#go queen i hope your life is fucking awesome

[widevibratobitch]

im early for my doctors appointment so im just chilling on the bench outside. its a busy street so im listening to my special playlist for vibing on a loop (its just 3 songs), staring at people passing by and judging whose gender i want to steal the most. i need to do this more often this is great

[witchykittyy]

Agreement 💖

@marcyyywukinnie asked: Hi could you make a fanfic Yandare Blitzo x reader x Yandare Stolas where they just fight about reader, before coming to terms that theyll share them??

I am soooooooo sorry about how late this is!!! I really am. Life's been really hectic and I went through a very depressive episode but I promise to be on top of stuff more often! I really hope you like it! ❤ Sorry if its not really enough fighting per say. 😅

TW: Demons, Hell, Blood, Arguing, Cursing (lots of it), Mentions of kidnapping, Stalking, and other yandere themes.

"Damn that was a fuck ton of clients!!!" Millie jumped up into Moxxie's arms pumped and covered in blood. "Yea it was and it was so fucking awesome! But I think imma head in for the night." You're the newest member of I.M.P. A few days ago you saw their help wanted poster and decided you needed the extra money so you decided to join. You got along really well with Moxxie, Millie and surprisingly Loona. The only person who doesn't seem to like you is Blitzo. He was always staring at you. Watching your every move like he's waiting for you to do something wrong. So you always tend to keep your distance.

"Yea I think me and Millie have had enough excitement for today as well. Goodbye sir! Goodbye Y/N!" "Bye Blizto! Bye N/N!" Moxxie and Millie wave goodbye as they leave. "Whatever, bye." Loona continues on reading her magazine. "Bye guys!" You wave goodbye to them sweetly. "Bye lovebirds! Don't get too kinky while I'm away!" You can almost hear Moxxie rolling his eyes at those words and you chuckle. Now its just you, Loona and... Blitzo. Though your back is turned you can feel his eyes burning into info our skin, its very unsettling so with out turning around you decided to say your goodbyes and leave. "Bye Blitzo! Bye Loona!" "Bye dork." Blitzo doesnt say anything and you start to walk off sill feeling his gaze on you. Suddenly he says "See you soon Y/N"

You got home and were extremely exhausted as you flopped down onto your semi comfortable bed. Due to only recently having a job you dont have that much money to buy yourself a nice place so for right now you're stuck in this crummy apartment. Even though you didnt mind your situation someone else did.

Stolas has been watching you from the day he saw you in the I.M.P headquarters while he was visiting Blitzo. He's been obssessed with you ever since he saw you and has stalked you finding out your likes, habits, dislikes and everything else about you. He truly believes that you deserve so much better than what you have. He loves you and believes you deserve to be treated like a queen. A problem with that is that Blizto is also in love with you. Stolas notices the stares he give you and the longing look in his eyes. He's sure Blitzo has noticed his interest as well and thats probably why Blitzo hasnt spoken to him. But nevermind that.

You change into your PJ', get into bed and start scrolling through Helltok. "Ah shit its getting dark and I have to work tomorrow" you sigh. "I guess I should go to bed as Moxxie would say thats the responsible thing to do." You turn off your phone and go to bed. Stolas stares at you from the window wishing that he were next to you.

After a while he sees someone climbing onto your balcony. He's about to go stop him but then the two lock eyes. "Stolas?! The fuck are you doing here?!" He almost tumbles off the balcony from the surprise. "I should be asking you the same question Blitzo." "Look dipshit im doing the same thing you are but going inside." Blizto starts opening the window. "Wait! We shouldnt do that it invading her privacy." He goes to stop him but then Blitzo slaps his hand away. "Oh and stalking her isnt invading her privacy?! Look just leave ok if you dont wanna do this. Not like I want you stealing my girl anyways." He grumbles the last part but Stolas is able to hear him. "Well I sure as hell am not leaving her alone with you." "Then come in with me." He grabs Stolas's hand and stealthly brings him into the room. Stolas blushes at the sudden contact. 'Wait why'd he blush? What the hell is happening to him?'

You're dead asleep on the bed. "So smart ass what do we do now?" He tries to cover up the fact that grabbing Blitzo's hand made him blush. "We look around bird brain." They start looking around the crummy place, dodging the clothes thrown on the floor. Eventually after looking around for a while Blitzo decides to look your computer as Stolas watches you sleep peacefully. Out of the corner of his eye Stolas sees him breaking into your computer. "Hey!" He yells silently. "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm looking through her computer dipshit." Blitzo rolls his eyes as though its obvious. "Well yes I know that but why?" "To make sure she ain't seeing some other loser."

Blitzo searches and suddenly stops dead in his tracks. "You need to see this birdie." They stare at the computer reading you're messages with some guy named Dennis. "Oh hell no" they growl out in unison. You whine and shift in your sleep as they go dead silent. Once they're sure you're not awake they continue. "We can't let this shit happen." Blitzo growls with malice. "I completely agree. This dirt bag isn't good enough for our Y/N." Stolas nods. "Wait, our?" "Well yes I suppose we'll need to team up to stop this guy and ensure that she stays with us. Is that an ok arrangement?" Stolas questions. "Yea.. Thatd be great." Blitzo looks down blushing madly.

[chicken-wayng]

If Rhaenyra was truly a Valyrian supremacist she wouldn’t have had three kids with Harwin Strong. Also her mother is half Andal just like her siblings.

She’s not a supremacist like Daemon but I do think she’s a narcissist, genuinely believing the world revolves around her. That’s what made the rift between her and Alicent inevitable imo, she expected Alicent to want to be nothing more than her dutiful lady in waiting for the rest of her life with no ambition or desire of her own.

Rhaenyra does mellows down when she’s older, mainly because Jace keeps calling out her bs but you can’t truly change who you are. Even in 2x03 although she desperate for peace a part of her was still expecting Team Green to simply give up rather compromising because the idea of either her or Jace stepping down was incomprehensible.

So prev anon was right that 2x08 only worked because Alicent has degraded herself back to her bare bones, she’s exactly how Rhaenyra wanted her to be 20 years ago: the dutiful handmaiden who will wait on Rhaenyra and her sons, no wants of her own.

I disagree. I don't think Nyra sleeping with Harwin (+ having his children) is enough evidence that she wasn't also a Targ supremacist. I grew up in Arkansas, where racism is still very much alive. Yet all of those racist fucks would still get down dirty with a black Mamacita because they're attracted to her (but just don't respect/view her as a person, which a lot of Arkansans don't see women as to begin with). So it is possible to mess around with someone and literally have not a drop of respect for them. Also - still from what I've seen in Arkansas - it's possible to have a mixed heritage and be racist towards part of it and prefer the other more. In MY OPINION, what I observe from Nyra is similar to this. I especially think after she marries Daemon it becomes worse. I think her Targ Supremacy and Bastardphobia run hand in hand (her bastards are okay because they're Targaryen/her's while others are a sin, type of mindset). Also doesn't she say to Laenor that each time she had hoped they were his? So she hoped she was carrying his children not Harwin's, is what I gleaned from that line (also I'm thinking 3 way but that's a different post). However I do understand what you're saying and I don't believe it's like full racism but more of a casual racism, like I don't think she's fully aware of it.

I do agree that the rift between Nyra and Allie is because of both of their mindsets and I do think Nyra never thought about Alicent's future more than how it would connect to her's. I truly do think if she did think about it she did think Allie was always going to be her's in some way, probably never marrying so Rhaenyra could spend her time with her whenever. I also think that Alicent knew this and that's why she stripped herself of her titles/colors to see Nyra in 2×8. She wanted Nyra to see her as the human she is but seeing that confirmed to Nyra her own supremacy.

Also I absolutely love how they show us Jace confronting Nyra. It reminds me a lot of confronting my mom. My mom has 3 bastards (myself being the most awesome) and she's also racist. It's out of her love for me that she's starting to unlearn a lot of toxic behavior that she's realizing came from her dad. I see a lot of Nyra in this, however Nyra doesn't have a child who believes love is why we were put on this earth and we are all a part of a huge puzzle that only forms it's picture when we share our stories. Plus she's in a world so dominated by the patriarchy even as Queen she has no fucking say. Jace is trying but unable to properly verbalize it cuz he's still a child (say what you want, until someone is 20 I don't fully count them as an adult, plus Jace is like 17 when he dies, right?) and has so much weight put on him. Plus terms like "bastardphobia" aren't a thing, it's just the norm.

