#give feyre some slack

[captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship]

Im literally 4 chapters in on my re-read of ACOTAR and I gotta share something with y’all.

When Feyre is taken from her cottage by Tamlin, her family says goodbye but NOT I love you.

I wonder when the last time Feyre heard someone tell them they love her? My guess it’s been years. She has been taking care of her family for years, but I don’t think she truly feels loved by her family at this time.

Then the two times Tamlin tells her he loves her prior to UTM, she was not in the right space to tell him back. One was when she was asleep right after sleeping with him, and one was when she was in the carriage leaving because he was forcing her to. And honestly, after listening to a literary analysis of the book, Tamlin only said it as a cop-out as a half assed last ditch attempt at breaking the curse.

Then Feyre is faced with this riddle. Some people got it right away. Some people didn’t. This particular riddle was decidedly difficult for Feyre because she had never actually been in love before. She has never felt fully loved and safe in what I could probably argue has been at least 8 years or so at that point.

I’ll be sharing my thoughts through this reread

[thelov3lybookworm]

Tolerate It (Part 2)

Part 1

Summary: Everyting will be okay.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: shes a lil small, but shes here hehe

(also creds to @mybestfriendmademe for giving me the idea for the part about fights and silence 🥹😚)

enjoy!

Azriel had never been given the love a child should have received, and maybe that was the reason he thought himself undeserving of it.

Maybe it was his ugly hands and the way he knew that those hands would taint the beautiful, pure skin of his mate.

Whatever it was, he knew he had fucked up when he returned home to find the house empty, the usual warmth and happy aura that he had gotten used to being gone, the house now back to the desolate place it had been before she came along to light it up.

Azriel had realised how much of an ass he'd been to his mate the moment he left, and then decided that he would apologise and explain his behaviour when he returned home that night.

But then the house was empty, and the whole place void of the things that made him want to call it home, so Azriel had simply sighed, knowing he was at fault as he turned and flew to the river house.

Of course, his sister in law had glared holes into his back the entire time he had been begging Rhys to disclose Y/n's location, and even Rhys looked disgusted with his brother.

Defeated, Azriel knew she would not be found unless she wanted to be, so he decided to return and wait it out.

Just before he left the River house, he ordered his shadows to go search the whole of Velaris for Y/n.

"Leave her alone. Let her think this through. You fucked up brother, now let her decide if she wants to forgive you."

Azriel ignored Rhysand, taking off towards the home he used to share with her, now nothing but four walls and a roof to him.

He knew he fucked up, he didn't need anyone to tell him that.

But still, no one left him be. No one let him wallow in his self hatred and pity.

They made it worse by fucking caring for him.

Cassian would visit Azriel, yell and fight, but then leave him food to eat because Azriel was so busy beating himself up over his actions that he had forgotten to eat anything.

Nesta would visit, starting to clean around the house without a word, and when Azriel would try to stop her, she would just glare at him and say the same few words. She did not like untidiness. I'm doing it for her.

Rhys had also stopped sending Azriel on missions, so that didn't help in any way considering Azriel had nothing to occupy his time with, ensuring him feeling guilty all the damn time.

Her silence made him curse himself more. Being an Illyrian, he was used to fights and arguments, but he wasn't used to being ignored. You either fought it out, or you killed in the camps. There was no other choice.

The quiet was too loud for Azriel, to the point he was convinced he was going mad.

It had been almost a week of him either staring up at his ceiling, wanting to just die, or bawling his eyes out in the bathtub, because then no one would see the tears that escaped his eyes.

Once again, Azriel could not help but think of how if he had just opened up to Y/n, let himself be vulnerable, cried in front of her as he told her of everything he had been through, he wouldn't have had to wipe his tears by himself.

Because then she would have wiped his tears for him, held him through the worst of nights, and kissed his sadness away.

But alas, he just had to continue being his thick skulled bastard self.

As he now stared at the half eaten apple Feyre had shoved into his hand when she stopped by his house on her way to the art studio, his heart stopped.

No. Some of us must stay back with him.

It doesn't matter. He will cry anyway. We must go to her.

She doesn't need all of us right now.

His head whipped to where a couple of his shadows hovered nearby, his eyes wide, breath hitched in his throat.

The apple tumbled from his slack grip.

"What..."

The shadows froze, then frantically hurried away, slipping through the space under the door, the couch, the window.

And Azriel could do nothing but sit back, a broken breath escaping him at the realisation that the shadows had known all along where she had been, but had kept the knowledge from him.

They were, after all, their own being, not to be commanded but placated.

After long moments of silence, Azriel got up from the couch and slid to his knees, his head hung low in defeat.

Please, he begged.

Please.

A startled gasp jolted Azriel from the trance he'd been in, and he raised his head to find himself staring into the eyes of his beloved, the eyes he had tried so hard not to become familiar with in case she saw the truth one day, realising he did not deserve her.

Azriel stared, and stared.

And continued staring until she spoke up.

"Az- what are you doing here?"

Azriel blinked, feeling something- presumably a tear- escape his eye as he glanced around. "I... I don't-"

His shadows hissed at him before he could continue, and he paused.

"I wanted to apologise."

Her eyes, that were hard until now, softened. Whether it was at the sound of his broken voice, the state of his being, or the tears streaming down his face without him realising, he didn't know.

And he didn't care as he took in her form, clad in an oversized shirt- his shirt- and nothing else, her hair unbound and messy, the soft skin of her legs on full display for him.

Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers, where tears now accumulated.

"Oh Az." She mumbled, stepping forward towards his kneeling, hunched form.

"Forgive me my love. I love you, I love you so so much, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

Azriel's chest heaved as he reached his hands out, trying to grab at Y/n's shirt, but she walked forward without any prompting. Mirroring his position, she knelt in front of him, tugging him into her chest as his hands scrambled to hold her back, panicked as if she was going to vanish any moment.

It was getting harder to take a breath, tears constantly streaming down his face, any and all air he could take into his lungs escaping in startling gasps, emptying his body, lightening his head-

"Shh, take a deep breath with me."

It was nearly impossible, but he tried. Opening and closing his mouth, trying to get his lungs to work, expanding his chest voluntarily in hopes it would help.

When that didn't work, he shoved his head into the stretch of skin connecting her neck to her collarbone, letting himself drown in the unique scent of his mate.

Finally, his lungs started working again, if only to have her scent dominate all his other senses.

"It's okay, you're okay." She was still mumbling, her body so warm and welcoming as she remained wrapped around him, comforting his cold self.

"It's not." He whispered back, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm-"

"Sorry, I know." She rubbed her hand down his back. "And I am sorry too, for leaving instead of talking it out. But now, I'm ready. I'm sure we can work things out, right?"

He nodded frantically, pulling back to show her how sincere he was being, his head tilted back to look her in the eye. She smiled at him softly, brushing his hair back from his face, quiet understanding on her face.

"It will all be okay."

It will be.

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady @lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @gardenofrunar

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend @stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh @st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium @fandomarchiveilyd

Tolerate it taglist: @anuttellaa @willowpains @blackgirlmagicforever @isa1b2h3 @helloevilmuffins @bunnyredgirl @hellsenthero @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @fxckmiup @honeybee54321 @nahimgoodmom @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @sweetcarolina-24 @misskennygirl @macel625 @justyouraveragekleemain @its-sam-allgood

[shadowdaddies]

hi! i firstly wanted to tell you how much i love your writing and how perfectly you write every character. you’re so talented😊

i was wondering if you could write an eris x reader where it’s at the high lord meeting or some other big event and reader is part of the night court, maybe related to one of them, but mated to Eris and nobody knows. maybe something happens like Beron insults her or one of the Inner Circle insults him and they accidentally reveal the bond by getting protective? it can have like soft, comforting smut as well if you’d like but either way, i trust you completely :)

thank you so much! you are so kind, this ask made my day. and I love this prompt, I had a lot of fun writing this💜

Heated Admissions

Eris x Reader

warnings: none

Shoulders rolled back, you schooled your features into your practiced Night Court facade. A deadly glimmer shone in your eye, confident smirk on your lips as you followed you High Lord and Lady into the chambers where the other High Lords were gathered. 

Heart pounded, nostrils flaring slightly the moment you entered the room, your mate’s presence intoxicating despite your best efforts to ignore him. Like a moth to the flame, you allowed your gaze to flick to Eris’s as you took your place across him at the long table, each of you standing behind your High Lords. 

Amber eyes were already focused on you, Eris’s eyes raking over you as though he were sizing up an unworthy opponent. But behind his piercing glare, Eris sending a wave of admiration and encouragement down the bond. 

You flashed him a cocky smirk, appearing taunting to everyone else around you, all the while sending him your own love as you leaned against the wall, arms crossed as you looked down your nose at Beron.

Azriel grew tense at your side, your hand finding your friend’s arm to give a comforting squeeze, internal satisfaction seeping through you at the confirmation that the tonic had worked. Unwilling to take any chances of your hidden mateship being discovered, you and Eris had each taken a tonic to dilute the scent of the mating bond - but you had never tested it until now.

While Azriel relaxed next to you, Beron’s murky brown eyes stayed trained on you, his gaze assessing in a different way as Rhys introduced you to the room. 

“This is my Military Advisor. She will be explaining our strategy against Hybern moving forward,” Rhys drawled, a lazy smirk settling over his features, violet eyes alight with challenge as Beron and Tamlin visibly tensed.

You stepped forward, hands clasped in front of you, nodding a polite greeting to the High Lords as you prepared to lay out your proposal for a joined strategic effort. 

You’d hardly opened your mouth when Beron guffawed, allowing himself a loud, mocking laugh through his sneer. He did not address you, not Feyre, instead looking to Rhysand. 

“You think that I care what proposal some young, lowborn female has to offer? Surely, Rhysand, things cannot be going so poorly for you in the Night Court that you’ve resorted to such sad excuses for leadership and guidance.”

Rhys’s power rolled off of him in dark waves, cutting off Beron before he could continue further. But it was too late. Eris’s eyes were glowing with barely contained fury, flames sparking at his fingertips as his gaze flicked between his father and you.

Azriel tracked Eris’s reaction as well, the Illyrian’s siphons glowing a bright cobalt as he misjudged your mate’s protective instincts as a threat. Wings twitched, your only hint before Azriel lunged across the table towards Eris.

Time seemed to slow as your adrenaline kicked in, hand flying for the collar of Azriel’s leathers as you pulled him back. Hazel eyes found yours, the spymaster uncharacteristically startled by the feral anger that left your entire body shaking. “Do not touch my mate,” you growled before you could register the words.

Gasps sounded throughout the room, Azriel’s jaw slack while he relaxed, nodding at you in understanding. You flashed him an apologetic smile before turning to face the rest of the room, bracing yourself to stand against Beron’s wrath.

Instead, a frightful smile spread fully across the High Lord of Autumn’s face, a wicked gleam in his eye as his eyes roamed over your body in a far different light than earlier. “Well, my son, it seems that you have more interests in the Night Court than I’d gathered.” 

The tension grew unbearably thick, Autumn and Night Courts poised to jump at each others’ throats in the blink of an eye. 

But it was Helion who cleaved the silence like a spell, the rich timbre of his voice blanketing the room in a sense of calm. “How wonderful that two Courts so often at odds with each other would find the greatest common ground, love.” The wink he sent your way before continuing sending a furious blush over your cheeks, “but I would love to continue the conversation which so many have journeyed here for, if our lovely Military Advisor would continue.”

No one dared to question the High Lord of Day, settling in as you spoke. Leaving the meeting, you felt surprisingly optimistic from the High Lords’ reactions to your plan, Feyre and Rhys encouraging you that you would debrief further in the morning. You didn’t miss the pointed look that Rhys gave you - one that would strike fear into most anyone - indicating the debrief would include divulging of information from you about the mating bond.

Bidding them good night, you turned on your heel towards the room in which you were staying, shoulders slumped as exhaustion and anxiety weighed you down. You shouldered the door open, thinking of your mate as you stumbled through. You had wanted to see him more than anything, but after the Inner Circle’s reaction tonight, you didn’t dare seek Eris out.

Spinning around, you locked the door behind you, letting your head rest against the wood as you sighed, mind reeling with the potential ramifications of that meeting.

“Something on your mind?” a familiar voice purred from behind you, your spirits instantly lifting as you turned to see Eris’s red hair glowing in the dim faelight. A feline grin graced his lips as the Autumn Lord sprung gracefully from the bed, the smell of cinnamon invading your senses as he strode closer.

“Are you alright?” you whispered, hand finding his sharp jawline as you searched whiskey eyes for any sign of worry. Eris simply chuckled, mirthful gaze set on you as he tilted his head into your palm.

Tongue flicked out against the skin there, to be swallowed by a warm, lingering kiss that sent shivers down your spine. “I am just fine, my love. I am assessing my father’s stance on us, and will adjust my plans accordingly. For now, all I want is to be with you.”

His eyes were soft at the admission, unguarded emotion that he only allowed to you see giving you the peace you needed. “I’m all yours,” you promised, pulling your mate in for a searing kiss before you led him towards the bed.

[readychilledwine]

✨️ACOTAR Booty Headcanons✨️

💕Peep the thigh headcanons here💕

Warnings - Butts. Fanart of butts. Nakey butts. Bubble butts. Lady butts. Man butts.

