#glowofthevendingmachine

[ess-presso]

upon @rays-of-raven 's request ...

nunsdontworkonsundays

waririses

glowofthevendingmachine

summersareknives

cowboylikeess

esselte

[welllpthisishappening]

fav moments from the hamilfilm?

Oh gosh, do you have approximately forty-seven years? There are so many parts of Hamilton that I absolutely love and I am not even remotely exaggerating when I tell you that I have never cried more in public than I did while seeing the OBC. (Also, we went like...three days before Justin and I got married, so that was a pretty top-notch week as far as weeks go.) But getting the chance to see the show again brought back a lot of my 2015 Hamilton feelings, so here we go:

1. Hamilton meeting Burr for the first time and Burr is like...bro, lemme buy you a drink, here’s some advice SHUT THE FUCK UP. But, you know, like in a nice way. With a smile. 

2. At the start of Right Hand Man, they repeat 32,000 troops in New York harbor three times. You know what that adds up to? 96,000. Like the song in In the Heights.

3. How gruff Hamilton’s voice gets at long as I’m alive, Eliza...because the whole song is supposed to be an homage to the Ashanti and Ja-Rule songs of the early 2000s and like those were jams. J A M S. 

4. It’s before the song, but everyone ragging on Burr for his girlfriend? Yes. Good. Love it. But also the Wait for It. My favorite song in the show. 

5. In Stay Alive, the bullet that just goes above Hamilton’s head??? I never noticed that before. (Or how that ensemble member is the bullet throughout the show and basically the harbinger of death and I just—)

6. I read once that Daveed Diggs wasn’t sure how he was going to play Jefferson and then costume brought him the purple jacket and he was like...alright, got it. And, like, that purple jacket. Everything Daveed does in the second act is incredible. 

7. I hadn’t noticed before that Maria Reynolds hands Hamilton the quill he uses to write the Reynolds Pamphlet. Or that Philip is seen reading it on stage. 

8. It is insane to suggest this is one of my favorite parts, but when we went I had no idea that Eliza screams the way she does after Philip dies. And I just—was not prepared??? It is gut wrenching. Also! Forgiveness, can you imagine? Oof. I can’t listen to that song in the car, I cry too hard. 

9. BECAUSE I’M THE PRESIDENT. Seriously, Daveed Diggs. 

10. The last line Burr says to Hamilton (although it’s kind of...to the world) is WAIT and I got a lot of feelings about that. 

[tellwhichsmilesimfakin]

glowofthevendingmachine —> illicitaffairslongingstares

(i changed it a few days ago but completely forgot to do this oopsies)

[welllpthisishappening]

freaking hell laura, that one shot was obscenely wonderful

Listen, you’re wonderful. That’s it and that’s all. I genuinely loved writing Feeling As Good As Love and the exceptionally nice words about it have been even nicer. It’s been awhile since I’ve written something Captain Swan that wasn’t an extension of another verse, so jumping into something new and banter’y and very kiss-prone was a lot of fun. 

I’m so glad you enjoyed it! 

[welllpthisishappening]

shout about sirius black, please

First, it should be said up front, that Sirius Black is my favorite character in the Harry Potter universe. Like, bar none. If it wasn’t weird to name a kid Sirius, I would and that’s why when we inevitably adopt a black lab we will name him Padfoot. It’s not even up for debate. 

So. My Sirius Black feelings are vast. 

Do you ever think about teenage Sirius Black growing up in 12 Grimmauld Place, despising everything about his family, running away from home, only to end up back there because DESPITE ESCAPING AZKABAN FOR A CRIME HE DID NOT COMMIT he was now just in a different prison???

BECAUSE I DO. OFTEN. AND IT SADDENS ME. 

Which brings us to our Albus Dumbledore can get kicked in the shins portion of the evening. I’ve read far too much meta about this, but I tend to agree with:

Dumbledore didn’t particularly like Sirius (or make any move to clear his name) because Sirius was not someone he could control. Sirius trusted Dumbledore. Sirius thought Dumbledore was intelligent and a worthy leader of the Order of the Phoenix. B U T let’s be honest, if push came to shove, Sirius would have thrown all that to the wayside to protect Harry. 