Thanksya for sharing your opinion and allowing me to do so as well!! I hope you're having a good day💜

[gadriezmannsgirl]

HEY BESTIE!! just found your blog and I'm about to read your work. But I was wondering if you can write me a request? Please. One where Pedri (my love) is dating a female f1 redbull driver and how their relationship would be giving the schedule and stuff or if you don't know about f1 (idk) you can do like an actress!reader and pedri having a crush on her and pining over her? If you don't wanna do these, I completely understand! But be safe and have an amazing day/night.

Hi darling! Yes I can! Pedri is life, isn't he? Freaking precious (Even tho my weakness is Gavi😅). Tysm, I really hope you like my writing, please let me know!

I do know my bits of F1, not a really hardcore fan of it so I'm gonna take the Actress!Reader since I don't really know everything from it.

I did this while waiting for my class at Uni, so I hope you like it. And be safe too! Have a great day/night

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Hard Crushing - Pedri González x Actress!Reader

"Oh my god, Pedri. You're really watching again The Queen's Gambit?" Fernando, Pedri's brother, asked him after sitting on the couch next to him

"Yes I am, what about it?" Pedri said not taking his eyes off of the TV

"You're obsessed with her, aren't you?"

"I'm not, she's just a good actress!" Fernando gave him a look raising his eyebrows "Ok, maybe I do am a bit obsessed with her. But she's Beautiful, have you given her a good look? Fucking gorgeous" Pedri shook his head "And don't even get me started on her look in Last Night in Soho... AND! During Black Widow? My goodness" Pedri groaned already picturing you in said movies "Also, there were a few rumors saying she's going soon to be appearing in CM, it'll be awesome to see her as a doctora"

"CM?"

"Chicago MED" Pedri replied almost instantly looking at his brother crazily for not recognizing the TV show "Si aparece ahí, me encantaría tener las mil y un enfermedades solo para que me cure" (If she's appearing there, I'd love to have a thousand sickness just so she could cure me)

"Tú estas loco" (You're crazy)

"Thank god, she talks Spanish too" Pedri says out of nowhere ", that way I wouldn't embarrass myself more than I would probably do if I ever get to meet her"

... ...

"What do you mean Y/N Y/L/N will be here?" Pedri asked in disbelief stopping his training to hear the gossip from Balde, Araujo and Ansu

"Yes, she's coming to Barcelona apparently she'll be filming a movie here so she's gonna stay for a while" Araujo explained

"And she's fan of the Barça so" Balde ended

"I know she's fan of Barça, you don't have to tell me things I clearly know" Pedri stated making Gavi laugh "Tell me more about this visit, that I didn't knew about"

"¡CHICOS!" They were interrupted by Xavi "It's not time to gossip, we've a Clásico to win!"

Pedri watched Ansu, Araujo and Balde run off not without telling them a quick "We'll talk later"

... ...

"What do you mean I'll be cooking in front and for Y/N Y/L/N?" Gavi, Ansu, Alejandro, Ferran, Araujo, Lewandoski and Ter Stegen laughed out loud after hearing the news and watching their friend's reaction

"Yes, she's coming to Camp Nou for a whole day, she'll see you training, we'll be giving her a tour and after that we'll be doing a video with her and you were the chosen one. That will make you both good" One of the staff said "Or if you don't want to do it, we can have Gavi or Lewandowski, they were also very asked for"

"¡NO, YO LO HAGO!" (NO, I'LL DO IT!) Pedri yelled surprising the poor woman, the guys laughing once more before he composed himself and added a quiet "I mean... I don't have any problem to do it. I'd love to"

"Okay, it's settled then. Next Tuesday, Pedri"

Gavi speaks up after the woman left "This is your big chance, bro. Meeting Y/N Y/L/N, the girl you've been practically in love with ever since 2019"

"What if I mess up? Say something weird? What if she thinks I'm crazy?"

"I don't think you can mess it up that much, Pedri" Ansu said shaking his head "She's a normal girl, you can do this, I mean... What's the worst thing you can do or say to her?"

"Be confident" Araujo said showing him a thumbs up

... ...

Next Tuesday

Practice had already ended, you had already met briefly the players and they were practicing while you were given the little tour around Camp Nou.

Also, while you were getting makeup done, Pedri was showering and getting himself dressed.

"How will I be able to not embarrass myself in front of her, if just by hearing her name I go like if I have a worm inside me?"

"That's a bit gross, dude"

"¡Joder!" Pedri turned around quickly nearly giving himself a whiplash and soon wished he hadn't.

You were standing there right besides him.

"Hijo de...- Ya la cagué" (Son of a... I fucked it up already) Pedri mumbled to himself but you laughed completely hearing him

"También hablo en Español, cariño" (I also speak Spanish, darling) You said giggling finding really cute his awkwardness.

Truth is that you absolutely loved Pedri and were also a bit nervous, he was your favourite player currently at Barça. And meeting him was like a dream come true.

"Don't worry about it" You said "You're my favourite player and I'm sweating my ass off too" He laughed out loud turning around to see you wearing a smile on your face.

"I'm sorry, you're just... Incredible" You blushed "Like, I've seen all of your movies and series"

"You're incredible too" you said "Like... I always see your matches and you never fail to amaze me" Pedri smiled feeling himself blushing at your words.

"Thank you, it means a lot"

"What are you cooking today?"

"Honestly, I don't know" You both laugh lightly "I just hope that whatever I'm making won't give you a stomach ache"

"You can't be that bad"

"The only thing I do great is serve a glass of water and burned rice" You laughed

"I trust you" You said smiling lightly "You'll do great" You showed your fist up, waiting for him to bump his with yours, when you were called to start recording

"God, she's so beautiful" Pedri mumbled but you still heard it

"Thanks. You're pretty handsome too" He groaned making you laugh. You were teasing him but at the same time you were waiting for him to lose his nerves and you, lose yours.

... ...

Pedri thought this was the worst and best day of his life, you were chatting with him while he was cooking.

Don't get him wrong, you're beautiful and chatting with you was easy, his nerves turned into excitement while talking. But also, the talking with you made it for him a bit impossible to fully concentrate in the cooking.

He just hoped everything tasted good. Or eatable.

"This is really spicy" You said taking a bite from the chicken and coughing up a bit "Like really, really spicy" The whole crew laughed and Pedri covered his hands

"I'm sorry" He said

"No. I like it, I just wasn't expecting that much" You pronounced That heavier making them laugh once more "But still this is delicious" you gave another bite to the chicken showing a thumbs up

"Rate 0/10?"

"9" You said inmediately "For those who say Pedri can't cook"

"Yo tambien lo digo" (I also say it) Pedri, himself said it in disbelief, you liked his food.

"Probablemente me de un dolor de estómago mas tarde, pero, por ahora está buenísimo" (It'll probably give me a stomach ache later, but, for now this is good)

"Esto ha sido Cocina en el Nou, si te ha gustado deja un like y sigue al Barça en todas las redes sociales" (This has been Kitchen in the Nou, if you liked this video leave a like y follow Barça in all social medias) Pedri said as you both waved at the camera

You stood besides him giving him a hug and soon the cameras stopped rolling only for the staff to bring you a Barça shirt.

It was your size with Pedri's name and his number 8.

"Thank you!" You said smiling. Both of you posed for a picture as Pedri quickly signed the shirt for you "It was a pleasure meeting you" You said hugging him once more.

It was almost time for you to go

"CanIhaveyournumber?" He asked quickly as you blinked a few times to recover from his quickness

"Pardon?"

"Can I have your number? It was really nice meeting you too and I would love to chat with you more, without cameras if you'd like" Pedri said.

You smiled

"Only if you take me out on a date"

"Only one?"

"You need to win me over, González. If you keep this moves up, you'll do it in a snap of fingers tho"

You didn't need to say it twice.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

@gaviypedrisbride

[aster-petrichor]

Bridgerton S3 - brainrot rant

EVERYTHING

IT WAS EVERYTHING

SO YEAH

I'm struggling to find words so lets just get right into it. Ep5 itself was wow. and did they have to end every episode on basically a cliffhanger (i loved the tension, delicious).

It was. steamy. that scene with the yk mirror and the sofa and they talking and giggling.

'The firmness of your lips parted just so.. and then there are other parts I've been.. dreaming about' - Colin Bridgeron (a total fucking simp)

and then the cut to Anthony and Kate to Franchesca totally infodumping on this dude in the cutest fucking way <3<3<3

not to mention Benerdicts whole entire arc of s1 bicoded to s2 cishet to s3 bi-poly vibes in a very slay girlypop way and I genuinly think the show in this season has managed to do queer representation correctly and I'm just so happy about that.