Up next? ✨️ Hands ✨️

✨️Body Headcanons Masterlist✨️ Master Masterlist ✨️

Edited to add - short plus size Elain sneak peak

A/N - for @lady-of-tearshed, I hope this meets all your dreams, my love.

A message from Mother - You, my sweet dear reader, are gorgeous as you are. You are real, touchable, and made with imperfections that enhance your beauty and uniqueness. You are a treasure. Do not compare yourself to a single body on this list.

Rhysand-

I like to start off strong..

Rhysand has a very bite-able booty.

He is slightly leaner than Azriel and Cassian, but he still has a firm butt.

Rhysand loves to wear tight slacks, just to watch your pretty little brain go blank when you see his ass.

He sleeps naked and it's hard for you not to just.. touch the booty.

To be fair, he loves to keep his hand (and hand print) on your butt, too.

Art by Amai actually just posted Rhysand butt fanart. Enjoy it below

Cassian-

John Cena has been described as having a military grade ass with an inhuman body.

Cassian also has an inhuman body, so it makes sense that my guy has a military grade ass.

Cassian has butt muscles in places you didn't even know you could have butt muscles.

It is intimidating. Very intimidating.

But you LOVE watching this man walk. Especially when he's walking to the bathroom to grab towels for aftercare.

Azriel-

Azriel's ass surprised you in the best way.

Azriel is lean compared to Cassian, so his bubble butt shocked you.

Much firm. Still jiggle.

You were ready for this jelly.

Azriel gets super shy when you tell him how good his butt looks, but he's like that one friend who secretly loves it and makes sure to wear the same pants/skirt/shorts the next time they see you so you are in love with their deliciousness again.

Sometimes, you just sneak up on Azriel and accidentally squeeze. In front of his family. But don't worry. He squeezes yours back.

Tamlin-

I'm disappointed I can't find this gif when I need it.

We can all hate on Tamlin as much as we want, but SJM herself says the man is muscular.

I imagine Tamlin was worried about his arms and chest being thicker than his legs, so he started hitting legs and glutes hard.

Then, the next thing he knows, he has a damn shelf.

He hates when you touch his butt though. He'd prefer you touch him other places.

But you bet your ass he is touching yours

Lucien-

I stand by Lucien having Chris Hemsworth's body type.

Lucien had the perfect, truly bite-able ass.

You constantly have your hand in his back pocket.

You constantly are giving it a little smack so it jiggles.

You always walk behind him.

Lucien loves the way you worship his body. He's insecure about his scars, so you loving every inch of him helps.

Eris-

Daddy 🫠🫠

Eris has the captain America Dorito proportions build, and I hope all of you know *exactly* what I am talking about.

I imagine Eris as slim muscular, and when I decided to do these, I needed him to have Chris Evans's ass

I mean look at it

Imagine that ass in Eris's finely tailored clothing.

Imagine that ass getting off a horse.

You're touching him. Constantly. And he loves it.

He loves that you seem to think he's some sort of God.

And he really loves it when you touch his butt because you begged him to treat you as his equal, meaning that ass of yours is in his hands quickly.

Helion-

You know when a guys thighs are so thick they become one with his dump truck? Helion.

He actually requires a CDL for his ass.

You can't really tell until he's naked and turns around due to the thickness of his thighs, but this male has ass for days.

And his ass is FIRM. There is not an ounce of fat on him.

He considers his ass a trophy of sorts, so touching it is only for those privileged to.

Luckily you have that privilege.

Oh, look.. I included the Archeron sisters

Feyre-

Don't accuse me of doing our girl dirty, but I picture Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit when I think of Feyre's body.

The reason you can't accuse me of doing her dirty is because the things I'd do if Halle Berry told me to do them are extreme.

I picture Feyre as very lean, very cut, and she had the cutest baby bubble butt.

She's definitely the friend who thinks she has no booty until you help her find the right outfit for the booty.

She also blushes whenever you touch it.

She wishes it was bigger sometimes, but a few spanks in, and she's telling you she's perfect as she is.

I wish I could find a better picture of this 🫠

Nesta-

Nesta I also picture as tight and lean.

For some reason when I read her, I picture Adriana Lima, but with blonde hair.

Maybe it's because I think Nesta has sultry vibes?

Nesta tries to keep herself small. It's ingrained deeply into her head because of her mother and grandmother that she has to be small.

She's also constantly training, so it keeps her tight.

She may not have the biggest ass, but that thing is the best apple you've bit

Elain-

If you don't know by now, you're about to: elain at minimum is slim thick.

I personally see truly happy glowing elain as mid to plus size, and I'm hoping for mid to plus size elain once this stupid shipwar is over.

Right now, though, elain is slimthick.

She's still recovering from her spicy sadness days, and her recovery has her doing squats in the garden

Ass. For. Days.

It's why she actually doesn't wear pants. She tried once and every almost had a collective mass failure heart attack.

So now, her booty is reserved for you and you alone.

You love it when she wears cheeky things in the bedroom.

I imagine elain is super into impact play because she loves the way you compliment her recoil.

I think she's secretly proud of her booty. She just doesn't want anyone else to know. So sssshhhh.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp

[duskandcobalt]

Everywhere, Everything: Chapter Eight

Chapter Summary: Back in the same city once again, Azriel and Elain are no longer able to ignore what's simmering between them

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: smut. just smut. (18+ pls and ty)

Missed the first seven chapters? You can find the Masterlist for this fic here 🥰

A/N: hello again friends, i'm baaaaack :)

Once again, I must begin by saying thank you for all your lovely comments and messages on my fics and on my wip wednesday posts because they truly keep me going 💕 I hope you enjoy this next installment.

ENJOY XX

Read on AO3

Azriel couldn’t keep his foot from tapping against the linoleum floor of the Velaris airport as he kept an eager eye on the escalator that descended into the tiny arrivals hall. 

He’d picked Elain up from this airport a number of times when she’d gone on work trips or holidays with her sisters. But he’d never picked her up like this - waiting for her inside instead of on the curb. Waiting for her with this new situation between them ever present in the back of his mind just as it had been ever since the morning after Christmas when they’d unexpectedly gotten a little too carried away in his workshop.

He had the thought that maybe he should’ve brought some flowers with him today - if only to have something to do with his hands because right now he couldn’t decide whether to keep them in or out of his pockets and so he’d been fidgeting like a madman for the last fifteen or so minutes. It was a wonder airport security hadn’t confronted him for suspicious behaviour. 

The issue with bringing flowers was that they were headed straight to Nesta and Cassian’s house for the long weekend and the thought of explaining why he’d bought Elain flowers to her brother-in-law was enough to give him a headache. 

He’d already received a look from Rhys when he’d volunteered to pick her up under the pretence that it would make life easier for him and Feyre but maybe he’d been too eager given the speed with which he’d offered when they’d been discussing the logistics for this weekend. 

But Azriel couldn’t have possibly kept his cool. Not when the last time he’d seen her in person he’d had to drop her off at her sister’s house without so much as a kiss on the cheek because Nesta had been standing outside, waiting for her on the porch with a look on her face that hovered somewhere between worry and disappointment, as if Elain were a wayward teenager who’d snuck out for the night. 

It’d been months of separation and now she was once again back for her nephew’s birthday and though they’d been in near constant contact - texts, phone calls, hours spent on Facetime each evening - he couldn’t wait to see her again and he was desperate for a bit of time alone with her - even if it was just the forty five minute drive from the airport to Nesta’s house on the outskirts of town. 

Azriel raised up on his toes and then back down again - made note that perhaps he’d been spending too much time with Feyre because he’d clearly picked up that nervous habit from her - and then focused his attention back to the escalator again just in time to see a girl with brown hair cascading over her shoulders, a bright smile on her cherry red lips, and pretty eyes that were already set on him. 

There were no words for the way that first glimpse of her made him feel. No possible way to describe the rush he felt in his chest or the anxious itch of his palms. For all the slack he caught for keeping his feelings to himself and hardly ever letting his emotions show on his face, now his cheeks actually hurt from the way he was grinning as Elain not so casually rushed across the floor to him before abandoning her bags and launching herself into his arms. 

He caught her easily, lifting her up with his arms wrapped tight around her middle - savouring the feel of her hands as they wove through the strands of his dark hair. 

“Hi,” Elain giggled, resting her forehead against his. 

“Hi, Lain,” Azriel smiled back, carefully setting her back down on her feet so he could move his hands from her waist up to her face, tilting her chin up to him before he lowered his lips to hers. 

He felt the momentary hesitation, the bit of slight shock. He thought for a split second that maybe he’d pushed his luck with her, taken it too far, but the feeling was short lived because he soon felt her relax in his arms, melting into the kiss - melting into him. He knew what would’ve been going through her head. Knew that she’d paused for a moment because they’d never had this before - the chance to be so open, to put on such a display of affection where anybody in their small town could see them.

“Missed you,” she whispered against his lips, suddenly shy. Her face was flushed, eyes shimmering as she pulled back and looked at him. 

“Missed you, too.” Azriel whispered back, pecking her cheek once more for good measure. “Ready to go?” He asked, waiting for her nod of confirmation before reaching for her suitcase with one hand and taking her hand in the other because he simply couldn’t keep from touching her in some small way. 

The walk to the car was quick, quiet words exchanged about the flight as they walked - turbulent to start but otherwise fine. He knew how much she hated landings and so he’d given her hand a squeeze when she relayed with a small laugh the way she’d gripped the armrest, wishing he’d been there to hold her hand instead. 

There’d also, much to his chagrin, been a slight moment of embarrassment when Azriel started his car only for music to start blaring from the speakers - a bass heavy club track with female vocals that featured on his rotation of music he listened to whilst at the gym. He’d been listening to it on the way to the airport at top volume to keep his mind distracted.

Elain had looked over at him, a teasing grin on her lips and one sharp eyebrow raised as he sheepishly lowered the volume and quickly picked up his phone, switching to an indie folk song that was more indicative of the style of music he typically listened to throughout the day. “I see your club rat days aren’t completely behind you, after all.” 

Azriel chuckled as he threw an arm around her headrest and put the car in reverse, looking over his shoulder as he backed out of the parking spot. 

“Only within the constraints of this car and the gym, I’m afraid.” 

“Shame… I was hoping to see you with some glow sticks in hand again. It’s been awhile.”

Azriel shook his head at how much amusement she was getting out of this moment. He’d had a reputation in his college days for enjoying a good night out and while Elain had only witnessed him in his prime party days a couple of times, she’d never let him forget it. “Don’t worry, I keep the glow sticks in the glove compartment and pull them out at red lights to entertain myself sometimes.” 

“Very funny,” Elain rolled her eyes, settling into her seat and looking out the window as she quietly hummed along to the song that was now playing. 

Azriel watched her out of the corner of his eye, enjoying having her as a passenger in his car once again, happily chattering away about what they’d been up to and what this weekend had in store for them. It wasn’t until they were on the last five or so miles to their destination that he noticed how quiet she’d gotten a little over halfway into the drive, the conversation dying down into what he believed to be a comfortable silence. 

But the more the silence continued, the more suspicious he got.  He’d caught her twice now not-so-subtly sneaking long glances at him while she fidgeted with her necklace and shifted repeatedly in her seat, legs crossing and uncrossing as if she couldn’t get comfortable. It was dark out but he could just about spot a little crease between her brows - a dead giveaway she had something on her mind. 

He’d just opened his mouth to ask about it when she looked over at him. 

“Could you pull over?”

“What?” Azriel frowned, looking over at her as he slowed down, approaching the end of the long, dark road they were on. “Are you okay?” 

His own forehead creased in concern as he scanned her from head to toe. He didn’t know what he was looking for, could barely even see her properly now that the sun had fully set behind the mountains. 

“Yeah, I’m fine… I just… I… can you turn down here?” Elain gestured to the left where the paved road turned to dust and gravel - no street lights to be seen. They were supposed to go right and over the train tracks before turning into Nesta and Cassian’s neighbourhood. 

Azriel turned left as directed, driving a little further down the road before pulling to the side and putting the car in park. He twisted in his seat to face her, the dim lights from the dashboard doing little to help him see her.

“Lain, what’s wr-,” Azriel didn’t get a chance to finish his question because Elain was unbuckling her seatbelt and was halfway over the centre console of his car a second later - her lips fused to his neck, her hand skimming the waistband of his jeans. 

“Can we,” her hand slid along his jaw, turning his face toward hers. Her lips were inches from his. “Please, Az. Let me…”

The other hand that settled low on his waist slid down further, fingers gently palming him where his body had begun to catch on far quicker than his mind. 

“Fuck,” Azriel let out an involuntary groan, his hips keening upwards into her touch. “Jesus, Lain…here? Now?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. She breathed in the scent of him, tracing a path with her mouth to his ear where he felt her teeth just barely graze his ear lobe. “Been thinking about it all day long… this whole drive, on the plane, when I was at home. Want you in my mouth.”

Azriel cursed again under his breath, so caught off guard by her uncharacteristically brazen words to even notice that she’d undone the button and zipper of his jeans until he felt her fingers wrap around him, lightly dragging up his quickly hardening length. Just a tease of a touch that had him breathless.

He shouldn’t be surprised that she was acting like this - so out of her mind with the need to have him that she’d gone as far as to make him pull over when they were mere minutes away from seeing her family.

