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Feelings are complicated, aren't they?
Pairing: Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Word Count: 2107
Rating: Teens and Up
Tags: Sexuality Crisis, Internalized Homophobia, Pining
Beta: @useless-fanfictions helped me out a lot on this fic, especially since I'm just starting out writing, so a big thanks to them!
Summary: Walking next to Brittany felt normal and right, but at that moment it felt slightly wrong. A bunch of questions were running through her mind. Was she acting differently? Was it obvious that something was off? Oh god, does everyone think that she’s gay?
Or, the one where Santana realizes she might have feelings for Brittany and panics over it.
Read it on Ao3
For the Glee Character "This-or-That" Challenge: @gleethisorthatchallenge
Prompt: Sharing a bed or Sexuality Crisis
The way Santana feels around Brittany is normal, right? Sure, she’s never felt it for any other person—not even any of her previous boyfriends—but it’s a completely normal feeling. And yeah, okay, she also defends Brittany all the time when people insult or make fun of her, and when Brittany sticks up for her and is always by her side, she can never stop smiling. She always feels warm whenever she compliments her about literally anything that she’s wearing, or how her hair looks that day, or really anything that makes Santana feel pretty.
There’s also the fact that they have sex regularly even though they’re in relationships with guys who would willingly have sex with them as well, but that’s different. It must be different, because if it’s not—
No, it’s not an option for it to not be anything but platonic. It’s got to be, it just has to be.
Even though Santana hates when people flirt with Brittany and will usually try to scare them off when others aren’t looking. Or when they get into fights or arguments, big or small, she feels like shit when she can’t talk to Brittany, and then that means they can’t have their sweet lady kisses that make Santana feel like they are the only two people left on the entire planet.
Feelings are complicated, aren’t they?
As long as she always stands her ground, keeping their relationship just friends, and convincing Brittany—and a little bit of herself—that even though they’re in relationships they can have sex and it’s not cheating because they’re both girls, she will be fine. She just has to keep telling herself that their relationship isn’t anything, that they’re strictly friends and that she doesn’t have feelings for her best friend, because if she did then she wouldn’t know what she would do with herself.
She’s not homophobic, and just because Kurt freaking Hummel struts around with his gay flag waving in the air doesn’t mean that everyone can or has to. And even if they do, they’ll get bullied and harassed, just like him. It’s the way that everything goes, the straight popular kids are on top, and the gays are at the bottom, even though that’s ridiculous, it’s the way it goes.
She’ll just keep it to herself—even though there’s nothing there, obviously—and everything will be fine. She hopes that if she keeps telling herself that then maybe it will be.
***
Of course, that’s not what happens. The following Monday, after the weekend Santana had realized that something is different, it seemed like everyone has been staring at the two of them differently, but it might just be her paranoia talking.
Walking next to Brittany felt normal and right, but at that moment it felt slightly wrong. A bunch of questions were running through her mind. Was she acting differently? Was it obvious that something was off? Oh god, does everyone think that she’s gay? She is suddenly on the defensive side, glaring at the people who she thought were looking at her and Brittany weirdly. Maybe people always looked at them this way and neither of them ever noticed or cared; except now she did.
She knows the route they take to get to their next classes by heart because they always walk together, even though their schedules don’t really line up. Most people think that all the Cheerios just walk to class together in groups because the outfits look good together—which they do, she thinks conceitedly—and because of the cheerleading cliques. For a while that’s why Quinn, Brittany, and Santana would walk together, but then they actually got kind of close because of Glee Club, and now Quinn walks with Finn to her classes and Santana walks with Brittany.
During her fourth period that she has alone she can’t stop thinking about Brittany. How when she walks to class she hugs her binder to her chest, or how during class she always fidgets with her pencil when she’s in between writing, or how even if she doesn’t care about what people are talking about, she’ll listen to them anyway (like this one time a few days ago when they had arrived early to glee club and Rachel had come up to Brittany and her to ask for dance lessons, going on and on about something that had to do with her being a star and needing to know how to dance better, and Santana had only been paying attention to Brittany and ignored Rachel’s harping), Santana admires the way Brittany exists, and how it seems like nothing really bothers her. She doesn’t know why all of the sudden it’s hitting her, especially since she’s been friends with her for so long, and no, she doesn’t have feelings for her, they’re just friends.
