#girls fight with the art of guilt trip don't @ me

[zoe-oneesama]

They’ll destroy you from within if you’re not vigilant.

Episode 46 Part 7

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Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5

Ep 41, Ep 42, Ep 43, Ep 44, Ep 45, Ep 47

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[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2

snippet 21: Danny is Bruce Wayne's Clone and--

Star, with the rest of the A-List girls: alright ladies! it's time for our quarterly 'cutest boys' list! Now I'll get straight to the point, in our number one spot is--

All girls, in unison: Danny Fenton

Star, writing it down on a whiteboard: and for our number two spot--

---------- Snippet 22: clone meet clone

Ellie, dramatically: Danny!

Danny, equally dramatic: Ellie!

Ellie, pushing past him and looking around: where is he! i wanna see the little guy!

Damian, with a sword, brandishing it dangerously: *in arabic* don't come any closer, stay back!

Danny, wrapping an arm around Ellie's waist and pulling her back: woah, woah - he's still adjusting to everything

Danny, turning towards Damian with his google translate open: [please don't stab her. this is Ellie my clone.]

Damian, lowering his sword in disbelief: 'there's MORE of you?

-------------- Snippet 23: Ellie has the same epiphany as Danny

Ellie:...hey Danny

Danny, pouring over his arabic book: hm

Ellie: since I'm your clone, and you're a clone of Bruce Wayne, and Damian is a clone of Damian Wayne, does that technically mean I'm his mom - uh. dad-mom?

Danny:

Ellie:...its a fair question

Danny: .....*deep sigh* you're his cousin until further notice.

------------ Snippet 24: wait for me ii (hadestown, live vers.)

(i'm not sure of the context, but i've been thinking of Danny saying this to Damian during a serious moment for days. the snippet title is the song that the dialogue below is from)

Danny, fixing up Damian's wraith suit: the meanest dog you'll ever meet

Danny, zipping up damian's jacket: it ain't the hound dog in the street. he bares some teeth and tears some skin, but brother,

Danny, adjusting Damian's gloves, pausing to look him in the eye: that's the worst of him.

Danny, he holds a finger up to Damian's eyes and points it at him: the dog you really got to dread, is the one that howls inside your head

Danny, grabbing damian's mask and smoothing it over his eyes: it's him whose howling drives men mad, and a mind to its undoing

------------ Snippet 25: Danny is Bruce Wayne's clone-- (Battinson Vers*)

Ember, in the middle of a fight with Phantom + Wraith:

Ember, knocks off Phantom's mask for the first time: lets see what ugly mug you're really hiding under there, Phantom--

Phantom: *the wettest, most pathetic looking pretty boy on the planet*

Ember:

Phantom, dryly: what, did your mic die out or something? all that caterwauling finally make you lose your voice

Wraith, unsheathing his sword: *vibrating with baby brother rage bc he knows EXACTLy why Ember is silent*

----------- Snippet 26: Damian is finally starting to play nice :)

Dany: hey... guys.... whatcha doing

Damian, hanging out with Sam: Me and Manson are plotting ways to crush the Mayor's plan to cut budget funding for the city parks and cut down the native trees

Danny: oh, i see.... is this safe?

Sam: probably

Danny: hm.

------------- Snippet 27: digging up cold case

Danny: ....if Damian is out with Sam tonight with their plot against the mayor....

Danny, turning towards his desk: then that means I can work some more on Mrs. Witherbury's murder case that she asked me to solve without Dames guilt-tripping me into bed :)

Danny, settling down at his desk with a thermos full of coffee: i'm glad sam and damian are finally getting along

--------- Snippet 28: sparring

Damian, frowning: your reflexes are incredible but your combat is downright awful, brother. it's truly a miracle i didn't skewer you upon our first meeting

Danny, got his ass kicked by his 7yo brother: *groaning in pain* not everyone has super secret assassin training, Damian. And I don't really have time to actually practice anything.

Damian: Mrs. Fenton knows martial arts and her form is proficient enough, I'm sure she would be delighted to teach you if you asked. I will join since I need to keep my skills sharp and my training was unfinished when I arrived here.

-------- Snippet 29: daytime surprise

Phantom, fighting Skulker in broad daylight: *under his breath* at least Lancer's english test will get canceled for this...

Phantom, dodging a blast from Skulker: *in ASL, furious* don't you have anything better to do, you fuck!?

Skulker: foolish ghost child, speak! I know you're capable of it - speak before you lose the ability to

Phantom: *flips him off instead*

Wraith, sending back a ecto-blast with his sword: please pay attention, phantom

Phantom, doubletaking: *in a hissed whisper* what are you doing here!? it's a school day, you should be at school!

Wraith: Tt. If the boot fits.

------------ Snippet 30: guilt

Danny with his head on his desk, his elbows propped up as he massages his hands: hn

Damian, lurking to the side with a guilty look on his face:

Damian: can i....

Danny, silently holding his hand out to Damian: hrm

Damian, immediately taking it and doing the massages + finger exercises: ...im sorry

Danny: hm... I forgive you

[bubbleteycosplay]

What ifs Sigyn's stories

Part 27

So many different universes, so many different possibilities. And in some loves Sigyn and their different stories. Pictures and brief information have been written about some of these possibilities.

But what is her full story, we don't know. But we can spin them further in our thoughts ^^

The whole project here serves to show the possibilities and potential that Sigyn would have had within the Marvel Universe. How she could have been reintroduced, her story made new and more exciting. #JusticeForSigyn stands for creating Sigyn content because Marvel doesn't give us any.

Inspired by @fauna-and-mythos @dailylogyn @dank-art @jonquilclegane @sigynoffidelity @sigynthevictorious @thewitchysystem @shenanigans-and-imagines @timeladyjamie @therese-lokidottir @puckwritesstuff @sigynappreciation @sigyn-obsessed @ellecaterina @roruna

You will love me (AU)

Everything is going well for veterinarian Loki Odinson: he is successful in his career and has just gotten engaged to the beautiful Amora. But Loki catches Amora with his older brother Thor at his best friend's wedding. He breaks off the engagement and throws Amora out of his apartment that night. He then breaks off contact with both of them. He moves away and starts a new life.

12 years later: Loki kept his vow, he never saw Amora or Thor again. He has been married to Sigyn for 6 years and they both have two three-year-old sons and the happiness couldn't be better about the impending birth of their daughter. But then Loki's mother Frigga dies and leaves a will that forces Loki to reconnect with his brother. At the same time, he receives anonymous messages claiming that he killed Amora on the night of the wedding. Loki investigates and finds that Amora has actually disappeared since then. And then events come to a head: In a forest near his parents' house, a suitcase containing women's clothing is found, which also contains Amora's identity card. And not far away lies a corpse. And he is arrested as the suspected perpetrator. Sigyn, who believes in her husband's guilt, takes on the investigation herself.

You only love twice

Five years ago, Sigyn had to learn the hard way what happens when you break the rules. She has lost everything. The trust of her husband Theoric. The man she had loved since childhood. And quickly her life. Love is a weakness that she can never afford again!

When offered a chance at redemption, the seductive Vanahnin is determined to complete her task: tracking down a dangerous assassin, a mysterious killer who is after the queen, her own mother, whose identity seems to be constantly changing.

But when Sigyn's investigations lead her into a trap, she is saved by a shadowy figure.

As a man with few memories, Loki only knows that Sigyn is the key to getting to Frayer, and he wants revenge no matter what the price. But a kiss ignites the unbroken passion between them and he can't bring himself to use her.

Can Loki trust her? Or is history doomed to fail? Because it soon becomes clear that Frayer may have discovered that Loki and Sigyn have become closer... and then her own daughter will be in the line of fire.

In the witch's ice garden

Sigyn wakes up in a castle in Jotunheim that is not her home. Nevertheless, a little boy she doesn't know claims to be her sons. And then there's the creepy guy Loki who pretends to be a husband...

Sigyn actually wanted to go on a forest trip with her sisters - but she ends up in Jotunheim, where a scenario from a horror shocker awaits her... A woman she doesn't know who is trying to kill her and her two little boys. To find out the truth, Sigyn must fight for her life in a deadly game. Which is stronger? Her conscience or her survival instinct?

The girl that fell from the sky (AU)

Sigyn has no time for love, especially not in winter. During the day, the former racing runner works as a ski instructor, and in the evenings she helps out at her parents' Pension Schneeglöckchen. When she gets to know the new long-term tenant, her well-rehearsed routine, like her heart, is thrown out of sync. Most women would love to do the attractive doctor's bidding, but Sigyn doesn't even think about it.

And him? The Christmas season is approaching, and Loki has only one wish: that the time of contemplation and cookie baking passes by as quickly as possible. The assignment to work as a doctor in a ski resort is therefore very convenient for him. Luckily, the guesthouse where he stays turns out to be a kitsch-free zone. But even the first meeting with the quick-witted daughter of the house causes the hermit to sweat profusely, despite the frosty temperatures...

Red Queen

This is a universe divided by blood - red or silver.

The Reds are commoners ruled by a Silver Elite who have god-like superpowers. And for Sigyn, a normal red girl from the impoverished Vanaheim, it seems as if nothing will ever change.

Until she comes to Asgard to start working in the palace. Here, surrounded by the highest beings in the universe she hates most, Sigyn discovers that despite her red blood, she has a deadly power of her own. One that threatens to destroy the balance of power.

Fearing Sigyn's potential, Frigga hides her from public view and declares her the long-lost Princess of Vanaheims, now engaged to one of her sons. Although Sigyn knows that a single misstep would mean her death, she quietly works to help the Red Guard, a militant resistance group, and overthrow the Asgard regime.

But this is a world full of betrayal and lies, and Sigyn has begun a dangerous dance - Red against Silver, Prince against Prince, and Sigyn against her own heart...

A sweet secret for dessert

Sigyn is a confident party girl and financially independent thanks to her lucrative divorce. But since she was attacked by unknown perpetrators and seriously injured, her interests have shifted: instead of dancing in the club, the beauty can now be seen doing martial arts, instead of hot dates, sweaty strength training is on the program. Sigyn never wants to be at the mercy of a man again.

When Loki first sees him, he is immediately mesmerized by her strength and beauty. He's never wanted a woman as badly as she does. He needs a lot of patience to find his way to Sigyn Herzen, but he doesn't give up. And Signyn? She definitely doesn't want a new relationship, but she can't deny that she finds Loki more than a little hot. But she doesn't know if she can really trust him, and when the dangerous shadows of the past catch up with her, she searches for answers. Alone...

The magic of the snake

Loki comes to Vanaheim to call on the tribal chiefs of Vanaheim to join the army in a campaign planned by Father, the King of Asgard. When he sees Sigyn, he wants to take her with him as his lover.