She’d been so eager a time or two on those late night calls, after all. Had only vaguely pretended to be shy when after hours of exchanging increasingly salacious texts, he asked if she’d undress for him. She’d nodded, a pretty blush creeping up her neck as she slowly took off her clothes and propped her laptop between her legs, dutifully following his instructions - lower, slower, yes, just like that… good girl -  until she was coming for him, rapid breaths, his name muttered into her pillow, the light from her computer screen casting her perfect skin in hues of blue.

“Come here,” he groaned, suddenly impatient, overcome with the need to have her - wanting to give her what she was begging for. He unbuckled his own seatbelt and pushed his seat back as far as it would go, helping her over the console and onto his lap, chuckling when her ass hit the horn. She maintained her focus, kissing him once, twice, then shifting down - squeezing herself into the space between his legs, her knees on the floor of the driver’s side, her hands on his thighs, her lips tracing a path around the head of his cock. 

It was like something out of a wet dream. It was every filthy fantasy he’d ever had. Elain on her knees, signature deep red lipstick staining his skin like a map of all the places her lips had explored. Heavy lidded eyes watering as she took him into her mouth - deeper, then deeper still, until he felt the back of her throat, heard the soft choking sound of her taking just a bit too much.

“Careful,” Azriel whispered, gathering her long hair in his fist and holding it back so that it stayed out of her way and gave him the view he was after.

Elain drew back, taking a deep breath as she smiled up at him - eyes glazed over with lust. “I’ve wanted you like this for so long,” she dragged her tongue over his head, her fist tightening and twisting around him. “For years.”

“Yeah?” It’s all he could manage because she was back to it, that torturous mouth making him see stars. The way she hummed around him in confirmation brought him right to the edge. Only a few minutes and she already had him there, thighs tensing as he tried to hold back just a second longer. “Elain… I’m gonna,” he tried to warn her. Tried to give her the option. But she kept going, nails digging into his thighs, almost smiling around him as he tugged at her hair so her eyes were focused on his as he spilled into her mouth with a loud groan.

He watched in a daze the motion of her throat as she swallowed, taking everything he gave her in stride until he was completely spent. He released her hair,carefully tucking it behind her ear as she dragged her tongue over him one last time.

Azriel reached down after she pulled off him, thumbing at her full bottom lip - now slick with spit. “This mouth… all I’ve been thinking about is your mouth. These lips, that lipstick - thought about it on my cock.”

“Hope I lived up to your expectations,” she smiled, shy once again.

“Exceeded them,” he slipped his thumb further between her lips, shaking his head when she playfully dragged her teeth over the pad of it as if she just couldn’t help herself. He had to pull back, keep his hands to himself before he abandoned all plans and hauled her into the back seat of his truck to return the favour.

Elain pressed small kisses to his thighs and his chest as she did her best to make him presentable again before settling back on his lap with her arms around his neck, her face once again tucked into his neck. “Thank you.”

Azriel couldn’t help but laugh as he leaned back to look at her, hands cupping her face. “Think I should be thanking you.”

She shook her head, smiling at him. “Needed that.”

All he could do was grin at her stupidly, tracing her cheeks and then her lips, before he kissed her. Slow. Deep. In no rush. 

To hear that she wanted him like that, needed him… he could almost come again just from the thought of her feeling that way. He was so in over his head, so deeply gone for her.

“Az,” she swallowed, biting down on her lip. “We should go… before the girls send a search party.” 

“You’re right,” he nodded, hands squeezing her ass once more before helping her back over the console and into her seat. He righted himself, readjusted his seat, and turned the engine back on. He started driving back towards the train tracks - his hand on her thigh, a satisfied smile tugging at the corner of his lips. The memory of a moment on a dirt road now a secret just between them - nothing but the stars in the night sky as their witness.

…

Filthy. 

It was downright filthy the way Elain felt about him. Filthy the way she walked into her sister’s house knowing her lipstick was on Azriel’s body, crudely smeared under his jeans. Filthy, the way she could still feel his fingers threaded through her hair - the gentle tug of his fist until her eyes were on him so he could watch as she swallowed. Filthy the way she wanted to avoid eating or drinking if only to keep the taste of him in her mouth just a little bit longer. 

She’d wanted it from the second she’d gotten ready for the airport, slipping on her favourite underwear while imagining him taking it off her. She’d wanted to make him feel the way he’d made her feel a time or two now - knew that he wouldn’t be keeping count but still, she’d been itching for it and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold out as soon as she first spotted Azriel upon arrival at the Velaris airport. It was a miracle she’d even lasted that far into the drive. It was even more of a miracle that she’d been able to stop after all was said and done considering that now, hours later, there was a persistent ache between her legs the begged to be attended to. 

Arriving at Nesta’s house had been a much needed distraction. She’d checked her appearance in the visor mirror just to make sure there wasn’t any incriminating evidence of what they’d done lingering on her skin and then climbed out of the car just in time for the front door to swing open and her nephew to appear at the top of the stairs, shouting her name in excitement. 

From there, she’d been dragged into the house - taken on a tour of the toys and books he’d forced his parents to drag along for the weekend - before he finally handed her over to the adults when the excitement faded and the sleepiness took over. 

She was happy to be back in this house with her favourite people. It was so different from the last time she’d been here, when Graysen had been glued to her hip, his eyes carefully keeping track of her every move. The last time she’d been here, she’d told Azriel that they couldn’t be friends - at least not like they had once been. 

She couldn’t believe just how much had changed in such a short span of time. She couldn’t wrap her head around just how differently everything had panned out. Now she was back in one of her favourite places, no overbearing boyfriend in sight. And yes, she and Azriel weren’t friends, certainly not like they had once been. But it was true in a much different way than she’d anticipated and she couldn’t possibly be happier about it. 

It had been so easy to fall back into old patterns with him - the comfortable ease of their long friendship rekindled as if the year or two of limited communication had never happened. But while those first few weeks after Christmas were just like old times - friendly conversations talking about everything and nothing - at some point their daily phone calls escalated, certain things slipping out with the darkening of the sky and a couple glasses of wine. 

They’d sp0ken about their situation a few times over the phone. She’d confided in him about Graysen - about the mistakes made and the lessons she’d learned. About her hesitancy to jump straight into another relationship. So they’d agreed to keep things casual, to not label anything just yet. Still, it was evident by the constant tension between them, that they were undeniable more than just friends.

Perhaps that should’ve been obvious, given that the last time she’d seen him in person he’d had his head between her legs and it would’ve gone further had Nesta not rudely interrupted. 

She’d hated leaving him like that and had been so eager to see him afterwards but the New Year's rush had been hard to avoid at work for both of them and so they’d ended up agreeing to see each other when she visited for Nyx’s birthday - and to keep this new development just between them- until they could plan their next steps. 

That’s how they ended up in this house - Elain unable to look Azriel in the eye for more than a few seconds while surrounded by their family and friends without thinking of everything she wanted to do with him. She’d been more than happy to entertain Nyx and to help prep dinner. To do absolutely anything that would keep her busy so that she didn’t have time to think about the way she could feel him sneaking looks at her every time they were in the same room. With the distraction of other people, she could push aside the desire coursing through her for just a moment. 

Somehow, Elain had made it through the night successfully. She hadn’t raised any suspicions. Had managed to interact with him in a way that was just the right amount of friendly. But now, laying in the bedroom she always stayed in at Nesta’s house, all she could think of was him. Of what they’d done in the car on the way here just three or four hours ago. 

She wanted him again. Wanted his hands on her body. Wanted his tongue in her mouth. Felt like she needed him in a way that was borderline embarrassing. 

She picked up her phone, opening their text thread. She typed and deleted multiple messages before locking her phone and putting it face down on the nightstand. It felt too desperate to text him like that. Juvenile almost. But it was torture - each shift of her legs, the soft touch of the sheets, the feel of her t-shirt twisting around her sensitive skin - it all added to her incessant need. Her nipples were hard peaks and there was a thrumming low in her core that was becoming impossible to ignore. She’d never in her life felt frustration like this, pinpricks of sweat gathering at her hairline. 

She knew this wasn’t something that she’d be able to work away herself like she did when she was alone at home and desperate for him- in bed, her fingers stroking between her thighs.

Elain sat up, swinging her legs over the side of her bed. She needed air. A glass of cold water. And if she walked by his room… if she happened to see the glow of a light underneath the gap in his door, then that would be the sign she needed. Maybe then she’d knock. And if he happened to be awake, if he happened to open the door, then she’d feign ignorance - was just going to the kitchen and saw your light was on… 

With her mind made up, she slipped on her robe and padded to the door with the intention of venturing to the kitchen but she didn't make it far at all, pulling the door open only to almost walk face first into the solid wall of Azriel’s chest.

“Oh,” she swallowed, dragging her eyes up to his face. 

He looked just as dishevelled as she felt, his hair tousled as if he’d been running his hands through it. 

“I was just going to the kitchen because I needed some -”

“Save it,” he shook his head, voice low as he stepped towards her, forcing her to retreat back into her room. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything, too distracted by the look of determination in his eyes as twisted her around and quickly closed the door behind them.

Her entire body sparked to life, burning as he reached for her again, both hands firm on her hips until she was completely pressed up against the door with nowhere to go, his hips flush against hers, not even a single inch left between them. It was that movement that made her snap out of the daze, it was the feel of him hard and heavy against her stomach that left no room for questioning what he was here for or that his intentions matched exactly what she’d had in mind while she’d been tossing and turning in her bed. 

Azriel wasted no time, hands deftly undoing the tie of her robe, reaching up to slip it off her shoulders until it fell to their feet. His fingers were under her t-shirt a moment later, fingertips skimming the soft curve of her breasts. 

“Az, wait…” Elain breathed, trying to put a bit of space between them if only to clear her head a little. “Feyre and Rhys…”

“Don’t wanna hear names that aren’t mine right now,” he said gruffly, rolling his hips against hers.

“It’s just that they’re right next door. I share a wall and they could hear…” 

Azriel only smirked down at her, thumbs circling her sensitive nipples. “Guess you’ll just have to be quiet then won’t you. Do you think you can manage that?”

She knew he was being smart with her, knew that he remembered just how not quiet she’d been the last time he’d had his hands on  her like this. But her rational brain had seemed to vacate the premises and so instead of offering some sort of rebuttal back, Elain was muttering something like I can be so quiet, I promise I’ll be so quiet as she turned them around, tugging him down towards her and pulling him to the floor. 

“Right here?” Azriel raised an eyebrow, hands travelling up her legs and under the hem of her oversized t-shirt, leaving goosebumps in their path, until his fingers curled into the straps of the lacy underwear she wore.

“Yes,” Elain nodded, not bothering to explain that the headboard would likely be an issue for them. She lifted her hips up to make it easier for him to tug her underwear down her legs. “Here. Now. Need you.” 

“I know,” Azriel soothed, hands pushing her shirt up her torso before lifting it off her head, leaving her sprawled out underneath him - naked on the carpet. “I know, angel.” 

Elain bit down on her lip, watching as he quickly stripped out of his own clothes before lowering himself over her. One big palm was placed on her thighs, calloused hand spreading her wide in a way that would’ve made her blush if she wasn’t so focused on the blissful feeling of his weight settling on top of her and pinning her to the floor.

That same hand maneuvered in between their bodies, fingers easily parting her and slipping through her center - teasing and testing. He cursed under his breath, clearly pleased with what he found there. “You’re so fucking wet already, I think you could take me just like this but I’d like to taste -”

“No,” she shook her head quickly, blindly reaching between them to grip his cock, guiding it to where she was wet and ready for him. “Please.”

The feeling of him settling against her entrance was divine, and her back arched in search for more.

“Wait, fuck.” Azriel stopped all of a sudden. “Condom… they’re in my room. I can just go and…”

Elain locked her legs around him, nails pressed into his shoulder blades to keep him from moving any further away. She couldn’t bear for him to leave. Couldn’t possibly waste one more second with him when they were already so short on time. “It’s okay, I’m on the pill and I haven’t… there’s no one else so if you’re good then I’m good.”

“I’m good, Lain.” Azriel nodded quickly, relaxing a little as he once again situated himself, dragging his cock through her once before he pushed in just the tiniest bit so she could feel that beautiful pinch of initial pressure. “You sure?”

“Yes, fuck, pl-” her words were choked off with a gasp as Azriel pushed into her so slowly, each incredible inch of him sinking into her until there was nowhere else for him to go. 

His lips skated over her jaw until they found her own, kissing her sweetly as he withdrew out almost all the way before sliding in again. “There’s no one else, Lain. Just you.”

“Yeah?” Her eyes fluttered open to look at him as he sank into her. 

“Yeah, that’s how it’s gonna be now. Isn’t that right, angel?” He whispered as he plunged into her over and over again - slow, decadent drags of his cock that had her whimpering beneath him. “Just you for me and me for you.”

“Yes,” Elain nodded frantically, hips bucking up against his, desperate for more.

“You’re mine, aren’t you?” Azriel read her signs and lifted her knee, pushing it up and out to the side, allowing for a deeper fit that had her biting down on her lip hard enough to draw blood. 

“I’m yours. Fuck, fuck, I’m yours.” Elain moaned, lips seeking his mouth for another kiss. 

