#go watch an old movie abt a college kid or teacher or something

[warmcoals]

ive gotta say, scratching something furiously into a chalkboard, drawing a gash underline beneath it, spinning around with a flourish to stare at the class and punctuating with a loud jab in the general area (leaving a random ass dusty dot) was kind of a slay that we'll never recover. i hope chalkboards stay around

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[sugarpilled]

     ✎⌠margaret  qualley.  cisfemale.  she/her⌡❝  —  well,  look  who’s  just  arrived  !  if  it  isn’t  the  one  and  only  billie  haynes.  though,  around  here  they’re  known  as  the  escapist.  don’t  tell  ‘em ��i  said  this  but  the  twenty-four  year  old  bassist  /  cashier  at  a  dime  a  dozen  kinda  has  a  reputation  of  being  aloof  and  indecisive.  but  y’know,  they  can  be  imaginative  and  peaceful  too.  typical  scorpio.  anyways,  welcome  home  and  stay  safe  billie  !  ❞

     ok guys… hear me out…. a character based off the riot grrrl movement of the 90s but with margaret qualley’s face…. that’s billie

full name.     billie renee haynes. nickname / s.     bill, ??? birthdate.    october 27th, 1995. age.     twenty-four y.o. star sign.     scorpio, babey. gender & pronouns.     cisfemale, she / her. sexual orientation.     bisexual. occupation.     bassist / cashier / wannabe ghost hunter. place of birth.     misty hollow, connecticut.

backstory.

billie’s life was always a little chaotic, tbh ! she was the youngest to kim and elijah haynes, the only sister to two older brothers. she spread the rumor that she ate her twin in the womb in middle school, but unfortunately that was just her lying to seem more interesting.

her house was the kind of small where there’s no privacy. she shared her room with her brothers her entire life which was … a nightmare ! so surprising to no one she was more of an outside kinda girl. always exploring, always finding an excuse to get out, typically barefoot. y’know the type.

winona ryder vc always a fan of the strange and unusual. her and her mom would watch murder shows on id together all the time ‘nd those ghost specials on tv were literally billie’s jam growing up. she’s known she’s wanted to be a paranormal investigator from a young age.

her parents were both huge stoners ! both of ‘em never bother to hide this. their entire family had a 70s vibe to them tbh…. lmao.

billie was never stupid, but she never applied herself in school, either. was always a sweet kid and never got into too much trouble aside from talking a little too much and playing rough with her friends. was very anti-drug as a child, too … ironic isn’t it ...

anyways, she thought there were more important things in life than school so she just never… bothered.

rebel girl plays in the background she started getting into the punk scene when she was thirteen… tho that was more of an emo phase. then she started learning guitar, learned she can’t sing for shit, ‘nd transitioned to bass. started smoking pot around fifteen with the permission of her mom… got really into stick ‘nd pokes… the type to ditch class ‘nd smoke under bleachers in an 80s movie… thought she was Cool™ .

got recruited into rosie’s band and she’s been the bassist ever since!! misty hollow’s own tall ‘nd gay hex girls .. love to see it !!

did one year of college ‘nd flunked. lied to her mom for an entire year ‘nd then got caught oop!! her mom gave her the option of getting a job or getting kicked out. since ghost hunting with shitty equipment wasn’t exactly getting views on youtube, she started getting part time jobs all over town.

she got fired from a lot of jobs over the years. since her band and ghosthunting expeditions are her main focus, she shoves any other job aside.

anyways, her mom eventually kicked her out, but she’s secured her job the thrift store w/ nothin’ but her charm, babey. she lived in her car for her a while, but now she’s found a shitty apartment that she can only afford thanks to her roommates. *👀

personality ‘nd stuff.

she seems tougher than she is. she’s v sensitive, gentle, the type who wouldn’t hurt a fly. at the same time, she gets drunk on stage ‘nd screams at hecklers while the adrenaline is pumpin’ so … love a girl who is dynamic !

loves her friends more than anything. always willing to go out of her way for absolutely Anyone who needs it and is probably one of the least judgemental people ever… but...

she’s also… v annoying. tends to zone out in conversations … always encouraging people to do dumb things in order to ~learn~ … she can never make up her mind about who she is and has no sense of self but u kno that’s just relatable. takes things too personal sometimes nd won’t confront the person but will just cry abt it! 

