#girl you should be clocked out im so sorry!!!!!! you were supposed to get off at 11! take care of urself!!!
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theosjunkdrawer · 5 months ago
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Something about procrastinating booking a hotel for a wedding until 2 days before the deadline and then being told they'll call back for 2 days straight and now it's 11:35pm and in 25 minutes it is technically too late to confirm this shit and I Know The Person At The Desk By Name Because She's Been There All Day and I still haven't got a call back. I am out of school and still procrastinating deadlines continue to tear my stomach up
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hhighkey · 4 months ago
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Taken, part 2 // Uvogin, one shot - part of hhighkey's phantom troupe universe series
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Rating: mature Story Contains: stockholm syndrome, love??, implied past kidnapping, implied references to depression, suicidal thoughts, unnamed chronic illness, medical inaccuracies, marriage, rough sex, size kink, lots of come im so sorry, manipulation, female reader Note: about 17k words, ao3 link: xxx, link to part 1
The union could never be legal, technically Uvogin didn’t exist, but that didn’t matter. Not to you when he confidently proposed with the biggest grin months after getting you back from Bates, going on a ramble about the thought of you being someone else’s wife terrified him. To him, it furthered his ownership of you, and was another way to show his utmost commitment and love. Not that kidnapping you four years ago was a total display of it or anything… That it took someone else trying to marry you for him to think of it. 
Never sure what to categorize as the happiest day of your life, for now that day took the cake. How even on one knee he was taller than you, a gorgeous ring in hand (you could thank Chrollo for that as you found out later). The idea of being someone’s wife when you were little had been like a dream, you’d always gawk at wedding stores and the dresses on display. It was more of a fantasy to look the prettiest surrounded by even prettier decor, not necessarily about the concept of ‘in life and death.’ After so long with Uvogin you understood that marriage wasn’t about a gorgeous wedding but about the vows and status it brought. Because your relationship with Uvogin was the epitome of together until death. And with each day getting harder to get out of bed, blood painting your tissues after coughing, you realize that death is on the horizon.
However, for the last few weeks Uvogin was doing his best to avoid a certain group. The term ‘bachelorette party’ became a forbidden term to me murmured around him, it’d be a night where he’d have no control. However, three people weren’t letting him off easy as you found amusement in him trapped.
“Fuck no.” Uvogin grunted, eyes tensely looking over the three female Troupe members, “She doesn't leave my sight when I’m not workin’.” 
“It’s a thing Uvo.” Machi said, “You’re not supposed to see the bride a few days leading up to the wedding, especially the night before and day of.”
“Okay so you can have her tomorrow then.” He waves them off, going to grab your arm, but Machi cuts him off stepping in front of you.
“No, you can survive two days without her.” 
“Whaddya wanna do babe?” He focused on you, pretending not to hear the pink haired woman. 
Your mouth falls open as you glance between Uvo and Machi. Your chest flutters with discomfort being in the middle of a strange face-off, where you particularly didn’t want to see Uvogin perturbed with you if you agreed with the girls. “Um..” 
“The four of us are going to do something tonight.” Pakunoda steps in, her voice level like she were talking to an overly large toddler not getting its way. 
“Like what?” 
“None of your business.” She stared at the larger man down. 
“Well Y/N’s my business so, anything she does is my business.” 
“It’s bad enough we can’t force Phinks and Feitan to let us have their girls, but let the poor bride-to-be have a bachelorette party where nothing can possibly happen. Then she’ll be your wife in two days and you can dictate the rest of her life, how about that?” Machi huffs, annoyed, “Go bother Nobu if you get bored but we’re taking her.”
“Yeah, no you ain’t.” He went to push past her, but she shot a hand up pressing on his chest. 
“What do you want to do, Y/N?” Machi asked. 
“I- Uvo I would really like to spend time with them.” With a slowly ticking clock on your life due to the state of your health, you think you should say what you want. For a second you remember, like a little flicker at the back of your brain, times spent with friends shopping, movies, gossiping about boys. Makes your heart yearn for that type of connection again. Clarity seemed to leak into the depth of your mind the sicker you got. 
He frowned at you and time seemed to stop until he nodded, “Alright.”
“That was easy, thought we’d have to steal her in the middle of the night.” Shizuku said absentmindedly, which earned her a few glares. 
Uvo fretted over you before he let you go, fingers prodding along your delicate skin as if you were the most precious treasure, as if you’d break from one touch alone. 
“Behave.” His words come across as a warning but you hear the depth to it, the worry rather than a threat. 
“I always do.” You tease, moving to hug his thick, muscular torso. A small part of you wants him to scoop you up and lock you away with him, your heart beginning to panic at the idea of separating from him. Yet your mind told you to stay strong no matter how badly you wanted to melt right into him. 
Uvogin made a few more tiny threats towards the girls before he finally left, telling you he’d be at the Base. For a moment your chest twisted in pain knowing he’d be hours away, not working. You could survive being without him due to his job, but not knowing he was free.
So you stood in your townhome with Machi, Paku and Shizuku watching you. Sure, you considered them your friends at this point, slowly considered most members of the Troupe your friends. Yet you knew their loyalty to you was really loyalty to Uvogin, the help protecting you, keeping you healthy, keeping you happy- was all for him. While you’re sure they care for you as a person enough to make small talk, you’re Uvogin’s property through and through. But this moment as you debated what to do, made you want to feel hopeful. The three of them didn’t need to do this. It made no sense for them to fight with Uvo for days to let them host something. 
How Machi’s fingers dug into your bicep as you involuntarily took steps forward, 
“Don’t.”
You didn’t know how to be without him. Your body was slowly dying, and not the dramatic bullshit of aging. So perhaps it was quickly dying. The ever exhausting fog you lived in where all you had was Uvogin to care for you. His warmth disappearing from the room settled a chill and awareness. 
Machi has her normal blank expression, but she seems pleased when you nod, “So, what are we doing tonight?”
The looks exchanged made you wary. 
The devilish upturn of Machi’s lips makes you wonder if you should go run back to Uvo. But the part of you, stuck oh so deep down, that couldn’t rebel for years was overjoyed as it wretched its way out. 
“We are going out.”
“Out..?”
“You know, what normal girls do, dress up and get drunk, flirt with men.” 
You cringe at the last part, discomfort swirling in your gut. Normality. Normal girls. You play the words over and over, hearing her words echo as a harsh reminder. But also self reflection as these three weren’t normal either. Farther from it and yourself. Perhaps you nodded, agreeing to the location they wanted, because you’d missed out on so much. Though the sour taste in your mouth lingers as you all get ready as if it were any other night- that everyone in the Troupe was all aware of the fact Uvo kidnapped you. No one told him that he should reconsider, that it’d be selfish. But did you even want that? Would you have wanted Machi or Nobu to tell him to let you go? Because the thought makes your stomach flutter with wrenching nerves you don’t want to think about, as society’s version of normal wasn’t yours. And like that, you snapped back to the image staring back at you in the mirror, the girl chronically ill yet irrevocably in love with someone they shouldn’t be.
You look- strange. Yet you’re taken aback by the beautiful girl Paku had turned you into, makeup breathing life back into your sullen state. A flash of somebody else, a younger version of you reflected, prior to knowing what you’d become and with who. It’s nostalgic almost, thinking about the minimal times you’d gone to a bar with a coworker or an old school friend, how you debated over what to wear or how to do your hair. With Uvo it was simple- he didn’t care what was on your body, or if you had makeup, he controlled everything you could and couldn’t do and it simplified everything. 
The dress fit you like a glove, pushing cleavage up and you wanted to retreat into yourself.
The night sky preys down on you. Buildings feeling like they were closing in, the openness of the town, the fresh air felt like a jail. The fact you were in the open with options was suffocating, but you walked with your arm linked with Paku’s trying to save face. Trying to push down your insecurities and thoughts of Uvo getting angry with you. He’d never have let you wear this, never had let Machi push a shot of vodka down your throat prior to leaving. Thrilling. Yet terrifying. The best way to sum up what coursed through your veins while wanting to turn around at the same time. 
The lack of alcohol the last five or so years was clear, the shot made your cheeks tinged pink and a dazed smile on your lips. You tried hard now to sway as you walked and luckily the cool breeze against you the last few minutes helped to bring you back down. The taste of it was exhilarating- dancing on the edge of inebriation and the thoughts that came with it!
“I- Can’t.” You take a step back, “Too many people- I can’t.”
“Hey- Y/N.” 
You stare at the ground as you stumble back to some steps, letting the cold pavement press against you. Stuck inside yourself as your world spun you began to ramble, 
“I- Only people I’ve been around are the Troupe. No more than 12, never more. A-And Bates kept people away from me. No- No, too many. Feels suffocating, like I can’t breathe.” You look at them with terror written across your face, “Why are you all doing this for me? Because you know I’ll die? Or because you feel bad for me? Y-You know he kidnapped me, I’m not allowed to use phones or see my old friends, my family thinks I’m dead. Yet…” 
Machi crouches down to get eye level with you, “You deserve a night of freedom and fun you should have had. You’ve given all of us more kindness than we deserve all these years. And Uvo has never been happier in all the time we’ve known him. We want to repay it back before you die as his wife.” 
“We’ll take any backlash that comes of this, with your state Uvo wouldn’t dare to upset you.” Paku said, correctly inferring the nagging at the back of your mind that this would make him furious.
“You could get away with a lot more than you realize because he’s terrified of you dying, remember that.” Machi’s intensity bores into you in a way that makes you sit straight up. Either from the fact her nen could kill you in an instant or she was trying to instill you with a backbone. 
“How much longer do you have, Y/N?” Shizuku asked. 
“I… Don’t know.” You push your fingers against your temple, trying to stifle the weight of everything on your shoulders. The sting of the vodka still in the back of your throat, your eyes focused on the heels you wore. 
“A year at most, probably eight months.” Machi replied.
“Why- Why would Uvo be scared to upset me? Hasn’t stopped him before.” You flinch at the reminder of your impending doom, no matter how much you were coming to terms with it; It was Uvogin’s karma.
“With my non-professional medical guess, who's been there since the start, is that there’s so much medicine can do if you’re giving up. Uvo doesn’t want you to want to die, selfishly wants you to hang on for as long as possible even if you’re in pain.”
Oh. It felt like you hit a wall. A harsh wave of soberness and the realization of where you were, “I wondered, why it took him so long to think of marrying me? Did Bates love me more to go through those lengths? What did I do to deserve all this?”
No one spoke. It would have been hypocritical for them to, they were just as big of monsters as Uvo. That they didn’t need you looking at the situation from an outsider’s viewpoint anymore, a discomfort settled within their guts. 
“Can we- still go to that bar?” You ask, breaking the silence you caused. 
As much as you spilled to them unprompted, knowing your words wouldn’t spur them emotionally to do anything, you were always smart not to let anyone in on the doubt you felt. On the anxiousness since Bates, on the second guessing if your emotions for Uvo were real. You knew everyone would take it wrong, that you’d been indoctrinated or rebelling. 
Because hadn’t Uvo washed away every insecurity that made you doubt your love? All this hushed proclamations whilst his cock was buried in your guts. The small touches and the fact you no longer had to lift a finger. His ever permanent seeming presence. Right? Ringing struck up in your ears forcing you to shake it off, Right. Right. No question about it as you stared at the ring on your left finger. You were excited to be his wife, to further cement your love. You had to be. 
“Of course,” Paku said, “Let’s go. You can hold onto us as much as you need.” 
Everything was a blur after they helped you up from the step, urging you to forget about your woes. The line wasn’t a long wait before you’re stepping into what felt like an alternate dimension. Thick sweat-infused-air with the smell of alcohol, bodies shoved like sardines, and strobe lights beamed around. 
Music. Music! Oh it made you sway in utter glee as the bass reverberated in the depth of your soul. You felt like a fish out of water with your fingers intertwined with Paku’s, looking around the room like an awe struck child seeing the world for the first time. 
A glass was shoved in your hand and you indulged, then again, and again. Uncaring for the strength of the liquor or the overly sweet syrups, the taste of freedom was absolutely addicting. How you’d missed alcohol in all this time, you’d beg Uvo to let you drink again. Soon your vision blurred along with your doubts. 
It was tiring always worrying. Always wondering. Being on edge. Doubting. It made you suffocate and being able to let go was pure relief. Giggle and laugh with the three Troupe members like any other friend group would. Even if they weren’t as into or as relaxed as you, watching your every move, you didn’t mind. They were doing this for you.
Any man that approached you was shooed off with a threatening glance from Machi. You were encapsulated in a perfect bubble as you bounced around sucking down another tequila infused drink. Not caring that you didn’t know any of the lyrics because this was music you’d never heard before. When was the last time you’d listened to music? You stop as you warm, bodies pressing to you, and you realize you don’t know. 
You tug your dress further down your thighs, attempting to cover more. You falter in your steps and arms are on your waist in an instant. 
“Ready?” Shizuku stares through her glasses at you.
You nod. Was it late? How long had you been inside the club dancing to your heart's content as your mind went to mush. 
The air outside was frigid compared to your body’s temperature, to the red flush along your skin and sweat beading at your hairline. Hair a frizzy mess. Mascara smeared under your eyes with the glitter from atop your lids. You hadn’t smiled so big in so long, to the point your cheeks ached as you tried to skip along the paved sidewalks, giggling like a madwoman. Pakunoda never let you get far though, listened and responded to your entertainingly slurred words and statements. And how you slowly began to wear down, to slow in your steps as you wrapped an arm around her. Contentment resonated from you. 
They’re on edge first, you not noticing the sudden change in atmosphere. That the aura around you all dropped, anger seething through it. Three forms stood past the turn. One particularly large. 
Uvogin. Flanked by Nobu and Phinks, who looked more annoyed than anything. Yet it wasn’t them that brought concern, because Uvo looked halfway ready to destroy the local buildings. 
“The fuck are you all doin’? Thinking you can take my soon to be wife out to get drunk, take ‘er somewhere I don’t fucking know.” He’s rigid, a murderous aura surrounding him. Muscles flexing as his jaw locked. Oh Uvogin was a big and terrifying man yet you looked at him like the dark, bustling city was naught. 
“Uvo!” You squeal, delighted, your core flush with warmth as you don’t notice his anger. Your thoughts are screaming for him, chanting his name like a prayer because there he is! He’s suddenly in your sights, though you aren’t sure why there’s two of him, but all you want is to squeeze him, take him for yourself. The way his thighs squeezed against the fabric of his shorts you narrowed in on, thinking about running your hands against them, prodding into the skin. Massaging and kissing and moving to his thick co- your core goes warm, such liquid goodness that you can’t fathom being away from him any longer, your daydream making you go numb.
You push off Paku and skip over to Uvo, practically throwing yourself into him. Which he caught you with ease even without prior notice. You nuzzled into his warmth, feeling his calloused fingers run along your arms. You don’t feel how he tugged down your dress as it’d ridden up, or as he checked for any marks. And you certainly didn’t feel the genuine panic, terror past jealousy of you drunk around others. The fear of you out without him. Finding someone else more interesting upon realizing how much he’d taken from you. Living a life that didn’t include him. And if you wanted said life back over what you two built on the cracked foundations only help up on your (possibly) messed up sense of reality. 
“Hi baby.” Uvo said in a fairly choked back tone; his attempt to seem relaxed towards you while he was really seething. In his mind he had to blame his fellow Spiders, that this was on them, not you. 
“Want you.” You whined softly, eyes filled with heated want that bore into him. Your palms flat on his chest feeling his erratic heart beat like it was your lifeline, “Missed you.”
You don’t remember much, not as you swayed in his grasp, vision splitting your environment from doubles to triples. The hazed joy settled into a comfortable exhaustion as your eyelids drooped, uncaring for the voices that argued around you. It doesn’t matter that it’s getting heated, not to you, this night has been better than the stars above. Topped off with Uvogin at the end. As your head falls limp, knees buckling, your last drunken thought is on the wedding. 
Feeling your body beginning to go limp as you mewled into him, Uvo picks you up cradling you into him. Your touch grounded him. Your excitement to see him might have been what stopped a possible massacre powered by his anger and fists alone. You’d missed him terribly even when you had the whole world at your fingers, and he loved that. Filled him with a sense of pride. 
“We’re going.” Uvogin nodded to Nobu and Phinks.
“Good fucking thing I didn’t let my girl come. Will have to tell Feitan ‘bout this.” Phinks grumbled under his breath.
“We’re heading back to Base.” Nobunaga tells the girls, “Come if you want, will be a tight squeeze.”
The group began their departure, silence amongst a still bustling town. Tension thick enough to cut with a knife, trepidation building within a few of the Spiders. Strange looks from some, especially at the large man carrying a girl who looked like she had a rough night out. 
Soon buildings died out. Lights limited. Roads turning to dirt, fences showcasing expansive private overgrown property. Countryside came into view with a car waiting, as Phinks pulled out the keys. For a second they all share uncomfortable glances unsure how they’ll all fit, but one person in particular had a dark cloud above her.  
“Uvogin.” Machi said dangerously low, fists clenched and Shizuku ready to grab her if needed. “How long have you had her now, four years, or is it five? She’s not going anywhere she’s in love with you, as much as she’s able. She doesn’t know how to think without you telling her what to think about, nonetheless run away anywhere. Where would she go? She relies on you for everything and more, you are her life. And she’s happy about it I guess, babbled about you all night. She doesn’t have long and you know it, don’t let her go it’ll do more harm than good but… let her say goodbyes. Proper ones to those you took her from.”  
“No.” He responded without pause, “You’ve gone soft, Machi I’m surprised. I ain’t letting her out my sight from here on out, I’ll let Chrollo know I need a fucking sabbatical or something. You’ll be lucky if I let any of you see her again.” 
“She’d be upset about that.”
“Whatever.” 
“You say that now.” She knew he was bluffing, and of course he was. 
He squeezed your sleeping frame before settling into the passenger seat of the car, keeping you tight to him. He stared at your angelic form feeling his heart squeeze, “Don’t do something like this again. And one day maybe you might understand a sliver of what I feel for her and why I do what I do.”
Uvogin couldn’t fathom missing another one of your breaths. Not a single one. Because from here on out he’d claim them all as his. 
-
This was how it was meant to be- your wedding day- you realize as you stare at your reflection. You remember the attempted one with Bates felt like walking to your doom, while this time around with Uvo? It felt like you were walking through a floralled field surrounded by a thick lavender odor, heading towards the rest of your life. It felt right. 
A white gown flows along your emaciated body that has a faint golden sheen from the joy swirling within you. Excitement coursed in your veins as you finished final touches for your hair and makeup, relying on Paku heavily for assistance. 
It’s Fall, the orange and red leaves falling delicately around you as you carefully walk along a gravel path with grass laying flat from overuse. The cooling air filled with a cinnamon spice odor so acutely that of the lengthening nights as Hallow’s Eve was around the corner. Feeling wrapped in the comfort of your favorite season, a molten liquid spread as you inched closer and closer to the altar. Arm looped in Paku’s, a smile lives etched on your face as tears prick at your eyes, swirling sentient settling within. After much convincing, Uvogin agreed to an outdoor wedding at sunset, not being able to say no to you. The Trope had done an immaculate job at setting up a cozy venue
It was a whirlwind. Walking down the aisle to Uvogin. How he looked at you with misty eyes and utter happiness, looking devilishly handsome in a tailored suit, something you never imagined seeing him in. He towered over you with a powerful aura that made you feel safe. Nothing else existed when in Uvogin’s orbit. How his hands held yours, staring so intently like you were the entire world. That you were all that existed on this plane, that all he wanted was to whisk you away as soon as vows were shared. 
You were always his, but to Uvogin this tied you to him forever. Emotionally linked your cute self to him in a way that meant everything to you, while to him the title of marriage did little to change his feelings. It made your heart swell and your face beam with love, making this worth it in his eyes.  
And it was worth it to see you walking down the aisle to him. His pupils dilated, shoulders dropping, mouth quirked up at the sight of you in a white gown. An angel. His heart soared and he stood a tad straighter beaming with pride. 
Closer. Closer to him. Time seemed to slow as you both became so consciously aware of the other, of how your hearts raced in rhythm combining. Circulating souls, winding and meshing, flowing together like pieces of twine twisting and twisting. Paku handed you off to him and he’s lit with a burning need as your smaller hands slot into his perfectly. A necessity so pure, like a starving man who’d kill for his survival, burn the world to the ground to have you. 
Nothing else mattered besides you; not Chrollo who began the ceremony, not the eyes and pleasant words of the other Spiders and their partners (who stared hopeful at their lovers). 
Only your tears of merriment as you peered up at him like he was your savior, mattered. He was your salvation. The sweet words that left your lips as you cried through your vows with breathy laughs, built him up more and more. Uvogin’s vows were strong, filled with his promises of protection and love, his thinly-veiled apologies for the past and the excitement to continue as husband and wife. 
A faint cinnamon smell wafted on the breeze, heavy earthy-spice amongst the falling leaves. The sun is setting beyond the horizon. Dimming violet skies flourished as the ceremony ended- you in Uvogin’s arms as vows sealed with a kiss. A symphony of harmonious noises blurred out your surroundings, a deafening buzzing that should have made your stomach churn and your instincts blare red. Instead it’s elation that spurred your tunnel vision as you kiss your husband passionately uncaring for anything else. 
Maybe you were too far gone from the clarity you’d had, from the questions of Uvo’s real feelings you once picked apart. All of it drowned and stamped out. Glowing delight crammed into every vein and bone, to your most miniscule of nerves. Plugged up so thick with the taste of Uvogin that you’re almost drunk off his scent alone, off the way his eyes raked along your body. The thought of him looking and touching anywhere else made you want to die. Like he was the oxygen you breathed. A fresh intake of air seeping with amber and intoxicating caramel, the taste of a maple tree’s smoky bark going up your nostrils to the tip of your head. 
Dizzied by his musk. Dizzies as your mind buzzed like a million honey bees flew about in crazed circles. Unable to wipe the grin off your face as Uvogin picks you up Bridal style to carry you off. Marital bliss is already consuming the two of you whole, Uvogin’s aura a violent red as his chest swelled with possession. 
Every inch of Uvogin; from his flexing muscles to his grueling height where his toes tingle with want. He was wounded so tight. Chords pulling and pulling, fraying as they did, and any moment they’d snap. He’d snap. Flustering begins to control him and you can see it in his eyes. The fire. The lust. All of it.
Uvogin wastes no time getting to his corridor of the Base, since everyone wanted the loud man in his own area to reprieve them of his usual antics. 
And he wasted no time placing you on the bed with a thump, your giggles music to his ears. Pure joy shimmered across your features and it had been far too long since he’d seen it. Uvo relishes in it as he helps you out of the wedding gown (tries to help while you beg for him not to rip it). Because for the rest of the night he has plans that will keep you a mess on his cock as you cry and scream for more, drunk off overstimulation, none of your innocent happiness to be found. Only your reliance on him. Your need for him. 
You’re on your back faster than you can blink, Uvogin pulling you to the edge of the bed. On his knees between your thighs you watch him with insatiable lust clouding your eyes, your senses, sending little volts of electricity up your spine as his rough fingers traced the skin of your inner thighs. How he kneaded and stoked, your mewls and constant jerking making a devious look fall over him. 
“I ain’t gonna be nice, gonna fuck my pretty little wife til’ she can’t take it. Then I’m gonna keep going.” His breaths fans along your clothed cunt, your liquids beginning to soak through the white fabric. 
You nod, feeling the numb tingle of anticipation wash over your body. Your mind as if it hung out to dry, lust dulling your senses. 
The sudden onslaught of his tongue has you seeing stars. He knows exactly how to tease your entrance to make you squirm and gasp, knows how you like how he oscillates his long tongue inside you to pull out an orgasm. Stroking your inner thighs so playfully and feather like, 
“Uvo- pl-please!” You beg, fingers yanking at his scalp. You need him like you need oxygen to breathe. Your senses are so dull, the air smelling thick of your juices and sex, a tangy musk that is sweet because it’s because of your love for him that you feel this way.
“Need somethin’?” The vibrations of his deep voice sent shivers up your spine, your mind spinning in lust as with a flick of his tongue, the way it then drags along your folds brings you back to your high. 
Sobbing for him as you snap, squirt dribbles and he laps it up, sucking your engorged clit to make you shake. To make you tremble and jerk and try to push his face away as slurping noises fill the room. 
“Ne-ed you!” You sob, “In me!” Your head is spinning and all you can think about is having his cock stretching you out. 
He relinquishes with a final kiss above your clit, pulling to strip himself of his clothes.
Uvogin is more than aware of the size difference between you two, you’re so small beneath him, just so cute laying in awe at his naked hulking body as his hand goes to stroke his godly length. You’re so tiny, so breakable and while he is always as careful as a man like him can muster, right now all he wants to do fragment you into a thousand little pieces. 
“You’re so damn tiny, wife.” Blood rushes to his cock, hardening it even more as the tip leaks precum swollen and red. The way his hand engulfs parts of your leg as he gropes makes him burn and he knows he can’t hold back much longer. 
“You want this fat cock in your tight cunt? You wanna be nice and full, all stretched out? Gonna take all I give you?” 
“God yes, Uvo.” You keen, “Please, fill me.”
“Who do ya belong to, wife?” His eyes darken as he lines his cockhead up to your dripping entrance. 
You squirm and moan lewdly, unable to focus as pleasure grinds at your core, “Y-You Uvo! My husband, I’m yours- your wife- yours.” You babble as his swollen tip continues to tease you. 
“Cunt is mine.” He thrusts in fully, a silent scream escapes you as your eyes roll back. Uvogin’s cock pulses and he groans in pleasure, muscled legs trembling as his nerves are shot full of an addictive high from your body, “Tits are mine.” He engulfs one of your breasts in his hand, thumb rubbing over a pebbled nipple. “Whole damn body is mine. Your fucking mind is mine, I own you.” His thrusts turn erratic, slapping skin reverberates in the room as your little pussy takes his ginormous size and violent force behind each fuck against your cervix.
Already a mess, you’re easy to move, easy to morph as Uvo adjusts you on the bed. Angle was just right, your ankles held down at your head and his hips just so to drive into you so deep you won’t be able to walk. Your orgasm blossoms as squirt juts from your hole as Uvogin’s long cock spreads you too wide and too deep, the pain electric and overwhelming but your hips shake. 
“You’re so pretty baby, so damn good takin’ me like this.” He grunts, throwing his head back as he continues to fuck into you, his balls slapping against your ass. “I love ya, love how you squeeze me. You want my cum this bad? I’ll give it to you, get you nice and full from it. Take me deeper now, you can do it, yeah?” 
His vulgar words are disoriented in your ears but they make you feel obscene, make you smile sordidly with tears in your eyes, and nod like your life depended on it. 
You’re lost in his wicked aura. Your wedding night lived up to all you would have hoped for it, as your dress lay discarded and you were folded in different positions as your husband drove the both of you to pleasured highs again and again. Heavy spurts of come coated your insides, too much so that it trickled out and painted your thighs, painted the sheets. Again and again he plugged you with his cock and filled you with heavy grunts, letting you feel the hot come shooting out from him for far too long, far too much that you could almost taste it in your throat. He hit every sensitive spot you loved that made you feel mushy and braindead, just a reliant little thing on him. 
You couldn’t take it anymore. You could barely hold your head up or moan how much you loved him and his cock. Your eyelids grew heavier, while your body shook from the continued rapture. 
Uvogin kissed you so lovingly, so much so that it hid his true malicious intents you couldn’t understand in your fucked out state, “I got you baby, gonna let me use you?”
You nod. Smile like a drunken idiot, and go lax. You feel every thrust, every pulse and curve of his cock, each slap against your ass, each kiss, lick, grope along every open inch of skin. You knew this was heaven. Heaven as he pushed you to your chest, hiking back your ass and slamming in. Your poor cunt quivered, gaping wide from his girth as his come leaked out, lower tummy inflated and Uvogin watched you with a glint in his eyes, and he couldn’t keep his emotions in. He let out a monstrous roar, one the brute was known for, and he let you take every inch of him uncaring if you broke or said it was too much. But you took it. You always did. Even if your gummy walls tried to force him out, tried to tighten up too much but he’d always push past the defenses to claim you and feel your clamping cunt as it came, as it squirted. And god as he’d toy with your aching clit he’d see you spasm even in your passed out state.
His fingers gripped your hips, they’d leave bruises he’d stare at proudly tomorrow. And he knows more marks will follow, he needs to mark you, to show anyone who you belonged to on all open parts of your skin. Your eyelids were finally permanently closed at this point, once done-up hair a mess, makeup all smeared. Tiny mewls all that escaped your parted lips. Yet your pussy still squeezed him like a vice, milking him for all it was worth begging for more, “Still so fucking needy for me aren’t ya? Don’t worry I’ll fill you all night till I got nothing left, you know your husband will always take care of you.”
-
Uvogin could never help himself when it came to you from the second he laid eyes upon you. His feelings are too intense and overpowering of his superb fortitude, years of destruction and rigidness in his work. And it took awhile the first few months before he took you because he adored who you were, and did not want you to become a shallow version of yourself. But he always knew it was his job to protect you as your friend turned captor, turned partner, turned husband. 
What type of man was he if he couldn’t keep his love safe? He’d spent years diligently watching over you, even going as far as to check your body for harm. Make sure you ate well, slept enough, and had a good amount of things to keep you mentally entertained. He knew you like the back of his hand and it was why he struggled from the start when you couldn’t get healthy. But with his mind set on it, it would happen, he was sure. 
Uvogin wasn’t always suited for tough conversations when it came to you, overall happy with everything. Never complaining about not being able to contact anyone outside the Troupe or go outside without him or an escort. You stopped going stir crazy after accepting your feelings for home were true all those years ago, loving his clingy touches and loud humor. 
But as the weeks went on after the wedding, your state got worse. And so did his helplessness, the gut feeling that he was still not doing enough. His optimism wore on himself as much as it did you. 
Everything about you makes his heart race at such a speed he wonders if one day you’ll give him a heart attack. Simply based on his overly obsessive actions and thoughts, his every waking being is all for you. 
“Uvo, stop it.” You swat at his large hand that held a protein bar, “I’ll just throw it up. Don’t wanna.”
So maybe it was all coming to head after almost two years. Exasperation with the situation that turned into taking it out on the other. More or less you wanted a break from the pity, the treating you like a little porcelain doll by your lover. 
“You gotta eat, babe. Can’t survive off that baby food shit.” He sighed referencing the nasty apple sauces, ground up food into weird shakes that made him gag. 
“Better than nothing.” You murmur, staring aimlessly at the blankets you sat under.
Uvogin ran a hand through his hair, feeling disgruntled by your frail form not even looking at him. He moved towards the bathroom, dropping the bar in the trash. He wants to scoop you up, pin your chest to the mattress to fuck into you to hear you chant his name. 
He doesn’t mean to snap at you. But god he can’t fucking stand to watch what you’re doing, because he’s not stupid. He missed his girl, her smiles and snark, how she’d be equally all over him as he was towards her. His best friend and lover wrapped up in one. While he wasn’t cruel, swore if you were in pain then so was he, but he was tired of this push and pull. 
“You’re giving up.” His words come out harsher than he intended, but the bitterness bubbling up his throat spurred them on.
“Stop.” 
You wipe at your eyes because of the sudden tear that fell down your cheek. His words feel like a painful stab to the gut. 
“I can’t- I won’t watch you die, Y/N. Not even thinking about what this is doing to me. I can’t be without you.”
Anger filled you but you couldn’t breathe, dry heaving through your sudden sobs that hit you like an avalanche, “Doing to you? I’m the one dying, Uvogin. I’m the one in pain every day and every breath.”
He flinched at the usage of his full name. 
“Let me die, please it hurts so bad and I have fought. Fought for you, for us but I’m so tired. You need to let me go so you can move on with your life rather than be stuck as my caretaker.” Desperation laces your words, all you want is for him to hold you in his arms. Not for him to stand by the door with a faraway look. The sorrow on his features and the regret swirling in his eyes. You know he’s hurting, but this is destroying you.
“Is that what you think?” His fists clench, muscles going taut as they strain against his shirt, “That you’re a burden? That I’m better off without you? I take care of you because I love you, not out of some stupid fucking caretaker duty I’m obligated to.” 
“But aren’t you? You are the one who kidnapped me, you have to care for me or throw me to the curb if I’m not fulfilling my duties.” You spat, and you don’t regret the words as they slap him in the face making it twist in a dark glare. 
His brows pinched together, lips purse as he exhaled jadedly. The fierce mocking chuckle spewing out made your blood run cold, “We going there?”
“Maybe we should. We never have properly, always joking about it because it worked out for us. I downplayed what you did because you always respected me, kept me as me. Didn’t force me to fuck you, or be with you. And we always had amazing rapport even before that.” The aggravation of talking to him like he was a non-receptive 8ft plus wall made you want to rip your hair out. Not a flash of any emotions on his face leaving you to reel and second guess. 
