#glad to hear you're also vibing with me lol

[the-owl-tree]

Noticed your tags apologizing to people who follow you for WC, and I know it was probably in jest, but genuinely your a genreal xenofiction blogger to me. And it's great!! More people should get into xenofiction besides WC and Watership Down!! I love seeing your takes on different media, even non-warriors ones!!

Aaaah thank you!! This is such a lovely message!!!!

[midnight-mourning]

Better Strangers. (Unless?)

Well it took a bit more time than I expected, wonder why THAT is (side eyes the wizard that put a curse on me, currently tied up in the corner) but it's here now, so I hope you enjoy! She's long, and I had to cut some stuff because it wasn't working, but such is life

If you've never read Confused Spirit, this will make a lot less since to you lol, so I recommend reading it first (though it's not a requirement). Again, this bad boy is canon to the story, but will never be directly mentioned in it

Word count: 7500

Song rec: Tommy's Party - Peach Pit (ignore the lyrics, it's the vibes that matter here)

Also posted on Ao3 if you prefer reading that way.

Content warning: Mentions of self-depreciation, self-gaslighting, depression, bits of yelling, etc. Small bits of using alcohol as a coping mechanism. Additionally, if you've never experienced what it's like to be anxious-drunk, you're in for it. Reader discretion is advised

☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙

"Okay, money's on the counter, Lisa needs to do her math homework before cartoons, and if you could do some flashcard practice with Gabe that would be super great but no worries if not, okay bye!" You say in a rush before opening and closing the front door. 

You lean back against it briefly, take a deep breath, and force yourself to march over to your car. 

It's your least favorite day of the quarter, second only to your least favorite day of the semester.

Parent-Teacher Conferences.

Comparable to Report-Review day at work, or tax season. The reason it was your second least favorite was because the other Parent-Teacher Conference day usually landed on a Friday, meaning you had one more night of the week you had to go out. 

This one was just a bit more bearable in that yeah, you had work afterward, but at least you could use all of tomorrow evening to recharge. And you certainly intended to. 

The school parking lot is filled with parents coming and going, chatting with those they know. You briefly greet anyone who says hello, but keep on your way, you want this to be quick, you've only got an hour or so before your late shift.

The meeting goes about how you'd expect, Lisa's the perfect little angel at school, it's just with you that she's a complete and utter menace. You'd considered the evening to likely being end on a high note based on this, but you'd be wrong. 

Very wrong. 

It's as you're walking out that you run into what would be your catalyst. 

"Oh, funny seeing you here, dear!" Helen says as she approaches. 

Inside you're saying every swear you can think of, outwardly you smile, "Hi Helen. It's parent-teacher night, of course I'd be here."

"I know, I know, merely joking." 

You stand there, awkward, head nodding once, "Well if that's all then I'll be on my way then-"

"Well it's just, how do I put this," She tutters, shaking her head, "I can't imagine what your meeting must've been like. And I won't speculate of course, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you, is all."

Your brows furrow briefly, but you try to remain neutral. Chill, you're chill. You can kick Helen's ass in a fight if you wanted, it's fine. 

"The meeting went well, actually. Lisa's a good kid, I only stopped by because Mrs. Isley's been wanting brag on her in person."

This doesn't deter Helen, which you'd been, actually you can never tell what to expect with her. Doesn't matter, she keeps that sad look on her face, hand coming to rest on your shoulder, "Well, I wasn't sure if she was aware of the tumultuous situation with your family is all. It sounds like something that would greatly be affecting Lisa's performance. But I'm so glad to hear that's not the case."

"What, what do you mean?"

"Well, I ran into your aunt, Hannah's her name, right?" Helen tsks, "She told me all about your situation. Just awful to listen to, you know."

It occurs to you to glance over to where Helen came from, her typical group of parents she gossiped with. They're looking at you now, that same, bullshit look on their face. And you can just catch some of the things they say. 

"To think someone like that's taking care of Lisa."

"I know, could you imagine, being so cruel to your family?"

"Typical twenty something, has no regard for anyone but themself."

"It is selfish, isn't it? Their parents would be ashamed."

You freeze then, something in you shutting down. You don't know what to say, how to react, how to even, think, for a moment. 

This is possibly one of the worst case scenarios you could ever imagine. Helen knows an exceeding amount of information about you that you've done your best to hide for the sake of your siblings. Stuff that would otherwise be harmless, where you work, where Lisa goes to school, what daycare you use, etc. But could be incredibly dangerous when the wrong person find out about it. And at this point, you have no idea one way or the other if they have. 

Has Rick's family tried shit in the past? Of course. Have they ever taken it that far? Debatable. You'd done your best to keep your personal life unknown to them for a reason however. But did you really know what their limits were? You had absolutely no clue.

And that terrifies you.

And it's your fault in the first place.

"Are you alright?" Helen asks, in a tone that is so fake you swear you can taste plastic. 

You snap out of it. Not here, not now. Instead, you beam, "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

This throws her for a loop finally, "I, well I-"

"I appreciate all the concern, Helen, really, I do. But we're doing just fine," Your hand pats the one of your shoulder and she flinches back. Ironic, you know. 

You laugh, it's loud and fake as hell but it does what you need it to, "I don't know what you've been told, but let me assure you, there's a reason we're not on great terms. Didn't file that police report for nothing!"

At this, people start to turn towards you both, muttering quietly. Usually, such a thing would embarrass you. But you're channeling your rage to smother your panic. Your shame.

Hannah and the rest of Rick's family lives on the complete other side of the city. Helen would have had to go out of her way to manage to run into any one of them. And it sounds like she had. 

If you had to guess, it was probably incidental, you have no social media, they all do. All it would take is a bit of profile browsing to find the connection and if she ever came across any of them, could easily strike up a conversation. Still crazy, but slightly less crazy than other options.

"Is everything okay over here?" Looking to your side you see Mrs. Isley, glare on her face, pointed toward Helen, before sharing a concerned look briefly with you. 

You nod, "We're just fine, but I do have to get going now. Thanks for the, words of encouragement, Helen."

Her face has grown red, and can't even muster a response. Satisfied, you lean in as you pass her by, voice low, but still loud enough for the teacher behind you to overhear, "Hope you got what you wanted from that. Because next time, I won't be so nice and just say outright how the PTA president goes out of her way to find someone's toxic family members and delve into their personal life for no damn good reason."

You give her a rough pat on the back, and march out of there. Behind you, you can hear Mrs. Isley start to lay into the soccer mom who had so much free time on her hands to try and upset the 23 year old who, apparently, must be doing a better job at parenting than she was, as that what the only explanation you could come up with for her vendetta against you.

Once you make it out of the building is when you allow the facade to start to break down. You're panicked, you're freaking out. You're trying to determine if you're going to have to switch school districts now or what. You really don't want to uproot Lisa because of a mistake you made, which was believing that Helen Chase would mind her own damn business and-

Someone is calling after you. You look up from unlocking your car to see it's Mrs. Isley. 

You raise a hand as she makes it over to you, out of breath, "It's fine, Aubrey. Just the typical bs. I'm okay."

"I'm sure you are," She says, pointing back to the school and shaking her head, "But that, was unacceptable behavior on her part and I am not going to let it fly by, rest assured. She's the head of the PTA, she's well aware of the school's 'no-contact list'."

"I-"

She raises her hand now, "No. Not this time. I get it, you don't want to make waves. But this was too far, and it's not fair to you in any which way to just leave it lie. She will be reprimanded, and if anything happens because of it," She shakes her head, "Well, I'm not going to let it."

"Thanks," You manage to choke out. The stress and relief both getting to you in that moment, due in large part to her firmness on the matter. 

The teacher hugs you then, squeezing tight, "We have rules in place for this kind of stuff. And I'm sure once her husband hears wind of this he'll do his best to make sure nothing comes of it," She pulls back, hands on your cheeks, "Okay?"

You nod, hoping she can't see the tears pricking your eyes, "Okay."

Aubrey lets you go, "You're sure you're fine?"

"Yeah," You shake your head, "Just the words of someone who doesn't know how to mind their own business. I've had worse."

She nods, "Alright. Have a good night, and be safe."

You say goodbye and she walks off. You have to grip your wrist with your free hand to keep the one that's shaking steady enough to grab the door handle. 

You drive in silence to the Plex, both hands tight on the wheel. 

You're not going to let it get to you, you're not going to let it get to you, you know she's wrong, she's always wrong, she's just an asshole and you know that you're doing your best, you're doing great! Lisa's proof of that, Gabe's proof of that. You're fighting and you're trying, you're trying, you're trying-

The doors to the Daycare shut behind you, interrupting your thoughts. 

Adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you look around for your beanbag, finding it absent. 

"What are you doing here?"

You turn, finding Sun cleaning up art supplies across the room. 

You shake your head, "Not in the mood for this tonight, Sun. If you didn't want me around you could've just said so."

His rays flick back and forth, "What are you talking about?"

"Uh, my beanbag?" You nod to the empty spot, not ignoring the confusion he also displays, "Not the end of the world, really, but still."

He just stares over at you. 

Then, "Bright Eyes, it's Friday."

Shit. It is Friday. You'd lost two days. Too caught up in work and stress and so on, to the point you'd hired Clara for the night and hadn't even realized. Not that it was her fault, she had no reason to question your foolishness. Your fault. Your mistake. Your fuck up. 

Like always.

"I, right, yeah."

"Now, as much as I'd be thrilled to continue to entertain you, I have a preparations to be making," He walks over and starts to guide you, not gently, towards the door, "You understand I'm sure."

You shrug him off, embarrassed, not helping your already growing negative feelings and thoughts, "Yeah, I got it. Night."

You walk out, a bit aimless now. You're frustrated, you're upset, and you really, really, are feeling a bit shitty. There's tears pricking your eyes again, and honestly, you don't know what you need right now to fix it.

"Boss? What are you doing here?"

You turn, "Pete? It's eight o' clock on a Friday, why aren't you home?"

He puts both hands on his chest, "I'm here for my best buddy Jacob's birthday. See the hat," He points to his head, where indeed, he's wearing a party hat, "Did you want to join?"

"I, you know what? Yeah. I would."

"Great! Come on," He slings an arm around your shoulder, changing your direction to the West Arcade, "Some of the gang's upstairs. Savannah was busy, and Jesse's out of town, like a loser, but you'll know most everyone I think."

"You're not going to question me anymore?" You ask. 

He shrugs, "Well no, not my business what you get up to. Unless you want it to be?"

You shake your head instantly, you didn't need to embarrass yourself by telling your coworker you let a middle-aged woman's words make you cry.

He nods, looking forward again, "Besides, you looked like you needed a distraction. For a bit anyway."

"Thanks, Petey," You sigh, "I do."

The atmosphere inside the West Arcade hits you instantly as you walk inside. 

People are chatting, dancing, drinking and making fools of themselves, what you'd typically expect from a Plex party. Or really, any party with a bunch of burnt out twenty-somethings. 

You meet up with Liv and Tyler, and are given a party hat and a drink shortly thereafter. 

You stare down at it for a moment, briefly, and check the time, you have Clara until 11:30, you can have one and sober up in time. 

You say the same thing after the second, and after the third argue that you can just, pick up your car tomorrow, grab an Uber. 

After, drink four, you take the time to sober up for just a moment, which ends up being a mistake. Because now you're alone with your thoughts, and after the night you've had, that's the worst place for you to be. 

The words said to you by a bunch of women in their 40s should not upset you like this, they're the ones choosing to pick on someone half their age. Sure, maybe they weren't wrong but that didn't, that didn't give them the right to talk like that, right? 

You weren't just thinking about yourself, right?

They wouldn't be disappointed in you for not trying to make ammends.

Right?

Fuck, you really should sober up, sober up and go home. 

"Hey, you alright?"

Liv's sitting next to you now. You give a practiced smile, "Just need a little more water. I'll be fine."

"You're sure?" She waves over the bartender to get you another water and order another drink for herself.

You nod, "Positive. If I wasn't I wouldn't be here."

Lying through your teeth is somehow so much easier when you're drunk. 

You drink another water, and don't feel any better. You just feel more, aware. Aware of how you don't fit in, how you're here because Pete took pity on you, how awful of a friend, a sibling, a daughter, a partner- No, not that last one, we're not getting into that mess tonight. 

Has it really been that long since the last time you drank this much? You check the time, it's been an hour or two. You still had time. Fuck it, have another drink and try to have some fun. Something's gotta distract you from this feeling eventually, right? 

When you check the clock again and realize it's 10:40, and it'll take at least twenty for an Uber to get here, you fumble for your phone and call Clara.

"Hey, I'm uh, gonna be home a bit later, is that okay?" You ask against the loudness of the room. You should have went outside instead of going to the quietest corner you could find, but you're kind of losing your logic. 

You have to strain to hear her response, "Yeah, not an issue, I'm mid breath of the wild playthrough so time has no meaning to me."

"You've got breath of the wild? Jealous," Focus, you need to focus so you don't sound stupid, "Anyway, I'm guessing another hour or so, and if it gets too late you can stay over so you're not driving home so late."

"As long as you don't mind me gaming in the living room into the late hours of the night that's cool with me. What are you up to out of curiosity?"

You swallow, "Birthday party."

"Oh, Jacob's yeah? Savannah told me about it but since I was busy I couldn't swing by."

"Oh?" Why does that make you feel bad? Why do you feel so excluded now? That your coworker's sister got an invite and you didn't? Or did you get an invite and you forgot? Why do you care? You're not friends with Jacob. You’re not friends with these people out of work, really. Right?

"-speaking class."

You don't know what she just said, "Gotcha, gotcha. Well, I'll see you later tonight then."

"You got a ride?" You can just make out her button-mashing, followed by a sigh, "Sorry, if you've been drinking I mean."

"Yeah, I'll be good. Thanks."

After hanging up, you just stare down at your drink, then out to the dancefloor. You see everyone having such a great time, so why can't you? Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you just let yourself be happy? What does it take to make you relax and just, chill the hell out? 

You haven't relaxed in months you realize. Not after what happened that night. Ironically, at the last Plex party you attended. If anything, you think being here, doing this, has just made everything that much worse. 

You need to get out of here. You need to go somewhere else, do something else, be someone else. 

Too bad you can't make that last one happen.

You finish your drink, and after a small head rush, walk over to where your friends? coworkers? are and say your goodbyes over the music. 

"Hey, it was really good seeing you tonight!" Pete says, then nods to where Jacob's at on the dancefloor, "Jacob appreciated it for sure."

He's lying. He's just being nice because you're his boss. 

Liv gives you a quick hug, "We should hang out outside of work more often. Maybe somewhere a bit more quiet."

She doesn't mean that. She's pitying you. 

"Yeah, that'd be great!" You smile. 

Tyler raises his fist and you bump it, "See you Monday, broski. Stay safe out there."

"Can do, have a good night guys."

"See you!" And "Be safe!" are shouted out behind you.

You believe the genuity of that. You may know that they hate you, but they're nice people. 

Your feet walk you in the direction you don't want to be heading. Split between this impulse decision and just going home. But you can't make yourself go home, you can't go home, home just remind you of everything, and everything you're not-

The Daycare doors feel heavier than usual, which makes sense considering how much you've had tonight. Inside, you find it's, pretty much the same as usual, you don't know what all the fuss was over on Sun's part. 

Speaking of, where is he? 

You shuffle in, taking note of the small plastic tea cups and saucers sitting on a table that's been moved to the center of the space. Along with... snacks? Right, Chica's supposed to be here. Seems she hasn't shown up just yet.