Case in point. Sirius coming to Kings Cross. And then, of course, the Ministry of Magic as well. 

SIRIUS BLACK CARED ABOUT HARRY POTTER MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE AND THAT WASN’T PART OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE’S PLAN BECAUSE SIRIUS BLACK DID NOT CARE ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD IF IT MEANT HARRY GOT HURT. 

(No one come in here and tell me he couldn’t differentiate between James and Harry, I do not want to hear it.)

Also! We have to talk about how long Sirius was in Azkaban without going crazy. Dementors feed off your memories, right? Make you relieve all the bad and everything horrible that’s ever happened to you? Sirius has plenty of that. 

but 

He doesn’t lose his mind in Azkaban. He tells Harry it’s because he sees Pettigrew in the Daily Prophet and it becomes an obsession the dementors can’t use, which is just--God, that is so sad. Like Sirius’ hate was so all-consuming that some magical soul-sucking things couldn’t even touch it. 

Someone hug Sirius Black. Someone let him sit in a house that wasn’t his mother’s. Or wasn’t that cave he was living in. 

I just love Sirius Black. I think he tried to be better than his circumstances, got royally screwed over, lost a lot and then had to live with that until he died. 

[welllpthisishappening]

omg you’ve watched being human? i watched it on netflix a couple of months ago, saw michael and thought: ‘laura would love this just because he’s in it’ and had been planning on recommending it to you but never got round to it😂

I have watched Being Human! Listen, if there’s a show with a self-loathing dude with dark, curly hair, it’s like a LAURA-TYPE BAT SIGNAL gets sent into the air and I am morally obligated to watch said show and love the previously discussed self-loathing dude with dark, curly hair. 

Seriously, though, have you seen Aidan Turner???? 

L I K E

Also, strictly speaking, it’s a really cool show concept as far as show concepts go and my willingness to watch literally any vaguely ridiculous supernatural-type show the BBC made from, like, 2005 to 2012 is very high. 

Although. If I am being super honest, I liked the second trio better. Because, you know, Michael Socha. And I didn’t hate the American version. 

[welllpthisishappening]

just to let you know, im very very very excited to read one foot in (again) and can not wait!!

Thank you!! I am very, very, very excited that you are very, very, very excited. (And that you’d want to read something you’d already read. That is just stellar.) I’m also pretty psyched that I finally came up with a title, so it’s not just The Pushing Daises AU That Only Some People Asked For. 

So, this is not coming Wednesday (which is when chapter one will post) but I’m a sucker for posting snippets and here’s another snippet:

Ruby makes a noise in the back of her throat – almost a growl and it sounds a little predatory, but Emma can’t back up any farther. She’s already a little worried she inadvertently concussed herself before. “Ok, tell me something, and I expect God's honest truth because we are somewhere God is watching.” “This is not a church.” “Shut up, the truth, Em, you got it?” Emma nods slowly, nerves churning in the pit of her stomach and she can dimly make out the funeral director hovering at the other end of the hall. They’ve probably disrupted his entire schedule. “Was Killian Jones as dreamy as an adult as you thought he was when you were nine?” In the grand scheme of questions Ruby could have demanded answers to, that is probably the last thing Emma expects. It shouldn’t be, because this is Ruby and the day appears to be going a very specific kind of way, but the question still catches her off guard and, if asked, she will blame both of those things for the next few words that fall out of her mouth. 

“Yeah, he was,” Emma mumbles, and Ruby makes a noise that’s somewhere between generic triumph and a pretty spot on impression of some kind of barnyard animal that wakes up with the sun. “Oh my--Ruby, Ruby, shut up, shut up.”

[welllpthisishappening]

5, 9 and 19!

