#given. so hes like yeah that works please please please my life sucks ASS rn

[aethergate]

Hey Vanitas talk about Xehanort

"And why should I? I can't stand him - he's the whole reason I'm here. The only good thing he's ever done for me was telling me how to become the χ-blade, and how to put an end to all of it. There's the training for all of it too, I guess - Ventus is lucky he won the first time around. I could've wiped the floor compared to how babied he got. He wouldn't have survived for two days on his own! Anyways, that's about all the good stuff I can say about him - he's the one who messed the entire thing up afterwards. So much for all his talk about me getting stronger and not doing enough - at least I actually stuck to what I wanted."

[tyonfs]

dress up.

❝ i was trying on something. could you tell me if you like it? ❞

PAIRING ▸ mark lee x reader

WARNINGS ▸ dirty talk, raw sex (pls use protection), overstimulation

WORD COUNT ▸ 2000 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this was a request from anon for a frat boy!mark smut! i sort of ran with it, but i love mark lee so it was fun to write ♡

IN RETROSPECT, MARK WAS A BIT OF A CLICHE.

Being a frat boy, athlete, and unfortunately, a bit of a heartbreaker, it was inevitable that he would be classified as bad news. Add you to the equation and he was the physical manifestation of a typical rom-com trope. He figured it was supposed to be you chasing after him, but the fact that it was the other way around took a slight blow to his confidence.

But that didn’t stop him from pursuing you.

And here he was, anticipating your presence on a Friday night at a frat party. He hung onto some false sense of hope that kept him from consuming any alcohol, despite Taeyong and Johnny’s attempts to get him to drink. You and Mark had been flirting for a while now, but neither of you had made a move on each other. Mark was hoping that would change tonight.

“C’mon, Ma-ark,” his friend, Na Jaemin, slurred. “You gotta let loose. Take a shot with me.”

“Jaemin, you’re sloshed, dude. Also, I won’t until—”

A notification flashed across his phone screen, the banner name displaying your name. Mark’s cheeks heated up, his mouth going dry as he stared at his phone for a moment. He turned it off and then on again, checking to make sure the notification was real. He sank back into the couch to make sure only he had eyes on his phone screen.

you: mark

you: you up?

mark: of course. what’s up?

you: i was trying on something

you: could you tell me if you like it?

mark: oh fuck

mark: yeah, go ahead

A few minutes passed by and Mark’s heart was racing. He stared at the texts again, wondering if this was really happening, then cringing at the realization that he had actually sent an “oh fuck” when it was supposed to be confined to his thoughts. Without giving Mark any warning or time to brace himself, you sent the picture.

There was something about mirror pictures that drove Mark crazy. Seeing you posing in front of a full-length mirror with black lingerie hugging your curves and a mini pleated skirt that barely covered the swell of your ass was giving him a hard-on. He wasn’t sure he could contain himself and this shocking development between you two was messing with him.

Mark grabbed a pillow from the couch and placed it shamefully on his lap. No one was paying attention to him anyways, but he had to take extra precautions.

mark: fuck are you wearing that rn?

mark: god, you’re driving me crazy

you: if that’s the case then why don’t you come over?

mark: now?

you: you know where my apartment is

you: i’ll be waiting ♡

Mark got up in an instant and made his way to the door. He had to have saved someone in his past life for this sort of luck. He was caught up in disbelief that you, the girl of his dreams, had made a move on him. There were plenty of girls that Mark had gotten caught up with in the past, but none of them had ever made his heart race like you did.

Johnny stopped Mark before he got to the door, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Whoa, where are you running off to?”

“Oh, shit, I forgot to ask.” Mark grinned, insufferably cocky. “Do you have a condom?”

Johnny’s eyes practically sparkled, digging into his pockets upon his best friend’s request. “Attaboy.”

You looked straight out of one of Mark’s fantasies when you opened the door and let him in. It wasn’t even the short skirt or the lingerie peeking through that got to him. What sent him over the edge was Mark’s sweater over your body; it was oversized on you, but Mark knew it looked better on you than it ever could on him. Mark had given it to you a few weeks ago when you were cold, but he never expected to be the one taking it off of you.

“Hey, frat boy,” you teased, then pouted lightly. “I’m sorry for making you wait so long.”

Mark snapped out of his daze and walked in the apartment as you closed the door behind him. “Wait?”

You tugged at the hem of his shirt and Mark took the cue. He grabbed the back of his shirt at the nape, tugging it off and tossing it to some corner of the room, exposing his bare chest and abs. He let out a hiss through gritted teeth as you ran your hands down his chest and to his belt.

“Wait for me,” you explained. “I just wanted to get you so worked up so you could ruin me.”

That was all Mark needed to hear.

He picked you up effortlessly and brought you to your bed, dropping you down on it and crawling on top of you. He caged your frame with his larger one and crashed his lips onto yours. It was messy and rushed, but so full of passion and longing. Mark poured out his emotions and frustration into kissing you, running his hands down your gorgeous body as you arched your back against him.

“God, I’ve been wanting to do this for months,” he growled when he pulled from the kiss, moving his lips down to your neck. When he heard a soft moan escape your lips, he started sucking harsher, blooming dark hickies along the side of your neck. “I’m gonna make you wish you never made me wait.”

You wrapped a leg around his torso, which he appreciated, if a smooth roll of his hips was anything to go by. But you wanted more—more contact and more friction. You curled your fingers in his belt loops and pulled him down on you.

Mark sat up, pulling you up along with him. He adored your beauty for a moment before tugging his sweater up and off of you. A grunt escaped his lips at the sight of your body, lace lingerie still hugging it. He stuttered out a curse before he kissed you again, tugging your skirt down your legs, which you kicked off.

“Leave the lingerie on,” he ordered, a hungry look in his eyes. He slid his finger underneath the strap along your thigh and snapped it, making you wince. “I can’t let all your efforts go to waste after you dressed up for me, doll.”

“Please, Mark,” you begged, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I want you to stuff your cock in me.”

Mark went to take off his pants in less than a second. You watched him strip down, his bulge not doing much to hide the fact that he was huge. You realized that that cockiness of his is completely warranted. You helped him tug his boxers down, a soft gasp escaping your lips when his cock sprung out, slapping against belly.

Mark gazed into your eyes as he slid his hand up your thigh, making his way to the apex of your legs. He tugged your panties to the side, delighted at how it clung to you. He’d truly be a happy man if he could have you underneath him every day for the rest of his life. Mark slid two fingers against your slit, smirking at how wet you were already.

“Is this for me?” he cooed as your hips bucked up into his touch.

You nodded, eager to just have him in you. You were all for foreplay, but your walls were throbbing with how much pent-up sexual frustration you were experiencing. There were so many opportunities after tonight, but right now, you needed Mark.

Mark suspended himself over you, propping himself up with an arm. He hooked his fingers under the elastic of your panties and teased your slit with the head of his cock. A whimper escaped your lips.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked.

You pressed a kiss to the column of his neck. “Of course.”

Mark’s Adam’s apple bobbed; he was nervous. He was about to fuck the girl of his dreams, so how could he possibly be calm? But when you gave him that dazzling smile of yours, his heart thundered in his chest. He needed you.

He slowly entered you, eyes fixed on your face with rapt attention, indulging in the expressions you were making. For someone so sly and teasing, you had become pliant under his grasp, like a handful of clay that Mark could mould into his own liking.

“Mark,” you whined in an almost depraved way.

“Fuck,” he groaned once he was fully inside of you, your walls pulsating around him.

He started at a languid pace so he could adjust to you. To his satisfaction, you were vocal during sex; you moaned, whimpered, and gasped out Mark’s name whenever he thrusted into you. You were also so damn tight that the slightest movement made you tighten around Mark’s cock.

He held your thighs with a bruising grip as you pressed your breasts up against his chest. Your head went fuzzy as Mark pounded into that one spot mercilessly. But god, the way he growled out your name under his breath as your hips slapped against each other each time was sending you over the edge.

Your nails dug into his back, leaving trails of white-hot pain that compelled Mark into thrusting harder into you. He grinned, a little unhinged, and sped up at the encouragement of your moans. The way he looked at you when he thrusted, though, was so fragile; he found you so heartbreakingly gorgeous, and it didn’t help that he was falling deeper and deeper in love with you.

“Mark!” you cried as you were reaching your high.

He could get lost in the way his name tumbled from your lips. He slowed down his thrusts in exchange for deeper ones that brought you closer to your climax. Mark kissed you again, slower and more passionate. It was somewhat out of place given the magnitude of what you two were doing, but it confirmed for you that he didn’t just want you for sex.

You squealed out his name again, the pressure blinding you. You clenched around him as you came undone, shooting stars flashing behind your eyelids. Mark fucked you through your orgasm without any semblance of mercy. You crooned out a few broken moans, eyes half-lidded as you held onto Mark, your release dripping down his cock.

“Look at me,” he ordered, dark eyes clouding over. He could hardly keep his release at bay, but when you looked up at him with those innocent, doe-like eyes, it became impossible. “God, are you even real? You’re so fucking gorgeous.”

Mark gritted his teeth, a strangled groan leaving his throat as he pulled out and released over you. His cum spilled over your thighs, staining the lingerie you had worn just for him. Mark was completely out of breath so he collapsed next to you, rolling over so he could hold you in his arms. You happily complied, cuddling up to his warmth.

“Please don’t let that be a one-time thing,” Mark murmured in your ear, brushing aside strands of your hair.

“Maybe if you let me be your girlfriend,” you said with a smile, making Mark go wide-eyed.

“Really?” He couldn’t conceal the happiness behind his words.

“On one condition, though,” you said, closing your eyes as that feeling of his cum between your thighs. You reached for his pants that he had strewn aside beside you and reached into the pocket, pulling out the condom that Johnny had given him. “Use this next time.”

“Shit,” Mark mumbled.

You giggled at his reaction, but Mark only smiled brighter, embracing you tightly in his arms. He pressed a kiss against your forehead, cheek, and then your lips. He was a pure romantic when it came down to it, especially when it came to you.

“I also have a condition,” he said.

“Yeah?” you mused. “What is it?”

“Dress up for me next time.”

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[mileycfan4eva33]

Fandom: SVU

Title:Epitaph Song

Chapter: 1 Down South

P O V: Amanda Rollins

Billy's Diner

Loganville, GA 2020

(A/N: Thank you as always for the readers who take the time to review, favorite or follow. As usual I own none of these SVU characters just my original characters. All others belong to NBC, Dick Wolf and Wold Ent. Jessie, Billie do not exist in this fic, I am still deciding if Noah dose or not. If you have a preference as to if you want Noah in it or not hit me up reviews motivate me.)

"Oh, Air Condition, thank God! It's hotter than a roasted pig on a skewer out there." Olivia Benson's laugh is light and airy as we enter the restaurant. "Oh, Amanda, I love your expressions, don't ever change. Seriously your southern drawl is so cute. Don't ever lose it."

"No worries, Olivia; it's been nearly ten years since I moved to New York. I haven't lost it yet." "Thanks again for coming down south with me. It means a lot."

"Your welcome Amanda, are you feeling any better since this weekend?" Shaking the soreness out of my weary bones I feel a yawn snaking up my jawlines as I try to fight it off to no avail, the yawn is relentless in its attempt to escape.

