#gimme my mage i still have his socks

[mostwantedpotato404]

Anders-Dragon Age 2

ART PRINT

[facewithoutheart]

Mr Green in the kitchen with a knife.

Jk gimme... trying to think of weird pairings... Ok yes gimme Lamb/Fiona, socks with banana pattern, AU: actors in a sit com (but it doesn't mean it has to be a Normal AU...), and my request is that you make it very clear that Fiona is as hot as she is dysfunctional (ok you can just make her hot) (a step on me with your threatening boots kind of hot).

I'll see myself out.

From this ask game

Why Fiona agreed to this farce she’ll never understand; the Coven may be her employer but she doesn’t actually need the cash. And, sure, maybe she set that vampire nightclub on fire but she’d only lightly singed three Normals, two mages, and is it really her fault that half of London’s sucky undead went up like flashpaper?

Even Nico agreed she’d done the greater Magickal Creature community a solid with her poorly timed fag toss.

So why has she agreed to star in Vampire Vegas’s fledgling sitcom: Bleeders & Breeders? She’s anemic and has had an IUD for years. Does she even qualify?

“You still have periods?” Lamb had asked (and what fucking kind of name is that? When he ought to be called a Wolf?). “That’s enough blood for me.”

Fiona’d cringed despite the heat that gathered in her belly at the statement. (Would he really eat her out during her monthlies? Christ. Would she even want that?)

(“Yes,” some sick part of her whispered.)

Which led her to now: standing in front of a live audience wearing a sundress, fake nails, and heels. At least she’d been able to talk them out of dying her skunk streak.

“Leave it,” Lamb had said. “It suits.”

What it suited he hadn’t deigned to explain. Not that Fiona actually wanted to know.

Not that Fiona actually wanted any part of herself to impress him.

A PA directs her to neon pink tape on the stage. X marks the spot where she’ll embarrass herself on film, where she’ll make her acting debut.

“Are you ready?” Lamb asks, a better player than her. If she squints, she might actually believe he cares.

“Whatever,” she grunts, making sure to slouch in her tight-fitting ensemble, angling herself in unflattering ways with the hopes someone will cut her from the scene.

“Are you sure?” Lamb licks his lips. “Not sure the banana socks go with the Louboutins.”

“The what?” She plays dumb.

Lamb raises one eyebrow, then advances, cornering her against the nearest wall. Away from her mark, she thinks.

Towards his.

He doesn’t touch her, but he hovers a hand over her leg until he reaches her ankle; she can feel the phantom touch of his caress, cold.

(Still enticing.)

“May I?”

She swallows. Nods.

The corner of his lips twitch upward, just for a second before he places his hand on her ankle.

Fiona presses her spine against the wall as Lamb crosses her right calf over her left thigh. “It’s the red sole,” he explains, “symbolizing love, passion,” he brings his lips to her ear, “blood.”

Her pulse thumps, loudly, throughout her whole body.

Concentrates between her legs.

She knows Lamb can hear it, feel it.

He chuckles. “You’re very flexible, Miss Pitch.”

A moan rises in her chest; she swallows it down.

He drop her ankle like a dead weight. Her body jolts upright.

He steps away, calm, cool, like he’d never touched her at all.

“Shall we begin?” he inquires, a slight dip of his head.

It seems ironic; beginning, when she’s so near the end.

“Whatever,” she grunts, her tone gruffer than before.

Lamb smirks, sniffs. She knows he can smell her arousal.

She lifts her own eyebrow, crosses her arms over her chest, spreads her legs and plants her fancy heels into the boards.

“Game on.”

[slushrottweiler]

OC Interview: Arcana apprentice Terra

The rules: Answer the following questions as your OC of choice. Tagged by @acontrovertialsecret

Hi there folks

Terra

1. What’s your name?

2. Do you know why you are named that?

Coz… it's my name???

3. Are you single or taken?

*Julian appears from behind the couch, and drapes himself dramatically over Terra's shoulder, grinning mischeviously*

Julian: Yes Terra dear, are you taken?

*Terra and Julian just grin at each other, lost in the other for a full minute*

Terra: I suppose so… maybe.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

*Terra snaps her fingers, summoning a small flame on the tip of her finger*

Ah, yeah. Magical Blacksmiths kinda need to be… magic

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

No

6. What’s your eye color?

*Julian swoons dramatically*

Her eyes are like amber, like whiskey lit by candlelight. They warm you straight to your toes.

*Terra laughs and shoves him away*

What he said I guess.

7. How about your hair color?

Teal green, last time I checked

8. Have any family members?

Asra, Rehn, Faust. They are my family.

*before Julian can chime in, Terra chimes in* yes Doc, you too.