Also I'm all over the place rn cuz I just finished watching but like for people who know book stuff. I was NOT expecting that for Francesca WOW YES (did anyone else notice the mirroring between that meeting and the one her mother had with her father?).

Also in the final ball the way Pen's dress looks green and then looks blue when she gets on the stage is !!!!! so yes wow pretty yes.

Did anyone else notice the way Violet fixated on the guys mouth when he was eating. The Bridgerton's really do all be like that. I appreciate the attention to detail from the showmakers there wow.

On the note of Francesca's upcoming arc. I somehow expected El and Ben to be it. But there are NO complaints from my end about this development.

more colin quote: "If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you. Then I will be a very lucky man indeed."

Also Pen and her mother and that entire dynamic was a Moment and a half and I could try and write essays on it when I'm more awake.

Yk what lets talk Cressida. And her evil to good to sad evil arc she had going on. Because wow she has me feeling so many emotions both for and against her. Did they really end her arc the way they did were her being shipped off with evil aunt because I really was hoping she would either get away or marry debling (who seems to have vansihed) and that really sad. Like the blackmail was so wrong of her and I do think Pen may have just helped her if she had asked in a nice person way but she was desparate and alone and young and like she knew her actions were bad, but she was trying to save herself from worse and that sucks. She is giving August from YR but less intense and more tragic. I do wish she had a better outcome but also penance? Idk unsatifying end.

Tilly. Wow. She is kinda awesome and like. yeah. slay.

Danbury as always just ate. She walked in and slayed the floor down. I did like that little reference to the spin off Queen Charlotte they did there with the scene with Violet refering to the paper crowns and friendship. That felt like cracking a knuckle.

I think I'll go and reblog other s3 posts now and lose my mind elsewhere. Farewell and happy watching!!

[chobani-flip]

so... I've been tagged by @newtkelly (WHO HAS A WIP IN THE WORKS WHICH IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME OMG GO READ ALL THE FICS I LOOOOOOVE) and @alchemistc (THE AMAZING ALCHEMISTIC MAGE OF AWESOME WRITERY POWERS WHO WRITES TRULY EXCELLENT FICS ????DAILY????? GO READ) to put my music on shuffle & list the first 10 songs + tag 10 people

but

the thing is... i... kinda don't listen to music? 👀👀👀 i know, i know, believe me.

like, i am not an alien, i have heard music before, but i don't go out of my way to listen to music in my regular day to day life.

so rather than just not taking part, or trying hard to come up with songs i really love a lot (which, they totally exist! but i can never think of one until i hear it on the radio or in a shop or as background song on a show or something) im gonna tell you about the audiobooks i found really fucking cool and my one podcast i adore:

the podcast AKA the only reason i have spotify on my laptop :

Ridiculous Crime (iHeartRadio) -

Zaron Burnett and Elizabeth Dutton talk about "outlandish capers, heists and cons" to "shine a light on the absurd side of criminality". "Always 99% murder-free and 100% ridiculous". i adore this podcast so fucking much, i am willing to 15sec+ manually skip the embedded ads that appear in LOOOONG chunks at the start, at the 20 minute mark, at the 40 minute mark and at the end of the episodes. also, Elizabeth Dutton is a 911 fan and she's the one whose endorsement finally made me decide to give the show another try. like, srsly, if you've gone off true crime because while you enjoy listening to RL stories and mysteries but all the sensationalizing of brutal crimes just got too much made it impossible to consume? THIS IS THE PODCAST FOR YOU (just srsly, skip the ads, they're fucking annoying

⬆is one of my favourite episodes

the audiobooks:

Vital Organs - Suzie Edge

this is a book full of extremely interesting stories from history connected to various bodyparts.

this is the tagline: From Napoleon's penis to Van Gogh's ear, from Marie Antoinette's teeth to Marie Curie's bone marrow, this book brings together the remarkable stories of body parts that have made history. and you might get the impression that it's going to be a bunch of kings and queens and famous people from that (and like yeah, they're there obviously) but there are so many fascinating stories about people you've never heard of? it's really cool. the one that really stuck with me was about the creator of the Braille writing system, Louis Braille.

Ask A Historian: 50 Surprising Answers To Things You Always Wanted To Know - Greg Jenner

(he also has a podcast, my friend loves it - that's how i found out about the book - but i have space for only one podcast in my heart)

abso-fucking-lutely excellent and interesting and hilarious. remember the tumblr post about the corpse pope put on trial? well, that one was one of the questions Greg Jenner got asked and he talks about the Cadaver Synod in great detail. Mansa Musa, ever heard of him? No? well, google the name and you'll be just as outraged as i was when you realise just how massive and influential he and his Mali Empire was and how your (generally really good) history classes and textbooks never fucking mentioned him. you'll also find out when the first monday was, and why the devil is a goat, and what the Flintstones ot right about Stone Age

A Curious History of Sex - Kate Lister

(also has a podcast apparently, but like i said i can only manage one)

It's a really really cool and interesting book 😁 here's the tagline:

This is not a comprehensive study of every sexual quirk, kink and ritual across all cultures throughout time, as that would entail writing an encyclopaedia. Rather, this is a drop in the ocean, a paddle in the shallow end of sex history, but I hope you will get pleasantly wet nonetheless.

Savage Appetites: Four True Stories of Women, Crime and Obsession - Rachel Monroe

so this isn't true crime, but it's about true crime, it explores why people, and women especially, are fascinated by it. it's not particularly accusatory or judgemental since the author is interrogating her own fascination, but it doesn't shy away from the nastier implications and sides of being enthralled by true crime.

honestly, this describes it really well: Combining personal narrative, reportage, and a sociological examination of violence and media in the 20th and 21st centuries, Savage Appetites is a "corrective to the genre it interrogates" (The New Statesman), scrupulously exploring empathy, justice, and the persistent appeal of crime.

currently listening to: Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlansky

did you know that the word salacious comes from salt? because people believed that salt made you horny and virile? and also that it protected you from evil spirits so in some places in the world (like France and others) in the middle ages, infants would be bathed in brine and salted before a baptism? and that salad is a salad and also from salt because the Romans loved to salt their assorted veggies, when they weren't making garum, the salty stinky fermented fishsauce? AND THAT SOLDIER IS A SOLDIER BECAUSE IN SOME PARTS THEY USED TO BE PAID IN SALT AND SOL AND SALT AND AAAAA i love it so much

ok 🤣 im done. now, i am aware that this was very much not the assignment if the assignment was getting recommendations for music, but if the assignment was finding out more about the person behind the blog, well, here you are 😁 these are the things i find cool and interesting

__

no pressure tagging: @wakeupnew @tiltingheartand @26-cats-in-a-trenchcoat

@kinard-buckley @bugboybuck @mistmarauder

@jackmichaela @do-androids-dream-ao3acc @so-that-was-okay

@apartmentsmoke

[biscuits-of-bagend]

Andy Murray - The Flowers We'll Remember

I made this playlist halfway through the week, in between victories one and two. It tells me the story of Andy Murray's career as I experienced it, through songs that mean a lot to me, which is to say it might not make much sense to anyone else! So I've included some explanations below.

The title is related to a passage from the Ali Smith novel 'Summer'. It's about a summer day that told the gods it wanted to last forever, which the gods found hilarious.

Halfway Right by Linkin Park - 'I scream at myself when there's nobody left to fight', representing my earliest memories of Andy Murray, which involved a lot of him screaming at himself.

Hard Times by Paramore - Losing to Federer and Nadal and later Djokovic, but jauntily. A young man's losses.

The Heart Never Lies by McFly - 2012 Wimbledon final on-court interview 🥺

Love Forty Down by Frank Turner - I know he was 40-0 up at the end of the Wimbledon final, but functionally going from 40-0 to 40-Adv is basically the same thing 😂

Hold On by Twin Atlantic - back injuries :/ still sort of felt like it would all work out okay though, at least that was my understanding of it I think.

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen - Davis Cup at the end of 2015 through to World Tour Finals at the end of 2016. A euphoric period (ignore any losses to Djokovic in grand slam finals, we don't need to talk about those), but hard to look back on without thinking about what was coming.

Airfield by Enter Shikari - The Hip. Queens 2017 & 2017 Wimbledon QF to Australian Open 2019 'retirement'.

