, you are heaven sent~" Geto's lovesick smile made your bud tingle at his girth stuffing.

"Aaah~!" Your erotic moan made Geto swell up even further. His cheeks turned more red, sweat trailed down his enamored face and his flexing muscles; his veins popping out in the process.

Scratching your nails down Geto's ribs elicited rough hisses from him that made you carefully lay down atop him so you could smooch him. "Sugu~" Your shortened nickname for him made Geto smile further as he opened his mouth to let you two French kiss sloppily.

The moment you felt Gojo's lean warm presence lay atop your back, his girth throbbed as he jerked off in his hand whilst rubbing his dripping head in between your peaches.

"Nngh!" Geto grinded his hips forward just to get friction stroking his balls against Gojo's.

"Mmph!" Your lips broke off, head reeling as your arse swayed in the air, just begging to have Gojo's girth stretch you out. And that's what he did, your scorching wet caverns sucking him up just as greedily. "Ha – Aah … Toru~" Your shortened nickname for him, panting needily, had his hips jolting into yours, kneading your cheeks roughly, leaving scratch marks in their wake.

"Fuuuck~! Tight as ever, sweetie~ You've really missed me, huh~?" His head plopped down on your back as his hand fondled your right tit from behind simultaneously with Geto massaging your left tit.

"Missed us both, honestly~" Geto drawled, flitting his tongue along your neck, suckling your collar bone, grinning at the red welt marks now imprinting you. "The feeling's mutual~"

With Suguru's left hand gripping your right hip, and Satoru's own left hand grabbing your left hip, you felt somewhat anchored through your heated mindset. Your hands dug into Geto's broad shoulders for steadiness, your hips rotated upwards as they together lifted you up only to pull you down to take them in further, striking every nerve ending ingrained inside.

When they thrusted upwards, you jolted forward. When they pulled back, your walls fluttered, squeezing their cocks desperately.

This addicting pattern was quickly escalating as neither man was not even close to fully truly releasing. And so, their now frenetic rhythm had you a moaning yelling mess as familiarity of times before began racing through your memory. Them pounding into your soaking tightness specifically.

"God, this feels right~!" Gojo buried his face in your neck, kissing and biting you insistently enough to leave marks as much as possible in every inch of skin there. "So fuckin hot~!"

Geto took in a mouthful of your bountiful breast that he was just twisting your nub with his fingers, now tracing patterns with his sizzling tongue as he nibbled on your bud starvingly, his lips curling on both ends up at you. "Agreed~ Such a fine tasting angel~"

God, their teething, their burning mouths, their firm-built hands fondling and rubbing your skin, everything drove you up the wall. Their touch. Their taste. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

Dopamine jutted through all three of you.

FWOP!

Pushing yourself off Geto as you raised your hips frenzy in tune with them pulling away just as swiftly.

FWOP!

Only to SLAM yourself down on them both, earning lustful swearing yells from them, amorously smiling looking at their squeezing eyed, panting, sweating flushed beauty. Up and down you went, rewarding you with unreasonable pleasure and their deep enriching symphony of moaning.

"Horny little lady~" Gojo hissed as his hand released your abused red boob to grab your chin and turn you around enough to kiss you savagely; your surprised mewls mingling with his growls as he won supreme exploring every inch of your mouth.

SCHLICK!

Pulling your hands off his shoulders to intertwine with his, the squelched sounds of Geto popping out your breast heard loud and clear; a line of drool connected his tongue to your drool covered hill as he pushed up on his elbows, dark lust coating his eyes. "Satoru, let me take the lead here."

"Aw~! But taking her from behind is heaven~!" Gojo's whine as he parted from your swollen slick mouth was accentuated by thrusting in one fast thrust up said ass, having your loud squealing self lean back against his front; your horny tongue out expression had their dicks twitching.

"So is this." Geto's devious smirk was your only warning as he quickly pushed off the bed, situating yourself straddling him, when his hand released yours to grab your right thigh and heaved it high enough and far apart to stretch your pussy to go with another angle had you crying out. "Well~?"

Pulling your left thigh enough apart to drape over his hip from behind, Gojo followed his lead, earning him the same result, seeing your wanton crying self hugging Geto around the neck.

"Huh … not bad Suguru~" Gojo chuckled before leaning over your curling whimpering self to kiss Geto deeply.

"I try~ Now Satoru, shall we~?"

"W – wait~!" Your breathless plea had both men watching and amazed that you turned around to tug on Gojo's black blindfold, pulling it off to let his hair down and his eyes be free. "Beautiful~"

Gojo blushed darker, his heart felt struck harder by Cupid's arrow, and his eyes brightened with unbridled love before he kissed you his thanks, smiling cheekily as he rubbed noses with you. "Kawaii~!"

Holding your legs up from under the knees in one hand, lifting you higher off the bed, you were blown away by their sheer strength electrifying your nerves in this new angle, taking turns thrusting in and out, tugging your legs further apart in tune to their spasming pegs.

Burying your face in Geto's thick neck as your boobs aligned against his boob like pecs, you chewed on them luscious builds before biting hard enough to leave teeth marks. "Goddess~!" Geto gushed, dazedly smiling at you marking him as yours.

Shaking the bed insistently enough had the headboard smacking the wall a lot as one slid in and the other slid out, shaking you back and forth between them as they sucked and bit every inch of you they could reach, further claiming you.

The cacophony of profane, raunchy yells and screams served as the melodies to your ears, bouncing off the walls from the overwhelming sensations rendering you unable to spot when blue and brown gazes made eye contact.

Both slid out until only their tips remained inside. Then they struck in unison. Your tender flesh stretched to its limits until they reached that right spot. You then saw blinding white, popping off Geto's pec to breathlessly gasp. Your cunt and a-hole slick and swollen enough for another double pining.

Grinding as one, their composure long lost, all that mattered now was carnal release. Your breath hitched at the overwhelming high, your nails dragging down Geto's back; his pained growl giving you goosebumps before devouring your open mouth, swallowing your cries.

Blood rushed to your core chaotically. The air between you all got so smothering hot, difficult to breathe calmly. You barely able to pull free from Geto's swollen wet mouth before Gojo's head swerved around to entrap you in a deep tongue fuck.

Your hair stuck to your forehead, gleaming from sweat, you were losing composure. You felt muscles tighten as you were literally pressed in between their built chests, bruising left on your knees from their grip digging in painfully.

"T – Toru! S – Sugu! I – I'm – !" You struggled to utter against Gojo's perfect lips as you felt yourself about to reach the precipice.

"S – Same! Sh – Shit!" Gojo gritted through his teeth before going back to sucking and nibbling roughly at the back of your neck.

"Come, love! C – Come for us~!" Geto croaked out as narrowed brown eyes blazed with vigor; his furrowed brows and set jawline evident signs of him barely keeping it together.

The same was said for you as your continued insatiable clenching around their lengths had them pegging you in their hardest drive. Combined, it all drove you over the edge.

All you saw and felt was that same white hotness, wailing out loud as you unraveled. Drenching their abdomens, their thighs, the bedsheets covers. A lot really.

Your obscene wail was what set their beings spasmodic; the trigger warning, as their guts tightened in unison as they convulsed hard, roaring out loud, bursting the dams, painting your insides with their essence, leaking out of you, down their lengths and mixing with your own.

Dissolved into pleasure, you all came undone, the highs coming in waves of heaven. Wanting to chase that high, the chaotic duo kept at it, their cream coated loads still hitting your deepest crevice just to get the rest out, grunting whilst you were an exhausted mewling wreck.

Finally, their own highs in the clouds faded off, leaving their once stiff dicks now softened up. They lowered you down, releasing your knees, setting your legs draped against the soiled sheets.

Gojo collapsed against your backside, resting his sweaty warm face against your right shoulder while Geto draped himself over you up front, his face buried in your tits. You shuddered as one hand draped through Geto's ruffled raven locks while your other hand brushed back Gojo's snowy locks stuck to his sweaty forehead.

"Y/n-chaaaaaan~" Gojo cooed teasingly despite the fatigue, no doubt smirking. "Hands on practice, success~"

"Quite the memorable lesson, indeed~" Geto's soothing voice also teemed with wry humor as he looked up at you with his nose lodged between your hills.

Of course, they'd be smug about making you cum hard.

"J … Jerks." Your halfhearted jab was overshadowed by you nearly fainting sideways, instinctively triggering their sudden boost in reflexes, having them grabbing you before laying you gently down on your side.

"Maybe we pushed her too far." Gojo hinted at.

Geto raised a questioning brow at his crazy bestie lover. "Maybe?"

Still, they chuckled weakly at the night's events as they laid on their sides, keeping their shafts inside your comfy self; the bump in your tummy being sheer physical evidence of them in the womb. Their arms encased you, flushed between their glowing drenched selves, their legs entangling with your own.

"Love you two." Your nearly silent murmur added to your overall allure as your hands balled up against Geto's abs, your cheek pressed up to his scar covered chest as your own pillow for the night, dozing off leisurely to la-la land.

Gojo kissed your free cheek, using your shoulder as his pillow, whispering into your ear, "We love you too, beautiful~"

Geto kissed your forehead, smiling looking at your precious self snuggling into him. "Always."

As the iconic sorcerer duo kissed each other goodnight, they too conked out, leaving cleaning up to the morning.

For now, three being one, in their own little world, was like and will be like many more nights to come.

Literally.

[geehosaphat]

SwynWrimo: Short & Sweet One-Shot

How Martin associates food with people/love:

Savory Chicken Stew: Martin cussed as he smelled smoke. He'd been trying to roast his own chicken for this recipe Tiana had given him (he was hoping to drop off some for her) but then Archimedes had needed to lay bare his grievances regarding his job on the Board, his frustration with tourists that gawked at him as he passed by, and any number of other things. Martin had allowed himself to become engrossed in the conversation and lost track of time. It had started to feel like the old days; they were alone in this big house and all seemed quiet. That was, of course, until Niamh had brought a shrieking Mandy into the room and popped the bubble followed swiftly by the smoke alarm going off. Damn, guess we're ordering pizza..

Cat-Shaped Pigs In A Blanket: Martin was always trying new ways to make boring food more exciting. Thankfully his sister lived in the uni housing which meant that he had someone to pass off these trials to. He could make as many "failed" items as he wanted because poor uni kids would gobble them up like little monsters. As he pulled out the latest batch he saw that a few of the cats had lost one or both of their ears. Whoops... Well, I'm sure they won't mind...

Ghostie Margherita Pizza: Martin knew Halloween had passed and he really wanted to decorate for the winter holidays but as he began to prepare pizza for dinner he found himself reminded of cartoonish ghosts with the way the sauce warped the shapes. He took a bit of seaweed and quickly decorated silly faces onto them. He was only cooking for himself and Ren, a simple dinner, but he knew that the silly faces would make his spouse smile. They watched plenty of monster movies and the like, his Monstruito was fascinated by the human perspective on the matter, and while ghosts weren't so scary this was another nod in that direction. I can't wait to see their face when they see this!

Bumblebee Design Sushi: The sushi was vegetarian, though some pieces had imitation crab for the one in the flat that did eat meat. It was packaged in a bento box with blue waves across the outside and tied with a matching blue ribbon to be left with a book Ian had asked to study. Their lessons were on hold due to a late shipment at the Rock Shoppe. He works so hard, I've gotta leave him something!

Edible Flower Cookies (Butterfly-Shaped): Stella liked butterflies, that much was frankly obvious, and while his garden was wilting for winter's swift approach he'd gathered and prepared his edible flowers earlier in the year so they could be used for baking. Mim had commented offhandedly that she seemed to be having somewhat of a rough day and he had the perfect idea on how to cheer her up. It's not much but it's something..

Jellycat-esque Bread Rolls: Martin had been searching for things to get for Eilonwy for the baby. It was a ways away, he knew that, but he was excited for her and Edward. She had been the youngest in their group back when the Knights were active but that also was probably what made him all the more insistent to do something for her. After weeks of searching he finally found something! He found some Jellycat stuffed animals, bought them, and then made little matching bread rolls that she could enjoy. They really are cute enough to eat!

Monopoly Cupcakes: Monopoly Mondays wasn't the most steady event, Martin would call it the weekly-not weekly plan for him and Elsa. They had started this game.. years ago by this point? They were both too stubborn to lose and found new and creative ways to keep the game lasting. Themed treats will assure my victory!

Bananos Calados: Martin didn't get to make Colombian food often, or maybe what he meant was he didn't feel like most people would really understand it. His mother used to make some things back in London and he had been eager to learn more about the culture of cooking. Now when he had an overabundance of his food he had to share it! He'd been craving this dessert for days until he finally found the time to prepare it and then, of course, he made too much. Dishing it up he managed to bring some to Casita. Hopefully the Madrigals will appreciate it!

Rose-Shaped Strawberry Tanghulu: There were certain dessert techniques that Martin didn't try often. Usually when he failed at something he swore off trying again for fear of seeming foolish but cooking never really fell into that trap. Cooking was, for all his efforts, the closest thing to magic that Martin could achieve. He always felt like he was creating something from almost nothing, finding the mundane versions of reagents to make the world bend to his whims. And sometimes what came out after was beautiful and could bring that sparkle to someone else's eye. If I can just make Su's face light up then all of this effort will be worth it!

Hatching Chicken Deviled Eggs: Martin didn't used to know much about physical training and general health before the Knights but now? Well, now Martin tried to at least go for a run every day! He usually didn't frequent the gym, he'd actively avoided it for awhile after Valentine's Day, but now he stopped in now and again both to see his partner and to say hello to Herc. Today he even brought treats! Little deviled eggs in the shape of hatching chicks, simple and easy but the presentation had turned out well! He slid them to Laurel with her vow to be sure the boss would get his hands on them. Who can say no to protein when it looks like that?