innocent in the way she seems to b carefree ‘nd awe of the world… like she doesn’t know consequences or worries… just gettin’ drunk ‘nd living life… a Dream

rlly thinks she’s going to grow up and have a show like buzzfeed unsolved while also being a bassist in a very well known ‘nd respected band… the delusion.. lov that for her.

always looking for something to put herself into. creativity is everything to her and without it she’d probably drive herself crazy. her mind is always buzzin’ ‘nd she’s always looking for an Out !

her style influence is v much d’arcy ( image ) ( image ) 

tries to leave as much waste behind as possible… walks everywhere… wants to hitchhike even tho people are getting murdered... is her mother’s nightmare tbh.

believes that the ghosts of misty stranger’s victims haunt misty hollow and honestly thinks she’s gonna be the one to prove it… out of all the professionals in the town…. whew honey

also… is terrified of ghosts and demons. she’s the ryan bergara to her bandmate lou’s shane… she probably cries during 80% of their ghost hunts

wanted connections.

friends. outside of her band!! give her someone to share conspiracies with, or someone who is the total opposite of her, or someone to smoke w… platonic goodness pls!!

a fan. okay… or maybe they’re pretending to get on her good side bc the band’s not exactly popular … that’s up to you!! regardless, she’ll try really hard to stay on this person’s good side.

exes. she’s been in misty hollow all her life, but long distance could be a thing too if ur muse isn’t from here!! good terms, bad terms, idc give me it all.

people who know her thru her family?? her dad’s been a chef at the diner forever and her mom’s a teacher. her older brothers also lived here their whole lives so connections based around them could be fun too, they’re npc so we can plot some stuff out!!

roommates. [ 0/2 ] people she can annoy by practicing her bass all hours of the night… but she loves them! mostly. 

idk, i’ll take anything!! just like this and i’ll hit you up for some plots!! 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

evens. go pee.

awesome Thank you, i Did pee

2:How long have you known your best friend?

a year

4:Were you a part of any “clique” in high school?

fun fact i didn’t go to high school. in middle school i sat at the corner of the odds n ends losers lunch table and usually read, lol. in college i eventually was kind of in the peripherals of a theatre-dept-y group, like, the odds and ends of some odds and ends right there really

6:Do you wish to travel a lot?

it would be cool if i at least knew that i Could 

10:Do you like the way that you grew up?

it was lucky in some ways but overall it was some real bs

18:A random memory from you childhood:

idk in kindergarten there was a field trip to just some nearish-by farm i think to pick strawberries as a goal and after we got there it started to rain and the teachers were like “if it keeps up we’ll probably just have to go back” but then it stopped raining after like five minutes, so that was exciting for us as 5 yr olds. also i just always remember these two kids were “dating”?? which like, what’s that possibly mean when you’re five, but whatever, but this also afforded them some sort of Cool Kid status. and now i’m just like christ how can a 5 yr old possibly be cool. one of their names was jordan, i remember still

20:What was the last thing you watched on tv?

there was this show about like, refurbishing / repurposing old furniture basically, and it was on and i was sitting there. the last thing that was on that i like, picked, was i thiiiink still the pre-halloween movie marathon

22:Would you like to meet any of your Tumblr friends in person?

sure

22:What was the last dream you remember having?

just boring too-irl-based anxiety dreams. boo

24:How many pillows do you sleep with?

one

26:What color is your hair?

brown

28:What is your favorite soda?

grape

30:How’s the weather right now? 

i knew it was cold and clear like 45 min ago thanks to me peeing outside

32:Who do you miss right now?

well last night i got kinda fucked up abt the idea of ppl having this in-person solid group of friends / people who want to see you and be around you, but then also like, i don’t know if i’m cut out for that as something i’d Actually enjoy, and it’s even less certain that it’d ever happen so it’s like, that was half the depressing stuff, then the other half being “well sucks that that’s never quite happened before already, either.” missing a theoretical concept of people

34:Are you still figuring out who you are?

unfortunately...........there wasn’t much room for “be urself and have your interests and feel free to try stuff / have ur actual identity”

36:What is your favorite restaurant?

idk! lol

38:Would ever adopt kids?

if it was like, an apocalyptic scenario where there was literally nobody more equipped to make sure some kids didn’t die, sure. but also like, if this question is just asking like “adoption: ew or I Guess It’s Fine” then like, obviously i don’t want kids but adoption is great if the parents are actually equipped to handle their kids needs, which is just as true for non-adoptive parents obviously, and it’s not like, a Lesser family member or something, or not as good as ~having a baby yourself~ or only okay as a last resort or anything. if i wanted kids i would adopt kids