She didn’t know what had gotten into him but she relished in it. Body growing taut at the suggestion of belonging to him. Maybe it was the distance for him as well, the time spent apart, that had him just as crazed as she had been. Just as feral. 

It was so good. So fucking incredible to have him like this, so deep inside her, making her feel so unbelievably good that she couldn’t even think straight. It was undeniable that this was more than sex. Despite the carnal urge they’d both felt, this had to be more than just physical desire between them. She couldn’t get enough. Wanted even more. 

“Az?” Elain raked her nails up his back, tugging lightly at the hair at the nape of his neck until his eyes were on her. “Will you fuck me?”

She could see the look of confusion in his eyes, the little crinkle on his forehead as if he was trying to figure out if that wasn’t exactly what they were currently doing. It took a second but she could pinpoint the exact moment he caught on to what she meant because his eyes darkened and his lips twitched.

“You want it a little harder, hm? A little rough? I’ll give you whatever you want.” He pulled out of her, kneeling back and nodding as he looked down at her. “Turn over. Get on your knees.”

Elain bit down on the inside of her cheek, nervous anticipation coursing through her as she flipped over as directed. Her hands and knees were on the floor as she turned back to look at him, watching as he knelt behind her, hands kneading her ass . He gave her no warning before lining himself up and pushing into her in one rough, hard thrust - knocking the air clear out of her. 

She hadn’t even noticed that she’d made a noise until his chest pressed into her back, his hand covering her mouth as he nipped at a spot just below her ear. “Thought I told you to be quiet.” 

She loved him like this. Loved the authority. The dominance. The control. She needed it sometimes and she loved that he did as she wanted, fucking her properly without making her feel like any of the other men she’d been with had made her feel in moments like this. Because for each rough movement, there was praise. 

You’re doing so well, angel.  Azriel told her as he gripped her hips hard enough to leave bruises.

You feel so fucking good. As he placed a hand between her shoulder blades, pushing her down into the rug to create the perfect arch of her back.

Look how pretty you look when I’m fucking you. So beautiful when you’re taking me. As he fisted her hair, roughly turning her head until she caught their reflection in the mirror hanging on the closet door beside them.

“Az!” Her voice was muffled slightly by the carpet, her eyes hazy as she watched him fuck her - the measured snap of his hips, the flex of his arms as he gripped her hair, her hips, her ass. He was so strong, so assured in his motions as he easily positioned her just how he liked. 

She hoped and prayed that these walls were solid enough to block out noise because while she was doing her absolute best to stay quiet, there was nothing to be done about the sound of his skin hitting hers each time he fucked into her. Nothing to be done about the sinful, slick sound of his cock sliding in and out of her given how wet she was.

“What is it, Elain?” He asked. “Tell me what you need.”

“More,” she begged. She didn’t even really know what she wanted but she knew she wanted more of him. More of his touch. More of his words. Just more of him. “I’m so… I’m so close, please, I just need more.” 

Azriel slowed his thrusts, pulling gently on her hair until she was up on her knees, her back tight to his chest. Her head fell back onto his shoulder, her lips were on his neck tasting the salty skin there. 

“Feel like you were made for me.” His arms wound around her. One arm snaking up between her breasts to put slight pressure on her throat as he held her up. The other arm drifted down her torso until his fingers found her throbbing clit, his thumb smoothing quick circles there as he continued to push into her with deep, powerful thrusts. She pulsed around him, her stomach pulling tight as her desire reached a precipice with each stroke of his cock and each tap of his thumb. “There you go, Elain. That’s it.”

“So good. You feel so good.” She murmured, so pleased with the intensity this new position brought. “I’m so close.”

“Come for me, baby.” Azriel urged, his thumb still working her beautifully. “Be a good girl for me and come on my cock, Lain. Can you do that?”

Elain made a small noise of agreement, pushing back onto him to match his thrust, amplifying the feeling of him so deep inside her that she felt him in her belly, stretching her in the best way. It was like he was made to fill her. Made to fuck her. 

In the end it was his words that did it - the gentle praise coupled with the rough motion of his hips and his hands. It was Azriel whispering about how well she was taking him that tipped her over the edge. She collapsed back into him with the force of her orgasm, her teeth buried into his neck in a halfhearted attempt to muffle the way she cried out his name.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Ride it out. Take what you need.” His fingers continued to stroke over her, wringing out every last drop of pleasure until she was utterly boneless - absolute putty in his arms as he maneuvered them so that she was on her back again with him between her legs. “Just a little more, okay? I’m right there with you.”

When he dipped down to press his mouth to hers, Elain accepted it greedily as she spread her legs apart and welcomed him in. She was so sensitive, aftershocks of her orgasm still pulsing through her as he entered her again. She savoured the way their tongues slid together, moaning quietly as he lifted her hips and fucked into her quickly until his own hips started to falter. 

“Where do you want it, Lain?” Azriel asked, voice gravelly as he attempted to hold himself together.

“Anywhere. Wherever you want.” Elain told him, meaning every word. He could do whatever he wanted and she’d let him. He could come on her stomach, her breasts. Even her face if that would please him. But there was really only one place that felt right at this moment. One place that caused her to tense around him as if to wordlessly suggest the idea. “Inside me. Come inside me.”

She heard him groan at the suggestion, a string of low curses flying out of his mouth at her words. “Want it inside you? Want me to fill you up?”

“Yes,” Elain wrapped her legs around him, pulling him further into her. Showing him exactly how much she wanted it. “I’m yours, Azriel.”

He said her name as he came, hips stilling as his forehead pressed to her chest. She could feel it, the warm sensation, the jerk of his cock as he gave her everything he had until there was no room left for it all. Elain felt it on her thighs, felt it seep out of where they were still joined. 

“God,” Azriel moaned in disbelief, head still buried against her chest as he attempted to regulate his breathing. “That was…”

“Yeah,” Elain agreed, threading her fingers through his hair as she gently untangled her legs from his waist. He grabbed his t-shirt from where it was laying next to them, dabbing it against her thighs as he pulled out of her - ensuring nothing spilled from her onto the rug beneath them.

There were no words for what just happened. No possible way to summarise everything she felt in that moment. She’d never felt like that before. It was almost too good to be true how unbelievable it was. How incredible he’d made her feel. She couldn’t believe how much time they’d wasted not doing that.

They laid there for ages, neither of them able to find the energy to make it to bed. Instead, Azriel reached up and pulled a couple pillows to the floor along with a blanket, draping it over their naked bodies before pulling her into him. Her breasts against his chest. Her legs entwined with his.

They exchanged kisses in between whispered conversation- slow and heated - hands tracing and grasping until it was inevitable that somehow neither of them were ready to stop. It wasn’t long until Elain was on top of him, breathy moans slipping from both their lips as lowered himself onto his cock, riding him slowly. Grinding against him, taking her time drawing out their pleasure until they couldn’t possibly take it anymore and they both finished with stifled moans. 

“Az?” Elain broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them afterwards, her finger stroking along his jaw as his own fingertips traced soothing patterns down her arm. 

Azriel hummed, sleepy eyes fluttering open. 

It made her heart skip a beat - how beautiful he was like this - sex tousled hair and tired hazel eyes. Lips swollen, the dim moonlight illuminating his sweat slicked, tan skin. He was like a piece of art and she couldn’t believe how lucky she was to be the one to see him like this. To be the one that had messed up his hair and bitten his lips. 

“My necklace,” she forced herself to focus, swallowing nervously before she continued. “I never asked when you gave it to me but I’ve always wondered… the letter on the back…”

Elain trailed off, watching carefully as Azriel tilted his head back further into the pillow sandwiched between his head and the floor. She bit back a smile as a warm flush of colour crept up his neck and seeped into his cheeks. He’d caught on quick to where she was headed with this inquiry and his reaction was enough to hint at what his answer would be. 

“The ‘A’ on the back isn’t for my last name is it?”

“No,” Azriel answered quietly, his hand drifting from her arm. “No, it’s not.”

Her breath hitched in her throat as his fingers smoothed over her sternum, sliding in between her breasts until he reached the pendant. He flipped it over, thumb pressing into the small letter hidden there like a secret.

“Do you engrave your initial onto all the jewellery you make?” She asked.

“You know I don’t,” he answered. The initial signs of embarrassment were gone from his face and in its place was an unabashed, earnest honesty. “That was just for you.”

“Why?”

“You really don’t know, Lain?” He shook his head, tugging on the pendant gently. “I knew I couldn’t have you the way I wanted. Didn’t think I’d ever get the chance… so I thought I’d give you just a little piece of me. I suppose I liked the idea of my initial being right here. Against your skin. Close to your heart.”

As if to punctuate his words, he did just that - pressing the oval into her skin just as she’d done time and time again over the years in an attempt to steady herself in moments where she needed comfort. 

She knew. Of course, she knew that the letter on the back hadn’t really been for her last name. She’d seen the way his eyes fixated on it each and every time he saw her since he’d first put the necklace on her. Noticed the way he’d relax when he saw that she was still wearing it year after year.

It was a relief to know that all this time, what she’d secretly hoped to be true was actually true. 

“You’ve got a possessive streak, huh?” She didn’t know what else to say so she settled for the safe option of making a joke. Everything else that fought to leave her mouth would be too honest. Far too much, far too soon. “All that talk earlier about being yours…”

“I meant it,” he slipped his hand further up her neck, up to her jaw. His hold on her was loose but still, her blood heated with the suggestion behind the action. “We don’t need to put a label on anything. We can keep this quiet, keep it between us. But if we’re doing this then there’ll be no one else. Not for me. Not for you.”

“So we’re doing this, then?” she asked, finally breaching the question that had been hovering between them like a grenade over the past few months. “We’re… exclusive?”

“Yes, Elain.” Azriel laughed, lips hovering over hers as his thumb smoothed over the expanse of her throat. “We’re exclusive.”

She closed the distance between them, her lips pressed to his as Azriel rolled her onto her back and used his knee to guide her legs apart for the third time that night.

[hellodarling1357]

Becoming Parents - Cassian x Reader

My train is running 20 minutes late so here’s some Cassian x Reader headcanons while I wait

Warning: slight mention of infertility, suggestive towards the end, not proofread…

You and Cassian were the last of the IC to fall pregnant and had felt torn between watching your friend’s happiness whilst dealing with the longing for a baby of your own

After decades of trying, the two of you sat down and talked it over, ultimately deciding that maybe having a baby just wasn’t in the cards for you and that the joy of playing the fun aunt and uncle would be enough

Despite deciding that you would stop trying, the sex never halted and, if anything, because even more frequent and experimental ;)

7 months later, you were at the River House helping Feyre with their new born when you sensed picked up on a change of scent

“Feyre, are you pregnant?”

“I better fucking not be after just pushing this one out!”

“Oh weird…”

You went back to playing with the babe, thinking nothing more of it until you looked up and found Feyre starting at you, a smile spread across face and eyes glistening with tears

“What? What is it?”

“Y/N… I think it’s you. You’re pregnant”

Her smile got even bigger as you stared at her in shock

“But we gave up, we thought it wasn’t going to happen”

“Clearly all that hard work paid off” she let out a laugh, wiping the tears from her face as you blinked back at her, still processing what was happening

“I’m pregnant?”

Feyre was nodding back at you then leaped over to give you a crushing hug as you felt tears slide down your face

“I have to go, I need to tell Cass…”

Feyre was up and already pushing you out the door, tears running down her own face

You winnowed to the house you and Cassian had lived in for the last 2 decades after deciding it was time to move out of the House of Wind and get a place of your own

You found a shirtless Cassian, still clad in training leathers with sweat glistening on his chest, in the kitchen putting lunch together

“Hi sweetheart, I thought you were spending the day with Feyre? Want me to make you a plate?”

He gave you a kiss on the cheek as he walked past

“Cass…” but you were at a loss for words, staring back at your mate in shock

You got a noncommittal “hmm?” in response as Cassian pulled out a plate for you and starting putting together some more food

“Cass… I’m pregnant”

He abruptly stopped what he was doing, spinning around to look at you, his face slack from clear shock

“You’re… what? Y/N?”

You nodded at him, a smile spreading across your face as you took a few steps closer and cupped his face

“Pregnant? You’re pregnant!” He must’ve noted the change in your scent and realisation hit

Before you knew it, Cassian had you in his arms, spinning your around at he let out a deep laugh

Once your feet were back on the ground, he peppered your face with kisses before kneeling in front of you to stare at your stomach

“Hi baby, I know we haven’t met you yet, but your mummy and I already love you so, so much”

He pressed a kiss to your stomach and lent his forehead against it, you felt him take in a deep, shaky breath as you ran your hands through his hair, tears falling down your face again

Cassian stood, cupping your face in his hands and starting into your eyes

“I love you”

Then he was kissing you, all while grinning against your mouth, his now shed tears mixing with your own

You pulled away, placing a soft kiss on his cheek

“I love you too”

“We’re going to be parents”

“We are”

“I love you”

“You already said that” but you couldn’t help the wide grin that spread even further across your face

Cassian pulled you into his chest in a tight embrace, nuzzling his head into the top of yours as you held him back just as tightly

You pulled away just enough to look up at him before bringing his face back down to your own, giving him another passionate kiss

“You know, just because I’m pregnant, doesn’t mean we can’t practice for baby number 2…”

Next minute, Cassian had you in his arms, walking you both towards your bedroom, your lunch and any other plans you had for the day long forgotten

[fantasyandshit]

The tailor

Type: one shot

Pairing: Azriel x male reader

Based off of this request

I hope this is ok for my first male reader! I hope to do this justice and hope this lives up to your hopes @vampyama !