You're trying to remind yourself why you came here as opposed to calling for a ride, when you hear the doors open again. 

"Oh. You're back."

You turn, Sun is holding a tray with a teapot, and there is indeed, steam coming out of it. Now you know. 

"Did you want something or are you just here to bother me?" He swiftly walks past you, setting the pot and tray down with pointed showmanship.

Something about his tone sets you off. Not unusual. But because you're not sober, you speak your mind in a way you otherwise wouldn’t. Unfortunately unusual. 

"You know, starting to wonder that myself."

"Really now?" He speaks with a bored enthusiasm that grates on you.

"Yeah, really. You know, I don't sleep at night because of you," You shake your head, "My dreams are just, filled, with nothing but that night. Over and over again, it plays in my head. And you see, the worst part is that it's not even the idea of seeing him in that stupid machine. You know what keeps me up? You. And what you did to me," You take a deep breath, looking back to him, "And what I did to you." 

Sun's rays tick a few times. 

Then, "You're intoxicated."

"Yeah, no shit, glad you finally got up to speed."

"I'm just rather surprised you'd be interested in taking such risks again considering what happened to you last time."

You scoff, "Don't even try to pull that, I wasn't wasted, I had a concussion."

"I was referring to being at the Plex so late alone, Starshine," His gaze narrows, "But rest assured, you're increasing my concern the more you speak."

"Concern for what? Because we both know it isn't for me. And that's fine, shouldn't expect, don't deserve it. Even if I-" You stop yourself, you're not out of it enough for that, "I'll just give it to you straight; you have no reason to be concerned. For my siblings? They don't need me, Clara sees more of them than I do and she does a hell of a lot better job. My work? Someone else would fill the gap when I'm gone, my team's more than competent without me. My friends? They've got each other, or, or partners. And our little investigation? You," You slow down for a moment, "Well, I'm sure with that charming personality of yours you could trick another sorry sucker into helping you with ease."

You throw up your hands, laughing, "So, no need for concern here, Sunny. If something happens to me no one will notice!" Your face feels wet, "No one's going to fucking care. So, you can take your concern and shove it."

You bring a hand up to your face, confirming that you are crying, "Fuck, exactly what I needed to top off the night."

You sniff once, and then turn around, you seemed to get everything you'd wanted to say out of your system, maybe you can go home and be happy now. Or something. 

"Why did you come here tonight?"

You pause, then laugh quietly, hand coming up to run through your hair, "Hell if I know."

A hand is set on your shoulder, one that makes you spin around. The motion slightly jogs you.

Sun's gaze is down at you, rays spinning once or twice but otherwise motionless. 

"Stop that. I don't like being analyzed," You mutter, averting your eyes. 

His other hand comes up to guide your focus back to him, "You're in no condition to go anywhere. Not right now."

You manage a half-hearted chuckle, "Give me some credit, Sun. I'm calling an uber as soon as I'm out of here."

You think if he could frown he would, instead, his eyes narrow and grip tightens just a tad, "Not wise. Not if you're alone. I suppose there's other options. Hold still. And don't look down."

"What are you-hey hey hey, what are you doing?" You argue, anger flaring momentarily as he takes hold of you, your feet coming out from under you as he lifts you into his arms. 

Before you know it, you're up in the air, having to squeeze your eyes shut so you don't get dizzy from the change. You feel Sun land on solid ground again several seconds later.

"You say a word about anything and I'm putting you in the theater instead," A brief pause, "Or on a naptime mat down below."

You open your eye, "Wha-Oh."

"I mean it. Not. A. Word."

You put your hands up, "Okay, okay."

He didn't say anything about making private observations to yourself. 

The Attendant's room is somehow exactly what you expected and not at all. Your first thought is organized. Your second thought is empty. 

Clean also comes to mind, there's not a speck of dust in sight. You take note of the different standout features. An old, Hollywood style dresser with matching mirror and lights, string lights hang from the ceiling among the rafters. There's a set of cubbies containing spare toys, and some seemingly ongoing craft projects. 

You spy your bean bag in a corner with a few others. There's also a large pile of blankets and stuffed animals, almost like a bed. Lying nearby you see a charging port. 

The most interesting thing to you, however, is the green tube in the left wall, leading obviously to somewhere, you just don't know where exactly. 

You don't get to find out, Sun sets you down on the blanket pile, and if you weren't so hypervigilant you'd sink right in, exhaustion is starting to hit you after the combination of drinking, yelling, and crying. 

You hear a click and realize he's left the room. It's the perfect opportunity to snoop, but the desire for rest outweighs this urge. Besides, it's rude. And you're not that rude.

You feel like all you did was blink and he's back again. You rub your face and pat it a few times to try and wake up, glancing over to the bot.

"I've already taken the liberties of informing your babysitter that you will be home after several hours of sleep. And agreed upon compensation." Sun answers your look of concerned confusion by raising his hand with your phone, "You dropped it when I picked you up, she had asked about your well-being. You can check to confirm I did nothing else if that eases you."

The fact you can't recall that happening proves it's probably for the best he did that.

"God she's going to hate me," You groan, rubbing your face with both hands. 

Sun sets your phone down beside you, and sits down in front of you, glass of water in one hand, "She does not. Drink."

You eye the glass with suspicion.

"Are you seriously debating whether I've tampered with it?"

"Should I not?"

A scoff, "It's a glass of water, I've done nothing to it."

"Sound like something someone who did something to it would say," You muse.

Another scoff, and he leans down, rays clicking, "If I was going to do something, Bright Eyes, it would have already been done. And need I remind you, I can't cause harm even if I wanted to."

"Fine," You huff, taking the cup and muttering as you sip, "I'm surprised they let you have glass."

No answer. You look over, eyebrows raised. 

Then it clicks, "Ah. Contraband. Noted," You finish the glass and wipe your mouth, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

No words for a bit, your head hurts, but this helps. That might be a good thing to bring up, you're not a fan of this kind of silence.

"Why did you help me? Or I guess, why are you actively, helping me?"

Sun shrugs, hands clasped in his lap. You expected a snarked out comment that you're strangely not receiving.

Then, "I'll get you another glass. You should rest in the meantime." He stands up, and in your current state the action panics you. 

"Wait," You reach out, grabbing his arm, "Don't go. I'm, I don't want to be alone. Please." God, you sound pathetic.

You also realize what it is you're doing, and to whom, and you let go, "I, shit, sorry. Just, yeah just go get the water. I'll be fine."

You pull your knees up to your chest, controlling your breathing. You didn't need to start crying again. You're fine, you know you'll be fine.

A soft jingling sound interrupts your thoughts, and looking up you see Sun unwrapping one of the ribbons from his forearm, then his wrist. Once he's finished, the ribbon and bells piled in one hand, he holds it out to you. 

You furrow your brow, but take the offering. 

"It's the best way I can think of to assure you I'll be back. I'd look rather silly if I went around like this, right?" He waves both hands up by his face. 

You sniff, "Yeah."

"And if you're truly, concerned, just ring, and I'll be here," He stands straight again, taking the glass, "I'll just be a moment."

"Ok."

He leaves the room, and you're alone.

Having nothing better to do, you lean back against the numerous pillows and stuffed animals behind you, hands clasping and resting on your chest. 

You take note that the ceiling has a few glow in the dark stickers you recognize from the Daycare proper. Someone must've snatched the extras when they had the chance. The thought makes you laugh softly. 

It also occurs to you then that Moon is additionally assisting in this, mess, you've created, given that the theater is probably dark, and you don't believe that door leads anywhere else. 

You close your eyes, shame welling up in you. This is pathetic on your part. Truly and utterly. You're an adult, and you can't take care of yourself after a night of drinking? You can't manage to drink responsibly, avoid the typical stereotype and make a fool out of yourself saying shit you shouldn't? God, you're so-

You're being gently jostled awake, "You can't sleep like that, friend. You'll regret it." More quietly, "And he won't shut up about it, for that matter."

You open your eyes, they feel a tad heavy from the short nap you got. Your senses perk up however, when you smell something greasy yet heavenly. Pizza, currently in Sun's hand, soon to be in your stomach if you have anything to do with it.

"Thought you were just getting water," You say, as if you're not two seconds away from devouring that pizza whole. 

He scoffs lightly, setting the pizza in front of you and handing you the water, "I had a feeling if I told you what I was doing it would only make things worse."

"You'd be right," You take a brief drink of water, then open the pizza box and grab a slice. It's divine. And you don't say that lightly when it came to Fazbear pizza. 

You groan mid-bite, leaning back against the plushes behind you, "God, I wish you could taste how good this is right now. Like," You take another bite, "So frickin' good."

You're too focused on eating to overhear Sun laughing quietly at your antics. You managed to scoff down three slices before he takes it away from you. 

He places it over on the dresser, "You'll get sick. And preferably, I'd rather not be cleaning up vomit at 1 am, if it's all the same to you."

"Just one more! Come on," You whine, then pause, eyebrows shooting up, "Oh I am not sober, that's for sure."

You realize Sun's staring at you, and your face heats up.

"Don't look at me like that, it just makes it worse," Your hands come up and cover your face.

At that Sun laughs. And maybe you're a bit out of it, but it doesn't sound mocking, or pretentious. It's genuine. 

You feel a compulsion to right your wrongs from earlier, or at the very least, try to.

"I'm, I'm sorry for what I said. You didn't deserve that."

"I don't accept." Sun states. 

You cringe, and nod, "Fair."

He chuckles, "I don't accept, because it wasn't directed at me. You may have said those words at me, but I think we both know their true target."

You think for a moment, nodding solemnly, "Helen."

"Who? I-" He shakes his head, "Starlight, I meant yourself."

"Oh. That makes a bit more sense." You decide to give him a bit more context to save some trouble, "She runs the PTA. My third worst enemy, behind you, and Grab Ass. You got a Katie Chase in that little directory of yours?"

"Yes? But-oh. That one." 

Your brows raise for a moment, "Wow, I've never heard you speak with that much disdain before."

"We all have limits, friend," His tone shifts, like he's about to boil over with rage, "We all have limits..."

You yawn, and his attention shifts. He motions for you to take off your shoes and the likes, and you get the hint. You lay back into the bed-you're pretty sure there's a mattress buried under here somewhere, feels like it-letting loose another yawn.

Sun takes one of the blankets and tosses out over you, it falls slowly down on top of you. Then, he bends down and presses his smile to your forehead, pulling back after a moment and patting your head.

"What was that for?"

His rays spin, eyes widening a fraction. Seems he's just now realizing what he did, "An unfortunate matter of programming. One I'm hoping you'll forget by morning."

You scoff, smile on your lips, "That's not how being drunk works, you know. Only if you've drank a lot."

That seems to relax him.

"So explain it to me then," He sits at the end of the blanket pile, "I'm curious."

You sit up slightly to make eye contact with him, "Really? All the stuff you could learn about and that's what piques your interest?"

He nods.

You stare at him a moment, then lay back down, "I mean, alright. Do my best here."

You explain. Sun asks you a question every now and then. You just, talk. You talk to each other for, awhile it feels like. You talk until your throat starts to get sore. You, you haven't spoken with someone like this in a long time. Long enough you can't remember when the last time you did was. 

You start to get tired and Sun notices immediately. He mutters a brief goodnight to you, and the lights are shut off soon thereafter.

You roll over to your side to watch Moon appear. 

"Thank you. Both of you," You say, as he walks back over to you, "You didn't have to do all this, it's, appreciated."

He nods, "You are welcome."

A sudden realization hits you as sleep begins to take over. 

"My stuff..." You mutter, "I, left my stuff back in the West Arcade, if it's not stolen already."

Moon stands, "I'll retrieve it for you. Will you be alright?"

You sleepily raise your hand, bells jingling in your grasp, "Got these. And I'm a bit more sober now. I'll be okay."

Moon nods, "Then I'll return shortly."

"I might be asleep by then," You yawn, "So I'll preemptively say thank you, and goodnight."

"Goodnight, Diana. Sweet Dreams."

You huff lightly, "What, no goodnight kiss?"

It takes you all of 0.5 seconds to realize what you just said.

"Oh goddammit-"

Moon leans down, and presses a kiss to your forehead, his tone cheeky as he pulls away again, "Is that satisfactory, your highness?"

Your face is hot with embarrassment but you refuse to lose. 

"'Twas," You turn over and away so he can't see your wide-eyed 'holy shit' stare, "But I'll have you know that I'm not that demanding when I drink. This was a one-time thing. Won't happen again."

"Of course not."

You snuggle further under the blanket, mumbling, "It won't. I mean it. It was a stupid mistake. One that's going to haunt me for a while."

Quiet. You feel him sit down beside you, "Everyone makes mistakes, Icarus. It's how we learn from them that matters."

"Trust me, I know."

A hand on your shoulder presses down and makes you lay back on your back. You stare up into red eyes, narrowed with concern down at you. The gaze makes you uncomfortable. You try to brush it off.

"I don't need a pity party, Moon. I gave myself enough of one earlier."

He tilts his head, "It's funny how you always assume care to be pity. I wonder why that is?"

You're about to say it, and play it off as a joke, but he beats you to the punch. 

"Well, it's not fair to speculate. So I'll just tell you, you don't have to suspicious of such with me. Or either of us for that matter," His focus goes back on you, "We mean what we say."

You raise a brow questioningly.

"For the most part, I should say."

You chuckle, "Yeah, I know."

"Your friends mean what they say too, you know. They care about you. As does your family. It's obvious to anyone that sees it. You just simply need to allow yourself to." He pokes your forehead. 

You sigh, looking up to the ceiling briefly, "Oh, that's a lot harder than it sounds, Moon-man."

"I never suggested otherwise. I merely intended to remind you."

"I've been reminded," You smile slightly, "And I'll do my best to continue to do so."

"You'll have assistance." You can't tell if that's a tease, a threat, or a promise. You'll just be on the safe side and assume all three. 

You smirk, "Goodnight, Moon. For real this time."

"Goodnight, Andromeda. For real." He rises from the bed, giving a quick two-finger salute.

You snicker, shake your head, and close your eyes. 

A few moments later you hear the jingle of bells fade out into the Daycare itself.

Your hand clutches the bells and ribbon in your hand a tad tighter, and you feel yourself start to drift off into sleep.

You find yourself awake some time, you're guessing, much later. Your head isn't nearly as heavy, and you feel as if you slept for at least a decent amount of time. 

Groggily, you fumble for your phone, finding that it's been about three hours since you fell asleep. 

You become keenly aware of someone staring at you, and scanning the room find Moon staring down at you from the rafters. 

Normally, this would be an alarming sight at 4 in the morning, for you and your half-asleep mind, it arouses mild surprise. 

"Why are you awake?" He asks. 

You sit up, fumbling for the glass beside you, "I become very awake in the hours after drinking," You gulp down the glass, "For a very short period of time. I'll probably start feeling tired again in a few minutes."

You wipe your mouth and look up to the Attendant, "Why were you watching me?"

Moon shrugs, "Bored."

"Yeah right," You scoff, "Not with the amount of shit you get into on the regular. What's your real reason, sport?"

"Sport?" He asks.

You wave your hand, "It's a combination of sleepiness and leftover drunkenness, just ignore it and save me some embarrassment."

"Noted."

"You didn't answer the question. Don't think I didn't notice," Your arm moves jankily as you point your finger at him. 