40:What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

it was just like aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

42:What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

probably just some kind of funky food combo i’ve ended up w/ cuz of just being hungry, which i can’t think of anything in particular rn lol

44:What’s a band you’ve been obsessed with lately?

haven’t had one

46:Do you have a bucket list?

no

48:When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt?

i don’t remember.......i’ll laugh p hard at funney video sometimes but not That hard

50:5 random facts about yourself:

1) i’m sweaty at random and if Only i still smelled good....maybe half the time it’s neutral but sometimes i just am like, im stinkey

2) i don’t think i have any allergies (that ppl aren’t allergic to pretty much always, like mosquitoes. mosquitoes love to bite me actually)

3) i like math

4) i used to read / watch / play a lot of mystery-solving media including eventually like, murder mystery related, but not so much in recenter times and it’s like, was that just kinda easing into enjoying the horror genre or what. idk maybe i also just like Mysteries but kinda cooled on that. also speaking of earlier stuff i remember being real bemused after finally finding out that everyone on scooby doo is technically a teenager??? they just Drive Around being given authority to investigate shit and do whatever the hell they want so i figured these were grown people. i also was confused abt the age of sesame street muppets b/c it was like, idk, i figured grover and big bird were also just grown......everyone out here doing Whatever

5) lol idk i like cats and birds like this is obvious lore already but i’ve honestly been sitting here for like 20+ min like “think of a fact” and just like aah no that one sucks.....no that’s just like a boring memory, Think Of A Fact......nah this other one is also shit.........lol like idek what’s a Fun Fact. i’m not too inchsting

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg

[opulvnts-blog]

the war is over ??  the day is Finally here ?? ( vine kid vc ) sup fuCKERS ! . im sahar, 20, est n’ i suck major ass tbh and i have nothin’ interesting to say abt myself except that i’ve eaten chocolate chip cookies three times in one week and i hope i choke one day , and i love everything about sad movies .  !!! god now since this rp is open ill die for ur mfing characters, fuck me up with them plots . plz like this and come and plot w me ,   u won’t regrat plotting wit me cuz i’ll show u a good time boo boos . ps . i wrote this at 4 am so y’all better tell me smth nice about kennedy or im fucking done . ily all .. 

shes a vegan. wont tell anyone bc she vv reserved . like if u asked how are u she will say smth like ‘ fuck ouuta here fucking fuckboi ‘ and like whenever u get her very pissed off she will say fuck in every single sentence . like ‘ yo dude what the fuck ?? what in the actual fuck are u fucking kidding fucking piece of shit oh my fucking gof fuck bitch” she’s not a bitch or anything she just … toO MUCH ! she also thinks of herself as superior . at times, she can even come across as sickly sweet or just kind in general . SHES incredibly wise and have good judgement when it comes to the people in their lives or the situation at hand. they may not necessarily be too book smart but it’s definitely balanced out by the extent of their street smart/wise. if she’s got an opinion, you can guarantee she’s going to voice it to the highest of volumes. it doesn’t matter whether you’ve known her for 10 years or are complete strangers on the street, she won’t hesitate to share her opinion on the matter. especially if she disagrees with yours. she’s assertive, awfully blunt and arrogant. 

HERE ARE SOME VINES THAT I ASSOCIATE WITH KENNEDY :  HERE  . HERE. HERE ANDHERE  

OK NOW OFF TO HER BIO !

her dad was a very quiet man who was soft and kind and just a goof and she was… the opposite. they got along great when she was a kid but as soon as her teenage years came she just turned into a rebellious ball of shit tbh. her dad could not handle her, even tho he tried his best. he wasn’t the yelling type at all and he’d try to make her realize she was a handful thru calm words but KENNEDY was just yolo. she wasn’t good in school. absolutely sucked at math and any science. didn’t kno the difference between geometry and algebra until 8th grade, thought she was doing the same shit. basically every science is the same. but !! she was v good in english class. like, that was her only good subject besides PE bc she was sporty as fuck and got way too intense about it also she was lowkey a bully but only bullied boys because she felt a strong need to make them suffer and she has a lot of good memories about it  jhdjsdns

 JHGDFGHSYCTG like deadass would beat guys up and be like cOME ON MY GRANDMA COULD FUCKNG TAKE U !!! she would make them m i s e r a b l e things were always kind of tense between kennedy and her mom they never really got along ??? her mom rlly resent kennedy for who she is  even though kennedy really mfing tries to be a good person for her mom to accept who she is as a person.