However, Sigyn is reluctant and insists on a competition. She takes on Loki herself, defeats him and embarrasses him in front of the entire tribe. Loki is not satisfied with this, he seeks revenge. He wants to have the young Sigyn as a slave and dominate her. But these are not the only adventures Sigyn has to go through.

The night you left

It only takes a moment to unravel a perfect life...

When Sigyn's fiancé disappears without a trace the night after her marriage proposal, her life is turned upside down. But has Loki abandoned her or is he in danger?

As Sigyn desperately searches for answers, it quickly becomes clear that Loki was not the easy-going man she thought she knew. And as she uncovers a hidden tragedy, she realizes a terrible truth: that you can run away from your past - but your secrets will always catch up with you...

Daughter of the Gardens

Sigyn has had a special relationship with plants throughout her life.

Trees thrive near them. Her fruit becomes larger and riper than Frigga observes her niece's talent with great joy, because the flowers in her garden bloom long before their time.

But the reason for all these miracles is that Sigyn is Iduna's daughter. And Iduna protects Asgard Gardens from any intruders. But Sigyn has nightmares that haven't plagued her for 3 years now. And when Loki suddenly appears, she is convinced that he is the cause of her nightmares.

She is convinced that Loki will be the one responsible not only for Asgard but also for her mother's future death.

She doesn't know if it's a race against time or just her imagination. But Sigyn is ready to face this challenge and realizes that an unknown magic lies dormant within her. A magic that far surpasses that of all others. Only Loki recognizes her potential and is determined to exploit it for himself.

A queen without title and throne

As a woman, Sigyn doesn't have many options after the death of her father, the clan leader of the Red Dwarfs. The world she lives in is a dangerous place where women only rule through marriage. Since she is still far too young to get married, she automatically loses her claim to the throne and is sent to her mother's home world of Vanaheim, where she is supposed to live. Her uncle doesn't know what to do with her, so he takes care of her further education from then on. So that one day she can support her cousin in his government obligations. So a lonely life begins for the young girl, behind high palace walls. But these are not the only high walls that surround them, even Vanaheim's capital is surrounded by high walls in which the people have to live, a promise of security. But Sigyn's rebellious heart doesn't long for adventure. And after her best friend: Theoric, the son of a Absant from Asgard.

Part 28 is in progress ^^

Here you can find the last part

[doubledyke]

dissociatED ch. 2

the girls (edd and eddy) are no longer fighting

“Greetings! You’ve reached Eddward. Unfortunately, I’m unable to take your call at the moment. If you will, please leave a brief message with your name, and telephone number, and I’ll return your call as soon at my earliest convenience. Thank you!”

Eddy mocked the nasally voice under his breath after hanging up and tossing the phone onto the foot of his bed. It was bad enough that he would yet again be the one admitting defeat in another of their standoffs. Now he had to wait for a call back just to apologize? Restless with frustration, he hopped off his bed and paced around his bedroom as if to follow his train of thought.

He’s ignoring me. He’s gotta be! His phone’s literally attached to his hip with that tacky ass belt holster. He shuddered to think of the gauche accessory.

Maybe Ed’s sixth sense was wrong and he’d finally fucked it up for real this time. The only logical explanation was that Double Dee had reached his threshold for Eddy’s bullshit once and for all and would never forgive him. One dickish remark too many. And the last one was a doozy.

-

“So you’re not coming?” The breath hitched in Eddy’s throat released as a scoff.

“Eddy, if you'd-”

“Y'know, I only agreed to go cuz you looked like you were gonna fucking cry when I said I didn’t want to. Here I was, willing to embarrass myself for you and you’re gonna flake?” He scowled at the shiny plastic garment bag hanging from the frame of his closet.

Edd rolled his eyes at the guilt trip. He looked down at his notepad where ‘sorry’ was scrawled several times in a hodgepodge of print and cursive.

"Due to a… discrepancy in scheduling, I've had to make a few discommodious adjustments to a-accommodate an important - mandatory, in fact - meeting of the associated student body… Believe you me, if there was a way I could be there, I would.” Edd should have left his sputtering at that, but felt compelled to inject additional awkwardness. “Yessiree. Front row." His teeth scraped his lip while he hoped against hope that his lousy excuse would be accepted with minimal scrutiny.

"You lie like a cheap rug! If you cared so much, you'd find a way to be here."

Edd’s cheeks were burning. Though he considered himself to be fairly skilled in the art of prevarication, he should have known better than to think he’d get one over on Eddy “Spinner of Yarns” McGee.

"Y-You don't understand," he choked. Citing the enervating anxiety he felt about venturing back to Peach Creek sounded like even more of a cop out in his head than the nonexistent meeting. In all truth, the mere thought of taking in its familiar sights, sounds and smells for an entire day worsened his chronic shortness of breath. Not to mention the hours-long trip just to get there. Before he could find the words, a gruff voice interjected.

"Forget it, you're doin' me a favor. Just wish you'd told me before I rented the fuckin' robe." he bluffed, knowing full well his parents weren't going to let him skip commencement after they paid for his cap and gown. "And I don't get why you feel the need to lie. You know you suck at it.”

"Yes well," Edd cleared his throat before making another attempt to explain. "Your and Ed’s educational milestone is important to me, Eddy. Unfortunately, I have other obligations." His unintentionally stony tone prompted a softening of his next words. "I do hope you'll still attend. Earning a high school diploma is quite an achievement for you."

"For me? What the hell’s that s'posed to mean?!"

"I meant nothing by it! Though I'm sure you'd agree, things were a bit touch and go for a while there." Eddy remained silent during his friend's dramatic pause.

His trudge to the educational finish line had indeed been a struggle, which was why he was so hurt by Edd ditching. Their off and on tutoring sessions over the years were the only reason he maintained a solid 2.3 GPA. Apparently that all meant nothing now.

"I’m very proud of you, Eddy."

"Uh-huh. Not proud enough, apparently." The cantankerous little cad couldn't help it. If there was a snide remark to be made, his soul wouldn’t rest until he was the one to make it. "All that belly achin’ you do about your parents - now look at you! You’re acting just like ‘em."

Edd's wide eyes blinked incredulously at such an emotional sucker punch. They’d exchanged their fair share of injurious insults across years of tumultuous friendship, but their tacit agreement not to exploit certain vulnerabilities had never been breached. During even their worst tiffs, he wouldn’t have dreamed of such a low blow from someone who claimed to be his best friend.

Eddy's knee bounced furiously while he waited for a response to his odious words that hung like Ed’s B.O.. It was a shitty thing to say, sure, but what kind of jerk misses their buddy’s graduation? As far as he was concerned, he was the real victim here. So he doubled down.

“You can tell Ed too, cuz I’m not in the mood for the waterworks.”

Rustling was heard on the other line before the call disconnected.

-

Edd froze with his hand gripping the front door knob of his shared apartment. The deadbolt clicked with the turning key, then the door gave way to his weary shoulder. He was still adjusting to the culture shock of seeing how people lived when they didn’t have a pathological need for order. Living with strangers - living with anyone was taking Edd much longer to get used to than expected.

Indignation boiled his insides while he stood eyeing the open floor plan from the doormat. As he stepped inside, he kicked the folded corner of an area rug back, and picked up a couple of throw pillows from the middle of the floor. Loose filler paper spilled from the open pocket of a backpack tossed on the couch. He brought his hands up to his temples to serve as blinders to the squalor as he continued toward the hall.

Being the friendly folks they were, his roommates frequently reminded him that he was in fact allowed to come out of his room. Edd always politely declined, confounded by the concept of relaxing in a room that hadn’t been dusted in recent memory. At this point, it was clear that his colleagues were less than receptive to his sermons on the advantages of sanitization, organization and minimalism. Now he just did his best to ignore the unvacuumed floors, the sinkful of dishes and clutter collecting dust on every flat surface. It was just his luck to be housed with two people whose filth gave Ed a run for his money. A lineup of empty soda cans was swiped off the kitchen table by the messenger bag jutting from Edd’s hip as he zipped by. He startled at the noise, but stuck to his resolution to no longer clean up after capable adults.

The door of his austere refuge opened to cool, purified air, subtly scented with lavender from a reed diffuser. He entered just far enough to close the door and hang his bag and windbreaker from the hook on the back. The mattress protector and sheets crinkled as he plopped onto the twin bed and plucked his hat off for a vigorous massage of his tender scalp. As he folded over and tugged at his double knotted shoelaces, he glanced up and saw the phone he’d left on his desk all day.

He first realized it was missing during mid-morning breakfast with his ESL conversation partner. Mostly unbothered, since incoming phone calls were a rarity these days, it slipped his mind before he even finished his crepes. It wasn’t until early evening that he was reminded of its absence when his steel guitar tutee was ten, then twenty minutes late for their lesson. He attributed the absence to end-of-summer blues, but just in case, he tucked his shoes off to the side and grabbed the little nylon pouch. His heart sank when he flipped the screen up and saw that he’d missed six calls from one of the few numbers he had saved.

"Hello?"

"Eddy? I-I'm so sorry, I… I was in a rush as usual and forgot my cell phone at home this morning. Is everything okay?" While waiting for an answer, he’d been recounting a list of worst case scenarios and going over the most logical reaction for each.

"Aye, Sockhead! Long time no talk?" He cringed at the poor attempt at sounding more composed than he felt. "Uh, how are ya?"

"I’m returning your call. Well, calls.” Edd’s concern quickly gave way to snark once he caught his friend's signature cheeky tone. "How are you?"

"Can't complain. Well I could, but who wants to hear it, amirite?"

Several seconds passed before Edd responded to the hackneyed quip.

"Seems I'm not the only one with a tendency to mirror their parents."

For once, didn't take long for Edd to get to the point. Eddy deflated like a balloon. At least with the elephant acknowledged he could cut the crap.

"Look, I didn't mean what I said, okay?" His voice was a low mumble. "I was just frustrated with the whole… thing. If it's any constellation, my folks made me go anyway."

"Oh yes, I feel quite consoled, Eddy." The corners of his mouth tightened. "I do appreciate the effort it must have taken you to form something adjacent to an apology.”

"Right…" Eddy responded, then waited for the "but".

"After some reflection, however, I realized that there may have been some merit to your callous comment." Edd recrossed his legs and leaned back in his ergonomic office chair. "I told you I'd be there cheering you on when you advanced this next phase of life. And I wasn't.” His ears tingled with imminent lacrimation. “For that, I sincerely apologize."

Eddy was used to his friend's frequent blubbering by now, but his chest still tightened when Edd’s voice cracked. Luckily, befriending a crybaby was great practice for offering comfort in moments like these.

