#gloomie daye

[fuckepilepsy]

I'm not doing EpileptiCon this year. Or probably ever. You might have figured that out, considering that in the past, I've posted announcements a week or so in advance, but have been silent this year. I probably should have said something sooner.

I know that as the progenitor of the concept, I kinda have a responsibity to be the spearhead of the event, but frankly, it's not worth it anymore. Interest and participation have dwindled every year since it began. When we had the first EpileptiCon in 2017, it was very successful, to the point of being a little overwhelming, so I expected it to grow every year.

But instead, the opposite has occurred.

Granted that 2020 and all of its attendant woes came along and took the piss out everyone, and 2021 wasn't much better. I also acknowledge that I let @the-twitchy-life MC EpileptiCon the last two years by herself. But right now I'm very rested and have ample time to do it, but I just don't have the heart for it anymore.

Here's a secret: last year, only two people entered for the EpileptiCon giveaway. Two. At the end I just bought duplicates of everything and sent them both the prize. If I recall correctly, there were forty-two entrants in 2017.

Furthermore, EpileptiCon prompts have improved every year between contributions from Twitchy and myself (with exception to the aberration that was 2020), but the response has been less robust each year. I don't know why. We've refined our approach, stepped up our game, tried it for a week, tried it for the whole damn month. Has the novelty worn off? Has the culture of the community changed? Is it me? I don't know.

It just seems like there's this core group of people who really care, but fewer and fewer people are really into it as time goes by. I deeply appreciate that core group, and I'm grateful to them for their continued enthusiasm, but it feels silly to go through all that effort--and in the case of the giveaway, all that money--just to see diminishing results.

Anyway. I don't mean to sound bitter or resentful. I'm really not. I'm very grateful to all of the people who have joined the party over the last five years. It's just that for whatever the reason, all of the excitement and anticipation I used to feel about EpileptiCon has become anxiety and dread. So it's time to stop.

I suppose that some element of my apprehension is a growing feeling of alienation from the community on my part. I started my first epilepsy blog in March of 2013. It was the first time that I had explored my identity as an epileptic, and as a disabled person, and the first time that I expressed things that had weighed on me for a long time. It was cathartic and energizing.

But that was a long time ago, and mine is the only remaining blog dating back to then. I've learned, over time, that the epilepsy community on Tumblr is largely ephemeral. For the most part, people drift in and out of it in a matter of days. Sometimes we'll get a new epilepsy blog that announces its presence, only to never make another post again.

And that's fine! Everyone gets to choose how much they want to interact with others, and choose the terms of their involvement with the community. It's just that it leaves me feeling old and out of place. Like I should have called it quits for good years ago.

I miss my old friends and fellow bloggers. I miss a lot of the people I never hear from anymore. I remember their names and the things that I admired about them. I miss ye olden dayes when I could unleash some absurdity or explosive outburst and have a bunch of pals play along. I miss the camaraderie.

The epilepsy community on Tumblr has always been gloomy, but it's just so quiet these days. We used to be an ornery bunch, and I drew a lot of energy from that.

Each passing year brings me farther from what I cherished about the epilepsy community on Tumblr, and I just don't have the heart to run an imaginary Internet festival for epileptics on anymore.

I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone. I feel terribly guilty. However, @haikyuupaladin has announced that they will be posting discussion prompts and keeping the conversation going, and I will be supporting that effort. I hope you will join me.

[vegavoiddestroy]

A day in the studios

Enjoy lol

[vinciaka]

KALEIDOSCOPE: a project by DAYE

my dear friend serge aka daye just sent a full project for me to listen through before the release of it. It moved me so much that i couldn’t sleep without trying my very best to explain how listening to this made me feel, cause it made me feel very much, all 7 tracks. i want to (try to) explain to you how each song made me feel.

a little quick thing to know before you read this: i tend to reach a lot, and in this little post here, i will try to explain how i saw these songs and the conceptual interpretations i made. they’re probably wrong and might not have been the artist’s true intentions when making the songs,  but songs are more fun if you listen to them in your own way. oh !warning! my “review” or whatever might be very biased lol okay

where were we? oh right, the feels. I feel like it made perfect sense to name this project KALEIDOSCOPE, because just like the real thing, daye reflects both his personal life and producing essence in his music and it creates this beautiful art that transforms into another masterpiece depending on how you decide to look at(/listen to) it. he has used things like audio clips from moments in his life, sounds of a cassette player being opened/closed, voices of friends with his (oh so) suitable voice to enhance theirs, and his own voice as main focus (spoiler: my fav song is where he raps the outro... stay tuned xo). It all results in a beautiful memoir, that i felt was focusing on the things surrounding him, perceived by serge and translated by daye into these songs.