His faceplate spins, "We simply wanted to ensure you were alright."

"We? That's a shocker. I'm surprised he isn't having a hissy fit about you making such an implication."

There's a bout of binary before Moon answers with a sigh, "He is now."

You giggle, "Sorry."

Quiet for a few moments.

"Your belongings are located beside you," Moon points to where your bag sits on the floor not too far from the bed, "They appeared to be in order, though I can't say for certain."

Your eyes widen for a moment before you nod your head slowly, "Oh yeah, forgot about that. Thanks."

Moon nods.

"Sorry if I um, ruined your evening plans."

The Naptime Attendant chuckles, "Plans? What is it that you think we get up to, Pandora?"

"You know what I mean, I know you don't just sit and stare at the wall for hours until open," You shrug, "You explore, fuck around with your mechanics, which I don't approve of still," You send him a scolding glare, then continue, "Sun has gossip night with Chica, seems to be a bit crafty as well."

Moon whistles, or plays the sound, at least, "Impressive."

"Yeah, yeah," You wave him off, yawning.

"Seems you've expended your remaining energy."

You settle back into bed, "Getting there."

"Anything I can do to help?" He asks, shifting position to hang upside down from the beam, feet hooked over the other side. 

You scoff lightly, "You, aiding those in desperate need of rest? I don't buy it."

"It's my specialty." He insists, and you both quietly laugh.

"Want me back to bed that bad, huh?" You ask, hands clasping on your chest while you stare up at him, thinking.

"Have any good bedtime stories?"

His faceplate spins, "More than you'd imagine."

"Pick one for me then, and I think that'll do the trick," You nod once, affirmingly.

"Very well."

He starts, voice smooth, soft. Really, perfect for storytelling if you're being honest. It helps your mind to settle again, and well before the end, you're asleep again.

Waking up the next morning, you find yourself face to, back? with a yellow animatronic. 

Sitting up, you see Sun is slouched beside the bed, facing away from you. Examining him more closely you see there's a charging cord plug into the back of his head. 

Curiously, you reach out to poke him. 

"I'd appreciate the ability to recharge in peace, friend."

You jump back, cursing under your breath. 

Then, you huff, "There's no way you could tell what I was going to do."

"No, but a bot can have his suspicions," He turns to look back at you, "And plenty of mine have been right about you."

"'Plenty of mine have been right about you.'" You mock quietly. 

"How are you feeling?"

You sigh, shrugging, "Fine. Maybe a little hungover. I'll live, if you were worried."

"I wasn't," He retorts as you snicker, "But good to know."

You nod to the charging cable, "Thought the two of you switching kept you from using that too often."

At this, Sun flusters. Taking a moment to articulate himself.

"Typically. However, Moon felt-" A bit of binary, before doubling down, "Moon felt it would be unfair to have the lights on in any manner of speaking while you slept. So they remained off throughout the night."

You muse on the words for a minute, nodding thoughtfully. Inside, part of you is overjoyed, and the other is a mixture of shocked and maybe touched? You're not going to think on it further. Point is, Sun gave up his hours-willingly or unwillingly-to give you the chance to sleep. 

"Well, it's appreciated," You reach up and flick his forehead, narrowly dodging around him to grab your phone as he shoos you away. 

He grumbles a response you don't catch. 

Checking the time, it's around 8 am. Looking at your messages, Sun told Clara you'd be home by 10. Yikes. Good to know how little faith he had in you. Well, best not waste it. 

You stretch, giving a final yawn, "This place have a breakfast special? Feel like I swear I've heard about it at least once."

"It does, but I'll inform you it's not one that's served in bed."

"Relax. I can take care of myself just fine now," You throw off the blanket and stand up, "I'll be back. Hold down the fort in the meantime, yeah?"

Sun sputters, a "What?" As you pat him briefly on the back and march out of the room, on the prowl for food to satisfy your hunger. 

Once you find it, you sneak your way back into the Daycare. The Plex is still pretty much abandoned at this point in the morning, but you don't want to have to explain yourself if you don't have to. 

Walking in, you plop down on the bed beside Sun and dig into your breakfast sandwich. Either you're much more hungover than you thought, or this is delicious. Potentially, both. 

"Sorry you missed out on your shit talking session," You say between bites, "As a fellow disgruntled employee I know how important those can be."

Sun scoffs.

You turn to look at him, "And thanks for taking care of me. It's appreciated."

This appears to surprise him, rays ticking to one side, "You're welcome."

"You're not the worst person I've ever met, you know," You take another bite, "Up there, but you have your good qualities."

"That means the world coming from you," He says, hand on his chest and voice syrupy sweet.

You nod, "I know."

He huffs, it turns into a laugh after a moment.

"You're not the worst person I've met, either," His gaze meets yours, "Not as much as you believe yourself to be."

You pause, surprised. Then, you swallow, coughing, "T-thanks."

He turns away again. You continue to eat. 

A thought crosses your mind. 

"You know, if you were really worried about the light, you could've just closed the curtains."

Sun freezes. Then, he sighs, heavily. Hand coming up to run down his face before falling into his lap. 

"Yes. I suppose that would have, been an option."

You burst out laughing, which only grows as the two attendants seem to argue back and forth with each other. 

As you bask in the moment, you find yourself thinking back. 

Yeah, you weren't perfect, but you cared. A lot. And you think that says a lot. Means a lot.

To someone, at least.

☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙☀️🌙

Well, you can probably see now why this bad boy was scrapped as a chapter. Believe me I had the full intentions of saving it, but I'll admit once I saw an out by using it as a one-shot I jumped on it lol 

I don't know if it's everything that I wanted, but I think I hit the main points I'd originally set out to. 

To those who wanted affection with the CS boys, you got it! Just maybe not how you were expecting :) Ah, who am I kidding, you knew it was going to come at the price of angst

Sorry that I went awol for a bit, the antibiotics DID knock me on my ass and it was, rough, to put it plainly and I'm still going to have to get a scan lmao

idk man, I just want to be better already, I gotta propose (MY THESIS, I MEAN MY THESIS, I AM SINGLE) in a few weeks I don't have time for this >_< (she says, as if this hasn't been a 3 month saga)

Gahhh, anyway, hope you enjoyed! Have no idea how I'll feel from one day so you may or may not see me but know I'll be writing in the meantime (and enjoying it i promise, it's my hobby afterall) thanks for reading!

Tag list (hope I did this right, if you did not want tagged simply let me know and I'll remove you!):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @eternal-soup (IT WON'T LET ME @ YOU I'M SORRY)

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse

If you want to be added to the tag list, or check out my other stuff, see this post here for more information, bye!

[kobebibebi]

I’ve seen your art around a few times, and it is stunning! How are you able to create such distinctive character designs (I saw the sot ones and they’re beautiful, especially Kenny)?! It’s incredible

Thank you friend :-)

OMGDHDGG#&$&-$&$&#&&$&$ HIIIIIIIII 💖💖💖💖 I LOVE UR MULTIVERSE FIC/AU <33333 UR AWSOME??????#-_?#&!;#&#&

sorry about thar,, anwyay

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! 😭💖💖💖

about my character designs especially for my fantasy au, i wanted to make each of the main 4 shine (and at least basically make each of them equally the main character,, tho i think i failed a bit since its obvious i liked princess kenny more lol)

in context they're all pretty important figures in the story, each leading their own faction so i think it just made sense that i would make them all have their own distinct fashion styles and vibes,

and since they're the first designs i made for this au i wanted to establish a style/vibe for each faction so i can have a guide on other characters belonging to those factions,

-like kyle's design having floral patterns and intricate clothing to show the long standing culture of the elves, i wanted to make him look the most traditional so i opted to give him A LOT of detailed patterns than he did in canon

-or a very simple and practical design for stan to show that unlike the others he (and his faction) focuses more on fighting and combat than being fashionable and presentable to the public, so i gave him simple clothing that isn't really too far from his actual canon design

-for cartman i wanted to emphasize his star motifs more and push more on his individuality as a wizard, in my au kupa keep is a freshly new faction in comparison to the elven kingdom so I really went hard on making his design focus on himself rather than his faction (which is honestly pretty in character now that i realize lol)

- and lastly princess kenny, i wanted to make a design that screams "i will go to war for her" considering her famous reputation for gaining followers simply for her looks and charms, and obviously with a very anime fantasy inspired design

im really glad i could share these 😭, i put a lot of thought, time and effort for these designs so thanks so much for asking this literally !!! i could go on for days on how i designed them 💔

(also sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for 😔 this is the first thing i thought of lol)

but rlly tho tysm im glad to hear that especially from u oh my goodness i actually freaked out and almost screamed in my classroom when i saw this ask 😭😭

and fr tho 😭 I really love your Top 3 reasons to not open a multidimensional time rift: number one will surprise you fic💖💖💖 i genuinely read it everyday and it's also stuck in my head get them out please /j, i love it so much and you're a really amazing writer + artist and i love ur works so this ask is so awesome for me (also we're mutuals now omgg)

[gojos-thot-patrol]

I really liked your dating HCs 😃 wanted to know if you could do the jjk men flirting with a crush HCs? 🥰 just all the stuff they try to do to woo a person if interest 😍

Aww, I'm glad you like my dating HCs! Flirting goes hand in hand with dating as far as I'm concerned, so lets do this!

Now Presenting...

Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna

Kento Nanami

the quiet type

Nanami is so bad at flirting I'm being SO SERIOUS 

He doesn't really have the time or energy for it, so it's a struggle for him to flirt. 

All I can think about when I think about Nanami flirting is this clip.

I feel like he treats it as a business transaction because that's just what he knows and is familiar with

When he's not being extremely business savvy, he's trying to get to know you as a person. 

If you're going to make a relationship work, you have to know that person. So he's asking you about your hobbies, your childhood, your opinions, ect.

Now, I know what you're thinking Dear Reader. "Isn't that just what friends do?"

Yes. 

I told you, he's bad at this.

Honestly, you probably wouldn't have any idea he was interested in you romantically until he hits you with that, "I've had feelings for you for a while now, would you like to go out on a date with me?"

BLINDSIDED.

But, honestly? Considering all the Information he's gathered about you it's going to be one of the best dates of your life 

After that, his flirting does shaft. It turns more into him sending you “Good morning 💛” texts and checking in on you throughout the day. 

Also he cooks for you.

He flirts by learning your favorite dishes and learning how to cook them perfectly.

As far as he’s concerned, cooking for someone is the oldest expression of love and care, and he’s a sucker for cute traditions. 

He also starts to recommend media based on things you like. He’s flexing that he knows your taste

Ultimately Nanami flirts by showing that he knows you well, which is weird to say lol.

Suguru Geto

Prince Charming

Charismatic as fuck.

Out of all of these men he's the best at flirting. 

Suguru is very manipulative, and that translates Into him being phenomenal at flirting, because he can manipulate your emotions. 

I'd give an example but I can't cause he's better at flirting than I am by a mile

I think it's very subtle at first. Almost like him planting the thought of you liking him into your brain.

And once that seed has grown into a full on tree, his flirting becomes more overt, so you know he likes you and you like him

He definitely pebbles.

Giving you wildflowers he picked while the two of you were walking, giving you used books he annotated for you, sending you memes that made him think of you.

Do not be fooled reader, this man is Baby's First Manipulator and this is the start of love bombing.

He writes poetry for you. The type of poetry that when you first read it, it makes you all giggly and love sick, but when you read it after the breakup you realize it was all just pretentious garbage. 

SONG RECS. 

Geto flirts by giving you song recommendations, sending you music that reminds him of you, videos of live performances he thinks you’d like, and the like. 

Music genuinely forms the way this man interacts with the world, so when he starts sending you love songs that should honestly be the first hint that he’s into you. 

He sends his homies over to go and hype him up to you, that's the vibe

The moment you say you’re cold he's covering you in his jacket. 

“Where's my hug?”

Ok, no to the last point but also yes kinda.

I swear I physically CANNOT bring myself to be nice to Suguru

Satoru Gojo

the goofball

“Like my shirt? It’s made of boyfriend material.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

“Did it hurt when you fell? Cause you're the only Ten I See…wait, I think I fucked that one up.”

Gojo is CHEESY I TELL YOU. MAN IS DRIPPING IN CRINGE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

But, it’s almost charming just how earnest he is in trying to woo you. 

He sends you those couple memes like “this could be us but you playin’” paired with a picture of minecraft diamond armor Halloween costumes

He takes you to watch slasher movies so you get scared and cling to him, but ends up getting spooked and clinging to you.

When he looks at you you just see his eyes glittering with adoration

When he looks at you he just sees you through the Shojo vision filter

He always looks for a reason to touch you. Brushing your hair behind your ears, his knees brushing yours when you sit next to each other, anything. As long as you’re comfortable with it of course.

He slips notes into your pocket with other cheesy pick up lines or cute little doodles.

It starts with him just jokingly flirting to hide his real emotions, but it only makes his heart burn brighter for you.

You noticed it, when slowly it turns from him laughing after a cheesy pick up line to him nervously chuckling and trying to hide his blush.

He can’t look at you without smiling, at least just a little bit. 

His heart gets fluttery and he starts to get a little more stuttery.

He decides that just flirting and leaving the chance of a relationship just hanging over you, indefinite and fuzzy, hurts WAY MORE than any possible rejection could hurt

He slips a note into your pocket that's like “Wanna go on a date with me? For real this time! Yes No”

Gojo’s flirting just shows his inexperience with romance and seduction tactics, but it’s almost charming in that way

Ryomen Sukuna

The Monster

This man is Radioactive besties, idk how to tell you want nothing he’s peddling. 

He doesn't even flirt.

His flirting is telling you you belong to him and slaughtering anyone who dares to disagree. 

He flirts by being nice to you homie. 

Actually, no, scratch that. He flirts by not being actively hostile.

His tsundere ass would literally kidnap you, force you to spend as much time with him as inhumanly possible, and still be like “I don't understand why you think i like you.”

Basic kindness is his flirting. Like, honestly I don’t know to go about his section of this because he just doesn’t flirt LMAO

Him flirting is him just like, staring at you like a weirdo and just expecting you to know what that means

Him flirting is calling you woman instead of wench

On the real though, flirting is mostly seen in him being over protective of you. 

Like, god help any other person that talks to you where he can see it.

He’s going to choke slam them.

He picks on other people than immediately looks at you for approval because he thinks that sharing violence is flirting.

Honestly, that’s how he flirts. He goes out of his way to try and gain your approval.

He’s like a cat that brings you a dead bird, only the dead bird was another possible suitor.

Except he doesn’t know how to be a decent human being so it’s just him doing the most unhinged and horrific shit then looking at you like “I do good?”

No Ryomen, you don’t do good.

And yet, you’ve won my heart anyway. What a bother.

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

Do you still think you’d share how to comment on explicit fics? 👉🏻👈🏻 I just think that would be so great and helpful! Either way, I love the way you write so much!

ah yeah! okay Disclaimer: this is not universal or exhaustive and no one has to do any of this shit at all if it's not their vibe. this is just what i found works for me when im leaving a comment, and also the kinds of things i eat up with a spoon when other people comment on my stuff.

it can feel a little iffy and vulnerable sometimes when you're trying to comment on explicit fic, especially if it's extra juicy and especially if the author is someone you might not interact with. so i'm gonna break this up into two categories. Commenting On SFW But Still Sexy Aspects, and Commenting on NSFW Aspects. then i'll break down some options and give examples :) you can pick and choose however many works for you on a fic-to-fic basis.