“What’s the point of this babe? Gonna start throwin’ shit at me again? Begging me to let you go?”
“No!” You sit up straight, rolling your shoulders back feeling frustration and the sudden want to rip your hair out, “I love you. Only way I’ll ever want to leave is if you no longer feel the same, or if you hurt me. But jesus Uvogin, put yourself in my shoes even with your limited fucking ability to empathise. Because sometimes I wonder if you love me the way I love you, or if I have fucking stockholm syndrome!”
“What do you want me to say?” 
“The truth, how you really feel.” You press, almost as if you wanted him to snap. You’re tired of half truths, of him dumbing everything down like you’re a child.
“The truth?” His eyes narrowed as his chest thumped, felt like his insides were turning inside out in absolute agony, “Truth is I feel fuckin’ useless and you no longer care about living. You are leaving me, you’ll be dead. And now I’m hearin’ you think your feelings are fake? What a fucking time this is.”
“How am I supposed to not die, Uvogin? Tell me. I sleep all day, take handfuls of pills, IV for fluids. My body is rejecting it all and you don’t care that I’m in pain, you care more about having me around so you can get off.”
An explosion of red aura escapes him with a growl, his fist coming down on the closest piece of furniture. You gasp, heavy sobs returning as you recoil in ear. Realizing what he’d done, he tried to approach you, but you cried for him to stay away. Fear. Dizzied confusion written on you and Uvogin doesn’t know how to take it away. Not even the first few months after taking you, had you looked at him like that. And it made him want to die. 
“Y/N, M’sorry. Fuck. You’re my life, I love you. You aren’t some fucktoy to me, you’re the reason I breathe. And I’m so scared of the day I gotta live without you. It’s no excuse, but please. Would never hurt you, you’ve gotta know that right?”
You stare at him. Blank. Fingers gripping the blankets you used as a shield until your  knuckles turned white. Wet streaks falling down your face, off your jaw staining the fabric. 
“By begging me to stay alive… You are hurting me.” You whisper, but he can hear. 
“Fine,” He growls needing to leave your presence before he lashed out more, “Then you got my fucking permission to die, wife. I’m done.” 
He spares you no other glance as the door slammed behind him. You’re left trying to pick up the pieces, pick apart his words. Unable to hold back the flood of sorrow that seeped out, hysterical, airy cries as you heave. Pathetically quivering as you hugged yourself, slowly rocking back and forth atop the bed as it sets in. You think he means he’s done, he doesn’t want you, this is him washing his hands of you and your fate. 
You call for him, his name falling onto nothing, sniveling and blubbering like a mess. The air suffocates you, thick as it wrung you out. Dull skin prickling like a thousand needles inserting within you. Searing pain behind your brows and temples as it felt like your head was being crushed as your eyes went puffy and red.
Stuck in limbo staring at the wall. For months you’d been living under pitying glances, careful words, and locked up in an ivory tower of protection against the world. Even yourself. 
Your actions not your own as you move like a woman possessed, a ghost haunting the halls of its resting place. How you dressed for the colder weather outside the Base, discarding the disaster of splintered wood Uvogin left during his outburst. You moved with whimsical intent and glazed over eyes. In a trance as you padded along the eerily quiet halls then the main room, not a Spider in sight. Not that they could have stopped you, or even noticed as Uvogin’s screaming caused them to scatter. Pity as they had no choice but to listen as his deep voice echoed through every cranny spewing hurtful words.
Nobody stopped you as you opened the door to the outside. As you stand in the doorway contemplating stepping out, you realize it’s the first time you’ve been able to go somewhere without permission, with your own autonomy. With that you leave, crossing an invisible boundary that leaves you feeling lighter.
You walk, slow, stumbling as your lungs struggle to adapt. 
Unable to get far, you collapse unto a patch of grass, overlooking an expansive patch of trees overgrown with weeds and vines. 
On replay in your mind is the fight you’d just had with Uvogin, how his words sliced you deep. How he struggled with your pain, and how you spent too much time keeping your thoughts from him to ease his own. A selfish feat. But they were fearful, self deprecating thoughts that plagued you day in and out. The heaviness of accepting an eventual death that could be at any turn. The realization of your complacency and how the doubt Bates’s kidnapping of you set a spiraling turn of events. That you doubted your love feeling anxiety over his touch or telling him those three words- and how it made you selfish. More than ever. That you now saw Uvogin’s actions in the evil, manipulative light they were, and you did not care. Not anymore. His charismatic, strong nature over you was irrevocably his property, his wife, and this would have happened kidnapping or not. 
The cold, you feel yourself becoming one with it as your shallow breaths exhale fog around you. Your body feels numb as your pulse slows at an alarming pace. It’s comforting, serenely quiet before a high pitched noise sounds in your ears. The scenery is beautiful, you admire it as your eyelids droop, this was a good place to pass. To rest. The sky so blue, the sun high and bright, alluding to a perfect Summer day yet you shiver from the almost freezing temperature. 
You hear footsteps approaching and you hope it’s Uvo, that he’d get on his knees and beg for your forgiveness, that he’d make it up to you. But it’s not and you almost laugh, maybe he really did mean he was done with you. 
“Chrollo?” You jolted back to reality at the sight of the Phantom Troupe leader, at first having thought the figure was imaginary. In all these years you never conversed much, Uvogin having said the passing of his wife permanently altered him. 
“Y/N, dear.” His tone is gentle. He approaches and you see the heavy coat and blanket he carries.
“Don’t.” You stammer, “I’ve made my choice, I ask you to respect it. Just make sure he’s okay once I die. I used to think he deserved it after everything, after taking me but- god,” You let out an insane sounding laugh, “I don’t want to leave him, but I can’t live like this. Coughing up my lungs, blood, always tired, unable to eat. My body is giving out on me.”
“When I lost her, I thought my life was ending.” Chrollo laments, closing in on you to wrap you in the warm fabric. He takes a seat beside you, “It did. I’m forever stuck, unable to move on. And truly? I am okay with it. But there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for any members of the Troupe so they never have to experience the magnitude of losing your wife.”
“I understand but-”
“I want you to tell me what it is you truly want. If you could have one wish.”
You respond instantly, not needing to think of your answer, “To be healthy and live the rest of my life with Uvo.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I believe you.” Chrollo sighed, “I wanted to respect your wishes but I had a feeling you were accepting the path of a martyr as all roads appeared exhausted. I found someone, a skilled doctor from another continent who has treated and helped patients with symptoms similar to or more extreme than yours. He likes the challenges of strange chronic illnesses.”
You straighten, an invisible weight feeling like it’d been lifted off of you. Your mind is short circuiting however, as if you’d been unplugged. You’d had to come to terms with your impending doom after a multitude of medical avenues were taken at no expense. But Chrollo’s outreach must have been intense, it must have taken ages to discover if you’re only now hearing of it. 
Hope rushed into you. A re-ignited fire burning bright within, making the idea of living another day plausible. Something you wanted. 
“Does Uvo know? Where is he? He left me I… Thought he was done. That he didn’t want me-”
“I sent Feitan to find him, I wanted to talk to you first. The doctor is already on his way. I did not want to waste time if you agreed. And if you truly wanted to rest for eternity, I’d have sent him back.”
“How.. But the Troupe- please don’t kill him after.”
“No, it would be a waste. He is miniscule as a threat to us, I actually thought him to be dead all these years. I knew him briefly in Meteor City, he would come to treat the children.”
“Ah.” Knowing the doctor wouldn’t die for helping you released you from any possible qualms you’d have had, “Chrollo?”
“Yes?”
“I appreciate it, and I apologize for making you come out here.”
“Do not. Uvogin should be the one apologizing to you.” Chrollo stands with ease, then helps you stand, “I wouldn’t let him off easy, while we all deal with things in our own way, he’d have always regret walking out on you if it were the final time. We should never take time with our loved ones for granted. I am only glad I could find a possible solution for you.”
You’re swelling with appreciation, genuine happiness that you don’t think you’ve felt since the wedding. And before that? Prior to your initial pneumonia diagnosis almost 18 months ago. And definitely prior to Bates. With the burst of joy through your veins you want to throw your arms around Chrollo and thank him profusely some more, but that’s not something you’re physically capable of. Your legs can hardly hold you upwards as you two walk, him having to keep a firm grasp on your waist and arm in case. Slowly the path turned into the walkway for the Troupe’s base, the walking time taking practically double what it should have. But that’s okay, you’re too filled with ambition dreaming about having a normal functioning body once more even if Uvogin still wants to be done with you. 
Your teeth chatter, tips of your extremities a bright red from the chill. Unable to stop shaking even from the sudden heat inside. 
Chrollo helped you into your bed in Uvogin’s room, telling you he’ll have Machi swing by. The warmth of the room and the mound of blankets covering you, it’s suddenly easier to sleep than ever. For now you let yourself dream about good health, about treatments working, but still worry scraped the back of your mind when it came to your husband. Burning deep in your gut at the thought of your vows meaning nothing. As you begin to drift off–  
You hear a deep voice yelling laced with panic. Uvogin sounded ready to rage, to throw furniture across the room, you could picture the anger radiating from him through his tone. Because his words are hazy to you, and even as the door bursts open you’re unable to look. The feeling of large hands combing along your cool skin was the last thing you felt before falling into darkness. 
Uvogin shudders in relief as he watches your chest rise then fall. Your wind stained cheeks still pink as his thumb dragged along your face. He’s coming down from an intense adrenaline fueled high, his heart hammering in his chest ready to burst. How angry he’d been as Nobunaga followed hot on his trail attempting to put reason into him. And how Feitan appeared out of thin air with a look mixed with pity and contempt, saying Chrollo needed him for an emergency. How his stomach dropped filled with nauseating butterflies as his mind jumped to you, that him storming out left you vulnerable. That you fucking died somehow, as he’d let you think he was done. His selfishness towards his lack of control wracked him with guilt as he raced back to the Base. 
But instead Chrollo awaited him with a stern lecture even as he tried to push back yelling for you, body screaming for you to be against him. Yet Chrollo sat there amused over his idea to let Uvogin’s thoughts run rampant to a worse case scenario, sickeningly wanting him to feel the sorrow, the agony of losing you to get it through his thick head this wasn’t all about him. Then the leader informed him of the doctor on his way, giving one final effort to help you. 
“I’m so sorry.” 
Uvogin repeated as he pressed wet kisses to your skin, inhaling your scent like it was his own personal drug. His addiction to your frame in his as the bed creaked when he joined you under the blankets. 
How tiny you are compared to his monstrous form, precious and fragile as you subconsciously nuzzled into his warmth even in a half conscious slumber. He can feel all the cold that rattled you melt from your body due to his own heat, how you no longer shuddered as you fell further limp with relaxation. Little mewls escaping your lips. The jerk reaction of your leg twitching as you murmured something under your breath. Not quite actual words but always made his lips quirk. 
“Uvo?” You exhale with a smacking of your lips, a whimper as you attempt to shift. Arms and legs trembling as you stretch out waking from your quick douse of sleep, “You’re back?” 
Your delicate lashes flutter as you languidly look about. 
“Do… You still want me?” 
Oh his heart shattered from your frail words as you rubbed at your eyes, eyes glittering from the wetness in your lash line. Your bottom lip trembling that all Uvogin can do to show you his devotion is press a chaste kiss to you. 
“Always.” He grunted before deepening his lips against yours with force, slipping his tongue inside your mouth to taste and to claim. 
You gripped his bicep, head spinning from the suddenness of his stealing your breath. Now suffocating in his warmth, his scent, and his touch as you lose yourself in the pleasure running down your spine. Emotions all over. Anger at him for leaving, for yelling. Relief he’d come back. His hands roam underneath your clothes to lay ownership over your body, a heavy groan vibrating into you as he tugged you closer. If it were even possible. He’d tie you to him if he could, keep you glued to him, be inside you to be molded as one. 
As you become more aware, your feelings of betrayal towards him coming back, you push on his pectorals. And when he doesn’t budge you push again harder, words laced with venom shooting from your mouth. 
“I want you off me.”
He looked like a kicked puppy, surprised as he pulled away. Someone so big with his bulking muscles looked like he wanted to shrivel up before he regained his senses, then attempted to entrap you in his arms.
“You don’t get to crawl into bed and kiss me after what you said. Would you have come back? Would you be this happy if Chrollo didn’t tell you about the doctor?”
“Baby.” He murmured miffed as you squirmed from his grasp, “I-”
“He found me outside, I was so cold and lost, going to just die there.” Uvogin’s face twists to something unreadable and devastating, but you continue, “He asked me what I wanted. If I would accept help from one last doctor, it would be okay if I said no. Uvo I’ve had to come to terms with all of this on my own, you’ve always been so convinced it would be okay. But don’t you understand we were out of options? We have limited time, all I wanted was to rest, to enjoy whatever I had left with you. Yet you storm off. I know it’s been taxing for you but I have tried so hard to stay alive.”
You don’t want to cry, you don’t want him to see you suffer more. You get up from the bed, seeing how his arm twinged as he held himself back from grabbing you, Uvogin was smart enough to understand times you needed autonomy to stick it in your head that you had a semblance of control.
“And I am going to do whatever it is this doctor wants to try, but if it doesn’t work you need to accept that I’m letting fate have its turn with me.” 
It felt like an eternity as you and Uvogin stared into the depths of the others eyes, watching every movement the large man could make. The apprehension in his body language as the gears turned in his head put you on edge. For he was stubborn. 
“Alright.”
Alright. He says it like it’s a defeat but offers a faint smile to follow it up. You sigh from the comfort it brought you, physically allowing your shoulders to relax from where you stood. The bed served as a thick barrier between you physically, but the expanse there mentally was like a cavern. 
“Uvo.” You sniffled, lips quivering as the necessity for him brought you to tears. But you couldn’t, wouldn’t as you remembered his words from earlier.
“C’mere baby.” 
“No.” 
He says nothing though you have ideas what he’s debating doing. 
“I can’t. Not after what you said. How willing you were to tell me to die, then walk away.”
From words spoken out of quick anger, Uvogin watched as the relationship cultivated between you two seemingly came crashing down. A thread wound so tight, pulling and pulling for months, finally snapped. And he knows he needs to patch it back up as quickly as possible, get you back into his orbit. 
He groans into his hands, pushing against his cheeks running his fingers against his skin down to his jaw, eyes moist. An incredulous look flashed across his face as his mouth opened then closed, then opened back up to speak but with no words to follow. 
A standstill, you wipe at your tears, “I think we need some time apart.”
“No. Absolutely not, you’re out your fuckin’ mind if you think I’m leaving your side.” From confusion to immediate discontent, his chest overflowing with annoyance at your stupidity thinking he’d give you space.
“But you did. Earlier.”
Uvogin had nothing to retort back for once as his brows pinched together. His thick fingers flexed as he focused on containing his growing temper he felt towards himself, the divide he put between you two. 
“And I fucked up. Got no excuse for my behavior besides I was pissed, I know I’m big and breaking shit around you isn’t the answer. Walking away won’t fix it but I had to leave before I did anything I’d regret. Couldn’t scare you further or risk hurting you. The thought of me being the reason you’re ever hurt makes me fucking ill, I’d rather break every bone in my body. I love you, and I’ll prove it to you every single day over and over if I gotta. But I’m not giving you space.”
It’s the most genuine apology that’s ever left his lips, has you warm inside and brain flitting to accept immediately. You see and hear the regret, it pulls at your heart making your stomach flutter with butterflies. He knew exactly what you needed to hear but this time around he said nothing he didn’t mean in an attempt to sway you back into his arms. He was a truthful, passionate man overall, only straying when absolutely necessary in keeping you happy with him. And he sees you perk up. Knows he’s got you.
“I’ll hold you to that.” It’s hard to hide the twinkle in your eyes, the involuntary upturn of your lips, or your reddened face because of him. How you know you’re giving in to him too easily and that you should make him work for it more. Get on his knees and beg, maybe do a few things while down there too. 
Because against better judgment you’re across the room and straddling the expanse of his large hips. Your lips desperately pressing into his uncaring for the way your lungs throbbed within you, not until you’re pulling back. A coughing fit comes over you, heavy and mucus filled, from the depths of you making you shudder. Uvogin holds you, petting your back as you hack against his chest. Burning. You felt so hot it was almost unbearable as the intake of any air was torturous for your frail body. 
He sighed into your hair, listening to your erratic pulse, “My sweetest girl. I got you. No matter what happens with this doctor, I’m here.” 
And you believe him, whether or not out of necessity. It doesn’t really matter anymore. 
You fall into a strange cycle with him the following days. Uvogin becomes your ever present, ever hovering gigantic shadow that moved precisely when you did. His intense gaze feels like a permanent fixture upon you, watching, assessing every move you made. From the food you consumed so that it was up to his standards of health, to taking over shaving your legs, to not letting a single person touch you besides himself… It brings you back to the first year you spent with him before the relationship blossomed, to how robotically he controlled your life. 
Pieces of you wanted to brush him off, punish him as exasperation boiled within you. Unable to push his hands away without a glare. His gigantic form pressing against you constantly.
But this was different, you had to believe so. He was scared to lose you. Bad enough you wandered outside with him knowing because he stormed off, almost leaving you to freeze to death. So day in and day out you're met with an onslaught of kisses and tender touches along with his over-protective barrage. In your soul you feel it though, the light at the end of the tunnel slowly approaching. Just what that light was- you weren’t certain.
-
Two weeks later on the dot does Chrollo arrive with the mysterious doctor in tow. You’re nervous sitting atop the table in the small infirmary in the Troupe’s basement. You remember the medicinal scent from the one other time you’d been down here and it makes you squirm, palms sweating as you fiddle with Uvogin’s fingers. . 
Uvogin had pulled a chair to be beside you, a large hand engulfing one of your own as the doctor carefully looked you over, taking vitals, and a few vials of blood. You’d pouted at the sight of the needles, begging Uvo for some help which only brought a wicked grin to his face. You knew he liked how hard you’d squeezed him as blood was drawn, making a face at the nauseous feeling it brought. He’s trying so hard to keep your spirits up and you daresay it’s working?
Things had been strange, more tense in some ways, Uvogin seemingly walking on eggshells around you. Scared to upset you. Overly doting if that were even possible for the clingy man who would choose to spend time with you over Troupe business. (Which took you far too long to realize how serious he was the first time he told you that.)
“I’m going to run these tests I need real quick. I need to be able to count out a few possibilities to confirm what I think our path is. My nen will speed up the process so sit tight.” The doctor, who was a short man with an overgrown beard, said offering a kind smile. 
“Thank you.” You take a sharp breath in and glance at Uvo. The door clicked close, leaving the two of you to sit in heavy silence.
You watched him slowly kiss your knuckles one at a time, expelling the unruly feelings of obsessive jealousy coursing through him. His overly possessive nature regardless of your health, hated the doctor’s hands on you. Was grounding himself as his lips dragged along your skin, “Feeling okay?” 
“Nervous. Hated describing everything I’ve dealt with, though I know he needed to hear it.” You sighed. The insurmountable effort to get out of bed each day was wearing you down, at this point you’re surprised you’re able to at all. Mornings begin with faint cries and whimpers as Uvo helps you up. Then you stay placated in the same spots, droning away at whatever is shoved in front of you. And night time was when your bones could relax and mind could have its reprieve from the constant synapses shooting aching pain through you. 
You didn’t speak much as butterflies spurred from Uvogin’s invasive touching, continuing to claim parts of you as his own as you wait. But there was a twisting past the sparks he made you feel, one dreadful and sickening. A wandering mind down alleyways of deceit telling yourself there’d be no magical cure or good news; that you’d spend your remaining time wasting away in suffering. 
Eventually the door creaked open and the doctor strode in, head stuck in a clipboard, “Alright.”
You’re sitting straight, electricity shooting through your spine. Uvo tenses next to you, his grip on your thigh tightening ever so slightly.
The diagnosis was in the air of what you’d expected. Pneumonia from the time before Bates kidnapped you never properly healed. It expanded into more. Your respiratory tract was giving up and the rest  of your body did too. It wouldn’t be long before you’d begin coughing up blood per the doctor, the statement shaking you to your core.
“I see antibiotics have not done much, which are always the first line of defense. Which I believe a more aggressive track should be taken.” 
“And what is that?” Uvogin asked in a low voice, fringing on threatening. 
“I would like to put you into a medical nen induced coma.” 
“No.” 
“Uvo.” You grab his wrist as a silent plea, “He’d know better than us on treatment.” 
Your insistence has Uvogin backing down, as in his body physically relaxing. His muscles twitch in the arm you grasp. 
“I have seen and treated 3 cases of hemoptysis or pneumonia successfully this way. And have studied cases of past colleagues too. We are in the unique situation where my nen would be the driving factor rather than what a normal hospital would use. Your body would be given complete rest, no need to fight each day to walk or eat, or even rest. It would give your white blood cells the ability to fight this intense infection. This has turned a lung infection into something chronic, this is the only route that makes sense to take.”
“How long will the coma be for?” You race to articulate your swarming thoughts. They’re all jumbled due to your lack of medical understanding and the fear seeping in. But between you and Uvo, you need to be calm so he is. Because when it came to you, any sense went out the window. 
“Two weeks. But I would be able to tell from test results if you’d need longer. Then afterwards for 3 months there’d be a strict regimen of pills.”
You take a deep breath in, “And if this doesn’t work?”
The doctor gives you a solemn look, which you understand, “Then we’d want to make you comfortable.” 
It was a scary thought. Going to sleep and not waking up one day. One that you’d rather prefer than a malicious death, like torture at the hands of Feitan. While you feel confidence in this doctor, in that you’d wake up from the nen coma, it’s what comes after that makes bile churn in your gut. 
The doctor wants to put you into the coma pronto. 
Uvogin wants to argue, you see the fire in his eyes, the desperation on his face. The silent anger vibrates in him as he wants to scoop you, his wife, up and leave. His silent pent up feelings of failing you coming to the surface. 
He holds your hand as your body goes limp. The pink glow of the doctor’s nen cocooning you inside, not allowing Uvogin to touch you. He hates it. 
The days go painfully slow. 
An hour felt like twenty. 
The first week felt like a year. 
Uvogin was more combative than normal, aggressive with his words when he used them. Abnormally quiet but everyone knew to steer clear of him. Leaving your side was an absolute no-go for the large man, needing to watch every delicate breath to prove to himself you’re still breathing. 
If someone like Uvogin was truly capable of true self reflection- he probably would have during this time. Sure, his mind occasionally filled him with doubt, if his life choices were some fateful cause of your doom. Much like his thoughts had when Bates had you, at least this time he had his eyes on you. 
When the second week finally came to an end and the doctor confirmed it was safe for you to be woken up, that your vitals showed drastic improvement, Uvogin was elated. 
How endearing it was as you whined, eyes fluttering as you struggled to wake. Limbs heavy as you reach in the air through blurry vision, attempting to claw at your face. How you mewled for him relishing in his suffocating touch, fueling his protective instincts more than ever. 
You properly wake to lips against your own, stealing your breath before moving to your jaw. Through heavy eyelids you can make out the side of Uvo’s head, then threading a hand through his wild locks. You can feel his burning lips kissing, the nipping down your neck as he sucks the delicate skin between his teeth to leave marks. A fast sigh of pain leaves your lips as a jolt inside you grounds you to your surroundings. 
“Uvo?” You croak, voice betraying you as it doesn’t sound like your own. Throat dry and hoarse, it hurts to speak so you don’t. 
He doesn’t respond to you right away, Uvogin groping and squeezing at your skin. Swirling heat envelopes your weary limbs, sweat pooling along your hairline as your core goes flush with molten liquid. Sleep still dragged on your eyelids. You could barely move your own legs from the exhaustion and traces of medical nen pricking along you.  
Your legs move, Uvogin spreading your thighs wide. The bed creaks as his weight presses on it. His body exudes searing heat. Burning you as you squirm and mewl about the heavy fog weighing down on you. Chest heavy, heart hammering so much that you hear the blood pounding in your ears as you swallow in anticipation. 
The feeling of your nightgown hiking makes you gasp. Your panties peeled off your form felt like jabs of knives down your numbly tingling skin. 
Uvogin’s thick cockhead prods at your folds, “Fuckin’ hell your soaked. Thinkin’ of me in your dreams?” He chuckled cruelly. 
You whimper as a moistness between your legs fill you with shame, his words only prodding it further. 
Mind lit in static fire, blue and orange with smoke paralyzing your brain as your hips jerk to meet his involuntarily. Body blistering from head to toe, confusing lust settled in you as you feel a pained stretch through your smoky mind. 
“Fuck you’re tight.” Uvogin grunted as he sank his cock further. 
He’s splitting you apart. You cry out, a ghastly moan as your walls spasm around the large length forcing its way in. Dazed and overwhelmed. Impossibly full before you could properly register you were even alive. That you’d been in a coma for two weeks. That now, your poor cunt was shoved full of cock and your stomach expanded as Uvogin grunted with each vicious inch he pushed further in. Fingers seized at his biceps nails drawing blood, toes curled as your legs trembled with feathery pleasure whilst all you felt was unnatural. 
You’re being pushed and pulled every which way, caught in a dangerous undercurrent that shows no reprieve to let you swim upwards. Extraordinary pleasure blossoms within you, petal by petal unfolding and its bright colors glimmering in ecstasy. Ecstasy that choked you up to where you couldn’t breathe as tears brimmed at your eyes, desperately trying to gain senses.
Uvogin began to fuck into you slow, uncaring for the lack of prep, primarily driven by his insatiable want for you. Driven by the fear over your health and his lack of control. That shoving his cock into you to feel your poor gummy walls squeeze the life out of him, settled his churning emotions. That the incessant burn of anxiety in his chest was being snuffed out, and all because the electric pleasure of being one with you brought him. 
“Uvo!” You cry so sweetly for him, all hoarse and face filled with confusion. He was your lifeline in the storm. A storm he brought upon you. One that lifted you and dropped you as his cock hit your most sensitive spots, nestling up against your cervix only to pull out and thrust in again. 
Your lust filled whimpers only grow as Uvogin manhandled your thighs further apart, resting them on his biceps as he towered over you. His thick muscles corded with each push to the hilt of his hips flush to yours. Smacking of skin filled the dry air, your pain still twisting with rapture as his name repeats off your tongue. 
He leans to capture your lips, an inhuman-like groan from the back of his throat tickles your ears. It was one of desperation, higher pitched and letting you see him with shields down. His gigantic body practically trembles upon you as he picks the pace up, pistoning his hard cock over and over, and over. Mind blurring. Squirt dripples from your abused hole as you reach your high through a giant wave of pleasure. 
“Missed you.” Is all he moans. Again. And again.
Your arms move around his neck, legs attempting to wrap around his expansive waist. You can’t imagine him being any further, needing him closer, even closer than the part of him inside you. Because as you blink furiously, registering in your post orgasm haze, about the medical nen coma. That you don’t know the state of your health or the day of the month it is, instead all you can feel is your husband’s cock burying deeper into your guts like he’d never get to again. Overstimulated and too full, Uvogin roared as he came feeling your perfect velvet walls so tight, his vision whiting out. The way the bulge in your lower tummy inflated, the way he re-hardened in seconds to empty you to slam back in. A silent scream all that escapes you.
Fucking through each other’s highs there was nothing you could have ever wanted more than him like this. Maybe you would have wanted him to wake you properly to meet with the doctor to know whether or not you’d live or die. But you’d take this heated moment as you lose your mind as he fucks your sensitive nerves and toys with your clit, murmuring loving yet intense proclamations into your ears. 
Blissed-out face. Uvogin’s eyes burning into yours. Sweat falling from your foreheads. Cries of love. Heavy breaths. Electricity swarms you two, bodies lit in flames of passion and his possession over your body, mind and soul. As he comes again, letting your tiny cunt greedily take his warm seed, your chest sores and a pathetic smile tugs at your lips. You’re babbling incoherent words. Letting him grope you and kiss, and nip and play with your most sensitive areas even as you cried for a reprieve. His come leaked from your folds, an intense river of the warm seed trickling down to the bed, leaving you oh so empty from it and the aftermath of losing his cock. You cried for him to go back inside, that you needed to feel close to him to be one with him. Your hips bucked and jerked as tears fell, pitiful pouts before he laughed.
He sucks and licks along your cunt, slurping your juices and his own seed. Playing with your sensitive and enlarged clit as tingles shoot along your core, twisting so good in your belly. Sweet salvation as you sigh in joy and blurry vision from the pleasure his mouth gave you, collapsing further into the pillows and opening your legs further to welcome him. Fingers threading into his hair to keep his head in the very spot you needed. 
A whimper bubbles from you as he kisses up your aching slit, before leisurely dragging along your sensitive bud that feels just right. Furiously working you to another climax as he suckled your clit, a finger stroking inwards of your thigh. He pads along your sopping entrance and you shudder, watching as two fingers sink into your cunt. Two of his large fingers, which one alone bigger than most cocks. Stretching you out so good as he pumped and curled to your liking, stimulating all the spots that he knew made you go dumb. Uvogin thinks he wants to watch you lose yourself to him but he knows this is a fine line he’s on already, taking advantage of you in such a vulnerable state. But he can’t help himself! You’re just so cute and he’d been so scared the last two weeks. He needed to have his cock deep in your little pussy, the one he’d been so good not to fuck whilst you were in your coma. He wonders if you’d let him fill you again as he jerked his hips against the mattress as his cock began to harden again. 
You’re grinding against him, he smirks before latching back onto your clit and listens to every vibrato of each moan. Of each cry and beg as your slick rushes from your tight cunt, ecstasy blossoming inside you once more as he coaxes orgasm after orgasm from you, him allowing your roadmap of pleasure to lead back to the thick tip of his cock prodding at your slit once more. You smile, so stupidly with a wet face and flushed skin, hardened nipples and asking for him to fill you up again. 
And he does.
Until you're leaking of him. Barely conscious and not able to even moan in pleasure. Until you're trembling and neither your arms or legs can support you anymore. Till he’s shooting blanks and still nudging himself back into you even as you drift off.
Uvogin ruts into your barely there form, pulling you to the edge of the bed so he can have a better view. His come dried and caked onto your skin. Hair a mess. Face swelled red and dried with streaked tears. He grunts as his feet garner support from the ground so he can pound back into you without worrying about the mattress holding him. He doesn’t care that you aren’t crying his name or begging for more. All he sees and cares about how you still squirt little streaks of juices from your hole and across his abdomen. How your body is so obsessed with his touch that he can still make you orgasm even as you lull in and out of sleep. Your clit is so engorged, pink and sensitive but he can’t stop playing with it, rolling it between his calloused fingers as you squirm. Or sucking on it so harshly you passed out earlier, only awoken by him tapping your cheek, pulling the back of your head up so you could watch his cock morph your insides to him as you barely understood what was going on before spasming and blanking out again. Staring into your blank eyes, mouth open in an O-shape, he tells you how much he loves you, and that everything is going to be okay. And of course you believe him, he’s your husband after all, the only man you’d let use you like a fuckdoll in your sickly state to the point your tummy inflated from his thick spurts of come.
Tomorrow, you tell yourself, you’ll come back to the reality of your situation. Tomorrow. For now you’ll bask in your husband as an escape.
-
It’s the next day, your legs and core are so sore, when you meet with the doctor. It felt like the pink blush was permanently painted along your cheeks as he checked over your vitals. Uvogin watched you smug, one hand tracing circles along the low of your back. The memories of yesterday are prevalent in the air, the thought of it makes you go flush. Uvogin knows the effects he has on you even in such a serious moment that you almost want to smack him for it.
This was it. The moment of truth. 
You're fluttering with anxious nerves, stomach churning and you’re eyeing the garbage can for the chance you puke. Thundering in your ears as your heart hammers and blood rushes. It’s like your surroundings were null as you carefully watch the doctor’s every move, listen to his every breath and word to analyze what they mean. Looking for any sign in his body language that you’re fucked, that it failed and you’re officially out of options. 
But it doesn’t come. He smiled warmly between you and Uvogin. 
“As I expected, my nen coma was a success.” 
As he expected? Had he seemed so certain two weeks ago? You didn’t think so, but apparently he believed off of past patients that you’d recover?
He continues, “Your body was able to replenish itself not having to strain itself the last two weeks. You’re out of the danger zones to where traditional medicine will be able to bring you back to around 90% of your strength. While it’ll never be completely perfect, permanent damage has been done, you’ll no longer be in chronic pain day in or day out, or worrying about coughing up blood. You can go up stairs without stopping and go for walks without needing someone’s assistance. You’ll have energy, an appetite, no longer with permanent symptoms of pneumonia, and excitement towards the future once more.” 
You immediately look to Uvogin, who for once looks pleasantly surprised. His eyes glitter as he meets your gaze, and he smiles. It’s genuine, not forced like everything had been at one point to keep your spirits high. Immediately, you fling your arms around him, tears prick at your lash line. Hugging him as tight as you can knowing you couldn’t hurt him, while his boisterous laugh is like music to your ears. 