"A little thanks I am still tired and nausea I don't know why I slept all weekend, yet I still feel dizziness not as much as this weekend, but I am still weakened almost as if I am drained of all energy." Sliding into the booth, I lean back against the cool plastic backboard. "I'm sorry for calling out on you this weekend, Captain."

"Amanda, please, stop don't worry about it your health is too important don't apologize." "I am sorry, Liv, not just for this weekend, but now we're both away from NYC."

"Because your dad passed away, Amanda, we're not here on vacation. Kat and Fin understand, and Chief Garland sent two detectives to help out, SVU is covered. Please take some of this concern and apply it to yourself; you lost your dad. I know you haven't been close to him in years, but he is still your dad, give yourself the allowance to mourn, Amanda. Don't hide your emotions down and pretend that everything is perfectly fine."

"I don't think it's hit me yet, Olivia. I just don't feel anything." Olivia's hand slips over my hand as we lay them on the table, waiting on the waitress to come over to us. "It will Amanda, I don't know when sweetie, it may take weeks, days, months, but it will hit you. I just want you to know that I am here, honey, whenever you want to talk."

"Thank you, Liv; I appreciate this jester I know we haven't always been close, but I love the friendship that has been built over the last four years." "As do I Amanda. I love the trust that we've built within each other, the respect. Where is the waitress?"

"Liv, it's the south; we take our sweet time with everything, ain't no rushin' in the country life."

"You ever miss living down here, Peach?" "Honestly, Liv, there are parts I miss like my family, friends. I miss the comfort in knowing there is always someone here who will have your back. What I don't miss is everyone knowing everyone else business."

"Is that a true thing? Everyone else knows each other's business?"

As if God was given me a clue incomes Betsy Jane Rose "Oh, my bless my heart Amanda-Taylor Rollins, is that truly you?" I pick my head up, gritting my teeth as she comes flying inside the restaurant arms wild "Betsy Jane Mary-Sue it sure is, wow child it's been yonders since you've rolled back into these parts."

"Oh, I am so sorry about your daddy, such a shame bless your heart honey-bee."

"Oh well, how sweet of you, Ms. Betsy, so very kind of you thank you, how did you hear about my daddy's passing per se? We didn't put it in the Tribune or online."

"Oh, Sugar, you know how these things work, Lord, who needs that dingy old paper when we gave word of mouth. Has it been that long Darlin? Surely you remember the good old Betsy-Jane- Mary-Sue train."

"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Oh Amanda, let me enlighten you wow New York City has slapped you silly, child. Anyways So Mary-Jo Higgins oh heavens I was born at night, but not last night! Duh, of course, you don't know who Mary-Jo Higgins is, well back in our days of youth she went by Mary-Jo Robins, so any who baby, Mary-Jo is now an RN."

"That's a Registered Nurse, by the way." "Yes, Ms. Rose, I know what an RN is."

"So yeah Mary-Jo works a that's Loganville Medical Center where your daddy was brought to by the Ambulance. So Mary-Jo was there when he passed bless his heart so Mary-Jo well you know good ol' Mary-Jo never could keep a secret so of course, she told her Mama who had to run down to the Salon to say to Ms. Sue who of course told the whole Salon."

Both of us laugh, "How did you find out, darlin?"

"Oh, you know this little thing called HIPPA they like to notify the Next of Kin, and since my parents you know divorced many moons ago, that would make me the eldest child his next of kin, since he hasn't gotten to remarry yet."

"Speaking of kin-folk dear, where is that sister of yours? She straighten her life out yet? Kimberly coming on her own?"

"No, Ma'am, I'm afraid she ain't gonna make it, you know the whole being in jail thing it kind of puts a cramp on a person's freedom. Thank you so much for coming over though, I sure don't want to keep you."

I don't give her a chance to answer quickly, sliding back into the booth turning to Olivia. Just as our waitress comes over. "good afternoon- honey pies, what can I get you ladies?" after we order, I lean back as Olivia starts to laugh, unable to hold in her amusement over Ms. Rose any longer. "So that's how news travels down south Captain." eagle eyeing Betsy across the room, I can already see she's on her cell phone. "Well, the whole damn town will know I am back soon enough." "that has to be frustrating, Amanda." "Oh, Liv, you ain't got a clue. Every day dealing with women like, is there any doubt about why I got out of here faster than a bat out of hell."

I stay silent about the other reason I left Georgia as soon as I was old enough my sexuality there's no room for differences here in the good old south. No way could I tell Olivia this though she has no idea I am a lesbian. "So, is your Mom coming?" "Lord, no Liv she's up in NY taking care of Mason, Mama said she was sorry the son of a bitch died, but she dumped his ass years ago, let his new hussy handle the affairs."

"My dear new sister, who I haven't even met yet. She's handling everything as per my dad's living will."

"Amanda, I am so sorry." "Don't be Olivia, I am fine." "Of course you are." I don't reply not because I don't have the response in me but because the doors burst open and a vast mass of people come pouring into the already packed diner.

"Amanda! It is true! You are back!" Tommy Jake Edwards "TJ" calls out "Yo Ms. Betsy Jane was right boys. Good Ol Rollins is back in town." there are rumblings from the entire group of men "Liv meet the former jocks of Loganville High School Pyro Red Devils who ruled LHS's halls from 1996-1999."

"Rollins, how can you sneak back into town and say nothing? Yo, Rollins, that is rude! I thought we were your boys!"

"Bump that T-rolls, I am pissed forget these clowns, I am your cousin! Uncle Jimmy is my kin-folk too. Where's my love?"

"Hey, Jensen, I just got back into town like literally ten minutes ago. I'm sorry it's been crazy these last few days. My head is still spinning. I haven't told anyone yet, sorry, truly."

Jensen's arms wrap around me tightly. "No worries, cuz. I got you. I am sorry I know you and your Pa wasn't close but damn it still sucks." "Thanks, Jensen, yeah, it does."

Coming out of his hug, I'm met by his brother Blake who I hug as tightly. "Yo boys will catch you later going to hang with family." the rest of the crew waves blowing me kisses as Liv, and I make room for these two. "Hi. I'm Olivia Benson, Amanda's boss, and friend."

"Oh honey-child we know who you are, we've heard all about you now haven't we Blake?" "Oh, yes, Yes, we have well let us introduce ourselves since Miss. Amanda has the manners of a pig. I am Blake Yankee; Jensen is my twin brother; our Mama is Amanda's dad sister."

"Were you three close growing up?" "Oh, tighter than chili papers, Mama, us, and our uncle TC's kids, our cousins Alonso and Scottie, are coming in tomorrow." "They called us the Rollin- Yankee-Terrors." Sipping my sweet tea, I groan, remembering all the names the seven of us use to get growing up. "don't tell her that she is my boss."

"Oh relax Junebug, it ain't like I told her about the time you put laxatives in Ernie Reynaldo's cornbread when you were ten and locked him in the outhouse for the whole day and told our teacher he ran away to the circus."

Olivia laughs so loudly. I feel my temperature rise in my face. "You what?" my face buries into the palms of my hands. "Yo, boy, that was nothing. Remember when we were twelve, and Kyle Kane told Manda she was uglier than a burnt barn, she took his pants and underwear while he was changing and threw it into the river."

Both boys bang on the table laughing, shoving each other as Olivia arched an eyebrow in my direction "Oh, yeah I do, she let the anger seethe inside all week till Saturday when the whole town was gathered for the annual fishing competition. When Kyle's dad was with the reporter for Atlanta news, Kyle comes walking bare-ass naked; the entire town saw him walking his little dude swinging in the breeze. Kyle was grounded for months. "

My embarrassment only increases as I lay my head down, groaning while all three laugh. "Oh, God, even as a kid, Amanda, you were a rule-breaker and a little shit-head." I feel Olivia's hand stroke mine laughing as she hangs her head down tears running down her face, which a lovely rose color.

I only pick my head up when the food arrives, feeling my whole body shiver and jolt as I lean back, smelling the greasy food. Reaching for the ketchup, I pop a fry in my mouth. I still can't shake this feeling of being drained or the tightness in my head.

"Oh My." another voice pops into my world as I see Mr. Jason Axson and Mrs. Janet Axson coming in with their two kids Christopher 17, Savannah 14. her voice cuts through the air. "How are you, Sugar?' "I am just peachy; thank you, just enjoying dinner with my family, here."

"Oh, of course, we don't mean to interrupt. You could use the food; obliviously, you are mighty thin sugar. Your daddy was right; they are working your tail to its bone up there in that big city unless you are sick again, darling."

"No Ma'am, I am right as a peach as I said, but I am trying to enjoy my dinner." "Yeah, Janet let these nice folks eat; worry about our own family; I do apologize, Miss. Amanda lovely to see you again, we shall pop in at another time."

Olivia's eyes stare right into mine. I know she's wondering about the "Are you sick again" line my face flushes as I look down, avoiding her eyes and the question. Another part of my past she has no idea about, My stomach rolls as I think about all the secrets and pressures I have on top of me, none of which Olivia needs to add to her plate.

"I need to use the bathroom, I'll be back, excuse me." getting up I start to head there, of course, a two-minute walk becomes ten as I am stopped by multiple people offering their condolences. My back hits the wall just as another wave of dizziness hits me; I do everything inside of me not to show it to anyone, I can see Olivia's eyes on me from across the room. Yet it isn't Olivia who catches my attention, rare I know.

This time, Savannah's voice so young, scared, and nervous. I am standing right next to their table as I hear Savannah say. "Mama, Daddy, I have something to tell you." Savannah's beautiful emerald eyes glisten as she stares at her parents. "I am a Lesbian, and I plan to come out this weekend at the prom."

Savannah's courage freezes me. I am forty and don't have the courage she has at fourteen-years-old. I can't think fast enough to react before her mom is out of her chair, smacking Savannah across her face. "You are not gay! Stop your lying, you fifthly whore! Who put these lies in your head? You are a good girl, a good baptist girl. Take it back!"

"No Mama, I can't I won't because I am gay, and yes I am a good girl, I am a baptist and MVP for the last two years in all the southern regions. I will play at college, and I will go pro, and my sexuality won't stop me from doing any of that."

"Fool, of course, it will, but you won't have to because you are not gay!"

"Mama, I am please just listen to me. Stop being such a bitch."

Her dad jumps up, grabbing at Savannah as I react, finally racing towards Savannah as Jason starts yelling. "Don't talk to your mother that way! Ever! No daughter of mine will be a sinner! I could deal with you being pregnant, not this! This is unforgivable. You either get over this phrase you little slut or you are OUT OF THIS FAMILY! Let's go now, Christopher, Janet leave her."

I hurry towards Savannah, who is trying with her whole body to remain strong as her family walks out. I know her face is stinging from the assault, but it's nothing like the pain in her soul. The rest of the restaurant sits there, not offering to help just turning to their families. My hands connect to Savannah's as I help her sit down "Sweetie, I am so sorry that your parents reacted to you."

"It's okay, ma'am, I excepted this. It was so so stupid-crazy to even except for any different outcome."

"No honey, it isn't it's not crazy or stupid to except unconditional love from your family; that's what parents are supposed to do. Of course, you wanted to tell them living in secrets, hiding who you are, it's exhausting. The if only or what-ifs or the I should have's, they take their tolls."

