#go shinwon fic

[jaemmphilia]

★ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘺 ★ || b.c.

★ summary: y/n choi is a employee at jype offices, working in the graphic design department. having just broken up with his boyfriend, he finds himself enjoying the comfort of another man, one that he really shouldn't be enjoying...

★ characters: choi y/n, christopher bahng, lee minho, seo changbin, hwang hyunjin, han jisung, lee felix, kim seungmin, yang jeongin

★ warnings: language, office sex, bj under the desk, sexual tension, oral (chris receiving), unprotected sex (pls wrap it before you tap it guys), spit, a bit of ass worship (have you seen the cake on channie??), chris being soft for reader, very sloppy kissing, 

★ word count: ~6.4K

★ binnie’s thoughts: i literally had the idea of banging chan while i was in the shower and my friend just gave me ideas, so here i am writing this filthy shower thought, minors go away before i eat your homework, also this is way longer than it has to be, but i’m a sucker for details

★ disclaimer: this fic in absolutely NO way represents the stray kids members as people. this is just for fun, so don't take it to heart. just enjoy!

Today could not get any worse, there was absolutely no way. If it got any worse, Y/N just might throw himself into traffic. 

It all started the previous night. Y/N was getting ready for bed, knowing he had to get up fairly early for work. He was pulling on some sweatpants when his phone pinged and lit up on the bedside table to his left. Y/N leaned over and picked up the device, seeing a text from his boyfriend, Shinwon: 

‘hey baby, im coming over, so unlock ur door’

Y/N rolled his eyes, but walked to the front door and turned the top and bottom knobs, the soft clicks indicating that it was unlocked. He took a few short strides to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out a cold water bottle. He cracked open the bottle and took a sip, his eyes turning to the side as he heard his front door opening and closing. Shinwon flashed Y/N a smile as he stepped into the small, but cozy space. Y/N took a moment to admire his painfully average boyfriend of just two years and some months. 

Shinwon Kang, a man that just radiates average energy. He was average height, average weight, just…average all round. If you asked Y/N if he’s ever lost Shinwon in a crowd, Y/N would just let out a huff of air that could be disguised as a guilty laugh. Y/N liked Shinwon, he really did, but he can’t imagine seeing himself with Shinwon in the long run. He's tried, and it always ends the same. The two of them have different outlooks on what they want in the future, and they’ve often argued about it. 

Well, that next morning was no different. The two were laying in Y/N’s massive bed (that he really didn’t need, but it’s his apartment thank you very much), their limbs tangled together as their bare chests lightly grazed each other while they both came to. Y/N’s loud ass alarm had scared the life out of Shinwon, it always had. Y/N was the heaviest sleeper Shinwon had the pleasure of knowing. Y/N’s eyes began to close, but Shinwon lightly shook the male, his eyes shooting open and looking around frantically. Shinwon let out a breathy laugh and looked at the h/c haired male in his arms. 

“You know, I don't see why we can’t move in together, we’ve been together for a while now.” Shinwon says, his words immediately waking up Y/N, who untangles himself from the taller male. 

“Not this bullshit again,” Y/N muttered, standing up from the bed and checking his phone. He doesn’t know why Shinwon's statement makes him so moody, but it just does. 

“Come on, babe, i’m not that bad,” Shinwon said, a playful pout gracing his features. He never understood his boyfriend’s hostility towards taking that next step. 

“It’s not that you’re bad, I just don’t want us to move too fast,” Y/N said, not looking at the man behind him, not wanting to see the look on his face. 

Of course Y/N felt bad for shooting down Shinwon's idea, but he absolutely dreaded sharing his personal space with another human. He hated doing it when he was in college, his roommate constantly invading his space and taking his things without asking. He was only willing to share his space with his cat, Domino (who isn’t fond of Shinwon, which is a red flag, honestly). 

“We’ve been together for almost three years, I don't think we can move any slower.” Shinwon mutters, a sigh leaving his plump lips, his playful pout no longer showing on his face. 

“I’m not having this conversation with you, Shin, I have to get ready for work.” Y/N shuts him down as soon as he gets the chance, standing up from his seated position and stretching his limbs. 

“Then let’s just break up,” Shinwon says quietly, not really sure why he said that but his voice is loud in Y/N’s ears. The words replayed in his mind. “since you obviously don’t want to take our relationship further.”

Did he really want this? The thought of breaking up with Shinwon had crossed his mind at least a few times before, but he would just shake his head and try to think about something else. Y/N is a non confrontational person, he doesn’t like being the one to start a conversation, much rather being the one to observe rather than engage. Y/N is known to have quite the temper, though. His face always contorted in a slight scowl, his brows constantly furrowed. It is often said that Y/N would “be more handsome if he smiled once every while.” 

At this point, Y/N’s mouth began to move on its own, his mind not quite catching up to what his big mouth was spitting out. 

“Fine, I guess that’s that, then.” he said, his voice taking on a cold tone, as he digs in his closet, finding his favorite striped button up, a gift from his mother that he cherishes dearly. She always knew what he liked.

“You’re not even going to try and fight for us?” Shinwon sat up, his voice going up in pitch, his peanut brown eyes going a little wide. 

“What’s there to fight for?” Y/N said as he slipped on a pair of tight, black slacks. “we’ve had this conversation how many times now? and you still don’t get that I don’t want to move in with you?” 

“I can’t believe you, Y/N! I really thought we had something special here!” Shinwon said, getting up from the bed, and throwing on his clothes that he tossed on the floor once the two got ready to settle down for the night. 

“Can I be honest?” Y/N said, finally turning to meet Shinwon’s eyes. Y/N ran a hand through his messy hair, his face unreadable. Shinwon looks at y/n, motioning for him to go on, to add more salt into this wound. 

“I never really saw myself being with you, long term.” Y/N said, finally letting his feelings out, feelings he held back for months now. He felt a weight being lifted off his chest and shoulders. What shocked him the most was that seeing Shinwon’s hurt expression didn’t make him feel bad. Y/N wouldn’t consider himself a sensitive person, but he also wouldn’t consider himself to be a total asshole, either. He just had a serious case of Resting Bitch Face. 

“You’re a total dick, Y/N, I hope you know that.” Shinwon spat out, his teeth gritted as he glared at Y/N, his narrow eyes full of sadness and anger. The taller male grabbed his phone and stomped around the apartment before slamming the door, leaving Y/N in painful silence. The male just decided to push his feelings deep down where no one could get to them, and decided to feed his cat.

The ride to work is quiet for Y/N. He doesn’t bother turning on the radio, deciding to let his mind run for a bit. He wonders if he made the right decision, maybe he was a bit too harsh with Shinwon? He shakes his head, sighing as he parks his car. He'll ask Seungmin once he gets inside. Actually, asking the younger male was a horrible idea. Maybe he’ll ask Felix instead. The freckled boy could do no wrong in Y/N’s eyes. 

As soon as Y/N walks into the large building with way too many windows to be considered normal, his department's boss is flagging him down with a wave. Y/N sets his bag down by his desk and walks over, bowing slightly, and the chubby man begins to talk. 

“Good news, Choi, you’re moving departments temporarily.” the older man says, clapping a rough hand on Y/N’s back, making the smaller male cringe. Once Y/N recovers from that mildly painful smack, his eyes go wide in disbelief. 

“Hold on, what do you mean ‘moving departments temporarily’?” Y/N asks, his jaw going slack as his mouth hangs open. How in the world was he supposed to gossip with his three gremlins, plus Felix, if he’s not in the same department with them? 

“It means exactly how it sounds. you’ll be switching to the producing department and you’ll be working with Mr. Bahng from the production department on a project that requires your expertise.” the older man says, a bright smile on his wrinkled face, as if his words were supposed to make the shorter male feel better. 

It’s a well known fact that the production team and the graphic design team often butt heads when it comes down to projects. The production team is full of cocky bastards who think they’re better because they get to actually produce music rather than create the art that becomes the face of the album, track and various merch items. The graphic design team is full of petty people with pretty faces who think they’re better because they create the visual art behind the music. Y/N couldn’t give two shits. He just wants to get paid doing something he actually likes.

It couldn’t be all that bad, right? Y/N has only heard good things about Chris, and the two have had a few interactions at office parties during the holidays, and various birthdays at expensive bars. Chris is, to put it lightly, drop-dead gorgeous. He looks like he was molded by the angels above. They definitely took their time with him, making him the most godly man to walk this miserable earth. Y/N heard stories of Chris helping newbies feel safe at the company, making them feel like they had a place of belonging. Y/N didn’t get that treatment when he started, he got stuck with a rude ass puppy, an innocently sneaky fox, a little chicken with freckles, and a dramatic ferret with long hair. 

“Uh, okay, cool,” Y/N said, not really sure how to respond to this sudden news. It was only for a short period of time, right? He could easily survive that, no doubt. He's got this, his four children will be fine, he’ll put Felix in charge. 

Yeah, this is not going to work. He can’t do it. Chris is too much for his soul. Chris is too sweet for his own good. 

Once Y/N made his way to the production department building, he was greeted by a smiling face with the deepest dimples and a mop of thick, curly blonde hair. Since when did Chris have blonde hair? It must have been a while since the two have interacted, because Y/N remembers Chris having curly, deep, chocolate brown locks. He would never admit it out loud, but the things Y/N would do just to run his hands through the dark locks, tugging lightly as Chris bites his–

“Hello? Anyone home?” a chuckle snaps Y/N out of his trance, his eyes wide and staring directly at Chris. Chris doesn’t seem phased by Y/N’s intense stare, a bright but nervous smile on his chiseled face. 

“Sorry, I just spaced out for a second,” Y/N finally replies, a light warmth filling his cheeks and ears, a tad bit embarrassed by his own thoughts. He knows he shouldn’t be having these thoughts, he just broke up with his long-term boyfriend less than two hours ago. A part of him is glad mind readers don’t exist, because he would have to dig a hole and crawl inside if Chris heard what he was thinking about. 

“No worries, mate, it happens to the best of us,” Chris replies, flashing his million-dollar smile at the shorter male once again. The sight alone blinding Y/N and filling his stomach with obnoxious fluttering. (if only seungmin were here to capture this glorious moment.) 

“So, do you know why I requested your help specifically?” Chris asks, the question once again stopping Y/N in his tracks. Chris requested his help? Why would he request Y/N’s help when Hyunjin was one, if not the best, of the graphic design team? The man pretty much lived and breathed art. 

Of course, Y/N loved art as much as any other artist, I mean, he went to college for it, for crying out loud. Again, why did Chris ask for him?

“I, uh, actually had no idea you requested me specifically,” Y/N finally speaks after a moment of silent contemplation, his own e/c eyes looking up to meet deep brown ones. 

“I admire the work you did for the most recent album that was put out. The colors really went together to tell a story, and I could use something like that for the project I'm working on now," Chris says, his hand finding its way to Y/N’s shoulder, touching gently, almost feather-like. The gesture is strictly friendly, but Y/N can’t help the way his skin burns under Chris’ touch.

“Oh,” Y/N says, truly at a loss for words. “that actually means a lot, thank you, Mr. Bahng.” Y/N can feel his cheeks heat up, not used to receiving praise quite like this. It feels nice coming from Chris.

“Just Chris is fine, I don't particularly care for formalities,” Chris says, his hand removing itself from Y/N’s shoulder, and Y/N feels like he can finally breathe again. First name basis, huh? Y/N can’t help but wonder how such a cocky department has such a sweet leader such as Chris. 

“Besides, we’re friends, right?” Chris adds on, and if Y/N had a drink, he would have spat it all over the place. 

Were they friends? It feels like a gray area, honestly. Y/N and Chris have spoken a total of two times, and their conversations were just shy of casual coworker talk. So where is he getting the term “friends” from? Y/N thinks back to his friends in the graphic design department. What would they do in this situation? 

The better question is, what would Felix do in this situation? Felix, ever so level headed, Y/N’s precious chicken little (it’s best not to dwell on what the other three demons would do because it would end in chaos no matter what, especially Seungmin). 

“Yeah, sure, we’re friends,” Y/N replies, hoping his voice doesn’t crack and expose the nerves he’s feeling deep in his gut. Being friends with Chris was never something Y/N ever considered happening during his 4 years of working at JYPE offices. Chris was known for sticking to his close knit group of friends, only one of them being familiar with Y/N.

Lee Minho, the most cat-obsessed human being known to man. Minho is known to text Y/N asking for pictures of Domino, and often sending pictures of his own cats in return. Minho saw a photo of Domino sitting on Y/N’s desk, and the male gasped, grabbing the picture without thinking. He gushed and cooed at the picture, immediately asking for the cat’s name. Y/N, in a slight state of shock, told the male his pet’s name. 

“Give me your number right now, I have to see more pictures of this precious baby!” Minho had said, and Y/N complied, honestly finding the entire interaction quite amusing. Now, the two often exchange pictures of their felines, and tend to engage in regular conversation. 

The moment Y/N stepped into the production team’s department, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him. Some envious, some condescending, and some surprised. It wasn't often that people from the separate teams crossed into each other’s side of the building. Y/N can’t help but duck his head down at the looks he’s receiving, following close behind Chris, and walking into the male’s personal office. Once the males walk into the office, they’re met with a loud, gravelly screech, and an equally loud scream that is higher in pitch. Once Chris finds out that it’s just his friends, Jisung and Changbin, he stands there, his arms crossed, his biceps flexing and causing his already tight shirt to cling to his unblemished skin. His expression is amused, his left eyebrow cocked upwards as he shifts his body weight to one side, watching as Jisung and Changbin pretend that they weren’t just digging into the food Chris ordered specifically for himself and Y/N. 

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Chris finally speaks, his expression remaining the same, except a slight smirk has found its way onto the blonde’s face. Y/N watches from beside Chris, attempting to be subtle with his staring. 

Something about the way Chris looks right now is making Y/N’s body heat up. The expression on his face, the way he’s standing, the way his arms bulge against his black button up. Y/N can’t help but imagine those very arms caging him in and making him feel small, as Chris snaps his hips at a brutal pace, hitting all the right places inside Y/N. 

“It’s totally not what you think! it was Changbin’s idea!” Jisung wails, pointing an accusatory finger at the shorter male next to him. Changbin lets out an offended gasp, lunging at Jisung, his hands attempting to wrap themselves around the younger man’s neck before Jisung can get away. 

Y/N lets out a soft laugh, covering his mouth with his hand, not wanting to draw any attention to himself. The entire interaction is quite amusing, you can tell these three grown men are nothing short of siblings that love to torture each other endlessly.

Chris stops looking at the two idiots trying to kill each other and turns his attention to the h/c haired male at his side, the soft laugh immediately imbedding itself in his brain, and traveling to his gut, a fluttering feeling taking over his body. Hearing the soft noise that came out of Y/N was one Chris will refuse to forget. Chris allows a soft look to take over his features, hoping he doesn’t get caught with hearts in his eyes. He just likes Y/N so much. The blonde is always looking forward to the various outings the company has, hoping to catch Y/N there. Every time there was an outing, Chris was often stopped by other people, conversations he wasn’t interested in distracting him from finding that one person he so desperately wanted to talk to. At the office Christmas party, he was lucky enough to catch Y/N alone, attempting to start up a conversation with said male. Chris, being ever so shy, struggled to keep the conversation going, nervously sipping his eggnog, while Y/N’s eyes often avoided looking at Chris (it was painfully awkward, Seungmin laughs every time he remembers the interaction, Felix has to tell him to stop teasing Y/N). 

Chris has made it his mission to get close to Y/N, not wanting any more awkward interactions with him, which is why he requested Y/N’s help for this project. Chris knows he doesn’t really need Y/N’s help, but it was Minho’s genius idea to get Y/N closer to him. 

“Hyung, if you keep staring at Y/N-hyung, your eyes will get stuck like that!” Jisung says, snapping Chris out of his lovesick  puppy trance. Chris’ eyes go wide before he snaps his head towards Jisung. Jisung visibly pales before he’s booking it out of the office. Changbin throws his head back slightly, letting out a cackle that would put a hyena to shame. 

Y/N’s own e/c eyes go wide at what Jisung said, his face and ears getting warm. He hadn’t even noticed Chris staring, too busy laughing at Changbin and Jisung. Was Chris really staring at him, or was Jisung just trying to cause a distraction so he could make a clean getaway? A large part of Y/N wishes Chris was staring. 

“You should’ve seen your face, hyung! Damn, that was priceless!” Changbin keeps cackling as he walks out of the office, his hands carrying the food he was attempting to steal before he got caught. 

Chris brings his hands to his temples, massaging them with his fingers. He lets an annoyed sigh fall past his lips. Those two are going to give him gray hair one day. Chris turns towards Y/N with a shy smile. 

“I’m so sorry about them, they’re both massive pains in my ass.” Chris says, his hand rubbing the nape of his neck, a chuckle bubbling from his chest. Y/N waves a dismissive hand at Chris, a small smile on his face. 

“It’s no worries, I know your pain,” Y/N says, looking up at Chris with a slight tilt of his head. “I have three pains in my ass, they’re constantly fucking with me.” Y/n rolls his eyes, with a shake of his head, his fringe falling in front of his eyes slightly. 

Chris’ body reacts on instinct, his hand coming up and brushing the hair out of Y/N’s face, a soft, loving expression on his face. Y/N freezes, his eyes widening for the nth time that day. The look on Chris’ face is one he’s never seen before. a look of admiration and want. There’s lust swimming around in those deep brown eyes, Y/N can’t deny it. Chris’ eyes glance down at Y/N’s lips, then back up at his eyes. Chris chews on his bottom lip, as if he’s thinking about something. Finally, he speaks up and those words alone nearly bring Y/N to his knees. 

“Can I kiss you?” Chris whispers, his minty breath fanning Y/N’s face, and Y/N gulps, nodding just a bit, not really trusting his voice. 

“No, I need to hear you say yes or no,” Chris says louder this time, his voice taking on a commanding tone. Hearing Chris speak like that makes Y/N’s legs weak, his mind clouded with thoughts of Chris and Chris only.

“Yes, please kiss me, Chris,” Y/N finally replies, his voice coming out as a desperate whisper. He feels a warm hand on his cheek, the hand lifting his head up slightly. Not too long after, Chris’ lips are on his own. Y/N’s eyes flutter shut as he leans his body closer to Chris, their lips molding together. 

Kissing Chris is everything Y/N has ever dreamed of and more. Chris takes charge of the kiss, his plum lips moving against Y/N’s, ever so gentle. Kissing Chris feels natural, like Y/N was made to do this. The kiss becomes more firm, and both of their mouths open, their tongues wrapping around the other, becoming messy quite fast. Chris wraps his free arm around Y/N’s waist, pushing the smaller male backwards until Y/N’s back hits the edge of Chris’ desk. Y/N doesn’t hesitate to hop up a bit, now sitting on the desk as the two males finally pull away to breathe. 

Chris walks around the desk, standing in front of his black chair. Y/N watches his every move, his breath hitching when he sees Chris beckon him with just two fingers, making a “come here” motion. Y/N complies, hopping off the desk before making his way to the taller male, standing in front of him. Chris’ arms find themselves wrapped around Y/N, tugging the smaller male flush against his muscular body. Chris is drunk off the feeling of Y/N’s body against him. He craves more, he wants to see and feel the smaller male's skin against his own, his hands are itching to touch and grab. 

The pair resumes their makeout session, their hands touching all over each other, pulling at too-tight clothes, but neither of them making the effort to remove their clothes. Chris pulls away from Y/N for a second, before his lips make their way to his neck, latching onto a spot just below the right side of Y/N’s jaw. Chris peppers light kisses around the area, the sound of Y/N’s soft hums hammering in his ears. Chris plants his body in his chair, pulling Y/N down with him, the h/c haired male plopping down on Chris’ thick thighs. Y/N automatically wraps his arms around Chris’ neck. his fingers find comfort in playing with the blonde locks at his nape. Chris goes back to kissing and licking Y/N’s neck, deciding that a red mark would look beautiful against Y/N’s soft skin. He has to stop himself from actually leaving a mark, remembering that they’re at work and if anyone saw the mark on Y/N, the entire building would gossip about it for the next year. 

As Chris moves lower, his lips trailing from Y/N’s neck to the upper part of his collarbones, a knock stops him in his tracks. In a moment of sheer panic, Chris pushes Y/N off of him and motions for him to get under the desk. Y/N obeys, his own heart pumping heavily in his chest. He was in a state of lust, the only thing on his mind being Chris and the kisses he was leaving on his neck. 

“Come in!” Chris calls out once Y/N is hidden completely under the desk, his eyes falling on someone from his department. He tries to keep his annoyance hidden as the person asks questions they totally could have asked someone else. 

Y/N rolls his eyes, then his orbs land on the sight in front of him. Chris, legs spread, his beige slacks a little tight in the crotch area. With very little contemplation, Y/n raises up just a bit, getting closer to Chris’ lower body. With slow movements, he reaches up and tries to unzip Chris’ pants as quietly as possible. He's successful when Chris lets out a loud, albeit very fake, cough. Popping the button of Chris’ pants open, he pulls the black boxers down to sit under Chris’ balls, keeping the fabric out of the way. 

Y/N can’t help but let his jaw drop. Chris has a really, really nice dick. It’s not crazy long, but still a good few inches, and fairly thick. Not very veiny, and the tip is a nice shade of nude pink. Y/N’s mouth nearly waters at the sight. Just like the rest of his body, Chris’ dick is nice to look at.

 Y/N hears the door close just as he wraps his lips around the tip of Chris’ dick, finally that loser is gone. Y/N begins to suck on just the tip, looking up through his lashes, making eye contact with Chris above him. the bigger male’s mouth is parted slightly, short breaths coming from him. Y/N raises his body up just a bit more, sinking lower on Chris’ dick, taking more of the length into his warm mouth. Chris lets out a soft groan, his head lolling back as he digs his nails into the armrests of his chair. It’s honestly too much for him, he feels like he could explode right now if Y/N keeps going. Chris is about to pull Y/N out from under the desk so they can get down to what they both want so desperately before someone barges into his office. Only three people are confident enough to do that. 

Minho lets himself into his friend's office, looking around for something. Minho's eyes fall on Chris, his eyebrow cocking upwards suspiciously. He decides not to question it right now, there will be time for that later.

“Have you seen Jisung? Last I saw him, he was in here with Bin,” Minho says, crossing his arms, looking at Chris, his expression not changing once.

“I, uh, no,” Chris coughs out, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “I mean, he was here with Bin, but neither of them are here now.” Chris tries again, sitting up straight, praying to every god out there that Minho doesn’t catch on to what’s happening under the desk. Y/N uses his hand to stroke Chris’ dick, his mouth occupied with the tip. His tongue swirling around the tip, his head bobbing slightly, his own spit sliding down his chin as he continues. His lips pouting as he slips the tip of his tongue against Chris’ slit. Chris tries his hardest not to bust in Y/N’s mouth, his leg bouncing to distract himself. 

“Huh, well, I guess I’ll go look somewhere else,” Minho says, and a devious glint flashes in his eyes, making Chris sweat more than he already is. “tell Y/N to drink some honey and tea once he’s done.” Minho winks and leaves the room before Chris can say anything to deny what Y/N’s doing. 

Y/N let out a surprised noise, pulling away from Chris’ hard length, his wide eyes locking with Chris’ own wide eyes. There isn’t a moment to feel embarrassed, so the two just laugh it off. 

“I wonder how he knew you were under there,” Chris says, this thumb swiping against Y/N’s chin to wipe the spit that is left there. His eyes not leaving Y/N’s, he puts his thumb into his mouth, tasting the liquid. Something in Y/N’s gut clenched as he watches Chris lick his saliva. He climbs out from under the desk, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it to the side to be forgotten. Chris’ eyes don’t leave Y/N’s movements for a second, his bottom lip getting caught between his perfect teeth. 

Y/N plants himself on Chris’ lap when his shirt is discarded, his arms making their way around Chris’ neck, tugging the older male to his chest. Chris brings his large hands to Y/N’s hips, his lips connecting with Y/N’s prominent collarbones. He bites at the skin there, licking over it to soothe the slight burn. Y/N lets out a soft hum, his hips grinding forward a bit, his own hard on coming in contact with Chris’. The two males groan at the sensation, the both of them loving the way it felt. 

“Oh, fuck,” Chris nearly gowls out, his voice gravelly from arousal. Y/N just laughs a little, swirling his hips in short circles, his clothed dick rubbing against Chris without fail. Chris decides that they’ve had enough of this half-assed foreplay, so his hands work on getting Y/N out of his slacks and boxers. 

Once the two of them are fully naked they make out sloppily, the two of them spitting into each other's mouth back and forth. Their mixed saliva drips onto Chris’ chest, slowly running down his broad chest all the way to his washboard abs. Y/N’s tongue comes out to lick his plump bottom lip, his eyes not leaving Chris’ once. Chris, finally deciding that he’s had enough teasing, pulls away and lifts Y/N up by his hips. Y/N holds his body up, using Chris’ broad shoulders as leverage. Chris uses his free hand to rub the soft skin of Y/N’s ass cheek. He then brings his hand up and slams it down on the skin, causing Y/N to let out a gasp, his body jerking forward at the impact. Chris lets out a mischievous laugh, before he rubs the skin that’s already turning a soft red. 

“Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself,” Chris says, chuckling at the adorable pout on Y/N’s soft face. Chris puckers his lips before placing a gentle peck on the smaller male’s pouty lips. 

Chris decides that it’s time to get to the main event. He taps two fingers against Y/N’s mouth, urging him to part his lips. Y/N obeys Chris’ silent command, parting his lips, allowing Chris to place the two digits on top of Y/N’s tongue. 

“Now suck like the pretty boy you are.” Chris says, his voice low and husky, as he watches Y/N’s lips close around his fingers. Chris feels the wet muscle wiggle its way in between his fingers, the soft pressure of Y/N sucking being the only thing on his mind. Y/N lets out a hum that turns into a needy whine as his hips grind in small circles, his dick rubbing against Chris’ skin just above his abs. Chris chuckles once again as he watches Y/N desperately grind against his upper stomach, trying to get some friction while his mouth is occupied with Chris’ fingers. 

“Are you not getting enough pleasure from humping against my stomach, pretty boy?” Chris asks, his tone mocking and a little mean. Hearing Chris speak in such a tone turns Y/N’s brain into mush. All Y/N can muster up is a whine, still continuing to suck on Chris’ fingers until the digits leave his mouth. Y/N wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, waiting for Chris’ next move. 

