#go read don’t want you like a best friend by emma alban
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the unspeakable crimes I would commit for a funny lighthearted spicy lesbian regency romance with at least somewhat of a happy ending…
edit: everyone recommending books, you have my eternal love and gratitude, and please keep recommending them, but I meant on screen
#i’m talking on screen#go read don’t want you like a best friend by emma alban#regency lesbians#regency romance#regency era#regency period#recency#period romance#period piece#queer period piece#period movies#movies#films#tv shows#queer films#queer movies#queer tv#queer tv shows#sapphic movie#sapphic film#lesbian films#period lesbians#lesbian#sapphic#wlw#bridgerton#emma movie#emma 2020#pride and prejudice#the buccaneers
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I haven’t read it personally so I cannot recommend it but it seems the book Don’t Want You Like A Best Friend by Emma R Alban is a f/f historical romance! Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner is f/f contemporary sports so not quite but if you look at lists that have it on you might find something. Good luck!
Cleat Cute is actually already part of the corpus! Like I said in the post, I'm just looking to fill in some gaps especially with areas I haven't personally read as much of, and Cleat Cute was recommended to me at a conference earlier this year and I really enjoyed it. I've read the sample of Don't Want You Like a Best Friend and I've heard good things about it, maybe I'll give it another go :)
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Hi! Hope you're doing well 🥰🥰 I have a few more questions for you, some are fic related, others are just for fun.
If you could only pick one flavor of starburst to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be? There is a wrong answer, and if you pick it, I will seriously question your sanity. You don't seem like a mean person, but what is your favorite insult? I'm talking like those really weird ones that make people stop and question if they heard you right.
Do you have any favorite sapphic ships in TV shows or books you've read? What are some songs that make you think of Emorie and why (the answer can just be the vibes, you don't have to go super deep)? Which Valkyrie is your favorite if it isn't Emerie?
Hope you have a fun week!
-Santa
Hello Santa,
I'm so excited to hear from you. I am doing well thank you, I hope you are too.
I love a starburst! I defo think that if we are talking about the originals I would have to go for blackcurrant flavour, and my least favourite would have to be lime. I hope that’s not the wrong answer! 😬
I think my favourite insult is one my Grandma likes to use if someone isn’t doing something the way she wants it done - “You’re as much use as a chocolate teapot”. It's hard to be offended when it is exclaimed by a very cute 85 year old.
I absolutely adore the relationship that develops between Emily Dickinson and Susan Gilbert in the TV show Dickinson. I think the way they develop the chemistry between them is incredible and now I think I have to give the show a rewatch because I just love it!
Book wise Tansy and Gemma's story in The Fiancée Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur is one of my favs but I am also currently loving the relationship of Beth and Gwen in More than a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban which is the sapphic Bridgerton of my dreams!
There are so many songs that give me Emerie and Mor vibes but I will try my best to shorten it down to a few -
Don’t Call Me Angel by Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey gives off the badass female vibes they both have so I always think of them when I hear that song. The Prophecy by Taylor Swift reminds me of that feeling of really wishing it was your turn to find true love and with everyone around them falling in love it makes me think of how they might feel at this point in the canon of the books. Antidote by Fletcher also reminds me of what they could become for each other. I think that they have both been through so much in their lives and I think they could give each other buckets full of love, and their relationship could be incredibly healing for them both.
I love all of the Valkyries so much for different reasons, but I would say that Emerie is the character who I love the most. I was so invested in her character from the second I saw her on the page and I am so excited to see where her story goes.
I hope you also have the most lovely week Santa ❤️
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Traitors of Olympus IV: Fall of the Sun
Forty-Eight: Calex
A Punch of Home
After Calex shot Python with a split arrow of desire and abhorrence, he figured he would die the most respectable way for a hero: falling flat on his face off a two story shield, screaming swears that would make his hooligan cousin blush.
All he could remember from the fall was thinking about how dumb it had been to stand on the edge without any sort of net or rope. Then the world had gone white.
