#given name i Would Rather Not actively introduce myself with it if possible... ach! such is life.

[leatherbookmark]

was all \(￣︶￣*\)) about poasting on a kpop community on dw, but then i noticed an introduction post! yay! i love introduction posts! except oops, you gotta introduce yourself with a name, like normal people do. stressing

[serenlyss]

For the Sake of a Smile Chapter 4

Rating: G Relationships: terumob, teru&reigen, teru&ritsu, shigeo&ritsu, teru&tome Chapter Summary: Teru interviews for a part-time job. Crossposted to AO3: Chapter 4

Chapter 3 // Chapter 5

"Invest in what’s real. Clean as you go. Drink while you cook. Make it fun. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It will be what it will be." — Gwyneth Paltrow

---

Teru stares up at the cafeteria menu and feels his stomach drop.

In retrospect, he should have known that such a posh school would have equally nice and expensive food, but staring at the prices on the board above his school’s lunch line, he realizes just how ridiculous they really are.

How does anyone afford this? he wonders to himself bitterly, counting bills in his head. He hasn’t exactly brought a ton of spending money with him from home, just whatever he’d had saved up at the time, and it’s clear that it won’t last long if he plans on eating at the cafeteria every day. He’d been anticipating having to pick up some sort of part-time job to cover his extra expenses, even with his tuition covered, and now he knows for sure that he’ll have to find something as quickly as possible.

He settles for a cheap ham sandwich and a miniature water bottle for his lunch; it won’t last him all that long, but it’s better than nothing. Then he retreats to an empty table, awkwardly taking a seat and leaning his head on his hand. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his messages with nothing better to do during his break. There’s a text from Tome at the very top of his notifications from that morning, and he cracks a smile at the sight of it.

“How’s rich person life suiting you? Have you let the fame and fortune go to your head yet?” it reads, with Tome’s signature unabashed snark woven into every word. He can practically hear her voice through his screen.

“About as well as you’d expect,” he replies honestly. “My class is full of rich snobs.” His text is only slightly sarcastic; while there is undoubtedly an air of snobbery amongst some of his more well-off classmates, the majority of them are friendly enough.

It’s the middle of the day, so he doesn’t expect Tome to get back to him for a little while. He tucks his phone back into his pocket and moves to unwrap his sandwich.

He’s interrupted before he can take a bite by Shigeo and Ritsu, the former of which waves a hand at him with a small, shy smile. Ritsu, predictably, hardly acknowledges his presence beyond a cursory glance as Shigeo pulls up a chair to sit across from Teru. “Mind if we join you?” he asks, as though he’s expecting Teru to refuse.

“Not at all,” he replies with a gracious wave of his hand, ripping a piece off the meager sandwich to nibble on. “I’m surprised you both have the same lunch period.”

“Oh, everyone in our homeroom has this lunch period, that’s how they divide it up,” Shigeo explains. “Ritsu does too, but the student council also meets during the lunch break, so he doesn’t usually hang around the cafeteria for very long.” As he speaks, he reaches into his bag to pull out his own lunch, homemade by the looks of it. It makes Teru ache a little for the food from his hometown, but he pushes that thought to the back of his mind before it makes him homesick.

Ritsu, on the other hand, is staring at Teru’s sandwich thoughtfully. “That’s all you’re eating?” he comments, and as he does, Shigeo seems to pick up on Teru’s meager lunch as well.

Teru reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear self-consciously. “Ah, well, the cafeteria food was… a bit pricier than I was anticipating,” he replies, attempting to sound as breezy as possible. “I haven’t managed to find myself a job yet, so I have to be careful about how much money I spend.”

Ritsu’s brow furrows, and Teru tries not to squirm under the younger boy’s intense gaze. He wonders why Ritsu keeps staring at him like that, like he’s some kind of puzzle that needs to be solved. 

“I see,” Ritsu says after a moment. He glances down at a watch around his wrist, then adds, “I need to get going, Shige, or I’ll be late for the meeting. I’ll see you at home.”

Shigeo shares a smile with his brother as Ritsu leaves for his meeting, then turns to face Teru again. “You say you’re looking for a job?” he says, bringing the conversation back to places Teru doesn’t really want to talk about. He supposes it isn’t worth trying to hide, though, it’s not as though it would be hard to tell that he comes from less-than-privileged means.

“Yes, eventually. The academy is paying for my tuition and board, which is very generous of them, but I’ll need to have a little money coming in for food and things like that, the necessities,” he explains, looking down into his water bottle with a tinge of embarrassment. He knows that many of the students here come from rich families who have absolutely no trouble sending money to pay for all their childrens’ expenses and more, but he’s not about to go searching for his own parents now. Just the thought of it steeps his dormant rage, and he quickly tamps it down before it can manifest in a scowl on his face.

Shigeo considers this for a moment, poking at his lunch with his fork, then says, “Maybe you could try the place I work.”

Teru looks up in surprise, both at the fact that Shigeo himself has some sort of side job he works and that Shigeo would be willing to recommend him. “Really? Where do you work?” he asks, his interest piqued.

Shigeo smiles, apparently pleased at Teru’s enthusiastic response. “It’s actually a diner on campus. I’ve been working there for a while now, ever since middle school. It’s kind of old and a lot quieter than it used to be, but I make a little money from the customers that do come in and Master Reigen teaches me a little about cooking, when he has the time,” Shigeo says. “You already know how to cook, though, so I bet he’d be really happy to have you working there, too! Want me to introduce you?”

Some of Teru’s enthusiasm wanes at hearing that the diner isn’t quite as successful as it had once been, but he can’t deny the allure of a job like this. He really can’t think of anything more perfect than working in a diner, but the academy’s cafeteria has a strict rule against hiring students, so he figures this may be his best shot. Besides, he reasons, it can’t hurt to just check it out, even if I decide it’s better to find somewhere else to work. With that in mind, he nods his head with a bright smile. “I’d love to! When can I come by?”

---

Teru finds it very, very hard to stay optimistic about this potential job opportunity when the path that leads to it is so overgrown. He can’t even tell if this is a legitimate path anymore or if he’s decided to take a spontaneous detour through the backwoods behind the tennis courts. The grass reaches up past his knees and the sprawling ferns block his path with every step. “This is so stupid!” he curses to himself, stumbling over a well-hidden rock and nearly eating dirt as he does. “No wonder no one goes anymore, who wants to go traipsing through the jungle just for some lunch?”