The doctor sends Uvogin out of the room to fetch food, saying he’ll go over your medications now. 
For a second you stutter, your whole body short circuiting as you don’t want Uvo to leave. But his encouraging nod your way before he closes the door helps you relax. 
You quickly discover why the doctor wanted time alone with you.
“It’s fairly simple, these two bottles of faint coral-pink pills are for the next two months. They’re high dosages which is why they’re rather large pills, do your best to get them down. Take them with food as well.” 
The doctor grabs two other bottles, your stomach drops as you feel a change in the air. 
“Now, I’ll keep it simple. I can’t tell if you’re happy, what kind of doctor would I be if I helped you recover just to keep you with a dangerous band of criminals?” He laments, “The pale yellow pills are for the final month, they’ll cement the work of my nen and the pink pills. You should not regress for the rest of your life, they’re strong and will kill off any remaining infections or diseases. You’ll be lethargic so I recommend taking them at night.”
“What about the blue ones?” You ask, stomach feeling like it was in the pits of hell the way it violently churned within you. 
“They’ll undo mine and the pill’s work and will allow you to pass peacefully. Take them for a final way out.”
“You- How could…” 
“I’ll write down directions, yellow pills if you feel like the pink ones worked. Blue is needed if more aggressive medications are needed after the two months. At your discretion, who would argue?”
For a split second you wonder if this was a test. But you just smile at him, “I really appreciate your help. It’ll be nice to breathe normally again.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
It took all your strength to not focus too intently on the blue pills as the doctor explained to Uvogin what they meant. He was completely bought in by the ‘deceiving’ explanations, no inkling present that one of the bottles could kill you.
You don’t want to think about it, not too much. You want to think about having autonomy once more. To breathe without hacking, to walk without needing help, to eat without getting sick. 
Month one- you take the bottle of pink pills. Each day, you aren’t sure if you’re truly feeling better or if it’s a placebo. A week of getting out of bed without tears or an aching body, is when you realize recovery was possible. You begin to enjoy full meals with Uvo, seeing the delight on his face when you bake for the first time in over a year. You two laugh at the mess, how half the pastries were burnt but it’s progress as you salvage the edible parts to feed the other. Your deep, nasty cough still surfaced each day. Less and less mucus each time. You’d sleep through the nights, once again becoming the one to wake up first like a waiting puppy for its owner, how expectantly you stared down at him nudging him to wake. How for the first time you were able to initiate sex with no worries of getting sick or him hurting you, as you took his swollen lengthy cock into your mouth. Him standing over you as he lets you explore him with your tongue. He’s so heavy and you giggle, warm and needy as you suck and kiss, lick along his thick veins to the point he can’t handle your teasing. You cry as he fucks your face but they’re good tears, and he watches as you swallow and then open your mouth to show him. Uvogin never leaves your side but for once you feel joy towards it, not frustration. 
Month two- you still take the pink pills and the improvement is astronomical. You giggle like a maniac as you skip about the fluttering grass outside the Troupe’s Base. Uvo watches you spin about before falling to the ground in exhaustion, he smiles as you bask in the sun. You’re breathing heavily but no coughing fits come. You’re bright red and clearly tired but you can still get up to keep going. He’s relaxing under a tree and you’re running around like your life depended on it, he thinks you’re just so damn cute. This is the month you return to more hobbies, become more talkative and want to watch more shows or finally give him back snarky remarks. Uvogin almost dies from the elation, the lightness of his chest at how life returned to you, how you were you. Not the husk of a person stolen away because of disease, you’re happy. Right? 
It’s now month three- you stare between the two bottles. ‘Take the blue pills for a way out.’ The doctor's words reverberate, you’d ignored them for the first two months not wanting to worry about it. Not wanting to get in your head before making a decision. 
You sit in the main room of the Troupe’s Base, Chrollo had called a last minute meeting the night before so Uvogin had to cart you out of bed, ruining a rather good dream. You’re staring at the medications on the counter, then eyes flickering to the clock. Today was the first day you needed to make your choice, the one you’d avoided for so long. 
Sickness numbed your mind at times, while at others allowed you to see things for what they really were. You think. You’d been ready to die, to be released from chronic neverending pain, but now having life back changed your mind. Little things you’d always taken more granted were now things you would never want to lose again. Maybe you’d lost yourself a long time ago, maybe you were always a horrible person to love Uvogin, but as you recount all these years with him you don’t want to lose him. Or the way he loved you. The doubt you’d had towards him after Bates was finally washing away, you walled all the incessant ringing you’d have in your ears off. No more were you susceptible to the common sense you had at the start of your captivity to always hang onto the truth about him. You walled it all off, brick by brick in your head. 
Maybe a part of you wants him to suffer. Wondering how he’d react when you suddenly fell sick again and passed, would he be ruined? Would he move on? You figured he’d do something dumb, find a way to get himself killed more likely. So you walled those feelings off too. 
“Hey.” 
“Hi.” You smile as Uvo walks out from one of the halls. You mewl into his large hand as he cups the side of your head before moving so you could lean back into him. He’s so large over you that when you lean back on the side of your chair that you only reach up to his thighs. 
You crane your neck to look up, “Everything okay?”
“Yep. Nothin’ for you to worry about.” He looks at the bottles on the table, “So, what ones you thinking? Can you mix them depending on how you feel each day?”
“Uh, don’t know about that, doubt it? I’ve been trying to recount everything to make a decision. Because I mean… I can’t complain, I feel good.” 
“Right.” Uvogin held a hand for you to take, then he grabbed your waist to help you up, “Up to you then, babe.”
The feeling of his thumb circling against your clothed side and the suddenness of standing makes your head spin. In a moment of striking clarity you reach to grab one of the bottles, certain in your choice.
“Yeah?” 
“Mhmm.” You grin up at him, squeezing his hand as you lace your fingers with his. 
The bottle of yellow pills rattles in your hand as you two make your way to his room. The blue pills sit forgotten, almost screaming out for you to change your mind, to think things through again. That you needed to at least leave cracks in the wall you created to protect yourself, just in case. But you didn’t. You coated it in shiny protective layers of something in your mind, causing your chest to surge in feelings of love and all things gooey and over the top. Just stars left shining in your eyes as you look at him. 
The month of taking the yellow pills passed, they made you lethargic like the doctor said they would, causing you to get mass amounts of sleep. But he was right, they made you feel good as new. 
You sit cross legged in the townhome, leafing through pages of your book as Uvogin shuffles around in the kitchen. He’d insisted that he’d make dinner tonight, which you told him takeout would be just as satisfactory (and probably better anyways). 
After multiple interventions on your part you two finally sit connected at the hip as your weekly show plays, food in hand. When Uvo finishes he tucks an arm around your waist pulling you closer, pressing a kiss to your hair. A heaviness in your chest suddenly becomes apparent, each time you swallow the food seeming dry and tasteless. 
“Uvo?”
He sensed the tension in your small body immediately, but didn’t say anything as he knew you were still adjusting. While physically you could handle a lot from long walks or eating actual food, mentally you were still catching up with the changes. 
“What’s up?”
“Can I tell you something?” You ask meekly. Your fingers feel sweaty, you have to set the food down on the coffee table immediately. A storm rages within you. One side telling you to spill, the other telling you to let this be a secret you die with.
“Anything.” 
“The- You remember the blue pills I could have taken instead of the yellow ones?” More screaming within you to stop. Like hands were physically trying to drag your voice back down, that this would only anger him. 
“I do.” 
You can’t bring yourself to look at him, focusing on your hands in your lap. You’re more aware of his hulking presence holding you to him than before. You’re more aware of his steady heartbeat and breaths as you wait for them to speed up, to show his anger.
“You can’t get mad.”
“Mad ‘bout what? You end up taking any?” 
Your heart is hammering in your ribs, like it’d burst out ripping you and all your biggest fears into the open. It’s giving you away, you know it. The room felt like it was closing in, suffocating you until you took a deep breath in. No lies. You were given a new chance at life and you would not keep this from him. Couldn’t. It was best it came from you rather than someone else somehow down the road. 
“They would have actually killed me.” 
Silence. 
“Uvo?”
“Yeah?”
He’s not reacting how you thought he would. He starts to fucking laugh and you’re staring at him like a deer in headlights. It makes feelings of annoyance bubble in your chest, anger as your nose flares and your pupils dilate. 
“Why… Are you laughing? It’s not funny.”
“Course it’s not, babe, but I already knew.” He shrugged. 
“How?”
“Shalnark. Guess he got curious what was in them after you said you wouldn’t be taking them. I said he could have ‘em to do whatever that tech freak does.” 
“I don’t understand.”
“Came to me and told me they would have regressed your pneumonia and caused you to pass in your sleep eventually. So I assumed you were aware of that, the doctor probably lied to me, and you made the choice to live. Of course I had to wonder what if you didn’t know and it was all luck you didn’t take them, now I know it wasn’t.”
“That’s why you didn’t say anything?”
“Yep, figured if you didn’t know you’d have flipped shit.”
“Why are you acting so calm? You’re freaking me out.”
Uvogin forced you to look up at him. He pulled you in for a quick kiss, “Because you chose me. You had all that time to think about it so you must have known for certain you wanted to be with me.” He grinned deviously, “Course I’m a little irked but, I do deserve some shit still for kidnapping you. I’d say it all worked out though, huh?” 
You playfully smacked his chest, unable to hide your grin, “You know I looked at the blue pills as a way out if the medical coma and pink pills didn’t work. That if I was back in pain, I couldn’t believe it almost, I was ready to suffer again. Not once did I want to use them because I wanted to be away from you. Sure I wondered if you deserved to suffer for the shit you do, but I love you. I wanted help from that doctor because I want more time with you, I could have said no to Chrollo three months ago. So I knew what my choice was from the start. You’re all I wanted those months with Bates, I had time to think, unravel my feelings yet you’re it for me Uvo. Guess you’ll get your karma in another way.”
“So fucking cute, wife.” His lips crushed onto yours again, his tongue shoving inside claiming you. He pulled you to straddle his lap before he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours, “You had me believing in that stupid karma shit, you know that? Glad you’re finally passed me being a mass murderer and all that.”
“Don’t say it like that!” You groan, shame prickling the back of your neck making you go warm. The wall is still strong in your mind, keeping you happy, keeping you from fully feeling that shame that should have made you go comatose. Instead it allowed you to kiss him with all your might, tugging at the shirt he wore. A kiss turned to desperate chaos as teeth gnashed and lips fought for dominance, saliva shared and dripping as lewd moans began to fill the air. Carnal touches. Salacious grunts. Swirling hot sex filled air controlled you two as clothes thrown discarded and forgotten, unneeded. 
You’d made your decision. How much of it was really your own, was left up for discussion. You’d never know how much of this you really wanted, or if you’d fallen in love out of necessity for survival. Or if Uvogin really was who you were meant to be with. But all you knew as Uvogin forced his swollen cock passed your tight unprepped walls, you’d never want anything more than this man as you cried. You who practically passed out as he breached your aching cunt and to the hilt of your cervix, outlining your tummy and pushing to stretch you even more as he yelled out for you. This man who loved you furiously and would destroy the whole world for you if you asked. And that- wasn’t that the grandest declaration of one’s feelings you could receive? 
Right? 
authors note on an alternate ending— i view it as if reader were to die than this would head towards canon where uvogin dies by kurapika’s hand and he’s all content because he gets to see you again :))
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maeswritingnook · 1 year ago
Text
Hard Working Lady
Prompt: Claire has a late night at the office and Leon stops by to pick up their daughter and make’s a bet with her
Warning(s): None
Rating: E
"On a scale of 1-10, how tired are you?" Claire asked as she turned back around to look at Leon. He looked at her with his brows raised and a grin on his face. "About 4. Why are you asking?"
"Im about 4 as well. What if I can promise you something better then 40 bucks?" Claire smiled as she pushed Leon's hair out of his face so she could see his reaction to her alternative offer.
AO3 Link
It was well past midnight when Claire started to feel frustrated with her report. She had been working on it since that afternoon.
Her thumb was fiddling with her wedding ring, her long, red hair was up in a now messy bun, her jacket was over her shoulders, and she was now wearing her glasses due to the burning in her eyes. She was so focused on her computer screen that she didn't notice her husband standing at her open office door.
He stood there for about ten minutes before realizing she wouldn't be looking up anytime soon so he knocked on the door to bring her attention away from the computer.
"You're still going at that report, Red?" Leon joked as he walked into Claire's office and sat on her desk. Claire looked at Leon before she threw herself back in her chair and let out a sign of defeat.
"Not only am I not done with it, but I'm so fucking over it already!" Claire groaned and rested her head in the palms of her hands.
"I thought you said you were going home after I drop Sherry off with you." Leon teased as he leaned down for a kiss. Leon had picked up Sherry from school that day and then dropped her off with Claire because he still had a lot of work to do before he would be heading home and Claire was supposed to be home before 5 o'clock.
Their buildings were only fifteen minutes away from each other so when Leon had passed by her building on his way home and saw Claire's car was still there, he knew she was overworking herself.
"I told her to remind me to get going at six, I guess she fell asleep after she did her homework. Poor baby only ate a bag of chips for dinner."
Claire looked over her computer and saw Sherry passed out on the small couch that she had in her office. She took off her glasses and sighed before walking over to her daughter, not even noticing how her jacket had fallen off her chair when she scooted it back.
She was so focused on her daughter who should be asleep in her own bed, not on the couch that was in her mother's office.
"Aww, I'm sorry sweet girl. I promise we will go to the craft store tomorrow." Claire whipped to her daughter before pushing her hair behind her ear so that she could kiss her forehead.
Leon smiled and picked up Claire's jacket from off the floor and put it over the back of her desk chair. When Claire sat back down, she rested her head in her hands again and looked up at Leon.
He looked down at her and leaned down for another comforting kiss before getting off of her desk. Leon took his coat off and placed it over Sherry before picking her up.
"I'm gonna get her home and put her to bed. I know tomorrow is Saturday but please be home no later than 2." Leon begged his wife.
"Bet you 20 bucks I'll be home on time," Claire told Leon with a smirk. "Oh, you're on, Red!" Leon smirked as he walked closer to the door.
"But seriously, be home soon. I love you." Leon said with a smile. "Yeah, yeah! Whatever you say," Claire teased. Leon chuckled before closing her office door.
Once Leon left Claire looked at the time and then cracked her knuckles. "All right Kennedy, you got this. You're almost done." Both she and Leon were very competitive so now that there was something on the line, she was determined to be home by 2.
Sadly, after twenty minutes her determination had died and she was bored and frustrated again so she decided to switch to her second project.
After finishing up her second project, Claire looked at the clock in her office and sighed before she took her glasses off and rubbed the sleep off of her eyes before grabbing her phone to call her favorite person, other than her husband and daughter of course.
"Hey, are you busy?" Claire asked Jill as soon as she answered the phone. "Nope, you're stupid brother is still working so I'm stuck at work. What's up?" Jill reply. Claire could hear Chris let out an offended 'hey' in the background.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm finished with the things you needed. I got the evidence and the reports that you need and I'm going to email them to you now. I'm sorry it took so long, I have this stupid report due tomorrow morning." Claire told Jill as she got the files ready to send.
"Thank you so much, Claire! This is why you are my favorite Redfield!"
"It's no problem, let me know how everything goes. I'll see you tomorrow."
After hanging up with her sister, she finally decided to focus on her report that was due soon. The only reason Claire heated field assignments was because of how much paperwork she would have to fill out, especially if she was assigned to go out with DSO and or the BSAA.
Even though Leon had asked Claire to be home by 2, she was barely starting to get ready to leave work at 2:30 AM and she wasn't home till 3. Claire quietly took off her shoes and put her bag on the couch before walking down the hall to her daughter's room. Claire was careful not to trip over their dog when she walk into the room to check on Sherry.
Sherry's hair was damp and she was in pajamas meaning she probably woke up when she and Leon got home. Claire smiled down at her and kissed her head before petting their dog's head. "Good boy, Bentley."
Claire made sure to close the door quietly before she made her way to the kitchen and grabbed herself a snack before she went to go shower.
It had to be almost 3:40 when Claire was out of the shower and in bed. She was barely awake and barely managed to get herself dressed and into her bed. She pulled the blankets over her and got settled in on her side of the bed when all of a sudden she felt a shift and a pair of arms being wrapped around her.
"Should I be expecting my 20 bucks in the morning or..." Leon chuckled before he kissed Claire's head.
"Oh, you hush." Claire giggled and playfully pushed Leon's face away from her. "Bet you double or nothing that I'll be up before nine," Claire said. She turned over and kissed Leon a few times before getting comfortable in bed again.
"Looks like I'm making an easy 40 bucks."
"On a scale of 1-10, how tired are you?" Claire asked as she turned back around to look at Leon. He looked at her with his brows raised and a grin on his face.
"About 4. Why are you asking?"
"Im about 4 as well. What if I can promise you something better then 40 bucks?" Claire smiled as she pushed Leon's hair out of his face so she could see his reaction to her alternative offer.
"Ma'am, I used to be an officer of the law, are you trying to prostitute yourself to me?" Leon chuckled.
"Oh my god! I can't with you!" Claire laughed as Leon got on top of her. "But, are you saying that you're gonna pass up on my offer?"
"Never would or never could, Sweetheart."
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harry-writings · 3 years ago
Text
The Happy Years
- The one where Y/n is unhappy in her engagement and finds an escape with her former lover
Part 1
Masterlist
(A/N) IM SO EARLY IM SORRY I KNOW I SAID 9PM BUT IM DONE SO MUCH SOONER THAN EXPECTED OKAY IM SORRY LOVE YALL <3333
-
Three years later.
The heaviest of thunderstorms hit the city of London by early morning, the loss of the sun and the gloom of the day leaving Harry bedridden for the first time in weeks.
He always tried his best to avoid days like this — trapped within his home, caged in memories that make every step he takes heavier than the last, wishing for just the smallest taste of salvation — because it’s when he’s left alone between these walls that the darkest parts of him come out, ravaging, feeding off of what’s left of him.
Rain reminds him of the day Y/n left. Thunder reminds him of Malibu. Malibu reminds him of all the things he ever used to do with her — on the bed, on the couch, in the hallways.
There’s no escape from what he’s done.
But when the time hits two in the afternoon and Harry still hasn’t gotten up from under his blankets, he decides that doing even the bare minimum with his day would be some sort of accomplishment.
He decided to get the mail.
And what a terrible decision that was, Harry thinks, as he sees an envelope addressed to him in unfamiliar handwriting by an unfamiliar name. Something about it upsets his stomach and throws him off key, knowing in his heart that he shouldn’t open it, but it’s heavy in his hands and he can’t ignore the temptation of it all.
Another terrible decision he’s made.
Please join us for the wedding of Alfie Lexington & Y/n Y/l/n.
Saturday, September 25, 2021 at 3:00 PM.
Dartmouth House. Mayfair, London.
The downpour feels like a drizzle compared to the cries Harry lets out as he reads the wedding invitation, his worst nightmare playing out right before his very eyes and if he wasn’t already so fucked up, he’d try his best to ignore it.
Y/n played her move. She wants him to strike back. She wants to win and watch him lose more than he already has. That’s all she has left of him.
His lips tremble as he sniffles, the invitation shaking between his palms as he lets reality sink in.
Y/n is getting married.
Y/n is happy.
Y/n is going to spend the rest of her life with somebody other than him — somebody that was once his friend.
It's unfathomable to him. The connection him and Y/n shared was unlike any other. They were drawn to each other instantaneously, their feelings of infatuation never once dying down because it was simply incapable of doing so.
They put each other first. They made each other better people, helped each other grow through all the droughts and winter days, and continuously found ways to become closer to one another. They were so comfortable and confident in their company, and so every day they spent together within those four years had never been anything less than pure happiness.
They were meant to be. He didn’t see it then, but he sees it now, and now that’s all he sees because everything he sees is her. 
To know that it’s no longer the same for her kills him from the inside out, because now she really doesn’t belong to him.
He lets out a sound that can only resemble what would be a whine and a groan made together, sobbing as he flips the invitation around, only to find another saved date he just doesn’t have the heart to see — an engagement party for all the invited to join.
He’s so overwhelmed with devastation that his brain becomes fogged, his body disassociating from itself as he rips the invitation apart, growling and screaming and wailing as he just keeps ripping it and ripping it and ripping it.
He’s destroying it in the same way it destroyed him until he gives up, slamming his fists down upon the counter, losing control of himself beneath all his pain and regrets. This wasn’t how any of this was supposed to happen. This isn’t what was supposed to come from this life.
He’s barely surviving as it is.
And he just needs to see her again.
But he doesn’t know how he’d react once he does. Whether he’d want to kiss her, to hate her, to love her all over again, he doesn’t know. His entire world is collapsing and he doesn’t know how to save it from falling apart. He can’t take any more risks when it comes to her.
But what is love without fear and danger? What would it say about him if he were to walk away from this now instead of trying just once more with her?
So with a heavy heart and a sobbing chest, he doesn’t take his chances.
And Y/n simply just couldn’t believe the sight in front of her.
Harry is standing at her doorstep, soaked head to toe, shaking in his bones. His lips are a light shade of blue and his eyes an alarming shade of red, somehow wetter than the rest of him. And as the thunder rumbles beneath her feet and nearly sends her to her knees, it goes to show her that he really is here, standing at her doorstep, and it’s not just a dream.
And she must have been struck by the shock of his presence because her tongue is suddenly tied, her throat dry, her lips fallen open yet forgetting how to breathe.
She just looks at him, soaking him all in, trying to understand what exactly led him back to the biggest mistake of his life.
“Harry?”
“So that was your way of getting back at me?! After three fucking years?!”
Her mouth falls open in disbelief, her eyebrows furrowing in defense. How he could possibly accuse her of something she didn’t even do — considering she hadn’t made any attempts to reach out to him since the moment she left Malibu — makes her feel even more betrayed than before.
He should know her better than this. He should know her from the inside out at this point, but she supposed three years really is a long time, because she’s never seen this side of Harry before. He seems so different to her now.
“Don’t you dare come to my home and try to make an ass out of me! Since when have I ever been the kind of person to get back at somebody?!”
Harry stutters for a moment, his anger and jealousy and hurt blinding him from the truth that Y/n never goes out of her way to get even. Her heart is too big, but he can’t shake this feeling that the person who sent him the invitation was out to do him harm.
And nobody had more of a reason to hurt him than Y/n.
“So the wedding invitation, then? You had nothing to do with that?”
He speaks it condescending, as if he didn’t believe a word she said, but that’s not what it comes down to. It comes down to the fact that she has moved on and found herself somebody so much better than him, and he has no one.
She shakes her head as if to gather her thoughts, confused about how he even found out about the wedding considering Harry quit the firm just hours after he left Malibu, leaving him with no contact to anybody that had any string tied back to her.
“Of course I had something to do with the wedding invitations! I’m the one getting married!”
She pauses then, her cold demeanor dropping into something Harry wants to say resembles a hint of relief, but it’s much more cross than that, much more serious, and he doesn’t expect what’s coming next.
“That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Me getting married?” She speaks it through a small, bitter laugh. “I should have known the only way you’d fight for me was by being with somebody else. You never could stand being second to me, as ironic as that is.”
“I could give two shits about you getting married.” He lies through clenched teeth, his stomach sick at the mere thought of it. “But I do have an issue with you inviting me to your wedding after walking out on me.”
Her head snaps back up to him.
“Wait, Harry, what are you talking about?” She frowns, trying to make sense of it. “I didn’t invite you to the wedding.”
Why would she?
They are no longer friends, no longer much of anything, so for her to take time out of her day to sabotage anything but herself wouldn’t feel right to her. Besides, it was her decision to never speak to Harry again, she wouldn’t ever take her word back.
Harry frowns then, too, because she isn’t faking her emotions. She’d always been terrible at doing so, and the way her eyes scream and beg for answers can’t go ignored. He, again, feels like the absolute worst person in the world.
“Then who did?” He whispers.
There’s only one possible answer.
-
Seven months ago.
Alfie insisted that he and Y/n had a New Year’s Eve party. They’d never had one before, as Y/n much preferred staying in with a bottle of champagne and celebrating with a lobster dinner and late night reruns of The Honeymooners.
But Alfie was persistent. Very persistent. Too persistent. So persistent she had no choice but to give in, and she just didn’t understand why.
She didn’t understand it as days passed and all Alfie talked about was the stupid party. She didn’t understand it when he rented out one of the most expensive venues. She didn’t understand it when he laid awake the entire night before, too anxious to fall asleep. She didn’t understand it when he asked her to wear his favorite dress.
She wished that she did the moment it happened.
The clock was ticking.
“Five!”
Alfie reached for Y/n’s hand.
“Four!”
Y/n noticed something shift in the air.
“Three!”
Alfie reached his other hand into his pocket.
“Two!”
Y/n knew what was coming.
“One!”
Alfie dropped to one knee.
“Happy new year!”
It was every girl’s dream — the fireworks, the balcony, the view, the prince charming that would whisk her away to spend the rest of eternity together — yet it couldn’t have felt any more like a nightmare.
It wasn’t what she wanted. Not then, not ever before, not once during the span of their relationship, and time seemed to have stopped moving forward.
There she was, in the center of the universe as everybody stopped and stared, gasping and gushing at the sight of a man on his knees for a woman. An act of vulnerability, of love, of submission, yet it didn’t feel like any of those things.
It all felt so wrong.
She began to cry.
To everyone else, it seemed as though she was crying from happiness. Her devoted boyfriend of two years finally asked for her hand in marriage, to be the mother of his children, to spend the rest of their lives tied together by a vow, unable to be broken. So it was no surprise when everybody let out an awe of endearment, nobody (not even Alfie) knowing her well enough to distinguish the difference between her happiest and saddest cries.
Harry would have known.
And that was all it seemed to come back to in that very moment in time.
Harry.
What she would have given to feel his hands on her waist, blocking her body from view with his, taking her away from all the unwanted eyes on her fragile body. He would have done it in a heartbeat because he always did — he always found a way to help her escape her horrifying realities, even the sweetest of ones.
What she would have given for it to be him kneeling in front of her… this all would have been so different.
Her lover of two years was promising her a future, yet all she could think about was somebody stuck in her past, yet so heavily prevalent in her present.
But she couldn’t say no. How could she when everybody expected the answer he was looking for, ready to toast to the bride and groom? How could she when phones captured the beginning of the rest of their lives, ready to share for all to see?
But she couldn’t say yes, either.
She settled for a nod of her head.
The crowd cheered, some clapping, others clinking their glasses, lovers kissing. She only caught a glimpse of those celebratory moments before everything around her drowned in her tears, voices of congratulations so distant beneath her heavy, hyperventilated breaths.
Alfie embraced her, then, and she felt his laughs of euphoria rumbling in his chest as hers met his, and she couldn’t even pretend.
She rested her chin on his shoulder, her expression void of everything that she should have been feeling. And her eyes went blank as they caught a reflection of her through the balcony windows — the last time she ever saw herself for what she truly was.
-
That same day.
Y/n was a mess waiting for Alfie to get home.
Seeing Harry again filled her with so many different emotions, she didn’t know which one to start with. She wanted to cry, wanted to scream, wanted to destroy everything and everybody that dared get in her way, she wanted to disappear. Yet she had done none of it. All she could manage to do was pace around her bedroom, biting at her nails and getting lost in her scrambled thoughts, her mind and body moving at a million miles an hour, unable to be tamed.
This is precisely the reason Y/n never wanted to see him again.
He does things to her, he always has. She hardly has any control over herself whenever it comes to him and she fucking hates it. No matter how sad, how mad, how hurt or how upset, there was something about his presence that made her see past all of that. It saddens her how much she used to love it.
But her moods swing at her relentlessly, the sadness turning to anger because yes, she is angry. She’s angry that he still has this much of a hold on her, especially after everything he’s done, and she’s even more angry that he hasn’t yet apologized for it.
Because it was all getting better. The constant wondering about what he’s doing or who he’s with and the continuous string of thought always leading back to him was all finally falling into its place. She was finally finding her place.
And then her fiancè did this.
When she hears the bedroom door open, she hardly gives Alfie any time before she starts a fight, wishing nothing more than to take it all out on him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Y/n fumes, everything tainted red with anger as she looks into his eyes and feels nothing but hurt and betrayal. “Inviting Harry to our wedding behind my back?! Do you not remember what he did to me?! Do you not realize what you just did?!”
He frowns, not sarcastic or menacing, but he genuinely seems upset that she’d ever even ask him such a question.
“Y/n…” Alfie sighs, and she suddenly hates the way he’s always managed to remain calm in the most heated of arguments. She wants to start a war with it, to go for the kill, to make him crawl and beg and bleed for her forgiveness. “Of course I remember what he did to you, which is exactly why I did it.”
Her hands turn to fists.
“Are you kidding me?!”
“I wanted to hurt him for hurting you! God damn it, Y/n… after finding out what he did to you all I could think about was ripping him to pieces and that urge never left me, especially after we got together.”
He slumps himself down at the foot of the bed, loosening the tie around his neck, almost too aggressively. And if she wasn’t so out of her mind enraged, she would try her hardest to understand his side.
But there is no excuse for this. There’s no excuse for any of it.
“So now you use our marriage as a way to get back at him?!”
Y/n may not love Alfie the right way, but she had never stooped so low to treat her marriage like a weapon, ready to strike at any moment in time. It wasn’t something she used to inflict pain onto anybody else but herself, no matter how hard it had gotten.
And though she once believed their engagement meant more to him than it ever meant to her, she can’t help but feel as if that’s just another lie she’d been forced to live with.
He went behind her back deliberately to hurt somebody even she never intended on hurting. He knew what was to come of this and yet here he is, letting it all happen for satisfaction’s sake.
It feels like all she will ever be is used.
“Is that what this is to you?! A point on your scoreboard?! A big ‘fuck you, i won!’?”
“Isn’t that what this is for you?”
“Don’t you dare turn this into my problem.” She spits through clenched teeth, punching at the dresser beside her with the side of her fist, face burning with fury. “I’m not the one sending him our wedding invitations!”
“And I’m not the one staying up past midnight scrolling through pictures of him on my phone!”
Her mouth shuts then, her hard and pressed features softening at the unexpected turn of the conversation.
She had been looking at pictures of Harry almost every night since Malibu, she just never expected to get caught. She could physically feel Alfie fall asleep against her, so she always waited thirty minutes before she took her phone out, looking back at everything that once was.
It was the only thing she ever truly wanted.
It’s what she kept going back to — a habit that came as naturally as telling her best friend about her day, about her perspectives on the world, about the lack of guidance in her life — like a phone call at the end of the day as a way to unwind.
She had make believe conversations with him as she scrolled endlessly through her favorite photo album, the thickness of his accent engrained in her mind as she thought of everything he’d say to her if he were still around. And if that wasn’t enough, she’d live vicariously through the memories they made together and replay those moments all night, until they lulled her to sleep.
“I told you from day one that —”
“That you’re never going to let him go, I know. I know that he was the love of your life at one point but this is just pathetic now, Y/n. Absolutely nothing short of pathetic.” She frowns, his choice of words making her heart sink because he knows exactly how to do it. And he sighs, rubbing his hands up and down his face as if he were in agony. “I didn’t know this was the kind of shit I was signing up for.”
Her eyes brim with tears but don’t offer anything more, only upset that he couldn’t find a way to understand her when she’s trying so hard. But he never has and he never will — not in the way she needs him to and not in the way that could ever make this work.
“I’m not sorry for what I did.” She confesses sadly, her bottom lip between her teeth and fingers picking the skin around her nails as she tries, yet again, to make him see. “He was my best friend before he was anything else to me. There was a time in my life where he was all I had.”
And though her heart is still with Harry in every aspect of every way, it’s true. He was her best friend and that’s what she misses the most. There was so much to him that meant so much to her and none of it could ever be replaced, not even by Alfie.
“You know I love you but you also know I'm not the same woman you fell for in Malibu. I’m my worst self when I don't have him around and your favorite parts of me don’t exist without him. Don’t pretend like you don’t see that.”
His hands twitch against his lap, his shoulders slumping because it’s true. The most lively and brightest parts of herself had died the first step she’d taken away from him that night. Sure, she’s still the most resilient and beautiful woman Alfie had ever known, but she’s never been the same since then.
She’s still in love with him and there’s nothing for him to do about it. He didn’t see it until he saw the way she sulked over Harry that night, all those years later, with a diamond ring on her finger that just seemed to weigh her down even more.
None of this means anything to her.
“It’s been three years, Y/n. Just find yourself a new best friend and move the fuck on already. I’m getting sick and tired of this.”
What he doesn’t understand is that she is, too.
-
Two weeks later.
