#go back to working 60 hour weeks see if i give a fuck

[deoidesign]

when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this

[xiaq]

I got another raise today. Praise for my contributions to my team, validation for my hard work, and a clear overview of what my continued progression in my company could look like. I celebrated by taking the afternoon off to nap and read in bed with my husband. I painted some swatches in the space that will soon be my library in the basement of our new home. I talked to my publisher about the process of turning my 3 published books into audio books. And now I'm in the living room, writing and watching my dog attempt to entice pedestrians on the sidewalk to pet him over the front yard fence.

Next month it'll be two years since I left academia.

It was the hardest and the best thing I ever did.

Three years ago, I was having an existential crisis about my career. I was working 60+ hours a week for embarrassingly little pay as lecturer. I loved my job, but I knew that continuing to work in academia wasn't a sustainable option for me. The thought of buying a house some day was laughable. I'd sworn off relationships. I looked at my writing and I thought there was no chance I'd ever publish anything. I was nearly thirty and I felt like I'd wasted the last decade of my life and I was fighting hard against the sunk cost fallacy that whispered I should just stay. Continue as I was. Let no one know I was drowning in the life I'd always said I wanted.

See, people like to say "it gets better" when people are feeling lost or hopeless. But what they don't tell you is that in order for things to get better you often have to do big scary shit that sometimes feels like walking backward. Sometimes you have to tear things down to the studs before you can rebuild. Sometimes the path to "better" looks a lot like "worse" at first.

I was lucky that my family and friends supported my "worse" phase while I was trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life, interviewing for tech companies and taking fire fighting exams and querying agents/publishers and basically just saying "fuck it, I'll give it a try" to every available opportunity, including dating the guy who is now the love of my life. But "it gets better" requires hard work and bravery and putting yourself out there and bitter disappointment and rallying and leaning on that support system, and trying again.

So, I'm not sure where I'm going with this other than to say, for anyone else who was where I was 3 years back, anyone who feels stuck or hopeless or like they've wasted years of their life on a career or relationship that doesn't love them back: it gets better, but you have to fucking fight for it. So rally your troops. Get your support system in place. Give sunk cost fallacy the finger. And go figure out what will serve you better.

I'm so happy, now. My life is amazing. But it might have been amazing even faster if I'd dropped out of grad school after my first year when I realized that maybe it wasn't what I wanted after all. I wish I'd been brave then. Be brave now.

[riofann]

3. tempestuous

Authors Note: I am trying something new. I like this story line please give me your feedback. Only reposts and likes please don't steal my work. XOXO Rose

Tempestuous: characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion.

Previous Chapter

Sunday September 8, 2019 

You step outside to see Rio standing by his G-Wagon truck. 

“Hey mama” 

“What do you want?” you hadn’t heard from Alejandro since he showed up to your restaurant nor were you seeking him out. 

“Where you going?” he looks at your outfit a dress with sandals

“It's Sunday and I have things to do. What do you want?”  you ask again

He shrugs “Mind if I ride a long?” he smiles 

You look at him as he walks up to you. It's only when he's standing directly in front of you looking down at you is when you respond “Why do you want to ride along?” 

He shrugs “just want to. Is that a crime?” 

You roll your eyes not in the mood to try and decipher in between the lines “get in” you say as you open the door

Your Sunday reset was now going to be with an annoying company 

You link your phone to car and select your Sunday playlist, 90s RnB something that was a must for Sunday reset

You wait for him to adjust in his seat before you pull off 

First stop- Target to restock on things you noticed this week you need laundry detergent and while there you saw some cute bathroom items that you grabbed. You don't speak to Rio in fact you forgot he was there until you turned to see him observing you  

Second stop- The international store you needed some ingredients for your meals this week

Third stop- The nursery/flower shop

“Y/N!” You hear behind you, you both turn around “I got some new Lillie's...” she pauses realising you and Rio were indeed together  “oh I'm sorry” 

“Julia this is Rio, Rio Julia” Julia the owner of the nursery a mid 60s woman who could talk for hours about plants 

“Nice to meet you” he says nodding his head 

“Nice meeting you too Rio” Julia links her arm around yours and pulls you through the nursery 

Last stop- Groceries you had to make sure you meal prepped for the week 

You and Rio still haven't said much to each other. When you pull into your driveway you turn off the car and turn to look at him “Sooo...”  

He smiles “We got things to unload don't we?” 

You turn back to face your home and remove your keys "Right" You get out the car and grab your purse, open the trunk, before you reach for the heavy items Rio stops you “I got you," He puts his hand to block you “here”  he hands you the flowers “you go inside I got everything else” 

“Okayyyy”

You look back at him gathering the groceries in his hands, before opening the front door. He was acting bizarre today/

After all the groceries are in Rio closes the door and makes himself comfortable by the kitchen island.

You watch him from your peripheral while you put your items away and keep him in your line of sight as you rotate the floral arrangements in your home as well. 

When all of that was done you feel uneasy because he wasn't speaking nor were you aware of the purpose of this visit. Was he going to kill you? Was he going to harm you? Why was he just around? 

He becomes distracted with his phone texting. It gives you some time to look around your purse was far away and it would be weird to go pick it up and carry it around even though it had your gun, the knives were in the drawer near him and you can’t just pull them out for no reason nor can you sneak and hold one behind your back.  You get the idea to pull items out of the fridge for dinner at least you would have a reason to hold the knife then. 

You hear his phone hit the counter indicating he was done, with your back to him facing the fridge you ask “are you staying for dinner?”

He clears his throat “Am I not welcomed?”

You turn to face him “who said that? ”

He smirks “Then why are you asking ma'?” 

You want to slap him who the fuck invites themselves to someone else’s house?

You roll your eyes and pull out the marinated meat “since you invited yourself to dinner you're on grill duty”  you give him a sarcastic smile placing the dish in front of him

He nods and smirks accepting the role

He doesn't say anything as you speak “the charcoal is outside, grill was cleaned yesterday, here are tongs, a grill fork, and spatula, marinade to put on the meat” you pause to think “Oh! and the brush the lighter is on the grill lighter fluid is out there too. Any questions?” 

He,shakes his head “Nope” 

“Okay have fun!” 

You watch as he steps onto the patio before you turn around to prepare the sides and salad. In between you begrudgingly make a drink for Rio, a sign of appreciation 

You walk outside which makes him turn to face you.

“Drink for you and dish for the meat"

He smiles “Good looking out” he raises the glass as a toast to you, you nod and walk away 

When dinner is done you serve him food and sit next to him on the kitchen island. You focus on the music playing and think back to your childhood to not accept the reality of what was happening right now. 

After dinner is over and you’ve put the dishes away in the dishwasher you’re both now just staring at each other as you finish off your drinks. 

“I’m sorry” he says out of nowhere

“Excuse me?” you weren’t expecting that 

He sighs and straightens up so he can face you square, he doesn’t say anything for what seems like forever, your heart spikes as he stands up and walks towards you. You assume he is getting ready to kill you right then and there dammit you had let your guard down again and now there were no weapons to use but your very heavy whiskey glass you were holding. 

“I said I’m sorry” he speaks standing in front of you “For letting Nick get in my head” 

Ahhhh he was apologizing for the kidnapping “okay” you hadn’t forgotten about it but you most certainly weren’t expecting an apology 5 months after, you weren’t expecting any apology actually 

He chuckles lightly “come on ma, you gotta give me something” 

“Apology acknowledged” you give him a tight lipped smile He nods “I’ll take that” he finishes off his drink, rinses the cup and places it in the dishwasher “see you around yea?” you nod and watch him leave your house. 

God did you wish you could call someone and talk about how strange your day was, how strange the apology was. Wasn’t really an apology more like an admittance of fault if anything he hadn’t atoned for what he put you through. 

