#githyanki take A Lot of pride in how they look

[spicyraeman]

Lae'zel makes one musk comment and suddenly she's the dirtiest of the group, but I just KNOW this woman's got a 20 step face and hair routine, she's just so efficient at it that she's done before you even roll your ass outta bed

[tavyliasin]

Disability Pride Essays - Lae'zel, Ableism, and More Neurodiversity

As we continue through Disability Pride Month, we reach the latest of the Origin characters to face my analysis microscope~

Lae’zel’s story is very much shaped by her upbringing. Her entire identity has been crafted by her people’s customs and culture, the Githyanki focus on strength and the need to win the fight against the Mindflayers taking precedence over absolutely everything else. But how does this tie into disability, you may be wondering? Well, we will be going over some heavier topics again today and in a fair amount of detail. The reliance on strength in a society to this degree can end up with ableism and eugenics, because in their single-minded pursuit of victory there is no room to care for the disabled in their community. We’re also going to take a look at some character traits from Lae’zel herself that some have mentioned feeling a connection to in terms of neurodiversity representation. So, with that in mind, let’s take a closer look at Lae’zel of Creche K’liir and what her story can tell us about disability and ableism in societal structures.

I just have to mention how odd it was that doing the GIF search for "Lae'zel" had so little of her and multiple Kermit the Frog GIFs instead...ok back to the essay

What is Lae’zel’s Disability?

Lae’zel herself can be representative of some features of how autism can present in people. She shows a preference for clear rules that can be followed and structures that are ordered and logical. She also struggles to adapt to a sudden change in those same structures, when rules change or things do not match up to what she believed them to be, it can be hard for her to accept that. This was actually one I hadn’t picked up on myself yet until talking with a couple of people whilst doing a little more research on her character and story for writing this very piece, and it’s really interesting to see. There is also the potential for her to be injured and receive a permanent stat debuff from the Zaithisk in Act 1. This can also represent a permanent disability from a medical procedure, potentially even mirroring some more traumatic and outdated “treatments” that are no longer in use, or even some that are still used today that cause significant harm and distress to autistic people. A lot more of what we’ll cover here is more about the society she was raised in and how this reflects her own views and attitudes, both towards herself and others.

How Do We See The Disability In The Game?

The autistic features mentioned in the previous section are more present in how Lae’zel is very single minded and certain about things, and how it takes a lot of evidence to persuade her that the systems she has trusted and relied upon for her entire life are not what she thought. Even with a lot of concern and evidence around the Zaithisk, it still takes multiple rounds of persuasion to get her to fight or leave the device before it does that long term damage if all the checks are failed and she stays inside. This same reliance on power structures and established rules and roles almost gets her killed again when we meet Vlaakith and face that particular truth. It’s a genuine struggle to accept that everything is not how it was supposed to be, that all those comfortable support structures are just…gone. It’s a lot for her to go through, and understandably it seems as if falling back on battle skills and strength bring Lae’zel the most comfort particularly in the beginning where she is living her worst nightmares - stuck in a strange land with the looming possibility of becoming everything she has fought against and feared since she was old enough to understand the world around her.   If we fail the Zaithisk checks and Lae’zel is hurt, we see that very clearly in the permanent debuff to her stats and abilities. There’s no undoing damage like that, and it will impact her for the rest of her life much in the way that an incident causing disability could.

How Does This Reflect Real Life?

Autism has a lot of very different ways that it can present in people and in how they experience it. There are plenty of autistic people who might feel like Lae’zel and her story don’t represent their life in any way at all, but there are at least a few who might well pick up on those connections and find comfort in them. Some autistic people do feel, like Lae’zel, that having a rigid structure is beneficial to them. They prefer to know where they stand, what the rules are, because it is much easier to have things laid out in black and white than to try and decipher it from wider context or trying to read in to people’s reactions and hidden motivations. Part of this can present in being very trusting - it is easier to believe that a person is only saying something because it is true, than to try and see past any lies or read between the lines if there’s a difficulty in doing so from the neurodiversity. Similarly, having a routine can also be very comforting to some autistic people. They know where they are meant to be, what they’re meant to be doing, and why. Change can be distressing and take a more time to cope with, whether this is a change of surroundings (like finding yourself in a whole new world), a change in routine (going from daily battles that are expected to having far less solid plans that keep changing), or a change in the established rules/reality (finding out that long held beliefs and facts were never true). It can also be very difficult to accept that a figure that was admired - possibly to the point of fixation - is not at all what they were supposed to be. Losing that person to look up to can feel like a huge shaking of someone’s foundations, especially if they have built their whole life and goals around doing what that person expects of them. This could be a parallel to a parental figure for an autistic person who has always trusted them, followed the given rules, but then feels a betrayal or a change from the expectations of that parent, or even finds out that the parent they admired has done something they strongly disagree with. Similarly it could be an idol, someone they look up to, who equally does something unpleasant. Like, perhaps, a famous author who wrote books that became a hyperfixation turning out to be deeply bigoted against certain communities. Hmm. I’m sure I’ve heard of something like that somewhere… The rest of the parallels to real life will come more from the society and raising than from Lae’zel herself, as in some routes she shows a lot of ability to grow and change past those ideals and find her own path. Even if it still has some of those same structures, she can come to accept the changes in her own way.