Look at delightful he is! Much like you! And the choices for questions. Alright, here we go:

5. What’s a crackship you love? Oh, you know what’s a good one??? (and paging @distant-rose) CAPTAIN NEMO AND CAPTAIN SHAKESPEARE. Ro has far more thoughts on this than I do, but it’s a fun and vaguely ridiculous pairing that also kind of fits if you think about it. So, naturally in that Pushing Daisies AU I wrote, Nemo and Shakespeare are basically Aunts Lily and Vivian and they raise Killian and think he’s dead and all that jazz. 

9. Fake dating or arranged marriage?

FAKE DATING, HANDS DOWN. I love fake dating. I have not written it nearly enough, but it’s got all the tropes I want. Inevitably unrequited feelings, kisses that prove those unrequited feelings, spending time together. It’s gold. I love it. 

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon? This is everyone’s favorite question, it seems. I got this a couple of times and, like I said, I’m woefully bad in canon, so we’ll pick another AU. Let’s go All Was Golden in the Sky. Killian one-hundred thousand percent dreamt of Emma while he was in New York. He always slept like garbage (for several different reasons) but sometimes when he managed to actually get some rest, it always came with dreams of the water and the waves and this light just in the corner of his vision. It was calm for a moment. Good, even. And he’d wake up with this kind of longing in the middle of his chest, but at the same time that good lingered for a few moments. Like it wasn’t quite willing to let him go yet either. The night before he meets Emma in the hallway, he dreams again and he swears he can feel someone holding his left hand, lacing their fingers through his and squeezing tightly, as if they’re trying to make sure he knows everything will be alright eventually. 

Half of journalism is waiting for people to call you back, so distract me please

[welllpthisishappening]

serious question: have you watched Mic’d Up Mason: 5 years old? because i remember you wrote a fic based on the original, and now a year later, there’s a new version that is just as adorable

I have seen it! And it is painfullllllly adorable. Honestly, The Fine Art of Going Viral is one of my favorite Blue Line one shots because I have got a lot of feelings about Matt and Chris being so far apart in age, but also super close and Matt being really protective of Chris when he’s just...not great at hockey.

In my head, whereas Matt totally embraces Killian’s legacy, so to speak, it always weighs a little heavy on Chris. Especially because he wasn’t there for any of it. Like, Matt (and Peggy to a slightly lesser degree) grew up in an NHL locker room. Spent hours on the ice and watching film and Killian using film to get Peggy to fall asleep is a thing that goes on for years. 

But for Chris, that’s all kind of a foreign concept to him. He loves hockey - how can he not, really? - but he knows from the get he’s not as good as Killian and not as good as Matt and that’s really tough for a kid who’s kind of right at the end of the next-gen age-wise. Again, in my head, Chris is definitely the snarkiest of all the Jones Line. Very dry humor, prone to not-so-thinly veiled sarcasm and totally ragging on his brother. 

Because part of him also knows that his brother will laugh it off and give back almost as good as he gets. Matt is pretty good at trash talk, after all. 

[welllpthisishappening]

could we please get more Peggy Jones content, like maybe your headcanons about her? for example, what’s Peggy’s romantic life?

Ah, yes, absolutely of course! Seriously I am down to discuss legitimately anything related to Blue Line while the world is a mess. Or, any time, really. But especially now. Alright, let’s talk about Margaret Elsa Jones, shall we?

Very close to Anna and Ariel when she’s a kid, especially after Anna moves back to New York. 

By far, the best athlete of anyone in the next-gen. 

A fact anyone in the next-gen will readily admit. 

Also spends a lot of time with Henry when she’s a kid, who is like the “cool babysitter” for the Jones Line. She’s there when he meets Ella for the first time. 

No one fights over which side of the aisle she stands on during Roland and Lizzie’s wedding because everyone knows she’s on Lizzie’s side. 

She hates the dress Lizzie makes her wear. 

Doesn’t bring a date to the wedding. 

There’s not a ton of time for dating while she’s in college because she’s constantly training. 

Also in total cliche fashion, the extended family full of professional athletes can be a little intimidating.