@madmagicmim @truitt-story @ambereyed-mountain-prince @ianthedisastrous @stellabfly

@eilonwy-notjustgirl @vvinter-queen @julicta @waitingona-mirabel @letitrain-letitsnow-letitgo

@haveyoumet-dolores @accident-prone-agustin @tirameunpaso-felix @rowsandrows-of-roses @lift-lats-luisa

@camilo-makesyousmile @princess-su @kouros-herc

[yusuke-of-valla]

Whumptober Day 2: Good Friends And Good Food

AO3

The second Wednesday of the month usually marks the time where people pack their own lunches and avoid the cafeteria, on account of the head chef having free reign on that day to try her “experimental” dishes.

(To the chef’s credit, she’s been at the school for 50 years and is otherwise a talented cook when she doesn’t get the urge to experiment and is just about the sweetest woman ever, so no one has the heart to tell her everyone’s taken to calling her original concoctions Mystery Food X after a teacher slipped up and called it that.)

There are very few exceptions, one of them being Yusuke, who’s diet of generally anything he can find that’s edible has left him with an iron stomach.

As such, Yusuke’s a little surprised to see someone else there when he gets to the cafeteria.

“Oh, hello! Did I miss something?” A girl with close-cropped white hair asks. “No one else is here.”

“No, most people just avoid the cafeteria on these days,” Yusuke explains. “If you don’t mind me asking, are you one of the Italian exchange students?”

“Yes!” she says, sticking out her hand. “Maria Lucrezia Fiore.”

Yusuke opens his mouth to speak but she keeps going.

“And it’s either Maria Lucrezia or just Lucrezia, I never go by Maria, that’s my oldest sister. She’s Maria Teresa but she goes by Maria, my second oldest is Maria Alessia, my younger sister is Maria Sofia, we’re all Marias, so only Maria Teresa answers to Maria.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Yusuke says. “I’m Yusuke Kitagawa, a third year student in the art department. You?”

“Art as well, though I’m with the second years.”

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you, Fiore-san.”

“Please, call me Maria Lucrezia at least.” 

“If you insist. Are you in the joint art show?”

While the Italian students were at Kosei, they were challenged to try a painting inspired by a Japanese artist, while the Japanese students were challenged to try a painting inspired by an Italian artist.

The best pieces from each year were going to be on display in a few weeks, along with some cross-cultural music and poetry reading, at a farewell gala the night before the exchange students leave.

“Yes! You as well?” 

Yusuke nods. “I wish I had had more time to touch up the piece, but the professor approved of it anyway so there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Great! I’m excited to see it. Who did you base yours on anyway? I picked Taikan.”

“I decided to go out of my comfort zone and try something inspired by Boccioni.”

“Bella, bella! I’m sure it’s wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Yusuke says. 

“Kitagawa-kun!” The head chef says. “Good to see you! And Fiore-san, I’m so happy you’re here! I’m hoping you two can tell me what you think. I want to try and create some fusion cuisine for the gala, so I was hoping to get student feedback.”

The head chef takes them back to the kitchen and plates them… well it looks like sushi. However instead of rice the chef used spaghetti and made a dip for pasta sauce.

Yusuke takes a bite, and is a little caught off that the spaghetti is warm.

But he never turns down free food, so he gobbles it up.

“Ah! Delicious!” Maria Lucrezia says.

“Yes, thank you for the meal,” Yusuke says.

“I’m glad you think so, but do you think the other students will like it?” The head chef asks.

“Probably not,” Yusuke says bluntly. “The consistency is very strange.”

“I think it’s great! It kind of feels like it’s crawling down my throat on it’s own!” Maria Lucrezia says. Then she thinks for a bit, “though my brother thinks all my favorite foods are gross, so I guess I can’t speak for anyone else.”

“Well, thank you for your honesty. I just can’t stand the thought of making regular hors d'oeuvres for the gala! I mean it’s a celebration of two cultures coming together! That should be included in the food.”

“Well Italy and Japan have to have a lot of culinary staples that overlap,” Yusuke suggests. “I mean they’re both more or less surrounded by the ocean, at the very least they have to fish.”

“Yes! Seabass, cod, swordfish!” Maria Lucrezia says. “So maybe you can do sushi the way they’d make it if it originated in Italy! So use orzo instead of rice or something!” She gasps. “Oh or you can make a Japanese Timpano!”

The head chef nods thoughtfully. “Yes, yes, I must consider this. Both of you, out!”

She shoves them out of the kitchen.

“It’s good to see someone passionate about food!” Maria Lucrezia says. “So many people think of it as just something to eat.”

“Well it is,” Yusuke says. “I do agree that it’s nice to take the time to savor your food, but good food made with care isn’t always available.”

Saying that makes Yusuke miss Leblanc. He hasn’t been in awhile.

Futaba’s busy enjoying her school life to the fullest, and Ren’s back home, so neither of them have invited him over and he can’t go on his own. Otherwise he’d be taking advantage of Boss’s hospitality.

His stomach aches for the warm curry, though.

“That’s such a shame.”

Maria Lucrezia’s words shake Yusuke from his thoughts.

“Getting to enjoy food you like is important! It’s a part of being alive, no?”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Yusuke says.

~

Yusuke stares at the piece he submitted for the Gala. Their teacher is keeping it in her office since too often students will try to edit or touch up already submitted works, but he can see it through the window.

Honestly, he doesn’t know if he wants to touch it up or take the katana he hasn’t touched since February and slice through the canvas.

He’d told his teacher he was inspired by Umberto Boccioni and the Futurist movement, but that was a lie.

In reality futurism happened to be well suited to capturing the spirit of the Phantom Thieves. The futurists had declared: 

 “We shall sing the great masses shaken with work, pleasure, or rebellion; we shall sing the multicolored and polyphonic tidal waves of revolution in the modern metropolis.”

And how could Yusuke resist?

The form, light, and dynamism of Boccioni’s artwork reminded Yusuke of his friends, who, even outside of the Metaverse, are leaping forward into the future.

And here he is. Still doing the same thing he’s always done. 

Everyone’s off trying new things, pushing themselves to grow and be better than they were, and Yusuke doesn’t even know where to start.

He does know he misses them. 

But at the same time, he can’t distract them, clinging to them just because he feels lost.

~

Yusuke doesn’t know how he got volunteered to be on the planning committee for the gala, he just knows he’s here.

Maria Lucrezia’s there too, and she instantly invites him over to sit between her and a boy who must be her brother.

“Ok, so we’ll need to split into groups to do tasks. Since some of you joined late you’ll be assigned, and— Kitagawa and Fiore-san, you’re on flier duty.”

“Huh? But I heard there was an option for arranging the food that was still open!” Maria Lucrezia says.

“You’ll just encourage the chef to get experimental,” her brother says. “Not all of us can eat trash like you two.”

The head of the committee looks sheepish, confirming that it’s exactly as the brother said, and continues on with the assignments.

“I’m sorry for my brother’s rudeness,” Maria Lucrezia whispers. “This is Benito.”

“Hello. Nice to meet you,” Yusuke says, offering his hand.

Benito simply glares at it. “Don’t cause trouble for my sister, alright?”

Maria Lucrezia rolls her eyes. “Yes, yes, very helpful Beni.”

“I’m serious, Lucrezia. I’ve heard about him, he’s the weird one. Think about it, how out there does he have to be to be weird to the eccentrics at this school.”

“I can hear you,” Yusuke says.

“I know.” Benito turns to his sister. “He doesn’t even have any friends despite being about to graduate.”

“I have friends,” Yusuke interjects.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do, they just all go to other schools.”

Benito rolls his eyes. “You can’t come up with a better lie?”

“Why would that be a lie? There are lots of schools in Tokyo.”

“Sure but if every single one of your friends goes to another school, and no one else has heard of them, that’s a lie.”

“Hifumi Togo’s met one of my friends.”

“Oh, the shogi prodigy?” Benito fake gasps. “You mean the one currently at a tournament in Nagoya and thus can’t verify that you have friends?”

Yusuke rolls his eyes and pulls open his sketchbook. “Think what you will.” What does he care if this random exchange student believes Yusuke’s friends exist?

“We can meet them at the gala!” Maria Lucrezia says. “We’re the Flier Squad! So we’ll make sure they know about it!”

Yusuke blinks. “If they can come.”

Benito scoffs. “Oh sure, they’re all going to be busy, right? How convenient.”

Yusuke’s grip on his notebook tightens. “You never know.”

~

Yusuke stares at his phone as people walk past him in the underground passageway. 

There’s no point in asking Ren, Ann, and Ryuji since they can’t make it out to Tokyo. Futaba, Haru, and Makoto will be around, and maybe it’d be worth asking Sumire as well on the off chance she doesn’t have a gymnastics meet?

He sends a picture of the flier to each of them.

Yusuke: My work is going to be on display, would you like to come?

There. That didn’t sound desperate. He’d hate for them to drop plans to come out of pity. 

The task done, he puts his phone in his pocket, and tries to focus on watching the people passing by. Normally he’d work on capturing individual people, but since he’s on a bit of a futurism kick, he tries to capture the movement of the crowd itself, and the leaving, breathing bustling of the subway.

He’s almost in the zone when his phone buzzes, at which point Yusuke practically drops his sketchbook to drop his phone.

4 New Messages.

Yusuke takes a deep breath and checks them

Futaba: Sry, next Friday I’m in a gaming competition. Tell me about it after tho! Is there an award? Kick ass!

Makoto: I’ll be in a study group prepping for a big test, I’m so sorry. Will you send pictures?

Haru: Oh no, I’ll be at a business dinner, you must tell me when the next one is though. I’m sorry!

Sumire : Gah! I’m so sorry Kitagawa-senpai! I’ve got the regional finals that day and I won’t be back until late. I might be able to make it before the end?

Yusuke quickly texts “don’t worry about it” to each of them and leans back against the wall. 

Yusuke turns off his phone and slips it back into his pocket. This is fine. It’s not like it’s a show with anything on the line. He’s just showing off a piece that’s already been recognized.

And it’s not like he needs them there to show up some jerk who’ll be back in Italy the next day.

No, he’s being ridiculous. They all have things on the line, he doesn’t. This won’t affect his grade, or his chances of getting into college, or anything.

They have more important things to do because they’re actually taking risks, Yusuke thinks to himself.

Because they’re putting themselves out there and trying things, while Yusuke remains falling back on what he’s always been good at. On what everyone’s always expected him to do.

He’s in place and they’re flying forward.

Yusuke realizes some people are staring at him, and it’s because he’s shaking. He packs up his bag and goes.

No matter how sorry he feels for himself, it doesn’t change the fact that it doesn’t matter his friends can’t come to the gala.

~

“Please come to Kosei High’s first Biennial Cross Cultural Gala! There will be food, music, and artwork on display!” Maria Lucrezia says. 

Every day after school for the last week and a half, Yusuke and Maria Lucrezia have been handing out fliers in different neighborhoods near the school. They really want a large turnout from the local community.

Yusuke’s not sure how many people will actually come, but they have been taking a lot of fliers at least, which is the important part on their end.

“Yo! Inari!” Yusuke turns and spots Futaba running towards him. “Whatcha doing?”

“Handing out fliers,” Yusuke explains, showing her one.

“Oh yeah! The thingie! I’m sure it’ll be cool,” Futaba says. “What’ve you been up to, prepping for this?”

“Yes, pretty much.” We both know I never have anything else to do, is the part Yusuke bites back. He cannot draw his friends into his problems.

“You ok?” Futaba asks. “You eating? Because you’re always welcome at Leblanc.”

“Yes, everything’s fine,” Yusuke says. 

“Sakura-san!” 

A boy and a girl Yusuke doesn’t recognize run up to Futaba. 

“Oh! Hey guys, this is my friend Inari, I told you about him. Inari, this is Aoyagi and Kusanagi, they’re who I’m entering the gaming tournament with. We’re here to practice at the arcade.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Yusuke says. They’re not even wearing Shujin uniforms, so Futaba’s managed to make friends on her own. She never could have done that a year ago.

The swirl of pride in Yusuke’s stomach is weighed down by a tinge of jealousy. Look at how far Futaba’s come, and yet here he is.

“Are you ok?” Futaba asks.

“I’m fine!” He won’t tarnish her moment with his own issues. “I have to keep handing out fliers, I’ll see you around.”

Yusuke runs off before Futaba can say anything, and almost knocks over Maria Lucrezia.

“Oh, there you are, Yusuke-sanpai!”

“Senpai” he corrects her.

“Right, sorry! Senpai. A month in Japan and I’m still not getting it!”

“You speak it fine,” Yusuke says.

“Ah, thanks. I’m… slow at learning things sometimes, you know? I like to take my time.” She sighs, “the next time we come to Japan, I want it to be for longer.”

“Thinking of studying here?” Yusuke asks.

“Perhaps, I don’t know. I’ve lived lots of places, and they’re all so different! I want time to appreciate them all.”

“Oh, you travel around a lot?”

“Yes, though my sisters and I have a bet to see who can go the longest without going to America.”

“Do you travel for your parents' work?” 

Maria Lucrezia’s normally cheery demeanor drops for a second. “No, they died a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Yusuke says. “I understand… my mother passed away a long time ago too, and my previous caretaker is out of the picture.”

“You ever get jealous of people complaining about their parents? Like ‘oh no they make me do homework!’”

“Can’t say I do. I suppose it depends on the parent.”

Maria Lucrezia nods. “Yeah, good answer. Beni’s mom…”

“You have different mothers?”

“Yeah. She was a massive fucking cunt, pardon my French.”

“You’re speaking Japanese.”