Githyanki Society and Eugenics

This one is quite heavy, but it’s so important to touch on. Before Githyanki are even born, they are judged. If an egg takes too long to hatch, it’s deemed weak and discarded or left to die. There’s little room for any weakness at all in Githyanki society, because they need every member to become strong enough to fight and win against the mindflayers, but this also means that at any stage of life they can forfeit their lives. Even as children they are encouraged to fight - sometimes even to the death - to ensure the survivors are strong. Old age doesn’t bring a peaceful retirement either, there’s only fight after fight to look forward to, and the most relaxing job you might end up with in Githyanki society is becoming a tutor to the younger generations. Which is hardly a peaceful role to take. The entire reliance on strength is such a parallel to eugenics - the theory that those who are disabled or “flawed” are not worthy of surviving, that if you do not provide anything to society that you do not have a place within it. It goes without saying that it’s deeply ableist and completely flawed as a concept. It goes against how even prehistoric human society worked - there is strong evidence that we took care of our wounded, elderly, and disabled. Naturally a fantasy universe is different, and there are of course some humans now who advocate for eugenics like not allowing disabled children to even be born…but that is wrong on every level. There is worth to life beyond what we are able to contribute to society. We also see this in the use of the Zaithisk - the Githyanki are almost all of the complete belief that the device will help them, will cure them of the mindflayer parasite, but the reality is that their leaders were never looking for a cure. The device is a euthanasia machine designed to pull everything of use from their mind and soul before killing them. It’s brutal, but it is just another example of ableism and eugenics in action. It is more efficient to the Githyanki to destroy any perceived weakness than it is to try to help. We can, to a degree, look at it objectively - they are taking away a risk that could very well put far too many lives at risk. They’re in some ways isolating a terminally ill patient before they can become contagious or harmful to others. Perhaps, in some ways, using the Zaithisk to prevent Ceremorphosis is akin to something like rabies, which is incurable once the first visible symptoms appear and can lead to the patient becoming desperate or suffering psychological symptoms that lead them to harming others, so the only option is to isolate them and try to reduce their suffering until the inevitable. 

Strength and Attitudes To Disability

Reliance on strength, and a tenacity to keep fighting, can be very beneficial to a society and lifestyle that are focused on an endless war and surviving it. Being able to push past pain and use every last ounce of that strength and courage can be the difference between life and death in a battle…but not everything is a battle, and that same determination can be genuinely detrimental long term. We can see this with Lae’zel being determined to endure the Zaithisk, until (if not convinced otherwise) she is permanently injured by it. But the same tenacity can also be detrimental in other ways, too, particularly when disability is involved. A lot of chronically ill people will easily be able to tell you that whilst an otherwise healthy person might be able to “push past it” and keep doing things when injured or sick with something short term (like doing housework when they have flu, or trying to work when they have an injury causing pain), this cannot work long term. If the condition doesn’t have an end, you cannot keep pushing through it. You can’t just force yourself to get better or be able to do what your body is unable to. Even if you manage one day, you’re making it worse for the days that follow, which will reduce what you can do overall. The best thing most people can do to manage chronic conditions is to pace themselves, ensure they’re working with and around their symptoms rather than against them. There’s a difficulty there to accept any weakness within an individual in Githyanki society - you have to be at your best every day, in every fight, or you might not live to see the next. Pride, honour, and tenacity - they are admirable traits, but might not be compatible with disability.

What We Can Learn From Lae’zel’s Story

I feel like we see the real downsides and brutality of a society that values only strengths and supports eugenics. Even from not helping eggs that take too long to hatch, they’re losing what could be valuable members of society. It’s a difficult one for most of us in the privileged position to be sat here reading (or writing) this piece to compare to real life, given the very real dangers and war that the Githyanki face are quite far removed from our daily experiences, but it is important to recognise that eugenics and ableism are still quite prevalent in our society. This can even come down to some screenings, or selective genetic testing in advanced IVF procedures that eliminate the natural possibility for children to be born with certain conditions and disabilities. Whilst on the surface this might seem “logical” or even “kind” to wish for children to be “healthy” and abled, but that really devalues the lives of disabled people in our society. Disabled people who have found value and worth in their lives, some of whom have contributed immensely to our society. Granted, not all disabled people will be able to change the world or reach lofty goals, but that doesn’t make their lives any less worthy - plenty of abled people do not have a list of incredible achievements either and we don’t suggest that they should never have been given a chance at life in the first place. And that really is what's vital about speaking out during Disability Pride Month.