I sit at the table at Rita’s, talking and laughing with Mor, Cassian, Rhysand, and Feyre when I hear the door open and the heavy set footsteps I had come to recognize anywhere. My head swivels around, eyes meeting Azriel’s- cauldron his eyes are beautiful. I can’t help but let mine trail down his body, he’d changed from whatever he was wearing on his mission, into a loose fitting black shirt that showed part of husky perfect chest, and a pair of black slacks, hugging his strong, beautiful, enticing thighs oh so perfectly.

“Azriel!” I jump up and run to hug the male, my family chuckling at my antics. I nuzzle into my mates chest, a purr of sorts leaving me. I can feel Azriel pat my head softly rubbing. “I missed you my mate.” I look up slightly, my chin sitting on his chest.

“I missed you to love.”

We love to sit at the table, hands clasped together, I can hear Cassian muttered something about ‘Lover boys.’ But happily ignore him, instead snuggling into my mates shoulder as he orders us some drinks. As we sit and talk, I think back to when I met my mate.

———

I was the tailor for the high lord and his inner circle. “Yn! Alright man, I’ll be honest. I know it’s short notice but I’ll pay double for the rush. We need dresses for all the girls and suits for the three of us,” he looks to the other males with him- I stare at the one with blue gems. Beautiful, that’s the only way to describe him. “Can you make it work?”

I take a moment to think, it’s the highlord- I have to say yes and as long as I close up till starfall I should be able to make it work. “I think I can do that. I’ll just need to take you all back for measurement updates. Although I’m already going to have to close shop so you’ll have to choose from the fabrics I have with me, I can’t import anything.” I survey the group, my eyes once again catching the beautiful male- his eyes already on mine- shit. I look away quickly as the high lord speaks.

“That is perfectly fine. Thank you so much. You will be well compensated I promise.”

“It’s my pleasure, now do you want to come back to the fitting room?” He nods, and the rest of his group follow me back to a large room with a circle platform in front of a mirror and chairs around the room. “Sir wherever, whoever wants to go first may step on the plat form now.” I gather my supplies, moving forward to take Cassian- as I’d heard’s measurements. I write his name on my notepad before getting to work, once I’m done I turn to face him. “So, can I ask what you’re looking for in this?” I write everything he says down, sketching an idea before showing him.

He smiles and nods in approval. “That’s exactly what I pictured. Thanks.” I nod, slowly making my way through the whole group, allowing them to go look at fabrics.

Lastly- Azriel I had learned, the beautiful man from earlier, steps on the plat form. I get some measurements, as I move to get his wing span, I accidentally hit one of the larger membranes.

He moaned.

He fucking moaned.

I apologize over and over, Azriel shushing me, assuring me they are just sensitive. Finally, he turns around, grabbing my arms. We make eye contact and I gasp- he does too.

“Mate.” He whispers, tears spring to my eyes- what if he doesn’t want me? He’s probably disappointed. He probably wanted some beautiful woman. He’s not gay. He can’t be right? My thoughts are stopped by his lips crashing to mine. He grabs my hips, dragging them to his, the tent forming in my pants meeting his own. Neither of us make the connection that his friends are still hear.

———

“Yn? You still there love?” I shake me head, blinking. I had spaced out, Azriel’s thumb rubs my arm soothingly.

“Oh? Yeah- yeah. Sorry love, I just spaced out.” I lean up, giving him a peck on the lips. He nods, going back to his conversation as I just marvel at his beauty.

He turns back to me, eyebrows furrowing, “Are you ok love?” It’s a whisper in my ear.

“Yeah. You’re just so pretty.” I wouldn’t be surprised if there were hearts in my eyes as I respond. He chuckles before speaking again, still a whisper. “You wanna go for a walk.”

I grin, I lived walking through Velaris with my mate, showing him off like he deserved. I nod my head vigorously, practically bouncing in my seat. “Everyone, we’re gonna head out ok.”

Everyone says some variation of ok as we leave the table, as we are walking out, I hear Cassian call, “Be careful kids- wear protection.” I laugh slightly at his antics as we leave to the street.

I swing our hands, skipping and twirling with Azriels shadows down the street, him walking behind, smiling fondly. An idea coming to mind, I dash ahead, giggling as I make it to a field of flowers. I pick a few, weaving them together insanely fast thanks to the help of my mates shadows. Finally, I finish his crown, turning back to him and placing it on his head. He smiles with me, pulling me into a loving kiss. “I love you my mate.”

“I love you too.”

—————

Okkk idk if that was what you wanted- I’m praying I did ok. Again- it’s my first time doing a male reader so I hope it’s ok.

[ervotica]

im vvv much on team tamlin redemption arc, especially when rhys is still considered good when he has also done (at the very least) morally gray things, if not just as bad as tamlin. the parallels between tam and fey post-UtM, and rhys and nesta in acosf really stand out to me

this is what i'm saying!! you can't vilify tamlin for essentially doing the same thing to fey as rhys did to nesta whilst simultaneously worshipping rhys. and although both were wrong, rhys has undoubtedly done some WEIRD shit as well – making feyre dance utm, refusing to help the illyrian women because 'you can't change tradition overnight' even though its been 500 YEARS give or take, owning five houses that he doesn't need when that money could go towards helping the women in the camps escape from the brutal things the illyrian men put them through. rhys is absolutely complacent in all of this because it's not happening directly to him but tamlin is still awful bc he made some very poor decisions when dealing with his trauma? so does EVERYONE in the book. so does rhys HIMSELF. cut him a bit of slack

[flowerflamestars]

Crawling to you, out of breath and heartbroken bc of Chapter 15. The way I wanna shake Feyre until she learns some emotional competence. The way I wann rip Rhysan's and Mor's heart out!!!!

I ADORED the way you linked Azriel's shadows to death and Shashar!!!! What a mind you have!!! What a big brain galaxy brain!!!

I loved the whole chapter 😭

I will be back some time later with more questions and comments BUT I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR UPDATING!

Oh god, Feyre. I give her the most slack because you know she spent the whole day pacing, threatening to go dive into fires, ect- but was still 1000% charmed and into Rhys leading her by the shoulders to that stupid dining room for IC intro dinner the second.

Azriel having these ghostly remnants to hear for longer than she was alive! The battling claims of Rhysand letting her death go (IGNORING THE WINGS) and Azriel, by definition, haunted?

Thank you so much for reading and this delightful message!

[faeriequeensuriel]

A Court of Starborn Visions

SPOILERS FOR ALL ACOTAR AND CC BOOKS. (May also throw in some easter eggs from the TOG series.)

Elain has tried to suppress her visions, and it's mostly worked. Until she starts seeing the life of a red headed half fae woman whose story could mean salvation or destruction for both of their worlds. With the help of the Inner Circle, Elain connects her mind to the Veritas Orb while searching through the void of her powers to show them what she's seen.

OR

ACOTAR characters watch the events of HOEAB and HOSAB through the Veritas Orb to prepare for what's to come.

So I'm still pretty new to writing fan fiction. I've never done a 'characters read/watch their books' before, but they are one of my favorite types of fics. I decided to switch it up a bit and have them watch a different of the series in the form of a vision from Elain. I know this is corny, but it makes me happy so.. Yeah.

Prologue: Elain Has a Vision

Elain had grown content with her life in the Night Court. Tending to her garden and baking breads and pastries weren’t entirely satisfying, but it kept her distracted. It kept the pain of the past few years at bay and for now, that was enough.

She hadn’t trained with her powers since the war, and for the most part, her visions had left her alone. Though a few did manage to sneak through every now and then. Small things like knowing it would rain tomorrow, or knowing what Feyre planned to gift her for the winter solstice.

So it took her entirely by surprise when she started catching glimpses of someone’s life who she did not know. Stranger still were the funny little gadgets that this girl would use to communicate with. And the buildings, they were so incredibly tall, practically touching the sky.

She wasn’t sure what to make of these visions. This girl seemed like she had a fun life, full of friends who cared for her. She seemed happy in a way that Elain wished she could be. These days, Elain felt rather lonely. She had her sisters and the wraith twins, but she was still missing something. She wanted to be in love again, and to be loved in return.

She’d thought she’d had that with Graysen once upon a time, but he’d rejected her for becoming fae, no matter that it was against her will. It was part of why she’d never given Lucien a proper chance. He was beautiful and clever, but she’d already had so much ripped away from her. If she gave into the mating bond, wouldn’t that be giving up her freedom to choose as well? She craved him. His scent, his touch, they were a comfort, but she couldn’t let herself get close to him in that way. It wasn’t like he would want her anyway, not after how she had treated him since the bond was revealed.

And then there was Azriel. He was always there when she needed him, and it had felt like he’d really seen her. She thought he may have felt the same, but after the last Winter Solstice when he had told her she was a mistake.. No matter how much he seemed to regret it and apologize, there was no taking it back.

Yes, she was indeed envious of the girl from her visions.

But then the visions started happening more and more frequently. And the more they happened, the more severe they turned until one day, Nuala and Cerridwen found her convulsing on the kitchen floor with cherry pie filling splattered across the walls and floor as if Elain had thrown it into the air as she went down.

She awoke several hours later in her room, with both of her sisters sitting at her bedside.

“Thank the Mother, you’re ok,” Feyre sighed.

Nesta just grabbed her hand and said “What the hell happened to you, Elain?”

That’s right. The vision. It had consumed her so completely that she’d entirely lost herself. She’d had no control, which terrified her. But this vision could not be explained with words alone. She’d have to show them.

“Feyre, I need you to gather Rhysand and the rest of the inner circle. I need you to know what I saw.” Feyre nodded and her face went slack as she communicated with the High Lord.

“Do you need anything else?”

Elain hesitated for a moment. “Yes. I need the Veritas Orb. And I need my mate.”

~ ♥ ~

Lucien was baffled when he received word from Feyre that Elain, Elain of all people, was requesting his presence at the House of Wind library. He didn’t think she had ever asked for him. He was a nuisance to her. A shackle, and a reminder of what was taken from her.

It frustrated him that she had wanted nothing to do with him, but he would always respect her wishes. She was his mate, and while she would never fully be his, he knew the moment she asked that he would be hers. He wanted her to adjust to being fae and to learn how to hone her powers. He wanted her to find joy and love again, even if it wouldn’t be with him.

When the others saw him walk through the library door, they quickly made their way out to leave him alone with Elain. That was a first. He had never actually been in a room alone with her.

“Hello, Lucien.” Her voice was soft and delicate, but it held more strength than the last time he had seen her, which was just a month or so after Nyx was born. It had been almost six months since that day. Gods, and her saying his name.. Had she ever said it?

“Elain. Feyre informed me that you would like to speak?” It would be best if he kept this formal, kept his heart out of it. He couldn’t stand the thought of scaring her off now that she had reached out.

“I guess I should get straight to the point.” Mother save him, he didn’t think he would like where this was going. “I had a vision. A series of them actually. And I need to show the court what I’ve seen. It isn’t as simple as letting Feyre or Rhysand into my mind. It’s.. A bit of a maze in there, full of mist and they could easily get lost.”

Lucien just nodded, encouraging her to go on, while trying to figure out how he played into this.

“We are going to use the Veritas Orb to show everyone what I saw, but it’s risky. The orb shows the truth, but it has never been needed to show the future. And because it concerns another world-”

“Wait, another world? Like how Amren came to be here?” The thought was enough to send shivers down his spine.

“Yes.. In a way. I do not believe that this is the same world from which she came, but it is a world that seems.. Complex. I will have to reach out with my powers not only to the Veritas Orb, but also this other world. I won’t be myself while I’m searching, and I may get lost myself.”

“Elain, this sounds incredibly dangerous.” No, he absolutely did not like the sound of this.

“It is.. But that’s where you come in. If you agree to help, of course. I won’t ask you for something that you don’t want to do. Especially for me, I know I haven’t been the kindest and you deserve better than that, but I just have so many feelings about everything that has happened in the last few years that I don’t know what to do about this.. thing between us.”

“Woah, hey, take a breath, love.” Lucien instinctively rested his hands on Elain’s shoulders in a soothing manner and she instantly relaxed. “First of all, this thing as you called it, is something we should sit down and talk about when there’s time and we aren’t worrying about sending your mind into the void. I can’t say that I understand exactly what you’ve been through, but I understand that it was traumatic and you deserve time to figure yourself out.”

Her breathing started coming easier so he continued, “I don’t know what the future might hold for either of us, Elain, but I won’t pressure you to accept this bond. Second of all, no matter what we mean to each other, your safety is my top priority. If I can do anything to make this process safer and easier for you, all you have to do is ask.”

She was looking up at him with those wide doe eyes, now lined with silver. “Do you really mean that? About just wanting me to be safe?”

He moved one hand to stroke her silky golden-brown hair. “Of course I do, love. Of course I do. Just tell me what you need from me. Anything.”

She stared at him as if she’d never seen him before. “I need an anchor. Somebody who can hold my hand and maybe speak to me if I seem like I’m drifting too far away. Someone who can keep me grounded in this world, while I try to view the other one.”

Lucien nodded his head. “I can do that.”