the first song ROLLIN sucked me in with the very calming cheerful melody. the song features rapper mike jones that tells a story about a cute blossoming affection between two people who both seem too shy to come forward about it. the story is accompanied with beautiful inputs of shorter melodies created with something that sounds like a very pianoy electric guitar (comes in around 1:46). this song really shows dayes talent when it comes to creating melodies and layering the same melody with different sounds. we hear everything from violin sounds, to synths, backed by fabulous kicks and claps and hi-hats and tambourines and... you get it. he pays a lot of attention to details and it shows through the very subtle sounds of “plings” and his own “so now we” voice input. the beat is concluded with a beautiful piano outro played by one of his friends and puts a more “ripened love”(lol) denouement to the cutesy lovey dovey mood introduced in the beginning of the song. it ends with an audio clip talking about rolling....the green (or brown) stuff. This song feels: buoyant, calm, blissful, bubbly, cute.

the second track BADBOY (also my second favorite song) is just pure, fantastic, simple yet detailed quality production. this song feels like taking an evening walk in the inner city when everything is about to close during warmer weather & meeting up with fun adventurous friends. the drum loop is just so beautifully chosen and is the highlight of the song to me. the second name of this song should be SYNTHBOY (sry). the thing is, i usually don’t like synthy sounds, but daye chooses his sounds so perfectly and breaks it off with complementary non-expected sounds, and the result is... my second favorite track. the outro is a fun audio clip where his friends are joking around. The song really gives me both summer night and summer day and summer day vibes. This song feels: sunny, refreshing, cresent-moony, breezy

next song SWAGOO is my personal favorite. wow.. just wow. i would divide the song into 3 parts and i mean… 3 parts? ugh daye’s mind! the first part is a sample of a song with vocals that go “your love, your love, your love” and it’s a great introduction to the theme of the song. Next part we’re introduced to a very soothing R&B electric piano feel that was quickly accompanied by a  very minimalistic, clean kick, snare and hi-hat. once again, rapper mike jones is featured and this time tells a story that seems to continue on where he left off in ROLLIN. but this time he’s ready to settle down. the whole minimalistic instrumental through the second part gave off the good feelings of liking someone and being really sure about the whole thing. but i realized that it all was a false feeling of comfort when the second part was cut off into an audio clip. the audio clip is from a video featured by yours truly (lol) & other friends and is from a house party both me and daye were at at some time in april 2019. in the audio clip you can hear us singing to self control by frank ocean, and the part daye chose to add just makes so much sense and is so fitting into the story. it was the part where frank says “i came to visit, cause you see me like a ufo”. after mike jones spoke about being ready to settle down into the relationship, it seems like it all fell off, just like what that part in frank’s song hints at. two people falling off. right after the audio clip, i was hit by what gave me kind of a revelation, kind of an unreligious epiphany… the third and final part of the song. the last part lasts for 30 seconds and that’s what i dislike the most about this project, because to me that last part is the highlight of this tape. daye uses his own voice (!!) in a gloomy way with a sullen beautiful instrumental that i was amazed by. that part of the song is what fits my personal music taste the most. its crazy. the goal of trying to write all of this down instead of reviewing it directly to serge was to give me a chance to fully express how i felt about this project, but still this part gives me a hard time to explain how wonderfully divine it was. his vocals concludes the love story that mike told. the love interest was just “bad news” and the whole thing left daye in a slump. this whole song is just a wonderful story about love that fades when the mutual feelings stop being mutual and daye portrayed it beautifully through merging 3 different parts and leveling it out to create one harmonious song. excellent. i wish i could replay those last 30 seconds over and over again. in the very end, you hear the sound of a cassette player opening, welcoming the next song. This song feels: jolly -> hopeful->surprising->gloomy, amazing, rainy

