#give me back my SNOW
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happy 'eat shit and die on the ice' weather!
#𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐇 ‒ ooc ║#the irony of icing my ass right now#give me back my SNOW#and stop MELTING IT#i'm home to lick my wounds and then i'll be on to make myself feel better#but fuck this whole 'cold weather without snow' business#it's some criminal shit istg
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me: stays up until 3 am just to watch the snow falling, knowing damn well it might be the last time I see snow in my hometown (it hasn't snowed like this since February 2019)
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#i miss playing in the snow#i haven't built a snowman since 2019#neither have i gone 🛷 since#climate change#fuck climate change#give me back my snow
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everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.
how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.
how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.
how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.
how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.
and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.
#yes bringing this back bc at the time i didn't tag it properly#okay im gonna complain in here now.#need... to... draw... something... but i dont... have the strength..#drawing on my phone is so exhausting but i have no other option#bc i think my traditional art is not very polishedddd and i dont want to answer asks with ittttt#but maybe i will#bc i think i'm really getting to that burnout#and giving how my bday is getting closer and closer....#i dread it. but hey. cake. money. i'll get a new piercing#i WILL cry ofc but hey. maybe someone will buy me tea as a gift. who knows.#i just want to spend some time with someone yknow:(#just... talk. about anything. sit beside eachother and stare off into the waters#i hope the snow will melt soon because i want to go out more even if by myself#gonna find a job when summer comes... maybe talking to colleagues and all that will help... everythings gonna be fine.. i hope#i just need friends. god.#microtya's kids#microtya: gavriil#monsterfucker#monster fucker#monster x human#monster boyfriend#monster lover#teratophillia#god x human#monster smut
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My top post pics used to be all Sejanus … and now they’re all Coriolanus ☹️
Terrible terrible day 😩
#GIVE ME BACK MY BOY SEJ#FORCING ME TO LOOK AT A BLOND MAN ??? FORCING ?????#the hunger games#Coriolanus snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#thg#hunger games#president snow#bosas#sejanus plinth
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GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD, IT WAS MINE FIRST!!!
cough pls follow me on tiktok i swear im cool ! i make amazzzing edits ong (@folklor13an, as seen in the edit :3)
#wouldve couldve shouldve#wouldve couldve shouldve taylor swift#the hunger games edit#the hunger games#GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD IT WAS MINE FIRST#this song is so thg coded.#katniss everdeen#lucy gray baird#coriolanus snow#the 10th annual Hunger Games#the 64th annual Hunger Games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the mockingjay pt 1 & 2#fire is catching#and if we burn#you burn with us!
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i politely demand you talk about your nge/pacrim au!
thank you for enabling my behavior and for all your art omg <33333 i will attempt to coherently and briefly outline my thoughts
the short version is: yuuta/rika saves you post-battle and both are irrationally upset when it turns out that you already have a boyfriend.
yuuta would like to take some of the credit for digging you out the rubble, but the truth is, it was like his mech was on auto-pilot, overriding all of his controls to dig you out of a lifeless environment and stash your cold, limp body in the center chamber until yuuta and rika were transported back to the base.
yuuta doesn’t understand why he lost control of rika like that, nor does he understand why he feels so upset when he goes to visit you in the infirmary and there’s already some other man by your bedside holding your hand. he vaguely recognizes kokichi as a junior engineer who’s done a few surface level repairs on rika, and he’s surprised and green with envy to find out that kokichi is also your boyfriend.
yuuta doesn’t understand the anger he feels, or the headache he gets, or the panic attack that’s threatening to rise in him, or why his feet automatically drag him back to his mech, or why he feels like he could hear rika’s faint sobs and screams in his head and he lay in his pilot chamber. none of it makes sense and he can barely sleep because of it, but it happens every time he thinks about you and kokichi for too long; and strangely enough, if the thinks about how rika seemed to come to life to save you for too long. there’s some kind of missing link he can’t piece together.