***
They walk to their usual seats during lunch together, every now and again bumping shoulders with how close they are while they’re talking. Santana sits down across from Brittany, as she doesn’t miss a beat from what she’s saying to sit down.
“And I swear that Lord Tubbington has a gambling addiction, but he won’t stop—” she takes a bite of her food, “—and I don’t know what to do.”
“Why don’t you just take away his laptop privileges?” Santana suggests, also taking a bite of her own food. It’s not bad, however, it’s not good. Then again, it’s the school’s food. When she looks up at Brittany, she looks quizzical, like she hasn’t thought of doing that.
“That probably would work,” Brittany responds, and continues eating.
Santana’s focused on something else. That something else is Brittany’s physical appearance, everything about her: to her flashing smile, to her thin and perfect eyebrows. her slim waist, long legs, and her torso—which she shouldn’t be staring at in the middle of school, and yet she is. She is stunning to Santana, with her lean appearance and bright golden colored hair pulled perfectly back into a ponytail. Her blue eyes seem to twinkle all the time.
“Santana?” Brittany asks after she’s been staring for a moment or two.
“Huh, what? Sorry, I was just, thinking,” she responds quickly and looks away to other tables where other kids are sitting, she lets go of her lip that she must have been biting on.
“About what?” Brittany takes another bite of her food, almost finished, whereas Santana has barely touched hers.
“Nothing important,” she mumbles, taking a drink from her water bottle. The answer seems to satisfy Brittany and they go back to normal and easy conversation like Santana hadn’t been just staring at her best friend’s boobs.
***
Glee Club isn’t that different. Rachel and Mercedes are fighting for a solo that Mr. Schue handed out, he doesn’t know how to handle it, and so they’re trying to argue over one another. Finn, Puck, Matt, and Mike are making bets about something in football. Kurt, Tina, and Artie are talking about something—she can’t hear their conversation, and honestly doesn’t care—and so it’s Quinn, Brittany and her talking about the Cheerios like they always are.
“Sue’s been on our asses about winning at Nationals,” Quinn comments as she sits down next to Brittany.
“She’s just concerned about staying on top,” Santana remarks, looking around the choir room. She looks up at the two who are arguing over one another and laughs a little bit. Everyone knows that Rachel’s going to get the solo, she usually does. Mercedes probably knows that, too, and yet she’s still going to fight for it.
“And her paycheck,” Quinn adds.
Eventually Mr. Schue stood in front of the class, apparently they had sorted it out where Rachel got this solo and Mercedes would get the next one.
This Glee practice they were going to focus on their choreography added with singing, and it wasn’t that big of an issue for the three cheerleaders (and it was mostly for the jocks to practice anyway, since they were the ones having problems, other than Mike, surprisingly).
Afterwards everyone was tired and sore, they had to start over a bunch of times because someone kept messing up (Finn). Slowly the choir room emptied, and Brittany and Santana walked to their next class together. They were going to walk with Quinn, but she had muttered something about a “troll trying to steal her boyfriend” and went off to walk with Finn. They separated at their different classrooms, and the three of them were going to meet up for Cheerios practice that was after school, which was their usual plan.
***
After practice Santana was even more exhausted than when she left Glee rehearsal. She grabs her water bottle that she had placed in her locker when she first got there. She gulps down a quarter of the bottle before putting it back.
There are many girls around her, yet the only one she’s focused on is Brittany.
Ever since they walked into the locker room, Brittany, and another cheerleader—Hailey was her name—were talking nonstop to one another. It’s not like Santana was eavesdropping, but it’s not her fault they were standing so close and speaking so God damn loudly.
“One time she made a girl cry just because she talked back,” Hailey continues while she brushes her hair in the mirror.
“I know, I was there,” Brittany responds, leaning up against the lockers next to Hailey’s that no one’s using. “Sue can be a bitch sometimes.”