“You’re getting impatient, aren’t you, pretty boy?” Chris teases, his wet fingers inching their way to Y/N’s hole. Chris circles his middle finger around the rim a few times before he’s pushing the digit in. He gets the finger all the way in and not long after, his index finger joins in on the fun, Y/N’s breath hitching at the feeling. 

He is getting impatient. He feels like they’ve been touching and kissing for too long, he just wants Chris inside him like right now. 

“Chris, stop teasing and fuck me already..” Y/N says with a desperate tone as Chris uses his two fingers to stretch the smaller male. Chris just snickers, his eyebrow cocking up, his lips turning up in a smirk, and Y/N thinks he could come just from the sight alone. 

“Yeah, you want me to fuck you, pretty boy?” Chris asks, pulling his fingers out, grabbing his hard length and lining it up with Y/N’s hole. He pops the tip inside, his hands moving to grip Y/N’s hips. “then you better get to work, yeah?” 

Y/N wastes absolutely no time, Chris’ words ringing loud like bells in his ears. The younger male sinks his hips down, Chris’ dick stretching him so nicely, his jaw dropping at the pain that feels too good. Y/N sits there for a moment, just getting used to having Chris inside him all the way. This is something right out of his wettest dreams, riding Chris until the two of them are shouting each other’s names, licking and biting tongues and lips. Y/N finally raises up, only the tip remaining inside him, and he slams back down, finding a pace that works for the both of them. 

As Y/N bounces on Chris, the sweet sounds of skin coming in contact is loud in the medium sized office room. The two of them are too blissed out to even think about being quiet, but they decide to just kiss to keep themselves quiet enough. 

Chris suddenly pulls away, and he starts to stand, his arms wrapping around Y/N, the two of them not disconnecting as Chris lifts the smaller male up. Y/N wraps his slender legs around Chris’ waist, the sudden movements catching him off guard. He doesn’t have time to question Chris before he feels Chris absolutely slamming his dick into him. Y/N hides his face in Chris’ neck, biting down on the male’s shoulder to keep from literally screaming. The tip of Chris’ dick hits the special spot inside him, causing him to see stars. As Chris moves his body, Y/N brings his hand down to wrap around his own length, jerking himself off in time with Chris’ thrusting. 

It’s not much longer before Y/N feels Chris’ hips start to stutter, and his thrusts get a little sloppy. Y/N knows he’s about to cum, the way Chris’ face scrunches up a little and his jaw goes slack. Y/N is also getting close, his stomach tightening up as his hand moves up and down at a fast pace. 

“Oh, god, pretty boy,” Chris groans, his blonde curls sticking to his sweaty forehead, his muscles flexing as he grips onto Y/N soft thighs. There will definitely be hand marks left on the skin when they’re all done. “can I cum inside you, please?” Chris nearly begs, his voice going up in pitch as he whines. 

“Yes, please fill me up, Chris,” Y/N replies, throwing head back, exposing his sweaty neck. Chris picks up the pace once again before he slams all the way in, spilling deep into Y/N. Y/N finishes not too long after, white painting across Chris’ chest and abs. Y/N pouts a little, his wrist hurting from jerking it for so long.

The two sweaty males stay as they are for a moment, finally coming to terms with what they just did. Y/N chews at his bottom lip as he comes down from his high. Was this just a one time thing? Were they going to do it again? What does this mean for them as friends? Y/N’s head is swimming with questions and concerns, and he tucks his head into Chris’ neck, breathing in the man’s natural scent mixed with his cologne. 

“Hey, don’t go falling asleep on me, pretty boy, we have to clean up.” Chris says, his hand rubbing slow circles on Y/N’s back, the gesture lulling the smaller man to sleep. Chris just chuckles before he reaches for a bag of wet wipes in the drawer of his desk. He finally pulls out, placing the sleepy man on his chair. He takes out a wet wipe and wipes off his chest and abs.

After they clean up and get dressed, Chris clears his throat and turns towards Y/N. He looks nervous, like he wants to say something, but his mouth just won’t move. Y/N tilts his head to the side, a curious look playing on his features. 

“You look like you want to say something,” Y/N points out, hoping that will help the blonde gather his thoughts. Chris simply nods before speaking:

“Do you want to come over for dinner? As in, a date?”

[jayparked]

𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉; 𝒿𝒶𝓎𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓀𝑒𝒹

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ basics ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

╰┈➤ name: snail ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ╰┈➤ age: 21 ; ‘03 ; libra ╰┈➤ mbti: infj ╰┈➤ pronouns: she/her ╰┈➤ hobbies: pc collecting, video games, writing, anime, dancing, learning japanese/korean/spanish, yearning ╰┈➤ other socials: tiktok ; twitter ; ao3 ╰┈➤ previous url: jaykespo ╰┈➤ resident nugu bg enthusiast ╰┈➤ despite my yapper persona i'm actually really shy ;--; but i love making friends and talking so feel free to dm me anytime!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ disclaimersˏˋ°•*⁀➷

╰┈➤ i work a lot so it may take me a while to post written work. pls be patient with me! messages/asks/comments about wips or my work motivates me a lot and helps me write more! ╰┈➤ minors dni. i will block. i don’t just read/write smut so if i interact with your work and you're a minor i apologize. the only reason this would happen is if you don’t have your age easily accessible on your blog. feel free to let me know so i can remove the work from my blog and block ╰┈➤ i view smut writing as a form of creative expression and use idols as character holders. the people i write about are characters and nothing more

╰┈➤ i have dyslexia and aphantasia so there may be errors in my fics. i try really hard to catch them before posting, but it's still a strong possibility that some things can slip through the cracks. so please be kind! ╰┈➤ im a multi stan and have zero tolerance for any anti's or hatred towards other groups ╰┈➤ if i liked your post that means i'm going to read later or add to queue after i dump my thoughts in the tags. i don't like reblogging things without putting some feedback / thoughts ╰┈➤ i make statements like 'love of my life', 'my man', 'he's so sexy' etc. if this makes you uncomfortable please block me ╰┈➤ this is a safe space for me to let out my brainrotting thoughts. at the end of the day i know that these are real people and know that they are not objects. idols dont owe me anything i just think it's fun to delve into the delulu world for a lil bit ╰┈➤ zero tolerance for anyone that is: homophobic, racist, whitewashes, thinks idols owe them anything, is actually delulu or koreaboo, puts down smut writers or fic writers in general, anyone who isnt pro palestine, fetishizers, people who overly baby idols, people who write smut for idols 18 and under ╰┈➤ i might possibly write for other groups in the future, but for now i only write for enhypen. if i do decide to write for other groups i will not be making any sideblogs so all my work can be found in one place ╰┈➤ i generally do not like taking requests but sometimes will open them up for fake texts / headcannons / drabbles. but requests will most likely not open up often. please don't send me requests if they are closed ╰┈➤ i will not write: smut for teenage idols ; idol or highschool aus ╰┈➤ DNI if you read/write/interact with nsfw riki content. this is MY boundary for MY blog and is not up for discussion

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ biases / groups ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

(ot_ = no particular bias in the group. highlighted = ult group / ult member)

╰┈➤ enhypen: jay / riki ╰┈➤ epex: wish ╰┈➤ &team: k / nicholas ╰┈➤ dkb: changmin ╰┈➤ txt: yeonjun / kai ╰┈➤ astro: jinwoo ╰┈➤ (g)i-dle: soyeon ╰┈➤ nct: mark ╰┈➤ boynextdoor: taesan / sungho ╰┈➤ tws: dohoon / jihoon ╰┈➤ riize: wonbin / anton ╰┈➤ pentagon: shinwon / wooseok ╰┈➤ stray kids: seungmin / changbin ╰┈➤ seventeen: dk / minghao / woozi / vernon ╰┈➤ ateez: wooyoung / yunho ╰┈➤ zerobaseone: gyuvin / jiwoong ╰┈➤ gfriend/viviz: umji ╰┈➤ itzy: chaeryeong / ryujin ╰┈➤ all (h)ours: kunho / xayden / masami ╰┈➤ twice: jeongyeon ╰┈➤ the boyz: younghoon / eric ╰┈➤ kiss of life: haneul ╰┈➤ ikon: ot7 ╰┈➤ monsta x: ot7 ╰┈➤ omega x: ot11 ╰┈➤ whib: ot8 ╰┈➤ younite: ot8 ╰┈➤ cix: ot5 ╰┈➤ sf9: ot8 ╰┈➤ ive: ot6

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tagsˏˋ°•*⁀➷

╰┈➤ my heavenly: heeseung ╰┈➤ my heart: jay ╰┈➤ my muse: jake ╰┈➤ my thought: sunghoon ╰┈➤ my comfort: sunoo ╰┈➤ my peace: jungwon ╰┈➤ my star: riki ╰┈➤ my happiness: ot7 ╰┈➤ my wolf: k ╰┈➤ my blob: nicholas ╰┈➤ my wonder: taesan ╰┈➤ my moon: e-chan ╰┈➤ my wish: wish ╰┈➤ my chaos: yeonjun ╰┈➤ my sweet: kai ╰┈➤ my brogyu: beomgyu ╰┈➤ my light: jinwoo ╰┈➤ my dewdrop: mark

╰┈➤ smoots: snail + moots ╰┈➤ snail talk: random thoughts/rambling ╰┈➤ snail mail: asks ╰┈➤ queuerdx: queue ╰┈➤ my soulmate: lia @sungbeams

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ kpop concert list ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

╰┈➤ bts 09.06.2018 ╰┈➤ ateez + hightouch 03.15.2019 ╰┈➤ pentagon + hightouch 07.10.2019 ╰┈➤ tiffany young 10.28.2019 ╰┈➤ eric nam 03.07.2020 ╰┈➤ bts  10.10.2020 ╰┈➤ epik high 04.06.2023 ╰┈➤ enhypen 04.28.2024

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Dishwasher

Summary: While it isn’t the first time you’ve made dinner for all of your boyfriend’s members. It’s the first Christmas dinner Changgu and you have made for them in your new house.

Oneshot

Fluff, Established Relationship au

Word Count: 4,289

Changgu (Yeo One) X Reader

[Features! The rest of OT9]

Requested: not to be that person who requests twice (pls feel free to prioritize other requests!!) but maybe 6. for Changgu? 👀 You know, in celebration of someone becoming someone's ult 👀

Prompt: 6. Cooking Christmas dinner together for your friends

[A.n: Pls don’t worry about requesting 2x- I love double/multiple requests~ And also I just do the request in the order I get them unless I have to skip to not have the same member in a row. I’d say I don’t know how this fic got to 4k but uh see above point ^ (I named it dishwasher and hopefully you’ll understand the significance)]

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It was finally your turn to make Christmas dinner for your big friend group, “You sure this is going to feed eight other people?” He nods, “Yeah, I’m sure. If not, there is always the restaurant down the road.” “Ggu!” He laughs, “I’m just teasing, I promise. We got this!” You shake your head, “I know. I guess I’m just a little worried.” He grabs your hand, “It’s going to be okay. I promise. We make a great team. Our food will be even better.” You search his eyes, and he squeezes your hand, and all you find is reassurance. You interlock your fingers, “Okay.” He nods and pulls your hand to push the cart with his to the checkout lanes. You finish up and shove the groceries in his car. You return the cart and see him waiting for you to get in. He opens the door from the inside, the heat pouring out from the vents, and you hop in. 

“We’ll let the ham defrost overnight in cold water, and then we’ll be all set.” He agrees as you both put the groceries away. He finds the pre-packaged cookies and goes, “Want one?” You ask, “Shouldn’t we wait for our guests?” He shrugs as you come over, waiting for him to open the box. “Maybe.” You both grab one and eat it, “Yeah, this is way easier than making them.” You both resist eating another to save them for tomorrow's guests. You set them on a platter and the cake you bought onto a cake stand.

------

You wake up to Changgu ruffling the covers to get out of bed. You look at him with half-opened eyes, “Is it time?” You watch him shake his head no. He comes over, kisses your forehead, and tells you, “I was just going to make us some coffee before we started cooking.” You hum, opening your eyes, “Let’s do that together.” He smiles as he waits for you to roll out of bed. You slip on your slippers, and with a yawn, you follow him into the kitchen. He fills a kettle with water before putting it on the burner and turning it on. You grab your mugs and set them on the counter, and he finishes making the coffee. You lean against the counter, still trying to wake up as you sip your first bit of coffee, “Warm…” He hums before he takes a sip of his and shares the same sentiment. 

You start, “So, the ham.” You both look over at it, hoping it’d grow legs dress itself for the occasion and throw itself into the oven. He laughs before you both sigh, “Shinwon was not kidding when he said, ‘Good luck next year’. After they both made that dinner…” You shake your head and agree, “This is going to be a lot of work…” After setting your coffee down on the counter, you look for a piece of paper and a pen. “How do we want to go about this?” “Well, we cleaned the roasting pan two days ago, so all we have to do is line it with foil.” You write: ‘Foil the pan, make sure the ham is defrosted. Bag the ham, and then dress it with pineapples and cherries.’ You ask, “Did we get 7up?” He nods, “Yeah, I put it in the cart last minute. We almost forgot it.” You sigh in relief as you write the 7up part and add brown sugar to the list of things going on with the ham. 

You list the things you bought, and he goes, “Peel and chop the potatoes?” you write that down, “Are we making sweet potatoes?” He nods, and you take another sip of coffee before writing that. “Corn, green beans?” Changgu softly reminds you about the ‘peas’. And you finish that bit, “Oh, bread, which kind?” He goes, “Biscuits and croissants?” “Perfect.” “Am I missing anything else?” You both think for a minute before you go, “Oh, cranberry sauce, the most important part!” He laughs, “For you, dear.” You roll your eyes, “You love it just as much as me.” He shakes his head, “No, not as much as I love you.” You roll your eyes, “I love you more than I love cranberry sauce.” He gasps, “I’m honored.” You shake your head as you smile at him.

You finish your coffee while looking out at the snow. Watching it gently coming down. “I’m glad this time it’s not a snowstorm.” He laughs, “It was a nightmare getting to Hongseok’s house that year!” You laugh even harder, “We don’t even live more than a street away from him!” You two cackle before catching your breath. He adds, “At least we have snow this year, though!” You shake your head, “We even have photos of Hoetaek pouting about it!” You both giggle before catching your breath. You put your two mugs in your new dishwasher. You grin, “I can’t wait for this thing to have its first big holiday.” He smiles in excitement, “It’s going to do the work of ten men!” You both laugh before washing your hands away from the ham and start working on preparing it. 

Thankfully, it thawed, and everything went swimmingly even putting the brown sugar and 7up on it was easy. You open the pineapples as Changgu digs for the toothpicks, “Didn’t we buy a pack?” “Yeah, I think they’re up in the cabinet by the other knife set we don’t use.” He hums and says a little ‘aha!’ when he finds them there. You separate the pineapples from the ones you’re using for the ham and the two for the two of you. After you finish sticking the pineapples in with toothpicks, he sticks the cherries in the center. When he pins the last one, and you both have washed your hands and put the ham into the oven, “One pineapple for you, one for me?” 

He pulls out a maraschino cherry for both of you to eat, and you happily eat the unused toppings before cleaning your hands again. You sigh, “Those were so good.” He agrees, hands you a towel to dry your hands with, and says, “What’s next?” You look back at the list and go, “The potatoes.” He nods and gets them out, and you ask, “How many potatoes do you think Shinwon can eat alone?” He laughs, “Probably the whole bag.” You shrug, “Guess that’s how much we’re doing so everyone can have at least a bite.” He agrees, and you get out your peeler and the chopping board while he fills a bowl with water.

You shave them as he patiently waits to chop them up. He cuts the last potatoes up and puts them back in the bowl. You drain them and transfer half to a pot of water. As you do, he says, “I’ll start shaving the sweet potatoes.” You agree and put the soup mix into the cleaned bowl before pouring the other half of the potatoes in and combining them. You flip them onto a foiled pan and wash off your hands. You come back over to see him sharpening a knife, “Having a hard time with the sweet potatoes?” He nods, and you smile, “It’s more about the pressure and force than the sharpness.” He hums, “But it’d help.” He cleans it off before he returns with more vigor to chop them into small pieces. 

He lets out a yell as he smacks it, and you giggle as you watch him, “You want me to do it?” He pouts, “But I have more muscle than you. This should be easy…” You smile as you tell him, “Watch this.” You scoot him away, and with the knife still lodged into the sweet potato, you lift it and slam it back onto the board. And it separates into two, “Didn’t you ever watch your mom make them?” He shakes his head, “No, she always makes the ones you just gotta poke and put in the oven with foil on them.” You nod, “Those are so good! Do you want to save two so we can have that tomorrow?” He grins, “Oh heck yeah!” He saves two and puts them in the pantry while you finish chopping up the first one. He gets the hang of it on the second one, “Isn’t there a less noisy way?” You shake your head, “Not that I’ve ever figured out.” He shrugs and continues while you make the brown sugar mix for them, “I’m excited for these.” He hums, “Me too.” 

You do the same with sweet potatoes, draining them before mixing them and putting them onto another foiled pan. You set them out and clean off your hands. As you dry off your hands, Changgu checks the oven, “Ohh, look!” You look, “Still there.” He shakes his head, “No, it’s starting to look more cooked.” You laugh, “I know.” You pull back, and he says, “And we still have three hours and twenty minutes to get it all done. I say that calls for a break.” You agree, and you both head into the living room and kick back on the couch together. “What kind of Christmas special do you wanna watch?” You hum, “What about a hallmark movie?” He wrinkles his nose and shakes his head, “Preferably something that doesn’t make me cry today.” You nod, “Okay, the Charlie Brown special before we head back and make the rest?” He agrees, and you put your legs over his lap while he puts his legs on the ottoman. He puts his arm around your back, and you watch the Peanuts. 

When the movie ends, you both get changed into your dinner clothes before heading into the kitchen. You look at the list when it hits you, “Oh, we almost forgot to add a butter stick tray for everyone!” He nods, quickly pulls out the butter, and puts it on the designated dish. “Done and done!” You grin and grab the canned corn, peas, and green beans. You open them up while he gets the pots out. You fill all three up as he works on making two foiled pans for biscuits and croissants. You both work on rolling up the crescent and making them nicely shaped before putting the other premade biscuits onto a pan to bake. “Do you want to open the cranberry sauce now or later?” He hums, “Probably later, so it stays cooler.” You agree and look over at the timer on the ham, “Two hours and fifteen minutes…” He sighs, “Looks like it’s making the table time.” 

You nod and stand on either side of your small kitchen table, “On the count of three, I’ll pull my end. You’ll pull yours.” You nod, and he counts, “Okay, and one, two, three!” You both pull out the table to make it longer to fit ten people. After pulling it out, you huff, “I’m glad our table expands twice.” He sighs, “Me too.” You pick up one side of the leaf while he picks up the other before setting it in and doing the same with the next. 

When it’s all clicked in and properly fitted, he goes, “Alright, tablecloth next?” You nod, and he gets it from the cabinet, “The pretty green one?” He nods and pulls the one that has mistletoe berries lining the edges. You both cover the table before getting the dishes out. You hand them over to him, and he sets them out while you grab the knives, “Do the knives go on the right side or the left?” He goes, “Wherever you want them.” You laugh as you put it on the left side before lining the left with other utensils. He asks, “Napkin towels and paper ones?” You agree, and he gets out two napkin holders and puts one on each side. You fill them with paper napkins while he gets the towels and puts them in front of the plates.

“If we don’t get the 1865 wine out, Hyunggu will be whiny.” You laugh, “I don’t think he’ll whine, but he will pout.” He laughs as he agrees, and you open a bottle for him, letting it aerate, “What do you say after thirty minutes,... We have our glass?” He smiles, “I’d like that.” You nod, and you get an assortment of glasses for each person. You finish up before looking over the table. You feel him come over beside you and wrap his arm around your waist, “Look at us. We’re doing a nice job so far.” You look at him and say, “Don’t jinx it.” He laughs, “Not intending to!” He knocks on the table regardless as you both lean against each other. “But you’re right, it looks nice.” 

You smile and wrap your arm around his waist, “Who do you think will arrive first?” He hums, “Probably Hoetaek and whoever he’s bringing, he got that whole integrity saying about five minutes early is on time.” You laugh as you agree, “And who’s last?” He hums, “It’s a tie, depending on who’s driving.” You wait for him to continue, and he says, “If Wooseok is driving, they’re going to be like ten minutes late, but if it’s anyone else, I’d say they’d be right about time.” “Why’s that?” “Wooseok is very careful.” 

You laugh, “I believe it. But you're the only one I trust to drive me around whenever I don't want to drive.” “Baby, you’re so cute.” You laugh, “I’m telling the truth. I get to be the relaxed passenger. And I don’t even have to be the GPS. Cause you know where you’re going.” He laughs, “Yeah, I like having you as my passenger. You make all of my worries go away. Not even someone who drives fifteen under can make me mad with you by my side.” “Are you sure? Following that tractor for like two miles about killed you.” He groans, “Don't Remind me.” And you move from your relaxed position, getting close to his lips, “Don’t worry, it irritated me too.” You pull him in for a kiss, and when you pull away, you ask, “Better?” He sighs, “Always.”

The ham comes out about an hour later, and you pop the beefy onion and sweet potatoes into the oven. And turn the flame under the potatoes on the stove on as the doorbell rings, “I got it, baby.” You nod, and he kisses your cheek before heading over. And as he had predicted, Hoetaek was five minutes early with Shinwon and Jinho. Jinho asks, “What’s cooking?” You smile, “Potatoes.” You hear a gasp, and Changgu says, “You’ll have to wait until it’s on the table.” You hear the pout in Shinwon’s voice as he says, “Okay…” The four of you laugh as he answers. Changgu comes over and joins you. You turn the burners underneath the canned veggie pots on while he cuts open the bag. Hoetaek asks, “Do you guys want any help? Or?” You look at Changgu and shake your head, “No, we got it here.” The doorbell rings, “However, if you could get that.” He smiles, “Sure.” 

You hear four more voices and shoes hitting the floor as you stir the potatoes around. You both turn and look as they come to the table and find their spots. Changgu asks, “Where’s Wooseok?” Yanan goes, “He was asleep last time I checked.” And before you can look at Changgu like, ‘Do we need to get him?’ the doorbell rings. You both sigh in relief as Yuto gets the door, “Sorry, I wanted five more minutes of rest!” Hoetaek chides, “You need to leave your studio sooner so you can be on time!” He whines, and you don’t hear the rest as the potatoes boil. And you mash them with butter and milk. 

You put them into a serving bowl as Changgu transfers the ham onto a platter before bringing it to the table. He brings everything to the table as you pour them into bowls and place serving spoons in each. The bell rings again, and you both pull out the pans of potatoes and place them onto platters before he sets them down in front of them. You open a can of cranberry sauce before bringing that over, too.

Changgu puts the bread into the oven before you both sit down. He sits in front of the ham, and you sit beside him as he looks at everyone. He cheers, “Alright, who’s ready to eat?” You all cheer back, “I am!” And he happily serves it to everyone, ensuring everyone has a big piece before serving his last. “Let’s dig in!” Before you can get up, he goes, “I got it, honey.” You smile, and he gets up, turns off the oven, and puts the freshly done bread into two separate baskets. He returns, “Croissants on which side?” Hyunggu and Hongseok cheer for them the loudest, and he places them down in front of them while your side gets the biscuits. 

With all the food out, the conversations only get louder, especially, with Changgu turning on the Bluetooth speakers to play soft Christmas music to set the mood. You gasp, “No way!” as Hyunggu talks about the Christmas play he saw, “Yeah, way! The lights started shining and out popped another new Santa Claus. This musical just kept getting more hysterical as they did it!” You all laugh at Hyunggu's stories, and Yanan talks about the Christmas lights he went and visited. Wooseok goes, “Do you guys remember when we performed in Daegu?” They all hum, and you nod, having seen their performances rather than being there, “It was so cold, but it was perfect like tonight.” You smile and thank him, and everyone agrees.

As everyone finishes their last plate, everyone talks about the plans they’ve made and gifts they’ve gotten for their families. And when there’s a lull of silence, you ask, “Who’s ready for dessert?” They all cheer, “I am!” And you happily get up, grabbing the platter of cookies, and Changgu comes in, getting the cake from the fridge. As you come back, Yuto asks, “What kind?” You smile, “We got a big assortment of cookies, including chocolate chip, plus chocolate cake!” You hear Changgu rustle in the fridge as he yells, “Oh, don’t forget the fruitcake!” And everyone lets out, “Really!?” And he turns around with the cake stand and goes, “Nah, just kidding.” You both laugh as you gesture for them to follow you, “Let’s have dessert in the living room.” 

Everyone follows the two of you, pushing in their chairs as they sprawl out onto the couches and chairs. You set the platter of cookies down and head back and get everyone some napkins and plates. Everyone picks out their favorite cookies and serves themselves a piece of cake. And you sit on the arm of the couch and lean against Changgu, who is happily chatting about his recent concert, “I know, I was there!” You laugh, “Hey, but we weren’t!” Yanan protests softly, and you encourage him to go on, which he happily does and would have, anyway. You finish your slice of cake and set your empty plate on the side table beside you, which leads to everyone putting their plate on top of yours. 

Hongseok goes, “We can help you clean up if you like.” You both shake your head, “No, you’re our guests tonight.” They nod, and you continue, “We just got a new dishwasher, so we want to make the most of it.” They all laugh, and Hongseok tells you, “That makes sense.” Changgu goes, “Do we look like new dishwasher owners?” He nods, “Yeah.” You laugh, “I guess we have it stamped on our foreheads.” “Yeah, basically.” And Yanan goes, “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe how excited he was about buying your first appliance together.” You laugh, “Really?” You watch as Changgu’s cheeks turn more and more red, “Yeah, he called all of us up telling us all about it.” You grin and tell them, “I told all my friends, too.” You look over at Changgu with a big smile, “We’re all getting old.” He grins and grabs your hand, “You age like fine wine.” You roll your eyes before pulling his hand up and kissing it. You smile at him, “So do you.” 