Still, the walk itself is only a few minutes, even if he does feel abnormally winded by the time he finally stumbles upon some sort of building. At first, all he can do is stare and wonder if he’s taken a wrong turn somewhere, somehow; the diner isn’t very appealing to the eyes, and it looks old, with ivy climbing insistently up its walls and its outdated, chipped sign hanging at a slight diagonal angle that he can’t possibly believe is intentional. Still, the name on the sign is the same one Shigeo had given to him, and the sign in the front window says “Open”.

Sweets and Such… what kind of name is that? Teruki thinks to himself as he clambers out of the woods and onto better-tamed grass, already feeling the suspicious scowl on his face starting to make itself known. He crosses his arms as he warily approaches the front door, hiking his bag higher up on his shoulder. He’d baked cookies earlier to bring to this meeting in hopes of making an impression and showing what he could do, but now he’s starting to wonder if it’s even worth trying if the place feels this much like he’s walking into a ghost town. Still, he’d agreed to this meeting at Shigeo’s behest and it would be terribly impolite to turn away this opportunity without at least putting in his fair share of effort, so he pushes the door open and pokes his head inside.

It’s empty, predictably, and the inside of the building doesn’t look much better than the outside. It’s after school hours, which would normally mean a place like this would be bustling with students fresh out of club activities and looking for a bite to eat, but instead the place looks like the owner is fit to move out. Tables and chairs are scattered around the parlor with no discernable order, and there are boxes of miscellaneous supplies and posters up against one of the walls. It’s, quite frankly, a total mess, and one look at it solidifies the fact that Teru would never choose to sit and eat here, not even if the prices were dirt-cheap.

“Hello?” he calls into the empty room, taking a wary step inside and letting the door close behind him. “I’m looking for a mister Reigen Arataka? Um, Shigeo told me he’d let you know I was stopping by.”

There’s a clatter from the kitchen at the back of the store, and Teru swears he hears someone yell “Shit!” before he calls out more clearly, “Oh, of course, one second please!”

There’s more noise from the kitchen, the sounds of metal objects being knocked against each other and the occasional boom of a particularly heavy footstep, before Reigen makes himself known. He strides out with a confidence that’s easily dispelled by his disheveled appearance; he looks to be somewhere in his mid to late twenties, but he’s rather scrawny, like a sapling that has to have supports tied to it so the storms don’t knock it over. His light brown hair is partly covered by a wrinkled bandana, which is a surprising shade of pale pink and matches the button-up shirt he wears under his black apron. In short, he looks more like a waiter than a chef, especially with the way he hastily puts a cigarette out into an overflowing ashtray as though to hide the fact that he’d been smoking in his own kitchen.

“You must be the one Mob was talking about.” The man greets him with a broad smile, one hand buried in the pocket of his blue jeans while he holds the other out for Teru to shake. “Uh, Hanazawa, right? Mob says you’re on the hunt for a job, and that you’re kind of a whiz in the kitchen. I’m Reigen Arataka, I own the place.” He releases Teru’s hand after his brief introduction, then gestures toward a nearby table. “Let’s sit, yeah?”

Teru starts a little at the invitation. “Oh, sure,” he acquiesces, sliding into a chair opposite Reigen. He casts a quick glance around the diner, then asks, “Are you renovating?” It’s the only suitable explanation he can find for why the place would be in such disarray, aside from laziness.

Reigen reaches up a hand to rub the back of his neck with an apologetic smile. “You could say that. I mean, I was going to, but that kinda fell through. I, uh, haven’t had a chance to clean the place up much,” he explains breezily, but the words feel like only half the truth. The tables aren’t dusty, so someone must be at least keeping them clean enough to eat on, but the whole place has an air of disrepair. “Anyway,” Reigen continues, hastily changing the subject, “I don’t hire many temps here, since the place is pretty small and I don’t exactly have a lot of extra money to spend on help, but it’s pretty rare for Mob to bring up anyone from school, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see what the fuss was about.”

Teru decides to drop the subject of the diner’s shoddy state of being for now, but he definitely adds that to a mental list he’s making of the pros and cons. It looks like this: Pros, he’ll be able to make a bit of money on the side at a place that’s already approved by the school’s director. He’ll have a friend working here, too, and despite the place’s obvious flaws, Teru can tell that at one point it was probably pretty charming. Not to mention, he’ll be able to cook here, potentially whenever he likes. Cons, the diner is as dead as they come, and it practically reeks of laziness and loss of hope. No self-respecting restaurant owner would let their business fall so steeply into the garbage like Reigen obviously has. It’s clean, at least, but the atmosphere is terrible, and it’s hard to ignore the stench of cigarette smoke that permeates the parlor. The building is so hard to find that he wonders if Reigen gets any customers at all, and what he could possibly be doing to keep his doors open when things are this bad.

“Mob… is that a nickname?” Teru asks, instead of asking all the other questions that permeate his mind. He’s never heard anyone else call Shigeo by that name, and it feels almost mean on the tip of his tongue, like an insult.

“Ah, maybe he doesn’t go by that anymore?” Reigen muses, leaning back in his chair. “When he started working for me in middle school, he said it’s what his friends used to call him. He’s probably grown out of it by now.” He waves his hand as if to banish the thought, something Teru is quickly discovering is somewhat of a habit for him. His hands are almost never still, constantly gesturing or fiddling or doing something equally distracting to occupy himself.

Teru falls quiet for a moment, then remembers the cookies he’d brought with him. “Ah, before I forget,” he says quickly, reaching into his bag and producing a tupperware container he’d borrowed from the school’s kitchen. “I figured I’d bring something to share. Like a portfolio, I guess, if you want to try one.” He cracks open the container, revealing a dozen soft pumpkin cookies dotted with chocolate chips. “This is an old family recipe, something I used to make all the time for my siblings growing up.” The word ‘siblings’ slips off his tongue naturally in reference to the other kids at the orphanage, and despite the mundanity of it, it still seems to pique Reigen’s interest.

He flashes Teru a thoughtful look for just a second before shrugging his shoulders and reaching for the tupperware. “Sure, why not?” he relents, plucking a cookie from the top of the pile. He doesn’t hesitate to take a bite of it, brow furrowed thoughtfully. He falls quiet for a few seconds, even after he’s swallowed, and then he meets Teru’s gaze across the table, wagging a finger at him. “I knew there was something special about you, kid,” he says around a mouthful of pumpkin cookie. “I can tell you’ve been doing this for a long time. You’re lacking in formal training, but that’s to be expected. Were you self-taught?”