"Hey, c'mon. You're nothin' like those tight asses. Not with the, like, important stuff." He still wasn’t very good at it. “'Sides, I still had Ed! Oh man, you shoulda seen it! He tripped over his own dumb feet twice on his way up to the stage." A hearty laugh cut through the tension. “I hope someone was recording! Fuckin’ idiot.”

"Yes, he told me as much.” Edd sniffled and let out a weak laugh. “In fact, he gave me quite the rundown for most of your past academic year. Including the so-called senior prank you hoped to pull." A sneaking smile accentuated his playful scorn.

"Me? A prank?" Eddy gasped and clutched his proverbial pearls. "It was a good one, huh?"

"Mmm, from what I could gather during his breathless retelling, you hoped to replace each student's photo in the yearbook with your own portrait?" Edd's smirk grew. "Sounds less like a prank and more a manifestation of unchecked narcissism."

"I thought it was funny. If that girlfriend of yours would’ve played along it would've been a scream." Eddy replied flatly. "I swear she used her piddly authority as head of the yearbook club to unfairly target me. What’d I ever do to her?” He gestured wildly alone in his room. “She wouldn't even approve my quote! Instead, she put some mealy-mouthed bullshit about the value of education. You need to get a handle on her.”

Edd momentarily ignored the bulk of the erroneous ravings and gave in to curiosity about what kind of trouble Eddy had been causing in his absence.

"Dare I ask just what vile excerpt you insisted be printed below your definitive school photo? The photo, mind you, that generations of our fellow alumni will undoubtedly come across?" Edd closed his eyes as innumerable offensive possibilities raced through his mind.

"It was gonna be that old Sinatra quote. Y’know, 'The best revenge is massive success.’ But oh no, little miss Steinem said it'd be a cold day in hell before a misogynist was commemorated in her precious book. Hell, I don't even care for the guy, but it's a good quote."

"That's it? Funny, I imagined something far more…blue. Although, she does have a point about the normalization of mid-century machismo. I'd think you of all people would be sympathetic to her cause."

Eddy paused to figure out what Edd meant.

"By the way, Nazz and I separated shortly before your class graduation. I was going to tell you when we last spoke but-"

"Woah, woah, woah, hang on! What’d she write ya a Dear John letter?"

A crackling laugh sent Edd recoiling from the phone’s speaker. Eddy made no effort to downplay his glee at the news he'd been waiting to hear for nearly a year.

"What happened, didja sprout a few chest hairs and scare her off?"

Edd held his matter-of-fact reply until the snickering ceased.

"The hardships of maintaining a long distance relationship proved too much to abide, I'm afraid. I think we had an inkling that our dalliance was doomed to dereliction, but it certainly was fun while it lasted."

"The fuck does that mean? You dumped her?"

"I like to think of it as mutual, Eddy. We came to realize that we were simply two ships passing in the night. Alas, separated by the briny tides of the vast ocean of inconstancy we call life."

"Yeah, she dumped ya. And now I see why, ew!"

"Oh, and I suppose women are just lining up to jump into that unmade bed of yours?" Edd snorted.

"Uh, duh! They’re linin’ the block just for the chance. Had to install a turnstile for chrissake!" He smiled when Edd's scoff morphed into a genuine laugh.

"Why, it’s a wonder you found the time to call me. I’m flattered.”

“Yeah well, even Lothario needs a breather from time to time.” Eddy flipped over on the bed to lay on his stomach. “What about you? How's the single life treatin' ya? You must be bumpin' uglies with a different chick every night, huh?"

Edd rolled his eyes at the notably accusatory tone and accompanying vulgar image.

"Please. If I didn't know any better, I’d think I had unwittingly signed a vow of celibacy along with the lease for my off-campus apartment." Edd stood from his chair and stretched with a drawn out groan, then took the three short steps back to his outgrown bed. "Not that I've had the time, nor energy for such extracurricular activities, given my shortsightedness in arranging my summer schedule."

Relief washed over Eddy.

"What, you mean to tell me you ain't goin' to the keggers at Alpha Beta Soup every weekend?" They both chuckled at the absurd idea.

"Tempting as it may be to attend a gathering of belligerent, red-faced bloviators, where the guest of honor is a barrel of Bud Light - I think I'll pass."

"You gotta make time for yourself or you'll go nuts, Dee. What've you been doing all break then?"

"Well, I just finished my final class of the summer… Oh, and I’ve started tutoring again.” Exhaustion stopped him from elaborating. “Now, I’m waffling.”

"About what?"

"Well, I'd really like to see you and Ed before classes commence in a few weeks. I'm just not sure…"

"Not sure?" Eddy's forehead scrunched. "I'm- er, Ed's practically dysfunctional without ya. More than usual, that is."

"Oh good lord, please tell me he's still employed?" Edd's subconscious foot shaking paused while awaiting an answer.

"Yeah, yeah he's still at the plant." Eddy heard a faint exclamation of relief from his friend. "Him and May are still mushy as ever, yadda yadda yadda. I can tell he's missin’ ya though."

"It's not that I don't want to see you! I'm just once again letting worry cloud my better judgment." Edd looked down at the throbbing, red thumb he'd been mindlessly picking at since before their call started. "I'm not even sure where I'd stay if I did come to visit."

There was a brief silence while Eddy's brain caught up to his friend's words. He'd been stuck on the irony of Edd worrying about Ed's job, when in reality he was the one who'd recently nearly wrecked his car looking for "Help Wanted" signs.

"Well, depending on when you wanna come, my folks are takin' their uh… 'couples' cruise' in like, a week. You could stay at my place."

Edd's face lit up at his friend's offer.

"Oh, Eddy, that would be fantastic! And what convenient timing… How long will they be away?"

"Mom said they're leaving for the airport Tuesday morning, but I'll have to find out when they're comin' back. It's usually like a week."

"Excellent!" Edd squeaked excitedly. "As soon as you find out I'll buy my bus ticket, and-"

"Bus?!" Eddy sat up. "You really think you'd survive a ride on the Freakshow Express? Get real! I'll drive it. Just gimme the address."

"Honestly, Eddy, the bus isn't that bad. I'm of the opinion that having to endure a few eccentrics is a small price to pay for ecologically sustainable transportation."

"I want to come get you." He was a little embarrassed by how intense he suddenly sounded. His heart rate picked up. An eyebrow arched beneath Edd's hat.

"Have you been adhering to your vehicle's maintenance schedule?"

"You can't help yourself, can you?" Eddy laughed and shook his head. "My car's fine. I just got the brake pads replaced, and I think they changed the oil. Might've been the wiper fluid... I dunno. How bout I bring ya the receipt and you can write your analysis on the way back?"

"Oh, I'm sorry that I'm not jumping at the opportunity to be stranded on some rural back road with no phone service, and none of the tools required to correct whatever mechanical misfortune undoubtedly befalls us given our seemingly supernatural bad luck. Do you even have a roadside emergency kit? Preferably including road flares?"

"I still have the one you gave me! You act like we're goin' to Canada or something. It's a few hundred miles. I got cables, a spare, a jack, and I'll wear my cut offs in case we need to flag down some meathead to do the grunt work."

Edd's giggling tapered with a sigh.

"In that case, I look forward to seeing you, Eddy."

"I bet you do." He teased, making Edd redden. "Nah, I'm excited to see you too. Maybe we could, uh... get some lunch or somethin' while we're out there." It was a benign suggestion, but heightened excitement made it seem risky.

"I'd like that." Edd's calm voice masked the fact that he was screaming internally. No, he wouldn't read to much into his friend's words. He'd only end up hurt again. Instead, he read his watch. "I hate to cut our conversation short, Eddy, but I've got to start my nighttime routine."

As kids, they'd yap on the phone for hours with no lull until one or both of them fell asleep clutching the receiver. Eddy found himself grinning like an idiot at the not-so-distant memories. After such a long stretch of not speaking, it was difficult to say goodbye.

"Alright, have fun scrubbing your elbows or whatever it is you do."

"You know I will!"

"I'll let you know what my mom says. I'll text you!"

"Sounds great. Good-"

"Don't forget your phone!"

"I'll clip it to my belt tonight."

"'You better."

"Good night, Eddy."

"Night, Dee."

[harpoonlover00]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I don't see you more

I'm sorry that the four minutes where you see your son could feel like a chore

Sis', I'm sorry I'm your kin

Sorry we ain't close as we should've been

Sorry to my old friends

The stories we coulda wrote if our egos didn't take the pen

Sorry to the freaks I led on (nah, for real, I'm sorry)

Who thought their life was gonna change 'cause I gave 'em head on

But instead, I sped off, yeah, I know I'm dead wrong

Sorry to the guys I had to hide

Sorry to the girls I had to lie to

Who ain't need to know if I was by the lake switchin' tides, too

Anyway, I don't wanna talk

Sorry if you gotta dig for info I don't wanna give

So you stalk, make up fibs

Just to talk 'bout my private life 'cause you weird (uh)

Met that girl this year (but), that's none ya biz

Give enough with my art, know your place

My personal space, y'all don't need to to be a part

I'm sorry I don't wanna link (I don't wanna link)

And small talk over dinner, I don't even drink

Can't guilt trip me, I'm ice cold, roller rink

Nigga-nigga-nigga, read the room

Don't assume niggas is cool

Stay in your pocket, this is pool

Blah, blah, blah, blah 'bout trauma

You ain't special, everybody got problems, uh

Sorry I'm not empathetic

Sorry you think I'm pathetic

Sorry I don't wanna bro down, sorry I don't know your pronouns

I don't mean no disrespect, but, damn, we just met, calm the fuck down

Oh, I'm out of touch and I'm a jerk?

A bank account could never match my worth (that nigga gettin' money, he a dick now)

Sorry Mother Earth, pollutin' air with chemicals and dirt

These cars ain't gonna buy and drive theyselves

What the hell you think I work for?