Maria Lucrezia laughs. “Kitagawa-senpai, you’re so funny! I seriously don’t get why no one hangs out with you!”

Yusuke tries to keep his face neutral, but Maria Lucrezia seems to catch it. “Oh, I didn’t mean—”

If he wanted he could take her to the arcade and introduce her to Futaba, but all that would do is grant him some satisfaction at the expense of Futaba’s time with her friends.

“It’s fine,” Yusuke says. “Let’s just get back to work.”

~

The gala, at least, is a resounding success. Tons of people from the neighborhood come to visit, including some Yusuke suspects who are just here for the free food, which he respects.

The head chef’s fusion cuisine has come out well from the looks of it, everyone seems to be enjoying it and she’s beaming with pride.

Once the final performance finishes, people begin to trickle out, and the head of the planning committee grabs Yusuke aside and asks him to help put away things.

He’s joined by Maria Lucrezia and Benito.

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for your plane ride?” Yusuke asks. 

“We’ll be fine,” Maria Lucrezia says. 

“I don’t want to leave her alone with you,” Benito adds. “Since your friends didn’t end up showing up after all.”

Yusuke rolls his eyes and pushes past Benito, grabbing several chairs and heading back to the storage closet, Maria Lucrezia following behind.

The door slams shut behind them.

"You'll have to forgive Beni," Maria Lucrezia says. "He's doing his best, even if he can be blunt sometimes."

"I'd like to stop talking about this."

"You know what I think?"

"No,"

"You're a real artist, you know? So many feelings that you're pouring out into the world. And it's killing you that no one can match that. Everything you give you'll never get back because your so-called friends don't care about you as much as you care about them. If you were in their shoes, you'd have noticed if they were upset. You would have been there for them. But then again, they can't. Because you're not their whole world the way they're yours."

"Fiore," Yusuke says sternly. "This is not the time for this conversation."

"You're right, you're right, I need to stop playing with my food."

Suddenly she grabs Yusuke's arm and yanks him downward so they're eye-level. She grabs the back of his head with other hand and to keep him still as she plunges a pair of fangs into his neck.

Yusuke struggles to push her off of him but she's too strong and he's rapidly losing feeling in his arms and legs.

"Senpai," Maria Lucrezia purrs when she stops for a second. "You really are perfect, you know? I mean you could be a bit shorter but your blood's worth the extra effort. Anemics taste so good."

"What... what are you going to do if I die," Yusuke breathes. She's completley supporting his weight right now. 

"Oh don't worry about me, I've done this for a long time. I know how to be patient, even when it was killing me. By the time anyone finds your body, we'll be flying back to Italy, at least. Assuming anyone bothers to notice." She pulls his neck close again. "Now be a good boy and let me eat. There are worse things to be than a good meal, you know." 

Damn it. If he were Fox, he’d be stronger. Faster. Able to fend her off.

If he were Fox he could summon Goemon and have his weapons.

If he were Fox, the rest of the Phantom Thieves would be with him.

But he’s not Fox right now, he’s just Yusuke, and he’s going to die in the back room of a tiny gallery and no one will be any the wiser.

He feels himself fall to the floor with a thud and he can’t even bring himself to move.

So he just closes his eyes and drifts off.

~

“I’m sorry guys,” Futaba says as they exit the gaming tournament.

“It’s not your fault. Who would’ve thought another gaming competition would have a print stickers contest,” Kusanagi says.

“And this time we didn’t have anyone good at it…” Aoyagi adds. “Still, there were about 20 teams and we came fourth. That’s not bad. Let’s grab our seats and watch the finals.”

“...Actually, do you mind if I leave early?” Futaba asks. “I might be able to make my friend’s thing still.”

“No, go ahead!” Aoyagi says. “Tell him hi for us, and remember that thing I said about my partner’s sister?”

“Yeah, we gotta set them up on some kind of art playdate or whatever. Inari’d totally love another artist he can actually nerd out with. See ya guys!”

Futaba heads out to the front of the arcade and opens up her phone, texting the group chat.

Futaba: Hey, any of you guys still at Inari’s art thing?

Ren: ?

Futaba: He’s doing an art show with school. 

Haru: Give him my regards!

Makoto: Me too.

Sumire: Tell him if he doesn’t mind waiting we can swing past and grab some dessert!

Ann: Aww he didn’t tell us he was doing an art show!

Ryuji: Yeah we coulda at least texted him good luck.

Futaba: I don’t think it's a competition, it’s just a display.

Futaba: …wait.

Futaba: So did everyone in the Tokyo group say they couldn’t make it?

Haru: I can’t.

Makoto:  Me neither

Sumire: We’re trying, but we won’t get there before it ends without breaking some traffic laws :(

Futaba: Oh shit… when I saw him last time he looked really bummed about something, is it because none of us could make it?

Ann: When was the last time any of you hung out with him in person?

Haru: That would be, after Sumire-chan’s last meet, right? The victory dinner?

Makoto: That was over a month ago!

Ryuji: Ah shit. I haven’t had a voice chat with him in awhile either.

Ann: Me neither

Ren: Not us.

Futaba: oh noooooo Inari istg if you’ve been all lonely and didn’t want to talk to us.

Futaba: Ok the gallery or whatever isn’t far from here, I’m gonna run over rn.

Makoto: Gonna tell my study group I need a break, I’ll be there ASAP

Ryuji: gl!

Futaba sends a text to Yusuke to say she’s on her way, and sprints/walks over to the gallery.

When she gets there she spots a familiar head of red hair.

“Sumire!” Futaba gasps. “I thought… you’d be…”

“Later?” Sumire finishes. “My aunt was driving and I explained the situation and she, well, broke several traffic laws. But I’m not sure if anyone’s still here.”

“Hold… on…” Futaba says, pulling out her phone. “Yeah… he’s here…”

They follow Futaba’s phone to some storage room, and Futaba pushes it open. “Inari? You– AH!”

There’s a girl with Yusuke’s blood dripping down her chin, and Yusuke slumped over, completely unconscious.

Sumire’s faster than Futaba, and runs over to smack the girl— vampire?!— over the head with her gymnastics bag.

“Hey!” the vampire girl gasps but Sumire keeps going, while Futaba rushes over to check on Yusuke. His pulse is very slow.

The door bursts open again and a dude who looks like the vampire girl runs over and grabs Sumire’s wrist, and she elbows him. Soon the two of them are fighting while vampire girl heads over to Futaba and Yusuke.

Then the door bursts open again.

Makoto’s in the doorway, stares at Futaba holding Yusuke, the vampire girl with blood on her mouth, and the other guy currently wrestling with Sumire, and wastes no time.

She dashes over to the guy wrestling Sumire and throws him off into the path of vampire girl. The dude and the vampire girl look at each other, then turn into bats and fly out the small window.

“What—”

“Vampires! Inari! Hospital!” Futaba gasps, motioning frantically to everything.

Makoto still looks confused, but picks Yusuke up.

“T-take him to my aunt’s car!” Sumire shouts, getting up.

They sprint over, throw Yusuke in the back, and Futaba climbs in while Sumire frantically explains that they have to go to the hospital right now.

~

Well, Yusuke can’t say he was expecting to wake up, but the smell of antiseptic does make sense.

What’s the most surprising are Futaba, Sumire, and Makoto curled up on various chairs around the room.

Then Haru enters with a mug of coffee.

“Oh good, you’re up!” Haru whispers. “I came over as soon as I heard what happened.”

Yuske’s throat is dry. “Is what happened to the Italian exchange student was a vampire?“

“Yes, apparently.”

“Huh.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Haru asks. “You needed an immediate transfusion with all the blood loss.”

“Tired, I suppose.”

“Then do you… have an insatiable thirst for blood?” Haru asks.

“Um… no?”

“Ok, good. You know there are so many different types of vampires it’s hard to tell how real ones work.” Haru explains. “Ren, Ryuji, Mona-chan, and Ann have been texting info all night.”

“Oh, but Ann has class right now?”

“It’s an emergency,” Haru says simply.

Yusuke feels tears start to drip down his face. 

“Huh? Yusuke, what’s wrong?”

“I’m just very happy you all came,” Yusuke says.

“‘Course,” Futaba mutters.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Yusuke asks.

“Stop worrying about us you big lug,” Futaba yawns. “Anyway, totally thinking we should have a Tokyo gang group chat so we can hang out more.”

Haru nods. “Great idea! I do feel awkward making plans in the main chat when the others can’t come.”

“I have a break from meets for a while, I’d love to hang out. I see Futaba at school all the time, but I’d like to see the rest of you more. “

“We should do something that’s not too strenuous when Yusuke gets out of the hospital,” Makoto adds. 

“The arcade? I need to get good at print stickers,” Futaba says. 

“Print stickers?” Yusuke asks.

“Ooh! You take pictures in a photo booth and then doodle on them, you’d be great at it, Yusuke!” Sumire says.

“Also I’ve gotta introduce you to this chick, Ena Shinonome, sometime. She’s an art student like you, you can have art friends.”

Yusuke just starts crying harder. “I’d… I’d love all of that.”

Suddenly he has much less to worry about when he can be with his friends.

[nebula-drcams]

@civicmuses asked: How do they react if somebody puts a plate of their favourite food in front of them? Do they gobble it up immediately? Savor it? Do that little wiggle/dance some people do when they are served their favourite food? (for Nimue)

II Minor Details About The Muse– Ask Meme || Currently Accepting

Hm .. hard to say. I'd say savor it for the most part. She's not particularly expressive aside from the fact she does say thank you, but that's just polite in general. Then again it's hard to say because the only person who's made her favorite food for her is her mother and she usually makes it hard to tell what her favorite food is to begin with. 

{ She actually likes Sukiyaki { basically a hotpot } which is something her and her mother would make once a month, which are often good for groups due to it being ' cook what you want ', but if you were to go on solo meals, it's sushi and sashimi with donburi following up for the colder months }

[danpuff-ao3]

9, 10, and 19 for Snape asks? :)

Hello, friend!! Thanks for the asks!

9.) What are your personal headcanons on Snape's diet and favourite foods?

Oooh! Food, my favorite subject!

This one is...complicated. I don't think he eats enough. And when he does eat, it's very "food is fuel." Also: I love to think that he can't cook to save his life. Potions? Yes. Cooking? No. (I also headcanon Harry being the opposite: Potions? No. Cooking? Yes.)

It begins at home, where there was never quite enough. Too poor for much. Watching his mother go without some nights just to feed him. Listening to his parents fight. Then at Hogwarts, mealtimes were crowded and loud. Too many people, too many opportunities for trouble. Too much teasing when bypassing Marauders. Too much politicking among the Slytherins. Just another social situation he couldn't navigate.

After...Well, who has the time to eat? Spying and teaching and researching. And even when it's not by necessity, I can see him getting caught up in one obsession or the next and time slipping him by. I think a lot of his personal needs fall by the wayside, caught up as he can get. And there's an unhealthy sort of pleasure in those moments, that he was so caught up in a passion project that he forgot to eat, rather than being unable to due to other obligations (or a lack of resources.)

Due to his upbringing, though, I see him keeping supplies around. Always with a snack at his desk, his bedside, the laboratory. Nutrient dense, of course.

For all that he can't, and doesn't prioritize it, food can be a luxury. He is a man of the senses. And I think he craves fine things. One exceptional meal is an experience.

So when he and Harry finally get together and Harry cooks up a storm, Severus will be quite spoiled! Harry will cook every night and eventually drag him to dinners at the Burrow. Harry and Molly both will fuss at him to eat more. He'll snark back at them, both offended by the critique, and warmed by their care. When Severus is neck deep in a new project, Harry will bring food to him and prompt him to eat. Eat now, Severus. Look, it's finger food, you can multitask!! Either he grumbles at the distraction, or Harry does it just right and Severus gobbles it up without realizing he's doing it.

Food was scarce, once. Then it was fuel, and obligation. Another task on his never ending checklist. It was a fine luxury, when he was lucky. And one day, food becomes love.

As for specifics, I generally don't see him having much of a sweet tooth. Dark chocolate and red wine as a special treat. He's not super picky, but he likes warm and hearty meals. And really simple, fresh foods, too.

And because to fanfiction, I can't shake the feeling that he has a very specific and deep love for cherries (Civil War series by Sushi) and black sesame ice cream (The Sword of Slytherin by vissy.)

10.) Do you think Snape's character has changed the way you think/feel about others?

Eh...not so much changed, but informed maybe. The first book was published when I was 5. I don't remember life before loving Severus Snape, really. I have always been a big fan!

From the start, he was complicated. He was the mean teacher. He was painted to be the bad guy, only he wasn't, really. There was always more than met the eye.

My first love was this very morally gray character, and that bled into all else, maybe. There is good in everyone, and bad in everyone. You can't judge a book by its cover. Etcetera, etcetera. It's hard to say for sure, since I was introduced to him so young, but...Well, surely it's left some impact, aside from this deep obsession and adoration with the man haha!

19.) According to you, what is Snape's biggest flaw?

Pffff. What flaws?

Just kidding. Y'all know I have a great passion for flawed characters!

This man is chock full of flaws, and that's why I love him. But the biggest flaw? Maybe his bitterness -- scratch that, it's his obsessiveness. I was going to touch on this after, but I think his obsessiveness can take the blame for a lot, including his bitterness.

Too wrapped up in people, in a cause, in projects. He doesn't know how to let things go. He's bitter, yeah, and there are reasons for that. But how can he work through anything when his obsessive mind won't loosen its grip?

The worst is the good that comes from it. The high of being caught up in his passions. The usefulness it provides, when he pushes forward, and drives himself to the brink for the sake of accomplishment.