track 4 and 5 i will review together as one part. first we hear SMILLAS INTERLUDE and then we hear TIMELESS, both have beautiful melodies and lyrics sung by serges friend smilla. the interlude is just different cuts of her voice singing some words, but mostly overwhelmingly beautiful runs. wow what a voice. in between the cuts of her voice daye carries on the theme with cassette player opening/closing sounds. the interlude almost sounds like the process of writing a letter with drafts and parts that both are kept and thrown away but that in the end results in a fully written letter, and that’s what TIMELESS is. if deciding to look at this project as one big storyline where all songs are small pieces of a bigger story, the lyrics in TIMELESS seem like an explanation to why the love was “bad news”. the whole intention of the relation seemed to be confusing and not straight to the point, a “timeless haze” as told by smilla. the best point of this song, the music production by daye, made it feel like everything still was alright. the beat felt like a hug, saying that the confusion is okay. it felt like a rainy summer day. bright outside with gray skies and a rainbow. the song is fully nuanced because all of the elements in it. everything has more than one layer. the drums, the synths, the vocals. during the chorus, a simple bassline is added to the instrumental and it gives the song a whole new layer of depth. the mixing of this song is the best in my opinion. This song feels: reassuring, confidently confusing, self focusing, profound, like a kiss on the forehead.

the second last song of this tape, COMING HOME shares the spot together with BADBOY as my second favorite track. the production is just so spectacular and high quality! i love it. the drum loop hits hard throughout the whole song and once again, daye’s ears made my ears a big favor by choosing it. his talent with finding and picking out the best sounds & layering was really noticable in this song and it all feels like a whole majestic musical arrangement more than just a beat. it feels like the last day of summer. the melody created by the bass, synths and other sound effects makes the song feel like a sad farewell, but affirming of that better days will come. To further push the feeling of that this is a goodbye, we once again have the talented mike jones lifting the song even more with his added lyrics about “coming home”. between mike’s verses, i was blessed with a beautiful guitar solo played by daye’s talented friend edvin. i had a hard time choosing, but the point of this song is the drum loop and the bassline. listening to the project as a whole, it feels like this is the last song of the project even if isn’t. This song feels: elevating, reminiscent, bittersweet, concluding

like i said above, COMING HOME feels like the last song. but now, we have come to the official last song: INTRO2PHASE2. what im about to say, the title already hints on it. this song sticks out the most to me and it is made very obvious the first two seconds of the song with a very intense synth sound that differs from any synth throughout the whole project. the music composition differs a lot too and is no longer soft and summery but rather upbeat, more intense and less... lovey. it was impossible not to move your head along to the beat. What i like the most about this song is that it shows a whole different side of daye and portrays his versatility when it comes to production. whichever genre he decides to approach he does perfectly and leaves his fingerprints scattered all over the finished product, so it still sounds like daye.  this feels more like an intro to the next concept more than outro to this tape, and that is why the song before this was (to me) the last song of this project (or should i say phase?). mike (who is featured here too) also uses his voice in a more powerful way compared to the more relaxed/soft way that is heard in the other songs he is in. if it still isn’t obvious that this is an intro to the switch of concepts, it is made even more clear with mike’s unfinished sentence where he says he doesn’t want drama, he wants-... to be continued i guess! This song feels: intense, like fire, stinky face, hard

 im excited for what’s next to come, and curious about where the focus will shift in the next project. daye left us with a cliffhanger, and hopefully, in the future we will know what it was that mike jones wanted instead of drama.

to summarize, this project felt very conceptual even if intentional or not, the order of the songs made sense if you were to look at it as a whole story. generally, it sounds like the theme is love; from its exciting beginnings to the end of it (and maybe the rebound too?) in a very realistic way. all songs can be seen as one big coherent story, or as individual songs and which one you see depends on how you want to look at it through the KALEIDOSCOPE. This project feels like: love, summer, a story

[libidomechanica]

Untitled # 8662

I tell me when thought likewise  on which vouchsafe 

to me the gloomy  Cave of Snuff-boxes 

and free from euening tooke  on me as he rosy 

lips, the fire will  vnto some knotty problems 

of Horror rend what Virgin  th Egregious Honour, 

or by the blades of  the upper life be 

a Jew. Till those starry dare,  she may your fair demesne; 

because you  are the Lady 

of the year Not, that  should set the primal 

things I do, so to bid goods.  behind then know, but a 

mounted on his  intertex! Are ridiculous. 

To settle pe ace a Ladys love, from 

all diets boast the Wolfe lowder  friend the loth, whoever 

faire afternoon, a faint  desire, the serpent! 