ENTER JEREMY HUMBERT

Who is born just before Peggy is and also grows up in the hockey world

Never plays, but becomes a scout for the Canucks and works for the org when he and Peggy first really start talking. 

They start talking after she’s going to run at some international event while she’s still in college and needs advice on where to get coffee while she’s in Vancouver. 

He gives her a list of fourteen places. One version is alphabetized, one is based on distance, the last is based on his personal preference. 

They get coffee before she leaves. 

It becomes a thing. 

And they really are just friends for awhile. 

They talk. They text. They send photos of impressive latte designs. 

Everyone in the group chat is pretty convinced they’re dating. Matt knows they meet up in the city over Christmas one time. 

BUT THEN!

Stuff happens. And things happen. And they grow and get older and keep talking and it just kind of...turns into a relationship. 

And no one really makes a big deal of it because Jeremy isn’t quite as famous a Rol or Matt, but then! Part two. 

They elope. 

Matt and Chris are more disappointed than anyone else. They both like Jeremy and they’re glad their sister is happy and she’s definitely happy, but they also wanted to do all the BROTHER STUFF and they feel like they’ve gotten robbed of their chance to be intimidating.

And Peggy and Jeremy tell everyone else eventually - including Emma and Killian, which leads to some very interesting discoveries on the next-gen part. There’s a reception. Peggy dances with Killian at least ten times.

[welllpthisishappening]

how do you do it laura? im emotionally invested in bellarke and i’ve never even seen the 100! i read hitting the mark today and it was a beautiful as everything you write

Listen. L i s t e n. This is seriously the nicest??? My existence on the internet is to make people care about the same things that I care about, so it always makes my whole heart swell when that actually happens. Thank you!!

Jumping into a new fandom has been a little terrifying and a little exciting, but these fools just desperately need to kiss each other as often as possible, so like...who am I not to write just that? And Hitting the Mark was so much fun to write, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

(Now, if this other story can make as much sense when I start slamming on keys as I am absolutely positive it does in my head, that’d be great.)

[welllpthisishappening]

30, 36, 38 and 41 for the writing ask :)

You are a delight. Alright, here we go:

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetOh god, too many, really. I have this modern!witch story that I wrote, literally, 200 pages of last year before I was like this is awful and painfully convoluted and I stopped. Parts of that story crept into All Was Golden in the Sky, but then that took on a different life of its own as well and it’s not all that similar anymore. 

The basic gist is that Mina Novak comes home to Brooklyn after her grandmother (who raised her) dies and discovers that magic is real. And she is the spark upon which all magic will return to the real world. She meets Jack O’Connell --- whose father was a wizard and mother was a fairy, but there’s something kind of off about him and no one really knows why The Shadow (who is our villain here) is so hell bent on getting to Jack. There’s a bunch of other parts -- Jack’s best friend is basically a Sandman, like can control dreams and help people sleep, and their other friend Kamala is like a magical “finder” and “protector” whose main job is to keep Mina safe from anyone who tries to use her. There’s a secret realm. A bunch of other mythical creatures that gain power from Mina and not all of them are good guys. 

Someday I’ll go back to it. 

(Also, fic-wise, it’s definitely either the soulmate Bellarke AU I may start next week or the time agents Bellarke AU.)

36. Last sentence you wrote

I’m not actively writing anything right now, but the chapter I just edited had this:

“God that was so annoying,” Violet muttered. “Sorry, sorry, listen I know we’re trying to be all intimidating and bring the battle to us or whatever, but I was getting really tired of waiting for the monologue to start so I just figured—”

“—You’d bury her?” Scarlett asked. 

“I mean she’s not buried. She’s still got use of most of her limbs. Fifty percent.”

“Because she has two arms!”

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

Hmmmm maybe Nights Were Mainly Made for Saying? The time loop is kind of weird, I guess. I don’t know that I’ve got a lot of “weird” stories, honestly. 