9. Oh? How about any pets?

I have a familiar named Ferris. He's a soft grey fox. Does he count?

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

I'm not a fan of the ocean. Or snow. Or the cold.

I blame the fire in my veins.

Julian: don't worry my dear, I'll keep you warm.

Terra: you gonna heat me up Doc?

*Julian blushes *

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

I like to eat. Is that a hobby?

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

*Terra's gaze goes distant, like she's suddenly far away. The wicked smile on her face vanishes.* yeah. I have.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

I already answered this. drop it.

14. What kind of animal are you?

Hmm. Ilya, what animal am I?

Julian:hmm… a Phoenix. Powerful, beautiful. You always rise from the ashes.

15. Name your worst habits?

I'm not great at controlling my temper.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Of course. You can't meet Nadia Satrinava and not look up to her.

18. Do you go to school?

Not since I was a kid? How old do you think I am?

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

I like to think of Julian and I as a pair of disaster Bis.

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

Pffft. Me a parent?

*looks over at Julian's back. A slow, small smile curls on her face *

Maybe.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Lol no. That would mean people know I exist.

21. What are you most afraid of?

Julian's handwriting. Its a nightmare.

Julian * from the other room*: hey!

22. What do you usually wear?

This?

*Terra gestures to her outfit*

I do like stripey socks

23. What one food tempts you?

Seafood. I will defeat the ocean from land

24. Am I annoying you?

Nah, you're fine.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

Shoot

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I mean. Middle I guess? I mean Asra technically owns the shop, and my forge is attached to it.

But I work with my hands.

27. How many friends do you have?

Enough. Sometimes too many

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Gimme!

29. Favourite drink?

Cinnamon whiskey. Tastes amazing

30. What’s your favorite place?

Julian recently bought this amazing sloop boat. Its actually amazing. We've got a massive bed, this gorgeous cabin. Maybe, my favourite place is just the captain's cabin

31. Are you interested in anyone?

*looks over at Julian* I think we've established that

32. That was a stupid question…

Glad you're self-aware

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

Neither. Submerging a mage with literal fire in their veins is… not a good idea. I'm lucky if I can sit in a bathtub hot enough

34. What’s your type?

I've got a thing for smart idiots. Its the whole eccentric scholar thing, it's adorable. Add in a dash of troublemaker and you'll turn me to a puddle on the floor.

Oh. And redheads. Bonus points if they wear an eye patch. *Terra pointedly winks at Julian, who blushes ridiculously*

35. Any fetishes?

God where do I even start.

Ropeplay. For sure. I love to see them squirm. Bit of a voice kink. I'm a vers bottom so I like to try things out.

*giving Julian the side eye* ive been getting into temp play recently. When i get worked I can't control how hot my hands get. I've been… enjoying the reactions recently

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

How the Fuck do you camp indoors?

We done? Cool, let's go Doc.

[cloudvelundr]

Reciprocate

Cloud receives a package.

... due to the increased risk we would recommend phasing out the E04 models in favour of reverting to series C, or testing any F- and G-series as with the rate of attacks the E series is quickly falling to an irreparable state. We would tentatively recommend the F2-2 [link: specs] F3.4-2 [link: specs] or the G5-B [link: specs] provided that the units do not emit any byproduct noise in the range of the danger frequencies – testing may be required as this is not noted on any available reports. Likewise, the towers in the Thurmir and Jarfast townships are also affected but the already in service F2-0 will be sufficient as they are in a milder climate zo

“Oh la laa! Someone’s been holding out on us!”

Cloud blinked away from his report to where Sebastian was cackling over one of the oversized reusable crates Shinra sent out most of it’s shipments in. He’d heard him in the hall chatting with the delivery team between the steady sound of boxes thumping down but it’d been easy to ignore: he was on a roll and over the summer shipments came every couple days for as long as they could. The delivery guys had cut through the common area to the kitchen – technically the mess but it really didn’t qualify – a little while ago leaving Sebastian to rummage and start whittling the pile away. The current box had a post office stamp.

“Someone sent a dildo,” he wheezed.

The couriers heads popped back in.

A “what?” filtered faintly though the ceiling followed by a thundering across the room into the kitchen and then Paige was pushing in looking delighted. Andy followed more sedately.

“Did I hear mail order sex toys?”

Snerk. “No- well, maybe. I dunno – just saw it.”

“Well let’s see! Who’s it for?”

“Gimme a sec, gimme a sec! It’s under some shit.”

He dove back in under the amused watch of the gathered. Cardboard slithered and he cursed, and started removing packages: “Henry... Mairi... oh, hey, sir got something heavy... ‘nother for Henry.. Tomeo... hmmm... aaaand here we are!”