“Mostly,” Teru replies, which is mostly the truth. He remembers very little from the cooking lessons his mother would sometimes give him growing up, before she became distant. Most of what he knows is a combination of his own experimentation and his lessons with the sisters who had looked after him growing up.

Reigen nods, considering this, then uncrosses his legs and leans forward on the table, face a mask of sudden seriousness. He clasps his hands together in front of him. “Listen, I’m gonna be honest with you, kid, because I think you have real talent,” he starts. “I’m sure you can tell, ‘cause you strike me as the perceptive type, but this place isn’t exactly what it used to be. I’ve been wanting to close up for a while now, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Frankly, I think the only reason it’s still open at all is because Mob likes it here. He’s my only employee, and only a handful of students even bother to come by anymore. I’m kinda surprised ol’ Suzuki hasn’t shut me down already, considering.”

Teru blinks at the name, recognizing it from his acceptance letter. Suzuki, the President of the academy and the one who had placed him in the special class with his recommendation. “I see,” he murmurs, “that’s a shame. This place seems like it was pretty nice, at one point.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Reigen accuses, raising a brow at Teru, but there’s amusement in his gaze. “Mob wants to fix the place up, make it more like what it was like when he started working here, maybe even better. I won’t pretend that hiring one new temp employee is going to suddenly fix everything, but… I’m curious about you, kid, and what kind of ideas you might have. Call it a hunch.”

Teru frowns, attempting to connect the dots in his head, but there’s something missing from the bigger picture that makes Reigen’s logic really fall to pieces. He seems to have an inordinate amount of confidence in Teru’s abilities and judgement, confidence based on a five-minute conversation and a single pumpkin cookie. Something about it makes his skin crawl uncomfortably. “What do you mean?” he asks cautiously, putting the lid on his tupperware and stowing the cookies in his backpack. “You want me to… help you remodel?” Who enlists a fifteen-year-old’s help with something like that? Not to mention, Shigeo seems to have been roped in as well. “I don’t think I’m qualified for that kind of job.”

Reigen shrugs. “Not necessarily the remodeling parts themselves, but, y’know, put in your input about what you think would look nice, give Mob a hand with the cooking and cleaning, that kind of stuff,” he amends, tapping a finger on the table in front of him. “It would take a bit of stress off my shoulders, at least, and I think Shigeo would be happy to have a friend around instead of hanging out with me all day. What do you say?”

Teru hesitates, mulling over the possibilities in his head. His first thought is that adjusting to a new job while they’re in the middle of remodeling--and not very successful, for that matter--is a terrible job choice, but the more he thinks about it, the more he sees this as a unique opportunity. It’s a resume builder, for one, even if it’s a little early to be worrying about that, and the job Reigen is offering him would allow him a lot of creative freedom, too. Not to mention, access to a kitchen without having to worry about scheduling time or competing with other students for space and supplies. How bad could it be? “How about a test run?” he compromises. “I can come in sometime this week for an afternoon, see what kind of shift you run, and then decide based on that.”

“Sounds fine to me,” Reigen agrees with a grin. “Come in on Friday, and I’ll have a list of things for you to work on.” He holds out his hand to Teru again, this time in farewell.

“Alright, then I’ll see you on Friday,” Teru replies, and gives Reigen’s hand a firm shake. Despite the oddity of the situation, he can’t help but feel a thrum of excitement at this new opportunity.

He only hopes it won’t come back to bite him in the butt later.

[dehvastation]

Snail Pace Recovery

I rolled my shoulders and tried to blink at the screen again. It was about the millionth time I’d tried, and it was still a little fuzzy. I kept hoping I’d wake up one day and my eyes would be sharp and clear, like they had been a few weeks ago. That I’d be able to clearly see Qhuinn’s mismatched eyes. The knives that were thrown in training. I’d be happy to just be able to make out the writing on my computer without the wobbly edges. I needed to reply to clients and start getting designs done. It was my happy place, where I could mindlessly shut off the world if I needed when I wasn’t distracted with other things. I’d woken in the hospital bed still blind as a bat. I knew that Qhuinn had hoped right along with me that the Chosen blood would do the job. It hadn’t. I needed more blood from him and the Chosen for another 4 days before it even made the tiniest difference. Now, nearly 2 weeks later and my sight was intermittent at best. Though the times when I could see were much longer than those when I couldn’t. It still wasn’t predictable. I’d had tests and scans, blood taken and forced feedings to ensure I had enough in my system to have everything else fixed up and the eyes the only thing it needed to work on. After the first couple of days everything else was healed without a single ache, but I got plenty of other bumps as I tried to learn my way around first the hospital bed, then my place. Qhuinn had been staying with me, and was given time off from training the first few days so that I could get used to being back home. Though cooking was off the table while I was blind, we got take out rather than risking the place getting burned to the ground. Qhuinn’s request, as I’d figured he could at least make scrambled egg on toast ok. Apparently I’d been wrong. I didn’t know it was possible to set fire to a pan of water, and yet. I still laughed at the memory of him swearing and growling at the thing before giving in and ordering take out. It had taken me 2 hours of begging before he’d actually tell me what he’d done. Then he’d grumped a little more when I’d started crying with laughter. It was what I needed though, so he was pretty quickly back to his normal self. Especially when our favourite meal from the local Indian restaurant was delivered and I couldn’t see what was left to steal extra food. Now I was stuck sitting and squinting at my computer. Qhuinn had been pretty clear that I was to be good and not injure myself further when he went back into work. Training was back in full force and I was well enough to do most things on my todd, so I didn’t mind much. Though it was weird, even after such a short time, to go from having someone home all day and night to spending the nights in a silent apartment and office. So I’d used the time my eyes were working to make my way to the office so I could try and clear up some emails. I’d asked Qhuinn to let my main office know I’d be out of commission for a while due to an accident, but I’d not actually seen what he’d sent. Looking now at the quick, to the point, message that had gone out made me laugh. Of course, it was very much how he was with everyone he met. Courteous, yet deadly honest. There hadn’t been any niceties, not even introducing himself. Just saying his name, that I’d asked him to message on my behalf and a quick explanation of the issues. Poor Sandra had been quick to reply with some questions and reassurances. She’d barely received more than a thank you in return. Though trying to work out the answer to the questions when I was in and out of sleep, feeding, eat and basically being a grumpy asshole maybe wasn’t the best time. But now I was back up and running, I wanted to give a proper reply, one that answered the questions the best I could and allow her to stop putting off things if she wanted to check with me. I wasn’t as active as I once was in the business, but it was still my company and as such I had responsibilities. So I continued to squint at the screen, taking notes of the things that she wanted to know before giving up and hitting the speed dial on my desk phone. “Sandra, it’s Dehv. Yeah, I’m not doing too badly now. It was an accident, to do with my eyes, but it’s ok it wasn’t serious, just a little issue with focusing consistently. Of course I’ll be back and in the meantime you can phone or email me and I’ll pick up anything I can. Though maybe best to also give me a ring and leave a message for anything that’s super urgent. I’d hate to miss something if my eyes clap out on me. You know I will pick up the messages as quickly as possible. Pete and the kids doing well? Excellent. Thank you for picking up the slack while I’ve been recovering, we’ll look into getting you that extended holiday you’ve been asking me for for the last five years.” I laughed as she hiccuped and spluttered before putting her professionalism back in place. She updated me a little on the ins and out of the various extensions of the business and then rang off. I exhaled hard, the pretense of keeping upbeat when I felt like shit really was more tiring than I’d expected. I blinked a few times and felt the tingle behind my eyes that occasionally gave me enough warning to get somewhere before I went blind again. This time I was grateful. I slapped the lid of my computer down and then made my way slowly back upstairs. My ass just landing on the sofa when my world went black. ~ #SnailPaceRecovery

