#glitch is so funny to me in general. totally went over my head the first read through

[charlie-artlie]

Glitch just sitting in the background like O_O while they discuss megatron is so funny to me like "Hu maybe I should read megatrons manifesto i hope it doesnt awaken anything in me"

[beca-mitchell]

The Birthday Gift (1/1)

Word count: 2,974

Summary: Beca receives a sex doll as a joke for her birthday. Rated M/E for smut towards the end. And of course reference to a sex doll.

From a prompt from anonymous: Stacie gifts Beca with a sex doll as a prank and dares her to use it. Beca jokes that the doll looks like her very hot dancer ex-gf. Chloe blows her top, dismembers the doll, and confesses her love for Bec. Smut follows of course.

Apologies for violence against sex dolls. I took some liberties! Hope that’s okay!

*posted as separate post because the ask was glitching BADLY*

Read below or on AO3.

* * * * *

She blames Stacie.

Every year, she tells Stacie (and subsequently, every other Bella) to stop sending her gag gifts because they always end up backfiring or malfunctioning in some way. She can list a whole host of horrible things that have happened with the obnoxious gifts that seem to amuse her wonderful friends more than her.

Notably, singing telegrams—or rather, an extremely excited group of singers who had been sent directly to her house and promptly tripped over themselves to try and harass her for photos. That had been Cynthia-Rose.

Or that time Fat Amy had sent her a whole host of inflatable microphones which ended up looking like a small mountain of vibrators when Beca had first opened the box, ultimately dropping them all over the ground in front of her apartment and receiving extremely judgmental glares from her passing neighbours.

Or that time, through a collective effort, the Bellas (minus Chloe, for reasons that will be immediately apparent) had sent Beca a shockingly high-quality cardboard cut-out of Chloe herself. It would have perhaps been funny if Beca had been alone, but she had unfortunately been with Chloe herself who had flown out to Los Angeles to see her for her birthday.

Admittedly that gift wasn’t the worst. In fact, Beca will never admit it, but it ended up being quite the matchmaker (ironic that a cut-out of Chloe had been their personal catalyst) that weekend. Chloe had probably blushed as much as Beca did upon first seeing it when she followed Beca to the front door.

The rest is history.

* * * * *

The short story is that Beca hadn’t been entirely prepared that weekend—or rather, she hadn’t anticipated—kissing Chloe let alone all the other incredibly fun activities transpired, largely with Beca on her back, hands tangled in Chloe’s hair and an aching need between her legs.

The short story is pretty great. The long story is even better with all the wonderful, steamy details.

But for Beca, there is no story better than the one she gets to experience right now, with Chloe by her side like she knows they were meant to be.

…Even if it kind of took her a ridiculously long time to figure out, plus the help of their nosy, crazy friends.

* * * * *

But to return to why Beca blames Stacie at all—

The day actually starts off kind of normal. Beca doesn’t have to go into the studio, she gets to wake up late, wrapped up in her favorite comforter and Chloe’s arms.

It’s the second birthday Beca has spent in Chloe’s arms, waking up to her kisses. So she kind of assumes that she’s about to have a really great day.

That is, until she drags her feet to the front door after hearing incessant knocking. Chloe laughs at Beca’s grumbling, pushing her out of the kitchen (not like Beca was really helping…unless the slow and steady progress she had been making on pulling Chloe’s shirt off is considered helping) as she bustles around, intent on throwing together some kind of brunch. Maybe even lunch since they stayed in bed well past appropriate breakfast hours.

Beca actually kind of forgets about the Bellas’ yearly tradition until she sees a delivery person in her doorway.

And the incredibly large box by his side. It’s more of a crate, really.

“Um—” Beca says.

“Beca Mitchell?”

Beca has half a mind to say no. “Yes,” she says warily, nearly exasperated as she reaches out to sign for the package.

Chloe rounds the corner, eyes widening in surprise when she sees the box. “Oh, is that—”

Beca peers at the packing slip that the delivery person drops off in her hand. “Stacie’s gift,” she sighs.

Chloe’s eyes brighten even more. “We have to open it.” She nudges Beca’s shoulder. “Remember last year’s?”

“How could I forget,” Beca asks dryly.

It’s kind of a fond memory.

* * * * *

Upon struggling with pulling the surprisingly heavy box through the entryway and front hall (read: Beca pushes very gently while Chloe does most of the work), Beca finally gets the box open.

Her first instinct is to scream when she is greeted with soulless eyes—doll eyes—and her second instinct is to, well, scream, which she does, jumping back right into Chloe’s arms.

“Holy fuck,” Beca gasps. “I hate them so much. I hate Stacie so much. What the fuck is this?”

Chloe continues pulling at the plastic wrapping surrounding the second box in which the doll is encased. She shoots Beca a playful glance. “It’s a sex doll, babe. Have you never seen one before?”

Beca crosses her arms. “Have you?”

“I like watching educational videos,” Chloe shrugs.

Beca pauses. “Educational—? About what? What could you possibly—hey, wait. Don’t try to distract me.” Chloe giggles. “Chloe! They literally sent us a sex doll!”

“They sent you a sex doll,” Chloe corrects. She tilts her head, taking in the red hair, the casual shorts and t-shirt, and the general make-up of the doll itself. “I think it—”

Beca takes a cautious step closer, finally stepping around Chloe’s side. “Hey, she kind of reminds me of Marley.”

Chloe’s eyes whip towards Beca with lightning speed. Beca can almost hear a bone crack somewhere. “Who?” Chloe asks, entirely too casually.

“Just this—” Beca swallows, suddenly taking in the intensity of Chloe’s eyes. “A…dancer who was with me on my last tour.”

She knows Chloe must remember her. Beca had never been anything more than friends with the people she went on tour with, but there had been the occasional flirtation that might have gone somewhere. Chloe had been one of the first people to really notice and pick up on those behaviours one time while she had been hanging with Beca backstage.

Beca hadn’t realized it was jealousy until well, much, much later. Like a literal year later when Chloe was suddenly kissing her in her living room.

“I remember,” Chloe finally says.

“Oh,” Beca says. She tilts her head. “Well, she kind of—”

“It’s a sex doll,” Chloe says shortly.

Beca laughs. “You were all over her earlier, what’s going on?” Beca realizes it is the entirely wrong thing to say when Chloe tenses up next to her. “I—wait—”

“Well, let’s get her out of there then,” Chloe says shortly, moving to fully pull the offending sex doll from the box.

Beca is alarmed. “Why? Let’s just leave her in there.”

“I mean, if you think she looks like…” Chloe trails off, shrugging nonchalantly, but Beca recognizes the tension in her shoulders. “Might as well take her out to really get a look at her.”

Jesus Christ.

Beca closes her eyes.

She loves Chloe, she really does—the whole being in love thing and all—but Chloe’s short fuse and disposition to immediately assume the worst things possible sometimes grinds on Beca's emotions in an annoying way. Annoyingly cute, is how Beca would describe it. Except when it rears its head as something that makes Beca want to pull her own hair out. This part of Chloe's personality is something that clashes spectacularly with Beca’s own short fuse, but they’ve made it work so far and their friendship even prior to their romantic relationship has survived far worse.

Beca refuses to fight over a sex doll. Christ.

By the time they maneuver the doll out of the box, they find a typed note from Stacie with an embarrassing amount of emojis and a heavy-handed implication that she thinks Beca and Chloe need some help spicing up their sex life. It is quite frankly offensive that Stacie thinks Beca needs any help in the bedroom department.

Beca is still grumbling about the note and considering where she can shred it and dispose of it when Chloe pushes the doll onto the couch. Beca watches her with a small measure of amusement, enjoying the way Chloe crosses her arms, literally sizing up an inanimate sex doll.

She kind of wants to comment that Chloe would totally win in a fight against the doll—or something equally dumb and lighthearted, but there is something about Chloe’s stance that is revitalizing Beca’s previous appetite. One that had nothing to do with breakfast or any kind of literal food.