He's stubborn. He's angry. He's depressed. He's dedicated. He's full force ahead. He's undying love. And all of it, the good and the bad, will tear him apart. His intensity wards people off. And anyone daring to get close will be steadily driven off by his darkness. He's too much for other people. And too much for himself.

Thankfully for us all, Harry can handle him.

Aaaand that's how you link every question back to Snarry. You're welcome. =D

Snape asks

answered: 22, 25, 27; 43, 45, 49; 6, 14, 26; 7, 11; 50, 2; 9, 10, 19

[lady-maria-the-wolf225]

The kind of foods the boys would definitely eat off your ass!! 🤤:

Leo loves his sushi and boa buns. When there are no plates left to use, he would smirk and ask to have you go on all fours. And of course you would for big blue. He would place his meal onto your butt cheeks and eat his meal on you after he finishes eating, he would pour the soy sauce all over you and suck and lick on them and whisper. "How about we have some fun my little dumpling? Hm?" You would blush and the real fun officially begins.

Mmm yeah. Nerd Boi Donnie always enjoys a yummy breakfast. Waffles with hashbrowns. One day he made his breakfast, but uh oh! No plates? He looks at you and calculates. "Hm...waifu's ass + food = a sexy plate..." then the idea bursts into his mind, and gives an evil grinch like grin, his eyes squint, and his eyebrows furrow. He would call to you, and as you come to his lab, he unexpectedly would bend you over, place his food onto your plump butt cheeks, and pours the yummy maple syrup, and puts his cup of coffee on the table. He would eat it with his own bare mutant hands like a sandwich. After eating, he would lick your ass to your back, and whisper "now then my little precious. How about the main course?" Sticking his tongue out as his deep raspy whisper made your panties wet, and your face red. And of course, you are definitely his main entrée.

Raph loves his big steaks! He always said a real man like him must eat giant piles of meat to feed his biceps and abs. No plates? No fucking problem! Just grab your tiny waifu No matter if you are plus sized or not, he would enjoy eating his steaks on your ass anytime!! He would even fuck you while eating at the same time. One day he would fuck you and eat his steak and smother you with the grease all over those plump cheeks of yours! After he finished, he Slithers his mutant tongue cleaning your ass cheeks and he would looks at you and whisper "oops. I almost forgot about my dessert here. Don't wanna keep ya waiting sweet cheeks" and he would fuck you like the dessert you really are!

Mikey Loves his pizza and ice cream! Who doesn't love those two combinations? Furthermore, he always wanted to eat those two things off your ass. One day, he got so hungry, and got his favorite meal. Except one thing. No plates! What can Mikey do? Oh yeah! Borrow his human wifey's ass as the plate itself! He would gobble it all up as you blush and he licks the scraps off you. He would then eat your pussy with whipped cream and he would whisper in your ear "Let's have fun Angel cakes. You know you want to." He gives a devilish smirk at you and then you get fucked sensless.

@kokokatsworld @nittleboo @tmntspidergirl @turtle-babe83 @exovapor @alittletworaph @nikitaboeve @angelcatlowyn @selfless1978 @foreignbrunette @shadow-ninjas @chicchanmooshy @thelaundrybitch @kawaiibunga

[entities-of-posts]

You sure?

*The child hesitates as they pick up a piece of sushi, but as soon as they take their first bite they begin to gobble it down ravenously.*

*After a few minutes, they pause and look up at the Archivist again.*

I lived with Mama and Daddy, and everything used to be okay. And then Mama started talking to spiders, and the spiders told her to do scary things. Daddy didn't like it, and said that he didn't want to stay married to Mama if she was going to keep talking to the spiders, so Mama had the spiders bite him and he died. Mama wants me to start talking to the spiders now but I'm scared. The spiders killed Daddy and I don't want to be their friend. But Mama says she won't love me anymore if I don't do what she says. She hasn't even made me any food since Daddy died so I think she means it.

… I. I am very sorry this is happening to you. You do not deserve it. Please, eat your fill.

*the Archivist stammers, biting back advice it is not allowed to give*

I am. So sorry. But I have my own… ties with spiders. I wish I didn’t, but. Once they have their hold on someone. It is very hard to struggle free from the Web. Remember that. I cannot do much to help you.

… Maybe someone else can. But for now, I cannot do anything but welcome you to stay for a little while more. There’s food, and warmth; I could get you a new coat… but there are spiders here. And I cannot help you run from them.

I’m sorry, dear. I am so sorry.

[faulty-writes]

Headcanons for Fat Gum, Kirishima and Tamaki with a female SO that doesn't eat much, usually just one meal a day and it's not a big meal. It's not that their SO has a disorder or is trying to lose weight, though she does think that they might find her more attractive at a smaller size, but it really is just because it slips her mind that she hasn't eaten or that she doesn't feel hungry.

Taishiro Toyomitsu

A big fella like Taishiro aka Fat Gum enjoyed eating. Heck, it was a functioning part of his quirk. The first time you happened to run into the fat absorption hero was in Hosu City, apparently, some low life thug had tried to steal your purse. Fat Gum came to your rescue, though it was some spectacle to witness him absorb a whole human being into his well, fat. After this, he politely invited you to one of his favorite restaurants. You accepted, believing it was the least you could do. But, you’d never forget the strange look on Fat Gum’s face when you told him you simply weren’t hungry despite the table of food in front of you.

The first time Taishiro asked you out on a date, he took you to a buffet, something you should have expected. “Come on! Open up, promise it won’t bite you! Haha, though I might!” he cheerfully spoke as he held a piece of sushi to your lips. However, you were hesitant to eat it, “Something wrong?” he questioned and it almost killed you to see that concerned expression on his face. You shook your head, playing everything off as if you were fine and surrendered to eating the sushi. Despite the fact, you weren’t even hungry.

Even in his skinny form, which was a shock to see, Taishiro tended to eat...well whatever he could get his hands on. As your relationship grew, Taishiro made it a point to frequently visit your home, of course, he’d always make sure he had permission to drop by. You began to expect his arrival and usually greeted him with homemade food. Which, he always offered to share with you even though you made it for him. This is when he began to notice you didn’t eat much and taking into consideration you didn’t have much food in your home, to begin with, he began growing concerned with your eating habits. Were you eating enough, if at all?

Taishiro was as sweet as they came and if one saw past his looks, they’d be able to tell he was a loving and considerate boyfriend. On occasion when you came home from work, you’d see a bouquet of flowers that were often laid on top of a box of chocolate or some form of take-out food, which you appreciated. But, you knew it was Taishiro’s way of trying to get you to eat more and it was a little annoying that you had to somewhat lie to him about how much you enjoyed the food.

Eventually, a conversation had to take place. Though Taishiro’s concern about your eating was sweet. You had to make him understand that your eating habits were normal, you had little to no self-image issues, and that if you ate too much it would result in a stomach ache. This seemed to disappoint Taishiro, but he seemed to understand. Despite the fact, he continued to give you small hints to eat. You appreciated it, though part of you wished he’d leave you and your eating habits be.

Eijiro Kirishima 

He first noticed your eating habits during a Class A and B get together, something that occasionally took place between dormitories and was more or less a way to maintain a civil relationship between the hero students. “Hm?!” he caught your attention as you sat on the couch next to him. “Is that all you’re going to eat?!” he exclaimed, and while you appreciated his concern. You claimed you didn’t eat much and pretended not to notice when Eijiro added extra food to your plate.

The first date Eijiro took you on was to the hero festival, complete with fun games of chance and rides. Plus plenty of junk food, which he continued to gobble down, of course, he offered you some. A bite of cotton candy or even half of his ice cream cone. “Come on, babe! It’s super good, yummy yum!” he urged with his pointy-toothed smile. But, you continued to decline his offers. Which finally caused some concern, “Babe...why don’t you want any? You hardly eat as is, come on. One bite?” you finally gave the excuse you weren’t hungry.

You thought his concern would be over with, but one day during lunch. Eijiro made yet another comment, “How come you eat so little, babe? You know I’ll love you no matter how big or small you are, right? Otherwise, well I wouldn’t have any right to call myself your man!” he said, and you only responded with a shrug. Though you were worried about your weight on occasion, it was nice to know that Eijiro would still be with you regardless.

Though Eijiro tried to make sense of your eating habits, he ended up going to Fat Gum about it. Asking for advice and such, this is what led to him giving you pounds of your favorite snacks and you noticed his odd change in behavior when he continuously suggested take out food for date nights. You wanted to confront him about it. But, you decided it wasn’t worth the fight and though you didn’t eat much of the takeout or snacks, you appreciated his efforts.

He still tried to get you to eat more, going to such silly lengths as to place your favorite snack between his lips and urge you to eat it. “Mm mmon!” he’d encourage, and though you found it strange. Honestly, quite weird. You leaned forward and took the snack, slowly chewing it. Eijiro noticed your concerned glace directed at him, but he assumed you had to know how worried he was about your eating by now. Was it a bad thing he was trying to help?

Maybe a nice homecooked meal would be more to your liking? Eijiro wasn’t a cook by any means and though he tried his hardest to make something for you. It ended up going to waste because he wound up burning it. “I...I was only trying to make something for you! I thought...you’d eat a homecooked meal or something babe...” the explanation melted your heart though you were beginning to get tired of his constant concern, so you grabbed him by the shoulders and reassured him for the final time that your eating habits were nothing to worry about.

Tamaki Amajiki 

Tamaki remembers the first time he met you, in fact, he saw you in the crowd after he had stopped a villain and Fat Gum urged him to talk to you. Somehow, that ended up with Suneater, inviting you to a restaurant as some type of celebration. Though you declined his offer, which disappointed him. Disappointed was an understatement, the way he clenched his chest almost like he was having a heart attack made you worry and slightly scared you. “I g-guess t-that’s um, f-fair...I mean you d-don’t know me b-but...G-God...e-expectations...” he groaned and you almost felt like apologizing, though you weren’t hungry and it would have been rude to be invited to a restaurant only to not eat.

However, as things progressed with Tamaki. Fat Gum inviting you and his future sidekick to restaurants became somewhat of a daily occurrence. But, each and every time you happened to order. It was always something small, a cup of soup with bread. A small appetizer, nothing overly heavy. Which at times was a challenge since Fat Gum tended to order everything on the menu. Of course, Fat also grew to be concerned over your eating habits which effected Tamaki as well since his mentor would always make comments about it. “B-Bunny, you don’t...want to e-eat more? Is y-your stomach u-upset or s-something, um, I c-can rub it f-for you if t-that’s the case.” he offered and though you couldn’t help but chuckle at his antics, you claimed you were fine and finished your small meal.

Unlike Fat Gum, Tamaki was a little hesitant to continue to bring up the issue. But, he also began to notice a pattern that seemed to concern him all the more. On occasion, he would hear someone else ask if you ate and your response was almost always that you had forgotten. That sounded like an impossible thing to do, then again your quirk wasn’t one that required you to eat like his. But, he debated about setting a reminder of some kind so he could make sure you truly ate. It seemed silly, but it honestly worried him someone he treasured wasn’t eating or taking care of themselves.

Tamaki though he wasn’t known to be extreme, began to bring you food. Something you didn’t expect and whenever you were at school, he always seemed to want to pay for whatever food you were getting and he’d always buy extra. It was a little humiliating having your boyfriend try to feed you spoonful after spoonful of curry. Eventually, you asked him to stop and while you expected him to be hurt, you never expected to see his lip quiver and his eyes water over. “B-Bunny! Please e-eat more! I-It worries me you d-don’t e-eat enough and um, w-well I...” he never got to finish his sentence as tears began to stream down his face. You felt some guilt as Tamaki buried his face in the crook of your neck, were your eating habits that bad they were borderline concerning?

The more you thought about it, the more sense it made. Of course, others would think it was a concern that a person your age didn’t eat enough. You didn’t know why it was such a big deal, some people only ate once a day and that was more than enough for them. But, you decided to ease some of Tamaki’s worries and made somewhat of an effort to eat more. Which seemed to work for the most part, and it made you happy to know Tamaki was at ease. Still, sometimes you wished one’s eating habits weren’t such a concern.

[rachetmath]

TAKING WHAT’S YOURS!!!

JNRO heading to dorm room, ready to relax after a long day of work.

Nora: Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhh I’m so tired.

Ren: That was a more trouble than it was worth.

Oscar: Really? Try going fifty rounds with other students plus thirty with the General. I’m so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open and move my arms.

Jaune with his team made it all the way to the front of their dorm room.

Jaune: Alright, alright, I know everyone’s tired, but now we’re on break. So, let’s eat what we got, like for me, cookies.

Nora: Cake!

Ren: Sushi.

Oscar: And that pork sandwich. By the way thanks Jaune.

Jaune: No worries, consider it an apology for Argus and not saving you a slice of cake. Don’t get used to it thou. *opens the dorm room door* Now let’s….

Jaune cuts himself off, shocked along with his friends at what they were seeing. Team RWBY, inside their dorm room with Ruby eating Jaune’s cookies, Weiss nibbling Nora’s cake, Blake devouring Ren’s sushi, and Yang gobbling up Oscar’s pork sandwich. Team RWBY were surprised to see they’re friends as well with Jaune and one of his eye’s twitching, Nora, with her hammer, furious, Ren staring in disappointment, and Oscar with puppy dog eyes.

Jaune: Ruby!!!

Ruby: Hey.

Jaune: WHY?!!!

Weiss: Sorry.

Nora: *demon voice* MY CAKE!!!

Blake: They were delicious. *giggle*

Ren: *mad but trying to laugh it off* I want to kill you for just saying that.

Yang: Sorry Oscar.

Oscar: *muttering* My- my pork. *sniff*

Ruby: Okay there’s a good explanation here.

Jaune: Explain, woman!

