#glad i got to experience it again
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not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)
#who needs romance when i can watch two narrative foils painfully tolerate each other's existence#bonus points if they are forced to Work Together To Solve A Problem#and they end up working surprisingly well together!#they make a surprisingly effective team!#they even confide some backstory with each other & bond a bit & understand each other better#and when it's all over they shake hands & amicably agree that they still cannot fucking stand each other#'this was an interesting sidequest & I'm glad we got to experience it.#but all things considered i genuinely never want to see your face again'#Enemies to Chained-Up-In-An-Abandoned-Bathroom-Together#to Enemies#two stray cats forced to share a cat carrier for a trip to the vet
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sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH
bonus
#pokemon#trainer lyra#rival silver#soulsilvershipping#timeskip tag#bao beis#i had so much more planned. but alas. college.#ANYWAY. sss my everything. ohh. always thinking abt them.#this is very obviously lyra's room! all the pink! massive bed to fit all her pokemon! the champion paycheck gets you that much at least#and plants!!! no. 1 horticulturist in johto#she's living somewhere around the base of mt silver... decently close to the league and her hometown#so i like to imagine her with a huge greenhouse so she can take care of plants even in the harsher climate#meanwhile silver has one of those decrepit malelivingspace flats in viridian. he's making it work.#i can only see sss properly moving in together liiiike in their late 20s#after they get to enjoy young adult independence for a while#but before they permanently settle down they should go on silly adventures again... just once. or twice. or#as much as i like to entertain the thought of them being homebodies i think they'd rather spend their lives travelling haha#since silver never got to fully experience it as a kid on the run#being a wanted man and all#and lyra is itching for the getaway#they deserve to be in nature and responsibility-free and *frothing at the mouth*#BTW i put my whole wyvussy into that wall decor#lisia signed poster... rosa's resemblance as mei(!!!) in the totoro one... bell tower + whirl island pics //#pokemon constellations... and those gen 4 mail templates that no one actually used. probably from dawn. champion penpals :]#i debated doing a lance poster because celebrity idol funny but nah she'd bin that immediately after moving out#oh yeah the drawover was um. inspired by the nonebinary neochamp fit. so happy for my son.#i'm glad i managed to finish the big piece in time otherwise i would've just posted that LOL can you imagine#okey bye happy sss day
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?
he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.
#bound with thread | original posts#letters in verse | talking#g'raha tia#crystal exarch#hello everyone i am being Incredibly Normal about g'raha tia at -checks time- 12:02 am#you ever think about the fact that arr g'raha is basically killed/replaced when the exarch wakes up in 5.3. because i do. a lot#hi i have brainworms over this man he's SO tragic and i need to hold him gently in my hands like how you cradle a small trembling kitten#genuinely happy about his character growth and progression and happy ending and all but arr g'raha was the one who grabbed my focus#and i do miss a lot of that character sometimes yknow? post-shb g'raha isn't the same person as arr g'raha and that's intentional‚ i think‚#because he has gone through so much that we didn't see. so much trauma and pain because of the 8th umbral era and that loss he got hit with#and he's not the same person because he's *had* to change so much to keep himself and his people alive and i'm glad he's getting to#experience life to the fullest in endwalker onwards but just. i miss arr g'raha yknow#honestly the silliest thing about it is i miss his student of baldesion tattoo. was a fun little design element you know.#show us the tattoo again squeenix. give him back his red eyeshadow that he had.#give him his bow back i am begging#this has been: incomprehensible ramblings from simon at 12 at night
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Man am I glad I got all this modding background and vibes thanks to cyberpunk cause trying to get into DA/Frosty modding for the past. what, 2 days only? Already been unpleasant LMAO
And not because its not working or not possible to mod atm, but because of the frosty tool makers fhjdjg
No wonder people are scared to get into modding, you get mocked for not knowing how a tool work, you get turned down for asking questions or needing help?
It's bad and it happens in every modding scenes uh 💀
"Here's a wip tool that requires a key that nobody here will give you, also stop asking"
And this bonkass interaction I had with the developper
BONKER SHIT FJFJG
Literally got a DM later from someone who also wanted to use the tool but was too scared to ask
💀🤌 Nice job you guys!