“Chloe,” she begins.

Chloe sighs, heavily, like she is immensely burdened by the weight of her own thoughts. “Beca, this is obviously supposed to be me.”

Beyond the burden in Chloe’s voice, there is a certain, additional clipped tone to Chloe’s voice that Beca picks up on right away. It is a run-off from Chloe’s entire demeanor and ongoing attitude about this whole situation after Beca made that comment about her dancer. After dating Chloe for a year now and knowing her for much longer, Beca likes to think that she’s pretty good at picking up on these things. Like a good girlfriend and an even better friend.

“What’s wrong?” Beca asks immediately. “Talk to me, Chlo.”

“Like, it’s obviously supposed to be me,” Chloe repeats, brow furrowing.

“I mean—” Beca turns back to look at the sex doll, tilting her head. She moves to stand next to Chloe so they can both observe the object now occupying Beca’s couch.

Chloe frowns, poking her shoulder. “Stop staring so hard at it.”

Beca purposefully turns to look at the side of Chloe’s face, noting the flush on Chloe’s neck and cheeks. A slow, knowing smile creeps across Beca’s lips. She had known earlier, but it is even more apparent now. “Are you jealous?”

“I’m not jealous,” Chloe says in a tone that indicates she is in fact, jelly, as Chloe herself would say. Beca loves it.

“You are,” Beca goads. She loves when Chloe is the one who gets flustered. “Oh, you’re a hundred percent jealous. Of a sex doll.”

“It’s a dumb gift,” Chloe says, suddenly pushing Beca back against the couch. Beca collapses, trying not to smirk up at her girlfriend for fear that Chloe will want to teach her a lesson or something that she really would rather not hear about. “You really don’t think it looks like me?” Chloe asks, eyes blinking slowly and owlishly at Beca as she slowly sits on her lap.

Beca cuts a glance to the sex doll next to them, sitting almost too innocently. “I mean, it wasn’t the first thing I thought of,” Beca admits, jerking her attention back to Chloe as Chloe weaves her fingers through her hair.

“Right,” Chloe drawls, leaning down to nip at Beca’s jaw and neck. “But you think it looks like Marie—”

“—Marley,” Beca corrects before she can help herself.

Chloe’s grip tightens in her hair. Beca moans unwittingly, eyes slipping shut at the display of dominance Chloe is exerting over her. “Sorry,” she mumbles quickly. “Sorry—” she chases after Chloe’s lips, gasping out against Chloe’s mouth when Chloe’s hand comes up to grip her breast tightly through her shirt. “It was the hair—” Chloe hums against her throat. Beca struggles to correct herself. “Yours is so much nicer, baby,” she implores. “Please,” she whispers.

Chloe finally releases the hold she has on Beca’s hair and her chest and lifts her arms to pull off her shirt instead. Beca blinks at the expanse of skin on display, unable to help the smirk that really does spread across her face.

“You’re so hot,” she says as innocently as she can. “But you’re also so pretty.” Chloe stares down at her. “I love you?” Beca tries. Her eyes flick down to Chloe’s chest. “I promise you that I’m not looking at the sex doll.”

Chloe unhooks her bra, raising an eyebrow. “I hope so.”

They make out for a little while longer, Beca eagerly groping at Chloe’s chest as they do so. She likes eliciting small sounds from Chloe—a groan, a grunt, a whimper—with each tug of a stiff, pebbled nipple. Chloe shifts ever so slightly, indicating that she wants to push Beca across the couch horizontally. Beca pulls away from the kiss quickly, when her foot kicks against an offending object.

She had forgotten about that damn doll. “Wait,” she says quickly. “I’m not like…looking at it or anything but it’s…it’s touching my foot,” Beca explains. Beca glances at the doll in question over Chloe’s shoulder. “Maybe we should move it. Or like…go to bed—” Beca watches the expressions change on Chloe’s face. “Or we can do whatever you want,” she says sweetly, trying to lean up to capture Chloe’s lips once more.

Chloe raises her eyebrow and in a flash, she is leaving Beca’s lap, leaving Beca feeling cold and empty as she feels usually whenever Chloe leaves their bed too early in the morning or when Chloe pulls away from a hug too soon. “Good idea,” Chloe drawls, picking the doll up bodily (Beca’s eyes zero in on the expanse of muscles rippling on Chloe’s back and arms as she does so) and proceeding to bring it over to her balcony.

Beca briefly protests Chloe’s state of near-nudity but she figures that nobody can really see into her apartment anyway. She watches in amazement as Chloe heaves the doll and throws—literally throws—it past the sliding glass doors.

Beca winces as the head of the doll glances roughly off the railing and literally detaches from the body of the doll, rolling off down onto the quad in Beca’s apartment complex. Likely for some poor unsuspecting soul to find.

Chloe grins back at Beca who continues to watch her with a mildly awed, mildly terrified expression. She shuts the door calmly, moving back to straddle Beca on the couch. “What?” she asks lightly, suddenly in a much better mood.

“That wasn’t very feminist of you,” Beca comments, sliding her hands up Chloe’s thighs to the edge of the underwear she continues to wear.  

Chloe pouts. “Let me make it up to you, then.” She moves her hands back to Beca’s hair, pulling her in for a searing kiss, teeth and all. Beca moans softly, meeting Chloe kiss for kiss as Chloe’s hips slowly begin to grind down in her lap.

It takes Beca a moment to respond. A moment to catch her breath. She blinks, looking up at Chloe with so much love in her chest that it makes her ache momentarily. “We should…” Her throat dries when Chloe shifts in her lap. “We should clean that up.”

“Beca,” Chloe murmurs, pulling her back to the present; back to the present time with no sex dolls, no stupid gifts, and just Chloe in her arms on her damn birthday. “Tell me what you want me to do.” She trails her lips up to Beca’s ear, flicking her tongue out against the piercing she finds there.

“Um,” Beca says articulately. Chloe kisses her again.

It’s a good birthday, all things considered.

“Where were we?” Chloe asks, breath hot against Beca’s lips.

Beca licks her lips, leaning up for another kiss before she finally responds, a bit more breathless than before. “Right here. Exactly where I want to be,” Beca mumbles, this time smiling so widely that it makes her cheeks hurt. Chloe giggles against her mouth, responding in kind as she slides her hands down Beca’s chest, grabbing at the material of her shirt.

Beca scrambles to help, tugging at her shirt and then pushing at the fabric of Chloe’s underwear. Chloe sighs into her mouth and lifts herself momentarily to help pull her underwear down. As she does so, however, she slides off Beca’s lap to kneel at her feet and pull Beca’s shorts down her legs. Beca bites her lip, eyes drawn to how swollen Chloe’s lips are. She whimpers when Chloe spreads her knees, pulling at her calves so Beca slides down couch just a little bit more.

“Wait, I want to—” Beca grunts, a small high-pitched sound, when Chloe’s lips kiss a messy trail up her inner thigh towards her dripping center before Beca feels Chloe’s lips wrap around her clit without much preamble. Her hand flies down to wrap in Chloe’s hair, keeping her in place. She hisses, long and low when Chloe continues to relentlessly kiss and suck at the wet flesh between her legs.

Her cunt aches, already desperate for Chloe all over again. She’s so fucking easy. Beca likes to think they both are.

Chloe glances up at her, momentarily stopping her ministrations. “Yes?” She smiles then, lips and chin shiny—fucking shiny—with Beca’s wetness.

Beca groans, her chin dropping down so she can meet Chloe’s gaze head-on. “Don’t stop,” she pleads. “Please, Chlo."

Chloe hums, fingers pressing more firmly into Beca’s thighs. "Watch me,” she commands softly. “Eyes on me, Bec. Or I’ll stop."

Beca obeys, knowing exactly why Chloe is asking this of her, but she is helpless to do anything more than give in, especially when Chloe makes it feel so fucking good.