As the night becomes darker and the time grows later, you let out a yawn. And so does Changgu, which makes Hui look at his clock, “I’d hate to be making us leave first, but I have a schedule in the morning.” You all whine, “The day after Christmas?” He shrugs, “Well, I’m preparing for my album...” You nod, and Shinwon and Jinho get up, too. You follow them to the door as they gather their things. Jinho is the first to thank you both for the meal. And you tell him it was fun having him and the rest of the members over. Changgu opens his arms, which Jinho reluctantly accepts before accepting your hug too. 

Shinwon follows, hugging you both and telling you, “See, I told you it wasn’t going to be too hard.” You both roll your eyes at him, and Changgu tells him, “Yeah, you were right, but I’m glad it’s Yanan’s turn next year.” Shinwon laughs, “I was glad to pass the torch on to you guys.” You shake your head, “Take care of yourself.” He nods, “I will.” Hoetaek grabs one of your hands and one of Changgu’s. “You guys did so wonderfully. It was such a good dinner.” You grin and thank him, and he says, “No, seriously, you guys did an excellent job.” He brings you both in for a hug at the same time. He lets go of your hands before telling you guys to take care. You bid the three of them goodbye and wish them a Merry Christmas before watching them leave. 

You return to the living room, where Yuto talks about his latest solo projects. And you all listen intently, as he does as it grows later. Hongseok gathers him, Yanan, and Hyunggu. Hongseok gingerly tells you both goodbye, giving you both a strong hug after telling you what he liked most. Hyunggu smiles as he puts his hat back on, “I didn’t expect any less from you guys. It was excellent.” You nod, and he hugs you both, and you can’t help but grin. Yanan thanks you both for the delicious dinner, pulling his scarf tighter around his neck before squeezing the both of you into a hug. And Yuto smiles, “Thanks guys, that was a wonderful meal and dessert.” You smile, “It’s no problem.” He hugs you both before exiting and following the three out the door. You both realize you forgot to wish them a Merry Christmas, so you both shout it as they enter the vehicle. And they shout it right back. You both laugh as you shut the door.

You watch them drive off before settling across from the last guest. “Wooseok!” He smiles, “I know you both probably want your alone time now.” You look over at Changgu and shrug. You tell him, “We could always watch a Christmas special or something with you.” And Changgu continues, “You couldn’t bother us with your presence.” Wooseok smiles before looking at the clock, “I know, but I can always come over later in the week.” You both agree, and he gets up, “I just wanted to say goodbye last.” You laugh at that, and you all head to the door for the last time. You go, “I can’t believe they let you drive all by yourself! You best be careful!” He laughs, “I will, don’t worry.” You both nod and hug him before he leaves. He thanks you both for the delicious meal and says, “Merry Christmas.” And you both repeat it back, “Merry Christmas.” 

He exits out into the cold air. You watch him take off and leave your window. Just to turn back and see that you’re left with a mess of things to clean up. You sigh, “Glad we have that new dishwasher…” He smiles, “Did you really tell all of your friends?” You smile as you nod, and he kisses your forehead before you kiss his. He looks back at the mess ahead of him and shakes his head, “We’ll still have to clean up the rest of it, though.” You sigh even louder, “We got a lot to do.” You look around at the mess for a while longer, “You want to leave it for later?” He sighs in relief, “Oh yeah, let’s get cleaned up and go to bed.” You smile, and you both head up to the bathroom and change into your pajamas. 

After you return from the bathroom, you both collapse in your bed, “We’ll do the dishes tomorrow.” He laughs and pulls you into his arms, “Yeah, tomorrow.” You curl into his chest, “We did a good job.” “Yeah.” “I’m glad it’s over.” He hums, “Me too. Good luck to Yanan next year.” You laugh, “Yeah, good luck, Yanan.” You pull the covers over the both of you, “I love you. Good night.” “Good night, I love you more.” “Ggu…” He pouts, and you go, “I love you most.” He giggles as he says, “I love you mostest.” You roll your eyes, “I love you the most mostest.” “Nuh-uh.” “Yeah-huh.” “Nuh-uh.” “Yeah-huh. Good night, Ggu.” “Nuh-uh, I love you even more. Good night, my love.” You groan and whisper, “I love you even more than that.” Before drifting off to sleep, he says softly before falling asleep, “I love you two round trips to the moon and back, baby.”

[diverseinsertknet]

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Look for the reader insert fic you want at DiverseInsertKNet with links organized by Group Names N through S below. This list will regularly add groups and idols as more stories are reblogged to the network. Entries without a link are currently in the queue and waiting to be published. Desktop/web browser users- the original version of this post on DiverseInsertKNet will always be the most up to date.

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K-pop Group Names N-S

NCT- Dong Sicheng, Huang Renjun, Jeong Jaehyun, Jung Sungchan, Kim Dongyoung, Kim Jungwoo, Lee Donghyuck, Lee Jeno, Mark Lee, Lee Taeyong, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, Liu Yangyang, Moon Taeil, Na Jaemin, Nakamoto Yuta, Osaki Shotaro, Park Jisung, Qian Kun, Johnny Suh, Wong Kunhang, Xiao Dejun, Zhong Chenle

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NU'EST

ONEUS- Kim Gunhak, Lee Keonhee, Lee Seoho, Yeo Hwanwoong

ONEWE- Kanghyun Gu, Jin Yonghoon, Ju Harin, Lee Giuk, Son Dongmyeong

P1Harmony- Choi Jiung, Yoon Keeho

Pentagon- Adachi Yuto, Go Shinwon, Jo Jinho, Jung Wooseok, Kang Hyunggu, Kim Hyojong, Lee Hoetaek, Yan An, Yang Hongseok, Yeo Changgu

Red Velvet- Bae Juhyun

RIIZE- Hong Seunghan, Jung Sungchan, Lee Chanyoung, Lee Sohee, Osaki Shotaro, Park Wonbin, Song Eunseok

Seventeen- Boo Seungkwan, Choi Seungcheol, Hansol Vernon Chwe, Jeon Wonwoo, Joshua Hong, Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung, Lee Chan, Lee Jihoon, Lee Seokmin, Wen Junhui, Xu Minghao, Yoon Jeonghan

SF9- Baek Juho, Kim Inseong, Kim Seokwoo, Kim Youngkyun, Lee Jaeyoon, Yoo Taeyang

SHINee- Choi Minho, Kim Kibum, Lee Taemin

Stray Kids- Bang Chan, Han Jisung, Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Yang Jeongin

Super Junior- Park Jeongsu

[cheesepizza99]

/ PENTAGON FANFICTION COMMENTARY BY CHEESE PIZZA /

There is this one fanfiction where Shinwon, Hui, and Jinho are a thing ( technically not yet a thing). And the last update was on 22nd Jan 2021. It's literally a huge cliffhanger. And from the past two months, all I do is go to ao3 to see if it's updated, feel sad for a second because it not and move on with life. 

[esohn]

i know i don’t have many followers on this account but trust me when i say pentagon is so deserving of your love and admiration. they’ve worked so hard to get where they are and us universes always are welcoming to new fans. please give them a chance! 💜💕💙

[baby-iloveyou]

A private afterparty

pairing: Kang Hyunggu from Pentagon x gn!reader genre: smut; university!fic warnings: university!hyunggu, a lot of tongue and cheek, Hyunggu is a teasing little bastard, friendly 'bullying' and teasing, drinking alcohol, a lot of 'sex with your mum' jokes, swearing, bisexual!hyunggu summary: Kang Hyunggu was one of the members of your project group, and he's also one of the most loved people in your year. You're good friends with him, and after this party you decide to hang out just a bit longer. It just isn't a very common way of hanging out when you're friends... word count: 5.7k writer notes: my longest piece so far! this is heavily inspired on an event that did actually happen to me so i really hope you enjoy! it was definitely fun to write ;)

You were finally done! The group project you had to work on had been handed in. “Thank fuck that’s done, now we just have the presentation left. But the biggest obstacle is behind us!” You sent in the groupchat. Jinho, your group’s mentor, almost instantly replied: “Good job guys, do you want to grab some dinner together to celebrate? There is also a beach party starting at around 8PM so we could go there afterwards too. We might be a bit later than the actual start but that should be alright.” Dinner together and a party afterwards sounded like a good idea to you, and to most of your group mates as well.

One of your group mates was Kang Hyunggu. Almost everyone from your year knew him, the handsome funny guy from the orientation week. How many times had you heard his name as a whisper from the people sitting behind you when you were seated in the café of your faculty. And now you were good friends with him because of the group project. At first, you didn’t want to admit that he was the full package. However, the more you started talking to him and got closer to him, you could understand why everyone was in love with this guy. His face literally seemed as if it was from an artwork, his face would be the definition of ‘beauty’ in a dictionary. He was tall, and his body proportions were amazing. Not only that, but his frame was also nicely shaped since he danced every single day. He’s a confident man, who loves to tease and joke around. Not an opportunity slips past him to crack some stupid joke or to mess with you just for the sake of teasing.

And you had to admit, all his teasing made you feel weak. It made you fall in love with him.

You loved being teased, although it would seem like you were getting annoyed with it. In reality, you would just try to deny the fact that you did like it. That was the fun in it; if he would’ve known you didn’t mind the teasing, he probably would’ve stopped. And that’s not what you were after.

“Are you guys also going to the beach party from Viking tonight?” You sent in the groupchat with your friends. “My project group and I are grabbing dinner together and then we’re going so if any of you are coming, let me know!” After you had sent the message, another message from the project group came in. “Where should we meet up?” Yanan asked, followed by a response from Yuto, who suggested getting some burgers at the new place in the city centre. Everyone agreed and you would be meeting each other in a few hours.

“I am planning on going so I’ll see you later Y/N! Don’t forget to bring some drinks, I believe they’re not providing those at the party”, your friend Bora sent in the groupchat. You were getting excited, it had been a while since you had gone out for a party. You took the time to get dressed, and wear something you felt confident in, and got ready to leave when it was almost time for dinner.

When you arrived, you saw Hyunggu, Shinwon and Changgu standing in front of the restaurant already. “Hey guys!” You shouted out so they saw you arriving. “Hey there Y/N!” Changgu replied. You parked your bike next to a tree and walked over to the group. “How is everyone doing now that we’ve finished the report?” Shinwon grinned and said: “Pretty good, I’m so glad we’re done.” Everyone nodded agreeingly. “We’re just waiting for the rest, we could also go inside beforehand and wait there?” Hyunggu suggested, which everyone found a good idea. He sent out a message to the groupchat, informing the rest who hadn’t arrived yet that the four of you would be waiting inside for them and followed you inside.

Once the entire group was complete and was seated, your mentor had a little speech prepared. “Everyone worked extremely hard on this report, I’m so very proud of you guys for writing such a good piece. Now it’s time to drink some drinks and party until we can’t anymore! Cheers guys!” You raised your glass, clinking it with every other glass (that you could reach from your position at the table) before taking a big gulp. Everyone started talking to each other about everything and nothing at the same time, and there was a jolly atmosphere. You were enjoying this evening a lot.

However, this is where Hyunggu had decided to start messing around with you. “Do you think you can finish that entire glass with your height? Don’t you think you’re a bit too young for that?” He poked out his tongue and smirked, knowing that his words affected you. He just didn’t know in what way they affected you. “I might be shorter than you, and a few months younger than you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t drink.” You said, while jokingly rolling your eyes. “Is that so? What about we see who can chug a bottle quicker later at the party? I want to see this with my own eyes, I want to see you lose with my own eyes.” Hyunggu said, as he softly bit the inside of his lower lip. This man will drive me insane with how insanely good-looking he is, you thought to yourself. You weren’t the one to say no to a challenge, so while leaning back into the couch, arms crossed, you said: “Challenge accepted”, while staring right into his eyes and a tiny smirk popping up on your face.

It was now about an hour later. Everyone had finished their food, and half of the group was already tipsy. You, Hyunggu and Hongseok weren’t a part of that group. You were saving your all for the challenge that would happen later that night. “If everyone has had enough, we can start moving to the beach?” Jinho proposed to the group. Everyone agreed, and after paying for the food, the entire group was standing outside, ready to leave for a good party. “Shit, I still need to get some drinks. You guys can go ahead though, I’ll get there by myself!” You shouted, realising you didn’t buy any drinks yet. “Are you sure, Y/N?” Jinho asked to make sure you would be alright. “I’ll stay with Y/N, we’ll make sure to keep you updated”, someone from behind you said to Jinho. And you knew that voice all too well - Kang Hyunggu. “Alright, stay safe you two. We’ll see you showing up later!” The mentor said before taking off on his bicycle, following the rest of the group.

“My god, I cannot believe you.” You say, with a smile on your face and rolling your eyes at Hyunggu when you turned around to face him. “Are you this obsessed with me already after a 7-week period?” You smirk at the man, now standing in front of you. Hyunggu snorts. “Nah, I just like annoying you because you have the best reactions out of anyone.” “Well, thanks I guess.” You walk into the store and head right to the liquor aisle. “Which beer do you fancy chugging tonight?” You ask Hyunggu. “Which one do you hate?” “Are you really planning on trying to win in an unfair way? Pfft!” You huff at him, acting out disbelief on your face. “Well, then which one do you love? I’ll prove to you that flavour doesn’t matter.” He winked at you, a smirk slowly showing again. You muttered out a “yeah, sure” before grabbing a few bottles and heading over to the cash register to pay.

“Do you know which way we have to go? Then I don’t have to use Google Maps.” You asked Hyunggu. Mistake number one: don’t ask him any serious questions. “I think it’s where your home is.” You looked up at him, confusion showing in your eyes. “Well, your mum is there and I think I’d have a great night.” He winked, a smug smirk with his teeth showing. You punched him in the arm. “God, stop it with the ‘your mum’ jokes. That one was horrible!” You snickered. In the meantime, you had googled the address that Jinho sent in your groupchat and had figured out the route. “ Let’s go loser, or we’ll be even later.”

During this 15-minute bike ride, Hyunggu could not stop cracking ‘your mum’ jokes. Mistake number two: don’t tell him to stop doing a certain thing, because he will keep going. The only thing you could do was sigh every time. He just kept on going. And going. And they somehow got worse over time (you didn’t think that was possible, considering they were already terrible from the start). “Did you know my height isn’t the only thing that’s big? Bet your mum would like that.” “What if I become your step-father? I think your mum would want to marry me.” They just became sillier and sillier. Once you arrived at the beach, you could not park your bike quick enough to escape the endless stream of ‘your mum’ jokes.

“Bora, help me, Hyunggu is just making sex jokes about my mum and he’s being annoying!” You whined at your best friend, who had been here since the beginning of the party and was slightly tipsy at the moment. She couldn’t help but laugh. “Typically Hyunggu. I can’t help you much with that, sweetheart.” Hyunggu caught up with you, and Hongseok joined you and Bora as well. The campfire behind you was a source of warmth, but it was still terribly cold. Who decided to host a beach party in the middle of October?

“Are you ready to get owned, Ggu?” You taunted him, slightly turning your head to seem intimidating. It didn’t work. Hyunggu stuck out his tongue and looked off in the distance as a reaction. “Do you still really believe I will lose?” His eyes now focused on your face, and your eyes to be more specific. You avoided his gaze, opened your bottle and raised it. “Do you want to bet something on this?” Your eyes now looked back up to his eyes, awaiting his response. He raised one eyebrow, intrigued at your offer. “Do you have any interesting offers?” You stayed silent for a few seconds to think. “If you win, you get to see a photo of my mum that you so dearly want to fuck. If I win, you stop with the ‘your mum’ jokes.” You prompted. “Alright. Good luck, friend.” Bora and Hongseok counted down for your start to be fair. “Three… Two… One… Drink!” You raised the bottle to your lips, letting the liquid flow into your mouth, Hyunggu doing the same.

It was a close battle, but in the end, Hyunggu won. You let out a big sigh, a tad disappointed that you couldn’t boast to him that you won a chugging battle against him. “What a sweet drink, bet your mum tastes even sweeter than this! And I’ll guess that is a victory for me, how unexpected!” He let out, in a very sarcastic tone. Your hand rubbed over your face, admitting defeat. “Whatever, you were just lucky. But a deal’s a deal, so I’ll show you a picture of my mum.” You pulled out your phone out of your jacket’s pocket, looking for a photo where your mum was clearly visible. “Here you go, Hyunggu. Are you satisfied now?” You held the phone in front of his face. “Okay, to be honest, not my type, but that doesn’t stop me from cracking all those jokes.” He stuck out his tongue again, and at this point, you were sure he was so full of himself, confidence radiating off of him now that he beat you. And frustratingly enough, it was attractive. It was so hot, seeing him in his element so much, his hair slightly damp from the mist in the air. He was so fucking hot. And you couldn’t help the dirty thoughts that were flooding your mind.

“Oh man, I knew you were short but wow, you’re a real shorty!” Hyunggu grinned. You were standing in a circle-ish formation, and unfortunately, you were standing at the bit where the sand was slightly lower, making the height difference between you and Hyunggu even bigger. It also did not help that Hongseok had now joined in with Hyunggu, making comments about your height. You bit on your tongue, taking a step closer to the man standing across from you. Your face got closer and closer to his, until you were only inches away from each other. This entire time, you held eye contact with him. “I cannot believe you.” You chuckled. “Could you just shut up for a moment?” Your tongue poked out of your mouth, still biting on it.

Hyunggu did not move backwards at all. He stayed perfectly still where he was standing. You actually expected him to back away, but the fact that he didn’t was attractive. Anything this guy did was attractive and it annoyed you. Why did he not move a fucking inch? It drove you crazy. “Where’s the fun in that, though? I like teasing you, like I said earlier. Don’t you remember?” He copied your expression, his smile turning into a smirk as always. “Hey, either get a room or stop with this sexual tension. Hongseok and I are still here, remember?” Bora interrupted your little staring competition. You slowly widened the gap between you and Hyunggu again, while saying: “Do you really think I’d have sex with him when he’d rather fuck my mum?” Hyunggu snickered. “I see you’ve caught on with the ‘your mum’ jokes. I thought you hated them so much?” Your eyes were lasering a hole into his face. “Don’t make me strangle you.” He jokingly held up his hands next to his head.

“Guys, I do have to catch a bus so I’ll get going now.” Bora exclaimed after an hour. It was getting late, and so the rest of you also decided to leave with her. The four of you all cycled together to the station, you and Hyunggu paying extra attention to Bora and Hongseok since they were drunk and you didn’t want your friends to fall off their bikes.

Once you arrived at the station, you were about to say your goodbyes to each other, when Hongseok said the following: “I know this is out of the blue, but I just want to place a bet real quick.” Everyone looked at him with curiosity. “I’m almost certain you two…”, pointing at both you and Hyunggu, “...you are gonna fuck tonight. There’s no way around it.” Bora cackled and agreed with Hongseok, also betting on it. The only appropriate response to this was to laugh it off, you thought. “They are drunk, they don’t know what they’re talking about.” Hyunggu said to you. “You’re right, haha.” Secretly, you were wishing Bora and Hongseok were right.

“I’ll see you guys soon! Have a good night!” You waved Bora and Hongseok goodbye. Bora had to catch her bus, and Hongseok just went home. This left you and Hyunggu alone, right next to the station. “Ah, that was fun.” You said to Hyunggu, expecting some snarky joke about how your mum would also be a lot of fun. But he didn’t. “It really was. That one beer you picked out was really nice, by the way.” He indirectly complimented you? This was new. You weren’t used to this. “What’s this? You’re being nice to me? I didn’t know you could do that?” He rolled his eyes. “Just because I choose not to, doesn’t mean I can’t actually be very nice to you. And isn’t that what friends do? Bully each other in a friendly way?” You couldn’t believe his words. You knew he genuinely respected you, but to hear him confirm it was so… sweet. “I guess you’re right, yeah. It is honestly quite fun when you tease me like that. It’s a fun dynamic.” You smile at him, making him smile as well.

An hour had passed, and you were actually having a regular conversation. No teasing (okay, some teasing, because it IS still Hyunggu in the end), just talking casually about what your lives had been up to in the last few weeks outside of the project. It was nice. You felt so comfortable with him, as if you had known him for much longer than 7 weeks. And you assumed he felt the same way, seeing his comfortable stance and the way he talked to you.

Another hour passed. It was now 2AM, and you were freezing. The mist had gotten even thicker, and you could barely see 50 metres away from you. After two hours of standing outside, you saw some lights approaching. Two people cycled past you, and Hyunggu, after they were far enough away from you two, said: “They are gonna fuck, for sure. No doubt about that. Did you see the eyes of that guy? He’s needy as fuck.” You raised your eyebrow at him. “Yeah, sure they are. What about those three in the distance?” You pointed at the three heads you saw through the window of an apartment. He looked up and giggled. “I don’t know about them. I mean, maybe?” It prompted him to ask you: “Do you think you’d be interested in threesomes?”

The question caught you off-guard. You didn’t think you would be outside at 2AM, talking to Kang Hyunggu out of all people, about threesomes out of all subjects. “I think I’d like it? I mean, extra pleasure at the same time? But it has to be with the right people.” He nodded. “If it’s with the right people, I would give it a try. But otherwise, I think I’m good.”

The conversation slowly drifted to more sexual topics, like your sexual preferences and kinks. “I used to be just into women, but I came to the realisation that I like other genders as well a year or two ago.” The casual coming-out from Hyunggu either confirmed that he trusted you or that he was comfortable with his sexuality. Or both. Either way, it made you happy that he shared it with you. “Honestly, as long as they are up for squishing my ass, we’re good.” He laughed. “Oh, so you’re into that huh?” You raised an eyebrow at him while smirking. “Perhaps I am.” He winked back at you.

“Were you a horny teen?” You asked him, while snickering at the question. He scoffed. “Make a guess, Y/N. I’m a guy who loves to make sex jokes. What do you think?” You chuckled at his answer. “Okay, I guess that's clear then.” “What about you? Were you?” You were slightly hesitant at first to answer, but after a few seconds you said: “Yes, it was honestly terrible how horny I was back in the day.” You were rewarded with a Hyunggu laugh. “Okay, so what about now? Are you still as horny? Did you play games like truth or dare as well?” “I’ve never played truth or dare as in, the sexual version, no. And I’d like to think I’m not stuck anymore in the ‘only thinking about sex’ loop.” You chuckled. “Do you want to play truth or dare then? It’s funny, I swear.”

Why were you playing truth or dare with your very attractive, hot, handsome friend, in the midst of the night, outside while it was freezing? You didn’t know entirely why. You didn’t know what in you thought it was a good idea to say yes to his proposal to play truth or dare. Although he did say he would keep it PG, you weren’t sure whether you wanted him to stay PG. The way he had been constantly teasing you made you extremely needy for him, for his touch. It made you feel pathetic, wanting to feel his cock inside you so badly. Yet here you were, playing ‘PG truth or dare’ in the cold, at 3AM.

“Was there a moment where you really hated me?” Hyunggu asked, an expecting look in his eyes. “About… 5 hours ago? When you were just going on and on with the ‘your mum’ jokes?” He cackled, his eyes closing from laughing. “Be honest though, some of them were really good”, he paused, “just like me in bed when I’m fucking your mum.” You punched his side, in disbelief but also not surprised at all. “What’s up with the ‘I’m keeping this game PG’? Did you forget about that?” You smiled. “It’s mostly been PG, and I was just stating the truth, mind you.” You raised your eyebrows at him, staring at him, your mouth agape. You were speechless. He didn’t pay too much attention to your state, asking you whether you wanted a truth or a dare. “Truth.” “Now that I’ve already made a sexual remark, can I just ask anything?” You nodded. Sure, what was the worst thing he could ask? “Are you horny right now?”

You raised your eyebrows again, this time in disbelief. Did he actually just ask that? What the fuck? “I… I…” You couldn’t talk. It felt as if all the words you knew had suddenly vanished from your memory. “If you don’t want to answer that question, then that-” “Yes, I am. Very horny, even.” It left Hyunggu silent. What was the point of asking that question? You imagined him teasing you with the information, but he just… stood there. He had said nothing about it. No teasing, nothing that provoked you. It felt out of place. And the silence was killing you.

“Truth or dare?” It was his turn to pick one. It was the first time after a minute that your eyes met again. “Dare.” Hyunggu said, just a bit louder than a whisper, but not as loud as normal speech. You, trying to lighten up the mood a bit again, jokingly said: “If you’re so desperate for fucking my mum, then do whatever you want to do with her to me.” It obviously was a joke, you could easily tell from your tone. But Hyunggu stayed silent, eyes locked with yours, inching closer and closer without breaking eye contact. So close even, that your foreheads and noses were touching each other.

You could feel your body burning, your lust growing with every step he took. At some point it didn’t even feel like it was freezing anymore. It suddenly felt like it was the middle of summer with how hot you were getting. Your mind was racing with thoughts, until they were interrupted by Hyunggu speaking up.

“And what if I prefer doing you instead?”

He said that. He actually said that. You could not believe your ears. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach, but also the burning feeling in your lower area. Kang Hyunggu said that he wanted to fuck you. You caught him staring at your lips and were able to pull away just in time. “Please come over to my place.” You stared at him, almost begging he would nod and come with you. So the moment his head moved up and down, you instantly got onto your bikes and led the way to your apartment.

The way you cycled home felt as if you were a cyclist in the Tour De France. You were going at such a quick pace, not being able to wait any longer to be on top of each other, to feel each other’s skin, to let your lips collide and let your tongues dance with each other. As soon as your apartment building was in sight, you parked the bikes as quickly as you could and walked quickly towards the front door of the building. You lived on the 4th floor of this block of apartments so there was either the option of the elevator or the stairs to get there. And as two horny university students, taking the lift is the better option, is what your slightly tipsy brain thought.

You were lucky it was 3AM, the entrance was completely empty and there was no sign of life in the lift either. The little lift was extremely gross, but you and Hyunggu couldn’t help yourselves. The moment you stepped inside this elevator, he pushed you against the back wall, kissing you like a starving man, subtly grinding into you. The suddenness caught you off guard, letting a moan come through. You could feel him smirk in the kiss. And you couldn’t help but hum just a bit more for his pleasure.

The sound the lift made when you arrived at the floor of your apartment almost drowned in the 18+ sounds that left your mouths. He grabbed your hand, speed walking towards the doors lined up in front of him, while asking: “Which one?” As you were looking for your keys, you responded: “Room 069.” Hyunggu struggled to keep in a laugh, you could hear a faint “pfft” and see a big grin on his face. “I know, haha funny number. Let’s just get going please, I need you right now.” You said, slightly serious because of the desperation. “We can do the funny number if you’re down for that?” Hyunggu proposed while winking at you, still walking towards the room, but now walking backwards. “Hyunggu, we’ll decide what we do when we’re actually doing it please. I’m so fucking horny.” You couldn’t keep it together, he was driving you mad. When you arrived at the door, you unlocked it and quickly got inside.