Wetsuit by The Vaccines - so get a hip operation, come on, come on

Get Better by Frank Turner - Bursting back to life/resurfacing in Cincinnati 2019. Also makes me think of 2019 'Resurfacing' documentary even though that didn't come out until later in the year.

Walk by the Foo Fighters - omg I've just realised I was thinking of the US Open 2020 not 2019... welp, timey wimey I guess, insert your preferred moment of watching Andy figure out how to play with his new hip

Mountains by Biffy Clyro - Antwerp 2019

Getting Old Sucks (But Everybody's Doing It) by Bowling For Soup - Pandemic through to 2023, including the post 4am fightback from two sets to love down against Thanasi Kokkinakis (see pics below). Getting old does suck, but Andy was really good at it.

Forever's Not Enough by McFly - "I want to play forever" (Wimbledon 2024)

26 by Paramore - a sad quiet song about hope, ie the only thing I was holding onto during the first half of that match against Nishikori and Daniel, which, lest we forget, was horrible

The Last Song by McFly - from 5 match points down through to breaking back in the second set against the Americans. Just pure fucking magic ✨ (thank you Dan!) ~~Epilogue section~~

Growing Up Beside You by Paolo Nutini - Andy Murray may be 11 years older than me, but so many of my memories of watching him play are tied to memories of times in my life. For example, I watched the 2016 World Tour Finals semi-final against Raonic in my student union, and vaguely remember trying not to show how stressed I was. I'm currently the age he was when he won Wimbledon the first time, so that's not terrifying at all...

The Way I Loved You (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift - I do really like Jannik Sinner but this could sort of be read as an indirect towards him? Although tbf watching post-puke Sinner power through tournaments has been its own kind of awesome. Honestly though, I don't think anyone will ever make me feel as much of a "rollercoaster kind of rush" on a tennis court as Andy Murray did anyway, not even the stress of watching Grigor Dimitrov try to hold a lead ❤️

Wouldn't Change a Thing - I really really wouldn't, and I hope Andy feels the same. Well, I mean, he'd probably choose not to have a hip injury, but you know what I mean 😆

[strqyr]

I seriously have to ask. Why on earth are you so determined to push the idea that somehow the ENTIRE HUNTER SYSTEM is toxic and painful and it needs to be thrown in the bin. When not only is Ruby's circumstances far more unique than those your typical hunter would typically face. But we have the vast majority of the main cast affirm that yes, they ARE Hunters, in an epic scene of awesome character development?

I get that Ruby is not in an okay place at the moment. She has trauma from Beacon and Altas that is not fully addressed. And her teammates have not reached out to support her in Volume 9 until her outburst (partly due to bad timing. Because holy shit did her backing away from Crescent Rose send alarms ringing in everyone's heads). But blaming the entire Hunter system as toxic and needing to be removed feels very, 'throwing out the baby with the bathwater', you know?

the system currently in place is a post-war concept. it is, at most, 80 years old. we know the world managed to do just fine without it, as before the war kingdoms were expanding and finding new grounds to settle. as a systemic group huntsmen and huntresses aren't needed: the main reason for the academies to exist is to defend the relics hidden in vaults within them, putting a huge target on them that the students meant to defend them don't even know about. same students who usually start training to kill monsters (and potentially other people as well, since that can be part of the job) at the age of 13. that's a child.

we're talking about a system that is basically churning out child soldiers. there's no reason why they need to graduate at the age of 21 instead of starting to train at that age.

we're talking about a system that has no way to actually keep track of all of huntsmen and huntresses to ensure that they aren't abusing their power. these are people who have trained in combat, who have unlocked their aura for extra protection, who can have special powers in form of semblances. these are people who have the power to arrest others. the power imbalance between a regular citizen and a huntsman is absurd. they are super-powered mercenaries who are also cops and if the one you've trusted your life with decides being a decent person doesn't pay enough or doesn't bring them enough joy anymore or whatever, there's not much a regular citizen can do against them alone.

and we have seen them abuse their power already. this is not a what if? this is a holy shit this is already happening. raven has been the bandit queen of anima for almost 20 years, people are terrified of her, and qrow only cared to amass a group to go deal with the tribe when he found out the spring maiden is there. how is this not a problem?

my point is nothing in the show is actually selling me the idea that the huntsmen system is necessary. just because there are few good eggs doesn't mean the rest isn't rotten, that there aren't issues that need to be fixed.

there will always be heroes, people willing to defend those who need help. but they don't need to have a title of a huntsman or a huntress to do so—clearly, since humanity was doing just fine before the war without the academies. and a town or a family should not be required to have enough money to pay for someone to protect them or else trust a goodwill of a stranger to care about them enough to help without a payment (especially when there's a lot of 'looking the other way, this doesn't concern me' going on).

the system isn't bad just because someone came out of it mental health problems—tho obviously that's bad too and should be reason enough to investigate what went wrong and how it can be prevented in the future—it's bad because from the viewpoint of a Regular Joe who needs a huntsman now, you either have enough money to hire a huntsman—and then hope the one you get not only arrives in time but is also actually a decent person—or you're fucked.

[pizacat72]

what are your thoughts on tlk1, tlk2 and tlg? how much do you like each of them?

ooh good question!!! lemme see here. putting this under a keep reading bc it long

TLK is definitely far and away the best out of all of em. God the visuals!!! Each shot is a definite masterpiece. Each scene vitally important to the film as a whole. The best scenes in the movie imo are Mufasa and Simba roughhousing and Mufasa's ghost speaking to Simba. Each emotional beat in those scenes just hits me in the feels every fucking time. Oh, and the music. It's simply impossible to discuss TLK without the music! Each song number is catchy and fun. The Circle of Life sets my soul on fire every fucking time. I Just Can't Wait to Be King and Hakuna Matata are my fucking anthems. Can You Feel the Love Tonight is sweet and romantic, with the funny bits with Timon and Pumbaa being the cherry on top. Even tho Be Prepared is my least favorite song in the movie, that doesn't mean it's a bad song. It's only my least favorite bc I don't resonate with it as much but it's still one hell of a banger. Also this movie arguably has the most recognizable leitmotifs ever. Mufasa's leitmotif is grand, majestic, and tragic when he dies. Simba's leitmotif is hope filled, inspiring, and awesome, especially at the end of the movie. The musical score is amazing. We Are All Connected, Kings of the Past, and The Rightful King are easily my top 3 movie score pieces of all time. I just. There's so much to unpack and I just aaaaaaaa it's my very favorite movie of all time!!!

While TLK2 obviously isn't at quite the same level, it's still a worthy sequel in its own right. The animation is still pretty good, the characters are fairly solid and the music is still mostly catchy as hell (that said, Upendi is definitely the cheesiest song in the whole movie and I definitely could do without it). I think Adult Simba's characterization is the strongest without a doubt here. Matthew Broderick's enraged shout of "Exile!" gets me every time. He's still wrestling with being like his father. Oh and Kiara is arguably my favorite TLK female character of all time and is probably my second favorite TLK character next to Cub Simba. Her compassion and wisdom really draw parallels with that of her grandfather and I headcanon that she sort of felt his presence guiding her as she fell in love with Kovu. Oh, He Lives in You and We Are One are my favorite songs of the movie. There's a spirituality to them that I really can't ignore (i'm a bit reluctant to go into my spiritual beliefs on tumblr bc of religious trauma and also i think i'll probably get lambasted haha).

TLG is a mixed bag for me. The chemistry between the characters in the first two seasons was pretty solid. The music is excellent as always, Zuka Zama being my favorite. The antagonists were pretty awesome too, especially Reirei. God, I love her. I also really appreciate that this show doesn't forget about its side characters and most of them make at least two appearences in the show, which I do appreciate. I also liked the little parallel shot references to TLK (in a youtube video seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s0EYqMIR58&t=13s). However, Simba's characterization here really bugged me. Especially in the Savannah Summit episode where he basically tells Kion that he ruined it. He feels more like Kion's boss than his father. While I am able to headcanon that as him throwing himself into his royal duties to protect his family, I do wish he had at least a slight bit of chill. I also was bugged about Kiara wanting to be queen, which kind of skewed her desire to not be queen in TLK2 but honestly, I kind of chalk that up to writers forgetting her previous characterization briefly. Oh and ZURI. I fucking hate Zuri. Whose fucking idea was it to give a lion cub eyeshadow? She's irritating, unbearable, and simply unlikeable. I used to hate Tiifu but The Underground Adventure redeemed her in my eyes so she's cool with me now. Also, not a huge fan of Kion talking to Mufasa so easily. I just think it kind of ruins the whole mystique and majesty about the Lions of the Past. Season 3 was also pretty rough but I think I've complained about TLG too much already so I'll stop for now.