Y/n shouldn’t be this alone at her own engagement party, but it’s the impossible things that always manage to find their way to her.
The party consisted mostly of Alfie’s friends, considering Y/n is much more of an introvert than he is and the small number of friends she does have seemed to have disappeared within the sea of unfamiliar faces. She felt lost for a moment, but when she finally found her fiancè, he had been too invested in his own friends to spare her a single one of his glances, and it soon became disheartening to wait for him to acknowledge her when the thought of her never once crossed his mind.
So she ends up on the steps of their back porch, sipping on a glass of champagne, overlooking the garden, breathing in the silence.
She closes her eyes and succumbs herself to the summer breeze, wondering what she has to do to find a single glimmer of happiness. Her life is just so sad, a labyrinth of betrayal and hurt and heartbreak she can’t ever escape.
Darkness is all she sees when she thinks about her future. There is nothing for her to look forward to. Every day will come and go the same way it has been — unwanted, dreaded, wasted, another failed attempt of contentment. It all seems so hopeless to her now.
The champagne doesn’t stand a chance when it comes to a lonely Y/n, and it isn’t nearly enough to curb her mood, either as she huffs at her empty glass, wishing she had taken another.
She sets it down next to her, placing both her elbows on her knees, getting lost in her world of sorrow, long forgotten by her lover.
Harry is the first one to find her.
He had parked his car across the street from her shared home with Alfie, and even from his distance he knew Y/n wouldn’t be inside. He knows her too well to know she wouldn’t find her place in crowded rooms where the attention is all on her, even if it was all in the comfort of her own home.
And the fact that Alfie didn’t know her senses of belonging well enough to accommodate them made him seeth. She is an independent, a lone wolf, a woman who moves solely in her own way and anybody who’s ever loved her knows that above all else.
He doesn’t care for her.
And he doesn’t need to go looking for her because he can feel her, as if the universe somehow bent its laws of gravity and pushed him straight to her back porch steps, where he finds her all alone.
She nearly jumps out of her skin when she feels a hand fall softly on her shoulder, but immediately sinks into comfort when she sees that it’s Harry moving to sit beside her, his hand refusing to pull away.
Finally, she has a friend.
“Hey.” She says softly, one of the corners of her lips turning slightly upward at his unexpected visit. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
He smiles briefly at her before he overlooks the garden, his fingers squeezing at her shoulder before resting his palms over his lap. And there’s something about being next to her again that makes everything around him fall back into place. This is where he’s meant to be.
“Honestly, neither did I, all things considered.” They both let out a chuckle, the atmosphere between them so horrifically sad yet so incredibly right. “But I just really felt like I had to be here for you tonight.”
Despite the years that had passed and everything that drove them apart, Y/n remains who he loves most in this world. His connection to her never died, so the sudden gusts of off and disturbing feelings Harry used to get whenever Y/n was troubled had never left him. He felt it all just as strongly — her anxieties, her fears, her tears and everything in between. And he’s glad that part of them never died because the look in her eye tells him everything he needs to know.
She’s absolutely miserable.
She sighs, the corners of her lips falling as she stares at her engagement ring, her thumb and pinky twisting it around her ring finger, itchy and heavy no matter which way it's worn.
“Me and Alfie aren’t doing so well.”
She didn’t have to say it because he can already see how treacherous they are together, but that doesn’t make it any easier for him to hear.
He lost his right to be selfish with her in Malibu, and though he does gain a sense of happiness knowing he may have a chance with her again, it’s significantly outweighed by her sadness. Nothing had ever pained him more than that.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
She shakes her head, her fingers reaching up to tuck fallen pieces of hair behind her ear.
“Don’t be. I don’t really know why he decided to do this, anyways.”
Harry’s lips fall.
“Marry you?”
Y/n’s leg begins to shake, her greatest and most absentminded nervous habit. And Harry had always been quick to place his hand over her thigh and rub at the surface, meeting her eye halfway and taking a deep breath in, to which she would always follow. He hesitates to do so tonight, but settles for it anyway.
She looks appreciative beneath it all.
She’d forgotten about Harry’s subtle favors over the past three years, so to feel it all again when she has been so low and neglected feels like a blessing to her. It feels like somebody finally cares for her, and that’s all she had been wanting all along.
Harry, she feels, is the only one who ever truly has.
“We just never talked about it. It was this big, ginormous, unavoidable, life changing question thrown at me with no warning at all.” Her forehead falls to her palms, as if humiliated by the memory. “In front of everybody.”
Harry’s heart crumbles from within him because nothing Alfie has given her has been anything she’s wanted, and that’s not what she deserves.
He remembers it so distinctively now — the way she poured her heart out to him just a few months before Malibu. It was the third Valentine’s Day they’d spent together and Y/n got so drunk, she spent nearly the entire night venting to him about everything she’d feared when it came to her future relationships.
With her head on his shoulder and her leg slung over his hips, Y/n’s thoughts were so destructive, she couldn’t bear to entertain them any longer, so she decided to let it all out.
“And what if my boyfriend proposes to me in a room full of people? I’d drown in sensory overload. And what if I want to say no? Or maybe? Or yes, just not right now? With all those people looking at me? I think I would pass away.”
Harry looked down at her in subtle curiosity, his fingers playing with her hair in the way they always liked. She was the only thing in his sight that wasn’t spinning out of his control.
“So how do you want to be proposed to?”
She hummed, as if contemplating her answer. But she knew. She already knew.
“In bed, probably. It’s so intimate and private there. So non-traditional. You’re the most done down at your first hour and something about someone wanting you at your worst, forever, is so poetic.”
She looked up at him with doe eyes merely seconds after.
“Will you make sure he does that for me, please? Promise me you’ll try.”
He smiled the best he could at her, pressing his lips down to her forehead. They lingered there for a moment, and Y/n’s breath was taken away.
“I’ll make sure of it.”
What makes the memory even worse was how much he really did love her and how blinded he was to it. He kissed her. He held her. He played with her hair. He slept beside her that night. He kissed her again goodnight. He brought her breakfast in bed the next morning. He did it all over again.
It couldn’t have been any more obvious.
But there’s something about the way she hasn’t expressed any of those concerns with Alfie that doesn’t sit right with him. It just doesn’t make any sense to him.
“Been with him for how long now, two years? And you really didn’t expect him to propose to you? Have you met you?”
She sulks herself deeper into her knees.
“I don’t know. I guess — I guess I just never really thought about it.”
Never thought about it?
“But you’ve always wanted to get married.” He says it more like a question than a statement, genuine concern and confusion in his tone of voice as his eyebrows furrow, trying to comprehend it.
She looks up at him with a void, empty expression.
“Yeah, but never to him.”
Her eyes linger on Harry’s for just a beat longer — just long enough to catch a glimpse of the way his lips fall and the way his face drains of color — before she blinks away from him, turning her gaze back toward the garden. The flowers have never looked so lifeless.
“Y/n… if I had known how you felt, I —”
“It wouldn’t have mattered.” Y/n shakes her head, looking back down at her trembling hands, tears now burning in her eyes as the sudden sadness of the conversation starts to weigh down on her. “You had four years to feel the same for me and you never did. My feelings would have done nothing to yours.”
“And I never did?” Harry asks incredulously, his voice low and faltered behind the heaviness of her words. “Is that really what you’ve been living with the past three years?”
Loose tears begin to fall down her cheeks because yes, she has been living with his unrequited love for six years and no, it’s never gotten any easier. It’s pathetic and ridiculous and the most unexplainable form of grief she’d ever carried, but it’s the most devastating kind. “How could I think any differently?”
“Because it was real, Y/n. Fuck.” He lets out a strangled, dry chuckle upon his words as he runs his shaking fingers through his hair. He’s nervous, absolutely terrified because if he fails to show her how deeply he feels for her now, he may never get the chance to again, and losing her is no longer an option for him. Not when she’s so close. “Because you know me better than anybody else and you know I wasn’t faking it with you. How could I have been? You would have seen right through me and you know it. You always do.”
Perhaps the love blinded her. Perhaps her heart was so invested it deceived her to see only the things she wanted as a subconscious form of self-preservation. It’s not an impossible possibility, and it’s certainly one she believed in throughout all this time, but a part of her can’t help but find a hint of truth stuck somewhere between his words.
The kissing, the touching, the tasting, the laughing and the loving did feel real to her. It felt real when she saw the way he smiled after every one of their kisses, and the way he reached for her when it was just to two of them, like he couldn’t get enough, and the way he moaned against her, and the way he told her he loved her, like he meant it.
She knows all of his movements and all of his habits — knows all the signs of his stress, his sadness, his tension, his ease. She knows the emotions he wears and the ones he doesn’t, notices everything he does and doesn’t do, and never once did anything he did with her seem anything less than genuine.
She hates that it’s taken her so long to see that, but it doesn’t fix all that he had broken now that she does. She wishes that it could, this life would be so much easier for her to live.
“You really hurt me.” Her voice quivers, low and quiet as she speaks her truth, and it breaks his heart all over again. Never has he heard her sound so sad in his life, and it’s all because of him.
“You think I don’t know that? I hate myself for everything I put you through because you didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
He pauses, waiting for her to say anything else, but it doesn’t come. All there is for her to offer are her silent cries and waterfall eyes.
“That night with Lydia… nothing happened. She caught me off guard and I panicked because how could I not? She was giving me everything I thought I wanted yet all I could think about was how I wanted it to be you.” Y/n’s breath falters then, a knot forming in her chest as she revisits the sight of that horrific night. “I tried so hard to talk it out with her, but she wouldn’t let it go. She kept persisting and persisting and she didn’t give me the chance to explain myself before you walked in on us.”
She didn’t truly know what happened between him and Lydia, but she had her ideas. Whether they kissed, touched, confessed their love or crossed bases, the truth would have only made it worse for herself. Ignorance was bliss when it came to them.
But she didn’t think nothing happened, either, especially when the first words that Y/n heard Lydia say to him that night was I love you, too.
Too.
Too.
Too.
Like he said it first.
She really hopes he didn’t, but she’s so afraid of his answer that she doesn’t ask.
But she doesn’t say anything else, either, because there’s so much more she needs to hear from him but she doesn’t know where to start. She doesn’t know what to do, yet she wants to know everything.
“You were all I ever wanted and I’m so sorry for the way I had to find that out. I’m so sorry that I had to hurt you to realize how ridiculously in love I am with you.”
And how ridiculous it’s gotten.
“It haunts me. It follows me everywhere I go. Every morning, I think about the way you slept beside me in Malibu and how perfect you looked before you even had the chance to wake. I still reach for you even when I know you’re not there just so I can say I tried. Every time I walk the street, I somehow convince myself that I see you walk past me and I always turn back just in case I missed you. Then I spend the rest of my day wondering where you are and how much happier I’d be if you were with me.”
And it’s all so true.
She is around him at all times. Her spirit lingers in the air he breathes, her shadow alive in every ray of sun that touches his skin, unable to be soaked away. The ghost of her is everywhere he is, always, and it pained him just as much as it comforted him.
“I come across all these women and go on all these dates in hopes to find someone that makes me feel half the things you do, just to go home hours later and watch all the stupid videos and photos I’ve taken of you throughout the years because it’s you that my heart is after. Nobody else.”
She melts into herself at his confession.
To know it wasn’t one-sided — the longing, the missing, the wanting so bad that he couldn’t help but look back at all their memories together. Whether he was beside those women or not, she had done the very same thing, and it’s almost as if those hidden moments of desperation were a silent call to one another.
He reaches his hand to her thigh again, his skin warming her to her bitter core, setting a fire in her that had burnt out many years ago. And she doesn’t stop staring at it.
“I love you, Y/n. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything else in this world. I love you so much that it drove me crazy to think about you spending the rest of your life with somebody else because I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of mine without you. But that’s my heartbreak to live with, not yours.”
But it is. It is because he’s the only one she’s ever wanted and living her life with someone else was once unimaginable. It still is. Even through her relationship with Alfie and everything they’ve built together, it wasn’t ever the same.
And it’s not a matter of her not loving him, because she does, just not in the way she loves Harry. He is a high she constantly fiends for, an intoxication that keeps her wild and free, an addiction like no other. Being without him makes her feel sober — in a constant state of withdrawal, falling down deeper into her urges, dependent solely on her relapses — and Alfie is just the mild distraction.
All of this is her heartbreak.
His fingertips rub softly at her leg.
“You’re the best person I’ve ever known. I don't know how I’m ever going to find a way to move on from you, and I don’t know if I ever will, but at least I had the chance to tell you everything you deserved to know. I didn’t think I’d ever have it.”
She still doesn’t answer him, but he didn’t expect anything more.
He wishes he could stay with her for just a bit longer, but he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome (if he could even call it that). And he starts to cry as he thinks about leaving her alone again.
She’s forever going to be his hardest loss.
“I have so much more I want to say to you, but this is your night with Alfie. I don’t want to be the one to hold you back from it.”
He squeezes the top of her thigh, dreading the let go. This may be the last time he sees her or speaks to her for a while, and that in itself is enough to make this so much harder on him.
“I’ll miss you everyday.”
He can’t even look at her as he says it.
His eyes are flooded with sadness as he stands from where he sat beside her, shaking fingers wiping at his tears, his heart the emptiest it’s ever been yet his chest heavier than ever before.
It suddenly dawns on her that she never wants to see him walk away from her again. She doesn’t want to go another dreaded day without him beside her, or go the rest of the night thinking of everything she could have said, but didn’t.
She wants him. She loves him. And she doesn’t want him to go.
“Wait.” She grabs his hand in both of hers before he can make it too far, her eyes wet but the brightest he’d ever seen them. “The party doesn’t end for a while and — and Alfie hasn’t come looking for me since it started, so…” She hesitates, his hands still in hers, and everything is right in the world again. “Do you want to take a walk with me? It doesn’t matter where just, please stay here with me?”
And how could Harry ever say no to her?
He lifts her up from where she sits, the first real and genuine smile he’s seen out of her since they’ve reunited spreading on her lips, and he wouldn’t trade this for the world.
They stray further than expected, catching up on everything they’ve missed throughout the years. It all feels so easy and so right, as if time had hardly passed between them, yet they’ve never felt more apart. Never once did they expect to live in each other’s world through late night storytelling and clandestine getaways.
They laugh. They cry. They reminisce. And they don’t let go of each other’s hand the whole night through.
-
Y/n returns to the back porch a couple hours later, grabbing the finished champagne glass she’d left on the top step to seem as inconspicuous as possible. Not that she necessarily has to, she doesn’t feel as though she’s done anything wrong, she just couldn’t imagine what would come from this if Alfie was to find out.
She slides the back door shut quietly behind her, the remaining guests only giving her a small smile of acknowledgement, none at all suspicious. Some offer her hugs and mingle with her, congratulating her as if it were their first time doing so, telling her how perfect of a marriage she and Alfie are going to have.
If only they knew.
But it isn’t until the last of the lingering guests make it out the door that Y/n and Alfie are left alone — the most dangerous place for them to be. And neither of them speak a word to each other, just meeting eyes for a brief moment in time, as if avoiding everything else that came with the night.
The air is heavy, the chill brutal, but it’s what Y/n is so used to. This is her normalcy.
“I’m glad you had fun tonight.” Y/n says plainly, gathering all the littered champagne and wine glasses floating around the kitchen.
In any other circumstance, she would have stood her ground much more strongly, but the bitterness inside her subsided to something much sweeter after her time with Harry. The weight of the world is gone, it seems, the moon and sun and stars aligned perfectly in her universe. She is weightless, floating, her spirit dancing along the edges of her own personal heaven.
The silence Alfie responds with doesn’t strike a nerve like it usually would. It rather goes unnoticed, only furthering her into her illicit dreamland.
Harry’s touch lingers on her skin and she can feel it all the same even though he’s gone. A shiver runs down her spine as she thinks back to the way his lips pressed against her cheek before parting ways, muttering the quietest goodnight, lovie against her skin, leaving her breathless.
She is endlessly hypnotized by him, forever under his spell, as if his lips were made of magic.
And Alfie’s heart sinks when he sees the look on her face. It’s been years since he’s seen it, yet it’s all so familiar once he does. It’s the same look he fell in love with when he first met her in Malibu.
It’s all so clear to him now.
“So we’re just going to pretend that you didn’t leave our engagement party with Harry?”
Y/n lifts her head to look at him properly for what seems to be the first time tonight, his question catching her off guard since she had so rightfully assumed he wasn’t concerned about her whereabouts, and Harry didn’t make his presence known to anybody but her.
But she doesn’t fight it, doesn’t deny it, doesn’t try to scrape for excuses that’ll only dig her in deeper because she doesn’t regret what she did or why she did it. She has no reason to.
“And we’re just going to pretend that you didn’t completely exclude me from our engagement party?”
Alfie’s hands slam against the kitchen counter, a bitter and sarcastic laugh falling from his lips, as if she had said something untrue. “So I don’t give you attention for two minutes and you decide to run off with some other guy?”
“Two minutes? Try two hours on a night that was supposed to be for us.” It’s her turn to slam her hands down, except hers land on her thighs. “I was sitting on our back porch all night and nobody, not even you, came looking for me.” She sits down on the island stool with burnt-out eyes and heavy shoulders, drained from the reality of their relationship, tired of trying for somebody that’s never held her heart the right way. “Harry was miles away and even he found a way to find me.”
And just like always, it all circles back to Harry.
She’s never been one to compare — verbally, at least — so there is a gloom that hovers over her after she says it, the guilt settling in her bones, but it’s the reality of their situation. An old lover held his hand out to her while Alfie refused hers, and it ended up exactly where it had always belonged.
“All you had to do was ask me to be with you.” He sighs, depleted, because it’s true. He would have been there the second she called his name. It’s the fact that she didn’t that shows him how incompatible he is with her wants.
“I shouldn’t have to.” She frowns, fingers fiddling with the skin around her nails as she contemplates what there is to say next. “Is that how this marriage is going to work? Me begging you to be there for me all the time? Because I’ve never been that kind of person. I will never be that person.”
Alfie breathes heavily in response but doesn’t know what else to do or say to get her to stay. She’s slipping right through his fingers and he can physically feel it — can feel the way she feels for another man, can see the way her eyes refuse him, as if hiding away from something.
But this isn’t about him, it can’t be because it was all going so well, so much better than ever before and nothing ever pushed her away, until Harry.
This is all him.
“You know he doesn’t love you, right?” Alfie breaks the silence, her heart along with it, because she needs to be reminded how badly he had done her wrong. She wouldn’t be turning him into the villain if she did. “He lied to you. He used you to get what he wanted. He —”
“He does love me.” She interrupts him because she doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want him to talk her out of this, no matter how much she should. But it’s on the tip of her tongue, almost breaking from its resistance, and she can’t swallow it back down now. “He was there for me more than you were tonight and he’s not even the one I’m engaged to.”
Another deafening silence.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
He understood her, loud and clear, but she’s speaking between the lines. There’s a part of her that’s holding back from something and he already knows what it is, he just needs to hear her say it.
So she does.
“I’m in love with him, Alfie.”
If the confession of her disloyalty wasn’t enough to tear her apart, the choked back sob she heard from Alfie undeniably did so.
She shuts her eyes, pained, unable to take it.
He doesn’t deserve this, but she’s left with no choice. She’ll only hurt him more if she stays.
So she doesn’t.
-
The morning after.
Harry didn’t know what was to come after he confessed his love to Y/n — whether it be a new day of a new life away from her, or the beginning of something so beautifully timeless, he had no idea.
The closure warmed him enough to lull him to sleep, to keep him deep in a dreamstate where all he envisioned was sunny days and the touch of her hand in his. He had never felt so light, so free, so liberated from the cage of guilt and unspoken truths that even if he were to never see or hear from Y/n again, it would have been okay.
He said what he needed to say, she heard what she wanted to hear and that’s all he could have done without interfering with her relationship.
But what he wakes up to is far from anything that ever crossed his mind.
Seven missed calls and five text messages. All from Y/n.
H, please tell me you’re awake. I need you.
I ended it with Alfie.
I don’t have anywhere to go and you’re the only person I want to see right now. Can you meet me at the coffee shop? I really need to talk to you.
Please wake up.
H?
Harry sits himself up in a state of panic, his eyes jumping between the time she had messaged him last and the time it is now. And he springs himself out of bed when he realizes that he hasn’t missed out on her yet, planning to get to her as fast as he can as he throws yesterday’s outfit, not at all caring about how it makes him look.
She ended it with Alfie.
He’s the only person she wants to see right now.
She needs him.
That’s all he can process as he scurries down the street, thinking of everything he has left to tell her to try and win her heart again. He knows he’s undeserving of it, and she does too, but that doesn’t stop him from loving her the way that he does.
His life is meaningless without her, so dry and bleak and depressing he can’t live another day like it. He can’t and he won’t because he’s going to fix this. He has to fix this.
And it doesn’t take him long to find her because there she is, sitting at their usual outdoor table, a large hot tea held between her hands, her leg shaking, her eyes distant. It's such a heartbreaking sight, and he suddenly wonders if she ever sat there after their breakup, waiting for him, hoping he’d do the very same.
The thought makes his head twitch to the side and fingers twist with guilt because no, he never did. He never went back to that coffee shop since the goodbye. It would have hurt too much, it would have reminded him of everything he’d ever done wrong and he couldn’t bear to face the person he once made of himself.
That person died along with her.
She stands from her seat when she sees him walking toward her, exhausted mentally and physically enough to nearly fall from her feet in the process. But her heart is racing a million miles an hour, her stomach fluttering as he grows nearer, her senses of anything but the love she has for him disappearing to nothing, as if it were just the two of them.
And she just needs to know if it feels that way for him, too.
“Y/n —”
“Did you mean it?”
Harry hesitates then, stopping in his tracks, his head tilting at her in curiosity but his features are softer, sadder, as if the question somehow broke him down further than before.
She doesn’t need to elaborate because he already understands what she’s asking. It was his mistakes and his selfishness that led her to question all his intentions, to doubt every sentiment he’s ever given to her, to wonder what was real and what was pretend.
But he doesn’t know what to start with, he doesn’t know what she needs to hear from him to be satisfied with his answer, or know if what he doesn’t say is what breaks this relationship.
“I need you to look at me and tell me that you meant it.” Y/n demands when he fails to answer her, tears flooding yet her face pressed and hard, committed to hearing every last bit of truth he has left. “Because I gave up everything I had for just the smallest possibility that you did. And that may make me weak, that may make me pathetic, and I may hate myself for the rest of my life knowing I made that decision but I can’t help feeling the way I feel for you.”
This is his last chance.
The window of opportunity is open and he is more than willing to dive head first out of it, but he can’t get ahead of himself. One wrong move, one wrong word, one wrong anything and he will have to endure an eternity of misery without her.
So he gives her more than she demands.
He grabs her face between his two hands, gently stroking her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, his gaze set on hers so that she can see how deeply he feels for her and how desperate he is for her forgiveness.
“I meant it.” He breathes out, his lips so painfully close to hers, she can feel his breath as he talks and it makes her legs shake from beneath her. “I’m in love with you. You’re all I think about. You’re all I want.” He leans in closer, ever so slightly, just so the ghost of her lips can meet the ghost of his. “There’s never been anybody but you. Just you. Only you.”
Her breath stammers, quivering and cracking as she flutters her eyes shut at his words, unforgiving tears pouring down her cheeks. And she doesn’t know why she’s reacting this way — the love of her life is giving her everything she’s ever asked for and yet all she can manage to do is break down from everything she’d been keeping inside for so long.
He knees buckle as a particularly violent sob nearly takes her down, and if it wasn’t for Harry’s strong hold on her, she’s sure she would have collapsed to the floor.
Her tears, his shirt, his hands, her back.
This is the closest they’ve been to each other in so long, his heart nearly shatters along with hers. He missed this more than he missed anything else in this world.
“Don’t cry, baby. It’s alright. You’re alright.” Harry shushes her, his lips settling on the top of her head as he presses chaste kisses on it, his fingers combing through her unbrushed hair. “I’m with you, okay? I’m never leaving you again.”
And he holds her for a while, tying her together as she falls apart in his arms, vowing to her over and over again that this is all over. All the pain is over. Everything will be different now.
And it was.
It felt different when Y/n and Harry spent the rest of the morning sitting in their favorite coffee shop, at their favorite table, drinking their favorite lattes. It felt different when Harry reached his hand over to hold hers, this time with no ulterior motive.
It felt different when she held his hand back, and when she smiled down at where they were intertwined, as if they were an extension of each other.
And unlike the last time they were there together, he doesn’t have to let go.
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glassartpeasants · 3 years ago
Note
That ending was a stab on the heart from beginning to end I'm gonna steal bob 🏃🏾‍♀️
The One That Got Away
Shigaraki x GN!Reader
Warnings: Angst, cheating, death
A/N: Don’t threaten Bob
~~~
The bed felt different after that night.
2 months ago you had caught Shigaraki cheating on you with someone random woman. You stood in the doorway just watching, trying to find the words to say but nothing came out. It’s only when you dropped your groceries and your present to him is when he noticed your presence.
*flashback*
“Shit! (Y/N) it’s not what it looks like-” He tripped over his words. You said nothing as you just looked at him, knowing that no matter how much you loved him that there was nothing that could ever make you forget this.
“Fuck just say something!” You were still silent as you dropped the groceries you were holding. It just wasn’t clicking for you. How could he do this to you? what had you done wrong?
“What did I do wrong?” Your voice seemed to echo throughout the room. Nobody said anything. Until she spoke up.
“Oh my god, Im so sorry! I didn’t know he was taken! Please forgive me.” The girl spoke as she jumped outta bed and started putting her clothes on.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Those words spilled from your mouth before you could actually say anything you meant. The girl had hugged you before saying she was so sorry a final time. Flipping off Shiggy on the way out.
“(Y/N)...i promise we can talk about this.” You just kept looking at him. Those eyes seemed to burn into his soul. He doesn’t think you noticed the tears spilling from your eyes. He was about to say something to you but you started to walk towards him. Thinking he was gonna get hit he just stood still before feeling your part of the bed dip.
He turns around to see you laying there, eyes still open with tears rushing down your face, your clothes of the day still on your body.
Shigaraki tried to put his arms around you but you had hit his hands back. and used your feet to push him to the edge of the bed while you laid clung to the wall.
*flashback over*
Thinking back on it you don’t know why you didn’t just walk away. Maybe you were to tired from being busy and running errands for him all day? Did you want it to be a bad dream and hope to walk up to realize nothing ever happened? Whatever the reason was, you weren’t sure but a part of you wishes that you left that night.
Now you sit at the bar, sitting far away from what use to be your boyfriend, not even taking a glimpse of him and he knew it. You just sat in the corner drinking and looking on your phone until a familiar smell approached you. 
“Oh hey Dabi.”
“Hey there (Y/N), why aren’t you hanging out with crusty over there? He keeps staring at you and the tension in here could be cut with a knife. It’s been two months and apparently everyone said i should ask what's going on.”
“Im not going near him at the moment. We’re on a break per say.” this seemed to peak Dabi’s interest as he leaned closer.
“Oh? Did crusty do something?  Your secret's safe with me, i swear on my soul.” What did it matter if you told Dabi? He already doesn’t respect Shigaraki so why not, plus, so what if that fuck didn’t want anyone knowing, he shouldn’t have cheated when everyone else was sleeping in the base.
“Don’t tell anyone I told you but, 2 months ago I caught Shigaraki cheating on me...” You felt small tears prickle the corner of your eyes. Bringing your hand up to your face you rub it away, hoping to ignore the pain that was banging against your chest.
“What a dick, wanna make him pay?” You look up at Dabi who had a huge grin on his face. You thought about it for a good few seconds before shaking each others hand.
“Once Shigaraki goes out on that mission today, we’ll talk more.” Dabi said before getting up from his seat and grabbing a drink from the bar.
You didn’t know what Dabi had planned but you hoped it would bring Shigaraki the same pain you felt that fateful night 2 months ago.
~~~
You sat on the ground in Dabi’s room as he paced back in forth, coming up with revenge plans. All of them sucked or ended up with you guys might going to Jail.
“New plan, everytime Shigaraki wants to hang out tell him you had plans with me and leave the room. You can go somewhere and i’ll go somewhere with you. Effectively ditching him.” Thinking, you try to come up with all the pros and cons this proposal Dabi shared with you. But soon your hurt over ruled the logical side of you and you agreed to it not a moment later.
“Great! Now all we need is for Shigaraki to ask to hang out with you. Don’t know how long that’ll take though...”
“I usually ignore him after what happened but sometimes he asks to hang out with me whenever its a slow day at the base or if he’s bored.”
“ Well guess we have to wait tell then huh?” Nodding your head, you get up before putting a thumbs up in his direction. You walked out of his room and see Shigaraki sitting at the bar. He must have finished his mission early. You rolled your eyes before sitting on the other side of the bar counter. You could feel shigaraki look at you through father.
“Hey....”
“.....”
“Look im sorry, a-and i know that doesn’t excuse what I did but please-” You got up before he could finishing his sentence as you walked towards your shared bedroom. Going in there use to give you comfort but now everytime you step into that room you see that fateful night over and over again.
You sat on the bed before hearing Shigaraki’s footsteps coming towards the room. Furrowing your brows, you ignore him as you put your shoes on. You needed a little bit of fresh air so you were planning on going to the local park to relax a bit. You weren’t a villain like the rest of them, you were just a simple civilian. Not that you minded really. It was peaceful not fearing for your life everyday and having the fear of failure not on your shoulders.
You didn’t really have a quirk so you just ignored the questions when people asked you if you had one. 
“Can I talk to you?” You were dragged back to reality when Shigaraki’s voice rang through your ears. Annoyed you just answered hoping that the conversation would be short. 
“What do you want?” You voice was snappy and you could feel the venom dripping from it.
“I understand that your mad. And you have every right to be but your not even giving me a chance to redeem myself and-”
“Redeem yourself? Why the hell would I do that? YOU cheated on ME. LIke hell im gonna forgive you so easily.”
“It’s been two months! What happened was in the past!”
“It was in the past my ass. How would you like it to see your lover in bed with another?!”
“I-”
“I felt like my soul died that day. I thought I was your only one! Only to find out that you slept with her! Was she a one time thing or were there more hookups?!” You stood up from the bed as your fists turned white and your anger slowly erupting.
“.....”
“TELL ME DAMNIT!”
“Three...there were three different occasions...” Now the tears were kicking in. You were hoping that it wasn’t true. What if there was more and he was only saying three just to ease your heart?
“Why? Why would you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Your questions were like knives stabbing into Shigaraki’s heart. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he didn’t want your heart to hurt more than it already was.
“Im not going to ask again Shigaraki. You either tell me the truth or I will walk out of this base and never come back.”
“The...the first time it was a drunk accident, the second time Dabi had brought her to the base and one thing led to another. The last one was the same as the second one.”
“Did...did Dabi know about the affair?” You were begging, no pleading for him not to have known. You didn’t know if your heart could take it.
“Yes...” That was it. That was the thing that broke you. Walking up to Shigaraki you pushed past him before flipping him off and saying one final line.
“I would rather die that ever be with you again.” And with that, you left the hideout. You speed walked through the alleys to get to you parked your car. Your friends house was pretty far and you didn’t feel like walking in the dead of night were criminal activity was more active. 
Getting in your car, you turn on the radio and start breaking down. Your tears were blurring your eyesight as you put the car in drive. 
The streets weren’t busy except for the occasion car with some college students. Or drunk people walking along the sidewalk. The sound of the radio blasting songs that were supposed to be happy barley brightened up your mood as you drove down the dark highways.
All of a sudden a bright light hit your eyes from the right side. Some fuck must have had their brights on. But you had the right away so you went. All of a sudden a huge crash rang through your ears and the world became dark.
~~~
A ring came from Shigaraki’s phone. Looking at the clock he noticed it to be 2am. Annoyed he just decided to answer it.
“Hello, this is (hospital name). You were listed under a emergency contact for (Y/N) (L/N).” Shigaraki jolted awake as his hands reached his neck, standing up and already begun to pace the floor of his room.
“Yes did something happen?!”
“At 12am tonight miss (Y/N) was in a car crash. A hit and run to be exact. Their car was totalled after it rolled about 3 times from the speed that the driver hit them. A bystander of the accident called 119. They were in need of surgery immediately once paramedics noticed that they were crushed and bleeding out quickly due to a shard of glass that was stabbed in their chest.”
“Are they okay?!” The doctor on the other end went silent.
“Im deeply sorry for your lost sir. They died during surgery trying to remove the glass that was lodged in their skin. The police are on the look for the suspect. if you wish to see them were on (blank street). Once again, im sorry for your loss. Goodnight sir.” The phone went silent as the doctor hung up. 
Everything seemed to stop as the feared villain feel to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as his body shook. He realized that now it was impossible to even try. And the last words you had ever said were ‘ you’d rather die than ever be with him again.’ Crying into his hands as his tears made a puddle on the floor.