When he first heard voices, especially considering what they were talking about, he thought he was dreaming.
“Wait, are you dating Anubis or Walt? Are you dating two guys?”
After months in the states, he had finally become accustomed to waking in an unfamiliar surrounding with foreign accents. That’s why he was so surprised when he heard a crisp British accent responding, “No. And yes? Anubis is inside Walt’s head.”
“And babe, I thought I had problems.”
Calex’s body felt heavy, like he’d run a marathon while giving Frank Zhang a piggyback ride. The room smelled sterile, like he was back in his mother’s clinic. Someone had a hand clutching his tightly.
That’s when it hit him: this was the first time in months he’d woken so calmly. No nightmares. No panic.
The British voice continued, “Oh, us special pharaoh children have all lost our minds, what with the voices of gods in our heads. Some people say it’s because of the incest in our lineage.”
Calex really wanted out of this chat. He tried to roll onto his back and only managed a grunt.
“I think the teddy bear is up,” someone hummed beside him. The grip on his hand loosened. He could hear water splashing into a container. The familiar scent of black tea gave him the strength to blurrily open his eyes.
Merry smiled down at him. When she leaned forward to inspect him, the scent of her shampoo mixed with the bitterness of the tea: something sweet and raspberry. The sunlight trickling through a window made the auburn in her hair more prominent and her honey skin glow. She wore a clean Camp Half-Blood T-shirt.
Her face had deep bruises. Two pieces of medical tape were stretched across her cheek.
She waved a cup of tea under his nose, like a wake-up elixir. Her smile was playful, but didn’t stretch as far as it normally did.
“Merry,” his words came out as a croak. He tried to smile back, and found half his face hurt to move. “How did I deserve to end up in Elysium?”
“Wow there, Teddy Bear. No Elysium for you yet.” She set the tea cup down to squeeze his hand again. His gut wretched to recognize the extent of her bruises. “Just setting a world record on making an anti-worrier worry. You’ve been asleep for roughly twenty hours.”
Twenty hours? Calex’s eyes widened. He glanced around the room. He was on the floor, in a sleeping bag. Merry knelt beside him. On Merry’s other side, someone else was tucked into a sleeping bag with strawberry blonde hair spilling across the pillow.
Calex breathed in relief to recognize Kally.
The IV stand beside her made his stomach twist further.
On Kally’s other side, someone was burrowed in a ball in their sleeping bag—presumably Pax. Last in the corner was a sickeningly pale figure with wires sticking out of its mouth, like a Frankenstein contraption. Another IV stand loomed there, making Calex think about Kakata.
There was a chair at the foot of that sleeping bag. A disgruntled middle-aged man sat in it, reading a book with a pistol in his lap. Dr. Howard Claymore didn’t look up once as he turned the page.
Before Calex could roll to look at the other side of the room, someone appeared beside Merry and smacked him across the face.
Calex made a muffled sound. Getting assaulted first thing when you wake up was unpleasant. Maybe worse, Calex felt the skin on his forehead crack. A scab he didn’t know he had busted.
“You, Calex Rupin McKenzie, are the thickest bloke I’ve EVER met!” a tiny blonde with pink streaks in her hair exploded at him.
Calex wanted to give her a proper greeting of, “How do you do? Please piss off,” but he was stumped with the strange sense that he knew this girl.
Merry wasn’t reacting like the girl was a threat. She looked more amused as she moved out of the girl’s way.
The name popped into his head. “Sadie,” Calex said, stunned, “Sadie Kane.”
She was obviously several kilometers ahead of him on the think train. “Yes! Sadie Kane. Do you have ANY idea how much you’ve freaked out Gretchen and your dad? They both think you’re dead! Since we were kids, I always assumed there wasn’t much a brain behind that stupidly handsome face, but, seriously! How could you be so thick? Not a word? Not one bloody phone call?!”