She nodded as well. “I supposed we should summon the others.”

He turned for the library door to call for the Inner Circle, but Elain grabbed his hand first. His heart pounded wildly as he slowly turned towards her.

“Yes, Elain?” Gods, her touch was heaven. Unexpectedly calloused from the years working in her garden, but still velvet soft.

“Perhaps, Lucien, when all of this is done..” She looked down, trying to hide a lovely blush. “Perhaps we could try to be friends. If that is something you would want?”

She met his gaze again, her eyes full of hope and something else. He melted under that stare.

“I would like that very much.”

[eveysreadingcorner]

ACOTAR Fanfic Part One

Setting: Takes place after ACOWAR.

Rated R

Characters: (Y/N), Lyndra, Osmand, Rhysand, Feyre, Crush (unknown)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Can I have that one, please?” I ask the merchant.

I’m walking around the town of velaris as I do every Friday morning. Today feels like a good day:) Rhysand my high lord has announced the victory against Hybern. The night court has won the war against hybern and there’s a huge celebration tomorrow night. The merchant hands me my goods.

“Thank you.” I smile to him.

I’m definitely going to need to buy a dress for the party. I’m on my way to meet my best friend Lyndra. We decided to have a nice lunch today and chat before the celebration tomorrow. I walk towards our favorite spot in Velaris. A small brunch spot with a perfect view of the mountains , shops and people of velaris.

“Lyndra” I yell. I spot her talking to Osmand. My other best friend. I hadn’t realized he was joining us today. Lyndra is wearing a casual everyday dress that probably make her golden hair shine and big brown eyes glitter. She’s so gorgeous.

Lyndra and Osmand turn to look at me. Osmand is wearing brown slacks and a Paige shirt with sleeves. It makes his green long hair and his green eyes stand out. I rush towards them and they pull me into a bear hug.

“Omg guys I can’t breath.” I exaggeratedly gasp for air.

“What took you so long?” Lyndra screams at me, lightly pushing me.

I show her the necklace I bought from the merchant. I got it as a symbol of our victory. It’s a gold necklace with the mountains and stars that says “night court.”I’m forever grateful to live here in velaris. I will do whatever I can to repay my highlords to live in this city.

“Omg it’s beautiful I want one” she exclaims. Osmand gives an approving nod and grabs the necklace to get a better look at it.

“How excited are you guys for tomorrow?” Osmand asks as we make our way to the hostess of Cafe Velaris.

Internally screaming.

“What do u think?! We need to go shopping , let’s go to a boutique.” My eyes practically bulge out my sockets.

The hostess takes us down in a booth near the back of the shop.

“Definitely, I’m picturing a purple knee length dress with lace as the sleeves” lyndra answers as she sits down.

“I don’t know what I want yet.” I admit.

“You’d look great in anything (y/n).” Osmand tells me.

I smile at him. He’s so sweet. Too bad he’s taken. He took out our high lady’s sister Elaine on a date. Don’t ask me how he did it. Apparently he found her looking sad in a garden when he was bringing in some boxes from the market and offered his sympathy and words. Although it makes me a bit jealous, I already have my eyes on someone. I don’t think I’m jealous of her more just at the fact that he’s not around as much.

“ earth to (Y/N)!” Lyndra shakes my shoulders. She’s sitting on my left and Osmand is sitting infront of us.

“Sorry, what?” My attention is back.

“LOOK.” She mutters so only I can hear shoving me slightly. I scan the room very casually. My lips part and I know exactly what she’s referring to.

A couple booths away I see our high lady, high lord and his circle chatting away. I get all giddily inside when I see him. My heart beating louder and harder in my chest as I watch.

God, he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.

I have no idea of his name. He always hangs around with Rhysand and Feyre. I think he’s a body guard or something. He definitely works close with them. I’ve been crushing on him for months. I see him here and there around town but he isn’t around much. He doesn’t talk much and keeps to himself.

He’s taking a bite of his pancakes and than he looks up and he’s looking at me!! Our eyes meet and I try my hardest to look like I’m not fucking dying internally. His eyes are so beautiful. Hazel eyes, his sharp jaw, pouty lips and fluffy black hair. God I can get lost in him. I casually look down and bite my lip.

“You are guys are annoying as fuck.” Osmand says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I turn to my left to see Lyndra also staring into space. I laugh out loud.

“Just go talk to him (Y/N).” He continues, while looking at me.

“I can’t just go up there and talk to him! He works with our high lord.” I reply in a hush.

“Yes, you can talk to him. I talked to Elaine and that’s our high lady’s sister.” He replies casually.

I shake my head in awe. He’s crazy if he thinks I can just talk to him.

Lyndra joins the conversation and says “to be honest, you’ve been making googly eyes for him for months; just ask him out.”

“ARE YOU GUYS CRA—-“ I stop myself realizing how loud I’m being. Oh my god.

I take a deep breath and look between them.

“That’s all it will be, a tiny attraction because there is no way in hell I’m going up to him.” I reply and change the conversation.

“What are you doing here anyway Osmand? I thought you had to help with the celebration.” I ask.

“He got out of it because he’s taking Elaine out later.” She side eyes me with a smile.

“Awww, how cute. This is what your fourth date already, When are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend?” I raise my eyebrows at him.

The waiter brings our usuals. Like I said, we come here a lot. I grab the syrup and pour it on my waffle. I take a big bite of my waffle and sign in delight. I take a peak up to get a glimpse of my crush. He’s laughing at something a blonde says. He turns his head and we make eye contact again. This time he smirks at me and nods his head forward as in saying hi. I look away quickly and practically choke on my waffle. Oh my fucking god.

“Are you okay?” Lyndra slams her hands over and over again on my back. Can this moment get anymore embarrassing.

“Yes I’m fine.” Taking sip after sip of water. This is what I get for wanting to look at him.

Osmand rolls his eyes at me. “ No, I’m not ready to ask her yet.”

“Who’s the coward now?” Lyndra laughs. I join her.

“It’s not that, I just—I just—“ he tries to explain.

“ You’re just scared.” I cut him off. “It’s okay, so am I.”

I didn’t dare look up in that direction the entire time we ate. From the corner of my eyes I saw Rhysand and his friends leave.

————————————————————————-

Thanks for reading. I’m just getting into the story but I promise more interesting things to come! We all here for some smut ���️🌶️🌶️ 🥵🥵

Part two coming out soon.

Familiar Characters belong to SJM.

Evey’s Reading Corner

[shadowdaddies]

Hi! I'm relatively new to ACOTAR, only about halfway through ACOWAR. I adore your writing style! Can I please request a fic where Cassian's mate tells him that she's pregnant with his child?

Hi love! Welcome to the chaos that is the maasverse🎉 and thank you so much!

I also have this other request so I went off of this concept:

Illyrian Baby

Cassian x f!Reader

Tears brimmed your eyes as you left Madja’s office, the healer having no good news for you today. You’d been seeing her for years now, trying different tonics and monitoring your cycle in hopes of finally conceiving with Cassian. 

Your mate was notably vocal about wanting a family of his own, to be the father he never had for his own children. It made you sick to your stomach, thinking that you might not ever be able to give that to Cassian. The kindest male you’ve ever known, the most deserving to be a great father - how would he stay with you if you couldn’t give him those things?

Trudging through the door to your home, you made a cup of tea and bundled under the blankets of the couch, thankful that Cassian was gone for training at the Illyrian camps and wouldn’t see you like this. 

Days passed of pacing around your home, trying to find the words to tell Cassian that you still weren’t pregnant. The anxiety was making you physically ill - the smell of certain foods making you nauseous, waking up sick some mornings. 

Feyre came over one morning to check on you, her soft voice ringing through the halls as she entered your home. Wiping away the tears - your emotions felt like they were out of control lately - you pulled yourself together and headed downstairs to greet Feyre. 

“I brought soup, and some medicine from Madja,” Feyre called out, before looking up to see you enter the room. The High Lady froze, nostrils flaring and jaw slack as she gaped at you. A sudden burst of laughter escaped her, her hands clapping over her mouth as tears filled her own eyes. You shifted your weight uncomfortably, thinking you must look even more terrible than you thought for Feyre to react like this.

Sensing your confusion, Feyre lowered her hands. Smiling as she shook her head at you, your friend whispered the news that turned your world upside down. “Your scent... You’re pregnant.” 

Tears brimmed your eyes as your emotions threatened to spiral again - and the realization dawned on you. The  turbulent emotions, the aversion to smells, the morning sickness - you were pregnant. Feyre summoned Madja, who came to your home straight away and confirmed the pregnancy. 

With Cassian due to return from Illyria the next day, Feyre informed Rhys that she would stay the night with you, and the two of you spent the evening preparing for Cassian’s return.

When your mate arrived the next day, you stayed upstairs so that he wouldn’t be able to scent the pregnancy. Cassian called out for you as he barreled through the door, eager to be reunited with his mate. “Sweetheart, are you home?” Holding in your excitement from flowing through the bond, you waited for Cassian to find the clues.

Footsteps sounded throughout the downstairs as he found your letter with instructions, sending him on a scavenger hunt through your home. Biting your lip as you laughed at the sound of Cassian’s shouting, knowing he must have put together the hints. 

The sound of a large warrior bounding up the stairs echoed through the house, and Cassian threw the door open, his hands full with the tiny shoes, onesie, and the blanket you’d embroidered “Illyrian Baby” into, much to Feyre’s amusement.

“Are you serious?” Cass whispered, holding out the items in his hands, disbelief on his face as he slowly approached where you were seated on the mattress. 

You nodded at him, a small joyful laugh escaping you. “You’re going to be a daddy.” The General collapsed between your legs, kissing your stomach through your dress as he cried. You ran your hands through his hair, tilting his face to yours as you confirmed again, “we’re going to have a baby, Cassian.” 

You didn’t lift a finger for the rest of the night, Cassian carrying you everywhere as he made dinner for you, checking in every couple minutes to ask what he could do for you. He ran a bath - insisting that he join you, and wash your hair - all the while discussing potential baby names, already planning how you would rearrange your home to accommodate for a child. 

A peaceful smile graced your features as you closed your eyes, and for the first time in too long allowed yourself to relax - enjoying the warm embrace of your mate, the father of your child. You were certain that there would be no child as loved and cherished as yours.

[siderealxmelody]

Curse of The Heart Part 2

@celystial

Rigelus set Lorin down. His entire body hurt and he could barely keep himself upright before he collapsed into a chair.

He barely reacted as Einar rushed into the room. He snarled as his father held him back. He was going to kill him like this. Rigelus shut his eyes and tipped his head back. It was Tisiphone's voice that broke the tension.

"Why did you demand I call them Rigelus? How did - are they the reason my daughter was -"

"We would never -"

"Your children are mates."

Narcissus body went slack in shock and Einar lunged moving to Lorin's bed. Rigelus couldn't concentrate on his words, could barely hear them over his pounding headache. He slowly rose his eyes to Tisiphone. Her eyes were cold, her fingers twitched at her side. She hadn't looked at Lorin yet.

"I want an explanation. Now."

"I don't know everything just what Austrus told me when he was torturing me. Orion gave her up in exchange for Intel on the northern rift front. Aren't Creon and her betrothed?"

Tisiphone finally looked to Rhysand. Still no plea for him to intervene but he did anyway. He put an arm around her, his fingers found hers lacing together. She was shaking Rigelus dimly registered as his head swam again.

She swallowed, licking her lips before speaking again.

"Orion wouldn't -"

But she didn't finish that sentence. Everyone remembered how Azriel had been when Hypaxia at Death's Door 300 years ago. How he'd threatened Rhysand's father he'd walk and he had. How he was possesive and positively feral if anyone so much as made her cry. It was a miracle Anastasiya still hadn't been killed. But then Rigelus was sure dealing with Aleksander would have been worse.

By the Wyrd had he hoped the new generation wouldn't be as dramatic.

-

Elain stared down at her sister, she was asleep having been given tonics by the healers. Their parents had left the room giving them all some privacy. Einar had been dragged away, her hands curled at her sides and she looked to Nesta.

"You didn't know about this Morven?"

Morven glared at Elain, holding Feyre tighter, kissing the top of her head.

"No. I was away. I didn't - I would have stopped it. I - You're the Seer shouldn't we be asking you Elain?"

Urstin glared at her siblings, her fingers cramped. She'd been shadowing Madja for hours now and she just wanted to rest.

"I doubt Lorin wouldn't want -"

"How do we know what she wants Urstin? Look at her! Look at what Einar and Orion did to her!"

Morven didn't step away from Feyre's side. Favorite sister that she was to him. But he gestured widely to Lorin. To the way she lay there like a doll.

"This is their fault!"

[rosanna-writer]

to make them love me and make it seem effortless (chapter 3)

Summary: When the High Lord of the Spring Court whisks her off to Prythian, it's exactly what Feyre Archeron wants. Her plan: let Tamlin romance her to break the curse and use her proximity to him to pass military secrets back to the mortals. And it works— until a certain other High Lord tries to steal documents she's after.

Pairing: Feysand

A/N: In this AU, Spring is cursed during the War, Feyre is born much earlier, and Hybern reins Amarantha in when she goes rogue.

Back to Rhys's POV for this chapter!

Third chapter is below, and you can also find it here (along with the rest) on AO3 :)

The infighting is delicious.