things got a little better  when kennedy was 6 and her little brother mikkel was born. except………things only got worse a few years later?? there was an accident where mikkel got hit by a car when kennedy was walking him home from school.obviously the entire family was grief-stricken. they just lost their 6 year old son. it was awful. kennedy’s mom blamed herself, kennedy blamed herself and her dad blamed kennedy too. they moved around a lot after their son, kennedy’s brother died,, to different states but never out of the us and it was like none of them could rly talk about it with each other either. her parents started to fight a lot and they each had different ways of dealing with their grief. her mom went out on some crisis and had a string of affairs , while her dad turned to alcohol and abuse to deal with his grief.

her dad left her mom, after the incident. her mom got rlly fucked up like she will go to parties and act like she was 18. kennedy  lived with her mother who appeared to be involved in a few crimes . kennedy appeared to be more responsible than her mother at this point lmao . they got into a car accident under the influence of them celebrating her mother’s birthday. kennedy wasn’t the one driving, but she switched seats with her mother so she wouldn’t get in any more trouble which led to kennedy going to jail for a but bc she was underage .

the cops were like well shes has no one speical so lets leave her with her dad . her dad rlly couldn’t take care of kennedy because well .. he was a mess. he was always pass out on the couch with beer stains on his shirt and a pizza box on the floor.  mia was basically an accident/surprise to her father. he had no desire whatsoever to have kids after her brother’s incident.

 sometimes kennedy would come to school with bruises on her face. she remembers the snatches of convos between girls warning each other to steer clear of the leach, and wonder what they would say if she told them that everytime her father gets drunk she’s not sure being her father’s daughter will grant her immunity. She knew people could tell with one glance, one look, one simple instant. It was her eyes. Despite the thick makeup, they were still dark-rimmed., haunted, and sad. Most of all though, they were familiar. The fact that we were in front of hundreds of strangers changed nothing at all. She spent a summer with those same eyes-scared, lost, confused-staring back at herself. Anyone she was close with would have known them anywhere. she couldn’t sleep at night knowing that her parents will abuse her for anything that she will do. she spent countless of nights staying up, making sure that she wouldn’t have any slip ups in the morning when she woke up

 she spent the rest of her senior year shut off from the world as she grieved not only her brother, but the girl she used to be. she’d always been expected to go on to university & do something that would make a hell of a lot of money, but as her classmates got busy filling out their college applications, she holed up in the school’s auto-shop, learning how to work on cars.a few months after graduation, her grandfather passed ( of natural causes, thank god ) & she received a hefty inheritance. her classmates and teachers, lmao,  watched in horror as their precious gem of a daughter shelled out thousands of dollars to purchase her own garage, with plans to become a mechanic. she's not rich,  but she does have her own money . gives her a opportunity to say ‘at least i got here all by myself and not with mommy’s or daddy’s money’ heh…. 

kennedy  is somewhat emotionally stunted. her remaining friends from high school have all gone their separate ways & she hardly speaks to any of them. she’s dabbled in a romantic relationship here or there, but most of them have ended badly. basically? she’s a disaster. 

[spnife]

91 question tag

Tagged by @vanillabeanniall​ and then @uswntinharmony​

More below the cut bc that’s how I roll

the last – 

1. drink: Arizona Tea

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my mom - she sent me two climbing videos. Or I sent them to me, from her phone

4. song i listened to: What a feeling, but I was asleep (i checked the music app just now), so the last song I remember hearing is Ray of Light by Madonna

5. time you cried: wednesday. First day of school was today so it was some stress

have you ever – 6. dated someone twice: yeah

7. been cheated on: yeah. I became friends with the guy though. Similar tastes I guess???  (( Actually I blocked him on snapchat last year bc he was talking some bs on his story but in eigth grade he wasn’t awful))  She lied abt it though and then talked to me two years later and still lied like okay

8. kissed someone and regretted it: no ragrets

9. lost someone special: not really

10. been depressed: fuck hell yep

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no. I had like a sip of beer on a trip but it was just to mess with a dude while he was in the porta potty

list 3 favorite colors – 12. light blue

13. orangish pink

14. dark purple

in the last year have you – 15. made new friends: heck yeah. I switched schools and found a really good group of people there already. It’s been alright

16. fallen out of love: not in the last year. gotta be in love first

17. laughed until you cried: probably but I don’t remember rn

18. found out someone was talking about you: I think? I found out parents were saying nice things about me. Mean wise maybe? I’m not really sure. Probably