when you’re conscious, you can’t seem to recall any part your childhood, and only have your memories from college onwards, save for bits and pieces of the attack you were a victim of. yuuta learns that you were studying to be an engineer, that you were moving to work at the hangar and be closer to your boyfriend, that kokichi was slated to pick you up from the airport that ended up being the site of attack. a small part of yuuta wishes kokichi had been there, thinks that rika wouldn’t have found him in the rubble.
you’re the miracle save, and somewhat become the baby of the hangar. world-renowned pilots you’d only ever studied in class stopped by to give you their condolences, offer their help. you try to remain calm when satoru gojo and kento nanami make an appearance as a duo in your tiny recovery room, calling you brave and bowing to you with a home cooked meal in hand. senior engineers do their best to recover your work from college, assuring you that your injuries and recovery period would be a non-factor in the hiring process—that you were free to start as soon as you felt comfortable. you get the most attention from yuuta, who makes himself a friend, and a critical part of your recovery, essentially firing your physical therapist in favor of fixing you himself.
everyone makes you feel welcome, but yuuta makes you feel safe. he holds your waist while you re-learn to walk, he sneaks you into the pilot’s lounge while the jaegers have their repairs done—and nods in faux-sympathy as you mourn the presence of your boyfriend, who seems busier than ever these days with nuisance repairs, jokes about how yuuji and megumi seem to be particularly reckless with their jaeger lately—he squeezes your hand when you have headaches and fractured flashbacks of your past that you can’t piece together, he holds you when you cry out of pure frustration of not being able to remember who you are
yuuta’s a real smooth talker, too. always knows exactly how to comfort you while your boyfriend is busy, always talks to the press about you so preciously, always makes you feel like you have a purpose even if you can’t remember your past self—maybe you weren’t meant to remember anything before him and rika, maybe it was meant to be this way. it’s a twisted comfort, but it’s something to cling to, it’s better than crying over memories you no longer have.
everyone notices yuuta’s weird reverse stockholm syndrome lol… the way he hovers over you like he’s your sole protector and savior, the way he demands to be privy to all decisions about your health care, the way he remains close to you with no fear of your boyfriend. nobody says anything, though—yuuta’s a pilot, a good one, and one the few solo pilots in the entire world. he’s precious and vital to humanity, worth a thousand men, worth ten thousand engineers. besides, his friends see something special between you two, especially the co-pilot pairs; satoru and kento, megumi and yuuji, choso and yuki—they know compatibility when they see it, and boyfriend or not, you have something special with yuuta. they all share a common thought: kokichi is fighting a losing battle. and even if he could beat yuuta, he’d never win against rika.
#answered#teehee there's So Much Lore that i could talk about but i tried to keep this a reasonable length#and i hope it feels slightly ominious teehee <333#this is really just me bringing back my favorite point to light again: none of the jjk boys are SHIT!#boyfriend>? never heard of him! to yuuta he's YOUR save#he and rika pulled you out of the dirt and snow and brought you back to life... hows ur boyfriend gonna compete with that? he shouldnt ://#he should give up :// it sure would make yuuta's life easier... sigh#also note! the rest of them aint shit either! bc WHY are they rooting for him 😭 terrible#there's so many versions of the au the temptation to truman show it is also there but i think i want that for something different#teehee <333 anyway thank u for ur art my dear !!!!!!!!!!#there's also another version which is simply youre a co-pilot with someone else#and the yuuta comes along looking like a kicked wet puppy and somehow he's like 98% compatible with you#and everyones like whoah what the fuck... which makes u angry bc u were perfectly happy being previously more compatible with ur boyfriend!#and here comes along this LOSER to ruin everything....... love of ur life but a LOSER#yuuta x reader#pacrim au