"It's 2020, not 1990 times have changed; maybe the south should catch up." My hands rub Savannah's back softly. "I'm from here honey, so I get it baby-girl I know how scary accepting your sexuality is, I know how painful it is to hold this all inside, to feel as if you ain't normal simply because you don't feel fireworks when the popular jocks kiss you."

"I knew that when I was thirteen, I felt it already I was great to hang out with boys all day when it came to playing ball, or telling dirty jokes or pulling pranks, but when it came to who I was attracted to sexually or emotionally, guys they just didn't do it for me. I could feel myself gravitating toward girls in ways that I didn't with boys."

"Don't let your sexual identity label you or define you—whether it be as lesbian, bisexual, asexual, or another term—how you choose to label yourself is not based on a checklist. You can still be everything you just told your parents; you can play any instrument you want to learn, you can be the best damn softball player this world's ever seen."

"Savannah, I started figuring it out at thirteen, but I didn't let myself act physically until I was 16, I kissed a girl at a party for the first time, and it was magical. Everything flowed so naturally, my body just knew what to do. I reacted to her in a way that felt right—the way I had always envisioned the first kiss to be. I tried saying I was bisexual for a quick minute and even had sex with several guys to prove that I wasn't an abomination the way the church, my family, and everyone else in this town always said gay people are. Still, I could feel myself gravitating toward girls in ways that I didn't with boys."

"Did your family accept you?"

"I don't know I never told anyone I was too scared. It was a different time back then before it got better or internet support. There were no Gay pride parades even now at forty living in NYC, a place filled with cultural and sexuality differences. I am still living in that small-town mindset. I can't tell anyone. I can't even tell the woman who I am madly in love with who I know is so accepting of people. Because I am still afraid that even with an open mind as beautiful as Olivia's, I am afraid she'll reject me."

"Savannah, I know this feels like the end of the world right now, it's not I am right by your side. I will support you; you can stay with me. Will get through this together."

"Thank you, Miss. Amanda. Thank you so much. I think you should tell this Olivia lady how you feel. Even with my parent's rejection, I feel such a weight off my chest; I feel as if I can finally breathe."

"Amanda, maybe you should listen to Savannah, she seems like a brave young lady, and I love women who are strong in body, mind, and spirit. You have a very sexy strong body, and I know your mind is sharp, so if you get some balls Amanda and tell me how you feel face to face, I think we might be able to make a beautiful connection, of our minds, souls and our bodies." Olivia's voice completely freezes every sense, emotion and body function inside of me. I can't speak, think, move or even breathe.

Did she just hear me confess my deepest feelings for her?

[hwanggeum-ashi]

Love At First Peek

➝Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader

➝Genre: tooth rotting fluff (don’t blame me for diabetes lmao)

➝Wordcount: 2209

➝Summary: you stalked the nerd so that you can get a free ice cream

You are sitting on the library floor

One book propped open on your lap and rest lying scattered on the ground

You're studying for your upcoming exams.Hence all the books

But they would help only if you were paying attention to them

Coz your whole attention was focused on the boy sitting right across from you

Well not right across coz there's a huge ass bookshelf in between you both

But what is classic book-space-peeping-hole made for right?

You're admiring, no full on staring at him

His soft brown hair which falls over his eyes when he bends his head down

His semi plump lips which he is chewing right now

His long fingers softly holding the pages, just like how you like and not like those animal who just tear the pages off. His fingers glides across the lines he's reading

He's sitting cross legged. His trousers creasing at the folds

But the most cutest thing is how his specs keep sliding down and you can't help but laugh when he sighs for nth time and pushes it back

That's when his eyes meet you

You quickly avert your eyes, flailing your book pages

He's clearly caught you staring

You keep your head down, to scared to lift it up and see what you'll find

After five mins of paranoia, you finally manage to lift your head up only to find him missing from his spot

Your mouth quickly turns into a frown and you decided to gather your books and leave, since you already wasted too much time

Huffing you get up and walk away only to bump into something hard

"Oof!"

"Careful”

You snap your head up immediately regretting coz now you prolly got a nerve pull or something

But it's all worth it

"sorry I wasn't looking"

"here." he hands you the book that had fallen from your hand "it's alright, I should've said something"

Suddenly the proximity of you both dawns upon you and you jump back "I guess, I should go. Thanks"

He smiles at you and steps aside "my pleasure"

You race to your dorm with beating heart and fall face first as soon as you see your bed

You squeal in the pillow, not being able to contain the excitement

But then you sit straight "breath in, breathe out." But then again your face morphs into a stupid smile

Next day you arrive early to the class so there's only a few students there

You scan the classroom coz you know he has this class

How did you know? Duh stalking!

Did you purposely select this class? Ofc not, you're not dumb

Today was the first day of the merger class coz your eco teacher called in sick for a week

So you had to merge with his class

Were you dying? Yes definitely

You see the same brown hair peeking out from the door and you quickly immerse yourself into the  book, pretending to study

With sneaky eyes, you look up to find that he's talking to some guy with all black attire, even his shoes are black. Hot.

But your eyes travel to his lips

How they move when he talks

How soft they look

How kissable they look

You snap out of it when you feel them coming closer

And as per your amazing luck, he spots you "oh!

You're stuck between saying hi, waving or smiling

So you just dumbly mix everything together

To your relief before he could react, the all black boy pulls him to the seat adjacent to yours

Your heart =boom boom

Your brain = malfunctioning

Your brain cell= ded

Your soul= yeeted

You dip your deep enough so that your hair would cover the side of your face

So far so good

Halfway through the class, a pencil rolls down to your side

And as a mother teresa you are, you bend to pick up the pencil

Your hands bumps against a rather beautiful once, Tae's.

But this time you don't pull back coz he doesn't either

You both look up and he gives you smile, you return the gesture

After class you turn into flash and you're outta the class in a second

You Hear voices behind you

A familiar husky, deep voice perks your ears up

"hey man, I'll catch you guys later. Got some work to do" "yeah just be there at . See ya hyung!"

Your heartbeat quickens again

please come talk to me! please come talk to me!

And just by the Lord, there's a tap on your shoulder

Now you know better than to jump him, so you try to turn as graciously as you could

"yes?" yes?! YES?! for real get a grip!

"hi! We uh.. We met at the library? Remember?"

 of fucking course I remember you dumb fool! "oh yeah! Yeah I remember."

"I'm taehyung" he extends his hand and you shake it, giving your name with it.

"so is it fine if I talk to you for a minute?"

 fuck yes!

"yeah, absolutely

"well.." he scratches his hair which messed his specs and you suppress the urge to push them back

"I was wondering if you wanna be uh, you known, my partner for the uh project?"

You stiffen and you swear you can hear the wedding bells going off

"yeah! That will be great!"

He beams at you and you again suppress the urge to kiss him mercilessly

"so... shall we..?"

"don't you need to be going? It's almost five"

The words leave your mouth before you could register what you said

fuck my fucking dumb mouth! He knows! He fucking knows!

He quirked an eyebrow at you but gives you a radiant smile

yep I'm dead

"yeah I gotta be somewhere rn. But we can reschedule?"

You both exchange numbers and go your own ways

You silently thank the universe for not exploding on you

"he knows right? He definitely knows right?" You stuff your mouth with chips as you tell the whole incident to your best friend, who rn is doubling over in laughter

"ofc he knows! Boys always know! Goddamn I'm dying!"

You throw a pillow at her and huff

Next day you're waiting patiently excruciatingly painful for him at the cafe near the campus

You're prolly on your third cup of coffee coz your nerves just won't calm down

he stood me up. He absolutely did!

You hold your head in your hands he knew I was lusting over him!

You were ready to bail, leaving him message saying sorry something came up

But the jingle of the bell marks his arrival

And if you thought you were nervous before? Rn you were definitely bordering into a panic attack

And the damn wedding bells ugh!

 Why won't they stop...idk belling??

He sees you and struts his handsome walk towards you and sits as gracefully like a prince. You felt like a peasant who owns five pigs and a cow

"sorry to keep you waiting! Practice ran late"

Only then you notice that he's a little out of breath he came running!

"that's okay. I only just got here"

"well then you're either super fast or I'm just imagining things coz i see three cups of coffee"

You turn the reddest red of the red unable to say anything

"so.. About the project, Where do we start?"

He takes out his notes and a well maintained diary which had everything written in an organised manner oh my god marry me!

He points out the things to do and you both assign each other duties. After an hour of discussing, your conversation comes to a stop

Turns out you both sucked at holding conversation

he's not interested you shut the voice inside your head

"so.." "so.."

You both say at the same time and burst into giggles

He's just smiling

"you first"  you say coz definitely didn't have anything to say

"I was thinking if.. If you wanted to go somewhere?"

he's asking me on a date?!

He must've read your thoughts but the poor boy looked at your startled expression and got flustered

"uh I mean do you want to go somewhere rn? Since we're done? I mean it's fine if you don't want to-" "yes! I'll go!"

 fuck that came out too strong

"I mean, yeah sounds good"

You both split the bill and head out

You both stroll down the streets and since it's almost Christmas, shops are decorated with lights and candy canes

You talk about random stuff, asking what he wants to do in life and you're quite surprised to hear that he wants to be a singer

Given his choice of subjects you definitely took him for a non med student

"I'm so asking do you to sing" you tease and groans

"I'm not so good yet.." "oh shut up! You're perfect"

You freeze mid walk fuck my fucking mouth!

"uh I mean uh that you'll be perfect! Hey! Is that an  ice cream shop?!"

You point and almost run towards the shop

Tae just smiles behind you and catches up to you

"what flavour do you want?" you ask turning only to see him an inch away from you

You quickly turn back but he doesn't move from his spot

"chocolate" his breath hits the back of your neck and you shiver

"are you cold?" fuck he noticed!

"n-no.. I'm taking brownie fudge"

You both wait for your orders to come up and tae still hasn't moved from his spot.

His breath still fans your neck and there are now horrifyingly visible goosebumps at your arms. Thank god you're wearing a full sleeved shirt. Thank god for winter

Suddenly a bunch of school kids rush in pushing everyone

One of the kid bumps into tae who consequently bumps into you.

He mumbles an apology but it dies down when more kids start entering and causing ruckus

This makes the people standing adjacent to you lose their balance and the bump into you

You shut your eyes but don't feel the body weight

Slowly opening your eyes, you see Tae's arms at both sides of you. His chest pressing against your back.

You're too nervous to move

The shopkeeper rushes the kids out of the shop and everything quiets down

You're again suddenly hyper aware of tae behind you

His body heat radiates off of to you and you suck in a breath when you feel his heart  

thumping

"t-thank you.."

He clears his throat and steps back

You both take your orders and head out suddenly feeling too suffocated in there

"thanks for saving me in there.." You say softly

"it's nothing"

There's a awkward silence and you are racking your brain to make in un-awkward

But tae beats you to it

"it's getting dark.. We should head back to the campus" you say yeah looking up at the sky

The walk back home is pleasant. You both quickly fall back into a nice conversation.

Taehyung laughs his ass off when you accidentally reveal that your best friend had a crush on jungkook and you start panicking

You both reach at the the co-ed hostel

Sign your names and get inside

The boys' floor is on the second and the girls' floor on the first

And there's a door on the stairways to prevent certain activities form happening

You both say your goodbyes at the one last shared staircase

But neither of you moves

Tae breaks the ice first

"it was fun today. I had fun with you"

"me too"

Cue in awkward silence

You're about to turn when he calls "hey! We never made plans for our next meet!"