#thats so sad why are they so aggresive dude fhjdjg#tools makers and their ego man#Big Modders in general can be fucking rancid with their shit#touch grass and try to be kind idk#blah blah#dav modding#that discord is public btw so anyone can see that convo if they want nothing private here#and again im glad I got Experience tm dealing with those type of persons through cp77 cause this shit can turn off any excitement#about getting into a new hobby - lile this shit can scare someone from trying to learn yknow??? fucked up dude
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this is technically a screenshot redraw but it got outta hand at the end. wanted to try out one of those giant pixel LED screen effects
#qkdraws#id in alt#finished the feb redraw just in time <3a singular day to spare#i like gettin funky w these it's fun. glad i got to experiment even if i was tight on time#kinda wanna do the screen effect again but Different . soon ...........#mob psycho#mob psycho 100#mp100#mp100 ritsu#ritsu kageyama#eyestrain#ritsu <3im holding him like the bug he is in my hands#ilike him a lot. he's sillay#these aren't all going to be ritsu redraws. as if u could stop me if they were tho#in my beautiful mind he's fighting somebody in times square. bc that's rly funny to me#whys he there . who put him there. who brought him to america why would they do that to him#pause i just googled what the NYC screens r actually called and they are named ''spectaculars'' and ''jumbotrons''#which is . so dumb. i love it
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This ain't a 'I'm back in the fandom post' but a 'TOA was an important part of my youth and led me to meet some cool and some less-cool people and taught me a lot about persistence and responsibility and trust and kindness and family and friendship and love, and I'd fundamentally be a different person if I had not watched that first Trollhunters trailer in 2016 and joined a now defunct Discord server in 2020 (that was honestly mostly filled with crappy people) because I wouldn't have met all of the people who changed me for the better and for the worse and taught me so much about what it means to be a good and not-good friend and also (unfortunately) fandom culture and handling internet drama and led me to be the person I am now' post.
#tales of arcadia#just some thoughts from me.#glad to see some of y'all still like the old stuff I've made. love you moots.#again -- not going to back to the fandom bc tbh I've had more bad experiences than good.#but the good parts are still special and I glad I got to be happy even if for just a short while.#i just dabble in the fandom and experience it in ways that i can handlle. ie reading fanfic in my room and rotating the chrs around#in my head when i'm feeling nostalgic
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i know who you are - i’m not leaving you again!
#guilty gear#bridget#guilty gear bridget#bridget guilty gear#III CAN FEEL THE LIGHT EVEN AFTER THE SUN GOES DOWN#i love u girl. im glad i got to experience u again in strive after seeing u in whatever game was on the psp#my art
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While I absolutely hate not posting, I'm also very glad Soli is on mini-july break because guess who has two thumbs and just spent the past two days in a migraine coma!? THIS GUYYyyowowwww.
#never been so glad that I'm not at any of the numerous events I put the comic on mini vacation for#being in a con hotel with a migraine is something i have experienced and never want to experience again#that was ax 2005#that was Pain#got lucky every other year I went and never got struck down again#except for the year I went a week early to stay with friends and got a migraine a few days before#but a friend's quiet couch is far better than a con hotel for that#anyway!! thanks to having a couple of new messages during my coma I remembered I had other messages I meant to answr WOOPS#I will poke those once my postdrome lets up a bit#I do hope everyone AT a con or on vacation is having a great time!! No migraines ok? I will take your migraine for you#or wait I guess it's no longer sunday#so people who WENT TO a con or are going to the upcoming ones#you better have good times or had good times!#WHAT DAY IS IT
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Focus on the Way to Get Out
#Hfjone#Liam Plecak#Liam Hfjone#Backpack Hfjone#OneHfj#Inspired By the Song ''We Bought the Flood'' By The Books#I Wanted to Practice Rim Lighting and Also Utalize My Cream Pencil Brush#I Work Nowadays With Flatman (Soft) a Lot Its Like My Go To Sketching and Lineart Brush So I Wanted to Vary It Up a Smidge#The Colours Were a Lot of Fun Tho Here I Really Has Fun Playing With How I Conveyed the Shapes N Shit#Good Experience Overall#Dreamy Art#I Missed Liam Glad I Got to Draw Liam Again
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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About to watch “Home” and be released from the shackles of AtS season 4 once and for all
GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE 🗣️
YOU COULDN’T PAY ME TO EVER REWATCH SEASON 4 (and season 3, for that matter!!) OF THIS DAMN SHOW EVER AGAIN!!!!! I would rather gnaw off my own LIMBS!!!!!!!!!
#this has truly been an excruciating experience#but I’m glad I did it for the pod#but legit never again#I feel wrung out after watching these two seasons and not in a good satisfied way#shit got so weird for so long omg 😭#onto season 5#I’m excited for Spike#and I’m excited for the drastic change in vibe and scenery#text post
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i don't talk about him a lot on here but a couple years ago i got a beta fish which i so sweetly named sebass-tian hamil-fin. i'd never had a fish before but at the time, since i wasn't in my apartment a lot, a fish was really the only thing i could care for. unfortunately, he passed away today.
i didn't think i'd be this upset by it because i could kind of tell over the past week or two that he wasn't doing too well. i tried my best to make him feel better but unfortunately, it wasn't enough.
i plan to go and get another fish tomorrow but i just...don't really know how to feel about it right now. he was my first fish and certainly won't be my last.