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black eyes
#my stuff#my writing#mein fucking goat i cannot keep having dreams about my ex and yet it is happening still#this is one of the less remarkable ones even. i’ve had two in the past month where i try desperately to give them a flatscreen tv#and one of those big ones too. like 40 inches across. i don’t own a flatscreen tv#i’ll admit it being in singapore is hitting me like a brick to the balls and i am grievously unwell#it’s like i come back and all the work i put in to deal with my anxiety and depression gets high in the woods and dies#but that’s not the point. the point is devoid of friends (in fucking america) and a hyperfixation (haven’t found anything that’s stuck)#i am full of nothing but yearning. good ol classic yearning. and i am so moved on from my ex but i keep trying to give them this fucking tv#!!!! ?????? huh????????????? mayne got………#a girlfriend or a cat would fix me. or leaving this country take your pick#working on it#i’ve made a to do list to combat my i have lost the will to do things problem#and on it is APPLY TO JOBS (note; outside singapore (note: outside america too))#i have a plan and it’s to get as far away as possible and live#we’re getting there#in the meantime here’s a funny poem#i was so. in the dream i actually wanted to see them which is crazy. top 10 bad fan characterizations#but it was a dream with a good color palette. all cool whites and grays and a deep deep blue for the night#cold cold white snow. etc. so of course i had to write about it#which i have done. and now i am going to sleep#good bye
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i was thinking about that post a little more re: sampo being a part of the masked fools or even the stellaron hunters so i'm trying to keep my eyes peeled for some evidence for both sides
For the Stellaron Hunters, the only things I can really come up with is the Stellaron Hunter Logs in the Data Bank, with the name "Sam..." written down but trailing off
as well as trying to find some connection with the name "Epsilon" during his scene at the end of the Belobog arc, with Epsilon being the fifth letter of the Greek alphabet and there being 5 people known in the Stellaron Hunters: Blade, Silver Wolf, Sam (?), Kafka, and Elio.
As for the Masked Fools, using the same screenshot as above, the quote "True happiness always entails the manifestaton of the dignity of mankind" highlights the drive/motivations of Aha the Elation, with happiness being the true meaning of existence for humanity. The Masked Fools take this an extra step to seek out happiness by stirring trouble wherever they can.
There's also this tavern he mentions on his farewell to the unknown person
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In the Simulated Universe, a tavern is also mentioned known as Tavern World's End, belonging to the Masked Fools.
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Personally, I feel like there's a lot more argument for Sampo being a part of the Masked Fools here, but not against him being a Stellaron Hunter just yet. Just need more proof is all
#hsr notes#hi sorry im coming back to make a rather lengthy post orz#alskdjfah unfortunately hsr is like the One Thing thats making me chill through all this ✌🏼#double Most Unfortunate that its mostly be gluing my eyeballs on this guy ahaha oops#idk if anyone wrote this out yet#i havent looked deeply into the theories for hsr...yet#ive only seen the ones for sampo being either/or and i ran into the tavern scene last night#so i was like oh! i can compile this now! excellent!#soooo here we are#honkai star rail#sampo koski#id love for others to give me some extra proof if they found any! just compile all of it lmao#snow speaks#'is it too early to be making this post?' its nearly 7 am its fine dont worry about it i have brainwormies