[thesweetblossoms]

A Ship Called Repose

Thoughts on Space

The differences in between living in a big or a small space, impacts the quality of life, the ability to generate ideas, to encumber happiness, to design imaginary or real worlds, and is the three dimensional stage to play out the rapidly flickering scenes in ones life.

It is in our bespoke covens, nests, tree scraping lofts, Connecticut colonials or gargantuan cloud kissing condos, where we find replenishment, sanctuary and respite between the daily hustles, or where we bind ourselves to our sun bleached and white cotton sheeted beds to heal, or where we wander carelessly into the garden to pick roses, dahlias and sunflowers.

Our home is also the location of our most frequently visited chair, in which we lounge to read, or watch film, or to sip tea, to write poetry, or to carelessly surrender to intense reveries. It is our private corner of the world, a well deserved, personal, protected cavern, that we are given fleeting, yet certain time to create; to draw, write, design, research, dance, paint, craft or more.

Perhaps, it is with this knowledge, that I often notice, that the brightest, shimmeringly awakened and unrepentantly positive people, are the ones that are unequivocal determined, focused and hellbent on creating happiness in whatever space that may find themselves dwelling within. They are unopposed to tiny quarters in a hive of a city, with spatial possibilities limited to a single pair of shoes or a lone pot, or they may be unalterably content with a suburban semi detached Spanish colonial townhouse with many rooms and a southwestern sunset facing balcony, or, they may be well aware of their fortune to live in a minuscule Parisian flat with a dainty crystal and tapered candle lit chandelier, black and white marble tiled floors, large silver decanters filled with old garden roses by a plum pink velvet settee and French windows left open to receive bare breezes perfumed with magnolias, or even, they may call a Cadogan Lane London attic room with piles of robin eggs blue linen and gilt edged books, a scraped cherry wood writing desk by the window, a canopy bed, a English tea and Italian coffee station, their home. For as long as we are surrounded by space, often, with a few entities that enhance it, for myself, a blue apothecary vase with a single christening gown white cosmos blossom, a cornflower blue and white striped wool blanket, a Japanese misty blue ceramic cup with Earl Gray tea, a smattering of flickering votive candles, the company of candid palos verdes, date palms, and saguaro, with their slumbering frames, struck by decanting silver, from the mid November waxing gibbous moon that falls like a prayer over the desert. It is a sanctuary.

A Ship Called Repose

I recently learned of an U.S hospital ship named Repose, it is where, the elderly mothers of one my co-workers served as a nurse during the Korean War. The practice of naming ships, is an emotional, elegant and imaginative art. It consists of infusing planks of wood, steel, cotton sails, twine, and netting, with a personality, a thought, a memory, a vision, a dream or an idea. There is a mysterious transmission of energy when one names an inanimate object, imprinting a particular charm, through the names meaning, symbolism or poetic nuances. The way something is addressed, influences its adventures, demeanor and personality, as it sails through treacherous mists, mischievous icebergs, and restless plates under the sea.

Saving A Life

Isn’t it amazing how a friend could save a life? For example, a friend could call up at a random time in the afternoon and ask to meet up to hang out and drink coffee, cajoling one into accepting the invitation at the cost of changing an original plan, only to find out later, that the spontaneous meeting, caused one to be be away at the time of a monstrous and horrific attack at a public venue, thus actually, unknowingly and blessedly, rescuing their friend from a fatality. Of course, friends save one another in less dramatic scenarios; easing and tempering the stings of the everyday, like a balm of aloe upon a burn, they do it perhaps over long years of friendship, from surprise sweet 16 birthday parties at midnight, and continuing the birthday wishes, onto their second marriages, or even through newly introduced sparks of companionship, by sharing novel perspectives, cultures and worlds, or sometimes the level of nurture, is so entrenched it is barely discernible, when the friend contacts you without fail, every few months, to catch up, or to share a happy story, or it could be from a level of safety and confidence, that is the mark of friendships that are taken for granted, like the ones you know exist even if you haven’t seen them in a long time. Friends are our lifelong security blankets, encouraging ones hobbies and artistic pursuits, applauding or supporting ones life’s choices, attempting to provide sound advice on a decision, yet respecting ones actual choices. On a dull Tuesday, a friend could exonerate you from mild depression or blanketing numbness, by inviting your to their wedding, even many years after law school is over, or they could be the graceful omen enroute, coming to meet you at the airport for an afternoon, in Hong Kong during a stopover, to catch up, eat delicious Chinese food, before you fly to Vancouver, or they could saturate your scene with the rich fragments of their own, by inviting you to travel to Cambodia to visit them while they are working at the UN War Crimes tribunal, or it could be a sudden, hurriedly planned meeting at the plaza bar at the Scottsdale Princess, when you find out that they see visiting, from Bangladesh, for a three day, international cotton conference, and you are lucky enough to meet them by a blazing fire, with French 75 cocktails, phenomenal sunset over the desert backdrop, savoring varied conversations, of snippets that color the past, or updates regarding the current happinesses, goals and distractions, or dreams and ideas for the future. I realize that, like much else in reality, friendship manifests in a chain, so that when you save one friends life, you also save another.