Thursday September 12, 2019 

“Have a seat” he speaks to you. You slide into the seat next to Mick “We need to expand the business”, your mind flashes back to two Sundays ago. Is this why he spent the day with you? To butter you up to do more work? 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you’re so good at what you do, we’re expanding our territory we will need to wash more money” “Why don’t you have other people do it for you? You have a big network surely I'm not the only one that does this for you” He sighs “You’re not but you’re the best” “What if i say no?” you hypothesize “That’s not an option darling” 

You sigh and start sliding off the booth to leave

“I’m not done”

“You’ve already made the decision what else do you want from me?” He remains silent “Right”

He lets you go and texts you the details later on 

Rio: We have 3 spots we want you to look at confirm which one is the best, see you next week 

Friday September 20, 2019

“Cariño!” you hear as you walk to your car at night scaring you “Oh my god! Alejandro!”

“Lo siento mi dulce, Que Paso?!” he gives you cheek kisses, it was the middle of the night the bar was closed everyone had left 

“Hey whats up?” you keep your hand in your purse 

He shakes his head “No need for that senorita. You think about what I said?” 

“How do I know the 30% you offer is more than what I will get from Rio?” 

“How do I know you won’t screw me over?” 

You smile “you don’t” 

He returns your smile “Same” 

“So what do you say huh? You want to give it a try?”

“I don’t want a blood bath” He shakes his head “there won’t be como se dice?? Ah scouts honor, si scouts honor. We will talk to the Serraño family tell them this is for the best” 

“I still need to think about it” He sighs “You know I offer you something good and you don’t take the offer?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to take the offer. There is a lot hanging and i just need to make sure” you appease to him knowing things could turn out bad for you

He interrupts you “I told you the Guerrero family will take care of you” “At what cost?”

He beams “We can and we will eliminate any obstacles you have”

You roll your eyes “I need to time to think and you’re gonna give me the time I need” you go to open your door and throw your purse in He throws his hands up “Si senorita but time is running out I can’t convince my boss that this is a good idea if you keep turning me down” You stop to look at him “I thought you were the boss?” He adjusts his belt loop “Si soy el jefe pero again we are a family other people have to approve” “What do you want from me?” He shrugs “what we want is the same service you provide for the Serraño family, that is all” 

“Why won't you find another bar?” you ask, because why was everyone acting like you were the only person who knew how to wash money in this big city

“No we want the best of the best, you're the best of the best” you look at him taking it in “consider my offer” 

Saturday October 5, 2019 

You weren’t meeting him at your bar, you were meeting him at an upscale winery where all they served was charcuterie boards, fine wines, and spirits. You dressed the part with heels, dress, etc. 

“Hello stranger” he comments to you not responding to his texts. 

You sigh and finish the details you were drawing in the tablet “Rio”

He waves down the bartender “Halloween season not spooked out to be out at night?” he jokes

“If there was ever a boogey man I’m in business with him so no” He chuckles accepting the insult “What you got?” 

“I’m almost done” you comment, finishing up the wine in your glass along with the finishing touches on the drawings. He remains silent, phone always distracting him of course. You look at him from your peripheral, taking him in an all black attire, nothing new. You also hadn’t told him about Alejandro paying you a visit recently, so you have been contemplating brining it up to him or wait for him to bring it up to you “I’m done, here you go” 

“Cool, aye my man get her another” “Oh no it's fine I am done, I’m going home here you go, keep the change”  you say paying off the bartender 

“Oh come on, I just got here, can't we talk?” You turn to face him “About what Rio?” 

He sits back and places his hand under his chin “anything, the expansion, your flowers you picked up from Julia? That's her name right?...any recent visits”  he confirmed 

You scoff “fuck off” 

“I’m being serious”

“And I am too! Fuck off” 

He sits up straight “I would expect you to be happy about an expansion, it's good for our partnership that I’m giving you more” “Partnership?” You mug deeply “This” you emphasize gesticulating between you two “Is NOT a partnership! This is an authoritarian relationship you say jump and the only thing I get to do is ask how high” 

He sighs “That’s not true” “Then what the fuck happened in June if it’s not?!” He remains silent “Right fuck off Rio! You always get what you want, you don’t care what that means for anyone else! The designs are in there the passcode is on the tablet, have a nice evening” with that you grab your purse and walk out of the restaurant. You don’t know why but you got so upset you wiped the tears away as you made it to your car. 

Wednesday October 16, 2019

You slide into the booth, this time you both don’t even mention each other’s names the tension still thick from the last meeting

“What do you want?” you ask him 

“Oooh what's going on here?” Nick comments he wasn’t a stranger to your bar but he also wasn’t a frequent customer 

“Nothing” “Lovers quarrel?” You turn to face Nick “I should shoot you” He grins “Oooh she’s feisty today brother” “Cousin” Rio corrects

Nick scoffs “We grew up as brothers, why try to get into the semantics” Rio glares at him and he chuckles, picking up a wing from the basket. It remains silent as you and Rio just stare at each other “Well since no one wants to talk I will, we would like for you to tell us the best spot” he hands you the tablet 

“Does it matter what I think? Or you just want to hear me talk?” you ask Nick “It matters, I’m not like my baby brother, I listen” Rio scoffs You sigh and open the tablet. “First option is in a commercial strip mall, there’s limited parking so the other businesses will not be happy and it will affect their customers as well driving away businesses” “Right” Nick nods

“Also getting food delivered there’s not much space for the delivery trucks that would mean that they take up parking spaces or block people in for at least one hour. The second location there’s not enough space inside the capacity will be limited to 100 people total that's including staff and patrons so any major sport event or event like Fourth of July, Christmas night, New Years Eve we will not be able to accommodate people” 

“Okay” 

“Also given the space is small the most we can do is standing tables and limited menu”

“Ohhhh” “The last option is probably the best out of the three, it's a stand alone building with a parking lot,  although the lot is small, parking can be easily located across the street on the deck or on the side. This one allows for expansion if necessary as it stands it can accommodate over 200 people and that comes in handy during large events or busy nights, for safety reasons we can add more exit doors, for design purposes the space can accommodate both booth tables and standing bars and maybe even a pool table area. 

“Niccceeee”  You roll your eyes “so you like the 3rd option but what about location?” “The location sucks for the third one but people will drive for good food and a good environment, 20-30 minutes from the city uber/lyft will not cost more than 40 bucks back downtown on a busy night. The other 2 are located perfectly within the city however because of the other factors I don’t consider them the best place to be.”  

Nick nods enthusiastically “understood understood, bro got any questions?” You both turn to look at Rio, he looks at you and says “no” 

“Okay well I have a bar to run” “Wait before you go we want to tell you which one we’ve picked” “Okay” you say apprehensively “Given all you’ve said the first location is the best” 

Rio looks at him you don’t say anything you assume that was a shock to Rio as well

“Its actually the worst of all 3” you comment 

“But its in the middle of all the action people will shop and stop by the bar”

“You’ll piss off the other businesses local businesses at that” 

He shakes his head “No dear, YOU, will piss them off not us” he smiles 

You sigh defeated “alright whatever I gotta go”

“Brother you have been really silent, it will help if you could show support this is what we discussed remember” If looks could kill then Nick would be dead

You stand up and look Rio in the eye “well I guess the boss has spoken hasn’t he Rio?” you give a half smile before turning to walk away 

“Oooohhh she called me a boss” you hear Nick comment rubbing it in as you walk away

Authors Note: Please leave your feedback, again please don't steal. Only repost, like, or give credit.

XOXO Rose

Taglist:

@katymae12344, @yinmaggiorebass , @flirtyjen, @wnbweasley, @meadows5, @belezaya

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

‘He Called It Jumbo’

CHAPTER TWO: The Johnson Treatment

Back in the 60s, I served as an aide to Lyndon Baines Johnson, often referred to by his initials LBJ, was the 36th president of the United States, U.S. representative and U.S. senator. Plus a philanderer of the highest order. Had a twenty year affair with one mistress, an illegitimate child with another mistress, and numerous brief affairs as well. And a few weeks ago, had me on his cock which calls "Jumbo." For obvious reasons.

Even after my encounter, President Johnson acted like nothing had happen and continued to rely on his bevy of babes referred to by the other his male aides as his harem. All of his secretaries, plus his two mistresses, got the Johnson Treatment. The Johnson Treatment you ask is when he'd corner someone, leaned his face into theirs and threatened, promised, flattered or cajoled, the person to give him what he wanted. This was the “Johnson Treatment.” Thanks in part to this tactic, Johnson would go on to become a powerful Senator and eventually President of the United States. Plus have a lot of sex.