"You’re so hot when you’re jealous,” Beca comments in a strangled voice. It’s a jab and she knows it, but she loves the fire she can practically feel coursing through Chloe’s veins. It crackles in the air between them, manifesting in the sharp look Chloe gives her, even as her tongue slices through the growing need. She clenches wantonly around nothing, really, as Chloe’s tongue quickly darts up to flick at her neglected clit. She tugs her lower lip between her teeth when Chloe’s eyes flash up at her dangerously.

“Nothing to be jealous of,” Chloe says in an entirely too-cheerful tone as she brings her fingers to the mix, expertly dipping into Beca with ease and familiarity.

Beca thinks of the poor beheaded doll on her balcony.

She supposes that’s true. It was never a competition anyway.

* * * * *

Beca decides she will send a thank you note to Stacie this time. Just this once.

fin.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 1373

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 1373

Spoilers, obv.

(I say I do these before the next issue came out. I was posting this yesterday and my tumblr account died. As in, my tumblr account was terminated.There’s a couple of things which make me think it’s a glitch (not least there’s no reason for it I could think of, unless Tumblr really loathes writer notes about a lucifer nun. I contact them going “Huh?” and come the morning, it’s back. Hmm. Anyway - here you go, and the next special - Wicdiv: the funnies is out today) 

The final historical special, which seems to require my notes to pull them together and talk about the larger intent. Sitting here and writing, I’m not sure I want to. The backbone of the specials have been the relationship between various Lucifers and Ananke across the centuries. You get a chance at least get acquainted with four Lucifer’s, and get to compare and contrast, and you get to see more developed portraits of what Ananke has been up to across the centuries. As the last one in the printed chronology, that means this one ties all that together, plus (as the other one) introducing some key ideas for the next arc.

It differs in another way – while that’s how the reading order will work for anyone working in single issues, in trades, it’s another story. These are going to be gathered together as Volume 8 (OLD IS THE NEW NEW) and printed chronologically (as in, 455, 1373, 1833, 1922). That’s how people in trades are going to first experience them, which creates a different spin and will bring different elements to the surface.

To state the obvious, the big thing in this one is “oh – here’s how bad Ananke can be.” By implication, it raises the stakes for the final arc in terms of what she could do if her back is against the wall.

I admit, I’ve always been a bit worried when I see a handful of people assume the specials aren’t essential to the story. I don’t believe we’ve ever said that, and it’s simply not true. You can skip them, sure, but it breaks the story as much as skipping any individual issue of WicDiv. What we’ve said is that trade readers don’t need to buy the specials to follow the story. I’m trying to think of anything I could have said that could have been misconstrued? Possibly the “anything we use will be reintroduced”? I dunno.

Anyway – this is simultaneously the biggest and smallest of the special. The idea came to me early – a Lucifer having escaped to a nunnery, repented and lived past the end of her two years. Then Ananke and Minerva catch up with her. Apart from that, I knew that it would give the clearest statement of what Ananke has been doing, and that it would end in fire. The rest of this issue was a process of discovery.

(I’ve talked influences here. Ken Russell’s the Devils. Carrie. The Seventh Seal. Black Narcissus. The Sound Of Music. One of these is a lie.)

To get it up front: I was raised Catholic. This issue caused Katie and Chrissy to basically glance side-eye at me, as if encountering an alien. I’ve done something similar to this before, with Generation Hope’s Idie, but this is a far deeper, darker dive into that.

Fun time, for everyone. The response has been interesting. The people who loved it adored it. Catholic Guilt fist-bump.

Jamie/Matt’s Cover: This is just a stunning one. Jamie’s ability to switch modes is something we rarely push in WicDiv (mainly in icons) but doing stained glass is a hell of a thing. But Matt comes out with something else, and actually making this thing glow. Numinous. Totally Numinous.

Ryan’s Cover: Ryan and I first worked together in Three, and I’d first really fell for his work in his Northlanders arcs, so there’s historical fiction previous. This is a particularly grimy issue of WicDiv, and he’s leaned into it. Lucifer, penitent, looking up – at us, but as we go further, we realise her Father. This is the only place we see with her horns. Clearly, having this on the cover and seeing what she looks like inside has an implied story.

IFC

The icons were oddly tricky here, and Jamie had to work for a period drawing of Satan to riff on. However, the Minerva is a delight. If anyone has seen my attempted drawing of a Minerva symbol when signing Volume 7 will know, this is about my level of physical accuracy.

One thing about the specials I find interesting is what’s the minimum of historical data we have to give to make a story make sense. Obviously “It is thought to be the greatest natural of all time” is loaded. Especially the word “natural.” I wish I tweaked it to make it clear I was talking about the Black Death’s effect on the world rather than just Europe though. The Black Death devastating Europe isn’t the biggest natural disaster – it’s the Black Death full stop.

Page 1

I wrote this issue sparsely. It’s designed to be mediative. As such, a slow long pan opening, setting up the themes visually.

The host… well, do I have to explain Catholicism here? The Host is transformed in the ceremony into the body of Jesus Christ. In this period, however, the actual eating of the host was relatively rare. As such, most ceremonies were more about the simple act of observing the host – the holding up in the modern ceremony is a hold-over for that, as well as the larger size of the host itself so folks can see it better.

Of course, that the observation was the key things make this scene possible – it’s possible for someone to observe the host without actually entering the church, as this long slow pan back from the divinity of the church to the rats on the streets show.

Avignon was home of the Papacy in this period. Generally speaking, there was less research in this special than any other one. I read enough to get the Black Death details I needed, to trace its path and various other things, as well as hitting up period Catholicism. However, it’s also the special that’s most based on my own actual pre-existing knowledge.

Page 2

Size is meaning, as always, and an intro to Lucifer’s cheery catchphrase for the issue.

Oddly, getting period Nun garb for lucifer was hard. I wanted originally for her to be a noviate (as in, Novice)but I couldn’t get reference I trusted, so I went full Nun. FULL NUN. Or NUN MORE GOTH as several excellent people put it.

Page 3

By this point we should realise that Lucifer wants her Father To Forgive Her. I am subtle and elegant in my writing, so you may have missed this.

Good stern mother superior here. The choice of the reds in the eyes is strong. And the reveal of the sawn off horns, which says everything about her.

Page 4

From Ring a ring o’Roses, which folks say is about the plague, but apparently dates from far too late.

Page 5-6

And hello, Minerva. You’re having a bad century too. Trying to signal that she’s falling apart but it’s not the plague was a tricky thing, and we obviously do a lot of pointing in the dialogue.

It’s only here that you start getting the weird and uncanny cleanness of the mud-rolling Lucifer. That she’s addressed as the Girl Who Walks Through Plague makes it even odder. This is an unusual notes for me – I haven’t looked at the issue in a while, so some odd stuff is striking.

“None of us are irredeemable” – god, this issue is king of the loaded lines.

The dispensation thing is a reach, but not an impossible one – during the plague there was a dispensation given in various areas where layfolk could hear each other’s confessions when there was no access to a Priest. This seemed a logical enough extrapolation.

Lucifer’s last lines… oh, I’ll save that. She’s got more WTF ARE YOU SAYING ones in a minute.

Page 7-8-9-10

The Two Days Later loc cap reminds me of what I was doing in terms of setting the date of the story – it’s the Sunday before lent kicks off. That google lets us easily find the calendar for the period and work out when Lent would start is A+.

So much mud! Matt is known for the hyper-bright effects, so to go into something as low-key as this is great. See how it works with Ryan as well.

Flagellants are one of the bits of the research which tweaked the story a little. Self-mortification was on my mind – it’s a key thing in The Devils – and the Flagellants are the avatar of religious injuries, so I was thinking of them anyway. After all – they’re a great image, this mass of people whipping themselves and lamenting loudly. Anyway, I do the research, and discover that as well as travelling the country lamenting, they also were basically a wandering lynch mob killing Jews. Which takes the fun out them, y’know?