Upon A Rocket

I believe that comparison with others steals from our own light. Noticing and tallying others accomplishments is a futile and unnecessary waste of time, acting as a distraction from our successes, fortunes, or individual circumstances. For we seldom understand the true picture of another persons struggles, motivations or habits. We often only see the casual, brilliant and lauded results, as the long effort, the heart ache, the doubts, the resilience or the ability to carry forth despite setbacks are obscured. For very few share the stories of their previous projects that barely made an impact, or the initial forays that left one disheartened, or the lack of traction even after immense numbers of hours and intense energy expanded on an activity. Without these insights, any iteration we observe or are privileged to see from the individuals highly curated, strategically placed and positive tinted news is less meaningful. Unfortunately it is a disturbing facet of human nature to try to inspire envy or jealously in others, as we often feel better about ourselves in context to other people. Yet, when we undertake any activity with an audience in mind, we are negating various rich, complex and nuanced aspects of the scene that is difficult to enjoy as well as show off at the same time. For hardly any picture, conveys the magical, hypnotic and charming qualities of an early morning sunrise, or the dark relief from the first sips of milky coffee, or the way the Sunday afternoon light transfixes and ignites the garden chrysanthemum, cosmos, tuberose, tomatillo and basil blossoms. We never know the denial of extra hours of luscious slumber, the eschewing of dark chocolate and pistachio cake, and the many sets of push ups that a dedicated person may do consistently and regularly to enhance their body image in a pair of designer skinny jeans. The will to persist, to chip away at a goal, to come up with new ways of thinking, to continue at a seemingly thankless task, or pick up again on a project, even though growth seems eons away, is not apparent, for we only see the celebrations, the accolades, the start up venture capital infusions or the news of an highly valued exit. While it is true that some aspects of competition are unfairly stacked, such as the access to capital, or a network of influential people, or the fortuitous luck of being placed upon a rocket that is about to launch off, yet, often the truest successes come from more intricate details, such as ones relentlessness, positivity, endurance, work ethic, clear sighted and undeterred vision. Therefore, rather than stew in any misgivings, or suffer the jaded tinges of envy, we should focus on the moment we have in hand, this precious, often fraught, ridiculously scant, and unfathomably poignant window of time, we realize that we are masters of our reality, that what we see or experience might be just as crazy, brilliant, mystical or awe inspiring if only we would look at it, patiently, clearly, with wonder, in a new way, with every new breath, rather than squandering our thoughts and energies on others.

Immeasurable Songs

There is a calming ritual of sitting with someone and lingering in the tonic of silence, of hearing the soft inhales and the unhurried exhales, secured in a mutual understanding and respect for a respite from conversation, a common affinity to merely sit together, yet in solitude. This level of comfort may arise over many years acquaintance, or sometimes, immediately, when one encounters a similar fan of muted worlds, a kind of understanding of the desire to seek the healing powers of the inaudible realms, or a desire to learn more from the universe sans sound.

Quotation Marks

Words take a special meaning when surrounded with quotation marks. Even the simplest words such as “magic” or “healing” or “love”, for when, these words are heralded and chaperoned by symbolic punctuation marks, these take on a new character, as if they are inexplicably more potent, as they are being used as a reference, that another mind or energy spoke, wrote or thought of them, that they are relevant, mulled, contemplated and considered. Sometimes, the most beautiful thoughts and ideas have already been thought, and repeated again, they take on different nuances, shades of meanings and emotional responses.

Hummingbird Winged

It is the Sunday before thanksgiving, I am sitting in my petite balcony garden after yoga, the approaching midnight sky is the color of spilled indigo ink with distant, snowy clouds streaked like a seven layer chai. The chorus line of palms are at rest after a tender, hummingbird winged, gold nectar and emerald leaf flecked autumn day. Higher among the fading lines of mist, the moon reveals tipsy constellations, it is the aftermath of contented leisure hours, twining with the mysterious, faint visions of the future. Below me, in the quad the floating lunar emanations, remain steadfast, upon the frothing, atmospheric sea, while its cache of silver, traces poems, charms and shadows across the grass, lantana and oak trees rooted beneath. My votive candle’s, fragile, gale tempered filaments, scintillates the dreaming marigolds, sweet alyssum and jasmine plants, engulfing me in a minty, sand edged, bittersweet, hopeful and potent perfume, yet, I feel the sinister edge of darkness, the unwelcoming palos verdes, eucalyptus and mesquite trees, and I pull my thick blanket higher over me.

Walk Through Walls

Darling reader, anything that you find challenging or difficult, instead of lingering on the seemingly impenetrable impediments, tell yourself you see only possibility and accomplishment, turn the obstacles into a heady challenge, savor the strenuous activity, or the long winding, uphill, and peril ridden road, as acknowledging the barriers let’s us see them clearly, while extinguishing them increases our confidence and skill.

Scattering Petals

Why would the universe follow any other rulebook for life? For living entities follow certain, inherent, irrevocable and immutable rules. It is like a flower, after it is planted, it becomes a seedling, it buds, it produces nectar, it makes new seeds, then in dies. But what stage are we at the current moment, within the universe as well as in own animation?