SFW But Still Sexy Aspects

Character Behavior Changes - Example: i find it so interesting how A starts out so cocky and like he's about to lead everything, and then the second B starts touching him, he gets all nervous.

Setting/Atmosphere - Example: the fact that this is all happening in an alleyway adds to the grittiness in such an effective way - i love it! - Example: you described the mansion's details so well that i felt like i was there having a drink with them, watching them make eyes at each other! super hot!

Juicy Plot Points/Motivations - Example: knowing there's years of sexual tension between them makes this so yummy to read. glad you included the buildup! i was reading as fast as i could so i could get to the satisfaction of them finally getting together <3 and you did not disappoint!

Pointing Out Callbacks To Previous Chapters (If Chaptered) - Example: "line copy/pasted from this chapter" ah! okay i guess there was a reason for him doing XYZ in the last chapter lol - Example: i love that we're here now. i never would have guessed this would be happening between them when i started reading but damn does it feel so good.

NSFW Aspects

Pro Tip: use quotes from the fic! it helps you! it shows the author exact parts that worked! it's fun for everyone :D

Dialogue - Example: "dialogue copy/pasted from fic" oh my god i can hear this in their voice so clearly! - Example: "dialogue copy/pasted from fic" okay tbh i never thought i'd hear them say something like this, but the way you framed it and built up to it works so well! - Example: "dialogue copy/pasted from fic" this would've worked on me too tbh

A Particular Move/Position - Example (mild): B flipping A over and taking control was soooo hot - Example (medium): B going down on A was so hot - i love how into it they both were - Example (hot): B going down on A was so hot - i love how A couldn't help but cum so quickly with how nasty B was being <3

Anything That Got A Physical Reaction Out Of You - Example: "line copy/pasted from fic" wow this made my tummy swoop! - Example: the overall build up in this scene is so good i was sweating! / i'm fanning myself! / omg i need a cold shower lol

Kinks/Tropes - Example: i've never read this kink/trope before but i love your other work so i decided to give it a shot! - Example: i lovvve this kink/trope and you nailed it! especially the parts with XYZ.

Just Kidding Here's A Third Category: Miscellaneous

Excitement About New Fic - Example: omg i saw the notification and came RUNNING - Example: when i read the tags i started sweating. knew immediately that you were going to put me on my ass

Relating Back To Other Works From The Author - Example: This reminds me of your other fic 'Fic Title'! really loved the tension in that one too - i'm glad we get to see some more!

Hit Em With The Ol' Emojis + Gratitude - Example: 🥵🥵🥵 thank you for sharing!

What Happens After You Close The Tab? - Example: i'll be thinking about this one for a long long time wow! - Example: i've been thinking about the last chapter since i read it. this fic has me in a chokehold! - Example: reading this for a second time! just as hot as the first!

in summary, most authors i know cherish comments like you wouldn't fucking believe! so follow your horny little heart and know that they're ecstatic that you took the time to leave one <3

and if all else fails, you can never go wrong with a good copy/paste of a line that you specifically liked + why you liked it!

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Hey, I love your Junkan art! Just was wondering, you recommended VanadisValentine 's work, which I agree with as I love all their Junkan stuff... but I was wondering, do you have any other Junkan recommendations? Would love to hear them if you do! (Ps. I haven't finished your blood bag work but what I have read of it so far I'm loving!)

Why thankyou for this question! First off glad you like all of the Junkan stuff so far, it's been a labor of love (and obsession) that took 9 months but seeing all the positive reactions has made it all worth it! As for recommendations, I am happy to oblige. I'll admit I haven't read every single Junkan Fic there is, I have made it a habit to go on a crazy binge of as much Junkan as I can, I go through every single page on AO3 and read anything tagged as soft (along with anything that looks like it was worth the risk.)

Hell when it comes to Junkan fics I literally have the Junko/Mikan tag for AO3 bookmarked and right at the top of my screen so I can click anytime, and I'm sure I still have plenty of fics left to read whether it's on this site or somewhere else hidden deep within google search. So if anyone wants to go in the comments/reblogs and give recommendations or even shill their own stuff go right ahead!~

Be sure to remember these, they'll be on the test later (this is foreshadowing) So do allow me to give you the long list of fics to read when you're feeling the vibe

I've already recommended VanadisValentine's works in previous posts, however for the sake of a complete list I'll still put em here.

The Marvelous Makeover of Mikan Tsumiki - VanadisValentine (Absolute Classic, also just really fun to say)

Everything You've Ever Dreamed - VanadisValentine (Quite possibly one of my favorite Fanfics just in general)

Turn Out the Lights - VanadisValentine (More focused on the characters separated along with their thoughts on the relationship but it's a great fic for when you're in the mood)

When Am I Gonna Lose You? - VanadisValentine (An 18+ Fic just as a warning, but if you're old enough and looking for something in that field this is an amazing piece, even with all my skill in the field of drawing funny pictures I don't think I could depict anything near as beautiful as the descriptions featured here. Does that sound pretentious? Yes! But I know what I am lol.) Year of Love and Despair - VanadisValentine (Last one from her on this list, also ongoing! If you want a variety of stories of these two ranging from fluffy to dramatic to sometimes even saucy then this fic is the place for you. Genuine highlight of my year and has helped me get through the tougher days very often. You can also look and see my really excessively long comments on most of the chapters!~)

Living in a Crazy Parallel World - Yurikah (Fair warning, this one is very long, isn't 100% Junkan Focused, and is also unfinished with it's last update being awhile ago. That said I think if you can make peace with that going into it you'll be in for a very well written treat!~)

Soft (But Only for Her) - Kayleen756894 (When I first got into Junkan I had only read a small handful of fics from AO3, this was one of them and I went through it in a single night. Extremely fun experience that covers a wide variety of ideas for Junkan. Fluffy, Tragic, it's the whole nine yards. There's gotta be at least one story in this collection that will appeal to someone if they like this ship)

Smile - Kayleen756894 (Truly amazing, one of the all time Junkan Fics out there. It can be a very stressful read but oh so very worth it in my opinion. And for those who want a fic closer to canon in terms of character depictions while still being on the softer side I think this will satisfy heavily)

Hurt, Hold, Heal - Kayleen756894 (Do you like Junko helping Mikan through a Panic Attack? Do you like Junko trying to be a better person? Do you like Mikan helping Junko just as much as Junko helps her? Oh look it's the fic for you. The ending is really sweet too)

Tomorrow is Lonely - Kayleen756894 (Also 18+, arguably even more than the previous one on the list. Check the tags before you read and if that sounds like something you're into go for it. Me personally I gotta be in a very specific headspace first but when I do read it I enjoy myself, it's real cute and has a lot of great little character moments)

Protectors in Red - Kayleen756894 (Extremely good! Also features Mukuro! So if that's a selling point then I'm sure it'll vibe)

Forgive Me, My Beloved - Gloomy_snake (Significantly out of my normal comfort zone and definitely not what one would expect compared to the other fics here, but an enjoyable read. And if you like Doomed Yuri, it's got plenty packed in.)

Drowning - aparticularbandit (Extremely inspiring piece of writing featuring Alter Ego Junko instead of Original Recipe Junko!)

A Night for Two - TheGreatWave74 (Cute fic with the girlies at the pool)

what's better than this, girls havin fun - oxidize (A Chatfic! It might not give the same lasting impact as other fics on the list, however this was the fic that introduced me to the very idea of Soft Junkan, so I will always cherish it, and make sure to re-read it every now and again for the sentimental value)

Burning Lungs - oxidize (Another unfinished fic, I remember that put me off from reading it for awhile. However when I finally did I got pretty invested, which left the cliffhanger on the last chapter all the more stinging. Hope the author is doin' well! Anyway, great fic, might go a bit overboard on the darker aspects of Mikan and Junko's backstories so be warned, but even with that in mind I enjoyed myself and find myself imagining the potential turns it could have taken. And watching Junko's feelings slow burn into existence was really pleasant, especially as her dynamic with Mikan continues)

School Life of Mutual Loving - MarySutcliff (A Compilation of various fics from various ships, 3 of which are Soft Junkan. I've only read the first two, but if you enjoy them I imagine the third will do something for you, the first chapter also, as far as my research can tell, is the first instance of Soft Junkan.) First Chapter Second Chapter Third Chapter

Queen of the Convenience Store - Orphan_Account (The one where Junko and Mikan do weed. I actually quit weed and went cold turkey about a week or two ago, but I do still enjoy seeing girls kissing while being high. even if i can't remember if they kiss in this oops)

A DR Oneshot from an Orphan_Account (It features a Hot Topic, my inner 2000s kid has to recc it)

The Threshold - character_studious (A Bit Dark, but a pleasant read!)

The Whirlwind Fashionista - Kaz3313 (Cute lil Non-Despair AU fic featuring a very cool mall! The ending also gets a chuckle out of me)

No Regrets - wait i made that one (I wasn't going to put this here initially however as a small spoiler, Day 50 of this project is directly based on this fic. I'm super mixed on how it turned out but hey maybe someone'll like it)

And that's it for now! I may or may not be forgetting a decent amount of fics even among the ones I've read before. And there's plenty I haven't even seen yet, and plenty more to be made overtime I imagine.

Your mileage may vary with a lot of these fics, but hopefully you'll find one that itches your brain good like they itch mine. And if not then I recommend just hitting the Junkan Tag running and see what you can find! Take a few risks and maybe you'll find something surprising.

Have a wonderful day and remember to stay hydrated!~

[lovelynim]

Hey! Do you have any tickle hcs for the deep space boys? I’d love to hear your opinions considering seeing u post about it is what got me into the game! Thanks for that LOL ;)

Hi anon!!

I actually do have some hcs for them and I'm so glad you asked because I was dying for an excuse to ramble about them!

Starting off with my fav because I'm biased. Anyway, I think lighter tickles/strokes tend to get a better reaction from Xavier??

Like, he said himself his tummy isn't that bad and he gives me the vibes that he is pretty good at holding his reactions even if you tickle his feet or under his arms - still get going at some point tho.

OH, RIGHT: HIS NECK

Horribly ticklish, can't stand getting kisses or raspberries there, will ALWAYS scrunch up his shoulders if you poke him there and will giggle adorably all the time heheheh

Now I have to be honest and say that I didn't interact with Zayne as much as you people would like me to do. I didn't vibe along with him at first, so it took me a while to get going lol

But thanks to Mia (@/ticklygiggles), I started to see the charms our cold, stoic doctor has and OF COURSE HE IS THE TYPE TO SAY HE IS NOT TICKLISH ASJUDHISHA

And he will die pretending he is not. Also, I feel like teases don't really work on him??? Anyway, you'll get him jumping in no time if you slide your fingers down his back and he will give you that cold, angry look saying "stop >:C"

Last, but not least, our beautiful and delicate artistic brat. Rafayel is hands down the most ticklish one among the three of them and will be dramatic and LOUD about it.

"I'm going to die", "you're killing me", "that's too much!" and you literally just poked his side. just that. UHAUSHAU

ANd he is just this walking tickle spot and anything you do will get him rolling on the floor. he also will try to get revenge, but ends up getting wrecked more because he is too baby to put up a fight.

I love him tho, and I have to say he is also the one that gets got the most because thats what he gets after pulling the brat behavior for so long.

[chaotic-on-main]

So glad you reblogged this because I did not see your post about this event before. And I almost missed it! 😱 But now I'm here… hi, Sky! Congrats on your milestone, dear! ❤️

I would be interested in one matcha green tea ice cream with cookie crumbles on top. If it's okay, could it be something like Levi comforting the reader while they're anxious and stressed? Something with nice calming domestic vibes maybe?

Order up!! One matcha green tea with cookie crumbles for Rose!!

Sky's Summer Fall and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairing ➼ Levi Ackerman x cisfem!Reader

☾ Content/Warning ➼ modernAU, pregnancy, anxiety, established relationship, pregnancy reveal

☾ A/N ➼ hi rose!! again, sorry it's taken me so long to get to this. this wasn't the initial path i had planned, but i think it went better than expected!! also i know i said i wouldn't write a pregnant reader, but i was inspired and i love the idea of dadvi even though i don't see myself wanting kids. there's something to unexpectedly soft about dad levi, and i love to imagine it. i mean, he's already so dad coded considering how many kids he adopts lol. also for anyone seeing this, the rest of my requests are no longer summer themed LMAO. i'm gonna have to do something simple for my next event a;lsdkfjalj

☾ Word Count ➼ ~1.9k

The pattering of raindrops on window panes is a sound that brings comfort to you, doubly so during this time of year. Orange and red leaves lie dormant on the wet pavement only to be run over by various cars going home for the evening. With the end of the year holidays looming around the corner, excitement fills the air. But not for you. Instead, it's overwhelming anxiety, and the rain does not bring the comfort you seek.

You're so in your head that you don't hear the keys in the door and the light footsteps of your husband coming home from work. As you toss some chocolate chips into the red bowl full of light brown dough, your mind bounces from one thought to another. Some thoughts hurt worse than others and you find yourself almost choking up until you force yourself to think of something else.

Long, cold fingers wrap around your wrist as you go to pick up a silicone spatula, holding your arm up midair. You're so startled at the sudden touch that you drop it straight into the bowl – thank god it was mixed enough to not splatter. When your eyes snap to the source, the automatic relief that normally comes with seeing those beautiful gray eyes doesn't wash over you. You’ve underestimated the anxiety that courses through your veins like ice.

“What's wrong?” Your husband's low voice comes out careful.

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about right now. Welcome home!” You force out, your lips pulling back on your teeth in a reassuring smile. Levi Ackerman has known you for far too long, and he wasn't stupid. His eyes scan the messy kitchen counters with furrowed brows.

“I count at least 4 mixing bowls, most half filled and only a few finished products. Either you've signed up for a bake sale, or something is wrong. You only get like this when something is bothering you.” Levi's eyes go back to yours.

“I- uh. It's nothing, really.” You check the clock on the stove and gasp. “I didn't realize the time, and I haven't even started on dinner yet. I'm so sorry.” You quickly push aside your mess to make room for some space.

“Go sit down.” Levi says as he puts his keys and phone in the little wicker basket that sits on the far end of the counter.

“No, it's okay! I can do this.” You don't even know what to make for dinner. You've been in a downward spiral all day and haven't thought that far ahead. The sound of glass bottles rattle as you open the fridge doors to peek at your options - only to find them extremely limited. You should have gone to the grocery store earlier today.

The fridge closes in front of you as Levi pushes his way in front of you. Suddenly his hands are cupping your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks in a way he knows is comforting to you. You just now notice his hair slicked back, stuck in place from the rain outside. Black eyebrows scrunch together in concern as he stares at you.

“Levi, I don't need help. I can do this myself.” You mutter.

“Go sit down.” He repeats, softer this time. You stare back, trying to find the energy to argue. But you have none, so you make your way over to the plush navy couch in the living room. In a means to help comfort you, you pull your knees to your chest and stare out the window. Night time has made its way home, the yellow streetlights hazily glowing through the cold rain. It takes everything within you to focus on what you see and hear, and not what races through your mind.

Either you dozed off or fell into a trance because before you know it, Levi comes over and taps your shoulder. You blink a few times as your eyes adjust to what he's holding out to you – a bowl and a glass of water.

“I bet you haven't hydrated once today, have you?” He raises a brow.