I guess you took your words seriously.
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weeb-writor · 4 years ago
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Do you still love me?
Hello lovelies! Today I am back with a angst piece but a happy ending don't fret too much! I was really thinking about making it end horribly or leaving it up to the readers imagination but I decided nahh i couldn't do that to my heart. So here Bakugou and his s/o who fell out of love??(or did they??) when then have a large family in the mix. I have also decided im kind of obsessed with domestic pieces lol, they are like more than half of all my posts. Anywho, reader is neutral hope you guys enjoy!
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Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
You and Bakugou call its quits not thinking of what it would do to your 5 kids who are stuck in the middle
Words:  3606
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“Are we going to dad’s today?” Hiroyuki asked softly.
“Yeah, your going to spend the weekend with him, all of you.” You smiled at him.
“Can I bring Tokki?” He said looking at the ground already knowing your answer.
“We went over this last time baby, Daddy can't have pets at his new place and Tokki is a cat, he likes staying at home.” You said with a sigh. It really sucks that it came down to this, spend a week with you then a weekend with dad, then rinse repeat. Sometimes you even wondered if it was better. That’s what you and Bakugou told each other, I mean what else can you do when you fall out of love? You approached your car where all of your other children were waiting. You and Hiroyuki sat down and signaled the diver to go.
“We going to daddy’s right?” Kohana said as she bounced around in her seat. You booped her nose and nodded at her.
“Yay, daddy’s home!” Yoko said, clapping.
“Don't get excited Yoko, Dad’s probably busy. Were probably gonna be with Grandpa and Grandma.” Hiroyuki said playing with your fingers.
“You're so dramatic Yuki! Of course dad is busy! He is a Hero but he always makes time for us.” Your oldest said little explosion going off around her.
“Kaori.” You warned her with a stern voice. The little sparks calmed and she went back to quietly gazing out the window. 
“Your dad is a hero and therefore busy but I know he is very excited to see you all and will spend all the time he has with you.” You smiled at them. They all smiled back before going back into relative silence. When you and Bakugou decided to have a big family you were ecstatic and so was he. This, however, wasn't what you imagined. A tiny rift right threw your family and it was growing bigger everyday. When you told the kids about the spilt they didnt say much and the youngest ones didnt even really understand but as they lived through it, they changed. They formed their own opinions about who’s fault it is and why it happened. And now they were splitting up, there was Kaori the eldest who didn't care too much, Yoko, and Kohana. At the opposite end was Hiroyuki, just him. Your fragile little boy who was so sure it was his dad’s fault. Saiyuri was too young to choose a side but all the change wasn't really helping the 11th month old baby.
“We have arrived.” The diver announced. You thanked him while getting everyone out of the seats and exiting the car. Bakugou lived in an apartment now at the tippy top of course. It was a long and loud elevator ride as your kids were antsy to see their dad. When it opened Bakugou was standing there waiting for them and was immediately met with an armful of girls.
“Daddy! I missed you so much!” Kohana said almost in tears.
“Misses Daddy.” Yoko echoed her sister.
“Yeah, I missed all you brats too, you better have been on your best behavior! You have to keep up the Bakugou reputation.” He teased them
“Of course we have! I'm still number one in my quirk development classes. Yuki has the best grades in all of his grade. Kohana is reading at a 3rd grade level already and Yoko and Saiyuri are everyone's favorite at the Daycare!” Kaori said with vigor.
“Yeah, your all Bakugou’s for sure.” He chuckled at them. He turned to talk to Hiroyuki but he was gone. You heard a door shut, he was probably already in his room.
“I've got homework to do dad and them we should do something all together!” Kaori said kissing his check before taking off. Her sisters followed her as usual.
“How long do you think he’ll be like that?” Bakugou asked you with a sigh.
“Honestly I don't know, it's not like I tell him awful things about you. Maybe it would have been better if we did cause then he would have one thing to be angry about, one event, It would be easier than him just being angry at you.” You said placing Saiyuri onto the ground to walk around.
“They’re so mature and smart I forget they’re so young. Hell we don't understand why it happened, you can't just pinpoint a time where you fell outta love, it’s gradual. So how can we expect them too.” Bakugou said, sounding in pain.
“Yeah, sucks they had to witness it. I’ve got to go meet up with someone but just… He thinks you’re going to call your parents and abandon them to do Hero work. I know you can't put off everything but I think he just wants to know that for once he can come first to you.” You said as you kissed Saiyoui’s forehead. You were about to enter the elevator when a weight crashed into you. You didn't have to look down too far to see Hiroyuki hugging you.
“Take care of Tokki, please.”
“Yes and you make sure you and your sisters behave for your dad.” He sighed but nodded at you. You gave him one last hair ruffle before leaving. You couldn't help but think this wasn't ever gonna get any easier. You sighed before heading to the next destination, a café to meet with a few of your friends.
“Y/N!” You heard a voice call to you as soon as you opened the door. You identified the voice as Mina.
“Mina! Long time no see!” You said giving her a hug.
“Y/n, dear come sit down.” Momo said smiling at you, you sat down with the group.
“How are you doing.” Mina asked you cautiously
“I’m surprisingly doing awful, I see Bakugou too much to truly get over him. The kids are still adjusting to us being apart and Hiroyuki has been really upset and distant. I thought breaking up would fix a lot but it just made everything worse.” You sighed out.
“Well of course it did!!!” Urakara whisper yelled.
“You and Bakugou called it quits way too soon! I've never seen someone handle Bakugou the way you do. I’ve never seen anyone love him like you. Hell Bakugou loves you so much it’s ridiculous! Do you remember when he was gonna put his hero work on hold because of Kaori! I’m sorry y/n but I’m not buying this fell out of love thing.” Deku rushed out.
“Mm I’d have to agree. If there is anything I’ve learned from being friends with Bakugou it’s that he never half ass anything and if he put time into it he’s gonna see it through till the end so, logically it doesn’t make sense.” Todoroki said quietly.
“Yeah so what’s your side of the story?” Mina asked carefully.
“I… loved him, you know and when we had kids it only intensified but now it’s different. Bakugou is a great dad don’t get me wrong but he’s absent and that was fine when it was just me, Kaori, Hiroyuki, and Kohana but now there is Yoko and Saiyuri. It’s hard when they all have different school times and different needs cause of their ages. It’s hard because I had to put part of my life on hold, I went to UA too and I was supposed to be one of the greatest support people out there, every agency would want me. But it was Bakugou’s dream first so I sacrificed it all in a heartbeat. Over the years he just got more busy and I got more left behind. I’m tired of waiting up till 3am to make sure he’s alright knowing I have to be up at 7 to get the kids ready for school. I… love him and I don’t want to argue with him and I could feel myself growing angry at him, feel myself growing resentful. So I brought it up under the disguise of “do you still love me” and he said No… so that was that and we were done the next week.” You said not meeting their eyes. They just looked at you with wide eyes.
“Y/n I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt like this.” Momo said softly.
“It’s fine, he is the love of my life and our kids are my everything so I would do it all again, just for them.” You smiled with a few tears cascading down your face.
“You haven’t tried to talk to him about this, you still love him, you guys can fix this.” Deku said almost mumbling.
“But he doesn’t love me and so there is nothing to talk about. Now come on let’s talk about something else. You can hear sob stories like mine anytime.” You waved them off. They were hesitant but the conversation did pick up about their lives and your time at UA, at least the happy parts. The rest of your two days without your kids were a blur. You just remember waking up with your phone going off a Monday.
“Hello is this Bakugou Y/n?” A women’s said. The title hurt just a bit.
“Yes it is.” You responded drowsily.
“I am very sorry you have to receive a call like this but your son Bakugou Hiroyuki has been rushed to the hospital, his sister did refuse to leave his side so she is there as well.” You were silent before hanging up and immediately calling Bakugou.
“What’s up?” He rushed out. He sounded panicked so he must have gotten a call too.
“I need you to pick up Yoko and Saiyuri.” You said rushing to put in on your clothes.
“What? But yuki is in the hospital, we’ve got to be there.” He said 
“Yes but they are done with daycare in.” You paused to look at the clock on your way out the door. “A hour. If we don’t get them now we’ll have to leave him to get them.” You said finally in your car.
“Yeah and he would rather be with you than me…” he trailed off.
“I didn’t say that.” You rushed out
“You didn’t need to, I'll get them and be there as soon as I can.” He said hanging up. You sighed and continued your drive to the hospital. When you got there you rushed to the room where you looked in and saw your son unconscious and Kaori laying next to him.
“So he is going to be okay, we do want him to remain here for another day or two.” The doctor said to you, smiling.
“Okay but what’s wrong with him.” 
“Well he hasn’t been eating or drinking or sleeping enough, especially for a boy experiencing his growth spurt. Pair that with how much he has been using his quirk in class and you have a pretty bad situation.” She said as if it was nothing to worry about.
“Uhhh okay so we just need to make sure he is eating and drinking right?” You said pacing a little.
“Yeah and I would figure out what made him stop. Your daughter was very adamant about it not being abuse just that there was something going on at home and he is trying to deal with it.” The doctor said as you froze thinking you did this to him.
“Just a divorce…” you trailed off.
“Yeah that will do it but I don’t need to know about it. It's your business just make sure to talk to him so you don’t end up back here.” She said before leaving, you let out a few tears before heading into the room. Noticing you, Kaori got up and was hugging you tighter than she ever had.
“Did you know he wasn’t taking care of himself?” You asked, stroking her hair. She shook her head no.
“I didn’t either, I didn’t know it was hitting him so hard… you know you can ask me about anything, tell me anything… me and your dad will always be in your corner.” You said lifting her chin so you gazed into her eyes.
“But you're both not in our corner anymore. You guys are in to different corners and it’s hard to keep up with two different houses and two different.. well everything’s.” She said looking away from you.
“I never meant to you guys to feel like this, I just…” You trailed off but before you could finish Hiroyuki tossed and turned in his bed.
“Yuki sweetie, can you hear me?” You said as you rushed to his side.
“Mmm.” He said, he’s eyes still shut in pain.
“Oh baby, i'm so sorry I didn't notice you were in pain. It’s never gonna happen again, okay? Do you need something?” You said stroking his hair, he hummed before falling back to sleep. You sighed and kissed his forehead.
“So whats up with him?” Bakugou rushed into the room with the girls in his arms.
“He hasn’t been eating, or drinking, or sleeping. So when he used his quirk it drained his body and he’s here for 1 or 2 more days.” You said eyes never leaving his.
“That's impossible, he was just with me… he… didn't eat very much.” He trailed off. You hummed at him understanding how he was felling as you missed the signs too.
“Hey, girls I texted Grandma and Grandpa and they said they miss you so much. So while we take care of Yuki how about you guys go see them, yeah? Mr. Yuri is waiting to take you.” You smiled at them. You see a fire rise in Kaori but it goes out quick as Bakugou ruffles her hair.
“Okay then, be good for them and don't cause too much trouble. Mr. Yuri will pick up Kohana, Kaori please explain what's happening to her. And don't worry, we’ll see you real soon.” You said waving the girls out of the room. When they were out of sight you and Bakugou visually deflated. 
“Katsuki, how does this keep happening?” You asked him
“What?”
“How do things keep getting worse, first the break up, then the kids being mad at each other, Yuki’s anger at you, and now this.” You cried out.
“The break up was bad to you?” He asked voice cracking.
“Why wouldn't it be, Katsuki I know you don't love me anymore but I…” You trailed off
“Would you just spit it out dumbass! This is why we didn't work out because you never say shit. You just bottle it up and never lean on me or depend on me the way I do to you. You used to say “we're a team” all the time but in the last 2 years you haven't said it once. It was you who fell out of love with me so don't pretend like it was so hard for you.” He yelled at you.
“This is why we don't talk Katsuki, all you wanna do is yell and project all the feelings you bottle up from working so goddamn much. Of course it was hard on me and you would know why if you could drop your ego and talk to me like you can tolerate being around me or love me!” You yelled back at him but before the argument could turn into a big screaming match your sons voice rang out.
“Would you two just stop it…” He said weakly.
“Yuki, im sorry we shouldn't have been yelling even if you were asleep.” Bakugou said caressing his check. At the touch Hiroyuki let out the tears he’s been holding in.
“Its us isn't it?” He paused to look at you. “Me and my sisters… You had Kaori and me pretty young and you didn't really get to be young. You had all of us before you really got to live together just the two of you.. And Uncle Izuku and Auntie Urakara's relationship is doing fine even though they started to date around the same time as you, difference is they just started having kids like 4 years ago… Im 12 and Kaori is 13. So its us isnt?…” He said curling into himself.
“Kid, I'm not gonna lie to you, having you and Kaori at the ages we did was a nightmare. We were barely out of school, we lived with my parents for a while cause we didn't have jobs or a place of our own and even we did get one it was a shitty hole in the wall place but even at the young age of 19 we pulled our shit together and made it work so when you came a year later we were a lot more prepared. Yes we did miss out on a lot of things people our age did but we had you and Kaori and that was so much better than party’s and hangovers. Then we decided to have Kohana, Yoko, and Saiyuri and you all make us so happy. You all have nothing, not a damn thing to do with what's going on between me and y/n. If we ever made you feel like you did we didn't mean to. We love you so much and I am so sorry if we ever made it seem like it was your fault.” Bakugou said, eyes boring into Hiroyuki’s. Hiroyuki looked at you and you nodded to show you agreed with Bakugou.
“Don't ever forget how much we love you, okay? Now you should eat, we’ll get you anything you want.” You said wiping your tears with a smile.
“If it's not too much trouble, I want you and dad’s spicy pork curry and you guys should take some to the girls.” He said drowsily.
“But in order to make that we both would have to leave since it's a meal we make together… we couldn't leave you here alone.” You said mostly to yourself before any could say anything else a new voice was heard entering the room.
“You guys go talk and make him some food, ill stay with him. I didn't watch you guys terribly flirt and kiss everywhere just for it to end over some miscommunications.” Aizawa said as he took the seat next to Hiroyuki. Aizawa had remained close with a lot of students from 1A, becoming like a second dad but he had been extra close with you and Bakugou. When Kaori came into the equation he was like a nanny to her and it only increased when Hiroyuki was born, the two having a really strong bond so neither you or Bakugou was shocked he showed up.
“Okay, then old man. Watch my kid.” Bakugou said, grabbing your hand and pulling you away. You almost forgot what his calloused hand felt like. He drug you to his car and the car ride was mostly silent. The talking began when you began to cook in the house you used to share.
“Do you love me?” You asked as you cut pork
“Yes, I love you. I never stopped, I am in love with you y/n. Today I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow.” He said slicing onions.
“Then why did you say that, say that you didn't love me.”
“Because I could see it, you don't look at me the same. We don't talk the way we used to. I don't want to string you along and make you hate being with me, because I love you more than life itself. And I was scared that one day you would wake up and you wouldn't need me and realize how easy it would be to leave me. That it would be my fault we ended because I was so focused on me I didn't see your pain. Scared that I would wake up and gaze into your eyes and find no love or joy in them. So I decided to let you go… I was thinking we just needed a break but you suggested a divorce and I agreed because I would do anything to make sure you keep that beautiful smile of yours. Even if you weren't smiling at me anymore… do you..” He said calmly, growing more emotional with each word.
“Yea, I never ever stopped. I was just tired, I am tired. But I want nothing more than for us to work… we can get through this, can't we?” You asked cautiously.
“Of course we can, we are Bakugous, we can do whatever the hell we want. And it will be different this time, we’ll talk about things and communicate better, I swear. I aint seeing a shrink though.” He said flicking water at you to make his last point more effective.
“Yes we are.” You giggled at him.
“No we aren't, you shitty dumbass. We don't need help, I can talk about my feelings without some dumb wanna be life coach.” He yelled as he began to wash the rice.
“Well we don't have to but I guess that means Zuku and Urakara have a better relationship than us since they go to counseling…” you trailed off with a shrug.
“Oh fuck you!” He roared at you, you giggled knowing he would now go. This was the most normal you felt in months, the happiest for sure. Just maybe things would be okay, and who were you kidding you could never fall out of love with the spiky haired explosion boy no matter what he did. It was toxic in a way but you could unpack that in the therapy sessions you were gonna force him to attend.
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jae-daddy · 4 years ago
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Duff (6)
jaebum au series
one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight masterlist
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pairing: im jaebum x reader  genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now “ plot: you are the duff and guys use you to get close to your best friend, Heather, and turns out Jaebum is no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your best friend’s unofficial boyfriend grows a/n: im sorry for posting after so long. i got busy with new year celebrations and then started struggling with a creative blog. not edited. hope y’all enjoy it! <3
“So, how is it working for the hot new Director?” Naina asked, watching you take a bite of the fries on your plate. You narrowed your eyes at her anticipating face, waiting for any drop of new information.
You frowned at her instead, “Naina, you ask me this every time we meet.”
Naina only pouted in reply, before picking up a fry from your plate and popping it into her mouth. Before you could complain, she lifted up a quarter of her wrap and dropped it on your plate, “I only ask because you never know when situations can change. One day your secretary and boss, and the next day, you both are hooking up on his sexy desk.”
“Did you just call his desk sexy?”
“Come on,” Naina blew gaping at you as if you were the one insane. “Have you seen that majestic dark wood slick piece of beauty?”
“Oh my god, the Director’s desk right?” Pam settled next to Naina. Naina gave you a told you so look, and you just rolled your eyes at their antics. You didn’t say anything as the other two ladies drifted into a conversation about how sexy furniture could be.
You would have normally joined them, and told them about the three thousand dollar coffee table at Heather’s apartment. But you couldn’t participate in their conversation. Not when your mind was elsewhere; somewhere so much more interesting and sexier than furniture.
What Naina had said had planted another seed in your garden of fantasies about Jaebum and you.
This time you imagined yourself spread on his dark wood desk. Your bodies holding on to each other, desperately trying to get closer as he fucked into you.
You swallowed, as you popped a fry into your mouth, making you choke. You coughed a few times to avail before your hands reached out to your friends who turned towards you with wide eyes.
God, this was so embarrassing. You were going to die from choking on a piece of fry at the company cafeteria.
“Y/n!” Naina and Pam panicked, jumping in their seats. They held your hand staring at you horrified and lost. You had such idiot friends, you were truly about to meet the devil any second now.
Suddenly, you were pulled up from your seat and arms wrapped around your waist. You felt the person behind you press into your stomach from behind, making you heave. The smell of rose and vanilla enveloped you as you felt softness behind you.
“One more time,” a smooth voice grunted into your ear. You nodded, frantically, before the person pressed once more. The piece stuck in your throat flew out. You fell forward, your arms catching the table in front of you. Arms covered in a grey jacket held you steady as you caught your breath.
You heard claps, and you were so embarrassed.
“Are you okay?” You turned around and your breath got caught in your throat from the beauty in front of you. Her almond-shaped eyes crinkled as she gazed at you with concern.
Her pouty pink lips drew into a straight line before her fingers gently brushed the hair from your face. Your heart skipped a beat at the touch, before you nodded, holding in your breath, “I’m okay. Thank you.”
The goddess in front of you smiled, her short hair brushing her shoulders slightly, “Chew your food properly, doll.”
She shot you a wink and walked away with ease and confidence. You remained standing there, your hand over your pounding heart.
“Wow,” Naina gasped from behind you. You slipped into your seat, seeing their face mirror your awe, “I think I'm in love.”
“Me too,” Pam and you replied.
//
You walked into the office after two quick knocks for the sake of formality, and to piss of Jaebum.
Jaebum hated it whenever you did something that an employee was supposed to do, especially when no one else was around.
Jaebum’s office was supposed to be empty with just him sitting on the couch, he worked from.
So imagine your surprise when you walked into his office to find Jaebum and the gorgeous woman from the cafeteria tangled into one another.
You noticed how she was slightly perched on the dark wood of the sexy desk your friends had gushed about. You noticed how Jaebum’s hands spread on her back, and how her head dipped into his neck.
“Oh,” was all that left you. You didn’t know if you should walk back out or stand there until they noticed your presence.
Jaebum noticed you immediately and untangled himself from the woman instantly. You bit your cheek to hold in the urge to roll your eyes. He was going to pretend that you didn’t just walk into a moment in case you went back and reported to Heather.
Typical.
All men are trash.
And you knew Jaebum was just like everyone else already. You knew that the moment he decided to jump the boat from you and Heather literally five minutes after meeting you. He was no different to every other sleazy shit head to walk this earth.
The caught look on Jaebum’s face told you couldn’t hide the distaste from your face as your eyes settled on him.
“Hey, it’s you!” Her smooth voice chuckled, “You work for JB?”
“Everyone here does,” you gave her a curt smile back.
She could have saved you from hell but that didn’t excuse whatever her and Jaebum were up to before you walked in.
Your eyes drew back to Jaebum. The top button of his shirt open, his hair a mess and cheeks flushed. Biting your tongue, you tore your gaze away from him and the mess he echoed.
“She’s my assistant, y/n,” Jaebum finally croaked out. His eyes watching you.
You looked at the iPad in your hand instead of the pair in front of you, “You have a meeting with Mr Mark Tuan in twenty minutes, and dinner with Jackson Wang at eight.”
“No mister for Jackson?” the lady rose an eyebrow at you.
You gave her a polite smile, “No.”
She held your gaze for a moment longer, before turning to Jaebum. She let out a sigh as she hugged him once more. Jaebum hugged her back hesitantly this time, aware of your dark eyes watching them.
He patted her back twice and she moved away.
“It was nice seeing you after so long, JB,” she smiled at him. Jaebum smiled back at her this time, nodding in agreement. She patted his shoulder before picking up her bag from the chair next to the desk. “Oh, before I forget, guess who is back in town and wants to get into business with you?”
Jaebum frowned, and you watched the pair, almost sulking from your corner.
Her smile brightened with secrecy that made you listen intently, “Park Jinyoung.”
Your heart stopped.
“Hey y/n!” You blinked back to reality to find Jaebum in front of you. His eyes staring into yours as he rose his brows in question, “You alright?”
The grimace formed on your lips before you could hold it back. You didn’t even know what you were feeling but it wasn’t pleasant.
You felt it towards Jaebum and how he was hugging that girl. Not because of your feelings, but because he was with Heather.
Not that you had feelings for him or anything.
God, this was so confusing. On top of that, he was back in town.
You felt your frown deepen into a scowl as you glared at Jaebum.
You hissed at him, making him jump back slightly, “Get ready for the meeting. I’ve sent you the report for the meeting already.”
He opened his mouth to something, but you cut him off, “With notes, sir.”
You turned and began walking out of his office.
“Y/n,” Jaebum called out, but you ignored him.
//
Your foot kept tapping against the carpeted floor as you watched the numbers increase on the screen. You hadn't been able to keep still since the moment you heard the news.
Im Jaebum was no help either. All you wanted was to be left alone but he kept on trying to talk to you or kept on sending you to get coffee.
He didn’t take a single sip of those five iced americanos he ordered. All the cups piled on the floor next to the couch he sat on watching you with those dark eyes.
As soon as the clock hit seven-thirty, you called for Jaebum’s driver and rushed out of the office. You didn’t head home, you didn’t even consider going home for a second. Your feet without hesitation led you to Heather’s apartment.
You entered the code, your birthday, and entered the chilly room blasting with the AC high.
“Heather, I need wine and a good movie for crying. You won’t believe what I just- oh MY GOD- AHHHHHHH!” A bloodcurdling scream escaped you, as you fell onto the wall behind you.
When your scream settled as you took in the figure standing in the pink robe belonging to your best friend, you straightened, confused.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” You sneered.
“Wow, such a kind greeting for me,” Bambam rolled his eyes, before continuing to sip the glass of orange juice in his hand. You stared at him, your mind puzzled and trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.
“So what’s the tea?” Bambam smacked his lips before licking the droplets of juice remaining on them. He slammed the glass on the white marble, grinning at you. “Why do you need wine and a sad movie? Time of the month?”
“Why- What- How- Pink robe?” You stammered over your words pointing at him. Bambam stood there as if there was nothing weird about this situation. As if standing in nothing but another girl’s pink robe in a stranger’s kitchen was a normal occurrence for him. Your eyes narrowed at him, “Where’s Heather?”
“Y/n!” Heather appeared through her bedroom door. You took in her wet hair and silk robe, your eyes going to Bambam’s also wet hair. You frowned in confusion, and a fire blazed inside of you as an evil thought sprouted somewhere in the back of your mind.
Did they... Are they cheating on Jaebum?
Jaebum’s face from that night at the club invaded your mind. The smile on his face, the look in his eyes as he watched Heather with such softness, “It’s good she gets to live her life how she wants to.”
God. God.
What do you do?
You glared at Heather. Your eyes burned with betrayal from your friend and the anger that spread through your veins as you thought of Jaebum. You couldn’t bear to even imagine the sight of him heartbroken, defeated and cheated. You would rather the world end than see him like that.
“No, y/n!” Heather huffed taking a step towards you. The droplets from her long ember hair darkening the pink silk wrapped around her body. She took a step towards you and you almost took one back. But your feet remained still, as you saw the panic in her eyes, the desperation, “Let me explain.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that he is homeless?” You grunted at a dressed Heather sitting in front of you.
Bambam sat somewhere behind you, snorting, “I’m not homeless. Just low on cash and have no place to go.”
“That is literally homeless,” you turned towards him, giving him a smile.
“Basically,” Heather nodded, ignoring Bambam’s protest in the background. “I’m letting him stay here for a few weeks until his apartment problem is sorted out. I’m living at home anyways, but I came here today because I spilt coffee all over myself.”
“Oh,” you nodded. You weren’t completely convinced. She could’ve gone home, it was just ten minutes away. And why was both of their hair wet from the shower, when there is only one shower in the apartment. Maybe she might have kicked him out of the shower pulling ownership rank.
You had to believe her. There was no other explanation. The alternative was too cruel, and you would rather believe this than consider the dangerous alternative.
And how could you possibly not believe her? You knew Heather would do this in a heartbeat for anyone, she would do so much more then let others stay in her house. She had done the same for you once upon a time, she had done so much more.
She was even willing to buy you a house and you had to talk her out of it.
Yeah, there was no way anything was going on between Heather and Bambam. Whatever she said was the complete and absolute truth, there was no other alternative explanation needed or present.
Heather would never hurt someone else purposefully, she was pure and kind. She was not you.
“How come you’re here?” Heather asked, changing the subject.
“It’s nothing,” you shook your head.
“She's lying,” Bambam butted in. “She came in asking for wine and a movie that will make her cry. Something happened, or she’s on her period.”
Heather turned to you with a grave look, “What’s wrong, babe?”
You glared at Bambam, before turning to Heather. You let out a sigh as you picked your fingernails nervously. Heather instantly took your hands in hers making you meet her concerned green eyes, “What’s wrong?”
You frowned. Your lower lip trembling, “It’s -”
Ding Dong.
You and Heather turned towards the door, and then at Bambam. He let out an exhausted sigh, before he getting up, groaning.
“What am I meant to do? Send them away or- Oh, it's JB,” and without hesitation, he let the dark-haired male in.
Your frown deepened as you glared at the doorway he appeared through. His eyes landed on you right away and stayed on you. You held his gaze, your face darkening into a glare.
His rosy lips parted, his dark eyes filled with desperateness and despair as he held your gaze. It was as if all he saw in the room was you; as if the rest of the people, all disappeared.
It terrified you. It terrified you how this single moment made your heart flip and race. He terrified you.
“Oh good, you’re here Jaebum,” Heather spoke from behind you, and finally, Jaebum looked away from you. But it didn’t stay there, his dark eyes fell back on you, watching you intently.
Was he scared you would tell Heather what you saw in the office?
You scoffed at him, shaking your head as you looked away from him.
“Take Bambam out for a bit,” you heard your best friend’s sweet voice tell her boyfriend.
“I’m not a dog!” Bambam protested. Heather laughed behind you, but Jaebum and you didn’t as much as attempt to smile. Your eyes glittering with fire remained on him before you smirked at him.
You noticed his jaw tightened.
He was so pathetic.
You couldn’t believe you were worried about Heather cheating on him when he was almost dry humping another girl in his office. Well, you didn't see the humping, all you saw was the embrace, but you never know.
You can never know with guys like Im Jaebum, with their bad-news piercing and bad fuck-boy ways.
“Come on, let’s go,” Bambam began dragging Jaebum away, making him look away from you. “Clearly the ladies want us out.”
The door clicked behind them, and you felt your throat dry up.
Heather felt the tension too. She gently placed her fingers under your chin making you meet her gaze, “Now tell me, why do you need a sob night?”
“Heather,” you breathed. Your heart felt as if it would escape out of your chest. Your palms clasped sweatily, as you fisted them in your lap.
Two thoughts bounced around in your head, debating which one do you tell her.
Do you tell her about Im Jaebum who might have cheated on her if she hadn't walked in? Without any proof, without any certainty?
Or do you tell her what you wanted to, what had been bothering you since the afternoon?
“Heather,” her name left you shaky and weak, you gulped, your throat dry, “he’s back, and I might be seeing him around.”
Heather looked at you confused, and you continued, “He wants to get into business with Jaebum, and I'll have to be there.”
“Who, y/n?”
“Park Jinyoung,” you held in your breath.
Rage blazed through her emerald eyes matching the fire of her ember curls. She shot up from her seat, her fists clenched on her sides, “Fuck off if that asshole thinks he can come anywhere near you.”
You snorted, “He isn’t trying to come near me, Heather. He’s trying to do business with Jaebum.”
“I’ll talk to Jaebum to-”
“No.”
“No?”
You shook your head, “No, I can do this.”
Heather looked at you for a long moment.
You leaned into her, letting her engulf you into her arms, “Just let me be sad tonight and get ready for tomorrow.”
“My baby is all grown up,” She kissed your forehead, pulling you closer to her, “I’m so proud of you, but I’m always here for you.”
You nodded, you knew that.
The door of the apartment opened and you slightly turned to find Bambam walk in with four bottles of wine, “Are you guys ready to cry?”
You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but giggle as he popped one open and offered it to you.
“Fuck yeah!” Heather cheered. You all turned to her, surprised. Heather didn’t talk crude, but tonight she didn't care to act proper. She just rolled her eyes, “Tonight, we are improper human beings.”
Bambam turned to Jaebum who stood a few feet away, “You in?”
His dark eyes travelled to you once again. After a long moment, he nodded, finally, tearing his gaze away from you and to Bambam.
“Good, go get the glasses,” Bambam ordered him laughing. He turned to the front and pulled out the remote, “Notebook, Titanic --”
“One Day,” you say.
They all gasp and stare at you. You just shrug and take a sip of the wine.
“You really chose heartbreak today, huh?” Bambam snickered, pulling up Netflix. “One Day it is. Jaebum get the tissues ready.”
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lovelyshawnn · 4 years ago
Text
Sick Little Games
George Weasley x Reader, Draco Malfoy x Reader
Y/N and Draco were known as the ultimate slytherin duo. When she catches him in the act of infidelity, she makes it a goal to hurt him back as much as he hurt her. What starts as nothing but a sick little game, turns into something more with another red headed boy.
“what would malfoy think if he knew i was fucking his girl right now?” george grunted in my ear, hips thrusting into mine while my back was pressed against the prefect bathroom’s cold stone wall. my legs were wrapped around his waist, sultry moans tumbling out of my mouth as he fucked me senseless. his words only intensified the pleasure as i gripped on to his biceps for support. he could feel my wet pussy clenching around his throbbing cock, signfying that i was close to coming.
“what would your little boyfriend think if he knew how well you take my cum?” i let out a whimper as his thick cock hit my gspot, making my vision go completely white. “fuck y/n,” he grunted as his pace quickened. i let out a string of curse words, toes curling in pleasure as he rubbed my clit with his long slender fingers as we reached our orgasms together.
his movements slowed and eventually halted, cock still balls deep in me as he placed loving kisses all over my face. he slowly released me from his hold, planting my feet back on the ground before completely removing himself from me. with our chests still heaving, we transitioned from standing by the bathroom’s windows, to the warm bubbly bath. this was common thing for us, so naturally we were able to establish a routine. sneaking out of the dorms late at night to see each other, satisfying our thirsts for each other before taking a dip in the bath to relax and cleanse ourselves of our sins.
george’s hands worked its way down my neck and shoulders, rubbing out any knots while he gave me little pecks on my forehead. i smiled my first genuine smile of the day. i was constantly dragging myself throughout the day, in and out of my classes, plastering a fake smile until the clock struck a certain time at night where i would meet up with george. “so why are you still with that git anyways?”
i rolled my eyes at his choice of words. i considered not even replying at all, but one glance at his concentrated face with that accusational eyebrow raise, and i knew this was something he wasnt going to drop again.
“he loves me,” i sighed, shrugging my shoulders.