Hailey wraps her hair in a ponytail and starts to put the hair tie around it. “Don’t let her hear you say that she might move you down the pyramid,” she jokes, which gets a laugh out of Brittany. “However, she is the best cheerleading coach McKinley can offer, so I guess we’ll have to put up with it,” Hailey states.
They all know that that’s true, no other teacher will coach the Cheerios, and she’s the only one that’s gotten them to Nationals and gets a pretty big paycheck put towards the cheerleading team.
And listen, Santana doesn’t do jealous, okay? And she’s not. She just doesn’t like Brittany hanging out with another person so closely. And it’s because no one understands her like Santana does is all. And sure, Brittany has other friends, but usually they go through Santana to talk to her, so she knows them, or they’re all in the conversation. This is an entire new person, and they’re jokingtogether, which Brittany can do on her own, of course, but-
“Stop pining and either go talk with them or leave already,” Quinn mutters behind her.
Santana whips around and glares at her, and Quinn smirks.
“Oh, come on, don’t think I didn’t notice.” She walks past Santana to get to her locker, and Santana decides to do what Quinn suggested.
She grabs her water bottle from her locker and makes sure all of her things are put away before she leaves to head home.
***
She can’t be in love with her best friend, right? Sure, she and Brittany are close, and they do practically everything together, and Santana loves everything about Brittany, but that doesn’t mean she’s in love with Brittany.
Those thoughts are how Santana finds herself pacing in her room, not for the first time in the last few days, lost in thought. She looks over at the photos that she has on her walls of all of the Cheerios, but there are a few of either her, Brittany, and Quinn, or just the two of them.
She walks over and picks one up to look at it. She gets the same feeling that she’s been getting every time she thinks about Brittany, yet she’s been ignoring it for a while now. Except this time, she doesn’t. She feels butterflies in her stomach and doesn’t even realize she is smiling at Brittany’s picture. She sets down the photo when she does catch herself, and goes to lay down on her bed.
Even if she was gay, how would she know? Would having feelings that aren’t actually feelings enough to be considered gay? And what would everyone else think? Maybe she should turn to the internet, she thinks. She sits up and grabs her laptop that she keeps on her bedside table and loads it up.
A few searches later she realizes that maybe terms like bisexual or even lesbian fit her. Some more questions pop up in her head after that realization, but at least one thing’s certain.
Santana is in love with her best friend, and she has no idea what she’s going to do about it.
#gleecharactertot2021#gleetotchallenge2021#glee#santana lopez#brittany pierce#brittana#sexuality crisis#elliry writes#uefnajnfvedhbfhrsyuhebgveahj
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Untitled Kurtbastian Fic Glee TOT Challenge FanFiction
It’s Just A Fork Glee TOT Challenge FanFiction
@celery-elliry @useless-fanfictions @gleethisorthatchallenge
Hi everyone, this is my sixth and finial fic for the Glee TOT Challenge and the prompt I choose was Shower Sex because I’m bad at smut and this seemed like the easier option lol. Hope everyone enjoys and tells me what they thought of it etheir on here, A03 OR FanFiction.Net. Happy reading 🤗🤗😁😁
Archive Of Our Own
FanFiction.Net
Kurt slowly opened his eyes before sitting up in his bed. He looked over to his side to see Sebastian, sprawled messily on his side with his arm now taking up space on Kurt's side. He playfully rolled his eyes at the sight and shook his head before bending over and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. He got a grunted response from his husband before he stood up and made his way to the bathroom.
He had a lot to do that day. At 7 he had a meeting with his team of designers to go over the pieces they needed for the benefit he was planning and that was planned to take 5 hours, then at 1 he had another meeting with the group of people that were sponsoring his benefit and that was planned to take 2 hours, then at 5 he had a meeting with the construction company to go over the design for the new space in his office and that was planned to take 1 hour and finally at 8 he had a meeting with the interns to go over his inventory stock so they could order new supplies and who knew how long that was going to take.