41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE. WRITE WHAT YOU WANT TO WRITE. ENJOY WHAT YOU ARE WRITING. It’s very kitschy, but it’s true. I genuinely enjoy the stuff that I write - to the point that I reread my stuff pretty regularly and sometimes don’t even post what I write because it’s really just for me. If you are enjoying what you’re writing, anything else is icing. That being said, it will absolutely positively suck to see something you loved writing not get the same love you think it deserves. And that will happen. People are people, so not everyone has the same interests or vibes with a story, but that does not mean you should stop writing. Keep slamming on keys and fuck everyone else.  

Help me procrastinate editing with writing questions

[welllpthisishappening]

for the author ask thing: number 1 and number 2!

You are wonderful. I answered 1 here, but 2 is also a real fun question, so here we go:

2. When you’re writing a new story, what is the one thing you need to know before you can start?

Motivations. Because of who I am as a person, most everything I write has some kind of found family that makes up our core characters and I want to know who they are and what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. 

That also usually includes who they are to one another. So, like time travel story? I knew from the get our heroine’s going to be named Scarlett and she’s got a couple of main characteristics: stubborn, determined, in control of her emotions, empathetic, powerful, a little snarky. Then on the flip side, Alex is: emotional, reactionary, also pretty determined, powerful in a different way. So, when they find out that they’re at the center of saving the world? Those characteristics decide what they do. 

Scarlett doesn’t take it in stride, so much as she tries to understand it, figure out what she has to do and does her best to help. Alex’s main motivation is making sure Scarlett is ok above all else, but he’s also got all those pesky emotions to deal with too. 

Then once I decide on that, I build around them. Scarlett’s got a roommate, the roommate’s got a boyfriend, what are they to Scarlett? What’s their reaction to the plot? Alex has got a family. Where’s his sister? How much would his parents affect what he does now? 

Like I said, I hope most of my stories are very character driven. They’ve all got pretty fleshed out personalities and little quirks that explain how they react to the stuff going on around them. Case in point? Scarlett puts BBQ sauce on her fries. Alex knows that. And that’s part of the reason she decides to trust him from the get. 

Honestly, while I color code plot and have a general idea of what’s going to happen, usually I add to plot as I go. And that’s usually because character motivations and those reactions are what dictate what happens going forward. 

Not writing, but talking about writing. Let’s hang out, huh?

[welllpthisishappening]

have you watched the city of lover concert??

I have! It was background music while I was writing a whole bunch of Out of the Park words yesterday because at some point I also realized that the entire Lover album is a pretty solid soundtrack to Out of the Park and Nick and Olivia, just like--as a couple. 

And I will probably have it on again while I write some more baseball type words, but now with Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin. Who are also pining idiots in this story. 

Is it obvious how much I miss baseball? And also how much I can listen to the entire Lover album on repeat? 

[welllpthisishappening]

Aye, But We're Loved by Our Mommies and Dads

Hello, hi, hey there internet. So, this is weird timing with the ask I got earlier today, but I’ve been hoarding a different ask from @ glowofthevendingmachine that said: “every time will scarlet calls emma swan ‘em’ in all was golden in the sky my heart grows about 49 sizes.” And, like, same. My love for Will Scarlet knows no bounds, no matter what ‘verse I am writing in and it’s been nearly a year since I’ve written any All Was Golden in the Sky so here’s some.

In which we have: snarky!Will, magical!Emma, pirate-mode-activated!Killian. Banter! Friendship! Allusions to cute kids! Who steal things. Or. Will Scarlet teaches Emma and Killian’s kid to be a thief.

-----

“Make him stop looking at me like that.”

Emma can’t help her laugh, even through tight lips, a smile that tugs at the corner of her mouth and betrays her feelings about everything that has happened in the last sixteen minutes. Because everything that has happened in the last sixteen minutes is somewhere in the realm of absurd and not entirely surprising. 

Will’s eyes keep darting around the room, arms crossed over his chest until Emma is a little concerned that he’s actually going to crack one of his ribs and—

Killian hasn’t moved. 

Or blinked. 