“he loves you? is that why you caught him fucking pansy parkinson in the forbidden section of the library?” georges hostile tone rang in my ears.
it was supposed to be our date night. draco knew how stressed i had been with all our recent exams, and how much i needed a break. my sweet, loving boyfriend of almost 2 years proposed we have a date night full of snuggles and snacks to relieve my stress. after getting dolled up and waiting in our slytherin common room for over an hour, i came to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to show up.
the silly thing was, i really tried to make excuses for him. blaise had strolled past on his way up to his dorm and asked why i was sitting there all alone. “just waiting on draco,” id say passively, in which he’d give me a pitiful smile before heading up. i thought, maybe he just got caught up on some of his prefect duties. or maybe he took a nap and overslept. or maybe he even got detention for the day, but he would never forget about me, right? surely he couldn’t forget about his own plans that he made.
i’d grown tired of sitting there all alone, letting my thoughts eat me alive. so i grabbed my book bag and decided to head to the library to get a head start on some homework. walking deeper and deeper into the dark library, thats when i heard it. the faint gasps and moans coming from a high pitched female voice. “ugh,” i thought, “who wouldn’t even have the decency to go to a private spot?”
i rounded the corner, my eyes almost bulging out of my skull as i took in the sight in front of me. a bright platinum head of hair stuffed into the crook of pansy parkinsons neck, as he fucked her on one of the library desks with her skirt hitched all the way up. they had been so into it that they didnt even see me. what gave it away was some stupid lamp falling over as i rushed out of the library, tears in my eyes. athough they stopped at the sound indicating someone was there, they never knew it was me.
my vision was blurry, tears streaming faster down my cheeks as i ran away. i wasnt sure where i was going, but i knew i had to be as far away as possible from that complete and utter asshole. from the second i saw him til now, a million feelings coursed through my body. i was devastated, devastated that the man i loved for 2 whole years had been lying to my face. how long was he unloyal for? was this the first time? these unanswered questions made me transition from grief to rage. i was infuriated that he took me as some kind of fool who would never find out about his cheating ways. i had been so caught up in my emotions that i didnt notice where i was going, smacking face first into a very toned chest.
“Woah! Y/N? You alright there, love?” George’s voice was impossible not to recognize. “Oh, I-I’m sorry,” I gasped before turning around to leave. His warm hand clasped around my wrist softly, tugging me back as one of his hands lifted my chin up so that he could inspect my face, and most importantly my blood shot eyes.
“You’re crying,” his voice was a lot softer than i’ve ever heard it before. with him being a gryffindor and me being a slytherin, i was used to the rude remarks he’d yell at us in the hallways. him and his lovely twin have always made my life here at hogwarts a living hell. as of recently, he went from constant bullying to the exact opposite. he was always throwing complements my way as loud and obnoxious as possible. and i knew he did it just to get a rise out of his most hated slytherin of all, draco. draco was always a possesive boyfriend, not wanting any guys to look at me. but having a weasley complement me out of everyone else would’ve drove him absolutely mad.
however, what started out as an excuse to piss off draco, had turned into something else. george couldn’t help but notice how my eyes were a lot browner than he remembered, a certain twinkle in them whenever i got excited talking to my housemates about something. he quickly found himself feeling jealous as malfoy walked through the halls with his arm around my shoulder.
of course, i was oblivious to all of this, which would’ve explained his soft tone. “I’m fine,” I sniffled, wiping my tears off with the sleeve of my sweater and avoiding direct eye contact. “Come with me,” he wasted no time, dragging me down the corridor before i could mutter a response. he led me to the prefect bathroom, opening the doors for me as i took in the beautiful mosaics.
“how did you even get the password?” i asked suspiciously to the troublesome boy.
he shrugged, “turned percy’s hair blue and wouldnt change it back until he’d tell me,”
i let out a snort, which i was quick to cover with a cough. only he could make me genuinely laugh after figuring out the man i had loved so deeply, didnt love me back enough to keep his dick in his pants. i turned away from his gaze, but he saw it. he took pride in being able to cause that gorgeous smile, but he was nice enough to not tease me about it tonight. he’d definitely bring it up another day, though.
“so, whats wrong?” he asked, arms crossed as he leaned against one of the porcelain sinks. i let out a sigh, debating on whether i should tell him at all. he was supposed to be our rival, afterall.
“draco cheated,” i stated. georges face softened, all traces of humor dissipating into thin air. “i’m sorry y/n,” he started, “that bloke doesn’t know what he’s got.”
for the first time that night, i looked up at him and saw the look he had in his eyes. the lingering gaze around my figure, the softness in his facial features, the way his eyes bored into mine with a sense of longing.
that was when a lightbulb when off in my head. ill admit that im not proud of what my next thought was, and it was definitely one of the most slytherin things i have ever done, but it was worth it. i wanted to hurt draco. i wanted him to feel as bad as i did, and i wanted revenge.
i strode over to his leaning frame, making it a point to swing my hips in the process. my lips formed a pout as i spoke to him in a low voice. “if he doesn’t know what hes got,” i trailed my fingers from his shoulders down to his chest, “who will?”
my lips got incredibly closer to the shell of his ear. “you?” i asked, cupping his buldge with my hand. he let out a barely audible whimper, eyes staring back at me like a deer in headlights.
i left a gentle kiss on his neck, “tell me if you want me to stop.” george shut his eyes for a split second, contemplating his morals. he weighed his options and outcomes. on one hand, he’d be able to piss off that spoiled brat malfoy, which would give him enough satisfaction to last him the rest of his life. on the other hand, he’d finally get to know what the taste of his crush’s lips were like. it was a win win situation. fuck it, he thought before closing the gap between us, lips moving in sync as the kiss became increasingly passionate. his hands roamed all over my body as i ran my fingers through his hair.
it was an amazing night, full of multiple orgasms that left me struggling to walk properly. george was certainly thicker than malfoy. the day after was when the feelings of sadness, regret, and confusion came sinking in. as soon as i woke up and left my dorm, there he was. in his perfect green uniform that perfectly matched his perfect porcelain skin. dracos head was held high, not a care in the world as it was obvious he completely forgot about our date night and had no idea i caught him and pansy red handed.
i walked past him, not even batting an eye in his direction as i made my way to the great hall. “y/n!” he called out, quickly catching up to me, “whats wrong?”
i rolled my eyes, “you forgot our date.” his eyes immediately widened as he realized his mistake, cheeks blushing like a tomato as he recalled where he was instead of the date. “darling, please forgive me. i’m so sorry, i just got caught up in my studi-“
i halted my steps, not wanting to listen to his bullshit excuse, “i forgive you.” he looked at me with bewilderment, “y-you forgive me?”
“of course,” i gave him the most convincingly sweet smile, “its not a big deal at all!”
his shoulders relaxed in relief at my words. oh, what a stupid boy. what a stupid, stupid boy. the only reason i was “forgiving him” was because i was going to hurt him back, a lot worse. he held my hand in his as we continued our stroll to the great hall, him lifting my hand up to plant a kiss on my knuckles.
right when he had done that, i locked eyes with a familiar red head from across the corridor. he smirked as he watched me, noticing the way my steps were slightly different than normal. it was the same shit eating smile he wore last night as he made me reach my 3rd orgasm, face buried between my legs and licking up my juices as if his life depended on it. i bit my lip as the flashback played in my head, instantly making me feel lightheaded again.
draco and i took our usual spots at the slytherin table, everything seemingly normal until the owls arrived. a letter had been dropped into my lap.
unravelling the parchment, there was a faint message scribbled across in black ink. “same time and place tonight?”
there was no name or any indication of identity, but i knew exactly who it was. luckily from where i was sitting at the table, i had a clear view of george. as i looked up from the letter, i instantly made eye contact with him, him giving me a sly wink before regurning to eat his mashed potatoes. he didnt need an answer, he knew id come back after the night we had togegher.
“whos that letter from?” a voice snapped me out of my haze. i jumped slightly before tucking the letter safely into my robe, “oh, it was just mum.”
“whatd she say?” draco questioned, slightly suspicious as he recognized me hiding the letter.
“she asked how you were, shes having dinner with your parents this weekend,” i said while gulping down my goblet of juice. draco seemed convinced at that answer, dropping his suspicions rather quickly, “oh thats right, mother was telling me about that.”
it was ironic, really. we were seen as the picture perfect duo. the slytherin prince with none other than his slytherin princess. we had the world in our hands, both coming from wealthy pureblood families. even our parents were over the moon at the news of our relationship blossoming, instantly talking about our plans for marriage in the future. but were we willing to throw that all away for these sick little games?
hi guys i know i usually write shawn fics but ive been into hp recently and wanted to give it a try! if u guys rlly like this one, id love to make a part 2 n finish the series (: pls lmk and give feedback! 🤍
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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 4 years ago
Text
Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter One
Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2101
Chapter Warning: Bad Language Words, tiny bit of angst
A/N: I started this on AO3 awhile ago. Now that I have a blog dedicated primarily to just Marvel/Bucky, I thought I’d add it here, too. Enjoy!
DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission.  
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Bucky heard his phone buzz as he was tugging a butter-soft tee over his head. He glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand next to his bed as he worked his arms into their respective holes.
9:36
Steve was long in bed already, so the text most likely wasn’t from him. Sam was on a me me kick-- No, what did he call them? Memes!-- of a disgruntled cat which he swore reminded him of the super soldier. He wouldn’t be surprised if it were him. Or possibly Nat. She picked up the new issue of Guns & Ammo the other day and was sending him pictures of a Mossberg MC1sc 9mm she was drooling over.
Smoothing the body of the shirt over his torso, Bucky ambled over to his bed. He snatched up the phone from the navy blue comforter and flipped it over. To his amazement, the text wasn’t from Sam or Nat. Or even Steve.
(917) 460-5480 work thing boring af. kinda tied one on. might be late meeting you tomorrow
He blinked several times at the message, uncertain how to respond. It was a wrong number, right? Bucky hadn’t made plans with anyone for tomorrow that he could remember. Plus, everyone he knew had the same work thing. And it was rarely boring.
Definitely a wrong number.
He set the phone down near the clock, choosing to ignore the text. Hopefully, whoever this person was, figured out quickly they were texting the wrong number and moved on.
Bucky pulled back the covers before climbing into bed. His body melted into the mattress, muscles relaxing for the first time since breakfast. Training had been non-stop all day today. It felt good to just be, for once.
He grabbed the book he was reading off the nightstand and opened it to the spot he left off. He cleared his mind, as best he could, and concentrated on the words on the page.
A few pages in, his phone vibrated alive again. Another text message.
(917) 460-5480 sis dont be mad youd be drinking too if you had to sit thru one of these business dinners
Bucky sighed. He had hoped his radio silence would have clued this person into their mistake. Wishful thinking. Before he could punch out a reply, another text came through.
(917) 460-5480 timmons is droning on about this new client. kill me now
He quickly typed out a reply:
(917) 308-3117 I think you sent this to me by mistake.
Bucky watched the text indicator pulse as this unknown person worked out their response.
(917) 460-5480 haha very funny sis
Bucky huffed at this person’s disbelief, thumbs working on typing out his next message.
(917) 308-3117 I’m not trying to be funny. I can’t be someone’s sister when I’m a man.
He set the phone down on the nightstand again, hoping this person finally took a hint. He opened his book back up to the current page, taking a deep breath.
The room’s silence was broken again by the loud thrumming of his phone skittering across the surface of the black wood veneer.
(917) 460-5480 how does kevin feel about this so close to the wedding???
(917)460-5480 will you still need a wedding dress or will you just get a tux???
(917) 460-5480 am i still your maid of honor???
Bucky chuckled at this girl (no, young woman) asking the essential questions.
(917) 308-3117 Your sister did not get a sex change. Yes, she will still need a wedding dress. Yes, you are still her maid of honor. Like I said before, wrong number.
An almost immediate reply came through.
(917) 460-5480 prove it
Bucky grew slightly irritated at the insinuation. Why couldn’t she take his word for it? He exhaled loudly through his nose.
(917) 308-3117 How?
A few moments passed before the device juddered in the palm of his large hand.
(917) 460-5480 selfie
Bucky blanched at the request. He could feel the color drain from his face, only to immediately heat with a blush. A selfie? That is the last thing he wanted to do.
Although he’d been exonerated for his crimes as The Winter Soldier, he still knew about the dislike people felt about him as a person, in general. They couldn’t get past the brainwashing or other persona. God knows he still struggled with it.
He couldn’t go broadcasting his face through texts to a stranger. What if she was one of those who didn’t understand he had no say in what he did or what happened to him under Hydra’s control?
What if he ignored the solicitation? He could do that. Maybe even turn off his phone.
She did seem the type to be very persistent until she got what she wanted.
True to form, another text rang through.
(917) 460-5480 i will keep texting until i see your manly face
One corner of his lips quirked higher. Yup, persistent.
He navigated to the camera app on his phone and switched it to selfie mode. He stared at the damp locks falling to his shoulders. His beard would require a trim soon, but it wasn’t scraggly. Luckily, he’d had the hindsight to shave his neckbeard in the shower earlier.
Was he considering this? Some girl says jump, and he asks how high?
He combed metal fingers through his hair, blowing out a breath.
(917) 460-5480 im waiting
Bucky growled at the text, running a hand over his face. “Okay, okay. Give me a second,” he said to his phone. He held it up to head height, half an arm’s length away.
Click!
He previewed the picture, assuring himself it didn’t reveal too much. It was, somehow, off-center, containing a bearded chin and half a smirked mouth, one nostril, and a half-lidded eye.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Bucky pulled the messaging app back up and then sent off the picture. He tossed the phone aside, not wanting to watch the taunting blinking dots as he waited for a reply.
The picture was barely recognizable, but someone like Steve or Nat could tell it was him. It would be okay. No one would know.
His phone vibrated violently near him on the bed. Bucky cautiously plucked the device up, debating whether he wanted to read her reply. What if it said, “Holy shit! You’re The Winter Soldier!”? The hope of this woman thinking he was just some regular guy knotted up his stomach. He didn’t know why he cared so much about whether this stranger thought he was The Soldier or not. He had no control over who believed the lies perpetrated as truth through the media. He could only wish for the best.
He blew out the breath he was holding in and eyed the phone’s screen.
(917) 460-5480 is it fair to say men shouldnt be allowed to have long eyelashes??
Bucky laughed and immediately thought of poor Steve.
(917) 308-3117 You should see my buddy’s. The girls swoon and complain at the same time.
He quickly added to the message thread:
(917) 308-3117 Am I correct to assume you believe I’m a man and not your sister?
The response was swift.
(917) 460-5480 oh shit ur not my sister
(917) 460-5480 this isnt 9173083447?
Bucky laughed again, the tension in his chest slowly unfurling.
(917) 308-3117 Unfortunately for you-- no.
(917) 460-5480 ugh im such an idiot sorry for the shit i said
(917) 308-3117 Don’t worry about it. I had a good laugh at your expense.
(917) 460-5480 oh god now i feel like a bigger ass
Bucky suddenly felt like backpedaling. He hadn’t meant for her to feel bad about her mistake. It was cute in a roundabout way.
(917) 308-3117 Please don’t be embarrassed. It was the highlight of my night.
(917) 460-5480 me forcing u to prove ur a man was the best part of ur night??
Bucky thought for a moment. Was it the best part? The training sessions had become monotonous lately, even with the new agents. The team hadn’t been on any missions in a few weeks, so it was pretty accurate to say he was bored around the compound.
(917) 308-3117 I suppose it was. Work’s been a little slow, and there’s only so much training you can do before it becomes tedious.
(917) 460-5480 training? r u in the military? ooh, r u an athlete??
A laugh bubbled up from his chest. It was comical to see her try to guess his profession. His selfie hadn’t announced who he was to her after all.
(917) 308-3117 Something like that.
(917) 460-5480 so mysterious! r u some assassin who needs to keep his identity secret? is that y ur selfie only showed a quarter of ur face??
He paled at the implication. Maybe she did know and was yanking his chain. How did he block numbers again?
Another text came through from the mystery woman:
(917) 460-5480 not that i mind u have a luscious mouth
Bucky guffawed at the comment as flames rose beneath the skin of his cheeks. He hadn’t remembered blushing this much in such a short amount of time in decades.
(917) 308-3117 How much have you had to drink tonight, doll?
(917) 460-5480 doll?? what r u my grandpa??
He chuckled again. God, he was old enough and then some.
(917) 460-5480 enough to not want to shoot my brains out but not enough to know this dinner isnt a party
(917) 308-3117 Maybe you should get back to your dinner? I don’t want to get you into trouble.
He regretted the text the second he pressed send. Was he trying to get rid of her? No. Or was he looking out for her? This person he knew nothing about. She was more entertaining than the recurring nightmare he’d been having for the last week, that's for sure. He'd cling to this unknown to avoid slipping into that black abyss.
(917) 460-5480 aww does the military-trained assassin athlete mchottie not want to talk with me anymore?? 🙁
(917) 308-3117 No!! I’m honestly concerned you’ll be reprimanded if you pay more attention to your phone than Timmons.
The last thing Bucky needed was to feel more guilt, especially if it was at the expense of someone’s livelihood. His shoulders were already heavy enough.
(917) 460-5480 thats sweet but dont worry ur pretty little head over me timmons wouldnt last a day w/o me
(917) 460-5480 timmons may be the boss but i run that office
He simpered at her swagger. He could only imagine what kind of office she worked in because, again, a total stranger. Did he want to get to know her more, or was this a one and done thing? Would she wake up tomorrow and want to continue the conversation or blow him off for the drunken mistake her first text had been?
Bucky stared at his phone for several more minutes, pondering precisely what he was doing and what his expectations of the night were. It’s not like he was going to meet her in person, right? Was he that delusional? He was an Avenger now. He didn’t get a social life. Not that he had one before but still.
He was startled from his reverie as the phone shook in his hand.
(917) 460-5480 did i scare you away??
(917) 308-3117 No. Just thinking about tomorrow.
(917) 460-5480 shit a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie must have a lot to prepare for mentally ill let u get ur rest
He smiled at the gesture. If only she knew.
(917) 308-3117 Send me a text when you get home. I want to make sure you arrived okay.
(917) 460-5480 such a gentleman! i don’t want to wake u if ur asleep tho
(917) 308-3117 I doubt I’ll be sleeping, but it’ll help ease my mind.
(917) 460-5480 alright ill shoot a text ttfn
(917) 308-3117 ttfn?
(917) 460-5480 ta ta for now god u r a grandpa
(917) 308-3117 Yeah, yeah
Bucky’s mouth split into yet, another grin as he set his phone down once again on the nightstand. He picked up his discarded book and found his place on the page. After a few minutes of re-reading the same paragraph over and over, he slipped the bookmark into the gutter of the book. His mind was too preoccupied with the thought of some random girl in the city at a boring work dinner. He realized he hadn’t stopped smiling since they temporarily said goodbye.
Maybe there was a good chance this conversation would carry into tomorrow.
CHAPTER TWO
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desertofsnowflakes · 3 years ago
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Incorrect Order Chapter 4 (Nessian AU)
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A/N: I know I haven't been able to update as fast as you'd want me to but I'll try to fix that. Your comments and feedbacks are very much appreciated. Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!
Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
Trigger Warnings: None really
1652words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3
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The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to do something they liked. That was the only way Cassian kept from spiraling. Since sending the woman to her own house, Cassian had more than a few moments when he wanted to repeatedly slam his head against a wall. That’s why he spent most of his time sparring with Azriel. He won’t admit he was simping for that woman in his free time too. Or maybe that was always.
Now, sprawled on a couch in front of the TV, with nothing to do but stare at a blank screen, Cassian led his thoughts to the box he kept all unwanted thoughts locked in. He thought about Tomas, her ex-boyfriend. Funny, he thought. I know her ex's name but not hers.
It took him a little too long the other day to realise they didn't exchange names. Again. He once thought that maybe she was purposely not giving him her name. That maybe, for her, he was just a random stranger who happened to save her life. He snorted. Surely anyone would know the name of the person they saved or was saved by— stranger or not. He supposed he'll have to make do with pronouns for now.
After she left his home, it took every scrap of self-restraint not to beat this Tomas dude to pulp and let him rot in the same alley he had the misfortune of meeting him in. He may or may not have been the cause for some extra injuries. Cassian appreciated the woman’s attempt at mercy. He, however, didn’t trust Tomas at all. He was dubious about just handing him over to the police. Who’s to know he won’t frame him and the woman for absurd things? Anyway, he left a note in Tomas’s house saying something like “Step out of line, lose your favourite part of anatomy. Name it and have it for your meal.” He made sure he printed so that no one would recognise his writing. Yet, all this didn’t calm his nerves one bit. He presumed he’ll have to stay on guard for some time now.
Now, back to the girl. He sighed. He didn’t dare change the sheets in his guest bedroom. He didn’t even let Mor use the room when she came over last weekend— which he could bet created suspicion. No, that room was only open when he craved her scent. He even realised one of his shirts was missing. He shrugged it off thinking he would've left it somewhere and just couldn't find it. Once she came to his house, he was constantly thinking about her. So much that now he started pinching himself often. It was the only way he could stop thinking about her— by creating physical pain.
Cassian glanced at the clock on the wall. 2.30 in the afternoon. He walked to the refrigerator and checked his freezer compartment. Huh. No ice-cream. He sighed, grabbed his jacket and keys and headed to the mall to get an ice-cream with a pout. He’ll have to leave for Rhys and Feyre’s first anniversary only around 5.30 to prepare everything. He has enough time to get an ice-cream and probably hang out for some time. Good enough to stop thinking about her. Or so he thought.
***
Nesta wasn’t sore anymore. Her headache was gone almost a week after the incident. Her nose didn’t hurt anymore. Okay, maybe a little bit. It didn’t hurt unless she bumped her nose against something. Today, her nose was dully throbbing because she hit her nose against a pillow yesterday. A very, very soft pillow and yet it hurt this much.
The man’s first-aid and medicines were really helpful.
It really wasn’t fair that he excelled at basic first aid too. It wasn’t fair that he looked so good. With black tattoos swirling over generously muscled arms and shoulder-length dark hair curling at the edges and gloriously tanned skin and hazel eyes with minute flecks of green and brown when taken a closer look at and dimples and—
A quiet “Who is it?” snapped Nesta out of her moping. She looked up to see Gwyn walking to her.
“Who is what?” she asked, feigning nonchalance. Gwyn's pursed lips and glare conveyed that her act wasn't enough.
“Who are you thinking about?” Gwyn clarified.
“What makes you think I'm thinking about someone?” Nesta retorted.
Gwyn sat on the chair next to her and started assisting with classifying the unceremonious heap of books on the table to be kept back in its correct positions on its own rack.
“Nesta,” Gwyn sighed, “Clotho assigned you this stack almost an hour ago. And you've barely finished a third of the stack. Normally, you'd finish stacks bigger than this in an hour. So there's clearly something.”
“It wasn't anyone,” Nesta mumbled.
As usual, Gwyn saw through her lie. “You were twirling your hair,” she said flatly.
Heat inched up her neck. “I was not!”
Gwyn murmured a “uh-huh” and they lapsed into an easy silence till they were almost over.
Gwyn's eyes lit up as it normally did whenever she got an idea. “Is it him? The guy you came with that day?”
Nesta scowled, “How do you know…” she broke off when she realised which 'that day' Gwyn was talking about. Nesta fought back a blush. “No, no, this isn't about him. We don't know each other. Much. Like, we've seen each other a number of times? That's it. Nothing else.” Cauldron, the first part was a complete lie. But at least the rest are true. Will Gwyn happen to know his name? Maybe I ought to ask her. Or maybe I shouldn't.
She should, she decided. She cleared her throat. “Uh, Gwyn? Do you happen to know his name?”
Gwyn frowned and asked, “He hasn't told you yet?”
Nesta shook her head and answered, “No, we, uh, forgot. I guess. We haven't really exchanged names.”
Gwyn nodded and smiled. “Well, he is—”
“Gwyn!” a voice called. “You can't expect me to come over to you and beg for you to help me. Help me only if you want to or don't work under me.”
Gwyn’s eyes widened. She abruptly stood up and mouthed, “Merrill. I gotta go. I’m so sorry.” She all but ran to Merrill, the very strict librarian Gwyn was working under.
Nesta sighed and continued her work. There wasn’t much left so she was able to finish fast. She picked her things and left the library with a word to Clotho, heading to the mall.
***
The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to also eat something they liked. So, ice-cream it was. After having his ice-cream, Cassian was aimlessly walking around the mall. Here, not more than a month ago, he met her for the first time. Almost a month ago. He huffed out a breath. The fact that he was pining for her this long blew his mind off. He—
“This is your fault— not mine. I’m not taking the blame for this,” he told her. They bumped into each other. Again.
Her lips quirked up. “It is kind of my fault. But blame this—,” she poked his chest, “— for making my nose hurt again.”
Just like that, his mood sobered. “How are you?” he asked.
She pointed at the cafe to her left. “Coffee?”
He nodded. Who was he to say no to her?
So they ordered coffee and talked about everything and nothing. He grinned and she laughed. He laughed and she smirked. He wouldn’t say he knew her well but he’d never seen her so carefree. Her laugh was like nectar for a starving man. Her eyes bright and welling up with tears from laughing.
“I don’t think I’ve laughed this much,” she said.
Cassian put a hand on his heart dramatically and said, “I know, I know. I’m very funny.”
Her lips kicked up a notch. She straightened as if she just realised something. He was about to ask when she drawled, “So I just realised that we still haven’t exchanged names.”
Oh. Right. Of course. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Usually, when people meet, they start with introductions but in our case we’ve literally bumped into each other three times and still we don’t know each other.” He shook his head and extended his hand. “Well, hello there. I’m—”
His phone rang in his pocket. Fuck. He was going to kill whoever was calling him now. He was so close to knowing her name. He pulled out his phone to see an incoming call from Azriel. He apologetically looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry. I wish I could choose not to take this call and instead kill this idiot but I can’t. Just give me a moment, okay?”
She nodded and he picked up his call.
“What do you want?” he hissed.
“It’s 5.30 already, you idiot. We’ve got to get the things ready for the party. Mor already went to get the cake and you’re not even at home. Where on all earth and hell are you?” came Az’s faint voice.
“15 minutes only? Mother above, I’m coming.” he said.
Az’s “make it fast” was the last thing he heard before hanging up. “I wish we could stay here and talk forever,” he said to her, “but I have something up in a short while and I totally didn’t realise time was passing this fast. I’m so sorry. It was nice talking to you. Really. And I wish we could meet again. Though without the bumping part.”
He grinned when she smiled and said, “Bye. Have a nice day.”
“You too,” he called back. He didn’t want to think he imagined the subtle look of disappointment on her face because hell, he was a walking epitome of disappointment right now.
taglist:
@shadowsinger07 @im-someone-i-guess @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @julian-blackthorn-supremacy @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @ladygabrielli1997 @nehemikkele @heartless--aromantic @sv0430 @ddsworldofbooks @irenethaleia @sjm-things @dontgetsalmonella
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talkfastromance4 · 4 years ago
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Just for the Night//calum hood
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First installment of NYE Chronicles!
Masterlist
NYE Chronicles masterlist
• • • •
You’d been equally looking forward to and dreading the New Year’s Eve party. Dreading it because your ex will be there but looking forward to it because the outfit you chose makes you look like a bombshell and will show your ex what they’ve lost. You’re still a little bruised from the break-up but the music is killer, the drinks are delicious and you’re as bubbly as the promised glass of champagne when midnight will toll.
You just finished taking a shot when your friend pulled on your shoulder and whispered quickly in your ear, “Jessie heard you’re here and wants to talk to you. I just saw him at the DJ booth. Go!”
Knowing how reminiscent your ex can be once they’ve been drinking, you slide the shot glass back on the bar top then zip away as quick as you can. You shuffle through bodies then hear your name being called by your ex. His voice is getting closer and you’re becoming more frantic until you find a very attractive looking guy watching you with a curious expression in his dark brown eyes.
You sprint towards the stranger, someone bumps you which causes you to fall into his arms. You smell the fresh leather of his jacket.
“I’m sorry, please go along with this my ex is right behind me,” you whisper quickly in his ear then pull back so you can press your lips to his.
His soft, velvety lips are hesitant at first but soon he takes the reins by cupping the back of your neck and sliding one hand down to your waist. He tastes like liquor with a hint of weed and spearmint gum, it makes your tongue tingle. You sink into the kiss, melting into him like the snow outside on the New York streets. It’s as if the whole world stops, it’s just you and him in this perfect moment.
“Y/N?”
“I thought the New Year’s kiss was supposed to be at midnight?”
Your stomach flips as you hear the deep and raspy Australian twang in his voice, it tickles your ears and makes goosebumps rise on your neck. You giggle at his comment then, regrettably, you and the perfect-as-hell-kiss stranger break apart to gaze stare at your ex. You’re hoping the stranger has a look of disdain as you do for being interrupted.
“Can we help you, mate?”
“I didn’t know you were seeing someone,” Jessie says, completely ignoring your perfect stranger.
“It’s not your concern,” you shrug. The motion makes you wobble on your feet and the perfect stranger makes sure you don’t fall.
“I think you should go enjoy the rest of your evening.” the perfect stranger’s fingers tickle the lower part of your back and you feel your ears heat up from the touch.
“Whatever,” Jessie mutters. They give you one more apprehensive look then disappear into the crowd.
You breathe out a sigh of relief then look up at your knight in shining black leather. There’s a hint of scruff around those perfectly shaped lips and it’s as if you suddenly realize what you did was uncalled for. Even though in the moment the kiss was spectacular. You readjust his jacket then pat his chest, pulling away from him and his warmth.
“Um, sorry for the ambush, but thank you. Happy New Year!” You squeak out then dart away from him.
“Oi! Hold on!”
You’re grabbed by the wrist and spun around thumping into the chest you just vacated. You could feel the vibration in his chest from his breathing.
“What if he comes back to find you?” he grins loosening the hold on your wrist. “As you new boyfriend I shouldn’t let that happen, yeah?”
“You’d do that for a stranger?”
“We just kissed, I don’t think that makes us strangers,” he smiles. “Just for the night. We’ll end and start the year with a new adventure. I’m Calum, by the way.”
“I’m Y/N.”
And so, your adventure begins. You have a small chat over a couple of drinks and you’re dying to kiss him again. You wonder how long it is until midnight until you could do so.
After you finished telling a story about the worst New Year’s ever, Calum kept glancing above your head until his eyes widened and he sucked in a breath.
“What is it? Is it my ex again?”
“No, it’s mine. C’mere,” he says gruffly then pulls you against him.
His warm lips crash over yours, your palms resting on his shoulders as he takes your breath away once more. Feeling bold and wanting to put on more of a show for his ex, you twist your fingers in his luscious hair and tug slightly. Calum grunts then parts your lips with his tongue, massaging yours.
Just like the first time, the world stops, it’s just you and Calum and the electricity coursing between you until you’re literally shoved off him.
“What the fu--?”
Calum’s hold on you is strong as you try to confront the girl in front of you who clearly shoved you. He blocks you from view as he talks lowly to her and keeps a firm grip on your wrists as you try to defend yourself. You try to struggle against him but inevitably give up and peer over his shoulder. The girl scoffs, stomps her foot, then leaves you two alone.
“Are you all right?” he asks, turning around and releases your wrists. He touches your cheek, his thumb pulling on your bottom lip to smooth out the pout that’s formed.
“I’m mad she shoved me. That was uncalled for,” you grumble.
“It was,” he nods then looks around the room. “Your ex saw the whole thing.” he looks back at you, his eyes flickering over you. “How about we get out of here? This party is a little too crowded with exes, don’t you think?”
“Where will we go? What time is it?”
“I’ve got an idea,” he smiles, eyes twinkling.
**
He took you to the artechouse, where different rooms are filled with lights in beautiful displays. Aside from a few other patrons, it’s pretty empty as you and Calum explore each room. It’s magical and hypnotic as you watch the colors join and blend on the floor and ceiling.
In one room, the display was shown to make the floor appear warped, and in your slightly inebriated state, you thought you were going to fall so you grabbed for his hand and held on tight. He didn’t let go.
He didn’t let go until you were in a room that tracked your movement and you saw yourself as a body of light on the wall. Calum watched you as you danced with the light, mesmerized by the movements as you spun and lifted your arms and legs. You spun into him, his face lit in the blue black of the light and he lowered his head to yours.
Wanting to tease him, you pulled away at the last second to move onto the next room. His deep chuckle follows you as you stand in the center of it. There’s a big swirl of light on the floor moving in a circular motion, as if in a time warp. Calum takes your hand, leading you to the center of it and twirls you with the circle.
The song quiets and a loud gong resembling a clock sounds throughout the building. It must be close to midnight. You count the clock down, Calum’s voice joining you.
“Three…”
“Two…”
He spins you into his chest, your breathing labored. The lights dance upon the both of you.
“One.”