"oh yeah!" you almost rush towards him but catch yourself the last moment

"the usual?" you ask

"I was thinking a library? I know this big town downtown if you wanna go?"

"yes I would love that"

You both stare at each other for longer than you should

But then he announces that he has to leave and you could swear that you heard dejection in his voice

Tho he says, he has to go, you leave first

You're in your third step when he calls out your name

Again

You turn around and before you could register anything, his lips are on you

You're standing on the last step so you're almost his height

Slowly you take in what's happening

And without you knowing your fingers entangle in his hair

His soft fucking hair

His hands fly up to hold your waist tightly, pulling your against him

He slips in his tongue and you almost moan coz of the feeling

At last sadly he pulls back and you both catch your breaths

A smile tugging at both your lips

"sorry for that. Had to check something"

He says with the same breathlessness as he did at the cafe

"check what?" your voice is croaky

"whether am I in love with you or not"

Your foreheads are touching

Breathes mingling

"did you find your answer?"

"yes"

"and it is?"

"I'm in love with you"

"I'm in love with you too"

@getmemyfries @rosytteok @manggojooz @jeongguksdoll @minstrivia @minlucent @cherrynochu @taeveler

[diisenchvnted]

KIERNAN SHIPKA,  DEMIGIRL,  SHE/HER.  —  looks  like  BEATRICE “TRIXIE” BELLEROSE  is  attending  AURADON PREP  in  auradon.  they're  the  NINETEEN  year  old  child  of  THE ENCHANTRESS,  which  means  they're  from  THE ISLE.  heard  they're  ENERGETIC  &  CREATIVE,  but  can  also  be  OFFBEAT  &  NAÏVE  ;  we all have our bad days.  people  normally  associate  them  with  RED PETALS FALLING OFF A BLOOMING ROSE, A CRACKED HANDMIRROR BY YOUR BESIDE, RUBY RED LIPS AND BIG BROWN EYES, WORN STUFFED ANIMALS SALVAGED WITH A POOR SEWING JOB.  —  hylia.

                             ❛ it’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams                                 and...  have you any dreams you’d like to sell ?? ❜                                playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.                                tws : mental abuse ( by a parent )

so hi again i am hylia and this is Baby. idk how long this one’s gonna end up eITHER bc my allergies are kickin’ my ass today and I should be resting but I cannot stay away from this group for that long. So yes !! pls continue reading for more info abt trixie bby here. i lov her.

HISTORY

The daughter of the Enchantress - yes , the same Enchantress that turned Prince Adam into a beast - Trixie never really understood why her family was stuck on the Isle. Since of course , the Enchantress only taught Adam a lesson , yes ?? It was maybe through more harsh means than one would think , but . . . she wasn’t a bad guy.

...Right ??

All Trixie knew was that this was the life she was given , and she had to suck it up and deal with it. And never one to really sit around feeling sorry for herself , she took it. And her life was pretty normal for an Isle kid , save for her mother projecting her anger at being thrown on Isle onto her child. 

There was always a talk of showing them. Telling Trixie , One day we’ll show them what a real lesson is since they didn’t learn from last time. Excessively tutoring her in all things magic and enchanting despite the fact that powers like that actually terrified the child to her core. 

But there was always pressure - and it only increased when it was found out the Isle kids were getting a chance. In Trixie’s mind , this was a new way to explore , a new opportunity for a brand new life - UNTIL Trixie’s mother decided it would finally be able to kick their plans into motion. All of that tutoring , all of the training that made it so Trixie never had many friends , couldn’t leave the house much - it would have to pay off.

Gifted with an enchanted mirror and an enchanted rose by her mother - exact replicas to the beast’s , the Enchantress gave Trixie an ultimatum to make sure revenge was sated : give the Beast’s family the same fate he once bore ( essentially , transform them all into beasts like he used to be ) by the time the last petal falls , or be doomed to become a beast herself.

And . . . that’s where she is now. 

FACTS / CHARACTER

SO YES THAT’S IT - Trixie’s mother basically wants her to turn Belle, Adam , and their kids into beasts to get revenge or else Trixie’s gonna be the one turning into a beast if she doesn’t do it. And yes it’s fucking terrifying.

Nobody knows of this secret except for the two people involved in the deal - Trixie , and her mom. And by God Trixie does not want to do this.

And realistically , for RP purposes , I’m gonna inform you now that there is no way that the revenge is gonna be carried out. The Florians are fine. We all know she’s not gonna do it. But right now , since Trixie just got here and has that ultimatum , she doesn’t know that yet. So she’s struggling with a lose-lose situation since if she does do that , she makes herself an Auradonian criminal , and if she defies her mother and doesn’t , she becomes a beast and she has no idea how to undo a spell like that.

So yeah , just to clarify - nobody else really knows about this. Trixie keeps this deal hidden , and also hides the two items related to it in her closet ( the handmirror and rose ) so nobody finds them. Even though she routinely carries the mirror around with her and checks on the rose frequently because yes , its petals are starting to fall. 

Which brings me to my next point - Trixie has AMAZING power , and essentially , later on in her life it’s destined that she’ll become the next Enchantress. But because Trixie’s magical prowess isn’t manifesting fully yet , aka - it’s not showing on the outside , she doesn’t think she has much of a talent with it. She doesn’t know her own strength yet.

And of course , her mother knows of this. Her mother knows she’s going to excel - but there’s both difficulties in keeping that a secret and letting her become aware.

She keeps it a secret right now - it’s in an effort to keep Trixie under her thumb. But this is also proving difficult for Trixie to carry out the revenge scheme due to a lack of confidence paired with her morals.

If Trixie becomes aware of her power , then that means she’s going to find out she’s growing stronger as her mother’s magic is waning - kind of like the deal with the Supreme in American Horror Story. Trixie’s power grows stronger as her mother’s grows weaker , but that isn’t showing yet in the former of the two. 

So right now , Trixie is forcing herself to practice her magic to get stronger to appease her mother - even though honestly ?? She does not like magic. It terrifies her , and she blames her ability to use it for why her life kind of sucks right now.

To sort of make sure nobody is suspicious of her , Trixie doesn’t even tell people who her mother is. She just says her mother was a fling of Gaston’s banished to the Isle by association - that’s it.

And this is sort of how she’s managed to get a part-time job working in Ben’s castle as a maid to get close.

...Even though she really , really , really doesn’t like that.

But also !! One thing she has going for her is that despite everything - she is very outwardly FRIENDLY and optimistic - always smiley , always chatting up somebody up. This is sort of an effort to make herself feel better rather than put on a facade , since Trixie’s more keen on focusing on things that don’t make her feel sad to distract herself from the actual situation. 

“Trix you’re in denial” “I know.”

Also this sort of influence her tendency to ignore or run away from situations as much as she can bc... mood.

Acting in her own world is very normal for her - and it’s a major coping mechanism. She’s very creative , obsessed with fairytales and stories and probably knows the whole story about your parents more than you do. She in fact writes some of her own in her spare time , always keeping a journal around with her for writing when she’s bored.

Also keeps a dream journal ( mR. ELECTRICDAD SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED !!11!!1!!!!!! ) bc she is big into the belief our dreams have deeper meanings n stuff

She’s not the type to shy away from stuff tho in the sense of like... conversing about very out there topics or saying weirdass things that pop into her head. Sort of seen as a little weirdo for this but it all comes for the fact that Trixie is a HUGE thinker.

Also into the supernatural even on the slightly more malevolent side just bc she finds it interesting - she’s 100% the friend that proposes u guys try and summon demons during sleepovers

My lil weird baby

Looks rly good in green and red tbh and probably owns like forty-five different shades of lipstick since coming to Auradon 

Also has a lot of rose-patterned/themed stuff just bc frankly it’s cute. 

God as a character it’s so hard to describe her like... in words this sounds so pretentious but I do so much better showing and not telling bc her character is so complex in the sense that she’s. She’s like a dream. That’s the best way I can describe her - a dream as in the random , thought-induced , fantasy-like parts of dreams rather than the romantic parts of everything.

That probably makes no sense but. Yeah.

She’s weird I love her

Probably would do well in Wonderland if she didn’t have her mother lOOMING OVER HER HEAD

WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS 

OKAY SO PLSSS GIVE ME FRIENDS TRIXIE USED TO HAVE ON THE ISLE BUT SHE LOST TOUCH W/ FOR BEING SO... CLOSED IN

In general I just want friends that Trixie has that she can’t rly tell what’s going on with her. At all. And it breaks her heart bc she finally has the chance to fit in and get along with people but either way she decides to take her mother’s deal makes it so she can’t keep them.

Lots of secrets are gonna be passed about.

I’d lov her to eventually bond with sb so she can actually EXPLAIN her problem to and cry about it bc baby lowkey feels like she’s on her own in this and can’t turn to anyone for it

PPL WHO TRIXIE HELPS WITH WRITING BC SHE LOVES IT

Ppl who Trixie rly likes in any sense to point where she bases some fairytale characters in her own stories off of them

I’d also love some enemies pls gimme gimme gimme

Some ppl who suspect Trixie bc she seems so... vague. Like she’s not giving the full story.

Isle kids who know EXACTLY who Trixie’s mother is and for some reason resent her for tht bc I don’t think the Enchantress is the nicest magic user out there rn

Friendships that went sour bc Trixie’s been keeping so many SECRETS

First love who went sour for the same reasons : /

The general uhhhhh exes, crushes, that sorta stuff

Any ship that’s gonna b like a full on sHIP SHIP will have to b seen how chemistry works out !! But Trixie’s a panromantic asexual bby who I adore. 

I’d love some folks she aCCIDENTALLY exposes her magic to and they can either

A .) Blackmail her n threaten to expose her for it

or B.) Find it RLY RLY RLY cool n she just shows them a bunch of magic... trix

hahaha HAHAHAHAHA

please clap.

BT ALSO LETS DEFFO BRAINSTORM SOME !!! again i’ll be making an official connections page for her like i am w/ luke but in the meantime ! lets plot !

[ober-affen-geil]

My Roswell Rewatch liveblog

1x13 AKA Bitch You Thought

calling noah a demon interesting parallel given the god angle he takes later

MICHAEL STOP BREAKING ME FFS

“i don’t care what you need” AUGH

you know i’m still not sure why noah sucked on the end of that broken syringe because it did have the antidote but at that point it would have been mostly michael’s blood? idk. creeped my the fuck out tho

love how liz goes to maria after she’s had a bad day

THE POLLEN THE POLLEN THE POLLEN

“you can’t be guilty of something you can’t control” very true

“and that is the monster who killed him” LOVE the flipped use of the word “monster” here, although i think its ooc for alex to call n-38 a monster in the first place

at least flint is slightly sympathetic to alex jesus this family is so fucked

the handprint faded, its been 4 days tho? maybe because it wasn’t as much contact as max had

“she’s hope and fire” using present tense there interesting

poor max probably has brain damage by now being hit in the head so many times

also the way he says “bud” fucks me up

YES LIZ FUCKING YES

ngl this is really funny, poor isobel is so confused

was noah able to break the pollen’s hold faster because there was less or he was stronger? or both?

no liz you are not ok dammit

rip racist hank. you will not be missed

poor kyle. this is your life now you know that right

ok so noah can in fact be completely alert and control someone at the same time great fun awesome

“any redneck can work a gun” LMAO

love this moment between them. aw. “you lost a sister too” i cry

ugh love how alex was waiting for him

IT IS YOUR BLOOD MICHAEL YOU FUCKING LIAR

“but i did” THE EYE CONTACT UAGH

god FUCKING DAMMIT NOAH

ok wait, was that from max? or noah making sure to bring him there? or was isobel more conscious than she looks

“they’d never leave you here” ok backstory now please. og people are laughing at us rn i know

what’s interesting here is noah is implying that the aliens have been present on earth for a really long time, that they are the ones in our creation myths. maybe thats why they picked earth as a temporary sanctuary? because they’d used it before?