Calex’s mind was scrambling. Sadie Kane. He vaguely remembered it. Before they moved to St. Albans out of London, his little sister, Gretchen, was in the second stage of her primary education. She had three annoying little schoolmates, Sadie, Emma, and… Liz? Was Liz the one that almost fainted every time he walked in the room? Or was that Emma?
But that had been years ago. Gretchen only saw Sadie every few months, and that had become sparse to almost nonexistent since—
“Emma and Liz gave me a ring and told me to check on Gretchen. And here we have the Jerk of the Year all fine and well—”
“Uh, Lady Sadie, dude still looks like he was stampeded by a pack of Party Ponies,” someone said. A hand appeared on Sadie’s shoulder to pull her back a little.
Calex could see Leo’s crazy hair sticking out. He didn’t look amused when he made eye contact with Calex. The glance turned into a frown when his eyes trailed to where Calex assumed Pax was curled into a ball.
Calex’s wanted to vomit. Gretchen? His Dad?
Another sight made Calex’s stomach pitch even further down, potentially proving it had stayed with Kaos when the rest of him left.
There was another occupant in the room behind Sadie and Leo. The person sat in a chair by the door and a small table. Despite being chained to the chair and gagged, the sight still gave Calex shivers. The boy was probably 15 with a blue-tipped Mohawk. His burgundy dress shirt and leather vest were covered in dirt and dust. Blood soaked his right pant leg and one of his eyes was swollen shut.
Lapis Pax flicked Calex off in greeting as best he could with his restraints.
Before Calex could panic, Sadie huffed, “He’s about as dangerous as a piece of lint right now. I’m the one you need to worry about.”
That could only mean one thing: Sadie, Leo, and Jason must have successfully rescued Hemera from Lapis. Eris’ plans must have crumbled.
But, if they put Calex and his friends in the same room as Lapis, that also meant…
Calex glanced at the other side of the room. Axel was passed out in a sleeping bag beside Calex. On his other side, there appeared to be a mini garden lot. After a moment of scrutiny, he could discern Euna’s form, curled up on a mound of moss and flowers. Kronos’s scythe was tied tightly to her hand with vines.
In that far corner, there was a shuddering, towel-covered bird cage.
Other than Euna, everyone was unarmed.
Calex swallowed to finish the thought, If they put us in the same room as this crazed bloke, they still don’t know if we’re allies or enemies. Leo and Sadie are probably here to keep us in cue. They should have been over this ally vs. traitor thing, right? Though, Calex had just helped Euna steal a piece of Kaos, and, judging by his lack of nightmares, he guessed—and really hoped—she’d used it to fight Phobetor. Was God murder illegal?
“Gretchen and Mr. McKenzie had to move in with your granddad and nan since they couldn’t afford the flat in St. Albans. At least they had some closure with Mrs. McKenzie and Tom.” Tears rimmed Sadie’s eyes and Calex felt the emotions that he’d repressed for months threaten to crumble him. “But your body was never accounted for. All they heard was your other, daft granddad ranting that you’d be taken by an angel.”
Your body…
Calex could hardly breathe. With Tiwa and Tom slowly succumbing to death and the nonstop madness that ensued, Calex hadn’t though as much about what had happened to his living family. Just that he was ashamed of facing them after he abandoned—
Calex swallowed and corrected himself. Not after he abandoned his Mom and brother. After he tried to save his family from an inevitable fate. His biological father, Eros, and Axel had reminded him he wasn’t a coward for failing and running from something as unstoppable as Death.
Still, how could he forget what that would do to Gretchen and Winston? He really was that thick? Shame clogged his throat.
Calex focused on the one good thing in that rant. “Grandad’s alive?” his voice shook.
The idea of that crazy old man poking him out of bed with a walking cane and an anecdote about how laziness doesn’t bring prosper…
Tears streamed down Calex’s cheeks. He didn’t realize how bad they were until he felt Merry’s hand clasp back over his. He tried to keep them quiet, but a hiccup choked his throat.
“Maybe you’d know that if you’d have given them a call!” Sadie snapped, though, her anger seemed to break at his demeanor.