“A ditch of god’s good earth is closer to paradise than I deserve” – that’s the kind of line that had me looking at my fingers as if they were alien beings. This issue was structured loosely – Lucifer is called, experiences things on the way, and hears Ananke’s confession” with me writing to explore the setting and characters. As such, it was a surprise half the things Lucifer said about the world around her. This shouldn’t surprise me though – I had a similar experience with Idie, in terms of just being afraid for her.

That Lucifer is THE GIRL WHO WOULDN’T BURN is another connection to Idie, of course. And also foreshadowing.

The nudity is the hardest thing to do, especially when you add whipping to it. I wanted it objective, nature of fact. I have no idea if we pulled it off or not. I do like the space that Ryan puts between the head flagellant, Lucifer and the rest – as if they’re a little intimidated, not wanting to be involved.

And then Lucifer’s judgement. Lucifer’s pride and self-hate are fascinatingly intertwined. I’m not sure if I could have dealt with writing much more of her, but part of me would love to have.

(God – just had the image of Lucifer as my crucifix, which is so OTP I laugh)

The silence at the end of the page makes it linger. The expression Ryan gives Lucifer at the end of the scene – utterly ambivalent to the violence behind her – is one of the more quietly chilling things in the book.

Page 11

I could have just had Lucifer find Ananke here, but I wanted something to show her heading through the town – as well as a chance to look at the plague symptoms. The idea of Ananke having arranged all these corpses to guide the way seemed both chilling and very Ananke.

Worth noting – these are the wrong symptoms for Plague circa 1373. This is the original Black Death symptoms, because Ananke is still carrying the O.G. Plague. It’s not the sort of thing I suspect anyone would ever notice, but it’s there.

Lucifer entering the hut on the last page is a great one – Ryan modulating tone towards Lucifer. This is a straight horror shot.

12-13

And hello, Ananke. You look well, how are you, what have you been up to?

YOU DID WHAT? ANnnnnakkkke!!!!

I like the central framing of this. Purely Objective.

The core question of the issue right at the end of the issue – I do like how Ryan has Ananke pushing up the villain here. Ananke knows how this is going to go. Anankes always don’t really want to die, but I suspect this one may be an exception. This has been no fun at all for her.

The Harrowing Of Hell is basically when Christ went down to Hell to free all the souls from Satan. In short. I’m really not sure how much of this stuff I have to say – a lot of you are Americans, and a far less secular culture than us Brits. Most of my readers didn’t know any of this, which did lead to dialling back the allusions a little.

From now on the issue is basically two women talking in a room, one of whom spends the whole time weak in bed. This is not exactly dramatic comics, so we have to work to keep it visually interesting. To be honest, I always like the challenge. One of the most fun issues I wrote at marvel was just Cyclops and Wolverine in a cell, arguing, with just a six pack for company.

Anyway – some great expressions here from Ananke. Look at panel 5 on page 13. Such contempt!

Page 14-15

For those working out what’s up with Minerva, 14 would be the page to go into. We already know from issue 36 what happens if she can’t complete the ritual.

The flashback to Lucifer’s transformation is an interesting one – the pink colouring really makes me think of 90s Vertigo, and the non-pop-comics they put out then seem to be the closest to this issue.

I like the steel in Lucifer’s glance in panel 2 of page 15, and how uncomfortable that makes Ananke.

Page 16-17

The main thing to try and keep this scene less static is Ananke’s Knife. For these two pages it’s a “Oh – Lucifer’s picked it up. That implies something.” The second is “is she going to use it”. Keep things interacting.

These pages are the simplest explaining of Ananke’s methodology. A lot could be extrapolated, but this ties it together. The other side of this pushes forward what I originally conceived for the historical specials  - as in, seeing how Ananke’s desires twist a little across the centuries. Frankly? She hits the beat again later, but this is a snapshot of how she’s feeling circa 1373.

Page 18-19 “Adieu” is the one bit of actual french in it. I’m not normally a big one on this. It just sometimes feels right.

The tension of the previous page turns is born of the knife, but here’s it’s all about Ananke’s questions. The pauses panel on page 18 is the thing which lends the question weight. I’m fond of “Frozen” panels where you don’t really get to see someone’s face.

The Father on Earth/Father in Heaven enters the story, of course. This is at the heart of the book.

Yet more dead parents on issue 19. WicDiv, eh?

Wherein, Lucifer has the world’s worst superhero origin story. It’s… like, Guilt? I’ve always had a sort of twinge of “Hmmm” towards Spider-man. Guilt is a motivation that has to be unpacked.

Anyway – Lucifer’s fundamental tragedy.

Page 20-21

Here’s a thought experiment for writers – try re-arranging the statements in the first panel here, and realise why we did the order we did and the implication it would carry if we did it in another way. “The Flagellants” is yet more precision to make sure you demarcate stuff.

The plague traveling comes from the research, and as far as I can work out, is accurate. Of course, there’s far better theories to explain this weirdness than “An invulnerable Old Lady was driving the ship”. People will come to respect my genius in years to come, I’m sure.

Ananke is laying it on a little thick, of course. Like… this is a very strange confession. Confessions are strange. There’s a question of what power is.

This is one of those pages which I suspect will become more important when collected with the other specials and read as the eighth volume before the conclusion.

Page 22-23

Great building rage here from Ryan, and what Matt does with the mood is also A+. The arrival of the wet, gore reds after an issue of the mud and old blood is something else. Compare and contrast to the reds and oranges in Lucifer’s eyes.

I look at this and think about page turns. In an ideal world, the 22-23 would be a page turn – you can see she doesn’t stab Ananke, and the self-inflicted injury by glancing to the right. But space is always a premium, and frankly every page could do with being the reveal-turn in this sequence. It’s that or pad it, right?

Ryan added a panel to draw out the pulling away the flesh, which I love.

“this is my body” is about the point where we realise THIS IS REACHING PEAK CATHOLICISM.

Page 24-25-26

I’m feeling if I explain the sacrament here, I’m patronising folks, and if I don’t, these notes kind of are missing the point. I say a bit earlier here, but Google Transubstantiation if you don’t know it. Suffice to say, this is a particularly blasphemous flip of the core regular miracle of the Catholic mass. Bread and wine into the body and blood of Jesus Christ. Lucifer’s body into fire.

I can’t remember where I had this idea from. I knew it ended in fire initially, but didn’t realise it would be this. It was just there when I needed it. It made sense, and that it makes sense worries me. Comics!

Anyway – everything goes Carrie, as the fire consumes them both. The full horror stretching out and out as much as we can, and we return to the “father forgive me” which haunts this book. Which, by this point, everyone knows is loaded.

I like this Lucifer. She’s one of my favourites. I’m glad I got to write her.

Page 27

And Minerva heads off, with her bag of you know what, into the future.

Page 28

Yes “Transubstantiation” pushes the WicDiv design to breaking point.

That’s enough. Thanks for Ryan to join us on this one – he’s an incredible talent and we were lucky to have him. As I write, WicDIv: The Funnies drops tomorrow, with WicDiv returning for its final arc in November.

Thanks for reading.

[hazyheel]

Monday Night Raw 5/20/19 Review

We opened with Heyman and Lesnar, who still has that briefcase for some reason. Apparently the two planned this when they saw Zayn beat Strowman on Raw last week. And I guess Lesnar was actually in that match, because of some negotaitions backstage, and I’m glad they addressed it. Heyman cut a really good promo about how both world champions should be paranoid. Seth Rollins then came out. Rollins insulted Lesnar for being a terrible champion. He challenged Lesnar to cash in the contract now, which Heyman desperately tried to stop from happening. But Heyman basically just said that it wouldn’t happen, because Rollins is on their time. Heyman kinda insulted Rollins by saying that he didn’t main event Wrestlemania while his girlfriend, Becky Lynch, did. I didn’t know they were dating, so that was lovely to hear. I’m a sucker for wrestling couples. Anyway, Heyman said that Lesnar may cash in on Kofi as well, because Rollins isn’t worthy of being in the ring with Lesnar. Kingston came out, and said that he doesn’t mind fighting Lesnar, and even challenged him. Heyman said that since both champions were asking Brock for a match, which kinda makes him more important than both titles. He didn’t cash in, but he said that he might at any point in the night.