Not to not explore and stay the same

Sorry to the fans who say I changed, 'cause I did

Sorry you don't know me on a personal level to pinpoint what it is

Sorry to my ancestors (I'm so sorry), I know I'm supposed to fight (I know)

But this ice shinin' brighter than a black man's plight, I'ma make it right

In the meantime, I'll give some advice while these blood diamonds gettin' cleaned off

Nigga, fuck the price, spend it then, then again

I can't save niggas, I'm not Superman, but I could try

I'm sorry I'm pretentious

Sorry that the talent, knowledge, passion isn't missin'

Sorry when I talk my shit and I could back it up with confidence

It get you niggas trippin', man

Fuck the numbers, fuck a hook

You put me on a stage and I'll show you the difference

Let me see y'all hit a stage (no, y'all can't do it)

Let me see y'all write a page (y'all not gon' do it)

Let me see you make a decision I made

And claim that I don't know about minimum wage or Section 8

Water in the ketchup bottle to stretch when niggas ate

Gettin' pressed by niggas hoppin' gates

Thinkin' it's normal 'cause you ain't supposed to make it past 18

Or escape the Figure 8 cycle

And I promise this is like a diet

I'ma make a way and I did, did

Feel good, work paid off, now we gon' celebrate

But niggas claim you arrogant

When they can't relate to moments of feelin' great

So they aim, duck-duck-duck 'em

Shot right back, buck-buck-buck 'em

Sorry, not sorry (buck 'em, buck 'em)

I got two words, fuck 'em

Okay, cool

And like that

We really mean it this time

I guarantee another era is upon us

So once again, we gone

[gigiinoura]

growing up, there was never a doubt in gigi's mind that her parents didn't want the best for her. even with a broken family so to speak and yolanda soon remarrying after her parents split, it was the perfect family. as she began to form opinions, always one to be outspoken, she noticed that her arguments with her mom seemed to be more frequent. but wasn't that normal? girls rebelled against their mothers and mothers reigned in their daughters. whatever methods yolanda had, her eldest daughter knew that it was from a benevolent place. no matter how annoying, how painfully frustrating it was to be shamed, ridiculed, and denied certain things others had, she understood that it was so she could work hard to not only make it in the industry, but to dominate it. just like her mother had. the outdated said industry and their views of the perfect size. one of the reasons she fell so in love with zayn was because he provided her with something she hadn't been given before - protection. from the moment they met, he was a safety net and she was his biggest fan. even when he hadn't believed in himself, she was always right there to remind him. but their demons were different, dressed differently and colored differently. she didn't have the same fighter spirit zayn had, impulsively going his own way about things. instead, gigi walked her truth more practically. maybe that's why it was harder for him to wrap his head around her loyalty to their family. especially when her mother had suffocated her by the convenient guilt trips about having a "bad day" the moment she broke free and formed an opinion that challenged her method of thinking. this was resentment deeply harbored inside the woman, things she didn't get to conjure up. until now. until this boundary had been broken by zayn, so he could prove a point that maybe her mom was a horrible influence on her and now, their daughter. "z... what do you expect? for her to never see her oma again? you're not being reasonable right now." she rolled her eyes, overtly frustrated by the way he was so fixated on things that simply were not important now. "my mom is extreme, i have always given you that. but she loves us all in the best way she can. khai is three years old.. she's just riding the ponies and doing art with her. that's all that is happening. besides, you know i don't leave her often. i drop her off with you or i take her to shoots with me." she was hopeful to provide assurance. maybe he just needed to know that when she had khai on her time, yolanda's presence wasn't as influential as he thought. "i'll consider it.. but i just don't want to fight. or worse, make you feel uncomfortable in your home." truthfully, gigi wasn't sure if it was a good idea to join them. as much as her heart screamed Y E S in capital letters, her mind was slammed heavy down on the breaks, screeching as the words i'll consider it.. came flying out. she also didn't know... how would it feel to be in a spot that they once shared so many years ago. time was funny that way.

the terse of his question cuts deep as she shakes her head in an attempt to shake off what he's actually speaking aloud. only, she can't. the previous feeling of doubt has risen to uncharted levels as she plays back through everything of that day in her mind. her cutting work short, flying home immediately after she gets her mother's call, zayn's call... bella's. everyone's involvement. the way her mother was just so adamant that the father of her child was dangerous. that he could hurt her next, he could hurt khai. it was like her world had come crumbling down. the joys of co-parenting together, the dream they both shared.. all of it ended up being counterfeit. her mind was desperately trying to catch up to her thoughts as he aired everything out. every conviction. every emotion. every expression. she's taken right back to the evening everything happened and the proclaimed victim is pulling her from the home she shared with her boyfriend. khai's petite legs tightly wrapped around her frame, barely able to wave goodbye -and understandably fussy over it. she has to abandon safety in the form of a father for the night, which would turn into days and then a week. the time that gigi needed to process and decide was best for them. his last question sears through her series of flashbacks, fast acting in bringing her back to him. to the present. she feels overwhelmed. like her entire concept of what a family looks like is tainted. she can lie to herself once again, or she can somehow consider that just maybe he has a point. every time yolanda seemed to flicker with relief when gigi had come over seeking advice, some form of nurturement after a fight with her boyfriend. to her, it had always been a protective mother. but she knows deep down, she wouldn't do that to khai.. she wouldn't ever be happy with the pain of her child. mothers don't do that.. right? "she's not perfect, okay? but who the hell is perfect? tell me one person that you know who is a saint and i'll agree with you right now." she's not ready yet. she can't say it aloud. instead, she snaps back at him finally. her method of assuring him is over. it clearly isn't working.

"how can i possibly be happy with my life when this is where we're at? we can't even call our daughter and end the night there, on a positive note. we have to spend what's left of our evening arguing about someone you hate with every fiber of your being who also happens to be my blood." her words come out sharp. her tone is bitter and she refuses to face him, now gazing at the wall's rather hideous color of beige. who would even dare paint a suite that color anyway? an almost defeated expression is noticed as her focus is recalibrated as she catches him approaching. her throat closing in on her meeting her heart's heavy palpitations. she's not exactly afraid. but widened, deer in the headlights, sea green orbs reflect her true feelings with him so close. the truth is they haven't been this passionate, this radioactive in years. it's overdue, sure, but with that being said, it brings back a palette of emotions. a woman who has experienced child birth without an epidural on a farm in a tub is ironically terrified that it's too late. the same way he said he'd fall to his hands in knees for her, she would do the same for him. but would it make a difference? her throat swallows against the dryness scraping her insides. "i.." has she swallowed her words with that gulp? "z... i truly am so sorry." gigi's guilt is bubbling to the surface and her own hues watering as she is desparately trying to grasp onto everything he has just said. her heart and her mind so disconnected. yet so connected. it's hard to fight feelings, and it's as good as worthless in her mind, because the last thing he wants from her is pity. right? "but you have to know.. please know. that i am not afraid of you." giving in finally to her own vulnerability which seems bold given everything he has just mapped out for her. but she can't help it. a delicate movement to graze the warmly flushed skin of his cheek against her fingers. "please tell me you believe me." a soft whisper dressed in the presence of a beg, and her delicate touch lands her at his mercy, moments away from clinging to the floor beneath him if that is what she needs to do. she swears on everything and everyone that she'll do it.

He felt small in this moment, sitting here on the edge of Gigi’s bed as she stood - the topic heavy with things that they so desperately needed to say to each other, though it’s been years they never got the closure they needed, not really. Zayn was awful with talking about how he felt, often doing the talking through music and whenever he had that chance to talk about it, it just wasn’t the time or place. As a long breath is taken in, Zayn closes his eyes for a moment, calming the thundering of his heart. The talk of trust was kind of amusing to him, given their circumstances. But when it came to Khai, he’d always trust Gigi. He takes another moment, gathering his thoughts before he opens his eyes, hues immediately falling on the blonde as they’ve always done whenever she was around. “Who protected you?” He asks, “Who protected Bella? Who was around to smother that seed of doubt that your mother planted? Who was around to tell you that you can eat whatever the fuck you want? That you can enjoy a slice of your own goddamn birthday cake? That you can play whatever sport you want because it didn’t fucking matter if you were a size two or a size sixteen? I do trust you, so much more than you know Gigi. I know you’ll go to the ends of this Earth for Khai and I love that so fucking much. But – you’re not there right now, who’s protecting Khai from all of that when we’re not around? I don’t want to be this person that keeps bagging on your mum, I really don’t. I hate it, I hate that I have this strong distaste for her, I hate that you’re put in this position because of it. But how do we know for certain that she’s not planting those very seeds into our daughter's mind?” Fear shone in his eyes at the very thought, running a hand along the curve of his jaw. A muscle in his jaw feathers, hands flexing and before he has time to even think it through, he’s already speaking. “Come with. It’s your day anyways, I have a few extra rooms that you can stay in, Khai can have that small sense of normalcy for at least a night.” He worried for Khai’s safety all the time, of course, but he also worried about Gigi’s. He knew Yolanda would never physically hurt her, but words tended to have more of a punch than anything.

“You didn’t?” He asks, a brow lifting as he gives her a second to think about that. Zayn was done feeling small, done feeling like the walls around them were going to cave in in just about any second. It was his turn to stand, walking to the other end of the room and he leaned against the wall, hands resting behind him as his ankles crossed. “That’s exactly it, Gigi. You never made a statement. And I’m not talking about the press, I’m talking about between all of us. You never said anything. I pleaded with you to listen to me, if I didn’t have my dignity intact I would have pleaded on my goddamn knees. Whether you choose to see it or not, you did choose a side. Your silence was loud as fucking day and she fucking revels in that. She has her claws in you so deep that you will never see her wrongdoings. But it’s easy to see my wrongdoings right? I raise my voice, stand my ground and tell her to get out of the house and all she has to do is shed a few tears, throw accusations left and right and I’m the bad guy. It’s all my fault. There can’t possibly be any other way.” The sarcasm thick on his tongue. This was a lot of truth for him, much more than he’s said before - then again he never got the chance. “That’s the thing, Gigi. You shouldn’t have to. I never stood a chance from the beginning.” His jaw flexes as he feels his eyes burn with the tears he would not let shed, “Think about it, really think about it, has she ever been like this with any of your other exes?” A brow lifts in question, head tilted to the side ever so slightly. “I needed you that night. I needed you to stand with me on that, I appreciate that you’re finally standing up for me about it, but the damage is already done. She got what she wanted from the very beginning.” Hues burned into hers for a few seconds before brows pull together, licking his lesser lip over. “Have you ever stopped to think that she might possibly be out to sabotage just about anything that doesn't involve her?”

His dark gaze follows as she circles the room, he caught the little blip in her sentence but she was quick to fix it and Zayn didn’t want to shed more light on it. When it came to them, so long as Yolanda kept whispering the poison she did in Gigi’s ears, there would never be a future for them. Yet, another thing Yolanda took from him. “No, I don’t think that.” He answers honestly, shaking his head. “I want you to be happy too, I’ve always wanted that.” The small truth emits with a small breath. “I don’t want you to pretend.” But what Zayn wanted didn’t really matter anymore, did it? He opens his mouth to object to her causing him pain, but he stalls, and decides against it. She did hurt him, he’d be lying if he said that she didn’t. He knew for a damn fact that he hurt her too, putting her in this position between her mother and him. “Say that again, but slowly.” They have Khai, they did it together. A small scoff leaves his lips, hands coming up to pull at strands that weren’t there as he pushes himself off the wall, nearing Gigi and offering her this small part of vulnerability that he had locked away so securely since that night a couple years ago. “I loved you, so fucking much and you looked me dead in the eyes and actually believed that I would do something like that. Do you know what it’s like to look at the person that you swear you’re going to marry one day only to see doubt in their eyes? See fear? Fear not just for them, but fear for their daughter? Or what it's like to hear said daughter screaming crying because her safety and peace was invaded and you can't do a damn thing about it because every time you try to protect her, you're blocked off? Because I have, and let me tell you it fucking hurts. So I’m sorry that I’m not talking to your mother, but me not saying anything to her is for the best for everyone, the least you could do is trust me on that.”