Ruby: It was… finders keepers.

Jaune, shocked at the answers, contained his will to punch something with all his strength, until he claimed down and said-

Jaune: Ruby. This… is our dorm room. All the food you ate had our names written on the wraps, the bag and container. There is literally no way that what you’re saying is remotely accurate.

Weiss: True, but sharing is caring.

Nora: Fu- oh *deep breaths and release* you didn’t even ask.

Blake: Well why didn’t you offer to buy us something?

Ren: Are you serious?

Jaune: We asked, yesterday, “Do you want to head out and buy something from town?” You said, “No.”

Yang: Well what do want us to do?

Ren: Take responsibility. Pay us back.

Oscar: My pork.

Ruby: And what if we say no.

Jaune: I don’t care if it’s a little piece, I’m eating what I paid for.

Ruby: How? *presents the empty cookie bag* I ate them.

Jaune: Well the bits are still in your mouth.

Ruby: Wait wha-

Jaune, catching Ruby off guard, starting locking lips with her. Ruby tried to push him away, but she started feeling his tongue exploring her mouth as it searches for cookies bits, leaving Ruby vulnerable. As Jaune felt nothing, Ruby was enjoying it as her eyes closed up and she started to rap her arms around his neck. After a minute passed, they stopped with Jaune getting what he wants while Ruby, now barely able to stand, sits down and with an amazed look on her face. The rest her team were in disbelief, but it wasn’t over.

Nora: *looking at Weiss’s* Hey have some icing left on your face.

Weiss: O sor-

Nora: Let me.

Nora approaches Weiss and proceeds to lick the icing from her face and her lips. Then like Jaune and Ruby, Nora kisses Weiss with same intent and smoothness as her leader did. This causes Weiss to blush in embarrassment.

Ren: There we are.

Ren spots a piece of rice on Blake face and starts nabbing all them with lips. This caused Blake too also blush in humiliation.

Yang seeing Oscar approach her and not wanting anything weird done to her, presents to him about twenty five percent of the pork sandwich she has not eaten. However instead of nabbing it he implied Yang to feed it to him. Yang confused but does as he says but instead of being weird, Yang found it cute.

Jaune: Well I guess it was worth the price.

Nora: Not bad.

Ren: Wished I can taste more than the rice.

Oscar: Mmmm so good, thanks Yang.

Yang: *red* N-no problem. *pats his head* (So cute.)

Team RWBY left their friends room, apologizing and amazed at what happened. Once they returned to their room, they agreed to never take anything of JNRO again. Well maybe except one.

Ruby: I should probably steal Jaune cookies more often if he plans on doing that again.

Yang: No.

Blake: That was a one-time deal.

Ruby: You wouldn’t know that.

Yang: The answer’s still no, you want a kiss from him, do it without confrontation.

Ruby: *pouts* Fine.

Weiss: *still embarrassed*

[siberat]

Dri/ft’s Mukbang Part 7

“Looks like we are on to the last food selections, huh? Part of me is sad to know this mukbang is ending. But another part of me is kind of happy, for I am rather stuffed silly right now! My belly is so noisy, and I will have a long night tending to this aching tummy! *Picks up the next food to be eaten* Speaking of long nights, let’s celebrate by trying this footlong enerdog! *Carefully bites the enerdog*

Oh, this is sinfully delightful! All that melted lithium cheese and the hearty cyberchili give this the right kick! I’m sure this will be very filling! *Optics brighten* Speaking of filling, let’s move on to this ask from another Anon: Are you going to need your plating resized after this? It’s already putting such a strain on your belly, and you are not even finished yet… I can’t imagine how much plumper you may get!”

*Smiles sheepishly* Well, let me tell you…I don’t know how much more I can eat, let alone my frame can withstand! I feel so bloated already…. Like a beach ball that is about to pop! *Pats belly* This upper part, while it has some squish, is quite firm and bulges out a bit. *Takes another bite, then jostles his belly* Not to mention, this is rather heavy. I feel my legs getting that prickling feeling. * Moves his legs* Hopefully, that’ll help with circulation. Not that I wish our conversation to end so quickly, but I really would like to lie down. *Bites lip* I think my aft is falling asleep!

But as far as my plating goes… well, I had to lose some during our feast here. First was the stomach platting, then thigh plating… and well, only the central plating remains…I feel as if I was stripping for you! *blushes* But I will likely have to ask Rat/chet to loosen the major plating when he returns tonight. Some areas are rather tight and are starting to pinch. *Mentions to his hip plating* No, I don’t mean anything perverted by that! Get your minds out of the gutters!

*Finishes hot dog* Hmmmmm…. That was tasty. What shall I move onto next? *Gazes across the table* Oh! I know this cyber-sushi! * Snags the dish, shows camera* These are another of my favorites! You have some raw fish in a petroleum rice bed wrapped in seaweed. *Smacks lips* Simply divine! *Pops one in mouth*

So, onto the next ask. This one comes from another anonymous user, and it reads as follows:  Awwww, look at your cute cheeks; they are getting chubby! Just wanna squish them! Who else do you think would look nice and all pudgy? *Blushes* Why thank you ever so much for the compliment! My face does feel so soft and round. And with my helm pressing into my cheeks, it does feel like I am getting a granny-style face squish!

*Chuckles, then gobbles the second sushi* As far as who I would think would look nice all pudgy… Would it be a cheat to say Rat/chet? Because that would be my top choice. I think he just has that bulk of a frame that would really be able to handle the extra pounds. Just imagine how thick his thighs would get, and don’t forget seeing that heavy paunch droop over his hips!

 *Shakes helm* But in all seriousness, what I would like the most about my lover packing on some pounds would be that he took time to start enjoying the small things in life. I hate it when he insists on making those disgusting microwave meals. *Snubs nose and sticks out tongue*

If he learned to relax and enjoy the fabulous taste of food, he would be much happier, don’t you think? And if he packs on pounds, so be it. As long as he is happy and enjoying himself, that’s what matters, right?

I’m getting thirsty. I am going to try some of this orange energonade. Apparently, it’s high in oxides and is a very healthy drink. *Takes a gulp* Wow. That is very refreshing! And that orange taste is out of this world! *Takes another sip* You know, orange is one of my favorite flavors. At least right now, that is!

But back to the questions. If I cannot choose Rat/chet, I suppose my next choice would be…. *Face scrunches in thought* It’s still going to be based on the theme of more relaxing and enjoying life as opposed to more of an attraction…but I’d have to say Rodi/mus. While one may not believe it, our dear caption is so strung out with insecurities and worries! Do you know he paces for hours in his habsuit while talking to himself? *Rolls optics* I would love to just sit him down and shut that babbling mouth of his up with some good old-fashioned home cooking!

*Devours another sushi round* I bet he would enjoy some cybersteak and potatoes…or a thick coal burger and fries. And for desserts…he’d probably enjoy a nice, warm apple pie with a scoop or two of energon ice cream on top! He’s another mech that needs to stop and take time to treat himself. And if he chonks up, I bet he wouldn’t pace himself to deactivation. *Licks his lips as his optics dart back and forth* Plus, I don’t think anyone would complain about those hips widening up some, huh?” *Winks, then polishes off the last sushi*

Well, it is time to move on to something sweet. How about these cookies? I freshly baked these today, and of course, some were packed into Rat/chet’s lunch. But these are loaded with chocolates and iolites! *Takes a bite* So soft and gooey! I should have poured myself some enermilk to go with these, but this orange-aid must suffice. *Gulps the cold liquid* Well, that’s an odd mix… cookies and orange. *Chuckles*

So, we have a couple of questions from an anonymous asker. These are somewhat whimsical in nature! The first one reads: Hey Dri/ft! Need help washing the dishes? Oh my, there were tons of dishes to wash! Now, some of these tasty meals were prepped yesterday, and others before I started recording. So, some of the dishes have already been taken care of. And aside from the larger dishes, thankfully, we have a dishwasher in my love’s habit! Just had to quickly rinse them off before piling them in. *Snacks on another bite of cookie* Now, I have some pans soaking and let’s not forget the dishes on the table. I initially thought I’d get to them later… but…*Looks at his rather large body* I somehow don’t think I planned that out the best! I’ll eventually tend to them.

Now, their second question is: Who else do you think would be good eating buddies with you? Hmmm…. This is a good one. And I will not mention Rat/chet because that would be a given. But I imagine my perfect dinner guest would involve someone who could keep a good conversation going. *Takes a sip of the drink and snags another cookie*

Now, I’ll give two since the first one could not count. Wi/ng. *sighs* Wi/ng would be a fantastic eating buddy. Well, once he got over the whole spiel of overindulging. But he really opened my mind up to the joys of good food. In my time spent with him, he always provided me with such exquisite foods I never dreamt of tasting before. *Dreamy look overcomes him* Of course, I didn’t truly appreciate this at the time, and looking back, I deeply regret it. Not only was the food good, but the conversation was deep.

*Nervously smiles* Of course, that wasn’t appreciated either. But how I would love to join Wi/ng in a night of dining and conversing! I wouldn’t take him for granted this time. I would engage in the thought-provoking conversation as we both filled our bellies to the brim! *Face brightens* How lovely would that be? It would be so cozy and homey to share this with Wi/ng! I bet he would give the best belly rubs, wouldn’t you agree?

*Picks up the last cookie and takes a bite* Now, if I had to choose someone in the present time…*Playfully shrugs* This may sound odd and kind of out of nowhere, but Amb/ulon. I have had several talks with him while waiting for Rat/chet to get off his shift, and he can keep a conversation going…once he breaks out of his shell. He is full of in-depth ideas and is happy to discuss them once he feels comfortable with you. *Finishes off the last cookies*

I think Amb/ulon would enjoy the food as well. He looks so troubled, and with his past, I don’t blame him. But I feel a good, scrumptious meal would lift his spirits a bit. He needs to treat himself, you know? Perhaps he will feel much better once he fills himself with a large meal and vents off some of those worries he hangs onto. Plus, food comas tend to put you to sleep. And I have a feeling Amb/ulon needs a good night’s rest. *Face is deep in thought* perhaps I should try to talk to him more. *Chugs the rest of the orange energonade*

But now, I saved the best for last. Look at this cake! * Struggles to reach the baked good across the table* Excuse me…. *Leans across the table* There, gotchya! Wow, things are a bit more challenging with this big ol’ belly! But this cake is huge! I bought it from this lovely bakery we passed by a few days ago. *Grins* It was so hard to not eat a slice! But look at how colorful this is! * Sets the plate on his belly* Now, just need utensils. *Silverware drops to the floor*

Scrap. *Optics widen* Please pardon my language! But there is no way I will be able to get those utensils… *Shrugs and nervously grins* Guess I will have to eat this with my hands… you won’t mind, would you? I am just dying to give this bad boy a taste! *Pulls off a piece and starts eating* This is so sweet and rich tasting! And the sprinkles supply such a pleasant crunch!

Alright, we have a few questions about Rat/chet. The same asker from above asks: Are you hoping Rat/chet brings home more food? Oh my stars, no! Usually, I love it when he brings back some little treat for me, and it’s usually something cakey and sweet. But let me tell you, I am struggling to finish this meal! My stomach feels so heavy and full. My breathing has increased a bit, and my frame is warming up. I desperately need a fan to cool myself off! *Eats more cake* I only want Rat/chet to bring his servos for some good belly rubbings!

The next ask is from Gator-raider, simply asking what Rat/chet thinks. Honestly, I was so scared the first time I pigged out and had an itty-bitty belly. I hid from him for a bit. I feared his reaction! When he did find out, he was upset- but not with the belly. He was upset with me being secretive and such. And I think he was a little hurt that I could believe he’d be so shallow. *Shrugs* I just didn’t want him to be repulsed, you know? But my love didn’t care as long as I was happy. And healthy… his doctorly talks come up once in a while. But he means well.

But I have noticed he brings me more treats, and he has been much cuddlier at nights. *Grins* Well, this may be slightly inappropriate, but his servo’s definitely roam over my frame much more, taking their time to pinch and grope at the plush mesh. Now, I’m not one to kiss and tell, so I will have to end that topic right there. *Winks, then bashfully grins*

*Beeping is heard*

Oh, someone’s pinging me. *Grabs data pad and smiles* Speak of the devil, Rat/chet’s calling. Excuse me for a sec. *Answers device*

Dri/ft: Hey, I’m still recording here, Rat/ch…You’ll be in the video…”

Rat/chet: Still? How much food did you make?

Dri/ft: Um…. Well, a lot…

Rat/chet: I imagine so. Is there any leftover food for me?

Dri/ft: …. Ah…. um….

Rat/chet: You know, it took a lot of restraint on my part to not have a slice of that cherry pie…

Dri/ft: …. well…. I…ah…

Rat/chet: I’ll take that as a no.

Dri/ft: Baby, I’m very sorry… just got carried away with such good conversation!

Rat/chet: *nods and smiles* Do you have a mouth full of food right now, or are your cheeks just that chubby?

Dri/ft: *Blushing and smiling* They are just that chubby.

Rat/chet: Dare I ask what the rest of ya look like?

Dri/ft: *bites lip but pans the data pad over his frame*

Rat/chet: Pr-Jeez, kid. What did you do, eat the couch?

Dri/ft: *Laughs* No, the couch is still here.

Rat/chet: Is it in one piece?

Dri/ft: Yes, it still stands. You are such a tease. *Wags a finger*

Rat/chet: *Smiles and lovingly chuckles* Alright, I will return shortly. I just have to head back to Med Bay really quickly. Forgot something.

Dri/ft: What ya leave behind, your positive attitude? *Sticks out his tongue*

Rat/chet: I Have a feeling you will need something for that belly ache you're gonna be crying about all night.