“hold him off michael” AHHHHHHUHGHHDSLHGS

ok this is hot ngl

oh he knew. he knew he was dead the second he stepped out of that cave. die bitch.

yeah iz, you get the last word boo

WHAT A THING TO WALK OUT INTO DAMN CAN YOU IMAGINE

poor kyle but michael trevino goes off yes work

this scene is a little on the nose tho. like i appreciate it but.

oh max is so fucking high rn

max my dude. stop

i’m sorry the noise michael makes fucking breaks me

also liz walking into the wrecked doorway with blood all over the floor looking for max is weirdly funny to me, and probably tells you all a lot about my psyche

this is a really lovely scene aw. yes be happy bbs. FOR NOW

“love is the worst thing that happened to me and i was in a spaceship crash” SO WAS ISOBEL YOU FUCKING ASS MICHAEL I’M JUST SAYING

“probably always will” fuck me i’m dead

ngl as soon as i saw the pod i knew. i KNEW ROSA WAS IN THERE FUCK

max is so soft ugh

“say hello to jim for me” JESSE YOU FUCK

kyle where is your trigger safety babe BUT GO OFF YES

“i can’t keep this secret from her” love the shared look with michael here

“like different powers” fuck yeah iz GO GET IT

listen to michael please. i know you wont but please.

aw. they’re both really broken and this fucking hurts.

THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE PICKS UP THE DAMN GUITAR I DIE

this whole last sequence i cannot ok

dark isobel fuck me all the way up

ohhhhhh maria’s FACE she KNOWS

“i’m here it’s gonna be ok” BIG SISTER HGFHLSDFLSDSHF

and there it is.

[qitwrites]

happy birthday dearest @ryugazakkis ♥. here’s a small textfic from your precious oikuro college!au. Hope you have an amazing day ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒

Kuroo: we’re out of eggs

Oikawa: and?

Kuroo: buy some

Kuroo: youre out loafing anyway

Oikawa: first of all, fuck u

Oikawa: secondly, im not loafing, im buying our face packs for this weeknd

Kuroo: ok, understandably important business

Kuroo: but Bo is craving my omu rice

Kuroo: and theres no eggs in the fridge

Oikawa: fyn. u both owe me.

Oikawa: i need to walk an extra 468m to reach the grocery place

Kuroo: do i want to knw y u have such an accurate measurement of the distance?

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: i get bored easily

Kuroo: u need new hobbies

Oikawa: once again, fuc k you

~

Oikawa: <link attached>

Oikawa: <link attached>

Oikawa: <link attached>

Oikawa: <link attached>

Kuroo: wtf is this

Oikawa: proof

Kuroo: of wat?

Oikawa: the existence of aliens you imbecille

Kuroo: im sorry, but im still not a believer tofu

Oikawa: traitor

Oikawa: y r we frnds?

Kuroo: because u love meeeeee

Oikawa: -.-

~

Kuroo: tooru

Oikawa: hmm?

Kuroo: i miss home

Oikawa: we get a break in two weeks

Oikawa: hang in there

Oikawa: im out rn

Oikawa: ill bring the ice cream

Kuroo: youre the best

Oikawa: i know

Kuroo: asshole

Oikawa: theres my tetsu-chan

Kuroo: <3

~

Oikawa: it’s fascinating, really

Kuroo: wat is

Oikawa: the way my face twists when someone says ushiwaka within 100 feet of me

Oikawa: bo snapped a pic

Oikawa: <image>

Kuroo: meme worthy

Kuroo: truly

Oikawa: honestly

Oikawa: the man manages to make beauty lyk mine look stale

Kuroo: that’s to say

Kuroo: u have any beauty at all

Oikawa: pfff

Oikawa: tetsu-chan please

Oikawa: ur a lot of things

Oikawa: and i mean A LOT

Oikawa: but blind is not one of them

Kuroo: ass

Oikawa: i don’t see u disagreeing

Kuroo: …….

Oikawa:  (✿´ ꒳ ` )

~

Kuroo: wat do u wanna watch 2night

Oikawa: well

Oikawa: im kinda in the mood for horror

Kuroo: i was thinking the sameee

Kuroo: saw 2?

Oikawa: yaaasss

Kuroo: also pizza

Kuroo: hawaiian or pepperoni

Oikawa: pepperoni pleasee

Kuroo: done done

Oikawa: thanks :*

~

Kuroo: oikawa

Kuroo: oikawa come on

Kuroo: tooru

Oikawa: i don’t wanna talk rn

Kuroo: i know it sucks to be fighting with iwa

Kuroo: bt just calm down and think abt it from his perspective

Kuroo: and dnt ever forget

Kuroo: he loves u

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: i know

Oikawa: i just need time

Kuroo: i know

~

Oikawa: dnt forget

Oikawa: we’re running tomorrow @ 5:30

Kuroo: i hate u

Kuroo: every single cell in my body

Kuroo: prays fr your untimely demise

Kuroo: is the sun even up that early

Oikawa: .______.

Oikawa: tat’s the point u idiot

Kuroo: i hate u

Oikawa: im aware

Oikawa: ill knock on ur door til u wake up

Oikawa: just saying

Kuroo: ur existence is sevearly regretted @ the moment

Oikawa: dnt be late darling

Oikawa: u can thank me later

Kuroo: go to hell

Kuroo: preferably before 5:30 in the morning

~

Oikawa: KUROO-MOTHERFUCKING-TETSUROU

Kuroo: yes dear?

Oikawa: will u

Oikawa: fr the love of all that is good and pure

Oikawa: stop changing my bg’s

Oikawa: to posivitely atrocious selfies of urself????

Oikawa: i had to show my prof something on my cell

Oikawa: and that picture just blares up at us

Oikawa: and ive never felt so horrifyingly embarrassed

Oikawa: his eyes Kuroo

Oikawa: he looked so betrayed

Oikawa: his hatred for me in that moment

Oikawa: could prob burn a hole through wood

Kuroo: brb

Kuroo: crying so har d rn

Kuroo: ur prof saw?

Kuroo: omggg

Kuroo: ◝( ′ㅂ`)و ̑̑

Oikawa: rot in the depths of tartarus

Kuroo: just as long as u wont be there

Oikawa: 🖕

~

Oikawa: kuroo

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: correct me if im wrong

Oikawa: bt did u just walk into class in your kitty pajama bottoms?

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: wit ur hair unbrushed

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: without shaving or even remotely grooming

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: zombie mode activated?

Kuroo: yeah

Oikawa: alrighty the n

Oikawa: ill get u coffee wen your class is done

Kuroo: blessed

Oikawa: monosyllabic bastard

~

Kuroo: u doing anything for the upcoming long weeknd?

Oikawa: i wanted to go home

Oikawa: bt my parents already planned a trip

Oikawa: so no

Kuroo: ok then youre coming

Oikawa: where

Kuroo: bo and i have planned a road trip

Kuroo: call iwa too

Oikawa: that sounds like fuuuun

Oikawa: o(≧∇≦o)

Kuroo: i know 

Kuroo: ρ(￣ﾍ￣ ﾒ)

Oikawa: iwa says yessss

Kuroo: awesome!

Kuroo: don’t forget sunscreen this time

Oikawa: it happened ONE TIME TETSU

Oikawa: let it go

Kuroo: u were pink for a week and half

Kuroo: im neve r letting that go

Oikawa: go fuck a trumpet

Kuroo: tempting

Kuroo: bt no thanks

Oikawa: y haven’t I blocked u yet jezuz

Kuroo: u keep asking urself that

~

Kuroo: <voice note>

Oikawa: from all that screaming and yelping

Oikawa: im assuming bo wants curry?

Kuroo: yas

Kuroo: me 2 actually

Oikawa: do we have any ingredients/

Kuroo: uhhh

Kuroo: i think a moth just flew outta the cupboard

Oikawa: ……

Kuroo: yeah ill go shopping

Oikawa: good idea

Oikawa: and take that hyper active eternally hungry puppy wid u

Kuroo: his name is bo

Oikawa: just goo

Oikawa: shooo

Kuroo: going going

~

Kuroo: sometimes i wish

Kuroo: the aliens had taken u

Kuroo: wen we offered u to them

Oikawa: same kuroo

Oikawa: same

Oikawa: (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Kuroo: wanna try again ?? ???

Oikawa: we’re too sober

Kuroo: not if i can help it

Oikawa: ill bring the tequila

Kuroo: i approve

~

Kuroo: Tooru

Kuroo: it’s not your fault

Kuroo: no matter what you or anyone else says or thinks

Kuroo: it’s not your fault

Oikawa: i am weak

Oikawa: so pathetically weak

Oikawa: coach should fucking bench me

Kuroo: open the door

Kuroo: I have wine, chocolates and bubblewrap

Oikawa: …..

Oikawa: I love you.

Kuroo: I love you too.

Kuroo: youre good enough

Kuroo: dont doubt that

~

Kuroo: daisho’s resemblance to reptiles

Kuroo: makes me truly believe in the existent of mutants

Oikawa: well, he’s certainly

Oikawa: whats the wor d

Oikawa: slimy

Kuroo: bo wants to strangle him for touching kei-chan

Oikawa: ill join him

Oikawa: my poor iwa-chan is suffering wid him 2

Kuroo: ugh

Kuroo: i hate him

Oikawa: i know

Kuroo: bleh

Oikawa: Netflix and cuddle?

Kuroo: Netflix and cuddle

~

Kuroo: <missed call>

Kuroo: <missed call>

Kuroo: <missed call>

Oikawa: wt actua l FUCK

Oikawa: its 3 AM

Oikawa: y u do this

Kuroo: i want tacos

Oikawa: ok just to put this in context

Oikawa: u have woken me at ass oclock in the morning

Oikawa: 2 get fucking tacos

Oikawa: hve i forgotten anything?

Kuroo: and churros!!!

Kuroo: im craving something sweeeet

Oikawa: im gonna kill u

Kuroo: yeah yeah no prob

Kuroo: see u in 5

Oikawa: …….

Oikawa: i want chocolate filled ones

Kuroo: attaboy

~

Oikawa: i think the four extra months ive spent on this planet

Oikawa: has given me this undeniably invaluable insight of the world

Oikawa: im sorry u cant ever experience this kurooo

Kuroo: that’s alright

Kuroo: i see things in a way diff from u

Oikawa: how so????

Kuroo: i mean

Kuroo: i am 3.4 entire cms taller

Kuroo: the view is simply breathtaking

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: fuck u

Kuroo: ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)

~

Oikawa: hey

Oikawa: wen u free?

Kuroo: i got tomorrow evening off

Kuroo: what’s up?