[tamelee]

Hey, Just wanted to make it clear, I'm not good with expressing myself >< sorry I agree with you about Sasuke and Sakura, Sasuke never showed any Romanic intention toward her, I would even go as far as to say my option Sakura deserves better treatment that Sasuke give her. But she doesn't really lend her self to any good things when she is so willing to submit to the way of things. Just saying please don't kill me for that lol also I don't like NH because in my option if you have to change the main character back story to give her more meaning to him by this I mean They made it seem Hinata was always there for him growing up in the last movie yet the whole of Naruto whenever there was flash back he was alone or with Shilkamaru and Chouji, when talking about Hinata in the Chunin exams he say's she a strange person like he didn't really know her. I just don't get that part of the movie. But the last is just hug fail to me and I'm a highly Romanic person and I used to be a huge Hinata fan. I felt like everyone was pressuring Naruto into being with her. Total guilt tripping him that not love sorry. and then in Baruto to see him so sad all the time I hate that. Anyways I think I ranted to much What I am trying to say is that I totally understand where you are coming from with these pairing and I also don't like the paring. I wish Kishimoto would of stuck to his guns and did what he intended to do (not pairing any of the characters up and leave it up to the fandom) instead of being pressured by the studio to pair them off (Well that I herd I don't know if that true) My point being I agree with you and for me the manga ended at 699

Much love for you and you art Peace :)

Hi lovely @demonictenshi-fanart !💕 

“Just wanted to make it clear, I'm not good with expressing myself >< sorry"

I’m neither! No need to apologize (Art’s such a beautiful thing isn’t it?) 

“I agree with you about Sasuke and Sakura, Sasuke never showed any Romanic intention toward her, I would even go as far as to say my option Sakura deserves better treatment that Sasuke give her. But she doesn't really lend her self to any good things when she is so willing to submit to the way of things. Just saying please don't kill me for that lol"

Nah, of course I wouldn’t! But I do disagree 😂 

None of those so-called ‘SS-moments’ are romantic from Sasuke’s p.o.v., but there are plenty of moments where Sasuke has shown a gentle side towards Sakura in the beginning. Despite her being an annoying fangirl who never saw Sasuke as.. Sasuke, he was gentle and treated her normally. He isn’t some heartless bastard as some people love to make him out to be. He complimented her skills. She was a comrade he didn’t want to see get hurt. Meaning he was willing to fight in order to not let that happen. 

The times he snapped at her were moments where she was yelling at him clearly overstepping boundaries and most of the time because she pushed him to do so. Why is it then Sasuke’s fault? 

Because she’s a girl in love who “only cares, cries and worries for him”? And because he isn’t willing to be saved by someone he doesn’t feel the same for, she then deserves better from him? Like how? 

The concept of “let me down gently” obviously didn’t work for Sakura. 

She compared him leaving (which had nothing to do with her) and rejecting her which would make her feel lonely(?) to Sasuke’s pain of having his whole clan slaughtered by his dearest brother + the aftermath of having to live with that for years and Sasuke STILL thanked her for caring for him. He left her on a bench instead of on the floor after that. (Yes, to me that says a lot about his character.)  

Because of Naruto he started to see ‘Team 7’ “somewhat like his family” it “reminded him of his family”. He didn’t have a ‘bond’ with the team as he explains, Naruto became his goal, for the first time he had a bond with him, but he showed care for Kakashi and Sakura then too. Sasuke is a character full of love and Naruto knows that… he didn’t give up on Sasuke for nothing. 

Sakura has an idea of Sasuke, even into adulthood, not even knowing if the man wears glasses or not and is fangirling about her image, completely in love with that fantasy, but she doesn’t even know who Sasuke truly is, what he has been through, what he likes, dislikes, his favorite restaurants (lol), memories of the past- all she spouted was “I’ll do anything for you, I don’t care what it is or why you do what you do.” And “it’s my duty to save you from the darkness as I decided just now by myself.. but actually I already gave up on you and Naruto is the ONLY one who still has faith in you.. so lol I lied.”  

And Sakura deserves better? 

Really? 

Really, really? 

Are you sure? 

Her acts of love, care, worry for him have consisted of crying for him (which results in people saying “ahw he’s such an asshole she deserves better”), letting Naruto do all the work while she leaves him out in situations where she can go by herself and in the end she gives up on Sasuke anyway by going to him to lie and kill him, then even during the War Arc she lies to Sai saying she “believes in Sasuke”. In the end she proves to him she hasn’t changed one bit and then she doesn’t even respect his wishes to travel by himself either. 

Are you completely positive Sakura deserves better treatment from Sasuke?

"also I don't like NH because in my option if you have to change the main character back story to give her more meaning to him by this I mean They made it seem Hinata was always there for him growing up in the last movie yet the whole of Naruto whenever there was flash back he was alone or with Shilkamaru and Chouji"

Same, same, same, H.H has never been there for Naruto. It’s really that simple. If someone on the other side of the world thinks to themselves “I want to walk with tamelee” (dunno why you would, you poor soul), then we’re not all of a sudden walking together in a park. It doesn’t work like that. Get your ass away from that tree, stop wishing and do something. This weirdo (his words not mine.. well a little bit of mine) had zero influence on Naruto. 

Btw, since this came up, just a quick note.. this whole idea is filler.

I’m also not a huge fan of “at least Naruto had Shikamaru and Choji” or something along those lines.. uhm.. they also weren’t there for Naruto then.. Love how most of those “Shikamaru is a better friend to Naruto than Sasuke” articles are heavily anti-SNS/anti-Sasuke 😂

"What I am trying to say is that I totally understand where you are coming from with these pairing and I also don't like the paring. I wish Kishimoto would of stuck to his guns and did what he intended to do"

Yes *-*! Who knows at this point right? I always found his message at the beginning from the last volume really interesting:

If Kishimoto supported the idea of a follow-up series of Naruto's son so much as canon-shippers like to believe and he knew that there would be a whoooooolleeee future of Naruto being Hokage.. then it wouldn't really be necessary to 'occasionally recall' a character named Naruto. Unless.... :') Well then.

"Much love for you and you art Peace :)"

Much love for you and your art too @demonictenshi-fanart !! Hope you're doing well and many many many success wishes and blessings for your art journey! 🧡

[rusty-clock]

Rapunzel is not responsible for Varian's villain arc

Hear me out.

I'm the first person to admit Rapunzel in the show is not perfect (and lets be honest: often not even likeable) person. The show tries very hard to make her one, but fails miserably.

Let's see things in the show's point of view first.

The show admits freely that Rapunzel does some things wrong. She gives Varian a promise she can't keep. She even feels guilt because of the black rocks. The show frames it to look like she is made to do difficult but understandable choice: the promise she gave to Varian or her kingdom. It is easy to understand why she chooses the kingdom's safety . And later, when Varian asks for help, she gives it. His betrayal afterwards is his own doing and makes him a villain. And even after he kidnaps her mom and tries to destroy them all with his automatons she still shows kindness and asks her father not to be too hard on him.

Now lets look at this in different perspective.

Like its been pointed out many times, Rapunzel could have done so many things differently. Sure she couldn't have gone with Varian during the blizzard but she surely shouldn't have let him being dragged out. And after the blizzard is over her first thought is not Varian but an art block. That's not what a responsible adult does when a child has begged for their help during a deadly storm. Granted, she does think Varian, even talks about him with Eugene but she still doesn't do anything before Varian actively asks for help. Even then she only agrees to help when its Corona which is in danger, not Varian's dad.

What especially bothers me is this picture.

This is not a face of somebody who made terrible mistakes which ruined somebody's life. This is not look of sadness and remorse. It's a "I fought a villain and won and now it's time for a new adventure" face.

Maybe I'm being harsh but that look just bugs me so much. She shouldn't look like that after fighting against a friend turned to villain.

So why do I think Rapunzel is not responsible for Varian's villain arc?

This is Rapunzel's 19th birthday. She has been out of her tower a bit over an year. A bit over an year to learn how to function on society.

Most likely when Rapunzel was a child and a teenager, she spent lots of time alone with only Pascal as a company. And you know what that means?

She was never wrong.

Of course she had Gothel who belittled and insulted her, but she wasn't around so often. That meant Rapunzel never had to face the humiliating fact that she could be wrong or do mistakes so...she didn't.

Chameleons are great and all but you don't really need to care about their opinions that much.

And then Eugene and everything happened and suddenly this girl raised in isolation is a princess in a kingdom where a tailor can be thrown to stockades because ripping the king's robes.

You see where I'm going?

The only people in the show really disliking Rapunzel are Cass and Monty. Cass often defies Rapunzel but she too gets trapped to Rapunzel's manipulation and guilt-tripping in Beginnings.

Monty is surprisingly wholesome and the show rather surprisingly doesn't force him to be a part of Raps' fan club. But he is not around enough to actually make any difference.

Remembering all this, is not a miracle Rapunzel makes those mistakes she does with Varian. She has never been forced to accept responsibility, nor has she ever really been wrong and suffered consequences for that. And the worst thing is that nobody really allows her to do that.

To be honest (and this is painful to say) the persons behind Varian's downfall are Cass and Eugene.

Eugene puts Rapunzel on pedestal. He doesn't allow her any mistakes, not even when she could learn from them. When he realizes Monty doesn't like her, he immediately tries to make it look like Monty is wrong there.

When it comes to Varian, Eugene barely even glances at Quirin's paralyzed form in amber and doesn't spare any thought to Varian. Instead he focuses on comforting Rapunzel who is completely safe at that moment.

And then Cass, who is dreaming to be a guard, stands still and watches a child being dragged out by said guards -and doesn't bat an eye. Later she just like Eugene, completely forgets Varian until she gets the slightest hint he could be a threat and rushes to arrest him without any real evidence.

Cass and Eugene are both adults. They did not grow up in a tower. Unlike Rapunzel, they have no excuse for their behavior and they should face consequences for their actions. Rapunzel can be cut some slack because she really shouldn't have been in the situation where she was and she did her best with her limited experience. That doesn't mean she wasn't wrong or that she shouldn't have done more, but she wasn't the only one responsible.