Dri/ft: Well, that’s what your hands are for, silly!

Rat/chet: … Y…. You’re on camera being recorded… I’ll be home soon.

Dri/ft: Alright, baby, I love you.

Rat/chet: Yeah, yeah, yeah… luv ya too.

*Hangs up and sets data pad down* Now I feel a little guilty… I should have saved him a slice of that pie! It’s his favorite! But it just tasted too good to stop! Just like this cake… *Eats another handful of what little remains* But I am so full! *Huffs as his belly loudly grumbles* You think I can polish this off? Just looking at the last handful makes my whole frame ache! *Scoops the last bit up* I hope I don’t explode! *Opens mouth wide and shoves it in* Hmmmm…. so tasty! *belches* Oh, do excuse me!

*Sets empty dish on the table, then pats his belly* Look how messy I am! I should have brought some napkins. Well, perhaps towels. *Laughs* But all the food is gone-look at all those empty plates! Wow, that was a huge meal. And some good conversations. I do hope you all thoroughly enjoyed yourselves. I know I sure did! *Licks icing off a finger* We’ll have to do this again sometime, yeah?

Time sure does fly with a good meal and talks! But as usual, all good things must come to an end. Thank you for tuning in, my loyal fans! I sure hope we can gather for another night of insightful discussion and good food soon! Be safe, everyone, and have a great night!

*Smiles and waves before the camera shuts off*

[sushigal007]

Over to the Curious brothers!

Well. Two of them, at least. Pascal had to move out at the end of the last round after Vidcund got knocked up by aliens again. Vidcund: They did what now!? Lazlo: How is this still a surprise to you?

Anyway, thanks to some mod reset in the past eight years, they’re all wide awake at 2am, so I let Lazlo do some skilling.

While Vidcund simply stargazes. Vidcund: I think I’m done with aliens for now.

And then the nanny walked out halfway through her shift and I didn’t notice until this bitch showed up. Social Worker: Excuse me, no need for that language, I’m just doing my job, it’s not my fault somebody left a child unattended. It’s not my fault either! It’s not their fault! I know she showed up, Lazlo refused to leave for work until she did! Which is why I quit without saving.

Vidcund: My baby got taken away, cry cry cry. You don’t remember that. Vidcund: THEN WHY AM I SO MISERABLE? BECAUSE ALL YOUR WANTS ARE STUPID.

Why can’t you be like Lazlo and just play on the murderbike all night long? Lazlo: Excuse me the what now? You’ll be fine! I probably have a mod in, nobody’s died yet!

Lazlo: I got promoted! Vidcund: I got pollinated!

He wants to max out Logic, so I make him skill in the hope it’ll help his awful aspiration score.

Stray: *soulful backup vocals*

Oh, and here’s Albert! Hi Albert! Albert: I’M SO BORED! Wow, that’s too bad. If only there was a giant flat screen TV somewhere in this house.

Albert: No need to be sarcastic.

Nanny: Um, I’m cooking? Vidcund: This is just a backup. Y’know, in case you walk out halfway through the job again.

Watching the boys dick around the house gets old though, so I send Vidcund out to the pool while he was still allowed.

Vidcund: So you’re like, really a witch? Jade: Do these sparkles look like cosplay to you? Vidcund: Tell me EVERYTHING.

Vidcund: I think she put a curse on my morphs.

I missed Pascal, so I invited him and Isaac over.

And Albert invited Vera Goth over.

And then just to make things more social, Lazlo brought Mary-Sue home from work. Mary-Sue: The ghosts at your house were always so scary!

Vera: Oh, there’s no ghosts at our house. Vera: Wait, you mean grandpa’s house! We moved out of there when I was a baby! Mary-Sue: Oh, OK, that’s cool. I didn’t know that your mom, my best friend in the entire world, had moved. This is fine.

Vidcund: Wait, I was just stargazing!

Vidcund: I don’t even want to meet aliens!

Welcome home! How was it?

Vidcund: I’d forgotten how much fun I have being probed.

Vidcund: WHY DO I HAVE TO FIX THIS!? Because you kicked out the repairman because you were desperate for a wee.

Lazlo: GOT MONEY!

Albert: Dad! I got an A+! Vidcund: NOW IS NOT THE BEST TIME!

Meet Marie! Except not really, because I took one look at that female baby full of Vidcund’s genetics, looked at the family tree with no other parent and diagnosed unlinked clone!baby. So, once again, it’s a quit without saving sort of day.

Lazlo: I am so done with this. Well that’s too bad because you’re going to have to do it all over again.

Right, just checking, and there’s definitely a pollination tech gene donor this time!

Lazlo: Do you have to do that right in the middle of our tiny hallway? Vidcund: YES!

It’s a boy! His name is Charles! He definitely has alien DNA! He also still only has Vidcund on the family tree, but that’s a problem future Sushi can deal with.

Albert: Congratulations on the baby! Vidcund: Congratulations on the A+!

Albert: Hi Charles! I’m your big brother!

Charles: And you suck.

Baby goes on floor

Lazlo: And that’s why the Nobel gases are stable. Albert: Uncle Lazlo, this is English homework.

Albert wanted a kitten, so I indulged. Their name is Mochi!

Lazlo: And I could just gobble you all up!

Vidcund: Wow, that thing honks!

You could change it? Charles: Please?

Albert: Bathroom’s occupied bathroom’s occupied bathroom’s occupied bathroom’s occupied bathroom’s- I KNOW! Ugh, stop doing that, it lags the whole game!

Charles: Could this be... a competent adult? I wouldn’t bet on it.

Then again...

Sent Lazlo out to the pool. Don’t know why I bothered screenshotting it, except to let you know he left the house.

Whu- why are there two of you? Nanny: Your complaints have been noted and your nanny has been assigned a backup nanny.

So that’s like, ten bucks each.

Today I learned the water sprinklers can break.

Albert: Kitten!

Lazlo: Who the hell are you? Townie: Undercover Nanny observer. Lazlo: That’s not a real thing. Townie: You got me. I’m just here to watch the game.

Albert: Disgusting.

Charles didn’t actually need a bath, but the bathe-baby-in-sink interaction is so cute, I just told Lazlo to do it anyway.

Lazlo: Baby goes on floor. Charles: Fine, but I’m gonna block all the exits.

Albert: I love teddy.

Albert: CHANGED MY FUCKING MIND.

Albert: *chef’s kiss*

Lazlo grew like, 150 fucking tomatoes so now he has a Bloody Mary for breakfast every day.

Vidcund: What do I do with this? Is there a manual? Yes, but you haven’t rolled a want to read it.

The Curious brothers strike me as the kind of people who would have all the fail-safes installed so their science projects don’t lose power, so I made Vidcund do that.

Oh, thanks Jenny! Didn’t even realise we had roaches!

Albert and Isaac catch up.

But here’s the real reason I invited everyone over - it’s Charles’ birthday!

Vidcund: Tickle tickle!

What a dapper little guy. Charles: Gotta poop.

Jenny: You can’t do that literally anywhere else? Vidcund: It’s our house.

Potty training face!

Dammit.

Albert: Uncle Lazlo caught flu? That’s awesome! +5000

Don’t give me that face, Mochi, you initiated this.

DAMMIT.

Albert: Peek-a-boo!

Lazlo: So, I’m healthy. What do you want me to do with this Comfort Soup? Eh, save it. You’ll probably need it.

Yes, I will screencap this interaction every time it occurs and force you to view it.

It’s not my fault nothing interesting ever happens on this community lot.

Well, OK, Beau Broke was there, but that’s it.

Lazlo: Why do I have to do this? Charles is awake. So are you.

Got bored of visiting Strangetown’s two community lots, so I sent Vidcund and Albert on a family day out to Magic Land.

Vidcund: HORK. You were in there for ten seconds, you weenie.

Albert does a lot better on the log roller.

Vidcund: I think I’ll put some ABBA on. Excellent idea, you do that.

Oh look, It’s Sahira Patel, one of the very few Sims who won’t require a complete clothing overhaul when I reach her lot.

Albert: I want one of these.

Vidcund: Hello! Are we related? Stella: No, I don’t think so. Vidcund: Would you like to be?

Vidcund: Ugliest woman I’ve ever seen. Aww, it’s not her fault, she got a bad makeover.

Vidcund: Happy birthday to Charles, happy birthday to Charles~

PT9: Johnny! In public!? Jill: OMG Johnny noooooo!

One of these Sims is not like the others.

I do love a big family gathering. Not my own, but you get the point.

Albert: I wish to become even more cool than I already am.

Horrible suit!

Much better!

More potty training faces.

Vidcund: Here, have some stuff to jazz up your teeny apartment.

Meanwhile, Lazlo brought Bianca Monty home from work. Bianca: I could really go for a giant sack of cash right about now.

...Well it’s better than the teenagers you were all lusting over last round, but she’s engaged, pregnant and living in Veronaville, which is not a great combo. Townie: Judging you.

OH FUCKS SAKE.

Thanks, Lola.

Vidcund: Lovely view of the radio telescopes tonight.

Lazlo: What!? I was about to have a nice, cosy bubble bath!

Once again Mochi, you initiated this.

Lazlo: Say ‘milk’!

Charles: I would literally rather die.

UBERHOOD INDEX

[travelingbytastebuds]

JAPAN

WHERE: Shiki's Sushi Babylon, New York *has since closed*

My first experience with Japanese food was when an old friend of mine took me to Shiki Japanese Restaurant in Babylon, Long Island way back around the early 2000s. She loved sushi but back then sushi was not yet a mainstream thing, so I had never had it before. When she took me there, she asked if I knew how to use chopsticks. I had to confess that I did not. So she told me that they didn't have any forks at this restaurant so it was either use the chopsticks or I wasn't going to be able to eat my lunch.

It took me a good hour of looking like a complete fool, trial by hunger and dropping the pieces over and over again before I finally was able to eat anything. By the end of the meal, I was able to use chopsticks at least a little-- enough to finish my lunch at least. Hunger can be such a motivating teacher!

She smiled as we were leaving and told me, "actually, I lied, they do have forks, but I didn't want you to look like an amateur."

My mouth fell open, dropping right down like one of the pieces of sushi that had fallen to my plate dozens of times.

I forgave her for this after sushi became one of my favorite meals though. And she paid me back for her prank by teaching me the difference between sashimi (raw fish/meat and vegetables), sushi (fish, seaweed, vegetables and rice), nigiri (raw fish, seaweed, veggies and rice) and maki (fish, seaweed and rice). And I was able to pick up a new skill that day, which was fun to show off. I can still remember my grandfather watching me with chopsticks and Chinese food (switching ethnic cuisines a bit here), and he laughed and said, "You don't know how to use those. Just grab a fork." and I smiled at him, winked and used my chopsticks just like my friend had shown me. Life is pretty cool when you've got skills you can show off like that when people are laughing at you.

My favorites types of sushi have always been the cooked versions. Firstly because the sushi episode on The Simpsons still scares me and I don't trust any chef to give me the right part of the blowfish, heh. Secondly, because once I actually tasted raw sushi many years later, I found it far too slimy for me to enjoy. And thirdly, the crunchies and the tempura are the best parts!

AND ALSO...

WHERE: Jimmy's Sushi (600 Portion Rd, Ronkonkoma, NY 11779)

Sushi started to pick up steam in the mainstream throughout the early 2000s and eventually more places were offering it. One of my favorite sushi places to go to on Long Island eventually became Jimmy's Sushi. I LOVE this place! I even had sushi at the fancy Japanese restaurant in EPCOT years later, Teppan Edo, but no one does sushi like Jimmy's. They were a favorite amongst my college friends and I have so many memories of groups of us going there, popping open the edamame appetizers, and talking about random stuff while devouring mango topped tempura shrimp and other delicacies.

Jimmy's Sushi was also where my then-fiancé took me and his family when they visited up from Florida, wherein his little nephew looked over his little marinated octopi and lamented, "why do baby octopuses have to be so delicious?" And then proceeded to gobble every last one on his plate like a madman. It became a running joke for us back then.

AND ALSO...

WHERE: Kit Kats sent from Japan

When I moved to Virginia, my Japanese food eating days were far from over. A friend of mine went to vacation in Japan and asked if he could send me some souvenirs. I'm not one to turn down free gifts, so I replied,  "please do!"

He proceeded to send me a huge box of an assortment of Japanese Kit Kat bars.

The Kit Kats for today only had Japanese writing on them with no picture and I had to search for a translator online to help. Found out that they were green tea. They were... very strange. I think if I knew what flavor I was eating it would have made more sense to my taste buds. According to Wikipedia, "Marketing for Kit Kats in Japan is believed to have benefited from the coincidental false cognate with "Kitto Katsu", a phrase meaning "You will surely win" in Japanese. Some market research has shown that the brand is strongly correlated to good luck charms, particularly among students ahead of exams." And back then, having just come out of my relationship with my fiancé and living in a completely foreign new state with no job yet, I could use all the luck anyone would send me! Why are my friends so good to me?

I taste tested all of them as I devoured every single one (partially due to the fact that I didn't have a lot of food around that time to begin with). My findings were that peanut butter Kit Kats are pretty good (not as good as Reese's which I love, but Reese's is like professional at that kind of peanut butter/chocolate combination). And strawberry was my favorite at first, until the cherry cheesecake flavored ones beat those by a nose.

AND ALSO...

WHERE: King's Sushi (9125 W Broad St & 9111 Midlothian Turnpike, Richmond, VA)

Once I was successfully living in Richmond, I found my new sushi joint which really has been the only place to ever tie with Jimmy's Sushi. It's called King Sushi, and as far as Virginia goes, it is the absolute best Sushi joint down here! It's part buffet but also table service-- you pay one price and then just keep pointing at the menu, ordering things until your stomach feels like it might explode with food... but like in a happy way, you know? heh. I'll never get tired of this place. It filled my heart with the power of sushi when I could no longer go to Jimmy's, so it definitely gets a nod.