And to give his wife, Lady Bird Johnson the illusion of being a faithful husband, he tasked the Secret Service with keeping his philandering from her. Even having a buzzer install to warn him when she's coming. Obviously, that didn't work as Lady Bird endured his behavior, with only occasional reprimands. One of which is having me work with him instead of one of his bevy of at secretaries.

For several weeks, I was tasked with working extra hours, including nights and weekends with President Johnson. Although he was crude as the day is long, I would find myself admiring his tall, lanky, 56-year-old figure. And of course, Jumbo. Meanwhile, I suspected he might be horned up, not having access to his harem. The tension I was feeling was distracting and unwelcome.

Just then, standing beside me, President Johnson openly rummaged around in his groin in a most histrionic fashion possible. I could see his cock straining against the material of his pants and I admit, I started to get pretty hard. I guess it was because I was surprised (and aroused) that I stared too long, and he noticed. I looked up and he was looking right at me, smiling.

"Damn, I could really use a good blow job. I'm so tense. Best medicine I know of, right son?" President Johnson flatly said.

By now, President Johnson is towering over me, invading my personal space as I uncomfortably lean back, clenching my arms to my chest, mumbling something inconsequential in response.

"You like sucking cock. Don't you Davis?"

"Ugh, er, I guess so Mr. President…", my voice trails.

"Get on your knees boy. Your President needs you."

I quickly went down to my knees and watched in growing excitement as he unbuckled his pants and pulled out a semi-erect Jumbo. I took a hold of his shaft, took the tip into my mouth and sucked on it, running my tongue around it and running the tip of my tongue along his opening, tasting the first bitter sweet drops of pre-cum. I did this till he began to stroke the back of my head, I then opened my mouth a bit further and went down his shaft. The old man moaned as I firmly sucked on Jumbo, feeling it grow in my mouth, mushrooming out.

Fully erect he was above average length at 12 to 13 inches and slightly above average thickness. It had been months since I had been with anyone else and it felt so good to a cock in my mouth again. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the smell of his crotch and the wet sounds of my lips sucking an erect shaft. The sensation of that cock sliding almost out of my mouth then, back in till it touched the back of my throat was incredible.

“Hell, that feels wonderful.” He added as he suddenly reached down and grabbed me behind the head with his huge, weathered hands.

Then he started moving my mouth up and down his thick dick shaft as he fucked my mouth like he was fucking some pussy. I took his plunging dick and made love to it with my tongue as the old man repeatedly shoved it down my throat and pulled it quickly back out.

“Damn, this is hot! Shit your mouth is better than a pussy.” President Johnson called out excitedly as he fucked my mouth faster and faster.

I could hear him panting as I felt the head of his wonderful cock swell just before he tightened his grip and put it fully in my mouth and began to cum. I almost gagged as his cum splashed the back of my throat, I swallowed most of it but some dribbled down my chin.

"You really know how to suck a cock, boy. Didn't take you long at all to get me off." He said as he slid his cock in and out of my wanting mouth, finishing his orgasm.

I smiled up at him as I wiped his man cream off my chin. I continued to stroke him as he petted my hair.

"Stand up and take those pants off." He said as he pulled me up to my feet and smacked my ass.

I did as I was told and was standing naked from the waist down with my hands on the desk spreading my legs slightly. Then he slid his hands down to my round ass and squeezed it before getting behind me, gripping my hips and spreading my ass cheeks with his thumbs. He rubbed the head of Jumbo along my crack and especially my pale pink button of an asshole before I heard him spit into his hand. Then I felt the pressure as he pushed the head into my man pussy, stretching me as it slipped past my opening. I groaned half in pain half in pleasure as he pierced me with his cock.

"That's it. Let ol' Jumbo in." The old man said as he slowly pulled out till the head almost slipped out then thrust it smoothly half back in.

Each entry into me made me catch my breath and made my chest tight as his rhythm began to pick up speed, grunting with pleasure. I gasped out loud as I pushed back against his thrusts enjoying the sound of skin slapping together, and that hard dick pounding my ass. He fucked me with a desperate need as fast as he could for another ten minutes.

"Oh God, you're so fucking big! Fuck me damn it FUCK ME! Damn it, fuck my hole! Own it!"

Hearing that, spurred him to pump into me faster and harder, forcing more moans and gasps from me. "God yes! Fuck me Mr. President, Fuck me!"

President Johnson's rhythm became erratic, my dick was vibrating with excitement and my balls were tight to my body waiting to cum. Suddenly, he pulled out, pressed the head of Jumbo against my ass and came. The first stream of his cum bounced back to cover the head of his dick, he pressed his hot cock up and the next stream went up my back. The last stream went into my opened hole. President Johnson moved the head around smearing his cum on my skin before he slipped it back down to my sore hole. I had came without even touching my cock, but hadn't noticed while he fucked me.  

"Damn boy, that was better then any pussy I have ever fucked." He said still smoothly pumping my ass like he was working up to come again.

"Damn, Mr. President, how long can you go?" I said as he pushed that wonderful cock back in me as far as it could go, sending a shiver through my balls and up my dick and through my chest.

"With an ass this tight, I can go for a while longer. But as much as I love this, we better get cleaned up before Bird comes a looking." He said holding himself in me for a moment longer than with drew.

"But I will find a way to fuck you again. Count on it."

We got cleaned up and dressed just before Lady Bird came though the Oval Office door. Ben told him I was everything he was told I was and more. And they went outside and talked. President Johnson was a man of his word. Between his wife, virtually all of his secretaries, his two mistresses and I got the Johnson Treatment. Johnson was a sexual beast who'd screw anything that would crawl, basically. He was a horny old man.

[imsoquarky]

Hi, Hello, I need to talk about Bruce

This beautiful man right here <3

IDK how much of this to consider spoilers for Trolls Band Together, so I'm doing all of it!

♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️ SPOILERS FOR BAND TOGETHER ♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️

Y'know, Branch's purple haired brother who's my favorite of his brothers for a few different reasons that I'm about to spew onto Tumblr at an unreasonable hour?

Okay so, Bruce is my favorite, and I think it's bullshit that the wiki calls him Spruce despite that not being his name anymore.

Trans headcanon? Maybe. Anyways!

I love how Bruce is written for many different reasons, I also love how he's handled when it comes to his body type.

1 minute before going on stage, JD says he expects 100 more crunches before show-time, which is insane considering Bruce (I know that's not his name at this point, but that is what we're calling him) has already done over 500, and 100 crunches in 60 seconds? I don't think that's even possible.

Ofc this is who JD is as a character, BUT THIS POST ISN'T ABOUT HIM, he's just a walking ick.

I can't imagine this kind of treatment, which is implied to have gone on for quite some time...

...would give anybody a positive view of their body. I'm not going to add things on to make JD a worse person, even if I don't like him, but from what bits and pieces we do see, he puts more emphasis on Bruce's physical body than any of his other brothers.

For his other brothers, it's more about their clothing and personality presentation. Bruce? The emphasis was his body, abs specifically.

It's not like he wasn't proud of them, but I feel as if they were another thing that still connected him to JD. All the brothers changed things about themselves that JD put emphasis on (Except Floyd, ig?).

But I'm straying away from the point I was trying to get to.

By the time we see Bruce again, he's lost the abs and put on some weight. However, this is not treated as a bad thing. Which I absolutely adore.

He's still perceived as attractive!! No jokes about "letting himself go" or even any jokes about putting on weight because he got married or whatever.

He's not muscular anymore, he's more laid-back and lives on VACATION ISLAND FOR FUCKS SAKE! He doesn't appear to have such a rigorous work-out routine anymore... Except his kids. I'd say having children 3 times your size would be intense.

Speaking of his children...

THIS MAN HAD THIRTEEN CHILDREN??? My man, why

But I digress.

Also, not only is him being plus-size not treated as a joke or a negative thing, but

HE STAYS THAT WAY!

Genuinely he makes me so happy, you guys have no idea. I love him.

Anyways, some smaller tid bits that I love about Bruce~

THIS MAN'S HAIR <3 <3 <3 <3 I will explode. ALSO THOSE BANGS AAAA

Him and his wife ughhhh <3 They're so goddamn cute.