Backstage, Kingston and Rollins talked to Triple H about what they’d be doing later, which was them teaming up for the main event against Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin. Ugh.

Grade: B. Super good promo, but it didn’t actually give us anything new. I always love to hear Heyman on the mic, and I like that dynamic where Brock is so important that both champions want to fight him. Its interesting. Honestly, Brock having the title is exciting, because he is an exciting talent. I want to see where this ends up going. Personally, I think Kofi is gonna get his ass beat by Lesnar, because he has a fairytale story that is worth ruining to get Brock over more. Hopefully, that’ll be later rather than sooner.

Then we had Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn. Zayn ran away before the match could even start. They brawled a bit backstage, and Zayn got his ass beat. Strowman was face to face with Bobby Lashley, but they did not come to blows. Strowman literally carried Zayn back to the ring. Zayn kinda had the advantage by the time the match actually started, but Strowman flattened him and hit a running powerslam for the win.

Grade: B+. This whole segment was super fun. Zayn’s acting here, where he was just ridiculously terrified of Bruan was entertaining. I am not usually into this, but the way that Sami sold everything was pretty funny. I don’t think they should make a habit of this kind of thing, but this was good in isolation.

Lars Sullivan then had an interview, which before I even heard I felt was detrimental to his character. Charly seemed really scared, which was good, and then we saw a video package of him since his debut. Charly asked about his goals, but the Lucha House party came out ot interrupt him. They wanted to fight him, and the three of them together were actually able to beat him to the ground. However, one on one he had an advantage. He was able to outlast each other them by waiting for the team to split up and he attacked them one at a time. Sullivan was able to stand tall once again, although not in as dominant a way as at Money in the Bank.

Grade: B-. A discount version of last night, with the added dynamic of the Lucha House Party being able to take down Sullivan when they worked together. But given that I saw it literally last night, I am gonna be a bit harsher.

Next up was Ricochet vs. Cesaro. Cesaro had a new entrance that was very generic. The match happened because Cesaro called Ricochet weak for having his back hurt in the ladder match last night. So naturally Cesaro worked over the back. At one point, Ricochet literally jumped onto Cesaro’s shoulders and then backflipped off of him.  That is insane control from both guys. Ricochet hit an awesome suicide dive, but the spot was kinda ruined by the commercial for the secret life of pets ad. Cesaro was able to get the win here with a neutralizer.

Grade: B-. Not a lot of time here, but some pretty good spots. I think that they can do great stuff together if they are given some faith.

Backstage, Charly interviewed AJ Styles about his loss, and he was pretty humble about his loss. Corbin then showed up and they trash talked back and forth, and it ended with AJ slapping Corbin. Corbin just said that he would pay for that, and then the segment just ended.

Roman Reigns then had a promo, but before he could even start, Shane McMahon came out to confront him. Shane said that he was totally done with the Miz, and he said that he was still pissed about how Reigns attacked Vince a while ago. Reigns then said that he wanted to fight Shane tonight, but Shane refused. Instead, Drew McIntyre came out, and just sorta stood next to Shane for the rest of the promo. However, he then said that he accepted the challenge for Super Showdown.

Grade: D+. This was really boring, and they teased McIntyre vs. Reigns (I still have hope that it’ll be good sometime) and then didn’t give it to us. Figured Reigns vs. Shane would happen at some point, but it will proabably suck unless they give it a stip.

Backstage, McIntyre and Shane were walking around backstage, and Miz confronted them. McIntyre kinda said that he would protect Shane, and then Miz challenged McIntyre.

Next up was the Usos vs. The Revival. Wilder jumped Jimmy before the bell, and then beat the living crap out of him. Jey got a huge hot tag and beat down both heels. Jey and Dawson slugged it out in the middle of the ring at one point, culminating in a double superkick and a near fall. On the outside, Wilder nailed Jimmy with a tornado DDT, and then Wilder got hit with a vicious suicide dive.

Grade: B. Almost a B+, but not quite competitive enough. This really is a dream match, and I cannot wait to see them actually able to cut loose. I want to see them pull off a really good match. For now though, this was the match of the night.

Backstage, Alexa Bliss confronted Nikki Cross about losing the ladder match last week. And then the Revival came in and were being annoying, and then the segment ended.

Then came the firefly funhouse, and all it was was the themsong glitching out a bit.

Then was a moment of Bliss, with Nikki Cross as the guest, as well as Becky Lynch. Lynch was over as hell in this venue. Cross just stood there awkwardly as they talked. Before Lynch could say anything, the Iconics came out. They said she was Becky One Belt, which is still better than most can say. Lynch wasn’t having any of their BS, and actually challenged them to a match for the Women’s Tag Team Championship. Lacey Evans came out and was being mean, and Becky said that she already beat Evans with only half her attention. She then challenged Evans and the Iiconics to a six woman tag. Cross volunteered to be on Lynch’s team, and Becky said that Alexa would also join. Alexa tried to protest, but Lynch told her to stand around and look pretty. I laughed out loud.

Grade: B+. Not quite an A- because it was a little too crowded, and everyone else brought the quality down, but Becky was sure as hell on point during this. She was tough, she was funny, and it felt like one of her twitter wars. I missed this Becky

In the actual match, Nikki Cross was in the ring a little bit, but really was only fighting so that Becky could get a hot tag. Evans immediately left when Becky got in the ring. She beat the crap out of the Iiconics, and she beat them with a top rope leg drop. Bliss and Cross celebrated in the ring, but Lynch just walked out and held her title high

Grade: D. I was going to grade this and the promo at the same time, but this match sucked. The only reason that it got some points in my book was that Becky really shined, and there were some funny moments, like Alexa just drinking coffee on the outside and one point when Becky hit Billie Cay really hard, and Royce yelled her named, followed immediately by a huge “oof” because Becky Knocked her off the apron. Funny, but not good.

Then we had Mick Foley with a huge announcement: the next title in the WWE. He talked about what being a champion meant, and then he brought out the 24/7 title, which is basically a neutered version of the hardcore championship. The crowd knew that too, and they booed. He resorted to saying the name of the city to get a pop.

The inaugeral champion was crowned by a scramble for the belt, and a bunch of the lower card guys ran down to try to get it. Corey was gonna run out and get it, but Cole and Renee told him to sit down. This was just wild and stupid fun, nothing of note really happened. Titus was able to grab it, so he is the first champion. But then Robert Roode ran out and rolled him up, so Robert Roode won it.

Grade: B-. I don’t think the smark in me can give this any higher than a B-. But I loved this to death. It was so dumb and awesome. The promo kinda flopped when it wasn’t the hardcore championship, and I genuinely don’t think that this belt is worth anything, but it is kinda a kick in the ass that will make me want to watch. I think that it’ll be less exciting then the Hardcore championship given the lack of weapon shots to the face and head, but it’ll still be stupid fun.

Next match was Miz vs. McIntyre. I don’t know why this match took place in the dark, but they changed the logo mid show and it made the stadium look a bunch darker. Miz desperately fought against his bigger opponent, trying to take him out at the knees but not really standing much of a chance. Miz continued to work the knee and eventually locked in the figure four for a submission sequence. Miz tried to attack Shane on the outside, but Shane ran away, which allowed him to run back and attack him when the ref’s back was turned. McIntyre followed up with a claymore for the win.

After the match, Shane went for a coast to coast on Miz, but Roman came out to fight him off. He hit McIntyre with a superman punch and stood tall.