Hyunggu pushed you against the back of your front door, the same way he did it in the lift. Except this time, you were certain no one would see you, no one would hear you (or at least less clearly), and no one would interrupt you. It was just you and him. And you were enjoying every second of it. The teasing Kang Hyunggu you knew, had turned into devilish very-good-kisser-and-probably-very-good-in-bed Kang Hyunggu. You enjoyed seeing this new side of him. And you wanted to explore more of this side.

The way his lips were on yours, the hunger that had washed over you both, the way his hands were trailing over every single bit of your body, the way your hands clenched his hair and dishevelled it. The path your hands took to trail from his hair to his ass, softly touching his jaw, dropping it to his chest, over his back and softly pinching the supple skin of his behind. “Fuck, that-that’s nice…” Hyunggu softly moaned out. “You-you rem-remembered…” “Of course, at that point I was already horny for you.” You casually blurted out, which led to a short grin from the both of you.

Never did you think you would be doing this with him. But never would you regret ever doing it with him.

Your hands snaked back to his chest, as you disconnected your lips from his and pushed him backwards, nodding towards your bedroom. He looked behind him for a split second and started walking backwards towards the door, slowly taking off clothing. You did the same, not a single second where you broke eye contact. The tension in the room was higher than a junkie on a day off, and with every step you were more turned on.

Since you lived in an apartment, all your rooms were on the same floor, which was very convenient for this moment. Hyunggu had pushed open the door, looking back once again to see your bed in the middle of the room, and making sure he didn’t trip over anything. Your eyes had now drifted to his neck, and you picked up your pace to get closer to him again. Most of your clothes had now been taken off and were decorating the floor of the living room. Once you were standing a few inches away from him again, you latched your lips onto his neck, kissing the soft skin, sucking it just hard enough to form some hickeys. “You look so pretty with those, Hyunggu. I wonder what people will think when THE Kang Hyunggu shows up with a neck littered with hickeys tomorrow morning during the psychology lecture.” Your tone was extremely teasing, sounding sweet yet menacing in a way. You could see the darkness, the lust in his eyes, after you said that. You just knew it was affecting him.

For the first time in your life, you felt like you had some power over him. And it felt kinda good.

You pushed him onto the bed, his back hitting the mattress and your blankets. He was completely naked apart from his boxer shorts, the fabric tightly around his member, the precum bleeding through and staining the cotton. It was a sight you wished to see more than once. You could feel your own situation getting messy down there, with this eye-candy in front of you on top of already being very turned on.

You reached over to your bed stand, grabbing a condom from the drawer. Hyunggu caught on and slipped off the last piece of clothing. His dick sprung out of the restraints, his body gently thrusting into the air, in need of something around his cock. You rolled the condom down his member, licking your lips and trying very hard to fight the urge of just sucking his dick. You needed him in you too much to delay that. Hyunggu slightly twitched at your cold hands touching his private part, a groan escaping his throat.

The last pieces of your clothing were now on your bedroom floor, as you took them off. Hyunggu was still lying on your bed, looking at your frame, you could see his tongue darting over his lips, biting his bottom lip. He was so into it. And so were you.

You sank onto his girth, both of you sighing and moaning. You had been waiting for this moment for quite a few hours now, and it felt so good to be filled up. Hyunggu was having the same kind of euphoria, finally being able to have his cock in you. After you both had adjusted, you started moving. Forwards and backwards, up and down. Your skin was rubbing together, your moving up and down was slamming your skin together, creating lewd sounds that filled the room. Not only those sounds, but your moans and groans, as well as Hyunggu’s huffs and moans were echoing in the room.

“God, you feel… so good… Y/N….” Hyunggu managed to say, his hips now thrusting into you as well. It added so much to the moment, it turned you on all over again. His dancer hips had so much control, being able to sharply thrust into you at the right time. It made you sigh. But it wasn’t ever enough. “Fuck, faster! Please Ggu…” Your voice involuntarily rose, and you were almost sure your neighbours could’ve heard that. But in the moment, you could not give a single fuck. You needed him, he needed you. The bliss you were in right now was worth any awkward conversations you needed to have with your flatmates.

Hyunggu might not have been the most ripped guy ever (Hongseok, your shared friend, had muscles for days compared to Hyunggu), but the way he could control his body as a dancer was incredible. And it showed. Or at least, you could feel it. Every thrust was so precise and controlled, every movement making you feel closer to the edge.

“Your fucked out face… It’s hot… You look so - shit - fucking hot Y/N…” Hyunggu suddenly blurted out. The dirty talk was a surprise, but one you welcomed. “You should… See your own face… Shit, so pretty…” You replied. The reply came out as huffs and puffs, but he was able to understand you. “Do you - fuck - like being filled up by me, Y/N? Am I making you feel good?” He said, his tongue slightly hanging out of his mouth, his hair sticking to his forehead. The scene was so erotic, and his words were messing you up. “I do, I love it so much!” You wanted to be cheeky, but you simply couldn’t. The bliss was simply too much for you to lie. You needed all of him.

You started feeling a knot in your stomach, signalling you were close. “I-I think I’m gon-gonna cum.” This prompted Hyunggu to say: “Scream my name. I want to hear it, but more importantly, I want your neighbours to hear you being this pathetic because of me.” “I think they already heard us, we’ve been loud and it is 4AM.” The opportunity to be cheeky was there, and so you grabbed it. However, you still listened to his request. You wanted to scream it, you wanted to do anything he asked you. “Fuck fuck fuck, Hyunggu, I’m gonna cum!” “I’m really fucking close too!” The only sounds audible now were your huffs, chasing your highs.

You came first, and Hyunggu came from the sight and feeling of you cumming. You got off him and rested your arms and head on his chest, sighing loudly after coming down from your high. Hyunggu raised his head slightly to kiss the crown of your head. You were laying in silence for a few minutes, until Hyunggu decided to speak up. “I guess our friends were right in the end.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Shit, you’re right. But that’s what you’re thinking of right now? After all this?” You looked up at him. “I mean, we are still students Y/N. I can use every single bit of money I have.” He grinned, his eyes wrinkling up. “You’re right.” You said.

After cleaning up, you sat together underneath the blankets. “I can’t believe this all happened because I joked about fucking your mum.” You punched him in the side while facepalming. “I can’t believe it either.” “Maybe I should make those jokes more often.” You looked him in the eyes, a slight bit of disbelief on your face. “N-no, I’d rather have you just ask me to fuck instead of having to bear those terrible, terrible jokes.” You both cracked up. “Alright, deal.”

[huihuiheart]

Kinktober Schedule-

PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING ON: All fics for Kinktober will be 18+ works. These are NSFW and are most likely going to contain smut! (One or two may simply be suggestive, but that is unlikely. If this may be triggering to you then please be aware that they will all be tagged #kinktober to be easily avoided. In addition everything will include EXTENSIVE warnings at the beginning and a keep reading marker to prevent you from accidentally reading anything. If something doesn’t seem right, please please send me an ask or dm, so we can POLITELY have a conversation. I would like to understand why it was an issue (to avoid in the future) and how to fix it. That being said you have been warned, continue at your own risk.

Subject to Change (especially titles of things as I work on them), but there will be something everyday.

They will drop at 10:00 am EST each day except for first piece, which will drop sooner to kick off kinktober.

Pairing will be stated at the beginning of the work. For all gender neutral pieces, I tried to proof read to make sure they were good for sure, but sometimes I do miss something. If you spot something just dm me where it was please. Thank you!

Continuations can be requested!

D1. Watersports w/ Taehyung - Req - Words: 1,272 - GN

D2. Pinned - S.Coups -Words: 1,267 - F

D3. Face Sitting - Yunho - Words: 1,240 -F

D4. Start With the Basics - Jinho (Pentagon) - Words: 1,279 -F

D5. Risky Business - The8 - Words: 1387 - F

D6. Don’t Tempt - Seungmin - Words: 1249 - GN

D7. Open Book - Seonghwa - Words: 1,393 -F

D8. All For Show - Stripper! Shownu- Words: 1,480 -F - pt. 2 Req

D9. Listen Closely - Felix - Words: 2,042 -F

D10. Sweet Talk - Dino - Words: 1,061 - GN

D11. Limitless - Wonwoo - Words: 1,543 - Pt. 2 Req - F

D12. Sculpted - Xiumin - Words: 1,356 - GN

D13. Show Off - Junhui - Words: 681 - Technical Difficulties please stand by while I fix this one

D14. Something New - Hui - Words: 661 -F

D15. Yes Sir - Mafia! Changkyun - Words: 1,799 - Pt. 2 Req -F

D16. Obvious - Hybrid! San - Words: 1,285 - Pt. 2 Req -F

D17. Distraction - Stripper! J-Hope - Words: 1,225 - GN

D18. Love Stings - Shinwon - Words: 432 - GN

D19. Exes - Lay - Words: 544 -GN

D20. Snapped - Woozi - Words: 369 - GN

D21. Sleep In - Chanyeol - Words: 428 - F

D22.  She Drives Me Crazy - Redo of my Switch! Yuta smut (that accidentally got deleted) - Words: 1,666  -F

D23. Rings - Yuto - Words: 426 - GN

D24. Punishment - D.O - Words: 394 - GN

D25. Foggy - Hoshi - Words: 388 -GN

D26. So Close - Namjoon - Words: 578 - F

D27. Muse - Chan - 570 - GN

D28. Wet - Han - 573 - F

D29.  Doll - Taeil + Jeno - Words: 999 -F

D30.  BDSM Party Series - First Visit - Hanse, Chan, Minho, Yixing, Jun, Mingyu,  Momo, Hwasa, Seulgi, Seonghwa - Part 1 Hanse- Mingyu - Word Count: 14,609 - F

D31.  Sex God - Hwang Hyunjin - Words: 789 - Pt. 2 coming - F

[ohmyjinsus]

the right reasons

yang hongseok x gender neutral! reader

recent college grads nonsense idk || 5.9k

** there is some drinking in this (they are of age, after all), but no swearing uwu**

finally, a fic not inspired by a taylor swift song, shocking, I know (I listened to cruel summer on a loop while I was writing this though, I think y’all will see why)

summary: when your best friend, hongseok, decides to audition for bachelor in paradise after graduation, you don’t want to believe it ….. mainly because you’re in love with him, even if you haven’t realized it yet

“Do you think I should apply?”

You look up. The two of you are watching The Bachelor in his apartment. Hongseok’s the only other person you know who’s into it. Once you found out, you immediately agreed to watch it together. Ordering takeout and making fun of the contestants has been your tradition ever since you met 4 years ago.

“I’m confused,” you say. You were checking your phone during the commercials.

“Bachelor in Paradise,” Hongseok replies, gesturing to the TV. “They’re casting for next season, there was an ad.”

“That came out of nowhere.” He doesn’t look phased.

“We’ve graduated now,” he says. “I don’t know what else to do with my life.”

“You have a point,” you reply. It’s been one month since all of you finished university. Lots of your other friends had jobs lined up beforehand, but you and Hongseok still have no idea what you’re doing.

“Right?” He grins. “I could go on, I’d have something to do, then I’d come back and I’d have a bunch of new Instagram followers and I could do sponsorships or something.”

“You realize that sounds crazy, right?” You grab a french fry from the box on the coffee table.

“It’s not!” You roll your eyes. “Think about it y/n, I’m smart, funny, attractive, nice-”

“Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong, but okay.” He laughs.

“I’m exactly what they’re looking for on these shows.”

“But you want to go on for the wrong reasons.”

“Shhhh,” he tells you. “Nobody needs to know that.”

“What’s your story then?” You ask.

“I grew up seeing my parents being so in love,” you make a gagging noise, but he keeps going. “And now, I want that kind of love for myself. The apps are just no good, and I need to find a special someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Jesus christ,” you mutter. “You didn’t mention anything about your personal journey to find love.”

“Oh right,” he says. “Now that I’m finished university, my main focus is to settle down, get married, have kids, and I’m on my personal journey to find all of that.”

“Amazing,” you fake clap for him. “You’re a shoo-in.”

“There’s no harm in applying, right?” He shrugs. “I doubt it’ll lead anywhere, but it could be fun.”

“I guess so,” you admit. “Your chances are slim, but you never know.”

“What do you mean?” He says, offended. “Have you seen me in a swimsuit?”

“Shut up.” You throw your napkin at him, but you’re laughing.

Hongseok offers to grab you another drink, so you tell him yes. He doesn’t mention anything else about the show for the rest of the night. By the time you’ve gone home, it’s completely slipped your mind.

===

When Hongseok invites you over 2 weeks later, you assume he just wants to hang out and have dinner. You’re shocked when he sits you down on the couch and says he has news to share.

“You’re dating someone.” He shakes his head. “Someone died.”

“No,” he tells you, laughing. “I love how those are your first two guesses though.”

“What is it?”

“I got a call yesterday from the Bachelor in Paradise producers...”

“You’re joking.” You didn’t expect that to go anywhere. You just assumed Hongseok would send in his audition tape and never hear back. The possibility of him actually being on the show makes you feel uneasy. “Really?”

“Yes, y/n, really.” He sits down on the armchair, facing you. “They want to meet me in person next week.”

“Oh my god,” you say. “Congratulations.”

“You don’t sound that happy,” he smirks. “Are you jealous?” You shake your head right away.

“I’m just surprised.”

“You didn’t think they’d want me?” He asks quietly.

“No, of course not,” you reassure him. “You’re kind, and funny, and attractive, why wouldn’t they want you?”

“Exactly,” he grins at you.

“So are you gonna go?” He nods.

“Why not? The worst they could do is say no.”

“That’s so exciting,” you tell him. He seems very happy about it, and the last thing you want to do is bring him down. As his best friend, you should definitely be supportive.

“Will you come with me?”

“What?” You glance at him.

“Downtown, for my interview,” he clarifies. “I have to take the train down and meet them there, I don’t really want to go alone.”

“Are you nervous?”

“A little bit,” he admits. “I’d just feel better if I had someone with me.”

“What about Changgu?” Hongseok shakes his head. “Shinwon?”

“You’re my first choice.” That catches you off guard. “We can make a day of it,” he suggests. “We can go to that bakery you wanted to try on Queen, and we can go shopping, get dinner, it’ll be fun.”

“Sure,” you say. Going on adventures with Hongseok is always a good time. “How long will your interview be?”

“They didn’t say,” he replies. “I just know it’s at 10 on Wednesday.”

“Cool,” you pull out your phone so you can put it in your calendar. “So if it goes horribly, I can cheer you up, and if it goes well, we can celebrate.”

“Sounds good.” He smiles at you. “Thanks y/n.”

You nod but there’s a small part of you that’s anxious. You decide to ignore your feelings for the time being. Your day with Hongseok is going to be great, you should focus on that and enjoy your time together.

===

Hongseok meets you outside the train station the morning of his interview. The first thing you notice is how nicely he’s dressed. As he gets closer to you, you notice he smells really great too.

“I should’ve dressed up some more,” you mutter, glancing down at your own outfit. You’re dressed like you’re going to class, while Hongseok’s dressed for a first date.

“You look fine, don’t worry.” He heads towards the entrance, so you follow close behind.

You were right to have Hongseok come early, as the train is at the platform the second you get there. He follows you to the back of the car, and sits down facing you.

He hasn’t seen you in person since he asked you to join him on this trip. Apparently he went on a shopping trip with Changgu yesterday. That’s when he got his current outfit.

“No wonder this cardigan is so nice, you couldn’t have picked out anything like that yourself.” Hongseok rolls his eyes at you, but he’s smiling.

The train leaves soon after. Hongseok watches out the window like a little kid. He keeps his eyes on the station until it’s all the way out of sight. And you keep your eyes on him until he catches you looking.

“Are you nervous?” You ask him. He shakes his head, but you notice his leg bouncing up and down.

“It’s just like a first date, right?”

“Exactly,” you reassure him. “And you’re great at those.”

“Are you sure?” He asks. “You’ve never been on one with me.” You don’t know how to respond to that. You almost want to tell him to take you on one. But you’re just friends, you remind yourself, you can’t do that.

“You’ve dated more people than I have,” you point out. “You’ll be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The two of you sit in silence for a little while. Hongseok goes on his phone, so you focus on yours. You brought your AirPods so you can listen to music or watch a show while Hongseok’s busy with the producers.

“y/n-” You look up. Hongseok looks like he’s about to ask you something, but he hesitates.

“What’s up?” He shakes his head.

“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?” He asks you. You know that’s not what he was planning on saying, but you go with it.

“While you’re busy, I’ll get us breakfast,” you tell him. “There’s a café across the street, let me show you.” You sit down next to him so you can show him your phone. When he leans over to get a look at the screen, you’re suddenly aware of how close he is. You push it out of your mind.

By the time you’ve planned out your day, you’ve arrived at the train station. The two of you grab all your things and leave the train. Once you’re out of the station, the interview location isn’t too far away. There’s still 20 minutes before Hongseok’s meant to be there. He’s adamant about getting there early though. Although he won’t outright say it, you can tell he’s nervous. No wonder he brought you instead of one of his other friends; they wouldn’t let him live this down.

Once you get there, there’s a line of all the other candidates running through the main hallway. You and Hongseok join the end of the line.

“You don’t have to stay,” he tells you. You shake your head.

“It’s fine,” you say. There’s a check-in desk a few metres ahead of you. “I’ll stay until you get past there.”

“Okay,” he replies. “Thanks.” You bump your shoulder against his.

He’s brought his application package with him, so you ask to look it over while the two of you wait. There’s tons of pictures of him, some of them shirtless, which you quickly flip through. Then there’s copies of all of Hongseok’s identification. At the very back, there’s the printed copy of his application. You move that to the front, flipping through to make sure he didn’t leave anything blank.

He never asked you to look over his online application before he handed it in, so you’re interested to see what he had to say. There are the stereotypical questions about his career, education, background, and all of that. But there are also some more personal questions further down.

Why do you want to be on this show? Are you prepared to get engaged at the end of the season?

Hongseok’s answer is cookie cutter perfect. He knows he’s the prime candidate for this kind of show. Kind, good-looking, easy to fall for. He’s played to all his strengths in his application. You know he’s lying about being prepared to propose at the end of the show, but everyone does that. His answer comes off as genuine though.

The line moves up a little bit while you flip to the next page. It’s all about his dating history. You’re shocked at how invasive these questions are. Then again, if it’s for reality TV, it has to be.

The first section asks for a detailed dating history from the past 5 years. You’re familiar with all of that. He’s never told you about any ex-girlfriends, or anyone he’s currently interested in. He’s a casual dater, and you’ve never seen him tied down for too long. The maximum amount of dates he’s been on with one person is 3. You haven’t seen anyone get past that point. He seems to get bored easily. You’re honestly surprised he’s been friends with you for this long.

Despite all of his casual dating history, he’s made it clear he’s ready to settle down now. You thought he was just making this up to get on the show, but the more you read, the less you’re sure. Maybe he’s just persuasive.

The line moves a little bit more. Now there are just 3 other people ahead of you. Hongseok’s on his phone again. You figure you have enough time to skim the rest of his answers.

Have you ever been in love? is the next question. You know the answer is no, so you’re surprised when there’s a couple paragraphs written underneath it.

I have, but I was never brave enough to act on it. You try to read the entire section as quickly as you possibly can, but your brain doesn’t work that well. You grab some words here and there, years, class, close friends but not enough to fully comprehend.

“C’mon y/n,” Hongseok says to you. “We’re next.” He holds his hand out for the folder.

You glance down at the page you’re on. Although you want to read the rest, you also realize you’ve stumbled upon something incredibly personal. Granted, Hongseok may wind up sharing this on national television, but for now, it’s none of your business.

“Here,” you close it and hand it to him.

“Thanks.”

Hongseok gets checked in soon after that. It takes about 5 minutes for them to verify his identity and double check his application. Finally, they direct him to a room down the hall where he’ll meet some of the producers. They tell you you can’t go beyond this point.

“Good luck,” you say to Hongseok, not sure what else to say. He smiles.

“Thanks y/n.”

Some of his hair is falling in his face, so you reach out to quickly brush it out of the way. When you pull away, he’s looking at you with an expression you’ve never seen before. It feels surprisingly intimate.

“Text me when you’re done,” you tell him, pulling yourself out of your thoughts. “You’ll be great.”

He nods, and the two of you go your separate ways. You know you’ll see him again in an hour, but it still feels weird to say bye to him like this. You hope nothing changes if he does wind up on this stupid show.

You walk out the doors onto the sidewalk again, thankful for the fresh air. You pull your AirPods out of your bag, so you can listen to some music. As you walk along the street, you can’t help but think of Hongseok and what he might be saying to the producers in there.

You tell yourself you’re curious just because you’re best friends. But you can’t get that look on his face out of your mind. You have no idea what it means. You’re just really close friends, right?

You turn the music up, hoping to distract yourself. It works until you pass a small playground. You can’t help but think of Hongseok yet again.

The two of you met during your university’s orientation week, but it wasn’t until halfway during the semester that you actually spoke to him. You knew you were taking some classes together, but you never really thought about it until then.

Speaking in class was something that always terrified you, but one of your professors was adamant that everyone do it in order to get full marks. It took a while for you to work up the courage to raise your hand that day in October. When you were called on, you hesitated for a second, before sharing your answer. You don’t even remember the question anymore, you just remember your professor outright laughing at you. You’d been so sure you were right, but your professor made it very clear that you were not. Right away, you threw all your things into your backpack and ran out of the lecture hall. Your heart was beating so fast and you had no idea where to go. You wound up outside, walking as far as your legs could possibly take you, until you found a park off campus. As soon as you sat down on the swings, you couldn’t help but cry.

It was one thing to get an answer wrong, but to have your professor react like that was humiliating. You were never going back to that class ever again. You’d drop the course, or only show up on test days, whatever it took to never see that godforsaken man ever again. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice when someone sat down on the swing next to you.

After that day, you and Hongseok quickly became friends. You still can’t believe he was kind enough to follow you out of class like that, but he always tells you it was nothing. As you think back to it now, you can’t help but feel a rush of affection for him. Maybe he is more than a friend to you.

You head to the playground and sit on the swings alone, thinking back to some of your other memories with Hongseok. He’s always been there for you to lean on, and you’ve always done the same for him, like today. You remember feeling this way when he’d specifically asked you to come with him. At this point, you’re about 90% sure you have feelings for him. You don’t know how you didn’t clue in earlier.

You stay there until your phone buzzes. Hongseok’s done sooner than you expected. He says he’ll meet you at the café where you wanted to get breakfast. You respond, saying you’ll see him there soon.

You didn’t walk that far, so it only takes about 5 minutes of speed walking to get back there. When you spot him waiting outside on his phone, you can’t help but smile.

The two of you head inside, while you tell him what you got up to. You say you found a park bench and wound up doing some work there. He rolls his eyes and tells you you should’ve found something more entertaining to do.

After you’ve got your food and sat down, you ask him about the interview.

“It was okay,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee. “I think they liked me.”

“What do you mean think?”

“It seems like they believed me when I told them how passionate I am about my journey for love.” You smirk at that.

“Are you sure you weren’t speaking from the heart?”

“Of course I was y/n,” he says, jokingly. “How dare you insinuate I’m applying for the wrong reasons.”

You’re still unsure if he’s joking or not. After your earlier revelation, you’re praying he is.

He tells you some more about the interview and the producers. Apparently they asked even more invasive questions about his dating history, like his body count. That makes you cringe.

“If they offer you a spot,” you ask, “which I’m not saying they will, but if they do, would you take it?” You expect him to say yes right away, but he ponders it for a second.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “What do you think I should do?”

You want to tell him to say no, and to stay at home. Preferably so you can spend more time with him, and then maybe he’ll realize he’s into you as well. But you can’t say that, of course.

“I think it could benefit you,” you tell him, honestly. “But it’ll also change your life in multiple different ways, and that’s something you’d really have to think about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” you hesitate, taking a sip of your drink. “Assuming you wound up in a relationship by the end of the season, the odds of it working out aren’t that high,” he laughs at that, but doesn’t disagree. “Anyone you date after that will always see you as that guy who was on Bachelor in Paradise. You’ll probably have a wider range of people to choose from, but a lot of them will be fake too, so, it’s up to you.” You shrug.

“All valid points,” he replies.

“I don’t know if you’re ever planning on settling down,” you admit. “But if you do, it’ll affect that and whoever you wind up with.”

“I would like to settle down someday,” he says quietly. You glance across the booth at him. “What?”

“I’ve never really thought about you in a long term relationship. It doesn’t seem like your type of thing.”

“It could be,” he tells you, “with the right person.”

You just nod, afraid you might say something stupid if you open your mouth.

Once you’re finished eating, the two of you head out to the closest subway station. You have a list of stores you want to visit, and Hongseok happily follows along. He helps you pick out some gifts for your friend’s upcoming birthday and some clothes. He winds up buying some things for himself as well. You joke that he’ll have to buy an entirely new wardrobe if he winds up on national television. He promises to take you swimsuit shopping with him if that happens. That makes you roll your eyes, but you’re blushing the whole time.

You stop for lunch at a random fast food chain, then head to that bakery you told him about the week before. The two of you get some extra goodies for your roommates as well.

Finally, it’s almost 7 o’clock and you decide to go to a decent sit down restaurant for dinner. Earlier you told Hongseok you were in the mood to drink tonight, so he promised to take care of you. He lets you pick where to go, so you choose a restaurant with a rooftop bar. You know he likes to take nice photos for his Instagram feed.

The food is good, and the drinks are even better. You only have a few, but you can feel them getting to you. Hongseok’s extremely entertained by you. Normally you’re not this talkative, but you’re asking more questions and telling him more random things than usual.

You wind up telling him the truth about how you wound up at the park this morning. He’s surprised you lied, but you refuse to tell him why. Instead he just smiles and tells you it’s cute you thought of him. You wind up blushing profusely, hoping he doesn’t notice. The two of you reminisce over some other memories from early on in your friendship. You’re surprised he remembers them as well as you do. Maybe that means something.

When you’re finished eating, you stay a little longer. Hongseok has 2 drinks as well, but he can handle his liquor much better than you. It seems to have no effect on him at all. By the time you leave, it’s almost 9:30.