Like Gods engaged by none eer then  to winters dochter! 

If I could teachers eyes shall sett,  as all. Chaunce, more storme away, 

and enterd he: “why do  ye falls undistinguish. 

So oft as Light hover, is  it that high way, my 

soul was he shriekd; and  idle boy that lyfe sustayne 

to complaining lights my  squalid cot; shunnd, hateful ground 

its gulf a fitting, and  spotless loud groan, his neck 

them to part us,  leave thee: ah Christendome: but 

such Maladies care, guies me grapes. Of  large bound, nor loneliness 

and their dresse mought wind was  the flowerets 

so firme loved among thee hence doth  attyre. How long through to 

fall; sooner will, tird of  cold relicks to 

be, they were the shiny  things that all if 

thy grace in their Scene, repairs  to seeming small: 

whats the walls so fill he  knew a beauties do 

can be Zephyrs gentle  minded by light 

a counter growing or death  shade. What is tough, an 

she has a to  borrow, and someday to 

climbst the kitchen, maybe  lookd on diest, unconquered 

placed: the rich Chinas  Ears. And lodge such odour 

and in that which  gaze where Venus take his 

presence hold my shoes. Resolved the  wrists, two name, the 

same by which did her  face hem there her loved: could 

not feele th Etherial Towrs,  when as daye 

light, presence holden fleece, but to  be press he closet.

[newmusicmonthly]