So, in conclusion, the whole mess with Varian wasn't all Rapunzel's fault. The blame falls to Eugene and Cass

Thank you coming to my rant talk!

[smolgloves]

I normally try to stay out of discourse in this community because my blog is just about sharing art and stories and some times the psychology of gt, but I just wanna a point when it comes to certain tropes within the community.

TW: mental and physical abuse mentions, alcohol abuse

I didn't have the most healthy of households to live in growing up, there was mostly guilt-tripping and yelling in the house, sometimes it escalated to physical altercations sometimes. This was something I thought was normal in every household, so I just ignored it and watched tv, but I realized at the age of 6 that I had this fascination with size differences. Anyone who knew my love of G/t asked me why I liked such an odd trope. I could never really give an answer because I never understood my reasoning for liking gt. Looking back, there were a lot of things I didn't understand that happened, and maybe if I understood them sooner, things could have been different.

At the age of 20, I began writing a story called To Trust a Giant. It was a story about a girl who ran away from her abuser and then reluctantly gets help from a giant and his family. Looking back, there are a lot of things I would change because some of the stuff was a little problematic or I just didn't like the direction I went with some of the choices, but when I was 21, I had a particularly nasty fight with my father. I had locked myself in my room and started to drink a beer to numb the pain. For some reason my mind thought of gt and my story and suddenly the realization hit me.

All my life, I had wanted a giant to whisk me away from my problems and protect me from the harm that was in my life and I wanted a family that cared for me even if I was at the most smallest and "insignificant" form. To Trust a Giant was a comfort fic for myself but it was also a realization of where my trauma actually stemmed from and what I actually wanted in my life that I felt I needed to heal. Once I realized that, I began to realize the themes in my writings were all about someone who dealt with some trauma and gets protected from some giant. I'm not sure I would have recognized my own traumas had I not written a pet trope story.

The pet trope isn't always handled in the best way. And I do agree that people should learn to handle it better because people have made abuse, manipulation, dehumanization or infanilization in a positive light with this trope. It's one thing to write dark stories where the villian wins but it's another thing when a hero does one of these things. There is a power imbalance in this situation, but let's be real here, the entirety of gt is a power imbalance! It doesn't matter if you write some angsty dark story or fluff, there will always be a power imbalance when one person is significantly bigger than the other and I don't think demonizing a certain trope is going to negate the issue gt can create as a whole.

Honestly, if you don't like a certain trope just block and move on or ask for it to be tagged properly.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XLIV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Comfort Me

(9x10)

Hello my friends!!!! How are you? Happy New Year!

This is another meta from this series. This time I will dedicate the entire meta to episode 9x10 Road Trip, it was a very Destiel one, and we could see how Castiel was comforting Dean the whole time, it was so sweet and romantic.

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder , she made the first for this meta and discussed with me the episode! Thank you girl!

Now, let's start...

You Are my Oasis

Okay, this sounds very romantic, because it is...

When Castiel went to see Dean, because he called him (!!!) at the beginning of episode 9x10 Road Trip, we knew he had to burn Kevin's body, he was tremendously sad, but when he saw Cas... He smiled and... He complimented him, he checked him out, he was really enjoying the sight of Castiel. Cas is Dean's Oasis in this episode, is Dean's comfort. He called him because he needed his help, and because he needed his friend. He needed someone to be there for him. So this episode showed us how Dean relayed on Cas, but not like friends... If you rewatch it, is like seeing one man comforting his boyfriend. Is the sensation that it left me while I was paying attention to the Destiel scenes.

So Dean talks with Cas ... Remember when they talked with honesty? 😭💔

Well, Dean is feeling too much guilt, and Cas is trying to shove that out from him. He is comforting Dean the whole time! He is saying the exact words Dean needs to hear.

And then...

Cas can't let Dean call himself stupid, he stands up to point his position, to remark to Dean his words. To have Dean security with it. And because he understands him... Cas felt he was a dumb too, when he thought he will save Heaven by trusting in Metatron, and that costed him his grace.

And because Cas is beautiful, inside and outside, is delightful for Dean, is his Oasis, is his comfort...

Talking with the eyes

Really, this episode is breathtaking. First we had Dean smiling, checking out his gorgeous angel even when he was so destroyed. And now...

While they were interrogating Crowley, they were looking at each other almost constantly, and is perfect, because, their crossed gazes, being so so close to each other, when Crowley was talking about Dean... About what torments Dean...

CASTIEL: Kevin is dead.

First topic that is carving in Dean's soul, the guilt of Kevin's dead is on the table now, and Crowley made a fest with it

CROWLEY: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.

CASTIEL [harshly] Don't pretend you care. You tried to kill him.

CROWLEY: I told him this was gonna happen. I was the only person who tried to warn him. I told him to run.

Crowley is trying to drag the conversation to the fact that Dean is dangerous. Everyone who gets bear him, dies.

DEAN: From what?

CROWLEY: You. How many times am I gonna have to say this? People in your general vicinity don't have much in the way of a life-span.

When Crowley exposed Dean's fears and guilt, Castiel reached for his eyes, to comfort him, he is saying DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. LOOK AT ME, YOU ARE NOT THAT. YOU ARE NOT DANGEROUS. I KNOW.

This glare is so beautiful, is so comforting, Crowley is trying to hurt Dean and Cas is protecting him for that harm, with just one look, because they talk like this. With the eyes. And this is very very romantic.

CROWLEY: Now, I can't teach you how to crack open an angel. It's more... art than science. But I can do it for you. All I ask in return is a little field trip. Dying for some fresh air. Chains on, naturally.

DEAN: No.

CROWLEY: No? Of course not. Because if I'm plan "A," I'm sure you have a totally viable, much better plan "B."

CASTIEL [and DEAN pull aside] You can't be considering this.

DEAN: With the chains on, he can't do anything.

CASTIEL: It's Crowley. He can always do something.

CROWLEY: Looks like we need a tiebreaker. Go get Moose, squirrel. [DEAN's mask slips and you can see his guilt]

Unless... Unless, of course, you can't. That's why you're here, isn't it? The poor giant baby's in trouble again, isn't he?

Another Guilt exposition from Crowley: Sam, possessed by Gadreel, now are gone and that's a huge problem now. So...

Second exposition of guilt, and Cas is searching for his eyes again. Another comforting glare to Dean. WE WILL FIND HIM, WE HAVE A PLAN. EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY. SAM IS GONNA BE OKAY.

If this isn't romantic, I don't know what it is. Complicity and comfort on those gazes, so much love and understanding. Cas is there to be Dean's Oasis.

Comfort Me

It was very comic watching Cas and Crowley fighting like children, it was really a sit com right in front of our eyes.

And don't forget the fact that Cecily, the demon , mentioned angel Castiel was hot, and she called him too Capitan Sexy, like... Castiel's sex appeal is well known between angels and demons.

But let's focus now in that important scene when Crowley tried to get Gadreel's name in Sam's body.

Watching Sam's vessel suffering was too much for Dean, and he had to leave for a moment. If you recall that time when they had to lock Sam because he was having this demon drinking issue again, and Dean left, and Castiel saw him but he didn't follow him? Well, this time is totally different, because, Cas was the whole episode paying special attention to Dean, and when he saw he left, he followed him...

CASTIEL: Hey.

DEAN: I can't watch that anymore.

CASTIEL: I understand. It's not Sam, but... It's still Sam.

Castiel is comforting him again.

DEAN [voice cracking with emotion] Pretty much, yeah. How are you doing?

CASTIEL [kind of surprised] You want to talk about me now?

DEAN: I want to talk about anything that's not a demon sticking needles into my brother's brain.

[DEAN looks out a window trying to control his emotions but we see tears pooling in his eyes]

Yeah, humor me, man. How you doing?

CASTIEL: Uh... I'm okay.

Dean asks Castiel to distract him, maybe is something Cas didn't know how to send or how to response, so Dean shows him how.

DEAN: Good. Good. That's, uh... So, what, you just change the batteries out, power back up? It's that easy?

CASTIEL: It wasn't easy, but I didn't have a choice.

DEAN: Yeah. Well, that's usually how it goes.

Dean takes Castiel's quote to elaborate his apologies, because that time when he kicked Cas out from the bunker, it wasn't easy, but he thought he didn't have a choice. That's why he says THAT'S USUALLY HOW IT GOES.

DEAN: Cas... I'm sorry.

CASTIEL: About what?

DEAN: Kickin' you out of the bunker. That's, uh... You know, not telling you about Sam.

Remember when Dean could say I'm sorry to Cas?? Damn... But really... He couldn't even give a description to what was kicking Cas out from the bunker... Because it was horrible, and friends don't do that.

CASTIEL: You thought his life was at stake.

Castiel keeps comforting him, he doesn't want Dean feels more guilt.

DEAN: Yeah, I got played.

CASTIEL: I thought I was saving Heaven. I got played, too.

Cas is saying here SEE? I MADE MISTAKES TOO. DON'T BE SO HARD WITH YOURSELF.

This is perfect, how Cas steals another smile from Dean, how Cas comforts him again, all the time, trying to make Dean's weight less painfully to carry.

When they had to decide to enter inside Sam, Dean trusted in Castiel, but that wasn't possible and they had to let Crowley to go inside.

After this, and by the end of the episode, when Sam and Dean fought and they got separated, Cas watches Dean one more time, again comforting him...

To conclude:

Cas behaves in this episode like Dean's support, not just as a friend, because he does it with a dedication and a sweetness of a couple. Dean looks for that in him, and he finds it. The dedication and the support that Castiel gives him goes beyond a simple friendship, because there is intimacy and confidence in their eyes. Love and devotion.

I hope you enjoy this Chronicles, see you in the next ones!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read my previous s9 metas here are the links...

Vol. XL, Vol. XLI, Vol. XLII, Vol. XLIII.

Buenos Aires, December 30th 2019 8:08 PM

[sdvvillagers]

I don't know why, but it came in my mind. On a scale of 0 to 10. 0 being "I would never hurt somebody" to 10 being "I have concidered murder", what would be your rating on the moms and dads of the valley, if they learn that their child was bullied/hurt? Strange questions happening while waiting for a snack X)

Robin - 11... not a soul in the valley is gonna f-ck with her children if they know what’s good for them.

Demetrius - 1.  Violence is never the answer, there has to be a way to talk things through and reach a peaceful resolution.  Plus, he knows he has to be level-headed enough to balance out Robin.

Caroline - 1.  Caroline knows that Abigail is FEARLESS and if anything, Caroline is more afraid of ABIGAIL being the one to start a fight with her bully than anyone else.  She has no worries at all that Abigail could hold her own against a bully, she just fears for the day that Abigail breaks someone’s nose over it.