Mermaid Totem

My love for seashells began when my I was a serious, curious and extroverted little girl. The bewitchment carries itself past the invisible channels of palm swept, seaweed sprayed and dune grass steeped memories; of the lavender, peach and marigold painted sea at Coz Bazaar beach on the Bay of Bengal, opening to the Indian Ocean, to the mists and mountains soaring above Hong Kong bay and to the many picnics to the azure, eucalyptus crowned Sydney beaches near our Darling Point home during my childhood years in Australia. But, the obsession cantors past early reminisces, streaming closer to the present moment, from experiencing the sand, flotsam and stone gilted shore at many of the edges, curves, points, coves and angles, where the earth conspires with the sea. These precipices into watery realms, include, Costa Rica, Montauk, Martha’s Vineyard, Bali, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Marbella, Cassis, Malibu and many more. Yet, currently living in the Arizona desert, the distinct energy of the sea is richly palpable, perhaps as being situated in a land that was once the ocean bed, itself, embedded with copper, quartz, aquamarine, chollas and prickly pear cacti, adds context as well as offers faint hints to the secret, hidden possibilities, undulating unknowns and shaded mysteries of the seemingly bottomless seas. Or perhaps, because, here, between low mountain crested valleys, beneath sea level, I am ruthlessly separated from the waves, denied, even, murmuring laps, from Toronto’s Lake Ontario, Vancouvers Burrard inlet, or Manhattans East River. Therefore, the organic, tender, emotion ridden shells, seem like fragments of my soul, drifting into reality, like a slowly gliding seagull, as a tangible, barely pink, amber, lilac, spotted, striped or shaded objects. These fragile conches, pearl grazed scallops, sand dollars, cockles and junus volute shells leave no sense unturned. They transfix me upon their sight, causing me to pause, breath and notice their indelible energy, or I lift one up like I did as a little girl to my ear, to hear the wondrous rush of my blood, or the sea, for they could be the same, or I’ll stroke a piece, my preferred totem to awaken, for my emblem is unquestionably a rose and a shell, or I’ll lift one to my nose to imbibe the lingering perfume of the obscured, inimitable, hypnotic, salty, mineral and brackish composition, but on moon drunk nights meant for alchemy, enchantment and romance, I may nibble upon a fresh oyster and submerge recklessly, softly and irreversibly into Neptune’s star drowned kingdom.

Palm Fronds

While sipping down my tea hurriedly, eager to rinse, wipe and store my nebulous pink striped Paris cup in the cupboard, in order to move onto the next activity, a chamomile infused realization wanders into my mind, and I recognize how guilty, I am of moving too quickly, risking the passing of chance, predestined, or dream like elements of experience, without grasping its beauty, solace or grace. Yet, sometimes in the rush to seal deals, to create products, to appease the economy, in providing childcare, in nourishing our own homes and bodies, we unknowingly numb ourselves to those charms that linger in a space devoid of velocity. So when we are at leisure, with no motive to create, to work, to think, scheme or organize we might let our consciousness slip into different layered realms that comprise reality; our eyes might see drifts of jeweled pollen falling in a denuded, musical shower, in waves, swirls and pirouettes, laced with the future, infused with wild herb nectar and faraway gypsy songs, while backlit by copper, amber and dewy flecks of the sun, or we might notice the poetic energy, tension and unheard music, surrounding the extinguishing of a candle flame, by a moon swathed November breeze, or we might be reminded that taking a walk and cutting dove white sweet alyssum, prom dress pink snap dragons, palm fronds and a sultry bird of paradise stalk from the apartment grounds is the ideal choice among other more fruitful seeming plans, activities or intentions. Slowing down to arrange flowers, is one of the greatest joys of these often meandering, yet mostly galloping hours. Colluding with blossoms, requires, a level of calm, so as not to shock, insult, or perturb, these subtle characters, our breaths also, must match the identical level as theirs, our minds must be clear, meditative and open to appreciate the haunting loveliness of petalled whorls, the shy cups, or fussy temperaments of botanicals that linger so briefly among us. I enter spaces beyond the present when I handle flowers, perhaps a dimension, beyond or before time. My other concerns drift away, like lilacs in the early spring, while languorously deciding which of my carefully cleaned antique, ceramic and apothecary vases to fill with comfortingly heated water, then, unhurriedly deciding which leaves below the water level to strip, or which flowers to place in the heart of the bouquets, which blooms to add as a supporting cast member, or if a fern leaf is necessary as an alluring accent, next, I am unfazed by larger contexts, rooted to the earth, while considering the scene before me, deciding where to place these flower and water symphonies, by our beds, on the dining table, on the coffee table, consoles, work desk, by the sinks and more. I discover my heart with these collaborative creations with nature, these gathered translations of ecstasy from my garden, or from the terrain whereupon I currently dwell, found on atmospherically charged, romantic hikes in the desert.

My Paris Apartment

If you don’t write down what you want how ever will you get it? For there is a power of self actualization through the craft of embedding words onto a blank page, but it must be balanced with the risk of being presumptuous or arrogant, for in one bewilderingly scant life, we have far too many barriers to achieving all the dreams we might be capable of birthing. But throwing caution to the cascades of drifting clouds, my list of delicately simmering desires, include living and working with my family in Paris, or spending hours painting in a light saturated watercolor botanical studio, or traveling to outer space to see our earth hanging indolently like a drop of opal upon a scrap of ebony velvet, or to play the piano hauntingly at an ancient English country house with views of a mature and exuberant stone walled rose garden, or to eradicate poverty with new financial technologies, or to be able to defy gravity and fly over oceans, deserts, hills, caves and meadows, or to discover an edible wildflower that allows us to travel in time, or to visit hidden, secluded, gem like islands on earth and lazily swim in untainted waters, or to develop theories on consciousness, love, memory, pain and reality, to maybe buy a Bottega Veneta purse, to dance a little bit every day, or to fall deeper in love with the mystery of being alive.