“I've been busy?” You give him a small smile, but take the glass anyway. He sets the bowl down in front of you on the coffee table. You didn't even need to see it to know what it was as the smell of it wafts from the kitchen to your nose. Spaghetti, and Levi's spaghetti at that. Well, technically Kuchel’s - Levi's mom – recipe. From the moment he had made it for you when you both first started dating, you knew this was the best recipe you have or will ever taste.

Not only was it delicious, though, it was comforting. It was home.

“Oh, Levi.” You sigh as you reach over to place your glass down so you can pick up the warm bowl in two hands. The smell of herbs and tomatoes dance in your nostrils as you breathe in deeply. You don't hesitate to poke your fork into the red pasta and slurp up the saucy noodles.

The sofa shifts as Levi sits next to you, leg crossed as he leans back with his own bowl in hand. He doesn't say anything as he digs in, eyes looking out to the darkened window. It stays silent save for the quiet smacking and the metal clinking on porcelain. For a while, you're distracted yet again as you fill your tummy but eventually your bowl is empty and the dread starts creeping back in.

“Did you want more or…?” Levi breaks you out of your thoughts and your eyes focus back to what you were looking at – the red-streaked bottom of the bowl.

“Oh, no I'm good. Thank you for making dinner. I'm sorry I couldn't have it done by the time you got home.” You smile softly at him as you hand him your bowl. His lips twitch as he regards you. He takes the bowl from you and you think he's about to get up but instead, he sets it on the coffee table and shifts so that he's facing you fully.

“There's nothing to apologize for, dummy. What's going on in that head of yours?” He reaches over and taps your forehead gently with a forefinger.

“I don't know if this is the right time.” You whisper, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

“I'm home for the night, we have plenty of time before bed.” His hand trails down your face and cups your jaw as he holds your gaze. “What's going on?”

Reaching up, you rest your hand over his and lean into his touch. Then with a shuddering breath, you gently pry his hand off and stand up. Without another word, you make your way to the master bathroom and retrieve what you're looking for. Before exiting, you bend over the sink to take a few deep breaths. You just need to rip this off like a bandaid, you keep repeating to yourself.

Making your way down the hallway back to the living room, your fingers shake. The room grows silent as you hold the little white stick up to eye level the moment you step in front of your extremely confused husband.

Levi has to squint to see the little pink plus sign. There's a range of emotions that flood his face past the initial shock. You know when the realization hits him because his wide eyes flit over to yours as he checks to see if you're kidding. You only nod your head back. There's a moment of excitement that lights up in his eyes before the same look of anxiety that no doubt mirrors your own stares back at you.

Your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach at that.

“I-" Levi chokes on his words.

“It's real.”

You hear Levi inhale loudly as he runs his fingers through his hair and step back as he processes. You’ve been with Levi for so long but even you didn't know how he would react. Children weren't off the table, but you both had agreed to start a family when the time was right. To you, this was the worst possible time with Levi starting a new job and your writing career finally taking off. His reaction is enough to confirm those thoughts. Or, at least that’s what you thought.

“I know this is awful timing. And I’m sure we're not ready. I'm so-" Your last words are cut short into a squeak as a pair of strong arms pull you into a warm chest, the sudden movement causing the pregnancy test to fall and bounce onto the rug. You can feel Levi's heart beating a mile a minute against your own.

“Don't apologize.”

“But you’re not excited.” You’ve started crying and you can feel your tears seeping into Levi's shirt. He pushes you away from him and holds you there. His dark eyes bounce between yours as he regards you.

“Who said I wasn't?"

“I- just your face-"

“I won't pretend to say I'm not nervous. You know, Kenny was the only father figure I had and he wasn't around, not when it mattered, at least. I'm scared, actually.” His eyebrows furrow to match the concern that laces his tone.

“Levi-"

“But this is exciting, and I'm thrilled. And we'll navigate through this like we always do. But, how do you feel about it?”

“Well, I guess I'm scared too. Anxious. Our jobs are just taking off, and while I'm excited for a family with you, I'm just not sure how to take this.” You pull a hand up to wipe away the salty tears that streams down your face.

“We have 9 months, give or take. That's plenty of time for us to figure things out. But is this what you want?” Levi let's go of your arms to cup your face again. That moment of hesitance that graced his features is no longer there, only replaced by love.

“Do you think we'll be ready by then?”

“Who knows. But we can try. We'll figure it out together.” Levi pulls you back in and holds you in his tight embrace. You bury your face in his shirt, once again letting it soak up any leftover tears.

“If it's any consolation, I think you'll be a great dad. I watch the way you interact with your little cousin during get-togethers.”

“Tch. If our child is anything like Mikasa, I'm sure we'll be fine. But if they're like her friend Eren, we're starting over.” You laugh at that and slap his chest playfully.

“Levi, you can't say shit like that.”

“I'm just kidding. Mostly. That Eren kid has something wrong with him, I swear.”

You hold on to him in silence for a bit, taking note of the slowing heart beat between the two of you as the news finally sinks in. You were going to be a mom. You were going to be a parent with Levi.

“Someone needs to eat this. This is way too much for just the two of us.” You hear Levi chuckle. You can't see it, but you know he's staring at the mess you've made all day. You'll be up until 3am making sure everything gets baked so it doesn't go to waste.

“Three of us.” You lean back to look at your husband, smiling at that comment.

“You're right, the three of us.” You feel as Levi gently rests the palm of his hand on your stomach and leans down to kiss you softly. Your anxiety still lingers, but now it's tinged with relief because no matter what life throws at you, Levi is here.

tagging: @humanitys-strongest-bamf @romantichomicide95 @youre-ackermine @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @levis-squishy-cheeks @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @elnyrae @secretmoneybearvoid @apolloshaiku @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @missyasma @kingkonoha @sckerman @notgoodforlife @nube55 @svftackerman @velouria17 @melodyuzumaki

if you're not a part of my taglist but would like to be (or take off lol), please fill out the taglist on my pinned post!

[coquitokisses]

Trusting Again | chapter 014: let’s dance

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: hiiiii!! I’m so sorry for taking so long to post this chapter, but I kinda had a writer’s block with it lol but I’m back! It’s kinda short but I hope you like it <3

series masterlist • previous chapter • next chapter

"There's nothing to watch." Cat let out a groan as she threw the remote control on the couch "I'm gonna die of boredom, I'm not even joking." She covered her face and slipped off the couch onto the floor

It was almost 6 pm and Cat was just looking for something to watch on the tv after finishing her dinner. But she couldn't find nothing and was already starting to lose her mind.

"I've never met someone more dramatic than you." Bucky said before putting the spoonful of food in his mouth

"I'm not even kidding, I want to cry." She rubbed her eyes while still laying on the floor

"You can cry." He told her

"I'm not gonna cry." She sighed and then dropped her arms to the floor, she was all spread out like a starfish

"Are you sure there's nothing on the tv?" He looked at her

"I don't wanna keep looking."

"Didn't Sam said he found a music channel the other day?" He said with his mouth full

Cat let out a small gasp and sat up to look at him. "You're right."

"Well?"

"But I don't know what channel it was, ugh!" She groaned grabbing the remote again "Hey, Sam!" She called him as she rested her back on the couch, still sitting on the floor "What is he doing?"

"He's not even here, he's on his daily walk with Steve, remember?" Bucky reminded her

"Oh right, shit." She rolled her eyes "Whatever, I'll look for it myself."

She kept on looking through the channels until she finally found the music channels.

"Holy shit, there are a lot." She said "You wanna hear music from your time, old man? There's a channel for 40s music."

"I just want you to find something that entertains you." Bucky replied

"I love music, I don't care from what time, I can be entertained with that." She looked at him "So I don't mind listening to 40s music."

"You said you were gonna help me to get up to date with music, why don't you do that?"

"Do you want to?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Okay then."

"You were born in the 90s, tell me about that." He said

"Well I really like 90s music but sometimes I prefer music from the 80s." She replied with a shrug "I think we need to pick up where you left off."

"I already know 40s music." He looked at her, his head tilting a little bit

"Well then the 50s." She said "There's a channel with 50s music, wanna listen to it?"

"Sure." He nodded "Wanna give me a quick recap?"

"Glad you asked." She turned to look at him "The 50s are a very popular decade not only for the music but also for the style and all that shit." She started saying "There's a movie, you should watch it, it's called Grease and although it was filmed in the late 70s, the movie is set in the 50s and it's a really good movie."

"We have to watch it then."

"Yes! We can go to that place that Sam told us about and see if they have it so we can rent it." She suggested

"That would be great."

"I honestly think you would've loved the 50s." She looked at him

"You think so?"

"Yeah." She nodded "From what I've seen in movies and stuff, I feel like you would've loved the vibe."

"Well who knows." He shrugged "You need to show me this Grease movie."

"Oh trust me, I will."

They spend the rest of the evening listening to the songs, Sam and Steve came back home from their walk like an hour after and while they were in their rooms, Bucky and Cat were in the living room just talking while Cat drawing on her notebook.

"Dance with me." He told her

She lifted her head looking at him kinda shocked about him asking her that. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Dance with me, you said you know how to dance.. so let’s dance."

"I know how to dance, just not to that." She pointed at the tv where the music was coming from

"I can teach you, I'm a really good dancer." He said

She just shook her head lightly accompanied by a soft giggle. "I'm not dancing to that, you're crazy."

"Yes you are, come on." He stood up from the chair "I'll teach you."

Cat was just looking at him thinking about what to say. "Sit down."

"No until you accept."

"Oh my god." She rolled her eyes closing her notebook "You're insane."

"You're insane, come one, get up."

"Are you actually serious?"

"Yes, come on." He grabbed her hand

She had no other choice but to stand up from the chair and Bucky was quick to pull her a little closer to him.

"This hand goes here." He grabbed one of her hands and placed it on his shoulder "And then I put this hand here." He gently placed one of his hands on her waist

She could feel his breath on her face, that's how close they were.

"We're.. close." She lifted her head to look up at him

"What? Are you nervous?" He said in a low tone, the corner of his lips curving into a small smirk

She scoffed. "You wish."

Truth is, she was very nervous.

"Okay, I lead." He said "It's just slow dancing."

"I've never slow danced before."

"You're a baby and it shows."

"And you're a very old man and it shows." She replied and he rolled his eyes

"Just follow my lead, it's easy, I promise." He said

She just relaxed and did exactly what he said and just like that, they were dancing. And she wasn't feeling as nervous anymore, Bucky was saying things to her, sometimes making her laugh which definitely helped ease things for her.

"You still nervous?" He teased

"I wasn't." She rolled her eyes

"Yeah you were."

"No, I wasn't." She lifted her head so she could look at him

"Of course you were." He replied

And that's when it really hit her. They were very close. Their faces were just a few inches away, one sudden move and their noses could touch. She wanted to say something back but as soon as she opened her mouth, she closed it back up getting completely lost in those steel blue eyes that were piercing her soul.

"I- uh.." she pressed her lips together and cleared her throat trying to think of something to say

She was really nervous. It's the first time they're this close and if she was being honest, she was enjoying every second of it.

As was he.

The way his real hand was gently holding hers and how his metal arm was wrapped around her waist so soft that she completely forgot that it was metal. And Bucky was loving having her so close to his body like that. It was really comforting for him. He loved every second he spent with her.

And he wanted to kiss her so fucking bad.

Seeing her pretty green eyes looking up at him like she also wanted it.

Because she did, of course she did. But she didn't want to be the one to make the first move.

She was looking at him with those pretty, pleading eyes and who was he to resist?

He started to slowly lean in making her breath hitch as she parted her lips a little, trying to calm down her nerves when their noses slightly touched.

The sound of a door opening made Cat quickly move her head looking down. Bucky then made her do a spin to kinda ease the tension that obviously built up and then pulled her back to his body wrapping his metal arm around her again.

"Those two really know how to ruin the moment huh." Bucky whispered which made Cat giggle a little

Steve walked into the kitchen and couldn't help but stare at Bucky and Cat, who were in the living room, a little surprised by the fact that Cat was dancing to a slow song, but also he thought it was kinda cute to see them like that. When they started living together they were arguing almost every day, which was driving Steve and Sam crazy. But now they get along pretty well, which is nice.

Steve smiled a little and said, "Hey, you're slow dancing." to Cat

"I know!" She let out a little squeal making them laugh "Am I doing good?" She turned her head to look at Steve

He chuckled. "You're doing amazing, sweetie."

She couldn't help but laugh at the comment. "Why thank you!"

"See? I told you it was easy." Bucky said to her

"Okay, it is easy.. happy?"

He smirked. "Very."

(…)

It was a little past 11 pm, Cat was sitting on the balcony floor just looking outside while eating a chocolate bar Sam bought for her like two days ago.

"I thought you said you were going to sleep." Bucky's voice sounded through the living room

"Yeah, but I wasn't sleepy." She replied eating the last of the chocolate bar "What are you doing up?" She asked, her eyes still looking through the balcony rails

"Well I just got out of the shower." He said, his voice getting clearer and a little louder as he got closer to her "So what are we looking at?" He sat right next to her

She shrugged. "I don't know." She replied rolling the chocolate wrapper into a small ball "The cars, I guess."

"Are you feeling okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Hey, here's another one." His fingers went to her nape where she had another tattoo "This is the first time I've seen that one."

She chuckled. "Yeah, most of the time my hair is down." She moved her hand to the back of her neck for a moment before she moved it back to her lap

"Do you really think everything happens for a reason?" He asked referring to the tattoo

She turned her head to look at him. "I do." She nodded letting out a soft sigh

"Do you wish things had gone differently?"

"Yeah, of course I do." She nodded "But I don't think I would change anything if I had the chance."

"Why?"

"Well because if it hadn't gone the way it did, I wouldn't be who I am today."

"You got a point." He nodded "Wow, that was deep."

She let out a soft chuckle. "Thanks, I guess."

m. masterlist • series masterlist • next chapter

likes and reblogs will be appreciated!

[torahoes]

(IDOLiSH7) Touma Inumaru - An Idol's Daily Life Rabbit Chat: Part 1 - Send-Off with an Idol's Smile

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Please note that I am not a professional translator. If you come across any mistakes, feel free to let me know and I will make the necessary corrections.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Inumaru-san, good work. Thank you very much for appearing as a guest on MEZZO"'s radio show today!

Tsumugi Takanashi: Both of them seemed very happy and said they had a lot of fun talking with you about various topics!

Touma Inumaru: Good work today, Takanashi-san! I love music and often listen to MEZZO"'s radio show, so I had a blast too!

Touma Inumaru: I was so caught up in the deep conversation with Sougo that I forgot I was at work and got really fired up lol

Touma Inumaru: So much so that when Yotsuba kept asking me stuff without hesitation, I wanted to share so much with him, but time flew by too quickly.

Tsumugi Takanashi: You all were chatting in the waiting room after it ended too! And thank you so much for the King Pudding you brought for him!

Touma Inumaru: No problem at all! I was really glad that he was so happy! His eyes were sparkling when he went, "Can I eat all of it!?" It was adorable.

Touma Inumaru: Although Sougo immediately stopped him, saying, "You can't eat ALL of it" lololol

Tsumugi Takanashi: He said he planned to eat one tonight and one tomorrow morning. Lol

Touma Inumaru: I did that when I was a kid too. Whenever I bought a box of ice cream, I always wanted to eat several at once.

Touma Inumaru: I didn't think anyone would notice because there were so many, so this one time I secretly ate like three at a once and ended up with a stomach ache lolol

Tsumugi Takanashi: Three at once…? That's enough to freeze your stomach...