(gonna make a separate post about TLK 1.5 bc that movie is probably the best TLK sequel imo but yeah haha)

[wellthebardsdead]

Evalien: *a human from our world, got isekaid into tambriel and transformed into a dwarf, now sitting in Malacaths hand, in the cool water pool of his shrine in skyrim after she spent hours cleaning it up* Well. I think you’re pretty handsome if it’s any consolation.

Malacath: Your lies of flattery mean nothing to me.

Evalien: *sighs* Look. I get it alright. I spent the last, what? 10 years of my life getting over the trauma that was inflicted upon me during primary and high school. For ages I thought I was fat and ugly. Neither were true! But they made me believe I was! And now look at me! I’m a purple bad ass who can breathe fire! But before this?… I’d just become somewhat content with myself as I was and honestly?… I miss my old body… I miss being human… and that’s okay, because I’m happy as I am now too. It’s a new experience, and it’s really fucking awesome if you ask me.

Malacath: and your point is?…

Evalien: You we’re hurt. Really hurt. And you’re still hurting. And that’s okay… but now you’re taking it out on the people who care about you. And that’s not okay… what the ‘good daedra’ did to you was cruel, they changed you in a way nobody can fix, except yourself… you can continue to sit there in ‘shame’ and self pity… or you can move on, and heal. And realise you’re still you. You’re you. You’re not a carbon copy of auriel he shaped to be his ‘perfect champion’ or a monster created by Boethiah… you’re you. You’ve always been you, you’re still handsome and powerful. And so… *places their hand down on his giant palm* so very gentle… stop punishing your people… they adore you…

Malacath: *staring at them in utter confusion* …

Evalien: *sighs and stands up* I can’t fix what’s happened… and I’ll admit… I still remember the pain that was done upon me… that stuff doesn’t just go away, and it hurts still but… I know it was all lies… *smiles up at him* You’re incredible you know?… I just wish… I could help you remember that… You’re so very beautiful.

Malacath: *staring at them in awe, face flushing dark green, then rose gold, as his form twists and changes resembling a high elf with an orcs tusks, horns and nose, but two large, beautiful wings glittering with starlight* I- what did you-

Evalien: *just smiles* I didn’t do anything… you just decided to take the first step towards healing yourself… *hops down off his hand and into the water only to be caught by his hands again as he joins her in the pools as a slightly larger aldmeri like orc*

Malacath: *pulls her close against his body, hands firmly on her hips and eyes locked intently but softly onto hers* …Lay with me tonight…

Evalien: … *wraps her arms around his shoulders, not about to deny a literal god wanting her and her body* Okay.

*Several, days, later*

Evalien: *blinks awake in a warm, cosy long house, furs covering her now very VERY pregnant body, tiredly shuffles to her feet and waddles to the door, opening it to see orcs from every stronghold outside, waiting to greet their new god queen* … *closes the door then finally notices their stomach* … *looks around hoping malacath is watching from wherever he went* look you’d better be raising them because I still have to kill the world eater.

[victorluvsalice]

Happy Birthday Marie!

@offwithhxrhead You requested a story where Madeline meets someone who could potentially be a new romantic interest, and I hope I have delivered:

--

“WOOOOO!”

Madeline eagerly joined in the clapping and stomping of feet as The Pondcrossers finished up their set and departed from the stage. “Awesome show, huh?” a guy next to her said, eyes bright.

“You know it!” Madeline agreed with a beaming grin. “Best night out I’ve had in a while!” And I didn’t even need to get drunk or high off my ass to enjoy myself. Isn’t that a surprise.

“Oh, don’t start with that again,” the Queen of Hearts grumbled from a far corner of her mind. “I’m rather tired of that refrain.”

Yeah, yeah, sorry, Madeline thought back, shaking her head to dispel the negativity before it could take root. I know I’m doing a lot better these days. Been kind of a rough road to get here, sure, but – I’m out, I’m about, Mum and Dad trust me not to do anything stupid. That’s progress. She grinned back at the stage as the crowd began breaking up into smaller groups, friends chatting with friends. And that was a fucking great band! Why the hell they’re playing this place instead of living it up in Hollywood or – or Liverpool is beyond me.

“Liverpool?” the Queen asked, one eyebrow raised.

It was the first thing that came to mind! I don’t know the party towns of England! And asking Mum or Dad isn’t going to help, given the latter grew up in the ass end of nowhere and the former spent most of her life in a psychiatric hospital. Which you didn’t help with.

“Oh, shush and get us something to eat,” the Queen replied, rolling her eyes. “One gets peckish.”

Madeline’s stomach growled in answer. One does – might as well pick up a snack before we hit the road, she agreed, working her way toward the bar. If they serve food here, anyway...places like this always have peanuts or something, right? Eh, if they don’t, I’ll just swing past the nearest burger joint and –

Is that the bass guitarist?

Madeline stopped in her tracks. Perched on a stool at the very end of the bar was indeed The Pondcrossers’ second guitarist – Jean, if Madeline remembered correctly. Which she was pretty sure she did, as she’d spent a lot of the set watching Jean. The woman was exactly the type Madeline liked most – sporting wide hips, generous cleavage, long dark brown hair done up in a braid, and sparkling blue eyes. She’d handled her guitar like she’d been born with it in her hand, rocking in perfect beat with her bandmates and shooting the audience wide, come-hither grins every so often when the music allowed. Just the memory of that smile gave Madeline the shivers –

And now, she was almost within touching distance of the woman. Madeline stared at her, frozen. Holy shit, I didn’t realize...I mean, I guess it makes sense, singing like that is probably thirsty work, but...is it okay if I just – go up to her? I dunno if she’s cool with fans meeting her outside of sets or not...especially fans who might get a little...n-not that I’m gonna do anything but say I liked her music, but she is really fucking gorgeous and I’m on a dry spell and –

“And anyone who said your father’s influence in you is lacking should see you now.”

Cheshire appeared by her feet, winding around her ankles. “You seem stuck fast to the ground,” he observed with his trademark grin. “Purrhaps I should try to claw your feet up?”

“Loathe as I am to agree with that disrespectful creature, you should get moving,” the Queen of Hearts added, draping a tentacle over Madeline’s shoulders. “You are no mere pawn on the board – you are an ace in the pack. And you should act like it.”

Both of you be quiet before I start talking to you aloud! Madeline hissed, then bit her lip as she looked back at Jean. They did have a point – she was getting nowhere just standing there. In fact, she was probably starting to look a little bit creepy. And she did want to at least say “hi.” And tell her how awesome her band was. And if anything else happened...well, it happened. Madeline sucked in a steadying breath, then pried her feet off the floor and made her way over to the stool, trying to exude confidence. “Hi.”

Jean looked over. “Hi!” she said, all friendliness – that was one worry dispelled, at least. “Assuming you saw the show.”

“Yeah – you guys were amazing,” Madeline told her, smiling. “Best band I’ve heard in ages, trust me.” She offered a hand. “Madeline Van Dort.”

Jean took it, shooting her another dazzling smile. “Jean Carpenter. Pleasure to meet you.”

Madeline swallowed as their hands touched. Oh boy. Yup. Major crush. After one night. Gonna be hearing about this in Wonderland for months...worth it. “Pleasure is all mine.”

[wambsgansshoelaces]

hi my lil stinky!

also just realized i don’t know what to call you lol

but i’ve come to you asking for writing advice! for moi wants to start writing again, i’ve honestly spent today looking for writing tips and tricks and thought maybe i’d come to you! (totally because i love how you write for succession)

it literally started bc i wanted some head cannons about reader who is Oliver Queens ward hanging around the batkids

and just being absolutely the worst bunch of kids to be around

but yes that’s all, any ideas to help me?😋

hello senior stinky!!!

you can call me whatever LDLWORK my name is layla but I’ll respond to whatever people call me in my ask box

I’d love to help!! It’s so flattering you chose me I’m honored actually like omg

okay so firstly, you need to get in your head that there is no right or wrong way to write- there’s so specific recipe. that’s what makes stories so much fun- every writer has their own style, and you get to find yours!! just start writing. the fancy prose or like super deep stuff will come with time :)

some basics, though:

-make sure to read whatever you’re writing out loud to make sure it’s properly structured. if it sounds dumb when you’re saying it, it definitely reads dumb

-please for the love of god break apart paragraphs

-if you think it’d help you specifically, write down a skeleton draft (basic plot points) for whatever it is you’re writing

-headcanons are fun though for that reason; you don’t need to have a plot!! do whatever the fuck you want

-not enough people punctuate dialogue correctly oh my god it drives me bananas

so basically, a speech tag is however you indicate your character says something, like “he said” “she yelled”. If you decide to use a speech tag, at the end of your dialogue, you put a comma. Ex. “Yada yada blah blah,” she told him. If you’re not going to use a speech tag, just use a period and live your life. Literally some book authors don’t use this rule and it’s mind boggling. Rant over sorry!!!