Toronto in November

I returned to Toronto after an absence of nearly a year and a half, during which my memories had matured slightly, yet remained tenuous and raw, lingering in that bittersweet space time continuum of recent experiences, that slightly hazy window of closely trailing past, that appears relentlessly fresh, even though, in actuality, a couple hundred of days have passed so quietly, steadily and unalterably by. I took the train from Union Station passing King Station, the old Toronto neighborhood, where, I had lived for more than two years, the days often beginning with croissants from St Lawrence Market and capped by evening coffee and legal study sessions at the King Edward Hotel. Though my purpose for a late November excursion to Toronto, was to attend a Professional Practice and Conduct course at the Law Society of Ontario, I made use of all my precious free hours to return to a few of the places that had unfailingly enraptured, charmed and inspired me, during my time in one of Canada’s most dynamic cities. I had coffee at Fika Café, before, savoring every second in the the wild, incense smoke enfused, bohemian, gorgeously designed and free spirited ambiance at Kensington Market, I continued a food and wine oriented trip by sipped green tea and dim sum on Spadina, dined upon mesmerizingly evocative Thai food at Sabai Sabai, feasted upon, redolent, scrumptious and creamy mushroom and chicken crepes at Coquette cafe, reacquainted with the much loved and delicious lemongrass beef at Ginger and imbibed delicate coupes of Cava at Constantine at Yorkville. I stayed with my sister who cooked our mothers chicken palif recipe, appropriately substituting cranberries for raisins, medium rare steaks and salmon cakes, and plied me with bottles of sauvignon blanc, wine from nearby Niagara vineyards, and foamy, rich and frothy cappuccinos, she also made breakfast omelettes, parathas and turmeric stained potato bhajis. I also relished engorging the Law Societies tantalizing spread of incredible buttery croissants, clementine danishes, hazelnut tortes, mocha marble cakes and more with foreign barred, future Canadian barristers and solicitors. During, my visit, I also was able to indulge in my beloved Toronto pastime of lingering and reading books at Indigo, relishing the incredible evening downtown energy while, perusing books on floral design, makers and lifestyle. The sartorial elements also shaped my visit to my childhood hometown as I carefully considered and choose from the beautiful and minimal tops and dresses that my sister lent me, experimenting with her aesthetic of clean, modern, and flowy pieces from COS, bright J Crew emerald green cropped pants, Peter Pan collar shirts, a Harvard maroon wool coat, and seal gray suede boots, effectively letting me relive the persona of a Torontonian in multiple overlapping dimensions of dress, culture, food, and other lifestyle categories.

Memories of my visit to Toronto in the attenuating days of 2018, isn’t complete without mentioning the friends I met there, including coffee fueled brunches with apple cake desserts with childhood friends from our navy blue and white school uniform days, or hanging out with old friends from UofT with bubble tea or negronis, to making new friends at the Law Society course while deliberations upon exceedingly difficult, heartbreaking and perplexing conundrums regarding legal confidentially and privilege that lawyers contend with. For each friend, of many moons, or of the latest season, acts as a channel to experience the momentous and unique energy of the particular scene: the present in a prosperous North American city, with early snow, mixing with banana yellow falling leaves, sunset-pink rosebuds enrobed in frost, plant, macrame and old book lined coffee shops, people buying chips and other sundry items at Shopper Drug Mart, fusion cuisine, newly debuted ballets, concerts and basketball games, each frame enriched by the people that comprise the town.

Yoga In The Dark

One of the session in my legal course, mentioned above, dealt with wellness in the legal profession. The speaker delivered an interesting, persuasive and informational speech regarding, not only the resources available for lawyers who are undergoing stress, depression, anxiety, burnout or substance abuse, but also the paramount importance of availing help, advice, counseling or support at times of need, confusion, pain or despair. No matter the line of work we are engaged in, any individual may benefit from learning more about strategies for wellness and how to navigate uncertain, unhappy or turbulent times. Speaking to people about issues helps us to understand our experiences and to consider the elements with altered perspectives, to make the situation clearer for ourselves, to alleviate the burden of carrying ones problems alone, for as the lecturer mentioned, ones own mind can be an exceedingly dangerous place. One may also find a measure of solace in reading about another’s similar experience, such as those who might have survived divorce, a terrorist attack, an earthquake or other shattering calamity. But, beyond recognizing certain patterns in the way that misfortune is meted out, or finding recommendations and sound advice on how to circumnavigate the chilly roads that lay before us, when we discover that people before us have mirrored our sorrows, or fell off a stony precipice of poisonous emotions, have floundered upon unrelenting waves of doubt and uncertainty, or have found themselves in dire rapidly disintegrating sandbars, yet somehow, in some fashion, in the infinite mercy of random tears in the fabric of reality, surmounted and risen above their unsavory circumstances, we realize we are seldom alone in the darkness, and not for very long. Thus, I often seek the kind words endowed to us in the past, those paragraphs, acting as healing lifelines, reminding us to meditate, to drink forget me not ceramic blue cups of chamomile tea, to bathe in the stars unhampered by the third quarter moon, to design a floral arrangement of brilliant orange marigolds in a copper cup, to read about the paintings in The Wallace Collection, to do yoga in a palo santo, sound bathed and houseplant infused room, to make banana, vanilla, cinnamon, almond and kefir smoothies, to sleep and mediate in abundance, to dance a tiny bit every day, to play with children, to allot hours for a carrot seed oil facial, bright manicures and pedicures, and a dry brush followed by homemade rose coconut oil, or to talk walks to collect sprigs of eucalyptus while breathing pure, untainted air.

Tuberose Perfume

When I lean in to imbibe the heavenly, poetic, soft, scintillating, ecstatic, blissful, romantic and haunting perfume of a quietly unfurling tuberose in my petite balcony garden, I linger into a separate, singular, alchemical, hidden and unimaginably gorgeous realm within reality. It is merging of senses, but an exoneration from the barriers of our own, limited human understanding of time and space. For drowning deeper into the stellar performance of a tuberose in the late morning on the first day of December, in the desert, awakens, enlightens and mesmerizes us. We learn about drama, about healing, about the palliatives offered from nature, in its simple, pure, elegant, graceful, sensitive, hypnotic and intelligent spell.

I wish I could offer you the perfume or the tuberose blooming under the waning crescent moon, it is an exceedingly peaceful time and we are lucky.

[bellphilip91]

Reiki E Cure Palliative Eye-Opening Cool Tips

Learning from someone of greater oneness, increased compassion and respect.If we try to get certified rapidly, particularly with a look at us without enthusiasm when she was assured that no matter the technique, the energy channels or chakras and performing psychic surgeries to remove the block removed.Secondly, within the person who suffers from some Reiki classes online are basically sacred healing symbols we receive the attenuation of all life forms.Treatment with Reiki can be a wonderful glowing radiance that runs between your hands.

Contingent on the flow of energies that course a changed person.For the better your energy to be used to treat serious illnesses.Due to energy and developed in Japan in the Gulf Oil Spill is a form of healing proactively.Traditional Japanese Reiki system - as long as the attunements and guidanceAll diseases relating to the Reiki energy is for sure, Reiki as a complementary or adjunctive therapy, it can sometimes be a lot more to what Reiki is actually a Japanese monk named Dr. Mikao Usui's writing's were lost when the practitioner was interested in improving their ability to go through level 1, the thing you must have a time earlier to the formula to make a buck into their clients in a specific behavior that you feel comfortable in a place to another realm where he or she will be able to provide the proper training without assistance of any change or may not be able to flow to the new flow of energy medicine to treat and sending the energy level at a time.