Touma Inumaru: I was dumb lololol. My mom found out immediately and got mad, so I started planning when to eat them over the week.

Tsumugi Takanashi: When you're a kid, you take snack times really seriously, don't you? Lol

Tsumugi Takanashi: It wasn’t ice cream in my case, but when my dad bought me a tin of cookies, I would get excited and carefully choose which one to eat each day.

Touma Inumaru: So you actually stuck to the plan? That's impressive!

Tsumugi Takanashi: Well... sometimes I couldn’t resist and secretly ate two at once… > <

Touma Inumaru: We're all the same lolololol

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Tsumugi Takanashi: By the way, I saw on the morning show that you're going to appear in the "Send-Off with an Idol's Smile!" segment!

Touma Inumaru: Thank you! I'm just a guest for a week, so I'm going to do my best to leave a good impression.

Tsumugi Takanashi: It's a popular segment, so I think it will have a big impact…!

Tsumugi Takanashi: I often hear how people are thrilled to receive a "Have a great day!" from their favorite idol right after the weather forecast.

Touma Inumaru: I heard it gets a lot of buzz on social media with tags like "Today's XX-san" trending!

Tsumugi Takanashi: Yes, they make posts with the "I'm off now" tag right when the idols say, "Have a great day" on the show. It trends every morning!

Tsumugi Takanashi: I'm sure when you’re on, "#Today's_Inumaru-san" will be a hot topic.

Touma Inumaru: I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also a bit nervous lol

Touma Inumaru: Honestly, when I got the offer, I was really surprised. Like, me? Seriously? The people that come on this show have a fresh image that fits the morning vibe, so I wondered if my smile would be a good fit.

Touma Inumaru: The other day, I offered my hand to a kid who fell in front of me and he started crying lolol

Tsumugi Takanashi: Maybe he was just startled > <

Touma Inumaru: I don’t have a friendly face like Haru or Mina, so maybe I scared him. I was also wearing a hat pulled down low and a mask.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Perhaps it was because of that disguise...!

Touma Inumaru: Now that I think about it, I was also wearing sunglasses, so that might be it lol

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Tsumugi Takanashi: Riku-san also said that he feels he would be energized being sent off with Inumaru-san's smile.

Touma Inumaru: Rikuuuu!! He’s such a nice guy!!

Touma Inumaru: I’ll send him a Rabbit Chat later!

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Touma Inumaru: Actually, I wanted to thank you, Takanashi-san!

Tsumugi Takanashi: Eh, did I do something!?

Touma Inumaru: When you sent MEZZO" to the booth saying "Have a great day," it felt so fresh and warm. I thought it was really nice.

Touma Inumaru: I was like "I definitely have to learn from this!" and made sure to take mental notes lol

Tsumugi Takanashi: I’m honored you would say that > <

Touma Inumaru: Do you have any tips?

Tsumugi Takanashi: I haven't thought deeply about it, but I always try to convey a sense of "Do your best!" when I send them off.

Touma Inumaru: I see, so it's all about conveying that feeling. That's important!

Touma Inumaru: I hope I can send off the viewers with a feeling that energizes them too!

Tsumugi Takanashi:

End of Part 1.

[nightowl374art]

Hey,

-So I'm very excited to write this 'cause I've been meaning to do it for a while now. So yah here I go...

-I just love your art so so much! Like fr bro you give me so much joy with your fanarts. I haven't felt this attached to an artist and certain art style in a while but you bring it all back with what you're doing and I'm so extremely grateful. So y'know... Thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart.

-I love every piece you've made so far but I gotta say ... That one with the remake of the amazing Spider-Man 2 graduation was just out of this world. Andrew's spiderman is my favorite of the live action trio and I love that one part so much! But I gotta say... Take this as an idea lol... So there's one more part of that movie I deeply love. It's the part where Peter makes the "I love you" on a bridge and then takes Gwen and they make it up to each other... Can't help but see miles and Gwen do that as well. Like in the end of beyond like them getting together or like maybe Miles proposing like that IDK! Take my idea 💡!

-Ok so that's my fav fanart but I'm absolutely in love with their beautiful family! Their kids look so beautiful and them being together is something I treasure a lot! I love how you made the kids different then the comics and also the way you made Miles and Gwen! They look so good! I love Gwen's side braids and Miles haircut it's like... I don't see him doing it BUT I freaking love the spider detail in the side! I even told my friend that if I had my hair like Gwen someday I would add that detail! It looks so good! So perfect like chef's kiss! Also the first art I saw of their kids was that one with Peter B calling Miles and Gwen for having kids and them all just being like:

Max and Charlotte: who the hell is this dude?

Miles and Gwen: What the actual f-

Miles (dad): Idk who the hell you are but please don't touch my kids...

-I also love miles 42 and Gwen 42 art... It looks so cute and she looks hot as hell btw. I also find it very funny when they are having a double date with miles 1610 and Gwen 65. They look adorable ... So different but very refreshing I really like it!

-Look like I mentioned I'm beyond have and grateful that you're making art like this... It's not just the art or the art style but the impact it made me! You're very talented and special! I can't wait for more beautiful art from you. I hope you're getting all the support you deserve and that you're doing well! Never stop smiling and have a nice day/night!

-Hope you get to read this soon and sorry for being so long! But this is just a fraction of what I was meaning to tell you so yah....

-Thank you for everything and for your time! Bye❤️🌻🫂🕸️

I am always amazed when people say these kind of things to me. It means everything to me to know I can bring even just a little bit of joy to someone through my passion, so I would like to say thank you to you 💕.

Agreed. Andrew is my favorite version of Peter, the vibe of his movies really speak to me. I love the scene you’ve mentioned, but it breaks my heart because of Gwen’s fate. However I would love to do that for Miles and Gwen. Right now I’ve got a lot of pieces in progress, so don’t expect it right away, but if I find a chance to do it I will ✨

I really enjoyed drawing their kiddos and had every intention of drawing them differently from the comics. I wanted to do my own interpretation of their kids since the spiderverse style if different from the comics. I actually based Gwen’s braids on some of her concept art, I loved that look (it’s viking-ish which I dig) so I wanted to do something with it.

Though Miles and Gwen 42 are not exactly canon, I still love the idea of them and so I’m glad you have enjoyed what I have made.

Just so you know, I’m very moved by what you said and all your heartfelt thoughts about my art. It’s lovely to hear what you think and how it has given you joy. It’s all I could’ve asked for as an artist so I hope you know how grateful I am 🩷

[sidetrek]

Hi!

If you haven't heard it today, your artwork is amazing. I love it so much!

I submitted a fill for the K/S Spring Fever event centered around City on the Edge of Forever. While I was writing, I had your Gumroad exclusive piece "trekspiece.feb" up in another window as added inspiration.

Thanks for unknowingly keeping the vintage 1930's Spirk vibes warm for me while I worked! Your work is an inspiration!

Have a fantastic weekend!

oh thank you! I really appreciate hearing this, that means a lot! 🥲😭 ooohhh cotef, beloved. I've actually been slowly, slowly chipping away at another cotef piece, and have been turning over thoughts of a longer cotef comic for a long time, not that i'm sure i'll ever get to it! I don't know if you're familiar with the OG teleplay from Harlan Ellison (they made a graphic novel of it), but there are some CHOICE lines that Spock says to Kirk. One is when Spock confronts Kirk on how close Kirk's getting to Edith Keeler and of course at the end when Spock tells Kirk they could spend some time together on Vulcan where are there silver birds that sing so sweetly. I think the revised version we got on screen is actually superior, but I feel like some of those other scenes were great to poke and challenge Kirk and Spock's relationship. I'm dying to incorporate them into a cotef comic where Edith's presence and love exposes the love Kirk knows he has for Spock but cannot act on, and the futility of the situation with Keeler plus Kirk and Spock being trapped together so closely makes Spock demand answers from Kirk. so much potential for angst omg 🤌 and eventual desperate kissing, if u know me lol anyway sorry but i LOVE cotef and cotef-adjacent thoughts, and I'm so glad that you enjoyed that piece and are also still playing in that space! Can you also please drop a link to the fic? I'd love to read it!

[that-student-that-has-homework]

Heyy, I’ve been reading your wonderful one piece works for a while — and I couldn’t stop wondering how are you actually doing those magnificent headers?

Like… hello? The great quality, with additional 3D-alike details I could catch by my eyes? I got only Ibis Paint X on mobile, since I’m only a young man that literally two months ago went on a life-time ‘adventure’ of living alone in a small apartment.

In short — I got no money to pay for additional graphics/drawing programs, not yet at least

Hello!

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my writing - I'm curious to know what's your favorite piece / part? Also I'm so happy you like my headers? Makes it feel worth it to spend time on them! :D

I have excellent news for you, I used a mix of Canva and Photopea. They're both FREE!

I'll be explaining the process for making these two kinda? The full tutorial is below the cut, to be courteous to the other folks, hope you don't mind?

Though I am hearing that Canva has given people some grief. But Photopea is just *chefs kiss*

If you've ever used photoshop, Photopea is essentially a free photoshop, and it even has the automation tools! An absolute lifesaver when you have multiple layers you want to export (but that's for larger projects not this)

I'm going to assume you have basic knowledge of layers in digital drawing programs for this. If anything isn't clear: ask me, I'll clarify!

//-------------------------------------------------

My General Process is:

Search for official art / images

bring it into canva / photopea

crop / arrange images to match the dimensions

select a thematic color that is associated with the character

separate the foreground from the background

mess around and test things until they work

//--------------------------------------------------

Given "Louder than Words" is the latest one I've made, I'll start with the process for it.

Dimensions: 3000 x 1055 px dpi: 96

//-------------------------------------------

Let's Get Crackin'

Alright let's grab some official art so we're not using any fanart without the artist's permission

I try to pick images that feel relevant enough to what I'm trying to make. For example: the image for the Matching banner shows the ASCE tattoo which is super important in that fic

2. Let's arrange them onto a banner where each individual image has the same/similar dimensions to the rest

That's probably part of why you like these. To a certain extent they have similar dimensions, so they have a uniformity that's pleasing to the eye! (It's not perfect because I threw perfectionism to the wind because this is tumblr not my portfolio) Tip: if you have 3 images and only 2 that have similar dimensions, and the 3rd one can't be cropped logically: but the one that's a different aspect ratio in the middle!

3. lets arrange them in such a way that the borders all feel like they're the same/equal width/thickness

you might find that you have to shrink some images for this, that's fine.

ALTERNATIVELY: if you're going with one image crop it so it's just the relevant info and it matches the dimensions (3000 x 1055 px)

We have our base! Now let's add some color, and direct the viewer's eye together!

4. pick out a color that you think matches your character / vibe - that color is going to be your background Given I'm making an Ace banner: orange is the color I'm going with

I went and named my layers for this lol. The numbers represent the opacity, and they aren't important. I just kept changing the opacity until I liked the way things looks. But here's the secret to the 3D feel:

Motionblur (+ moving it about)

Separating the foreground and background and dulling out the background.

I'm going to show you my process so you can see the effects, but first let's give you some quick skills:

//------------------------------------

SKILLS / THINGS I THINK ARE HELPFUL

//------- Select Similar

magic wand -> select something -> right-click -> select similar This works best when you have high contrast images (like manga panels that are black and white). You can select the black or the white areas. Depending on what works better for you. TIP! Invert selections with ctrl + i Say you know that you want to select everything but Ace's face in the second panel. Select his face with the magic wand then ctrl + i, and that's the only thing NOT selected

TIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please, please, please, duplicate your original image and work on the duplicate layer. This helps you SO much. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIP! Check your selection tolerance! This could be why too little, or too much is being selected.

//------- The Move Tool

Shortcut key: v While the move tool is active, you can nudge the stuff on whatever layer with your arrow keys Shift + arrow key = 10 px move (generally)

//------- Layer Locking

1- Layer Blending Mode (see Overlay vs Multiply vs Normal) for how this can affect results) 2- Opacity: how see through it is / isn't 3- Lock Transparency (it's the little checker board) 4- Lock Layer (looks like a lock) 5- Lock icon that appears when anything on the layer has been locked More on 3 Lock Transparency: You can only paint on / modify what's on that layer. You CANNOT add anything to any area that is already transparent Here's a demo of what you can do with this power:

Here's the original Image - notice how it's just the lineart with a transparent background.

It's powerful: abuse it

//------- Overlay vs Multiply vs Normal

I think seeing this is the best way to visualize how different modes can affect the color.

//--------------------------------

Back to the Tutorial

!!I IMPORTANT NOTE !!

Please play around with the opacity slider to figure out what opacity works best for you on the multiple different layers we're about to make / work with. It's up to your own style to figure this out. Next: please feel free to not follow all of it. Add more layers, add less layers, take the base principles and go wild! :D

5. Separate the lineart from the background and save it as a new layer 6. Duplicate it and set it to overlay, or set it to overlay immediately

7. Duplicate that lineart layer twice and set the blending mode to overlay 8. lock transparency on the top one and change it to be a dark grey 9. Apply motion blur to both:

Main menu bar -> Filter -> Motion Blur I made it so that the grey layer was blurrier than the black layer

10. More them around a little to give it a "3D effect" as you called it.

It creates shadows under the lines - I was aiming for an effect similar to chromatic aberration (chromatic aberration is a valid way to add punch to your stuff too!)

So this is what things look like now - painful, but let's keep going

11. Duplicate the ORIGINAL / BASE lineart layer, that you DID not apply motion blur to -> set the blend mode to multiply (reduce opacity for it to actually take effect)

okay that's less painful here's what the layers look like right now:

let's bring more focus to Ace's face, and push the background farther away:

12. Use the magic wand tool to quickly select large areas of the faces / focal area / foreground and the lasso tool to refine things

TIP! Hold shift + click -> add to selection Hold Alt + click -> subtract from selection

13. On a new layer with blending mode -> lighten, fill that selection to be white

If you look at it, you'll notice that it is ALREADY starting to draw our attention to his face, but the background is kinda aggressive, so let's dim that down

TIP! Right-click on the gradient tool to find the paint-bucket tool

TIP! Sample All Layers: Turning this option off makes it so that you only work with the content on THAT specific layer. Turning it on makes it so that it is working while taking all other layers into consideration.

14. ctrl + click on the "white foreground" layer to select the contents of that specific layer (pink thing is your mouse)

15. ctrl + i to invert selection and ON A NEW LAYER (layer mode -> multiply) fill that with a complementary color

16. I did one last thing where I took the original base (before we separated the lineart) and added it to the very top and played with the opacity to get something less in your face (layer blend mode was set to NORMAL)

And that's it!

More considerations that I take:

I want the banner to be "thin" or not square, so it doesn't take up too much screen real estate on people's devices

I don't want readers having to scroll too much to get to my writing (which is the whole point of the post, let's not waste their time making them look for things)

I want the banner content to be relevant enough?

ie: with Matching: I wanted the ASCE tattoo to be visible. With matching I wanted Ace to not look too happy in some of them.

I'm also trying to avoid spoilers, I hated getting things spoiled, so I'm trying to be careful that the images I pick don't spoil anything really.

Congrats on starting life on your own! I did that whole living by myself thing too! Tip: keep the pantry stocked with lentils, beans, pastas, baking essentials, rice. They really come in a clutch when you're hungry.