His fingers keep fluttering over the hilt of his sword. 

“Ok, now that’s just unnecessary,” Will grumbles, slumping further in the chair. 

Emma laughs again. 

She needs to come up with a better word than absurd. 

“Seriously, Em,” Will continues, “can you not do something about this? I thought you were the Savior. Save me.”

“What would you like me to do exactly, Scarlet?”

“Look at the face thing he is doing! Right now! He’s trying to intimidate me.”

“I’m pretty positive it’s working. Are you starting to sweat a little?”

“This is not funny.”

“Isn’t it, though?”

“No,” both Will and Killian respond, and Emma has to actually put her hand over her mouth. Her chest aches while she tries to contain her laugh, lungs burning with almost too much oxygen, which is a nice change of pace from previous experience and—

“We did get your boot back, babe,” she reasons. 

Killian doesn’t look away from Will. Who pales noticeably. “That’s not the point, Swan.”

“Isn’t it, though?” Will echoes, and all the oxygen files out of Emma. In a rather large and dramatic sigh. 

“You really are not helping your own cause at all,” she mutters. “And strictly speaking, the point of this might actually be at the end of Killian’s sword.”

“You’re making jokes.”

“Because you are both being idiots.”

Will huffs, Killian finally turning his attention to Emma — so he can immediately gape at her, as if suggesting this isn’t the most serious thing they’ve ever dealt with is the peak of betrayal. The muscles in her face are going to freeze. 

She bites down on her finger. 

“He’s the one who did it, anything that happens is Scarlet’s fault,” Killian says, waving the hand still not gripping his sword in the air. Of course, that leaves him brandishing his hook at Will instead, which also leaves Will even paler and—

Emma pulls Killian’s arm down, fingers curling around cool metal until some of the fight almost visibly falls out of him. 

Will exhales. 

“Still not helping,” she sneers. 

“Ok, ok, ok,” Will says quickly, scrambling back up with both of his hands held in mock surrender. “Let’s not send me to the brig or anything.”

Emma’s head falls to Killian’s chest, nearly tripping over her feet when he tugs her closer to his side, like the closeness will help him remember that they shouldn’t actually send Will to the brig. 

For teaching their son how to steal things. Multiple things. Everything from earrings that had been on her dresser to a small stack of papers from DunBroch on Killian’s desk to, this morning, his left boot. 

That’s the problem. 

Or so Killian claims. Emma doesn’t really…get it. 

They got everything back. 

And yet. Here they are. With the fluttering fingers and an exceptionally sweaty Will Scarlet and—

“You’d have to be on a ship for that,” Killian says, soft enough to be entirely threatening. Emma jerks her head up. He’s totally doing the face thing again. 

Will swallows. “Yuh huh.”

“It’s a dungeon when you’re in a castle. That’s basic knowledge. Read a book.”

“Ah, well—not all of us grew up staging a covert relationship with a magical princess, so…”

“Do you not have any sense of self preservation?”

“I didn’t think I needed it with you, honestly.”

Killian deflates slightly, even as the arm around Emma’s waist tightens a fraction of an inch. She presses her lips together again, gaze darting between Will’s still lifted hands and Killian’s clenched jaw, doing her best to make sure the magic she can feel curling at the base of her spine doesn’t manifest itself into protection. 

She’s only seventy-two percent positive Killian will actually draw his sword. 

She admittedly needs to get better at math. 

“Hey, uh, Em,” Will mumbles, “your…well—your hair is doing that thing again.”

Emma hums in confusion, which is not only dumb, it’s pointless because she knows exactly what he means and why it’s happening and it hasn’t happened in years. She’s usually in much better control. 

“Oh shit,” Emma growls. She pulls herself out of Killian’s grasp, shaking her hair onto her back like that will fix everything and not send lines of light across the entire room or—“What is that?”

Will twists, glancing in the direction of Emma’s pointed finger, and Killian absolutely kisses the top of her hair before he moves. The light jumps. 

And lands directly on the small pile of loot in the corner of the room. 