Oikawa: i wanna work on that spike wid u

Oikawa: also blocking practice with bo

Kuroo: im game

Oikawa: good

Oikawa: we need cooler hand signs too

Kuroo: tots agree

Kuroo: we’ll brainstorm alright?

Oikawa: sounds like a plan

Oikawa: ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

~

Kuroo: code ET

Kuroo: i repeat

Kuroo: CODE ET

Kuroo: which means i am VERY sad

Oikawa: got it got it

Oikawa: ill meet u at the regular spot in 10

Oikawa: and ill bring bo

Kuroo: and my hoodie

Oikawa: and your hoodie

Kuroo: cookies and cream?

Oikawa: ye s plis

Oikawa: bo will have mint choco

Kuroo: got it

Kuroo: come fastly

Oikawa: almost there

~

Oikawa: just for 10 mins

Oikawa: ill only practice serves

Oikawa: i swea r

Kuroo: for the last time

Kuroo: NO

Kuroo: you are going to rest your knee till its better

Kuroo: even bo is mad this time

Kuroo: he wont let u on this court either

Oikawa: can i watch?

Kuroo: nope

Kuroo: focus on healin g

Kuroo: idiot

Oikawa: ……

Oikawa: im sorry

Kuroo: don’t be

Kuroo: we miss u too

~

Oikawa: i may not say this all the time

Oikawa: but your existence is appreciated Kuroo

Oikawa: thank u for coming into my life all those many years ago

Oikawa: and dealing with my stream of bullshit

Kuroo: likewise

Kuroo: <voice note>

Oikawa: pfff

Oikawa: tell bo I love him too

Kuroo: will do

Kuroo: oh bt w

Kuroo: Tooru?

Oikawa: yeah ?

Kuroo: i still don’t believe in aliens

Oikawa: F UCK YOU

Kuroo: I love you too

Kuroo: ♥♥

[ponyregrets]

Is there any way you can do a Clarke POV for "No One Can Lift the Damn Thing" please? (I was going through your fics and was listing all the ones I would want an Alt-POV for, and they all involved Bellamy as James Potter, wow I have A Type.)

I feel kinda bad calling this a Clarke POV but whatev I had fun I like social media AUs

Original fic and alt POV on AO3!!

Raven: Just got my invite to Finn and Ontari's weddingYou?

Me: NopeDo you think they flipped a coin?Or she just gave him an ultimatum?LikeYou can invite one of your awkward exesBut only oneChoose wisely

Raven: Honestly, I'm guessing he never actually told his mom why we broke upAnd given the choice between telling her he cheated on me and I dumped his assAnd just inviting me to his weddingHe invited me to his wedding

Me: Yeah, that's definitely what happenedAre you going to go?

Raven: YupGot a hot girlfriendI like his parentsAnd I want him to feel awkward about shitToo bad he didn't invite you

Me: I really don't mindI feel like I dodged a bullet

Raven: You could have brought BellamyFinn was jealous of him BEFORE he was famous for being hotImagine how much he'd hate seeing you guys together now

Me: You know, I was going to say Bellamy has better things to do than go to a wedding just to piss off FinnBut then I remembered this is Bellamy we're talking aboutSo he'd probably do it

Raven: Yeah, I doubt fame changed him that muchSucks that you're not coming, thoughWe should get together soon

Me: Maybe I'll just come hang out in townCoincidentally

Raven: I know you're joking, but you shouldI bet Monty and Miller are going

Me: I'll think about it

*

supreme-girl-wonder posted: do you ever get amazed that people you went to college with are now getting married and have lives and seem to know what they're doing?? I think I might have the most competent group of college friends ever, it's really intimidating

but congrats to my cheating ex-boyfriend on his engagement and thanks for not inviting me to the wedding

Tagged: #no seriously #thanks #I really did not want to go #it would be awkward af but if he invited me I'd feel like I had to go #or else they were winning #glad I don't have to worry about that #I can just get drunk in the comfort of my own home instead

*

Bellamy: Did you book your hotel for Finn's wedding yet?What days are you going to be there?

Me: Hahaha that's cuteYou think Finn invited me to his wedding

Bellamy: He didn't?He invited me

Me: You're rich and famous

Bellamy: So are you, princessAre we calling you that again? Did we reclaim it from Finn?

Me: I prefer Supreme Leader nowI'm rich, but I'm not featured in tumblr gif setsPeople commission me to do fanart of you

Bellamy: And you haven't sent it to me?I thought we were friends, Clarke

Me: Is James/Sirius a pairing you're into?

Bellamy: Obviously

Me: Then I'll send you some links

Bellamy: AwesomeFinn really didn't invite you to the wedding?

Me: He used to hit on me in front of the woman he's now marryingWhile they were datingShe hated meOf course they didn't invite meThey'd probably keel over and die if I showed upRelated: Did you get a plus one?

Bellamy: YeahI was planning to get them really excited thinking I was bringing some famous actress or something and then I show up with Octavia

Me: Or you could show up with me

Bellamy: Yeah, that's a way better ideaSo, what nights do you want me to book the hotel?

*

Anonymous asked: do u know if bellamy blake has a gf????

supreme-girl-wonder answered: why would you ask me, a fanart blog, this

*

Bellamy: Is it weird that I feel bad flying first class?

Me: DefinitelyBut you're famous nowI assume you can afford a therapist to talk you through these issues

Bellamy: Why would I pay someone when you took that one psych course sophomore year?

Me: Good pointBad how?

Bellamy: Guilty, mostlyIt feels like such a waste of moneyBut holy shit it's so much nicerI feel bad for everyone who isn't in first class

Me: I'm flying coach soFuck you

Bellamy: I don't feel bad for you

Me: Wow, you're curedI'm better at this therapy thing than I thought

Bellamy: Ha ha.I hope the tone came across thereAnyway, I don't feel bad for you because you're richI assume you flew first class when you were a kidAlso I have to switch to airplane modeYou're boarding soon?

Me: Pretty soon, yeah

Bellamy: CoolSee you in Ohio

Me: Can't wait

*

siriusly-jily: omgkarakaradid u see the new bellamy pics????

supreme-girl-wonder: probably notI'm out of town for the weekendand pretty drunkwhat happened?

siriusly-jily: he's at some airport in ohioidk why, there aren't any cons or anythingwhat's in ohio????

supreme-girl-wonder: maybe he has a lifein ohiofor some reason

siriusly-jily: no wayactors exist only for our benefit :Panyway, he's got a gf :(people are saying it's clarke griffinthe vp's daughter

supreme-girl-wonder: wowam I just drunk or is that a lot of conclusions to jump to

siriusly-jily: check it outhttp://remus-lupin-lady.tumblr.com/post/138742714390/omg-omg-omgthere's more of him with fans but lbrthat's A LOT of huggingand I googled, it does look like the VP's daughter

supreme-girl-wonder: if they were dating they probably wouldn't be having their reunion in an airport in ohiojust saying

siriusly-jily: truuuuuuuuuuuuuuokay I gotta go to bedhave fun with whatever thing you're doing

supreme-girl-wonder: will dokeep me posted on Bellamy pics

*

Jasper: did you really bring FAMOUS ACTOR AND KNOWN DREAM BOAT BELLAMY BLAKE to this wedding???

Me: NopeHe brought me

Jasper: ohwellthat was my second guessgrats on landing a celebritybut I guess you're a celebrity too???so it makes sense

Me: You must be this famous to ride Are you coming over for video games?

Jasper: yes obvomw

*

Anonymous asked: omg kara do you follow m&m media??? they posted pix of them w bellamy and the vp's daughter??? apparently they're engaged??? im so heartbroken rn plz help

supreme-girl-wonder answered: Don't panic, anon! M&M have said they went to college with him like ten billion times. Quick google search says VP's daughter did too. So they're probably at a reunion or something. And let's be real, if you were posing for a picture with him, you'd want to be as close as possible too.

*

Raven: SooooooYou took off early last night

Me: Not THAT earlyWe danced a bunchI think Bellamy made a lot of dreams come true

Raven: Including yours?Seriously, I can't believe you never fucked him

Me: I was going to, but his mom diedBetter late than never, right?

Raven: [confetti emoji]Seriously I'm happy for you guysOne-time thing or?

Me: NoDefinitely notWe're going to try to dateIf we can make it workAnd if nothing elseNon-stop sex for the rest of the weekend

Raven: Well, we're doing breakfast in an hourSo make sure you come up for air so we can make fun of you

Me: You make it sound so funGetting breakfastInstead of having sex with my TV star boyfriend

Raven: One hourIf you're not there I'm going to break into your hotel room and post pics on tumblr

Me: OkaySee you in an hour

Raven: [kiss emoji]

*

natsukashii-na asked: Random question but do you have a gf now?? You've been reblogging some couple-y stuff and I was just wondering haha sorry if that's weird

supreme-girl-wonder answered: Boyfriend, actually! Bisexuality: it's awesome. But yeah, we've been together for about a month and it's going really well. Long distance right now but I'm moving in with him in a couple weeks. I'm really excited.

Tagged: #I know that sounds fast but #trust me #it definitely took us long enough

*

Anonymous asked: doesn't your bf mind that you're really into bellamy blake :/

supreme-girl-wonder answered: He'll live.

[adambstingus]

Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182227933232

[allofbeercom]

Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/

[unicornninjabitch]

Follower: literally no one asked for a depressing ass life update

Me; …… lol you wild anyways

I hate not being able to ask for help and i hate not being able to stand up for myself. Growing up i was thrown into a lot of fights between my parents and i always felt like i had to pick a side and stick to it and i usually sided with my mom for reasons we dont gotta get into rn so me and my mom have been super close like my whole life. She was all I had for most of my life because i was a kid playing parent since my mom worked a lot and my dad wanted to do whatever he wanted, so imagine little me barely out of elementary school trying to make sure my 5 year old brother is doing homework and the angry 8 year old isnt being a complete asshole to the 5 year old. I never really got to just be a kid cause i was making sure the house wouldnt fall apart under our feet, so now that im being thrown to the wolves as far as growing up goes I don’t think its fair that when i ask for help i get looked down on and belittled and get looked at like im some stupid kid, like, i was never allowed to just be a stupid kid so how come now that im 18 and dont know how to do everything immediately am i suddenly a stupid kid who probably cant make it in the real world? Its bullshit and not fair. Tbh its not just that i cant ask for help with cause growing up i thought asking for help meant weakness and i had to be strong cause i was the oldest and asking for help meant stressing out my mom even more than she was cause she had a hard time putting food on the table by herself.