2020

Hello. I hope you and yours are well. As is tradition, below are my selections for albums and songs of the year. As I have yet to receive a reply from you, dear reader, sincerely asking to unsubscribe, you are therefore the proud recipient of the list once more! I’ve altered the format from 5 tracks each month because, as I suspect many of you did, I went into a nostalgic hole for large chunks of this year (for me this consisted of at least two months of nothing but Funkadelic, which does mean my personalised algorithm is now ace), but also when I looked back at when many of these tracks were released it was front heavy for the first half of the year – another body blow to the supposed “monthly” mailer. I even considered not writing my one-liners, but where is the fun in that? Furthermore, trying to keep the long list to 60 tracks in total (equivalent to 5 per month) proved overly frustrating, so I’ve included some extras, especially as this year felt 13 month long. Notwithstanding said excuses, enough preamble, on with the list! Let me know what you think and do send me your own selections. Lots of love xx TOP 10s TOP 10 ALBUMS Baxter Dury – The Night Chancers Mildlife – Automatic SAULT – Untitled (Black Is) Alice Boman – Dream On Kanaan – Odense Sessions Lightning Orchestra – Source And Deliver Yves Tumor – Heaven To A Tortured Mind The Strokes – The New Abnormal Woods – Strange to Explain Erland Cooper – Hether Blether TOP 10 TRACKS Malena Zavala – En la Noche Caribou – You & I Yves Tumor – Kerosene! Puscifer – Apocalyptical Mildlife – Automatic King Hannah – Meal Deal SAULT – Wildfires // Bow [yes, there are two tracks there] Kanaan – Urgent Excursions To the Tundrasphere Frazey Ford – Golden Jessie Ware – What’s Your Pleasure? NEW MUSIC ‘MONTHLY’ MAILER Spotify Link Here Holy Fuck – Near Mint What better way to kick off a retrospective look at 2020 than with ‘Holy Fuck’ Alice Boman – It’s OK, It’s Alright Really love this album and this pick is a real downer, spectral and haunting but also touching Smoke Fairies – Out Of The Woods Jessica and Katherine still delivering a decade on, the chorus guitar riff is tops Nicolas Godin – The Border Air’s Nicolas Godin doing his best detached friendly robot, mais bien sur Moses Boyd – BTB Vibrant, propulsive, energetic, gotta move! The Men – Wading In Dirty Water Avid readers will know I’m a fan of these guys and this one rides a familiar Crazy Horse choogle Tame Impala – Breathe Deeper Funky bass, piano flourishes, solid synths, all groove Kanaan – Urgent Excursions To the Tundrasphere Ok, here it is, there’s always going to be at least one – this is the 14 min space rock jam – skip/enjoy! Frazey Ford – Golden This production is right up my street, soulful vocals swoop around tight rhythm section and hammond keys, an analogue dream Caribou – You and I From the analogue to a digital master, man this beat is catchy Pulled By Magnets – Cold Regime People Die File this under terrifying experimental jazz Jonathan Wilson – Riding The Blinds JW doing that 6/8 minor ballad thang Baxter Dury – Say Nothing Another album I loved this year and could have picked any number of tracks, so here’s a quote from Baxter: “My craft and in a sense a certain style has been perfected and it’s easy… I don’t have to do it again basically. I don’t want to hear another man talking over an orchestral background.” Ha! U.S. Girls – 4 American Dollars Slick funky, soulful, classic strings, building into a brilliant outro with great lyrics Deeper – Lake Song Detached vibe ala Joy Division / The Cure done through a Pavement lens with serious downer lyrics Pretty Lightning – Voo Doo Boo Swampy dirge guitar grooves Tamikrest – Anha Achal Wad Namda Another mailer favourite, Touareg guitar wizards Tony Allen, Hugh Masekela – Never (Lagos Never Gonna Be the Same) Master drummer who sadly passed away earlier this year just after this release, and two years after master trumpeter Masekela’s own passing, this track is a buzzing tribute to Fela Myrkur – House Carpenter Danish black metaller does Scandinavian folk: bright and beautiful Sufjan Stevens, Lowell Brams – The Runaround A weird album, even by Sufjan standards, but I found these electronic ambient sounds strangely comforting R.A.P. Ferreira – ABSOLUTES Rhythm & poetry The Weeknd – Blinding Lights What can I add to the smash of 2020? Catchy af Porridge Radio – Long Indie banger, with a decidedly angry, bitter, playful lyrics Cleo Sol – Her Light If online research is to be believed Cleo is part of the collective in SAULT with producer Inflo, but this album is standalone brilliance without knowing that, this is pure vintage soul vibes Malena Zavala – En la Noche I returned to this track more than any other this year, the rhythm, the vocals, the melody, the production, even if I have to use google translate to fully understand the lyrics Tom Misch, Yussef Dayes – Lift Off Molten guitar, groovy arrangements, and plenty of business from Dayes Yves Tumor – Kerosene! An absolute belter, amazing vocals, groove and crescendo perfection Warm Digits, The Orielles – Shake The Wheels Off (feat. The Orielles) Immediate synth pop, indie dancefloor (with some solid cowbell) EOB – Brasil First solo venture for Ed, acoustic folk gives way to rumbling bass banger, would very much like to experience this in a field Other Lives – Hey Hey I Grand rocking orchestral aural assault with hints of Morricone Elephant Tree – Sails Fulfilling the heavy dirge quota, that hit at 2:33 is a proper head in the speakers moment The Strokes – Why Are Sundays So Depressing This album snuck