Working from home was hard but it had its perks. Like the fact that he got to spend the whole day with his husband while they worked side by side, The only downside was that Sebastian never wanted to work. He was like a little kid that would refuse to go to school. Did he eventually go through the plies of contracts he had on his desk? Yes. Did he eventually get up so he could go to that meeting with his client? Yes. But did he go down without a fight? No.
But nevertheless, when there was work to be done, Kurt got it done. He loved being a designer and he loved being his own boss. He usually got to pick his hours and it was something he loved doing and was good at. People loved his designs. He had designed hundreds of pieces for all kinds of celebrities. Designs for Broadway productions, benefits, red carpets, you name it and he’ll have done it. Kurt Hummel Smythe was becoming a household name.
He was also proud of Sebastian, who was on his way to becoming the best lawyer in all of New York. His team had a winning streak of cases won and he had lines of clients waiting for him to take their case. They made a great team together and were hard workers. Some of them got lazy though.
Kurt got ready, taking a shower, getting dressed, brushing his teeth, fixing his hair, doing his skincare routine and then taking a final look at himself before being satisfied. After he was ready he went back into his bedroom to find that Sebastian was still asleep and was now taking up both sides of the bed.
“Sebastian,” Kurt said, going over to him and gently shaking him. “Get up,”
“What?” Sebastian mumbled, lifting his head up slightly just to flop it back down on his pillow.
“I said get up,” Kurt repeated. “It’s 6:30, don’t you have a meeting?”
“No,” Sebastian said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Client cancelled. Family emergency or something like that. It got rescheduled to next week,”
“Lucky you,” Kurt said. “Well still, you can’t lay around in bed all day,”
“Yeah I can. I don’t have any other work to do today and I’m tired. You could use a break too,”
“Not with everything I have to do today,” Kurt laughed.
“Just cancel it babe. Come on, wouldn’t it be nice just to have a day to ourselves? I feel like I never see you anymore,”
“How needy are you? We’re literally stuck together in the same house,”
“Yeah but we’re always working. I want to have fun. Come back to bed with me. Please?” Sebastian asked, pulling Kurt back into the bed and wrapping his arms around him so he couldn’t get back up.
“Seb,” Kurt said, laughing when he started kissing his neck. “Stop it, I don’t have time for this,”
“But I love you,” Sebastian pouted.
“And I love you too but I have stuff to do,” Kurt said, finally wiggling free from his grasp and straightening himself out,”
“Fine then,” Sebastian huffed, crossing his arms in front of him. “Go on then, since you’re obviously too busy for me, go do whatever it is you have to do,”
“You’re funny,” Kurt told him. “Come on, don’t be mad. You look like a child and frowning causes wrinkles,”
“I’m not funny, I’m serious,” He whined.
“Whatever, just try and take a bath at least,”
“Fine,”
“I love you,”
“Do you though? It’s obvious that you don’t have enough time for me,”
“You see, I know that you’re joking and that you aren’t actually telling me to take the day off when I have several meetings to go to today, right?”
“Wrong, that’s exactly what I’m telling you to do,”
“Well it’s not happening”
“Well then I don’t care,” Sebastian said before laying back down and pulling the blankets over his head.
Kurt just shook his head once again before leaving the room to go to his office and get ready for his meeting. He knew that Sebastian would eventually get over it, he always did, but Kurt just found it funny that he was acting so immature. But he couldn’t take the day off, no matter how much he wanted to, with all the stuff he had planned. Sebastian would just have to come to understand that.
After he was done with all the work he had had that day, Kurt was exhausted. All he wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed… but there was still one thing that he had to do. When he walked into the living room there was Sebastian sitting on the couch, watching TV and ignoring him when he sat down on the couch beside him.
“Seb?” Kurt asked him, getting his attention.
“Finally remembered me, have you?” Sebastian asked in return, raising his eyebrows at him.
“I never forgot about you honey,”
“Yeah well, you were obviously too busy for me earlier and you left me the whole day without you, I was bored out of my mind. I’ll never forgive you,”
“Is that so?”
“Yes,”
“Well then,” Kurt sighed dramatically. “I guess I’ll just have to take a shower all by my lonesome,”
“What?” Sebastian asked, perking up.