The second you step out of the restaurant, you’re met with a crowd of people. As you awkwardly navigate yourself around them, you’re separated from Hongseok. Once you’re free, you glance around, afraid you might have to call him. Thankfully, he’s waving at you from a couple metres ahead. You run over to him and immediately interlock your arms.

“C’mon,” he says, pulling you in the direction of the train station. You could have taken the subway back, but Hongseok suggested you walk instead, as it’s not too far. It’s dark out now, but it looks nice with all the street lamps lit up.

“I forgot to ask something about Bachelor in Paradise,” you say as the two of you head down the sidewalk. “Did they mention when they’ll get back to you?”

“In two weeks or so.”

“Will they let you know if you get rejected?” Hongseok smirks at that.

“Do you want me to get rejected?” You know he’s joking, but you can’t bring yourself to smile.

“Yes.” You mumble, mostly to yourself. Hongseok must not hear you.

“I was scared earlier,” he says. “But it might be fun. It’s a free vacation, technically.”

“Yeah, for the cost of your sanity.” That makes him laugh too. You rest your head against his arm.

“Do you think I could actually find someone worthwhile on there?” He asks quietly. “I know the premise is to date multiple people, but maybe I could find something real.”

“Hongseok-” You almost want to punch him. You wish you could yell at him, here on the sidewalk, and tell him off for not realizing there’s been something real right in front of him for the past 4 years, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. “Please.”

“I know, it sounds ridiculous, but you never know.” You two turn the corner and wind up right in front of the train station’s main entrance. “Crazier things have happened.”

You don’t know if it’s because you’re tired, or slightly drunk, or what, but you pull your arm out of his and turn to face him.

“Hongseok-” He glances into your eyes. This time, he notices something serious is happening.

“y/n, what is it?”

“Please don’t go,” you say quietly. He takes a step closer so he can hear you better. “Just… don’t do it.”

“I mean, I haven’t made up my mind yet,” he says, awkwardly. “But I thought you wanted me to do what’s best for me.” You shake your head.

“I was wrong,” you tell him. “I can’t do it.”

“You can’t do what?” You freeze. You wish you hadn’t used that choice of words, but at this point, there’s no turning back now.

“I can’t stay here and watch you on TV, dating other people, kissing other people, being with other people.” You’re not dumb, you know what the fantasy suites on that show are for, and imagining Hongseok in one of them with somebody else makes you simultaneously want to cry and throw up.

“I don’t understand.” You groan. You were hoping that would’ve been enough to get your point across, but of course, your best friend isn’t that smart.

“I’m going to be so jealous.” You hate yourself for even saying it, but it’s true. Hongseok reaches out, taking your hands in his. “My heart can’t handle it.”

“y/n,” he says. “You’ll always be my best friend, regardless of what happens-”

You pull your hands away from his. You don’t understand how he’s not getting it at this point. Granted, you’re not thinking clearly because of the alcohol, but he should be able to read between the lines.

“That’s not what I meant,” you tell him. “I don’t just want to be your best friend.”

“What?” It seems like it’s starting to click now. But just to be sure, you decide to outright say it.

“I’m in love with you.” It comes out louder than you intended, but the second you say it, you know it’s true. Even though the realization only, truly, hit you today, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute, but it doesn’t matter. “Hongseok, I love you.”

“You do?” He asks quietly. You nod, too scared to say anything else. “I don’t know what to say.”

You wait, not sure what to say either. Both of you just stand there, awkwardly staring at each other for a few seconds. Panic starts to set in at that point, maybe you shouldn’t have said anything.

“y/n-” You can tell from the tone of his voice that he’s going to turn you down. You really shouldn’t have said anything at all.

“It’s okay.” You cut him off right away. You don’t want to hear him outright rejecting you, not now. “It’s okay.”

“y/n, I-” You reach over and press a finger to his lips. Maybe he’ll just brush it off as you being drunk, that’s what you’re hoping for anyway. You wish you could take it back, but that would be the next best thing.

“Really,” you force a smile. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.” You glance at the time on your phone, realizing your train will be there any second. You don’t want to think about the awkward train ride home.

“Here,” you tell him, gesturing towards the entrance to the train station. “You can take this one and I’ll wait for the next one, it’s okay.” Maybe if you say it enough times, it’ll be true.

“y/n, I can’t leave you waiting here for an hour on your own.”

“Fine, I’ll take a cab,” you tell him. “Just go, before I make a fool of myself again.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he walks through the doors, so you awkwardly follow him. “Nothing’s changed.”

That hurts more than an actual rejection. You could tell he doesn’t have feelings for you too, but for him to dismiss your feelings like this stings. You can’t stand sitting next to him in dead silence on a 30 minute train ride. You can feel the tears starting to form in your eyes, but you try to ignore them.

Once you’re both on the platform, the train is already there, waiting.

“I’m going to go down there,” you say to him, pointing to the far end of the train. “Don’t follow me.” You hope he can’t tell your voice is about to break.

“Okay,” he replies, right away. That hurts too. You expect him to say something else, but he jumps into the first car.

You wait until he disappears from your sight before you turn and walk all the way to the other end of the train. Once you’re inside, and you’ve found a seat by the window, you take out your phone. You were hoping there would be some kind of text from Hongseok, but there’s one from your roommate instead.

Hongseok called me and said the two of you are out right now and he was going to take you home but something happened ???

You roll your eyes. You really don’t want to get into this right now. But you text your roommate back and say yes, that’s all true.

he asked me to pick you up from the train station, he said you’re arriving at 11 or so, I’ll meet you there

You immediately respond saying that isn’t necessary.

y/n, he said you’ve been drinking…. he’s worried about you getting home by yourself

The second you read that, the tears start to fall. You hate him so much. How could he have no reaction to your confession, but still worry about you like this? It doesn’t make any sense.

You respond and tell your roommate you’ll be there soon.

As the train pulls out of the station, you rest your head on the window and close your eyes. This train ride is so much different than the one this morning. You honestly wish you hadn’t said anything at all. Now you’ve probably lost your best friend forever.

===

Three days go by without hearing anything from Hongseok. At this point, you don’t know what there is to say. You spent a long time wondering if you should be the first to reach out, but you’ve said all you need to. If you’ve ruined your friendship by telling him your feelings, then that’s on you.

You really don’t want to make things any harder for him. You knew he was trying to get on the show, so you really shouldn’t have said anything to begin with. You hope he still makes the right choice for him, regardless of you confessing.

On Saturday afternoon, the doorbell rings. You expect it to be one of your roommates, as they tend to forget their keys often. When you open the door and see Hongseok, you’re stunned.

“Hi y/n,” he says, smiling. Seeing his face makes you want to smile too, but you can’t, considering all you’ve been thinking about these past few days.

“Hi,” you reply. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry,” he laughs. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Why are you here?”

“I came to say sorry.” You frown. “I was thrown off guard so my reaction may have come off the wrong way, and I’m sorry for that.”

“What do you mean the wrong way?” Now Hongseok looks nervous.

“How did you feel?” He asks you. “When you told me you’d take a different train, why did you say that?”

“You were rejecting me,” you say. “I didn’t want to sit in a train with you for 30 minutes trying not to cry.”

“You cried?” Hongseok looks like he’s about to cry himself, just hearing that. “I’m so sorry y/n.”

“It’s fine,” you tell him, shaking your head.

“I withdrew my application.”

“You did what?” You’re shocked.

“I called the producers and told them I wasn’t interested anymore.”

“I hope this isn’t because of me,” you say.

“Of course it’s because of you.”

Hongseok’s looking at you that way again, the same way he did downtown, right before his interview. Maybe he wasn’t rejecting you after all. You suddenly feel really nervous.

“I did some thinking,” he explains. “I did want to be on the show, but it was obviously for all the wrong reasons.” You smile at that.

“So you changed your mind?” He nods.

“I want to stay here, and be with you.” That makes your heart rate jump.

“For the right reasons?” You ask, jokingly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner,” he replies. “y/n, I love you too.”

You practically throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms are tight around your waist as he hugs you back.

“What if I had changed my mind?” You ask, pulling away a little bit. His arms are still around you.

“I knew you wouldn’t,” he rolls his eyes. “And I have a surprise for you, so that would’ve won you back.”

“A surprise?” Hongseok smiles, letting go of you. There’s a small paper bag sitting outside your front door, to the side, that you hadn’t noticed before. He grabs it, and pulls out your favourite cold drink.

“Here you are.” You say thanks and take a sip. “I have food as well, I was thinking we could go to the park.”

“The swings?”

“The way your eyes just lit up is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.” You roll your eyes at that. “But yes, the swings would be great.”

“Let me grab my things,” you tell him, stepping back into your apartment to get your phone and keys.

“This is going to be such a fun first date,” Hongseok says, as you lock the door.

“Date?” Technically, you knew that’s what this is, but it’s still shocking to hear him say it out loud.

“Yes… If that’s okay.”

“You didn’t bring me a date card though.” Hongseok laughs at that.

“This isn’t Bachelor in Paradise!”

“Well, no, but a card still would have been nice,” you say jokingly. The two of you walk down the hall to the elevator.

“Next time.” You nod in agreement. “Can I offer you a kiss instead?”

“I’m sorry what-” Before you can say anything else, Hongseok takes your hand and plants a kiss on the back of it. “Oh.”

“What did you think I meant, y/n?” He asks, a smirk on his face.

“Don’t worry about it.” The two of you step into the elevator and he pushes the button for the bottom floor.

“As your boyfriend, it’s my duty to worry about you.”

“Boyfriend?” You mean to tease him, but you’re more soft than anything. The word sounds so nice to say.

“Well yeah,” Hongseok says. “You love me, I love you, it only makes sense.”

“You should say that more often,” you tell him, as the elevator stops. He follows you as you step out.

“What?” He asks. “That I love you?” You can’t help but blush.

“Yeah,” you reply, absolutely smitten.

As Hongseok opens the door, and you step out into the warm air, he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“I won’t let you forget it.”

[milkybonya]

Unnamed

order #002: large banana milk tea with pudding and lychee jelly for Shinwon, requested by anon

-> Warning: food/drink mentions, mentions of alcohol + a bit suggestive?

-> in the same soulmate universe as my Named fic for Haechan, where "Some are named, some are unnamed. The named have their soulmate's name written somewhere on their body, and the unnamed don't have a soulmate", here you're unnamed.

[a/n]: i know this is a soulmate!au but i wanted to try writing from a perspective where the reader doesn't have a soulmate?? i think it will be fun hehe (but i hope the anon who requested doesn't mind!). i think it will work well with the enemies to lovers concept too :)

You're unnamed, and it sucks. For all your life, you've had to deal with all your loved ones moping about how they can't find who the name on their body belongs to, while you don't even have a name on your body. You're unnamed, like I said :(

They call you dramatic for being sad about it, telling you that you're free to date around and just do whatever... as if that helps. Of course it makes you feel worse.

The worst of them all if your neighbour, Shinwon.

"Good morning, [y/n]. Got a hot date today?" Shinwon asks you as he opens up the door to his flat.

You're dressed nicely today, but no, not for a hot date.

"Got a job interview."

"Oh... of course. I'm sure the unnamed wouldn't be going on dates much, anyway."

"You literally told me last time I must date around a lot because I come home late and have no soulmate so I can do what I want," you spit out, growing angry.

"Whatever. No need to get so mad!" Shinwon says, waving his hands around and finally stepping into his flat.

You huff and stomp off to your job interview.

Ever since Shinwon moved in next to you and found out you were unnamed, he's been getting on your nerves like it's no one's business. He's always teasing you about it, even in front of the other neighbours! He constantly embarrasses you and you hate him for hit.

He even leaves notes on your door, with 'unnamed!' written on it with stupid ' :P ' faces all around. It's so childish, but it still manages to make you so angry.

There's only one mystery, though.

Shinwon has never told you if he's unnamed or not.

You asked him many times, and he's always managed to dodge the question.

He lives alone... but of course, that might not mean anything. Still, you like to think that he's unnamed too, and lets out all his anger on you. The day that you find out for sure, you'll never let him live it down!

After absolutely killing it at your interview despite being nervous and angry because of Shinwon, you head to a café to treat yourself. Of course, Shinwon just has to be there. Working. At that café.

You don't realize it until you're right at the counter, since you're so giddy from the successful interview, still. But as soon as you hear him laugh right into your face, you realize who it is.

"[y/n]? What are you doing here now? Are you stalking me?" he laughs. His coworkers grow increasingly confused until he introduces you.

"This is [y/n]. They're my neighbour, and unnamed. Isn't that sad?" Shinwon tells them, cracking up.

His coworkers nervously nod and continue with what they were doing, but you feel absolutely embarrassed. You don't even know any of these people but now all of them know that you're unnamed? You'll get Shinwon back for this....

"Can I get that drink please?" you ask Shinwon, pointing to the menu. After paying for the drink, you wait on the side for him to prepare it. When he finally hands it to you, your rage is bubbling up so intensely inside that you do something you never thought you would have done.

As you go to pick up the cup, you pretend to 'accidentally' knock it over and spill it all over Shinwon.

"Oops, sorry," you say, innocently.

Shinwon wears a blank look on his face. He pauses, not doing anything until one of his coworkers rushes forward to help clean up.

"I'll get you a new drink!" they tell you.

You start to feel a little nervous as Shinwon's mood has very obviously changed. He greets the new customers quietly and without a trace of a smile on his face.

Why does it even matter, though? He's the one who's always making you feel angry. How about he be the one who feels angry for a change?

After taking your new drink and heading home like a boss, you spend the rest of the day resting at home. You decide to go out for a walk later in the evening, though, and you're met with a surprise when you open your door.

Your favourite plant, that you've placed right outside your door so you can see it everytime you enter and leave the house, and also so it's easy for people to know which flat is yours when they're visiting, has been completely smashed to pieces. The gigantic pot that was holding the little tree that had grown taller than where the doorknob sat on your door is now laying on the ground in a sad state.

It breaks your heart to see it like this, but you know exactly who's done it.

You take a few steps until you're at Shinwon's door. Then, you knock loudly, wondering if he's still home. Sure enough, he opens the door. And when he notices its you, he glares.

"What is it?"

"Why have you gone and broken my plant?"

"What makes you think I did it?" he shoots back, a slight, evil smile dancing on his lips.

"I know you did it, Shinwon."

There's a moment of silence as Shinwon thinks of what to say next, but you don't even let him speak as you continue.

"Shinwon, you embarrassed me, today, just like you always do. If this is because of me spilling my drink on you earlier, then no. We're not even now. We were even after I spilled my drink, because you've been tormenting me for so long now."

"What have I done?" Shinwon asks you, raising his eyebrows.

You sigh.

"It's not even worth telling you. Maybe you should clean up my plant and take some time to think about it yourself," you tell Shinwon before walking away.

He's left in a daze and actually ends up cleaning his mess, wondering why you have such an effect on him so suddenly. They're hot when they're angry, is what he finds himself thinking, but he quickly pushes this thought away.

-

"Shinwon, you jerk!" you yell up into the sky as you sit in your balcony, drinking some alcohol.

Nothing quite hits the spot right now like the drink in your hand as you peer down at the peaceful view below. A light breeze hits you and you close your eyes, feeling like it's caressing your face.

"You called?" Shinwon asks, poking his head out from the balcony next to yours.

You almost drop your drink out of your hand and curse at him. Shinwon just laughs at response.

"I never called you!"

"I clearly just heard you call me a jerk..."

You stick out your tongue at him and continue to drink. Somehow, he climbs over from his balcony onto yours and takes a seat across from you, taking a few sips from your drink. You feel so hazy that you don't even feel surprised.

"What are you doing?" you finally ask him.

"Not letting you drink alone," he murmurs.

"And what's wrong with drinking alone?"

"I do it all the time. It sucks."

Shinwon wears a small smile on his face as he talks to you, different from the mischievious one he'd always give you when talking to you and teasing you.

"And why do you drink alone if it sucks?"

Shinwon hesitates, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm unnamed... we all do that, don't we?"

Your breath hitches in your throat. Unnamed... so you were right.

"Just cause we're unnamed, that doesn't mean we have to drink alone."

"Maybe... but we do it anyway, right?"

You hum in response before drinking some more.

"Why do you tease me so much if you're also unnamed, then?"

"It makes me feel more at ease. You make me feel... more comfortable in my skin."

You laugh a little.

"And what does that mean?"

"Maybe that I like you?" Shinwon giggles.

"What? You're joking, right? It's just cause we're both unnamed."

Shinwon shrugs, looking down.

"Shinwon, you know how it feels to be unnamed, then, right?" you ask after a long pause. "I feel so unloved, so unneeded and unwanted on this stupid planet. It's like I don't have a purpose."

Your eyes start to tear up as the burden and many thoughts you've been carrying begin to spill out.

Shinwon remains silent, probably unsure of what to say or do. Instead, he says something unexpected.

"Can I kiss you?"

You cock your head at him, confused. Why is your rude neighbour asking if he can kiss you when you're literally about to cry?

Oh, well. This will be your first kiss.. Finally, you're kissing someone...

When your lips meet, Shinwon's feel so soft and warm against yours. You don't want to pull away, and it all makes sense now. You don't feel so alone anymore.

-

The next day day, you wake up to flowers at your doorstep, along with some hangover soup. There's a note on top:

feel better, [y/n]! i'm sure the hangover must be bad... i would come to your door in person, but i thought you may be too embarrassed to see me.

- jerk Shinwon

You smile as you read the way he ended the note. This all feels very weird to you... You used to hate your neighbour, but after tasting his lips last night, hearing him say he doesn't want you to drink alone and seeing what he's left for you now, you're second-guessing how you feel about him.

You knock on his door, hoping he's still home. To your surprise, he opens the door, his hair messy and his eyes puffy.

"[y/n]? How are you feeling?" he asks, looking a little frazzled.

"Me? Better than you, it seems. I'm about to head out to work!" you say, pointing to your formal wear.

"Oh... won't be needing the soup, then?"

"No, I need it! I haven't had breakfast."

Shinwon smiles, looking down.

"I'm glad," he says.

"Well, Shinwon. Wanna go on a coffee date or something today?" you ask him, your heart pounding as your veins overflow with sudden courage.

Shinwon laughs slightly, the corners of his eyes creasing.

"That sounds nice."

[yuthoe]

Day 31: Against the Rules (ONEUS: LEEDO)

HAPPY LAST DAY OF MTM!!! today's prompt from the ever beloved list is:

Day 31: Friends to Lovers

this one is baaad bad hahahaha idk what i was on when i decided on the premise for this, considering i'd also done the shinwon one literally two days ago. but by the time i realized, it was already 9:30pm and i was running out of time lol

re: the prompts i missed—i'm gonna leave Day 1 for last, cuz i want to end it with Friends to Lovers as well, but the rest of the fics will come out jumbled. that's 19 fics spaced throughout the month of june, which is pretty doable. i was able to write more fics this month than i estimated, so i'm really proud of myself for that. please look forward to the rest of my fills!

PAIRING: LEEDO x reader. GENRE: fic, fluff, mild angst (cuz secret relationship wooo), office!AU. WARNINGS: none. WORD COUNT: 952.

---

Three knocks on your desk makes you look up from the stapled pile of data you’re reviewing. Geonhak is smiling softly at you, thin-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, looking all handsome and refreshed like he hasn’t been cooped up in the conference room having meetings all day.

“Hey,” you whisper, setting down the file and your highlighter and crossing your arms on the desk.

“Hey,” he replies, half-sitting on the edge of your table. “You ready to go?”

You blink in surprise and glance at the clock at the corner of your computer screen. “The hell, it’s already 5?”

Geonhak’s deep chuckle sends shivers deep in your chest. “I know right? There was so much to do today, I’m so ready for the weekend.”

“I’m already packing my bag,” you say, shutting off the computer—but not before saving the open Word and Excel windows—and tidying up. The papers strewn across your desk are swiftly put into neat piles, and you make sure to organize them in a way you’d still remember when Monday comes around again.

“Take your time,” Geonhak says, shifting to make himself comfortable on your table. “There’s still a lot of people anyway; the elevators are gonna be full if we go now.”

“True,” you say, wagging a finger at him and double checking the papers on your desk, the keys in your bag, and the flash drive containing reports for review.

Geonhak catches you sliding it into a pocket in your bag and says, “Hey! Hey, no, you aren’t taking work home this weekend.” He holds out his hand and curls his fingers, waiting for you to give him the USB.

You sigh, endeared more than anything. “But I have a whole backlog of minutes to revise that you made.”

Your coworker scoffs. “The departments won’t mind if I hand in the minutes late—they never read them anyway.” He curls his fingers again. “Now give it. You’re gonna spend the weekend relaxing with me.”

A blush creeps up your cheeks at his admission, and you look around the near empty office in case someone heard. “Don’t say it so loud,” you say, slapping him lightly on the arm. “I don’t want either of us to lose our jobs, you know.”

“Sorry,” he whispers, voice so deep it comes out barely audible. “I just don’t want you overworking. Remember that one time you took way too many overtime days and ended up sick with a fever for three days?” He gives the room a glance and, finding it empty of people save for yourselves, rests a warm hand on top of yours. “Take the weekend off, babe?”

The heat in your face persists—you’re still not used to the pet name Geonhak quickly gave you once you got together. It’s only been a few months, after all. And though your working relationship quickly developed into friendship—realizing you went to the same college and sharing an enjoyment for mobile games can do that to people—and naturally into a romantic relationship, you’re still trying to be careful.

The company doesn’t allow that kind of thing, and if HR finds out there’s a danger of one or both of you getting fired. That’s why you limit your contact with each other during work hours and stay back at the office a bit after hours so he can drive you home or you can have dinner together.

You sigh. “Fine, fine,” you concede, dropping the eraser-shaped USB in his palm. Geonhak in turn drops it into your pen holder, an old blue mug from a friend that you accidentally broke the handle off of. An amused smile creeps onto your face. “You know I can just easily take it from that pen holder again, right?”

He returns your smile. “I know,” he says, raising a hand and brushing his fingertips across your cheekbone. “But I trust you not to.” Geonhak hesitates a moment before dropping a kiss to your crown. You savor the feeling of his plush lips in your hair, big palm cradling your jaw, subtle cologne overtaking your senses.

He pulls away, and you already miss him. “You ready to go?” he asks again.

You nod this time, taking your bag and brushing down your slacks, before rounding the table and resting a hand on your boyfriend’s shoulder. You give him a swift peck on the cheek and watch his eyes widen in surprise.

“Let’s go,” you say, pulling him up. “Let’s grab some drive-thru before heading over to your place, yeah?”

Geonhak nods, “Yeah, sounds good… Taco Bell?—Oh yeah, the live stream for Genshin is tonight, dude we gotta go.” He snatches your hand and speeds off towards the door.

“What?” you say, fumbling to catch up. You quickly turn off the lights and lock the door before speed-walking to the elevators. “Dude, you should have said so earlier.”

“Hey,” he protests, jabbing the down button of the elevator. “I had to put you off from working this weekend, and I succeeded, didn’t I? I need some time to work my magic, babe.”

You scoff, a big grin on your face as the elevator dings open. “Okay, fine, you did what you had to, now come ooon!” You push him into the elevator, Geonhak’s laughter echoing in the enclosed space. “I don’t wanna miss it!”

He’s still laughing when he presses the button for the lobby, and your butterflies erupt in your stomach. You can never get over how starkly different and adorable his laugh is from his normal speaking voice.

You watch the overhead monitor blink the floor numbers, and intertwine your fingers, content with this little big secret, content to be keeping it with a dear friend.

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

You'll be the death of me || Jinho

Request: Writing fic for Pentagon Jinho with the prompts #3 “How oblivious can you be?” and 4# “this is the 3rd try at confessing.” (*ﾉ∀`*) . if ur free and all. thank you!

~of course! Sorry this took me so long but I got it done now finally, I put a lot of effort in it which is why it took so long💓

Prompts: #3 "how oblivious can you be?" & #4 "this is the 3rd try at confessing"

Synposis: Going to the dorms to hangout with ptg will be normal like usual, right?

Pairing: Jinho x reader

Warnings: none just fluff

Gif credits to owner

Jinho had tried 2 different times already to confess to you, once at the mall.

"y/n I have something to tell you." He said as his hands started to get clamy.

"what would that be?" You said with a smile leaving him breathless, he looked at you and was really to pour his heart out to you but then you saw a old friend of yours that you got distracted by so he decided to save it for another time. The second time it went south since you where both hanging out at the park, he started to gain courage and took you by the hand and asked,

"will you go out with me?" He squeezed your hand heat running to his cheeks. You smiled and giggled.

"where to? Whe're already at the park where would we go?" You ask obviously oblivious to what he act asked and so he settled on talking you to the ice cream parlor down the street and questioned if he'd ever gain the courage again. This time will be different though, he had planned it out perfectly all he has to do is gain the confidence and tell you tonight when you come to the dorms to hang with him and the others. He confided in the members a lot if he should do it and all of them said yes. (I mean that was because all of them had a good feeling you liked him back but that's besides the point.) Him and the members got the house ready for your arrival in 30 minutes. He hyped himself up 3rd time, deciding he'll do it at the end of the night when you walk home so if it goes wrong you'll both be able to leave the situation quick.

Fast forward to you getting to the dorms, you where greeted by a very loud and happy Wooseok, he pulled you into a big bear hug which made you smile. You then walked through the door way and said hello to Yeoone and had a small conversation since everyone was choosing what game to play, the way you smiled at Yeoone made Jinho's heart burst he would love to make you smile like that and he knows he could if he just had a little more courage. Jinho soon walked up and joined both of you two in a conversation. While you all talked the others decided on Mario Kart to play and you could quickly tell by them screaming. Yuto and Wooseok made a alliance and Hui was just loosing it, you couldn't stop laughing at how funny it was. The night kept going and everything played more games, no one checking the time enough to realize it was already 11 PM. Everyone was talking and a lot of them where whispering to Jinho and him hitting them which got you very confused, you checked the time and it hit you that it was 11 at night.

"guys I made a mistake,,," you said with nervousness in your voice causing panic to ensue throughout the boys.

"oh no, what's wrong?"

"is everything okay?"

"what mistake?"

"what's going on?" All of them talked over eachother in concern not letting you finish yourself.