Also we have a similar taste in women, which is "tall".

There are too many screenshots of his kids I could share, but I love dad Bruce.

This fucking quote.

It lives rent free in my brain and I laugh like a child every time I hear it.

Probably my #1 favorite quote from the entire movie I laughed so hard

Look at how cute he is here

Him looking so proud of his baby brother

Anyways it's 1 am and my alarm is set for 7 so ima go to bed. I have negative points about Bruce too that I do wanna touch on at some point, but I just needed to dump all my love for him.

This is my coping mechanism for finals week.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

CHRISTMAS WITH THE YELLOWJACKETS (headcanons)

SHAUNA

will forget to wrap your gifts until the very last minute and then spends hours wrapping , chugs a whole pot of coffee in preparation as if she bleeds espresso

her gifts are very thoughtful tho she gives the best christmas presents. shes perceptive to things you like and want, even if you don’t tell her she’ll notice if you’re eyeing something in a store while you’re out and will get it for you when you’re not looking

she can’t be fucked w christmas cookies though she’ll buy some at the store and plate them up all pretty and tell everyone she made them herself

anyway. she is passionate about the christmas tree (why does that sound dirty?) she needs the ornaments to be all in the right place and the lights to be equally distributed or else everything’s coming off and she’s putting it back on the right way

LOTTIE

NEEDS the entire wellness center to be decorated or else her seasonal depression makes her want to be chasing bitches through the woods with knives (again)

from the 5 exact same fics in the lottie tag i think we’ve all established that she can’t bake cookies even though she tries exceedingly hard

she buys all the seasonal coffee creamers that are all the fucked flavors , you’ll get in the fridge and be faced with “gingerbread candy cane sugar cookie mcgriddle subway sandwich taissa’s fresh farmed dirt” flavored coffee creamer

i can also see her getting hyperfixated on those “christmas baking championship” series , you don’t watch the show but you know everyone who’s eliminated each week by name

TAISSA

prepares a whole pot of dirt for the two of you

“I got this bucket of dirt from outside the boxing gym, it really packs a punch”

i’ll never not make fun of this bitch for eating dirt I’m sorry

anyway she probably hides your christmas presents but forgets where she hides them and then she has a little easter egg hunt for everything she bought you

you’ll be doing spring cleaning a few months later and be like oh my god look at _____ i told you i wanted this for christmas have you been hiding it???? and she’s like oh

she also has the BEST christmas songs playlist , possibly even better than van’s

VAN

if she buys you clothes they’ll be thrifted and she has this whole thing about how she doesn’t support fast fashion and at this point you’ve stopped asking for clothes bc girl keeps giving you dusty ass 60s shit and not the good kind

has old copies of all the good vintage christmas movies tho and you have movie nights with popcorn and blankets

she has a favorite peppermint scented candle that she always lights when you’re doing something christmassy, baking cookies or watching movies or whatever it may be

decorates the shop for christmas ‼️ and you help her and it’s absolutely gorgeous , she plays christmas carols all day during work

NATALIE

will probably buy you some rlly expensive alcohol tbh and you guys party like hell for christmas

will also get you something sentimental tho and act like it’s nothing when it’s everything

she’d be less into christmas than you but would be down to use it as an occasion to get lit, give you gifts, and tell you she loves you

and sex . just saying

MISTY

now LISTEN this girl goes all out

caligula has a miniature christmas tree in his cage and she reads the christmas carol to him every year

she really enjoys those little 5-7 minute vintage disney christmas shorts and will make you watch them with her because she thinks they’re so cute and funny

chip and dale reminds her of her and nat

she’s obviously chip in her mind and nat is dale

anyway

she’ll also hand make your presents, not all of them but I can definitely see her crocheting you something or smthn like that

in any case I’m going to bed my loves im exhausted and writing this before christmas bc i probably wont be active on christmas but MERRY CHRISTMAS i hope you all enjoy the holidays, thank you for reading and supporting <3

[caxycreations]

I hate to do this but

I need help. I need

so much fucking help.

There are a few major things I need.

TL;DR at the bottom, but I'd appreciate you read this to fully understand the situation I'm in.

I need to reacclimate to driving vehicles, so I can get from place to place on my own, but to do that I need help from someone willing to ride with me and help me feel calm in adjusting to being behind the wheel again.

I need to find work, consistent work, that pays at a regular rate, which isn't overwhelmingly fast-paced. Night shift, anywhere, or work from home, or even day shift at a place that isn't rapid-fire energetic work.

I need to save up, be able to put money back so I have enough for emergencies like car wrecks or hospital trips or some such, and so I have enough to save a nest egg to live off of eventually.

As it stands, my only two options for who can help me with driving outright refuse to do so. They won't give me the opportunity to get behind the wheel, and when asked why, it's because they just don't want to take the time for it. These are the same people who simply "didn't want to take the time" to help me reach a dentist before my health insurance ran out. The same people who demand I help them at every turn and lecture me on selfishness when I tell them I don't feel well enough to do it.

I can't find work. The only work from home jobs here call for certifications, licenses, neither of which i have, or they call for several hours of uninterrupted focus, which I can't get here because if anything as drastic as the dog sneezing happens, I'm the one ordered to deal with it. I don't have one uninterrupted hour, let alone enough for a full shift of work. As for out-of-home work, the only places within safe walking distance are the post office (which I failed the assessment for and can't retake for a year) or the cotton gin (which isn't hiring for any positions I qualify for). So with no options in town, I have to drive (see problem 1) to find work. Which I can't do. So I can't find work outside of my streaming and avatar comms, the former of which earns roughly $20-$25 a month, and doesn't pay until earnings hit $50...Basically, I'm earning $60-$70 every 2 months. I can't live off that.

And that leads to the saving issue. I make a max of $70 every 2 months, and a friend sends me $50 every 2 weeks to help me, which totals to $100 one month and $170 every other month if I earn the absolute maximum from my streams. The $100 of the first month goes to groceries, every time. It has to. The second $100 goes to groceries of that month, $50 goes to my phone bill because I have to have service for family emergencies, and the last $20 winds up going either to more groceries or to what miniscule enrichments I can get for myself to keep from going insane here. Which means I wind up with a profit of anywhere from $0-$20 every 2 months, depending on whether that 20 actually gets spent or not. And of course, if it isn't one month, it's spent the next for groceries. I have next to no profit, no savings.

Living here is poisoning me. I live in a sunroom. Not a bedroom, not "part of the house", not an apartment or studio. A sunroom. A singular room that contains every single thing I own, a mattress on the floor, and for the record, as a sunroom, it leads directly outside. Want to see my door?

That is the door between my room and the outside world. That, and a single glass door secured by a very small, very rusted door latch on one side, is my only protection from the elements and any potential intruders. The door, as you can see, isn't even fitted to the frame. It's held in place by gravity and a single nail.

And yes, that is the breaker box behind it, entirely uncovered and with exposed wiring. Should I make it worse?

That door, held up only by gravity and a single nail, were it to fall, would fall directly onto my bed. Why is my pillow at the closest end? Well because I can't sleep with my head at the other end because my totes with all of my stuff are at the other end, and the mice like running on top of those totes and I would rather not sleep head-closest to the end they play at. That big TV? Busted, belongs to my mom's husband, and they have nowhere else to put it. That monitor beside it? Busted, because my brother broke it trying to stand on his computer chair and rather than throw it out, they had him put it in here with "the other screen".

The clutter on my bed? A hot glue gun kit a friend bought me which has literally nowhere else to be.

TL;DR and conclusions

I can't take the steps to better myself alone. I need as much help as I can get. And given my major problems right now revolve around a lack of jobs/opportunities, inability to drive alone + nobody willing to ride with me, and inability to save up because of expenses, I can really only look at the things I can reach out for help on.

I've reached out to some friends to help me look for options regarding new living arrangements, but those arrangements mean nothing if I can't afford to go, or worse, can't afford to stay.

I've got to save up. I've got to have enough to put back. So that leads me to the ending note here.