Calex wished her anger wouldn’t go away. He deserved her rage and so much worse. “Oh gods, I missed their funerals,” he choked. The hole in his stomach felt like it was expanding to encompass his whole body. If it kept going, there would be nothing left of him.
“Hey,” Merry said. She raised a hand towards Sadie that Calex knew to be threatening Shut up, or I’ll have you doing the hokey-pokey. Gently, she pulled Calex up and dragged him against her. Calex burrowed his face into her skin and let the sobs go. He’d been holding so many for so long, mad at himself and at Death itself. Now, he could just be sad Tom and Tiwa weren’t here and never would be here. With Sadie around, everything felt more real. Someone who knew his parents and siblings personally. Someone else cared—really cared—that two wonderful people had left this world to go to Elysium.
“Teddy Bear,” Merry hummed into his hair. “We had a lot going on here. Remember? Getting kidnapped by Santiago. All our quests. Being on the run. From what I heard Thalia say, you’ve even been busying yourself with two different Underworlds.”
“That doesn’t matter,” he mumbled, thinking of Gretchen sobbing as she and Winston went through his, Tom’s, and Tiwa’s stuff as they left the flat Winston and Tiwa had been so proud to live in with their combined salaries. Their home. How Gretchen and Winston’s life would have been collapsing around them, losing their family, their home, probably Gretchen’s school.
“I know it doesn’t make it any easier,” Merry whispered, her own voice breaking. “But, we can’t change what we’ve done in the past. We can’t pretend it didn’t happen. We should let ourselves cry. But, we can’t get consumed thinking about what we could have done differently. We need to focus on what we can do in the future. And, you, your sister, and your dad will still have a future together.” Her tone took on a distant quality and Calex could feel her shake.
Calex was horrified to realize he hadn’t asked about her quest to save Percy’s little sister from Hiro. Had he really been that dense all over again? He didn’t know if Merry succeeded in rescuing the baby or if Hiro had given her those bruises. He’d even forgotten, in all his stupidity, that Merry didn’t like to be touched by men.
Calex choked back some of his sobs and tried to withdraw.
“Uh-uh,” Merry said, clutching him tighter, “You’re staying right here. I need a Teddy Bear, too.”
Sadie cleared her throat. Her voice was quieter and gentler. “They had memorial services. Last I heard, your granddad was quarantined in Kakata, but, I’ll admit, that was a bit ago.”
Calex managed to twist away from Merry a little, to see Sadie’s expression. Her face had puffed up from tears. Leo turned away from them, awkwardly toying with some wires in his lap. Mr. Claymore hadn’t looked up from his book, but Calex also noted that he hadn’t turned a page during the whole conversation.
Calex had expected Lapis to be rolling his dark eyes. Instead, he saw Lapis’ eyes were also red rimmed. His hands had tightened into fists. If Lapis could have cast magic with his gaze, his glare would have melted Merry from existence.
“I need to head back to Brooklyn House, but you’re making me a promise before I leave. Once you get all this nonsense sorted, really, by the end of the day, you’re going to contact Gretchen and Mr. McKenzie,” Sadie informed him.
Calex tried to speak. At first, his throat felt too thick. After a few swallows, he managed, “I’ll do you one better. By the end of the week, I’ll also make sure I can see them in person.”
Merry flinched.
Calex pulled one hand out of his sleeping bag to squeeze her shoulder. “I’m not gone for good, but I need to do this.” What exactly, he wasn’t sure. There was no way to make up for disappearing without explanation. Despite Merry reminding him about all their trials, he could have called. Hell, he could have written them a bloody letter in that timeframe.
“Thank you,” was all he could find for Sadie.
His heart was still a torrent of emotions, but—if he was really leaving Camp Half-Blood soon—he needed to keep it together a little longer. Calex sat up, taking most of his weight off Merry. He hadn’t realized until then how much she’d been struggling to keep them both up. Any longer, and they likely would have collapsed back onto Kally’s sleeping bag and this wasn’t that kind of slumber party.