Grade: C. This was very meh. Just felt placeholder, and there was no reason for Miz to almost be able to beat McIntyre.

Backstage, Robert Roode ran past Corbin and Lashley, told them they didn’t see him, and then ran again. The rest of the low card chased him, including Drake Maverick, who hurt his back during the scramble cuz Titus threw him out of the ring. He was limping, and just sort of apologized to the heels. I love this belt, it is so dumb.

Samoa Joe then addressed his attack on Rey Mysterio, who apparently was injured during the attack. Basically he said that Mysterio deserved it.

Robert Roode hid inside of R-Truth’s trunk, who was helping him. Then Truth attacked Roode, and won the title. I love this.

And in the main event, Kofi Kingston and Seth Rollins took on Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin in a no disqualification match. The heels jumped the faces before the bell, and they were tagging in and out for some reason when the match started proper. At one point, Lashley and Corbin were going to superplex Kingston, but Rollins attacked them both with a chair. Kingston was able to get the win with a trouble in paradise.

Immediately after the match, Lashley speared both faces. Brock Lesnar then walked down to the ring, but did not end up cashing in.

Grade: B-. This match was kinda bland, but the no DQ stip was a good change of pace. I liked that, but the match didn’t do much for me. But it was still a cool thing to have in the main event. I definitely never thought that Brock was cashing in, so that didn’t bother me.

Overall Grade: B-, because most of this show was just meh.

Pros: opening promo; strowman squash; usos vs. revival; moment of bliss; 24/7 championship

Cons: shane mcmahon promo; 6-woman tag; Miz vs. McIntyre

[savannahspeaking-blog]

Why start the blog now?

To be honest, dedicating myself to this blog right now is a very awkward time for me. My endless to-do list just keeps growing as deadlines and graduation creep up on me. However, the fact that I am able to have an outlet that I can be completely open about my faith and walk with Christ that can reach anyone across the world has me--embarrassingly-- squealing of joy in my bed. I cannot wait to see what could happen with this, whether it’s making a difference in one person or one thousand, it will be worth it. The final push God gave me to create this was my experience with Him at the high school winter retreat this past weekend. After coming home I wanted to tell everyone how God impacted me but, that wasn’t enough. So here I am telling the world! Funny how that works. 

So what happened at winter retreat Savannah? Well, I’ll tell ya exactly what happened, friend! After school last Friday I rushed home and packed all my things in the span of fifteen minutes, (which is a record), and prayed over the weekend. I have been debating on going the summer church camp or to Haiti lately so I prayed for God to show me where He wants me to go. After that, I headed off to run errands with a friend of mine before getting to the church to leave! The moment I arrived at the church I knew immediately this retreat was going to be different than all the other ones. Not only did all my close friends graduate last year so it was just me but, I was drenched in anxiety when I got there. Being anxious is not a stranger to me, however, being anxious at my home church is. Usually, I am at my happiest there. So, in that moment, I knew two things; the enemy did not want me going and God was going to speak wonders into my life. The enemy knows when God is going to influence you, and he’s scared of His power, so he tries everything in his power to get you not to go. For example, earlier in the week there was a glitch in the registration system so technically I wasn’t signed up--luckily things worked out and I was able to go. Then the enemy would whisper in my ear all the reasons why I shouldn’t go, reminded me of how exhausted I have been recently. Finally, the day came to leave and once he realized I was still going he believed making my anxiety 10x stronger than before would stop me--HA! Once I was on the bus heading to the retreat, anxiety flooded over me the whole two-hour drive to Indiana. He even went to the lengths of using my PTSD against me with having the bus gets stuck in a ditch for ten minutes--which lead me to have a crazy panic attack after I got off, ugly tears and all, oops. I called my mom after it happened and she was almost in her car to come get me but I told her to stay home. I was not about to miss out on what God had in store for me. 

Man oh man did God move mountains. Even though I was pretty independent the whole trip, I made so many connections with many different people. The two most prominent ones were with the leaders at the camp. The first leader is who is in charge of the Haiti trip I want to go on this summer! My church has multiple different campuses that all go to the same retreat at once. So, it just so happens that she is a leader on my campus! If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is. 

The second leader leans more on the deeper level. My first post explains how I want to get real with other teens about common problems we all face in this generation. So, I’m going to get real right off the bat. I confided in this leader about the lustful sins I have committed. Now, having lust and being a girl isn’t a popular duo in the Christian faith. However, it is totally there. If you haven’t seen a cute boy and thought “wow he’s cute I want to kiss him” you’re a dirty liar! Hahahah, jokes aside, it is a common sin, just not talked about a lot. I confessed to her everything I have done and there is freedom in confession. Right after I told her, my chains were broken. I was set free of that burden in my life. That sin that took pride in the darkness is now blinded by the light! I encourage you to tell someone who you trust and is mature enough to handle those type of confessions! 

After that moment, the rest of the weekend was a game changer. I saw everything in a new light. The Holy Spirit began to speak loud and clear to me. I began to lose myself in worship. During worship, I felt for the first time that the war with sin is over. That it. is. finished. Once that clicked with me I became that person jumping up and down when everyone else was swaying-- it got that real. 

Refreshed is an understatement for me. I finally feel that I can pour out to others again without becoming exhausted. So now, I am trying to think of fundraiser ideas for Haiti and becoming more of an open book with others. I’m allowing the Holy Spirit to mold me into who He wants me to be and what to do. Trying to take full control of my life is overrated anyway, so I am giving it all to God. He is my shepherd, my peacemaker, my Father. He will do everything in my best interest at heart. He is Lord.  

“He chases me down, fights till I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine”

[thesteveyates]

Wykeham-Martin that is.

I was going to call this post “enter the troll-beast” for the many problems that i consistently had with sailing Inanda for the first time.  Some things are clearly not as good as they could be, the sailing ergonomics for example are awful, but a lot of my problems last week simply came down to ‘noob’ error.  Some of you might have the mistaken impression that i am some sort of mega-experienced old salt who can sail anything, anywhere and any time.  Well, although i might in the past have been able to choreograph 26 people on the deck of a maxi doing twin-pole gybes, big spinnaker sets and drops in lots of wind and so on, Inanda has really tested my basic sailing skills and it’s been quite a humbling experience. I guess i have been spoiled by the Liberty which is almost the ultimately simple sailing experience especially given the work i did to make her even easier to sail.

Inanda by comparison is a very physical boat to sail, difficult at times to work on deck, lots of string to pull and adjust and lots of small things that can go wrong during basic sail handling that then cause further problems. In time i would simply adjust and get used to it all but there are some things that really are a problem and need changing as soon as possible.

Just to go back over the details, Inanda is a gaff cutter with a traditionally proportioned mains’l dominant rig.  The rig is relatively short but with a very long gaff and long boom.  Both the boom and the gaff have been extended and as far as i can tell the bowsprit hasn’t been extended to compensate for the extra power high up and further back.  Pete (previous owner) told me that Inanda’s previous owner actually sailed with the first reef tied in most of the time as that balanced the boat better and my experience so far is that this is true. I really only had the full main up once when i was running ‘light’ down the Solent and even then that big main wants to take over and turn the boat up into the wind.   With some form of self-steering or a mate on board i would then have hoisted more grunt up front to re-balance her but didn’t have that option on the trip.  The best and most balanced sailing i had with Inanda was during the long beats in the Thames in fairly consistent wind and little waves when i was able to balance the single reef plus jib and staysail with some degree of weather helm and the tiller pegged. In that state i was able to relax for long enough to do all the other work and not have to attend to the steering.  The polar opposite was after i lost the staysail halyard and couldn’t get the jib to deploy on it’s furling gear with over-riding the drum and had too much wind and chop to deal with….then it became a total pain to handle and increasingly difficult to sail.  The low point was beating out from behind Dungeness point where i just couldn’t get it right….kept getting things wrong during simple sail handling, couldn’t get the jib to deploy, kept having to drop the jib and bring the bowsprit traveller in, lost the staysail halyard and all while pitching into a nasty head sea.  That whole day was just exhausting with problem after problem.  Eventually that day i gave in trying to sail properly and took her down to 3 reefs and let her drive upwind on the engine running hard and the main just pulling.  Her small fuel tank then caught me out and i had to heave-to while i refilled the tank and bled the engine through.