As for standing up for myself, okay i havent hidden that my mom hasnt been supportive in any way after i came out cause i try to cover it up with humor, but like, she was my best friend for so many years when i had no one else to lean on (and thats a story for another day tbfh) she was like all i had. She was supportive of my writing even when it sucked and when i wanted to be a teacher but its like she did a 180 or some shit. Okay so when i switched to wanting to do psych she was kinda like “okay but make sure a certificate will be transferable or whatever” and one time i said how i THOUGHT about MAYBE doing english as a major cause i love writing and i thought maybe i could start up a publishing company that mostly published books centered around minorities cause that seemed like something id enjoy tbh, but she shitted all over even the thought of majoring in english just like “What job could you possibly get with an english degree?” and her friend, with an english degree, told me an English degree is basically useless and like??yes i understand english isnt the most employable degree but maybe i want more to life than a job, maybe i wanted to do something im passionate about or something (dont get me wrong im really passionate with my current career path but still it was an idea i was really into and wanted to learn more about and i still wanna double major but besides the point) I couldnt even explaing why i was thinking about that major i kinda defulted to head down, shoulders drop, say “yeah maybe you gotta point” and like thats not fair to me i dont think. That was the start of the slippery slope of her becoming more and more unsupportive with everything i do. I didnt apply to that many schools and most the final 2 were Elizabethtown College and University of Bridgeport, Etown was way more expensive and i kinda didnt want to go there tbh but they said i could apply for free so i did. Now for college i did EVERYTHING myself. I looked up colleges, compared prices and scholarships, took notes on all the majors and minors i thought i could want, applied on my own and anything else I did by myself. Looking back i realize i probably shouldve applied to more schools or looked more at the professors or something, but i didnt cause i didnt know to, but she gave me such a hard time with UB. She complained about everything about it until i finally said “fine ill just go to county and then Rutger or something” (which isnt a bad plan and wouldve saved me a shit ton of money but i wanted to get tf away from jersey) Thats when she said fine and said she’d help financially (even though the loans getting transfered to my name after i graduate but okay). So there was kinda a wedge in our relationship but nothing huge we were still pretty close but we just ignored certain subjects like school and shit. Then in the summer she gave me hell for not working like we agreed i wouldnt work during the school year cause i speant so much of junior year wanting to kill myself and was so fucking depressed we, as in the both of us, decieded on that, than in the VERY begining of summer i broke my fucking ankle, so i couldnt really walk anywhere and i dont drive (side note, i hate when driving gets brought up because just sitting behind the wheel gives me so much anxiety, like yes its a good skill to have but i cant drive so please leave me alone i hate myself for it enough) Plus i speant a majority of the summer super depressed and anxiety ridden and kinda scared about a lot of stuff.So it was nice to hear i was lazy and ungrateful when somedays it took everything to get out of bed to feed myself let alone clean up around the house. Also as a certified Millennial™  I cover my self hatred and depression with jokes and memes o the one day i make a joke about it and she said “you dont really hate yourself, you wouldnt know what that feels like” Okay 1. I most definetly hate myself just cause i dont walk around super edgy and emo doesnt mean i stopped critizing my every action, just cause you dont notice me not letting myself eat/eating everything in sight doesnt mean i dont wish i looked like literally anything else. No i hate myself i just cover it up so fuck off.

Then theres coming out (which gets its own paragraph cause its a fucking mess). I came up via a letter that i left in her room and she didnt say anything for maybe a week so i speant a week with my defult being panic attack or “maybe everythings gonna be okay i mean she hasnt really said my name i dont think and maybe everythings okay and youre just freaking out for nothing” but nope we had a talk and if you dont know apperently you have to know right out of the womb that your trans. My moms best friend has a niece whos trans and she was given so much shit from the adults in her life just and still does (this kids literally 14 and they treat the poor girl like such shit its awful) and i was never into sterotypical “boy things”. I didnt like sports other than soccer but only for fun, I was very much the quiet kid who usually had his nose in a book, so i think that mixed with seeing this little girl treated like trash by people we both loved and looked up to (cause my moms best friends family is kinda like a second family to me) i never thought that could ever be me. Later in life i questioned my sexuality and looking at a bunch of terms and things some of them related to me, but i thought no ill put that on the back burner for now just cause maybe im just projecting/thinking about it too much rn. Then even later in life Kate came out to me and we talked and i noticed some similarities in what she said to what i felt, so i looked up terms and definitions and took online quizzes almost all day everyday to figure out what was going on with me. Almost as long as i known Kate shes been my safe person, especially with this just in case I realized no this isnt who i am or whatever, but either way Kate was a huge support and great person to rely on and my fears and other stuff. After more constant quizzes and reading and asking myself if i just wanted to be a *~special snowflake~* and testing waters and shit I decieded yes this is who i am...shit im gonna have to come out. My mom basically said “you arent trans, youre making this up and being ridiculous. Im not calling you that name and i wont call you he/him and that hurt a lot. Like she didnt even say Alexander she said “whatever name you put”. Mind you im absolutely heart broken cause i thought if anyone my mom would be supportive. She offered if Kate ever wanted she could crash with us and she calls her best friends niece the right name, but when it came to me she thought it was fake. Now at this point im trying not to cry out loud and im clenching my jaw so hard it hurt till the next afternoon. I dont know if its just me or what, but it feels like after that shes rubbing it in. It feels like shes using my birth name more and saying she/her and shit. She also acted like i was an idiot like i know that changing my name is a process, but she also said if any of my college stuff had Alexander on it she wouldnt help pay for it which really hurt. I really try to ignore/avoid her just cause it hurts less than figurative slaps to the face its like, *slap* girl, *slap* birthname, *slap* liar, *slap* making it up, *slap* thats not how it works, *slap* youre being disrespectful as hell, *slap* you arent a boy *fucking uppercut*, but i cant always ignore her which leads to tonight.

My cousins had like a little party for their birthday and it was awful for me (in their defense im not out to them but still it makes me super uncomfortable but its not their fault really). We looked at baby pictures so it was a lot of “omg look how pretty you were” and “oh my goodness i love that dress you look so beautiful there” Then my hair, of course got brought up and people were like “oh you know girls are so much prettier with long hair” and “when are you gonna grow it back out like hers?” (cause you know girls HAVE to have long hair *sarcasm*) so i just kinda awkwardly laugh and change the subject. Of course my moms pointing out all the pictures of me in a dress or with long hair or whatever. Then it was super fun picture time!! I hate pictures (that i dont take cause those are under my control and shit) for a lot of reasons. I always feel like i look fat and i notice everything thats “feminine” about my body and we already went over the self hate thing but still i hate pictures and im visibly uncomfortable while theyre happening. Someone says “oh stop youll love them in 20 years” like or ill hate them cause ill remember being so uncomfortable and so ready to walk home and ill remember not being able to forget that my whole family will probably always think im a girl no matter what i do. Then we get on to college. Im the first to go to college and everyone was like where are you going, what are you majoring in blah blah blah. So i answer their questions and be a polite kid. And everytime someone asked when i was leaving my mom jumped on it “3 weeks from today!!” like shit so by the end of the night my binders starting to get uncomfortable, im socially tired, ive been uncomfortable for 20 minutes, and im hating the amount of hugs im getting cause i can feel my boobs more than and shit. So someone said something about me leaving so i was like “you still have like a month” and of course my mom goes “3 weeks!!” so im fucking annoyed by everything and like just ready to go to CT now so im like “we get it your counting down the days i leave” and she got an attitude so i turn to my uncle and say im about to make it 2 weeks and shes like how about 1? So i just shrug and say okay bye like im unfazzed right now. Then we go drop my brother off at our dads and as soon as we pull away shes yelling at me about my “attitude lately” like what??!! Youve ruined so much for me lately im allowed to be angry! You destroyed my confidence about coming out. You made me feel like something was wrong with me. YOU completely destroyed our relationship and maybe i did too, but you know what?! Im completely justified in being uncomfortable around you! When my 14 year old brother (who has been really amazing and apologized for having to call me my birth name which he didnt have to cause he knew im only out to a handful of people but it was still sweet of him) asked how you were about this you said what you said to me which is fucking bullshit!! Youve treated me like shit lately and youll walk in and start nagging/complaining/yelling at me cause you dont know how to handle your angry which ive delt with for so fucking long!! Like when am i allowed to be mad at you?! When am i allowed to say no ive had it with your bullshit?!! But of course i dont know how to actual articulate this without a huge fight going off cause those just trigger a huge anxiety attack and shit and screaming and fighting is something i avoid at almost every cost because its scary to me fo a million and three reasons. Like im so ready to burry my ass in debt just to keep out of this house like i dont want to be anywhere near here. I dont wanna come home ever. I want to stay in CT forever just so i dont have to deal with this shit which i know probably isnt healthy but whatever i dont care anymore she gives me so much shit i dont care.

But i still feel guilty i guess. Ive never been ANGRY at my mom, i rarely fought with her, she was always my rock and i know what certain holidays, mostly Christmas, mean to her, but i dont know if i can bring myself to come home just to be around her so much and fall back into being called my birthname or she/her or whatever. I dont know i feel bad not wanting to come home because the boys moved in with our dad (which i cant do for reasons that dont need to be talked about atm) and i dont want to make her sad cause shes my mom, but i dont want to hurt myself because shes my mom, you know?

I dont care about our relationships, me being trans isnt going away a few years (which she told me we could revisit this in a few years like bitch what??!!) wont mean anything except me, once again, doing everything completely on my fucking own! Ill be alone and it feel like almost like i always be alone, like maybe ill go to CT and still wind up with the Fuck Up™ gene being very present in my life. Idk somedays i just feel like maybe no ones supposed to saty in my life, which i dont want to be true cause rn i have some amazing people in my life and im scared theyll leave too just meant to be abandoned and alone or something. The thing is im a sentimental, touch starved, emotional piece of shit and i really love people being consistent in my life and being left alone is such a huge fear of mine and i feel like some of my friends are already disappearing from my life (which i know happens and is natural especially after school but it still hurts to some degree ig)

So yeah lifes kinda full of bullshit right now and i cant wait to move out and study almost year round to avoid being home as much as possible and theres really no reason to this other than for me to complain about life and shit ig

[survivorindia]

Whatever Forever- jaiden (Episode 3)

Anyway!!!!!!!! I just got elimed and whew I'm just feeling so many emotions. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown the immunity to save lexi, maybe I should've kept ace over Ashley,maybe I never really had a chance in this game in the first place. Overall? I just feel bad for promising lexi that I'd help keep her in the game and then immediately flopping, and for Kendall, leaving my one tru ally by herself, I hope the swap goes in her favour and that both of them can vote out the rest of the returnee heroes, some revenge is always nice TBH. Ashley, gav and Alex, I really did trust two of you and I was gonna stay loyal so it sucks that y'all flipped so easily, of course the fact that Ashley had an idol probably wasn't the best thing, but we could've figured something out. I hope the three of you get elimed soon or at least prejury bc you know the great dan whatever his last name is said flippers never win and well it's no fun seeing snakes get far either TBH ! And I know y'all won't be reading this til later but good luck newbies I hope y'all truly slay this game bc really some of these returnees I would really rather see get elimed except maybe Kendall and Jordan pines. This has been a fun game for the most part, the challenges were great, the hosts were greater (even David Robb) and I met some good people in my short stay here! Do I have some regrets? Yeah but I wouldn't have wanted to play this game any other way. Keep an eye out for me in the returnee season :~) single digits I'm still coming for ya!

So not much has happened this round. We won, yet again. And my #1 ally out of everyone in this game, my good friend Monte, was sadly voted out. But best believe I'm gonna win this game for him!

What in the heckie is Nicole doing?

What the FUCK? These people need to CHILL out. It's our fault - we made the mistake, the hosts don't have to babysit us every step of the way. Now we gotta own it and win this tiebreaker - honestly, Danny g'luck (I WAS FORCED TO MAKE THIS S/O) to these people, because they are getting on my nerves with their complaining rn. 