He popped up triumphantly, whoever’s prize in hand.

At about a foot long it looked like two boxes taped together, one smallish but wide and another narrow and long like a post on a pedestal, it did look like it could be a dick in a box. Sebastian flipped it around to find the label and read it with raised eyebrows.

“Hey blondie, something you wanna tell us?”

Cloud squinted at the package as Sebastian brought it over, their entirely too happy squadmates looking on. He accepted it bemusedly and checked the sender.

Zack. Of course it was Zack. Except it shouldn’t be.

“... This is too soon for vengeance.”

“Come again now.”

Cloud ignored him in favour of diving for his PHS, blinking almost invisibly in the light of the room. What were the odds, he wondered around the growing bubble in his chest. The top message was in fact from Zack.

It said: why are you like this

Underneath was a picture of Cloud’s birthday gift to him, in heavy shipping paper, wrapped in loving detail with remarkable resemblance to a dildo.

Cloud snorted into his hand. Started to giggle. Slid to the floor laughing.

“You okay down there?”

He waved off the concern and offered his phone to someone’s hand while he pulled himself upright, amusement still bubbling.

Somewhere behind him Paige started snickering.

“I was gonna ask who does that, but apparently you do.”

A quick flick of keys revealed something somewhat lumpy, brightly wrapped in confetti printed birthday paper, sharing the same shape as it’s box so he pulled it out and lay them side by side.

“Alright give me my phone.”

He took a picture and sent it.

you’re one to talk

and that’s not your coffee table

i sent it to your apprtmt why are you opening it on base

The reply was almost immediate.

i may have forwarded my mail

i’m in icicle for two more weeks but mom was sending cookies

And then the phone rang.

“Zack I swear if there’s chocobo underwear in this thing it doesn’t matter where you are I will find a way to hurt you.”

“Dammit I knew I forgot something.”

There was an echoing quality to his voice. Other voices were chuckling a little too loudly in answer.

“... You’re on speaker phone aren’t you?”

“No point pretending the peanut gallery can’t hear us.”

“Point,” he agreed and switched his as well in favour of poking his gift. There was something hard and brickish wrapped in the not-underpants. “Anyone I know?”

“Don’t think so? Guys this is Cloud, sender of suspiciously wrapped objects. His birthday’s the week after mine.”

“You mean his name isn’t Spike? You lied to me Fair. I’m hurt.”

“Ivo?”

“Real deep. Right here.”

“Piss off.”

“Seriously though, is it a dildo?”

“No. No it is not.”

“Because it’s really convincing.”

“... In my defence I was bored.”

“You’re sure?”

“Zack, I’m a craftsman. Fake fake dick isn’t hard to do.” Someone laughed again. “Besides, Aer might kill me.”

“’Cause this wrap job’s a work of art.”

“Just open the damn thing.”

“Hear hear!”

“You too, Spike.”

“Please,” Andy leaned on the couch, a smirk colouring her words, “show us what wonders the sad penis holds.”

“Fine, fine – happy birthday, dork.”

“You too, nerd.” Paper ripped. “... of course you wrapped it in puppies and cupcakes. Why did I think you wouldn’t.”

“I have a giant roll of that stuff,” It was a rather lovely pastel blue too. Cloud hefted his gift and considered where to start, “I’ll using it for years.”

Cloud heard Zack sigh before another heavy rip and rustle came over the speaker, and decided to open the shaft before the heavy thing could escape on it’s own – already he could see holes where the corners were trying to work their way free. When he ripped in it tried to anyway, nearly slipping free in an explosion of obnoxious sport socks.

The audience pouted.

“Aw, no dildo.”

“Nice whetstone though.”

“Did you have to pick the most eye peeling socks you could find?”

“Duh. Did you have to use duct tape?”

“Well how else was I supposed to attach the banana to the egg thing?”

“He’s got you there, Fair.”

“Why would anyone even need a two egg travel case.”

“Lunch? Hard boiled is a thing.”

“You could put the cream egg things you like in them.”

“Point.”

Click.

“Score! Banana has candy!” A patter of little thumps.

“Of course you immediately dump them.”

“Mmm. Where did you get the fruit things?” Zack asked, clacking one against his teeth, “I can never find them.”

“Places.”

“That’s helpful.”

“I aim to serve,” he replied, plucking at the remaining wrapping.

“Pff. Liar.”

The paper gave way to another pair of socks – the thickest, fluffiest he’d ever seen, and probably the first he’d wear out come winter – which were bundled around a small, flat plastic case. The clasp was stiff but snapped open to reveal game data cards.

“Awesome,” Cloud grinned. The new Tales of Zelig was first up. “I know what I’ll be doing all winter. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome! Two of them were already yours though – I grabbed them when I put the cases with your stuff.”