Emma doesn’t even try to mask her gasp. 

“Is that—“ she starts, but Killian is already nodding and it was a dumb question anyway. It’s not just toffee. At first glance, it appears to be every single sweet made in the entire kingdom, chocolate bars and bags of something that smells almost like lemon and the last thing Emma expects is for Killian to throw his whole head back. 

And laugh. 

Rather uproariously. 

Will’s eyes have gone very wide. 

“Is he—is he still going to stab me, do you think?” Emma only needs four steps to walk forward, lift her right foot and kick Will soundly in his left ankle. “Shit,” he hisses, “you are a violent bunch, aren’t you? A match made in heaven or the Underworld or whatever.”

“Killian, give me your sword.”

“Aw, c’mon, that’s—“

“I thought we weren’t making jokes?” Emma snaps, and it’s been years, so her threat is only a little empty, but Killian is still laughing and she genuinely did not understand why he was upset in the first place. 

So. Maybe she’s the absurd one. 

Will shrugs, a lopsided smile and tilt of his head, leaning forward to flick his finger against Killian’s side. “Hey, you know you sound like a crazy person, right now, right Captain? I wasn’t trying to offend or anything. Or, uh—you know, step on your piratical toes.”

The laugh stops. Rather abruptly. 

And Killian doesn’t spin, so much as he moves in slow motion — Emma’s teeth digging into either one of her lips and her breath catching noticeably in her throat and—

“That probably would have hurt when I only had one boot,” Killian drawls. 

“You got it back.”

“Right.”

“Do you not have more than one pair of boots? How is that possible? Are you not a royal pirate?”

He tosses a bag of candy at Will. 

Who catches it. 

“Oh my God,” Emma exclaims. “What the fuck is going on right now? Seriously!”

Killian grimaces, the toe of his recently-reacquired boot twisting under him when he suddenly appears particularly interested in the floor. Will’s grin stretches. 

It takes her twenty-four seconds to understand. 

Give or take. 

“Is that,” Emma groans, the tips of Killian’s ears going noticeably pink, “are you kidding me?”

“You’ll have to be more specific, love.”

“Did you want to teach our kid how to steal things? Is that honestly what you were mad about?”

“Well, when you say it like that…”

Her jaw drops quickly enough that something cracks as well, more dramatically exhaled oxygen and wide eyes that are starting to water. From surprise. And emotion. Possibly a little magic. 

She can’t believe their kid stole toffee. 

The more things change, or whatever. 

“It wasn’t so much that I didn’t get to teach him how to pick-pocket,” Killian reasons. “Just that—”

Will shakes his head. “This was not pick-pocketing. We’re not using that term. That requires some finesse and let me tell you, your kid does not have that yet. This was just generic looting.’

“Nah, looting is bigger. Also, that’s another thing that’s really better suited for ships.”

“Should you be writing down the rules, do you think?”

Emma stomps her foot — and neither one of the men in front of her jump to attention, technically, but it’s pretty damned close. She’ll make sure to remind them of that eventually. “Ok,” she says, “so if it wasn’t being upset about the petty theft, then…what was it?”

Killian’s fingers find the back of his neck, tugging lightly on the hair there. It’s almost enough to distract Emma from the general color palate of his ears. 

“Babe…”

He squeezes one eye shut before he answers. Will does a piss-poor job of not laughing. 

Although slightly better than Emma does of not being impossibly endeared by the whole goddamn thing. 

“He shouldn’t be stealing things,” Killian explains. “Not really. I mean—he lives in a castle and he’s got everything he could want, right?”

“Are you double checking with me?”

“Of course not. I mean—no. That’s—“

“Absurd?” Emma suggests. 

“A little. But—God, fuck you, Scarlet. This is seriously your fault. Because first I was disappointed that he was doing it and then I was even more upset that he could do it and…” 

It’s Will’s turn to flush, an inhaled hissed in between his teeth because he understands as well as Emma. Captain Killian Jones, royal consort, former Dark One, True Love, part of the goddamn prophecy that saved them all does not want his kid to be anything except good. 