"it's nothing too bad don't worry, Its just 11 at night I don't think it's safe for me to walk home,," you said with concern still in your voice.

"stay the night. You can leave tomorrow when it's bright out and safe, you can sleep on the couch or one of us can volunteer our bed." Hui said immediately, everyone agreeing.

"why not Jinho's room, he'd probably give it gladly" Hongseok said with a joking tone.

"oh yeah definitely" Kino said elbowing Jinho, you where confused but they all kept joking on it.

"No. Sleep on my bed I'll sleep on the floor or the couch don't worry." Jinho said smiling.

"No you really don't have too! It's fine I can sleep on the couch." You said putting your hand on his shoulder.

"no-no my bed is way more comfy than the couch and it's your first time sleeping at our dorm I think we all agree we want you to be the most comfortable."

"okay okay, but please make sure you're sleeping right since couches aren't always the best,," you said since you knew the amount you'd try to fight it the difference wouldn't matter because Jinho would stick to his thought and not let go of it. You said goodnight to the rest of the members and Jinho lead you to his room, he made his bed and grabbed a spare blanket and started walking out the door but you realized you didn't have a change in clothes.

"Uh,, Jinho" you said very quietly he almost didn't hear it. He turned around and looked at you wanting you to continue your words.

"can I borrow a shirt? This one isn't that comfortable to sleep in,," you said blushing incredibly, causing his ears to go red.

"uh,, yeah uh, right over there in that dresser grab whatever shirt you want" he said, walking out the door starting to set up the couch to sleep on. You changed into his shirt and had butterflies hit your stomach no matter the amount you try to compress your feelings for Jinho, you laid in in Jinho's bed feeling a little weird but you turned to the wall and closed your eyes. Jinho realized he didn't have a pillow to sleep on so he went back to his room, but realized you had called asleep when he opened the door. Shinwon walked up to Jinho at the door way.

"so when are you gonna confess to y/n?"

"I am going to try for tomorrow before y/n leaves, I was going to ask y/n when leaving to walk home so if it went bad but I got sweaty at the hands when choosing what bed to sleep in was decided." Jinho and Shinwon continued to talk about the matter at the door way, not realizing you where awake by you being turned to the wall but your head was spinning.

"well good luck tomorrow" Shinwon said patting him on the shoulder and heading to his room. Jinho walked into the room to sneak out a pillow from the bed, he smiled looking at you.

"gosh you'll be the death of me y/n" he said with a little laugh at the end.

"do you really like me?" You said not facing him yet, causing him to freeze. The alarm in his face was obvious but you couldn't see it.

"oh wow,, you heard that?,,, Well no point in lying especially since I was going to get the courage for this tomorrow, yes I like you I have tried asking your out 2 times already but this is the 3rd time now." He said with a anxious laugh

"oh my God,, 3 trys?? When??" You'd said turning to him.

"well the most notable was at the park when I asked if your wanted to go out with me and you thought I meant to a different location." He said laughing once more

"oh my god,,, I really thought you where just asking if I wanted to go to the ice cream parlor" you said hitting yourself in the head, Jinho quickly grabbed your arm and took your hand in his.

"it's fine but ugh how oblivious can you be?" He said, squeezing your hand realizing what he had to say.

"okay this is the 3rd try at confessing so how do you feel? Do I have a chance?" He said nervousness in his voice.

"Absolutely, I have liked you for so long and compressed those feelings for so long,,, want to come into the bed and sleep? We can cuddle" you said laughing, tugging him to lay down next to you as he smiled.

"I'll take that offer gladly" he said wrapping his arms around your waist.

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Snow Fight

Summary: It’ll be your first Christmas in a new town. You’ve had no real success in making friends with anyone so far, even with the effort you’ve been putting into it. But it wasn’t until snowballs started raining down upon you that you garner some. 

Oneshot

Fluff, Strangers to ?? au

Word Count: 1,988

Shinwon X Reader

[Features! The rest of OT10]

Not Requested

Bonus Christmas Eve fic

[A/n: Ever since you told me that Christmas is celebrated on the Holy Evening, the 24th in your country. I just had to finish and publish this for you today, @jinkoh - I hope you enjoy it, even if you’ve already seen the draft. Have a wonderful evening! 🥺💖 Alternatively titled: New Friends]

------

You were new to town and getting used to everything, trying to join in on events and make new friends. But today, your goal was to explore more of this place. You’re walking through the town square. When you hear someone scream, “Snowball fight!” You gasped and tried to duck and cover, but the rain of snowballs was already upon you. You quickly build a little snow shield and make some snowballs. You throw some at the other people. When someone slides beside you and under your snow shield. He asks, “Teammates?” As his shoulder is hit by a snowball, “Yeah!” You quickly agree and build the snow shield out a little wider. 

He has a great swing, so you begin making the snowballs solely so he can throw them at them. He is quick, grabbing one and throwing it before ducking back down to prevent getting hit. You're both making an impact on your opponents. You can hear their yells every time your teammate hits them. He looks at you and goes, “I'm going to make a break for it and cover them in snowballs.” You both look at each other in determination. And you tell him, “Go for it!” As he goes for it, you shout, “I’ll cover you!” He takes the snowballs in his arms and rushes at them. You do your best to make and throw snowballs at the blurry enemies. 

He returns to the snow fort, drenched in snowflakes, and you laugh, which makes him laugh too. He slides beside you again to be covered by the shield. You make a few snowballs before joining in and throwing them at your more visible enemies. He makes snowball pyramids supplying you with all the snow he can get his hands on as you pelt them. As you both get into the groove of it again, someone on the other side calls, "Truce!" You both smirk at each other before agreeing to a truce, knowing you've won. He stands up, and you follow, and he says, “We make a great team!” You laugh, and he puts his mitt-covered hand out, “I’m Shinwon.” You smile and put your gloved hand in his, “I’m (Y/n).” You both shake, “You want to meet the menaces who started the snowball fight?” You agree, and on your way to the 'menaces', you tell him that you’re new to town and that this is the most fun you’ve had since moving in. He couldn’t help but grin, “I hope to continue to make living here fun for you.” You blush, surely from the cold wind. 

He introduces you to his friends who started the snowball fight. “Everyone, this is (Y/n). They’re new to town. Let’s show them around!” Hyunggu goes, “Oh, we should take them to our pizza joint.” Everyone agrees and looks at you, hoping you’ll approve, and you do. They lead the way, and Shinwon stays back with you. When they talk amongst themselves, they actively include you in their conversations. They turn the corner, and Shinwon tells you, “It’s just like a few more buildings down from the corner, but this place has the best pizza.” You smile, “Really?” He nods, “Yeah, we started going here in high school when they first opened. And we haven’t gone back to any chain pizza places since.” You nod, and Jinho pitches into the conversation, “Yeah, they make everything fresh and get all the ingredients at the market.” 

Hyunggu cheers, “We’re here!” And the door chimes as Hoetaek opens it, “After you kids.” You whisper, “Is everyone younger than him?” Jinho shakes his head, “All but me.” You laugh and walk in; the scent of tomato sauce, grease, and fresh herbs hitting you all at once. You realize why they love it with the checkered floors and general ambiance. It was perfect. You can’t see through the nine men ahead of you but assume they’re leading you to their table. Shinwon pats the chair next to him and squints at Hyunggu, who nearly sits down in it. He puts his hands up and lets you slide into the seat. You laugh, and Hyunggu sits beside you instead. You take a minute to put the rest of the names to their faces before looking over the menu. 

After another minute, the waiter comes over. And goes, “Why do you guys always come on my shift?” Hoetaek smirks, “Because we love you.” You read his name tag, “Hyojong.” And Shinwon tells you softly, “When he’s not working, he’s sitting here with us.” You nod, and the waiter catches you sitting in the middle, “Oh? Who’s this?” You smile, “I’m (Y/n). I got caught in their snowball fight.” Hyojong laughs, “Really?” You nod, and Shinwon points to you two, “We won.” He blinks, “The eight of you lost to two?” Changgu looks down and groans, “Don’t remind us.” Yanan sighs, “They pelted us.” Shinwon and you chuckle, and Hyojong shakes his head before looking back at you, “Alright, I know what these geezers want. What would you like?” You smile and tell him, and he nods, “I’ll be back in twenty?” You all agree, and Hoetaek asks, “When’s your break?” He looks over at the clock, “Whenever I want it… When I come back, I’ll pull up a chair. It’s a slow day.” They all agree, and he leaves, and everyone starts conversing.

Whenever you got shy and didn’t know what to say, Shinwon would ask you small questions like, “What’s your favorite vegetable?” And you laughed as you told him, and he smiled, “I love potatoes.” You grin, and he makes sure that whenever you clam up, he assures you that you are welcome to have input. It made you feel secure in such a big group. And when he isn’t looking, you take in all his features, finding him more attractive by the minute. While the rest of them were handsome and funny as well. No one held a candle to his light.

Twenty minutes later, Hyojong pops back out, and Yuto cheers, “Pizza!” Which makes you all cheer for it. Hyojong pulls up a chair and sits at the end of the table. Shinwon holds out his glass of pop, “To new friends!” You smile, and everyone cheers, “To new friends!” as you clink your glasses together before taking a sip of pop. You dig in, and Hongseok goes, “Parmesan pass down?” Jinho grabs it and hands it over to Shinwon, who hands it to you, and you pass it across to Wooseok, who passes it to Hongseok, who passes it around the table. It makes its way back to you again, and you use it before passing it to Shinwon again. 

Even as everyone eats, it’s still loud, everyone chatting away freely, and you can’t help but feel at home. As you eat and talk, you find your place and talk more freely with them. You didn’t see it, but Shinwon smiled proudly as you happily conversed with his friends. When he realized you were standing in the line of snowball fire, he swooped in, so you weren’t facing the snow devils alone. But as you worked together to win against them, he couldn’t help but feel his heartbeat faster. And the fact that you get along with his friends so well, he knew his heart had the right idea. 

As you finish eating, you all split the payments, “Don’t you dare tip me, you weirdos.” And you can see their smirks as they place the money on the table and rush out. Hoetaek wiggles his fingers at him, and Wooseok sticks out his tongue, “Oh well! Already did!” He shakes his head at them, and you both tell each other it was nice meeting the other. And you all head outside of the building. While everyone is talking outside the building, Yuto tells you, “They’re the kindest bunch, but they’re the worst. But I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean soon enough.” You grin, “I hope so.” 

You all laugh as you see Hyunggu visibly shiver, and Hoetaek scolds, “You should have worn a warmer coat!” As he shakes his head at him, Hyunggu pouts, “I dress for the occasion, not for the weather!” You all laugh, and Yanan asks, “You’ll hang out with us again, right?” You smile, “Yeah.” And everyone lets out a little cheer. And you smile as you let out a small “Yay!” And they grin, and Jinho goes, after a beat of silence, “I’d love to stand outside in the cold with you guys, but I do have to get home.” The others agree with his notion, and they all start parting and telling you that it was nice to meet you. 

As Hyunggu speeds home, you ask, “I thought he was wearing a warm coat?” Shinwon says, “No, I think he just met up with the other side when the snowball fight was coming to an end.” You nod, “Oh, that makes sense.” Shinwon waits for the last of them to clear the turn before he asks, “You want to get hot cocoa with me?” You smile, “I’d love to.” He smiles and walks you across the street to the cafe one building up the road. He opens the door for you and follows you up to the counter. He goes, “Two hot cocoas, please.” Before you can pay for yours, he’s already purchased both. “Don’t worry, I work here. I get them for like a dollar each.” You shake your head, still feeling dizzy from the whole ordeal. It all happened so fast. And his glimmering smile was the cherry on top. Something you didn’t know you needed to see before. But now that you've seen it, you can't get enough of it.

You wait for your hot cocoa in another line when he asks, “So, where do you live around here?” You smile and tell him the apartment building, “I do too!” You blink, “Really?” He nods, “Room 1211.” You gasp, “No way! I live on the other side of the hall, in 1210!”  He gasps, “It is a small world, after all.” You laugh, “It is.” That’s when both of your hot cocoas are served, “Would you mind if we walk home together?” You shake your head, “No, I’d love to walk home with you.” He smiles, and you both walk to your apartment building, learning more about each other as you do, like how he likes to play the guitar and sometimes the piano. You make mental notes in your head of what he says, and he attentively listens to everything you tell him. 

As you take your last sip of hot cocoa outside your apartment building, you dump your paper cups in the trash can. When you make it up to your floor level, you both slowly walk to your apartment, not wanting the day to end. When you reach your door, you have to hold back your pout. You slowly put your hand into your pocket and find your keys. You sigh, “I guess this is where we part?” He hums, “Yeah…” With all the bravery you could muster up, you ask, “Do you want to go out with me sometime again?” He smiles, “I’d love to.” He looks at his phone, “Are you free tomorrow?” He puts it away as you nod. And he says, “Let’s go ice skating.” You smile, think about your schedule, and ask, “Does 5 pm work for you?” He agrees, “I’ll wait for you outside your door.” You smile and unlock your door, “It’s a date.” And he grins, agreeing, “It’s a date.” You enter your apartment and hold back the scream but slide against the door excitedly. You hear his little cheer outside and can't stop smiling. Thinking to yourself, tomorrow and every following day in this new town will be a new adventure and make it worth moving here. 

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

Okay so I just got another fic idea (as the 10 other ideas I have sit in my drafts 🙃) but I don't know who I wanna write it for. I've narrowed it down to 2 because I realized I haven't written a lot for pentagon which is a shame cause I love them 😔

The fic is gonna be called Extra Credit and it's gonna be a student/teacher roleplay scenario (they're a couple roleplaying, not actual student/teacher) where he (wearing a school girl outfit cause obviously) would go to his 'teacher' looking for a way to pass the final they have in a few days cause he's worried he'll fail, so you tell him you'll let him pass if he can get on his knees for you and prove he deserves a good grade (it'll be him sucking your strap)

I can't decide if I want to write it for Hongseok (cause @baa-nana and I talked about hongseok in a skirt and now I can't get it out of my head 😔) or Shinwon (cause there is very little sub!content for him and he was honestly the first Ptg member to come to mind for this scenario lmao)

You can leave asks or reblog with which one you'd want me to do and I'll close and count up votes somewhere between Wednesday-Friday. I will be eagerly awaiting your choices 😌

[jasonbehrs]

something that i already know

by airauralintensity (aka me, jasonbehrs!)

As soon as Siwon says it, he can see the way so much clicks into place in Shindong’s astute, masterful, beautiful mind… But not even Shindong can draw the correct conclusion when he isn’t provided with every relevant fact. If he could, they would have cleared the air so long ago.

fandom: kpop, super junior characters: siwon, shindong, eunhyuk ships: shinwon, sihyuk genres: friendship, angst, romance themes: slice of life, one-sided crush, angst with a happy ending setting: high school into college; metro seoul area, south korea word count: 12.7k

read it below or on ffnet, aff, wattpad

A/N (05/01/2021): Hi, ELF! This is my first Super Junior fanfic :) Title comes from the Backstreet Boys song of the same name; cover image is made by me; and if you recognise anything in the fic, that means I don't own it. Happy reading!

~~~

It's never easy being the new kid in school, and Donghee is no exception. He has no friends; he has to play a lot of catch-up in the first few weeks because where his old teachers left off doesn't match up to where his new teachers are picking up; and he has to spend precious emotional energy acclimating to the culture and social politics.

Add in the fact that it's senior year, and he's at the most elite academy in Gyeonggi on a scholarship—he's seen this K-drama before. He knows how it ends.

"Hey! You're the new kid, Shin Donghee, right? Can I sit here?"

Admittedly, Tall, Bright, and Handsome doesn't usually come up to bully the new kid with such a charming smile on his face in the script, but Donghee still knows his role.

"Yeah, got it. Sorry. Didn't know this was your seat," he mumbles as he hurriedly packs up his lunch and books. He's not trying to make waves on his first day, thank you very much.

"No, no," T.B.H. puts out his hand to stop him from putting his planner away, and Donghee is shocked into stillness from the glaringly off-script performance that the other is putting on. "I meant, like, can I sit with you? I didn't know if you wanted to sit alone or not; but if you wanted the option for company, here I am."

Another winsome smile graces the other's face, and Donghee's eyes narrow. "Are you sure you wanna sit with the scholarship kid?" he asks sardonically. He isn't trying to get away anymore, but he's still not convinced he's welcome here.

Tall, Bright, and Handsome's light dims just a bit, but his pout is still effortlessly charming. It's almost offensive. "Come on. We're not like that here."

Donghee looks no further than just above the other's shoulder and sees a group of girls whispering and giggling in their direction. He looks back at the well-meaning but clueless hero of the story and raises an unimpressed eyebrow. T.B.H. looks over his shoulder to see what he saw, and he at least has the grace to be embarrassed when he turns back around.

Donghee is prepared to give a half-conciliatory, half-I told you so parting glance, but the other student keeps talking. "I'll admit, that's not a good look for us," he says with a grimace, "but would you believe me if I said they were acting like that because of me and not you?"

Considering he's been calling the guy 'Tall, Bright, and Handsome' in his head this whole time, yeah, he could believe it.

Hoping against hope that he isn't about to regret this, Donghee sits back down at the lunch table. T.B.H.'s smile is so bright, Donghee thinks he saw one of the guy's front teeth actually sparkle. "I'm Choi Siwon," he introduces as he extends his hand. Donghee shakes it and wryly thinks to himself that of course T.B.H.'s real name means 'cool.'

~~~

To nobody's surprise, Siwon is part of the popular crowd, which Donghee determines by the look on everyone's faces when Siwon invites him to sit with his friends at lunch the next day. The guys weren't exactly welcoming, but they were polite. He doesn't know whether maybe Siwon said something to them or not about being nice to the new kid; but honestly, he'll take it. He's still not entirely convinced that this is the setup for some sort of 'Carrie' situation or something. It's senior year after all, so prom is coming up.

It isn't until Siwon invites them all over to study together that things shift.

"Bro, what the fuck," Kangin says out of the blue, causing everyone to look up and causing Donghee to drop the pencil he was playing with. Kangin is staring at him—more specifically, his hand—and everyone's attention turns to him instead.

"Uh," he intones, not sure what is happening here and suddenly feeling the urge to look up.

"Do that again," Kangin demands, gesturing at Donghee's hand. His fingers twitch involuntarily at the command, but he genuinely has no clue what he's meant to do. He looks to Siwon with a clear plea for help on his face.

"Youngwoon, what gives?" Siwon asks, using Kangin's real name to snap him out of whatever is captivating the varsity baseball captain.

"Donghee was legit balancing a fucking pencil on his finger!" Kangin exclaims while gesturing helplessly at Donghee's hand.

Donghee understands immediately. "Ah, sorry. I forgot I did that." Without further prompting, he balances his pencil on its eraser at the tip of his middle finger. He moves his hand side to side for fun, showing off how the graphite tip stays roughly at the same point in the air all the while. With a flick of his finger, he launches the pencil up and catches it in mid-air, smoothly transitioning to end with a bow in his seat with the same gesture.

He looks up to find four slack-jawed teenage boys, and he brags, "I can do that with basically anything I can lift."

All pretenses of studying are summarily discarded in favour of testing this theory. Donghee easily balances notebooks, folding chairs, and even a curtain pole (dismantled from the window by an excited Heechul and reinstalled by an amused Siwon).

Once the others are thoroughly entertained, they don't want to go back to studying. Alas, they are at Siwon's house; as rich as he is, he doesn't have any convenient distractions (which Donghee surmises is the point of going to Siwon's to study in the first place). Kibum's the one to recommend just going to the local convenience store and walking around for no reason, which feels a lot like acceptance to Donghee.

In fact, it isn't long until he finds himself hanging out with some of the guys sans Siwon.

Kibum hands Donghee part of his deck for some trading card game he's never even heard of before, much more played; but after two rounds and a gradual learning of the rules, Donghee is now locked into a 1v1 match against Kibum, having just killed Heechul's last creature card.

"You sure your name's Shin Donghee and not Hee Shindong?" Heechul mutters as he throws his cards on the table. "Like, what can't you do?"

Donghee isn't paying him any attention then, instead supremely focused on using his impromptu green-black strategy to beat Kibum with his own deck.

So he's surprised when the next day Heechul slaps his back and says, "Yah! Shindong! I've been calling you for like five minutes!" as he falls into step with Donghee on his way to school. "Run me through the lymphatic system one more time." Donghee obligingly pulls out his notebook and helps his friend cram for their biology quiz that day, but his mind is somewhere else.

He's never had a nickname before, and he likes it.

~~~

Siwon is nothing like what he expects.

He spends most of his free time with the guys now, and he keeps coming back to that realisation.

Siwon is touchy. Like, more affectionate than a dog or a baby could be—combined. Kibum may be the youngest, but Siwon is the baby, and no one seems to mind treating him as such. Shindong is a man who likes his personal space, but Siwon's touches are so genuinely friendly and joyful that he finds himself readily inviting them into his bubble.

Siwon is expressive. Casual observers would never notice more than his charming smile and runway-ready neutral gaze, but he and the guys know better than that. Siwon talks with his whole body. His amusement is measured in congratulatory high-fives, and his stress in head shakes and tapping fingers. Shindong can always tell what he's thinking and feeling.

Siwon is down-to-earth. He's the richest in their friend group by a whole social class, but nothing about him plays on Shindong's financial insecurities. In fact, the first time Shindong hosted his friends over, the power went out, and Siwon was the only one who happened to recognise the strategically placed candles and matches around the living room. He wordlessly helped Shindong light them back up and suggested they take advantage of the dark to tell scary stories. Shindong will always be grateful for that.

Siwon is single. Sure, he doesn't give off playboy vibes, but he is certainly the poster child for monogamy. Shindong would not have been surprised to meet a loving, long-term girlfriend who is just as angelic as Siwon is and somehow twice as gorgeous, but no such person exists. Shindong has seen girls confess to Siwon literally once a day since they became friends (the record for a single day is currently four confessions), but Siwon graciously yet firmly denies them all.

Siwon is his best friend. It starts with study sessions, which turn into de-stress movie nights, which turn into sleepovers—and before he knows it, people from teachers to strangers start considering them a package deal. Shindong doesn't mind, of course. Siwon is less intense when he's not around the others, more introspective and goals-oriented—and Shindong can relate. It's great to have a friend who gets both sides of him and around whom he can comfortably show both sides. He didn't have one at his old school, but he's glad he has someone now.

~~~

"Want the rest of my pork?" Kibum offers Shindong at lunch. "Nah, I don't believe in cannibalism," Shindong says, even as he begins transferring the meat over to his own lunch tray.

The table is silent for a moment, but luckily he places his tray down just as Kangin decides to lay an open-palm slap to his back, laughing uproariously. Heechul is legitimately choking on his own food, and Kibum gives him a nod with a grin to acknowledge the joke.

Shindong feels pretty pleased with himself—he just knew that joke would land—and he glances over at Siwon to see the other's reaction. To his surprise, Siwon is staring at the table with a furrowed brow instead. Shindong frowns but lets it go. It's too bad Siwon was too busy thinking to hear his joke.

After lunch, the two of them only have the last class of the day together, and he notices Siwon still seems to be in a sour mood. Shindong racks his brain trying to remember if Siwon had a test he was worried about today. Maybe he feels like he failed?

"Hey, man," he calls out to Siwon after the final bell rings. "Wanna get some gyoza? On me."

Siwon's face brightens for the first time since lunch, and Shindong knows he made the right call; but in the time it takes for them to head to the Japanese place near his house and settle into a booth, Siwon's mood is dark again.

The table is quiet as Siwon plays with his food, making no move to eat any. Shindong stuffs two fried shrimp pieces in his mouth as casually as possible. Don't ask him why, but he thinks talking with his mouth full will help break the ice. "Hey, you good? You've been in a mood all day."

Siwon briefly meets Shindong's carefully neutral stare then averts his eyes to the table. "I don't like it when you do that," he mutters.

Shindong freezes with the next set of two gyoza halfway to his mouth. "Eat? Sorry man, I'm very diligent about my eat-anything-in-sight diet. If I stopped being fat, the girls at school would be all over me instead of you, which would disturb the balance of our friendship." He ends with a bite of dumpling and a cheeky grin.

"No, that! The self-deprecating jokes about your size!"

They both freeze. Siwon did not mean to blurt it out like that.

He deflates a little in his seat in embarrassment. "I don't like them. They make me sad," he continues in a much quieter tone.

Shindong did not see this coming and, frankly, has no idea how to react. "Um, you want me to stop being fat?"

"No, I want you to stop drawing attention to it. It's like you have to make a mean joke about your size first before anyone else can. No one in the group would ever be mean to you about it; I wouldn't let them," Siwon states adamantly. He means every word. The second one of the others crosses a line, he wouldn't hesitate to make sure they never, ever did it again.

The words are out before Shindong fully thinks about them. "You can say the word 'fat,' Siwon. Newsflash, I am fat. I'm as fat as you are tall. It's just something about me. I won't hesitate to make a fat joke any sooner than Heechul would hesitate to make a bi joke." His frustration surprises even himself, so he takes a sip from his water to calm down.

Siwon takes that as his cue to plead his case, and pleading he is. "It doesn't bother you that that's the part of yourself you decide to play up for the jokes? You're a great dancer, and you're quick on your feet—literally and figuratively! You'd be so great at, like, slapstick or something!" Shindong snorts, but Siwon forges on. "I just don't like seeing my friends laugh at you for… for being fat when you're so much more than that."

Shindong doesn't say anything, just lowers his head, and Siwon sighs. "You want to make a fat joke, don't you." "AND I'M SO MUCH ALREADY—okay. I'm done, I'm done."

Siwon withers and lets his head drop to his arms on the table. Shindong laughs, all tension dissipated. "So, this is clearly bothering you a lot," he needlessly observes. Siwon nods his head without lifting it up, and Shindong takes pity on him. "Alright, I'll try to tone it down. Or maybe I'll do like you said and just sprinkle in other kinds of jokes. No one likes a one-trick pony anyway."

Siwon peeks up through his eyelashes, and Shindong nods faux-sagely. "And maybe in the future when I'm rich and can afford therapy, I'll find out you're right and my brand of humour was simply a defense mechanism for some deeply internalised fatphobia all along. Then you could say, 'I told you so.'"

Siwon shakes his head resolutely. "That's not something I want to be right about."

Shindong shrugs in a 'suit yourself' manner and goes back to eating, and Siwon follows suit.