How we talk to and about disabled people and our society's attitudes to disability can have a huge impact on those lives. We need to recognise the worth in life beyond what each individual can contribute, and know that a society with compassion, support, and care for all of its members is better and stronger overall.

[blackjackkent]

I stole all the food from the Audience Hall since there's finally no one around to stop me. >:) And up we go to Gortash's office!

The whole walk along the ramparts is lined with stun traps and unconscious Steel Watchers; this would have been an absolutely brutal approach if we had tried to do this without going to the Foundry first. Infuriatingly, there is a chest on top of a tower with no immediately obvious way to get to it. Perhaps I'll bring Lae'zel here with her githyanki psionic jump once we get her back.

But... onward to the main event.

Dramatic place you've got up here, Gortash.

The busts are an interestingly varied lot, mostly but not entirely patriars from Baldur's Gate history. The only ones I recognize are Eltan ("Founder of the Flaming Fist. Later history is kinder to him than accounts from his time, which portray him as a cruel and hard-handed mercenary commander.") and, well, Bane himself. ("This is a bust of the god Bane as he first appeared to Gortash in dreams, and was then described to a Rivington sculptor.")

(Please tell me Stoney and Boney got commissioned to make a sculpture of the god of tyranny because that mental image is amusing me. Probably not though because I think they just came in recently with the circus.)

I am, of course, robbing Gortash blind of anything of value in this outer room, mostly silver and bronze dinnerware. Also finding odds and ends of papers detailing the planning phases of Gortash's rise to power (including focus group testing of different populist/xenophobic slogans, which I am finding darkly humorous for some reason).

Not entirely sure what the big rope with the ring on the end (visible in the screenshot above) is about.

On into the next room, and there he is, the man himself:

Hi there, dipshit.

------

Hector has calmed down somewhat after the showdown with Wulbren, but all of his anger and grief over the suffering he has seen inflicted in the last few days are still simmering under the surface, and seeing Gortash, he feels it all starting to bubble up again in his chest.

There you are, you bastard. This ends today. Now.

Gortash just grins casually as they enter, utterly unbothered by their presence. He shoots a look at Karlach, lifts an eyebrow almost playfully.

"It's hard to keep a good woman down, isn't it, Karlach?" he says dryly, and Hector feels his neck prickle with rage at the casual disdain with which the words emerge.

Karlach smiles icily. "I don't know. You managed it for a solid decade." Hector can hear the matching fury in her voice, just below the surface.

You're already a dead man, Enver, Hector thinks. You just haven't realized it yet. If he wants to talk, let him talk; perhaps he'll say something of use. But with each word, he is only digging his own grave further. Sooner or later, the moment will snap... and Gortash will die, and the city will be better for it.

Gortash smirks. "I never meant to harm you, dear," he says nonchalantly, lounging back on his heels. "Merely to help you realize your vast potential."

Flame begins to lick delicately over Karlach's armor, up her neck, through her hair, behind her eyes. "You sent me to the Hells," she growls. "You let Zariel take my heart!" Her voice is cold and steady and Hector feels a flash of pride in her for that - but he can hear the emotion under the surface, too, all the grief for her lost youth that he has come to know intimately over the last few months. "As though *any* of it was yours to give away!"

Gortash clicks his tongue patronizingly. "The greater good, Karlach! Something I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"You feel no regret, do you? All right." Her voice drops an octave, taking on the low, resonant rumble that accompanies her battle rage. "How about *fear* then?"

Gortash tips his head to one side, unflinching, seemingly almost amused. "You can't hurt me. You *need* me. Whether you and your friend--" he flicks a look to Hector and smirks "--realize it or not."

"Do we now?" Karlach snarls.

Say nothing.

Hector doesn't move, just stares down the younger man unblinkingly. As the standoff with Vlaakith was Lae'zel's fight, as the standoff with Aylin was Shadowheart's... this is Karlach's. This is the moment of justice for the woman he loves beyond all measure and he will not do her the disservice of stepping into her path. He will strike with both fists when she is ready, and not before.

But the incandescent rage that is lighting the flame over Karlach's body is reflected in Hector's eyes.

I know what you did to her. And I know what you've done to this city. And you can charm and smile all you want, but it changes nothing.

He can hear Jaheira and Minsc behind him subtly shifting into battle stances - but they take their cues from him and wait.

Gortash shifts slightly in the silence, and perhaps there's the slightest flicker of nervousness, of uncertainty, before the cocky mask slips back into place.