We keep winning. I love that. But Jordan Pines might wanna blindside me... so to that I say:

Am I exaggerating? A little bit. I think. I don't know. I'm being weird and emotional so idk what the fuck I'm actually thinking... I hope I get voted out next at this point yay

Okay, everyone listening? Two common misconceptions about pegging: If a man likes pegging, he must be gay. If you peg a straight man, he will become gay. Cue Laughter and Eye Roll - Both of these are so ridiculous as to be laughable on so many levels. Gender preference has nothing to do with the sex toys you like to play with...or the area of your body you like your partner to play with. For those of you who have fears around this - please excuse the laughter...though I do find the concept quite humorous. Think of it this way...If a straight man enjoys getting pegged by a woman there is no reason whatsoever to think that all of a sudden he will crave sex with men. Just like if a straight woman enjoys receiving oral sex from a man there is no reason whatsoever to think that she will suddenly want to be a lesbian. See how silly that sounds? (Now if the man is bisexual, just ignore all this and go to the next blog post because he prefers both genders so these points are moot.) A man who wants his ass fucked is gay, you say? Bullshit. (I seem to be in a sassy mood tonight.) Remember, the male ass is the source of an amazing amount of pleasure via the prostate gland. Whether a man experiences that pleasure from his lady's finger(s), his own finger(s), a toy (there are so many), his lady’s strap-on, a butt plug, his partner's finger(s) or his partner's cock makes no difference. All of the above are simply various examples of the pursuit of pleasurable sensations from an ass. Many really nice toys are specifically made for anal pleasure! That should give you a bit of pause. Maybe the people buying these items know something....just like the 150 - 200 million gay men in the world. But wait - I'm probably confusing you... Unexplored Ecstasy - The point here is that anal exploration is about pleasure, not an indicator of gender preference. What I find a shame is that so many straight men will not indulge in that pleasure because of these misconceptions along with the bullshit social stigma attached to it. Maybe it's just me (standing here ready with my strap-on), but that sounds like a lot of pleasure being abstained from...and oh my the word abstinence  in any form is not a popular one amongst the pleasure seekers that have found their way to Pegging Paradise! I am certain there are men out there who secretly would love to have their ass teased with...well, a variety of things. These men hesitate to ask for it because they fear their partner's reaction to their request or the reaction of others if they found out. All of this is fed by the original misconceptions as well as a puerile dose of idiotic homophobia. Get over it, people! I know...easier for me to say here in Southern California when some of you might be in conservative strait-laced sex-negative hell somewhere. But hey - we need to start somewhere, right? Are you going to let other people's narrow-minded attitudes affect your pursuit of pleasure in the privacy of your own bedroom (hotel room, board room, etc)? I think not. No Fear - So Ladies, I urge you to get over your own fears that if you fuck your man in the ass with a strap-on dildo the gay fairy will instantly appear and sprinkle him with magic gay dust and you will lose him forever to his own gender. Okay? If you can't let go of that fear, you have no business strapping on a dildo. I mean really...are you going to follow him around after you fuck him and be suspicious of all of his encounters with males? Let it go, ladies. And when you get your man where you want him and you have your way with him...don't kiss and tell. Especially if you live in one of those strait-laced sex-negative hell places I spoke of previously. Instead, treasure the vulnerability your man has shared with you and let him know that come hell or high water or nosy girlfriends, he can trust you to keep that part of your sex life confidential. Pleasure Seeking - Gentlemen, the other part of the formula here is you. If you are clear about which gender you prefer, that's your stable base. Do your best to let go of any homophobic comments you have heard, read or even, heaven forbid, said. Your anus is a part of your body that, when properly stimulated, offers a whole new world of pleasure. Orgasms with anal stimulation are most times much more intense and produce much more cum (that's always fun). Given just that, why wouldn't you want to at least check it out? If you love it, all that means is that you love getting fucked with a strap-on by the woman who makes you hot. There is no "Insta-gay" phenomenon that happens if your lady pegs you. As one man put it: I like breasts with my strap-on, thank you! Pegger/Peggee - Wouldn't it be awesome if people who were into pegging walked around in T-Shirts that said, simply, "Pegger" or "Peggee"? I mean - relatively few people who are not kink-oriented know the sexual meaning of the word so lovingly created by Dan Savage. So the masses of people leading lives of quiet desperation (read: sex-negative) wouldn't have a clue what it meant. And if asked, one could always say with a smile, "Look it up on Wikipedia". Just make sure it's a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile as you say the words and they just might look it up. Presto, you have just spread the word about a luscious, sexy, pleasure-filled act that couples can add to their carnal repertoire. You may have changed their lives forever...in a rather explosive way.

AHAHAHAHAHA @GAVIN

THOSE BOYS WANT TRIBAL TN BECAUSE WE LOST IMMUNITY AND IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS I DONT WANT TO DIE I HAVE SO MANY PLANS IF JORDAN SACRIFICE ME FOR NICOLE OKOKOKOK 

So... mission successful. Let's quickly debrief: 1. Ashley trusts me a lot more after I told her details that Alex told me in private. Making Ashley feel like she was on shaky ground further resulted in her letting me know that she has an idol. Whether or not it is true is besides the point... the true crux of the matter is that I have Ashley left in the game with three people she can't trust and me... so that means I ought to be her #1. 2. Alex and I are as tight as ever. Even despite giving Ashley information, I was able to quickly fix that bond. I genuinely like and trust Alex, but I can't let the cloud my judgement. He's very close to Kendall, which scares me, but I have looked to leverage that in our post-tribal call. In my conversations with Alex, I want to make him feel like he is calling the shots while still looking to provide input. Thus far, I think I have done that. With Ashley allegedly having the idol (information that was supposed to be "kept secret" but was totally not "kept secret" xD), I have talked to Alex extensively about the next vote and I've made a deal with him to take out Karen rather than Kendall... while also *hopefully* keeping Ashley's idol in play. My goal here is to come out of this with both Ashley and Alex working independently, but all in all, nonetheless in my best interests. In short, the way this tribe seems to be shaking out is that there is this façade of autonomy and power that Karen and Kendall have. They have this illusion that they call the shots, while it really is Alex and I that hold the cards in this dynamic. Kendall, to get Alex completely on my side... I need to spare you to gain his trust, BUT MARK MY WORDS I'M GOING FOR YOU! *Nothing against you, just your social game is very very strong but annoyingly obvious too ;3* Oh. And Ace got voted out too... I guess.

I never really made an opening confessional, so here I go I guess? I am really... really excited to be back. It's so easy for so many people to say "Oh yeah I've played a ton, people want me back." We see it with a ton of people, and that's not a bad thing. People want to see them back for a big reason. But I never had that. Coming off of Malaysia I was hated and people did not really respect me for who I was and thought that I was some awful person and player. It definitely hit me hard a bit, but at the time I was like, okay that's fine, there's other seasons. Tumblr does a lot. And so I applied. I applied for Sri Lanka with Marie and didn't make it. I applied for Rebels vs Rogues and didn't make it. I applied for Bora Bora and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Generations and wasn't casted, or I didn't believe I was going to have time due to time conflicts. I wasn't contacted for Maldives. I missed the application for Tenochtitlan. I applied for Sicily and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Bangladesh and didn't make it. I wasn't contacted for Arabia (though there may have been apps and I missed it). I wasn't contacted for Myanmar. And I was super excited to finally get this chance to play in Lazio but I missed the acceptance of my application. And going back to all the times I had tried to play or just was kind of ignored it was rough. I kind of thought I was done. And now I'm here playing in India. After over a year on and off of trying to play this game again. And to be honest, I'm hella pumped. Because I've missed out on so many chances to play. I think it says something when even parts of my Malaysia cast aren't even excited to see me on the season. This is kind of my opportunity to prove people wrong. My personality showed even at this Tribal where I literally told Gavin his answer to the Tribal Question was awful and completely wrecked Ace after he wished us a heartfelt goodbye. I want people to know that I am playing as hard as I can. I'm not here to change who I am to impress people. I'm here to show who I am so that I can prove to people that I'm not some worthless player who doesn't deserve to be back; I definitely feel like some people think that is the truth. I'm going to prove people wrong. Count on it.

I know I said I wanted to be a villain but goddamn, this is pretty fucked up. Oh right context because mind reading technology hasn't been invented quite yet. To make a long story short, Karen made an alliance chat with our victim (Ashley) and now it has a name and now it is terrible. Alex brings up voting Karen and that raisin I call a heart was all like "YAAASS QUEEN!" And my brain was tempted by the #bigmove but getting rid of Karen... is truthfully not to my benefit. Sure Karen is manipulative but she seems to trust me. She confides in me with information and she includes me in all her fucked up little schemes. In a sense, I'm the Trish to her Tony. If Trish and Tony were two gay and emotionally stunted children of course. Plus she has the connections to the other side that could get us far into the game and I am confident enough in our friendship that she will stay by my side. Of course, I will remain wary of her but for now I think our relationship is mutually beneficial. Karen needs me for back up in her schemes. I need Karen to get where I want to get. She gives me information. Information I can collect in to a giant web of evidence, so when the day comes when I turn on her, I'll have the evidence via receipts to back me up. Karen never deletes anything, I am planning on using that to my advantage.

So I was reallllyyyyyy close to using my idol tonight, and I totally would have wasted it if I had. Gavin advised me that I would be okay, and so did Alex and Kendall but like something didn't feel right. I had heard that Ace heard my name from Karen and I was like well shit. She had literally just today come to me and told me that we were all good and that she didn't hold the last game we played together against me. Like there are no hard feelings. but due to everything that was happening I kind of doubted that. But tbh I love Gavin and Alex and really hope we can work together for the next few rounds. Or even longer, who knows. I still am unsure about Karen and Kendall, as I don't really know them that well. But hopefully everything works out.

Oh I also definitely told Gavin I have an idol.... idiot move? We shall see. 

I am so glad we won immunity. It for sure would have been me or Lexi next if we had gone to tribal. It looks like Johnny and Whitney aren't too upset that I didn't vote with them but I can't take my chances. I had been searching for the idol for a while with no luck so I asked Lexi to help me find it. She found it within a few hours lol. We didn't find the idol but we found the idol grid. It's relieving to know it couldn't have been found right away. This gives me and her time to find it. Hopefully we'll get it before anyone else and we'll be set for the rest of the time on this tribe. I doubt anyone else on our tribe has found the idol page or would suspect that we found it. I'm thinking long term so the game plan would be using the idol on lexi and getting rid of Liam. If we happen to go to a tribal council after that we could try to get Whitney or Johnny to flip to our side. Even if they don't want to we can always force a tie so Lexi and I still have a strong chance of succeeding. We just have to find that idol!

This has been a crazy round. I'm glad the immunity challenge was changed to something that required more skill. The tribe worked very well as a team. There's an obvious divide between us so I'm glad we were able to get some time to bond and unite. As for the results, it was upsetting that the returnee heroes made such a big deal out of not getting theirs in on time. The rules clearly stated it was first to 10 pm. I'm sure we would've accepted defeat if we didn't send it faster than them. It was bad sportsmanship on their part. The tiebreaker was so stressful. I stepped up and I was so afraid of letting the team down. I knew if we went to tribal my only ally left, Lexi, would be voted off. There was a lot of pressure on me and I was honestly so anxious. I felt so victorious beating Kendall by 7 minutes. I hope my tribemates remember this next time we go to tribal and don't vote me out. I feel like I've done a lot for our tribe so I think I'm safe for now. I'm really hoping the tribe swap comes within the next two rounds. We can only win so many immunities and Lexi and I are on the bottom so we really need it asap.