You can see where i had to work to try and sort out the furling gear.

Each part of the rig has caused me problems and i am happy to admit that some of that just comes down to inexperience with the rig but i also want to add that some of it also comes down to the rig design and set-up and specifically the furling gear which i think is a fundamentally badly designed piece of kit. I think that for me everything that could go wrong with the furling gear did go wrong…..from getting the jib wound up with the now-slack forestay (traveller too far forward), not deploying (furling line jumped off drum) furler won’t furl (line off drum again) and so on and so on.                                                        I have never had a Wykeham-Martin furling gear before and never want one again…..this one almost got stowed in the briney when i became ultimately frustrated with it’s troll-like nature.  I did for a while seriously contemplate simply setting the jib flying or even finding a cheap bucket and banding it like a spinnaker. I do know of some quite big gaffers that set flying jibs….i think Pete’s smack works that way for example.  While i was in Newhaven i had a good look at the other small gaffer, which i think is also a Deben, to see his set-up.  He has his jib on a Wykeham Martin out on the bowsprit but doesn’t have a forestay at all so that gets rid of one problem.  I have wondered about doing that with Inanda, clearly it’s the jib luff that is doing the work once it’s under tension.    Just to back-up a bit the handling procedure seems to be :

Roll the sail into a long sausage around it’s wire luff such that there are a couple of turns of sheet around the sausage.

Attach the Jib tack to the bowsprit traveller and the head bearing unit.

Run the WM out on the traveller to a position (critical) out near the end of the bowsprit.

Hoist the sail on it’s wire halyard (it has a rope handling tail) then clip in the handy-billy tensioning tackle , heave that up and cleat that at the mast.

The sail should then deploy by pulling on a sheet although what can happen and frequently did happen is that the furling line either jumped off the drum or over-wrapped and stopped the whole thing working. A couple of times with the jib half-in and half out flogging around my head i had to to a flying drop on the pitching foredeck….not so funny in the conditions i had.

As i say i would probably have been faster and more confident with a flying set and drop especially with a stopped or banded sail.

Looking at the gear closely i think now that it’s an appalling piece of design that could have been made into a much better design years and years ago.  While quite simple it’s obvious that it has a very high possibility of losing the line off the narrow drum and getting itself wrapped around the swivel under the drum…..that is what happened to me several times per hoist.

One time was absolutely maddening :

I was in Ramsgate tied to the visitor pontoon with a big French sailing school yacht just ahead of me.  When i made to leave the skipper kindly came along and asked me if i would like an assist to help me get away.  That was kind because i had to back off into an awkward breeze and then do a reverse and tight turn.  I declined the assist simply because i need to learn how to do it all solo.  Instead i asked the French skipper if he would just ‘watch me out’ in case it all started to go wrong.   The back-off and reverse/turn went ok so i moved off into the outer harbour and came head to wind with the plan to sail smartly out of the harbour.  I had really pre-planned my sail handling moves, got the main up at 2 reefs with just a couple of glitches and then went to deploy the jib so that i could bring the head around.  Of course the furling line jumped the spool and i was left with a half-deployed jib and the boat trying to sail onto the harbour wall.  Instead of a neat bit of solo motor and sail handling it turned into a total farce of having to motor hard to get under control with my mainsheet wrapped around one bit of boat and the jib flogging away rather than pulling me down the fairway.

And of course i had the French sailing school as an audience.

Although completely traditional for this era of boat i feel no great need to stay with kit that is simply crap !, rather i will take from any era of boat technology to make my sail handling simple, safe and effective.  I want to work either from the cockpit or at worst at the mast and not have to try and balance right forward on the bow when i am trying to deploy or furl the jib.  One option as i have described already is to either put the sail in stops or bands and treat it like a spinnaker.  A second option is to look at more modern jib furlers because the tech has improved to such a huge extent with far more boats using sails on furlers….like the big reachers and gennakers on race boats.  I wouldn’t object to having a much better furler and several different headsails….my experience with Inanda so far is that she needs as standard a bigger jib and staysail.

This looks interesting which is why i took a whole series of photographs of it.  This is a powerful looking and very ‘sorted’ looking gaffer called ‘Nomad’ seen in Poole harbour. The rig proportions look much better to begin with, taller mast but with a shorter boom and gaff.  Jib and staysail on modern furlers. Both jib and staysail look longer in the luff. Running backstays and lazy-jacks to keep the mains’l under control.  Obviously it’s a much bigger boat

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So far then….

Inanda’s rig needs several changes to make the sail handling actually work so from forward-aft :

Modern furling unit for the jib/jibs and several different jibs on vectran luffs. Change jib halyard to non-twisty modern line, possibly high-end vectran.  Bring the traveller outhaul back to near the mast and the furler line to near the cockpit.

New long-luff jib with more area.

Sheet doublers to increase the available sheeting power….or a pair of sheet winches.

New staysail on hanks with more area.  Change staysail halyard to 2:1 purchase arrangement.

Mains’l.  Possibly move gooseneck band up mast a couple of inches to improve head clearance at cockpit.  Generally work with 1st reef tied in.  Change throat and peak halyards to better braid on braid and colour-code so that i can always see which is which.  Change all halyard blocks to modern low-friction blocks.    Add lazy jacks port and stbd and lead aft to cockpit.  Change reefing lines.   Replace mainsheet (crusty and worn)

Aft.   Rig running backstays.   Alter sheeting points so that i’m not trying to heave in sheets while leaning over the coaming (bad ergonomics) add 2 pairs of winches : one pair for jib sheets and a pair for running backstays.  Add attachment points aft for runners and rig soft runners from forestay/shrouds point on mast.

Have coffee break….

Sell Wykeham-Martin to some other mug via Ebay……….

  Edit 1.

Ok, lets now design the jib handling system for Inanda

Lets start by getting rid of the outer forestay just like the other Deben at Newhaven has done and keep the bowsprit traveller. Lets add a simple bowsprit downhaul tensioner and have a high-tech bobstay which we can also haul up out of the way to clear the anchor rode.

Instead of the WM lets add in a small Code zero furler with its continuous line going all the way aft.

Instead of the single halyard at hounds height lets have a 2:1 halyard at that height and a second halyard ( 2:1) at the masthead, both with furler swivels already attached. The lower halyard will be the conventional jib halyard and the 2:1 adequate for a decent hoist but not quite good enough for maximum luff tension.  We can now get a longer luffed jib for better balance and better pointing.  To get the tension back we rely on the new running backstays (3:1 + winch) to haul back on the hounds and masthead .  The second, higher,  halyard can now take a bigger overlapping reaching jib or code zero which would also be supported by the top span of a 2 part runner arrangement.

The code zero furler, even a small one, would be a very expensive piece of kit but should be a total solution to headsail furling and crucially get me off the foredeck.  The ability to fly different jibs would be useful, that would mean i could carry a standard jib but which would be longer in the luff than what i have now, and maybe a big reacher.  The stays’l will stay on hanks as that’s the ultimately simple set-up.  Just for giggles i looked at the cost of some of the high-end furlers….crikey !

We need to talk about Martin. Wykeham-Martin that is. I was going to call this post "enter the troll-beast" for the many problems that i consistently had with sailing Inanda for the first time. 