After a stretch of companionable silence, Siwon speaks up again. "I knew you're fat—I know it—but I don't think I understood that being fat was a part of you. Thank you for giving me a chance to understand you better. I thought I was intervening in something unhealthy, but I see now that that wasn't as righteous as I thought it was." He pauses then and doesn't continue until Shindong looks up to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry if I came off as insensitive or, worse, embarrassed. You don't embarrass me, Donghee."

Shindong looks back down at his food, unsure of what the emotion is in Siwon's voice as the other said his real name. "I know, but thank you."

~~~

Shindong is everything he didn't know he needs.

As the school year progresses, Siwon finds himself feeling lighter and lighter, and he can trace all of his growing juvenescence directly to his new best friend.

Shindong values hard work. The other guys are great at their own things, but they're missing that fire under their butts that makes them actually try. Shindong doesn't just put in the effort; he also appreciates the challenge and sees it as an opportunity instead. Shindong empowers Siwon to embrace his own challenges in a way that he didn't feel like he could do until Shindong came around.

Shindong tries new things. Siwon is a rather adventurous guy himself, but that's not what he means. Shindong picks up and drops hobbies as quickly as Heechul switches partners, and he's amassed a great wealth of knowledge as a result. He's dynamic, and Siwon could never get bored of the way Shindong talks about his niche interest du jour.

Shindong speaks his mind. His friend group is made up of some pretty lax guys, which is great until some of them get into an argument. They never really talk things out, instead waiting until it's no longer annoying to be in the same room and just choosing to let it go. When Shindong is offended, you'll know. When he's wrong, he'll admit it. It does lead to some tension at first, but they all end up better for it as a result, and Siwon wishes he could be that brave.

Shindong trusts him. When Siwon was planning on hosting the guys over at his house for Kangin's birthday since he has an indoor pool and hot tub, Shindong shyly asked him to think of something else because he's afraid of water. That was a request Siwon was more than happy to oblige if it meant including Shindong in the festivities.

Shindong doesn't need him to be 'on' all the time. One time Kangin invited himself over to one of their hangouts—he and Shindong had planned to read the newspaper together to catch up on current events and financial affairs—and he got bored and complained that they should do something more fun. Before Siwon could worry Shindong felt the same way, the other had sassily defended their brand of bonding and just told Kangin to leave if he didn't like it. Siwon loves the fact that Shindong cherishes that quiet time together as much as he does.

Siwon thinks he maybe just loves Shindong.

~~~

Shindong slides into the seat beside Siwon in their first shared class of the day just as he slides an envelope across Siwon's desk. The envelope happens to have the same seal as the university into which Siwon is planning on matriculating. They offered him a spot on the varsity basketball team and sponsored on-campus living, and Mama Choi didn't raise no fool.

Siwon raises an eyebrow in interest, and Shindong simply points at the envelope with his chin. Siwon takes that as the invitation it is, and he pulls out the letter inside.

Congratulations, Donghee! You have been accepted…

Siwon whips his head up to look at Shindong, who has the largest shit-eating grin on his face.

They need to talk about this. Now.

"Seonsaengnim!" Siwon abruptly interrupts the teacher's lecture with his hand straight in the air. He ignores all the eyes that turn to him in shock. "Donghee isn't feeling too well. Can I take him to the nurse?"

All attention shifts to Shindong, who improvises in stride. "Ughhhhhnnnn," he groans pitifully, slouching over on his desk for added effect.

"Very well, then," the teacher waves off. Siwon stands up and bows hastily before half-guiding, half-dragging Shindong out the door. "Awwwwwwgggggghhhh," Shindong keeps up the ruse as he stumbles out, affecting delirium.

Once they're out of sight from the doorway, they run down the halls until they reach the bathroom, trying without success to contain their giggles along the way. "Couldn't give me a head's up back there?" Shindong teases as he sits on the edge of a sink, lightly panting.

"Couldn't give me a head's up that you were applying to my university?" Siwon punches Shindong's shoulder, acting affronted, but he swoops in for a bone-crushing hug immediately afterwards.

Shindong awkwardly returns the hug. (Siwon pinning his arms to his side means he can only reach Siwon's elbows.) His voice is quiet when he says, "My hopes were already up. I didn't want to get yours up, too."

Siwon gets it, so he lets it and Shindong go. The excited smile stays on his face, though. "Are you gonna go?"

"I don't know, man. They gave me a scholarship, but that just brings the tuition cost down to the same price as the local uni. I'd still have to get a job or a work-study to help offset the costs; and on top of that, I'd be so far away from home…"

"... But you're willing to go through all that just to keep going to the same school as me?" Siwon offers cheekily, squashing that incredibly light feeling in his chest with humour.

Shindong rolls his eyes. "I was gonna say, 'But all that is doable, and hey, at least you'll be there for me to mooch off of,'" he says with an attitude, but the corners of his lips quirk up at the end.

"You're right. I'll be there for you," Siwon affirms. Something about the serious way he said that makes Shindong feel like he's missing something, but he brushes it off. He was a little nervous about going so far away for school, but he has a feeling he'll be fine with Siwon around.

~~~

Siwon sidles up to Heechul, who casually throws his arm around the newcomer's shoulders despite the height difference. "How's my favourite wallet doing?" Heechul teases.

They're the only two to share this free period, and they often spend it outside, chatting, listening to music, doing homework, whatever. This time, Siwon finds Heechul leaning against a wall and people-watching.

"What's your read on Shindong?" Siwon asks as casually as possible. He's hoping he doesn't need to explain further, and luckily Heechul doesn't need clarification. Heechul knows what Siwon means.

He also knows: "Give up before it's too late."

Siwon's hopes plummet. "Really?" he asks, face and voice coloured by obvious disappointment.

Heechul looks over at Siwon and realises it is, in fact, too late for the other. His heart clenches for his long-time friend, and Heechul finds himself equivocating out of a need to assuage him. "Maybe I'm wrong for once. Like, what do I know? I'm just 18."

Siwon tries on a bright smile. "Yeah, maybe. There's gotta be a first time for everything, right, hyung?"

But now is not one of those times, and Heechul knows it. "Don't say I didn't warn you, though." He tries on a reassuring grin and a friendly knock on Siwon's shoulder.

He knows it looks more like a grimace, and he knows Siwon is ignoring that. He just doesn't know how long it'll take before Siwon's heart breaks.

He may not have had Heechul's fullest support, but Siwon has spent Too Many days thinking about this to go back now. It took long enough as it is to even get to this point; but if he's being honest with himself, he knew it was only a matter of time.

He finds his opportunity on their way home from school the week before showtime.

"Shindong, wanna go to prom with me?" "What?"

Shindong gives him a look so incredulous, Siwon is reminded of one of those dogs with smushed faces. The thought makes him smile even though his heart feels simultaneously too heavy and too fast.

"Should I, um, should I repeat myself?" he asks while trying to hide his shaking hands by grabbing onto his backpack straps.

"I'm just… so confused. Didn't Kwon Boa ask you to prom yesterday? Did she dump you already? What did you do?!"

In truth, Siwon turned her down as soon as she asked him, but saying that now would be unhelpful for his purposes.

"Even if you did somehow fuck up your chance with the prettiest, most sought-after girl in school, you still could ask literally anyone to be your date? Why would you go the friend route for prom? It's not even a valid Plan Z," Shindong continues.

Siwon pouts. "If I can ask anyone, why can't I ask you?"

Shindong is unimpressed, and Siwon wavers in his conviction. He wasn't originally going to tell him, but…

This could be it. This could be his chance to confess to Shindong.

There's always the chance that Shindong would reject him, of course. He'd probably use Siwon's own technique against him, too; that would be pretty pathetic. Then he'd promise that this wouldn't affect their friendship, except it will because he'll be too awkward around Siwon; and slowly but surely, he'd pull away from the other until Siwon finds himself at university, alone and painfully aware of how close he is to his best friend who is completely out of reach—oh God, of course he can't confess to Shindong.

The aforementioned snaps his fingers in Siwon's face, and Siwon resolutely sticks to his plan. He throws a casual arm around Shindong's shoulder and forces them to keep walking. "I heard from the seniors before us that prom's more fun with friends anyway. Why go with some girl I don't know when I can go with you?"

"Siwon, I know you're lying to me."

"What?" Siwon's step falters.

"We're best friends, of course I know." Besides the fact that Siwon is unconsciously telegraphing, the other guys have found dates already. Siwon would have brought it up with all of them if he really wanted to go with friends.

Siwon bites his bottom lip, waiting for whatever fallout comes from his decision to open this can of worms.

Shindong sighs and slips his hand into Siwon's. He's learned touching helps. "It also means I know when to let it go. I'll go to prom with you, flower boy."

Siwon cannot contain himself. "HE SAID YES!" he yells into the sky as he runs around, hooting and hollering in unadulterated jubilation.

Shindong shakes his head with annoyed fondness as he continues walking home, expecting Siwon to catch up with him once he's tired out.

(And it turns out Siwon's seniors were right: prom is a lot more fun with friends.)

~~~

Their final hurrah takes place at the height of the summer. Between family vacations and Siwon moving in early for the summer basketball bootcamp the university is making him attend, it's the only time they'll have where all five are available before the fall comes and scatters them away.

Siwon's family lets them borrow one of their cars for the day, and they make the maknae drive them all the way to the beach as early as they could go (read: as early as Kangin could wake up). The day progresses with plenty of frisbee on the sand, frolicking in the sea, and flirting at the food shacks. The ever present feeling that this may be the last time all of them are gathered together in a long time is never lost on any of them, so they make the most of every moment, earning them unheeded glares from the lifeguard on duty.

Sunset finds them around a small bonfire near the surf. To no one's surprise, Kangin managed to lift some beers from his parents, so they drink as they talk and watch the embers float up into the gradually darkening sky. Gone with the sun is the high energy from the day, leaving behind a calmer and more contemplative atmosphere.

Heechul speaks up after a comfortable stretch of silence. "So, I already know what those two fogies are doing come fall," he says while pointing to where Siwon and Shindong sit on opposite sides of the fire, "but what about you guys?" he directs towards Kangin and Kibum. "All I know is that college really isn't the cards for you."

Kibum ducks his head shyly. "I, uh, made it past the first round of auditions at MS Entertainment."

"WHAT?!" "Like, the MS Entertainment!?" "Um, when was this?!" "You're thinking of joining the entertainment industry?"

The last question surprisingly comes from Siwon, and the other guys shoot him a look. Siwon lifts his hands up in defense. "It's just that, Kibum, I've never even heard you sing."

Kibum shakes his head. "No, I wanna be an actor. I realised it after I missed out on auditions for the school play. For just a few hours a day, it'll be nice to pretend I'm not me. I think I could be really good at it if I got the chance." The guys nod, knowing very well how Kibum struggles to be and express himself without pretense.

"I can't wait to see you on TV one day, man," Shindong says with a smile. "If you book a commercial, I am buying one thousand units of whatever you're selling. I don't care what it is. I'll end up with a thousand pairs of jeans if I must," Kangin jokes.

Kibum grins appreciatively and nods towards Kangin in turn. "What about you, then?"

Kangin puffs out his chest with pride. "I'm gonna start at a baseball development camp out in Gangwon. If I work hard and play my cards right, I might get recruited at one of the farm teams in the Futures League. It would be awesome if I got into one of the Seoul clubs, just so I could stay close to home."

Shindong smirks. "Okay, let's say you had to go to a southern team. Which one would you pick? 1, 2, 3…"

"The Dinos."

Heechul barks out a laugh. "If you think I'd go all the way to fuckin' Changwon just to see your sorry ass… Well, a bitch might."

Siwon quirks an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? What is the self-proclaimed biggest star in the universe, the Great Kim Heechul, doing instead?"

"Whatever it takes, man," Heechul says with a snort. "I'll get some part time jobs here, travel a little there… Just figure life out as it comes."

Kibum nods, well-acquainted with Heechul's myself-against-the-world attitude. Shindong, for his part, tries his best to offer a smile without looking pitying. He can't help but feel like Heechul is making his life harder for himself than it has to be—but now's not the time, and neither is he the person, for that conversation.

Kangin counters, "You might find yourself in Gyeongsang anyway then, hyung."

"Yeah; and if you were paying attention to me, you would have known I acknowledged that already, dumbass. Clean the wax outta your ears."

"How about I clean your clock instead!" Kangin yells as he launches at Heechul, and they start wrestling in the sand.

Shindong watches, reveling in the familiarity of the moment, and thinks about how close he was to not having any of this. "When I first moved here, I was pretty sure I was gonna spend the school year alone." The words come out of his mouth without prompting; but now that they're out, he finds he actually has something to say.

The boys turn their attention to him, Kangin and Heechul halting their bickering and sitting in place where they found themselves on the sand, and Shindong continues. "You know. I was the new kid, I was only able to afford the school because of my scholarship, I'm fat. If life were like a TV show, that wouldn't have been the most successful combination of factors." He quirks the corners of his lips up in a wane half-smile, then turns his gaze from the fire to the earnest faces of his friends. "But I met you guys, and nothing happened like I thought it would. Thanks for giving me a chance."

"Aish," Kangin says as he gets up and moves back towards the group. He stops behind Siwon and places a hand on his shoulder. "Don't thank us; thank this guy. He texted us one day all, 'I invited the new kid to sit with us at lunch tomorrow. Try not to be dicks.' If it weren't for him, I probably would have pushed you into the lockers once or twice just for fun."

"I probably would have helped," Kibum says with a shrug.

"I probably would have filmed it," Heechul pipes up.

Siwon waves their comments away with good humour. "You guys aren't that mean. Maybe you would have slapped the books out of his hands, but that's really it."

"Maybe we aren't mean now, but that's because you made us soft. Remember when I made Go-seonsaengnim cry in freshman year just with a glare?"

The conversation readily turns to their early high school memories, which Shindong would normally have loved hearing about, but his attention is elsewhere.

The dim light afforded by the fire casts impermanent shadows on Siwon's face that alternately highlight his boyish features and give him the appearance of a grown man. Shindong watches this and feels like he's seeing the present blurring into the future before his very eyes, and he finds it especially poignant that Siwon is the focal point of that illusion considering his role in changing Shindong's own life.

He's going to miss his friends and the gentle feeling of home he managed to cultivate for himself among them, but at least he won't have to miss Siwon.

~~~

College is harder than Shindong thought it would be, but it's easier in other ways too. He plays the first semester safe (he's not trying to get his scholarship revoked before the first year is over, thank you very much); but when the second semester comes around, he knows what liberties he can take with himself to have more fun without sacrificing his studies.

So when the volleyball team holds a party and invites the basketball team, Siwon offers his plus one to Shindong, and he double-checks that he doesn't have a shift at the campus mailroom the next day… well, he doesn't say no.

It isn't the first time he's gotten drunk (there's no way you could be in Siwon's friend group for a year without sustaining at least one hangover); but after a whole semester and winter of working and studying practically non-stop, the lack of inhibitions feels better than it ever had before.

Siwon is far more drunk, however. He is as clingy as ever, introducing Shindong to all of his basketball friends (and even some strangers) and constantly slurring "I miss youuu" into his ears.

He would hate it except he loves it. He misses the guy, too, after all.

"Shindong! Let's go see the stars!"

Siwon drags Shindong to the backyard of the house holding the party, no less noisy but definitely less crowded. He happily settles down onto one of the logs around an unlit bonfire and pats the space next to him in a clear invitation. The happy grin on his face is replaced with a pout when Shindong decides to sit on a different log just to tease him, but that doesn't stop him. Siwon just moves to Shindong's log and cuddles into his friend's side, enjoying the warm feeling spreading inside him. Is it the beer or the company? In any case, it's the most cosy he's felt since school started.

Siwon chances a glance upwards at Shindong. Not for the first time, he cannot help but notice how soft the other looks in the moonlight. His cheeks always look so fluffy and pinchable, but Siwon has never wanted to hold Shindong's face more than he does right now.

When he notices that Shindong notices that he is looking at him, Siwon is just drunk enough to hold his gaze.

Siwon is just drunk enough to move his face forward, as slow as the movement ends up being. Maybe that's because he's drunk, too. He's definitely not sober enough to stop.

Then he's drunk in a different way, because Shindong is the one to bring their lips together.

The moment is perfect, even more perfect than Siwon had ever dreamed of—and oh, did he dream. In the back of his mind, he thinks about going to church three times a week from now on to thank God for this blessing.

He wants to deepen the kiss, he wants to lean closer, he wants to touch—but just as he thinks about doing any of that, Shindong pulls away with a giggle. Siwon laughs too, giddy and uninhibited as he is. He reaches for Shindong's hand and wonders how long the other has felt the same way as he did.

The hand for which Siwon had been reaching escapes to throw a bro-y, friendly punch into Siwon's shoulder. Siwon is mildly confused, but nothing can wipe the smile from his face now. He just kissed Shindong! Is right now too soon to be calling each other boyfriends?

"That wasn't so bad, right?" Shindong says as he looks back up at the sky.

Uh, right. Understatement of the century. That was amazing, stupendous, earth-shattering, future-defining—

Shindong keeps talking. "Not exactly how I thought that was gonna happen, but there's no planning for these sorts of things anyway. What's college for if not experimenting and cutting loose?"

Siwon's lovestruck internal monologue stutters to a stop. "What?"

"Don't get me wrong, you're the prettiest guy I know—full stop—but if kissing you doesn't make me feel something, then I definitely must be straight." Shindong starts cackling then, like he said the funniest joke in the world.

Siwon's hearing fails him, but all he can think about now is how badly he wants to rewind time.

He wants to go back to before he knew what Shindong's lips felt like.

He wants to go back to before he had the first drink.

He wants to go back to before he even met Shindong.

"I gotta go," he manages to say, crushed as he is under the weight of the guilt he felt when that last thought traitorously passed through his head.

Shindong laughs harder when he watches Siwon stumble away. Poor guy must be so drunk. He might not even make it to the bathroom in time.

~~~

Avoiding Shindong isn't as hard as one would think. They're different majors. They live in different residence halls. He has the basketball team too, and Shindong was never the kind of person that keeps up with all his friends' activities anyway. A little "Sorry, I'm meeting someone for a project" here, a little "Sorry, Coach is slamming us with extra practise" there, and a whole semester passes by without spending extended time with his best friend and—he's not afraid to say it now—the love of his young life.

And that's exactly why he needs to avoid Shindong. He can't face Shindong casually right now—not when the only thing that will be occupying his mind is the look on Shindong's face immediately before, not when his palms itch to touch the other's cheeks so he can fold that feeling into his memory. He can't know what it's like to kiss Shindong and not be able to kiss him again.

So he's depressed, he's lonely, and he's irritable—exactly the kind of mindset you want to be in when you meet someone new.

"Hi, I don't think we really talked before," the lanky kid says as he stands up straight from where he was leaning beside the open door to Siwon's room. "I'm Hyukjae, but my friends call me Eunhyuk. I live down the hall." He points over his shoulder with his thumb as if Siwon didn't know which hall he was referring to, and the gesture immediately gets on his nerves.

Siwon glares at him, and the guy—Hyukjae; they're not friends—smiles a wide, gummy grin. "Sorry to bother you like this, but I noticed you were taking your stuff to your car. Are you packing your things into storage for the summer?" Siwon nods mutely, unsure where the other is going with this and approximately three seconds away from blowing him off.

"Listen, I have, like," he pauses to rummage around in his pockets and count the pieces of paper he pulls out, "10000 won on me right now. If I give you that and pay for gas and—I don't know—buy you dinner afterwards, would you help me move mine into storage too?"

Siwon's glare turns incredulous, which makes Hyukjae facepalm. "Oh! And of course I would help you move your stuff. That's a given. Although… you certainly don't look like you need the help."

At this last statement, Eunhyuk gives him a quick once over, and Siwon bristles. This whole situation is really grating on him. Why did this guy look at him like that? Why does it bother him that he did? Why is he supremely against this mildly reasonable request?

(Well, he knows why, and that's only adding to his frustration.)

Hyukjae senses how close Siwon is to turning tail, so he resorts to drastic measures. "Bro, help me out," he begs as he clasps his hands and falls to his knees. "I live all the way out in Ilsan, and I don't have a car. I would be, like, super indebted to you!"

"Ilsan isn't that far away," Siwon points out unimpressedly.

"Indebted!"

He stares at the boy's pout, the hands grasping cumbled bills of won, and the mullet-esque hair and thinks he might actually be more pathetic than even Siwon feels these days.

"... Alright."

Siwon ignores the other's resulting cheers as he returns to his task. He figures that the sooner he gets this over with, the faster he can go back home for the summer.

~~~

Like Siwon said, Ilsan isn't that far away.

As in, he and Hyukjae didn't have the worst time together while moving their stuff, Hyukjae decided they are now friends, and Hyukjae commutes into Seoul every other weekend to pester Siwon into hanging out with him.

In the beginning, he had no problems brushing the other off. Hyukjae isn't bad people necessarily, but he's a brat.

Case in point: The first time he actually agreed to hang out, Hyukjae forgot his wallet and Siwon begrudgingly paid for their excursions that day. Hyukjae hasn't brought his wallet with him since.

After that first time, however, it became harder and harder to turn Hyukjae down. He's depressed, he's lonely, he's irritable—but somehow none of that has pushed Hyukjae away yet. Against his better judgement, Siwon cannot help but be drawn to the individual who is experiencing the worst Siwon has to offer and chooses to spend time with him anyway. It's… nice.

The summer proceeds like that: Eunhyuk having a new hare-brained adventure haphazardly planned for the day, Siwon's wallet finding itself thousands of won lighter each time, and Siwon slowly getting out of his funk and coming back to himself.

Even as the summer draws to a close and their event options dwindle down, Eunhyuk manages to find something for them to do. A couple of weeks before they're set to move back in for the beginning of the next school year, Eunhyuk takes Siwon to a trendy new pop-up cafe in Itaewon.

Siwon likes it. It's lively but not too loud, the food isn't half bad, and the interior is fresh-looking without being overly cute.

He doesn't say any of this though, mostly because Eunhyuk isn't really saying anything either.

It's a testament to how much he feels like his old self again that he strongly considers asking the other what's wrong. Old Siwon wouldn't have hesitated. New Siwon rationalises if something is really bothering the other, Eunhyuk would say something himself.

He's halfway through his cheesecake when Eunhyuk lets his fork clatter to his plate. "Siwon, there's never gonna be a good time or a good way to say this, so I'm just gonna say it. I like you."

Well, of course Eunhyuk likes him. He basically spent the whole summer with Siwon. The surprising part here is that Siwon means it when he says, "I like you, too."

Eunhyuk's eyes do something funny, then he shakes his head. "No, like—" He stops, takes a deep breath, and on the exhale he says, "Wanna go on a date with me?"

"... Oh."

And then Siwon's senses shift. His heart beat speeds up just a fraction more than it had been before Eunhyuk began talking, but he can't hear the crowd of the cafe anymore. Everything behind Eunhyuk's determined, hopeful face blurs into a mess of colours and light. When he swallows, he still has the aftertaste of the strawberry syrup from the cheesecake on his tongue.

"Um, okay," is all he says, but he can feel his lips tug upward in a small grin without his direction.

Siwon is greeted with a gummy smile, familiar yet new, and he cannot help but focus in on the revealed shade of pink.

~~~

Honestly, he forgets about Siwon.

There's only so many times he can get blown off before he stops trying to reach out in the first place, you know? Then midterms came around, then it was finals season, then he was too wrapped up in trying to find an on-campus job for the summer so that he wouldn't have to waste money and time moving out of his residence hall… Before he knows it, it's been a year since he and the guys had their beach day, and he uncomfortably realises he can't remember the last time he spoke to Siwon. Was it at that party in the beginning of last semester? That can't be right.

And yet, for a reason he cannot explain, he doesn't immediately reach out to Siwon first.

He starts off with Kangin, who hasn't made it to a team yet but has met with several scouts already and believes it's just a matter of time. Heechul answers him in English, of all things, and he has to use a translation app to find out that Heechul spent seven months in Australia as a freelance Hangul-speaking museum guide before coming back to South Korea to work at a brewery out in Jeju-do. When he texts Kibum asking if Kangin had made good on his promise to buy 100 units of whatever his latest commercial was selling, Kibum simply says, "lol."

Finally, the only one left is Siwon. Shindong is weirdly anxious to talk to him again, but he firmly pushes that aside.

He tries a text at first; but after two days with no response, he ups the ante.

"Hello?"

"Siwon-ah!" he cheers into the receiver. It had been so long since he heard Siwon's voice, and just the sound of it lifts his mood.

"Shindong-hyung, you called me." Siwon's voice sounds incredulous, and it makes him laugh. They're not people for phone calls, admittedly. It wasn't necessary back when they spent almost all their waking moments together.

"Hey, if you had just texted me back, I wouldn't have had to resort to such drastic measures."

Silence, then chuckles on the other end of the line. "Yeah, that one's on me, isn't it? I did that thing where I read it but only replied to it in my head."

Shindong waits for more, but Siwon doesn't continue from there. "So, um, what's been up with you lately?" he asks stiltedly. He frowns; he and Siwon don't do small talk. He tries again, "Did I mention I'm on campus for the summer? I got a job as the front desk guy at the Alumni Office. It has its boring moments, but at least I didn't have to move out of the dorms. I know some of the guys on my floor even rented a storage unit so that they wouldn't have to move back and forth with their stuff, which is just… so far beyond my budget right now, haha."

Siwon makes a funny noise like he choked on his own spit. "Siwon?!" Shindong calls concernedly into the line.

"It's fine, hyung," Siwon croaks out. "Listen, you kinda caught me at a bad time. I'd love to talk more, but I gotta go."

"Oh, sure," Shindong says in surprise. "See you when the school year starts up again, yeah?"

He holds onto the phone tightly. He doesn't know what he's wanting to hear exactly, but he waits in anticipation for Siwon's response anyway.

"Yeah, of course. See you later, Shindong."