[strawberryfairi]

Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

Pairings: Photography Student! Shuji Hanma X Dance Major! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Drama, lots of denial, angst, sneaky link, lots of cheating, mutual pining, unserious Shuji, controlling parents, forced relationships, romance, fighting, porn with a good plot vibes, intense sexual tension, etc (just find out the rest lol)

w.c: 5.1k💠 Released: March 20, 2024

Previous | Next | Chapters Masterlist

NOTE: I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter! I really want to focus on making this story a nice balance between smut and also having a genuine plot which honestly makes this one a bit hard. But I'm glad to see y'all are liking it anyways❤︎

C.W: None

6; Fatigue 疲劳

You wake up the next morning completely sore, everything was aching, reminding you of the intense events of last night. Hanma is fast asleep, laying with an arm lazily slung around your waist, the majority of your body on top of his.

The both of you looked tangled together, from the way your legs intertwined to the way the sheets wrapped around different limbs oddly. Y'all had knocked each other the hell out.

You let out a small, tired moan, attempting to move out of his grasp so you could check the time. Where did you even leave your phone? Thanks to the literal entanglement you were in, you couldn't move at all without potentially waking him up. You pursed your lips, feeling a little bad that you'd have to bother him, he looks so peaceful, cute even, while sleeping. His hair hanging lazily over his forehead, expression completely calm, and his chest slowly rises and falls in a steady rhythm. You catch yourself staring, blinking a few times as you snap yourself out of it.

Let's not forget you do still have a boyfriend...

"Hanma..." You mutter, much too soft for him to hear. You try again, this time nudging his shoulder a bit. He stirs but doesn't really wake up fully, tightening his hold around you as he turns on his side. "Oh, no!" You whisper, trying not to laugh. Now he has you smushed to his chest, his legs weighing over top of yours.

"Hanma! Uh uh, you gotta wake up. My legs!" You finally crack, giggling a little as you shake his shoulder. He groans opening one eye a bit, looking down at you.

"Mmm, what?" He mumbles tiredly, his voice all raspy.

"I gotta see what time it is; and you're crushing me." You tap his shoulder lightly, trying to move.

"Mm mm." He grunts, not moving even an inch..

"What'chu mean 'mm mm'? I have classes today!"

He ignores you, closing his eye again.

"Come on! I can't miss my classes." You urge him, shaking him again.

He let's out an annoyed groan, flipping over onto his back and letting go of you. You smile innocently at him then drag yourself out of bed. "Oh! Oh my gosh!" You grunt out in pain, falling backwards onto the bed. Your body was not having it. Everywhere ached, especially the lower half of you, not allowing you to move fluidly at all.

"This is not good." You mutter, attempting to get up much more cautiously this time.

Friday's were unfortunately a busy day in your week. Starting the morning off with a nine a.m. body conditioning pilates class, then an hour break for breakfast before you have to head to your Classical Ballet III course. After that, two hours later is straight to Black Aesthetic in American Modern Dance, then you'd have to get to practice for the upcoming The Gypsy ballet audition.

In other words, you couldn't afford to miss today. You get yourself up and start searching for your phone, massaging your arms and legs as the cold air hits you. You find your phone sitting by your duffel bag on twenty three percent. Hitting the lock button you check the time.

11:09am

3 Missed Calls Big K💖

Imessage Big K💖

"Shhhhhit." You whisper, facepalming. Not only did you already completely miss your first class, you haven't responded to not a single call or text from Ken. You only had a short slot of time to first get to your dorm then shower, eat, get dressed, and head over to your Ballet technique class, all while trying to calm Ken down from being inevitably pissed with you. There's no way you're gonna be able to do all that within the hour.

"What's up with you? Why're you up so early?" Hanma furrows his brows.

"'Cause I have classes! Do you not have classes on Friday's?" You look at him like he's crazy, brows furrowed deeply.

"I do. Just not as soon as the damn sun rises." He replies, running a hand through his hair.

"It's eleven in the morning; almost the afternoon." You narrow your eyes at him.

"Oh shit." His expression falls in realization as he sits up in bed.

Gosh what a mess. Your hair is probably looking wild, your body's completely exhausted, and you have lots to do today...all involving high intensity body movement. You hadn't spoken to Ken all day yesterday, so you already knew he'd be wanting to hear from you at some point today too. The worst part about Ken is that not even now is any sliver of guilt making its way into your heart. Maybe it's because the anger is still hot from what went down in your dorm the other day. Yeah, that's it, the guilt just hasn't kicked in yet.

"I don't know how I'm gonna get through today." You groan exasperatedly. To be honest you could lay in that bed and not wake up until tomorrow. That sounds perfect...

"I mean, you could always skip." He shrugs, still not even bothering to move out of bed.

"I already missed one class, I can't miss Ballet; and my teacher's pretty strict with showing up and showing up on time. I already know I'm gonna be late; and Ken's probably already pissed with me too..." You ramble anxiously.

💎

Classical Ballet III

It was so embarrassing coming into class late. Everyone was already locked in with warmups, spots chosen at the bars and doing the movements the professor called out. The way the other students were staring at you like you were some halfwitted creature for 'disrupting' the class didn't help at all. Why is ballet such a toxic world? You quickly scurry inside the studio room, placing your bag down and jumping out of your sweats and oversized hoodie, making your way to the bar in the front by the floor-to-ceiling mirror.

It hit you a few minutes before coming inside that you'd be showing off the piece by Bach that your professor assigned each of you to practice, Violin Concerto No. 1 in A Minor. Lord have mercy you weren't even close to being able to do it well. What a dumb idea last night was, you'd practically be torturing yourself for the rest of the day, and weekend if you get the call back for The Gypsy. Maybe that's what you get for cheating on your boyfriend? Is this the guilt finally kicking in?

"God help me..." You mumble, getting into the releve he'd just called out.

10 Mins Later

"No no, stop! You all were late on that jeté!" The professor stops the music, shaking his head annoyedly.

Before the professor turns the music back on he turns to you, the disappointment already made clear before he could even say a word. "You're missing your usual poise today. You alright?" He questions, tilting his head to the side.

"No yeah, I'm good! Just feeling a little sore." You reply awkwardly, getting yourself back into the starting position. Some of the students a few feet away from you start whispering and snickering to themselves. You knew they'd definitely came to the right kind of conclusion as to why you were feeling sore.

"Don't push yourself. Our bodies are powerful, but we can only withstand so much pressure." Mr. E states matter of factly, a look of concern making it's way onto his face. You nod with a slight frown. If you could miss a day of classes you would. But things just move way too quickly. You miss one class then all of a sudden a mountain of assignments and things just come at you out of nowhere. Yeah no, not for you. You fight passed the whines of discomfort your body throws your way, trying not to make any uncomfortable expressions as you go through the dance. This was only the assignment from last week, you hadn't even gotten to the Bach piece yet.

"Much better that time on that jeté! Alright, let's see who practiced the concerto!" He calls out.

Your heart sinks, this piece was not easy. He'd wanted to challenge you all last week since some of the students were slacking off with their overall technique. He's one of those professors where if one slacks off you all basically slacked off. The first five people go, none really impressing him all that much.

"Disappointing Riku; I expected better. Next." He shakes his head then gestures over to you with a hand. He already isn't happy with the class's overall performance of the piece, so you'd really have to get a grip.

You take a deep breath, getting into the starting position.

"Really pay attention to your balance during the sissone." Your professor instructs in a much softer tone. You nod then get back into character as the music starts. Immediately your thighs burn, and you prayed they wouldn't give out on you since your arms were already feeling like jelly. The piece was thankfully only three minutes and fifty one seconds, and you were able to get through it without any major disasters.

"Ok...good. Not great; but good. You're clearly fatigued. You barely made it through that sissone and arabesque." He completely read you, his tone matter of fact.

"I-..." You weren't really sure how to respond.

"Why don't you sit out, or head to the dancer's wellness center? I won't have a student breaking themselves under my watch."

You were truly grateful. Mr. E was a stern teacher, but he really does care for his students. You give him a soft "Ok, I guess I'll just go to the wellness area."

"Lemme give you a note." He says, holding a hand up. You gather your things at the back of the room then take the note. It was a little awkward with no music and all the other students just watching this go down. You practically limp your way out of the room, your body feeling even worse than before with forcing yourself to do all those intense movements. You make your way down the hall and to the stairs that lead down to the third floor to the wellness area, the dance studios are on the fourth. Right as you reach the staircase, a familiar voice calls out to you, making your heart stop.

"Ken?! What're you doing here?!" Your eyes go wide.

"I came to find you! You haven't answered a single text or call! The hell is wrong with you?!" He says angrily, stepping up close to you.

"Are you serious?! What makes you think I'd wanna be in the mood to talk to you after how you acted the other night?!" You scoff, continuing on down the stairs. Yeah that's good, just cover the rising guilt with anger. Of course he followed after you.

"Jesus babe, I don't even remember that." He rolls his eyes.

"I really can't with you right now Ken, like I'm not even in the mood." You shake your head, waving him off as you continue down the stairs.

"Can you just...stop for a damn second?!" He grumbles, reaching for your arm and stopping you halfway down the staircase.

You clench your jaw in annoyance, snatching your arm away while you wait for whatever the hell he was about to say.

"Look, I'm sorry alri-

"No, no you're not just gonna hit me with another sorry ass apology and brush it off. You were acting wild Ken! I should never have to call a friend to come get you after I ask you to leave my dorm!" You rant, eyes on fire with anger. "Aright alright. I apologize; I mean it." He says in a softer tone, looking you right in the eyes. You let out a dry laugh. "Changing it from I'm sorry to I apologize doesn't make it better, Ken. You're supposed to actually mean it through your actions, which you obviously don't. If you were really sorry you'd just stop getting crossed or high or whatever the hell it is you're doing. You know what'll happen if our parents catch you like that; if they catch our relationship looking shaky." You warn, your tone stern.

At this point you were seething. You couldn't risk getting kicked out of the school because Ken wants to go be an idiot and put a bad look on himself, and ultimately the two of you. "I-..I know, babe. I'll do better, I promise." He assures, leaning in to give you a kiss. You pull away instantly, like you were avoiding a punch to the face. "Don't promise, just do it, Ken." You grit, turning away from him and continuing on to the wellness center.

"There you go again, being the "boss girl", telling me what to do."

You stop in your tracks for a moment, Ken's intoxicated words suddenly coming to the forefront of your mind.

Now that he went and spilled his secret thoughts, you couldn't help but start to overthink a bit. You're not really the problem, right?

"You know what? He's getting crossed more because he's starting to lose his shit. That's why he feels like you think you're better than him. You don't fold under pressure like a bitch, getting drunk or high to ignore it all the time. You know what you want and you're always going after it no matter what, but Ryuguji? He's a fuckin' mess and he knows it. Let's be real, he's only playing football because his dad wants him to; he's the damn coach!"

But when did he start to lose his shit though? Why would it have anything to do with you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4 Days Later Tuesday Night 7:36pm

The past two days had been fairly breezy for no apparent reason, but honestly, after how the weekend went with Ken, you're not complaining. It was close to a train wreck, this past weekend. The two of you going back and forth arguing in the middle of a fairly upscale restaurant; his dad's money of course.

Allegedly, Emma saw you get into the car with Hanma that Thursday and told Ken, which of course made your heart sink to the floor. Not only that, but you couldn't help being a bit pissed at her for just assuming you were cheating all because you got into someone else's car that isn't Ken's.

Even though you were cheating....

Flashback

"Like I said the last time I asked about you getting into some other guys car, anything you wanna tell me about that?" Ken asks, his tone threatening and slightly dark. Your jaw clenches, more annoyed at the fact that you still get nervous about sneaking around with Shuji than anything else.

"If you must know, it was for a photoshoot that he asked-

"Wait, don't tell me it's that same photography student from before. Who is it?!" He cuts in, eyes narrowed. You could see the cogs turning in his mind as he leaned forward at the table. You huff, trying to keep your composure as you go to explain again.

"Yes, and it doesn't matter who it is Ken. I already know you're just gonna find him and try to-

"It does matter!" He outbursts, drawing immediate attention to the two of you. You scoff, brows raising as you lean back in your chair. People's eyes trailed across the room to both of you, discreetly murmuring and watching whatever scene was unfolding.

"Ok, first of all, stop cuttin' me off." You grit out, your own voice holding a low, threatening tone. "Second, I am not obligated to tell you every single thing I do and with who, just like you're not. Let's keep in mind the fact that I haven't pressed you about who you're getting these drugs you love so much from Ken; neither have I bothered to tell either of our parents about it. So let's keep things how we agreed to way back in the beginning. I mind my business and you mind yours." You criticize, keeping your eyes locked on his the entire time.

"Don't try to flip this shit around on me, I'm used to your bullshit mind games by now! The other day you were goin' on and on about me makin' us look bad in front of our parents, but baby if you're cheating on me, it'll be you that ruins our lives first, not me!" He fumes, pointing an accusatory finger your way. You roll your eyes, sighing as you shake your head.

"Mind games?! You're over here basing shit off a flimsy ass 'if' when I know for a fact you're using drugs! Have you thought about what happens when you need to do your next drug test?! Oh yeah, I guess not since you're too busy livin' large during your trips." You fumed.

Then Ken goes silent, sitting there with his jaw locked, looking off to the side.

"This isn't about who ruins either of our lives first Ken, this needs to be about us both keeping this fake ass relationship running as smoothly as possible, and lately you haven't been doing nothin' to help with that! I don't know what's been goin' on with you since you damn sure don't talk to me about your problems anymore, but what I do know for sure is that you need to get a goddamn grip! I do not have time for you to be fallin' a part at the seams and ruinin' your career because all of a sudden you're sooo unhappy to be in a fake relationship with me like this is a brand new occurence! I'm not happy about it either Ken, but I still get shit done! So tighten the fuck up, and shake whatever is going on with you off; right now!" You argue, your gaze blazing hot as you peer into his eyes.

Ken shakes his head, a genuinely hurt look on his face.

"You just don't get it..." He grumbles lowly, crossing his arms over his chest.

End Flashback

Tonight you have practice with the girls for an upcoming basketball game, teaching them a new dance along with just standard practice to the songs they already know. In small groups and individually the girls start to file into the large studio room, taking off their sweats and getting semi prepared to dance.

You're currently in the women's locker room, getting your mind out of ballet from your class about forty five minutes ago and into your contemporary dance mindset, changing into your workout clothes. You were wearing a cute hot pink pair of workout shorts, and a white sports bra. Your water bottle also cutely matched your outfit as it's also pink with your name written around it in a lavender shade of purple. Very girly.

You make your way out of the locker room and over to the water fountain just a few feet away from the door. Taking a random deep breath, you sit the water bottle onto the fountain, letting the automatic fountain do it's thing and fill it up.

"H-hey, hello there-

"OH MY GOD-you scared the shit out of me; what the fuck..." Your voice goes from practically screaming to a whisper as you look to the right of you at whoever just spoke. Your water bottle falling over to the side from the way you bumped into the fountain when you jumped.

"Oh, I'm-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He stammers, grabbing your water bottle just before it could fall to the ground, some water splashing around and onto the floor unceremoniously. "Uhh, it's all good...?" You trail off a bit awkwardly, your eyes unintentionally looking him over up and down. You've never seen this dude before in your life, you're positive.

He's wearing pretty basic clothes, a red plaid button up top with dark wash jeans and converse shoes on, also wearing black square glasses. His dark hair is sort of medium length, maybe reaching a few inches past his ears just hanging down lazily. A very nerdy look for sure. The guy just stares at you as if dazed, not saying a word...and freaking you out instantly.