If you can spare even one dollar, ANY amount of money, at all, it would help immensely. If you can't, then please reblog, spread the word and help me reach more people so I might finally get out of this place. Every cent given this way is going straight into a savings account, not to be spent until absolutely needed, or until an opportunity to get out of here surfaces.

You can help me through paypal or cashapp, either one. Cashtag is $Aazoth, Paypal fundraiser linked below. Don't stress over the amount, I only set it to the maximum because I need as much as I can get and I wasn't sure what to expect so...better safe than sorry, given idk how the fundraisers on there work. I'd have set it to end later but I can't. I'll update y'all with a new one when this one ends.

@sparrowcraft @moremysteriesthantragedies @thetruearchmagos @a-scaly-troublemaker @that-one-enby-onyx @snakelovingnerd @eldritchx @leisoree @amerylise @profoundlyhauntedclaws @thefinalgoat @leisurelywingedlemon

[cybernetic-panda]

Okay so I finally got the spell slots to write my first little fanfic! Any feedback is appreciated andddd whatever else!

It's been a year since the events of the movie. Orm traveled for a while but still wanted to grow his familial connection with Arthur and Atlanna. Arthur has a friend relatively nearby to the lighthouse. Allowing space between the two brothers, but Orm is close enough for Arthur to tap his guidance. 

Noelle works as a blacksmith. She sells stuff online and travels for conventions, is obsessed with Atlantis weaponry and armor. Met Arthur when he was younger training with Dafoe Char and begged to see his cool ass weapon. Is a metahuman essentially like a wyvern. Her scales are bronze she can withstand high temperatures and can hold her breath for 60 minutes. (Like a water dragon essentially) Functions okay in society mostly wears under armor to cover the scales that show on her limbs and makeup on her face. 

The high point of Noelle's year was finally being able to get her hands on Atlanis scrap metal. After nagging Arthur for years she'd finally got the best gift from him. Well, not so much from him but telling his fantastic mother, Atlanna, what she wanted to make. Low and behold not less than 24 hours later Arthur presented himself at her workshop with a beautiful haul. 

"Can't believe you complained to my mom Noe." He huffed throwing down the sack of metal. "I was gonna get to it eventually."

Humming Noelle nodded and started to sort through her new treasure trove. "Christmas is right around the corner Arthur. I can't make Orm's gift with the shit I have here, it had to be from Atlantian metal." She pauses and turns to give him a stern look. "If you had gotten the scraps I asked for I dunno, fifteen years ago when I started asking I would've been done AND been able to make you kickass weapons for those last couple big bad fights you've had. So swim off my friend I will see you in three weeks, as you still took your sweet time I have to work straight to the day of to make Orm's gift."

Arthur breaks out in a grin and begins to walk away."I expect a cool gift too this year! And a fucking kickass weapon for Junior!"

"Of course, I'm making Juniors' first trident, I'm the royal blacksmith!" Noelle quipped back without looking at him.

"Yeah still gotta go through "official" channels for that, still hell ya!"

-Fast Forward Three Weeks-

"Sorry for being late! Doing some finishing touches." Out of breath, Noelle breached the front door of the lighthouse. 

Tom was the first welcoming face Noelle catches. "Don't fret you're not late, just finishing up Junior opening presents first.' Wrapping his arm around Atlanna he places a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Heard we'll be seeing something impressive from you this evening." 

Laughing awkwardly "Well I certainly hope so, if it's okay I wanna give Orm my gift really quick. Don't think I can wait another second! I wrapped it and whatnot but I'm excited to see him open it." Tom motioned to the back porch where Orm and Arthur were having what looked like a heated debate. "Thank you!" Noelle placed her bag of gifts to the side and clutching the weapon case proceeded to the backdoor.

"You cannot just allow anyone to come into Atlantis if they beat you in an arm wrestling match. That one makes no sense, two is not a basis for immigration or visitation. I agreed with you in revealing Atlantis to the surface world, but I cannot agree with such a pufferfish-brained idea!" Orm finishes his tangent with a huff and runs his hand through his hair. Looking up he spots Noelle coming out and unfurrows his brow. "Noelle tell Arthur that flexing his muscles at everything is not the answer." 

Chuckling Noelle breaks into a large grin, "You know he's joking Orm. I mean if it's the same 'arm wrestle to barter, debate, etc.' idea he had when he was seventeen then I assume he's joking." Turning to Arthur Noelle cocks her head questioningly. "Ruffling his feathers again for fun?"

Getting up from where he was leaning on the railing, putting his hands up in a defensive manner, "Ya got me! I already took your notes for an ideal visitation selection and immigration policy for surface dwellers and Atlannians. Still working on conditions for both to visit safely, but eh ya know nerd stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna head inside and let you kids enjoy a moment.' Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Orm and Noelle, Arthur sauntered back in the house. 

"Alllll right well whatever on that. Orm! I have a Christmas gift for you!." Noelle thrusts the case on Orm with an oomph! and began to watch him with giddy anticipation. 

Orm takes a second to recover and evaluate the case in front of him, as he does Noelle not being able to contain her giddiness starts to describe the case.

"SO I was thinking of a combination of land and sea, you'll notice them with the whole gift. The case is made of a couple of layers of driftwood and I got your mom to help with the Atlantian Script."  Orm runs his hands over the Orm Marius etched into the box and smiles. He places the case on the railing has his carefully opens the case. As he opens the case completely his breath catches in his throat and he freezes. Sensing some confusion Noelle steps closer and continues her description. 

"So all royals have a trident annndd yours broke so ta-da! The handle is made from a piece of your mother's original trident Arthur was able to find. And then.." Noelles' voice fades away as Orm focuses on each inch of the trident. After a moment he finally starts to grasp the the weapon with both hands to take it out of its case. Miracously its feels like an extension of himself, the weight of the weapon feels right. When moving his hands a bit more something catches his right hand he lifts it up closer and sees inscribed on the handle in Altantian 'OceanMaster'. Noelle's voice fades back in," I had put OceanMaster because ya know I think it fits you in the way you've Mastered the ocean and are an advisor to the King of the Oceans. I can buff it out if it is too much." Noelle nervously sways back and forth on her heels looking down and waiting for some form of answer.

"I accept." Orm finally replies after what feels like hours. Noelle looks up in confusion as Orm gingerly leans the trident on the railing swings around picks up Noelle in a bridal carry. "I accept your proposal and will be honored to be your husband. I'm sorry I have nothing prepared in return." He kisses her tenderly on her lips as she still processes what he's saying. "However," He leans in close to whisper, "I can certainly make it up to you when we go home this evening." 

[just-prime]

7 down, 1 to go

We are almost in the home stretch people. One more week, and then this literal shit show will be over

This week we had Thrawn throwing shade, our heroes are reunited, and yet another dumb half hour of chasing our tails...followed by 8 minutes of credits.

First off, these actors clearly, desperately need any sort of combat training. Because everything feels so hollow and slowed down. Ahsoka was never this slow, and yes I know this isn't animation, but if nearly 60 year old Keanu Reeves can make action believable and smooth, so can 44 year old Rosario Dawson. Or 29 year old Natasha Liu Bordizzo. Or 26 year old Eman Esfandi. No hate to these actors (on this specifically) they clearly where just not given any of the proper training to pull of any of this combat believably.

Also, why is this show obsessed with making Ahsoka a FUCKING BAD PILOT. Anakin was the one (I'm assuming) who taught her to fly...so why isn't she good at it??? Every time she gets into the cockpit things immediately go badly.

Speaking of the combat, why is every shot in that chase sequence one of the same 4 angles nevers deviating from the simple tracking shot? Why is it so BORING? They could have had fun with these little bumper cars that the little hermit crab people have. Also, I struggle to believe that a species that lives on the homeworld of the Dathomiri witches are 'peaceful' and 'unarmed' and yet haven't been wiped out eons ago. Like, it's the ewoks again, but worse, because the ewoks at least had a believable amount of weapons and traps for their carnivorous teddy bear lifestyle!

Jumping back a moment to the cold open, once again this show is making me actively route against the New Republic. Remember when the New Republic was something that was to be celebrated? A representation of how good triumphs over evil, that love wins out in the end? That a father could see the error of his ways, and give everything he has to ensure that his children get to see a world better than the one he built?