The room changes to fireworks and exclaims from others in the building are heard as the new year has begun. Calum strokes your cheek with the back of his fingers until they curl at the nape of your neck, guiding you to him.
This is the third kiss you’ve shared tonight. And each one appears to be better than the last and you’re not quite sure how that’s possible. The fireworks show continues all around and you and Calum keep kissing until the room shifts back to normal. You both need to catch your breath, so you understand when he pulls away but you still want more and chase his lips for more. Your teeth catch his lower lip playfully.
“Happy New Year,” he mumbles.
“Happy New year,” you smile.
Your lips connect again, the new year is already starting out wonderful with a promise of even better days to come.
Taglist: @calpalirwin​​  @thecurlsofgod​​ @myloverboyash​​ @rotten-kandy​ @tea4sykes​ @jannimoeller3​ @loveroflrh​ @iovehemmings​ @cxddlyash​ @princesslrh​  @katiaw2​ @g-l-pierce​ @fairyintheglass​ @gosh-im-short​ @lukeisbaby @spicycal​ @mysticalhood​ @notinthesameguey​ @wastedheartcth​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @calumance​ @babylon-corgis​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​ @lanternlover2​ @istaywithmyjonas​ @calteahood​ @sarcastically-defensive17​ @another-lonely-heart​ @devilatmydoor​ @frontmanash​ @philthepegacorn​ @mantlereid @lukedorkyhemmings​ @addietagglikesbands​ @kikixfandoms @sanrioluke​ @mayve-hems​ @morguelth @haikucal​ @thatscooibaby​ @meghanrose05​ @idontneedanyone​ @dinosaursandsocks @haveufoundwhaturlooking4 @suchalonelysunflower​ @burstintocolor​ @zhangyixingxing1​ @dead-and-golden​ @mymindwide​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @stardust-galaxies​ @blackbutterfliescal​ @redrattlers​ @lovelybonesetc​ @karajaynetoday​ @quasighost​ @i-like-5sos​ @creampiecashton​ @calpops​ @superbloomed-c​ @ophelia-enthusiast​ @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof​ @flaneurcth​ @dariangarcia
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goldentsum · 4 years ago
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━ the bitterness of falling in love
PAIRING: bokuto x reader
GENRE: angst, smut
SUMMARY: 𝙗𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪 is someone who wears his heart on his sleeves and someone who loves too much even if the other person doesn’t deserves it. when he falls in love with the infamous l/n y/n who’s known to leave people crying, he took his chance and put his heart on the line.
ALTERNATIVE SUMMARY: “hearts are made to be broken, kou.”  “if it is then i wouldn’t mind, (y/n). it’s okay if you break my heart.”
WORDCOUNT: 4.6k
TAGS: toxic behavior, smut, angst, fuck buddies, obsessive themes, manipulative tendencies, praising, sub-ish! bokuto, asshole! reader, riding, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving with a little of male receiving too), bokuto loves you too much...
WARNING: do not proceed if you are easily triggered. do not romanticize this behavior. this type of relationship is toxic and should not be viewed as normal. also, WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT!
AUTHOR’S NOTE: this turned long tf? okay... sinful and messy with angst just how we like it huee~ i hope you liked this fuck-girl spin off~ <3 
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Bokuto knows that he shouldn’t love too much, he knows but he can’t really help it. He just pours so much emotion to everything he does and it’s both his strength and weakness. People can take advantage of that, he knows. Bokuto may wear his heart on his sleeves but he’s not an idiot as much as people like to think and just he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind that people can take advantage of him, he just wants to share his love and emotions with others.
“Bokuto- san, are you getting the hang of the new quick?” Hinata asked, drinking his water as they finished their practice. Bokuto looked at the shorter male, a wide toothy grin on his face, and huffed his chest in confidence. 
“Of course, Hinata! I’m Bokuto Koutarou, your senpai, after all!” He boasted while Atsumu and Sakusa watched the scene in the corner. 
“Geez, talk about ego.” Atsumu commented, wiping his sweat off. Sakusa scoffed at Atsumu’s words and walked away but not without saying, “You’re one to talk, Miya.” 
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean, Omi!” 
Bokuto and Hinata watched Atsumu chase after Sakusa with his sweaty small face towel while the latter cringed in disgust. Bokuto then ignored them, turning to Hinata with a grin. 
“Neh, Hinata~ Tell coach I’ll go on first, okay~ I have to meet up with someone,” Bokuto said, a small tint of blush on his face. Hinata looked at him for a moment with confusion but nodded. Once the shorter male responded, Bokuto thanked him and raced to his things, packing up and went straight for the door with a loud goodbye. 
“What’s wrong with ‘im?” Atsumu asked, stopping next to Hinata and draped an arm on the shorter male’s head. 
“I don’t know but Bokuto-san looks happy” 
Bokuto hurried his way to his girlfriend’s apartment, oh he meant his friend with benefits... He doesn’t like this arrangement, not one bit. but if this is the only way he can be close to you then he’ll take it. He’ll take any chances just to be close to you even if it means that he’ll end up hurting. 
The tall sweaty male was breathing heavily when he arrived at your apartment but his smile was unwavering, happy that after these past few days he could be with you again. 
Bokuto raised his hand to ring your doorbell but the door suddenly opened, surprising him. His smile slowly dropped when he saw that it wasn’t you but an unknown male exiting your apartment. 
“Oh, sorry dude.” The unknown male muttered then walked on his way out, letting Bokuto hold the door open. Wide golden eyes trained on the unknown male, observing him. He had curly brown hair, pale-ish skin, tall and lanky with a black outfit on. He was the complete opposite of Bokuto.
Bokuto ignored the voices in his head, trying to shake off the negative thoughts that started to corrupt his mind. His whole cheerful mood slowly diminished, he lowered his head while his thoughts ran like crazy. But he ignored it, he cleared his throat and widened his wobbly smile, picking his head back.
He walked in your apartment, calling out to you. “(Y/n)? I’m here! Are you still up for some food or did you change your mind?” 
You yawned and went to your kitchen where you saw Bokuto in your hallway, removing his shoes with his usual smile. Your mind started working again and your brows furrowed in thought, rubbing your nape
“Oh shit... That was today?” You muttered, your fingers pinching your nose bridge in slight annoyance. Bokuto’s smile faltered, his once shining eyes began to dim, but once again he covered it up. 
“It’s okay, (Y/n)-chan! We can reschedule if you want!” He suggested, stopping his movements to remove his other shoe. Bokuto straightened up when you looked over to him and he showed you his grin as if telling you it is alright. 
You sighed and shook your head, “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll change.” You answered after a while. Your tone was cold and it was as if you were gonna do something you didn’t want to do but was roped into. Your disinterested figure disappeared into your bedroom, leaving Bokuto alone. 
Bokuto finished removing his other shoe in silence, his teeth biting his lower lip. He left like shit. Like some trash  to make someone act like hanging out with him was a chore and like he was wasting their time. If it was anyone else, they can shove their opinion about him up their ass but yours was something far more valuable than anything in the world.  
He finished removing his shoes and walked in your kitchen, grabbing a glass to fill it up with water. He even forgot to change his clothes and fill his water bottle because of how fast he raced to you. 
“(Y/n), can I change my clothes in your bathroom?” Bokuto asked, going through his bag after he drank water and put the glass in your sink. 
“Yeah whatever” He heard your quiet response in your bedroom. He pursed his lips and went to the bathroom to change. The bathroom smelt like you. Your shampoo and body-wash filled the small room. Bokuto smiled at the familiar scent and started changing his clothes. 
When he finished, he looked in the mirror. Bokuto observed himself. Now, he wasn’t one to be cocky but people always said that he was handsome and the ‘perfect’ man or whatever that meant but why? Why don’t you think that-? 
He tried everything just to catch your attention but nothing got you. He tried to mold himself into your ideal type from what he heard about you. He changed his wardrobe, his hair (once), and even his personality a bit. When you told him that you hate childish people who whine about things, he suppressed everything in him to not be whiny and annoy you. Bokuto wanted to be mature for you. Just for you.
“Oy, Koutarou. Why are you taking so long? You died in there or something?” Your voice was a bit muffled on the other side of the door. Bokuto snapped out of his train of thoughts and smiled at the door. 
“’Course not! You wouldn’t get rid of me that easily, (Y/n)!” He said, going out of the bathroom and stood face to face with you. You looked at Bokuto from head to toe and nodded in approval with a small smile. 
“You clean up nice, Kou” 
Bokuto beamed at the compliment also noticing that your mood had gotten better than before. He giggled softly, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and nuzzled his face on top of your head.
“I’m glad... It’s all for you...” He whispered lovingly. Bokuto felt you tense a bit and you started to move away from him. He pouted at that but released you, knowing that it might dampen your mood again if he became clingy right now.
“Yeah yeah. Let’s go then, lover boy.” You said, clearing your throat as you dismissed his words. Bokuto smiled sadly at you and you felt his eyes on you but you didn’t look at him, going to the door to wear your shoes with Bokuto following you like a lost puppy. 
He sighed a bit, his small disheartened smile on his lips while he followed your actions. 
This is okay... I’m happy just to be with her...
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Bokuto’s and your ‘relationship’ continued with the former reminding himself that the situation can’t get better and that is his only shot with you. It was okay that he was hurting, at least he can be with the one he loves, right? 
Though his mood was noticeable, the Black Jackals saw that there was something wrong going on. His fake smile was getting too easy to read, his shaky smile present in his face as  he tried to put on his usual dazzling smile. Eyebags surround his exhausted golden eyes. Bokuto was slowly losing sleep with all his thoughts these past few days.
“Bokuto-san? A-Are you okay?” Hinata quietly asked the dazed male who looked at empty space. Bokuto looked at him with a tight weary smile and nodded, “Y-Yeah... I’m just tired, Hinata” 
“I think you should get some sleep, Bokuto-san...” Bokuto chuckled a bit at the younger’s words and nodded once again, “I will after practice don’t worry” 
he lied
Bokuto slept for about 30 minutes but woke up after a dreamless sleep. He groaned when he looked at the clock, the ticking was getting on his nerves. 
3 am 
And then a small ding came, his tired eyes widened in eagerness and a grin crept up on his face as he opened the text.
𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦: 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 (𝐲/𝐧) 🥺
If it was 3 am then maybe you would text him again for him to come over. This was your usual time where you ring his cell up, even though he was dead tired, the thought of you hitting him up and telling him that you need him was making his heart flutter. A smile started to fill up his lips unconsciously.
Bokuto got his phone and scrolled through his inbox, checking if you texted him already. He refreshed continuously as if it would make your awaited text come faster.
[₃:₂₁ ₐₘ]: 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘬𝘰𝘶. 𝘪’𝘮 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥
Your text message was fucking dry as ever but did Bokuto cared? no. He only cared that you texted him after another week without any trace of you. He was just happy that you finally texted him after a while, emotions clouding his judgement once again.
Bokuto sat up and texted you back quickly, confirming that he will go to you asap. After that, he threw his phone on the bed and freshened up. Going to his closet, he picked a black tee and jeans and sprayed a bit of cologne that he knows you liked. He got his phone, keys, and wallet and he was off to you. A lovesick smile on his face.
He arrived at your apartment in a jiffy, excited to see you, and rang your doorbell. Bouncing a bit on his feet while he waited for you. When the door opened, he saw wearing a short bodycon black sweater exposing your legs and neck with a bit of your collarbones. 
“Well, that was fast. A new record, Kou” You teased with a small smirk. Bokuto became putty at the sound of your voice and seeing you in front of him after loathing in self-pity and depreciating, it was like an elephant removed one of its feet on his chest.
Bokuto missed you so much and you’re so gorgeous, it hurts him. He just couldn’t control himself as he gulped, waking closer to you and hugged you tight in his chest, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. your sweet scent made his head dizzy, letting you and your scent engulf his whole being. 
“I missed you so much, (Y/n)... You don’t know how much I miss you” He muttered on top of your head as he walked you two in the apartment while his one hand closed the door. Bokuto hurriedly removed his shoes with his feet and pressed you against the wall. He started to kiss up and down your throat, teeth grazing the soft skin on your neck. Your cold hands went up to his messy hair, nails scratching his scalp sending shivers down his spine while you disregard his words.
“You drive me crazy, (Y/n)...” Bokuto continued, now against your neck, body pressed against yours. The feeling of the cold wall on your back and Bokuto’s warm body was slowly getting to you. You raised your leg up to his hip and pulled him closer to you. You felt his semi hard-on through his jeans as Bokuto pressed himself in your heat, slowly grinding up to you. 
“Shit, Kou... You feel so good” You let your lips touch his ear, your hot breath against the sensitive skin. Bokuto whined a bit at your teasing, your hands descending to feel his muscular chest, nails trailing on his clothed chest. 
He leaned away from your bruised neck to look at you, wild dilated eyes staring straight into you. You smirked up at him, fluttering your lashes so prettily and hooked your finger in his belt hoops, pulling him again to you. The action made your pressed groins to have some friction. 
Bokuto's eyes fluttered shut and lips parted slightly at the small pleasure, you smirked at his reaction. His reaction will always be your favorite. He was just too easy to play with, just a wag of your finger, he's gonna be looking at you with utmost admiration like a loyal mutt and that’s why you kept him longer than most of your other arrangements.
You captured his lips in a hot kiss, your tongue going inside his mouth without permission though the small thrust of his hips indicated that he’s not really complaining. His warm hands went to your thighs, gripping you in a tight hold and carried you with ease, letting you wrap your thighs around his hips. Your arms wrapping around his neck, tongue working in a frenzy motion, wet, sloppy, and messy. so messy. 
Bokuto carried you to the bedroom, careful of his movement to not bump into any furniture. He laid you down in the plush bed, muscular body covering yours. His hands wandered and went in your sweater, caressing your upper thighs. 
You released his lips, looking at him. Lips, red and swollen and so wet. Half-lidded dark golden eyes staring at you, switching from your eyes to your red lips. Despite the tense sexual atmosphere around you two, he placed a soft kiss on your cheek which surprised you.
You looked at him with confusion but Bokuto only smiled at you and then proceeded to kiss down your throat, to your collarbones and then knelt on the floor. 
Bokuto kissed your plush thighs lovingly, hands moving to let your legs so he can rest it on his shoulders. Your eyes met when he looked up at you, he once again smiled at you. 
“I’ll take care of you, (y/n)” He said tenderly, a sweet smile on his lips. Rough hands pushed your sweater up, bunching it up on your upper stomach. Golden eyes admired the sight in front of him. Soft skin presented to him, cute and soft thighs loosely wrapped around his head and your pussy covered by a pair of dainty red panties.
Bokuto reached up, caressing your covered pussy with the back of his fingers and felt the wet cloth on his skin. A small curse escaped him when he saw you sighed and your eyes fluttered close. He moved closer to your cunt, feeling your heat. His tongue peaked out and licked a long stripe on your covered cunt, dampening your panties with his saliva and your essence. He continued to lick you through the thin cloth. With his tongue pointy, he circled your clit gently. Your hand went straight to his hair, pulling him closer to you. 
The two-toned haired male sucked you through your panties, tasting you a bit. Releasing your clothed cunt, he looked at the darkened patch on your underwear, courtesy of his spit and your wetness. 
Impatiently, he removed your panties and quickly settled back in his position after helping you remove it. He looked at your pussy, admiring it, licking his lips, wanting to eat you more than ever. You sighed impatiently when nothing happened for a moment.
“Koutarou just fucking eat me out already” You groaned, grumpy, and jerked your hips to get him to start. Bokuto smiled at your actions and flattened his tongue, tasting you fully. He moaned at your taste and like a starved man, he ate you out like you’re his last meal. 
Tongue flicked your clit so expertly making your thighs slightly closed instinctively around his head but that only encouraged Bokuto, who now started to eat you out more aggressively. Your breath quickened at his actions, grinding on his tongue as it rubbed your bundle of nerves. He then inserted his tongue in you, thrusting and licking your velvety walls.
He released his grip from your thighs as one hand went to fondle puffy your clit while his tongue fucked into you. His tongue slick in your warmth and you pressed your pussy on his tongue to get him deeper. Pushing his face closer, you could feel him nudging you faster to your climax. With steady thrusting of his tongue and the rough rubs he gave your clit, your orgasm washed over you. 
“F-Fuck--!”
You started to jerk into his hold, moaning loudly and grinding your heat in his mouth. Bokuto lets you ride your high, licking you up happily and slurping up your juice. The wet noises so lewd and erotic in the the quiet room.
His other hand went south to palm his hard cock. Noticing this, you stopped his movements which confused Bokuto. He leaned away from your pussy, mouth dripping with your juice and his spit and his breath heavy from all the excitement. 
“W-What’s wrong, baby?” 
You ignored his words and pulled him up, laying him in the bed, sitting on top of his groin. Bokuto gasped in surprise at your action while you hissed at the sensitivity that coursed through your body but that didn’t stop you. The male also makes no movements to stop you, ready to satisfy you and wanting nothing more than to gain your praises. Whatever you want, he would deliver with no error. 
Lust filled eyes followed your figure as you copied his movements earlier, settling between his thick thighs. You unbuttoned his jeans, sliding it off roughly while Bokuto watched you, biting his lip, his body jerking at your rough actions. 
Once you got the pesky pants off his body, you admired the thick outline of his hard cock in his boxers. You let your hand drift and started rubbing him through the cloth. Bokuto closed his eyes at the pleasure, his dick was so hard that it really hurts and your soft touch was making him light-headed. 
Pulling his boxers off, his dick was fully exposed and was standing tall against his stomach, a large vein running down his length and his head flushed red and was leaking so much precum. You leaned closer and put small kitty licks on the engorged head of his cock, tasting him. Bokuto gulped at the sight of you, red hot blush on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful like this. 
“Baby.. Please fuck me..” He panted out, breathing heavily. You smirked up at him, eyes locking. “Since you asked so nicely, how can I deny you, Kou~” You purred, crawling up to take a seat on top of him once again, your pussy rubbing against his hard cock. 
“Shit, you feel so good-” Bokuto muttered, warm hands going to your hips, holding you tight. Your own hands hastily took off his tee, wanting to see his muscular chest. 
“You look so sexy like this, Kou” You praised, kissing on one of his pecs while you caressed the other, admiring the gorgeous muscles. Bokuto’s lips parted at your praises, hips grinding up at your wet cunt.
You could feel his dick twitching against you making you smile, “You’re really big on praises huh, baby boy?” 
“F-Fuck, yes--” 
Bokuto’s brows furrowed when you matched his grinding, doubling the pleasure he felt. His grip on your hips tightened, looking at your pussy that was moving against his dick. 
“You remembered to bring a condom this time, right Kou?” He freezes at that, looking up with alarmed eyes. You sighed at that, knowing that he forgot again but you were too horny right now and he looks so good under you. 
“Fuck it, just fuck me raw baby. I’m on my pill anyway” You muttered, kissing his ear, your tongue traced the shell slowly. Bokuto groaned at your words, feeling really impatient now. He lifted you up a bit to line this dick on your entrance, feeling your wet folds on his sensitive head. Bokuto hid his face on your neck, kissing the bruised skin. He didn’t move after that though, knowing that you were in control right now, not him. You smirked when Bokuto made no other move, mumbling a small praise because he remembered your ‘rules’.
You steadied yourself and slowly sunk down on his thick length, you two moaning in unison at the feeling. You forgot just how big Bokuto was, the sting was always there but god you loved it so much. 
Bokuto groans when your wet tight cunt wrapped around him so deliciously. Your soft walls encasing his cock, clenching around him. When he was fully inside you, you winced a bit at the pain and pleasure as his tip nudged your cervix slightly.
Your movements were slow at the beginning, trying to ease the sting but Bokuto didn’t mind and just enjoyed your slow build up, mouth open slightly with his eyes closed and brows furrowed in concentration. 
Watching his face, you quickened your pace when the sudden pleasure hit you, shivers running down your spine. The change of pace made Bokuto open his eyes in shock, mouth open into a silent gasp. He let his eyes travel your body, watching you, and one of his hands went up to your breast and thumbed the pebbled nipple. 
Your hand covered Bokuto’s and you squeezed your breast, your bouncing never faltering with the male’s other hand supporting you. His fat cock hitting your g-spot perfectly with every bounce you did, your release coming closer than you expected. You chased your pleasure, ignoring Bokuto’s but fuck with the way you were riding him like he was a toy for your own pleasure was getting him closer to his high as well. Your wet pussy sliding on his cock, feeling your tight walls sucking his cock again and again as you ride him.
You let your other hand rest on his chest for leverage, swirling your hips on Bokuto’s dick. Bokuto’s fingers went to your neglected swollen clit, rubbing fast circles making you gasp in surprise and pleasure, looking at him with wide lustful eyes. 
“S-Shit, just like that baby... You make me feel so good, Kou--” You whispered, riding him faster and the added clit stimulation Bokuto gave you pushed you off the edge, the coil in your stomach snapped and your orgasm washed over your entire being for the second time. You moaned his name, praising him again and again which encouraged Bokuto’s actions to speed up even more.
Bokuto groaned when you clenched around his cock tightly and taking your hips in on his hold, thrusting up into you vigorously, chasing his own orgasm and letting you ride your own. 
With a few sharp pumps, he spilled his load in you, his cum coated your velvety walls with white ropes. “S-Shit, (Y/n)!” You grabbed his face and placed a hard sloppy kiss on his lips, Bokuto groaning on your lips while his hips still moved frantically to ride his high. Tongue swirling with each other, caressing in a frenzy motion.
When his high slowly died down and his thrust came to a stop, you released him from the kiss and slumped on his chest, tired. Bokuto wrapped his arm around your waist, pressing you in his sweaty body. You groaned in discomfort of the heat and sweat but decided to just let Bokuto be. 
Silence surrounded you when your harsh uneven breaths died down, the cold air nipping against your skin. Bokuto runs his hand on your back, drawing circles on your skin. 
This only really happened with Bokuto, your other friend with benefits never stayed long in your apartment. You always kicked them out right after sex but you guess, Bokuto was a bit special... but it doesn’t mean that you like him or anything. He was just fun to play with, yeah that’s it. 
“(Y/n)? You awake?” Bokuto’s unusual soft voice called out. You hummed against his chest but didn’t pick your head up, feeling lazy and tired. 
“Can... Can I ask a question?” 
“You already did though.” 
Bokuto chuckled nervously at your response making you leaned away a bit to look up at him. His golden eyes shone under your soft fluorescent lamp.
“Why do you-- do you like this type of arrangement?” He finally asked after a while of contemplating. You raised a brow at his question, “Why? Do you have a problem with it? If you have, you can always get-” 
Bokuto shook his head frantically, not letting you finish your words, “N-No, that’s not what I meant! Just why in general, of course!” 
You hummed once again, scanning his expression before continuing, “Love is shit, that’s why. It’s fake and make people believe in it and when they’re in too deep, it shows it’s real colors and hurt you”
Bokuto’s eyes softened at your words, he never thought about that. Who hurt you this bad that they made you lose faith in love? 
“Love is beautiful though. Yes, it might not be perfect but it’s beautiful” Bokuto answered back more softly, tucking a loose strand of your hair on your ear with a loving smile on his face while he admired you. 
Your heart slowly beat at his actions, looking at Bokuto with uncertainty but you shook your head, getting rid of your thoughts and scoffed. 
“Hearts are made to be broken, Kou” 
Bokuto’s eyebrows curled in sadness, eyes soft and the fingers that traced your skin stopped for a moment,  “if it is then i wouldn’t mind, (y/n). it’s okay if you break my heart.”
Your heart crumpled in guilt at his selfless words for once and you shook your head in disbelief, chuckling fakely, “You’re an idiot, Kou. Don’t do that to yourself”
The two-tone haired male continued to trace your features with sad eyes, a small bittersweet smile on his face as if he accepted it already, “if it means that I can be with you, I’ll do anything, (y/n).”
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justoneday-namjoonii · 4 years ago
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forgive me
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anon request: “I really love the way you write angsty stuff so if u want, can u write a scene where jungkook is like involved in illegal stuff like drugs or maybe he's a hitman, Y/N and Jungkook have a conflict about that because she's not happy with what he does, he gets hurt a lot but he enjoys his job and doesn't wanna give it up cuz he loves the thrill. It can be an emotional scene where Y/N tells him that she's afraid of losing him because of what he does. Honestly come up with anything, I don't mind 😂”
prompt: Jungkook is a druglord, you’re a waitress at a shabby burger place. He loves what he does and even though you try to ignore it, it scares you. You fear you’ll lose him if he doesn’t quit and he’s all you have. Your so called family are full of lies and if it wasn’t for Jungkook, you don’t know where you’d be. You wonder every night if the sirens you hear are for him—you pray it’s not for him. Secretly, he feels the same about you.
pairing: Jungkook x reader
genre: angst, drabble, mental health issues, mentions of murder, mature subject matter
author’s note: For the anon who requested this, this is for you! I hope you enjoy~ did i watch Truth be Told and decide to make the OC a twin? yes, yes i did
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When you opened your eyes, you started to feel around for your cellphone. When you couldn't feel for it, you rolled over and yawned, it's probably under the bed. That's where its gonna stay too. As soon as you got home from work, you fell face-first into your bed and taking a shower was the last thing on your mind. But now you're feeling the stale department store smell on your clothes. It takes about two minutes for you to roll out of bed and realize you that Jungkook should have been here by now. You grab your phone and see two missed calls and a text from 2 hours ago.
jungkook💖💫: im sorry ill be over a little later baby, something came up 
jungkook💖💫: i miss you angel
You smile, he always misses you. And you miss him too, but you know he's probably out there in the slums of the city, doing what he does. How you lucked out with him, you have no idea. One night you were trying to call an Uber to get home from a birthday party at the club. It was around midnight and you had to work so you couldn't hang with the hardcore crowd. You went outside to call for a ride but you were being watched. Some guy kept catcalling, just outright harassing you. It was the scariest night of your life. You were telling him to leave you alone but he was drunk or high, either way, he wasn't all there. He snatched your phone. Just when you thought he was going to grab you, a black sports car, one you would have had to work two lifetimes to afford, stopped at the light. And before you know it, the man trying to get you is being dragged into the alley where he probably would have taken you. You remember being frozen, all you could hear was cursing and blunt force. The mystery man, whose car is still in the middle of the road, emerges from the dark corner between the buildings.
You were completely taken. The smile, the hair, the tattoos, and dangling earrings, paired with a striking gaze—he was an angel. He was so beautiful and he was just looking at you stand there with your mouth open.
"If there's one thing I hate, oh here you go," He hands you your phone and you get a nice look at his hand tattoo, "it's motherfuckers who can't leave women the fuck alone. Sorry you had to deal with that, but he won't be bothering you or anyone else after tonight, or use his hands again," He sighs, fixing his clothes a bit and wiping the blood from the corner of his lip, "are you okay?"
"Yeah, thank you," You slip the phone in your bomber jacket pockets, "not a lot of people would stop a stupid guy from bothering a girl they don't even know."
"Yeah, I'm Jungkook by the way," He introduces himself with a smile, situating his nice clothes, "do you- Um, did you need a ride? I'm not a creep I swear," He holds his hands up in surrender when you furrow your brows at the suggesting—great, now she thinks I'm a pervert. 
"I didn't stop that guy as blackmail to get laid, I just-" He pauses to grapple for the right words, "I saw you just standing on the curb and I know it's not safe out here-"
"If it's not any trouble," You interrupt his rambling, "I live about 15 minutes away, I was gonna call a ride but if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it. My name is Y/n, by the way."
That night changed your life forever. It was the first time you had wanted to kiss a stranger, the first night you ever came close to a soulmate. He confesses to having seen you in the club, he was at the bar, refusing offers from every girl from the bartenders to cougars out on the town, at least that's what you always thought. In that little fifteen minutes, you got to know very little about him but you felt so comfortable sharing things about yourself when he asked. He dropped you off and said if you ever needed anything, to give him a call. 
You never got to use the number because you ended up seeing him again. He showed up to your job, but he wasn't there for you, he was there for one of your money laundering and pill-popping associates. You were taking a break and for some reason, the break room was eerily empty. After you heard gunshots and the whole store went into chaos. You remember trying to leave and suddenly being swept away and into an outside electrical room apart of the building. You calmed down enough to realize that it was him but you were baffled.
"What're the odds that you would work at the same place as that bastard," He fiddles with the gun, tucking it to his side and flipping on the safety and pulling off his mask with a toothy grin, "do you remember me?"
"You?... Jungkook, how did you- Why are you-..." You make a small step back and swallow, scrambling to think of something to say. "Have you been following me like some creep?!"
"No! this is just a run-in by fate, I swear I didn't plan it. I'm not even supposed to still be here but I couldn't just leave, not without saying something to you."
"Okay...What do you want to say? I have to get back on the clock." You look him up and down, his all-black clothes and heavy boots intimidating but alluring in many ways.
"Wanna grab a coffee?"
For some reason, you said yes to the familiar stranger.
"Sure- I mean no! No, I can't Jungkook, I have to get back to work-"
"Trust me, just come with me," He extends his hand for you to take and smiles, "you won't regret it."
You took his hand and never looked back.
* * *
Nights like this.
When it's too early to ruin his life and too late to pretend like he wouldn't care. So when he shows up to the lounge to enforce an unpaid debt from a client, he leaves with bruised knuckles, two grand, and a rush of adrenaline. He went a little hard on the guy, but can you blame him? He messed up his plans. Tonight is date night, also known as 'crash at your place' night. It worked out though, you had to work late so he wouldn't be too tardy. Judging by the fact that you haven't answered your phone, you must be knocked out.
He slips his hand into his pocket and fumbles with his keys until he finds the one to your apartment. When he walks inside he hears the sink on and smiles to himself, you must've just woken up. 
"Baby, it's me," He announces himself, "how was your day?"
"Fine," You step out in your work clothes, still trying to get your earrings out, "as fine as a day working for the devil could be." 
"That bad?" You take note of the silk black shirt that's rolled up to his elbows, letting you see his beautiful sleeve of tattoos. When he comes dressed like this, and smelling like smoke you know he's been out into high-end clubs. The way some of the women look at him makes you feel small and a little self-conscious. But he always reassures you that you're who he wants, not some woman who sees him as an experimental one-night stand. When he tells you to meet him in the restroom because he needs to tell you something, you're reminded that you're all he wants.
"She screwed the schedule. My only day off was taken because her favorite, Kasey, has to go out of town."
He unbuttons the buttons on his shirt with deliberate fingers. "You walked out on a job for me before, remember that?" He smiles, letting his shirt fall from his shoulders like a dream. A bruise on his upper arm catches your attention but you don't say anything. "If you're not happy, just leave. I can take care of you, you can be my sugar baby."
"Yeah, my step-mom would love that, I could see it now," You cringe at the thought, "Hey, just a heads up, I'm not working or married but I have a sugar daddy who pays all my bills and lets me use his money for free, oh, he's also a drug lord. She'd really think highly of me then." 
"Fuck Carol, she's a judgmental priss anyway," He comes up to you, hands finding your waist, "why do you care what she thinks about you?" 
"I don't care what she thinks, but if she finds out she'll tell my dad and I don't want to hear it from him. If he pretends to not be disappointed by the lesser-twin one more time, I'll actually cuss him out...He's such a liar, he lied to my mom and he lies to me.”
"Quit saying that," Jungkook grabs you under your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist so he can sit on the edge of your bed, "you're not the lesser-twin, you're the cute and sexy twin." You sit back on his thighs and you both laugh at his attempt to lighten your mood.
"Well, I'm not a successful surgeon and I'm broke as hell, but at least my boyfriend thinks I'm cute." His hands find their way to the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head, revealing a disappointing tank top.
"See, this is disappointing. Why are you wearing a tank top? It's a hundred degrees outside." He sighs, looking up at you like a pouting little kid.
"Because I want to," You grin, brushing his hair from his brows, revealing a scratch, "you're cut."
"Yeah, had a run-in with an old friend, we're obviously not friends anymore."
"You should take me with you on these deals and stuff, I'd make a great bodyguard for you," You joke, "if you showed me how to use a gun."
"You?" He giggles at the image of you secretly acting as a bodyguard, a dagger, and a gun in a garter under a skintight dress. "That's not a bad idea, they'd be too distracted looking at how fucking beautiful you are to see you as a threat."
"Yeah, I always saw as the Bonnie & Clyde type of couple," He leans up to kiss you and you smile through it before he pulls away, "eh, you need to shower, you smell like weed."
He furrows his brows, a snarky smile on his mouth. "And you smell like French fries, but I still kissed you.”
"Touche." You can't argue with that, the French fries smell gets to you too.
He picks you up, carrying you to the bathroom with a beaming smile.
"Let's shower then."
 * * *
A deal went bad, he got grazed by a bullet and spent a few hours at the emergency room.