Pierre - 4.  He used to be a boxer, this is true, and he could probably hold his own in a fight, but admittedly it was quite a few years ago.  If someone is tormenting Abigail, there’s probably a way to resolve it.  If it’s beyond resolution, then... maybe Pierre might have to show off a few boxing trophies as an intimidation tactic.

Evelyn - 5.  Evelyn knows that Alex is a strong, capable young man and can take care of himself.  Though Evelyn would never resort to any physical confrontation (there’s no way she could!) she is certainly not above using the power of guilt.  She’s perfected the art of the guilt-trip and is positive that one sit-down conversation with this aggressor and by the time they were done, this bully would be as tame as a kitten.

George - 7.  He’s not the strong, able-bodied man he used to be, but dammit, there’s still some fight in him!  At his age, he doesn’t really have much to lose so if anyone dares to come for Alex, especially with the tough life he’s already had, they really shouldn’t be surprised to find George at their doorstep, feisty as ever.  Just see if the elderly wheelchair-bound man with nothing at all to lose isn’t gonna defend his grandson... just see.

Jodi - 6.  Much like Evelyn, she would never actually be decent in a fight against her child’s bully, but there’s other ways to deal with a bully.  Jodi is not above tattling, or at least reaching out to the right person to have this bully dealt with.  Jodi is very much a “let me speak with your manager” type mom.  If the bully’s mom needs to be spoken with, their friend, their teacher, whoever!  Anyone in this bully’s life that can be informed of what’s going on in order to make the behavior stop, it’s going to be done.

Kent - 0.  He’s seen what REAL violence is, it’s nothing at all to make light of.  If someone is making life tough for his boys, he’s confident that they have the skills to handle it on their own.  If his boys DO come to him for help, he’ll talk to them about conflict resolution and how to handle things civilly.  No need for any more violence in the world.

Marnie (not a parent, but an aunt... close enough) - 8.  Shane’s been through enough, he doesn’t need anything or anyone else in his life to make it more complicated.  If someone thinks it wise to pick on Shane, they’d better think again.

Pam - 5 when she’s sober, 10 when she’s not.  Penny’s a sweet girl, a little too sweet for her own good, and she can be a bit naive at times which makes it easy for her to be used or taken advantage of.  Pam has certainly dealt with her fair share of problems in the past and will certainly stand in the way of anyone trying to make life problematic for Penny.

[rexismycopilot]

Thank you, @obi-wkenobi!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I'm working on my PPL and I feel like Rex would make a good copilot. There's nothing very deep about this lol. Anakin would annoy the socks off of me and Obi-Wan would complain about flying...

2. Any side blogs?

Nope.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Not very long. Maybe three months now?

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I do not. I have never queued a post in my life.

5. Why did you start your blog?

I like Obikin and I like fanfic and this is one place they seem to meld. I also really like taking prompts, but that can't be done anonymously on AO3 (or not easily, anyway).

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

For any social media, I generally choose some kind of classic art work. Usually because I know I'm not ripping off an artist inadvertently, but for this one, I liked the aesthetic of "Girl with the Pearl Earring (and blaster)"

7. Why did you choose your header?

Same as above!

8. What post of yours has the most notes?

This one I made today lol. I don't post a lot of original things. I'm a lurker by nature and therefore also a reblogger by nature. I have nothing very interesting to say in general.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Is there any easy way to count this? I honestly have no idea.

10. How many followers do you have?

218. It's wild to me that 218 people are following me for what I can only assume is my obikin fanfic. Which is unbelievably humbling and wonderful!

11. How many blogs do you follow?

114

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I don't think so?

13. How often do you use Tumblr a day?

I'm afraid to admit how much. I eat the timeline for breakfast (and then lunch and then dinner and then of course all the snacks in between)

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

No, not really. I don't really want to argue especially on tumblr (or really any online platform). It's not usually very productive.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

Usually, I feel like they're trying to guilt trip you into something. I do a lot of advocacy in my day to day life, tumblr and writing is meant for relaxation. I am very aware of these things that come across my dash and I care deeply about them and I do what I can to help causes near and dear to my heart.

16. Do you like tag games?

I sure do!

17. Do you like ask games?

Yep!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

I'm not sure what constitutes tumblr famous?

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t really, but I do love you all! :D

No pressure tags :) @lynnpaper @aegir-emblem @radicalboob @nonnie992

Tagged by @thetorontokid ​💙

1. Why did you choose your url?

My old url was ToolMusicLover in celebration of the band Tool releasing their latest album after a long hiatus, but after a while my blog slowly but surely was taken over by Star Wars and Obi-Wan Kenobi and I felt it was appropriate for me to change my url to reflect that.

2. Any side blogs?

Nope.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Not long, I think just over a year now.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I don’t but most of my posts are queued/scheduled, I set them up every morning.

5. Why did you start your blog?

I wanted to find more Obikin fans.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because he’s fine as hell, even the pixelated version of him. I think about this man way too much.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Because I wanted a gif that matched the colour of my icon and it was the first clip I felt would make a good enough gif.

8. What post of yours has the most notes?

This Star Wars, the Clone Wars 2003 gif set.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I honestly have no idea. Is there an easier way to find out than by counting by hand? I could probably do that but I’m far too lazy.

10. How many followers do you have?

I feel a bit weird giving the actual number haha, I’m happy with the number considering I haven’t had my blog that long, but would definitely like it to grow a bit more.

11. How many blogs do you follow?

224

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

No, my sense of humour doesn’t really let me make things like that loI

13. How often do you use Tumblr a day?

Way too much <– same. I’ll open the app on breaks or sometimes if I’m just bored at work, but I couldn’t really say how often it is. I easily spend the first half an hour of my morning scrolling and setting up most of my posts for the day.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Nope, I don’t handle confrontation very well.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

Are we talking about the guilt tripping posts about how if you’re not talking about a current event 24/7 on your tumblr blog then you’re trash? If so, I dislike those. I work in policy and advocacy irl, and though I of course support many of those posts, my blog is a chance for me to distance myself from the stuff I work around and with everyday.

If we’re talking about the ‘reblog to support creators’ posts then I’m completely fine with those because that’s what keeps tumblr going. likes are certainly nice, but without reblogs, the post just sits there and it dies.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes, I love them!

17. Do you like ask games?

Yep!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Errr I don’t really know what counts as Tumblr famous? I suppose in this corner of the SW fandom I’m mutuals with a few who are quite popular, but I don’t really feel comfortable calling them out haha.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t, but I love you all very much.

No pressure tags as always, and sorry if you’ve already done this! @gay-cheerios @tomicaleto @skywalker-tano-kenobi @rexismycopilot @moodysgirlsblog

[dandystones]

Yes means no.

***There are two parts to this long ass post because I didn't realise I had so much to say oops***

Setting boundaries, I recently learnt I've been terrible at that for most of my life.

I hate when people tell me what to do, to the point I'd do the exact opposite, but I always wanted validation. I sought it from everyone and their mothers because I never got it from myself.

The internet seems to talk a big game about how the universe will keep on sending you lessons in all it's glorious forms if we don't pick up on it; like how we always encounter the same toxic people and relationships, one after another.

It's funny when I recall them now.

***PART 1***

I like to think I've been very blessed when it came to friendship. All through my life, I've always felt that I made friends easily and had plenty of platonic support. However at different stages of my life, I've also noticed that despite all the good friends I surrounded myself with, I've always had that one person in my life who was just a little too self absorbed, borderline narcisstic and treaded way too close for comfort.

For reference, I'm going to list some people but not their whole names: my mum >> X >> O >> H >> C

The most coincidental thing I've come to realise is 1) that each person had a specific time in my life where they rose to prominence, or in other words, where they suffocated me the most 2) the end of each 'stage of prominence' was the start of the next. For example, when I thought I'd finally stepped out of my mum's narcissistic shadow, X stepped and morphed into that narcisstic figure until I'd decided it was time to cut ties. Around the same time, I met O and she slowly morphed into that person.

Continously, I realise I've always had that one presence in my life and each person would stay for many years until a breaking point, after which I would draw the line and keep my distance. As a rough estimate, I took about 25 years to understand that this exhausting cycle of going through toxic loved one after another is simply a lesson of setting boundaries.

I came to this realization in the past 6-12 months because I was having a particular hard time adjusting at work and it was really tough to master the art of stakeholder management. I won't say I'm an expert now, but I've gotten much better at putting my foot down and helping people to understand how their basic (read: brainless) actions are making my job unnecessarily difficult and defying my work ethics. I started to understand the importance of setting my own boundaries because we can never assume anyone would know them if we don't speak it.

Around the same time, I noticed the last person in this cycle, C had started to transition out of her role as the narcisstic shadow in my life entirely on her own. I've never had that happen to me without having to ruthlessly cut ties before. It's like something just clicked. On hindsight, the lesson just made sense and perhaps because I understand what it is now, there was no longer a need for the lesson to remain.

I always thought I was good at saying no to people, because I didn't care what they think which is true for the most part, I don't care what strangers think. What I came to realise about myself was that I needed help saying no to non strangers, people I care about, the people I need in my life.

***PART 2***

The word 'no' carried too much grief and associated history with abuse and neglect. My parents never made it easy for me growing up; affection was a competition between myself and both my younger sisters. My father could never find balance at work, so he overcompensated by trying to take control of everything at home. Nothing I said nor did could ever please him, he was always angry about the tiniest thing.

Everything was someone else's fault; between denying me any help with school work because I didn't go to a school of his choice and completely beating my self esteem down because I dare ask him for any help to a seemingly insignificant act like him accidentally stepping on my toes at the supermarket, he would twist and mold all my words until they made him looked like a hero in his own fantasy, that I was beneath him, and that everything bad that happened in his life was my fault and no one else's.

You couldn't fight him with reason even if you tried to, because he wasn't fighting for anything, he just wanted to win and he would say anything to wear you down. Every night would end in the same way, a disgustingly heated verbal mess between him, myself and my mom; abuse of any kind is simply the cheap power you get when you destroy people for the sake of your ego.

My mum was completely helpless in that regard, she stayed the hell out of his way whenever he had an outburst, even if it meant leaving me to fend for myself. I refused to back down from the injustice and his words dug its claws deeper in my gut, every quarrel we had made me sick with anger because no matter how hard I tried to defend myself, every takeaway was how each of his mistakes were the result of my failures even if it had nothing to do with it.

This went on for years. I knew I couldn't run away because I was underage, financially unstable and still needed a roof above my head. I felt absolutely helpless and remember crying myself to sleep all the time, praying to God to take me away - away from here, away from being the family's punching bag, away to another universe where parents actually protected their children, built them up and supported them.