#tw animal death#cw animal death#i do recognize that i gave him a better quality of life than being on some pet store shelf in a small container#but this still isn't easy to take. i know he wasn't doing well and i tried my best dammit. i really did.#the shittiest part is that it really is my fault. you're supposed to change the tank water every two weeks or so and i just...i couldn't#whether it be work or depression or executive function i just usually got to it around four weeks#and the water just wasn't healthy at that point. so i'm really kind of beating myself up for it because by the time i realized it#it was too late. but wow did that little guy fight. he survived a move with me! i didn't move him properly in any way shape or form#and yet he did it. anyway. i've expected this every day for the last week or two but it was just confirmed and it really hit me#i've just been sitting here crying because i loved him but also! idk i just needed some company at first ya know?#not to sound like. detached from the situation but like...it really was an experiment? bc i never owned a fish before and wanted to see#if i could actually do it and i'm so so glad i did#he was a beautiful fish and i appreciated his company because beta's are actually pretty smart and usually grow to recognize you.#i lovingly joked with one of my friends that seabass was in hospice the past few weeks so truthfully i know i did what i could#but it was also realistically a learning experiment. now i know how to properly take care of a fish and the next seabass will have a great#experience and tank already ready for him. anyway if you've read this far gold star! i'm gonna log off now#i’m rambling again aren’t i
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Jon Robyns forever breaking my heart in The Final Lair
#HOLY SHIT THAT MAN CAN ACT#second time seeing the show#second time seeing him#he was on fire in the last 20 minutes#so glad i got to see him again#and lily kerhoas was incredible!#very happy i got to experience her christine#no I'll just cry every time i think about it#again#the phantom of the opera#poto#poto london#jon robyns#lily kerhoas
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You know something I am really sad about is how the TARDIS interior changed for tenteen. It would have been a whole different story if the clothes had been normal but like this? Everthing the Doctor was just vanished and got replaced. The screwdriver coming out of nothing? The outfit? A new fancy TARDIS?
10 kept the TARDIS from 9 and 12 from 11. 13 had to fight to get her TARDIS back and built herself a new screwdriver in the meantime. 11 had to let her recalibrate until she was usable again and gave him a new screwdriver (? I think ? Don't quite remember where he got the sonic) All of them CHOSE their new outfit and had a whole thing where they searched for it.
And tenteen just gets all those things like this, appearing in his lap. Which is convenient, sure, but I feel like he really lost the identification process on the way. Maybe not as important for him as he knows the body and mind and companion already (in theory) but like, I am not surprised he is going through it like this. He just wanted to hang on to Yaz, wasn't allowed that, lost her, decided she was gonna be excited for change, didn't really get change either and then everything they could hold onto as part of their last identity, everything that was theirs to let go off, just got ripped out of his hands replaced with a weird mixture of 'look how new and nice and shiny' and 'isn't that lovely reminiscent of 4 bodies ago'. No wonder they are running on their gingiva*, I would be so lost and disoriented in his place.
And then obviously from a meta pov I dislike that 15 is apparently copying tenteen's TARDIS now. We got a scene of tenteen exploring the new TARDIS and being excited but for 15 he has already had 1.5 adventures with her. And while we couldn't put tenteen into the old clothes it was okay to put 15 in underwear? Wouldn't it have made much more sense to have the weird clothes' thing happen with the mitosis regeneration? (like, I wouldn't have liked that either but it is a little weird how tenteen got a full suit and 15 got the bare minimum)
And I hate how it feels like every part that made the Doctor 13 got erased as quickly as possible. Luckily, there were a few references at least - if no one got me I know the psychic paper got me <3 - and I GET why the fam didn't show up in the puppet show but like, couldn't you have left tenteen the TARDIS interior at least? I am sure Donna would have liked the crystal columns <3
It feels very rtd to have tenteen showered with gifts he can't even want and that are way too much while others are erased or overshadowed by him and get the leftovers.
On a similar note, I was also direly missing post-regeneration haze for both of them. Who knows (well people who have watched the Christmas special, I guess), maybe that's yet to come for 15? But like how are they supposed to function without running about without a clue and passing out every 5s for a day or two?
*German expression, means to be on one's last legs
#anti rtd#<- it isn't only anti rtd because there is a certain tragic to treating the Doctor this way that I can get on board with#and like there wasn't that much time for his arc anyway as he only lived for 2.5 eps#but I still wish the Doctor could have kept something and then moved on on his own accord#like an earring you know? pluck it out of his ear and put it in a pocket for safekeeping#you remember how 13 lost the wedding ring regenerating and that was framed as something to mourn? I bet they never even realised#at least not until much later when they had no clue where it had disappeared to it just got taken from them when they weren't looking#tenteen's whole self is like that ring just that it isn't getting framed that way and hence we don't get to grief and experience the tragic#as what it is#again no time in 3 eps for this sure#but idk it's very tragic to take away from 13 and 15 to give to tenteen in a way that takes aways from tenteen in the end#(maybe rtd was forced to change TARDIS and sonic who knows not gonna yell at him for it but it remains sad and unfortunate)#from the meta pov I am at least glad the TARDIS (and potentially sonic) will come to be 15's that tenteen borrowed since we will see them#together for longer#dw spoilers
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