When I arrived at the battlefield tent designated for negotiations, Tamlin charged me. I winnowed away before he could lay a talon on me. Nevertheless, Hybern and Beron each grabbed an arm and held him back.

I give them a wide berth as we wait for the others to arrive, but I can hear some irritated whispers about "just a mortal girl" and "get your head on straight" and "don't make this any worse than it already is."

In fact, Tamlin makes it easy on me. The rest of his alliance is so concerned with reining him in that I don't actually have to answer any difficult questions about what Feyre is doing in the Night Court. It isn't long before the rest of the High Lords and the mortal queens arrive and the conversation turns to other matters.

I just wish Feyre was here to see it. But perhaps getting to tell her all the details of our enemies shooting themselves in the foot will be the next best thing.

The bond has been quiet since I left. I hope that means she's getting the rest she needs, but with how murky the connection is, I can't be sure.

Around mid-day, I feel a slight shift. It's almost too subtle to notice, but I think she's awake. I scribble a note for her.

Good morning, Feyre darling. Tamlin is seething but it hasn't come to blows. He's managed to keep your name out of his mouth. It's going well.

The note disappears into thin air, but no one thinks twice. Plenty of others at the table have sent similar notes back to their own advisors all morning.

It's quite a while before the note returns with Feyre's addition under my own. Her handwriting is the most hideous chicken scratch I've ever seen, hardly legible at all.

Good to hear.

I add my next message on the next line under it. Did you sleep well? There is talk about handling the sudden influx of mortal refugees fleeing the opposition. Thoughts?

It takes even longer for the paper to return again, so long that I get wrapped up in a discussion of a proposed change from Helion and almost forget that I sent it. But it comes back in that same scrawl.

Yes thanks. The mortal queens should help but won't. Not much use opening up Prythian's borders, they're too afraid of fae. Better to send supplies.

I had suspected the same, but it's good to have Feyre confirm my suspicions. Despite their posturing, the mortal queens have struck me as too self-involved to do the right thing and provide for the newly-freed mortals who will be flocking to their lands. As much as I'd rather not pick up their slack, there are much worse uses for Night Court resources than making sure vulnerable people are provided for.

I send back one more message thanking her and don't think much of it after that. There's a heated argument about redrawing the borders to transfer some of Autumn and Spring's territories to Summer, and the shouting takes my full attention.

But the paper comes back again, and when I see her addition, I nearly drop it in shock.

I never would have guessed my mate was an artist.

On the bottom margin, she's drawn a mountain range below a night sky. It's a remarkable level of detail for something so small, the shading just so. And above the highest peak, there are three stars. It's not just any mountain— it's Ramiel.

I fold the paper and pocket it to keep it safe. We break for lunch, but as much as I want to see Feyre again, there is work to be done.

I find Azriel in the tent we've designed as our headquarters, reading over what I assume are the most recent intelligence reports.

He looks up when he hears me enter. "Are you making any progress?" he says, not bothering with a greeting.

"Some but not as much as I'd like," I say. I'll give the full details later, when I can meet with the rest of the Inner Circle together at once.

"Feyre's father is alive and well. Their fortunes ‘just so happened’ to turn around after she left for the Spring Court," Azriel says.

"Tamlin's doing?"

"Seems like it."

"Is that her only family?"

Azriel hesitates, which tells me that the answer is going to be unpleasant. I brace myself for whatever bad news I'm going to have to relay to my mate.

"Her mother died years ago. She has two sisters who I've been unable to locate."

Even outside the Night Court, all the way in the mortal lands, Azriel can find anyone. Either they're in hiding, or someone else doesn't want them to be found. I don't know what that means.

Before I can answer, Cassian pushes open the tent flap and enters. "Your mate thinks like a general, Rhys," he says with a grin.

“The fact that you think that’s a compliment says more about you than it does about her, general, ” I say.

Cassian laughs. "I'm not wrong, though. She's all backbone."

The respect in his voice gives me a warm feeling. Maybe it's too much too soon, but I can picture Feyre slotting herself into my family, as if she's always belonged here.

"I don't disagree," I say. Cass and Az share a knowing look, and because I have no desire to get into a discussion regarding what transpired over breakfast, I change the subject. "Any new developments this morning?"

Cass shakes his head. "No, I've been in the healers’ tents all morning, trying to visit the wounded and get a sense of morale. Everyone is eager to go home."

"It's too early for me to give you a timeframe," I say. There's nothing I want more than to send my soldiers home, but the ceasefire is still so fragile. With all the yelling this morning, it seems possible, even likely, that fighting could break out again, and we can't be caught flat-footed. I'd like for my soldiers to be home by Starfall, but I don't know if that's realistic.

"Understood," Cassian says.

I nod, and then it occurs to me that Cassian probably has more time on his hands than he has in a while. "If Feyre is interested in training, would you be able to help with that?" I say.

"Do you even have to ask?" Cass says with a grin.

"You should get her a bow. I saw calluses on her fingertips, the kind you get when you shoot without a decent finger guard," Az says.

I think back to how rough her hand had felt when it brushed mine this morning. My mind had been elsewhere, and I hadn't considered what she’d been up to that made her hands like that. But now, I wonder why she spent so much time shooting without basic protective gear. It's one more entry on the growing list of questions to ask when I see her next.

"That's simple enough," I say, and I'm sure Cass is already devising ways to add moving targets to the training ring.

There is more negotiating to do, so I don't linger much longer. The rest of the afternoon devolves into petty squabbles, and it's evident that I'm not the only one at the table who hasn't slept. High Lords can be capricious on a good day, and everyone's patience is thin. We end without much progress.

I sent another note to Feyre, so she's waiting for me in the study when I winnow back to the Moonstone Palace. Her hair is damp, and she's changed into another set of Mor's clothes.

"You look exhausted," she says.

"Hello to you too," I say.

That cloying perfume from last night is gone, and I can properly smell her for the first time. It’s the same scent from my dreams. I wish I could bury my face in her hair and just inhale, but I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate that.

She tilts her head. "Did— Did you just sniff me?"

"You smell like yourself now."

She gives me a look that's equal parts puzzled and irritated. "Gods-damned fae and your noses."

I laugh and lean against the desk, feeling some of the stress of the day fade, just from being near her. Unfortunately, the day isn't over.

"We're meeting with the rest of the Inner Circle soon, but I have news for you," I say.

"You do?" she says and grimaces, as if the only kind of news she can imagine is the bad kind.

"Azriel confirmed your father is alive and well."

I'd expected relief at that, but the grimace stays in place. "Good."

"And your sisters are missing."

"I expected that."

I do my best to stay out of her mind, but I can still feel her disappointment through the bond. "I'll have Azriel keep looking."

"If they want to be found, they'll come to me." I don't say anything, just try to puzzle out what that means. Eventually she continues, "When I left for Spring, we knew it might put a target on their backs. Humans hate fae, plus there was a chance someone could use them to get to me, and then me to get to Tamlin. So they went into hiding, and it's probably for the best that they stay that way for now."

"They would be safe here." I can’t let it go unsaid, but I’m sure by now that she’s aware of this, too.

"I know. If this peace lasts, they'll find me."

I want to pull her close and tell her that I'll fix it for her, but I don't want to overwhelm her further. I feel completely ineffectual, just standing here.

"I'm sorry." It's not even close to sufficient.

"It happens. We weren't close. Can we change the subject?"

She’s staring straight ahead at a spot on the wall, not looking at me. There's a swirl of emotions on her end of the bond, too mixed to really name, but none of them positive. Whatever the story is with Feyre's family, it's complicated. I don't blame her for not wanting to share, at least not yet.

"Of course. Cassian has found himself with more time on his hands. Are you interested in training?"

She turns back to back to me. "Training?"

"To fight. Not that I think your knife skills are subpar after last night."

That, at least, gets her to crack the barest hint of a smile. "Yes. It might do me some good to get outside and hit something."

With an answer like that, Feyre really is going to fit in here. Cassian will be delighted. "Perfect. Azriel said you may be interested in a bow. Because of the calluses on your hands."

At the mention of the calluses, she flips her hands over and starts to pick at them. "The last few months are the longest I've gone without shooting since I first learned. It's how I kept my family fed," she says.

There's another story there, but after how she reacted to the news about her family, it's clear now isn't the time.

"Most Illyrian warriors train with a bow. It's a convenient weapon to shoot while airborne."

When we were younger, Cass and Az both out-shot me during every single target practice session. Something tells me Feyre is also a better shot than me, but I keep that to myself. Better to delay the inevitable ribbing and temporarily preserve my dignity.

"It will be good to get my hands on one again." Her fingers twitch as if she’s already curling them around a bowstring.

"Perfect. Next order of business—"

"How many orders of business do you have ?"

"Two more, and we'd get through them quickly if I wasn't so rudely interrupted—"

I'm cut off by a ball of scratch paper that Feyre flings at my head. I duck and mist it before it hits the wall.

"Prick," she mutters, but she's smiling again and I am, too.

"As I was saying," I say pointedly, "Tomorrow we're going to start teaching you to shield your mind."

Her brow furrows. "Can mortals even do that?"

"With extensive practice, yes. You need a more reliable way to keep me out of that lovely head of yours. I try my best, but the bond seems to amplify you, and you insist on thinking at full volume."

"Alright. And the last order of business?"

"We're debriefing with the rest of the Inner Circle and making a plan for negotiations tomorrow. We're meeting at the House of Wind, so I'll leave it up to you. Should we fly there or winnow?"

"Fly? But you don't—" I unfurl my wings, and my smile just grows wider at her shocked expression. "Why didn't you tell me you have wings?"

"You didn't ask," I say innocently.

"Most people don't have hidden..." She trails off and struggles to find the right word. Finally, she manages to splutter, “Appendages.”

"There's nothing I'd love more than showing you all my appendages, Feyre darling," I purr.

"Prick."

She's faster this time, or maybe with my wings outstretched I have more surface area, and another ball of scratch paper flies through the air and grazes my wingtip. It gets stuck on a talon, and I fling it back at her. She ducks before it even gets close to her.

"You didn't answer my question. Winnowing or flying?" It seems almost too good to be true that she didn't bolt after the flirting, so I half-expect her to reveal a crippling fear of heights because I'm due for a disappointment.

But she says, "Flying."

Once we're at the window, I hook one arm under her legs and the other around her shoulders. She circles her arms around my neck, and the full force of her scent hits me again. I just drink it in for a moment, the feeling of her warm body pressed against my chest and her breath on my neck.

I push off into the air, and her entire body goes stiff. There's a sharp jolt of panic across the bond.

"It's alright, Feyre. I'll go slow," I say softly. I can't hover, but once we're at a proper altitude, I slow down.

If she wants to spend the entire flight with her face buried between my neck and shoulder, I can't say I mind. But there's so much I want to show her, and flying is the easiest way to do it. After a minute, she feels less rigid.

"Can you look down? I want you to see the city," I say.

She tips her head away from me and gives a small gasp of surprise. "It's beautiful."

"This is Velaris, City of Starlight."

"Is there a reason it's on all of your maps and none of Tamlin's?"

I take that to mean she's made full use of the library while I've been gone. Industrious of her, but I wish she'd gotten more rest. "Yes," I say, then explain how the city has been kept hidden for years.

She's quiet after that, and it's peaceful, perfect, just flying through the night air with my mate in my arms. Everything feels right in a way I never knew it could.

After a moment, she says, "That mountain over there, the one under three stars…"

"That's Ramiel," I say, "You might have seen it on the Night Court insignia."

"I haven't. When I was doodling today, I didn't think much of it. It just seemed like the right place for the stars to go. I had no idea it was a real place."

The enormity of that washes over us both. It's terrifying in some ways, how deep this bond goes, the power of it. If it weren't accompanied by the bone-deep, instinctive sense of trust, I think we both might have fallen apart today.

As we approach the House of Wind, Cass and Az catch up to us, bringing Mor and Amren with. The sight of them pulls me out of my thoughts and back to the task we have at hand: updating each other and making plans.

As I set Feyre down, Mor says, "Nice shoes, Feyre. Where'd you get them?"

The peal of laughter that gets from Feyre makes me think that wasn't a genuine question and there's context I'm missing. How the two of them have already managed to have an inside joke is beyond me. But I can't complain at the sight of one more puzzle piece sliding into place, even if the prospect of them joining forces is a little intimidating.

But there's no time to waste, so the six of us head straight to the war room. Mor and Amren give updates on how the rest of the Night Court is taking the news: similarly to Cassian's troops, they're relieved and eager to know when their loved ones will be home. There are no major updates from Cassian or Azriel since we talked earlier.

As I start to describe Tamlin's reaction this morning, I watch Feyre and don't try to hide it. There's nothing but cold fury on her side of the bond. Her face is blank, but her posture is tense.

I reach out with my mind. What's wrong?

He tried to hurt you.

I'd feel the same way in her position, but it's still a marvel that she would care this much. When I recount the rest of the day, she relaxes, along with the rest of the Inner Circle, at the news that the subject of her departure from Spring was dropped fairly quickly. Through the bond I feel her anger melt into something I can’t define until I realize it's a vicious sort of satisfaction.

We debate methods for giving Tamlin reassurance that Feyre is alive and unscathed, but none of us can think of one that will be sufficient proof without putting Feyre in harm's way. Feyre goes quiet throughout the whole discussion. I don't like it, but I don't feel anything concerning through the bond, so I stay out of her head. When we find that we're talking in circles, we agree to move onto the next item on the agenda.

