#give him two lips like roses and clovers (headcanon)
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plum-buckered · 1 year ago
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    "Now that'ths thsimply COO-COO BANANATHS...! Redemption, deery me, the nonexithstent humanity! No, my dear, I.... I... zzzzz...."
        "HEY, AL, WAKE UP!"
    "OH!!! Fire and brimthstone, I'm awake! Now where waths I...? Oh yeths... I don't believe ANYTHING can thsave thsuch loathsthome thsinnerths!"
    Welcome one and all to my NEWEST Alastor, a very VERY different take on a 4P Alastor. This one is incredibly sleepy and goofy, rather than sounding like Ed Boscoe, he sounds like Ed Wynn.
    This blog is run by Hebby, it's a sideblog to @rheddradio and it will have a combination of online and para rp. The rules are basically the same as Rhedd's, so read his.
    ABOUT UNDER THE CUT!
    Albert L'insomnie was definitely a difficult figure to get a pin on. By day, a vastly entertaining radio broadcaster, by night, a brutal serial killer targeting debt collectors, primarily. One notable thing about this man was how much coffee he drank, he often wore quite a bit of cover to hide his darkened eyes, for this man never got ANY sleep, allegedly. This was due to making a deal with demons, to never have to sleep again while he was alive if he could make the debt collectors pay. Eventually, his insomniac habits would cost him dearly as he slipped up while hiding a body and found himself without a head!
    Landing in Hell, Albert found his newfound abilities that manifested here were causing him to explode with potential. Turns out the demons he'd made a deal with weren't done with him, demanding he clean things up! They added to his conditions, changing his name to Alastor, a spirit of vengeance! Completely wiping out the old overlords, Alastor would pass out fully... The first sleep he'd had in decades.
    Oh, but that's not ALL... It turns out, because he'd expended so much of his power, Alastor was NOW the complete opposite of an insomniac, but rather he was narcoleptic!! Always lazy looking, ears always drooping, and with his eyes barely able to remain open, the radio host would meander from place to place, still a terrifying presence to sinners, but barely managing to restrain his habit of nodding off...
    He earned the nickname Plum from always being so plum tuckered out...!
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twisted-crumpets · 4 years ago
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Hey guys, I wanted to make a g/n version of the kiss headcanons, because I felt bad that some people may not feel included or couldn’t properly enjoy the meal. If there’s any headcanons that you want me to do this for, please ask me it’s perfectly fine.
Quick note: Rook’s nickname for his darling had to be changed, because it was not gender neutral. However, this one “mon petit oiseau” (my little bird), is. This was found out through research, if I am wrong, please tell me.
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━━ Trey Clover ━━
Trey was always pretty observant and soon noticed how his feelings may not be as unrequited as he previously believed.
Pink blushes and eyes dreamily locked onto each other’s for too long was sort of a dead giveaway. However, Trey wished to formally explain his feelings for his S/O.
Unfortunately, an Unbirthday Party was coming up and whilst all of the treats were made, the roses were a far cry from done and Cater begged anyone who’d listen for help.
Hearing the third year’s desperate pleas, his darling decided to meet up with Trey so they could both tackle as many roses as possible.
The job wasn’t completely unpleasant, yes they both would rather be doing something perhaps a bit more enjoyable, but they both treasured each other’s company and the small talk was rather entertaining.
It wasn’t long before it finally clicked in Trey’s mind that they were alone and peered down at his love, who was honing their all into making a stubborn rose red.
“S/O, I’m sure you are well aware but I just wanted to say.. I love you.”
His darling nodded at first before taking a violent double take and glancing at Trey, baffled and red at his casual confession.
“Hmm~ was it not obvious already? I would’ve thought you already knew.”
Teasingly chuckling at them, he pressed a gentle kiss against their crimson cheek, unable to hide his smirk. Cupping their warm face in his hands, he looked deep into their eyes to ask for permission before pressing his lips against their own.
The kiss was long and warm. It filled them both with a feeling of home and and comfort and neither of them wanted to leave.
Eventually, Trey pulled away, poking their still red face with his finger, unable to wipe his former smirk off of his face at her bashfulness.
The garden may not have been very finished, but they couldn’t care less when they had one another in their arms.
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━━ Ruggie Bucchi ━━
Ruggie was worried. He always knew that he wanted to eventually confess how he feels to his love, but he knew that with essentially no money, he had limited resources.
Sneaking money out of Leona’s wallet little by little, Ruggie began to feel more confident in finding the perfect inspiration or possible gift for his beloved. As he stood in Sam’s shop, he felt a deep sense of regret for not just stealing a necklace to sell instead.