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the adult horror conversation with yourself of 'i could have tortillas with dinner tonight. i just had tortillas the other day. that's okay. i can, in fact, have tortillas again! i am putting a different filling in them! but if i have these tortillas, i will have a total of six tortillas left in the freezer. eventually i will have to buy more tortillas. by god, girl, you are allowed to eat the things you have in the freezer, instead of feeling like you have to save them for some potential eventuality so you don't run out of them, and like, what situation are you even imagining where the tortillas would be better to have later instead of for this particular dinner??? if you keep feeling like you have to save them for Something you will just not eat the tortillas!! eventually EVERYTHING runs out and you have to buy more of them!! that is the way the world works!! you are allowed to not have things aggressively stockpiled, except for like, tissues, but that was a purchasing incident on mom's card while she was still here, so you just happen to have, a bizarre amount of tissue boxes. AND WHILE YOUR FINANCES ARE STILL BIG RED QUESTION MARKS, YOU CAN, IN FACT, AFFORD TO GO BUY MORE TORTILLAS IF YOU FUCKING WANT TO!!! YOU GET THE STREET TACO SIZE AND THEY'RE LIKE $2.99!!!!! AND WHEN DID YOU EVEN BUY THESE TORTILLAS, HUH???????? YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU???? WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH THE TORTILLAS AT AN ACCEPTABLE PACE!! WHATEVER THE HELL THAT SENTENCE MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
anyway i'm eating the tortillas. or i mean they're on the counter defrosting while i have some chicken toasting in the toaster oven
#adulting is going soooooooo normally i tell you WHAT#first option of how to keep the house is going to fall through (or well it's not long-term sustainable)#so now we're on second option to keep the house and tomorrow that process starts and i will find out soon if THAT'S possible!!!!!!!!!!!#aaaaaaaaaand if not! then! well!!! will have to move. some places i have an eye on but it's also. Thousand Yard Stare#i got a projected electricity bill -- that was A+ i was so pleased with it!! not bad at all!!! sooo much lower than i was assuming. yay.#BUT THE GAS BILL MADE ME GO 'ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL??????'#FIRST OFF LOCAL GAS COMPANY IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF YOUR METER READER CAN'T TRUDGE THROUGH THE SNOW TO THE BACKYARD#AND IS ESTIMATING 100 UNITS HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS USAGE WHICH I'M SURE MAKES A DIFFERENCE#THERE ARE PEOPLE LOCALLY WHO KEEP THEIR HEATER ON 60 BTW AND YOU'RE STILL CHARGING THEM $300 WHICH AT LEAST YOU AREN'T CHARGING ME BUT DAMN#this area is having a bit of a Time with gas and electric bills. it's a whole Thing. mostly i have luckily escaped that.#/crosses self for good luck even if it does NOT work that way and i am Not religious by ANY means#also they're breaking up a security deposit over 3 months bc i didn't have any other real bills in my name when i switched all the bills#(at least the gas was the only one that wanted a security deposit. and they'll give it back to me in a year if i'm current for a year.)#(but also. rrrrrrrrrrude)#so i was expecting that but also a specific budget billing but they are asking for moreeeee than i thought they would!#mostly this is a jan-march issue. after march at least it'll go down like $90. which is better but also. still. sigh.#idk if i should call and argue about the reading. i should just let it go probably. i don't like it but. well. idk.#WELL I GOTTA GET THROUGH TOMORROW FIRST.#AND BEFORE THAT. TONIGHT. AND MY TORTILLAS.
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Im so mentally ill right now pls hand me my vitamin d pills i need to be fixed, i haven't felt sunlight upon my skin for a week and it's raining over the snow so it's all sloppy and slippery and dark out so i can't go anywhere without getting my feet soaked and my inlaws are asking me what i want for christmas like specifically which means i have to share my interests but i don't want to be perceived right now because I'm feeling the winter paranoia/madness and also i had to take the trashcan out yesterday and faceplanted in the snow and my glasses are all scratched up so i think im going to need new ones and if i want to go ANYWHERE i need to defrost my fucking car on the daily and i hate it. I hate winter i HATE IT. And i have an exam on friday as well as work and a christmas party to attend. I need to move to the forest and become one with nature, just leave society behind and live like Isak in Growth of the soil even though i fucking hate Knut Hansun, that nazi bitch.