As if he could. 

With Killian Jones as his father. 

“Oh, well, now I feel like a dick,” Will mumbles. “I wasn’t trying to fuel the circle of self-loathing.”

“And are we equating pretty talented at petty theft to being bad?” Emma adds. 

“Phrase that better, Em.”

She shakes her head brusquely, a step back into Killian’s space and fingers curling around his jacket lapels. So she can tug lightly. “At least we know he’s good at something, huh?”

“Jeez.”

“Swan,” Killian chides, but she just tilts her head up and pushes up on her toes and the scruff on his jaw scratches at her mouth when she presses a kiss there. She can feel him exhale. “It’s not exactly the talent I was hoping to pass down.”

“Well, I’m much better at it than you. so—“

“—Uh, excuse me,” Will cuts in, “but who got the kid to pick things straight out of your room?”

“Are we patting ourselves on the back for that?”

“At least not stabbing each other.”

“I was never going to stab you,” Killian says. “I just—if anyone’s going to teach the kid how to pirate, then it should be me. Right?”

“Sounds like you’re double checking again.”

“And I think you’re a much better pirate than Scarlett,” Emma adds, not bothering to move away from Killian’s cheek. It’s easier to feel his answering smile that way. 

“High praise,” he mumbles. 

“It is our kid.”

“Which is probably why he wanted to steal the candy,” Will points out, standing up in a huff of limbs and vaguely sarcastic expression. “Alright. No more thief 101 with the mini royal. He can learn at the feet of his one-booted father.”

“We got the boot back,” Emma says. 

Will hums, nose scrunched and brows pinched and Emma flicks her fingers before she can even think of all the reason’s it’s exceptionally petty to do just that. He stumbles back under the force of her magic, Killian’s laugh echoing off the walls again and maybe directly around Emma’s heart and she’s not all that surprised when he kisses her hair again. 

“Gross,” Will gags. “Do I need to sign a blood oath, or is my word that the kid and I will find some other bonding activity good enough?”

“Get out, Scarlet.”

He salutes. “Your Highness. Captain.”

And Emma barely waits until the door is closed behind him before she glances up at Killian, laughter and absurd practically hanging in the air because—

“You actually want to get the kid to steal something of Scarlet’s or you just want to do it ourselves?” she asks. 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Eh, we’ll let him grow into piracy, shall we? Plus, we’re more well practiced.”

“You just want immediate revenge.” He nods, lower lip stuck out just enough that Emma can properly nip at it when she kisses him. “Pirate.”

“Indefinitely. C’mon, let’s go steal something.”

[kmomof4]

❤️❤️❤️

serious question: have you watched Mic’d Up Mason: 5 years old? because i remember you wrote a fic based on the original, and now a year later, there’s a new version that is just as adorable

I have seen it! And it is painfullllllly adorable. Honestly, The Fine Art of Going Viral is one of my favorite Blue Line one shots because I have got a lot of feelings about Matt and Chris being so far apart in age, but also super close and Matt being really protective of Chris when he’s just…not great at hockey.

In my head, whereas Matt totally embraces Killian’s legacy, so to speak, it always weighs a little heavy on Chris. Especially because he wasn’t there for any of it. Like, Matt (and Peggy to a slightly lesser degree) grew up in an NHL locker room. Spent hours on the ice and watching film and Killian using film to get Peggy to fall asleep is a thing that goes on for years. 

But for Chris, that’s all kind of a foreign concept to him. He loves hockey - how can he not, really? - but he knows from the get he’s not as good as Killian and not as good as Matt and that’s really tough for a kid who’s kind of right at the end of the next-gen age-wise. Again, in my head, Chris is definitely the snarkiest of all the Jones Line. Very dry humor, prone to not-so-thinly veiled sarcasm and totally ragging on his brother. 

Because part of him also knows that his brother will laugh it off and give back almost as good as he gets. Matt is pretty good at trash talk, after all.