Prices so high it made him dizzy in the head and weak in the knees. Despair lingering in his chest.
That is, until he saw Trey buying some eggs which caused an idea take root in his mind. Baking was something couples did often and it did sound rather romantic. Plus, who was he to deny spending time with his love and filling his stomach for delicious doughnuts?
After class, S/O was nearly tackled to the floor by the blur that was Ruggie who had a strong determined look twinkling in his eyes. “Shishishi sorry about that... hey! Uh before you go, I’ve been asked to make some treats by Leona, but I barely know much about it. Do you mind giving me a hand?”
Tentatively, his S/O nodded their head, eyebrow raised in bewilderment before parting ways, delighted and perplexed.
Making their way to the kitchen, they began to wonder what was in store. The hyena loved to play pranks, maybe he had one in store for them?
It was however a great relief to see the cheeky student frowning at the recipe as if it was in another language.
His ears cutely twitching hearing their giggles, his head shooting up and with a grin so wide that it could’ve split his face in two adorned on his face.
Hours passed and they couldn’t deny that the evening was very gratifying, with the happy chatter and raucous laughter that filled the room. When doing a count of the doughnuts that were laid out on their tray, they soon noticed one had gone missing and quickly informed Ruggie, teasingly questioning him about its whereabouts.
“Shishishi ahhhh S/O this has been gone for ages~~ you are too easy to trick!”
Placing it back on the tray, they observed the design on the surface, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates after resist to messy “I love you” scrawled onto the surface of the small treat.
Cooing at the sweet gesture, they wrapped their arms around the trickster and softly responded to his feelings, immediately feeling him let out a gigantic sigh of relief.
Pulling away slightly, they stared at his lips entranced before finally connecting them, a cute yelp escaping from the boy.
The kiss was sugary sweet and fluffy and many more was stolen by the playful thief, accompanied by booming laughter and warm doughnuts.
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━━ Jade Leech ━━
The Monstro Lounge has always been a rather busy establishment and had many a particularly busy day. Today seemed to be one of them as the orders kept piling up and showed no signs of stopping. Tireless hours catering and cleaning, until finally the crowd has thinned until the room was empty once more and the Lounge was finally closed.
Weary and stressed, Jade decided to go to the school pool and unwind. The tranquil silence flooded the room and Jade slowly sank into the room watery depths, feeling himself becoming truly serene. Which was sadly interrupted by voices from above calling his name.
With a slightly irritated sigh, he heaved himself onto the pool’s edge, scanning his surroundings with narrowed eyes. That was until they befell onto his love and instantaneously softened.
“Oya? What are you doing here S/O? Surely it is due time for you to be back in your dorm?”
His stomach suddenly felt light and filled with his butterflies learning of his dearest’s concern for him and slowly shut his eyes, not expecting them to stay and hurried rush a variety of sentences jammed together creating one love fuelled mess.
Disheartened by the lack of reply, they went to leave, slightly embarrassed before they were stopped by a cool hand wrapped around their wrist, revealing a slightly pink Jade.
“I must inform you that your feelings are not unrequited.. I love you too, my flower.”
Tugging their wrist to kneel by the pool side, he tilted his head upwards and connected their lips, completely intoxicated by the contrast between their bodies.
Gasping for air, his darling didn’t notice the toothy smile spread across Jade’s face as he pulled them into the pool, wrapping their arms around his neck and connecting their lips once more.
Addictive kisses were stolen and exchanged and neither of them could ever wish for more as they melted into one another, hearts swelling with every touch.
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━━ Jamil Viper ━━
Jamil was ready to pass out. His usual menial chores were increased tenfold as a result of Kalim and his impulsive decision to let his wild pets roam free inside the dorm.
The chaos of the day finally reaching its end, Jamil dragged himself towards his room, ready to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Until, he set his eyes on his love sat patiently on his bed, instantly brightening and then furrowing their eyebrows in worry over the fatigue that seemed to radiate from every part of his body.
Ushering him to bed hurriedly, Jamil fought every urge to sleep as he inquired about why they waited for him at such a late hour.
When hearing them admit their worry for him, he scoffed and gently flicked them on the nose, thankful for the darkness of the room hiding the pink that was painted across his cheeks.
“That was rather foolish of you. This is my job and has always been, you don’t need to worry for me.”
He softened at their indignant whines of protest he brought their into a warm hug and sleepily murmured his feelings into their hair, blissfully unaware of what he just said until he felt his beloved stiffen up in his arms.