"Did you wanna talk to me or...?" You trail off again, trying with every fiber of your being not to sound rude and/or look at him like he was a weirdo even though that's kinda what he's giving. "I-oh I'm so sorry! I just-...I-I've always seen you around here and...well I was hoping you'd let me take you out on a date sometime? Get to know each other?" He says sheepishly, his dark brown eyes shifting all over the place before looking back at you. Your jaw nearly hits the floor, but you quickly catch it, trying to keep your composure together as your mind replays his words over and over.

"Uuuuum-

"Oh wait wait! I forgot to introduce myself! My name's Fumihiro Miyagawa; hi." He says, giving you his hand to shake. Not even a split second later he retracts his hand, then changes his mind again and extends it. You purse your lips, just standing there watching as he goes back and forth.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you Miyagawa." You smile politely, finally shaking his hand.

"S-so, would you wanna...?" He trails off, still holding your hand. You bite your tongue, feeling uncomfortable that he wasn't letting go yet. Even though it's been just a few minutes speaking to him, something felt off.

"Well I'm really flattered you're asking me out, but I actually have a boyfriend." You tell him, your tone apologetic. Miyagawa's expression falls instantly, almost dark looking as your response sinks in. There's a heavy silence that comes and hovers over the two of you as you try to let go of the handshake and retract your hand. For a second his grip tightens, making your heart abruptly leap in your chest, but it calms as he finally lets your hand go.

"Oh", He says dryly, "That's too bad, I guess." His tone softens up now, along with his expression.

"I'm sorry." That was all you could even think to say as your mind was thinking of one thing and one thing only, getting very far away from this guy.

You hear the water from the fountain start to overflow from your bottle, ripping you out of the severely awkward conversation. "I actually gotta go now. I have dance practice." You say, already heading off down the hall to the studio room as you screw the cap onto the water bottle.

"Whaaaaaaat the hell was that?" You whisper to yourself.

Once you get into the studio room, you leave that random, borderline creepy conversation behind, getting into serious mode.

"Heeey! How's the day been?" Emma beams, coming up to your from the front center of the room. You swallow your emotions towards her and keep it professional, keep it chill. "Hey girl! It's been pretty good. What's goin' on with you?" You ask softly, giving her a small smile.

"Honestly, this has been some of the best couple of days I've ever had." She sighs blissfully.

These past couple days? The same couple of days that consisted of some of the worst arguments you've ever had with Ken in the entire time of knowing him? An argument that was ultimately caused because Emma went and ran her mouth to him? Something about her words had just hit you in all the wrong ways, making you feel a little skeptical.

"Oh, well that's good. Wish I could say the same." You chuckle, trying to make it sound as lighthearted as possible.

"You always get your stress out through dance practice though! That's your thing!" She pats your shoulder, before heading off ahead of you to the front of the studio. Your eyes couldn't help but narrow at her as she saunters off like a dandelion in the damn wind.

Somethin' ain't sitting right....

33 Minutes Later

"I need just a bit more carefreeness from you, Himari! Your technique though is looking great, but I think you're thinking too hard about it. It's great, so now just focus on balancing the technique with-

You pause, losing your train of thought as you follow the girls in the far left side of the rooms wandering eyes through the floor-to-ceiling mirror. As soon as you turn towards the studio doors, someone walks in, and it's Hanma. All of a sudden, he just...appears.

"What-..." You trail off, trying not to react in a way that made the girls skeptical of you.

The girls immediately start murmuring and gasping about how 'gorgeous' and 'hot' he is as he struts inside like he owns the place, an infuriatingly smug grin plastered across his lips.

"Uhhh, can I help you with something?" You call out from your side of the room, trying with everything in you to sound like you've never met him before, pausing the music and placing your hands on your hips as he makes his way to you.

"Do-..do you know him?!" Emma whispers over to you.

"Hell no." You answer shortly, keeping your eyes fixed on Hanma.

"Yes she does." He chuckles deviously.

"No I-..you do realize we're in the middle of a rehearsal, right?" You sass.

"And do you realize you've been avoiding me for-

"GAAAAAH! Outside, right now!" You outburst abruptly, hollering over him so the girls wouldn't hear what he was about to say. You purse your lips together in embarrassment, practically speed walking to the studio doors as he slowly followed behind you.

"Y'all, just give me one second, ok? I'm so sorry." You apologize, facepalming before shutting the door.

"Shuji Hanma, what in the hell is wrong with you?!" You whisper yell.

He chuckles, backing up until his back is against the white painted wall. "You haven't been answering my texts for days, so I was worried. Wanted to make sure you didn't go and die on me or somethin'." He says coolly.

"So you bust in my rehearsal?! How'd you even figure out where-..you know what, doesn't matter, what do you want?" You facepalm.

"First, I wanna know why you're avoiding me again." He says nonchalantly, raising a finger.

"Uhh, because I have a boyfriend, and that said boyfriend has been up my ass all weekend starting arguments about you!" You point a finger to his chest. "I wanna be up your ass..." He mumbles playfully. You huff in immediate annoyance, ignoring his idiotic statement. "I'm trying to save my ass and yours by not being around you or texting you. None of it."

"Saving my ass, huh?" He smirks.

"Yeah! You should be grateful, to be honest, since Ken was just about ready to-

"So you care about me, doll?" He raises a brow, looking down at you with a completely unserious expression. "W-What?! What is going on?!" You shake your head, heart skipping a beat for a second as your mind makes sure you heard him right.

He goes to open his mouth again but you cut him off, already knowing he was just gonna say something dumb. "Be serious! I care about not having my relationship fall apart and all my "sins" bein' laid out for the whole freakin' school to see!" You rant, throwing your hands up in the air exasperatedly.

"All of a sudden you care about your relationship?" He questions, raising a brow. "It's not all of a sudden, I've cared the whole time." You scrunch your face up. "Now you know that's bullshit, doll. You couldn't even look me in the eyes when you said that." He pressed. He wasn't wrong, you really didn't care, but you had to care all at the same time.

"What're you here for, Hanma? For real." You grumble, looking back up at him with as stern of an expression and voice you could muster.

"That leads me to the second thing I want. You, in my bed with me, tonight. Right after your cute little dance rehearsal." He purrs sensually, taking your chin with his fingers.

"No." You deadpan, swatting his hand away.

"Your bed?" He shrugs plainly.

"No! Absolutely not! Did you tune out everything I just said like five seconds ago?! This whole thing, with you and me, is done now alright? We hooked up once, we're not doing it again; that was a one time thing!" You say with finality, gesturing between the two of you. He raises a brow, completely unfazed and slightly amused by your rant.

"A one time thing; I'm serious." You add for good measure.

"Are you? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you said something veeerry similar the last time." He says lowly, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you closer.

"I'm actually deadass serious, that's how serious I am." You narrow your eyes halfheartedly, placing your hands on his chest to keep yourself from being pulled any closer. You were already starting to feel yourself cracking under his gaze. "Sooo, you're tellin' me you really don't think about how good I had you feelin'? You don't ever think about doing it again?" He questions softly, leaning down so his lips were just a few inches from yours. You huff, trying to maintain your resolve, clenching your jaw as your eyes flicker downwards towards his tempting pink lips for a second. Of course you think about it. The flashbacks have been absolutely torturous.

But for the sake of the "relationship" you've got going on with Ken, you'd have to let Hanma go now. "I'm telling you...that that was the first and last time we-

Hanma cuts you off, closing the slight gap and pressing his lips against yours. That was the last straw. The small, shaky piece of resolve you had left just crumbled into nothing. Instantly it's like you're transported back to last Thursday at his place, up against that wall while he sets your whole body ablaze with his dangerous kisses. You melt, sliding your hands up to place one on his neck and the other on his shoulder. Gosh, he must think you're so easy, just a few words in that sexy low tone topped off with a kiss and you're putty in his hands. He has you completely wrapped around his finger. You pull away slowly, your mind finally made up.

"I'll be done at ten, take me to your place." You murmur sensually against his lips before leaning in for another quick kiss. "Oh, and since you came and interrupted my 'cute little dance rehearsal', I'm gonna use your shower first...while you make me a nice dinner." You add with a semi smug grin, running your thumb along his bottom lip.

"You askin' or tellin' me, angel?" He raises a brow, tone dripping with lust. "Requiring actually." You clarify flirtatiously, turning away and heading back towards the studio doors. "Damn. Well somehow I happen to be very turned on by that." He chuckles lightly in surprise.

"Glad you're discovering new things about yourself", You chuckle lightly, "Bye Shuji."

Your eyes go wide, heart skipping a beat in your chest. Shuji. You just called him Shuji...

[cto10121]

You mentioned in the tags of one of your posts on Mercutio's (non-existant) sexuality that you're partial to the idea that he may have been inspired by Kit Marlowe; I want to hear all about this lol.

Also, do you have an Marlowe recommendations? I've heard good things so I would like to read some of his plays.

Oh, yeah, my Christopher-Marlowe-may-have-been-the-inspiration-for-Mercutio theory! Glad to talk about it.

So I’m definitely not the only one with this theory—some scholars have mused as much and I did come across them. But the case for Mercutio-as-Marlowe stands roughly as follows:

One of Marlowe’s nicknames was Mercury (!!). Now, Shakespeare clearly did not come up with the name, as he got it from his source material in Brooke et al. But as the Mercutio there was just some random courtier, I have no doubt that Shakespeare got an eyeful of that name in the Brooke poem and just 😏 and seized that golden opportunity to honor his friend in this way

By all accounts Marlowe was charming, erudite, intellectually edgy (an avowed Arianist and homosexual), with a nasty bit of a temper. Mercutio is much along those same lines

Marlowe and Shakespeare may have been friends as well as theater rivals, with similar backgrounds but (I suspect) opposite personalities and sensibilities—the iconoclastic Marlowe with the much milder Shakespeare. You see that same push-pull dynamic in Romeo and Mercutio’s relationship.

Mercutio was killed during his duel with Tybalt. Marlowe was killed while fighting with his fellow spies at a tavern/government safehouse in Deptford. So Shakespeare making Mercutio’s death off-stage may be a reference to Marlowe’s out-of-London death (and perhaps how Will came to find out).

So yeah, not much evidence, come to think of it. Just general vibes. Mercutio does have lines about dreams that are a reference to Thomas Nash, who was also friends with Marlowe and perhaps Shakespeare as well. But of course Shakespeare would make Mercutio a composite of his friends and not just limit himself to any ~one thing.

Against this is the fact that there is no clear evidence that Shakespeare and Marlowe knew each other. That said, the theater world was tiny and Marlowe wrote for Strange’s Men; Shakespeare may have been a player for them at the time. But it’s logical for many fangirls scholars to believe they knew each other and were friends/rivals and so forth.

As for recommendations, I’ve only ever read Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus, which even got a Globe performance, and his Hero and Leander, a narrative poem along the lines of Shakespeare’s Venus and Adonis. I’m ashamed to admit that in class I mistook a passage from Hero for Shakespeare’s, an ignominy that will live in me forever until my dying breath.

But while Marlowe was never as great at character as Shakespeare, his verse was very good (if a little too regular with the masculine endings) and nigh indistinguishable from Shakespeare’s in the beginning. Also, Marlowe is 1000x gayer, even writing about Edward II and his forbidden romance with his favorite Gaveston. Hence his popularity in fangirl circles. If you like Shakespeare but feel he could have been more violent, political, and gay, Marlowe will be right up your alley. There have been tons of fanfiction about him, some notable ones of which are:

The Marlowe Papers (Barber)—author is a stupid anti-Stratfordian, but her verse is legit

A Tip for the Hangman (Epstein)—not feeling the main romance, but it was fun and well-researched

The Secret Life of Shakespeare (Morgan)—actually focusing on Will/Anne, but this version of Marlowe is my favorite. He is just as I’ve envisioned him

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies about recent posts!

Anonymous asked:

Hello Ryu!!  I hope you're having a great...whatever time it is for you!  And I hope you're taking care of yourself!  Your posts are one of the highlights of my day!  No matter if they're art or replies.

And um, if it's ok, idk how we ask this, but would you put  that recent-ish Skully fanart on your Ko-fi please?  The one with the pumpkin?  I hope I'm not being rude.  I adore your fanart.  And Skully.  And Skully in your art style. 

Anyway you're one of my fave fanartists!  Have a great rest of the day!

Anon, this is so incredibly sweet, thank you so much! I am very happy to hear that you enjoy this blog and that it makes your day a little better. It truly means a lot.

To answer your question: YES, ABSOLUTELY, I just added it to the shop!! I am extremely happy to hear that you liked that drawing!

Also just in case: you are not being rude! I don’t update the shop very often because I am not sure if people are interested in new high-res pngs, so you expressing that you’d like to have it is super helpful. So if you ever want me to put anything else there, just let me know in any way you want – an ask, a DM, anything.

Anonymous asked:

OOh LOVE the new theme and pfp! 💚

I really adore how you do colors and lighting! So pretty~

Anonymous asked:

OH GOD! A LAYOUT CHANGE!

How Shocking, How Scandalizing... I fear I may never recover!

Hehe thank youuuu~ I’m glad to hear you like it! >:3c It’s Sebastian 2.0!

Katsu suddenly suggested to redraw the pfp, so I did it, and we updated the layout a little bit to match it. I don’t recognise myself in our feed anymore lol

Anonymous asked:

Thank you for answering my ask! For me personally it’s that past experiences has made my relationship with anything nsfw or sexual very very confusing and emotional, but I don’t wanna be like this forever. I think maybe art could be a good way to try and sort through it but it feels hard to start. I think part of what you said could be the start though, that it doesn’t have to be anything big or even show genitalia.

Thank you very much! -💜🌹

(this is related to this post)

No problem, Anon!

I understand what you mean; your past experiences could make you very hesitant to do things even if you really want to do them and they are not harmful to anyone, or to have bad associations and even triggers. Figuring out your level of comfort also could be more difficult if you are still influenced by the consequences of those past experiences… Still, I think it’s wonderful that you want to work on that and to make yourself feel better and more comfortable, to clear things up for yourself – I don’t doubt for a moment that you will be able to handle it, even if it takes time.

Starting with little steps is great I think, it’s like dipping your toes before diving in.

I wish you all the luck and patience in the world.

Anonymous asked:

Fem Azul is having a stroke at beach basketball Jamil.

(related to this Jamil drawing)

Yeah… a regular stroke and a heatstroke! That’s too much for a poor mermaid’s heart :”(

Anonymous asked:

I need Che'nya to screw Riddle til he's drooling and whining. A little fun to de-stress. I wish there was more stuff about them ;-;

Anon you are so right, there really is almost no stuff with these two!! Such a shame!!

Like you said, Che’nya would be great for Riddle in terms of de-stress. Sometimes this boy needs to get fucked until he can’t even stand and speak properly anymore…

I should draw them at some point, sigh.

Anonymous asked:

I read your most recent set of replies and got curious as to how Unsweetened Lemonade applies to Malleus and Lilia. Could you go into more depth about that, if you don't mind?

To be honest, Anon, I don’t really have a lot to say about it, I’m basing it off vibes for the most part lol

Bittersweetness + disappointment, the feeling of tiredness, of cheating death, “a winner but at what cost” type of feeling. I could be completely wrong, of course.

Once again, I am not the best person to tie songs with characters, or at least I never dive too deep into it and don’t usually analyse lyrics, just do the “well if you squint” thing.