Sadie huffed, rubbing the back of her hand under her eyes. “Look at you, Mr. Calex McKenzie, thinking you’re so important. You’re not the only one in here that I need to chat with.”
What she did next made Calex blink, wondering if he was dreaming or if Sadie was a total lunatic.
Sadie stood up, withdrew a can of Fancy Feast from her pocket, cracked it open, and set it beside Axel’s sleeping bag. She took a step back, folded her arms, and tapped her foot impatiently.
Leo spun back around, grinning. He stood beside Sadie, and Calex couldn’t help but think there was a bit of malice in his grin.
Their leader was flopped on his face, sleeping much more peacefully then Calex had ever seen. Axel’s tufted ears were visible at the edge of his sleeping bag. They twitched.
Calex was about to say that the Fancy Feast can seemed a bit rude when Axel rose in a very feminine, un-Axel like stretch. He made a low purring noise that Calex had never heard him make.
“Mmm, Sadie, you do know how to provide a balanced breakfast,”[1] Axel said. When he sat up, Axel winced and touched his chest. When the sleeping bag slipped down, Calex could see bandages stretched across the skin and a blood-soaked blotch towards the center. Axel looked quite pleased. “That was quite a close call. I’ve never had someone literally rip my host out of me before.”
Axel reached out to pick up the can of Fancy Feast.
Sadie and Leo exchanged a glance.
Merry made a face.
“Mate,” Calex said, “No.”
Even Lapis coughed a laugh into his gag when Axel started chomping down. Giggles erupted from the balled form of a supposedly sleeping Pax.
“You two… know each other?” Calex asked, glancing to Sadie and the bizarrely acting Axel.
Sadie sighed. “I do tend to know everyone important. But no. I know the goddess that’s highjacked your mate’s body. One that was supposed to leave once we got the battle sorted.”
Axel licked his lips, then the back of his hand, using it to wipe off the rest of his face and behind his ears.
By now, the laughter from Pax’s balled form was unrelenting.
“Dude, this is great!” Leo cheered. “We should have brought a camera. You think the Romans will be scared of the Leonis Caput if they see this?”
“You should know, napping and hygiene are sacred for cats,” Axel said, “It’s not a joking matter.”
“Bast, drop him,” Sadie chided like Axel was a mouse the goddess had proudly kidnapped. “He doesn’t belong to you. He’s not even Egyptian.”
“I’ve told you before. I’m a cat; everything belongs to me,” Axel said with a coy grin.
Some of Calex’s anguish cracked. He couldn’t help but choke back a laugh. This was the weirdest thing he’d ever seen, and he was a demigod. That was definitely not his mate and he could only image how Axel would feel when he found out what was said or that he’d demolished a can of cat food.
“Besides,” Axel—Bast continued, “He is still a cat, at least in some manner, so he does belong to me, as he is part of my domain. And…” Axel raised one hand to stroke his goatee, then rolled his fingers across the part of his chest that wasn’t covered in bandages. “I’m very fond of this host body.”
Axel held out his hands and admired his missing claws with the same fondness a Jersey shore girl might admire her nails.
Someone cleared their throat from the doorway.
Calex felt his jaw drop. Even Merry jumped.
Will Solace stood there in a long doctor’s lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck. He looked exhausted. Dark circles encased his eyes and he was pale. In a towel bundle in his arms, mewing kittens squirmed.
“Hi,” he said with a tired smile.
Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed! Stay tuned next week for another Calex chapter, Not Enough Lollipops.
[1] Yes, it’s cute that Riordan has Bast eat Fancy Feast. But this is not a balanced diet for your kitty.
#Traitors of Olympus#Heroes of Olympus#Percy Jackson and the Olympians#Calex#Sadie#Leo#Will#Merry#ALL the unconscious people#Not really--they wouldn't fit in one room#unless you stacked them like a clown car.....#hrmmmmmm
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