AND ALSO...

WHERE: Random Pocky snacks and Universal Yum Yums Subscription Box

I have also had my fair share of Pocky chocolate-coated biscuit sticks just being around a lot of people who are into anime at geek conventions and such.

Universal Yum Yums has also been a great place for me to get some Japanese snacks. In May 2017, they send a box of kawaii snacks and treats, my favorite being the little baby gummy hamburgers that made me feel like I was a giant Godzilla here to eat all the human food in one bite. Rawr!! Always fun to chow down on some Japanese treats when playing Sushi Go (such an adorable game, btw!).

AND ALSO...

WHERE: EPCOT Festival of The Arts 2020

Also want to just point out the frozen sake they have in Epcot. Sake might have been first produced in 500 BC with its invention predating recorded history, but freezing the traditional rice wine is a new style of eating it straight out of Florida. A little of the new world and old world, creating something so very tasty. I think all alcohol drink should be slushies! I would drink so many more of them that way. I ran away that weekend, heading out of town because I was annoyed and needed to go someplace other than home for a while and I just somehow ended up at Disney that Valentine's Day.

In my own drunken social media words, "I'm drunk in Japan in EPCOT drinking frozen sake. There are some manic episodes I regret, but this is not one of them."

[michael-simps-for-adam]

Midamoul? :3

First of all, thank you for the ask.

Moving on, my feelings on this ship are all over the place. Yes, I know I originally came up with the (crack) ship. Yes, I regret it. We'll go with me not shipping it.

1. Why don't you ship it?

Um. Ghoul!Adam ate Adam? Slowly? Over the course of several hours? Which is Very Traumatizing? And then dumped his half eaten body.

Not cool dude. Not cool.

Also there's this post where Adam and Ghoul!Adam make out with tongue and then Ghoul!Adam spits raw meat in Adam's mouth and this contains so many squicks I just can't. BTW. this is in no way an attack/reflection on that person or their blog, they actually have a really awesome blog I follow and love. It's just that the whole kissing with tongue and saliva/germ swapping is a squick (and probably something that would happen if Ghoul!Adam kissed Adam) but then there's raw meat being eaten (another squick) dropped in?? Nonononono. *runs away*

However since I started this (crack) ship I feel obligated to answer "Why I ship it."

There's this one scene where ghoul!Adam kinda bounces on his feet while pouting and its so damn cute?? Part of me melts whenever I see it. I know he was just acting but like. the best appearences/lies have a grain of truth.

So imagine adorable pouty innocent looking Ghoul!Adam on one hand, powerful lovestruck Michael on the other hand and Adam the literally king of good-healthy-communication and possibly forgiveness acting as the glue binding them together.

In my mind it works. I love protective & healthy relationships. Sue me.

2. What would have made me ship it?

If the ghoul for whatever reason also spent time with Adam, apologized and saw the error in his/their ways (if ghouls take the form of the ppl they eat and present in the same gender as them, are they genderfluid? Or do they just eat ppl who have the same gender as them?) and Adam forgave him and Michael also liked him then I would ship it.

Especially if he also had heart eyes for Adam and Michael.

3. Despite not shipping it, do I have anything positive to say about it?

Uhhhhhh. Mind's empty about this rn except for what I said above ^ and that fanart you made where Ghoul!Adam tries to give Adam sushi and Michael gets all protective bc of "YOUR TRYING TO GIVE HIM SAMONELA" and Adam, being the glue in the relationship, placates him and gobbles it up (I'm pretending Adam eats a avacado/non meat sushi as a compromise). I love that dynamic 🥰

ship ask game

[tseneipgam]

“Many of our greatest challenges- climate change, mass extinction, deforestation, soil erosion, water depletion, declining fish stocks, pollution, antibiotics resistance and diet-related disease- stem from our failure to value food”

“Humans originally domesticated farm animals largely because the beasts could eat what we couldn’t, cows and sheep happily grazed on grass while pigs and chickens gobbled kitchen scraps; after a few years spent in fields, on hills and in backyards -during which the bovines and hens provided us with the added bonus of milk and eggs- we could eat them. Provided one was comfortable with the inevitable end game, it all created a beautiful, synergetic loop. Factory farming, by contrast, is almost comically inefficient. One third of global grain harvest is now fed to animals, food which, if we ate it directly could feed up to ten times as many people. Industrial meat production guzzles one third of all the water used in agriculture and is responsible for an estimated 14,5 per cent of all greenhouse gas emissions. Add in the pollution from the football-pitch-sized pools of toxic slurry and the indiscriminate use of antibiotics and you’ve got a hefty pile of hidden costs. Although the negative value of such damage is hard to estimate, one study by the Indian Centre for Science and the Environment reckoned that, if you factored everything in, the true cost of an industrial burger would be in the region of $200, not the $2 we usually pay. The ethical downsides of industrial livestock production are just as troubling. If the term ‘factory farm’ doesn’t immediately arouse a sense of Orwellian disquiet, closer examination of the secretive facilities  (know in the trade as concentrated animal feeding operations or CAFOs) soon will.”

“In a post-industrial society it is virtually impossible to lead a truly good life, since, merely by existing, we participate in a host of social, political and economic systems that, among other things, oppress workers, abuse animals, poison oceans, destroy ecosystems and churn out greenhouse gases like there’s no tomorrow. Heaven help you if you drive a car, fly on holiday, eat steak or own a smartphone. Almost every move we make in the modern world has some distant, negative impact. Just engaging with life’s multiple dilemmas requires vast knowledge and effort, as we examine all the implications of our actions on countless people, creatures, structures and organisms, most of which we barely know exist. Needless to say, few of us are equipped for such a task.”

“Our modern lives are best by paradox. Our technical capacity is mind-blowing, yet we seem unable to match our skills at, say, genetically modifying sheep, landing probes on comets or making robots serve sushi with non-technical challenges such as creating equitable societies, agreeing to disagree on God or coexisting with fish.”

“In order to live we must eat; in order to eat, we must take life. This circularity may seem remote when most of our food comes ready-cooked in boxes, yet it’s logic underpins our very existence. Whenever we eat, we make an implicit value judgement: that human life is worth more than that of, say, a leek.”

“In Aristotelian terms, contentment (comfort) is the goal of the human hedonic cycle: the mean between desire and excess that our reward systems are calibrated to deliver. But here’s the rub: if joy is what we seek rather than comfort, we must allow our arousal levels to build, since our greatest pleasure occurs just as they border on the unpleasant. First noted by the German psychologist Wilhelm Wundt in 1874 (and thus known as the Wundt curve), this phenomenon graphically illustrates our modern dilemma. In order to enjoy life to the full, we need our wants to be postponed, rather than instantly gratified: to experience pleasure at it’s peak, we must work towards it and look forward to it. However, as Scitovsky notes, such postponement is the opposite of what consumerist culture is geared up to provide. We miss out on joy, because our needs are met too easily. Comfort and joy, it turns out, are to some extent mutually exclusive. If we want to experience joy, we must be prepared to sacrifice some comfort, yet our very idea of the good life- embodied in the notion of progress, is to ratchet up the latter. In a consumerist society, said Scitovsky, we are constantly forced to choose between comfort and joy, yet this isn’t always clear to us, since our gains in the former (such as when we snack) are often present and immediate, while the consequent loss (no appetite at dinner) only becomes apparent later. Instinctively, we accept ever-increasing levels of comfort, without realising that we are pushing joy ever further away”

“Early farming was much harder work than hunting and gathering had been; indeed, the very concept of work only appeared when people started to farm. Among contemporary hunter-gatherers, who may spend as little as twenty hours a week actively hunting or foraging and for whom such tasks are embedded in everyday sociability and ritual, the concept is virtually unknown. For such people work is simply life”

“the nature of home is shifting. Once a productive hub where families lived and worked together, it is now the primary locus of individualised consumption. From the comfort of our sofas, we can shop, order food, socialise and be entertained; home, for most of us, is merely a plug-in to the global supply chains that keep the capitalist circus on the road. For many, relaxing at home is a reward for doing jobs that we’d rather not do- a deal that none of us signed up to, yet is fundamental to how modern society works”

“A 2018 study by Oxford Economics, for example, found that the more we eat together, the happier we’re likely to be, and that regularly eating alone is more strongly associated with than any other factor apart from mental illness”

“Fifty years ago, the majority of jobs still involved making something, whether it was clothes, cars, ships, furniture or food. Although such jobs were industrial, many preserved some of the qualities of the pre-industrial workplace, requiring a degree of teamwork, knowledge or skill. Housework half a century ago was more craft-based too: most housewives could make pastry, bake and sew, while cars were still mechanical enough to allow those so inclined to mess about under their bonnets. Today, by contrast, few of us know how to make or mend anything. Most of us buy the things we need, and most everyday objects have built-in obsolescence.... our throwaway culture damages more than our planet; it threatens something essentially human. As Crawford notes, the kind of creativity require to mend things involves a highly sophisticated cognitive effort that brings its own special reward. The fact that our brains our wired to get pleasure out of such manual tasks is hardly surprising: we have, after all, been co-evolving with tools for some 3.5 million years”

“The Greeks believed that a good life required struggle, without it, they thought, being human had little meaning. They admired hard work and frugality because they were necessary to becoming a good citizen. From modern political rhetoric in the UK and US, you would think that we thought the same -’hard-working families’ are constantly cited as ideal- yet it is wealth we dream of these days..,.It’s only human to want an easy life. Yet, as our leisure choices betray, we contemporary urbanites yearn for some sort of action or challenge. We regularly go on adventure holidays or abandon the comfort of our homes to camp under the stars, light fires, catch fish or just barbecue sausages in the rain in order to remind ourselves what it means to be alive,”

“What implications do (such) economic structures have for our chances of freedom, opportunity and justice? How, in the modern world, can we perceive the power structures that govern us, let alone challenge them? The spacial transformations wrought by industrialisation have been augmented by a digital disembodiment that renders power and influence all but invisible. So rapid and radical hast this transformation been that we are only just starting to grasp its implications, The very nature of the public realm is shifting, and with it the exchange of ideas and goods at the heat of society. Once a physical place where anyone was free to act, public space was essential to the evolution of democracy”

“Populism and nationalism are gaining ground, as people react to the failed promise of capitalism and blame migrants for their fate. The irony is that low-paid migrant workers are themselves the product of capitalism, fulfilling the roles once performed by slaves. If we are to build a society fit for the twenty-first century -which is to say one based on collaboration not exploitation- we’re going to need a better mechanism for sharing”

“Abstract and impersonal, it (money) took the agony out of exchange, relieving us of the rituals and obligations that once bound people together. Social bonds, although essential to our well-being, are antithetical to economic progress, getting in the way of its core goal of efficiency”

“This ‘trickle-down’ theory, the idea that all wealth is good, since it will find its way into the parts of society that other economies can’t reach- is a central tenet of capitalism. It’s flip side is the need for consumerism, since factory owners can’t expand unless people buy more of their stuff. Fortunately, Smith observed, our appetite for the non-essentials of life was insatiable”

“When the owners raised wages to encourage people to work longer hours, it had the opposite effect: the workers simply went home even earlier. Mill owners thus took the only alternative open to them, slashing wages to the point where workers could only survive by working all the hours available. A principle was established that remains central to capitalism: when starvation is the alternative, people will work for almost nothing”

“The parallel tragedy of Brexit is that many of those who voted for it -people living in deprived ex-industrial regions-are precisely those whose livelihoods were destroyed by the free-market ideology of their Brexiteer champions”

“The question that few are yet asking is what will happen when the industrial cycle goes full circle and those who currently produce our trainers and tiger prawns decide that they’d like to stop making stuff too, as is already happening in China. Who is going to make our takeaway food and throwaway clothes then? Robots? And, if so, what are the ten billion or so people projected to be living on earth by 2050 going to do all day? Sext one another and play computer games?”

“While all pleasures were excluded from work in the name of efficiency, workers were expected to compensate by spending their wages on pleasure in their leisure hours.... The absurdity of this, said Schumacher, is that ‘man-the-producer’ and ‘man-the-consumer- are one and the same person, who happiness could be just as easily secured at work as at home. He cited an industrial farmer who admitted he wouldn’t dread of eating his own food and felt fortunate to be able to buy organic produce grown ‘without poisons’ instead. When asked why he simply didn’t grow organic food himself, the farmed replied that he ‘couldn’t afford it’.”

“we should treat nature as beyond price -’meta-economic’- as though it were sacred”

“When he buy hand-reared organic produce, it seems expensive because it reflects the true cost of producing good that is good in every sense: nutritious and tasty as well as ethically and ecologically produced. The trouble is that this is the only sort of food that reflects its true cost. The other sort- the industrial food that supplies more that 95 per cent of our diet- is artificially cheap due to the systemic externalisation (often through government subsidy) of the true cost of producing it. Many of the costs of industrialised food- deforestation, soil erosion, water depletion, exhausted fish stocks, pollution, biodiversity loss, rural depopulation, unemployment, obesity, chronic disease, climate change and mass-extinction- aren’t counted in the price we pay in the shops”

“In reality ‘cheap food’ is an oxymoron- an illusion created by industrial producers and governments keen to disguise the true cost of living. While externalities such a deforestation, pollution and climate change are accounted for elsewhere, industrial farmers who would otherwise struggle to make a living from the low prices we pay for food are subsidised by the state. So what might the world look like if, instead, we were to internalise the cost of our food? The answer is that industrial farming would rapidly become unaffordable, while ecologically produced organic food would emerge as the bargain it has always been. Buying food would become a virtuous circle, in which the market would favour foods that nurtured nature, animals and people.”

