#go vote/advocate for our mad doctor as much as you can while I’m gone on my 2 week long trip!!

[d0t3xe]

Here’s a quick doodle of Starline I did for the sonicpoorlittlemeowmeowshowdown (which he lost, but it’s the fight that counts) ‼️

Even through his shortcomings, you can still support him in the problemqueertournament right now, so go vote for him while you still can!!!

[ijustwannabeasuperhero]

A Sneak Peak

Gooooooood Morning, Seattle! Today is March 19th, and, if my weather app can be believed, we’ve got about twenty minutes of rain before it’s clear skies. But you aren’t here for the weather, are you? Heck no you aren’t. You are here for some of that sweet, sweet unfettered superhero journalism that I provide to you for the low, low cost of my dignity. Also, if you want to support me, there’s a link to my Patreon and my Ko-Fi account down below.

For the first time in almost 20 years, Seattle, Washington has hit a golden era of peace and quiet. Last month, our very own Seattle native hero, Legend took down the tragically named Mad Mongrel, the latest in a long string of B-list supervillains that are more costume than competition. Mongrel’s court case will be later this month and you can bet that I will cover absolutely everything about it. I just hope I don’t put you to sleep. Because, so far as I can tell, Mad Mongrel’s long list of crimes includes—lemme check my notes here—freeing animals from a science lab and terrifying a class of small children by opening the cage of their classroom lizard.

…yay?

It’s not that I’m advocating for someone like Madam Pain (that costume, am I right?) or that iconic brother-sister robbing duo the Double Dare to show up. Or even someone of Doctor Heath’s caliber, mind you. I am perfectly fine living in a city where we only have to worry about the normal kinds of crime. I’m just saying that it seems weird that despite this long list of underwhelming villains, our local OSI—Office of Superhuman Intelligence for those who have been living under a rock—is trying to take on a new superhero?

I mean, on the one hand I get it. Seattle is pretty much the super capital of the world. We have the super-powered dream team; The Paragons, which is already composed of the most powerful super hero ever born, his long term psionically girlfriend, a super scientist, and a techno-assassin. We don’t really need a new hero, do we?

The eggheads at OSI have released a public statement that they are moving forward with filling the vacated seat of Void, a long-time member of the team that, well, you all know the story. Dude went and threw a dude off the OSI building. And not just any dude, oh no. He went and obliterated Daniel Walker, beloved millionaire and philanthropist. While the internet is filled with conspiracy theories about Void being mind controlled, a clone, or it was an accident gone horribly, no one really knows what happened or how. Void, who can literally turn into shadow, has been impossible to find.

Dude, if you have a comment, send it my way.

Anyway, the short list of heroes who could fill Void’s spot is… well… short? Everyone knows that there aren’t all that many superheroes out there. Oh, there are heroes, of course. But most of them are highly trained combatants. More hero than super. For a while there, it seemed like Prism was going to take Void’s place, but, after a severe accident, she’s taken early retirement. Very early, considering she’s, at best, twenty-five.

My vote is for Gamma. Have you seen her? Someone please give her my number. She could step on me and I would cry tears of gratitude. See pictures for proof. That she’s hot, not that I want her to step on me. On a completely unrelated note, someone please delete my browsing history when I die. I’m already a disappointment to my family as it is.

Gamma’s powers are a near match to Legends. Her released backstory says that she was blasted with some kind of radiation while in utero, which makes her a rare “I was born this way” kind of super. She uses gamma energy to create nearly impenetrable force fields around her body, can keep up with Olympian track stars, and can punch her way through a brick wall. See the video link below for proof.

Seriously though, Gamma has been working with the South-Eastern branch of the Office of Superhuman Intelligence. She currently the big fish in Virginia and North Carolina, taking on some pretty impressive villains while wearing a very form-fitting sapphire blue ensemble. The Queen of Hearts was the most recent and most noteworthy. Though, if we are still talking about people, I would be a-okay with being stepped on…

One day I will go to a therapist and find out why I have a thing for long-legged ladies in skin tight outfits treating me like the welcome mat, but today is not that day.

What do you think? Which hero do you think we ought to offer the coveted spot on The Paragon team? Agent 7 of New York City? Miami’s El Toro? Comet? What about Madam Mercury or Quake? Leave a comment down below! I love hearing every idea and theory you guys throw at me, no matter how wild.

If you are as into skin tight beauties as I am and want more superhero content feel free to like and subscribe. I update Tuesdays and Thursdays regardless of what is going on in the world. And I live update on my Twitter when things are. If you would like to save me from crippling student loan debt, maybe click on that Ko-Fi link and send a few dollars my way. See ya Thursday, Crusaders!