3PO showing up is just one more in the long line of lazy cameos meant to engage the children and pacify the sceptics. I think we all know that if they could get away with it, Disney would have rolled out a plastic CGI soulless version of Leia. Hopefully that will never happen. Still don't understand why they didn't just have Zeb accompany 3PO to make Leia throwing around her weight more official.

Once again, I voice my complaint at this show's refusal to acknowledge Kallus. Sabine told Ezra about Zeb and Hera, why'd Alexsandr get left out? :(

Anyway, like I said, not a ton happens.

Baylan sits back and send Shin to do his dirty work. Unclear if he is still totally on board with everything that is happening.

Ahsoka swoops in at the last minute to save Ezra and Sabine.

Thrawn says "Anakin Skywalker" and doesn't immediately ask who that was, so I am taking that as a itty-bitty win for the Thrawn Alliances fans.

Oh, and the makeup still looks like absolute dog shit.

And it is very obvious that this is all going to end on a big old fucking cliffhanger to set up the Heir to the Empire movie.

So yeah, I hate everything about this, including the fact that we now have confirmation that Sabine is at least a little force sensitive.

[squided]

Has anyone else experienced their parents getting progressively more rude, intrusive, and hypocritical as they got older? Like my mom had me pretty late in life (she was 37) so I recognize I have an older mom than most. And yeah during my teenage years and stuff I thought she was annoying but she was genuinely a good and caring mom. But honestly I've noticed since she's hit her 60s and went through a bad second marriage, she lashes out a lot, expects me to be productive 7 days a week, essentially work all day long, spend 1 hour of relaxation, and then sleep. Anytime this gets me agitated, she goes on about how she needs to work two jobs and 7 days a week and SHE never gets rest and I don't see HER complaining (she is literally complaining about it all the time). Essentially since ive had to live with her again temporarily I've put up with it and have taken on the same workload as her and I've discovered.... there's no way to please her. Every day I should be studying so I can get certifications, I should be looking at new jobs because she doesn't approve of how my managers treat me at my minimum wage job (every job I've had so far), I need to clean the house and my room, I need to go to work, I need to look at universities, I need to make 10 phone calls that will keep me on hold for an hour at a time, I need to pull the weeds in the yard. If I fail a single task, it's met with disappointment and talking about how much work she does and how little I do. If I do all the tasks, then come a list of questions: how's my money doing? Have I been saving it or spending it recklessly? Have I tried quitting smoking yet? Have I cleaned some obscure thing she mentioned a month ago and I forgot about? This keeps going until I give an answer she doesn't like and then we are back at my generation being so lazy, how the younger people just don't work as well as her generation did.

And the thing is... she never used to talk like this. She was always far left, full equality, against classism and ageism. But then the "unbiased" news changed. It stopped covering certain things the US didn't want covered. Suddenly I'm explaining to her that in Israel, people will have parties while watching the bombs drop, there are "settlers" going into Gaza and just claiming other people's land. And she says that's not true, she didn't see it on the news, she looked it up online and the major news sites never covered it once since 2014. Every time I bring up some horrible thing that's definitely happening, she just says I've become a conspiracy theorist and MY thinking is really dangerous and she's worried about me (at which point I snapped a bit and told her that actually her willful ignorance is extremely dangerous and what leads to all these atrocities getting swept under the rug. She threatened to kick me out for being so incredibly disrespectful to her).

I don't know what the point of this post is anymore. Maybe I just wanna ramble about someone I truly respected slowly becoming someone I can barely stand to hold a conversation with. Maybe it has something to do with how people are told to only trust big news organizations for real news and then they censor it so all real news looks like conspiracy theorist trash. Or maybe it just has something to do with age, some sort of thing that naturally occurs as you approach a certain age, and the only way to prevent it is to be aware it's occurring and reject its falsehoods. Or I don't know dude... I've been stuck inside for a month... I think I just needed to fucking vent to the Great Void. If you're listening, hey there Great Void, I hope you're doing better than I am.

[that-gay-jedi]

I promise I'll stop with my aging anticapitalist yells at cloud type posts after this one but like. Hear me out.

So I've been trying to wean off Audible for their accursed business practices, right? And I use Libby but 10 audiobooks only lasts me like 1 week if I pick long ones, so I'm like some kind of library werewolf who only borrows digital content for the full moon or someshit, ok?

So until my beloved wife NewPipe comes back from the war I've been listening to yt on Firefox, right? Well.

Yt is so determined to enshittify that if you don't disable the yt app (because you can't uninstall it which IMHO means it's officially, inarguably and forever bloatware now) it will open the app instead of the webpage with so little fanfare that if you aren't intentionally watching for it you won't even notice the window shift.

And like. I'm watching like 90 minute lectures from random professors from schools I'll never see giving talks to like 10 people in forgotten university backrooms or for like the anniversary of some church regarded as architecturally significant or as part of winning academic awards I've never heard of etc.

Some of these videos are from like 2013 and you can almost garauntee the speaker uploaded it or agreed to have it filmed + uploaded specifically because they wanted more people to hear their presentation than could or would be present when they originally made it. When you're nerdy about something you usually want to share it, these aren't YouTube Personalities(tm), they're sharing the obscure joys of their phD with losers like me who can't go to school.

You have to wonder if they would have chosen a different platform or gotten a website of their own to put it up on or something if they'd known their lectures, and I mean some of them are putting up entire 10+ hour courses recorded in their own classrooms for FREE solely because they wanted to and could, would become so thoroughly affected by corporate bullshit.

Most lecturers promoted nothing or at most namedropped their own book like once, but their work is now so thoroughly ad-ridden and Schrodinger's paywalled* as to become unwatchable without a bit more spite and tech flexibility** than should be required when the whole point was to share the fucking thing.

Some of those who uploaded content have long since stopped, whether because they've already put up everything they wanted the public to see or because, and in some cases some of them were not at all young in 2008, they've gone on to the big classroom in the sky. Which makes retroactively barriering something they taught freely seem awfully ghoulish if you ask me.

* You know how like, you technically CAN watch videos free on vanilla yt but you can't minimize the window or do anything else with your screen while they're playing? That's the kind of scumbag plausible deniability I'm calling Schrodinger's paywall.

** While it doesn't require much tech savviness to switch to ff or use a frontend for yt, the fact that it requires any at all goes against the spirit of sharing. Your grandma's grandma who remembers party landlines and had to be cajoled to even get a flip phone should be able to ask you "Can you show me that video again with the nice young man talking about the Odyssey?" (the young man is in his 60s) and watch it on a 1995 tower pc with a CRT monitor if she damn well pleases.

[dreamlanddeluxe]

pro-tip from someone who has had stretches pf insomnia like this since high school: (bc your posts makes it sound like a new development and like youre scared, so i want to help. sorry this unsolicited)

but literally?? fake it

fake sleeping. youre going to lie down, close your eyes, shift when youre uncomfortable, but keep your eyes closed and stay laying down. try to keep your mind as blank as possible, thats really hard for me specifically, so i legit will listen to videos or podcasts or music or ocean-waves as i fake-sleep (bonus, i found something that works for me 60, 70% of the time are those ASMR roleplay videos where it'll be like "your boyfriend/girlfriend talks to you while you sleep" or "you get confessed to while youre asleep" or literally anything where i have to "roleplay" being asleep?? weirdly? flips a switch and ill be KOed before the video ends. what the fuck. but thats niche as hell, idk if itll work for you, but it is an "experiment! you never know" encouragement)

and youre going to want to fake-sleep as best as you can, even if youre actually awake the whole 8+ hours, because it legit tricks your brain into thinking youre asleep enough that it gives you those chemicals you need from sleeping that help regenerate your energy and whatnot. like scientists found this works really well, insomniacs who did this instead of their phone or tasks or reading, even if they rarely fell asleep while fake-sleeping, not only recorded feeling a lot better than the control group who was not given this order to sleep like this, but also had more balanced chemical stuff. i like to akin ir to a cell-phone charge. youre not going to get the 100% you would from actually sleeping, but going from a 20% to a 65% is still p huge and very helpful. before i was told this tip, i literally would meditate to recoup; and shockingly meditation releases those same chemicals so like. i was already doing it. just. sitting up instead of laying down lol