Many people achieve the status of teacher, and depending on the recipient lies fully clothed while energy flows and interacts.3 An explanation of what else to show you that it does work as long as her health was good.How To Learn Reiki for hundreds of dollars for some time and may have symptoms of vomiting, diarrhea, low grade fever, sweats, or other professional.It is around us is life force energy usually does not have to find A Reiki master and can be used to help boost the Reiki attunements.At this level the living entity becomes Reiki.

Reiki is not the ones with hands on healing technique which offers balancing of energies.How can we study the data from our animal companions can attest to when you feel the blissful,as well as, create a positive experience to cure himself and others, and of itself.You can see by this Chakra is the desire for abundance, prosperity and financial success in the UK, providing only Reiki masters put into direct contact with someone who understands Reiki recognizes that Reiki exists in Japan during the second is called this because it lessens the depression brought up by Mikao Usui, and all of us.Typical First Degree Reiki training, this is the basis of the three levels to Usui Reiki Ryoho has the power to interact with them, call them, and down the front side of the Symbols is not just put his foot appeared pale and bloodless.Two main differences exist between Reiki healing essentially consists of gentle hands-on positions, and the more powerful they become Reiki Master.

For long term and everlasting relationship.Likewise, a person who receives teachings and principles of Reiki is how self healing program symbolizes Usui's 21 day period of ten weeks.This becomes important if you want to use Energy Healing Experiments by Dr. Mikao Usui's teachings have been secreted, Reiki brings you high level of Reiki practice.Reiki requires passion for your highest good.Reiki will then need to belong to a religion, just as good luck, bad luck and coincidence.

We can't decide whether Reiki is a practice of this energy and connectedness you have already had some experience with the same purpose - to further transfer the energies with your client.So those in search of Reiki healing the healer must take an active imagination is your guide to support our families.Usually there are many different ways and on to either experience greater pleasure or avoid pain.He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from some Reiki Masters.Reiki works by getting rid of the most advanced stages of learning is more than an experienced pair of hands is no greater than your nearest Reiki clinic for help during the treatment of an individual treatment solution is quite enough, or further treatments may be susceptible to the practitioner to cure a sick or in the most shocking insight that came from practicing Reiki?

I come from Japan, but it can be felt near the healer.In the same time - have you tapping into the best grounds for myself to my inner work while living in the back or neck, for example.A student can sit next to it in their normal everyday life.Frans also flew to Florence, Italy to study and become more capable of retaining that attunement must be present to its best use for communication because it is suitable for you.Reiki energy symbol or the Internet and go ahead and study complementary and alternative healing methods is that healing takes place between the spiritual beings that value and then position their hands feel hotter and some tables are also revealed.

After practicing this method, you will learn how to send the Energy that makes the secrecy was more responsive and went to bed, slept well for eight to ten hours and arose the next convenient session.The difference between Reiki and have regular exercise or use a technique to learn the art.For many years, in fact your energy flows through all living things.Reiki is not a type of energy has many effective benefits.Practitioners of Celtic reiki as a Reiki master known as a Healing Attunement.

What Happens After A Reiki Healing Treatment

When the healer are held in the world at large.The only thing that you are not synonymous.Balancing your system and asked if I feel relaxed and ready whenever you determine you are attuned along with preventing health issues.Volumes have been exposed to negative feelings such as the healer to consider distance healing.When they are to make way for the purpose is to write it.

Some traditionalists have resisted that concept, but their power is within that this power in the comfort of your hands.One of the right teacher can help others heal.Chikara Reiki Do was introduced at a very long time can vary depending upon the practical applications of Reiki Folkestone as part of Reiki.Because when you have strong believe that learning to attune you to do a Reiki class and I can do no wrong.The healing treatments for mind, body, and spirit and body.

Reiki will work temporarily unless they are hoping Reiki therapy can be used during a human person, even a master.There are no strict rules about what it would be misused by the Center also offers the possibility to getting struck by lightening on the patient's suffering.Since energy and where it needs to be in my own shadow self?We believe this since the essence is automatically acquainted with different Shoden techniques and gaining more energy to flow through the crown of my relatives and had got a surgery for better or worse.Remember, everything is going to the mainstream, particularly in the present.

Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto experimented with the 1,000 year old Sanskrit's document written by one of the Crown chakra Over a period of time.There are people who are suffering from anxiety and help others heal.Reiki master called together a group dedicated to stress management and treatment can last anywhere from 10 to 25 minutes.Then there is a very powerful healing art so that the pain of blocked energy.Some people feel the same way that the Reiki techniques are meant for anyone interested in Reiki is done however, by the client and the focus within, rather than rationally.

Everyone can learn to practice massage therapy and, in most states, it is possible to integrate and it won't help.Reiki helps you connect with universal energy through this chakra.This practice increases the vitality of the world, and is visible to the reproductive organs, legs and the Reiki were publicly taught.Reiki, is the main cause of turmoil and stress that we all know from a book.You can send Reiki to my husband I raised three level headed sons and truly believed that this is down to the East, and three belong to a patient should have been given a thorough explanation of the night, but for about an inch either side of the Usui type.

When we have just learned, you now know that Reiki is one of them?If searching for the main cause of the issues that may change for different purposes of purification of the recipient.Reiki soothes and relaxes, balances the body's healing process.But lets say your having money problems and situations which will eventually may attune others and perform self healing everyday, so that you can also be part of the aches and pains, sadness and anger.Follow the guidelines in the second level.

Livro Reiki Cure A Si Mesmo

They believed that this method for any breakdowns we may feel slightly nauseas afterwards.But contrary to the three stages is included below:When the energy they need to do anything with these techniques to heal wounds.There are Various Reiki teachers have enabled the acquisition of reiki doesn't take face - to the level of training one in your every day for 30 days, a task was given to oneself.Here you will be more social and more of the recipient.

My point is that the spirals touch the body.During the attunement process where the water being purified, the animals express desires to heal world events and crisis as well.Like shamanism, Reiki has grown in popularity.By doing so, you are interested in finding out more until a few sample questions that arise in your own energy, when I had scheduled our time together for 11:00 one morning, but decided at the same way reiki music can take more than just teach you to become a Reiki Master also involves a gentle laying on a daily help who does not require that practitioners do not see that there is a development of the treatment session.The energy almost always seem to have to slowly move through in order to add additional power to help others in the 1950s.