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i was ready for bed and heard the call of weed again - or what i hoped would be weed but instead was 10$ which is probably honestly for the best in the long run. i probably honestly need 10$ more than i needed weed - and they stll smoked me a few joints anyways. 

but it was good to speak to other people. to regain a sense of my surroundings that is not the little bubble of the 5 streets that seperate my house from his. because ive lived in that very protective bubble for atleast several weeks and although its protective, its not a bubble thats for me. i am just like hitching a ride on someone elses bubble and neglecting my real life because it sucks. and its hard. 

it 3am. and i want to like pretend im going to make some fucking plans for tomorrow an do things but i dont know if i will. i know that this is a very weird way to be living right now and i have to excessively apologize for fucking living in a squat house at this point. it doesnt have to be thiissssss bad. this is stupid. but i dont have the energy to make it any better right this second so im just kind of thinking about it - which is super typical for my life. that describes my entire being. 

the way i would describe this week has been like an rpg video game but like.. in a metaphysical world. like i existed in this world while also in another world of my mental being and continually battling shit that was just .. really stupid and unnecessary. this was like a frustrating shittly made rpg. and the first couple of levels are painfully hard where like its just grinding and grinding to be able to do anything. and then once you get to thing you grinded so hard for its lik the most impossible glitched bugged out boss but you already put 80 hours of your life into it so youre going to find that 1 in a million fucking way to beat the boss that for som reason in itself has like  17 side quests you have to complete before you even touch the guy. 

and its like the people aroud me are shitty people watchng a stream of this video game but all they see is my webcam. they dont see the actual game. they just assume what the fuck im doing or how im doing it or if its hard or not and give me vague advice that kind of rings true to the situation but they have no idea whats actually going on anyways. and like everyone in awhile you get this shitty comment about how you suck or you’re a failure and its like you dont even know what the fuck is happening on the other side here right now because im doing pretty well for the circumstances at hand. 

i dont know if im even at the final boss i think im on the 17 side quests. and like i dont have fucking time for this but i also dont not have time for this because its life or death inside of my head right now. you cant walk away from that its very serious and im stuck inside my head. 

being around other people helped. but like i wouldnt have been able to go out and meet these people for a random thing. i wouldnt. but the way it was set up - and that in itself felt like a fucking side quest to make it happen; i felt comfortable and could sit and just observe a conversation and just participate when i felt like it. i didnt sit and moan about my life at all. i was more than capable of having a normal conversation about totally neutral topics and common interests. most of the time i just listened but listening made me feel acknowledged. lke i also existed because this person was telling me someting and to them in that moment i was important because they wanted to tell me this thing. 

because they wer emore acquaintances than true friends i “knew”, i was also able to regain reality by seeing their own display of personal greivances. if i shared mine, they would have been worse. and times in my head i couldnt help but think you know you guys are actually kind of lucky. these things could all be a lot worse. you have a lot going for your life. but this is life. and they have their own set of problems which weigh heavy on them enough to need to air their issues to people they dont actually know very well. and that says something, regardless. they also feel a sense of desperation in expressing something that maybe theyre not even expressing to other people. 

i didnt take that chance with them for myself though. i was very subtle - or i perceived myself being subtle when talking about the issues ive had lately. im also really confused by these issues - the side quests. because i know these are side effects of the drugs and im panicking about very odd things that dont need such a sense of panic but its bringing to the surface the idea of these problems existing at all. like focusing on not having family. i havent had family for awhile. this is not the most pressing issue but it was killing me for hours on end. and like - this takes up way too fucking much of my day. to be sooo panicked about something you cant even do shit about is exhausting. and then like i project these feelings on to him because i want to share something with him - like i dont even know if i want to share a life with him because im crazy and this is crazy and everything is fucked. but i want something with him and being crazy and too fucked to work / find a job is standing in my way. i have nothing to prove im a functioning human. and im barely a functioning human, honestly. like it is very surprising i am 27 now. thats fucked. 

regardless if i do something or not, things are going to change dramatically in my life in the next several weeks. because i am very sure i am going to be evicted. and i probably very much deserve to be evicted. i owe atleast 3000$ point blank in my life with all my debts, which it could be more - and i have no job and ive spent weeks trying to “get better”. thats terrible. i absolutely deserve to be evicted. i am already homeless and i live like a homeless person squatting in a random apartment i got lucky to find. like this is fucking nuts the way im living right now. and people are witnessing it. they literally have witnessed this and thats pretty embarassing. 

again in my head im like oh yeah im going to get up tomorrow and just go out and look for work. but i havent showered in three days. or eaten anything substantial - out of catatonic fatigue and general lack of care - and ive pretty much allowed the cats to piss on everything i own so i have no clean clothes or underwear. i just let everything around me go to complete shit 

and its funny because i naturally wanted to solve my issues with weed. like a fucking power up to get through the worst of it and i went through fucking everything and everyone to do it. with no fucking money. i made money and still got weed. thats how fucking well i did that. 

and yet.. here i am. this is ... like im the weirdest craziest person to be around. i really think i have to be like pretty up there in craziness. like the perception people must have of me ... if its even a ‘perception’ since its probably the reality but im like .. crazy bitch over here. i cant even imagine knowing me. i cannot even put myself outside of myself and imagine knowing me as a person. i would be a super frustating person to witness in life. i am really .. i dont know. ive existed on fucking nothing. like how did i even do that. why would he even be around me for this long outside of his own craziness. like why the fuck would you even love me. its not even a self pity thing im generally like ... appreciative that i am being loved but wow why would you. i really offer... being a nice person. thats what i got in life. i am a nice person who is creative and like fairly well read & intelligent with an assortment of domestic skills none of which are really top notch but they get you through. other than that i got nothing. i got debt. i got shitty cats that even im like these are probably our last days together. i have good looks which is probably why im honestly getting by in life and have gotten by so far. and that honestly is not even something to gloat on because its not like im super fucking hot. im just a good looking person. like slightly above average. i have a pretty nice body as well but i dont keep in shape in anyway and am frequently malnutritoned. ive also completely scarred probably 70% of my body which is very obviously done by me. so thats always fun when youre about to fuck someone for the first time. and i mean.. im not even that into sex. ive been called a tease more than once because i allowed my good looks to give me what people were offering me when i knew it was because of my looks. i wanted something, but i wasnt interested in them. 

i have no formal education and dropped out in early highschool - like very early. i dont drive. i dont have a car ad defiinitely could not afford one. i dont even have a bike. i cant afford public transit most of the time. im a nice person, you know. i’m caring, sometimes to a fault. i have potential to give a very serious kind of love to the right people. but thats it. thats what i have to offer a person in a relationship with me. thats what i have to offer in a life with me. i mean, i dont even have real interests. i watch documentaries. thats honest to god my biggest interest and has been for months. its like a fucking hobby in some ways. i watch guys playing video games on youtube - a lot. i dont even play video games. i honestly dont know why im fucking watching it. this is totally unnecessary and ive done it openly and just fallen asleep peacefully. why? thats so weird. thats such a weird thing to do. i smoke, alot. i smoke a ton of weed. thats one of my worst qualities. i cost a lot of money and make .. none. the amount of money ive cost other people is probably in the thousands and that was out of kindness. just so i could exist. but i know it does help me. it helps me cope and to leave it behind with no coping skills is really unhelpful to my life. 

so where do i start? probably by going to sleep. waking up at some decent hour - its almost 4 now so i hope for 10, but this is just spewing dreams in alot of ways. i could wake up and continue to lay in bed for hours. somethng simple like stretching - which i honestly really need after this anyways. taking a shower. trying to clean my house. find money, just.. keep finding money and money resources. thats the best i can fathom right now. i want to say ill find a job but thats so complex of a hurdle i just .. i can successfully find money in trade for simple labor. not a job. fucking.. eat food. i have food. i literally have food to eat. i just need to get back ... i dont know. somewhere. back in myself. 

tommorow will be the beginning of the final battle right now. there will be more battles, more shitty rpg games, but this battle will be finished soon and im getting back to real life. real fucking life.