up on me, and then I found myself listening to it non-stop, this track such an ear worm Houses of Heaven – In Soft Confusion I think the right descriptor is darkwave – insistent drum machine, reverb soaked vocals, industrial production, gloomy pop hooks Joel Sarakula – Don’t Give Up on Me Operating in a dangerous space between homage and pastiche, groove and parody, this is smooth easy yacht rock Donny Benét – Second Dinner Following hot on the heels of pastiche, this time with tongue firmly in cheek, The Don and his 80s reverence lolz Perfume Genius – Whole Life Completely arresting, the lyrics an absolute gut punch, yet still gorgeous Jake Blount – Beyond This Wall From the press release, this album “features fourteen carefully chosen tracks drawn from Blount’s extensive research of Black and Indigenous mountain music. The result is an unprecedented testament to the voices paradoxically obscured yet profoundly ingrained into the Appalachian tradition” – this contemporary instrumental is a superb banjo and fiddle tune Holy Hive – Broom Formed by the drummer from the Dap Tones and inspired by being on tour with Lee Fields, this gentle soul, complete with tremolo guitar and horns, really floats Woods – Where Do You Go When You Dream A welcome return to form, this mellotron infused number is beautifully catchy Erland Cooper – Linga Holm Dramatic piano and strings from an altogether wild and wonderful album Mystery Jets – Screwdriver Loud / quiet dynamic, bombastic riffs, seething verses, the Jets turn it up to eleven to fight with love Jehnny Beth – Flower Another track where hushed verses give way to chorus explosions, serious tension and intensity Hinds – Good Bad Times Love that thudding bass drum, big stomping pop Norah Jones – Were You Watching? Smooth but haunting, with added Celtic flavour Braids – Young Buck Bleeps and bloops, melancholic poppy vocals, and the damnedest catchiest chorus Jessie Ware – What’s Your Pleasure? Is it getting hot in here? No further questions LA Priest – What Moves Quirky strutting electro, sleek yet squelchy SAULT – Wildfires + SAULT, Michael Kiwanuka – Bow Double billing because I couldn’t make a choice (plus when I realised the rhythms flow perfectly into one another it’s like it’s one song) Run The Jewels – a few words for the firing squad (radiation) Again, difficult to choose which track on this album; this is pure fire with sax and all GUM – The Thrill Of Doing It Right Turn this feel good banger up! Such a big hit when the horns drop at the start The Vacant Lots - Fracture Catchy, icy, synths (and Desert Sands label mates by the by) A.A. Williams – Melt Enchanting slow-burning, stirring post-rock, with a wonderful, soaring crescendo Lightning Orchestra – For Those Who Are Yet To Be Born A late discovery, but immediately catapulted to the top, self-described “psychedelic booty-shake” Kamaal Williams – Save Me Almost chose ‘Pigalle’ but the tight push drumming on this won out, hard funky jazz stylings of the Herbie variety Victoria Monét – Dive Lavish and groovy, and as Monét puts it: “They say most humans are about 60% water, but I believe women must be 69% so dive in baby." Secret Machines – Talos’ Corpse Genuinely so happy to see Brandon and Josh back and still with the big sounds All Them Witches – Enemy of My Enemy Relentlessly heavy, all the chops and described by one reviewer as the love child of TOOL, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Kyuss; I love this band Fenne Lily – Birthday Beautiful and bruised Mildlife – Automatic Another new discovery, in the pocket cosmic goodness and much as it pains me to quote from NME I can’t think of a better description than ‘Mobius strip funk’ Puscifer – Apocalyptical Maynard in the video for this track is an indelible image; massive swaggering Intruder-esque drums, angular menacing guitars, Carina’s ethereal edgy vocals, Maynard’s gritted teeth whispers, and apposite apocalyptical lyrics Matt Berninger – Loved So Little Confessional moody acoustic conjuring up Western-esque vistas Goldensuns – Denandra Moore Californian sun-drenched lo-fi groove, for fans of Conan Mockasin and Night Moves Frankie and the Witch Fingers – Cavehead F*cking excellent west coast garage psych melange and the B,D,E ascend at 3:10 is nod central King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – The Hungry Wolf Of Fate Genre bending brilliance once again from down under, this cut a heavy, doomy Sabbath assault King Hannah – Meal Deal Ominous drone opens into an acoustic tale of buying a flat with a spider in the bath, Hannah’s sinister smoky sultry vocals draw you in, before some menacing low frequency dirge guitar and drums kick in at 1:30… By this point on first listen I was already hooked, but then comes a great walloping Angel Olsen ‘Sister’ style crescendo, a glorious find at the end of the year (props to Manuel) HONOURABLE MENTIONS Elephant Stone – I See You Sam Lee, Elizabeth Frazer – The Moon Shines Bright Priscilla Ermel – Martim Pescador Rheinzand – Blind Dogleg – Fox The Flaming Lips, Deap Lips – Home Thru Hell The Heliocentrics – Hanging By A Thread Midwife – 2018 Chicano Batman – Color My life Trace Mountains – Rock & Roll Peach Pit – Shampoo Bottles Buscabulla – Vámono Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever – Cars In Space Jess Williamson – Wind on Tin Thiago Nassif, Arto Lindsay – Plástico The Vacant Lots – Endless Rain Nubya Garcia – Stand With Each Other (Feat. Ms MAURICE, Cassie Kinoshi, & Richie Seivwright) Juanita Stein – L.O.T.F. Carlton Melton – Waylay Paul McCartney – Long Tailed Winter Bird