-just have fun!!! writing always comes out good when you can tell it’s a product of passion

-just write whatever comes to mind!! your brain knows what it wants to write; just give yourself some time to find the words and you’ll have a story in no time

I literally spend hours just staring at the wall writing a singular sentance

-I like listening to music or watching YouTube or TV when i write. maybe it’d help you!

-take inspo from other authors! obviously don’t plagiarize that’s crazy but like if you like the way a certain person writes, try mimicking it, it certainly doesn’t hurt

I hope this helps!! I’m ur number one writing fan you’ll be awesome <3

[artielu]

Do you think Taylor Swift was right when she said the best advice she could give to new artist was “get the best lawyer”? And now the mess with Sophie turner and Joe Jonas, looks like Taylor is putting the best lawyers for her and honestly women fighting for what’s right and using the law kinda gives me life.

I'm professionally biased but if anyone is ever in a situation with a significant power differential and/or a high stakes situation, DEFINITELY GET THE BEST LAWYER.

For emerging artists, getting a great lawyer will help them understand what's in their proposed contract with record labels. Maybe one label has a less heinous contract than others, or maybe the artist can negotiate more rights or ownership.

Yes, divorcing a rich guy is DEFINITELY the time to get the best lawyer. I hadn't heard that Taylor was getting her a lawyer but that is fucking awesome because that divorce is going to be complicated. I hope she reminds him that she is the Queen of the North and the North Remembers. That fucker was spreading gossip that she's a bad mom because she wasn't always home with the kids. I hope she tears him apart.

Another time to get the best lawyer is ANY TIME YOU ARE DETAINED BY THE COPS. Ask if you are free to go. If the answer is anything but "yes, you are free to go" and then you're**actually able to leave,** then the next phrase out of your mouth is "I have a right to a lawyer and I am using my right to a lawyer. I want a lawyer now." and say absolutely nothing else but that until your lawyer shows up.

Any time it's high stakes, definitely get the best lawyer you can.

[domoaru]

Holy shit Sayo? I wonder if the asks have a character limit? I'm not sure I really fucking hope it doesn't it'd be so fucking funny I can just put infinite words There is Sonic x Shadow What kind of Sonic x Shadow Is it yaoi? Yea Let's go let's fucking go I reblog for all of my fellow fujoshis as a treat as a fricking trrrrrrreat I wonder how long i can keep this bit going hmm? dont worry about it You'll you'll you'll figure out the bit eventually I'm about to witness the start of something awesome aren't i I mean I wouldn't really consider it the start of something hopefully i i think it's pretty self contained at least i hope i dont have to do this bit again god bless evil fucked up madoka and evil fucked up homura they're really fucking cool they're epic aw whoa what is this creepypasta music is it good creepypasta music? aw hell this is madoka magica but evil is that cirno sorry huh is don't worry about it im watching madoka magica but evil is it a good show? yea it's a great show holy shit it's evil fucked up luigi jumpscare what if luigi, but real? like what if luigi was in the real life? I think your quality died

THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY PEAK UNHINGED AND DERANGED BEHAVIOR I FUCKING KNEEL DOWN TO YOU MY QUEEN!!!

[dzthenerd490]

Tales: Married to Faith

It was 2015, Iris and Meri were just enjoying a date together while traveling to New Marias. New Marias was only one of the Nexus Points under the Foundation's control, but it was popular for being the safest and best to live in. Here Species of Interest and anomalous humanoids could wander, walk, phase through, and fly freely without discrimination or worry of being hunted. As such it was a perfect place for Foundation staff to go and live a normal life every so often. It was also the best example of what a perfect life would look like if the veil over the anomalous world was ever broken. 

Iris and Meri were just walking through the streets and enjoying their life together, though that was not all. Meri was here to help establish a new church. In fact, they just came across Dr. Wells and his wife Charlie who were also here to help with the church. Both Charlie and Iris left their lovers to work on the church as both were atheists and couldn't really help anyways. Instead, they both decided to sit on a bench close to the construction of the church. 

"I'm surprised they didn't fight over which faith will get more attention."

"Those two are on such odd but good terms, I heard Meri didn't even get into one argument with Mathew, not even when he became Matilda."

"No, she doesn't actually like being around Matilda, she's just too nice to say no to hanging out with a friend. She's so lovely but too nice for her own good, but it makes me glad to be her wife so that I can stand beside her when she needs it."

"Hahaha, god you two were practically meant for each other, I remember when you guys were little you always wanted to hold her hand, every chance you got." Iris blushed and Charlie laughed again at this, the two both of them remained silent as they sat there. However, Iris then remembered her childhood within the Foundation and how much she wished she had the power to escape. She only got through it with the help of Meri, Daniel, and her friends. She then looked at Charlie with concern but quickly realized she was probably thinking too much and stopped herself from talking. She took a deep breath in, then out, and thought calmly about what she wanted to say. 

"Charlie?"

"Hm? Yeah Iris?"

"Why did you decide to stay with the Foundation? With your power you could have escaped any time you wanted."

"Hm... yeah I could have but if we're being honest, they would have hunted me down and used what is left of my family as hostages. Besides, where else could I go? Be worshiped by the freaks at the Serpent's hand? Hunted to the point of insanity by those GOC pricks? Enslaved by Marshal, Carter and Dark Ltd? Probably brainwashed and recruited by the Black Queen's Insurgency? Like it or not, even I can't deny the Foundation is humanity's best hope for survival. And yeah, I know I got captured the same day I destroyed those government pricks that killed my dad, but they weren't anything like them. After throwing some fireballs they surrendered and asked for compromises. 

I only accepted for the sake of my family and the barn, and they were surprisingly nice. I mean there were always those assholes that thought they were better, but I showed them who was boss in the end. They agreed to letting me have some freedom in exchange for working with them in the future. I figured I was just going to burn everything down as soon as I got there but I was genuinely shocked when they sent me on my first mission. It was to take down an army of evil Sarkites and boy where they a fucking threat but nothing I couldn't handle. 

They have never once sent me to take down a building or kill civilians. I swear I would kill them if that was ever the case. Don't get me wrong I still hate those faceless O5 fucks, I've only heard have of the evil shit they do but that alone makes me hate them. Still the Foundation isn't all bad once you get used to it and it can actually be pretty rewarding regarding the perks and awesome people you get to meet. That's the main thing I like about staying, if I didn't join in the first place, I wouldn't have met you or the others. It was honestly so refreshing to know there were other kids out there that had powers like me. It was also refreshing to know I was both the oldest and the strongest." Charlie then winked at Iris to which she busted out laughing.

"Hahaha! Don't let Alexi and Claudia hear you saying that."

"Ah, Alexi's a sweetheart, he doesn't mind admitting I'm stronger, and Claudia can complain all she wants, it doesn't deny I'm right... Haaa... it's also thanks to the Foundation that I met Mathew. He does preach his faith a lot but he's still so sweet and caring about all. Don't tell him I ever said this but he's an absolute angle and a true light in my life. Haha, at times he may be an idiot but he's my idiot and I'm his, forever and always."

"Wow... and you say me and Meri were made for each other." Charlie then noticed Iris staring at her with admiration and sparkling eyes, Charlie blushed and looked the other way out of embarrassment. 

"Haha, so what about you? I mean I know it's not easy to say no but why do YOU stay in the Foundation? What keeps you here?"

"Besides the fact that it's impossible to leave? I... Well at first it was the desire to take what I could from the Foundation and use it against them but now... it's because I have hope."

"Hope?"

"Yes, Hope that life can always get better, hope that nothing is impossible, just difficult, and hope that those we love can give us just as much strength and we give them... Hope is what drives me every day."