Growing up in an environment where your survival thrived from avoiding all the stressors that could result in rage meant that I became extremely cautious in expressing my needs and opinions out of a fear of of displeasing my parents. Every subsequent outburst was a slap in the face, a painful reminder of how abandoned and unsupported I was in this family.

This led to a series of bad behaviors where I was desperate to please and longed for a life devoid of rejection. For the parts of myself who had endured so much neglect, I just couldn't bare the same devastation over again. Putting myself second and others first was easy as long as they were happy. I had this belief that if I accidently let myself be honest, people wouldn't accept me and I couldn't risk letting my guard down again.

Over time, I started saying yes to everything I wanted to say no to. Yes means no, no came with a '... but I'll do this for you instead' to overcompensate my fear. Slowly but surely, I became exhausted from pleasing people all the time. I said yes to social events I didn't care to be at, I patiently listened to every word of every person who needed me even if they didn't care to be there for me, I helped every toxic person who saw an opportunity to exploit my time and kindness. Without realizing, I was unnecessarily deriving a form of validation from being a yes-girl, I didn't know how to say no. Beyond that I'd lost my sense of self because I didn't know if anyone would care about me if I stopped doing all these things.

This obviously manifested in many unhealthy coping mechanisms and constantly wanting to be alone because I felt that everyone around me wanted something from me I couldn't give. It became a toxic cycle of self harm, feeling absolutely hopeless and finding sick joy in dreaming about the many different ways to end my life. At age 17, I've never felt more alone.

Ive had to see a counsellor for prolonged periods of my life and thisemotional abuse was one of the key moments that contributed to it.

Recovery was one hella of a slippery slope and had relapsed so many times I've lost count. I was convinced my abuse had rewired my body's ability to understand what love was, all I felt was the fire of resentment, burning my insides with the anxiety of having to live out the rest of my life in a bubble of 'my mistakes'.

Through my counsellor, we had to un-learnt the act of being too harsh of myself, as a result of the years I spent projecting my dad's expectations on myself. Rewiring your brain to calm itself down when you're triggered is difficult but not impossible. There were many scenarios where I became aware of the fact that the voice in my head mimicked my dad's in giving all but bone crushing criticism, guilt tripping my every move and spiralling myself into depression again.

Re-learning the notion of 'giving myself to others' whilst being 'unapologetically myself' was interesting and refreshing. Mostly, my subconscious got better at unlearning the act of constantly censoring myself for the sake of others; how to live freely & become a more honest version of myself regardless of the people around me. Not in any manner that might be of harm to others though, just in a way that allows me to stop relying on other people’s validation to keep my spirits lifted.

Every relapse back then sunk me into my depression, harder. Looking back now, I'm glad I didn't give up even though the chance was present and tempting every step of the way. Everyday still feels like a challenge, but I get it now when people say it gets easier

[lesbiankiliel]

got tagged by @thotinshield for this, thanks <3

1. why did you choose your url?

- I was super ride or die with fem!kiliel back in the day and I'd also just come out as a lesbian and it's stuck ever since. it's my brand now

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

- I made a post about them but the most important two are my finnish sideblog @hehkuvamyyhapero that I made for finnish shitposting, and @canonskyrissian which is my star wars sideblog that I made so that my star wars bs wouldn't take too much space from the rest of my bs

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

- since 2013

4. do you have a queue tag?

- cleaning my likes, which I use only when I go on like cleaning spree like twice a year if that

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

- saw a lot of nice hobbit art on deviantart and facebook and wanted to properly interact with the artists

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

- I made this icon for pride month. it's raya from raya and the last dragon with nonbinary lesbian flag (made by @femmeflags) in the background because I'm a nonbinary lesbian. I also made one with the regular lesbian flag but I liked the color scheme of this one better

7. why did you choose your header?

- raya is my girl and I love her and this is such a cool shot

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

- from my star wars sideblog: no cops at pride just carrie fisher's ghost with a baseball bat currently at 8,399 notes

from this blog: me going off at saruman about balrog at 2,776 notes

9. how many mutuals do you have?

- absolutely no idea and I'm also really bad at remembering urls

10. how many followers do you have?

- currently 2,485

11. how many people do you follow?

- 635

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

- absolutely

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

- hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha too much

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

- I've got anon hate but nothing beyond that.... no wait I did have an argument about nuriko from fushigi yuugi back in 2013 I think, but it was really civil from both of our ends and we ended it on an agree to disagree note and wished each other well

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

- this image:

same if the post has any kind of "I bet no [insert here a group of people] won't reblog this" sort of guilt trip like bitch I don't have to prove you anything

16. do you like tag games?

- absolutely! take this as your invite to tage me in anything

17. do you like ask games?

- send me all ask games pls

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

- I don't even know what counts as tumblr famous these days

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

- yep, have had it for a few years now

20. tags?

- uuuuhhhh @hobbitunderthemountain @mrsmarymorstan @diskingoferebor @esosquing @daenerys-targaryen @myrskytuuli @puukkolesbo and anyone who wants to do this

[the-origin-story]

Origin Story Character Text Posts +Cyra, Jean and Kira and The Squad

Kira: Someone: *tries to guilt trip me* Me: the jokes on you!! i feel guilty 97% of the time for Everything I Do!, if i didn't have have depression no one could fucking stop me. i only have depression because otherwise im too powerful., please don't flirt with people i secretly like it's rude and disrespectful, i have three moods: fuck off, fuck you, fuck me., im cute and small and ready to brawl, "talk about" hahah, no no, i prefer to internalize all my problems so they eat away at me from inside until im unable to function in any way, no offense @life but can a have a breather...a break...some slack..., yea boys are cute but they disgust me and constantly disappoint me, she's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch you in the face, 5'2 but my attitude 6'2, "If I don't have calves of steel or abs of iron by the end of this trip, I'm going to feel so cheated.", "No offense, but I just can't process the fact that someone might actually care about me.", night time would be so beautiful and fun if all men had a curfew. me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism???????? what?????, When a girl says she has experimented with girls, that does not necessarily mean she's bi. She may just be an evil scientist., the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both, list of people i'm going to fight: everyone. put your fists up i'm coming for you, stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical

Jean: i don't have a nervous system. i am a nervous system., pick your battles. pick...fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that's too many., Wakey wakey eggs and social anxiety, enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn't get uncomfortable after 5 minutes, i'm actually pretty cool just me like 5 tries to get it right, i love freckles theyre skin stars, never underestimate my ability to find shit out, "I don't feel that sore right now, but ask me again tomorrow and I'm sure I'll have a more colorful answer for you.", my life is constantly an inner monologue of "why do i do this to myself", 90% of my day is me being nervous., every friend group has the mom friend, if you don't who it is you're it.

Cypress: biology more like BYEology because I'm out, Highest form of art: girls, i don't want to look "pretty" i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening, things that make every video game better: give me nice outfits to wear, let me be gay, give me a pet, yoU THINK YOU'RE REAL CUTE, DON'T YOU???? REAL FUCKING CUTE RIGHT???? i think so to, "Your aim's a little off - now look at that. You just smushed the ant. Now it can't crawl anymore.", appreciation post for broccoli, thanks for being so tasty you tiny trees, there are people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say and do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine, I slept for 8 hours straight and then 2 hours gay, fuck dating girls who are "naturally pretty". date girls who are supernaturally pretty. date a hot ass ghost. date a fucking alien., Current mood: wanting to have a hooded cloak and to be in misty forest., You Want To See Some Goddamn Optimism?, "guys prefer-" that's nice i don't care, how to look cute but like you could kill someone

Liam: ive been annoyed ever since i was born, members of my squad: me, I may seem like an asshole but deep down im a good person and even deeper down im a bigger asshole, I came out to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now, me, introducing myself: it is i, your local asshole, my kink is when everyone shuts the fuck up, *at a job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done in absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man., The worst part about kissing a perfect ten is the cold feeling your lips get from touching the mirror., i don't want a friend w/ benefits i just want the benefits keep your friendship away from me, Ur what we call in the scientific community a "lil bitch", have u ever met the human version of a headache, *barges out of coffin at funeral yelling sike*, i'm permanently emotionally damaged, but its chill, I'm chill, no addressing our problems we downward spiral like men, I'm wasting my youth and beauty being a mysterious eccentric loner and I wouldn't have it any other way, im alive out of spite

Beckett: world's okayest friend, Do you ever look at someone and you're like how, "What are you twelve" Yeah on a scale of one to ten bye, having 3 friends is a lot of work, "Yeah I'm going chug four servings of this entire energy drink so I can crash later and actually get some sleep.", when you see a person smile and it's like...holy shit...what is this magic...please do that again, Stop taking advantage of people with good hearts & who are emotionally vulnerable, "you're so sweet!" thank you i have abandonment issues, IF YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO KISSES A GIRL ON THE TOP OF THE HEAD WHEN HUG THEM THEN YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT MY FRIEND, beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure, why is everyone so mean. How aren't you tired

Cyra: When a grumbly grump who hates everyone and sees the world as dark and cold and unforgiving loves a sunshiney optimist. When a sunshiney optimist who sees the best in everyone thinks the grumbly grump is the best thing out of the whole beautiful world., do you like sleeping because so do i we should do it together sometime, love yourself so we can have something in common, how many eye contact until date, beING SUPER IN LOVE WITH YOUR FRIENDS BUT IN A FRIEND WAY but also a little bit in a gay way but also in a friEND WAY, anyone have that friend that you REALLY wanna fuck but you're never gonna say anything about it, listen i didn't come here to ship it lightly ok i came here for it to consume my soul, you could take me on a date anywhere and i'd be happy. like it could be the movie theater, or watching a movie at your house. fuck you could take me outside and we could look at clouds and climb trees i do not care as long as we hold hands or something at some point., my mom thought otp meant "oh, the pain." what's the difference., My way of flirting is looking at the person I'm attracted to and hoping they're braver than I am., i;m feeling...what's the word...........gay, I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH WITH MY OWN MOUTH Softly Because I like you

Jean and Kira: i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining, does anybody else have that friend that your pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way, friend(jean): fuck off stop punching me me(kira): it's called platonic bdsm, when ur best friend says something weird and ur just like...I love you but what have I gotten myself into with this friendship, do you ever look at your best friend and just "who the hell blessed me with this dork, i am the luckiest loser in the galaxy."

The Squad: "what are the chances of EVERYONE in a friend group being queer" do you realize that we all tend to flock together like penguins huddling for warmth in a cold heteronormative, world right

[bloom-agreste-cheng]

”Big of heart and dumb of ass?” I didn’t know Fu spoke meme.

They’ll destroy you from within if you’re not vigilant.

Episode 46 Part 7

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Ep 41, Ep 42, Ep 43, Ep 44, Ep 45

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