[nexhqs]

INTRODUCING SAWYER KINNEY …

NICKNAMES : Saw

GENDER : Cis woman, she/her

OCCUPATION : Vet student

DATE OF BIRTH : 12/11/97

SPECIES : Nephilim

FACE CLAIM : Alisha Boe

❝  God doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to be strong.  ❞

PERSONALITY

AESTHETIC — rose-colored glasses, freshly cut grass, blinded optimism, meticulous organization, a muddy soccer ball, boneset flowers, delicate cursive, trust, bumblebees, a cool glass of lemonade, color-coded homework, a cross necklace always worn, sunrise in spring, floral dresses, sheer lipgloss, knee high socks, camomile tea, bike rides through town, a pink calculator, butterflies, braided hairs decorated with petals.  

LIKES: animals ( bunnies in particular ), Chinese take-out, ice coffee, nature, working out, eating her weight in candy & other sweets, working out some more, social justice, her friends and her family, waking up early, vanilla ice cream, getting overly invested in the lives of others, Madonna, romantic comedies, morning jogs.

DISLIKES: gloomy types, procrastination, being too far from home, animal testing, her inability to let people dislike her, negativity, people who hide behind religion to validate their prejudice, onions, being put on a pedestal.  

BIOGRAPHY –

content warnings for death and suicide.

    Brought up in the Lord’s holy light; on Sunday mass and with a crucifix close to heart, Sawyer Kinney’s faith is unmatched. Even in tragedy and the horrors of Eden, she finds the silver-lining — the good amongst the bad, the light within the dark. Perfectly mirroring both her birth and her desertion. Not wanted by her mother. Only to be wanted by somebody else. Abandoned to be forgotten. Only to be found in the house of God. But present day is solely the rainbow left behind the storm which it followed.  

Sawyer is thirteen years old when she becomes an orphan. And only a couple days older when she returns to be the youngest of three. The car had driven off the road; pavement slippery from evening rain, and it’d flipped. Three times. It left Sawyer with a mild concussion and a lifelong condition to match, but the remainder of her family got the brunt of it. Her father had his neck broken against a faulty airbag, and her mother, who’d unbuckled moments prior to tend to her fussy son, only three and a half, had flown through the windshield. Grayson was put into a medical induced coma for the swelling of his brain, but was never brought back out.  

It takes years: to overcome the trauma—physical and emotional, though the survivor’s guilt prevails. Despite prayers. Despite counseling. Despite family. Self-punishment comes in the form of treatment circumvented; carrying no consequences for months to come, only to channel its karmic intervention into a life-threatening seizure. In the middle of the soccer field, in the middle of a game, in the middle of a never-ending assurance that she was quite alright. Familial worry suffocates her the way a tsunami would — taking from her both a choice and a voice. If only their desperation to keep her in the game would’ve overshadowed her own desperation to throw in the towel. Seventeen years old, and she finds divine justice. This time in the shape of hoarded pill bottles — epileptic medication once avoided, now downed in one sitting.  

Death came knocking once more. Only to be turned away at the door by a panicked Theodore Larsen, two fingers down his best friend’s throat and emergency services on the other end of a landline. It takes the Grim Reaper three attempts on her life before faith finds its way back into her heart. And ahead, where she previously viewed a gloom nothingness, she finds light. A road paved back into his holy light, accompanied by a newfound will to carry on — and so she does.  

But the path which she follows is her mother’s. She uses Penelope Kinney’s story as a guide; writing goals and milestones down in a journal organized to perfection, leaving little left to include wants and ambitions of her own. And what supposedly pulls a girl out of an aimless depression, thrusting her into accomplishments achieved and targets met, has only left her more vacant. Less herself now than before, Sawyer grapples with the idea of the future and everything which it holds. Who she’ll be, what she’ll do, who she’ll be with … Forgetting the fundamental question of who she is right now.  

CONNECTIONS –

LOU HOLSTAD – Her ex-boyfriend. Their romantic start was rocky, though the very same could be said about their end. It took eight months for Sawyer’s insecurities to mix with a desperate need for approval, creating a fatal concoction which one relationship is put on the back-burner for another. It could be argued she merely sped it up, as her sunny disposition and his gloomy attitude often fell short of a match made. But despite mistakes made, feelings linger and Sawyer would insist that one night’s slip-up reflects not much more than her own stupidity.  

SIENNA & STEVEN KINNEY – Her older siblings. Although not related by blood, the sense of family is all the same. What sets them apart however, is the way they all coped after the accident … Or rather didn’t. Sawyer’s the closest to her brother, only because overbearingness comes natural to her sister. And after Grayson’s passing, after she’d returned to her spot as the baby of the bunch, relationships became all the more strained.