also, please do talk to a doctor about getting a sleep study done or something if you have the insurance to afford it. but this is a tip you can do in the meantime in addition to other experimentations thatll help you out. youll still feel exhausted (esp if you cant quiet your brain. my AuDHD mind shuts the fuck when other people speak, so the audio-roleplay and podcast and video-essay people have been god-sends), you won't be that 100% refresh as i already said, but it also wont be AS compounded of an exhaustion which is so helpful when your metaphorical battery is just going down and down and down— to have SOMETHING charge it even a bit or just stall it. i dont want you to think this is a "youll feel back to normal!" cure-all; it truly is the epitome of a "well, thatll help it not get WORSE at any rate, and maybe a bit better" type of rhetoric

for now, i would recommend doing a fake-nap, pick x-amount of hours that feels most comfortable to you (my pick is usually 3 or 4, but my lil sister found she prefers 2 hour long fake-naps and my other lil sister just goes "fuck it, no fake-nap, only fake-sleep; im doing 8+ hours" lmao), see if it at least takes the edge off

i have said a lot of "temper your expectations" type of stuff but i will also say this: at one point, this tip literally saved my life. because i spent 2.5 months running on a total of 4 to 6 hours of legit-sleep per week or per week-and-a-half throughout. and that kinda shit, i belatedly found out, should mean i should be dead. but i was fake-sleeping at least 5 hours a night. and my family's doctor went "uhhhhh thank god i showed your mom that study i guess, omfg". so like. i swear it helps. just. ALSO temper your expectations on how much it helps lol

if this is unsolicited and feels unwarranted, i apologize. im not good at reading tone in text, and just wanted to help. i hope this does help you out, you got this, i believe in you!!

Hey no worries, I appreciate you taking the time to type all this out. Recently (like, within the past one to two years or so) I’ve been more prone to bouts of restlessness and the fake sleeping is actually something I practice and it does help me most of the time. I think right now it’s more of a stress induced sort of thing more than anything that’s led to me having more trouble. Might just be one of those things I gotta wait out to be honest. When I do have a moment where I can’t sleep right it doesn’t last more than a few days normally so I don’t imagine this being different I hope. Maybe seeing a doctor would help but I’ll be honest there’s a probably a few things I should be seeing a doctor about and I just don’t have the money for that lol. But still like I said I appreciate you taking the time to try and help me out and offer some advice that’s very kind of you 🫶

[todays-just-a-daydream]

You guys supported Oasis back in ‘94.

Yeah?

There’s a rumor of you almost breaking up the band and spawning the whole ‘Talk Tonight’ song origin story, in which Noel goes off to San Francisco and writes a song about his time with a girl who essentially prevented him from giving up music forever. Is that true?

Well, like all the best stories in the world musicians love to fucking folklore themselves up the wazoo, about the ins and outs and what have you’s of their lives, but oftentimes those tend to be absolute BS and oftentimes they can be somewhere in between.

In between?

The deal with Oasis on that night was we had played with Sonic Boom and Spectrum the night before in Santa Barbara, which is adjacent to Los Angeles California. And we did the gig and drove back to San Francisco, which is a 6-7 hour drive. And we showed up at the club, it was one of our home team clubs called Bottom of the Hill and played for Oasis. And the way that this came to be is that I worked at Reckless Records, even before the Chicago store opened, there was one in San Francisco, and I worked there.

That’s cool considering that the London store is on Berwick Street where they shot the ‘(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?’ cover!

Exactly! And originally, they had a store in San Francisco and that’s where I worked. This is ‘94. This is when all the shit’s coming out, before it was the shit! There was no such term as Britpop at the time. So I see this stack of new releases come down from DudeBro who has to pass down all the new releases, and on top of it is a CD single. And it’s this band Oasis. And y’know, if you look at the single cover of Oasis they don’t look that cool. They’re kinda frumpy.

So what happened that night?

This is going to be a longer interview than you thought man. Cause I love buildups. So I listen to the single ‘Supersonic’, that was the one on the stack, and that one didn’t really do it for me, it wasn’t all vintagey and cool, the amp sounds sounded kind of like a Tom Petty record. That wasn’t it. But the B side was ‘Columbia’.

‘Columbia’ is great. Beast of a song.

Well yes, ‘Columbia’ is where all the cocaine comes from. Hence the title. And I was a huge speed freak in the 90’s because in the 90’s, uppers were serving the same purpose as they were in the 60’s with Andy Warhol, or cocaine was in the flapper period. So I got that. What they were trying to say, I dug that. You with me?

I’m with you.

Do you even care? How many pages do you get for this?

However many pages you want.

Well, I’m probably more interesting than a lot of the jive ass – psych fucking crap that has to get printed these days. I’ve been around a bit. So then the ‘Shakermaker’ single came out a couple of months later. You know, ‘Shakermaker’, “shake along with me”, et cetera et cetera. I currently was shaking along to the Brian Jonestown Massacre on Maracas, and I thought “oh well that’s kind of cool!” and I kind of related to that. Then ‘Live Forever’ came out. I was in, then I loved the band. Then the first album came out and then the advertisement came out that they were playing at our local haunt Bottom of the Hill. So I got our manager to get us a gig there to open for them and we played the gig with Oasis.

Did you know they were going to be big?

Absolutely! Well they already kind of were because ‘Definitely, Maybe’ had come out two weeks before, but they’re playing this theatre which is a 250 person club, when they could be playing to fuckin’ 10,000!

A couple of years later they were at Knebworth, then Glasto, then Wembley. The list goes on. Pretty Meteoric. Anyway, back to your story.

I’m out of my mind on the most righteous methamphetamine that’s ever been bequeathed by the science of man, and we pulled up to the club to do soundcheck. And sure enough, there’s their big ass fuckin bus, we had never been on a big ass fucking bus, we didn’t know what that was about. I’m thinking to myself, “Alright ‘Shakermakers’, let’s hit the road and go to ‘Columbia’” And the first thing I did was go and knock on the door of the bus. Noel Gallagher opens the door. And I say to him, “Hey man, I’ve got the most righteous fucking speed you’re ever going to do in your life”

(Joel in a very poor British accent) “No thanks man we only do coke”

And he shuts the door. And I’m looking at my own reflection like “what!?” Fast forward an hour later, and the girl that I scored speed for ran into Liam coming out of the soundcheck. And she’s like “hey do you wanna do any?” and Liam’s “Mr mad fer it” guy, so he does it, then he gives it to Bonehead, then he gives it to the whole fuckin band and the whole goddamn crew, and they’re playing the gig that night, and all the jaws are just working like old fashioned train crankshafts, and they had never heard nor seen nor felt anything like that, but that is what I was doing every day. It was, as they called it, “Ninja Speed”.

Interview with Joel Gion from The Brian Jonestown Massacre on Oasis at the Whisky 1994

[cowboyjen68]

Oh cowboyjen, the world feels so harsh and damaging and I feel so small. I’m a child of abuse and I feel like I had to teach myself everything to heal myself - but not before I fucked up my life and squandered a windfall that could have ensured my comfortable retirement. I’m so sad and angry and ashamed. I was only doing the best I could at the time. Why is the world so messed up and harsh? Do you think it’s getting better? I’m heartbroken.

I know the world is scary and unpredictable and dangerous. The bad news is, it always had been. Which is also the good news in some ways. The cycle of our world is that it is a constant battle of unfair vs fair and love vs hate and good vs evil and dangerous vs safe. When humans are involved the there will always be an up and down and back and forth in the world we are given to live in. It can be awful to see hurt in the world but can be reassuring to know it is nothing new, only the details and humans find a way to bring comfort and happiness to each other and themselves time after time. 

I had a pretty happy and healthy upbringing and I STILL managed to waste the hard earned money my mom and dad left to me. It was not a windfall but sure would have made my life more financially stable.  At the time I let my wife spend most of it and I take the blame. She was following her own patterns from growing up poor and I did not have the courage to say “no”. The loss caused me to do a few things that, had they continued, could have had a devastating impact on my life. 

