#give that man his SOFT BELLY or I s2g

[theeminentlyimpractical]

kitten I’ll be honest if I see one more thin Aziraphale fanart I am going to kill everyone in this fandom and then myself

[yappacadaver]

Pls more Raymond headcanons I’m starving 😵

Hooh me too bbg im hungryyy

I'm gonna compile a couple of old hcs in this one, and add some new ones too. a misc hc drop for u ♥♥♥

tysm for sending a request!

Sex/Attraction

sorry this gif is the first thing i think abt when i consider his sexuality lmao 😂😂

some kinks he has AND IS AWARE OF:

hair pulling (receiving) scratching (receiving) biting (giving and receiving) hickies (giving and receiving)

these kinks are UNLOCKABLE and currently REPRESSED:

edging (giving and receiving) overstimulation (giving and receiving) praise (receiving) body worship (giving) pred/prey dynamics (pred) rope (receiving) toys (giving and receiving) olfactophilia (uhh not sure how to describe this in terms or giving/receiving, he likes to snoff lol) voyeurism (voyeur)

He's most attracted to curvy/hourglass body types, especially soft thighs

Prefers a bare face (but can be easily fooled with natural makeup)

Prefers full bush

Lost his virginity the summer before college to a girl he wasn't that into

Best sex he ever had was at a college party sneaking off with a stranger drunk off his ass

If you asked his face what the hottest thing is, he'd say something about soft curves and an eager personality

if you asked his dick, it'd be something closer to consumption. An attraction that could peel him open from the inside and wrest from him his rotten core-- for the purpose of ingesting it ofc-- leaving him purer for having been picked through and so thoroughly enjoyed

Physicality

This one is semi-canon but his thighs are covered in moles/freckles

capable of a nice tan, if his schedule would ever allow it

teeth are crooked from decades of jaw clenching

the body hair situation is kinda silly... he's got tons of hair in some places and looks so naked in others... im talking like bushy pits and balls but like a tiny sprinkle of sad little hairs on his chest and belly lol

His elbows and knees click when fully extended

Love/Friendship

Friendship never came extremely naturally to him but as a young man in the 50's/60's it's not like the expectations were extremely high

In grade school he mostly had friendships of convenience-- boys from his neighborhood/class

College was where he began to really relate to others, connecting with people who had similar experiences with death and grief

David Whitlow was a friend and not just an employee to Raymond (he was killed with a scalpel to the face)

Other friends from his 20's and 30's eventually fell off as he became more withdrawn and involved with "work"

Raymond never had an affair, but his eye did wander especially as his marriage began to fall apart in the early 80's

Despite this, he would absolutely consider Maria to be the person he loved most

Habits/Preferences

Black coffee, Marlboro reds

Has decided to give up drinking

Meditates daily

Tries to eat out once a week, as a treat

HOT hot showers

chronically dehydrated, i s2g getting this man his 8 glasses wouldn't cure him but it would blow his goddamn mind

Terrible sleeper, snores like a chainsaw, nightmares, talks in his sleep, walks in his sleep, has false awakenings, sleep paralysis, insomnia, the works