19. met someone who changed you: at least one. a teacher last year

20. found out who your true friends were: i think? 

more –  21. kissed someone on your facebook? alas, i do not have a facebook

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? see 21

23. do you have any pets? A super sweet black lab named FeeBee, a kitten named Mulder and a cat named Milo, and a hedgehog named Wembly

24. do you want to change your name? i like my name. My last name bothers me sometimes bc dad stuff but it’s gotten better

25. what did you do on your last birthday? I had a chill day at school, got a nice car, got a card from all of the kids on the climbing team. One of them said “Wow Coach Ella, you only have two more years til you can drink,” like i’m sorry kid I’m only 16

26. what time did you wake up? 7. first day of school

27. what were you doing at midnight? crying and putting school stuff in my backpack and watching VEEP

28. name something you can’t wait for: to keep getting better at climbing, the Harry Styles concert on oct 11, my birthday on oct 13 bc it should be fun and I hope I’ll get another card from the climbing team bc they’re all lovely

29. when was the last time you saw your mother? today

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? i want to know that I’ll be able to be happy

31. what are you listening to right now? watching Raising Hope

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yep

33. something that is getting on your nerves? I keep getting anxiety while I’m at climbing practice and that’s one of my most comfortable places. it feels like im going downhill with climbing even though I know im getting better

34. most visited site: netflix

school –  35. elementary: i loved my elementary school. every teacher i had was amazing, small school in austin and a good community and i still talk to my friends from there. so when i moved to the new school in fifth grade and depression was already showing up, the differences made it literally hell. it was awful. i didnt like my teachers and i didnt know people

36. middle: 6th grade was hell, 7th grade was even fuckin worse, 8th was still pretty bad. All the worst years of my life so far, and tbh it’s gonna be hard to top them

37. high: better than middle school but thats a really fucking low bar. like incredibly low.

38. college: planning for ACC for two years to get base courses, dream school UT in an engineering major. I love the school and the program there, but I worry if I could barely get through middle school, how tf am I supposed to survive college. Also it didn’t feel great when I was talking to a friend and I was like “yeah ut is tbh my dream school, if I can get in” and she was like “oh that’s one my last choice colleges” like fucking okay love you thanks for telling me that makes me feel real good about my intelligence and how you view me

me –  39. hair color: brown

40. long or short hair? shoulder length

41. do you have a crush on someone? yep. according to a friend i am “so gone for this girl” but um. oka y what if she doesn’t like me? I feel good around her though and she likes being around me and we work well together I think. She’s lovely and I wouldn’t want to make things weird by asking her out if I don’t know she feels that way too.

42. what do you like about yourself? I am able to figure things out and I work with kids really well. I’ve also been getting better at climbing again so I’m proud of myself for that

43. piercings? just my ears

44. blood type: lol yeah like i know?

45. nickname: ellallalala is something I’m getting from people at the new school, and I’ve had some climbing nicknames over the years but Coachella is sticking. I coach and my name is Ella it’s great

46. relationship status: nope

47. zodiac sign: libra

48. pronouns: she/her

49. favorite tv show(s): always sunny, parks and rec, my name is earl, curious george

50. tattoos: soon

51. right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? right

first –  52. surgery: i had one on my pelvis in 2013? i was in preschool and it was for this weird group of veins on the side of my leg. We’d always called it a birthmark and after the surgery the scar looked like a sunset over water but the sun is purple (still looks like that it’s rad) and the first time someone showed me a birthmark i was like??? Um no thats just a little dark bit of skin?? my birthmark is purple what is this shit

53. piercing: ears

54. sport: rock climbing. found it early and still love it

55. vacation: no idea

56. pair of trainers: first i remember are a PAIR OF DORA LIGHT UP SHOES

current –  57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: arizona tea

59. i’m about to: finish my arizona tea

60. listening to: the episode ended so me typing and the clock my great grandmother gave is

future –  61. waiting for: me to feel alright

62. want: to like what i’m doing and to know i’m able to be happy doing it. I wish I could just skip to being married with kids and a dog and everything.

63. married: oh for sure

64. career: astronaut has always been my dream career but with this level of anxiety it’s probably a no go. I am not over it. I’m def gonna cry abt it in a couple of minutes bc thats how it goes, ya know. The last astronaut I talked to though said “the biggest disqualifier is not applying” so i’m still going to try my hardest. I also love engineering and physics and space and science and education and would love to be a librarian, so we’ll see

your type – 
 65. hugs or kisses? depends

66. lips or eyes? eyes, i guess. There’s more character there

67. shorter or taller? in my head i’m always like oh taller but really it doesn’t matter. as long as i can be little spoon im good to go

68. older or younger? doesn’t matter

69. nice arms or nice stomach? tummies are cute i guess. 