#the only thing i have the energy for is apparently scouring ao3 for fics to read through my very specific search methods#and im reading stuff im NOT proud of at all (very cringe) so no im not giving any fic recs#i need the sun please god i miss the sun sooo much give it back aaaaaa#me in the summer: i miss it being dark at night i miss sleeping#me in the winter: i have deficiencies summer me could never understand#why did my ancestors (my danish grandmother and grandfather from bergen) decide to settle in the mental torture part of norway#i need to LEAVE im going INSANE i don't want to live like this#every season is its own kind of hell‚ the only semi good one is autumn and it's usually too short anyway‚ but if it's too long#it's as bad as winter because it gets dark without the snow to bring some kind of light to the day so you're just depressed#and then it gets icy but there's no snow so your car gets zero (NIL) grip on the road and then ur life flashes before ur eyes#abd spring gives you allergies and a low sun so you can't wven drive comfortably#and summer is too hot and it's bright all the time and like. it's FINE. im used to it. i just put up some decent curtains.#but it's disorienting and my internal clock is always completely and utterly fucked.#and i know im raving like a madman right now but i slept for like 13 hours and i have the mental clarity to know im going a little crazy#and i just need to get it out of my system
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what do you mean I have to get up tomorrow and have a normal day- Jon just gave up his position in the one place he thought he belonged because he wants his sister back and safe WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO ACT NORMAL
#jon and arya get mentioned and i crumble to the floor dramatically every time#i simply cant be normal about them#the fact that arya literally killed a black brother bec she saw him abandoning his mission as betraying her brother#'i dont have a sister. only brothers. onky you' AND THEN THEY FCKIN STAB HIMM#when i show up to the function and find the siblings angst alrdy there#the way jon was thinking about sending arya to the free cities when he gets her back and thats where she actually is#GRRM GIVE ME JON AND ARYA HAPPY ENDING AND MY LIFE IS YOURSSSSS#asoiaf#jon snow#arya stark#a song of ice and fire#grrm
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Me wondering why my cat and i have spent pretty much all day in my winter bed blanket and pillow nest and kinda shivering when I’m outside of it, checks my weather app
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Oh. That would do it
#emma posts#listen. I love Minnesota but damn#some days I’m like ‘do we HAVE to have a competition with Antarctica?’#I know it’s global warming fucking with weather patterns#we didn’t use to get this this often#we also didn’t get as many summer droughts and temperatures in the 100s often#one of those things can give me seizures and it’s actually not the cold#lakes my beloved is fucking die without you#what good is enough snow to do outdoor activities if you would freeze too quickly#last winter it was too warm and dry and when we did get precipitation it was freezing rain#global warming fuckery#still. I at least don’t have to worry about seizures from stepping outside 👍#and it’s actually pretty when we have snow#the other night it was warm enough to snow and we got these huge flakes that looked all sparkly like big glitter chunks#and full moons on the snow are gorgeous#I don’t hate winter tbh. I just get cranky about extreme weather happening so often#for a variety of reasons from climate activism history to it just sucking ass#we used to only get days like this once every couple of years#now it seems like it’s either this cold or too warm for real winter#my family signed up for a certain kinda weather when they immigrated here a century ago#and this wasn’t exactly it. at least not this frequently#I’m just glad buildings have better insulation and weather proofing now#the farm house was bad enough before my parents remodeled over the years#you can still feel cold when it gets like this though#but I’m actually at my apartment right now and it’s usually a bit warmer because of everyone’s body heat and it being brick#my window here does have a break in the seal somewhere though#I’ve got six pillows. one of those chair back type pillows. and three blankets plus my cat right now#i would turn up the heat more but my cat and I don’t want to leave my bed#I should put socks on#thanks grandma for making me a pair of really thick pajama pants for winter
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the various ways lucy gray takes revenge on the capitol’s newest golden boy
#lucy gray#coriolanus snow#i know this is far from perfect but i just wanted it OUT of my drafts#also to be clear i fully support lucy grays fate being a mystery and i don’t think she was brought back to the capitol#however i am only human and the idea of snow getting a small dose of what he gives makes me vibrate#so i did get a little carried away explaining the logistics of how lucy gray would be reintegrated into the capitol#i am so interested in this era i very much think that mags + other victors had like meetings w the gamemakers and maybe even the president#himself#about how to increase engagement for the games#like maybe someone from the outer districts suggests that the tributes get trained bc they’re like CAN WE STOP DYING FIRST EVERY TIME#and then it severely backfires when the careers come into the picture and they’re like okay that obviously was not a good idea#them being forced to build their own prison so to speak#anyway! this fic isn’t rlly about/focused on that this is just lucy gray smacking snow around#but if anyone is interesting in this topic lmkkkk i need my ballad mutuals to weigh in on this topic#or anyone rlly#okay these tags are getting too long#writings and musings#hello hello! is this thing on?