When he pulled in to the driveway and saw your car, he sighed in relief—he was hoping you'd come. After work, you had come by earlier to clear your head and take a breather from your cramped apartment and rowdy neighbors. Ever since his 'new position' he was put up in this huge mansion, equipped with a full staff. Luckily, they were off tonight so no need to keep quiet.
It's getting late and you've been trying to watch a baking show to stay awake but it was getting difficult. He hadn't called or answered any of your calls or texts. When you hear the garage door open, your heavy lids lift and you yawn, trying to wake up so you can tell him how your day has been.
He opens the door with a deep sigh and he's glad you can't see the thick white bandage on his upper arm and tired shadows under his eyes because of the dim lights. "Jungkook, it's so late..." You mumble, sitting up. "what took you so long?"
"Yeah, baby, I just had a mix up with someone who owed the group a lot of money, they, uh- They opened fire and we had a lot to clean up." He offhandedly mentions that and goes to the bathroom to change and you just wait for him.
The painkiller is wearing off but he manages to brush his teeth and slip into some sweats and a t-shirt. After flicking the light switch off, he falls into bed with a heavy exhale. Glad to finally have him close so you can tell him about your terrible day, you turn to hug him, and instantly a wince of pain leaves his mouth. 
"Sorry," You giggled, thinking he was just kidding until you see the bandage on his arm, "Oh my gosh," You sit up, hand reaching for his bandage with concern in your brows, "what happened?"
"It's nothing baby, I was grazed by a bullet and had to go to the ER," He spares you a weak grin, hand rustling through his damp locks, "but it's nothing, I feel fine."
It's always nothing to him. You lean down and place a gentle kiss on his forehead, one he would normally place on you. Nights go by and you know he's out there risking his life, not thinking how devastated you would be if one night he doesn't come back.  
He caresses the apple of your cheek, lips parting when sits up to try to kiss you, but you pull away.
"Hey, I've had a long day I just want to kiss you," He sits up now, "talk to me." 
"Talk to yourself, I'm going to sleep."
"Where the fuck is this coming from?" He glares at you, tone firmer than before. "Y/n, cut the crap. What's the problem?"
"Jungkook, there's no problem I just worry about you."
"I don't mean to make you worry," He speaks softly, "but you know this is what I do, I can't stop now, even if I wanted to."
"I know," Sadly, "but you're all I have."
He tilts his head, a bit confused. "What happened?"
"My sister called when I got off of work. My dad isn't doing well, his liver is in terrible condition and he needs a transplant...He's on a wait-list now." 
Knowing the severed relationship you have with your family, he treads lightly when requesting this. "Do you want to go see him?-"
"No!" You snap. "Why would I want to see him? This is what he gets for killing my mother."
"Y/n, you don't mean that..." Jungkook gets uncomfortable when you enter that head-space, you become ruthless in your words and your eyes glaze over with something he has yet to understand.
"Why not? It's true. He was cheating on her, that's why he never came home and she thought something was wrong. So drove out in the middle of the night during a storm and ended up crashing into a tree, because of him. My sister has always defended him, but I think it's because she didn't like mom either...The two of them may have cried at the funeral but I know them, they were glad she left us. That's why I need you, Jungkook, I don't have them or want them..."
"Y/n, you have to learn to forgive them for whatever you think they did, it's going to drive you insane if you don't...Fuck them, spend your energy on us, okay?"
"I'm already insane, I'm with you, aren't I? You come close to being killed every week, and it bothers me to think you might not come home...But I'll go through that if it means I get to have you, I love you, I only love you..." You lay your head on his shoulder.
He’s your angel.
You aren’t sure what you are to him.
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hopelikethemoon · 4 years ago
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Stircrazy (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}
Title: Stircrazy Rating: PG-13 Length: 2300 Warnings: Angst Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set November 1991.  Summary: Javier grapples with his feelings after Reader was shot. 
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Javier couldn’t remember a span of time in the past five years where he hadn’t looked up from his desk and seen her sitting across from him. 
He knew where she was — logically, he knew she had been in the hospital and now she was home resting. All her shit was still on her desk, right where she’d left it that grim day. He knew she’d be back, but it still didn’t sit well with him to see an empty desk. 
She could’ve died. There was so much fucking blood and she had looked so frail laying there, bleeding out on the blacktop. 
He’d seen death. He’d caused death. 
Javier wasn’t certain he could’ve coped with her death. If her desk was vacant because she was gone. He’d tear the whole fucking drug industry apart with his bare hands.
It shouldn’t have gotten to him as much as it had. Steve was worried, like any friend would be, but Javier was devastated. 
And clearly it was obvious that he was fucked up, because he’d already had to sit through half a dozen meetings with the director. They could tell he was off his game. Wouldn’t anyone be if they’d seen their partner almost die?
At least he tried to convince himself that he’d feel this same way if it had been Steve instead of her. 
The second the clock struck five, Javier was on his feet and pulling his leather jacket one.
“Hot date?” Steve questioned, tucking his pencil behind his ear as he looked up from the report he was combing through. 
“Nah,” He shook his head, keeping his face as neutral as possible as he met Steve’s gaze. “It’s been a couple days and I thought I’d swing by and check out—“ He nodded his head towards her desk.
Steve’s brows rose upwards, “You know, Connie asked me to check in on her today. These files can wait until Monday.” He stood up and tossed the pencil back on his desk, grabbing his own jacket. “I’ll come with you.”
Javier tried to mask his disappointment — because there shouldn’t have been any. This weird feeling he felt for her wasn’t a welcome one. But seeing her like that had uncorked the bottle of emotions he felt and he didn’t know how to stuff it all back in. 
He cared about her and he knew it went beyond the lines of friendship. If Steve hadn’t shown up when he did that day — he might’ve confessed his stupid fucking infatuation, right there as she bleed out in his arms. 
But he was the same fucking idiot who hadn’t called her in three days. He’d been there when she got discharged and then—
“You good Peña?”
He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah.”
The ride over to her apartment was unnecessarily tense. Useless chit chat about work, the bullshit meetings with the director, and where Javier was headed after they left her apartment. 
In the stupid scenario he’d come up with that morning, he’d pictured himself unwinding with her on the sofa, watching telenovelas and… nope. He wasn’t going to let himself go down that path. 
Whatever he felt was just his brain over-compensating from the shock of it all. There was no them, beyond being friends and partners. 
It wasn’t like she’d called him over the past three days. It clearly wasn’t like that for her. 
Steve leaned against the wall beside her apartment door, while Javier knocked at it. It took her a minute, maybe two before she answered — and the look on her face made it worth it.
“You asshole!” She shouted with a laugh as she swung the door open. “You gave me a fucking heart attack.” She hobbled forward without hesitation and threw her arms around him. 
Javier curled an arm around her, running his hand up and down the length of her back. “Hey hobble horse.” He murmured warmly, inhaling deeply as he savored the moment. 
“Oh, fuck you.” She laughed, punching him in the arm. 
“How are you feeling?”
“Better now,” She said as she pulled back, grinning at him. “Much better now.”
Steve cleared his throat and she whipped around, “Steve!”
“Look at you up and around.”
She pulled away from Javier and moved to give Steve a quick hug too. It didn’t linger the way theirs had. And he hated himself for even comparing the two. 
“I’m so glad you assholes finally decided to come visit me.” She remarked, looking towards Javier then. “I fucking miss work.”
Javier chuckled, “If I’d known you were missing work that badly, I would’ve brought you a stack of paperwork to sort through.” His brows rose upwards as he spotted the gun she had tucked into her waistband. “Expecting a different type of company?” 
She bit down on your bottom lip, nodding your head towards the apartment. “Come in, we can talk.” She looked towards Steve, “Both of you. Please come in.” 
“Don’t worry, I didn’t think you were gonna leave me out here in the hall,” Steve offered with a good natured laugh, following them into her apartment. 
“Sorry it’s a mess,” She made a face, gesturing around the apartment m. “I haven’t really been up for cleaning and shit.” She grabbed up two empty beer bottles, hobbling into the kitchen to throw them away. 
“You know you’re not supposed to be drinking with the meds you got sent home with.” Steve cautioned, hands on his hips as she returned from the kitchen. “Am I going to have to tell Connie?”
Javier tensed as her gaze darted towards him warily. She was chewing on her bottom lip, trying to look unaffected as she hobbled over to the sofa, flopping down and propping her leg up on the coffee table. “The Percocet makes me feel like shit, I’m not taking it.” 
“Popping ibuprofen instead?” 
“Steve.” Javier warned — he didn’t know about her past, not the way he did. 
She shrugged casually, shutting the TV off. “Ibuprofen does the trick.” She rubbed her hands together as she looked between the two men. “So, what compelled the two of you to swing by? On your way out for a drink and wanting to rub it in?”
Steve scratched at the back of his neck. “Javier mentioned that he’d be coming by after work so I thought I’d tag-along.” 
“Oh,” She nodded, looking at Javier as he perched himself on the arm of the sofa. His teeth were clenched together so tightly, he could feel the way his muscle ticked under the pressure. “I thought he’d lost my number after I got discharged.” 
“Ha. Ha.” Javier snorted, shaking his head as he drummed his fingers against the arm rest. “It’s been fucking hell at work.” 
“He’s had about four-dozen meetings in regards to the shooting,” Steve admitted, sinking down into the armchair across from them. “You should be glad you’re out for the time being. You’ll get to avoid all that bullshit.” 
“I’ve had two calls with the director,” She revealed with another shrug. “And I’ve got to go through a psych eval before I’m even allowed back in the field.” 
“Shit.” Javier’s head snapped to look at her, his brows drawn together. “When do you think you’ll be back?”
“After the new year probably,” She chewed on her bottom lip. “They, uh… I don’t think they want me back until I’m fully healed.” 
Steve whistled, “Damn.” 
Javier was still staring at her, “Two months? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Unfortunately, I’m not joking.” She sank back against the sofa, rubbing at her thigh just above where the wraps were. “I’m gonna go fucking stircrazy.” 
“If you took your pain pills, it would help.” Steve pointed out and Javier shot him another look. 
She nodded slowly, “I’ll get right on that.” 
Javier cleared his throat, “So what have you been doing to keep from losing it?” 
“Sleeping until ten, watching novellas, and I’m thinking about trying a new cookie recipe every day.” She laughed quietly, “I’ve already lost it.” 
He clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Well, stircrazy looks good on you.”
“I’m flattered.” She retorted, gesturing to her hair. “I call this the rat’s nest. I haven’t showered since I got out.”
“Why not?” Javier questioned.
“I’m not supposed to get the wrappings wet and I haven’t had it in me to do a kitchen sink hair wash yet.” She made a face, “Should’ve warned you before you hugged me.”
He shook his head, lowering his gaze to the floor, “It’s all good, baby. I think you get a free pass.” Javier was hyper aware of the fact that Steve was staring at him. “I’m just glad you’re up and moving.”
“Yeah, well… I want back in the office sooner rather than later.” She grabbed the remote again. “You wanna watch something?” She looked towards Steve then, “We can work on your language skills.”
Steve shook his head, “I've gotta get home to Connie.”
“Right.” She nodded. 
“And Javier and I came in the same car,” He gave him a look, an unspoken warning. 
Steve had a point. Even if it wasn’t ever verbalized. 
This was a dangerous game and he wasn’t about to go down that path. 
“So you did come here to rub in the fact that I can’t go out,” She snapped her fingers. “Aren’t you both real friends.”
Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek and looked away, “Sometimes plans change.”
It was probably for the best that Steve had decided to tag along — otherwise, Javier had a feeling he would’ve been tempted to take advantage of the situation. To use that strange bond that was formed after a near-death experience. He had wants that were solely centered around her and he had to let them go. 
He scratched at his cheek, tilting his head to look at her then, “I didn’t tell you where I was gonna go after. I’m not rubbing anything in.”
She hummed skeptically, “Yeah, whatever.”
“I think Connie’s planning to bring by a casserole tomorrow.”
“Ohh. Well, maybe the three of you could come over tomorrow and we can have dinner together or early lunch.”
Javier rubbed his thumb over the crease between his brows, sighing heavily. “Yeah, maybe. I might have plans.”
“Alright, then Steve and Connie can just come over.” She corrected with a slight edge to her voice that made something wither and die within him.
Goddammit. He should’ve just fucking called. Then he wouldn’t have to sit there feeling like an idiot for caring. 
Caring too much. 
Javier dragged a hand over his face before rising off of the arm of the sofa, “Steve’s right, we probably should get out of your hair.”
She frowned as she met his gaze, but it was a fleeting expression that was replaced with a grimace as she hauled herself off the sofa. 
“You don’t have to get up—“
“I want to.” She huffed, letting Javier help her up off the sofa. Her fingers curled around his forearm for support, her touch like a fire that burned him. 
“Just don’t hurt yourself.” Steve retorted, arms folded across his chest as he watched the pair of them. 
“Not planning on it,” She retorted with a thumbs up, releasing her hold on Javier. “Thank you for coming. Both of you.”
Javier gave her a faint smile, “I’ll call.” 
She nodded, looking away from him then. “Not gonna hold my breath.” 
“I’ll let you know about tomorrow,” Steve told you, winding his fingers through his hair as he started for the door. “I’m sure Connie will want to come over.”
“You’re both more than welcome.” She told him, hobbling on her bad leg as she followed them to the door.
“You never mentioned what the gun was for,” Javier pointed out, stopping a few feet behind her. 
“If you called you’d known,” She shot back without hesitation. “I’m not stupid. I know I should be watching my back.”
Javier sighed heavily, “I’m sorry—“
“Don’t.” She shook her head as she pulled the door open. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Javier.”
Javier lingered in the doorway, staring straight ahead at Steve in the hallway, before he turned back towards her. “I’ll call you tonight, alright?” He worked his jaw slowly as he looked down at her. 
“I’d like that.”
“You have a good evening, now.” Steve drawled out, cutting into the moment and dispersing whatever new tension has formed there. 
“The Past Does Not Forgive has been on every night.” She told Javier as he lingered in front of her, “I’ve been dying to hear your thoughts on it.”
Javier chuckled, “I think Esteban should cut his losses and get the hell out of that situation.”
She laughed, “Oh, he’s a fool blinded by love.”
“Aren’t they all.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing back at Steve who had propped himself up against the wall — watching them. “I should go. Take care of yourself.”
“I am.” She reached out and gave his arm a squeeze. “Thank you again.”
“For what?”
“Being there.” She pulled away and took a step back, shutting the door between them. 
Steve cleared his throat, “You good, man?”
Javier shrugged, “Seeing your partner get shot fucks you up.” He said dryly, “Don’t get jealous. I’d be just as torn up for you.”
He fished a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, sticking one between his lips and lighting it up. “That’s horse shit and we both know it.”
He bummed a cigarette off Steve, lighting it up and taking a drag. “I don’t know, I think if we lost you it would throw this whole shit show on its head.”
“Good thing I’m not leaving.” Steve said a little too quickly.
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lokisimps · 4 years ago
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A Promise (Jean)
 TW:!! THIS FANFIC HAS SELF HARM, AND BLOOD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
Request: Can I ask for Jean x fem reader? angst(self-harm-reader) to fluff?
A/N: sorry this turned out shorter than i expected! 
Jean sighed, tapping her fingers against her desk. Her eyes moved down to watch the clock laying on her desk, before flicking back up to the door of her office. Normally she wasn't one to nitpick details, but when you started being more tired, not around as much, she got worried. You usually weren’t one to make her wait for long which only made your lack of presence worse. She let out another exhale and stood up to her full height, letting her heels clack against the floor slightly. She was going to go find you and ask you what was wrong. Jean was prone to worrying even if you asked her not to, its just in her nature. Jean began a brisk pace out of her office. She found herself walking towards the library instead of the door.
“Ah Jean, won’t you be a dear and help me bring all these books down to Kaeyas office?” Lisa asked, not even bothering to turn around and meet the blonde's eyes, if she had she would’ve been able to pick up on Jean's distress. Jean found herself smiling a bit in Lisa’s presence, her friend was always there for her no matter the trouble. 
“Oh, i actually had a question for you…” Jean said, her thoughts trailing off at the end as she stared at the pile of books Lisa was working on. She wasn’t interested in the books, Kaeyas business was his own after all, she was just thinking on how to word what she wanted to ask. Lisa spun and upon meeting Jean’s thinking face let out an amused puff of air. “Looking for Y/n?” Lisa smiled and quirked an eyebrow at the Acting grandmaster. The slight blush that crept on Jean’s face and the way her gaze snapped up from the books infront of her to meet Lisa’s was enough to give the mage her answer. “Well actually..” Lisa started, her brows furrowing as she thought back on the strange girl. “I haven’t seen her around much recently. The cutie came over to give Klee her hat back and then left and I haven't seen her since.” Lisa shrugged. It really wasn’t her business to keep track of Y/n, Though she did note that the young girl hadn’t been coming by to visit Jean, or Klee, nearly as often as normal. Jean sighed and gave Lisa a slight bow. “I’d love to help you with your books but-” The electro mage cut her companion off with a wave of the hand and a snort. “Go on now, I'm sure she will be thrilled to see you stop by.” Jean smiled and let out a quick thank you before dashing out of the library.
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Jean arrived at your house’s door. She smiled at the small place, She had helped you pick it after all, and even saved with you to make the downpayment on the place. Her and you had such sweet memories there, Cooking, dancing together to silly songs, you braiding her hair in different patterns before work, watching klee- well maybe the last one wouldn’t exactly be sweet. Jean lightly knocked on the front door trying not to anxiously rock on her heels. 
“Y/n?? It’s me, Jean. We were supposed to meet today?” She tried not to call it a date, though it really was. After a few moments of no response she knocked again. “Y/n??” her voice was gradually getting more distressed. The idea that you weren’t home briefly crossed her mind. “Better be safe than sorry…” she mumbled to herself already thinking of places to check after. “I’m coming in!” She announced to the door. While Jean was more than ready to go grab the spare key you kept hidden for her, what she wasn’t ready for was the door being unlocked, and what she was even less ready for was the smell of iron, the smell of blood hitting her. The familiar smell brought back images of battles, images of wounds. The din of the streets behind her was suddenly overpowered by her heart pounding in her ears. What if you were hurt? Did somebody attack you? Did you get hurt in battle and not tell her? Should she get the healers now or later? A single sound broke through her thoughts. It was shuffling from the other room.
Jean rushed to the other room, her body kicking into overdrive. She didn’t even bother closing the front door behind her, anyone who would try and do anything shady would pay later. As soon as Jean turned the corner her eyes widened at what she saw. Your room was a mess, bottles of cider or even a few of wine littered on the floor. Tissues everywhere, there were cups and plates stacked to the roof of your room. The most concerning sight was you sitting on your bed, holding a small cloth to your arm, the cloth was a dark grey, but it had visible dark red stains blotting it. Next to you on a different small cloth was a square sharpened piece of metal, what to her dismay looked like an arrowhead turned more into a blade on one end. Your eyes flashed up to meet hers, she looked so scared. Jean was scared, she was terrified. 
While Jean may be one to push herself into denial, she knew exactly what was happening here. The way you looked at her in shame and shock, eyes wide and watery with clear tear stains running down your face. She wanted to hold you, kiss you and tell you’d it’d be okay, to cradle you in her arms and never let you go again, but she also wanted to yell, to ask you what the hell you were doing, why you would hurt yourself, why didn't you tell her, did you not trust her? This wasn’t about her however, Jean took in a shaky breath and extended her arms in front of her passively.
“Hey there darling….” her voice was soft and calm. She sounded comforting and warm, like she had it under control despite the slight shake in her slow steps towards you. Warm tears started to stream down your face as you watched the way she looked at you. You never wanted to make her sad, or worried, but here she was in front of you, concerned and almost crying. You pushed the towel a little harder against your wrist without thinking about it, the push caused you to flinch at the pain. Jean made her way to the edge of the bed and knelt slightly in front of it. You watched her with curious and guarded eyes. Why wasn't she yelling at you? You deserved to be yelled at. Jean reached out a tentative hand to your wrist, causing you to instinctively pull away from her. She grimaced at this, as if your denial of her caused her physical pain. 
“...Can i please heal it? It will do much better than the rag…” Jean asked, her voice soft and barely above a whisper. You looked at her almost suspiciously. The blonde watched with bated breath as you mumbled
“I…...i don’t want you to see it…” you swallowed after you finished. Your throat was dry and aching at you to drink water, it caused your voice to come out low and horace. Just hearing you talk seemed to put a crack in Jeans composure, she knew she shouldn’t, but she was blaming herself for letting this happen. Jean looked up at you with pleading eyes.
“I want to help you, Y/n… please” The last word left the knights voice weakly, a gentle plea. The look of sadness in her eyes made your heart ache and caused you more pain then anything you had done to your body. Drawing in a breath of air and turning your head you removed the cloth from your wrist, wincing as it caused the cuts to begin to ooze again. Nothing could compare to the way your entire body tried to retreat at the gasp that left Jeans mouth. You felt so ashamed, so… dirty, so gross. You closed your eyes not wanting to see it yourself. After a moment a warm hand moved to gently touch the bottom of your arm, the injured part. You could feel it trembling as it tried to steady your arm. Jean gently guided your arm forward to rest on your leg, and moved her hand to hover above the injury. The sensation of flowing cool air surrounded the top of your arm, creating a tingling sensation you recognized as the wound slowly closing. 
Jean's other hand, still gloved, reached out and took the Bloody towel from you, setting it down on the floor next to you. What shocked you was when she grabbed your uninjured arm and started guiding it somewhere. A sob found its way rising to your throat when your free hand connected with Jean's face, it was wet, she had been crying. 
“Y/n…..” her voice cracked. Archons that hurt. You opened your eyes and shifted them down to look at her, and what you saw will be forever burned into your brain. One of jeans hands had created a bubble of ameno slowly healing your arm, her other was holding your hand to her cheek, her lips were trembling, her eyes were streaming tears that now made your hand wet. She looked so sad…. Had you really done this? “...why” was all she asked. She was shaking but trying her best to conceal it. You opened your mouth to talk, to say anything, to give her a reason why. She was sitting inches away in front of you, staring up with pleading eyes. 
“I-.... i don’t…” you trailed off. How were you supposed to think when all you wanted to do was comfort her, tell her you were okay even if you weren’t, even if that was what got you into this mess, you didn’t want her to worry or cry over you. Jeans head fell forward and met your lap, her body shaking into sobs she couldn’t control anymore. The hand that was once on her face left suspended in air. 
“I was so worried-” she choked out. The hand that was with yours left to fall forward and hold onto the leg of your pants, to hold onto you. “You didn’t come by- and when i got here and smelt the blood i-” she got cut off from her own cries. Your injured arm had stopped bleeding by now, but would still need time to fully heal or you would re-open the wounds. Your free arm reached down and pushed its way into her hair, hoping the simple familiar gesture would comfort her in someway. You watched her shoulders shake as she held onto you and cried. Small “im sorrys, im so sorry” was all you could muster out, you were now crying too. The two of you stayed like that, her head hidden in your lap, clutching your clothes as if you’d vanish in front of her if you didn't. After moments of silence, only filled with quiet sobs and whispered apologies, Jean raised her face to look at you.
“Promise me.” her voice came out clearer than it had since she entered the building. Her bright blue eyes piercing yours in a resolute. “Promise me you won’t….” the words hurt her too much to say, her quick glance at your injured wrist told you enough about what she was referring to. “Promise me you won’t. Promise me you will talk to me, or someone….please” the grip she had on your clothes squeezed, you couldn’t tell if it was to emphasize what she had asked of you, or if it was unintentional. You leaned forward, maintaining eye contact as you lightly tapped your forehead to hers.
“I promise you.”
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btxtreads · 4 years ago
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whispers || min yoongi
CHAPTER ONE
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➳ Fate is such a fickle thing. So easy to tamper with. 
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↳ Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader (Based off of the Daechwita MV)
↳ word count: 1.5k words
↳ rating: PG-13
↳ genre: fluff, angst, historical AU
↳ Warnings: Swords, Death, A gun, Battle Scenes, Forced Engagement, Failed Execution, Assassination
↳Trigger warning note: PLEASE BE CAREFUL IN READING THIS FIC. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THE THINGS LISTED ABOVE–PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED UNDER THE KEEP READING SIGN.
↳ a/n: i wrote this for like three days until i realized oh maybe it should be a series so enjoy this first chapter lol also!!!!! i put a lil final fantasy thing here and its kind of a central point to the story lmaooooOoO guys send me some asks im like really bored bls
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Empress Y/N
Empress Y/N (1384 – 1461) was the second emperor of the Baekje kingdom during the early Joseon era and one of the best-known queens of the Joseon dynasty. Born to a consort, the ongju only became the heir to the throne when Gongju Sun, only child of the Baekje emperor and the late empress Shin, became the empress of Goguryeo after her marriage with the Emperor—father of the late crown prince Geum—after his queen’s untimely death. Y/N became the first empress to rule without a king in 1413, until her marriage to her royal guard Park Jimin in 1420. The empress was then succeeded by her son, Park Il-Guk, after she and her husband stepped down the throne in 1446. She died of natural causes in 1461.
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It was a normal day at the temple when the empress suddenly visited. It was dark and silent—the time of the pig[1].
The heavily pregnant empress of Goguryeo, ever the superstitious, approaches the oracle with a careful bow as she cradled her swollen belly. She was due to birth any time.
“Your highness,” greeted the oracle.
“Priestess Cho,” the empress nodded back. “Apologies for having barged in at such an inconvenient time,”
“None-sense, your majesty.” The priestess replied. “The stars have called you here. Who am I to disagree?”
The queen nodded solemnly before setting her hand on her stomach. “I am to birth at any time. I would like you to tell me about my child.”
And tell her she did.
The priestess whispered a prayer as she lit an incense, then closed her eyes.
As if magic, a prophecy tumbled out of her mouth.
A family of greatness
Birthing a child of weakness
As one approaches his end,
A brother prepares to reign.
The queen gasped as tears welled up in her eyes.
She touched her stomach as she felt her child respond to his mother’s touch.
The stars have spoken.
The unborn child will not reach his seventh year, and he will not see his brother crowned as the heir to the throne.
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It had been seven years since then.The country prospered and was better than ever.
The crown prince, Geum, grew up to be a cheerful, kind and intelligent boy. He had an affinity for diplomacy and is exceptionally skilled in warfare and battle strategy. The kingdom loved him.
Prince Yunki, however, was a sad child. Perhaps that was because he was constantly ill and born with a death sentence.
The boy was born with snow white hair, which the queen supposed was the result of his illnesses—though quite unheard of. Despite his affinity for swordsmanship and politics, the boy could barely even wield one.
The queen was disheartened.
Agitated by her son’s fate, the empress once again visits the temple. Once again, she sits across the same oracle.
“Your highness,” greeted the oracle. “You have returned.”
“Priestess Cho. I came for my son,” The queen replied with urgency, no time for pleasantries, “The fates have told you that he will die as his brother ages for the throne.”
“They have.”
“Geum will be groomed for the throne soon,” The queen rushed. “Is the death of Yunki really mapped by the gods?”
“No gods, your grace. Stars—the planet. Destiny. Fate. Whatever it is called.”
“Fate dictates the death of my son?”
“Alas, the stars have changed course.” The oracle whispers. “The spirits whisper.”
“What do they say?”
“That your son will be the fiercest king Goguryeo will meet.” The oracle tells. “The emperor that defies fate and destiny.”
“Priestess Cho, forgive me. I was not talking about Geum.”
“Neither am I.” The priestess replied, shocking the queen into silence as she continued. “He will not die tonight, my queen. Not yet. Not for a long while.”
Perhaps the mistake the queen did that night was not to ask what this entailed.
For the following year, the queen was delighted at what she saw.
Yunki loses his illness, recovering at a fast pace. He grew up a strong prince with fair skin, maintaining his white hair, and a sharp gaze. He became strong and fierce.
The queen perished happily that year, joyed at the fact that her son will live. She returned to the planet as her country mourned.
For years to follow, all was well in the kingdom—they had a crown prince who would rule kindly and another who defied fate.
It wasn’t until years later that it all crashed down.
Prince Geum fell in battle, and the emperor died from grief. Prince Yunki immediately ascended to the throne.
The bitter child that he grew up to be, Emperor Yunki became the mad king. All he did was pillage and burn.
That’s what he did to terrorize nearby cities, that’s what he did to eliminate rebels, and that’s what he did to conquer the Kingdom of Silla.
It was because this that fate finally fixed itself—the planet called the whispers[2].
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Min Yoongi was simply… Yoongi.
He didn’t think anything was special about him—well, except for the fact that he was a time-travelling assassin sent to different moments of history to fix details that would change the course of destiny.
It would be nice to see an ancient Korea after the mess I made in America, Yoongi thought as he headed to his mission.
He shuddered at the thought of his previous mission—Yoongi spent two whole years egging Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton’s rivalry to end in a duel rather than amicable terms.
Never again.
Shaking his head, Yoongi stepped through time and landed where he needed to, Joseon era—the year 1411.
Yoongi gazed around at the busy street and the lively Goguryeo culture—but that really wasn’t what he’s here for.
Yoongi breathed and nodded to himself.
He was back here to do his mission: assassinate Emperor Yunki and restore the timeline.
Securing his straw hat on his head, Yoongi started to walk through the busy marketplace.
While he did feel weirdly out-of-place, he found that didn’t actually care as long as his cover wasn’t blown.
Three loud bangs on a drum and airy horns were suddenly heard, making him feel alive—Yoongi came at the same time they were playing the Daechwita [3].
Yoongi has always liked music. He liked to play, to listen, to sing and dance and rap. He liked it modern, classical, and traditional—and the Daechwita was one of his favorites. Perhaps it was the ties to his culture.
Intrigued, Yoongi went to watch the captivating performance.
“You really like music, don’t you?” A soft voice hummed next to him. “Obviously, right? A person wouldn’t smile that big while watching the Daechwita if they didn’t like music.”
He turned to see a girl, donned in a plain-looking blue and purple hanbok, tilting her head at him.
Yoongi blinked and turned to leave. “Hey, wait!”
The girl ran after him. “Hello!”
“Goodbye,”
“What’s your name?” The girl persisted, as Yoongi turned to another pathway, his hands in his pockets.
“None of your business.” Yoongi quipped, shooting the girl an irritated gaze.
“Sorry, I just found it really sweet that you were so happy, watching the Daechwita,” the girl continued. “While I do like music too, I really don’t listen to the Daechwita much.”
Yoongi sighed, deciding to humor the girl.
“You’re a commoner, what business do you have listening to the Daechwita?”
“You’re right, nothing!” She smiled.
“Right.”
Yoongi continued walking, vaguely aware of the footsteps following behind him.
“So, what’s your name?”
Yoongi glared at the happy girl, who only smiled back.
“If you refuse tell me, I will call you Daechwita until you do.”
Yoongi huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Listen, don’t you have anyone else to bother?”
The girl shrugged. “Not really. Besides, everybody in the country is busy these days.”
At this, Yoongi snapped into attention, turning to the girl to gather intel on his mission. “Why? What’s happening?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” The girl snorted before shrugging. “The emperor of Baekje and his… ah… daughters have arrived. The gongju[4] is going to marry the emperor.”
“Emperor Yunki? A wedding?” Yoongi asked. That bastard is getting married?
“Yes.” The girl nodded, smiling.
“Have you seen the emperor yet?” Yoongi asked curiously, taking note of possible locations.
The girl slowly shook her head. “No, I’ve never seen him. I’m just a visitor.”
“From where?” Yoongi asked.
The girl gulped. “Baekje.”
“Ah,” Yoongi nodded. “What was your name again?”
“…Y/N?” The girl replied hesitantly.
So, this is Empress Y/N of Baekje, Yoongi noted before he shrugged. Didn’t know she was this annoying.
“Okay, then.”
He turned to leave.
“Wait, that’s it? That’s your response? To what I just told you?”
He turned his head and raised an eyebrow. “Yes, was I supposed to say anything else?”
The girl’s eyes lighted up. “No!”
Yoongi rolled his eyes and turned to leave when the girl bounded up next to him.
“So, where are you from?”
Yoongi let out an exasperated sigh.
This was going to be a very long day.
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LORE GUIDE:
[1] In the Joseon era, people told time via sundials and water clocks. As they did not follow the modern format of time yet, they based off of animals. The time of the pig means 9:00 – 11:00 PM.
[2] Based off of the Final Fantasy 7 remake, Whispers were entities that were meant to keep destiny in line. They appear at instances where destiny could possibly change course and make sure that whatever needs to happen, happens. However, this can be broken as Cloud and his team destroys all entities and changes the past, present and future—altering the timeline and creating a new one.
[3] Daechwita is a genre of Korean tradition music played with snares and woodwind instruments. This is usually performed during marching or when the king is out.
[4] Ongju and Gongju are both princesses. Gongju, however is the daughter of the king and queen—a crown princess. An ongju is the daughter of the king and a consort.
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