"I'm sorry you feel wronged by how things ended between us all those years ago," he tells Karlach dismissively. "But now we must look to the future."

Karlach's jaw sets. "You make it sound like we were lovers," she answers, equally disdainful. "Or friends. But that wasn't it. I trusted you. I respected you! It was my job to protect you, and that's what I did!"

The pain in her voice is unhidden now - the betrayal and the loss.

"I was so YOUNG," she says, and deep under the cold anger, Hector can hear the wail of grief, of a not-quite-child torn from her parents and her life and thrown into utter brutality. "I didn't recognize evil when I saw it. When you turned on me, I was too dumbstruck to realize what was happening. No way he'd hurt me, I thought..."

She trails off, and her eyes narrow. "You betrayed me for reasons I still don't quite understand. But I suppose evil has no real cause. It just is."

The flames surge upwards, the anger taking control, the need for revenge displacing everything else. "Until it ISN'T!"

Gortash backpedals with a sudden flash of alarm. "You utter brat," he snaps, as if chastising a disobedient puppy. "You're going to burn this place down!"

"GOOD!" Karlach roars, and it echoes into the room's high ceilings, rattling the rafters.

For the first time since Dammon's repairs she is burning too hot to be touched; Hector can feel the bubble of superheated air around her, pressing him back from her as it hasn't since Last Light. And yet he feels a smile tug at his lips, a sort of fierce joy and pride in her in this moment of crisis.

You are stronger than he is, stronger than I am, stronger than any of us. Kill him, end this, and I will be with you for every blow.

"Say goodbye, Gortash," he says, turning shoulder to shoulder with her and staring the man down, his voice deathly soft.

Gortash's eyes widen, and now for the first time there is clear fear in his expression. "No-- you have to stop her! Do it now!"

If he has anything else to say, any gestures of bravado or superiority or cruelty, he doesn't get the chance, as Hector's fists and Karlach's blade swing out at him at once and he stumbles backwards out of the way.

[0ccuria]

not-so-nice asks for qi'zyr'ra - break, desire, nightmare

OC Asks: not so nice edition! I'm open for more!

BREAK: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

It would take a lot to actually break her psyche. She didn't spend all those years learning and meditating to find balance within her mind and self for nothing.

She had gone through so much on Toril. Seen so many horrific things that would break anyone. Yet she had been able to steel her mind and carry forward, as she always had.

But she had also gained something that gave her a new drive in life, a purpose to keep going--the family she had created with Halsin and the orphans. She never thought she'd care for a bunch of children on some random realm, yet through Halsin, she had learned patience and the importance and joys of nurturing new life.

Qi had fallen in love with the slow pace this new life had offered. She finally found the place she belongs. If anything were to threaten or tear it down, I think she'd finally reach an actual breaking point. To lose everything she had built from the ground up in a previously cursed land with the one she harbors the most love and respect she's ever had for... it would be extremely devastating, to say the least.

There's no telling what she'd do in response, but it would not be pretty. She may just lose herself to a path of insatiable bloodlust.

DESIRE: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

For her people to knock it the fuck off. The Githyanki, Githzerai, Sha'sal Khou... all of the factions that have splintered off.

Although she had abandoned her Sha'sal Khou family, she still believes in their cause to some degree. She only wishes the leaders on top would stop trying to take control for themselves.

She wants unification of her people more than anything, and she sees hope and progress in Lae'zel--a Githyanki she had only seen as helpless before. But if she was able to swallow her pride and change her views, then maybe the Gith aren't so lost after all.

NIGHTMARE: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

It's a recent event for her, but I think abandoning the crew that took her in, when she needed freedom the most, during the Ghaik attack on Crèche K'liir would start to finally catch up to her.

So consumed by her own agenda at the time, that she didn't consider the lasting aftermath.

Images of her brothers and sisters being slaughtered and taken as illithid thralls drill their way into her sleeping mind. As she's climbing onto the fated Nautiloid, she locks eyes with her Kith'rak, frozen on the docks, staring--seething--at her amidst the chaos in such disbelief of her actions (or lack thereof) while screaming her name, staining it with "hshar'lak" and "is'tark" with such a seering poison on his tongue that she could feel the sting on her fresh cuts just long enough before he, too, is cut down.

No one had held more trust--more love--for her than he did, all to receive a knife to his back for all that he had given her.

At the time, she was willing to do anything to be free--including betrayal. But that had come to prove as such a moral failure on her character that it began to haunt her dreams.

It's difficult to process and therefore difficult to tell others up front. Although she doesn't necessarily need to, considering the tadpoles. Unfortunately, they reveal this secret to those Qi connects with. She doesn't regret leaving, for all that it's worth. She's glad that she is her own person now. But she wishes it had been under different circumstances--that it wasn't the last thing her Kith'rak witnessed before being taken.