“In China, as elsewhere, the march of progress usually consists of swapping an arduous life toiling in the fields for a similarly arduous existence working in a factory, trading a tight-knit if remote community for the isolation of a flat in a dormitory district. Whether the former is less ‘worthy of human beings’ than the latter is moot, and since knowing the smell of the earth after rain and the names of birds and trees are ‘goods’ of a totally different order to those of owning a flat-screen TV or Nike trainers, the jury is likely to be out of some while yet...Rural life is undervalued partly because it neither offers not relies upon (such) growth. Indeed, the natural state of rural communities is steadiness. Agricultural yields may rise over time, but will never generate the heady profits to be made from, say, drilling oil out of the ground or clearing rainforests for carrots, an entirely city-led operation”

“At the start of the twentieth century 38 per cent of the population were farmers, and small town America thrived. Today, less than 2 per cent of Americans live on farms, and the US has the most industrialised, consolidated food system on earth. The results have been the highest levels of poverty in the developed world and a depressed, drug-dependent, obese population. Those living in rural areas, who represent the fervent core of Donald Trump’s base support, are so despairing that suicide rates are three times higher than the national average”

“In the space of just six years, while attending to the pressing matter of defeating Hitler, Britain transformed itself from an informed, poorly fed, heavily dependent food nation into a knowledgeable, healthy, far more resilient one. We managed it, of course, because our lives were on the line, which is in effect where we are again, although today we face a common threat far more lethal than a genocidal facist. In order to survive, we need to transform ourselves into an engaged, egalitarian force of motivated, self-reliant citizens. Can we do it? Since the British invented the industrial capitalist model that got us into this fix, one might call it our moral duty to at least try”

“the fruits of the earth belong equally to us all, and the earth itself to nobody!”- Jean-Jacques Rousseau 

“control of food is power, a basic truth we seem to have forgotten. If we want a free society - a democratic global village- it follows that we need a different food system: one characterised not by monopoly but connectivity”

“Living in more locally productive, interactive, societies would make us healthier and fitter. The creation of local farms and gardens would result in more beautiful, greener environments, which would be beneficial to our wellbeing. We’d be less worried about climate change and would live in a fairer world, something also known to be central to happiness. Last but not least, we would regain some of the agency over our lives that the digital era has progressively eroded... Gardening is the opposite of consumerism: one must be active, engaged, patient, observant, empathetic, and, above all, in synch with nature”

“We live in perplexing, perilous, exhilarating times that call for bold ideas and steady heads. Extraordinary new technologies will undoubtedly bring us remarkable capacities in the future, but without similarly daring and innovative social, economic and spatial evolution, they will be worse than useless. It is in this context that food has so much to offer. No matter how thrilling and distracting our digital lives become, food can keep up grounded, reminding us that our fate will always depend on nature, and on how we share it. The way we eat in the future will not only share our fate, but that of every other species.”

“Foraging, it’s becoming clear to me, is more than just a way of getting some free food; it’s a state of mind. We humans are natural gatherers, Robin explains: our ancestors foraged all year round, knowing that, once they had harvested one crop, others would come into season. Following natures’ fruitfulness created an ‘abundance mindset’ in them, while farming, which often relies on one crop that might easily fail, engenders a fear of scarcity.”

“The millions of familiar creatures with which we coexist or unknown critters that may vanish before we ever clock their existence aren’t just handy workers or essential links in the food chain; they are our greatest repository of intelligence about how to live on earth, collated over almost four billion years. All our foods and medicines come from nature and nobody knows what may yet be out there; chemicals extracted from sea slugs, for example, are currently being tested as a potential cure for cancer. Biodiversity matters because it represents an interconnectivity we don’t fully understand.”

“Our bodies contain some 100 trillion of them (microbes), the cells of which outnumber our own by at least three to one. With statistics like that, it’s fair to wonder just how human we really are”

“Microbes are ubiquitous, so what are they actually doing? The answer is that they’re doing just the same as you and me: trying to thrive in a complex, competitive world. They’ve been at it far longer than us too: the first earthly life forms, microbes are thought to have emerged around 3.85 billion years ago, when charged sea particles swallowed some mineral ‘soup’ belched forth by a hydrothermal vent (a volcanic fissure in the ocean floor) to form single-celled bodies known as archer. By eating the world’s first meal, therefore, archaeologist, our common ancestors, kick-started life on earth, using chemical energy to process carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen to form amino acids, the building blocks of life. For a billion years or so, archaea ruled on our acidic, sulphurous planet, but around 2.7 billion years ago, some deadly rivals came on the scene. Cynobacteria, or blue-green algae, began proliferating in the oceans, using solar energy to absorb hydrogen from water, expelling oxygen as waste. This process- a primal form of photosynthesis- transformed our planet. A highly promiscuous element, oxygen combined with everything in sight, not least with iron to form the world’s first rust belts. For the archaea, this spelled catastrophe: since oxygen is a deadly poison to them, our most distant ancestors either died or disappeared underground. Their exile proved permanent: when the oceans became saturated with oxygen, the gas began leaking into the air to create the Great Oxygenation Event, the basis of our modern atmosphere. Once oxygen levels had stabilised at 21 pert cent around 0.9 billion years ago, the stage was set for complex life to evolve, and for animals like us to walk with earth” 

“For the industrialists, nature is split into two halves, a domestic part, that we should exploit to it’s limits, and a wild one that we should leave well alone. Access to wilderness, for this group, is a luxury we can no longer afford. For the organic school, on the other hand, nature is a continuum whose wild and domestic parts intermingle. Closeness to wildness is part of this group’s aim, not least be incorporating more of it into farming. Lurking beneath this philosophical divide, you may perceive, lies another one, over the question of whether humans are capable of looking after nature. While the industrialists argue that we can’t be trusted and must therefore withdraw from the wilderness, the organicists contend that greater engagement with the natural world fosters better behaviour.”

“The French anthropologist Philippe Descola argues that first we need to recognise that our very concept of nature is a cultural construct. This is hard for us to accept in the West, says Descola, since we believe that we view nature with objective, scientific clarify, which in turn makes us see nature and culture as mutually exclusive opposites. Nature, for us, is a sort of neutral backdrop against which various cultures play out. This view led early-modern European voyagers to dismiss indigenous peoples who invested nature with spirits, as mere savages mired in so much mumbo-jumbo. The idea that their own view of nature, with its abstract space and machine-animals, might itself be cultural never occurred to them.”

“When we are in the forest, said Emerson, we experience the ‘occult relation between man and the vegetable’ so regaining the wonder of childhood that is the basis of ‘all reason and faith.’ Nature, in summary, was the antidote to civilisation. ‘To the body and mind which have been cramped by noxious work or company,’ Emerson declared, ‘nature is medicinal”

“By worshipping wilderness at the expense of domestic nature, Cronon argued, American Romanticism induced a form of self-loathing that made people evade responsibility for the lives they really led. While few people would disagree with the need to preserve wilderness, Cronon said, it is vital that we recognise that all landscapes form a continuum that is our home. Only when we can marvel at a humble shrub in a garden as we do a giant redwood in the forest will we have understood where our true place in nature lies. Thoreau was right: wildness (as distinct from wilderness) is the preservation of the world, yet we don’t have to hike to high in the sierra to find it, since it is all around us, in our cities, parks, homes, gardens and even in our own bodies”

“our task at this pivotal moment in our evolution is not just to reconcile ourselves with nature or to save the world by carving it up like some colossal pie, but to recognise ourselves as creatures of the wild. In an age of rampant urbanisation and technical mastery, this may seem like a strange way to describe ourselves, yet that is the whole point. What our reawakened sense of deep connection with nature shows us, above all, is just how deadly the deal we have struck with it really is. If we are to have any chance of thriving in the future, we need to recalibrate that deal, and fast. How then might we eat, live and think like creatures of the wild? Most obviously, it means respecting and preserving the world’s great wildernesses, which in turn means knowing what not to eat. Obliterating rainforest for palm oil or bottom-trawling the seabed for fish (the underwater equivalent of dragging a 30-tonne, 150-metre iron bar across the countryside) are simply not behaviours of civilised beings”.

“The wild berries the Hadza eat, for instance, have between ten and a hundred times the nutritional content of blueberries bought from Also or Asda. Instead of breeding such wildness out of plants in order to achieve higher yields, therefore, we might start farming in such a way to preserve their wildness”

“One US programme called Coping with Cancer found that, when they were given the necessary support to consider their options, many patients chose to let death run its course rather than fight it, giving up treatments and entering a hospice earlier. As a result, says Gawande, they ‘suffered less, were physically more capable and better able for long periods to interact with others. In addition, six months after these patients died, their family members were markedly less likely to experience persistent major depression....patients who received palliative care early in their treatment not only tended to suffer less at the end of their lives, but also lived on average 25 per cent longer. As Gawande remarks such a finding seems ‘almost Zen: you live longer only when you stop trying to live longer’ ” 

“Indigenous cultures generally had two essential measures of time: the cosmic rhythms of seasons and days and those associated with specific events such as harvesting and milling or domestic tasks such a making bread. Activities often stood for time itself. In Madagascar, for example, ‘rice cooking’ meant half an hour, ‘maize roasting’ fifteen minutes and ‘the frying of a locust’ a brief moment in similar to our ‘twinkling of an eye’.”

“as the anthropologist E.E Evans-Pritchard explained: The Nuer have no expression equivalent to ‘time’ in our language, and they cannot, therefore, speak of time as though it were something that passes, can be wasted, saved and so forth. I do not think that they ever experience the same feeling of fighting against time or of having to coordinate activities with an abstract passage of time, their points of reference are mainly the activities themselves, which are of a leisurely character’ ”

“Western society is arguably the least stoical in history; our comfortable, risk-averse consumerist culture is aimed, after all, at removing all pain, suffering or effort (even that needed to peel a potato) from our lives, and thus any need for forbearance. Yet, as we have seen, the attempt to edit out such exertions and negatives hasn’t made us any happier. On the contrary, the expectation of a pain-free, serene existence merely prevents us from taking much pleasure in the comforts we enjoy. When did you last sigh in gratitude when you turned on a tap or flushed the loo? We’ve forgotten the cushion of convenience upon which our lives rest, and the fact that pain and effort are necessary conjuncts to joy and fulfilment”

“he suggests we accept the absurdity of our condition and learn to laugh at it. One way of doing this, he suggests, is to recognise that our human era is a mere ‘scintilla of geological time’ that in cosmic terms is insignificant. ‘From the point of view of the entropy at the end of the universe,’ he asks, ‘who cares about the Anthropocene?’ Climate change is a catastrophe, says Morton, but it is only the latest of a series of ‘nested catastrophes’ stretching back in time. It comes after the Ice Age, which succeeded the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, which followed the Great Oxygenation Event, the formation of the moon, and, back at the start of time itself, the Big Bang. All these events are still playing out, our planet moves in the Big Bang’s aftermath, just as the air we breathe is made by the ongoing Great Oxygenation Event. Time is a series of nested events that form one long, ongoing present. It isn’t linear, therefore it’s concentric. Morton’s suggestion echoes Seneca’s advice that we imagine ourselves in the ‘vast space of time’s abyss’. Playing with our sense of time can help us accept our own mortality and the eventual demise of our species”

“Under certain circumstances -performing music, climbing a mountain or building a ship in a bottle-time can seem to stand still. This is what, as we have seen, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flows- the secular counterpart to meditation. Time stands still when we’re engaged. Rather than measure out our days against a ticking clock, therefore, we’re better off pottering in the garden, painting a picture, or baking a cake. ‘But’ you might objects, ‘what about all the stuff we’ve got to do? What about work?’ That, of course, is precisely what Schumacher was trying to address when he railed against the arbitrary temporal divisions of capitalism. When work is meaningful- when it is task-oriented and social- it helps us transcend time, because it engages us. For this reason, time spent at home, where non-economic work such as cooking and gardening takes places, can be a haven of creative engagement. Because it lies outside the cash economy, domestic life transcends commodified time.”

“the expansion of leisure likely to result from the robotisation  of work could be (so) problematic. As creatures of late capitalism, few of us have the skills to deal with endless leisure -after work, most of us spend our time consuming the rewards of our labour in the form of ready-cooked meals, shopping and entertainment. Yet no amount of consumption can make up for a meaningless life. In order to flourish, we need to feel useful, which means that we need to perform helpful tasks and create things.”

“Happiness is ephemeral; like time, it is not a commodity. If we are to find happiness, it follows that we must reset our temporal horizons: find some way of reconciling human and cosmic time. And I believe that one thing that can help us do this is staring up at us from our plates. The substance that connects us to one another and to our world, food is the ultimate timekeeper. The product of living, breathing creatures that evolved to the rhythm of tides and seasons, it is the daily dose of biochemical energy that fills our bodies with life. It is also the focus of the single ritual that every one of us still performs. It is this last aspect of food -its ritual power- that is key to all the rest, since, if we really want to learn to live in time, ritual is what we need. Ritual, as Mircea Eliade explained in The Sacred and the Profane, is human life experienced between two orders of time. The momentary performance of saying Mass, founding a building, blessing a baby, carving a joint, saying grace of singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ is an act that carries all other previous such actions within itself: it is the living embodiment of nested time. Before technology allowed humans to travel beyond the speed of sound or ping dinner invites off satellites, ritual was the means by which our ancestors transcended time. By combining the secular and sacred temporal orders- for example making a sacrifice before sharing a meal- rituals were the means by which people situated themselves in time. When we repeat such acts from our distant past, we unify the present with a vaster, cosmic order.”