70. sensitive or loud? i don’t know

71. hook-up or relationship? right now relationship and at some point relationship but ask me a couple months ago and it would have been different

72. troublemaker or hesitant? both. troublemaker with a lot of decisions but in fun ways, but hesitant when it comes to talking to new people that i want to be good friends with. and asking people out

73. kissed a stranger? yep. on a bet

74. drank hard liquor? had some jack daniels mixed with coffee and it tasted like cinnamon toast crunch

75. lost contact lenses/glasses? my glasses always turn up

76. turned someone down? yeah. accidentally on a few though lol. As i had a crush on someone i went out with for a little while last yeah legit three other people liked me and i guess im oblivious bc i had no fucking idea

77. sex on first date? depends

78. broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so

79. had your heart broken? yes but in a friendship way along with the relationship. it goes back to the you should kill yourself stuff

80. been arrested? nope

81. cried when someone died? no one i’ve known closely has died. My great-great grandmother died when i was fiveish but she was really old. There have been a few suicides at my old school (i switched 2 months before end of last year) and those hit hard, just knowing that there are so many people here dealing with that stuff and me relating to it. I didn’t know the people well but we’d spoken and I knew them some, but I had some friends who were much closer and really affected

82. fallen for a friend? yeah

do you believe in –  83. yourself? i try

84. miracles? shit happens, and sometimes it’s good

85. love at first sight? who am i to say tbh

86. santa claus? no

87. kiss on first date? if i like them

88. angels? no

other –  89. current best friend’s name: skip

90. eye color: hazel

91. favorite movie: i dont know im tired and want to cry sort of so maybe i shouldnt think about this stuff as much when im already stressed im going to go drink more tea and eat some soup

Anway

I’m tagging anyone who reads this far. gotcha

[shitpostingperidot]

tag game #1

tagged by @shinelikeastarlight​ 

tagging: @queerczar​ @persona-engine​ @kates-barbaric-yawp​ @mebediel​ @brokenlightdances​ @petticoatsandparlipro​ @oshindijo ok so some of these questions are about kpop and i don’t know anything about kpop so like im not gonna answer these questions and you don’t have to either, also it’s long as shit so i won’t take offense @spacewifespock and @boyjadzia you were tagged in sara’s but idk if you’ve done it

last text sent: “and puppers”

list three favourite colours: purple, blue, teal-ish

what time did u wake up at today: idk late what were u doing last night at midnight: watching faking it with @spacewifespock​ and @boyjadzia​ name something you can’t wait for: finding a job when was the last time u saw ur mother: two weeks exactly one thing u wish u could change abt ur life: recognition from parents and teachers and medical professionals that reading at a young age and being assigned female at birth do not preclude diagnoses of developmental disorders whats getting on ur nerves rn: right at this second, the fact that my room is very small favourite tv shows: dollhouse, su, btvs, got a big soft spot for bones  first best friend: cora in 1st grade, we became fast friends because she stayed at my house every day in the summer while her mom worked listening to rn: my roommate and her friend reading shitposts out loud 