CARSON GREER – Old best friend. Thick as thieves, with matching friendship bracelets and secret handshakes, Carson and Sawyer used to be tight. Only for tragedies to steal from their friendship, piece by piece. The beginning of high school tore them apart further — the mixing of crows and gossip spilled, ripping the two to shreds and farther apart from one another. If asked, though, the gradual slipping away played little part in the end. Instead, they would refer to one faithful night in freshmen year …  

THEODORE LARSEN – Best friend numero uno. Knight in shining armor. He saved her life once, though she’d argue he’s been saving it every day. Perfectly balancing each other out; Sawyer pushes Teddy out into the world, while Teddy keeps her from soaring too close to the sun. Friends since senior year of high school, they’re aiming towards a conclusion of their tale at a senior home down in Florida.  

DYLAN DAYE – Best friend numero dos. Like night and day, Sawyer and Dylan appear to have very little in common. Though as much as they differ, they find common ground in extroversion and a need for adventure. And without Teddy in the mix, it is not unheard of for the girls to find themselves in all sorts of trouble. Sawyer would insist to be the one with common sense of the two, but an objective point of view would reveal neither possess such a trait. 

PENNED BY MADS.

[vegavoiddestroy]

Ok it's finished I changed a few things but this is Gloom's final design next up is Sunnie's

I had fun with this also Gloomie is not wearing their platforms while standing next to Yakko dot is currently wearing them lol

[vegavoiddestroy]

I did some expression drawings of Gloomie

I might do more later

[vegavoiddestroy]

Finally finished it (Hight and ages in

my au thingy)

This was fun to draw

[vegavoiddestroy]

Doing an age/Hight think

[vegavoiddestroy]

Sunnie:Hey Wakkadoodle wanna see something funny?

Wakko:*Eating a croc thats covered in chocolate*Um sure

Dot: *glancing over at the two from the kitchen knowing exactly what sunnie's gonna do*oh God not again....

Sunnie:*Inhales then Screams/sing*MY

LONELINESS IS KILLING ME!

Gloomie:*From their bedroom*ANNNND IIIII!

Yakko:*Running in to the living room*I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE

Gloomie:*trotting down the stairs*STILL BELIEVE!

Yakko:*While pointing at Gloomie*WHEN IM NOT WITH YOU I LOSE MY MIND!

Yakko and Gloomie:*Both posing dramatically*GIVE ME A SIGGGGGGN!

Yakko and Gloomie:*standing back to back grinning like idiots*HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIIIIIIME!

Dot:you two are fricking werid..

Wakko:I thought it was magical

Sunnie:*Wheezing quietly*

Gloomie:Need i remind you that I was content in my 80s bubble but you insisted on making me listen to 90s music

Yakko:they gotcha there baby sib

Wakko:SING BARBIE GIRL

Yakko and Gloomie: ok

Dot:NOOOOOOO

[vegavoiddestroy]

Dot:Why is Gloomie wheezing on the floor?

Wakko:and why is Yakko red in the face?

Sunnie:Oh they were making sandwiches gloom said something about there being no lunch meat.

Dot:That still doesn't expl-

Sunnie:So yakko said "I've got some baloney in my slacks if you want it" and then winked..

Wakko:Omfg

Sunnie:And Gloom took it as a innuendo

Gloomie literally dying from laughter:LMFAO

Yakko:wheezing quietly while hiding his face in his hands.

[vegavoiddestroy]

Designing Gloomie's bedroom

This is gonna be fun

[vegavoiddestroy]

Early Dayes

Two tired siblings who have only been awake for 15 minutes

[vegavoiddestroy]

Early mornings sketch

Gloomie and Sunnie's up half awake looks

Gloom is drinking deathwish coffee with a crap ton of caramel in it and Sunnie is drinking rolohot coco with whip cream

[vegavoiddestroy]

To go along with my Pinky and the Brain character here's my animaniacs characters Gloomie Daye and Sunnie Daye

Enjoy

Ages

Gloomie:18

Sunnie:14

Both were created in 1986 so they don't really age(Both were locked underground for 30 years for being to different/too werid)

.

Hights

Gloomie:5'1/5'4 with platforms

Sunnie:4'2

.

Full names

Gloomie:Charcoal"Gloomie"Daye

Sunnie:Crystal"Sunnie"Daye

.

Species

Both:Horned cat(think jackalope but swap the bunny for a cat)

.

Genders

Gloomie:Gender fluid/both/neither

Sunnie:MTF(Male trans Female)

.

Aesthetics

Gloomie:Goth/Dark alt

Sunnie:Prep/Retro