“Oh yeah well I was thinking that we could have some fun together while I get ready for bed,” Kurt thought out loud. “But I guess since you’re so mad at me…”
“What, no I’m not mad,” Sebastian corrected him. “I’m not mad at all,”
“Well come on,” Kurt said, taking Sebastian’s hand and standing up. “Let’s have some fun,”
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Next prompt: Moving in Together or Soulmate AU
My choice: Moving in Together. Moodboard of Rachel and Jesse’s first apartment in NYC.
My design choices:
Living room with a piano: Because that’s how they met, while singing “Hello” at the piano.
Gold trophy case: All of those show choir trophies have to go somewhere
Piano sign reads: “When words fail, music speaks.” Could basically be the theme of Glee.
Bedroom: Sign says, “You and me. We’ve got this.” I think the all-white and the sign suits Rachel’s and Jesse’s drive.
Kitchen: All the colors reminded me of Rachel’s bedroom, and while I think two Broadway stars would live in a very sleek, minimalistic apartment, I believe Rachel would add some color somewhere. And it’s appropriate for someone who made “I’m sorry” cookies.
@celery-elliry @useless-fanfictions
#glee#rachel berry#jesse st james#Rachel berry x Jesse st James#gleetotchallenge2021#gleecharactertot2021#first apartment#nyc#haven’t had time to write anything#Moodboard#maybe next time I’ll write
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First submission to the Glee This or That Challenge. Dramatic Sickfic or Bad First Kiss.
My choice: Dramatic Sickfic
Rachel huffed back into her apartment and marched toward her bedroom. She couldn’t believe her voice was neglecting her again, giving her a bout with laryngitis two weeks before her first Funny Girl audition.
“Hey,” Kurt looked up from his tea. “You didn’t even say hello when you came in today.”
“I have laryngitis, you idiot,” Rachel wrote on a piece of paper. “I am hereby taking a vow of silence until I’ve recovered. I was born to play Fanny and I am going to protect my voice at all costs.”
“Well, OK then,” Kurt shook his head. “I hope you feel better soon, though.” She gave him a disappointed look, angry that once again she had horrible timing with illnesses.
Rachel immediately started flipping through Pinterest looking for various regimens to cure her laryngitis. Today she wasn’t in the mood to look at apartment decorations or cookie decorating ideas. She needed to get better as quickly as possible.
She didn’t have to browse long before seeing the answer to her prayers:
2 tablespoons of lemon juice
2 tablespoons of honey
2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
A dash of cinnamon
Mix with hot water
She sat up in bed, her eyes squarely focused on a drawing of a Tony award that she had put next to the Grammy drawing she’d had since high school. Then, she grabbed her coat, and without saying another word to Kurt, she headed off to the bodega to get the ingredients that would guarantee her the role of Fanny.
@useless-fanfictions @celery-elliry
#gleecharactertot2021#gleetotchallenge2021#glee fanfiction#rachel berry#kurt hummel#sickfic#moodboard
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aaaaa our challenge is up and running! check it out if you're interested, and please reblog so it can get boosted!!
Glee Character “This-or-That” Challenge!
Rules - FAQs - Schedule - Sign Ups - Cards
Welcome besties… we got about four people who seemed interested enough so here we are! This is the first year for our Glee Character “This-or-That” Challenge! Mods are @celery-elliry and @useless-fanfictions.
We are opening this challenge up to anyone who is interested! Please, reblog our posts to get the word out there further!! We are accepting fanfiction, moodboards, gifsets, fanart, or any other content form!!
SIGN UPS ARE OPEN!!
The point of the challenge is make you choose between two prompts, and we are so interested in why you choose one over the other (or both, with is an option) so please tell us your reasonings for each choice! 😁😍
When you post your prompt fills, make sure to @ this blog or tag your creations with #GleeCharacterTOT2021 or #GleeTOTChallenge2021 (tagging either of the mods is also acceptable, @celery-elliry and @useless-fanfictions). If you are posting on Ao3, please add it to our GleeCharacterTOTChallenge2021 Collection as well!
Follow the links for more information!
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