"Huh... And here I thought you were one of those people who believed naivety and hope meant the same thing."

"Nah, I used to, but after a certain train ride I learned the two couldn't be any more different. Besides, I can't deny that my life is pretty good right now. So yeah, guess having hope is working."

"Hm, well I'm glad it's working out... So now that they're distracted do you wanna talk about something a little spicier?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean it's just us here, and both our religious lovers are not here to get mad at us for having sinful talk so... What's Meri like in bed?" Iris blushed and looked at Charlie with shock, she then looked around and sighed in relief when there was no one close enough to hear them. 

"Charlie! Are you serious right now?!"

"Oh, come on! This is always something married girls like us do when our significant others aren't around."

"That's not a thing! And even if it was, I have no reason to oblige!"

"Fine then if you won't start then I will." Iris groaned and covered her ears as Charlie giggled and continued. 

"Ahhh... Mathew is an angel both out and in bed, he's so gentle but also full of energy. He really knows how to make a lady feel special any time of the day." Iris blushed as she didn't want to be hearing about another couple's sex life. Though she did stop tensing up when she noticed how lovingly Charlie was about it, it almost didn't make it sound as nasty as it could have been. 

"And then after we're done, he hugs me so gently and lovingly and I just fall into the warmth and comfort of his embrace. The best part is he also wraps his wings around me, and they are so soft! It's like after making love to each other I get rewarded by being wrapped in a cocoon of love. Seriously I'm not religious but he's quite literally a man made in the perfect image of heaven." Now Iris was pouting in jealousy but also annoyance, she knew Charlie was baiting her into bragging about Meri. The worst part about it, is that it was definitely working. 

"Well, Meri is quite innocent but up for trying new things, and she makes the cutest reactions sometimes." Charlie then leaned closer to Iris with her fists cutely under her chin to show she was extremely curious and ready to listen. Iris sighed while blushing in embarrassment, she knew Meri would hate it if she told anyone, but she couldn't help but want to talk about it, so she continued. 

"Like for example she's actually really sensitive when you pet her legs. Most people call me crazy for thinking her legs are cute, but they are! And they're so soft too, it makes her turn so red and get so cutely defensive when I brush my hand across them."

"Oh? What about her horns? Does grabbing them turn her on?"

"Oh, no way! Her horns are strong but are quite sensitive and I don't mean in the aroused kind of way. It hurts her a lot when someone grabs them in any way. So, I always make sure to never touch them and she always sleeps with her chin down and head up."

"Ah sorry... so wait, does that mean she's always on top?" Iris blushed and glared at Charlie with disappointment while Charlie started giggling deviously with pride. 

"Yes, actually. Once she's in the mood she starts taking control though she's very gentle yet also so powerful too. it's like this weird combo of gentle and rough that makes it all the more... exciting."

"Woah... you're such a slut." Iris turned red, glared at Charlie in anger, and punched her as hard as she could in the shoulder. Charlie grabbed her shoulder in pain but managed to laugh it off while Iris crossed her arms in anger. 

"Hahaha! Okay! Okay, I'm sorry! Besides, it's not like I can judge, especially when I have lots of fun with Matilda." Iris then froze up and slowly turned her gaze back to Charlie in shock.

"... Matilda? As in Mathew's satanic form? You have sex with her too?"

"Yup, turns out I'm bisexual." Iris continued to look shocked at Charlie while she smiled and raised her chin with pride. 

"Haha, it all started with a couples therapy session thing, it's kinda personal so I won't go into details, but the main point is that we wanted to get closer by exposing our flaws to one another. One of Mathew's flaws was that he felt uncomfortable yet free when he was in his satanic form. So, we worked together to help him be more comfortable in that form. After a few days one thing led to another and now every so often we sleep together. And oh boy! Is she aggressive in bed! And it's also hot, pun intended, that she can control fire like I can. Though the main take away is that now Mathew doesn't feel so trapped our out of control of his powers now, so the sex is good but it's more of an added bonus you know." Charlie blushed and smiled at that; it was nice to know that the married lives of her friends were doing good with a little couples therapy to help. 

"But oh man does Matilda have such a hot body. You've and Meri have probably noticed back when you were teens but woah is she so gorgeous and sexy. Honestly it's like I won the lottery of love knowing I got one of the most handsome, gentle, funny and caring men who can also turn into the sexiest and hottest women on the earth." Iris then got annoyed again.

"Hottest women on earth? Meri is the physical incarnation of Gaia! She's literally gifted with the most beautiful face in the world made by the goddess herself."

"Sure, sure but Mathew is cute and gentle in his own way."

"No one is cuter or gentler than Meri!"

"Mathew is the combination of all the best aspects of both men and women!"

"Meri does this adorable thing where-" Before Iris could finish Meri suddenly hits Iris on the head while Dr. Wells slaps Charlie on the back of her head. The two girls then turned around and looked up in fear as their significant other. Meri was radiating a dark aura while glaring at Iris arms crossed and disappointed. Dr. Wells on the other hand was smiling despite his face clearly twitching with anger and radiating an aura of burning rage. 

"My, my, Charlie, I'm glad you're having such fun talking about things I specifically and politely asked you not to talk about."

"Now, now. Don't be so harsh on them Mathew, after all we knew what we were getting into marrying such ruffians."

"Fair, fair, but I think it's time for the conversation to end." Mathew then grabbed Charlie's ear just hard enough to drag her away. Iris watched in horror at the sight, Charlie clearly wasn't in actual pain as Mathew was still being sure to be gentle, but it clearly hurt emotionally that her husband was very disappointed in her. Iris then fearfully turned to her disappointed wife who still had her arms crossed in disappointment. 

"... *sigh* let's go home, Iris." Meri then walked away to which Iris silently but quickly followed her wife to the SFH-2 ″Raven" they came to New Marais in. Iris was really annoyed with herself for embarrassing her wife by bragging like that, so she just stayed behind Meri the entire time they were walking. 

"... Though I have to ask."

"Hm?"

"You... Do you really like my legs? You don't think they're gross at all?" Meri turned to Iris while blushing in embarrassment. Once Iris noticed this, she blushed at how cute Meri looked; she then smiled warmly, walked up to her and gently put her hands on her cheek. 

"I've already told you, haven't I? There's nothing hideous about your legs."

"I always just thought you could bear it because you loved me. You know love is blind and all."

"Meri, you really thought all this time I was secretly disgusted with your legs?" Meri then looked down in shame and nodded.

"But you're always so up front with everything that bothered you, why hide something little like that?"

"I guess, I just thought it was so little it wasn't a big deal. Compared to the stuff you have to deal with."

"... Oh Meri, nothing that bothers you is so small that I wouldn't make time to help you deal with it. I do have my own problems but I'm not dealing with any of them alone, so please don't deal with yours alone even if they seem small in the long run."

"Hm, thank you Iris... I really do love you." Iris and Meri then kissed, and it was perfectly timed too as the sun was just setting on the horizon. When they stopped Iris looked into Meri’s eyes full of love and wonder.

“... Will you marry me?”

“Huh? Iris, we’re already married.”

“I know… I think I just fell in love with you all over again.” Meri giggled in that adorable way that Iris loved. Meri then lovingly hugged Iris’s arm and the couple continued their walk to the “Raven”. 

***

"Aw! I'm sorry Mathew! I just love talking about how great and amazing my husband is so I got carried away!" Mathew was wearing a look of disappointment as his wife was following him.

"... *sigh* You really did enjoy talking about Matilda as well."

"Oh, uh well..."

"And she is the hottest girl in the world if I heard you correctly."

"Well you are!" Mathew then stopped and turned around looking at Charlie in confusion.

"What?" 

"Wha- what? I just mean that I like you in both forms and sure Matilda has her perks but at the end of the day it's still you. And that's what I love most about it, whether it be a different form or a different show of love, it's still you at the end of the day."

"You... still see it as me?"

"Well. yeah? I know your personalities change more dramatically when you touch certain items but when you're Matilda you have the same memories, the same basic likes, the same adorably laugh too. Frankly theirs are not that much different between you, Ah! But um obviously that doesn't reflect actual Satanism and Christianity... I think." Mathew looked at his wife confused but then chuckled which allowed her to calm down and smile again. 

"Hahaha, the truth is, I'm not actually sure I like the Christian faith that much."

"Wha?"