I lay out the concerns that were raised regarding the incoming newly-freed mortals. And that's when Feyre finally cuts in.

"The mortal queens have enough poverty in their lands already. I would know," she says. "They don't care about their existing subjects, and humans would never relocate to Prythian."

"Not even if we carve out room? Have Tamlin, Hybern, and Beron give some of their territory to the mortals as reparations?" Mor says.

All eyes fall on Feyre, who seems to be considering it. "It could work," she says, "But they'd need more than land. Resources until they can stand on their own two feet, maybe some kind of protection. I think it would be delicate."

"It could stretch us thin. Could we manage that and take care of our own?" Amren says.

Feyre bristles, but it's a valid question. Ultimately, my first duty is to the Night Court. "Not alone, but with the other Courts, we could," I say.

"And I could be a bridge," Feyre says, before I even have a chance to ask if she would.

It seems like so much to put on her shoulders, especially when she's untested, but she wouldn't be alone. I can’t devote much time to foreign affairs when there is still so much rebuilding to do, but Mor and Amren are accomplished stateswomen in their own right. They could guide her even if I can't.

"Then I'll see if the rest of our alliance is open to the idea," I say.

We move on and tie up a few loose ends before we break. As the six of us walk back downstairs, the mood lightens. There are celebrations happening across the city tonight, and I'd be drinking and dancing with the rest of them if I wasn't so tired.

"You should go with them if you want," I tell Feyre.

"Not this time. I'm exhausted," she says.

The promise of a next time is so casual, but it means everything. She could stay here and be carefree for once in her life.

My friends don't badger either of us to come out with them, the way they would normally do if I insisted on staying home. As little rest as they've gotten, I think they can tell the past day has been taxing in additional ways for Feyre and me. They say their goodbyes and leave the two of us alone together on the balcony.

"I'm planning on staying here tonight, not the Moonstone Palace, if that's alright. Mor has another set of clothes here too, and Cassian will likely want to use the training ring here in the morning," I say.

"Does Mor stay wherever you do?" she asks.

"She doesn't like to be alone, but I don't think she'll be back tonight." I consider asking her about the shoes but it seems like something that's between the two of them. "Dinner?"

"I promise I won't try to slip you any food."

I think she means it as a joke, but I can't find it funny. Even with the bond, we still have no idea what we can and can't joke about. "Please don't."

I drag a chair out to the balcony along with my food, and Feyre follows suit. There's music drifting up from the celebrations below and more lights glowing than I've seen in a while.

Feyre stares down at it as she eats, a pensive expression on her face. I'm not sure what emotion it is I feel from the bond, but it's not warm or happy. "This is all so beautiful," she says, and I'm not sure what she means. "You're not going to hide the ugly parts of your court from me, are you? Not— Not like Tamlin did?"

"I love my court and my people, but it's far from perfect here. I wouldn't hide that from you, but it seems better to ease you into it," I say.

She pushes some of her food around with her fork. “Tamlin told me about mating bonds because he thought it might snap for him. But he didn’t mention the mating frenzy. He must have thought it would scare me.”

“He’s an idiot. You don’t scare easily,” I say. She keeps pushing the food around on her plate, so I add, “But no, I won’t do what he did. There’s only so much information we can take in at a time, and I don’t see a reason to frontload the worst parts.”

She fixes me with a penetrating look, and says, "Alright." I hope that means she's satisfied with the answer.

We both turn back to the food and go quiet. I'm too lost in thought to really taste anything, but at least for me, the silence feels companionable. After a day of heated meetings, it's like a balm.

I get up to grab wine and pour a second glass for her without thinking about it. When I sit back down, she accepts it with a quiet "thank you."

"I don't want to be in your head right now, but I'll give you a thought for a thought," I say, taking a sip.

"I'm wondering if this is as strange for you as it is for me, feeling this deep connection but not even knowing your favorite color."

"This is without a doubt the most bizarre experience of my life."

She smiles into her glass. "That makes me feel better."

"And for the record, it's dark blue, the color the sky turns as night falls. What's yours?"

"Violet."

"Why?" She shakes her head, and I catch sight of her cheeks flushing before she buries her face in her empty hand. "Feyre..." She just shakes her head again and doesn't look at me. I don't need the bond to know she's embarrassed. Now I'm dying to know, but there's no use in pushing her. "Fine. My turn then. I'm wondering what kind of person calls what you drew today a doodle. It was intricate."

Feyre looks up and shrugs. "It only took me a few minutes. I needed a break from reading."

"How much of an artist are you?"

"Not as much as I'd like. I like painting the best, but we didn't have much money for supplies, so I didn't always get the chance. But pencils are cheap, and charcoal is cheaper, so I'm better with those."

That settles it— I'm taking her to the Rainbow as soon as I get the chance. "The first dream I had of you was your hand painting flowers on a table."

And there it is again, the enormity of the bond between us. It seems we can't escape it, even when we're making idle chitchat. Feyre downs the rest of her wine.

We don't say much else, and I don't remember when the exhaustion finally claims me and I drift off in the chair. When I wake a couple hours later, she's not there. I panic for a half a second until I notice the blanket over my legs and realize she must have put it there.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

nessian queen i need help

*falls to knees*

just read some acotar and mor was being rlly annoying

can you give me some therapy and maybe write a fic where mor is kinda maybe like subtly insulting nesta the way she did in acowar and cassian catches her and like legit just tells her “mor shut the fuck UP” bc I really need that pls like rlly badly for my sanity and mental health n wellness

*blows u a kiss*

I mean how could I say no to an ask like this? I’m very interested in that period of time post-war, pre-ACOFAS so that’s where this little scene is set. Hope this clears your skin of the troubles you’ve been through

“She talked to Elain yesterday,” Feyre sighed, swinging her legs over Rhys’ lap on the overstuffed couch. “So that’s something.”

“I still don’t understand why she moved out,” Cassian adjusted his wings. They were mostly healed, but still got stiff if he let them settle too long.

“It didn’t surprise me she wanted her own space,” Feyre smiled sadly up at Cassian. “That’s just Nesta. She’d never let others see her struggling. What gets me is why she chose to go to that awful little place across town when the townhouse is completely empty.”

“I don’t understand why we end up talking about this every night.” Mor lifted the wine bottle from the Center of the low table and refilled her glass. “She left for the same reason she does everything else. Spite.”

“That’s not fair, Mor.” Feyre shook her head. Cassian only brushed the hair out of his eyes. He was starting to feel like he was living in a time warp.

Mor had a point, honestly. They had this same conversation every night. Feyre and him tried to brain storm ways to get Nesta back, Amren refused to say anything, Rhys kept his mouth shut but sometimes let a laugh out at Mor’s jibes. Then Feyre got mad at him and they all dropped the topic. Until the next night.

“It’s true,” Mor shrugged. “I’m tired of talking like it’s some big mystery. Nesta is being spiteful. Whatever. Nothing new.”

Feyre frowned, but said nothing. A muscle in Rhys’ neck pulses like he was holding back from nodding in agreement.

Maybe he didn’t have a right to be annoyed, but he ducking was. He was exhausted and frustrated and annoyed and just wanted to talk to her.

But he couldn’t. She wouldn’t let him. So, he talked about her. And Mor knew that. He knew that she knew.

“Well maybe Feyre and I are tired of you being nothing but negative while we are trying to come up with actual solutions,” he finally snapped.

Mor’s jaw went slack, a few drops of red wine dribbling down her chin.

Rhys let out a low whistle.

“My solution,” Mor drawled, “is to stop talking about that plague of a girl and get on with our lives.”

Cassian breathed in hard enough that one of his freshly healed ribs sent a sharp pain through his chest.

“That’s not what you said when it was me.” Mor swallowed, shifting in her seat. “When I was a fucking mess after the last war. When all of us were drinking and sleeping around and fighting for a decade. When I-“ Cassian stopped himself short. What he’d done in Illyria was not a story Feyre should learn about like this. “You weren’t so flippant when it was me, Mor.”

“Because you deserve better!” Mor threw her hands up in the air. “You were going through something, but it wasn’t who you are. Nesta has been nothing but nasty and spiteful and horrid since she got here!”

“Shut up!” Even Cassian was surprised when the words spilled out of his lips, but he found he couldn’t stop speaking them. “Just shut up for once! Please. You hate Nesta, fine. I don’t really care, but you don’t need to go on and on about it every fucking night. Feyre and I have asked you to cut it out so many times. Just give it a fucking rest, Mor.” He shook his head, breathing out a long, slow sigh. “Feyre and I are going to talk about her. We are going to talk about trying to help her. You don’t have to like it and you don’t have to listen to it, but you do have to just shut up. Or leave.”

Mor blinked. “This is why I say it every night,” she pointed a finger at him hard. “This is why I won’t give it a rest!” She set her glass down and pushed to her feet. “Because someone needs to remind you what she is. You want to help her? Where was she when you were healing? Where was she when the fighting ended? She will never care about you like you deserve! Either of you. She isn’t capable of it.”

“You have known my sister for less than a year,” Feyre spoke quietly. “All of you have.” She shook her head, “I have my problems with Nesta, but I have a right to. You have known her in the months after her very life and humanity were torn away from her and she still fought in our war.”

“She did everything in her power not to!” Mor cried, “she fought training and attending the High Lord meeting and even stepping on to the battle field until the last second every time!”

“But she did it,” Cassian broke in. “She did train. And she did warn us about the wall. And she did speak to the High Lords and she nearly died to draw Hybern out.”

“She nearly sacrificed you, you mean.”

“I wouldn’t even have been alive to face Hybern without her.” The room froze. Everyone went entirely still and silent with that single sentence that grazed against two things they never spoke of. Cassian’s guilt regarding his legions, and the reason Nesta was able to pull him from the sky at all.

“You don’t have to like her,” Cassian repeated. “But just shut up about it.”

[musicallibrarian93]

Nessian kids HCs

We all know Cassian is gonna be a girl dad but I also imagine he just wants loads of kids. Like him and Nesta are gonna straight up have like 10 kids. (All in good time though)

“Let’s have another baby.” Cassian whispers into her as she tries to falls asleep

“Honey, we can’t just have another baby...”

“Making it is the best part.” He smirks

And because he’s such a good dad and she loves children, she obliges him and Cassian holds his promise to make sure that none of his children ever feel unloved.

Their sons take their fathers example and get very protective of Nesta and the other Valkyries.

Nesta finds it sweet at first but then when they’re old enough she challenges them to sparr so they can see that she is fine.

Their daughters are just as fearsome as the rest valkyries.

All the kids love eating, breakfast at the house of wind is hilarious to watch.

Because Fae pregnancies are few and far between there are big age differences and this is so wholesome to me.

The older siblings will still come by for breakfast and of course the house caters for all of them.

They have a little girl who bonds with the house more than the others. She often spends time in the library, in the comfort of the darkness of the library.

Nesta has to be the one to get her because the memory of Bryaxis still scares Cassian.

The kids often compete to see who can do the most steps 🥺

Some have wings and some don’t but they all experience the joy of flying.

The thought of Nesta waltzing with her sons and Cassian twirling his daughters makes me so happy.

Just imagine they go to the court of nightmares for winter solstice and Nesta and Cassian take their oldest children with them, a girl and a boy, (the rest are at open with uncle az and auntie Gwyn).

Cassian dances with his oldest child, spinning her around and she smiles like her mother.

Nesta dances with her son and tells him the story of how she dances with his father so many years ago at the very same ball.

“I know the story, mum... You tried to get Eris to propose you-“

“No... Eris did Propose, because your Mama is that good at dancing.”

“She slacking a little tonight.” He smirks just like his father.

They all have their own rooms in the house of wind but they often have sleepovers in each other’s rooms.

When the kids have nightmares, Nesta or Cassian will stay with them until they fall asleep.

All the children grow up with the inner circle and all love their aunts and uncles but of course some get on better than others.

Nesta and Cassian have twins at some point and they love uncle Rhys. The girls are so smart and love to pick his brains about history and business and books and any other subject they can think of.

Of course uncle Azriel and their daughter who loves the dark are besties x especially because Gwyn even though she doesn’t live in the library anymore she still works there, and she keeps an eye on the little girl.

Azriel and Rhys teach them how to fly.

Feyre takes some of them painting.

Basically the possibilities are limitless because there’s so many kids and they’re immortal.

I just love thinking of all the things their children are gonna achieve and Nesta and Cassian supporting them no matter what.

They’re very artistic and creative children and Velaris is their canvas.

Nesta and Cassian also love travelling and when the opportunity arises they go travelling, taking the kids with them (or whoever is around/the ones who need to come because of their ages)

Nesta and Cassian decide to not to have any more children, but Elain and Feyre joke that they’ll never truly be done.

Mor and Emerie are there to help them train.

They are also the first port of call whenever the kids are annoyed and want to run away. They’ve almost definitely gone to their house.

Mor is also not afraid to call Nesta and Cassian out if she thinks they’re being unfair to their kids. Auntie Mor is on their side.

Chocolate cake parties.

They make a big deal out of birthdays (this is defo inspired by a fanfic I read this morning about their kids waking Cassian up on his birthday and giving him birthday cake)

(Please keep adding to the list)