3 fears: abandonment, 3D movies, insects

4 turn ons: soft hair, nibbling my ear, being the big spoon, i think i took this question too literally 4 turn offs: disrespectfulness, stalkerish behavior, lack of willingness to learn from mistakes, policing my food choices sexual orientation: hell if i know, into girls and maybe into guys but idk if that’s real or a comp het thing senior year quote in my year book: “how lucky i am to have something that makes leaving so hard” -aa milne (also lmao i was so glad to be getting out of that hellhole this quote is absolutely a lie in that context) first thing i notice in a person: entirely dependent on the context in which i encounter them shoe size: us womens 9ish eye colour: bluey greeney  hair colour: i’m not sure how to describe it but i failed at doing box dye job of blue (while drunk) about six weeks ago so bits of it are bleached, bits are green, bits are greyish, bits are my natural dirty blonde, it’s a mess favourite item of clothing: my new gay baseball space shirt from the regina spektor concert what colour of underwear i’m wearing rn: ugly cream color with flowers ultimate bias: whats a kpop ultimate bias group: what is the difference between this and the other question favourite season: the days in winter that are both sunny and snowy how much time i spent on designing my blog: i spent a few weeks finding a theme and then like 30 mins customizing it the reason i joined tumblr: the gf pestered me about it do i ever get “good morning” or “goodnight” texts: every night from both my mom and gf, rarely morning though i like to send them when did i last hold hands: about 3 hours ago how long does it take me to get ready in the morning: depending on my executive function level between five minutes and two hours to do the same exact things brain why u do this have i shaved my legs in the past 3 days: try five years where am i rn: in bed do i like music loud or at a reasonable level: reasonable but if it’s actual speakers i like to stand next to them and vibrate 3 things i love: my gf, dogs, video games how i feel rn: sleepy something i rlly, rlly want: a job 3 things that upset me: when people say one thing and do another, subtext, the breaking of promises what i find attractive in other ppl: good taste in video games, passion and knowledge, respect of my interests, cuddliness, being strong “in the real way” (okay i’m literally just describing abi) 3 habits i have: dermatillomania, snoozing my alarm for hours, not doing laundry something i fantasize abt: i have a very specific fantasy about visiting abi in europe next year, it is a several day itinerary i think about something im talented at: emotional labor the blog i give the most notes to: spacewifespock last person re-blogged sth from me: @single-ready-for-pringles do  i smoke/drink: no/yes my favourite food: peanut butter my favourite dessert: a three layer brownie bar my grandma made but now i can make it what i did yesterday: spent the day searching for a lost cat number of kids i want: dude idk i almost got suspended from college last quarter this is something i don’t need to be thinking about number of siblings i have: 1 human, 1 dog something thats constantly on my mind: abi :)

last person i messaged on tumblr: my tumblr sister oshindijo can i drive: theoretically, i’m not insured though which given the absurd number of car accidents my family has been in that are other people’s faults, gives me pause even when i’m in tn and have access to a car what state or part of the world do i live in: chicago, illinois am i in school: i’m on extended student status, which means i’ve finished my graduation requirements but can’t yet graduate for various reasons, so i’m auditing a class this quarter and gettin that degree in june do i get grossed out easily: i get grossed out by very specific things and gore/bodily fluids is not one of them because in high school my interest was the tv show bones somewhere i would like to visit for a week: i wish i had enough money for tokyo disneyland, alternatively, visiting abi next year, going on her old stomping grounds in rennes, taking her to my old ones in paris, making some new ones for ourselves i’ll love u if: you help me through my problems last show i binge-watched: theoretically faking it what words upset me the most: r word what words make me feel best abt myself: when abi gets really drunk and starts telling me that i am exactly how i wish to be perceived in the world, that’s good a wish that i’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: okay so i had one that was on behalf of myself and i knew i was in love when i unconsciously switched to one that was on behalf of abi and i knew that i meant it who i would switch lives with for a day: i was gonna say anita sarkeesian but sara @shinelikeastarlight has got the right idea, switch with some rich fuckboy to show him how the other half lives and also wire a bunch of cash to the real me my favourite ice cream: moose tracks allergies: almonds, mold, ragweed, the usual plants, but none but almonds has ever been a problem in chicago sexiest person to come to mind immediately: abi ;) my childhood career choice: YA writer or editor one of my insecurities: becoming a bad student when i used to not be how many blogs am i following: 892??? i need to be more aggressive with the unfollow when i see something that pisses me off how many tabs/different windows do i have open at this very moment: 17 coke or pepsi: dr pepper tea or coffee: tea, because you can steep one tea bag on multiple occassions movie or book: book a sense i would be willing to lose: controversial opinion: sight quote i live by: my inner voice/things that i remember are uh, not kind enough to me to repeat type of accessory i wear the most: it’s rare that i’m not wearing a hat last awkward situation i found myself in: being unsure if i should get off the bus at my apartment or drop abi off and walk home and the bus was like at my stop when i realized i’d have to make this decision what time is it rn: 1:53am

a song that made me cry: when regina spektor at her concert last friday played a russian lullaby in memory of an old friend and chicago resident who had died since regina had been to the city last, i have no idea what they were saying but it was emotional first song u ever sang at karaoke: my eyes from dr horrible with some dude i didn’t know who was the only one who knew the other part

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i can remember going to like five bday parties

1. kid in preschool who invited pretty much everyone. all i remember was going up the driveway

2. kid in elementary school named tommy who didn't have hardly any friends, same. we went to the bowling alley and i'm sure that was great. i'm cool with bowling.