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Me: oh i suddenly have a lot of free time, i can be productive & get silly
also me: vaguely stares into space not doing much of anything besides think about the terror bc it's been one of those weeks (months)
#does one not bring habits#i am gonna work on my fic rn i think ive spaced out enough#i feel its important to give myself some space tho like i literally made it through working#holiday retail without becoming a non person like im not even sure if i explained to my therapist#right by what i mean by that but im just so relieved it didn't happen again#NOT to say i was like in a super super bad spot last year either tho bc i wasn't feeling like erm#going back to high school me sort of mentality woof#anyways i think when i get so burnt out i go into legit super survival mode where i become a non person#and this is what i was struggling with in high school so much and also i have#a theory about something else but i dont need to legit air out my mental health shit in the tags on tumblr#just saying i think its so slay i was able to actually experience new years and jsut be silly#and also not being some weird non thing#anyways slay babe slay we sill hopefully stay wining in 2025#its snowing here and im excited for the vibes#the ambience
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once again back at the cemetery finding all the color
#got rained out and couldn’t stay long I was sad#goin back wednesday or thurs though#should volunteer there basically live in there anyway#all seasons#in the winter less because they close too early and I'm like a chihuahua in the cold#the early dark days and cold isn’t my jam#but still went a few times to try and catch snow but didn't#I never get bored of seeing it like I could go everyday and still get that ! feeling when pulling in#gives me crazy peace and even if I'm not taking pictures it's the best place to walk and talk#we go there just to walk sometimes#anyways I love her#my spot#have to catch a moonrise from the tower this year#it’s tricky to do#mount auburn#cambridge#cemetery#mine
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for months i genuinely wholeheartedly could not tell the 911 guys apart and this is so important for me to stress bc throughout my life i have prided myself on being able to tell twins apart really easily and liking being that person to connect faces to other things ive watched or honestly just seen in passing like i could track down a random commercial actress and shit and i mean i suppose part of that is not knowing their characters and they just twin all the time but i apologize still im aware that mans last name is diaz and now i feel like im sitting here laid up @ all the tumblr lesbians like haha damn so thats buck x eddie? that said idk if im like happy i know any of this.
#but it’s chill it feels like a good part of the tumblr ecosystem most of the time i’m like just there enough to be like yuppp i know that#guy. sometimes u talk abt them and im like i just don’t know if its that crazy. then u say some other stuff and i’m like ok that is lowkey#crazy but still i think even if i ever watched it. which i dont rlly plan on. but if it happened i think id have to move in silence#oh god a skunk went off right outside my window man 🙄😒😒😒😒😒😔 anywayzuh i don’t think i need to contribute to any of these conversations but#god knows i love to jump on anything to give my thoughts. so. we shallnt#abby talks#and well u know i’m sorry i think u have to know i’m on a fragile branch (my way of saying thin ice obnoxiously)#when it comes to any of these shows. let alone these circumstances. like u have to know i’m looking any going hmm… is this really just some#guy tho. bc like many such cases. it feels good to know it’s a lot of dykes but like when is the last time everyone flocked to a character#as such. i’m blanking. it certainly can’t be unprecendented.#what are u SAYING bro 🤣😎‼️😭#ok woah this is so terrible im hungry i dont want to go downstairs and make food come back up and have to go down and brush my teeth again#but i don’t think i have anything up hereeee… and either way it smells of a skunk fucking everywhereeee. i say from the place ive been#sitting the past 15 minutes. in my bed <3#i feel like i’m confessing my sins#but what i was getting at is there’s certainly something there. compels me#who said that president snow or smth
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