“Thanks, I didn’t realize I’d forgotten them.”

“No prob.”

“Now finish yours.”

“Yeah, crack open your balls, Fair.”

“That sounds wrong,” Paige muttered. Cloud thought he might’ve flinched.

Sebastian sniggered. “Psssh. It’s hilarious and your know it.”

There was a popping noise and a pause.

“Dude.”

“Cloud, are these what I think?”

“Are they spawns of the materia you keep threatening to steal? Yeah. Yeah they are.”

“You meme loving fuck, I am going to lord this over Genesis forever.”

“Does the commander not have them?”

“No, they’re super rare. Like how you even have them I don’t know.”

Cloud sat back, pensive. “Really? ‘Cause I literally just... found them.”

“Because your luck is stupid. Man, I have only ever even heard of like three Knights, and yours is one. There was a Turk sharpshooter who had one but it went missing when he did.”

“And the last one?” asked one of the couriers.

“There’s supposed to be a green mage on one of the Goblin Islands. Don’t know who it is but even Genesis won’t touch them. But you just found it on a scree. And the water-healing thing- you said you woke up on the way to Midgar and saw it in the bushes but it doesn’t even have a name.”

“Huh.”

“So yeah, it’ll piss Gen off so much. It’s gonna be great.”

“You’re nuts.”

“He’s not like the rumours – the Firaga Incident didn’t actually happen.”

Paige and the delivery guys looked dubious.

“Yeah, I haven’t met him but his men are stupid loyal. You don’t get that by being the crazy who lights your people on fire.”

“These materia probably wouldn’t cooperate with him though. He’s more dark red and these are definitely white and light. He’ll still be jealous as Hel.”

“Now you just have to keep Treasure Princess away.”

There was a pause.

“Treasure Princess, Fair?”

“... Shit. She will won’t she.”

Cloud started laughing quietly into his hand.

“You had ulterior motives, didn’t you?”

“No- I forgot about her until just now. She only really bothers you. But you’ve got to admit it’s funny.”

“I guess.”

“Oh stop pouting.”

“I am not p-”

“He totally is.”

“Traitor.”

“Well,” Andy stood and stretched, “thank you boys for the entertainment, but some of us need to get back to preparing for patrol.”

There was a sudden cursing from the phone: “Shit, us too.”

“Come on Paige. Happy birthday Fair.”

“And Cloud, gift wrapping champion. You guys deserve each other.” The other voices echoed.

“Thanks peanut gallery.” Cloud replied to fading sounds of their movements and switched the PHS back to his ear as his squad wandered back to wherever they had been. The couriers had vanished. He could hear the sound of candy wrappers shuffling as Zack gathered the treats from wherever he’d dumped them. “You too?”

“Yeah. They’re my team – there’s marlboro breeding grounds sprung up nearby.”

“Ew.”

“No kidding.”

“Still, good birthday?”

“It was alright. Quiet. One of the guys bought a cake – it was actually fantastic. But... I’d rather been home.”

“Hmm,” Cloud agreed, arranging his own things on his computer to move. The report could wait a bit. “Same. I think Adam is threatening to bake something, but.”

“Yeah.”

“Still, not a bad place to spend it.”

“And not bad company either.”

“No – the looks I got for that package though.”

Snerk. “It’s the baby-face,” Zack said. “They forgot you’re twenty and a little shit.”

“No, they know that,” Cloud replied, sliding past Sebastian and into the hall.

Sebastian looked up and grinned, “Yeah, it’s ‘oh god our next captain is the kind of guy who sends dildo shaped presents.’”

“Yeah. That.”

“But he also warks back at chocobos, calls anything vaguely canine a puppy, was probably responsible for the glitter ATVs, and is generally a massive nerd, so I don’t know why we’re surprised.”

Zack was laughing again.

Cloud groaned and kept going. “You both suck.”

“Heh. Anyway, I really gotta go now. I’ll try to call you again soon.”

“Alright, say hi to Aerith for me?”

“Will do! And I’ll find you those chocobo boxers!”

“Zackary Fair, Don’t You Fucking Da-” Cloud cut off at the dial tone: “And he’s gone. Jerk,” he murmured fondly and with a shake of his head made his way to his room.

Stuffing the socks in a drawer and the stone with his maintenance supplies, Cloud settled into his desk and flipped his computer back open. And paused. And closed it again.

He reached for the little case, and flicked through it’s contents. It was mid August, still summer most places but there cooling soon and much work blowing in on the wind. It could well be winter before he got another truly quiet hour.

“Try’n’a spoil me,” he murmured, and slotted one into his console instead.

The report could wait.