just remembered i had a kinda friend named sophia for a few years cuz our moms worked together or smthing. she was fun we just didnt see each other that much. also had a friend in early elementary school named michael who i enjoyed being around, which was rare i actively wanted to be friends with someone, he was cool too. i think he went to a different school after a couple of grades tho. another rare friend i wanted to be friends with was the one where we were both so quiet that im not even sure we spoke the same language, in a literal sense. but that was the one where one day i guess the teacher wanted to make an example out of a couple quiet kids who never did anything coz we were getting a kick out of looking at each other thru the holes in our folders and it wasnt even a lesson but i had to carry my assigned desk across the room and for someone who interprets attention as dangerous it was a trial for me though i pretended it was fine coz i have had a stubborn streak since old enough to have like any traits at all. other people i wanted to be friends with pre-college: josh, who i was friends with, but after we went to different schools and i found him on facebook he refused to talk to me coz he was going through a hardcore late emo phase i guess and i hope that part of his life has settled; emily, who was cute and friendly and we were acquaintances who shared classes but i never spoke to anyone and we never got a friendship going thru coincidence, saw her years later at my summer job and she seemed alive; arissa, who i was friends with and could goof around with but then we went to different schools and never had any contact since

3. a sorta friend from since-preschool, this one was pretty fun, it was a smallish sleepover and we watched a movie and did the thing where you pour some colors into a mold and bake ur own custom superball, there were fireflies too, her parents were nice.

4. a friend who had a pool party which was great b/c i like pools. accidentally gave her a present meant for my dad because they were the same size and i wrapped them together coz their birthdays are close together and i didnt even realize it until my dad opened the one meant for her a few days later. classic

5. a friend who went to a concert kind of but it was like a mom concert especially since her mom took us and it was fine but i dont count it as my first concert which was me sneaking off to see kesha. it was good except she hadnt ever said it was a birthday thing so i hadnt brought a gift and there was only one other person invited, who totally had. Classic

6. just remembered another one which was a elementary school friend for a couple years, all i remember really happening was using coloring books and she got really stressed about finding a marker she'd just gotten as a gift because her parents would be mad. also got stressed when something spilled i think. i recognized that pretty easily so im really assuming her parents were abusive too. she wasnt always that great a friend though and it made me mad, like one time in art class she asked my advice on how to fix flower stems she'd painted too wide and i said well all i could really think to do was use some white paint on it, and when she did that and the paint didnt opaquely cover up what she'd painted she got mad at me and for some reason stole my scissors to get even with me for ruining her painting. third grade me didnt think that was cool. plus she always took half my sandwich at lunch, like, bro. but that wasnt as annoying as the time a friend in middle school who was one of the only people to actually hang out with me was not only going thru a period of not hanging out with me but also only talking to me to get my math homework to copy from during lunch. and then one day she didnt even give it back before lunch and our next period was math and anyways i was upset about getting a zero but then i didnt care pretty quickly. she was pretty nice anyway. and i came to give like rock bottom amt of shits abt school within time so looking back im definitely not even mad. that scissors thing was still out of line tho by contrast

thrillingly i thought of that topic coz once i tagged along to a bday party of one of my sister's friends, my sister being a person who actually has friends. it was pretty fun and it was just backyard running around and one of them let me race them around in circles on a bike, which i recognized as gracious from a kid three years older. i think that was where my sister got a plastic cup that looked like a coconut that my mom took and threw away later to punish her for whatever and i remember coz my sister cared enough about it to ask her not to throw it away but of course that doesnt work

i had a bday party once? in elementary school. i guess we saw a movie but im not sure what it was. and it was a sleepover so apparently i couldnt invite my friends who were boys, which was at least half of the precious few of them, which i thought was dumbassed as hell, on account of it was. plus for like weeks in advance my mom threatened to cancel it for whatever thing of the day was pissing her off. probably not playing piano for thirty minutes a day which i never wanted to do but for some reason had to do for years because i made the mistake of wanting to do the thing my sister was when i was like five and a clueless fucko. and we owned a piano. idk why my mom gave a shit that if we showed any interest in learning we Had to, for 30 min a Day which is an eternity in kid time, and also we couldnt stop. that was a weird thing that i forget about. i forget about 86% of my life and 93% of the first third or two because there is not much worth remembering as you can imagine. i mean, its mostly there in my memory, its just hard to pull up anything unless i have a specific reminder of a certain memory or else just try really hard i guess. i'm just out here, who knows what was going on back then. besides bs