After we split up I had the choice of continuing to spend my energy on wishing things were different and to wonder “what if” or do some actual work to make my life better, if not immediately, at least in my future.  My friends encouraged me to get a therapist and to figure out what priorities were important to me. The problem I was facing, which sounds like you are also struggling with, was the fact that I felt so overwhelmed I was stuck in the mud of what was done and unable to know how or what step to take to get back to solid ground. 

I listed on paper what I wanted. I listened to myself. The Me now and not the one from the past. It took several tries to be honest with myself and to lay out a plan. I was, like you, so ashamed of my actions I wasn’t seeking help or trying to find ways to improve my lot in life. When I asked for help I was sure people were judging me and I had to be okay with that happening to get the the resources that could give me some leverage to move on and improve my life.

The pep talk is you are not the only one who screwed up life by not being financially responsible and you can make up for lost chances. Now here are a few of the solid lessons I learned:

Ask your bank for help. Mine has a FREE financial planning/debt reduction planning service and app that I knew nothing about. Look to social services, even ones you think you are not eligible to use. Social workers are masters of networking and if they can’t help they might know someone who can. Don’t ever be ashamed to use local foodbanks or clothing banks. Saving 20.00 from the grocery store is 20.00 you can save or use to put gas in the car to continue working. Don’t spend money to save money. You don’t need an pricey app or special account or fancy investments. A simple free savings account at a credit union is a great start. 

I work three jobs and 7 days a week. I take any hours offered me and I am never afraid to take a few Cash Under The Table jobs when they arise. At 54 I didn’t want to be working 60 to 80 hours a week. BUT I have goals and that is what it is going to take to reach them. I did however, promise myself to not be miserable at my job so I work at three places I love. this was my compromise. I will work my ass off but not as jobs I hate.  This is my good fortune and I don’t take any of that for granted.  

There will be sacrifices to play catch up in your life BUT you can decide which things you are willing to sacrifice and what you will not. Be aware of these decisions and don’t act out of emotions. Weigh the next step with your happiness and how it will affect your success to find the balance. 

You will get your head above water again but it does take work. Sadly our life is not a cute 3 minute montage with a catchy song in some feel good rags to riches movie. It takes time and effort and focus. I do promise. The work, and YOU are worth it. 

[ivebeenmade]

Been up since about 8:30. She woke up feeling ill. I tried to get us both back to bed since I don't work until 1. Despite falling asleep into.her redbull about 10 times (and she fucking needs sleep) she got angry the moment I laid down with her.

Things we've fought about as follows.

1.) I was going to make breakfast. We have sausages and some mini seasoned potatoes. Sounds pretty good to me. She snaps back that we can't have breakfast because I "broke" the last bottle of maple syrup. *We* used it actually. And all the breakfast stuff comes from a shopping trip just her and her mother were on yesterday. But I should have gone out and replaced the maple syrup we didn't need I guess.

2.) I cleaned our entire kitchen yesterday. It took me 4 hours. I was just getting finished when she got back home from her treatment. She never said "thank you" or "that looks good". Nope. Her exact words? "I see the kitchen got cleaned, that's nice" and at least there was an uptick in her tone though I wish there hadn't been because apparently she was, in her words, "livid" when she saw the kitchen. Why? I hadn't done one final mop of the floor, cleared the cheap wire stand we use to store cans (we're replacing it/moving it/who knows). And finally, the most insulting, she's pissed off because I had yet to clean off the counters. Which was my next step before she walked in the door. I'm always very frustrated, and treated like I'm some nuisance or home invader, if I clean while she's home. She either complains about the noise, or complains that I'm "ignoring" her.

I understand deeply that she is suffering from a very difficult physical illness. My aunt died from it when I was a kid, my other aunt is in an assisted living home and probably won't make it long. So I fucking well understand her suffering. And I try everything to accommodate. And she just shits on me.

Oh, right, the bonus: my employer has developed a personal prejudice against me. Not getting into it, but I am no where near adjacent to guilty of what he's claiming. Despite that, they've been giving me no more than 16 hours for a couple weeks now. So my girlfriend(!) the person who was my best friend since we were, I dunno, 6, says "forget it, I'll finish cleaning myself...let's see if I can afford the supplies with your shitty check".

Why would someone who loves me say something so horrible? I would gladly go to work for 40, 50, 60, hours if it meant not being around long enough for her to come up with more ways to hurt me.

The really, stupidly fucked up thing though? I've found myself feeling guilty about the dog having to live in a house where people just yell, or stay totally silent for hours just so they can stomach each other. My dog knows when I'm sad, he comes to me and hugs me and sits as close as possible, and he'll just give me the biggest beautiful eyes while I'm crying, and kiss my face. He's such a good boy.

I'm so broken. I don't know if I can fix this. I don't think she wants me to. I miss us so much, I can feel this open would on my soul, just bleeding slowly, just losing everything I thought I was.

[danny-chase]

Hullo. May I ask why Dick is blorbo? No real reason, I'm just a curious and nosy follower :D

1. Young Justice - this show was a big reason why I got back into DC, and when I was younger, Dick and Artemis were my favorite characters because they were humans among superhuman people, and I found that neat. Young Justice season 3 I liked Dicks character arc and also-

2. I'm a sucker for sadboys. I think characters look better with a bit of blood on their faces. Connecting back to young justice season 3, Dick is a major sadboy 😅 shortly after watching season 3 of young justice, i started working 60-70 hour weeks (just for 1 summer) and to get through the day i would make up stories about how i thought Dicks season 4 arcs would go (this really cemented him as blorbo)

3. An irl friend was also into young justice, she got into batfam stuff, I'd never read fanfic before, and seeing her read it at first i was like "pffft i wouldn't get into that lame stuff" and lo and behold i got curious and spiraled. There's a looooot of sadboy Dick fics out there. Like. A lot. But yeah i started out as a batfam stan rather than a titans one, and in my heart i love both and theres an internal battle that wages within me

4. At the same time (or before?) i started reading fics, i also got into the comics from Young Justice. Part of the reason i like Dick is because there's literally just so much content i can read, and i started reading and rereading his solo runs and eventually branched out into titans comics. Not all his comics appearances are good, but I like having a lot of content 😅 it helps spark ideas and gives me "i can fix it" disease

5. His relationships with people!!!! A core reason of why I love the character is all the great relationships he's had across canon. He's a big brother/mentor to Tim and Damian (with Tim i love the image of infallibility Dick has, and his slow fall off the pedestal, and with Damian they start at the bottom and build things up from scratch - i love how he has to earn Damians respect by putting in the work). His relationship with Jason especially pre-reboot is a gold mind of agnst (like. Little brother dies while you're in space and your dad doesn't bother inviting you to the funeral *screams* and blames you for his death to some extent) - the way he knew Jason and they got along fine, though they didn't interact like a ton (i see it as like. Older sibling who's in college) and then one day he's just gone, then comes back and wants to kill you and is so blinded by revenge on your dead father he will destroy everything in his path is just, so much potential here. His relationship with Bruce makes me scream. I liked the few interactions he has with Cass before she got yeeted by DC. And moving outside the family, the found family aspect of the Titans i literally love so much. I cherish his friendship with Donna, I'm a big fan of platonic m/f relationships being given importance and weight, plus again the whole "i love angst" thing was on fire when she dies. I love his relationship with Roy, the way they push one another and butt heads while still deeply trusting one another + the thinly veiled sexual tension between them (i say thinly veiled because Grace literally points it out in Outsiders). His friendship with Wally is also fun, i like reading their team ups. There's so many characters that he interacts with it just sets up so many possible stories, and i love how interconnected he is in the superhero community

6. Man vs world. I like that Dick is a (mostly - everyone has flaws, and Dick does fuck up in canon) well intentioned person struggling against the injustices of the world. That's the long way of saying "i like him because he's a hero". But part of that is like - a lot of his battles narratively fall into man vs world (especially in his solos), with a bit of man vs self here and there, and i like these categories. Most of his conflict is external, and while i like some internal conflict, i get a little bit bored when characters in comics are too introspective - like some of this i don't mind, bonus points if the internal and external conflicts are aligned in a satisfactory way, but DC comics only lets characters grow so much, so introspective stuff can get repetitive imo

There's probably more reasons but this is what i can think of off the top of my head