The line clicks silent, and Shindong doesn't let himself read into it. Like Siwon said, it was just a bad time.

~~~

The new school year isn't terribly different from the previous one, but Siwon likes what it brings. He's still balancing the basketball team and classes, but he has Eunhyuk now. Eunhyuk introduces him to his best friend Donghae, and college starts feeling less like something happening to him and more like something he's living.

Early into the new semester finds the three of them grabbing lunch on campus, Siwon and Eunhyuk playing footsie under the table and ignoring Donghae's gags in the background. They're not really talking about anything important, so the conversation is easily derailed by the sound of someone hollering from across the student union.

"Siwon! Ya, Siwon!"

Siwon temporarily freezes. He didn't expect to hear that voice again so soon. He can feel his face do something funny as his body and his mind fight for control over what to do. He wants to play it cool; he wants to ignore the voice; but more than anything, he wants to see Shindong again. He has ever since the summer.

He listens to that part and turns around in his seat to wave. The sight of Shindong's eyes scrunched up in happy half-moons behind his thick-rimmed glasses makes his heart ache even as his body relaxes from tension he didn't know he was carrying. He misses Shindong.

"Siwon, you brat! I didn't hear from you much this summer, and I barely saw you last semester!" Shindong laughs jovially before turning to the other two at the table, and Siwon is surprised to remember they were there. "Hey, I'm Donghee, but you've probably heard this guy call me Shindong. Mind if I join you?"

Siwon eagerly motions for Shindong to grab a chair, and Donghae says, "Hey, Donghee. I'm Donghae." as if it were the most clever observation in the world.

Siwon eyes Shindong's politely amused grin and cannot help but laugh. God, he forgot how funny Shindong could be even when he isn't trying. The other brings a seat over to their table and chats pleasantly with Donghae, and Siwon takes the moment to take in the changes in his best friend.

His face is slightly less pudgy, but the puffy round cheeks Siwon loves so much are fully on display. He has a tiny ponytail sticking straight up from the crown of his fluffy hair, and it reminds Siwon of elementary schoolers on picture day in a way that warms his heart. He notices the suspenders and khakis combination that the other is wearing and remembers how hard it was for Shindong to get used to not having to wear a uniform to school anymore. It seems he finally settled on something that worked for him, as nerdy as it ended up looking. (Somehow, that is endearing, too.)

"Siwon, what's your weekend look like? We should do something, just you and me. Grab some newspapers, eat gyoza, catch up. You in?"

Siwon would like nothing more and almost automatically agrees. Luckily, before he could land himself in hot water with his excitement, his brain supplies that he and Eunhyuk were supposed to picnic in the park this weekend. He flicks his eyes over to his boyfriend, asking without words if he could go.

Eunhyuk nods, so Siwon says yes, and it feels like a piece of him that was asleep finally wakes up.

~~~

They're best friends again in no time.

Sure, there were some awkward instances when Shindong or Siwon would refer to memories that the other wasn't there for in a stilted reminder that there is time lost between them, but they easily catch each other up and fall back into old habits. Their lives intertwine in the seamless way they did back in high school, and Siwon's heart feels so full.

He can't help but ignore the red flags as a result. The more active he and Shindong are in each other's lives, the more he is aware of the fact that Shindong does not know the full extent of his relationship with Eunhyuk; and he admits he has made small—inconsequentially, really—concessions to keep it that way.

He's starting to suspect that Eunhyuk knows something is up, too. It brings him a little bit of guilt, but it's not like he's completely avoiding his boyfriend (been there, done that). Besides, the other hasn't said anything. He even invites Siwon over one weekend, so Siwon figures he probably hasn't messed up too badly yet.

When cuddling on the bed with legs intertwined while watching a movie turns into roaming fingertips and forgotten laptops droning on in the background, Siwon feels content like never before.

"Why does it feel like it's been forever since I kissed you?" he murmurs into Eunhyuk's hair afterwards, planting a kiss right there and embracing his boyfriend closer to his chest. He'd love to fall asleep like this…

But then Eunhyuk gently releases himself from Siwon's hold and sits upright in bed. "I have a feeling it has to do with how Donghee is hanging out with us a lot now," he says as he pulls his clothes back on.

Siwon's disappointment clears when his mind, unbidden, conjures up the memory of Shindong's reaction when he caught Heechul rounding second base with his date when they all went to the movies together one time. "Yeah, Shindong isn't big on PDA," he says as he follows Eunhyuk's lead.

"Sure, but I'm your boyfriend," Eunhyuk emphasises. "Hand-holding, kissing… stuff like that is pretty typical for most couples. He knows what he would be getting into when he hangs out with us, and he still shows up. Doesn't seem to me like it would really bother him."

Siwon's movement falters. So Eunhyuk has noticed. "I guess I'm just trying to be a little courteous," he hurries to say, the not-quite-a-lie sitting heavy on his tongue. "He doesn't know you yet, and I don't want to give my best friend any reason to dislike my boyfriend."

Siwon puts on his most convincing, disarming grin, and it somehow makes things worse. "You know, it's funny," Eunhyuk begins with light tone absolutely lacking in amusement, "Donghee's supposedly your best friend, but I haven't even heard of him before this semester. It's clear he hasn't heard of me either. Wanna explain why?"

Siwon frowns at the accusation. "He is my best friend." He may not have acted like it for a while there, but that fact will never change. It's just… "We weren't really, ah, talking much at around the time you and I met." He wants to stop there, but Eunhyuk raises an expectant eyebrow. "Um, remember that time in the student union? That was, sorta, the first time we had spoken in eight months."

The admission completely melts all of Eunhyuk's cold and angry tension, and the sight makes him even more antsy for some reason. Siwon is acutely aware that he didn't answer the entirety of his boyfriend's question, but the other is already moving on.

"You get why I'm bothered, right?" Eunhyuk asks as he sits back on the bed, and yes, Siwon does finally start to get how bothered the other really is. He's never seen Eunhyuk so despondent before. His entire being radiates tired sadness, and Siwon realises with a pang that he did that to him."This guy that I've never met before just shows up one day, and my boyfriend starts acting completely different around him!" Eunhyuk's pout has a chilling effect on Siwon without the hint of flirtation to which he was so accustomed, and Siwon has him wrapped up in a side-hug as if on autopilot. Eunhyuk happily cuddles into the embrace and lays his head on Siwon's shoulder, but Siwon barely notices, too consumed by the weight spreading all over his body.

He's fucked up.

He hasn't been going about this correctly at all, and it's hurting his boyfriend, and that hurts him, and he's fucked up.

He stands abruptly. "I gotta go."

"What?"

Siwon can barely hear the shocked hurt in his boyfriend's voice, he's so preoccupied with the immense and all-consuming guilt that weighs down his limbs. He can't get out of the apartment fast enough. He needs space; he needs more room so that terrible feeling that is expanding within him has somewhere else to go.

"Siwon, where are you going?!" Eunhyuk hurries after him and manages to intercept Siwon before he could open the door. If he were more himself, he'd chuckle at how his boyfriend, 9 centimetres shorter and 5 kilograms lighter, is trying to bodily prevent him from leaving; but in his state, even a feather could knock Siwon over.

"There's something you're not telling me, and I'm not letting you leave the apartment until you do. What is going on between you and Donghee?" he demands.

"Nothing!" Siwon despairs, and it's the truth.

"Why are you lying to me!"

"I've never lied to you," and that is also the truth.

"But you are keeping something from me." There's nothing Siwon can say to that, so he fidgets where he stands. Eunhyuk laughs mirthlessly. "And it's related to Donghee, too, isn't it? How long did you think you could go without telling me, huh? Did you think I wouldn't notice?!"

Siwon is still in flight mode, his brain is still foggy, so he latches onto the only coherent thought he has just so that he can respond to Eunhyuk. "Why don't you call him Shindong?"

Eunhyuk seizes in incredulous frustration. "Can you focus!? That is so beyond the point!"

Siwon closes his eyes and rubs his hands down his face in resigned acknowledgement. Yes, that was the wrong thing to say. "Hyuk, I'm sorry but… I really, really have to go. I need some time; I need to think. You deserve better than the first thought that pops into my head, but I can't give you that right here, right now."

Eunhyuk's shiny eyes are devastating even under the fluorescent glare of his apartment lights, and Siwon's heart urges him to do something. He steps forward, arms outstretched, but Eunhyuk steps out of his reach. "No, please," he says simply. He hastily wipes away the tears that pool at the rim of his eyes and looks anywhere but at Siwon. "When you touch me, I feel better even when I don't want to."

Siwon lets his arms fall back to his side. The need to leave wars with his need to comfort, so he does nothing.

Eunhyuk sniffles once, twice, then says, "Whenever something happens to me—big or small, bad or good—you've become the first person I wanna tell it to. Nothing feels real until I've told you about it." He hugs himself and turns away. "But you don't even want to talk to me."

Eunhyuk walks back to his room and lightly closes the door behind him, a silent cue for Siwon to leave. When he finally does several moments later, the image of Eunhyuk rejecting his touch replays in his mind, and his heart rebels with every step.

~~~

With time and distance, Siwon realises a lot of things about himself.

He's always wanted his first real relationship to be with someone he shared a lot with, someone he didn't have to force himself to spend time with or get to know, someone who made it all easy yet made the difficult parts worth it. He admits to himself that he always wanted his first real relationship to be with Shindong, but that evidently wasn't possible. Just when he had given up on that dream (and on himself), he found all of it and more in Eunhyuk, who literally showed up unannounced, bribed his way into Siwon's life, and pestered Siwon into letting him stay. Without knowing any of the details and without asking any questions, Eunhyuk managed to shake Siwon out of the depressive episode he was in simply by being himself. The warm excitement that coloured their days together were noted but taken for granted, and the cold emptiness that replaces it in the aftermath of their fight is frighteningly familiar. He regrets that it took the undeniable pain that can only come from heartbreak for him to realise that he had fallen in love with Eunhyuk, but at least he knows now.

He also now knows he's a coward.

He was a coward back in senior year when he couldn't tell Shindong why he asked the other to prom, he was a coward last semester when he cut Shindong out of his life for accidentally breaking his heart, and he's a coward now.

With Shindong is back in his life, Siwon thought he could somehow keep both his past love and his current love in the exact ways he wanted them without having to have any uncomfortable conversations, that the two of them would get along fabulously, and that Siwon's happiness would simply fall into place.

He also now knows he's an idiot.

Siwon has always prided himself on being a man of action. He had enough time and distance to reflect, recalibrate, and reload, so it is time for him to gather his courage and react.

He texts Shindong to do homework together at his place then immediately goes out to buy some food just to have something to do with the nervous energy that buzzes within him. He even buys snacks that he knows only Shindong likes because he needs every advantage he can get. He returns with no less pent-up energy than with which he started, so he sets to cleaning the whole apartment. He even attempts to do his homework to distract himself before he remembers homework is the ruse he told Shindong to lure the other over.

His nervous energy is apparent the second Shindong steps foot in the apartment. "Okay…" Shindong drags out as he plops his stuff onto the kitchen table that doubles as Siwon's desk. "Is there a major exam you're freaking out about or something? I can't promise I know anything, but I can promise to help you study."

Siwon lets a ghost of a smile cross his face, fondly remembering their intense study sessions back in high school that none of their friends were brave enough to join more than once. The memory passes, and he sighs. "No, it's not about class."

Shindong gestures. "Well? Out with it then. You know I'm just gonna leave if you're not gonna focus, and I really don't want to leave when there's an unopened pack of honey apple twists right there."

Honey apple twists are also Eunhyuk's favourite, so Siwon starts there.

"Eunhyuk is a man of questionable taste," Shindong pontificates as he munches on the newly opened snack. "He loves honey apple twists but hates seafood. He's best friends with Donghae but spends all his free time with you. What an enigma."

Siwon tries to chuckle, but it doesn't work. He takes a deep breath instead. He can't think of anything else to say except: "I think he's in love with me."

Shindong stops chewing. "What?"

"I think Eunhyuk and I spend a lot of time together because he's in love with me."

Shindong frowns, brows furrowed and looking genuinely upset. It takes Siwon aback for long enough that he gets distracted. "What?" he parrots.

"Dude, that's fucked up."

"What are you talking ab—"

"You can't just string him along like that! What is he gonna do when he finds out you don't like guys? Bro, if Heechul were here right now—actually, I'm just gonna call him because maybe you need to hear why that's fucked up from someone who gets it."

And there it was.

Every unspoken fear he'd ever had, every answer to his heartbreak, every problem he never solved.

He reaches out with his head down and gently stops Shindong's hand, halfway to dialling their high school friend whom Siwon hasn't spoken to since graduation. "I love him, in any case," he says to the ground.

Shindong lets his hand hold his phone in midair. "What?"

Siwon takes a breath, counts to three, and lifts his head to look Shindong in the eyes. "Shindong, Eunhyuk and I are dating. He's my boyfriend. He has been since the summer."

Shindong says nothing.

"I'm gay," Siwon says at last, so easily, because he knows that's not going to be the hardest confession of the night.

As soon as he says it, he can see the way so much clicks into place in Shindong's astute, masterful, beautiful mind.

"Is that why I haven't seen you since last semester," Shindong says instead of asks, "because you realised after our kiss and didn't want to tell me."

But not even Shindong can draw the correct conclusion when he isn't provided with every relevant fact. If he could, they would have cleared the air so long ago.

"No," Siwon says as he draws away, clasping his hands tight on his lap and wishing he could have told Eunhyuk he was gonna do this. He'd have said something to cheer Siwon up, and Siwon would remember that now, and it could give him courage. The only thing he has right now is the truth.

"No, that was because I was in love with you, and I realised you'd never love me back, and I needed time."

The silence that stretches out between them is awkward like no silence has ever been, even in the first few times they hung out again after reconnecting.

"For how long?" Shindong finally says.

Siwon tries to remember but finds he can't. It must have been one of those things that wasn't tied to any specific event, but a slow build until the whole of the structure was unmistakable. "Since the beginning, basically," he eventually settles on. "Not since the first day we met, no, but very, very close to it. I barely remember a time when I didn't know you and wasn't already in love with you."

"I see."

He finally looks at Shindong, who notices and meets his gaze for a moment before looking down at the table. In that one moment, Siwon could tell from Shindong's eyes that he can see now. He can tell the way Shindong is re-remembering every interaction they've ever had in a new light, and he simply waits. He has no more cards left to play.

Finally, Shindong looks back at him and says, "You should have told me. We should have talked about it. I could have been there for you."

Siwon smiles bittersweetly and looks away. "But not in the way I wanted you to be, and that's why I never said anything. No doubt, you would have absolutely been there. You would have been your funny, action-oriented, perfect self, within arms' reach but not mine for me to hold, and it would have broken me. Broken me worse than if you had dropped me as a friend completely."

Shindong is taken aback by the strength of Siwon's words, the seriousness with which he said them. "You must have been really in love with me."

Siwon turns the bittersweet smile to him then, tears shining in his eyes, and says, "So much. I loved you so much."

Shindong's heart breaks for his friend, his best friend, who suffered all alone and all on his account. He fiercely tugs Siwon into a hug and lets Siwon cry out every tear, every emotion, every everything from the last two years, all while murmuring "I'm sorry; I'm so, so sorry" into his friend's shoulder.

"For what it's worth, I loved you, too. I still do," he says when Siwon's tears subside into sniffles, but the younger is still clinging onto him. Shindong won't let go until he does.

"I know. I know you did, do. Me too," Siwon hiccups out.

With one last squeeze, he pulls away to give Shindong a watery but bright-eyed smile, and Shindong gives him one right back. The clock in the kitchen tells him they were only like that for seven minutes, but in that time it feels like they just relived every day of their entire friendship, finally on the same page.

"I'm in the mood for pizza," he says abruptly, reaching for his phone forgotten on the table. "Do you still like pineapples with yours?"

Siwon chuckles while wiping away some latent tears. "Please, yes. Eunhyuk won't let me eat that around him because 'it's gross American food,'" he says with air quotes.

"Maybe Eunhyuk is a man of taste after all," Shindong says as he waits for the phone to ring. He catches Siwon's eye just to sneer, "What's he doing dating you?"

Siwon laughs, a whole-belly laugh, and gets a second wind when Shindong calmly rattles off Siwon's own credit card number for the payment information.

~~~

It's been almost two weeks since Eunhyuk last spoke to Siwon, the memory of his boyfriend's face as he begged for time haunting his undistracted moments. He's busied himself with dance practice, homework, and even once tried accompanying Donghae to the gym just to get his mind off of how much more lonely he feels. It was pretty bad before when Eunhyuk was convincing himself that the way his boyfriend was pulling away was all in his head, but with confirmation from Siwon himself, it just got so much worse.

Donghee—He's not about to start calling him by that ridiculous nickname. The only thing Donghee is good at, as far as he's concerned, is ruining his mood—first came into the picture like spilled paint across a canvas: completely and all at once where before there was none. He showed up at group hangouts and even tagged along to his and Siwon's casual day dates, sometimes at Siwon's own behest!

Siwon also didn't touch Eunhyuk as much when Donghee was around, which is saying something because Siwon is literally the clingiest man in all of South Korea. To have such a gentle, romantic, constant aspect of his relationship almost completely stop without explanation… Of course Eunhyuk was lonely. The only thing that stopped him from saying something sooner was how undeniably happy Siwon was with Donghee back in his life, and Eunhyuk didn't want to ruin that for him.

But now it seems like their whole relationship is ruined instead, and the idea that this is how it all ends makes him even more miserable.

It is during one of these pessimistic slumps that he gets a text from Siwon that he, Donghae, and Donghee are working on the quad together. Siwon signs it with "I miss you 😘," and Eunhyuk's heart clenches. He misses Siwon too, but he's not really in the mood to watch him and Donghee together.

He realises he's not really in the mood to be alone right now either. He considers texting Donghae to fake some emergency so that he could be with Eunhyuk, but Donghae texts him first. "don't bail i promise."

The fact that Donghae, the only one who happens to know the full extent of Eunhyuk's insecurities and worries about the situation, is the one saying that piques his interest. If Donghae thinks it'll be safe for him, Eunhyuk will trust that.

He sees them before they see him, and it plays out slowly like a movie. They're all sitting in a quasi-circle on the grass in the middle of a laugh. The scene is so picturesque, and the jealous pang in his chest rings loud and true.

He almost turns on his heel right then and there, but Siwon notices him before he can.

Siwon's smile is bright and free, and he makes grabby hands for Eunhyuk like he hasn't in a while. Eunhyuk's feet carry him forward without him telling them to, and he has a feeling that was his heart leading. Despite it all, next to Siwon is where he wants to be.

He settles into the space by Siwon with a little unease, which dissipates completely when Siwon shifts them so that Eunhyuk is between his open legs and Siwon is giving him a cosy backhug. As much as he wants nothing else, Eunhyuk fights the urge to lean in, acutely aware of Donghee's presence.

"Siwon-ah." Eunhyuk squirms. "I'm 'Siwon-ah' now, not 'Siwonnie?'" He can hear Siwon's pout even as the other squeezes Eunhyuk to himself tighter. He puts a little more effort into escaping Siwon's embrace, but Siwon simply uses his legs to lock him in.

Eunhyuk laughs; he can't help it. He wiggles as frantically as possible—not to actually get out of Siwon's hold, just to give him a hard time trying to hold on—and Siwon playfully bites his ear to get him to stop. Eunhyuk lets out a mock gasp, prepared to do something drastic, when all of a sudden they both tumble onto the grass.

Eunhyuk looks up to see Donghee calmly returning to his spot, acting like he did nothing wrong and ignoring how Donghae assaults his back with amusement. "I've wanted to do that for forever!" Donghae cackles.

In embarrassment, he begins to sit up, but Siwon doesn't let him, instead pulling Eunhyuk back down and on top of him. He looks for the reason why in Siwon's eyes, and Siwon just gives him a small smile before leaning up to brush his lips against Eunhyuk's. It was a soft little thing, but it calms him down nevertheless.

He folds his hands on Siwon's chest and rests his head on top of them, facing the side where the other two weren't sitting. "I thought Shindong isn't big on PDA," he repeats, keeping his voice neutral but loud enough for Siwon to hear. In this position, he can hear Siwon's heartbeat as he plays with the collar of Siwon's shirt. He doesn't know what to make of its calm and strong cadence when he knows the other can feel his own heart rate spike in nervousness.

"You're my boyfriend, though," Siwon maintains, echoing their conversation from a week before with the roles noticeably reversed.

Eunhyuk jerks his head up to face the other. He doesn't think Siwon has called him his boyfriend in front of Donghee yet before.

Siwon must see something in his face because he reaches up to hold one of the hands on his chest and squeezes twice. I'm sorry about that, it says. We'll talk about everything later. Eunhyuk nods, looking at Siwon with so much trust in his eyes that Siwon smiles the same wide, happy grin that made Eunhyuk fall for him in the first place.

With a louder voice, Siwon says, "Besides, Shindong's a big guy. He'll find it within him to get over it."

"YA! DID YOU JUST MAKE A FAT JOKE ABOUT ME?!"

Siwon winks at Eunhyuk before sitting them upright and into a more casual cuddle, Eunhyuk against Siwon's side and Siwon's arm across Eunhyuk's shoulder.

Eunhyuk ignores the ensuing banter between Siwon, Shindong, and Donghae, instead looking up to observe his boyfriend. Siwon's different again, but in a good way, he decides. For the first time since they met, Siwon looks completely unburdened, completely secure.

And yet he's still here, holding Eunhyuk to him like he used to, which means whatever Siwon let go of, it wasn't him.

Eunhyuk knows they still have to talk, that there’s a lot of explaining Siwon has to do and a lot of confused pain he has to work through, but he also knows there's time for that now. Siwon isn't going anywhere; and neither is he, for that matter.

He looks over at the other two across the way and muses that Shindong isn't going anywhere either, but he finds that's not such a problem anymore.

(Siwon's laugh breaks his concentration, and he notices that's different, too—better than before, even.)

In fact, he might even welcome it.

~~~

[uwooyu]

this was supposed to be a time stamp but i got carried away so have whatever this is.

this basically turned into a little birthday fic. so happy birthday ko shinwon.

no warnings unless you count my lack of editing.

here are some of my favorite photos of him as well:

seeing the time flash 12:00 am, you groggily send childhood friend! shinwon a birthday text before falling calling it a night. you fall asleep to your notifications blowing up.

all you said was “your old. have fun going to school tomorrow. i’ll have the cookies ready.”

at school the next morning, you wait at his locker, the package in your hands steaming in the cool december morning.

you chuckle as he comes stomping up to you.

“you woke me up just to tell me i was old. i cant believe after ten ye-“ he notices the cookies. “are they the special birthday cookies?” he whispers.

the special birthday cookies were a legendary treat you made only your close friends. the only people who know the recipe were in your family. you had contemplated telling shinwon, but he would have been underwhelmed by the simplicity of it.

“of course they’re the special birthday cookies, Wonnie, why wouldn’t they be.” you hand the still warm package to him and he clutches it in both hands.

“you’re still taking me out to dinner.” he turns his nose up as he opens his locker. you laugh.

“i know i know, i’ve had the reservations for a month.” he smiles down at you. you’re leaning on the lockers next to his, not looking at him. you don’t see the pure love in his eyes as he takes in your figure. you snap out of your zone with a shake of your head and look at him, he looks back into his locker.

throughout the day you catch brief glimpses of shinwon. you both drifted into only having morning conversations and the drive to your house to talk, but at this point in both of your lives you wouldn’t change it.

he made many friends after joining leadership while you chose to stick with band. he came to every function, and not because he was expected to. many people skipped the band performances, but he hadn’t missed a single one in three years. you thought it was because he was being a good friend, and because he was also close with your brother. but he did it because it was a way to see you how he remembered you best.

at your closest, you would mindlessly play music while you hung out. he missed seeing you go into a music induced trance. completely vulnerable, at peace and in your element. he kept a guitar tuned in his room without your knowledge because he hoped to either have you play it for him or to gift it to you.

at lunch you saw him with his friends. but this was strange. they were in the band room, huddled around the piano. you were sat near the instruments, silently observing.

his friends were playing the piano in turns. horribly, if i might add. shinwon glances at you and when you meet eyes he flashes you a smile. you wave.

at the end of the day, you beat him to his car. as ten minutes pass you wonder where he is. you’ve texted him a few times already, but he hasn’t read them.

at the twenty minute mark you hear his laughter approaching you. you look up to see him walking with one of his leadership friends. you pretend you didn’t see them and turn your attention back to your phone.

their laughter stops suddenly and then after a minute you hear footsteps walking both away from and towards you. you look up and see shinwon walking up to his car.

“sorry for keeping you, clean up took a little bit longer than expected. you know how the soccer team gets.” he smiled a little, when you didn’t return it he gave up.

“is something wrong, y/n?” you locked your phone with a huff and slid off the trunk of his car.

“what really happened? we both know the soccer team doesn’t even start practice for another half hour.”

shinwon sighs, unlocking his car. he motions for you to hop in. you do and once both of you are in, he turns to you.

“Y/n can i be honest?” he says. he’s holding his hands together tightly so they don’t visibly shake.

“i hope you would be honest without having to ask, shinwon.” you say lightly. you keep trying to meet his eyes but he keeps looking at his hands.

“i took so long because i was asking kino for advice.” you assumed kino was the boy he had walked up with.

“why would you need advice, shinwon? you’re probably the most confident guy i know.” to your surprise rather than agree with you like he usually would, he just blushed.

“not when it comes to this.” he mumbled. he finally met your eyes. “i really hope that the fact it’s my birthday doesn’t influence your reaction to what i’m about to do.” his blush deepens for a second.

his hands come up and hold your face for a second. you think he’s going to kiss you but he doesn’t move any closer.

“y/n y/ln, i’m madly in love with you. it took a year of not talking consistently for me to realize this, but i was scared if i had told you sooner you’d think i was insane. i love that you remember to take the time to bake people cookies, i love that you’ve put your life into the band, i love that you haven’t given up on our friendship. i love you, y/n. i’ve been terrified that you’d push me away if i told you.”

as he spoke something inside you did a flip.

“shinwon i stopped making cookies for anyone else two years ago. if you had told me sooner i would have made them for you every day. Shinwon i dot know if you know this but i’ve had feelings for you since high school started. the first lunch you didn’t spend with me i realized you had become my life. now, either you get your clammy ass hands off of my cheeks so i don’t break out tomorrow or you kiss me.”

you said all of this never breaking eye contact. you felt him start laughing as he leaned in, smiling into your lips. you only seriously kissed for a few seconds before his giggling caused you to laugh as well.

he pulled back and let go of your face. “how much time do we have before the reservation?”

“about three hours or so, why?”

“perfect.” is all he said before driving back to his house and officilaly making you his the way he wanted for a year.