"It's just what I feel in my blood is the right thing to do, but when I touch that pentagram talisman it's a new and exciting experience. It just so happens like with Christianity I feel freer than if I were to touch another religious item. So, I enjoy being Matilda almost as much as I like being Mathew. I just find it hard sometimes to decide which one I like more." Charlie smiled warmly and hugged her husband from behind while kissing his cheek.

"Well one thing is certain, whether you make a choice or just keep flipping between the two. I will always love you, forever and always. Because in my eyes, you will always be the one I love." Mathew blushed as he lovingly touched his wife's arms with one hand and placed one hand on her cheek with the other. 

"Well, I just MIGHT feel like becoming Matilda again, for tonight! But I also might not want to be her for another month or so." Charlie felt a little hurt by that as she felt an arrow stab through the desire part of her heart. However, she quickly swallowed her pettiness up and faced her husband with a reassuring smile. 

"Your anomalous body, your anomalous choice." Mathew smiled and leaned forward so he and Charlie could kiss, they both kissed for a short while. Afterwards, they both flew off into the skies together, seemingly dancing in the skies and taking their time before going back to Site-AM.

.

SCP: HMF Tales Hub

[anouraborealis]

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Hi, I am a new writer who wrote this more as an exercise than a serious story. I’m trying to find a good balance of goofy and good storytelling, and I think I did a solid job. Enjoy!

CW: A lot of smut

Alyssa is working her boring ass 9-5 desk job. Her popular and wickedly handsome coworker, Jerry, approaches. "Hey Alyssa, Heard you in the bathroom from my cubicle. It sounded like you were frying chicken in there, wanna grab dinner?" He asks. She's flustered, put on the spot, and feels disgusting. "Sorry Jerry, I need to visit my dying mother, all the nights every night." she replies Ay Well then I hope that old wicked bitch of the west dies, am I right for am I right?" “Haha Jerry you're so silly."

Allysa had pulled the plug two weeks ago... Alyssa is just not attracted to Jerry at all. She doesn't know why either. Every time she reads about someone like him in erotica her pussy turns into a waterfall but in real life she Just doesn't like him at all.

I Just don't get it, whenever I read about men and their tight asses and thick man titties or whatever going against women and their squishy and adorable parts and glistening skin with their beautiful eyes, I just get So hor-. wait, I'm a lesbian aint l. Yippee!

She jumps up and spins around in excitement until she notices something black on her desk. She stops spinning and-

ITS A FUCKING BLACK WIDOW! 

She pulls her NRA sanctioned grenade out of her -

pocket and gets interrupted by a voice. 

"No please, I haven't even gotten lesbian pregnant, oh please!"

Oh gosh, all I wanted was to be an awesome lady lady killer dyke type spider and this I straggot ass human is gonna kill me. I literally Just ran Away from papa.

Allysa slows down a second, then stops.

Wait, did it say lesbian pregnant? I wasn't aware that was something someone could do.

“Shut up you lying ass bitch, we both know that spiders can’t be lesbians!"

“That's not true you ignorant ass bi-pedal straggot!”

“Am I a straggot or am I BI-pedal umm? I'm a lesbian too bitch!”

“Oh well, why are you attacking me. fellow faggot?!!!”

Why am I attacking you? You're a Black spider, you could kill me, but, with my NRA sanctioned grenade and also my Pussy Pistol™  I could kill anyone. Also , this is the only other queer I know. Oh god, what've I done?

“Oh my octo-legged queen I'm so sorry, I was being a total hypocrite!"

Wow, I never expected a home-sapistraggt to turn to good so quickly. Tis' truly a miracle. Not to mention she’s fucking hot. If I squint hard enough I could imagine her as a spider

"It's-It's okay, I never expected a human to understand."

"It's just that, as a queer, I'm lonely, so lonely Marcus!”

"My name is Natalie."

"Oh, sorry, it was a Will Poulter reference.”

Oh dear lord thank god she didn't get the reference, it’s way too early to be flirting.

“Oh well, I’m lonely too.”

Oh no, what if we wouldn't work together. I certainly want to marry her but she's already making references I don't Understand. I don't care! I am obsessed with her. Talking to her makes me feel like my heart Will explode. I'd scale the tallest mountains for her. I’d slay a billion soldiers for her. Fuck, she’s so adorable now that she's calming down.

"Hey, so- What's your name..?”

"I'm Alyssa nice to meet you.”

This is such a cute spider. I can't believe I almost Killed it.. I can see all of its eyes, glistening in the office lights just like stars in the sky, so dreamy. FOCUS! I need to find out how to get lesbian pregnant. That sounds fucking hot!

“Hey wait a minute, what’s lesbian pregnant?”

“Oh well, it's not something that happens with humans. When a spider marinates in female cum we can get pregnant."

Oh no, I was really excited to become lesbian pregnant. Oh welly Just not for me I guess. But, maybe I can get Natalie lesbian pregnant. Oh that would be a dream. having a few arachno-children with such a beautiful girl.

"Um, Just curious, could a human get a Spider lesbian pregnant?" 

"1-I'm not quite sure, it's never been tried before."

“Oh, well, maybe you could try it, or something."

I grow tenser. I practically just asked to impregnate my crush. I'm. Such a pathetic fail girl. I'm sweating. I'm so horny I'm literally squirming!

Oh my god she totally wants to get me pregnant. I think. I'm not quite sure actually. I might just be making her uncomfortable. Fuck it! What am I again? I am the lady ladykiller. I could, and maybe already have, totally get a human to fall in love with me.

"Ay baby, open your legs and maybe your pussy juices could get me lesbian pregnant.”

I can't even speak, I just fall down. It feels like there's oceans of waves crashing inside of me. God, I can't wait for Natalie to be inside me. My legs start spreading, it doesn’t even feel like I’m controlling myself. She's scuttling up my leg and I'm getting so flustered. I support Myself on my elbows. She's making her way up my thighs. I can feel exactly where she is. It tickles! I bring my hand to my mouth to stop myself from laughing, moaning, whimpering, and screaming. God I wanna whimper so bad. I hope Natalie likes whimpering. I fall slightly angled to my side from moving my hand to my mouth. She's inside of me now.

Oh my god I can’t believe I’m doing this, I'm fucking a human. She's squirming so much, it's adorable. I'm actually inside her. Holy shit. I've never done this before, I haven't even chainsawed another spider, (like scissoring, but chainsaw because spiders have so many legs) I need a strategy.

Natalie puts herself in between Alyssa's g-spot and clit. She uses 6 of her legs to squirm around her g spot and 2 to circle her clit.

 What The fuck is she doing in me? I've never masturbated before. This is so new oh my god this is amazing. It feels like a new part of me. It Just feels like pleasure. I can't stop shaking. My hand is barely even muffling my moans. I'm clenching the floor so hard it hurts. I'm not even controlling myself any more. It's like my body is begging to burst through my skin. It's like I'm made of lightning. I can’t take it anymore. It's too much but I want so much more.

Alyssa cums an entire yard, all over her cubicle wall. Nobody notices because everyone's gone to kill themselves. Natalie gets completely washed. out, she's covered in cum.

I can barely move. I didn't know humans could cum this much. my entire body of sore. I don't think I'm gonna make it. I lived a good life. I realized I was a lesbian, I ran away from papa, and then I met the girl of My dreams. I'm perfectly content, even if I don't get lesbian pregnant. At least, I got her to cum hard. There's a sharp pain in my stomach. I feel like I'm about to burst open. It hurts like fire. It feels like my entire body is on fire. I think, I'm giving birth! Oh my god I'm gonna die having been Lesbian pregnant! My life is complete! I can finally rest! I can finall-

"Oh my god that was so good I've never- Natalie? Natalie are you okay? Natalie!!! No no no no!”

Did my girlfriend drown in my cum? No she can't, I love her so much. She can’t be gone. This is all my fault. How could I let this happen? If I Just was harder to make cum or-or never had sex with her in the first place this would all be fine. This is such bullshit! I was alone for so long and just as soon as I find love she dies. Maybe I could- maybe I could clone her. No, that's stupid! It's Just hopeless. There's nothing I can do. Everything. I've ever cared about is gone. I'm Just, worthless now. It's- It's kinda nice to be worthless. No matter what I do now I can never hit a new low. 1- I guess it's okay that Natalie is gone. Spiders only live a few weeks anyways. I accept this. What's that!? Is that an egg? It's growing! It's-It's oh it stopped.

Alyssa took that egg, and when it hatched, it became something she never imagined. His name? Peter Parker.