“Hmmmmm.... I love you, you know that right, Jewel?”
Calmly he apologised, unable to hide the slight disheartenment in his tone which left him as soon as he heard them shyly repeat his previous words.
Cradling their face, he pressed his lips to theirs in a small tired kiss, lips moving in sync lazily. Tiredly pulling away, Jamil crawled under his covers and gestured for them to follow suite as he pressed his warm frame against theirs and held their back close to his chest. His heart thumping wildly in joy, his brain still struggling to process the sheer amount of love he holds for his beloved.
“Goodnight my Jewel, I will wake you up in the morning.”
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━━ Rook Hunt ━━
Rook had been acting suspicious. He already did have a shady appeal to him, but it was even more apparent than usual.
Whenever he appeared before them, his scent began to be rather sweet and fragrant and his hands where always stained green.
It didn’t help that he kept staring intently at his love like they was the last star in the sky, and despite his usual romantic bravado, this new behaviour screamed at them that he was planning something.
During the lunch break, Rook eagerly bounced up to them, hearts almost visible in his eyes, asking if they was free after school. Taken aback by his suddenness, they stood and stared for a while trying to gather their bearings. Agreeing apprehensively, they couldn’t hide the curiousity filling their eyes.
Upon hearing their reply, he could’ve sworn he entered heaven.
He almost launched them to the botanical garden, his heart running marathons, his mind a mess of thought out poems combining into one chaotic choir of infatuation.
With happiness radiating in every step, he took them to an picturesque area where an archway of orchids greeted them.
“Dear S/O, no amount of words could possibly describe how much my heart swoons for you, my love for you is as bountiful as the sea, encasing me in your radiance. This simple archway is a humble tribute to your golden heart, which I hope to one day own.”
Going weak at the knees at such a heartfelt confession, they responded with such excitability that could have put his to shame.
A stronger sense of devotion was glowing in the hunter’s eyes as he wrapped his toned arms around his love, span them in a circle, holding them close to his heart and kissed them with immense passion.
The kiss was fiery and warm and his darling could feel themselves melt even further into him.
The kiss went deeper and deeper, drowning them both.
Pulling away, Rook panted for air and presses his forehead against their’s.
“Hehe, mon petit oiseau, our love seems to truly be written in the stars.”
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━━ Lilia Vanrouge ━━
Lilia was always very mysterious, but it truly did reach new levels of strange.
The mischievous fae had planned to hang out with his S/O a week in advance and seemed to be up to no good, with the telltale glint in his eyes being a dead giveaway.
Meeting up with his darling at their dormitory, he placed a hand on the small of their back, and began to lead them into the forest.
“Kufufufu I believe that in order for our small rendezvous to be truly enjoyable, one must insist for their guest to close their eyes and have faith in their partner.”
Apprehensively, they placed both hands into Lilia’s cold and calloused hands, shivering slightly at the temperature different between the two and closed their eyes, making them more aware of the sounds the dark forest created.
Sweet bird song and the light windy breeze clashed together in perfect harmony, gifting them the ability to completely relax and put their faith in the impish boy.
It felt as though they both had been walking for a millennia until they were finally stopped in their tracks, and the giggling from the man who was once before them turned silent.
Curiously, they opened their eyes and gasped in amazement. The scenery around them was nothing short of magnificent.
The moon had begun to peak out and painted the trees a beautiful silver. Small delicate beads of light flickering around, illuminating the forest gracefully.
Slowly turning around, they jumped at the sight of the usually talkative fae, quietly smiling lovingly at the innocent joy on his lover’s face.
“Sweet dove, the words I utter now are the words you are the true emotions that have taken flight within me. I love you. No, love isn’t enough, it scarcely passes as sufficient enough. There is no word that exists within any of the dictionaries in all the world that could possibly describe how much I cherish every part of you.”
Hearing their acceptance towards his feelings, he giggled so purely it reminded them of tinkling bells and elegantly dipped them, gazing at their loving expression that was aimed at no one but him and pressed his lips smoothly against theirs.
He could’ve sworn that nothing fit quite so perfectly as the two of them, lips moving in sync, hearts beating a thunderous rhythm, joy and mirth beaming through their lovestruck grins.
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I hope you enjoyed your meal!
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plum-buckered · 1 year ago
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    Oh yeah, Plum is like... 8 feet tall. Very much a difference between him and Rhedd, who's like. 6'1.
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plum-buckered · 1 year ago
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    tag dump
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